#banned from a Taco Bell

[hoofpeet]

emmet is the type to go to a soda fountain and but a burst of every option in there, including water and the fruit juices.

#mailbox #hoof draws #submas #emmet gets banned from taco bell permanently

[strebcrarchivess]

@z0mburger the Cesare face of all time :^)

#Just a dandy pineapple in space #He's banned from 50 taco bells -affectionate-

[pigeonperch]

I don’t think it’s as funny if you use the “secret third thing” format when you aren’t referencing an actual dichotomy tho cuz like. Yeah the secret third thing is the many other things everyone has heard of

#these dichotomies are FALSE. banned from the Taco Bell forever #unless that’s the point in which case I just don’t find the format very funny #latest from the perch #ok to rb

[dreamlogic]

y'all have to meet one of my most treasured possessions, who i got for $1 at a thift store, but is priceless in my heart. 1999 officially licensed star wars the phantom menace collectors drink cup exclusive to pizza hut, KFC, and taco bell:

important detail: his arms are posable. 360° jar jar action 24/7.

he was first christened Jar Jar Drinks, on account of being able to stick a straw through his skull and. drink. however, he tastes strongly carcinogenic and probably contains several types of plastic that have been banned since his manufacture in 1999.

so, when i was working food service and a good chunk of my income was from cash tips, i started stuffing a fat roll of cash inside him for safe keeping. he became known as Jar Jar Banks.

since i stopped living a life where i have large sums of cash money i need to squirrel away regularly, the name fell out of favor. but i still cherish him, and i knew he's destined to be filled with something someday.

well. i just realized i can hide my weed stash in his torso. so, without further ado, i would like to introduce you to this thrice-christened icon: Jar Jar Danks.

#charlie vs star wars #laugh tag #he's real and he can hurt you. seriously please don't drink out of him even plain water kind of tingles on the way down. #cc

[ghostlykeyes]

Hi Keyes! Nice to meet you ❤️ I was wondering if you would accept a request 👉🏻👈🏻

Its my first time asking for requests! So sorry if Im not clear enough of if I forget the rules. Im totally new at this T-T

I had this idea in my mind for a long time and I was wondering if you could consider writing it! Kayn x fem reader headcannons where Kayn falls haaaard for reader cause he found a partner in crime in her. They both like to cause a little trouble here and there, and also he found someone that could drive ever FASTER than him.

Omg Im so in love with him 😮‍💨❤️

Thank you and hope Im not breaking any rules!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

HEARTSTEEL KAYN/TROUBLEMAKER READER ♡ No TW's ♡ SFW ♡ Nice to meet you, you're so sweet!! Thank you for your fantastic request, I loved writing it! I hope you'll feel free to request more in the future (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

KAYN

Instead of traditional nicknames like "honey" or "babe", Kayn exclusively calls you his little demon. Given your wild side, it's pretty accurate.

All it takes to get Kayn to do something is a dare. He has a hard time turning down dares as is, but if it's coming from you? His partner in crime and chief enabler? Oh, no way in hell he's backing down. Naturally it works for big, bold things: popping a wheelie on the Paranoia MV motorcycles, climbing a water tower, vandalizing a cop car. It also works for small things, too, though. Dare him to get you a glass of water or give you a kiss and he'll roll his eyes, but comply. "Oh, a dare, huh? You know I can't turn those down." He folds to your innocent, cute demands like paper. Just be mindful, though; he knows you're a troublemaker too, and he's not afraid to throw a dare or two of his own your way.

Whenever Ernest is naughty, fingers immediately point at you and Kayn. "He gets it from you two," the rest of Heartsteel claims. Kayn just shrugs. "We're his favorite," he defends (not true���Ezreal is clearly Ernest's favorite, but it's best not to rub that in Kayn's face). "Of course he's gonna take after us." He rubs Ernest's ears, completely ignoring the fact that he just stole food off the counter or shredded K'sante's favorite shoes. "Yeah, you're our little monster, huh?" If you didn't know any better, you might think Kayn is encouraging the dog's troublemaking...

(He is. He totally is. You've literally seen him sneak Ernest a treat after turning one of Sett's plushies into a chew toy.)

Kayn nabbed your phone one time and set the home screen as a picture of his mug shot from the music video. Not to be outdone, you stole his phone and set the home screen as a picture of your mug shot. Kayn has nothing but questions. "Is this real?? The fuck did you do? Why do you look so hot in this..." Of course, you don't tell him if it's real or staged. You can't give away all your secrets so easily, now, can you?

