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goodqueenaly · 1 year

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It’s like poetry something something but also comparing and contrasting Dontos Hollard being saved as a boy and Dontos Hollard being saved as an adult.

Dontos Hollard owes his salvation as a child not just to Ser Barristan Selmy, but specifically Barristan Selmy’s commitment to his own conception of knighthood. It was not simply that Barristan’s ironclad belief in his duty as a knight of the Kingsguard - such that he volunteered to rescue the king - prevented Tywin’s plan of razing Duskendale (perhaps with young Dontos Hollard inside, if he had been there). With the boy Dontos, Ser Barristan demonstrated his belief in an even more fundamental knightly charge than that of his Kingsguard vows - that is, to “defend the young and innocent”, as Lyonel Baratheon commanded of young Raymun Fossoway at the time of the latter’s knighting (a core virtue for Barristan, as evidenced by his later horror at the murders of Rhaegar’s children and the suggestion of killing the Meereenese child hostages). Dontos Hollard the child would presumably have meant nothing to Barristan; indeed, as the nephew of Ser Symon Hollard, who had slain Ser Gwayne Gaunt of the Kingsguard during the Defiance, Dontos might have appeared to Barristan as the heir of that past wrong, and so a fitting outlet for vengeance (just as Barristan had himself slain Symon, thus avenging his sworn brother). Yet Barristan called for Dontos to be spared anyway; Dontos’ identity as an innocent child appears to have mattered to Barristan far more than his so recently traitorous (and for Barristan, personally antagonistic) familial connections.

Of course, Barristan did not go quite so far as to challenge the order of a king now consumed by paranoia and a mania for violence. Rather, Ser Barristan couched his obedience to his chivalric charge in similarly knightly terms - begging young Dontos’ life as a “boon” which a grateful king could grant to this sterling knight who had done him such a service (compare, say, the would-be king Renly’s ceremonial grant of a boon to the melee champion Brienne, or the would-be king Joffrey’s likewise formal offer of a boon to the the knightly Tyrell sons after “[t]he roses [had] support[ed] the lion” at the Blackwater). In this moment completely devoid of chivalric courtesy - the ruthless, near absolute destruction and damnatio memoriae of two noble dynasties in the aftermath of a hostage crisis and siege - Dontos’ one hope rested with the promise of knighthood. Handed back his life as a knight’s boon, Dontos was allowed to journey to King’s Landing to serve as a squire, with the promise of a knighthood of his own one day. If there could never be (certainly not under Aerys II) a return of House Hollard to its pre-Defiance standing, Dontos’ knighthood might at least have restored some sense of personal dynastic honor; Dontos could, so it might have been presumed, live out his life as the sort of deposed but genteel knight Jaime imagines Edmure becoming in AFFC. Knighthood, in other words, both immediate and promised, comes to the rescue for the boy Dontos Hollard.

As an adult, Dontos Hollard finds himself again needing rescue from the murderous whims of a violent, sadistic king - but his salvation comes in a form far different from that he had experienced as a child. Summoned to the lists for Joffrey’s namely tourney - if no grand event, at least ostensibly more peaceful and chivalric than the Defiance of Duskendale - Ser Dontos appears as a foolish, indeed obscene drunk; only his horse maintains any sort aristocratic dignity, its “swirl of crimson and scarlet silks” denoting the barry gules and rose of House Hollard’s sigil, as Dontos himself stumbles half-naked around the yard. The promise of knighthood as his childhood salvation has soured badly: Ser Dontos may have the formal title of knight, but in his utter failure to make even the barest showing at that core knightly sport, the joust (and against a freerider, of the lowest class of knight often scorned by blue-blooded Westerosi chivalry), Dontos has hardly demonstrated himself a knight in practice.

Yet Dontos is saved from the king’s command for his death - not by a knight, but by a facially un-knightly expression of true knighthood. Indeed, there is something of a role reversal here from Duskendale, where Ser Dontos the knight (roughly about the age Barristan once at the time of the Defiance) owes his rescue to a child - not only one roughly about the age Dontos was at the destruction of the Darklyns and Hollards, but one who had herself so recently experienced the cruel extermination of her father and the Stark household, leaving her, like young Dontos, a child of a traitor dynasty (at least in the eyes of the crown) alone in the capital. Yet if Sansa is herself no knight, she nevertheless reveres the mystique of knighthood, understanding the role of a true knight as one who is (so she will think later) “sworn to defend the weak … and fight for the right”. Seeing a man who “was drunk and silly and useless, but … meant no harm” - that is, one of those “weak” whom knights were sworn to protect - Sansa takes the (considerable!) risk of arguing for his life to Joffrey, just as Barristan Selmy had done to Aerys in begging for the life of young Dontos. Just as Dontos had personally meant nothing to Barristan during the Defiance, so Dontos means nothing personally to Sansa here (his involvement in Littlefinger’s scheme to spirit her from the capital not yet begun); Sansa calls for his life simply because it is not right that a weak and innocent man should be murdered at the king’s whim, an expression (albeit unconscious on her part) of that core knightly responsibility.

Naturally, Sansa cannot rely, as Barristan did, on any sense of royal gratitude to save Dontos; where Aerys II could not refuse his so recent rescuer when the latter asked for a boon, Joffrey is as of this tourney regularly abusing Sansa, even threatening here to drown her for merely suggesting Dontos’ life should be spared. Instead, it is Sandor Clegane who provides the justification, corroborating Sansa’s clumsy warning of ill fortune to convince Joffrey against murdering a man on his birthday. Sandor Clegane, perhaps more than any other character in the series, specifically reviles and disdains the formal conception of knighthood - yet here, draped in a white cloak in a bitter parody of Barristan Selmy (as Sandor himself had replaced that virtual epitome of the Kingsguard), Sandor laconically (and, to be sure, indirectly) fulfills that knightly charge of defending the weak. Sansa then seizes on Joffrey’s temporary stay of execution to transform Dontos into a royal fool; where Barristan’s plea for Dontos’ life had set the latter on the path of royal squire and eventually knight, Sansa’s suggestion strips Dontos of any future knightly dignity, but in a way which would (so she might have presumed) save his life long-term (as indeed, a fool’s very position allows him some sense of license, preserving the fool from retaliation by the people he taunts). Once, one of the the most (publicly) admired knights of the Kingsguard (themselves supposed to be “the finest swords in all the realm”) had used his knightly position to save the life of the young Dontos and given him the promise of knighthood for his future; now, a young girl and a man who had vehemently rejected knighthood save the adult Dontos through the elimination of his knightly identity.

#asoiaf meta #acok #dontos hollard #sansa stark #barristan selmy #sandor clegane #knighthood

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melrosing · 1 year

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MBO Robert's Rebellion: Episode 6

we are over halfway!! (through season 1)

in this one... barristan selmy really ruins everything for everyone and Aerys endures a tragic backstory that kind of comes too late because he was already a piece of shit. also, dontos hollard origin story!!!

