21. “Sometimes, being a complete nerd comes in handy.” and blupjeans? :)
21. “Sometimes, being a complete nerd comes in handy.”
"You ever notice how like... you really wanna be around the Light?"
Barry squinted into the dark of his room, seeing the vague outline of Lup sitting at the foot of his bed. He had woken up when she opened the door. Barry rubbed his eyes and fumbled to turn on the lamp next to his bed. When light flooded the room, he could see Lup more clearly. She was still in her pajamas. Granted, Barry was also still in his pajamas seeing as it was...
"What time is it?" Barry asked, reaching for his glasses. The room got a little clearer when he slipped them on.
"Three-ish?" Lup said. "But have you noticed?"
"That the Light is like-" Lup made a motion with her hands that meant nothing to Barry. "It wants to be wanted."
"Uhm," Barry said. He pushed himself into a sitting position, thinking. God, it was too early to have to think. "Maybe?"
"Like- ugh, okay. Listen. I was trying to sleep, right? Siad good night, did all my night things and went to bed. But then I was like "hey I could just go hang out with the Light right now". So I got up to go do that. But instead, I'm here 'cus I don't know if that's a good thing to do or...?"
"Should I come to sit with you?" Barry asked, still not quite grasping the situation. Light. Lup. Something something, sitting in the lab. "I'm having trouble understanding what's going on, sorry."
"I need you to come sit with me in case the Light eats me or something," Lup said.
"I don't think it's gonna eat you, Lup," Barry said, but he pulled his covers back anyway. He yawned and rubbed his eyes again. "Why- can I ask why you want me and not Taako? Or Lucetria or someone?"
"Sometimes, being a complete nerd comes in handy," Lup said. Barry decided to take that as a compliment. "At least if it vores me or whatever-"
"I don't think that's the right word for that-"
"Then you can science something out," Lup finished.
"I wanna make some coffee first," Barry said, shuffling over to the door. Lup jumped off the bed to follow behind him. "If we're gonna do some shit with the Light, I'd at least like to blame it on caffeine."
"Oh, don't worry," Lup said. "I've already made a whole pot."
going on a walk :)
have we considered that maybe the reason Merle and Barry are such dickheads to each other in HTBG is because close proximity to lich magic or cleric magic, respectively, is like. approximately “mild headache” or “looking at something too bright” levels of magically unpleasant for them, but they don’t remember why it’s happening so they're just like. okay. i don’t know how he’s doing it but this guy’s a douche. i think i hate this guy. i’m going to start the most unnecessarily petty argument about a blood map with him
my piece for the candlenights gift exchange! @thecandlenightszone
This is for @/tepig933 on twitter, who wanted some characters interacting! hope this works B)
Bitter Water | TAZ Balance Animatic
*smacks this video onto your dashboard* It’s live! I’ve worked on this since Nov 2021 and my hands have mutinied against me. It has it all: Magnus Burnsides, the Oh Hellos, the friends you made along the way. (It is captioned also.)
Giant thanks to everyone who watched me toil with this on art streams. I hope my suffering was entertaining. Extra Special Thank You to my patrons for supporting my art over the past year <3
COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN!!
"I dunno, they don't pay me to think."
~Barry J. Bluejeans, who absolutely was hired by a scientific organization specifically to think.
[ID: A drawing of Barry Bluejeans hugging Lup Taaco from behind. Barry is a middle-aged white man with a mullet, white shirt and blue jeans. Lup is a brown elf with curly dark pigtails, and is wearing a red shirt and white skirt. They are both very happy, and Lup has a bracelet with the trans flag colours. End ID.]
here's a commission I did for @/foggybear42 on instagram ^^ barry and lup,,, they're in love your honour,,
also!! commissions are now open!!