There's a change jar in the Heartsteel apartment kitchen marked "Kayn and (Y/N)'s Bail Fund". At first you thought it was a complete joke, but then you noticed Ezreal drop a twenty in there after Kayn broke a Taco Bell drive-thru window during a night-out. Now you're not so sure. Either way, hopefully you'll never have to use it for that.

Every single time you and Kayn go somewhere, it's a race. You line your cars up at the mouth of the parking garage and then you fucking go. You've raced to McDonald's for lunch, raced him to his rehearsals, you even raced him to a funeral one time. There are no rules except 'get there first', and yes, this little game has resulted in multiple speeding tickets. But whatever what's a small fine compared to an adrenaline rush? They wouldn't put 130 on the speedometer if they didn't want you to do it.

Kayn and you have been permanently banned from a fair handful of establishments. Reasons why include: totaling a go-kart, throwing bowling balls overhead, bribing a ring toss worker to get a gigantic Bulbasaur without playing the game (Sett really, really wanted it). And that's the beginning. Don't even get Yone started on the infamous Laser Tag Incident...

The perfect date for you two is a rage room. Yone got you and Kayn passes for a local rage room for Kayn's birthday one year. Playing frisbee with glass dinner plates? A surprisingly good time. Sure, they may have asked you not to come back after Kayn got a little rowdy with an old radio and an extension cord (you asked him how high he thought he could slingshot the thing and the answer was "pretty fucking far", which of course he had to prove), but it was a good time regardless. Whenever Kayn's feeling extra stressed and you don't want to deal with the fallout around real property damage, you take him to a rage room for the afternoon and smash bottles to your hearts' content.

Kayn never paid much attention to minor scrapes and bruises before meeting you. But, since you're now hopping fences or slipping through open windows together, he's suddenly become attuned to the bumps acquired while daredevilling. He keeps a small container of band-aids in his bag just for you. "I might have some bandages in here," he grumbles whenever you get scraped up. "Dunno if I used 'em all." (Of course he hasn't. They're your band-aids and he wouldn't dream of using one.)

Whenever Kayn just needs to talk, the two of you often sneak into an old building to do it. Getting caught puts your nerves on edge, for sure, but it allows Kayn to pretend he's not anxious about discussing his own feelings or worries. Of course he feels vulnerable, you two are trespassing! That's totally why his palms are sweating and his chest feels tight. It has nothing to do with his deep-seated reluctance to talk about his emotions. If you can tell Kayn's wound up extra tight, offer to sneak into a nearby community pool or abandoned gas station late at night. Under cover of darkness, in the silent hallways of a vacant building, Kayn lets you take a peek under his dark shell.

#heartsteel #heartsteel headcanons #heartsteel kayn #heartsteel x reader #kayn #kayn x reader #kayn/reader #sheida kayn #lovewhatsnotreal

[tiniedemon]

— ♡

reasons kenny mccormick has been banned from us fast food chains

mcdonald’s

came behind the counter to make his own ice cream cone

smoked in the dumpster corral

hid in the bathrooms and walked out after close, scared the shit out of the employees

wendy’s

ordered 12 baconators and then left before he paid

took a broom from the storage closet and started sweeping a random spot in the floor

danced on top of the counter

taco bell

bought 14 soft tacos, took a bite out of each, and asked for a refund because he decided he wasn’t in the mood

bought a large drink, then refilled it with baja blast enough times to fill 5 gallon sized ziplock bags

stole an entire bin of mild sauce

panda express

tp’d the bathroom

bought a large cup, then used it to get enough ice and sweet tea to fill a large cooler

walked behind the counter and started doing the dishes in the back

burger king

i’m convinced you can’t get banned from a burger king

but probably accidentally drove his car through one of the windows

whataburger

ate an entire sandwich except for one bite and got a refund, multiple times

planked on top of the counter

sat behind a bush in the drive thru and jump scared customers

#kenny mccormick

[pendragon1400]

modern bg3 head cannon. Room mates eating habits.

Gale:I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Gale has two modes 1.Full healthy meal with at least four sides or black coffee and maybe toast. He also cooks for everyone just bc “Well I was already in the kitchen…” and proceeds to make different dinners for everyone.

Astarion: (let’s just pretend that he can eat normal food.) he claims to have refined taste and he does, but you can find him most nights in the kitchen eating shredded cheese from the bag or Taco Bell.

Karlach:After almost burning down the kitchen three times, Karlach is banned from the kitchen. So she mainly eats instant stuff, or fast food.

Lae’zel: Protein bars or shakes. Like a concerning amount of them.