Prev: Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5

Next: Episode 7

title for this one: Denys Darklyn Finds Out

We open in the Darklyn dungeon. Aerys sits chained to the wall, looking like shit. When the gaoler arrives to give Aerys a bowl of gruel or whatever, the squire Robin Hollard runs in after him to laugh at the king and pull his beard. When they eventually leave him in darkness, Aerys weeps :(

Opening creds :)

Back in King’s Landing: the King’s small council. How do we get Aerys out of this one? They talk through various eventualities, and in the worst case scenario it’s noted that should Aerys be killed, Rhaegar is ready to step up. Tywin’s face twists as he struggles to push this thought away

Rhaella, pregnant still, taking a walk with her ladies in the garden of the Red Keep. One of the ladies tells a simple joke, and it makes Rhaella laugh - abruptly, she seems stunned by her own laughter. Rhaella laughs harder, but it seems to be for genuine pleasure - she forgot what this was like

Time skip!!! Of approx. six months. Back to Aerys in the dungeon - we can tell time has passed because his beard has grown LONG and he looks like a sad wizard. The same kid as before comes in to give him a kick, but Aerys hardly retaliates - he’s weak, and seems close to giving up

UPSTAIRS: Denys Darklyn! He notes the ongoing siege outside, but offers his men encouragement - they have stocks enough to last them years, so the siegers (is that a word) best make themselves comfortable. The men are heartened. His wife Serala, sitting nearby, is sceptical: if they kill the king, they’ve written their own death warrants, she says - but if they were to free him, does Denys assume Aerys would ever forgive him? Denys looks mad at having been undermined, and his men look equally so at having had to listen to a truth they don’t wish to hear - from a woman, no less

Tywin approaches Duskendale, on his way to oversee the siege. Six months is too long, and Denys has refused his final demand to surrender the King. Tywin means to end this and storm Duskendale, but of course that risks Aerys' life - it's not a tidy solution. Riding with Tywin is Barristan Selmy: he has a Cunning Plan. What if he dresses up as a poor person and sneaks in? Everyone agrees it sounds stupid but what use is a kingsguard without his king? May as well lol

Barristan Selmy doing his thing: sneaking behind walls, quietly strangling men who get in his way, etc. real shit. Eventually he makes it to Aerys who is THRILLED to see him… but when Barristan looks at this man, shrivelled and pathetic, he can hardly remember why he risked his life for him. For a moment Barristan just stands there, staring mournfully, till finally going to the king to free him

Breaking out of Duskendale. Duskendale soldiers have discovered Barry and Aerys and surround them, but Barry’s laying on the Epic Moves - they’re getting out of there. Once they’re finally through, Barry takes Aerys to Tywin… who looks down at this wormy king with the most disgusted look on his face :\ Aerys sees it and hates him for it

Denys Darklyn watching from the window as the king’s men storm Duskendale - he gradually realises that somehow, they’ve lost the king. Eventually, the men make it to Denys, and take him; they take Serala, too

In the courtyard at Duskendale, where Aerys was first taken last episode. Guy has every member of house Darklyn and house Hollard assembled before him, and he is going NUTS. Everyone gets a gruesome death sentence!! the worst kind of oprah. Barristan at the sidelines, looks sicker and sicker with every verdict. When they finally reach the young Dontos Hollard, he’s driven to speak - he asks Aerys to spare the boy, and Aerys, grudgingly, does

Finally, there is only Serala of Myr. Aerys wonders aloud who she is, one of his soldiers informs him that the men of Duskendale consider her to be the woman who led Darklyn astray to begin with: he’s not been the same since he married her, they reckon. Really, this is all her fault. Aerys promises there are special punishments for such women

Later in the courtyard - most others have left, but Aerys stays, watching a pyre. He smiles - it’s doing something for him. Upon the bones of the body that burns, we see Serala’s Myrish jewellery, blackened

The following day, back in King’s Landing. Rhaella receives a missive, stating that Aerys is rescued, well, and on the Rosby road - due for return any day now. Rhaella forgets to breathe a moment, and then keels over

Aerys arrives in King’s Landing, and is directly informed that the Queen is in labour. Rushing through the Keep with Aerys, we arrive just in time to see Rhaella delivered of a baby boy. Aerys hooting in delight as the baby is placed promptly in his arms; on Rhaella, bone tired and painfully resigned - her brother is home

#asoiaf #sparknotes robert's rebellion

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high-fantasy-sw · 1 month

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Heroforge: Jedi (Part One)

I'm back- with JEDI! Well, actually, only about half of them. I still need to make a few (like Kit Fisto, Quinlan, Barris, Jocasta Nu, etc; they're going to be in another post). But I think you'll enjoy who I have so far!

Also. I forgot to do honorifics for the Clones, because this is a fantasy world, and everyone has honorifics. Mea culpa, I'll edit that post as soon as I'm done with this one, so you can go check that out if you want.

Tagging: @whyoneartheven @anime-obsessed @majorproblems77

Sir Anakin Skywalker, the Valiant. His lightsaber is a dark-blue greatsword, with the Kyber Crystal embedded in the pommel. I chose it to represent the facts that his attacks are very aggressive but leave room for little defense- as it's a two-handed weapon, he has to defend by using offensive measures. (Also, it's a double-edged blade. *coughs in foreshadowing*.) In addition- his prosthetic arm is an enchanted golden gauntlet, to reference Clone Wars (2003), because I am a sucker for Clone Wars (2003) as much as I am a sucker for The Clone Wars (2008).

Sir Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Noble (alternatively: the Silver-Tongued). Okay, shut up for a second and let me nerd about his lightsaber. You may notice that he fights with a sword-and-shield combo. This is to reference his mastery of Soresu, a defense-heavy form of lightsaber combat. His crossguard- in which is embedded his light-blue kyber crystal- and his shield shape also reference the Jedi Crest. (And his hair is dark red because I said so, that's why.)

Squire Ahsoka Tano (later to be granted the honorary title of Lady Ahsoka the Perseverant). SHE'S FINALLY DONE! As you can see, she's differed slightly from her original concept (which I will link here)- her headscarf is now blue, and she has a different skirt (which I realize you can't see in the original picture, but I assure you, it was different), which I changed to match the simpler tastes of the Jedi (sidenote: as you will see, Jedi do have a loose habit, or the uniform dress of a monastic order, but padawans are allowed to be a bit more liberal with their clothing because they are not fully professed members of the order yet). For lightsabers, she wields two Togrutan daggers with the kyber crystals embedded in the pommels, just like Anakin :) Since she dual-wields, I thought it would be more practical for them to be shortblades, so she doesn't accidentally slice herself; her fighting style is still highly acrobatic, just like in canon. ALSO! Her facial markings! I mentioned in the original sneak peek that I'd be writing lore on the different races, because most of them are just different human cultures in this AU, so I'll expand on those now! Togruta have a rich tradition of facial painting (and later tattooing, when a child comes of age) and each Togruta wears a unique pattern that blends elements of the markings of their family. Since Ahsoka is a Temple Youngling and thus doesn't remember her family's markings, she made her own based on the family she found in the Jedi Order. Her markings on Heroforge don't exactly match up to her canon markings but this explanation would work in either universe: her cheek markings represent Plo Koon and resemble the horns on his helmet; her forehead markings resemble Anakin's lightsaber, because he taught her to stand up and fight for herself and others; and her eyeliner markings represent Obi-Wan and how he taught her to be observant to the Force and to always look with empathy towards others.

