#barold is me if i ever get married | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ma-lark-ey · 4 years

Text

Taako and Lup had very few remnants of their family. The one thing the two did have, were ragdolls they played with as kids that their mother hand-stitched just for them.

They kept those dolls close, cherished them for years. It was all they had left of their parents. It was all they would ever have of their parents.

When Lup came out, her doll quickly no longer resembled her. It was an elven boy in dark clothes with short hair, and Lup was certainly not that anymore. And, she still liked to keep him around, slept with him every night.

Barry distinctly remember the first night he had spent with Lup, she had the little ragdoll tucked on her arm, and when he fell off the bed from the shifting of sleep, she woke up nearly instantly and woke Barry up as she reached down to pick him back up and tuck him back into bed between her arms. The doll's name was Red, because Red was Lup's favorite doll, so naturally she named him after her favorite color.

Taako had the matching doll. His wasn't named as cleverly as Red, his was named Chef, because he liked the idea of something being named Chef as a little boy.

Neither twin would let anyone accept each other touch their beloved rag dolls Red and Chef. Ever.

Once, Magnus found Chef sitting on the counter and moved him just a few inches to get to something, and Taako nearly had his head over it.

Absolutely no one was allowed to touch the twins' dolls.

At least, not until cycle 96. They all hoped they were nearing the end of their journey, and Barry and Lup's anniversary was coming up.

Barry came up to the most beautiful woman he'd ever had the pleasure of loving, and of course her small sewn friend was with her as she read some book to pass time.

"Lup, darling." He began, taking a seat next to her on the couch. Naturally, she leaned into his side and looked to him. "I had an idea for something to do for our anniversary, but I'd need to borrow Red for a bit. Is- is that okay?" He could feel her go into defense mode, her arm moving to wrap around the worn down and tired old doll.

He could see the gears turning in her head, probably thinking about if she really trusted him enough to let him take her Red for a little bit.

"How- how long would you need him?" She played with his floppy hands, smiling as his head leaned on her arm. Barry knew just much she loved this piece of fabric.

"Just a couple days, it's super special. I promise I'll give him back, and he won't be harmed at all. I swear." She looked concerned for a bit, but nodded, begrudgingly handing over the doll. Lup knew she could trust Barry with him.

"If even a thread is ripped, I will kill you, Bluejeans." She threatened, and Barry knew it was no empty threat. He kissed her forehead and nodded, "I know, darling. I'll bring him back safe and sound." And he went off to find Merle.

Merle was the one member of the ship who was really good at embroidery and sewing, and he'd need both skills for his project.

He was gonna let Red have her own transition, so the doll looked like Lup again.

"Merle, hey,,I need your help with something." Barry said as he entered into the room, watching Merle look up from whatever project he was currently doing.

"Yeah? What is it,,Barry?" His beard was tangled with petals and flowers like it usually was, which Barry always wondered how he manages to do it.

Barry pulled Red out of his coat and Merle looked panicked. "You stole him off Lup? She'll murder in like- every cycle from now on, Barry! You dumbass! Go put the doll back!" He hissed.

"No, no, she's letting me borrow Red. Look, I have a plan. I- I wanted to-"

"She let you borrow him?"

"Yes, now focus Merle! I want to give Red a- a restoration. I want to make him look like Lup again."

"You wanna make the doll trans?"

"I- I guess... Yeah."

"Alright, let me see what we have."

The two worked tirelessly in revamping the old ragdoll over the next two days, but once she was done, she looked just like a fabric version of the beautiful elf woman Barry planned to marry someday. She had the same side-shaved hair that was red at the tips, the same red cloak draped around her shoulders, the same pretty eyes.

But,,Barry's favorite part was the heart embroidery. They had to redo it, of course. The original embroidery said Lup's dead name on the heart. But, they took it out and fixed it. It simply read "I love you, Lup" on a little heart shaped patch stitched over where her heart would be.

Red was ready to be returned to her owner.

Barry was so nervous to return the doll to Lup. So very nervous. He had talked to Taako extensively prior to making the changes, and Taako promised him Lup would love it. But, the fear still lingerie as he approached her where she was helping Taako finish up dinner.

"Lup? Love?" He called, watching her turn to face him.

He held Red behind his back, nervous to show her what he had done to her doll. She came up to him, "Why,,yes, Barold?" She cooed, poking his nose playfully.

"I- I did a thing for our anniversary. With Red. You know that." He laughed anxiously.

"Yes, I do indeed. What's gat got to matter, now?"

Barry bought the doll out from behind his back, handing it to her carefully. "I know that when yiu were little, Red was supposed to look just like you. So, I got some help from Merle, and we made her look like you again." And he watched Lup be at a loss of words for a moment, holding the centuries old doll in her hands. He didn't expect the tears in her eyes, and he panicked. He didn't want to say anything yet.

"B-babe, I-..." Lup took a deep breath, and grinned. That beautiful grin that had captured Barry's heart so many years ago. "She's like me..." She gave the old doll a tight hug, clutching it to her chest with so much love and affection Barry wondered if there's any left for him.

Taako came up to Lup, putting a hand on her shoulder, "Lup, check the heart." He ordered. Of course Taako knew every single detail Barry had done to doll, he nearly forced Barry to let him oversee it all.

Lup listened, unbuttoning the dolls shirt and moving the I.P.R.E read cloak to look at the heart. That was when she actually started crying. Barry didn't know what to do, he was a deer in headlights. He didn't want to make her cry!

Lup fixed Red's clothes back to where they were supposed to be, and looked up at Barry with the biggest smile.

"Its perfect, babe. I... Thank you, really. You- you don't understand how much she means to me." Barry couldn't stop himself from hugging Lup at that point. He just needed to.

#taz balance #taz #blupjeans #look I had this idea at like three am and I needed to #I love them so much guys #please

49 notes · View notes

spenceraugust · 3 years

Text

TAZNC Day 1

@taznovembercelebration

Selected prompt is italicized: Fake dating/ domesticity

See the month’s prompt list: https://bit.ly/2TUfDLC

Read it on AO3: https://bit.ly/38cjqMO

It had been two weeks. And- okay, when you really think about it, sure, that's not that long. Just enough to start missing someone, but not really enough to feel ready to head back to school.

Holiday break was over, and that meant two things. Midterms and Taako.

Taako's family lived far away- according to the blonde, they were from a small town called New Elfington on the West Coast. He hadn't been home in years, and no matter what he said, Kravitz knew he missed his sister. She and her husband had picked up a kid since the last time Taako had been home. Their grandfather had tested positive for Alzheimer's after wandering into the woods and getting lost. His cousin had opened a woodworking shop and got engaged.

He'd missed a lot in the five years since he'd been back, so Kravitz had been as understanding as possible when Taako broke the news.

He was understanding. That didn't mean he expected it.

"I think I'm going to go home this year," he said, using his French fry to push a chicken nugget around. The cafeteria food was garbage, and Taako hated it, and no matter how many times Kravitz said "hey, aren't you in culinary school? Maybe you should pack lunch." His companion seemed rather insistent on partaking in the distribution of culinary war crimes.

(Kravitz was pretty sure he just liked to complain.)

"Oh?" Kravitz glanced up from his salad. "I- what about our mall date next week to last minute gift shop?"

"Sorry bones," He smiled sadly, "someone else will have to help me deal with the consequences of my actions."

"I mean- good luck, I guess-" Kravitz was sputtering, so he took a sip of his water. "I just- are you going to take a cab? I can't imagine that'll be cheap."

"Lup's got bridesmaids business at Julia's, and that's only an hour and a half away. We're going to pit stop it. They figured out something, I guess- Barry will drive me home and Lup will drive me back," He finally looked up from his lunch, "so you're in charge of holding down the fort until I get back. Promise to not clean my half of the room?"

"Taako," Kravitz placed his hand gently on the back of his best friend's. "I'm absolutely going to clean your half of the room."

Taako was, objectively, a bad roommate. He listened to music loudly, never cleaned his half of the room, had a tendency to invite people over and not warn him, and always seemed to go missing when dorm inspections were supposed to happen.

Kravitz still wasn't sure when he started developing a crush on him, but it was a secret he would take to his grave. He didn't spend the past three years becoming someone Taako trusted by saying every little thing that came to mind.

He was still ecstatic for Taako to come home. They'd never been apart for more than a couple of days. Two weeks was torture, especially when it was filled with aggressive smothering from his mothers. It was good to be back.

💕 Taako 💕 Be home in five, handsome!

His phone buzzed in his hand, and Kravitz nearly dropped it. He'd been sitting in his coat on his bed for the better part of an hour, debating whether or not he should go and wait outside. Was that weird? It felt a little weird. But it was Taako, and it had been two weeks-

Fuck it. He could play it off like he was going to get a coffee. Maybe he'd even get the chance to meet the mysterious sister he'd heard about for years.

And, as his luck would have it, apparently "be home in five" meant "I'm here, but it'll take a couple minutes to take stuff out of the trunk of my brother-in-law's beat up Subaru" (which, by the way, fully lived up to Taako's description).

"Oh, Taako!" He called, trying for pleasantly surprised as he raised a hand and waved. Taako glanced up and grinned, dropping his bag into the snow and jogged over.

"Hey handsome! Long time no see!" He called over the disgruntled cries of his two companions who had been left with the labour of unpacking.

"Hey, how was it?" Kravitz asked, striding towards him. "Did you ever end up finding a gift for Uncle Dav-"

"I need you to play along," Taako said in a frantic whisper, throwing his arms around Kravitz's neck and pulling him into a tight hug.

"What?" Kravitz hugged back instinctively.

"Do you trust me?" He asked, pulling away slightly.

"I hate it when you ask me that- yes?"

"Okay, then follow my lead," and then their fingers were intertwined and Taako was dragging Kravitz through the snow. He wasn't even sure what he just signed himself up for, but Taako looked like an angel in the snow. He could have told Kravitz to take a polar dip and he would have off principle.

"Thanks for leaving me with your heaviest bags, jackass," Taako's mirror image, presumably Lup, hissed.

"I'm sure Kravitz could have walked over alone," Barry (?) added.

"He could have, but I wouldn't let him." Taako grinned. "Give us a hand, bones?"

"Ah." His twin stopped him with a hand as Kravitz reached for a suit case. "Not so fast, we haven't even been properly introduced yet. My name is Lup."

"It's great to finally meet you," he shook her hand, "Taako's told me so much about you- I was starting to wonder if he was keeping us apart on purpose."

At that, she laughed. "Oh, probably- I'm sure he's worried I'll spill all his deepest secrets. Remind me to get your phone number before we leave. I need someone I trust to keep an eye on my little brother."

Taako squawked behind him, but Kravitz just smiled a little wider. "Absolutely. I'd like that."

"I'll have you know, Krav, I'm at least four minutes older-"

"They swapped the babies up, they don't know for sure, dingus-"

"Legally, my birth certificate says I was born first-"

"I'm assuming you're Barry?" Kravitz ducked out of the twin's firing range to head over to the middle aged man wrapped tight in a red coat and blue jeans. "Kravitz."

"You'd be correct in that- I'm Lup's husband. It's good to finally meet you- Lup and I have been discussing for a while what kind of person could possibly keep Taako entertained for anything longer than a week. He talks about you lots as well." Barry shook his hand firmly.

"Good things, I hope?"

"I think that's up to you to decide, bud." He shrugged, before turning back to address the twins, "Hon, we've got a long drive ahead of us. Why don't the four of us grab lunch before we head back to Elfington?"

"Thanks for the offer, Barold, but we're actually not done fighting," Taako said, slinging an arm over his sister's shoulder.

"Well, if you leave your bag in the snow like that, all your stuff is going to get wet," Barry gestured to a suitcase that had been lost in the chaos. "Let's finish unpacking quickly- I'll pay, is that what you wanted to hear, Taako?"

