Not my fault no one asked
I play a level 4 monk (long death)/ 3 barbarian (wild magic) named Theo who is pretty much your stereotypical surfer dude. Had anyone in the party ever asked him any questions he'd answer in a very chill and laid back way. No one ever did much to the DM and my amusement. Which means since Theo has never raged before everyone thinks he's a level 7 monk. I have not done anything to correct this assumption.
DM: So Theo fails the strength check and is shoved over the cliff. That's 60feet down, so 6d6's.
Me: Bummer dude. Gonna use my slow fall to cut out 20 of that damage.
DM: OK, so that's then two damage. You also find some creatures down here that look ready to attack.
Me: Cause I'm also super petty and Theo is probably not very happy about the shove is gonna rage.
Wizard: I'm sorry you're what now?
DM: From the bottom of the cliff you hear a blood curling scream. What'd you roll?
Me: A 1.
DM: Alright I'll roll the creatures constitution-- and they all failed. That's a d12 for them, take your temp hp.
Wizard: WAIT CAN WE SHOVE GUYS TO THEO?
Fighter, Rogue, and Druid: Oh that's a good idea.
*After the fight*
Druid: So Theo is still down there?
Druid: I'm going to yell down. Since when were you so angry?
Me: Why'd you think I got kicked out of the monastery dude? Someone would say something and I'd lose my shit.
Fighter: We're learning so much about Theo today.
I really want to revive my character Marta, who was a barbarian warrior—but she was lawful good, and I want to bring her back as more of a neutral character, because oh my gOD I feel like she would be hilarious 😂
Marta is strong, not smart; Marta also talk in third person. Marta have -1 Charisma. Marta have thing for short men 😏
"Of course there are things I know I should know, but what's scarier are all the things I don't know I've forgotten."
Rieldan, my silver drakyn wild magic barbarian for Hoard of the Dragon Queen
I was working out a thing for my Overwatch kids playing pathfinder/D&D (with Dva as GM) and Jetty informed me Mercy plays a stupid barbarian and I've never been able to see it any other way since.
A smart, overworked, generally mild-mannered woman going absolutely apeshit with violence, idiocy, and rage in her weekly grown up make believe sessions is something that can actually be so personal
Jsyk I would die for ba'sura
thank you anon 😭😭😭I would die for her as well (but she’s so strong, and has cure wounds, so she wouldn’t let it happen) here’s a little thing I’ve been working on to show my girl’s growth.
8 Levels Totem Barbarian - 3 Levels Swords Bard
it’s been really fun playing her for almost two years and having her grow from having been a stupidly rich overprotected heiress, to a feral “12” year old barbarian, to her best 62 year old bard-barian self.
(she was a raccoon for 50 years- and looks about 30 now... long story short: halflings and magic are both weird and don’t steal from witches in the woods)
Been re-imagining some of my OCs as dnd characters for funsies, so have a druid/barbarian Spot~
So I figure that if dnd isnt still around (tho I assume it would be), I figure that Butch woulf eventually, probably on accident, get a bunch of other people in the gang into it
But then it would be amusing if Hector was visiting the compound during a dnd night, and someone managed to convince him likely with help from Butch to give it a try with them, and spends the entire time angrily trying to logic his way through everything
"You can't just shoot fireballs out of your hands, it doesn't make sense!!"
It's magic, Hector, and this is a game. It doesn't have to make sense.
"But--" ............ >:(
I think it's safe to say he's not a huge fan of the complete fantasy style campaigns. At least not until Butch convinces him that it's just really really really advanced science that they can't possibly understand yet, and he can't really argue with that, no matter how much he wants to
I am haunted by who my pillars of eternity oc should be
An Actual Post
Instead of just shitposting/reblogging let me make an actual post about something I love.
The 1982 Conan the Barbarian movie staring Arnold Schwarzenegger, but more importantly its absolutely amazing soundtrack!
While the movie is still in my opinion a fantastic watch with some issues here and there, The soundtrack is one of the best ever in cinema and definitely a top soundtrack for the fantasy genre.
People joke about how TRON Legacy was a music video for Daft Punk’s banger soundtrack, well I don’t feel entirely the same about Conan the Barbarian but I do feel somewhat close.
The absolute standout tracks for me are: Riders of Doom, Kitchen/The Orgy (great title), and the Battle of the Mounds. Not the most unique picks I’m sure but still my fav songs to listen to just about anytime.
2 Barbarian Bros
I know I'm really late, but when I first saw Simon's trailer for Smash Bros, I thought that it was like He-man and Skeletor got into Smash. I could not be the only one who was reminded of He-Man. I mean come on, huge muscular blonde barbarian, skeleton enemy, and castle of super natural power. Since I love both these characters, they now need to team up to take down Skeletor and Death.
If you want to go deeper in the comparisons between the two, He-man has an enemy called Snakeface who can turn enemies to stone by looking at them.
He-man is modeled after his 2002 cartoon series. (Amazing)
I like this one a lot, but I'm wondering if I ruined it by shading the cliffs. I didn't want them plain though.
"Fuck you I can do magic too. I cast rage."
-Me the barbarian, and the only non-magic caster in the entire party. (Warlock, Wizard, and Druid)
*Ridley and Samus have just finished one of their legendary bouts, and Ridley is clearly outclassed*
Ridley: He, he. Oh Samus, you wouldn’t kill me? I’m as good as your father.
*Samus glares from beneath her helmet, but hesitates with the final blow. Ridley takes the opportunity and stands up*
Ridley, slowly walking towards her: My actions have shaped every step of your journey. Face it Samus, I created you are. Everything about you, your strength, your resolve, and most especially your hate, came from me. You won’t kill me. You NEED me.
*he is directly before Samus now*
Samus: You’re wrong.
Ridely: Excuse me?
Samus: I’m not who I am because of you Ridley. *punches Ridley so hard he flies through the air* I’m who I am in spite of you. Yeah you gave me hate. But my strength? My resolve? That’s me. You tried to break me Ridley, more times than I can count. But you failed. Every time. I’m me, Ridley. I’m Samus motherfucking Aran, and I made myself.
Ridley, lying on the ground in pain: And what is the mighty Samus Aran without her dragon to slay!? Eh? WHAT ARE YOU WITHOUT ME?!
Samus, pointing her Zero-Canon at Ridley: Let’s find out.
*Samus blasts Ridley into oblivion*
i think about rich people for all of a fraction of a second and i go into a rage
time for me to also cry with you about how ellis has butchered the canon and removed basically all the emotional gravity of one of the most important instances in the whole story THANKS I HATE IT we all gonna unite when season 3 airs to drag it through the dust or what
we’re gonna tear a bitch a new asshole
BARBARIBOLD for @askbrisky !
I’ve made a shocking revelation
Players of DnD as Majors
DMs: Psychology Majors
Magic Users (i.e. Wizards, and Mages): Physics Majors
Paladin: Religious Studies Majors
Rogue: Economics Majors
Assassin: Political Science Majors
Bard: Music Majors
Barbarian: Kinesiology Majors
Ranger: Environmental Majors
Druid: Forensics Majors
Cleric: Medicine Majors with a minor in divinity