Archprior Yoda, the Wise. Sci-Fi creatures are actually quite easy to adapt into fantasy creatures- I just gave him hooves, horns, and a tail. The most intersting thing I want to point out is that he wields a fencing rapier as his lightsaber (you can't see it in these pictures, but his kyber crystal is in the pommel)- and, as you'll see when I post his pictures, so does his apprentice Dooku. Yoda's habit also has some additional accents, to denote his status as Archprior.

Sir Mace Windu, the Eternally Stressed Just. Mace might just be my favorite redesign, because LOOK AT HIS ARMOR! It's all tinged purple, and his pauldrons and gauntlets are lionesque, referencing his creation and mastery of Vaapad. Additionally, and I know you can't really see it from these angles but trust me on this one, he wields an executioner's sword. These have a blunted end as they were not supposed to be used in combat, and Mace wields one to represent his statues as an arbiter of justice >:) This means he has to be extremely skilled with it to make it work effectively. His kyber crystal seems to be embedded in the pommel, but in actuality it runs all the way up the blade. This was for no particular reason, I just thought it looked cool.

Sir Plo Koon, the Compassionate. His helmet is meant to reference his canon counterpart's head silhouette, and these helmets are a mark of pride for the Kel Dor- they're passed down through the paternal line and can be thousands of generations old. So, not exactly like Children of the Watch Mandos- they're not forbidden to remove their helmets, but they rarely do, to show pride in their lineage. Also, Plo wears a Wolfpack pauldron and a wolf fur cape, because he is a proud father :) His lightsaber has its kyber crystals embedded in its hand-guard and the base of the blade.

Sir Ki-Adi-Mundi, the Insightful. Much like the Kel Dor, the Cereans have familial helmets, but they aren't necessarily heirlooms, and they're matrilineal- each Cerean will make his or her own unique helmet against the pattern of his or her mother. (Kel Dor, Cereans, and Togruta are all fiercely tribal- it's speculated they share a common ancestor culture.) He wields a dark blue cutlass, that burns light blue, with its kyber crystal in the pommel.

Lady Shaak Ti, the Merciful. Like all fully-fledged adult Togruta, her facial markings are tattooed, and she wears a horned headdress over her headscarf. In addition, she wears a cape (to mimic her much longer, adult lekku). Her skirt features the same braided detailing as the braid on her headscarf, and she wields an aquamarine-colored scimitar, with the kyber crystal in the crossguard.

Lady Aayla Secura, the Forthright. She wields a violet-blue shortsword, with the kyber crystal making up the pommel. She also wears the traditional Twi'lek kerchief. (I'm sorry there's not much to say about her, I haven't deeply explored the Twi'lek culture in this AU yet. I'll have more probably when I do my Rebels set.)

Lady Luminara Unduli, the Honorable. She wields a seafoam-green blade with the kyber crystal in the crossguard. Unlike Togruta markings, Mirialan markings are completely personal and need not bear any resemblance to one's family's markings. They are, however, still tattooed. The front panel of her skirt also boasts a traditional Mirialan pattern, in the same metallic colors as the metal of her Mirialan gauntlets. (I think now is a good time to mention that, as you may have seen, while there is a habit enforced for the order, individual Jedi are allowed- and in fact, encouraged- to also import features of their traditional dress into the habit. So while they all wear similar clothes, the colors, skirts, shoes, and armor/jewelry/facial markings are unique from Jedi to Jedi.)

Bonus: The Disaster Duos (I would have made a singular one with all three of them, but Heroforge is stupid and won't let me do that >:( )

I hope you enjoyed! Questions and comments are always welcome, and I'd love to hear them! They really help with characterization and worldbuilding, but more importantly, it makes me so happy to know you enjoyed! Next week, I'll probably have the Villains to post. I'm looking forward to it!

#prequels #tcw #heroforge #jedi #once again i'd love to know who's canonically your favorite and who your favorite design is!#this is probably clear but my favorite canonically is obi-wan; and as stated mace has my favorite redesign :)

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istumpysk · 1 year

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Operation Stumpy Re-Read

ADWD: The Discarded Knight (Barristan II) [Chapter 59]

And the award for biggest piss baby chapter header goes to ...

All kneel for His Magnificence Hizdahr zo Loraq, Fourteenth of That Noble Name, King of Meereen, Scion of Ghis, Octarch of the Old Empire, Master of the Skahazadhan, Consort to Dragons and Blood of the Harpy," roared the herald.

Damn, his silly titles are way cooler.

Step it up, Daenerys.

+.+.+

Ser Barristan Selmy slipped a hand beneath the fold of his cloak and loosened his sword in its scabbard. No blades were allowed in the presence of the king save those of his protectors. It seemed as though he still counted amongst that number despite his dismissal. No one had tried to take his sword, at least.

In case you missed the last chapter, Barristan hates Hizdahr zo Loraq and refuses to acknowledge him as his king, but he's also offended Hizdahr isn't using him as a personal guard.

Barristan Selmy, ladies and gentlemen.

+.+.+

Daenerys Targaryen had preferred to hold court from a bench of polished ebony

Sorry, quick clarification -

He's referring to those rare times when she actually held court.

+.+.+

Daenerys Targaryen had preferred to hold court from a bench of polished ebony, smooth and simple, covered with the cushions that Ser Barristan had found to make her more comfortable. King Hizdahr had replaced the bench with two imposing thrones of gilded wood, their tall backs carved into the shape of dragons. The king seated himself in the right-hand throne with a golden crown upon his head and a jeweled sceptre in one pale hand. The second throne remained vacant.

The important throne, thought Ser Barristan. No dragon chair can replace a dragon no matter how elaborately it's carved.

Love when people look for any reason to be upset. Dragon thrones seem like a pretty clear indicator of who's in charge.

Pretty sure Hizdahr would love for Daenerys to be sitting in that seat right now, Barry.

+.+.+

The day was young and fresh, and yet he felt bone-tired, as if he'd fought all night. The older he got, the less sleep Ser Barristan seemed to need. As a squire he could sleep ten hours a night and still be yawning when he stumbled out onto the practice yard. At three-and-sixty he found that five hours a night was more than enough.

