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thispabulum-blog · 2 years

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Show, Don't Tell

Thoughtful Thursday

I'm feeling grumpy and pessimistic (thanks, PMS), and following up on my Wednesday post I thought this might be a good opportunity to be bitchy and complain about how bad everyone's profiles are.

I didn't use to complain much about guys' profiles on here - I used to be I focused on the messages they send. But these days I'm more active about looking for people, and with the way the apps work now where you have to match with someone before you can message them, I'm more likely to be interested enough to read someone's profile.

Unfortunately, there's a lot of bad profiles.

I'm not even talking about the blank profiles, though those are an instant turn-off.

Part rant, part tutorial - my sincere apologies to any of my friends whose profiles I cannibalized to make this; less-sincere apologies to not-friends who suffered the same fate.

[also this is based on OkCupid profiles because they're longer; if you can't manage a decent Tinder profile in the space provided then you need more help than I can offer.]

First Impressions

Your picture is sometimes all that a person might see of your profile, depending on how they find it.

If you don't have pictures of yourself, I immediately swipe left because I assume you're married and looking for hookups.

Your profile picture should be a reasonably clear - and recent -picture of your face. I also appreciate it when people specify which of their pictures is the most recent and/or what their current hair/facial hair situation is, if applicable.

Body shots are okay; topless mirror pics make you look like a tool but everyone has them anyway so whatever.

Pictures with a cat/dog score points with most women; pictures with children make us think you have kids.

If you have any pictures with other females, we will assume they are your ex-girlfriend (or your current girlfriend).

Funny pictures are okay (this may just be personal preference; I like a guy with a sense of humor).

Pictures that are not of you (memes, etc.) are just kinda annoying and usually don't contribute much.

My Self-Summary

Cliche #1: "I'm really bad at writing these things."

Cliche #2: "I don't know what to say here. Just ask me anything and I will tell you."

Cliche #3: "I'm a really laid-back person, I like to have fun and I want to travel."

I don't care how true any of those things are - don't say them. As I've ranted about before, if you can't properly advertise yourself in a dating profile, then you don't need to be on a dating site. End of story. There is no excuse for writing one of those first two things.

The third thing is still the worst. Everyone thinks they're laid-back, everyone likes to have fun (it's fun; by definition, it's something people like), and everyone wants to travel. Yawn.

As a writer, I'm a big advocate of show, not tell.

Reasonably good example:

"Listen to most music genres. Not a "metalhead" but I'm fine wearing band shirts when I'm not going anywhere important. So yeah, not into being fashionable looking."

This guy is laid-back. He didn't need to say that because it's clear from the things he's saying.

Fabulous, if dense, example:

"Every artist has different reasons for approaching the art they do. For me, I feel like the charm of creativity is that we can do so much while we are so limited: we are not omnipotent entities conjuring works into existence directly from boundless thought; we try to make the most out of what little we have and the few ways we can shape those things. Limiting my options even more-so is a means of reflection on how little we have and how much we can still do with that--and how very beautiful that is."

These are examples I pulled in 2014, but I can tell you right now I'm like 75% sure that's Space Kitten, because there's enough of their personality coming through.

What I'm Doing with My Life or Current Goal

Cliche #1: "Living it to the fullest!"

Cliche #2: "Working, going to school, hanging out with my friends."

Not-great example: "Living it the way I please and to hell with anyone who doesn't like it."

Granted, most of these sections are stupidly-named and/or -worded. But I refuse to believe that you can't come up with a better answer than that. Tell me about your job or what you're studying, how you got into it, and why it interests you. Tell me about your hobbies and your plans for the near or far-off future.

Cryptic example: "Pursuing the unobtainable, just like everyone else."

I'm Really Good At

Cliche #1: "Cooking, reading, making people laugh, listening, back massages, sex."

Honorable Mention: "other things ;)"

Go for broke here. It's a section that pleads for you to brag about yourself.

