VIPEROUS – true self
Pairing: Dark!Zemo X F!Reader
Sumarry: You arrive home only to find out that you've gotten pregnant by the worst man you can think of.
Warnings: zemo is not so sweet in this one. unplanned pregnancy. loneliness. daydreaming. self-doubt. fear. drink-spiking.
A/N: First of all, i know that unplanned pregnancy isn't everybody favorite plot and I'M SORRY.
But you didn't thought I'd name a fic "viperous" and not write zemo at his fcking worst, did you?
You had discovered it pretty early on.
After parting ways with the boys, you were feeling furious. You didn’t bother saying your goodbyes or listening to theirs, you simply held your bags and walked away from Zemo’s private jet; no turning back, no fake smile. Although, you could pull your pissed expression only for a few minutes, as soon as you turned a corner tears blurred your vision.
Nonetheless, you went your way. In less than 24 hours you got to your home country and ten hours later you arrived in the dense rainforest you called home. It took you a few days to settle in again, to forget — or better, to ignore — the fateful events and get back to your routine.
You stayed recluse at your house for a bit more than a month, before you had to come down to the nearest village; your supplies had their days counted and you could no longer postpone a visit to the hospital, the wound in your ribs had healed but the area was still too sore.
You were expecting a broken rib or two, but the blood test they ran came out with a different outcome. One that you had no idea how to deal with.
A pregnancy. You were about six weeks pregnant. It was very hard to understand the simple sentence coming out of your Doctor's mouth, it seemed impossible even; but you haven't used any protection the last time you were intimate with someone.
It was obvious to you who the father was and it terrified you. Zemo was miles away running away from James and Sam after having managed to kill Karli Morgenthau and half the members of the Flag-Smasher. He didn’t know your whereabouts or condition, yet even the idea of him finding out was enough to make you shiver. His actions in the past decade made it clear that he loved his son, yet, you didn’t know how he’d react this time around with a woman he didn’t know nor loved – all while hiding from her own friends.
You weren't sure if you wanted to keep it, but something was clear in that moment: he could never know, no one could.
So after getting the exam result and making sure your ribs were okay, you scheduled a prenatal appointment with a discreet Doctor in a distant city and went your way home.
You had a lot to think about. Parenting a child was hard enough with the help of others, but completely alone… Yet, you realised quite fast you wanted to keep it.
You also realised that you didn’t know shit about babies. You spend the first trimester of your pregnancy researching and studying everything you could, buying everything the internet said you’d need and having horrible nightmares almost every week.
Because you were worrying about everything at once, three month went by fast.
The lovely lady who owned the grocery store you go to regularly became your acquaintance and gave you very good tips. Your most dear tea recipe — the one that could treat the worst of nauseas or anxiety — was given from her and even some sleeping position for when your belly gets too big. You were visiting her more and more, especially because your nightmare was making you kinda paranoid.
There were two that seemed to never let you in peace. The first one involved the Avengers taking the baby away and was very simple, it was always James or Sam and you were left alone, crying. The second, though, was more stange; you had the baby in your hands, feeding him, and there was always a figure looking at you. Later, you followed their cry to a cradle, but it was empty and you knew exactly who took it.
Most nights you wake up in a cold sweat. And you end up always thinking of Zemo. You tried your best to let it go, to forget about him but you were feeling really guilty and scared.
In Madripoor, when you were in his arms, every concern you had seemed to go away and you longed for that feeling on a daily basis. You knew you couldn't have that. You didn't know where the hell he was, or wanted to be with a man who killed a child without any guilt. You agreed with Sam about Karli and really thought a solution could have been made if Zemo hadn't shot her – as you later found out.
Sure, you wanted to feel the comfort of someone's warmth against you. You wanted to not have to think about the possible outcome of failing as a Mother. You wished you weren't feeling so alone.
You wanted to have everything Helmut offered you in whispers back in that dirty town.
However, you knew he could never leave the Raft if he ever gets caught and telling him of the child growing inside you would kill him because he couldn't be present. No matter how much you wished. So you resumed the little life you built for yourself.
Sunbathing in the morning with a book in hand, eating healthy foods you were learning how to cook and visiting the small village down the hill once a week so you didn't feel so lonely.
On the bad days, you liked to daydream about being someone's housewife; taking care of the chores got a lot easier when you were waiting for your husband to come back from work. Yet not even your silly little dreams could save you from the solitude late at night, when there was only your pillow with a cologne similar to his to hold on to.
It was raining again — a thunderstorm this time. Lately it has been raining a lot, more than you had been accustomed to; not that you disliked it, you adored watching the lightning and thunder. Through the floor-to-ceiling windows you could see the sky clearly, the trees surrounding your house danced and howled as the thunder approached.
It was late in the night and you were terribly tired, but you simply could not let a thunderstorm go unwatched. In your childhood, you were terrified of them, you always ran to hide under your blankets with your teddy bear, but, somewhere in your teen years you became bewitched by the loud noise and the flashing lights.
You were thinking of Helmut again, but, this time, something felt odd. It was almost like you could feel him thinking of you as well. A silly thought really, that you were connected somehow. You took a deep breath and rested in the chair.
The idea of having a soulmate pleased you but the rational part of you knew you just wanted someone who you could trust fully and completely. A national terrorist couldn’t be that person. Especially not a dead one.
Less than a week ago the news of him startled you, he had… died. They didn't specify exactly what happened in the little newspaper article except that the Winter Soldier had found Zemo after his attack on Captain America – well, John Walker – and that ended with his death. What was obviously a lie, James wouldn’t kill him. Would he? You were too afraid of looking deep into it. Perhaps… No. It hurted you to think about it.
You reached out to grab your mug on the coffee table, but that felt like too much effort. In fact, everything felt overwhelming; you could not get up when you heard the front door keys moving, or when the sound around the house got close. Something was wrong with you, the tea made you way too sleepy. You tried to get up.
When you turned around leaning on the armchair, your eyes got caught like a deer’s by the fleshlight on a road.
There, standing at the door, the most frightful ghost of all. The soaking wet Baron stared right into your soul before smiling softly.
“Liébling, what are you doing awake at this hour? Don’t you know it is bad for the baby?”
You gasped and reached out for something on the coffee table, but ended up dropping the mug on the ground. The shattering startled you even more, in an attempt to get away you stepped into a piece of broken glass and fell down.
The ghost of Helmut Zemo tried to approach, but upon seeing you hurt yourself further gave up.
Now the palm of your hands were bleeding as well and you were hiding half of your body, still transfixed. The need to protect your womb was there, urging you to cover your belly with your hands or tighten the cardigan around you, but you resisted it.
“I promised you I have no intention of hurting you. Ever” he whispered, taking a hesitant step.
You couldn’t bring yourself to answer the ghost, shaking your head and raising your bloody hands to your face.
“Liébling. Let me help you.”
The sleepiness was now worse than before, you could feel yourself slipping away. Then you realise.
“Helmut, what did you put in my drink?” He took the final steps to you and held you tight. The blood stained his shirt, but he didn’t seem to mind a bit, bringing your hand to his lips to kiss it chastely.
“Don’t worry now. I’ll take care of you” he kissed your temple and your cheeks. Before falling unconscious, you remember thinking he still smelled the same.