"It's exactly what I wanted to hear," Taako turned to Kravitz with a wide grin. "Come on, handsome, grab a bag. I'm hungry." ~~~~~~~~~~~~

("So, you've been roommates for three years?" Lup asked, picking her nails while she and Kravitz were alone in the elevator.

"Yeah, since freshman year." Kravitz nodded. "We've found that we get on surprisingly well."

"Clearly- I shared a room with my brother for eighteen years, and it's not easy," She nodded in agreement. "You gotta really love Taako to willingly put up with that kind of bullshit twenty-four sev."

Kravitz shrugged. "I mean, don't tell him I said this, but- he's Taako. He's worth a little bullshit every now and then."

"Huh," She broke out into a wild smile. "I think I like you, bones."

"You're not half bad yourself." He grinned, holding the door out of the residence for her. "We should hurry- a hangry Taako is not a fun Taako to be around.") ~~~~~~~~~~~~

("And how long have you been- y'know?" Barry asked, looking up through the rearview mirror of his car.

"Well, we started living together three years ago, but we didn't really start hitting it off until about six months after that," Kravitz offered, looking to Taako.

"He just needed time to warm up to the 'Taako-Kondo' organization method." Taako added.

"Dumping your things on the floor is not an organization method," Kravitz elbowed him with a smile.

"It is! I have a dirty pile, I have a clean pile, I have a school work I'm going to maybe finish pile, I have a school work I'm not going to finish pile-"

"Taako," Kravitz sighed in exasperation. "When we get back to campus, I am going to buy you a planner. There is no reason to not finish your school work."

"Uh, ch'yeah there is! I don't feel like it?"

"God," Lup groaned from the front seat, "You two bicker like an old married couple. Thank god we live five hours away, Bear- can you imagine lunch dates every week?"

"Forget how Barry feels," Taako leaned forwards to shove his head into her sightline. "If I had to go on a double date with you nasties every week, I'd lose my mind.")

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So, what'd you think?" Taako asked, waving as Barry finally drove off. The sun had set, meaning that the two wouldn't be home until early morning. Taako had suggested that they stay the night in the dorms and head back in the morning, but Lup had adamantly refused. Said that Taako and Kravitz needed to catch up, and Kravitz would be lying if he said he wasn't a little relieved to have some one-on-one time with his best-friend.

"They're pretty great," Kravitz smiled. "I can see what you mean about Barry being a nerd, but I have to disagree with you calling Lup a tornado. She seems pretty cool."

"It's only the first day, handsome," Taako reminded him, linking their arms and heading towards their dorm. "She has plenty of time to prove herself as a walking disaster to you."

"I guess time will tell- she's got my number," He shrugged. "Hey, what did you mean earlier? When you told me to play along?"

"Oh," Taako dropped their linked arms as they stepped into the elevator. "Uh, about that- listen, I don't exactly know how they got to this conclusion, but Barry and Lup? Uh, they think we've been dating for a couple years. And, uh, I didn't know how to break the news? Because Lu seemed really excited? Something about you 'being the reason I haven't come home for a while', or whatever. I don't know."

Oh. Oh.

"Lup and I have been discussing for a while what kind of person could possibly keep Taako entertained for anything longer than a week."

"You gotta really love Taako to willingly put up with that kind of bullshit twenty-four sev."

"And how long have you been- y'know?"

"You two bicker like an old married couple. Thank god we live five hours away, Bear- can you imagine lunch dates every week?"

"If I had to go on a double date with you nasties every week, I'd lose my mind."

"Taako- oh my god." Kravitz gripped his roommate's sleeve.

"Did you- did you not realize?" Taako looked at him in surprise. "I thought those heart eyes were just for them. Did you really miss me that much?"

"This conversation is tabled." Kravitz flushed, shoving his still cool hands into his pockets. "Oh my god."

"No, let's talk more about how much you missed me, and why you looked like all you wanted to do was kiss me-"

"Tabled, Taako!"

"If it helps, I think you're really cute?"

Kravitz groaned. "I want to die, this is the worst night of my life."

"Well, I have an unlimited olive garden pass," Taako shrugged. "We could go make it better, if you wanted."

"Fine," Kravitz said, eyes still firmly on the elevator door in front of him and not on the blonde man that had just reached into his pocket to hold his hand. "But I'm getting a blue Hawaiian, and if you want any, you'll have to get your own."

"Babe, are you sure you'll even notice me drinking from it?" Taako teased.

Kravitz groaned again, and Taako laughed. "Kidding. Come on, let's get changed and then head out. Ch'boy's feelin' unlimited breadsticks."

#TAZNC #The Adventure Zone #fanfic #taakitz #fake dating #wintertime fic #ao3 #the_fanfic_train #long post

7 notes · View notes

mollymauk-teafleak · 4 years

Text

A Gentleman’s Guide to Dancing (chapter two)

For the ever wonderful @minky-for-short and @spiky-lesbian

Chapter One

Please leave a comment on Ao3!

-----------

“And where do you think you’re going at this time of the day, young lady?”

It was their little joke, between the two of them, one that wouldn’t get old. Taako knew fine well where his sister was going when he caught her at the door, in her nicest day dress with her hair done up in elaborate braids protected from the wind by a silken scarf that had been a gift from their aunt, with a basket hanging from one arm that was emanating a distinct, sweet sugar smell.

“None of your business,” she told him primly but with a wicked grin, one that lifted her freckled cheeks.

Taako leaned in the doorway, eyeing his sister with his best impression of a stern older brother, “Definitely not going to meet that scoundrel of a blacksmith in town?”

“I’m sure I don’t know who you’re talking about,” Lup checked her hair in the silvered hall mirror, “The only scoundrel I know is you.”

Taako had to laugh at that, rolling his eyes, “Well, give Barold my best. Tell him I hope he enjoys the cookies I spent all of yesterday making…”

His sister turned a pleading look on him, delicately moving the basket behind her back, “There were only ten left anyway! And he does really like them.”

He waved her off with a dismissive hand, “It’s fine, it’s fine. I’ll just make more. Or starve, whichever. Have fun.”

Taako expected to hear the door open and shut in quick succession, Lup as eager as ever to go do whatever she did with her gentleman caller that he definitely didn’t want to think about. But instead she lingered, eyes now on him rather than her reflection though there were enough similarities between the two.

“Taako…”

He stifled a sigh. He knew this as well, as familiar as their joke, though this was starting to grate on him more. Lup gazing at him whenever she would leave to meet Barry, guilt and a little bit of pity in her eyes. Like she was tensing the bond between them, putting strain on it and felt like she should apologise.

Taako couldn’t stand that. He couldn’t bear the fact that his sister felt she had to apologise for being happy.

It was true that for years they’d had nothing but each other, knowing each other inside and out, forming shelters for each other when nothing else made sense. But the older they both got, the more he realised Lup needed more than him. She needed someone dependable and brave, who went around fixing problems. Someone she could build something with, rather than hide in.

Lup needed Barry in a way she’d never need Taako again.

He knew that. He just didn’t like being reminded of it.

He loped forward, meeting her in the square of morning sunlight coming in through the leaded glass, reaching forward and tucking a loose strand of golden hair back into the safety of the silk.

“You never do braids as neatly as me,” he smirked, patting her cheek before stepping back, “Go have fun, Lup. Don’t you dare come back before midnight.”

Lup looked as if there was more she wanted to say but eventually sighed, a small smile that was sad and grateful all at once, carrying the weight of everything they hadn’t said, “I love you, Koko. I’ll see you later.”

“Same to you, Lulu,” Taako fixed a smile on his face that carried nothing but what it was, quite deliberately, “Love ya.”

The house did feel so much emptier when she was gone.

Taako sighed softly, suddenly not wanting to go back to his book. He had the restless, fidgety energy that he sometimes got, the prickling under his skin and the swimming in his vision. He either needed to fire off some spells as quickly as possible or he needed to cook something.

Seeing as Lup had just made off with the last of the cookies he made the other day, he chose the second.

Taako was well aware that young men of his station were supposed to never set foot in the kitchen. But he was already clinging to said station by the very edges of his fingertips and cooking funneled his restlessness into something tasty and useful so he saw little harm in indulging himself within his own home.

He’d always loved it, in fact, and illuminating the manor’s kitchen with a wave of his hand brought a rush of fondness and, just for a moment, made him five years old again. Tiny and slight with ears so big he couldn’t hold them up and a broken heart in his little chest, still expecting his mother or father to walk through the door at any moment. Sitting at Auntie’s feet because he didn’t know how to be alone but for the first time Lup didn’t want him near. Finally getting himself absorbed in what she was doing, how she turned separate ingredients into something else, something new. If he followed her hands, became fascinated by the hidden, subtle magic of it all, then he didn’t have to think about why his sister cried all the time, why she seemed to have given up on mama and papa ever coming back, why they lived here now instead of their old house.

Even years later, when he and Lup found each other again, when they learned how to function with the raw, broken edges of their family, Taako still cooked. He bought books, telling anyone who gave him strange looks that it was for his Auntie, when really he would stay up all night making notes in the margins for possible amendments and sketching out presentation ideas. It was like his magic in a lot of ways. Taking separate things and making something new, something that hadn’t existed before and now did because of his efforts.

That was all Taako wanted. Making cakes out of flour and eggs and sugar. Making illusions out of simple electrical charges in the air, the patterns and eddies he could feel with his fingertips.

Making a future for his sister out of the mess he’d been up until now.

Taako gave a soft sigh and tied back his hair into a messy bun, a bastardised version of the neat queue it was normally in. He tugged on his apron, so faded it was hard to see it had ever been blue and white striped. Already his blue mood was fading, shaking off his hands like irritating droplets of water as he gathered bowls and ingredients from the pantry.

Lup had taken the last of the cookies but he found himself gathering sugar, the scalloped tins from the very back of the cupboard and some of the wildflower honey from Merle’s bees. Madelines it was then. Sometimes his hands made decisions before his brain did.

His ears twitched when the early afternoon sun fell on them, as if feeling the warm weight of it. The window, slightly ajar, let in nothing but a fresh breeze and birdsong. He settled into familiar actions and rhythms, certain in his actions, doing everything by eye with a sense of pride. And slowly, surely, like the honey running from the spoon, Taako felt himself again.

He whistled as he worked, summoning lemons right into his hand, tossing it from one palm to the other playfully. It wasn’t until the bowl was filled with perfect butter yellow curls of zest that Taako realised he was humming the song from the dance. The song that had carried him and Kravitz in a mad dance around the entirety of Countess Raven’s manor in a fit of burned frustration, wine and mania.

The thought brought a rush of heat to Taako’s freckled cheeks and the now waxy white lemon slipped through his fingers and bounced to the tiled floor. He retrieved it as quick as he could; with their funds the way they were, he couldn’t afford to be wasting ingredients. He’d lost the song but it still played in his head, as muffled as it had been that night, a counterpoint to the winter wind and the night owls that gathered in the woods.

“Come on,” he muttered to himself in irritation, continuing the stirring with magic alone just to have something to focus on. Something that wasn’t Kravitz or the way he’d smelled of polished oak or how cool his hands had been in the few times they’d ghosted over his own as they’d danced.

That wasn’t going to get him anywhere. It had been a nice wild moment, a release of the anxiety and frustration of a boring party, but he couldn’t see it existing outside of that night, like a flower that could only grow in a certain place with just the right soil. He wasn’t expecting to see Kravitz again. Now that the cold light of day had reminded them both who they were and what they were and just what was appropriate for them to be doing.

Taako began to spoon mixture into the scalloped impressions, lined up neatly like the world’s most orderly beach. Soon each one had a thick golden puddle in the centre, speckled with bright yellow. He took a moment to feel proud of himself and admire just how neat they all looked before banging them in the ancient, cast iron oven. He and Lup would scarf them down within two hours for sure. If any survived, he’d take them to Merle and Magnus in town.

