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nihilizzzm · 9 months

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lotr/the hobbit incorrect quotes

part 3, i do not intend to stop

*three hunters at night*

Legolas: i love you Gimli

Gimli: yeah, i love you too

*silence*

Legolas: we both love you as well, Estel

Aragorn: thanks, i was starting to feel left out

— — — —

Bard: you know, i wish you would just admit that you made a mistake

Thranduil, stirring his coffee with passion: i PREFERE it with salt

— — — —

Pippin, excited: hey Boromir, we made you a friendship bracelet!

Merry, also excited: *showing boromir a very ugly, yet made with love bracelet*

Boromir: Yeah, you know… i’m not really jewellery person…

Pippin: oh… it’s okay…

Merry: it’s fine, you don’t have to wear it…

Boromir: No. I’m gonna wear it forever, back off.

— — — —

Legolas: whoops-

Aragorn: whoops? WHOOPS? We are far past the ‘whoops’ situation! ‘Whoops’ is but a distant speck in the review mirror! We are firmly in the ‘oh fuck’ territory and i expect you to ACT LIKE IT!!

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lescarnetsdehaku · 2 months

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🌞

#artists on tumblr #dnd #dnd bard #dnd satyr #illustration #digital art #art on tumblr #original art #hakunette ocs #tyresias #i just love my son ok #my art

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everyones-least-favorite-bard · 6 months

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isaac

#ive been sitting on this one for ages #something something jason and bruce isaac and abraham parallels #something something sacrificing your son in service of a god #glad to see fucked up biblical parallels are not apparently exclusive to orv for me #jason todd #dc robin #dc #dc comics #dc fanart #batman #bards dc thoughts #bard draws

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meteors-lotr · 7 months

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Imma keep going with the headcanons

Humans are absolutely fucking repulsive dude

And I don’t mean like, actually repulsive because they’re still just Viggo Mortensen and Sean Bean and stuff, but like to other races humans are as ugly as they come

While liking other species is a bit of a niche thing, it does occur and there are large sections of hobbits, dwarves, and elves that find the other two hot af

But no one fucking likes how humans look

Which is why it’s such a surprise when Thranduil, an absolute beast of an elf, fell in love with and married Bard. And then the pattern continued with Legolas and Aragorn.

Most people are just wondering what the fuck kinda stuff the Mirkwood royalty is on

#Interspecies relationships with humans is incredibly rare #Also since humans sorta just breed with each other #They tend to find the other species kinda ugly as well #lotr #lord of the rings #the hobbit #lotr headcanons #the hobbit headcanons #species headcanons #Human headcanons #legolas greenleaf #aragorn son of arathorn #Thranduil #Bard the Bowman #Aralas #Barduil

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asphy7 · 1 year

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I got my arcane eye on you ✨🔮🪬

#myart #dnd #dungeons and dragons #tiefling #Malik djinn #bard #my booba son

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bunnidarling · 4 months

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Averyll | Half-Elf | Bard-Druid | He/Him | 40

What is your Tav’s…

favorite weapon: His singing sword, Phalar Aluve

style of combat: Supportive - healing spells and buffs

most prized possession: Viola and his commitment ring

deepest desire: Extending the lives of those he loves most and helping find a way for Astarion to bask in the sun once more.

guilty pleasure: Horrifically bad erotica novels, and reading them out loud to his friends

best-kept secret: He’s shy and while he doesn’t hide anything about his personal life, he’s not open about it either, apart from with the closest of friends/lovers.

greatest strength: His kindness and his large heart

fatal flaw: Impulsive without much thought of possible consequences

favorite smell: His lover’s skin and their hair, His mom’s cinnamon buns baking

favorite spell or cantrip: Dissonant Whispers

pet peeve: Rudeness

bad habit: Lip biting

hidden talent: With the right makeup and clothing, he makes a beautiful woman

leisure activity: writing in his journal, writing stories, sketching

favorite drink: Mermaid Whiskey

comfort food: Any sweet baked goods

favorite person(s): Astarion, Halsin, Claude and a high elf named Raileigh

favored display of affection (platonic and/or romantic): Kissing

fondest childhood memory: Learning to sing and play instruments with his mom and her bandmates.

Art by Annteya

I stole this from @vixstarria

Lets see: @tallymonster @bhaalbaaby @kringle-c @tragedybunny @brabblesblog @just-a-refrigerator

His adventure starts here: Peridots and Rubies

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #meet my tav #tav #bg3 tav #my beautiful slutty son #averyll springheart #Averyll #bard tav #baldurs gate tav

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crazymaryrocks · 1 year

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Aralas and Barduil are the exact same ship in a different font and no one can change my mind

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witchthewriter · 1 year

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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐕𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐇𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐚/𝐕𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚

Men who show fatherly, caring and protective traits. They don’t like straying far from home, or they can make anywhere feel like home for their family. The backbone of their group/family/team. They give good advice and make others feel safe.