Wyll: A decent cook, Karlach asked him to make things when Gale is either busy or not cooking. Occasionally burns things but very rarely, favorite thing to make is pasta.

Shadowheart: Can cook, won’t cook.

Halsin: Surprisingly good, but usually just makes fruit and cheese plates. Or some other cold food. Loves sushi, can’t make it to save his life.

#bg3 #funny #astarion #gale #karlach #shadowheart #wyll #halsin #modern au

[vaulthunterlands]

now i'm imagining all of the vault hunters working at fast food establishments (except aurelia. she'd probably be a critic at some extremely fancy-pants restaurant), which ones do you think would fit each of those?

Alright this is probably my favorite ask I've gotten in a while. Full disclosure I rarely eat fast food so I'm going solely off of vibes here

Roland: Gives me McDonald's/Burger King manager energy (except he's a good dude and not like a shitty manager) ((we love roland))

Lilith: Honestly? I could see Lilith working at like Panera. If that doesn't count as fast food probably like... Pizza Hut.

Brick: You already know my man works at Burger King. He wears the crown.

Mordecai: Definitely like a pizza hut or domino's type of guy. Tired and doesn't get paid enough (no fast food worker does)

Axton: you know that one drive thru worker who would sing the McDonald's theme and everyone loved him? That's Axton.

Maya: Maya would probably find herself working at Starbucks. I could absolutely see her being a fantastic barista and calling anyone who whined about her order a bitch. Also she'd look good in the apron...

Zer0: Works at Five Guys, also does the "Back at it again at Krispy Kreme" Vine thing every shift. Worked at Subway, got fired because they'd make people speak in haiku to order their sandwiches.

Salvador: Wendy's man. Surprisingly, tame at work. I could also see him as a Dunkin Donuts worker.

Gaige: If Gaige was forced to work fast food she'd probably get a McDonald's job and do the "overly nice but obviously sarcastic" voice to everyone until she snapped and got fired. Also probably dips her metal hand in the grease traps to slap a bitch.

Krieg: "THE LITTLE MAN LOVES THAT CHICKEN FROM POPEYE'S!" also employee of the month.

Athena: Canonically was very desperate for work so probably any of them but I think the funniest thing I can think of is Athena being one of those stone-cold McDonald's managers that have to constantly deal with shitty customers. I could also totally see her being a Chipotle worker and wrapping her burritos way too tightly out of aggression.

Nisha: I don't know if Texas Roadhouse counts but if it doesn't she'd definitely be working at a Pizza Hut. Hates her job.

Wilhelm: Disgruntled Burger King worker. (This ask was in response to the post I made about him)

Claptrap: Honestly, I could see Claptrap at any fast food restaurant but thinking of Claptrap as a sign spinner for like... Taco Bell seems perfect. KFC is also an option (props if you get this)

Timothy: Again, would work any kind of job for money, but I want to say he'd fit into like a Sonic or something.

Aurelia: As per the ask, would not go within 500 feet of a fast food restaurant. Prestigious food critic, total bitch about it. (I really love Aurelia I promise)

FL4K: Gives me Burger King energy because I think it'd be hilarious to see them wearing the crown. Also because I want to hear SungWon Cho (FL4K's VA) say "Your whopper is ready."

Zane: Banned from all fast food restaurants for public inebriation. Was formerly employed at Panda Express.

Moze: You know my girl is a Taco Bell employee. Drinks exclusively Baja Blast mixed with monster. Constantly making suggestions to people about what's good on the menu. Somehow doesn't put on any weight even when her diet is solely Taco Bell for like a month.

Amara: You know Amara would ideally want to work at one of those muscle bars, but as for fast food? I want to say she'd work at Arby's because she finds the commercials funny. That or Chipotle.

#borderlands #borderlands 2 #borderlands 3 #roland the soldier #lilith the siren #brick the berserker #mordecai the hunter #axton the commando #maya the siren #zer0 the assassin #salvador the gunzerker #gaige the mechromancer #krieg the psycho #athena the gladiator #borderlands the pre sequel #wilhelm the enforcer #claptrap borderlands #claptrap the fragtrap #aurelia the baroness #aurelia hammerlock #timothy the doppelganger #timothy lawrence the doppleganger #nisha kadam #nisha the lawbringer #moze the gunner #fl4k the beastmaster #zane the operative #zane flynt #amara the siren

[zoeyslament]

MORE NISCHA HEADCANONS. YES.

-They’re either the most pathetically adorable lovey-dovey couple, or they’re insulting each other as a show of affection.