He didn’t take off his apron or loosen his hair, not quite sure if he was finished yet. He simply magicked up a cup of tea and sat on one counter to rest his ankles, enjoying the kitchen filling with the smell of lemons and honey.

And suddenly it turned bitter in his mouth as a thought struck him, like his brain had just decided he was far too content and needed to be knocked back.

This could be the last time you get to do this.

Taako’s hands tightened around the mug, magic suddenly pulsing through his fingertips and leaving a hairline crack down the side. When he finally found a wealthy heiress willing to marry him- if, the sly voice corrected- it would hardly be proper for him to haunt the kitchen any more. He’d be expected to do whatever gentlemen did with their free time, probably hunt or drink brandy or scoff at poor people. A lifetime of pretending, of wearing a mask and hoping it eventually just fused to his face so he could forget there’d ever been anything underneath.

And that was if things went well. If they didn’t, in two months they wouldn’t have a home, let alone a kitchen. Destitution or a complete loss of the very few things he liked about himself. Those were his choices.

Auntie had sickened and gone so quickly there had been no time to formalise anything, to fill in the gaps that hadn’t been filled. Neither he nor Lup were officially recorded anywhere as her heirs, given that they weren’t her children, that she’d taken them in out of the goodness of her heart after not speaking to her twin since they were the age of the two children she’d suddenly acquired.

Taako tried to remember how he’d felt this time last year. Young, free, invincible. Able to outrun or outsmart anything that would dare try and trip him up. Unaware that life was just around the corner and it would always be faster, smarter and crueller than him.

If you weren’t the way you are, it wouldn’t have happened. Of course Auntie didn’t put anything in writing, she didn’t want a fuck up like you as her heir. If you were better, if you were even halfway decent, Lup would be safe.

Taako slammed the mug down on the counter, completing the destruction his magic had already done, though he didn’t stop and look back to see. Almost frantically he threw himself at the cupboards, pulling out whatever ingredients weren’t already assembled, anything he could get his hands on. He found more bowls, more spoons, his magic reaching out and grabbing whatever his hands couldn’t. And then he was moving, following a set of instructions that came from nowhere, latching onto them desperately so he wasn’t at the mercy of the rest of his mind. He didn’t care what he was making, as long as he could add something to the world in a manic attempt to prove his own worth in some small way.

And then there was a knock at the door.

Taako cursed under his breath, trying to steady his hands and dissipate his magic and his anxiety just as he’d done before, though this time it was like oil, just clinging tighter for all his efforts. As he went down the hall he did quick mental maths, trying to juggle in his head while moving his feet. If it was the milkman,they should have just enough spare silver rattling around to pay him, if it was the butcher he would take an IOU if Taako batted his eyelashes enough…

If it was a bailiff…

Taako shook that thought out of his mind and opened the door before he could lose his nerve

“Oh hello! I was hoping you’d be in,” Kravitz stood on the doorway, framed in winter sunlight, as effortlessly neat as he had been that night.

“I...yes, I’m in,” Taako said, apparently thinking that the only thing to do when stood in a doorway with the most idiotic gaping expression was to say something equally stupid.

There was a pause while Kravitz shifted his weight and cleared his throat, though he took the fact that Taako’s brain had apparently fallen out of the back of his head with good grace.

“I...I’m sorry if it’s a bad time or I’m interrupting,” he said with an adorably coy smile, “I was just going insane stuck inside of the mistress' mansion all by myself and had to get some air and, well...I don’t know anyone else around here?”

Taako relaxed a little. Maybe the honesty and openness from the party had survived, if only for a while, like a good kind of hangover.

“Well, you know me,” he flashed a smile, “And that’s really all the interesting people who live around here anyway.”

Kravitz laughed, a pleasant, deep, laugh with just a little rumble around the edges, “May I come in?”

Taako stepped to one side and gestured down the hall, though now thinking of the many jobs that needed doing since they’d had to let the staff go, the dust gathering in the corners and the grime on some of the windows where neither he nor Lup had got around to cleaning them.

But Kravitz’s eyes passed over all of that as if it wasn’t there, hanging up his coat on the stand. He was wearing a similar colour scheme to what he’d worn at the party, all black, but this time a loose everyday shirt and waistcoat, dark trousers with a high waist. Taako wondered if the Countess made black mandatory or whether her ward was consciously trying to fit in. Or maybe he just liked black too.

“Are you working on something?” Kravitz asked delicately, apparently paying as much attention to Taako’s dress as he was to Kravitz’s.

Taako looked down at himself, only just managing to bite back a curse. He’d left his apron on without thinking, still dusted with flour and a few golden honey stains.

“Oh, um…” his mind raced for an excuse as to why he’d be dressed this way, each wilder than the last. Rehearsing a play? This was the new men’s fashion for elvenkind? The flour was actually ground bone or some equally grisly spell component?

Kravitz seemed to sniff the air a little, the scent of lemon and sugar and lavender escaping from the kitchen, “Are you baking?”

Taako swallowed, hoping he wasn’t blushing but the burning in his cheeks said otherwise, “Yeah, just...just a little…” He searched Kravitz’s expression for any disdain, confused when all he saw was a polite interest. Maybe even fascination.

“It smells divine! I’d never have thought you would be interested in something like baking but you’re clearly something of a genius.”

Now Taako was blushing for an entirely different reason, “Well...it’s kind of you to say so. I’m interested in all kinds of cooking really, not just baking. I always have, since I was small.”

Kravitz just looked outright impressed and not even in a feigned way. Taako actually didn’t think his face could hold an insincere expression.

“That’s amazing. If I were left to my own devices with no servants or cooks or anything, I’d starve before the day was through.”

Taako’s lips quirked upwards, “Well, if that ever happens, just come knock on my door. I’ll keep you going.”

Kravitz’s eyes brightened, “That’s a comforting thought.”

Taako gave a slight chuckle, tucking loose hair back behind his ears, “Why don’t you come through? I can make coffee and the madelines should be ready soon.”

And that was how Taako ended up with the heir of one of the richest and most mysterious families for miles around leaning against his kitchen counter, drinking coffee and pouting adorably when he was informed that the madelines needed to cool before they could be eaten.

“Believe me, it’s worth it,” Taako grinned, after discreetly vanishing the shards of broken mug from his outburst, “When the sugar cools and hardens around the edge and you get that snap when you bite into it...that’s magic right there.”

Kravitz seemed to accept that, eyes wandering, “And what were you making over there?” He indicated the half finished mess of Taako’s frantic baking frenzy just before the bell had rung.

Looking at it now, Taako had to suck a breath in through his teeth and admit, “I...have no idea. I was kind of...improvising?”

“Oh,” he nodded, looking like he might have sensed the hesitation under the elf’s words and was deciding to ignore it, “So...if I was going to learn to bake, just in case I’m shipwrecked on a deserted island or something of that nature and I can’t get in contact with you...what would I start with?”

Taako smirked, “Does this deserted island have a fully functioning kitchen?”

“Let’s say it does.”

Taako puzzled it over for a moment, wandering over to the shelf where all his recipe books were haphazardly piled, no attempt made to keep them neat with how frequently he pulled them down and juggled them around. Most were dog eared, either from use, being second hand or a combination of both. Some, Auntie used to say, were from generations back, hand written in crumbling scrawls.

“Do you like sweet or savoury things?” he hummed, fingers walking over some of the spines.

“Sweet,” came the almost shy reply. Taako hid a smile, it was a little unusual that someone who dressed entirely in black and lived in a mansion decorated with black feathers and even some skulls would have a sweet tooth.

“Well then, let’s try cookies. We can throw some nuts in, islands have nut trees, right? Do nuts grow on trees?”

“Some do,” Kravitz sounded like he was reciting from a textbook, like he was a schoolboy facing a tutor and eager for a gold star, “Tree nuts like hazelnuts and pistachios and pecans. All others aren’t actually nuts, they’re legumes or seeds.”

Taako lifted an eyebrow. Someone clearly didn’t go outside enough as a child. He hopped up onto his knees on the counter so he could reach far enough back and snag the ingredients.

“Right, well, tree nuts it is. And plenty of brown sugar, the good sticky stuff that goes like molasses when you bake it…”

“You’re so knowledgeable about this,” Kravitz’s voice suddenly sounded so much closer than it had before. When Taako turned, he saw that he’d moved right up beside him and was offering out a hand to help him down.

Stunned, Taako found himself blurting, “I could float down. If I wanted to.”

He immediately felt a pang of regret as a look of hurt flashed across Kravitz’s face for just a moment before smoothing out into his usual polite smile. The hand snapped back to his side, “Of course. I should have known better, I’m a magic user myself.”

Taako’s guilt crystallised into sharp edges in his chest as he recognised an obvious attempt to change the subject. But still he nodded, playing along, as if the jar in their conversation had never happened, “I can sense it. What school of magic do you study?”

Kravitz stepped back to let Taako hop down, “Ah, I haven’t studied a lot, if I’m honest. I’ve never had a magical tutor of any kind, just my...just my mistress.”

That did give Taako pause, though he covered it with busying himself at the mixing bowl. Innate magic was a rare thing, not taken from any book or school but from the user’s own blood. It had a reputation for being incredibly powerful but, as a side effect, very unstable. Unstable wasn’t exactly the word Taako would use to describe his new neighbour but he had to wonder what had come first and what had followed, out of his wardship to the countess and this newly mentioned magic.

“Lucky,” he finally said, playing it off lightly as always, “All my lessons were painfully boring.”

Kravitz gave a soft, easy laugh, though he’d clearly been watching very carefully for Taako’s reaction.

Usually Lup was the only person ever allowed in the kitchen while Taako worked and even then she risked a slap with a wooden spoon if she got in the way. But seeing as this was a lesson of sorts, Taako swallowed his usual protective bossiness and gave Kravitz odd tasks to do, carefully talking him through the steps for each one.

And each and every time, he regretted it.

“I think you were a little hasty when you said you’d starve in a day,” Taako eventually snorted in exasperation, “I don’t think you’d make it until the early afternoon.”

Kravitz, now wearing a grey suit rather than the black one he’d entered with after the sack of flour he’d dropped had ignored his aesthetic, gave him a wounded look, “I could eat stale biscuits from the pantry…”

“The second you’d touch them, dear, they’d probably spontaneously combust.”

Kravitz’s hurt pantomime cracked and he gave a bark of laughter, “Fine, I’m hopeless. But I tried and, therefore, I should still get some of the spoils.”

Taako smiled at the neat tray of seven perfectly round balls and four misshapen blobs of cookie dough. Even with operating around a one man disaster zone, they hadn’t done a bad job. Sure there was flour piling up in drifts on the floor and it had taken them two sets of mixture after Kravitz had poured buttermilk into one rather than actual milk but he had a good feeling about them.

“Sure, I’ll take pity on you.”

In the fifteen minutes they took to bake, they magically cleaned the kitchen and sat talking, drinking the last of the now lukewarm coffee and eating madeleines. Despite some careful questioning, Taako learned very little about Kravitz in that time. Just that he’d been working for the family business in the city and had a passion for music almost as precious to him as Taako’s love of cooking. Still, the conversation was as light and comforting as any he’d had with his sister or friends, in a way Taako just hadn’t thought was possible.

Almost as if the gods had known he’d needed a friend right now and had dropped one on his doorstep.

It was evening by the time Taako had Kravitz back on the doorstep with a basket full of still warm, still delicious smelling nut cookies and madeleines. He was still apologising about having to leave, saying his mistress would be expecting him back before eight.

Taako shook his head, “I told you, it’s fine. I’ll come see you next time, you can show me some of your pieces.”

