biaswreckme · 5 months ago
what a glory(ous) night | ot7
From time to time, Namjoon needed them to make him feel small, needed to submit to them, and be relieved of his function as a leader.
Pairing: poly OT7, Namjoon focused
Member: Namjoon, Seokjin, Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung, Jungkook
Length: 4377 words
Genre: smut. pure smut.
Rating: 18+
Triggers/Warnings: aftercare, blowjobs, bondage, calling namjoon a toy, coming untouched, dom/sub poly relationship, established relationship, glory holes, handjobs, light degradation, light dumbification, male chastity, orgasm control, overstimulation, praise kink, safeword checking, sex toys, subspace, sub!Namjoon
This is part [email protected] 's "That Thing You Do" Bingo, filling the square Glory Hole
A/N: thank you SO MUCH @chimknj for all the conversations on the subject of this fic and your amazinggg fic Midnight Double Feature and for beta-reading and improving this work ♥
cross-posted on AO3 too
They’d argued over the logistics of it when it first came up. It would be complicated and they couldn’t risk doing the real thing because someone would definitely recognize him - or them. But they knew how much he wanted to try this, to feel like what he’d described. Yoongi was the one to save the day. He’d just gotten done with remodeling his studio by himself, so he said they could do something to mimic the situation for Namjoon. Yoongi did some research and bought the necessary materials and enlisted some of the members to help him, all the while keeping a secret from Namjoon. He didn’t want to get the leader’s hopes up in case something went wrong, so the fact that they were actually building this thing would be a surprise. It wasn’t all that complicated in the end, but they were still glad it was a secret.
The members noticed Namjoon had been a little quieter than usual, closing himself off, sometimes even seemingly trying to make himself appear smaller on screen when he was with them. At first they thought it was just the stress, especially combined with the fact that they had been traveling a lot and didn’t have privacy enough to have a scene without alerting people around their hotel rooms. As soon as all of them got back they started working on the secret project again, and they finished it just in time for Namjoon to truly need to disconnect from his overthinking mind.
They were in the kitchen, and as they were preparing their dinner, Namjoon surprised them with a question.
“Am I too big?”
They all shook their heads in confusion, almost as if they hadn’t heard him right.
“What did you say, hyung?” Jimin was the one to ask, trying to clarify the situation.
“Am I getting too big? I’ve been seeing some comments about how I…”
“About how you what?”
“About how I shouldn’t be getting so big. Or that I am too big now.”
They all looked at each other, a knowing look in their eyes as they realized what was happening. From time to time, Namjoon needed them to make him feel small, needed to submit to them, and be relieved of his function as a leader. So their secret project would come in handy just then.
That night they comforted him with hugs, kisses, and spoken reassurances. They arranged so Namjoon wouldn’t need to be in the studio for the next few days before putting their plans into action. They discussed the overalls of the scene they planned with Namjoon, needing their boyfriend to be comfortable and be certain they would not push any hard limits, wanting to hear from him what he wanted out of it this time. Sometimes he needed different things according to his mindset or according to how much pressure he was under, but it was exactly as they had imagined.
It started with Yoongi and Seokjin helping him in the shower after he had cleaned himself up, letting the older men start taking care of him as he needed. They didn’t let him do anything in the shower, thoroughly cleaning and inspecting him to their liking, helping put Namjoon into the right and desired mindset for the evening. Seokjin dried him before Yoongi took him into the bedroom to get the only item Namjoon was allowed to wear for the evening.
“Let me put a pretty thing on you, my pretty boy.” Namjoon shivered at Yoongi’s words, a light blush starting to stain his cheeks. He took a deep breath to try and contain his arousal, knowing it would only make it more difficult. “Which one do you want tonight, baby?” Yoongi took the two options from the drawer; one was a soft pastel glittery pink cock cage, its tip imitating a flower, the smallest he owned, and the other was a transparent cage, simpler in its design and slightly bigger than the pink yet smaller than a beginner chastity device, both favorites of their baby.
“The pink one, please.”
Seokjin looked worried, “Are you sure, Joon-ah? It’s been a while…”
“I’m sure. It makes me feel pretty and tingly and small, please.” Namjoon answered, his eyes big and sparkling with trust.