-Sometimes Mischa flirts with his boyfriend through the Taco Bell drive thru window, to the point where he has himself banned from Taco Bell

-Mischa 100% sings in the shower, every time. Noel finds it pretty endearing.

-Mischa is actually a really good singer he just doesn’t do it (outside the shower ofc) unless he’s rapping.

-Noel writes shitty poetry that Mischa then makes into shitty raps. Real relationship goals.

#rtc #ride the cyclone #mischa bachinski #nischa #noel gruber #headcanons

[raenavolante]

Some Velvet facts:

-he’s the youngest of (at least) three siblings

-he’s 5”10.5 but rounds up to 5”11

-he prefers cameras to be mirrored

-his brother and sister-in-law live in Virginia, so back when ant lived there they’d drive over to visit

-he went to a private Christian school and got in a lot of trouble there

-iirc he was suspended at least once for a ‘lick me’ sticky note

-MAJORRR theater kid

-started as a theatre major, swapped to stats major, then dropped out

-had a 4.0 gpa and was always really smart

-watches political videos from both left and right wings regularly

-is currently banned on reddit (he is missed dearly)

-he’s actually a pretty quiet person when he’s not making a joke

-he has glasses he never wears. I’ve tried to hint he should show us to no success

-ant says he looks cute in his glasses

-his sister has a cat (cous-cous)that him and ant have babysat before

-he’s very cuddly with all 3 of his pets

-he’s been high at least once during ppsat

-he respects bbh a lot, and they talk often off stream

-he hardcore repressed the Gay in school

-ant is his first relationship (unless you count a fourth grade gf)

-owns a red car

-gets very passionate about things he’s interested in (taco bell, hearthstone, politics, etc)

-he always asks chat questions and waits for us to answer

-he’s not overly tech-saavy (ant has had to rescue his stream a few times)

-he didn’t like dream much when they first met

-he’s not as experienced in the kitchen as ant, but often brings ant dinner if he is busy streaming

-he is not afraid to shout things like “penis” out in public

-he doesn’t watch twitch very often

-unironically hole in the wall is his favourite mcc game

-his birthday is one day before Valentines

-he uses light mode on everything

-he only has one monitor

-regrets a lot of what he did in middle/high school

-he occasionally refers to ant as “my antfrost” which is very sweet

-is very aware of the velvet-egg dsmp theory. He’s encouraged it and implied it’s canon despite not being on the server

-does voices while reading fanfic

-went camping a lot as a kid (and still does)

-despite all his joking, he’s very sweet and soft about his love for ant

-he and ant have mentioned having kids in the future

-he did plenty of research to learn about celiac and ants allergies, he even has an app that lets you know if a restaurant has gluten-free options

-he has some eco-jars as well as some fish

-the pets prefer velvet over ant

-he does a scary accurate trump impression

-keeps a comb on his desk

-he is very appreciative of his community despite not really knowing why we stick around

-he actually doesn’t like red velvet cake that much

-he hates mashed potatoes

-had a dog named Calvin most of his life (rest in peace)

-he always uses chat members full usernames, no matter how often he reads our messages

-he’s an introvert

-he’s excited to marry ant one day

#velvetiscake #antfrost #fun facts #rae’s writings #velvet once asked me #raena volante how do you know so much velvet lore? #sir you’ve said all this stuff before #I don’t want to know what he would say to this

[rayrayor]

Hey Kat! @mybrainismelted

Here is Drabble challenge 34 , as asked.

“ You work for me. you are my slave “

Please note, GILF ( Ginger I’d Like to F@*k )

Ian was finally home after ten years in the military, two Purple Hearts, and a Medal of Honor. Gnarly chest scars and nightmares about the brothers he could not save. He was not ready to go into EMT work yet but needed routine.

Mandy Milkovich. Bestie and Beard since freshman year. Flew out to Walter Reed and held his hand, making sure he wanted to still live. Now a regular at his and Carl's apartment. Her brothers owned Kings of the Southside Ink and her brother Mickey, the star tattooist, temperamental shit and hot beyond the dirty, angry older brother who would flop on the couch and give him and Mandy crap.

He was also in need of an assistant and receptionist, and somehow Mandy talked Ian into the job. After two weeks, he understood why the position was open. The appointment book was a mess, their insta needed an upgrade, and the complimentary beverage and snack service reminded Ian of the psych hospital.

And then there was his direct boss, Mickey. Surly and sexy, the man had no filter and no boundaries. Hard working for a man you either wanted to strangle or suck off. It was also harder as his phone blew up each day with the requests, demands, and ramblings of the raven-haired thug.