Kravitz’s cheeks seemed to colour a bit, “Really? You’d be interested in that?”

“I made you cookies,” Taako leaned in the doorway and smiled crookedly, “I’m going to need something in exchange.”

They both laughed companionably at that, though there was something more serious in Kravitz’s expression afterwards.

“I had a really good time today, Taako. I’m glad I came over.”

Taako shifted, not liking the way that comment made butterflies wake up in his stomach, as nice as the words were, “Sure thing. It’s nice to have friends, right?”

Something changed in his expression then, something Taako couldn’t place in the second it was there before disappearing. A hesitation of some kind.

“Yes. It is nice to...to have friends.”

After exchanging goodnights, Taako watched Kravitz walk off into the gathering dusk, quickly becoming invisible as the sun disappeared behind the hills. He found himself nursing a small smile.

Even if it had been the last time he ever got to be himself, it had been a pretty good last time.

#taakitz #regency au #austen au #taako #kravitz #taz #the adventure zone #taz: balance #lup #barry

36 notes · View notes

alwaysxknitting · 5 years

Text

Barry’s Best Day Ever

Honey golden light glinted off Barry’s glasses where he waited by the waves, fidgeting restlessly. Beside him, Merle cleared his throat and offered the science officer a reassuring smile. Barry smiled meekly at the cleric and stilled his hopping back and forth for a brief moment before it resumed. The dwarf couldn’t help but chuckle at his friend’s nerves. “She’ll be here soon. Deep breath bud.” Barry took his glasses off and wiped them nervously.

“I know. I just can’t wait to see her and I just keep thinking… what if she changes her mind?” On his left, Magnus laughed heartily before slapping Barry on the shoulder.

“Trust me, my friend, we’ve all seen the way that girl looks at you. She isn’t going anywhere but down that aisle.” A bright crimson crept into Barry’s face and ears. Merle cleared his throat again as a local resident to their current plane began to play soft music on a stringed instrument. At the opposite end of the aisle stood first Lucretia in a pale pink dress with Taako and Lup behind her. The white-haired woman strode down the aisle and stepped to Merle’s right.

“Not too late,” Taako whispered as he looped his arm with his twins. She giggled softly and stuck out her tongue. “Okay, off we go to marry you away to Barold.” Lup stuck her tongue out again and bumped her brother’s hip with her own.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The early rays of dawn filtered through the thin curtain of Barry’s bedroom as Lup snuck in on silent slippered feet. He snored loudly and rolled onto his side as she approached the bed.

“Good morning my love,” she whispered in his ear. A sleepy smile spread across his face as Barry opened his eyes slowly. A blurry form of blonde, red, and blue looked down at him.

“What is this delightful surprise?” he asked still half asleep. Barry reached up and tried to cup Lup’s face but managed to only poke his girlfriend in her eye. She jerked back and fell to her butt on the bed. “Are you okay?” Fumbling for his glasses Barry furiously apologized. Lup was laughing softly as she rubbed her injured eye.

“I’m fine, dear. Just a little poke,” she replied, smiling shyly at him. “I have a whole special day planned for you, a perfect day.” His blue eyes went wide as he gazed back at the woman he loved more than anything in all the planes.

“It’s today? All the preparations are taken care of? What about-…” Lup put a finger to his lips.

“It is all set for today and for tomorrow. Just trust me Barold, it’s going to be epic.” He chuckled and kissed her fingertip. “Now, it’s time for breakfast.” Lup stuck her thumb and middle finger between her lips and blew a sharp short whistle. Barry jumped at the shrill blast. A moment passed before Taako entered with a tray piled high with pancakes, bacon, and fresh local fruit. “Eat up darling. We’ve got a big day ahead of us.”

After a hearty breakfast and several more blissful hours of sleep curled up around his girl, Barry woke to the gentle sound of birdsong out the window and warm late morning light filtering through the window. Lup stretched with a groan reaching high over her head before bursting into giggles as Barry began to tickle her. “Stop that, stop that I say,” she cried, futilely attempting to escape the attack. The elf was racked with another bout of giggles before he finally stopped.

“Good morning my love.” A soft kiss landed on his lips before he could say more, a smile spread across his face. “What else do you have planned for me today?” Lup sat up, her red-tipped hair hanging over one shoulder.

“First, get dressed and make sure you put your sturdy boots on.”

The sun was climbing high in the sky as Lup and Barry walked along the faint trail through the trees. All around the pair songbird and insects filled the otherwise quiet space. “Where are you taking me?” he asked, chuckling.

“It’s a surprise if I tell you then it would ruin it.” Barry wrinkled his nose playfully and smiled at her. “Besides we’re here.” They cleared the tree line and stretching out before them was a crystal clear pool at the base of a towering waterfall. Amazement danced across Barry’s face as he took in the scene. Despite the pouring waterfall, the pool at their feet was completely smooth and clear as day making it possible to see the bottom nearly 25 feet below.

“This is amazing, babe. When did you find this?”

“I was out looking for ingredients for my brother and was running from one of those weird spider cat things and may or may not have fallen headfirst into the water.” A snort escaped Barry as he struggled to contain his laughter.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh…” Lup stuck her tongue out before pulling him toward the pool’s edge. Lush greenery grew right up to the edge and large flowers in vibrant hues of purples, blues, magentas, and oranges were scattered throughout.

“Strip.”

Barry was caught off by the order from his girlfriend but didn’t hesitate long before obeying. “I would have packed some extra clothes if I had known we were coming here.”

“Well, where’s the fun in that?” Lup retorted peeling off her thin shirt. Barry bit his lip as he watched the expanse of her toned back come into view. “Like what you see my dear?” Once again his words escaped him as she continued to strip down. Lup was practically up to her chin in the water before Barry scrambled to strip off his clothes. The plump man yelped at the icy temperature of the clear water as he jumped in. Lup swam over smiling mischievously. “I suppose I should have warned you it was a bit chilly…”

“Chilly? Bullshit! It’s downright frigid.” She smirked again before disappearing under the surface and swimming away. Barry chuckled and followed after her lithe body through the water.

Several hours later the pair climbed out of the water and dropped onto a picnic blanket Lup had summoned. The sun was high overhead, its rays warming their damn skin as they began to pull food from a large wicker basket that had appeared with the blanket. All of Barry’s favorites came out of the basket. “Babe, did you make all this yourself?” Lup shook her head, water flying from her long ears and damn hair.

“Taako helped some but all the sweets are my work, all your favorites are here.”

“You’re my favorite sweet,” he replied, leaning over to steal a kiss. The returned kiss quickly turned into more, the food, obviously forgotten.

A gentle sea breeze blew into Barry’s face as he and Lup wandered through the tide pools along the beach. The late afternoon light danced across the water and glinted off his glasses. “So what else do you have planned for me today?” he asked. Lup held up a smooth, black, bivalve shell.

“Well as it happens, it is a surprise so there’s that, not to mention it is a secret.” Barry looked at her over the top of his glasses and wrinkled his nose playfully.

“Well, you’re just no fun.” Her happy laughter filled the air as he chased her along the rocks. Lup tumbled to the sand quickly followed by her boyfriend. As they rested she pulled out her wand and cast a spell to open the shell in her hand. Inside sat a perfectly round red pearl.

“Barry look!” she cried turning it around toward him.

“It’s beautiful babe, just like you.” Pink crept into Lup’s cheeks. “It’d be perfect for a ring.” Her eyes lit up as the wizard quickly reached up and took one of the small gold cuffs off her ear.

“I knew I loved you for a reason, both smart and pretty.” Lup’s eyes flashed as she gathered the earring and the pearl in her palm before taking her wand to it.

“What are you up to?” Barry’s question went completely ignored as Lup quickly cast a transmutation spell on the small objects. When the work was complete a single object lay in her palm, a gold ring, the band crafted like licks of flame, with the shining red pearl nestled at its center. “Lup, it’s so beautiful. It almost looks like a wedding ring.” When his eyes rose to meet her gaze she was biting her lip which she only did when she was nervous.

“Barry, will you marry me today?” she asked pulling out a second gold band from her pocket. The science officer was in complete shock. He’d been trying to work up the nerve to ask her the same question but couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“Lup, yes, of course, I’ll marry you. Nothing would make me happier.” He leaned over and kissed her deeply, full of fifty years of love and longing for his beautiful partner. The elven woman leaned into his touch. “How about sunset tonight?” She nodded in agreement.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Lup was a vision in a flowing, off the shoulder, white dress. Her hair blew back in the ocean breeze, several small braids wound up to form a small coronet around her head with bright orange and red fire lilies woven in. A bouquet of the same flowers wrapped with shells was clenched tightly in her fingers as she made her way to the end of the aisle where the rest of her family waited.

“Who gives this woman to be married?” Merle asked.

“No one but as her brother and best friend I give my blessing for these two to be wed.” Lup had to fight the tears welling in her eyes at her brother’s sweet words. “You take care of her Barold or so help me I will hunt you down and kill you in every inventive and painful way I know… and I know a lot.” Barry paled for a moment before Lup swatted her brother.

“Baby, ignore him.” When his eyes landed on her the light and joy returned two-fold. Taako reached out and put Lup’s hand in Barry’s.

“I know you’ll take good care of her Barry.” Taako smiled at him before pressing a kiss to Lup’s temple and taking his place next to Lucretia. His attempt to hide the tears in his eyes was a critical fail. Lup turned her gaze to her husband to be and took her place across from him in front of Merle.

“Dearly beloved we gather today for the joining of Barry and Lup in matrimony before their family and the gods. Do you have anything you’d like to say to each other?” Merle asked. Lup gazed down at Barry, her eyes shining.

“Lup, when we first met all I could think was how different you were from the other women in my life. You are such a spitfire and I never know what to expect next. You always make me laugh and make me so incredibly happy I am so blessed to walk this crazy life of ours with you by my side. I love you so much.” By the time he was done Lup was brushing away tears. Barry gave her hand a squeeze and a reassuring smile.

“Barry, my beautiful Barold,” she began, a small laugh escaping her. “For so much of my life, it was just me and my brother. It felt like he was the only one I could lean on, depend on, but then we joined the institute and I met you. At first, I just thought of you like my dorky coworker, then we became real friends, and before I knew it you were all I could think of. I couldn’t sleep because why dream when your reality is better than any dreams. I haven’t had an easy life so far but with you by my side I know I can face anything the future may throw at us. I love you with every fiber of my being.” By the time she finished speaking there was not a dry eye on the beach. Merle blew his nose sheepishly.

“Is there anyone here who objects to this union, please speak now or forever hold your peace.” Merle paused for a moment.

“There had better not be…” Lup quipped. Laughter filled the air.

“Barry, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer. Till death do you part?” Barry looked up into Lup’s eyes, a smile spreading across his lips.

“Even after death, I do.”

“Lup, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer. Till death do you part?” She grinned back at Barry, her eyes glittering in the fading twilight.

“What he said,” she replied a goofy grin taking over her features. Barry chuckled at her response as he slid the fire pearl ring on her hand. She returned the gesture with the simple gold band she had fashioned for him.

“Then by the power vested in me by Pan and all those who have witnessed this union I now pronounce you husband and wife. Barry, you may…” Lup leaned down and the pair were locked in a deep kiss before Merle could finish his sentence.

A loud cheer went up as the sun sank below the horizon and all around them beach torches flamed to life. Barry caressed his new wife’s cheek gently as they stood nose to nose gazing into each other’s eyes. A silent conversation passed between them, both concerned with the coming events, the lich ritual that would bring both of them to death, and the ever lingering threat of the Hunger but for tonight they would put all that aside and celebrate their love.