“Of course, baby. Get comfortable, let me put this pretty thing on you.” Yoongi opened the cage and moved closer to Namjoon. On his knees in front of the leader, he gently slips the enclosure on Namjoon’s cock. On any other day he would tease him mercilessly, making the cock become engorged and stand to full attention before pressing some ice cubes on it to shrink it back, but this was not what Namjoon needed today. He didn’t need to be reminded of how big he was; instead, as he locked the cage, Yoongi’s words were nothing but praise.
“Look how well you fit in this pretty sparkly tiny cage, Joon-ah. You may appear big but in reality you’re so cute and small, aren’t you? Such a good boy for me. I think next time we could go even smaller, don’t you think?”
“Yes, please, hyung…” Namjoon almost sobs at the thought, his mind already slipping into that comfortable place. “Want smaller…”
“We’ll go smaller then baby. We’ll find one just as pretty as this is and as pretty as you are. But it’s okay for now? Comfortable?” Yoongi chuckled, knowing that was about to change quickly.
“Yes, hyung, I’m comfortable.”
“Remember that secret project I’ve been working on? Today you’ll find out what it is. But first we need to close your eyes so we don’t spoil the surprise, okay?”
“Yes, hyung.”
Yoongi placed the blindfold on the leader’s face, Seokjin and him holding Namjoon’s hands and guiding him into the living room. While he helped Namjoon clean up and get ready for the evening, the other members were responsible for rearranging their living room. The curtains were closed, lights low and in a different shade to mimic that of a nightclub. There was music playing, though not too loud so they would still be able to hear each other comfortably. And there it was, in the middle of the room, sofas pushed aside so it would fit perfectly.
“Ready for your surprise?”
“Yes, hyung.”
Yoongi took off the blindfold and Namjoon blinked a few times, trying to adjust to the new lighting. And then his eyes widened, a small gasp leaving his lips. He looked at Yoongi and at the other members, surprised, a look of almost disbelief across his face.
“You… you built it? You built me a glory hole?” He asked, tears in his eyes.
“Anything for our baby.” Jimin is the one to answer, holding Namjoon’s face with his hands, using his thumbs to wipe the beginning of the tears falling down. “Save your tears for later, baby. Let’s get you settled.”
Jimin guided him into the box, opening the latch. Namjoon smiled, seeing the pillows and cushions to make the floor comfortable for him. He knew that in reality it might be different, but the attention to detail made him feel cared for. He noticed the small camera attached to one of the walls and turned to Jimin, a questioning look on his face.
“It’s so we can watch you being wrecked, baby. See, it connects to our tv, so you won’t be able to see us and know which cock is in your mouth or on your hands. We will be able to see every inch swallowed by you, every tear rolling down your cheeks, and every drop of precum falling from that tiny,pretty cage as your own cock strains against it,” Jimin said lowly on Namjoon’s ear, helping him kneel down on the cushions.
Someone turned on the tv and through the opened entrance Namjoon could see himself on the wide screen. He didn't know how to react to that image. They hadn’t even begun and he was already looking debauched, excited, and ready to be ruined.
“Are you ready, baby?” Yoongi asked from behind Jimin.
“Yes, hyung. I’m ready.”
“Any time you feel uncomfortable or for any reason at all that you want to call this off, you do it. Remember your safeword, baby?”
“Yes, hyung. ‘Red’ if I want to stop and ‘yellow’ if I need things to slow down for a moment.”
“Good boy.” Namjoon basked in the praise. “We’re closing this but we can hear you perfectly well, okay? And that camera is there for more than just to watch you getting wrecked. You’re safe with us, baby,” Yoongi kissed Namjoon’s head and helped Jimin close the door.
As soon as the latch was closed, Namjoon heard the soft rustling noise of clothes being discarded. They were giving him time to settle down, so Namjoon closed his eyes for a moment, letting himself sink and feel small. The chastity device was beginning to get tight now as he got excited by their plans, but the tightness in the cage only made him feel even smaller, sinking down – now literally – on his feet, hands on his thighs. He forgot they could see him through the camera, and outside the box Yoongi smiled at seeing Namjoon getting settled. This is what he had been waiting for; when they saw through the tv that Namjoon’s eyes were slowly opening, they knew it was time.