Makes sense, the effects of sleep deprivation on cognitive ability are well-documented.

+.+.+

On a bedside table he kept a beeswax candle and a small carving of the Warrior. Though he was not a pious man, the carving made him feel less alone here in this queer alien city, and it was to that he had turned in the black watches of night. Shield me from these doubts that gnaw at me, he had prayed, and give me the strength to do what is right. But neither prayer nor dawn had brought him certainty.

If you're plagued by uncertainty and doubt, maybe sit this one out.

+.+.+

In the Shavepate's place stood a fat man in a muscled breastplate and lion's mask, his heavy legs poking out beneath a skirt of leather straps: Marghaz zo Loraq, the king's cousin, new commander of the Brazen Beasts. Selmy had already formed a healthy contempt for the man. He had known his sort in King's Landing—fawning to his superiors, harsh to his inferiors, as blind as he was boastful and too proud by half.

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

LMAO.

+.+.+

Skahaz could be in the hall as well, Selmy realized, that ugly face of his concealed behind a mask. Two score Brazen Beasts stood between the pillars, torchlight shining off the polished brass of their masks. The Shavepate could be any one of them.

How many times will George allude to this?

+.+.+

One woman began to wail about a brother who had died at Daznak's Pit, another of the damage to her palanquin. A fat man tore off his bandages to show the court his burned arm, where the flesh was still raw and oozing. And when a man in a blue-and-gold tokar began to speak of Harghaz the Hero, a freedman behind him shoved him to the floor. It took six Brazen Beasts to pull them apart and drag them from the hall.

It's not every day a freedman gets painted in a bad light.

+.+.+

Fox, hawk, seal, locust, lion, toad. Selmy wondered if the masks had meaning to the men who wore them.

That depends, is it a cat mask? A rat? A wolf? That would have meaning.

+.+.+

Did the same men wear the same masks every day, or did they choose new faces every morning?

She changes it every few weeks.

+.+.+

"Is it true?" a freedwoman shouted. "Is our mother dead?"

"No, no, no," Reznak screeched. "Queen Daenerys will return to Meereen in her own time in all her might and majesty. Until such time, His Worship King Hizdahr shall—"

"He is no king of mine," a freedman yelled.

Men began to shove at one another. "The queen is not dead," the seneschal proclaimed. "Her bloodriders have been dispatched across the Skahazadhan to find Her Grace and return her to her loving lord and loyal subjects. Each has ten picked riders, and each man has three swift horses, so they may travel fast and far. Queen Daenerys shall be found."

[...]

Ser Barristan let Reznak's oily words wash over him. His years in the Kingsguard had taught him the trick of listening without hearing, especially useful when the speaker was intent on proving that words were truly wind.

What the hell? What did he even do? He said nothing wrong!

#JusticeForReznak

His years in the Kingsguard had taught him the trick of listening without hearing

Boy, you aren't kidding.

+.+.+

Prince Quentyn was listening intently, at least. That one is his father's son. Short and stocky, plain-faced, he seemed a decent lad, sober, sensible, dutiful … but not the sort to make a young girl's heart beat faster. And Daenerys Targaryen, whatever else she might be, was still a young girl, as she herself would claim when it pleased her to play the innocent. Like all good queens she put her people first—else she would never have wed Hizdahr zo Loraq—but the girl in her still yearned for poetry, passion, and laughter. She wants fire, and Dorne sent her mud.

It's hysterical how little credit he's giving Daenerys here. The people come first, unless it's a hot boy.

And Daenerys Targaryen, whatever else she might be, was still a young girl, as she herself would claim when it pleased her to play the innocent.

Glad he's picked up on that. Not that it will change anything.

+.+.+

You could make a poultice out of mud to cool a fever. You could plant seeds in mud and grow a crop to feed your children. Mud would nourish you, where fire would only consume you, but fools and children and young girls would choose fire every time.

In her case, literally.

The flames writhed before her like the women who had danced at her wedding, whirling and singing and spinning their yellow and orange and crimson veils, fearsome to behold, yet lovely, so lovely, alive with heat. Dany opened her arms to them, her skin flushed and glowing. This is a wedding, too, she thought. - Daenerys X, AGOT

Daenerys plants no seeds in mud.

+.+.+

Behind the prince, Ser Gerris Drinkwater was whispering something to Yronwood. Ser Gerris was all his prince was not: tall and lean and comely, with a swordsman's grace and a courtier's wit. Selmy did not doubt that many a Dornish maiden had run her fingers through that sun-streaked hair and kissed that teasing smile off his lips. If this one had been the prince, things might have gone elsewise, he could not help but think … but there was something a bit too pleasant about Drinkwater for his taste. False coin, the old knight thought. He had known such men before.

Gerris is confident, I don't remember him being false. Does something come of this?

Again, this could not be more insulting to Daenerys. I love it.

+.+.+

Whatever he was whispering must have been amusing, for his big bald friend gave a sudden snort of laughter, loud enough so that the king himself turned his head toward the Dornishmen. When he saw the prince, Hizdahr zo Loraq frowned.

Ser Barristan did not like that frown. And when the king beckoned his cousin Marghaz closer, leaned down, and whispered in his ear, he liked that even less.

Providing context for later.

+.+.+

Martell was dancing in a vipers' nest, and he did not even see the snakes. His continued presence, even after Daenerys had given herself to another before the eyes of gods and men, would provoke any husband, and Quentyn no longer had the queen to shield him from Hizdahr's wroth.

I'm going to agree with Barry on this one. There's no reason for Quentyn to still be hanging around, and pursuing Daenerys. It's disrespectful to say the least.

With that being said, I've yet to see any evidence of Hizdahr being a wrathful man.

+.+.+

Although …

The thought hit him like a slap across the face. Quentyn had grown up amongst the courts of Dorne. Plots and poisons were no strangers to him. Nor was Prince Lewyn his only uncle. He is kin to the Red Viper. Daenerys had taken another for her consort, but if Hizdahr died, she would be free to wed again. Could the Shavepate have been wrong? Who can say that the locusts were meant for Daenerys? It was the king's own box. What if he was meant to be the victim all along? Hizdahr's death would have smashed the fragile peace. The Sons of the Harpy would have resumed their murders, the Yunkishmen their war. Daenerys might have had no better choice than Quentyn and his marriage pact.

And they say Victarion is the dumbest point of view character. Quentyn doesn't have a single friend in Meereen, how could he achieve any of this?

Anyway, he did manage to consider a strong possibility: Hizdahr was the Shavepate's target.

Hizdahr's death would have smashed the fragile peace. The Sons of the Harpy would have resumed their murders, the Yunkishmen their war.

Great point, Barry.

Quick question, what happens if he's arrested?