#lup #barry bluejeans #the adventure zone #taz balance #fanfiction #taz fic #that one where there's a wedding

13 notes · View notes

words-writ-in-starlight · 6 years

Note

Taakitz au where Kravitz is a spy and Taako is an undercover restaurant critic and they think they have the same job but they do Not (based off that one post)

For this headcanon meme!

Kravitz has every reason to think that he and Taako are on the same page. Taako travels constantly–he’s been to as many cities as Kravitz, maybe more, and he’s always a good sport about their long separations. Taako is loud and flashy, but he seems perfectly at home no matter where he goes, fits in seamlessly, knows everything about the food and the culture and what you should and shouldn’t shout in the street. Taako works for a mysterious woman that he calls the Director, and if she has a real name Kravitz has never heard it, ever. Taako handles knives with the lazy ease that most people reserve for their smartphones. Taako speaks nine languages and can send blood curdling threats tripping lightly off his tongue in all of them.

(One time Taako casually threatened to filet Kravitz down to the bone and serve him his own honey-roasted ass on a croque monsiuer, in beautiful and flawless French, while Kravitz was trying to steal a piece of the heirloom tomato Taako was chopping. It was easily one of the top five hottest things Kravitz has ever heard. But we’re not talking about that, or about the fact that Taako had to buy a new pan because the onions burned so badly while Kravitz was distracting him.)

Taako has every reason to think that he and Kravitz are on the same page, because Kravitz is his husband and he loves him, but also: Kravitz is a fucking goober. Kravitz calls his boss, a perfectly nice woman named Raven who Taako has met, “Her Majesty” because he thinks he’s funny. Kravitz sends Taako Snapchats of pretty food in every city he goes to, and complains about his coworkers, and about how they never help him stay on the down-low. Kravitz speaks a dozen languages like a native but can’t do an accent to save his fucking life in his native tongue.

It comes to light that Taako and Kravitz are NOT on the same page because of Lup. Actually, because of Barry. Who Taako has known since forever, because Lup and Barry have been dancing around each other almost as long. Ch’boy saw a fine piece of ass in a suit and executed the patented Taako Charm Offensive and now he has a husband two years later. It took Lup and Barold two decades to kiss and they are still not married and honestly Taako hates them both so very much. The POINT is that Barold was out of town while Taako and Kravitz got married, so through a hectic series of events, they have never actually met. Their first meeting goes like this.

“You must be Barold! Hi, I’m Kravitz, Taako’s husband, I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“…right. This is about to get kind of wild. My name’s not actually Barold. It’s Barry Hallwinter, but pretty much everyone calls me Barry Bluejeans.”

“…..excuse me for just one moment.”

[cut to Taako and Kravitz in a back hallway]

“Why the FUCK didn’t you tell me that your brother in law was the top cleaner in the country, do you KNOW how long I’ve been looking for him?”

“Barold’s a chemist, Krav.”

“THAT MAN IS A PROFESSIONAL HIDER OF LITERAL DEAD BODIES, AND I CAN PROVE IT.”

[cut back to Barry and Lup in the other room, visibly eavesdropping]

“You never said Taako’s Kravitz and the Queen’s Kravitz were the same Kravitz,” Barry says, disapproving. “Do you know how long he’s spent on my ass?”

“That’s because Taako told me he was a fucking food critic!!!” Lup hisses back.

The four of them, Kravitz and Barry eyeing each other suspiciously, have a sit-down talk over dinner where they hash everything out and it’s…kind of a mess, but at the end of it, Taako claps his hands and says, “Okay! Just to recap! My sister the firebug is building flamethrowers for a criminal empire, maybe–”

“By accident! Barry’s helping me take them down.”

“–right, Barold, who has been using his chemistry PhD to run a lucrative evidence cleaning service for the past seven years. Which led him into conflict with Kravitz–”

“Conflict is a little strong,” Barry says.

“My boss wants his head on a stick, preferably alive for interrogation,” Kravitz clarifies. “Conflict is probably about right.

“–yeah, got that, homies, Kravitz, who is A GODDAMN HITMAN. And then there’s ME, ya BOY, T-A-A-K-O, who is a MCFUCKING FOOD CRITIC. Did I get everything?”

“Merle’s been helping Barry get information to take the Hunger down before I finish design and start production,” Lup volunteers.

“MERLE OWNS A FLOWER SHOP.” Taako stops for a moment and says, “Magnus is still a dork with a dog school, right?”

“Yeah, as far as we know.”

“CLEARLY THAT IS NOT VERY FUCKING FAR.”

After they sort everything out, Barry and Lup meet up with Kravitz’s boss who figures, hey, if they’re willing to cough up this information sans torture, she’ll take that, and also offers them jobs. Taako takes three weeks vacation to get hammered with his (ASSASSIN) husband, gently extorts an all-expense paid trip to Paris out of the Queen as payment for his silence, and never lets Kravitz live any of this mess down.

#taz #taz balance #the adventure zone #taako #taakitz #ask meme #headcanon meme #starlight writes stuff #sorry this feels kinda scattered but it's been A Day #i don't know what davenport does in this #maybe he's a pilot #it's been a wild couple of days for taako #also he spends 100% of his time mercilessly teasing kravitz for going out and learning about food to impress him #when he thought it was just that krav was a critic too it was FINE #but now he knows that krav WENT OUT AND LOOKED STUFF UP #specifically so that he could keep up with taako and impress him #and like...krav will never know peace again #one time kravitz sees taako handling his gun (like a glock or something this is not an innuendo)#and kravitz fucking bsod's right out #just chokes on his tongue watching #and taako looks up and smirks and goes 'i can't believe you're a fucking spy you're such a dork'#and then they kiss #idiot teenagers with a queue #anonymous #asked and answered

61 notes · View notes

selkie-elf · 6 years

Text

Ring

Read the whole fic in AO3

This is the third chapter in my Taaktiz selkie fic “Song Of The Sea”. Find the warnings in AO3

“I’m sorry. I don’t think I understand. You already know who I am, I introduced myself yesterday, didn’t I ?” Kravitz asked, letting his fur fall all the way down. Before he could even notice Taako’s raising blush, he quickly settled the head of the seal on his lap. It might have been a while, but he remembered well how land creatures reacted to nudity.

“Yeah yeah I know your name and you know mine, but like… what are you? Are you like fairy folk or something. Why… why did you came here? Are you here to drown me?” Taako gulped down the lump in his throat and faced Kravitz again. He wasn’t even sure what he was feeling. Fear? Comfort? This was just too absurd. Kravitz giggled a bit, seemingly amused by Taako’s blushed face.

“ If I wanted you to drown, I had a perfect chance yesterday. Your mother never told you about selkies?” Kravitz asked, settling his hands on to his lap. Taako’s ear flinched at the word, but his expression didn’t change. “Not really. Me and momma didn’t really get along to be honest” Taako sighed. Kravitz noticed how the elves tail started to draw slow circles around. “But it seems you are familiar with the story?” “ My brother-in-law told me a bit. Beautiful people who can turn into seals,right?” Taako said and threw a fishbone to the waters below. Kravitz almost jumped after it, before realizing that he would only make himself look like a fool.

“Yeah. That’s like the basics” Kravitz said, nudging himself a bit closer to Taako, when he noticed that the elf had taken another fish from the basket and started to gut it.

“ So, what does mister “in reality I’m a greedy seal who likes to hang around near dangerous fishing nets” does on my deck? Are here just to beg for free fish?” Taako raised an eyebrow and threw a fish to Kravitz. Even in his human form the selkie still catched the fish with his mouth. Taako let out a small laugh when the man grabbed the fish like puppy would grab a ball his owner had just thrown at him. He took a gently bite of the raw fish. It seemed that even in his human form, his teeth were still the same sharp teeths of his other form.

“ I should ask that question from you. Like I’m pretty sure that you didn’t just call me to offer me free fish, though I’m not complaining” Kravitz smiled and took another bite. Taako could hear the sickening crunch of small bones as Kravitz continued with his meal. “And what do you mean by that? I think you can drop the “oh I’m a magical creature, wow at my presence”-act. I’d just like some answers” Taako groaned, feeling the blood drip down his hands. “ You cried seven tears in to sea. You called me and… it’s my duty to answer a call” there was a sense of hesitation in Kravitz’s voice. “And then you almost drowned and of course I had to help you but I know that wasn’t the only thing I need to do” “ So, you are here to help? With what?” Taako asked. Kravitz’s shoulders tensed up a bit. “ Well. I don’t know…” “ That’s okay. I don’t mind you hanging out near our deck, but please be careful. Sazed has nets all around, it would be a shame to find you one one day, all tangled up and drowned” Taako said calmly, concentrating on the fish.

Kravitz felt lost. Taako just sat quietly splashing his toes in the water, not even looking at him. An awkward silence rain over the two men as they just stared at the black water below them.

“So you have a husband?” Kravitz broke the silence. “Yeah. For a while now” Taako answered. “Was he the one that came look for you last night?” “Yeah. That’s Sazed”

“ Are you happy?”

Taako’s hands stopped. Kravitz gathered his fur around his hands, ready to jump to the sea. The knife in Taako’s hand looked sharp, making the scar on his back ache with a bad memory.

“I think. I’m not sure. I… we at least were happy” Taako dropped the knife by his side. The wedding ring on his finger was stained. He had not bothered to take it off for so long. Taako knew that if he took it off, he would see the beautiful carving of their wedding day and Sazed’s name inside the ring.

***

Their wedding had been nice and small. Not that many people had even been invited. Magnus with his wife, Barry, and even a rare sight, a Taako’s relative, Aunt Orchid with her two children had arrived to the wedding. The children had trouble staying in their seats while aunt Orchid had just watched the ceremony, not once putting out her pipe. In the end, most of the seats had been taken by Sazed’s friends. But Taako hadn’t mind it. It was still positive attention. And that surely was what he had needed. Sazed’s friends had cheered and clapped as the newlyweds had read the vows to each other in front of the priest. Sazed had looked handsome in his black suit, and for once in his life he had combed his hair. Taako had felt beautiful in his white dress, with a crown made of lupines on his hair. A much wanted change for the black skirt he had worn for the last couple of months.

“I do”, Taako had said. And he had not lied. That moment, Taako had truly believed that he would love Sazed forever. And when Sazed had leaned closer to kiss him, Taako had truly felt loved. They had made a promise to each other to stand by their side. Taako loved him. Taako loved him so much. He had already helped him through so much, and when Sazed had dropped to the his knee and promised to buy him a house on top of the hill, he had no other option than to say yes. He didn’t want to say anything else than “Yes”

Magnus had cried through the ceremony, sobbing uncontrollably with Julia patting him on the back. Taako was happy to see a small smile on Barry’s face when he had wiped away the corner of his eyes as he silently clapped. The children had been more interested in the table full of goodies that was waiting for the wedding guests.

Food had been, of course, Taako’s own cooking, and amazing as ever. Magnus and Julia had asked if Taako would be willing to do catering to their wedding as well and Taako had happily accepted offer.

Aunt Orchid had proceeded to complain about their choice of priest. A dirty, hippie looking fella with mud under his fingernails in her opinion was not a fitting choice for such a ceremony. Even when Taako had tried to explain that mister Highchurch was their friend and he much rather had his marriage blessed by a friend than a stranger Orchid had just turned her nose up and muttered something how she was not surprised that others of their family had not shown up. Taako really had wanted to shout something mean about hoping that none of them had shown up, but Sazed had asked him to dance.

While they had danced their wedding waltz, Barry had disappeared somewhere. Taako didn’t even realize it at first. His head was already spinning so much from the dancing and the alcohol, that one guest missing had hardly even passed his thoughts. Only when the others had joined the dance floor, giving Taako a good moment to rest his feet for a moment, had he noticed his brother in law missing. Magnus was too busy being spun in the air by Julia and Merle was in middle of a conversation with Orchid, which neither of them really seemed to enjoy. Taako looked around for awhile, before seeing the similar silhouette sitting in the shore.