the absolute nerve of griffin to go "you what? you don’t like the name sildar hallwinter? FINE! he’s barry bluejeans now and he’s a middle-aged dad type of guy, deal with it. fuck you" and then make him a tragic hero starring in a century long romance and overcoming death for the love of his life, a trans woman with a taste for arson? i absolutely cannot deal
finished yet another Balance relisten today, and fell in love with Lup all over again
[id: Illustration of Lup and Barry from The Adventure Zone. Lup is a dark skinned female elf in her spectral lich form, she's wearing a red robe, and her hair is bright orange, it looks like a flame, with sparks flying around it, her eyes are the same color, and there's a golden skull painted on her face. Barry is a chubby white man in glasses, wearing a black jacket, white shirt and blue jeans. in the top panel they stand next to each other, and Lup says "hear that, babe?" in the middle panel her hands catch fire, and the bottom one depicts a close-up of her face, her canines are golden, she's wearing a gold septum ring and several earrings. she smiles and says "we're legends". /end id]
Also 28. “This is why we can’t have nice things.” and Davenport? :O I couldn't choose which one lol
28. “This is why we can’t have nice things.”
"D'you think they'll notice?" Taako asked from his place perched upon Davenport's captain chair. Davenport didn't mind too much. He rarely flew the ship sitting down.
"It's fine," Davenport said. He started to slow the Starblaster down as they reached the clearing Barry, Lup, and Lucretia should be meeting them in. Taako hummed, unconvinced, and peered out the front window. Davenport stopped the ship completely in midair and pressed the button that activated the communication system.
"Are we clear to land?" he asked into the little microphone built into the control panel.
"All clear from what I can see," Magnus's voice answered back. "Go for it, Cap."
Davenport started the Starblaster's descent, slowly lowering them to the ground. Taako stood up from the captain's chair and stretched, his spine popping audibly. Davenport winced but didn't comment on it. Finally, they reached the ground with a smooth landing and there was a hiss from somewhere below them as the legs popped up to keep them steady and the entrance opened up.
"I think they're gonna notice. Barry's deffo gonna notice." Taako said. Davenport slipped off his gloves.
"I'm a master illusionist, Taako," Davenport said. "They're not gonna notice."
"Wanna bet?" Taako asked.
"None of my shoes would fit you," Davenport said as a response. Taako followed him out of the pilot room. Merle was lounging on the couch they had picked up two cycles ago. They had only gotten halfway across the room when Magnus lead Barry, Lucretia, and Lup back in. This was the moment of truth.
"And then I punched it!" Lup was saying.
"With your hand on fire??" Magnus gasped.
"With my hand on fire," Lup said. Magnus was hanging off her every word. Barry was, too. Lucretia was glancing around the room was a critical expression.
"It was more of a fist bump, actually," Barry said. "Like, you didn't really deal any damage to it-"
"Shh," Lup said. "I killed it."
"Yeah, but not by fist bumping it?"
"What happened to this room?" Lucretia interrupted. Next to him, Taako muttered, "master illusionist my ass".
"What do you mean?" Davenport asked.
"What happened to this room?" Lucretia repeated. "It's..."
"Glimmery," Barry said, scratching his chin. "Like illusion glimmery."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Davenport said. Magnus bit his knuckle to keep himself from laughing.
"No, it's deffo, uh, different," Lup said. She took out her wand. "How 'bout we just-"
She flicked her wand and the sparkly, glimmery look of the room faded. There was a hole in the wall between this room and the next room over (Barry's quarters, unfortunately). The hole was singed at the edges. Even more concerningly, there was a rather large burn on that corner of the floor as well, as well as a smaller dent in the floor from where Magnus had stomped part of the fire out.
It was best not to mention what Barry's room looked like right now.
"What the fuck?" Barry said. "We were gone for two hours!"
"It's a real funny story, actually," Magnus started, but Barry cut him off with,
"This is why we can't have nice things!" He walked over to the hole into his room. "Who- Taako?"
"Hey," Taako said. "I would never do that to you, Barold."
"Well it wasn't Magnus, I bet!" Barry said.
"I could totally destroy that wall if I wanted to!"
"Merle," Barry said. "Did you-"
"Don't look at me, kid," Merle said, kicking his feet up on the coffee table. "I ain't the one who knows how to build a fire machine or whatever."
"One," Davenport said. "Putting a flame thrower on the Fantasy Roomba was not a fire machine. Two, it wasn't even my idea. If we're gonna blame anyone, blame Lup."
