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spideysquake · 7 months

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“good answer” - p.p

summary: peter is scared to love as much as he does, but sometimes you have to do the thing that scares you. [i got the idea/inspiration from ‘banyan tree – interlude’ by machine gun kelly, even though that guy kinda sucks and his music is generally pretty mid]

word count: 1k words

warnings: cursing, i genuinely cannot tell if this is angst or fluff and i’m okay with that, this can be imagined as any iteration of peter bc i know everyone has their favorites

a song on the side: banyan tree – interlude by machine gun kelly

“You know, I would do pretty much anything for you.”

You were sprawled out on Peter’s dark blue comforter, your head resting against his thigh and your feet dangling off the edge of the bed. The sky was beautiful and gloomy and there was a good chance that it was going to rain – the kind of rain that makes you want to light a candle and dig out the heavy blankets from the back of your closet. It had been about twenty minutes since either of you had said anything – Peter had been almost positive you were asleep until your words broke the silence in his tiny, dusty apartment.

“What do you mean?” Everything you did was vital to Peter. Everything you loved, he wanted to love. Everything you craved, he wanted to give you. Everything you thought and felt and said, he wanted to know and hear and understand. The day would never come when he felt he was too close to you or knew you too well. To know you was to love you, and he was content to spend the rest of his life doing both.

“I mean it. I would do just about anything for you,” you hummed, though you refused to make direct eye contact with your boyfriend. Instead, you traced your fingertip over the set of initials you had inked in Sharpie over the hollow point of his wrist, where the soft skin met the jutting tendon – your initials on his wrist, and his on yours. “Anything you want me to do, I’ll do. Anything you want from me, it’s yours. I’m yours.”

It was the most romantic and terrifying thing Peter had ever heard. If he was just another broke, anxious twenty-something college student, your words would be the greatest thing he’s ever heard. But he’s Spider-Man. And being Spider-Man means constantly putting the people he loves in harm’s way. As long as he had these powers, as long as he used his abilities, you were never really safe. Peter hated that he was putting you in danger, but he couldn’t let you go. He had lost too much. For once in his life, he wanted to be selfish. And he wanted you more than anything.

“I don’t want that, though.” Peter felt like his body was on fire. Whether it was from love or fear, he wasn’t sure. Was there really much of a difference? “I want you to be you. To be free. Don’t just do things for me.” His desperation was clawing at the inside of his chest like he was holding it captive. He was damn sure going to try.

“No, I know.” You were sitting up now. “But that’s what I mean. Like, doing things for you isn’t just doing things for you, you know? It’s also doing things for me. They aren’t really different anymore. Making you happy makes me happy.” You threaded your hand through his overgrown curls, your thumb smoothing back and forth over his freckled cheek. His ears were hidden under small tufts of untamed locks, but he could still feel the tips of them heating up as you gazed lovingly as him. Suddenly, he was overcome by his need to be holding you, to hold your head to his heart and to feel the comfort that came with knowing that you were real, and you were with him, and you weren’t going anywhere.

“What makes me happy is knowing that you’re safe, that you’re on the other side of the phone, waiting to pick up when I call you. What makes me happy is knowing that you are going to live a long and happy and fulfilling life, and that you get to wake up every morning and know that you are loved.” Peter buried his chin into your hair, which he noticed smelled like his minty conditioner. There was a weight behind his eyes, but he refused to cry when the conversation began with an admission of your love. “Even if that means it isn’t with me.”

“Baby, that’s not… That stuff only matters if it’s with you. I don’t want any of that otherwise. I only want a long and happy life if I’m waking up to you every morning. Without you, it’s not a happy life. I’m happy with you.”

Peter was scared. If he’d learned anything in this life, it was that bad things happened to people who loved Peter Parker. He couldn’t be your downfall.

“But Spider-Man… What if you — What if I do something? What if someone bad finds me, or finds out who you are to me? What if I’m the reason you —”

You wiped at Peter’s tear-stained cheeks with your fleecy sleeves, and you pressed your forehead to his – so close that you could the smell the peppermint tea he’d been drinking when you first laid down together.