+.+.+

The Yunkishmen had come. Three Wise Masters led the procession from the Yellow City, each with his own armed retinue. One slaver wore a tokar of maroon silk fringed with gold, one a striped tokar of teal and orange, the third an ornate breastplate inlaid with erotic scenes done in jet and jade and mother-of-pearl. The sellsword captain Bloodbeard accompanied them with a leathern sack slung across one massive shoulder and a look of mirth and murder on his face.

No Tattered Prince, Selmy noted. No Brown Ben Plumm. Ser Barristan eyed Bloodbeard coolly. Give me half a reason to dance with you, and we will see who is laughing at the end.

Reznak mo Reznak wormed his way forward. "Wise Masters, you honor us. His Radiance King Hizdahr bids welcome to his friends from Yunkai. We understand—"

+.+.+

"Understand this." Bloodbeard pulled a severed head from his sack and flung it at the seneschal.

[...]

Gingerly, so gingerly, the seneschal approached the head, lifted it delicately by the hair. "Admiral Groleo."

I'm sorry, can we take a second to go over this man's story?

Captain Groleo is tasked with bringing Daenerys back to Pentos.

Instead, she renames all his ships to Targaryen dragons, and commands him to take her to Slaver's Bay, so she may buy a slave army.

Daenerys realizes she can't take Meereen without siege engines. She orders his ships destroyed for wood.

Groleo is then named admiral by Daenerys, but doesn't actually have a fleet, making it an empty title.

After the peace deal, he's handed over to the Yunkish commanders as a hostage.

Finally, he's beheaded because of Drogon.

Wow.

+.+.+

Ser Barristan glanced toward the throne. He had served so many kings, he could not help but imagine how they might have reacted to this provocation. Aerys would have flinched away in horror, likely cutting himself on the barbs of the Iron Throne, then shrieked at his swordsmen to cut the Yunkishmen to pieces. Robert would have shouted for his hammer to repay Bloodbeard in kind. Even Jaehaerys, reckoned weak by many, would have ordered the arrest of Bloodbeard and the Yunkish slavers.

If that's what two Targs and Robert Baratheon would have done, then surely there's a better option.

Can you see Bran doing any of the above? Keep in mind the Jaehaerys option instantly triggers war.

+.+.+

Hizdahr sat frozen, a man transfixed. Reznak set the head on a satin pillow at the king's feet, then scampered away, his mouth twisted up in a moue of distaste. Ser Barristan could smell the seneschal's heavy floral perfume from several yards away.

You're not fooling anyone, George.

Can't wait for the honourable Barristan Selmy to be happily standing next to Daenerys when she kills this poor man.

+.+.+

"This," King Hizdahr said at last, "this is not … we are not pleased, this … what is the meaning of this … this …"

Use your big boy king words, please.

+.+.+

The slaver in the maroon tokar produced a parchment. "I have the honor to bear this message from the council of masters." He unrolled the scroll. "It is here written, 'Seven entered Meereen to sign the peace accords and witness the celebratory games at the Pit of Daznak. As surety for their safety, seven hostages were tendered us. The Yellow City mourns its noble son Yurkhaz zo Yunzak, who perished cruelly whilst a guest of Meereen. Blood must pay for blood.'"

Groleo had a wife back in Pentos. Children, grandchildren. Why him, of all the hostages? Jhogo, Hero, and Daario Naharis all commanded fighting men, but Groleo had been an admiral without a fleet. Did they draw straws, or did they think Groleo the least valuable to us, the least likely to provoke reprisal? the knight asked himself … but it was easier to pose that question than to answer it. I have no skill at unraveling such knots.

I'm inclined to believe this. I can't find the quotes now, but it's been made clear Yunkai has no desire to test the dragons, regardless of all their threats of war.

I have no skill at unraveling such knots.

We can tell.

+.+.+

"Your Grace," Ser Barristan called out. "If it please you to recall, the noble Yurkhaz died by happenstance. He stumbled on the steps as he tried to flee the dragon and was crushed beneath the feet of his own slaves and companions. That, or his heart burst in terror. He was old."

Fair point.

Edit: I didn’t even notice he said grace again. Twat.

Thank you, @kadarakey!

+.+.+

Hizdahr zo Loraq could not seem to look away from the head. Only when Reznak whispered something in his ear did he finally bestir himself.

Is the newly developed sadist getting off on it or something?

+.+.+

"Yurkhaz zo Yunzak was your supreme commander," he said. "Which of you speaks for Yunkai now?"

"All of us," said the rabbit. "The council of masters."

King Hizdahr found some steel. "Then all of you bear the responsibility for this breach of our peace."

The Yunkishman in the breastplate gave answer. "Our peace has not been breached. Blood pays for blood, a life for a life. To show our good faith, we return three of your hostages." The iron ranks behind him parted. Three Meereenese were ushered forward, clutching at their tokars—two women and a man.

"Sister," said Hizdahr zo Loraq, stiffly. "Cousins."

Without more information, it's hard to say why they've chosen to return Hizdahr's family. Maybe they're avoiding further provocation. Maybe they're buying him off. Maybe they'd like him to look terrible. Maybe the author is baiting the reader, and making it seem like Hizdahr's in on the plot.

+.+.+

Reznak mo Reznak cleared his throat noisily. "Meaning no offense, yet it seems to me that Her Worship Queen Daenerys gave you … ah … seven hostages. The other three …"

"The others shall remain our guests," announced the Yunkish lord in the breastplate, "until the dragons have been destroyed."

Reznak's even speaking up for the other hostages!

+.+.+

A hush fell across the hall. Then came the murmurs and the mutters, whispered curses, whispered prayers, the hornets stirring in their hive. "The dragons …" said King Hizdahr.

"… are monsters, as all men saw in Daznak's Pit. No true peace is possible whilst they live."

Accurate.

+.+.+

Reznak replied. "Her Magnificence Queen Daenerys is Mother of Dragons. Only she can—"

Reznak, who rightfully hates the dragons, is objecting to them being killed without Daenerys agreeing.

#JusticeForReznak

+.+.+

Hizdahr zo Loraq rose slowly from his dragon throne. "I must consult my council. This court is done."

I'm okay with this decision.

+.+.+

"Prince Quentyn," Selmy called. "Might I beg a word?"

Quentyn Martell turned. "Ser Barristan. Of course. My chambers are one level down."

No. "It is not my place to counsel you, Prince Quentyn … but if I were you, I would not return to my chambers. You and your friends should go down the steps and leave."

[...]

"Swords can be replaced," said Ser Barristan. "I can provide you with coin enough for passage back to Dorne. Prince Quentyn, the king made note of you today. He frowned."

This is a -little- dramatic.

We've gone from Barristan believing Hizdahr is weak to Barristan believing Hizdahr is plotting to kill Quentyn in roughly 10 seconds.

+.+.+

Gerris Drinkwater laughed. "Should we be frightened of Hizdahr zo Loraq? You saw him just now. He quailed before the Yunkishmen. They sent him a head, and he did nothing."