It was a little dark on the inside but no more than it was in the living room in general, as there was no ceiling to this box Yoongi built. It was illuminated enough, however, so that Namjoon saw the first dick going through the hole in the wall. He quickly got closer to it but didn’t do anything, waiting for permission.
“Such a good boy,” he heard from the outside, “no need to wait for permission to touch us tonight, baby. Just enjoy it. You know what to do.”
In the back of his mind he was sure he knew exactly which of his boyfriends that cock belonged to; he was too familiar with their scents, their tastes, to not know. But, in that moment of his fantasy being brought to life, he was not sure, and that was part of the thrill of it. Being granted the permission he so craved, he lapped at the head of the cock being presented to him, moaning at the taste, clenching his hands still on the top of his thighs. He knew they liked when he used only his mouth at first – and he liked the challenge - so he put all his effort into being good for whoever was on the other side of that wall. He closed his eyes again and let himself enjoy it, licking and sucking on the erect member to his delight. He crouched lower on his knees so he could suck on their balls, moaning while doing so, his hips moving slightly on their own accord. The cage felt tight, and he felt stronger, reassured of his place. He sucked on the tip again and slowly engulfed it in his mouth, feeling it hit the back of his throat, taking a deep breath, and continued on until he was choking with his nose pressed against soft skin. He did it again and again, feeling his throat constrict, trying to relax as much as possible to take it entirely in his mouth. But he ended up choking anyway, tears running down his cheeks freely. There was no warning this first time. As he was about to deepthroat it again, he felt the cock pulsing on his tongue, warm salty liquid invading his senses and throat, forcing him to swallow as he sucked more into his mouth. He didn’t stop until the person’s hips started moving back to get the softening cock out of his reach and he couldn’t help but follow, almost pressing his mouth to the hole in the wall.
“Look at him, so eager for cock. Go on.”
Another cock entered the hole in front of his mouth and he latched on it, sucking hard and long. His eyes closed again, enjoying the heavy weight and velvety skin on his tongue. He might have started to slip even harder at some point, because he felt a nudge against his throat; apparently he had stopped sucking and was just content with having something filling his mouth like that.
“Open your eyes, baby.”
He did so, his vision fuzzy in the beginning but quickly adjusting as he saw two more cocks ready for him. He hadn’t noticed there were a few more holes on the boxed walls - but then again there were a lot of things he didn’t notice that evening, such as the precise order that his boyfriends were presenting to him. As he sucked on the one in front of him, his hands reached up and he closed his fingers around the erections.
“That’s it, baby,” He heard from one of his boyfriends.
“Look at him, he looks so peaceful. You just need not to think for a while, huh, Namjoon-ah? You just need to be used and be small for us. Such a good boy. Doing so well for your hyungs and maknaes. I bet you don’t even know whose cock you have in your mouth and hands right now but you don’t care, do you?”
Namjoon made some noise in his throat, not even sure of what his answer was, and he heard them chuckling on the outside. He felt a flush in his body at being teased like that.
“It’s okay, baby,” he hears another of his boyfriends say. “Just enjoy it. You don’t need to worry about anything right now besides working that tongue and those fingers. Empty your mind and be our toy, baby, such a good boy toy for us.”
“So eager.”
“So precious."
The cacophony of voices assaulted his senses and he needed to close his eyes again, feeling another presence in the box rather than hearing the door open.
“Don’t need to open your eyes, baby, just keep enjoying it.”
Namjoon obeyed, continuing with his movements, but he paused for a fraction of a second when he felt a wet finger touching his rim. He shivered and moaned, feeling it breaching him, entering quickly followed by another finger. Both stretched him for a moment before he felt a familiar shape and material replacing the fingers. He took a deep breath when he felt the delicious curve of the massager press right against his prostate and taint as it pressed snugly to his skin. His hips jumped when he felt the vibrations beginning. He whined, not noticing his boyfriend was already out of his box again, his own cock wanting to grow but being impeded by the chastity cage. He whined again at the pressure but felt so good at being kept small and he shrank further in his mind, moving his hips with the massager and his tongue on the large cock in front of him, having trouble fitting all of it in his mouth. He remembered to move his hands again, hearing praises telling him how good of a boy he was, how good of a toy he was, and at each praise and tease he felt deliciously floaty and smaller. He let himself fall, knowing his boyfriends would be there to pick him up and build him up again.