“What the fuck are you doing now Barold?” Taako whispered to himself before starting to walk towards him. Taako knew that Barry wasn’t the biggest fan of big social gatherings, maybe he had just needed a breather? A small voice in Taako’s head however suggested a much worse scenario.

“How’s it going? Wanna go dancing?” Taako smiled. He would have sat next to Barry but he had not wanted his beautiful dress to get dirty.

“Oh Taako. Sorry. I just needed some time. I’ll be back soon”, Barry muttered. Taako sighed and patted Barry on the back.

“If you want to go to take a nap, there is a bed in the guestroom. You’ve drank quite a lot Barold” he said. Barry’s shoulders quietly trembled under his hands and his hand was holding his necklace close to his heart.

“ Do… do you think if I had proposed she would have said yes?” Barry whimpered, staring at his feet, avoiding Taako as much as he could.

“I’m sure she would have carried you down the aisle immediately”, Taako answered. He tried to keep his voice nice and even. This was his day. Last two ceremonies that he had attended had been in honor of his sister. They had been ceremonies to cry about her. This was supposed to be his day. His day to be happy.

“ She would have looked beautiful”, Barry sighed. Taako nodded. Yeah sure they had had plans. A double wedding. Both Taako and her throwing their bouquets at the same time. They would have celebrated and been so loud that their happiness could be heard all the way from mainland. They would have so happy.

So what? Plans had changed. Taako still wanted to be happy.

“Okay Barry. You know what? Sit here as long as you want. Come back when you are not making me sad anymore” Taako said dismissively and started to walk away, tears prickling in the corners of his eyes.

“Taako, I didn’t mean…”

“Well then what the hell was your objective!? I’ve spent last half a year wallowing in my sorrow. Yes she is fucking gone and you were to much of a coward to ask her to marry you. That’s not my fault! Fucking let me be happy!” Taako’s hand fisted on his wedding dress as he tried to calm his breath.

“ Do you really think Lup would had wanted us to cry about her death on my wedding day? This is my fucking day. Don’t ruin it for me!”

***

“Taako?”

Taako flinched under the sudden touch. His fingers were still wrapped around the wedding ring, tear flowing slowly from his eyes.

“Oh my gods, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to. I- I shouldn’t have asked! It’s just that usually when people call for selkies, they... “ Kravitz started to ramble, clumsily wiping Taako’s face with the back of his hand. Taako’s hands grabbed the selkie’s wrist gently. A small smile crept on to Taako’s face as he placed one Kravitz’s hands on his own cheek.

“It’s okay. It’s just..it’s been awhile since I have thought about that day” Taako sniffed. “I’m sorry Taako, I didn’t want you to feel bad” Kravitz whispered, leaning just an inch closer. “ It’s okay. But going back to your original question...I’m not sure. I can tell you the day I fell in love with him. I could tell you how much I did love him. It’s much more harder to pinpoint the day that I...didn’t anymore.” Now Taako found Kravitz’s hands gently combing his hair. It was something that Sazed had done a lot after Lup’s death. A familiar feeling of comfort and safeness.

“Taako?” Kravitz asked carefully, when the elves breaths had started to become steadier again. The elves grip on his wrist had started to ease, before he finally dropped his hands by his sides. “ Taako. I want you to know that… I’m here to help. I don’t know how to, yet...but I’ll be here” Kravitz’s voice was calm and gentle. Sincere. Taako wanted to believe him. “Okay” Taako sniffed, leaning his head to Kravitz’s bare chest. He could hear Kravitz’s pulse starting to raise, as the selkie’s hands wrapped around his back. “I’ll have to go soon. Is it okay if I visit in the evening?” Kravitz asked, drawing slow circles on Taako’s back. “No, Sazed will be home. He is leaving tomorrow morning. He wants us to spent the evening together” Taako muttered. Kravitz nodded lifting Taako’s chin up with his thumb and index finger. “ Would the night be okay then?” he asked. Taako smiled, bit unsure “ I think that I can make up a lie to excuse myself for a nightly walk. I’ll bring the storm lantern. If Sazed wants to come with me, I won’t bring the lantern ” Taako explained, nudging himself from Kravitz’s embrace. “I’ll keep that in mind” Kravitz said, gathering his fur around his body again. “But you’ll come back, promise? I still want to know more about mister sharp teeth” Taako asked, reaching for the knife again. He knew that any minute, Sazed could come back home, and he still had a lot to do. Kravitz nodded, almost bowing his head to Taako. “I promise”

Kravitz pulled the hood of his fur over his head. Taako watched in awe as the seals eyes, that had been empty just a second ago, were now filled with the golden glimmer. And in a loud splash, he was gone.

#taz #the adventure zone #taako #kravitz #fanfic #selkies #taakitz #barry bluejeans #magnus burnsides #merle highchurch #sazed

59 notes · View notes

holdmecloser-gandydancer · 3 years

Text

nightmares

prompt was "I had a bad dream about you so now i’m calling to make sure you’re ok" from this post (thank you hali for this request and inspiring me to accidentally write an almost companion piece to this fic)

The stone of far speech on Taako’s bedside table lets out a short chime. He groans and rolls over, burying his face into Kravitz’s neck. Whoever is on the other end can wait until noon like a respectable person.

He’s able to relax for all of ten seconds before he hears the chime again. He feels around for a throw pillow before launching it at the table. He smiles when he hears the clatter of the stone hitting the floor.

The stone chimes again. Taako is fully intent on ignoring it until Kravitz all but pushes him out of bed.

“Taako, if you don’t deal with whatever that is, I’m sleeping in the Astral Plane,” he says, voice caked with sleep.

“S’not fair,” Taako grumbles as he takes a minute to locate the still-chiming stone. He steps into the hallway and flicks the stone on.

“You got Taako.”

“Taako! Shit. Shit. What took you so long?”

“I was sleeping?”

“Taako.”

“What?”

“Taako, what’s my name?” Lup’s voice on the other end is frantic and bordering on shrill.

“What are yo-“

“Stop dicking around. Tell me my name. Tell me who I am.”

He lets out a small sigh. “Lup, you’re my sister. My twin sister, younger by two minutes. Best two minutes of my life, if I might add.”

“Shut up!” Her voice sounds calmer but she sounds like she’s been crying, Taako realizes.

He rolls his eyes before continuing. “You’re also my best friend. You’re married to another of my best friends. You two fools ripped out your souls to become creepy little liches.” He thinks for a minute. “Uh, you have a scar on your left shoulder. I bit you once because a kobold kid bet me three gold pieces I wouldn’t.”

Lup laughs weakly. “Keep going, please.”

“You’re the most selfless person I know, I think. You’re a million times more forgiving than I could ever be-“

“But I don’t fucking forgive Greg Grimaldis.”

He laughs. “That’s true. Lup, you’re also brilliant. The single best evocation wizard in this or any plane.”

“And you don’t um… you don’t get any bits of static around any of that?”

“Nope.”

Silence hangs on the line for a moment.

“I just had a real bad dream. I was back in the staff and I was screaming and doing everything I could possibly do to reach you. A-and then it broke and I was out but you still didn’t know who I was. You said that you didn’t have a sister, that you’re a solo act. That you don’t need anybody cramping your style.”

Taako’s stomach wrenches. He’s no stranger to nightmares. He’s been having them for as long as he can remember. They’ve gotten better in the few years since the day of Story and Song but sometimes Lup still gets these flashes of panic and she doesn’t take them well. Taako gets it. Guess that’s part of the whole being trapped in a living nightmare for a decade thing. Still, hearing her like this tears him up.

“Well, Lulu, I don’t need anyone cramping my style. But you don’t. Never could. And besides, you’re stuck with me. No solo acts, okay?”

She sniffles on the other end of the line. “Okay.”

“I told you, I’m not losing you again, goofus.”

“You’re damn right, dingus.”

“You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I just needed that. Just got scared again.”

“Well, I suppose I can forgive you for interrupting my beauty sleep.”

“How gracious!”

Taako huffs out a laugh and smiles. “Go back to bed, okay? And how about you and Barold come over for dinner tomorrow?”

“Okay. Yeah, yeah that sounds good. And Taako?”

“Yeah, Lup?”

A sigh. “Thanks. Love you.”

“Anytime. Love you too.”

#taz #taz balance #taz fic #the adventure zone #tazb #lup #lup taaco #taako #taako taaco #taaco twins #reese writes

320 notes · View notes

hulklinging · 7 years

Note

taz hugged the wrong person from behind au, idm who

(This is called ‘a bad case of hugging you.’ I just wanna make sure that’s clear)

Taakitz and Blupjeans and the twins being the twins.

Taako was not exactly a… Cuddly person.

In fact, contact in general? Not his cup of tea, compadre. The aloof thing looked real good on him, and he’d gotten to the point where if he initiated any kind of contact, it was shocking. Coveted, even. The last time he had 'allowed’ Magnus to hug him, the man had teared up.

Taako was a hot commodity, is the thing. He wanted to do what he could to remind people of that.

Shockingly, the person he got the most hugs from? A certain Barold J. Bluejeans. This was entirely based around the fact that Lup was wearing her hair long right now, just like Taako (they rarely matched like this, but Lup had stumbled in on Taako just as he was redoing his Disguise Self, and she hadn’t said anything, but she’d taken in the face that used to match here, and the next day declared she wanted to try out long hair). And Barry didn’t always remember to put his glasses on. Barry had accidentally hugged the wrong twin too many times to keep track of. It had swiftly become Taako’s favourite thing to tease the man about, and that was really saying something, because teasing his sister’s fiancé was one of Taako’s favourite ways to pass the time.

So, sometimes people hugged Taako. But Taako rarely returned the favour.

In his defence, he thinks, as he sees the long black cloak favoured by his favourite reaper, he hasn’t seen his own squeeze in a month. Anyways, they’re in his and Lup’s shared quarters, and Lup was out with Barry. No one was around to see him indulge in a hug, just this once.

He wraps his arms around the hooded figure. “Sup babe.”

The total nonchalance of the greeting is rather spoiled by his tight hug, but hey. No one’s perfect. Not even Taako.

Somewhere from the direction of Lup’s bedroom, something that sounds suspiciously like a camera clicks.

“Ha!”

Taako totally does not jump at the sudden yell. Please. He’s a fucking professional. Lup is surely exaggerating, he definitely did not leave the ground in any startled way, shape, or form.

“Care to give me and the man some privacy, sister dearest?”

A smooth recovery.

But there’s something in Lup’s smile that he doesn’t like.

“You sure that boy’s yours, dingus? Didn’t tall dark and boney say he was busy until next week?”

In that moment, Taako realizes something. And it’s terrible. Awful. Horrendous.

The person he’s hugging is warm.

He steps back and yanks at the cloak, revealing who else but Barry Fucking Bluejeans, smile wider than it had any right to be.

Taako splutters. “You!” He points a finger at Barry. “I take it back! I no longer support you marrying my sister!”

“Tough shit, little bro,” says Lup through her laughter. Barry’s joined in now too, and both of them look like they’re both about to start crying, they’re laughing so hard.

It wasn’t even that funny.

“So it’s true what they say,” Taako says. “Liches are evil. Pure, 100% natural spring water kind of evil.”

Lup casts Mage Hand specifically for the purpose of flipping him off. She’s wiping tears from her eyes.

“My sister? Oh, she died. Years ago, actually. A bunch of times. But she’s dead to me quite recently.”

Barry is wheezing like he’s having some kind of attack.

“Oh!” A door behind Taako has opened, and that’s where Lup is looking. “Thanks for the costume, Grim my man.”

“It’s a uniform,” says Kravitz, Taako’s long lost boyfriend. “Please don’t steal it again.”