Quentyn Martell nodded in agreement. "A prince does well to think before he acts. This king … I do not know what to think of him. The queen warned me against him as well, true, but …"

That can't possibly be the son of Doran Martell saying this.

Hizdahr elected to do exactly what Doran Martell would have done. Think it over.

+.+.+

"She warned you?" Selmy frowned. "Why are you still here?"

Prince Quentyn flushed. "The marriage pact—"

I feel for him, but this is beyond pathetic.

Go home, Quentyn. It's not your failure.

+.+.+

"—was made by two dead men and contained not a word about the queen or you. It promised your sister's hand to the queen's brother, another dead man. It has no force. Until you turned up here, Her Grace was ignorant of its existence. Your father keeps his secrets well, Prince Quentyn. Too well, I fear. If the queen had known of this pact in Qarth, she might never have turned aside for Slaver's Bay, but you came too late. I have no wish to salt your wounds, but Her Grace has a new husband and an old paramour, and seems to prefer the both of them to you."

Anger flashed in the prince's dark eyes. "This Ghiscari lordling is no fit consort for the queen of the Seven Kingdoms."

I don't disagree, but he's one to talk. Ask his sister how King Quentyn sounds.

Your father keeps his secrets well, Prince Quentyn. Too well, I fear.

I mean, yeah.

+.+.+

The shock was plain on Prince Quentyn's face. "Poison … meant for Daenerys?"

"Her or Hizdahr. Perhaps both. The box was his, though. His Grace made all the arrangements. If the poison was his doing … well, he will need a scapegoat. Who better than a rival from a distant land who has no friends at this court? Who better than a suitor the queen spurned?"

Quentyn Martell went pale. "Me? I would never … you cannot think I had any part in any …"

That was the truth, or he is a master mummer. "Others might," said Ser Barristan. "The Red Viper was your uncle. And you have good reason to want King Hizdahr dead."

Is that what poisoners do? Frame people? Imbecile.

Absolutely incredible this muffin isn't able to apply that same spurned suitor logic to another candidate.

Hizdahr zo Loraq might be worth a careful look. Sooner him than Skahaz. The Shavepate had offered to set aside his wife for her, but the notion made her shudder. Hizdahr at least knew how to smile. - Daenerys I, ADWD

If I wed Hizdahr, will that turn Skahaz against me? She trusted Skahaz more than she trusted Hizdahr, but the Shavepate would be a disaster as a king. He was too quick to anger, too slow to forgive. She saw no gain in wedding a man as hated as herself. Hizdahr was well respected, so far as she could see. - Daenerys IV, ADWD

At least he knows Quentyn's telling the truth. How low can this bar go.

+.+.+

"So do others," suggested Gerris Drinkwater. "Naharis, for one. The queen's …"

"… paramour," Ser Barristan finished, before the Dornish knight could say anything that might besmirch the queen's honor. "That is what you call them down in Dorne, is it not?" He did not wait for a reply. "Prince Lewyn was my Sworn Brother. In those days there were few secrets amongst the Kingsguard. I know he kept a paramour. He did not feel there was any shame in that."

Look at him bend himself into a pretzel trying to justify the queen's open love affair with a homicidal sellsword.

Is there any shame in Daenerys producing an heir we don't know Hizdahr fathered, Barry?

+.+.+

"Daario would kill Hizdahr in a heartbeat if he dared," Ser Barristan went on. "But not with poison. Never. And Daario was not there in any case. Hizdahr would be pleased to blame him for the locusts, all the same … but the king may yet have need of the Stormcrows, and he will lose them if he appears complicit in the death of their captain. No, my prince. If His Grace needs a poisoner, he will look to you." He had said all that he could safely say. In a few more days, if the gods smiled on them, Hizdahr zo Loraq would no longer rule Meereen … but no good would be served by having Prince Quentyn caught up in the bloodbath that was coming.

Do you understand that means war, you fucking muppet?

The man constantly asks himself what Daenerys would want ...

The Shavepate was not wrong. Daenerys would want her children protected. - The Queensguard, ADWD

What would Daenerys want? he asked himself. He thought he knew. - The Discarded Knight, ADWD

Was he doing what Daenerys would have wanted? I was not made for this. - The Queen's Hand, ADWD

yet every action he takes further erodes her peace deal.

I want no war with Yunkai. How many times must I say it? - Daenerys VI, ADWD

+.+.+

"What name do you think they will give me, should I return to Dorne without Daenerys?" Prince Quentyn asked. "Quentyn the Cautious? Quentyn the Craven? Quentyn the Quail?"

The Prince Who Came Too Late, the old knight thought … but if a knight of the Kingsguard learns nothing else, he learns to guard his tongue. "Quentyn the Wise," he suggested. And hoped that it was true.

Final thoughts:

The only ending I will accept is him watching her bleed out, immediately followed by the least knightly death possible.

-> return to menu <-

#operation stumpy re-read #adwd #the discarded knight #barristan ii

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allthecanadianpolitics · 10 months

Text

The Manitoba government is providing more than $890,000 through the Accessibility Fund to support 42 projects across the province to help remove barriers for people with disabilities, Families Minister Rochelle Squires announced on Wednesday.

“The MAF was created with the purpose of aiding organizations in implementing the essential changes needed to enhance accessibility in their services, ultimately improving the quality of life for all Manitobans and enabling full participation within their communities,” said Squires.

“The funding announced today will support 42 projects dedicated to promoting accessibility and inclusivity for everyone. It is truly inspiring to witness the diverse range of initiatives being supported by the grants across the province.”

The money is being given to 42 organizations across the province that meet at least one of three objectives: raising awareness about preventing and removing barriers; developing tools, resources and training to align with accessibility laws; and ensuring communication and information can be accessed electronically, in print and in person. [...]

Note from the poster @el-shab-hussein: I don't wanna be that guy but this sounds like a nothing measure. I thought they were going to restructure some roads or public service buildings but nope. They're gonna make pamphlets and training that's gonna go in one ear and out the other. I'm willing to be corrected on the effectiveness of this measure.