He suddenly felt a pressure within himself being released, and mindlessly realized his own cock was dripping from the tiny constraint in its cage, the white liquid flowing and staining the cushions. They must have seen him looking at it because he heard one of his lovers telling him not to worry about the mess, just to continue basking in his pleasure. Pretty boy toys don’t need to worry their minds about anything, do they? He shook his head, getting comfortable again, the constant pressure on his prostate beginning to feel too much. He whined, moaned, sobbed with a cock hitting the back of his throat, but there was no escaping it. He felt the cock in his right hand releasing first, a few drops of cum getting to his skin and he moved to lick the sensitive head before it was pulled away from him, and soon replaced with another hard erection.
He moved his attention to the one on his other hand, quickly putting the entire length into his mouth, choking and drooling on it. He gagged and felt the liquid filling his throat as he brought his boyfriend to the climax. He swallowed, moaning as another one of his own orgasms took his body by surprise, feeling almost like a ruin from how constrained his cock was yet more intense because of the assault on his prostate.
“Please…” he begged, yet he didn’t know exactly what he was pleading for. His buttcheeks clenched, thighs trembling with the effort to keep his position as the pleasure became overwhelming, because whoever had the control changed the pattern and speed of vibrations. He was sure he shouted, begging again, but only heard delighted laughs from the outside.
“Keep still, eyes closed, and open your mouth, my pretty toy.”
Namjoon obeyed, trying to keep still despite the overwhelming need to move his hips to try and take the pressure off his spot. He heard a loud moan from the other side of the wall and felt the shooting liquid hitting his cheeks, his tongue, his neck, the heavy scent of his boyfriend filling his nostrils. He heard praises again and he blushed. Another orgasm ripped through his body by surprise as the vibrations increased even more and he kept his mouth open, drooling on himself and adding to the mess.
“Good boy, you can swallow now.” And so he did, the taste of one of his boyfriend’s cum even saltier as his tears reached his lips.
Another voice teased him. “Look at our toy, coming with his cock being shrunk in that tiny cage. Maybe we can make it more permanent, what do you think?”
“He does look like he’s enjoying himself. Look at him drooling all over his chest. He’s so pretty like that. How do you feel about that, baby? Coming only like this from now on?” The voice laughed when he whined in response. “I would miss his cock, though, hyung. Our baby is so small now but sometimes I like to use it in a different way.” They were talking now as if he was not in the room. As if he was a toy. He shivered. “We’ll have to see.”
He didn’t have time to think about what they were saying before another erection fit through the oval-shaped hole and he moved to suck on it, but changed what he was doing when another voice talked to him.
“Put your mouth closer to the whole, baby, I want to fuck that mouth.”
It wasn’t so easy but they managed. Namjoon feeling the head of the erection hitting the back of his throat, he splayed his hands on the wall, needing, wanting anything to ground himself as his senses became overwhelmed again. Someone changing the vibration pattern yet another time, his whines and cries were muffled by the cock invading his mouth.
“You’re such a good boy, baby. Look at you, so wrecked, so good at taking cock.” He tried to nod before realizing he couldn’t, so he whined again as liquid filled his mouth, his boyfriends’ flavors mixing up in his mouth. “You can only swallow now when you cum again. Hold it in your mouth, open like that.”
He tried to keep it in his mouth. His tongue moving to try preventing the liquid from slipping down his lips and neck, feeling drool gather in his mouth. He barely made a noise as another orgasm ripped through him, his entire body shaking with the strength of it, and he finally swallowed.
“Good toy. We want to see you have one more orgasm before you get another cock in your mouth, though, baby.”