"I wasn't even here!" Lup defended. "And it was an idea, not something to put into reality!" She paused for a moment. "Not without me here, at least."
"Why- why would you want to put a flame thrower on the Fantasy Roomba?" Barry said weakly.
"S'funny," Lup said with a shrug.
"It was very funny, in her defense," Taako said.
"I..." For once, Barry seemed at a loss for words. But he wasn't actively asking Davenport to clean up the mess, which was good. Taako's advice of playing to Barry's weak points (notably, saying Lup was involved at all) had worked very well. Davenport would have to remember that. Barry sighed, sounding very bone-weary. "I'm gonna go take a shower."
"I'll fix the hole!" Magnus offered.
"No!" Barry said. "No, you... you stay away from it. I'll fix the hole."
In Davenport's defense, the flame-throwing Fantasy Roomba had been hilarious for the two and a half minutes it lasted.
it’s no wonder barry dies so much on faerun, he’s trying to be a fighter with the hit point classes of a wizard and maybe rogue
(Based on this post by @questbedhead)
Full image description below cut!
Image Description: A long form comic including three pages, all set in a dingy necromancy store and illustrated in a cartoony, fully-colored and shaded style.
In the first panel, a hooded figure sits behind a desk with his back to us.
In the second panel, we see part of his face which has a big sly smile on it as he looks over his shoulder. Behind him, a door opens with the ring of a small silver bell.
In the next panel he spins around in his chair and says: “Welcome to Blood-Bath and beyond, your home for necromantic wares! Anything I can help you find--”
Next: “...Today?�� he finishes, seemingly dumbfounded. In the middle of the frame are three new people. Barry Bluejeans is in the middle, he is a white middle aged chubby man with brown and grey hair, stubble, and wearing a white shirt, brown coat and glasses. To the left is Taako, a dark skinned elf with straight choppy dark brown hair died lavender at the bottom, wearing a large purple wizards hat, a purple cape with gold stars, a frilled shirt and high-wasted pants. To the right is Lup, a dark skin elven woman with a face identical to Taako’s but with longer curly dark brown hair died red at the tips, and wearing a wine red wide-brimmed hat and wine red dress. The twins each are resting an arm on one of Barry’s shoulders, framing him.
In the next frame, Barry has a finger resting on his chin as he says “Uh... yes, I’m looking for a spell book with level 12 or higher spells.”
Next is a close-up of the shopkeeper’s eye, squinting forwards with a thought bubble that says: “Level 12?”
Next is the same close-up of the shopkeeper’s eye, only this time it is wide and looking up past Barry.
Next is a frame of just Taako and Lup, with Barry just slightly out of frame. Taako covers his hand as if to whisper something to Lup as they both look judgmentally in the direction of the shopkeeper. A speech bubble comes from offscreen as the shopkeeper says “Right away, sir.”
Starting the second page is a frame of the shopkeeper dropping a large book onto the table in front of him. The book looks to be stitched together from skin, with a large green eye-shaped jewel on the front cover and small fangs on the spine.
Next, Barry has picked up the book and is looking at it with a smile of curiosity as he says “Oh, neat!” The twins both peer over his shoulder as the shopkeeper looks at the three startled.
Next is a close up of Barry’s hand sliding a collection of very different looking coins across the table, including some golden hoops, a silver perforated coin with a dragon emblem, a pale blue coin, a canadian loonie, and a thin gold bar with line markings on it (it’s not a loss easter egg don’t worry about it)
The next panel is shot from over the shopkeeper’s shoulder. Barry excitedly shows an interested but calm Lup something in the book as Taako rolls a bunch of teeth around in one hand, bored. The shopkeeper thinks: “Who is this guy?!”
Next is a panel showing half of the shopkeeper’s face, the border of the panel cutting him off vertically as he stares forwards intently.
The next panel is exactly the same, except he has narrowed his eye, the pupil now glowing, as the words “true sight” are spelled above him
In the next panel, Barry is shot from the neck up, looking excitedly at something offscreen.