𝐻𝑎𝑟𝑤𝑖𝑛 𝑆𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑔

𝐸𝑑𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑆𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑘

𝐶𝑎𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑙𝑒 𝐶𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛

𝑅𝑒𝑚𝑢𝑠 𝐿𝑢𝑝𝑖𝑛

𝐽𝑖𝑚 𝐻𝑜𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑟

𝑆𝑖𝑟 𝑃𝑒𝑟𝑐𝑖𝑣𝑎𝑙

𝐵𝑎𝑟𝑑

𝐴𝑙𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑃𝑒𝑛𝑛𝑦𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑡ℎ

𝑆𝑡𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝐺𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑡

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littleblueberryartist · 1 year

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Dhgfggg I literally slapped the design together just for this joke so it’s messy as hell but this was too funny not to draw out😂😂😂

#genshin impact #venti #dvalin #aqua's doodles #I actually wanted to design a human dvalin that was on the younger side #something something big dragon but still venti's little boy #also the mental image of a child going to pick venti up from the tavern #and everyone collectively spit taking at the fact that the youthful bard has a son???#hilarious #venti pointing at a tall ass buff ass dvalin and going son! :D is also hilarious tho #*in the deepest voice you've ever heard* You are my dad~ You're my dad! Boogie woogie woogie

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sunflowerdales · 9 months

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Very early days of Ezra being adopted as Kahlia's ward, she began teaching them all kinds of subjects to get them caught up with their age group and to get them into formal education. Due to how receptive they were to learning, however, she didn't realise how much of the basics they needed to learn.

They could read and write very simple things, but the place they grew up had very limited education at best, and Ezra practically never showed up because they hated it.

Once in a safer and more nurturing environment where they could think more clearly and not be in survival mode constantly, they found a passion for learning and became particularly interested in history and and the arts.

#ezra stormcrow #kahlia stormcrow #dnd #dnd oc #tiefling #bard #sorcerer #my art #Kahlia was legally Ezra's mother but never forced the parent thing on them and more so just their guardian #she saw Ezra as a son but because Ezra was a 16 year old orphan with zero concept of family dynamics she was v much ' keep this child safe'#Ezra loved her as a mother long before they understood that they saw her as their mother #they've only been calling her their mother for less than a year

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jahiera · 8 months

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thinking of a new tav who's an archfey warlock perhaps... she made a pact with [patron pending] to help her kill her last two husbands so she could keep their money. she's a noblewoman from the upper city of baldur's gate. definitely knew cazador from society parties & when astarion drops his lore unfortunately her first reaction is "oh he had such nice finger sandwiches at his parties. can we find out where he got those before we kill him." "well he probably ate the chef after so. no." "hm. sad. ah well!" because she sucks so much. she's going to romance Wyll perhaps (?) and MAYBE he can fix her. maybe. likely not but Perhaps.

#pers ⚔️#I miss Nelka too.. she was my og Wyll Concept (deep gnome bard with Wyll is just. it's just CUTE.)#but Nelka might be funnier with Gale actually.... she also sucks so much but in a much different way.....#bard4hero is a classic but I wonder if it's too easy. warlock4warlock has fun implications for wyll's later story arc #a girlie who's selfish and capricious and a bit foppish learning that Love Is Real; Actually.#thought she could social ladder climb perhaps when she finds out that he's Duke Ravengard's son and then. boom. SURPRISE.#you're actually in love. woe learning to love be upon ye.#all I know is she full throttle slams BREAK YOUR PACT with Mizora because by that point she wants him to be free so badly she'll kill #ANOTHER cambion for him. she does NOT care. and then they still save his dad.#going above & beyond for your Hero Boyfriend who likes saving people so much when you just wanted to #con people out of their money. tch.#i love how i started this out going 'maybe?' and then convinced myself in the tags. WYLL ROMANCE LETS GO.#bg3 spoilers

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meadowsofmay · 11 months

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today my emoticonal coping mechanism stumbled me upon thinking about middle earth's father figures, found fathers and real fathers. me, who have always wanted my father back to my family which was not possible due to my parents splitting and who could only see him at weekends because of work and school, is thinking about elrond and thranduil and bard and thorin and theoden and even aragorn and boromir who clearly became father/uncle figures for hobbits. i am thinking about them.