“Please, I can’t…”
“Yes, you can. Do it, toy. Your orgasms belong to us. You’re our toy, and as such, your orgasms are ours to control.” The pattern changed, quick and short bolts of vibration taking him by surprise. His chest heaving with sobs as he was painfully stimulated, too much yet not enough, needing to cum again, needing to be a good toy. A good toy would cum again. A good toy would do it to get more cock, and he could be good. He would be good. As his mind filled with these thoughts, he cried as the vibrations stopped just as he fell over the edge. The frustration of a ruined orgasm taking over his body, the building pressure was released but no pleasure was felt. He shook so hard, shouting, and someone checked in with him - they had been doing that throughout the night, but the voice seemed more worried as his entire body trembled with his heavy sobs and overstimulation. Yet, his color was green, so green. He heard another praise, and the cock he was promised fit through the hole.
He wasted no time and latched his mouth to it, licking, sucking, using his hands to caress their balls, and he felt the vibrations starting again. It was painful yet it wasn’t. His body was not his anymore. His body was theirs, he was their toy to play with and do as they pleased. He lost himself in time. He started sucking and stopped, letting the erection weigh on his tongue as he was sure he’d done before, but was it another of his boyfriends that time? He heard a familiar voice telling him to suck, and so he did, sloppily, jaw hurting but needing to make his boyfriend cum in his mouth. His throat felt raw as he pressed his head forward, feeling the head hit the back of his mouth, swallowing to increase the pleasure. He felt his boyfriend’s balls tighten in his hand as he caressed them, as his last orgasm took over his body at the same time his boyfriend’s did. Liquid pooling in his mouth,he quickly swallowed as his vision started to fail. As the last shock of pleasure ran through his body, Namjoon closed his eyes, darkness overtaking him, and he heard commotion, a latch being opened and arms encircling his body just as unconsciousness overtook him.
He came to his senses - he doesn’t know how much later, but it must not have been that long because his boyfriends didn’t look too worried. His mind was floating, head so empty, but he was smiling, content. He heard their muffled voices as if they were distant, six soft voices telling how much they loved him, how proud they were, and how good he was. He basked in it, one of them telling him to keep enjoying it, his eyes half-closed, feeling six pairs of hands on his body. Someone was cleaning his face and neck. He tried to mumble a ‘thanks’, but he wasn’t sure his voice came out. With each caress and reassurance, he slowly felt himself coming back to awareness. The haziness in his mind was starting to fade away, but the contentment still filled his heart.
He looked and noticed there was a half-empty bottle of water next to him, had he drunk it? Taehyung saw him eyeing it and raised the bottle to his lips, helping him take some sips. Some chocolate was pressed on his lips and he opened them, munching on the small bite. Oh, he had closed his eyes again. He opened them and found five faces looking at him fondly, love overwhelmingly stamped in their eyes. He was half sitting against someone, and even if he hadn’t opened his eyes, he would recognize the feeling of those wide shoulders supporting him.
He felt time passing again as he let himself be held and warmed up in his boyfriends’ arms. There was something covering his body, a pair of hands fluffing up his hair, a soft tune being hummed. At some point the lighting had changed, but that was not important. He drank more water and ate some small bites of something else, and as the fuzziness in his mind cleared, he recognized the snack. He tried sitting up and Seokjin helped him, and as he did he noticed the chastity device and massager on a towel next to him; he hadn’t even noticed they had already taken them out. But of course they had; they knew his limits, knew what he needed in the aftermath of such a heavy scene, knew how to bring him together after they had taken him apart piece by piece.
At some point Jimin had gone and ran him a bath. When he got back from the bathroom saying it was ready, Namjoon was being helped up, his legs shaking with the effort. Jungkook made the move to fully support him, but he stopped him, trying to speak.
“Am heavy…” he mumbled, voice raw, but he was shushed as Jungkook picked him up in his arms and replied.
“You’re not. You’re just tiny. You’re our tiny baby, not heavy at all for me to carry. You can keep your eyes closed…”
“Am… sticky. Dirty.”
Yoongi shook his head and held Namjoon’s hand, following Jungkook’s steps. “Just sticky, baby, not dirty. Never dirty, okay? We’ll clean you up right away.”
“Let us take care of you,” Hoseok continued, being followed by Taehyung.