He had just come back from his run when the phone vibrated.

Pocket Jefe: Hey, is the place you get coffee the place with the coffee I like?☹️

GILF: You drink it black; literally, anywhere I go has the coffee you like.

Pocket Jefe: That’s what I pay you for; how the fuck would I know which shop? I never go to any.

GILF: That’s because your ass was banned from like 9 by the shop because of your donut tantrums.

Pocket Jefe: What, you don’t care about donuts?”

GILF : Well, I am always a fan of a glazed hole.😜

Pocket Jefe:🖕🏻

Back at the shop, Mickey was beet red, grabbed his coffee, and fled to his station.

——————————

Ian was enjoying the quiet of Staples, which he knew would not last. His phone lit up with photo of a sleeve of gears  and lilies, Mickey.

Pocket Jefe:🎤 Whips and chains excite me.

GILF: Are you asking or telling me? 

Pocket Jefe: Keep up the Gallagher. Song. What’s the name of the song with those lyrics?

GILF : Ok, again, I cannot read your mind; I need a little more than your professing love of BDSM for me. Which FYI , I am a fan. You a power bottom by chance? Also, it’s Rhiana, S&M.

Pocket Jefe: Jeez, this assistant of mine makes my dick twitch.

Pocket Jefe: Shit, did I send you a text by accident? FYI, not about you.

GLIF: What text, Mick? 

Pocket Jefe: Don’t worry, your pretty head, sweetheart, just get back here, oh, and bring me a big ass snickers. 🍫

Ian smiled and filed the information he had just given away for a later date.

———————————— 

Ian had just settled after a long day of explaining to Iggy that if he did not write down appointments, Ian could not add them. He had ice cream, jacked off to a certain pair of blue eyes, and was about to watch Drag Race. He had just settled in when his phone almost vibrated off the coffee table.

Pocket Jefe: WTF, Gallagher! You asked Colin about ink?

Pocket Jefe: What you don’t trust me, that stings, man. ☹️

Pocket Jefe: I do much better scar coverage.

Pocket Jefe: not being nosy, but saw those when you changed into a skin-tight tee. This is a semi-professional atmosphere Army, not a rub-in tug.

GILF: I never asked you cause last time I mentioned your work, you were your usually grumpy prick self and threatened to stab me with your Taco Bell spork. You were watching me change; I used to charge guys to see that. So you think of yourself as my pimp? 

Pocket Jefe: Fuck you, is what I think. Enough of this touchy-feely bullshit. Enough chitchat; my appointment is running late. Can you go feed Carl Barks and Noodles for me? Oh, and get me some Pringles, a BBQ, and a pack of smokes. You know the code to my loft.👍

GILF: You know I am off, right?”

Pockey Jefe: You get off when I tell you to get off. You work for me. You are my slave. "C'mon, please.“

GILF: Fucking fine, you need me to peel you a grape too?  🤬

Pocket Jefe: I mean, I wouldn’t say no. Seriously, when you get there, just text me and let me know everything is fine. If you want to stay, we can maybe talk about a coverup piece or something.

GILF: Ohhhh, can we have pizza and a sleepover too?

Pocket Jefe: Your pushing it, keep talking back, and your going from slave to sex slave.

Pocket Jefe: Umm, damn autocorrect, sax slave, not sex 🎷

GILF: Whoring me out to Kenny G? 🥹Bummer.

Pocket Jefe: 🖕🏻

Ian grinned. He was about to get either fired or fucked; he hoped for the latter.

————————

Mickey was just cleaning up his station, and his focus was not on his big fat tip from this work.

Ian Gallagher.

He secretly crushed on the gangly redhead when he would hang with Mandy. He knew about Ian’s history as a medic and the almost-life-ending injury that ended his career. But he saved five that day, who, by accounts, should not have survived the firefight. Deep scars were over that broad chest and hard abs. The story made those scars beautiful. He was always flustered around Gallagher, but he thought he hid it well. 

His phone vibrated, he glanced, his mouth went dry, and the warm tingle went to his crotch. Gallagher sent a photo.

Tight Kings tee, a truly Godzilla-size cock trying to break out of blue boxer briefs. A motherfucking collar. And on a silver platter no less, a small whip, a chain, grapes, and a big ass tube of strawberry lube. 

A text 

GILF: Waiting for you to tell me when I can get off; may I peel you a grape in the meantime, sir? 🫦

Mickey grabbed his keys and jogged out to his car, eager to go blow Ian’s sax. 