Next is the form of Barry’s red robe litch form, shot from the exact same position as the previous panel. He glows a faint red, the inside of his hood empty and black save for two glowing white eyes.
Starting the next page the shopkeeper recoils in surprise, his thought bubble reading: “A litch!” In the foreground, Barry and the twins are starting to leave, Taako dropping the coins Barry had paid for the book with into a small bag.
Next the shopkeeper lunges forwards with urgency, shouting “WAIT!”
Next, “Who are you?!” he shouts at the trio. Barry is looking over his shoulder at the shopkeeper, and Lup had put her arm over his shoulder.
Next is a very close shot of the bottom of Barry’s face, his mouth in a null position.
Next is the same close up shot of the bottom of Barry’s face, only this time he has a large sly smile on his face.
Next is a medium shot of Barry, he has a big gentle smile on his face, his eyes closed and one hand up in a polite wave as he says “Name’s Barry Bluejeans!”
In the final panel, the shopkeeper lays passed out over his desk, a small cartoon of a round ghost floating away from his body as the door in the back of the room closes. A small creature sits on his desk, eating the chocolate gelt which had been swapped out for the real coins.
End Image Description.
redraw of this is finally done! the starblaster’s fatal flaw: only one bathroom
[ID: an image of the IPRE crew in a bathroom together. lucretia is a black woman with a bonnet on and a toothbrush in her mouth leaning down next to merle to help him with a book that reads Sudoku 4 Dummies. merle is a dwarf with a light complexion holding a towel around himself with his hair up in a bun and looking puzzled at the book. next to them on the right is barry, a man with a light complexion sitting on the closed toilet with a mirror in hand shaving his face. he is wearing acid wash denim jeans and no shirt. above him, davenport stands on the counter, reading a bunch of papers/ blueprints and brushing his teeth with his tail holding the toothbrush. he is a gnome with a fair complexion and red hair wearing shorts that say Cap’n on the butt. to his left in the background, lup is leaning over the counter blow drying her hair, the droplets flying back and hitting taako who shields his face. lup is an elf with a medium complexion, freckles, and sandy blonde hair. taako, another elf with a medium complexion has dark brown cropped hair, freckles, and is holding a towel blindly out to magnus who is exiting the shower. magnus is a man with a lighter complexion, freckles, and dark hair. he is squinting as he steps out into the steamed up bathroom reaching for his towel. End ID]
ID: A short comic of Lup and Barry, an elven woman and human man respectively. Lup has curly, blonde hair and tan skin, and a slight build. Barry has pale skin, greying brown hair, a chubby build, and glasses. They are both wearing lab coats over everyday clothes. In the first image, Lup is holding a clipboard as she hums at Barry. He looks back at her with curiosity. In the second image, Lup leans forward and plants a kiss on Barry's cheek, surprising him. The third image shows Lup jotting something down on her clipboard gleefully, while remarking, "interesting!" Barry laughs as his face turns scarlet. The fourth image shows a "Barry blush meter" that measures the redness of blush intensity. There are little emoji faces that progressively get more and more intense. Besides the meter is a chibi drawing of lup and Barry holding hands. A caption below them reads, "Notes: the subject appeared to show consistent bold red hues as before." End ID.
Important research! | Based off of this very cute post
COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN!!
after the crew invents the interplanar travel belts, Barry breaks into his former lab at IPRE HQ to grab some stuff he left there, but before he heads back, he also replaces all the current occupant’s lab coats with denim ones. just to make sure everyone back home will remember him as some kind of interdimensional science cryptid who could reappear anywhere on their plane at any time without warning. it’s the best kind of prank, really!
he checks back in after a few more years, though, and the denim lab coats (jab coats, if you will) are in circulation around the building? and most scientists working there, especially those that have been around a few years, will insist to a superstitious degree that Barry haunts the building now — if a piece of magitech doesn’t work and rebooting it won’t fix it, that’s Barry! reboot it again while wearing a denim lab coat! it’s the only way to appease his vengeful spirit!
and this wasn’t how Barry thought it would go, but he wanted science urban legend status and he got science urban legend status, so he’s okay with this.
barry bluejeans <333333 lup was right. barry has my heart