“You always take care of us, it’s our turn now. Let us baby you and make you feel precious.”
“You’ve been such a good boy for us, Namjoon-ah,” Seokjin complemented, “ don’t worry about anything.”
As he was lowered into the bathtub, the hot water soothing his muscles, he looked at each one of his boyfriends. Adoration filled his heart, each word and action from them making him feel strong and giant in and with their love. He would take care of them and they would take care of him, each person being precisely enough to fit in their intricate relationship.
And in that moment, he knew he would never have to doubt himself ever again.
57 notes · View notes
justasparkwritings · a year ago
Camp Evergreen: You & Me, Me & You Master List
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This is for my @bangtanwritingbingo​ free space! To read the rest of my Summer Bingo series, check out Be the One! BTO will be back and wilder than before on August 20th with I Shall Call Him Joonie, and He Shall Be Mine.
Summary: A summer of theatre, of singing and dancing, longing glancing and passing notes, of kisses late at night and and unspoken truths. This summer is meant to be yours, yours and Taehyung's. But with a new job and new responsibilities, a summer of falling deeper in love is rapidly moving out of your grasp. Can you get it back, or will years worth of unspoken affection be tossed away?
Warnings: Given at the start off each chapter 
Rating: R and NC17 
Completed Word Count: 40K
Notes: I owe so much to @xiaokoo​ who beta’d the OG version, and the rewritten & improved version. Truly, when I was ready to quit and throw it away,  she remained steadfast and has been working with me on this since what... April? March? Thank you for wanting to stick with me, for giving time to this project and editing it so thoughtfully and thoroughly. 
As well as @sugasbabiie​ who read all the smut, gave guidance and is one of my greatest cheerleaders. My smut writing would truly be nothing without you, and I am a much stronger writer because of your friendship. 
I’m obsessed with the turn this took... and I will not apologize for the Riff Off or singing West Side Story.  
Posted: August 2021
You & Me Ch. 1
You & Me Ch. 2
You & Me Ch. 3
You & Me Ch. 4
You & Me Ch. 5
You & Me Ch. 6
Tag List: Message me or comment on this! 
87 notes · View notes
biaswreckme · 5 months ago
in touch | knj
It is too much of a hassle to date, to be secretive, to make an effort to get to know other people is what Namjoon tells himself, when in truth he is still struggling trying to find out his own truth.
Pairing: none
Member: Namjoon
Length: 1671 words
Genre: introspection, smut, character study
Rating: 18+
Triggers/Warnings: masturbation, fingering, questioning (and the struggle) of one's sexuality, considerations on asexuality, possible ace!namjoon, mention of feeling uncomfortable with physical touch
This is part of @bangtanwritingbingo 's "That Thing You Do" Bingo, filling the square Kim Namjoon
A/N: A huge thanks to my lovely beta-reader @moccahobi. seriously. your comments were so thoughtful and helpful, i don't even know how to thank you properly for improving this work so much. and thanks @chimknj for helping with the title ♥
cross-posted on AO3 too
-- Namjoon enters the bedroom and locks his door, not wanting to risk any interruptions tonight. He is thoroughly showered and clean, happy to finally have a night all to himself. In closing his curtains, it’s finally time to shut down the heavy illumination from the outside world. He feels like the overhead light is too harsh, so he turns it off too, opting instead to turn on the lamp on his bedside table and a candle too to create the perfect atmosphere.
The room finally feels like a true home. The soft vanilla scent from the candle is starting to permeate the room; it’s not too strong as to nauseate him, but still perceivable enough to make his bedroom smell nice. When he looks back, it seems like the place he wanted to have when he was a child.
Namjoon takes off his robe and plops down on the bed; he thinks his body grew too big before he could truly learn how to maneuver it and it shows in his clumsiness, but it’s been getting better, he’s been learning how to be more aware of his own physique. The clean sheets feel nice and crisp on his just-showered skin, the pillows by his head and the soft comforter almost engulfing him in a hug of comfort. Namjoon gets his phone and scrolls through social media for a few minutes, catching up on tweets, basking in the softness of everything around him.