#gallavich fanfic #gallavich fic #ian and mickey #mickey milkovich #drabble challenge #prompt 34

[conkreetmonkey]

Why I was banned from r/curatedtumblr: a very belated explanation/apology post

Before migrating here from Reddit, I used to be a regular participant in r/tumblr as a commenter, then r/curatedtumblr when r/tumblr became unusably bloated with repost bots, and the useless mods did nothing because Reddit's leadership system is dumb and broken. Hence the name, curated tumblr; an r/tumblr replacement that was actually moderated. All of the regulars, including me, migrated there, and now r/tumblr is like 90% karma-farming bots endlessly upvoting each other, presumably so the accounts can later be sold for advertising or political astroturfing purposes. Happens all the time.

I explain this because it's important to understand that a) I was a part of the community for quite a while, and b) r/curatedtumblr was heavily moderated, so as to avoid the mistakes of its predecessor. Fine and dandy.

I was a high schooler at the time, terminally online and working a shitty fast food job to save up for the PC I'm typing this on. Thus, I'd spend the days endlessly interacting with the people on r/curatedtumblr, and the evenings working at a Taco Bell, unable to use my phone until breaktime.

One day, I forget the exact context, but the subject of r/FDS came up, which for those of you who are unaware is a hive of femcels. Named as an acronym for Female Dating Strategy, the sub was infamously sexist towards men, going on about things like "high/low value males" and how men below 6' were inhuman scum and basically doing everything incels do but with the gender roles flipped. And just like incels, everyone there was unaware the real reason The sub featured a nauseating glittery pink colour scheme a la Claire's, and everybody there talked like a popular high school girl in a Nickelodeon movie, all "yaaaaaass queen" "you go girl!" and shit like that.

So this sub comes up, and if memory serves we were shitting on it, or at least I was? Again, the context has been lost to memory, and since the sitewide search tools you used to be able to use to find multiple year old comments have all kicked the bucket, and the Reddit UI for finding old content is stupid and requires you to trudge through the entire histroy of a user chronologically until you find what you're looking for with no option to jump to the desired time period, I'm probably never going to be able to find it. I was making fun of the kind of shit they said on that sub, and I said something like "yass kween dump his low-value ass he only makes 800k a year ur worth more gurl," and then went to work.

Now, I didn't know it at the time, but as I worked, somebody saw the comment and thought I was mocking AAVE. They accused me of being a "4 Chan Nazi." Things kind of snowballed from there. Now, and this is embarassing and I've been hesitant to admit to it, but I'm here to explain and apologize, so:

when I was in high school, I did not know what AAVE meant.

I took offense to being accused of being a Nazi, and I forget what my reply was, but it was snarky towards the accuser, which made me look like a POS. Since I did not know what AAVE was, I did not refute the claim that I was making fun of it, and this made me look really, really bad to anybody who did.

I was then banned for this alleged racism. I looked up what AAVE was, realized I totally did look like a racist in that situation, but rather than fight the allegations, me, being an anxious teenager, instead eternally procrastinated on doing so, afraid of further anger directed at me.

It was a dumb choice to make, because now I'm afraid anybody on here from r/curatedtumblr who remembers those days might still think of me as "that guy who turned racist out of nowhere and then ran off." It's been eating at me for years, so I've decided it's time to rip the bandaid off and finally clear the air. I should have done this a very long time ago.

tl;dr, I made a string of bad decisions that made me look like a racist piece of shit. I could have easily undid this by immediately explaining the situation, but being an anxious, then-internet-inexperienced kid at the time, the sudden social rejection scared me, and I hid from the problem.

I'm sorry. It was a bad move. I never intended to mock AAVE, nor appear as if I was doing so. It's a valid English dialect, it's culturally important, and I respect it and those who speak in it. I apologize to anybody I may have offended by accidentally appearing to imply otherwise.

I hope anybody from those days who still remembers me can find it in their hearts to forgive me. Or they can choose not to, as is their right. I'm not here to beg for forgiveness, I'm here to finally explain things and put them to rest. This is what happened, I am sorry, and I hope you also see it as a poorly-handled misunderstanding and nothing more. I just needed to finally move on from this.