Fabulous example:

"Baking particularly delectable deserts. Accidental alliteration. World building and system breaking. Steering conversations toward things other people like, then honestly listening. Lounging the day away in a hammock with a good book. Driving all night to reach said hammock."

I'm almost positive that one was Pollock.

The First Things People Usually Notice about Me

Anyone over 6': "My height."

Anyone with facial hair: "My beard."

Everyone else: "I don't know; I never ask people."

We should just do away with this section entirely, honestly.

With the possible exception of Cuddlebug, whose profile says

"How loud I am LUL."

which is accurate, though did not adequately prepare me.

The Six Things I Could Never Do Without

This is literally the worst section on everyone's profile. There are, essentially, three main ways of filling this out.

Cliche #1 - Snarky. "Food, water, shelter, air, the pressure of the atmosphere, gravity."

Cliche #2 - Sentimental. "Friends, family, Jesus, my dog, music, chocolate."

Cliche #3 - Materialistic. "Computer, phone, car, money, coffee, airpods."

Favorite Books, Movies, Shows, Music, and Food

I can't even give examples of this section, because most people fill in these enormous lists that no one ever reads. If you want to do that, fine. If it's important to you that a potential match know the names of 68 different bands that you like, I suppose that's your prerogative.

I say limit any lists to a Top 5 or Top 10, and tell more. For movies, talk about what genres you like or your favorite director; whether you like to go see new movies in the theater or just wait to catch them on the internet. For music, mention genres, a few favorite bands, or maybe a general feel of music you like. This will tell someone a lot more about you than a cold list.

Some other day we can talk about my very specific pet peeves regarding the way people talk about their musical tastes.

On a Typical Friday Night I Am

If everyone is "hanging out with friends" on Friday nights, why do I get so many messages from them?

The section of Space Kitten's profile that originally made me fall for them:

"I can assure you that I am not an octopus on any Friday, nor am I a prickly pear, a system of beliefs, nor the set of all sets that do not contain themselves."

The Most Private Thing I'm Willing to Admit

Cliche #1: "If I said it; it wouldn't be private!"

Cliche #2: "It's called private for a reason."

Honorable mention for being insulting: "I'm on this site haha".

The best responses I've seen in these sections are anecdotes that I won't share in this forum. I say go for broke. Tell a weird or embarrassing story about yourself.

Just go rewrite your profile, okay?

#okcupid #dating #poly #online dating #dating app #tinder #relationships

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flappingduster · 2 years

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your honor he does not like being picked up!!

#critical role fanart #essek thelyss #my scribbles #look at him #he yells when picked up #he's such a cat #based on a meme pic that I can't for the life of me find when I want to

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violetsoju · 3 years

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page 30彡★

kageyama tobio · fluff · 3.2k

a/n: came up w this idea based on a tiktok vid of this trend that randomly popped up on my feed (which i can't find anymore T_T) do let me know if you enjoyed it! ❤️

“Hey, Tobio.”

The mop of raven hair doesn’t look up to you, eyes fixated on the jiggly onsen tamago on top of the curry tonkatsu.

“There’s this new trend going on.”

He hums in response, fingers gripping onto a pair of wooden chopsticks, manoeuvring the fragile soft lump towards the spoon. Just a few more steps till being cradled snugly in the deep end of the cool ceramic spoon.

“And we’re gonna learn the moves and film it right here after this.”

His fingers twitch. One of the long pointy chopsticks loses its cool and stabs the tamago right in the core, streaks of yellow bleeding across the crisp golden brown tonkatsu. Its counterpart desperately tries to put pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding, but too much yolk has been lost, and more jabs were made in the frantic rescue mission. Not even the string of ‘shit’ muttered could save the day. So long, dear onsen tamago.

You’re finally met with piercing blue eyes glaring at you.

“No. And look at what you did to my onsen tamago.”

“You should’ve scooped it up with your spoon instead of pushing it with your chopsticks. Common sense much?” You thank the waitress for the hot steaming tempura udon. “Plus, you’re supposed to break the yolk and coat the luscious essence over your rice, unless you’re a freak and eat it in one go.”