Here, by himself, is where he finds his comfort. He has tried casual dating, serious yet hidden from the spotlight dating, and one or two meaningless evenings. There were interesting conversations and attempts at making himself feel good, but it was never worth it. It is too much of a hassle to date, to be secretive, to make an effort to get to know other people is what Namjoon tells himself, when in truth he is still struggling trying to find out his own truth.
He writes in his songs, this desire, this need for someone else, for a more intimate kind of touch, but it’s been a while since he’s actually had any contact like that with another person. There has been, of course, always a risk in hidden encounters to satisfy certain needs. Namjoon always found the risk ended up putting a certain pressure on the act itself, and it was never pleasurable enough - at least it didn’t seem to live up to what other people talk about.
Sometimes he thinks all this questioning is too late, surely, right? A lot of people questioned sexualities, orientations, preferences at a much younger age. Is he too late for that? Namjoon would browse forums, people sharing their stories, and found himself relating to some yet it was never his particular experience. So he shares anonymously, reads the comments, interacts with people who have already questioned and settled. He feels like there is a lot that he still doesn’t know. So Namjoon reads and researches without rushing, yet still hasn’t found an answer.
There is some difficulty in choosing a label. Not that he necessarily needs one, but in this process of learning more about himself, Namjoon struggles in identifying himself with a specific group. It’s as if part of himself is missing, a hollow ache in his heart that sometimes feels silly to fill it with a word, but he also doesn’t know whether having a label would properly fill this hole.
Sometimes, the colors gray and purple seem fitting though, he thinks. Some shades of the colors seem to fit at times. One or two people comment that he can’t use the colors, that they don’t really fit him because of what he does in the privacy of his bedroom some evenings. He feels even more lost when it happens, not knowing where he can belong and be himself.
Because of this feeling, this excitement that runs through his veins and obliterates his senses in such a way that he can only focus on finding pleasure. Because it sometimes takes over his body and the need to fulfill it, even though it might not have any particular reason.
However, just the mere thought of having another person in such close proximity, touching his naked body, feeling his vulnerability, helping him alleviate this need to touch, makes it feel as if there is a creature crawling underneath his skin. Namjoon shakes his head when this happens, trying to clear his thoughts and feelings, trying to drive away the feeling before he starts scratching in anxiety to try and get rid of it.
Other people say he might find a very particular nuance of the color that fits with what he truly feels.
Namjoon shakes his head again. It is not about that tonight. Tonight there are no questions, only feelings. He lets himself get distracted by the screen, sees some artwork that piques his interest, some stories that take him out of his heavier thoughts. He starts feeling it, that initial low desire running through his body, chills making the light hairs on his arms and legs stand up. He doesn’t imagine anyone in particular. If he does, it’s not really anyone he knows on a personal level. He enjoys the disconnection in the moment, himself as outsider third-party, not necessarily a voyeur. He is there yet he isn’t.
He drops his phone and closes his eyes, letting his hands roam free on his body. He takes his time, caressing his skin, feeling the callouses that began forming a long time ago and never really went away with all the exercising and training. The muscles are harder under his hands, as he starts noticing the changes in his physique since he started working out more heavily. He doesn’t need - nor want - to imagine other hands; his are enough and the ones that truly feel comfortable doing this.
His hands go down his torso, not paying much attention to his nipples, they’re not that sensitive anyways. Sometimes he takes longer on them, but tonight he is content like this.
He spreads his legs and his fingers caress his hips, lowering to his thighs. He feels the softness of the skin in his inner thighs, how delicate and sensitive it is. A soft sigh escapes his lips. He thinks he will be satisfied if he stopped there, but he has planned differently. He lets his hands get closer to the part in his thighs, feeling the short coarse hair entangle in his fingers. He spends a moment there, it feels a little ticklish, but not to the point of being unbearable. He swears he feels it deep in his belly too. His cock is standing to full attention, but there is no rush to get to it. His hands almost have a mind of their own, knowing exactly how, where, and how to touch his own skin.