#r/curatedtumblr #r/tumblr #reddit #apology post #apology #explanation post #explanation

[milk5]

this sort of thing popping up is so insane to me because it immediately asserts a bad faith assumption that i am using the words "fantasy barbarian" in the context of ""exotic uncivilized person"" and not just the conan-like stock character that's a heroic bronze/iron age warrior guy; i believe that most people, upon reading the original post, understood that i was referring to the latter.

the reason why this stock character might be accustom to eating horse meat is because it was an unremarkable thing to do across the majority of eurasia (yes, even western europe) for literally thousands of years. it became taboo in certain parts of europe from the christian idea that the consumption of horse meat had "pagan associations" and, due to this, the papacy eventually banned its consumption in the 8th century; it is also not kosher in judaism.

it is safe to assume that our fantasy barbarian stock character has not been impacted by the taboo of eating horse meat that may exist in modern south carolina, and thus, might pose the question "Does Taco Bell serve horse meat?" if he was transported to such a setting.

[pikaflute]

HAI if you have any more oddly specific headcanons u haven't shared about sam and slash or max i would love to hear them

OOOO yes :) ill do both teehee

sam

okay im gonna start with his family cause i wrote some headcanons for them yesterday. he has two sisters who are younger than him. he was really good at taking care of them when he was little because he had to take of a worse child (max) all the time. they tease their big bro about max btw. max joins in. worst fucking husband of the year. they're like 10 years younger than him. their names are sara and sadie. listen the s names are good.

his mom loves him so much. like sam's her little angel. she spoils him rotten when he comes home and max laughs about it and sam tells him to jump off a cliff.

his dad is just like him (autistic). he's a lawyer (user pikaflute always tries to squeeze in lawyers in every media like their life depends on it FUKKKK … why sam’s dad a lawyer all of da sudden) and he's the reason why sam wanted to be a detective. they watched noir films together when sam was young

back to general headcanons now: sam is a gamer. yeah, old pc point and clicks and puzzle games. and arcade games. he's probably secretly really good at newer games but he's rather just relax and take his time and solve shit.

not a morning person. at all. he will not leave the bed until like 10 am and will guzzle a pot of coffee. he just wants to stay in bed. i say let him!

likes to window shop. he will walk around new york with max and when he sees something he likes he will look into the store and will stay there until max has to pull him away.

he can bake. him mom and grandma taught him :). he has max taste his stuff and it just ends up with max eating like 10 cupcakes in like 10 minutes

has like all these figurines of things he knows nothing about. the geek asks him where he got that limited edition collectible miku and sam's like "oh she's just a cute one isn't she?" "sam they made like 100 of these how did you get her" "i found her!"

i'm giving him my greatest struggle: ibs. boys who go through tummy aches are our strongest warriors!

baseball lover. go mets!

max

i know most family headcanons for max give him siblings but. i want to be funny. he's an only child. like he is that kind of asshole (source i'm an only child)

he has two moms. yeah deal with it. lesbianism WIN.

as a kid the only person his moms would let him go play with was sam because max would actually be calm around sam and they wouldn't have to be on high alert for their kid biting someone's head off

he will make accounts to go on forums to argue with people about shit he knows nothing about and is 100% wrong on but will win the argument anyway. he truly has the heart of a poster. he's also banned from most forums and like twitter and facebook

i think he has a bunch of different things he picked up as a hobby. knitting, wood carving, poker (obviously), video games, drawing, pottery, solving puzzles (he sucks at those and asks sam for help), and many more. he can't keep his mind focused, he's gotta do it all!

speaking of video games, he plays violent ones. he likes the blood and gore. it's funny to him. he also plays fighting games online and is extremely toxic to everyone around him. he just like me fr.

he loves spicy food. like he will guzzle spice packets into his open mouth all the time. then he'll get a stomach ache from eating like 15 spicy packets from taco bell

hates hot weather. it makes his fur all puffy and static. he also hates the heat in general, make him irritable (more than usual)

i think he stims a lot. he moves around a lot doing stuff in the games but i think one day sam gets him a fidget toy and max is like oh my god. oh my god sam i could make love to you. and sams like. play with the toy instead jackass. and max does like all the time everyday forever.

hockey lover. go devils!

#sam and max #TEEHEE I HAD FUN WITH THESE

[ghostlykeyes]

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HEARTSTEEL KAYN: HEADCANONS ♡ TW : Drug mentions/Usage ♡ TW: Food mentions ♡ No pairings/ not reader-insert

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KAYN 

Ever since joining Heartsteel, Kayn's 'Rhaast' outbursts have lessened in frequency and severity. Of course, his alter-ego makes regular appearances, but being with a group that encourages and accepts him rather than holds him back and tries to get him under control has made it so that Kayn feels less need to express his feelings in such an explosive, reckless way. Of course, he'll never admit that his newfound friends are the reason for his recent (very, VERY slight) stability.