Kageyama’s scowl softens when a piece of fried tempura lands in his bowl in exchange for a piece of tonkatsu. A glint of delight gleams in the two pair of eyes at the first bite of delicious food, taste buds tingling in satisfaction.

It’s a rainy Wednesday night. And rainy nights call for warm comfort food to make up for the gloomy wet weather brought by the pitter patter parade of fat rain droplets. So after a spontaneous text message, here you are, with an old close friend of yours, inside a small cosy shop hidden in an alleyway without any prior arrangements.

“And let me repeat myself. I’m not going to do any dumb dance trends with you again.” Kageyama restates his point firmly.

“Come on, you had so much fun the last time! Even Tsukki sent a good job sticker in the group chat.” You reason.

“You mean he enjoyed seeing me almost tripping over my feet.”

“That was the highlight, to be honest.”

He smacks your chopsticks away with his at your attempt to snag another piece of tonkatsu, not giving in into your pout.

“Anyway, I was just kidding. You’re in luck this time because it’s not a dance trend.”

Kageyama raises an eyebrow at you suspiciously, tilting his head to ask you to continue on.

“This time it’s a trend where you grab your nearest book, turn to page 30, and the first sentence will describe your love life. Interesting, isn’t it?”

“Just when I thought you’ve outgrown these ridiculous nonsenses.”

“Says the one who still insists on drinking a box of strawberry milk before matches.” You jab your chopsticks towards his direction accusingly.

“That’s different because it actually works. And it’s good.” He counterattacks by returning your gesture.

“I hate to say this but, point taken.”

He triumphantly snickers as you sigh in defeat.

“Aren’t you curious on how my love life is described?” You question, blowing off the steam from your spoon full of udon.

Kageyama chomps on another piece of pork cutlet, unamused at your question. “If you’re generous enough to share, I’d be honoured.”

“‘He smiles’”

“What?”

“That’s the first sentence on my page 30. ‘He smiles’.” You reply matter-of-factly, taking a sip of your hot green tea.

“What’s that even supposed to mean?” His brows knit in confusion, hands momentarily forgetting the spoonful of curry rice in hand.

“Use your imagination, Tobio. Awaken your romantic cells.” You gesture with your hands dramatically, earning a deadpan look from the boy seated across you.

“Does it mean whoever’s smiling is the love of your life? Or someone who’s always smiling?” Kageyama rests his cheek against his left knuckle, trying to connect the dots together.

“Well-“

“Wait a minute! Don’t tell me it’s Suga-san. Because if it is, I won’t allow it because Suga-san is way too good for you.”

He yelps as you not-so-accidentally dip your chopsticks stained with broth into his green tea.

“Shush, we both know how much Suga-san adores me. And everyone else.” You smugly take another bite of your fried tempura as he frowns in disgust after drinking the now broth infused green tea.

“I guess it’s feeling of love at the sight of his smile? Like feeling all warm and fuzzy seeing him smile.”

“Is there someone who makes you feel that way with their smile?”

You swirl the udon with your chopsticks mindlessly for a moment. “Maybe there is.”

You look up to the pair of blue eyes staring back at you, holding the intense gaze firmly, neither side backing down to break the tension.

“Do I know him?” Kageyama falters, a hint of anxiousness cracks in his voice.

“Since when were you so interested in my love life?” You laugh awkwardly, hoping to conceal your nervousness.

Despite the surrounding bustling chatter, the world suddenly falls painstakingly silent, with the irregular beats of two young hearts thumping deafeningly and out of rhythm.

The raven-haired boy succumbs first, looking back down to his half empty bowl. You continue swirling your bowl of udon, mentally slapping yourself at your answer and cracking your head to come up with something to save the mood.

“Well, I could help to scan him for you, if you want. Boys know boys better after all,”

You snap back up to look at the boy seated across you, eyes not meeting yours. This is a surprise.