about elrond who went through so much and yet, he raised elladan and elrohir into great and proud, stong elves, who cared for estel even though he was his adopted son and was ready to sacrifice alot for his only daughter. he just wanted a happy family, he wanted to protect them all under the roof of the last homely house but wasn't able as they all picked their own fates.

about thranduil who really wanted to protect his son after losing every other dear to his heart in the battle. but he got so overwhelmed with the grief that he almost lost legolas in the worst way possible — he lost the trust his son had in him as in his parent.

i am thinking about bard who raised his daughters and a son alone in the cold, damp town, carrying a burden of a failed hero in the heart and people's hero on the face. but all he ever wanted is to keep his children in his arms safe and sound.

and about thorin who became fili and kili's big, strong, role model father-figure that they looked up to and followed almost blindly because they believed in what thorin believed. they wanted to stand on the same ground thorin stood. they wanted to be by his side when thorin achieved what he set his mind to because thorin raised them well. he raised them as warriors and good, proud dwarves. even in the exile they should have known that they are powerful and thorin did his best to implant that.

about theoden too — who lost his son but still kept love for his nephew and niece. he fostered them under his wing, trusted them unconditionally and these kids loved him to the ends of the earth. he was ready to give eowyn the throne — she was ready to sacrifice herself to protect him in battle. they were one of the biggest joys to his heart. they loved him.

boromir got to experience what it is like to be a father he and his younger brother never had — he watched for years as his father was picking favourites and being dishearteningly rude towards the one he loved the most in this world. boromir saw these young, small, unprepared for war hobbits and wanted to give them at least a piece of good memory from the trip that was about to become terrible and fateful.

and aragorn. sweet, soft-spoken, kind aragorn who was raised by elves and had a heart of a human. he was such a protective, caring character — the way he treated frodo like he is his son that aragorn wanted to save from the burden, — i was convinced from the moment he started talking he is going to be an amazing father one day. i fucking trusted him.

i am thinking about them tonight. it's not a good night but these thoughts help to get through.

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sparkliest-bard-bracket · 10 months

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✨Round 2: Match 7✨

Kvothe Propaganda:

Actually you know what, I’m taking this out of the tags. Why is Kvothe the superior bard? Let’s discuss.

Tragic backstory of tragic backstories. Without spoilers, he has Trauma ™ about his lute being broken.

Raised traveling performers, and regularly uses public speaking and performance skills to his advantage.

Got the fantasy equivalent of a Grammy at 15, even though his lute string snapped mid performance.

Fucked a fae who fucks men to death and lived, because she loved his music and wanted him to write songs about her beauty.

Once got hired by a king to seduce a lady through love songs. He succeeds.

Is simultaneously brilliantly clever and utterly dumb of ass. A child prodigy wise beyond his years and deadlier than a falling brick, but also can’t talk about his feelings to save his life and will jump off a roof if you ask him nicely.

In conclusion, vote Kvothe.

Raz'ul, Son of Daz'ul Propaganda:

He’s a fantastic musician, a deeply caring person, excelling in college and possibly the most dramatic bard in any room

Raz’ul is the youngest son of the Oodali clan. He decided to go out and travel the world in order to help his family and his kingdom via blacksmithing. Before he left home, he did borrow the family treasure called Axesumptin (ask you something). After that, he attends Strumlotts, school of Barding where he meets his best friends, Yashee Bordun and Randy Greentrees. Together, they travel across the continent telling tales and causing chaos as their band name Chaos Sauce implies. Raz’ul is a college of glamour bad and circle of the moon druid so his aesthetic leans more towards nature with a lot of floral flare. He’s also very in tune with his emotions and is an asexual icon!

Propaganda and more sparkly pictures :D

#sparkliest bard bracket #round 2 #polls #kvothe #the kingkiller chronicle #kingkiller chronicle #raz'ul son of daz'ul #bombarded

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meteors-lotr · 29 days

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Barduil fam movieset AU

Retired broadway star!Bard X Disgraced former diva!Thranduil, with their children Legolas the makeup artist, Sigrid the score composer, Bain the stunt man and Tilda the pyrotechnician

Additionally Gimli working in the prop department, Aragorn in costumes, Boromir as a fight choreographer, and the hobbits as interns

Éowyn and Éomer as animal handlers, Faramir as on set medic, Gandalf as a senior actor, and I can just keep going

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mxliv-oftheendless · 15 days

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“Since Thranduil met Bard’s children, Bard decided it was only fair that he meet Thranduil’s son Legolas, too. After all, he was never able to properly get to know him amidst all the chaos. A simple meeting in which he got to know Legolas was all Bard had expected. What could possibly happen?

He ended up being VERY unprepared for how awkward the meeting would actually be.”