Lup tosses it back to him with a wink. “No promises!” She’s mostly stopped laughing now, although every few seconds she lets out a little snort. “Anyway boys, it’s been fun, but Barry and me have a hot date tonight. Since I was an umbrella for the last one, he’s promised to help me steal a bubble so we can go watch a battle wagon race.”

“I didn’t actually agree to the stealing-” Barry starts, but Lup is already pushing him out the door.

“We’ll-be-back-in-a-day-or-two-don’t-do-anything-illegal-without-us-bye!”

A day or two? Taako turned back to his boyfriend, whose dark skin showed just the smallest hint of a blush.

“I finished early,” he says. “I wanted to see you. I hope my timing isn’t too inconvenient.”

Taako narrows his eyes at his sister. She’s out of sight already, but he knows she can still feel it. “Quite the opposite, lover.”

As far as scheming sisters go, he could have much worse than one who schemes to get him a full few days alone with his boyfriend. And now he knows he’s safe to step forward and give this whole hugging his boyfriend thing a round two.

“If you ever try to tell someone about this, I’ll deny it.”

Kravitz just chuckles, and presses a soft kiss to the top of Taako’s head.

#Taako #lup #Barry Bluejeans #kravitz #taakitz #blupjeans #taz #taz fanfic #the adventure zone #Ziggy writes fanfiction

178 notes · View notes

fae-fucker · 7 years

Text

The One: Chapter 26-27

Chapter 26

America mopes around at home. Just a couple of things to note:

I didn’t even want [Lucy] serving me, and it seemed she was mostly fine with helping Mom however she could or playing with May.

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, but there’s something icky about the fact that America accepted people serving her so easily. She’s supposedly someone who’s super poor, I feel like she’d be more squicked out by the idea of having servants, since that’s a rich people thing. Especially considering that Lucy admitted that they’re basically slaves. WHICH YEAH, WHY DID I SUDDENLY FORGET ABOUT THAT. Probably because the book did, but WHAT THE FUCK.

But I guess since America harbors no ill will toward the upper class, because they’re actually all good and precious and can’t help that they’re creating this caste system, she probably thinks that servants are totally cool. Maybe she’s such a NATURAL LEADER that it’s in her nature to have people wiggle around like worms at her feet.

Anyway, because KCass is a hack and TWU WUV can only happen once, we find out that America suddenly thinks that her thing with Aspen wasn’t real love, unlike what she has with Maxon. Which I call bullshit, because she describes her “love” for both exactly the same way. But I guess when your TWU WUV shows up, you realize that all those other times you’ve been in love was actually fake and worthless and terrible. (Sideyes SJM, too.)

You know what pisses me off though? We’ve spent three books with America as she tried to figure out which boy’s dick she wants to sit on the most, only to find out that one of the dicks wasn’t even a real seat in the first place.

Like, we all knew that Maxon was going to win from the first time we read the blurb, but the fact that Aspen didn’t even mean shit to America herself (not as much as Maxon apparently does anyway) at all makes this whole thing feel even cheaper.

Anyway, America talks to her older sister about the fact that she can’t admit to Aspen that she doesn’t love him anymore, despite also never having loved him for realzies in the first place. Why?

“What if Maxon picks someone else? I can’t walk away from this with nothing. At least if Aspen still thinks there’s a chance, maybe we could try again when everything’s over.”

She stared at me. “You’re using Aspen as a safety net?”

I buried my head in my hands. “I know, I know. It’s awful, isn’t it?”

THIS IS SOMETHING THAT’S A LEGIT CHARACTER FLAW THAT SHOULD BE BROUGHT UP AND EXAMINED AND RESOLVED. NOT SOMETHING YOU THROW IN ALL WILLY-NILLY AT THE END OF THE BOOK.

HOLY SHIT, KCASS, WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?!

This isn’t anything new, we all know America is a selfish twat, but still. What the actual fuck?

Whatever. The chapter ends with Aspen trying to talk to America about something (the fact that he’s in love with Lucy I bet), but because KCass doesn’t know the concept of having mercy, America nonsensically shuts him up and tells him to fuck off before he can spit out the truth.

Chapter 27

America returns to the castle and all the other Selection girls have a surprise party because Maxon is announcing his engagement tomorrow!

The room exploded with cheers, and I was so confused. Emmica, Ashley, Bariel . . . everyone was here. I hunted, but I knew it was pointless. Marlee wouldn’t be invited to this.

“This celebration that isn’t meant for me is POINTLESS because my personal dick-sucker isn’t here!” Cry me a fucking river, you selfish little bitch.

Apparently Celeste and Elise were kicked out and only she and Kriss are left. If Maxon really wanted to show America that he’s chosen her, picking her only real rival to stay as the last girl is ... suspicious. Why didn’t he just kick her out too? Oh right, because KCass can’t fucking live without idiotic last-minute drama, so Kriss has to stay for when Maxon and America inevitably break up again so he can pretend he’ll marry her for “tension”.

SJM (claims that she) lets her characters control the plot and steer it to nonsensical levels of idiocy, KCass forces her characters to do shit that makes no damn sense for the sake of the plot.

Both exremes are bad, children.

America confronts Kriss about being a rebel (because she’s wearing a dumb star necklace around her neck like an idiot) and acts weirdly pissed about it?

“I haven’t done anything illegal. I’m not mounting protests anywhere; I just support the cause.”

“Fine,” I spat. “But how much of your part in the Selection is you wanting Maxon and how much is your group wanting one of their own on the throne?”

Why the fuck is America being an uppety bitch about this? Her dad, whom she supposedly loves so much, was a rebel. Why the fuck is she suddenly so anti-rebellion? I know she loves to suck rich dick but what the fuck?

Oh wait, is she worried that poor Maxi Pad will be UUUUUSED for POLITICAL REASONS and not marry for TWU WUV. Poor Maxi-Waxy!!! Spare him from this horrible fate!!!

KCass, what’s wrong with you?

I wanted to tell her that Maxon and I could do great things, too, that we’d probably already done more than she could guess.

Oh, really? Tell me one thing. ONE THING, BITCH, CAN YOU DO IT?!

Besides, she and I had a lot in common. I came here for my family; she came here for a family of sorts.

You came here for your family? Lmao what? Don’t give me that bullshit, America. You were always motivated by men. You came because Aspen rejected you, and any time Maxon rejected you, you wanted to leave.

KCass, don’t try to pull this. I know you didn’t expect someone who can actually think about what they’re reading to read your schlock, but this retroactive motivation patch won’t fool me.

Should I keep my mouth shut? Should I at least let someone know? Was this even a bad thing?

Well, Kriss is a rebel sympathizer and remember how you refused to sentence one to prison even though he was already sentenced? Or do you not care if it’s a woman and she’s a rival competing for your maaan?

Fuck off.

Kriss also says that she won’t “back down” even if America tries to sell her out or blackmail her, but she’s like ... in no position to make such statements. We know how the rebels are punished. America could tell the king and have Kriss arrested and she’d become the princess because there would be no one left. I’m not saying America would do such a thing (but she obviously considers it), because that would require being proactive and ambitious and we’ve already established that America’s greatest strength is her being a passive doormat, but I’m saying that Kriss is overestimating her power here.

If there was something real between Maxon and Kriss, any attempt to expose her would look like a desperate last effort to win. And even if that worked, that wasn’t how I wanted to get Maxon.

I wanted him to know I loved him.

It’s all about Maxon. Everything revolves around Maxon.

Speaking of which, America leaves the party to mope and Maxon comes into her room to suck her dick some more.

“I’m glad I at least got to meet [her dad]. I can see bits of him in you, you know.”

[...]

“Your sense of humor, for one. And your tenacity. When he and I spoke during his visit, he grilled me. It was nerve-racking, but kind of funny at the same time. You’ve never just let me off the hook either.

“Of course, you have his eyes and I think his nose, too. And I can see your optimism beaming out sometimes. He gave me that impression as well.”

Sense of humor?? What sense of humor?? What tenacity?? Optimism??

Sense of humor: Where???

Tenacity: *anything goes slightly wrong* OH NO I’VE FAILED BETTER GIVE UP.

Optimism: *boy does something slightly mysterious* OH NO HE DOESN’T LOVE ME ANYMORE!! EVERYTHINS IS RUINED!!

Sure. Uh huh. KCass is just pulling these traits out of her ass at this point.

Anyway, Maxon apparently has bought her family a house. So that’s ... great.

He did this so they could live closer! But??? Why???? What does it all mean!!!! America is still as dumb as ever, I see.

They start making out but because they’re GOOD GOOD CHRISTIAN CHILDREN, we don’t get any dick-in-vag action.

I was going crazy, wanting so much more of him, aching to know if he’d let me have it.

FEED HER THE LITTLE PRINCE, MAXON. SHE NEEDS IT INSIDE HER.

He doesn’t. Instead, they finally exchange I love yous and:

I wanted to stay up all night with him, to explore this new feeling we’d discovered.

“New”? NEW? BAROLD, ROLL THE CLIP!!

Before long we were tangled together on the dirty, thin rug. Aspen pulled me on top of him, and I brushed his scraggly hair with my fingers, hypnotized by the feel. He kissed me feverishly and hard. I felt his fingers dig into my waist, my back, my hips, my thighs. I was always surprised that he didn’t leave little finger-shaped bruises all over me.

We were cautious, always stopping shy of the things we really wanted. [The Selection, Chapter2]

BUT I GUESS IT WASN’T REAL HORNINESS WHEN YOU WERE WITH ASPEN, RIGHT?! IT WAS ALL JUST A LIE!! ANYTHING THAT HAPPENED WITH ASPEN WAS IN THE MATRIX, THIS IS ALL IN THE REAL WORLD AND YOU AND MAXON ARE CURRENTLY MAKING OUT IN ZION WHILE THERE’S A HUGE RAVE OUTISIDE!!

There’s some noise outside (the rave probably) and Maxon freaks out and tells America that he can’t fuck her right now, because he’s so stressed out.

“Don’t be sad. I want to take you on a proper honeymoon. Someplace warm and private. No duties, no cameras, no guards.” He wrapped his arms around me. “It will be so much better that way. And I can really spoil you.”

[...]

“You can’t spoil me, Maxon. I don’t want anything.”

[...]

“Oh, I know. I don’t intend on giving you things. Well,” he amended, “I do intend on giving you things, but that’s not what I mean. I’m going to love you more than any man has ever loved a woman, more than you ever dreamed you could be loved. I promise you that.”

“I’m gonna dive in your cooch for so long I’ll develop gills, babe.”

I sighed, promising myself that we’d talk about Aspen tomorrow. It would need to happen before the ceremony, and I felt sure I knew how to explain things in the best way. For now, I would enjoy this tiny bubble of peace and rest securely in the arms of the man I loved.

Good fucking night.

#eff reads: the one #book rants

14 notes · View notes

randomfandomcat · 7 years

Text

Promise Me

Ship: Taakitz (Taako/Kravitz)

Rating: Teen

Note: this was a commission for my lovely friend @gay-medusa !!!! They asked for some found family fluff with Taako, Lup, and Kravitz, and here it is! Commission writing Commission art My art blog Read on AO3

“What’s messin’ you up, Kra-” Lup starts to ask, but is quickly cut off by Kravitz. “I wanted to ask your permission to marry Taako.” He swallows hard, making eye contact now. Well. Not what she expected. She also didn’t expect to be shaking and sweating at the idea.

As nervous as he is, Kravitz knows he has to do this.

He makes his way into the main room of the shared apartment, seeing Lup at the table absentmindedly twirling magic around her finger. Taako’s out of the house with Magnus and Merle, doing Istus knows what (quite literally, she knows).

“Ahem. Lup?” He leans on the countertop, trying to inch his way to her. “Could I speak with you a moment?”