Tagging: @politicsofcanada

#cdnpoli #Manitoba #Accessibility #Disability

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cristalconnors · 2 months

Text

ENSEMBLE

Shortlisted: All Dirt Roads Taste of Salt / Earth Mama / May December / Poor Things / War Pony

THE NOMINEES ARE:

BEAU IS AFRAID

Casting by: Julie Breton and Jim Carnahan, Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Patti LuPone, Amy Ryan, Nathan Lane, Stephen McKinley Henderson, Parker Posey, Zoe-Lister Jones, Kylie Rogers, Richard Kind, Hayley Squires, Denis Ménochet, Armen Nahapetian, Julia Antonelli

JOYLAND

Casting by: Uncredited, Starring: Ali Junejo, Rasti Farooq, Alina Khan, Sarwat Gilani, Salmaan Peerzada, Sohail Sameer, Ramiz Law, Honey Albela, Priya Usman Khan

KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON

Casting by: Ellen Lewis, Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Robert DeNiro, Lily Gladstone, Jesse Plemons, Tantoo Cardinal, John Lithgow, Brendan Fraser, Cara Jade Myers, JaNae Collins, Jillian Dion, Jason Isbell, William Belleau, Louis Cancelmi, Scott Shepherd, Brent Langdon, Everett Waller, Talee Redcorn, Yancey Red Corn, Tatanka Means, Tommy Schultz, Sturgill Simpson, Ty Mitchell, Gary Basaraba, Charlie Musselwhite, Pat Healy, Steve Witting, Steve Routman, Gene Jones, Jack White, Barry Corbin, Randy Houser, Pete Yorn, Katherine Willis

TRENQUE LAUQUEN

Casting by: Uncredited, Starring: Laura Paredes, Ezequiel Pierri, Rafael Spregelburd, Elisa Carricajo, Verónica Llinás, Juliana Muras, Cecilia Rainero

AND THE CRISTAL GOES TO...

TÓTEM

Casting by: Lila Avilés and Gabriela Cartol, Starring: Naíma Sentíes, Montserrat Marañón, Marisol Gasé, Saori Gurza, Teresita Sánchez, Mateo García Elizondo, Juan Francisco Maldonado, Iazua Larios, Alberto Amador

#2023 Film Awards #Best Ensemble #Tótem #Beau is Afraid #Joyland #Killers of the Flower Moon #Trenque Lauquen

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breadedsinner · 1 year

Note

For Seb/Judy:

How do they compare to each other's exes? Are they the same "type" or an upgrade/something different?

What was their last big fight? What did they learn from it?

What habits or characteristics have they picked up from each other?

Would it be terribly cheesy to say they are absolutely each other's types?

Judy's prior paramours include Derlin Barris and Mhairi (probably a third one in there I just need to ... make them, only so many Small Worlds I can use). She's romantic at heart, she admires dedication, loyalty, serious but not TOO serious. Someone who wants to make things better, like she does. She probably had a crush on Leliana, too, if that counts, but she was never going to pursue that.

Sebastian has had more partners, not all of them romantic relationships, but he developed a type over time. Considering his crush on that Rainier fellow who won the Grand Melee he snuck off to see, that brief tryst with that Howe squire, even Fenris a little bit, he does tend to gravitate towards more gruff, imposing, usually dark-haired (Fenris has black eyebrows CLOSE ENOUGH) people. Real tall dark and handsome ;p

The last big fight they had was during All That Remains; Judy was desperate to find her mother and agreed to use Gascard's blood magic to find her. Sebastian was against it, and Judy--already in a very exasperated state--ripped into him pretty badly. That's why he didn't come to the estate after it was all done, he didn't want to make it worse. She was cold to Aveline, so... maybe for the best.

I like to think they had a positive impact on one another; Judy became less austere, and more conversational, talking to her teammates instead of letting wounds fester. And Sebastian became more bold, trusting in his decisions, while also questioning the injustices around him.

#Judith Hawke #Prince Hunny #OTP: We Found Each Other in the Dark #Thank you!

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fezwearingjellybananas · 1 year

Text

The Questing Flower

It’s rare that a Questing Flower will bloom, yet here was Iris with a golden flower in her hands, and a vow to do her upmost to succeed in a Quest no one’s ever succeeded in for over five hundred years, even though she hasn’t even passed all her other Knight Trials yet.

And then the Queen’s Son is gone, vanished from his room in the middle of the night, leaving no trace. It’s no coincidence the flower bloomed the same night, and perhaps finding Barry isn’t Iris’ Quest, but he is her best friend.

Besides, it’s not like she even knows where to start looking for the Moon. (T, 74k)

The Flash (TV 2014) and other Arrowverse

Iris West, Cisco Ramon, Caitlin Snow, Zari Tomaz, Laurel Lance, Kara Danvers

*Chose not to use Archive Warnings

The Knights of the Keystone were the most highly trained, respected knights between the Golden Sea to the west and the Eastern Ocean, all the way to the other side of Piradell. Only the very best were allowed to join, and that was only after they’d passed fourteen trials, the last of which was a Quest.

Iris West had dreamt of becoming one her entire life.

She’d passed a couple of trials. She’d passed her first trial by accident, but it had got her started on Knight training. And there weren’t only thirteen trials, it was just out of all the possibilities you had to complete at least thirteen, and a Quest. But by far the most common trial, the one every single knight did, was to spend fourteen nights guarding the Keystone. Except the Keystone was already in the centre of Central and even if someone managed to get close enough to steal it- which hadn’t happened for two hundred years- they’d have to somehow find a way to lift it and get it back out of the city, which was generally considered impossible. So, more often than not, other prospective knights and squires would attempt to prank the person trying to guard the Keystone. As practice guarding. They’d even roped Wally in a few times by promising not to tell their dad he’d snuck out.

Iris had so far managed to miss all of Tony Woodward’s buckets of water.

[Continued on AO3]

#i've finally finished it!#it's taken literally 3 years but i've finished it!#as you can imagine there have been a number of changes to the plot in those three years but here it is my gen fantasy au #dc tv universe #dc #look i wrote a thing #the questing flower #*

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princess-of-the-corner · 2 years

Note

Ask HC: *all of this on a twitch stream the team was sent a link to by barry though the ask blog*

"Hello ladies and gentleman, beings of all ages! Welcome to the grand 1000th squire tournament, hosted by the ever graceful King Obreon and the eternally beautiful Queen Titania! This year's line up is bigger than ever, with champions of ages past joining the fresh bloods for a fight no one will be forgetting anytime soon."

"That's right Tia, and us here in the announcer booth get front row seats to all the action, and get to give you viewers commentary on the fights as they happen, given they don't end too quickly."

"Absolutely Rook, and to start the day off right we've got a champ from the 974th tournament versus a new blood. Knight Gale against Lady Lucy, both weiders of wind magic an-"

"Hold on, did you say 'Lady Lucy' was against ol' Gale force blade?"

"... Right, he's probably gonna give her that whole 'don't like fighting girls' speil, isn't he."

"Let's hope not, doesn't make for good preshow, except for riling the audience up to cheer for his downfall. Either way, they're taking to the field right now."

"Indeed they are, can't wait to see how Lady Lucy reacts to Knight Gale going white kni- OMG!"

"Well, talk about getting right to action! Guess ol' Gale force recognizes her as a worthy opponent given how he's going at an almost serious speed."

"And yet Lady Lucy's keeping pace with him beautifully with her blade work, it's almost poetry in motion."

"True, almost reminds me of the 961th champion's style. Looks like we might have a stalemate on the first match- AND THAT'S A RING OUT!"

"A solid round kick forces Knight Gale outta the ring, leaving Lady Lucy the victor of the first fight! Stick around as even more fights get under way, each one sure to be spectacular."