Kayn is extremely choosy with his jewelry. He fronts like he doesn't want to wear "cheap, lame shit"—but actually, he just reacts to most metals. If he doesn't check to make sure his earrings are hypoallergenic, he ends up with a massive rash. Why the excuse? He is NOT about to admit he has sensitive skin.

Probably not a surprise, but Kayn breaks his phone CONSTANTLY. With all his reckless antics, it's rare for a new phone to last him more than a few months. The silver lining is that he at least has his emergency contacts (the Heartsteel members, of course) memorized from entering them into his contacts list so often.

Kayn also has a burner phone he uses for Rhaast.

Maybe you'd expect Kayn to have an enormous rager for his birthday, but the truth is, he doesn't actually like that many people. Instead he invites a handful of his actual friends to the shared Heartsteel apartment for a joint Halloween/birthday party. Costumes mandatory, noise complaints expected. Kayn will tell you to your face if he thinks your costume is stupid.

Kayn's got a lucky guitar pick. Somehow, he’s never lost it.

Wherever Kayn goes, property damage often follows. For Heartsteel's sake, he's cleaned up his act a tiny bit, mostly because he's scared of respects Yone, who gets pissed whenever Kayn breaks too much shit. But come on, you can't deny a man all of life's simple pleasures—you gotta let him graffiti the side of a water tower every once in awhile, or blow up the occasional car.

Notorious for social media rampages, Kayn's been banned from using the Heartsteel twitter. (The last straw was him using the account to threaten a member of his old band. Apparently, Alune didn't think "I'LL FUKKIN DOXX U LOL" an appropriate use of the official twitter account.) He's still semi-active on his personal accounts, but only in sporadic bursts.

Kayn knows how to tie a knot in a cherry stem with his tongue.

Like most rockstars, Kayn dabbles in cocaine. His drug use is pretty limited, though, mostly because he doesn't really need drugs to be high-energy and unhinged. When clips of his erratic behavior surface or Kayn goes on a twitter rampage, newer fans often speculate about Kayn being on drugs. Veteran Heartbeats know that he’s just Like That, though. 

Kayn says he doesn't have a favorite bandmate. (He does. It's Ezreal.)

A lot of the time, Kayn has to be reminded to eat. When he's busy writing songs or hanging out with the band, stopping for a bite never crosses his mind. Thankfully, Sett's on top of his meal schedule (gotta hit those macros!) so he'll remind Kayn that lunch is a Thing That Exists.

Kayn spends a ridiculous amount of time on his nails. Cuticles? Trimmed. Polish? Immaculate, and always black or burgundy. Topcoat? Applied and glass-smooth. Of course he'll deny that his nail routine is so precise because it doesn't fit his devil-may-care image, but come on. Chipped OPI and hangnails? Couldn't be him.

Kayn hates nothing more than the passenger seat. Let him drive! Yes, he knows that he's gotten two speeding tickets in the past three months. Yes, he's completely aware that K'sante got violently carsick the last time Kayn drove everyone to Taco Bell. He does not care. He will NEVER care. Driving is fun and driving recklessly is really fun.

You won't catch Kayn in a salon. He dyes and cuts his own hair in his bathroom. (How is it still so perfect?!)

Kayn is way too eager to help Aphelios pull pranks on people. Unfortunately, he can dish it out, but he can't take it. A prank on Kayn has a 50/50 chance of putting him in a sour, bitchy mood for the next hour.

Of all the band members, Kayn's the one that spends the most time alone. He doesn't have many friends outside Heartsteel. And, even though he knows his band has his back and he appreciates them, he needs frequent social breaks.

Kayn's the ultimate night owl. It's rare for him to go to bed before 4 AM. Despite this, he's always up before ten. Maybe it's Yone's rigorous recording schedule that gets him up. Maybe he's so high-energy, his body can't stand staying still for more than six hours. Maybe, though, it's just all the Monster energy drinks.

Consider it a sign that he likes you if Kayn spam-texts you. If he doesn't, he won't even bother responding. (But, if he suddenly stops texting you out of the blue? Don't worry. He probably broke his phone. Again.)

#Kayn #Sheida Kayn #league of legends #heartsteel #heartsteel kayn #heartsteel headcanons #I am so fucking sorry that riot FUCKING games is what it took to bring my inspiration back #shadow assassin form is like finish your wips but rhaast is in my ear screaming POST LEAGUE TWINKS #sorry 4 being a gamer on main #tw drugs #tw drug use #these are general HCs but if there's interest I'm super down to write more romance/ reader insert themed ones !