For Barduil Month 2024, hosted by @bi-widower-dads ! For Week 2: Getting Together.

#the hobbit #barduil #barduil month 2024 #barduil month #bard the bowman #legolas #family bonding #meeting the family #tmw you meet your boyfriend’s estranged son and all their baggage lol #it’s awkwardddd #also please tell me if I’m getting everyone’s character wrong #like I’m really trying but I’m scared I’m getting them wrong #the hobbit fanfiction #fanfiction #my writing

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herrscherofsentence · 1 year

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Raine Whispers and male/adopted son reader

〜☆

Summary; You were just a regular bard whose magic came at a young age. Your parents ended up passing away while you were attending Hexside, but since you were on your own you couldn’t keep up your studies at the Bard Cash Course. You’d come late everyday and get terrible grades, constantly fall asleep in classes. So You were forced to drop out as you needed to fund yourself but that was until Raine found you.

〜♪

Author’s Note ; The pronouns that have been used for Reader is you/your and he/him ! as usual instead of y/n being used it was [Name] :p This is just a little platonic Raine comfort bc I love them, enjoy ! <3

—————————

It was so overwhelming for you, having to fend for yourself after your parents unfortunately passed away. You were doing so well at Hexside but couldn’t keep up your studies anymore so you had to tell Principal Bump that you had to drop out, now all you had to do was to do street music so you can keep a roof over your head. It was until you started getting in trouble for playing street music and as you got slightly older, you needed to join a coven. You didn’t feel as if you deserved to join a coven since you weren’t very powerful, but even though you needed to join one, you ended up not joining one since the money to keep your parents home was still needed. So for a long time to get money, you were on the run, doing illegal performances..since you didn’t have a permit.

At least [Name] isn’t as wanted as the so-called ‘Owl Lady!’ yet..All he wanted to do was peacefully play songs. [Name] tried his best not to release the magic of the bard but sometimes he just couldn’t keep it in and stuff and people started to move! It was only a matter of time before you were kicked out of your parent’s home. So here he was, a hungry child with no hope left for the world, he barely knew his family there was barely any time before his parents passed on. [Name] hurried through Bonesborough as he was being chased down by some guards. Currently [Name] isn’t as strong anymore from being scarce on his food supply. However, he'll makedo lost time, trying to pickpocket and steal..! Finally [Name] lost the guards eventually.., before he started to hear a peaceful tune coming from the city and some witches without covens were running free from the guards trying to force the witches into the covens. He got out his violin to help with the distraction but by the time he finally got out of hiding the guards were already gone. The person [Name] stared directly at him, fear overcame him once more so he was prepared to fight before [Name] knew it, he was being dragged away but it wasn’t by a guard it was by the person he was about to fight.

The two finally stopped [Name], scared, started kicking to get away but hear, “Hey Calm down..,you're safe here.” the voice said. The Voice was calming, had its own shade of nervousness, it somehow calmed [Name] nerves down. He stopped kicking and was put down, “Mind telling me your name? And where is your place of residence?” the person said, are they trying to sound professional? Should [Name] say he’s still living with someone or at least somewhere..? no it would be too obvious he isn’t living anywhere, might as well tell the truth.. “It’s..[Name], and,..I don’t live anywhere right now.” You sighed, admitting the truth no all of a sudden, you looked sad. “Hey it’s okay,” they said while looking at you. “The name’s Raine Whispers.” They introduced themselves as their calming-sounding voice was soothing to you, “You can stay with me for awhile, if you would like.” Raine offered before all the emotions just broke free from [Name] as he hugged them. “I’d assume that's a..yes?” They joked but still sounded slightly nervous.

You grew closer to Raine overtime, actually having a home to go and come to. You also had more friends or just friends to hang out with when Raine had to do their coven duties as head witch. BATT was honestly fun to hand around but times could come when the members of it would get on [Name]’s nerves. Raine felt honestly the same around the little bard they took in, “Hey, Little Songbird..” they addressed you with a nickname before handing over adoption papers, “Wanna make it official?” They asked [Name]. He nodded his head with a quick “yes ! :)” a smile launched on his face. “Then I guess I’m your parent now, ‘both king and queen,’ you know..’best of both worlds.’” Raine said, patting [Name]’s head, while he knew full well that Raine was quoting someone.

“C’mon ‘Little Songbird’ what do you want to do?” They teased [Name] with the nickname again.

#platonic #raine whispers #x male reader #reader insert #comfort #comfort character #raine x reader #raine whispers x reader #the owl house #the owl house x reader #bard reader #bards #adopted #adopted reader #x son reader #platonic with a capital p #more platonic #owl house #owl house x reader

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