“Pete, baby… We can’t control any of that shit. Yeah, bad shit is going to happen. And yeah, maybe some of it will happen because you’re Spider-Man. But even if you weren’t, bad things would happen. That’s life, honey. But we can’t run away from the good things because they could end one day. I would rather die knowing that we loved each other as much and as hard as possible than live forever wondering if there was ever something I didn’t say, or a kiss I didn’t give you. If I die knowing exactly what it felt like to love and be loved by Peter Parker, then I did it right.” You pressed your lips to Peter’s forehead, and he wondered what he could’ve possibly done to earn you.

All he could think was that he would spend the rest of his life earning this moment: your hand in his hair, your scent in his sheets, your warm breath against his cheeks, and your heartbeat lined up right next to his in your chests.

His throat felt thick and his voice felt heavy, but he couldn’t let such wonderful words go unanswered.

“And just when did you get so wise about matters of the heart?” Your noses brush and it’s the most glorious millisecond of his life.

“It comes with the territory of being so hopelessly in love with the best guy I’ve ever known.” You beam up at him like you hold the secrets to the universe under your tongue, and it’s all he can do not to go searching for them.

What a wonderful answer.

#peter parker #peter parker fluff #peter parker angst #peter parker x reader #peter parker x reader fluff #peter parker x reader angst #peter parker imagine #peter parker fanfic #peter parker x you #peter parker fanfiction #tasm peter parker x reader #tasm peter parker #spiderman x reader #spiderman x you #spiderman #spiderman fluff #spiderman angst #daisy writes #spideysquake

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iishmael · 1 day

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hello i need to know if the fav tag under steinbeck’s grapes of wrath is real or sarcasm

hi dear, it's real! im assuming that ur asking this bc you think im insane (which, fair) so i think i should let you know that my favourite book ever is moby dick (hence my url) hehe. Knowing tumblr, you may be concerned about my ability to be critical about the period-typical racism, misogyny, etc prevalent in works considered to be 'classics' of western literature, but i can assure you that i have a univesity degree in literature, lol.

Now that that's out of the way, you have become my captive audience for a ramble about why exactly I love grapes of wrath!!!

To make it easy on Steinbeck, I absolutely fucking love social realism. I think it's the most fascinating genre globally and across time periods, with international works such as "Leaves of the Banyan Tree" by Albert Wendt or "The Buddenbrooks" by Thomas Mann totally living up to the same fascinating standard. Naturally, Steinbeck portrays a quintessential part of American history and the American lived experience: I had never even heard of the dust bowl before picking up this book, nor did I know what a "gopher" was (apparently a burrowing mammal - I'm from Europe lol!). But man - I LOVE well-placed use of local dialect in literature, and Steinbeck MASTERED this. I loved how the story alternated with literary interludes, it was so well-balanced! I loved the characters, Tom Joad is morally conflicted and driven, my favourite kind of protagonist. But Ma Joad took the spot of being my favourite character, her strength and determination and how Steinbeck juxtaposes it with moments of weakness had me hollering.

Steinbeck's portrayal of personal tragedies and resulting (forced) growth but with the backdrop of discussing a frankly unbelievably cruel social phenomenon was excellent. I learnt so much about why America is the way it is from this book, and I mean this unironically - this is a hugely traumatic experience for what seems like a LOT of people. Anyway, I'm really looking forward to reading East of Eden!

#john steinbeck #grapes of wrath #american literature #sam reads

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jaxsosky · 1 year

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lexzepp · 2 years

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#Spotify

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colsons-baker · 3 years

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“I looked into his eyes [and] I felt the most pristine, most gentle, most pure spirit. My heart shattered immediately and I just knew that I was fucked.” - Megan Fox

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risathekid · 3 years

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I was thinking: ‘This is just too short, I would love it to be a full lenght track.’ And then I got the idea, that I can make it happen myself. And here we are! What do you think about this? 🤍

By @risathekid • Follow my blog to see how the adventure continues!

Would you like to hear more music like this? Here is a little surprise for you. I am currently working on my own album. Find more about that here! ⤵