"I'm Tia."

"And I'm Rook."

"And we'll see you at the next match!"

Cheering begins!

#hc answers

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savagesneversleepnyc · 11 days

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THE GONG SHOWS

(Thoughts on COMEDY, HIP HOP, HARD WORK and RESPECT)

I had come to DENVER in the FALL of 1996 on a GREYHOUND BUS. The trip was relatively uneventful. I watched a braggart kid from CONNECTICUT who ran his mouth the whole way get yolked buying drugs on the street outside the station in CHICAGO. Those places were very dangerous in the 90’s at every stop. It was a cheap way to cross the country, but it would lead a person through a gauntlet of bizarre dead-end places where the dirty dog stopped to collect the living attempting to find greener pastures.

GREG had talked me into coming. I saw him that summer and he was quite pointed about the perilous state of my plight should I choose to not leave NEW ENGLAND and get out west to escape the headaches and severe DOPE CRISIS that was breaking like a wave at NAZZARRE. It was the 90’s and things were seemingly very prosperous and the severity of QUID PRO QUO was profound. CREDIT, LIFE, DEBT, and CHOICE all loomed as they impeached the president and I went away from the dark strange world I was raised in and got on a bus to build a thing in a blank form.

Our doings would lead to a myriad of things and alliances. VICTOR IZITT aka PRIZNA 101 aka DJ RICOCHET, our roommate, and I formed a GRAFF crew quickly with some other kids and would throw our first parties in 1999 as 314 BREAK CORP with our mentor ED SANTIAGO aka NRG BOY. This event would feature many of the crew mates who would charge at endeavors they found clever and proliferated to levels of dopeness to deep to touch here in any correct manner.

COUNTDOWN was held in DEC in 1999 at BUMP AND GRIND cafe on 17th and PENN in DENVER. CLIFF T, the owner, and our big brother let us use the space last minute as our initial plan fell through. The BUMP AND GRIND was a coffee shop, bakery, and drag brunch destination of over 15 years in DENVER prior to much of that type of culture being more mainstream. CLIFF had lived in NY in the 90’s as well as had taken the gritty attitude of DETROIT where he grew up and fused it with the NY roots he came to earn. His hard work supported many of us and allowed a real family of artists and outsiders to gather around a father figure.

GREG and I would riff. It would lead to him pursuing comedy and eventually our collaborations in this space. We threw events in different spots despite the stigma of music and comedy. I was in two HIP-HOP groups at the time and GREG was running the SQUIRE LOUNGE open mic that lasted over a decade. We were speaking on the GONG SHOW I had thrown with BABAH FLY of BUGABOO, one of the two groups I was in. The show had been a cool idea but the spot was some odd biker bar in a pocket no one even knew existed. While this may have been sick if we wanted to stage some COCK FIGHTS or perhaps get that FIGHT CLUB we kept hinting at starting in motion.. But BAD IDEAS tend to stay stagnant for good reason.

(It is not possible to remember which idea really came first as the dates for them were close)

We stumbled into the idea of doing an actual GONG SHOW but really making it more in the mean-spirited SQUIRE LOUNGE model GREG had already formed. He pitched his comedy partners who were a decent size crew at this time and all agreed it was a great idea. Initially, the idea of YOU SUCK GET OFF THE STAGE and putting DAVE SOTO in a CASER suit was all just the ball rolling downhill. We somehow found the real GONG SHOW GONG that MR CHUCK BARRIS himself had WACKED to end the MEAN JEAN dancing and so many other people's blind charge at FAME.

The show was a nightmare in a lot of ways. It’s easy to DJ or just do COMEDY. Not a lot of moving parts. The show we built had a shitload of performers of a varying degree of skill, songs that would need to be played and cued, video and audio cues to be flown in live from the board, and an entire banter of judges on stage as GREG paraded the stage of the ORIENTAL THEATHER. He would take the stage as the monster he would allow himself to transform into called BOBBY VALENTINO. This person was a version of my boy but was the EVIL PURE SITH version of him that was the DOG he kept muzzled at all times. The act of letting this person stand on stage and act out this mustachio’d fever dream of filth was stepping deep into the chummed waters in a sausage suit…

The show went off in flying colors despite the massive technical problems mostly due to the use of DVD content in the live show. Most of the performers and the actual content given to my AV guy were OLD and used DVDs that were not fit for home play much less a production. These disasters would really rock the booth and boar but ultimately it was never a thing I let get to me. The shows would run 3 nights usually and we ran it 4 times I feel like. Each one is more complex and pro than the last. The first show did have the BUKAKKAE ALARM CLOCK skit GREG and I wrote like so many bits just being fools talking shit at the BUMP AND GRIND.

The roots of that CRUEL demand for the best and funniest stuff were rooted in that hungry world we came out of. The characters we came up with in that scene have gone on to define a era in COMEDY and put our CITY on the MAP. It’s a proud thing to look back on. So many names that are too numerous to mention respectfully. It’s been amazing to see the organic way true people delivering and producing shows and working with love will invariably rise up and create a legacy. I do not ever claim anything beyond what I know I’ve done and never waited for anyone to tell me it was ok. This was offputting I guess and it made me leave DENVER. I’m proud to represent my home even though it’s not where I was born. DENVER is a place where many writers find themselves on the journey. It’s a strange and mythic place I love and hate in equal measure. So many memories of joy and such deep loss and sadness. Some of the faces of the sublime humans I know still knock on my door as I awake daily. But the faces of the EVIL folk who I had to face and pass on were not jokes and warned the young people that it is not a joke.

The West was won in AUDACITY. The concept of MANIFEST DESTINY is a QUID PRO QUO of taking the land from those who were there in AUDACITY and clutching a GUN and BIBLE on the other hand. This is not a debatable fact. But to forget this trespass and pass on is silly. The West was won in BLOOD and ACTIONS GOOD, BAD, and UGLY. But the actions of simple passion and love all live side by side as those monsters ride off to rob another train or train their sights on the next slow-moving animal to poach.

The GONG SHOW is a moment in the AMERICAN MYTHOS that represents the common person being allowed the 15 seconds ANDY has promised in jest. But the AUDACITY to be a FOOL or be COOL is a thing that most don’t know. It’s easy to see a comic, deejay, producer, artist, writer, chef, or human as a thing you get to judge and talk out an opinion on. This is everyone’s right. BUT PLEASE KNOW. If you do not make, do, say, think that thing you choose to run your YAP ABOUT… It is fully permissible to have a REAL ONE tell you quite simply and plan that it’s not your place and it’s probably best to respectfully STFU.

FOR G.B. 314 and VICTOR PRIMO IZZIT 314

5:37am 4.14024.000003

#uziego #savagesneversleep #nyc #videoart #savagesneversleepnyc #nycwriter #bizzid #brooklynwriter #handmade

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