“Sure? What’s up, man?” Lup raises a brow, a bit concerned as to what Kravitz is going to say. He’s usually a nervous bumbling dork, sure, but he looks serious now.

“I, uh…” He pauses and sits across from Lup, shifting in his seat. He’s making some motion with his hands, switching between wringing them, tapping his fingers on the table, or circling his thumbs.

“What’s messin’ you up, Kra-” Lup starts to ask, but is quickly cut off by Kravitz.

“I wanted to ask your permission to marry Taako.” He swallows hard, making eye contact now.

Well. Not what she expected.

She also didn’t expect to be shaking and sweating at the idea. She clears her throat, hiding her fear.

“Huh. Cool, uh, sweet dude.” She leans forward in her chair, chin in her hands, staring down Kravitz. “So, what’s a grim reaper make in a year?”

“Wh- pardon?” Kravitz stops playing with his hands, confused, of course.

“Will you be able to provide for Taako?” Lup asks, as if it was an obvious question.

“I- yes? I mean, he makes some decent money, but I, I have access to resources-” Kravitz shrugs, looking around the room as he thinks.

“Are you ready for this kind of commitment?”

“Lup, I’m a grim reaper, I’ve been dating Taako for a few years now, I don’t see how I wouldn’t be.” Kravitz sounds a little exasperated, but this is only the beginning.

“Yes or no?” Lup cocks her head to the side, mentally giving him a strike.

“Yes, I’m ready to marry Taako.” Kravitz sighs, leaning forward on the table.

“Where do you see yourselves in 5 years?”

“Well, married for starters. Living here still, maybe? Maybe I’ll be an independent conductor by then…” Kravitz taps his finger against his lips as he thinks about the future with Taako. Lup slams her hands on the table like she’s interrogating him, and Kravitz jumps.

“What makes you want to marry him?” Lup only seems to be getting more upset with further questions. Were his answers not good enough? Was he going to be able to marry Taako? Kravitz thumbed over the ring in his pocket, scared of what Lup was thinking.

“Well… I love him. He makes my heart flutter somehow, he’s funny and charming, and even if he’s egotistical, he’s confident at least. And he’s sweet to me, despite everything he’s been through. He makes lovely dinners, he’s dumb and romantic, that lovable doofus…” Kravitz trails off, and Lup can almost see the hearts in his eyes.

When Kravitz looks at Lup, she just looks angry.

“Lup? What do you-” Kravitz is looking back at her with sincere fear and question, and it only makes Lup angrier.

“Why do you deserve to marry him!?” She shouts, standing with her hands slammed on the table until she realizes what she’s done. She stiffens and slinks back into her chair, looking anywhere but at Kravitz, her hand on her cheek as she hides tears.

“Lup…” Kravitz’s voice is almost inaudible. Caring. “I’m not going to take your brother away from you.” He says it like it’s obvious, but in Lup’s head, that’s all that can happen.

“You don’t know that.” She starts quietly. “I’ve already had him taken away from me you don’t know that-” Her voice is trembling and words stumble out of her mouth, and she’s hitting herself for revealing this side of her.

“Because I love him, and so do you. He’s your brother. I don’t know what you two have been through, not entirely, but you two have always been there for each other. I don’t want to take that away from you at all, I just…” He reaches a hand out, not touching Lup, but just there on the table, sitting sympathetically. “I want to support him too.”

Lup sits, the room still in this moment.

She blows a raspberry.

“Nerds.” She laughs, and Kravitz grins. “Yeah, okay. Fuckin’ get married.” Kravitz gasps and shakes her hand excitedly, pulling her up from her chair.

She grabs Kravitz’s tie and pulls him closer to her face.

“If you ever hurt him, I’ll know, and suddenly, a lot of people are gonna go un-reaped, you get me?” She threatens, gripping the tie as tightly as Kravitz was shaking her hands.

“Got it.” He chokes out and Lup lets him go, crossing her arms.

“Good.” Lup smirks.

A few weeks later, she watches as Kravitz fills their shared apartment with flowers and balloons, scattering petals in a path on the floor.

”This is a shitload to clean up and you know it.” Lup grumbles from her position, sprawled across the couch.

”It’s romance, Lup. I’m making this special.” Kravitz looks back at her for a moment and continues to place flower petals.

”Grosserooni, it’s like you love each other or something.” Lup sticks her tongue out and makes a barfing motion, which morphs into a smile.

Kravitz rolls his eyes and moves to setting up the ring, and Lup gets up to help.

Taako comes home, grumbling about an adventure, or what he’d cook tonight, then stops dead in his tracks. His eyes trail from petals and balloons, to bouquets upon bouquets of flowers, to Lup at the table.

”Lulu…. What’s with all the schmaltz?” His brow raises as a glimmer catches his eye, and he follows it to their little kitchen table. He slowly proceeds towards the glimmer, sitting in front of a silver, covered platter.

He narrows his eyes at Lup, then returns to the tray. “Did Krav make dinner? You know he’s not great at-” He mumbles out of the side of his mouth, but his jaw drops as he lifts the lid. In the center, the clay pot that Taako had made on their first date- they had traded pots at the end of it, and it was a treasured gift to each of them- with a ring at the bottom.

”You were saying?” Taako whips around to see Kravitz, down on one knee.

”I- Kravitz-” Taako’s voice wavers, tears welling in his eyes.

”Taako, I never thought I’d be so in love with a man that hit on me with tentacles.” Kravitz is grinning and suppressing giddy laughter, holding back his own tears.

”But I- I am, and- despite everything you’ve been through, and I’ve been through, and we’ve been through, I want to be with you for the rest of it, until-” Kravitz chokes up a little, a smile wide across his face. “Until death do us part.” He laughs nervously before continuing. “Will you-”

Taako is already saying yes, nodding furiously and pulling Kravitz to his feet before he can finish his sentence. They’re as close as can be, celebrating this happy moment, Lup silently gagging as she did earlier.

“Lulu, you knew about this?” Taako looks over at her, arms still wrapped around Kravitz.

“He came to me to get my blessing.” Lup shrugs with a smile. “Didn’t want to take you away from me or something.” Lup looks down, toeing at the rug.

“Oh,” Taako is silent for a moment, unraveling from Kravitz’s arms to go sit next to Lup.

“Lup, I’m your brother. You can’t get rid of me if you wanted to.” Taako elbows her with a laugh, and Lup shoves him away playfully.

“Ugh, get away from me and go out with your fiancé.” Lup giggles.

“Nope! No getting rid of me now! Hey, invite Barry over, I’ll toss one of these bouquets in his face so he gets the hint.”

“YOU’RE THE WORST-” Lup sees Taako pick up his Stone of Farspeech, calling Barry, who picks up on the first few rings.

“HEY BAROLD! KRAVITZ AND I ARE ENGAGED WE COULD HAVE A DOUBLE WED-” Taako shouts into the Stone, and they can hear Barry yell in surprise.

“NO SHUT UP DON’T LISTEN TO ANYTHING HE SAYS-” Lup defends, trying to yell louder than Taako, who does the same in turn. They wrestle to keep the Stone away from the other and defend themselves, and Kravitz wonders how he got so lucky.

#taakitz #taako/kravitz #uhhhhhh fuc i don't think there's anything else i can tag this with eh #this was really fun to write i might do some art for it lmao #for one bit at least bc i have a really clear vision of it #anyways. sticks mlegy at this #peace

8 notes · View notes

theadventurezoneoftruth · 7 years

Text

perfect fit

She looks at her creation once more - a small orange stone he once gave her, a gold band she smelted herself. She takes it off and places it beside an identical ring. After all, she isn’t engaged yet.

She grins, knowing she would be by the day's end.

Lup sets the mood. Barry does some shrimpin’.

She slides the ring onto her finger. It’s an unfamiliar weight, which is a fitting metaphor for her emotional state right about now. She looks at her creation once more - a small orange stone he once gave her, a gold band she smelted herself. She takes it off and places it beside an identical ring. After all, she isn’t engaged yet.

She grins, knowing she would be by the day's end.

They’d floated the idea before - like hell she’d do such a vulnerable act without knowing he’d say yes. It still makes her anxious, she really doesn’t want to fuck this up.

So she’s keeping it simple. A romantic candlelit dinner, stargazing, and then the sappy stuff. Lup double checks that she’s packed the rings, and sets out to the kitchen.

“Barry!” She yells as she gathers the ingredients. “C’mere!”

He enters the room with a confused look, and she quickly puts a bright blue apron him.

“You’re gonna be my sous chef,” she says. “I already got the mise en place, so wash your hands and we’ll get cooking.”

“What’s for dinner?” He asks, and she gestures towards the ingredients.

“Take a guess.”

Lemons, angel hair pasta, some herbs he doesn’t recognize, cloves of garlic, shrimp, and three bottles of white wine.

“Shrimp and pasta with a nice pinot grigio” He says, and she ponders his response.

“Mhm, close. The shrimp is gonna be cooked in the wine. But” she adds with a smile. “We can drink while we cook. Gotta make sure it’s good, right?”

“Of course,” he agrees. She pours them both a glass, and takes a big gulp. She’ll need some extra courage.

“Juice and zest some of those lemons,” she instructs. She liberally salts the water, and uses some of her magics to bring it to a boil. They work in a comfortable silence until she hears his soft voice.

“Smell those shrimp, they're beginnin' to boil,” he sings. His voice is low and soft, unlike her own.

“Wasted away again in Margaritaville,” she belts, using a wooden spoon as a stand in microphone.

“Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt. Some people claim that there's a woman to blame, But I know it's nobody's fault. Don't know the reason, Stayed here all season With nothing to show but this brand new tattoo. But it's a real beauty, A Mexican cutie, how it got here I haven't a--”

“Holy shit, is Margaritaville our song?” He interrupts. She laughs as she plates their meal.

“I mean, fuck yeah,” she says. “And they say romance is dead!”

“Who says that?”

“Uh, they do,” she deadpans. She elegantly casts Continual Flame to light the candles. “And they, my dear Barold, are wrong.”

“This is some classy stuff,” he says. “Is there a special occasion I’m forgetting? Because our anniversary isn’t for a month.”

She bluffs. “You’re a special occasion.” She gives him a kiss and hopes he doesn’t suspect.

“That’s really sweet,” he says.

“Mhhm. You know what else is sweet?” She asks. “This bomb ass meal. Let’s get eating.”

It’s great, of course it is. They cooked it together. And any good chef knows that Fantasy Jimmy Buffett is the best secret ingredient.

The sky of this planet is a constant aurora that bathes them in a gentle glow. They spent weeks studying the weather patterns of this planet together, and many nights under the stars for purely scientific reasons. But this is for pleasure, not work.

She runs her fingers on the smooth stone, calming her enough to stop thinking and start doing. She stands, hand in hand with Barry.

She gets down on one knee, and instantly he knows. Seeing his eyes glimmering and his dorky smile leaves her speechless. “Shit, I really should have written this ahead of time.”

“We-we’ve been through a lot together. And uh, I really didn’t expect ay of this, but I really love you. I feel comfort and warmth with you, you mean so much to me in a way no one else has. So,”She says, opening the jewelry box. “Will you be my nerd forever and marry me?”

“Yes,” he says, fighting off tears. She puts the ring on his finger, and puts her own on as well. They’re a perfect fit.

They kiss, and ever after all these years, it still excites her. She hold her fiancé closer - her fiancé, her fiancé.

She is engaged, and she is happy.

#blupjeans #lupjeans #barry bluejeans #lup #lup tacco #barry #here it is everybody. a) i'm hoping to like. do a marriage arc i guess?? hopefully the next few drabbles will deal with that #b) a COPIOUS amount of fantasy jimmy buffet #my writing

20 notes · View notes