His head falls back onto the pillow, he arches his back and one of his hands cups his balls. He pauses for a second to get the lube from the bedside table, warming it up in his fingers as he goes back to where they were touching before. He doesn’t particularly like it messy, so he keeps the robe under his hips. As he strokes his cock slowly, the fingers on the other hand slowly travel lower, the chill in the air enhancing the cold sensation on his skin as the lube leaves a small train as he goes down his perineum, until his fingers are softly and almost ticklishly circling his rim.
The hand on his cock increases its tempo, stroking up and down faster. His mind seems to get foggy with pleasure, hands moving almost on their own now. The fingers that are circling his rim now barely breach him as he increases the pressure. He presses the finger a little more inside just to tease himself, taking a deep breath to try and relax at the same time the pleasure builds, which seems almost contradictory as he feels his thighs clench. It is challenging yet he manages to do it, knowing it will get better from there on.
Some days he likes to edge himself a few times, test his limits, delay his pleasure, but tonight he doesn’t want to deal with the aftermath of how vulnerable he becomes after those explorations. Instead, he lets the pleasure build and build, his finger moving in and out while his whole hand moves up and down.
He finds a rhythm, his hands falling into a complementary dance with each other. It is not a competition right now - although sometimes he likes doing things differently - it is more of a beautiful harmony being composed, movements in sync.
He doesn’t need much more than that. The pressure deep inside of him increases and takes over his senses until it explodes in a litany of small shocks and shivers, the warm liquid coating his fingers, his walls clenching around the single digit that has breached them.
He smiles, eyes still closed, letting his body fully relax into the sheets, loose limbs splayed. There is a sigh of content leaving his lips. He stays like that, he doesn’t know how for how long.
Sometimes he needs the comfort of his covers and he quickly cleans himself so he can bury himself under them, needing the sensation of being enveloped in a hug without actually wanting to have any real physical contact. Sometimes he cleans himself with the tissues by his bed and gets back to whatever he was doing before, moving on with his day. Today, though, he just lies there, allowing his body to flood with this sense of completion, basking in the aftermath of pleasure, no discomfort of another body pressing against his or demanding for something he doesn’t feel like giving.
He still feels unsure about a label, but in acts like these, in how he can truly relax his entire body and mind, he feels content in his exploration and complete with himself.
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justasparkwritings · a year ago
Be the One: Master List
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A Summer Bingo Series brought to you by #thebtswritersclub @bangtanwritingbingo​ posting every Friday & Saturday @ 7PM, PST
Summary: It isn't that you're tired of being single, it's that your friends are tired of hearing about it. In an attempt to force the hand of your Friend with Benefits, you plead with your best friends to set you up with a series of eligible bachelors. Will this summer push you into the arms of the man you've always loved, or send you into the beds of these eager suitors? This summer in the city is going to be a scorcher, are you ready to find out who is going to Be the One? 
Genre: Smut, Angst, Fluff, Non Idol AU 
Rating: 18+ 
Warnings: Explicit Sex and Sexual Acts (I blame @sugasbabiie​ for this), Swearing (bc I always swear and I refuse to stop), Alcohol Consumption. 
Specifications in each chapter! 
Completed Word Count: 130K
Tag List: message me! 
Beta: @pars-ley​ 
Banner: KTH, KSJ, JJK, PJM, KNJ 
Posted: June-September 2021
Love Again: Be the One Sequel
Mood Boards
KSJ - KNJ - MYGxJHS - KTH - PJM - JJK - Epilogue 
Joonteenth  Total-Equinox-of-the-Heart Baby, You’re the End of Joon  You Had Me at Pride Of All the Degas in the World Jimindependence Day  Blueberry Fields Forever  Training Date Side-Saddled in Love Mudder Lover  Are You There Simone? It’s Me, the Uneven Bars  One Cart, Two Cart, Burger Cart, Sushi Cart  Charlotte on the Beach  All’s Fur in Love and Sunscreen 
I Shall Call Him Joonie, And He Shall Be Mine Chimcerto Lookin Right Chalk Boy & Pavement Girl The Banana Boat Will Be Making Another Run  Lightning - Butt  Seokjin & The Philosophizing Six Year Old Slow Melt You Say Peaches, I Say Nectarines  I-sland-You
Ask My Muse Questions 
Merry & Bright {16}: Christmas Party Meet Cute 
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