“Plus, you can save the tears and snot to yourself because I might not be free to attend to your midnight crying sessions. If it really happens.”

A surge of warmth radiates throughout your body at his words. Definitely not from the hot bowl of udon.

Kageyama still has his eyes on the bowl before him, looking anywhere else but you. He tries to keep himself busy by scooping more rice, groaning as he further destroys the onsen tamago, unaware of the faint blush painting his cheeks. Definitely not from the hot bowl of curry, too.

“Don’t worry, he isn’t a jerk. I’m sure you’ll like him too.” You chuckle, adjusting your chopsticks to pick up more udon.

Oh, Kageyama Tobio, what exactly should I do with you.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽.* :☆ﾟ. ───

Scroll. Refresh. Switch apps. Repeat. Sigh.

You’ve been stuck in this constant loop for the past hour. Instead of getting much needed sleep for the next day, you subject yourself to the chains of the device held in your hand, despite the drooping eyelids and strained arm muscles.

What’s so fascinating about social media anyway? If it’s not friends or random acquaintances posting sinful food pics of ootds, it’d be someone ranting about either their work or love life, or memes you’ve already seen before. Sometimes you wonder if you’ve been casted a spell by social media.

Crying out a yelp as the gadget lands right in your face at the slip of your hands, you massage your nose bridge and forehead from the impact, grimacing in pain. It’s not easy being a slave to social media, huh.

Tossing your phone to the side, you roll over to lie flat on your back, sprawled like a star fish on your bed. A long sigh escapes your lips, eyes staring blankly at the bare celling above. Maybe you should really call it a day.

A beep from your phone tells you otherwise.

Tobio [23:17]

I did it. You owe me one box of strawberry milk.

[23:18]

IMG_20210402_961222

You immediately plop yourself up to sit cross-legged on your bed, tapping on the notification to open the message. As expected of Kageyama Tobio, it was a full-page picture of a book, with a small number 30 on the top left-hand corner. But unexpectedly of Kageyama Tobio too, the page wasn’t from those volleyball books or magazines stacked in the corner of his room. Looks like the mini ramble session you gave him on the way to the metro station worked.

“I know volleyball is the love of your life too, but we’re talking about your actual love life here! So no volleyball books or magazines, go rummage Miwa-san’s book shelf for one random romance novel. Just one. She’ll thank me for taking care of your love life.”

Sliding both your thumbs outwards on the screen to zoom in, your lips press together to form an ‘o’, brows arching in fascination at the first sentence.

She knows.

Interesting.

Your fingers dance across the screen swiftly.

me [23:20]

Ohhh interesting. See, it’s exciting, isn’t it?

Tobio [23:21]

I guess so

me [23:22]

Do you think it describes your love life well?

To actually imagine Kageyama Tobio having something that he loves as much as volleyball is, an odd and foreign feeling.

Tobio [23:24]

I’m not sure tbh

me [23:25]

Well spill the tea so I can help you analyse it

Tobio [23:25]

You swear you would throw punches at him if he was beside you now.

me [23:26]

Tsk tsk, so who’s the girl you’ve been hiding from me

Tobio [23:27]

Since when were you interested in my love life?

The use of your own words against you has you clicking your tongue in amusement.

You were contemplating between a civil or sarcastic remark when a new message bubble pops up.

Tobio [23:29]

But do you think she knows?

me [23:30]

About what?

Tobio [23:31]

Nvm, forget what I said

Seriously? This conversation is by no means, ending like this. You tap on the video icon on the right-hand corner of the screen hastily.

It takes a few rings for the familiar face to appear on screen, face a little too close to the camera, brows furrowed, lips pursed.

“What the heck, do you know what time it is?” Kageyama huffs in annoyance, running his fingers through his dishevelled black hair.

“Says the one who sent me such juicy information at this hour.” You bend your legs up, resting your hand on your knees for a better angle.

He throws his head back exasperatedly, muttering something inaudible along the static noise from the speakers, resting his head on a wooden frame you recognise. He still hasn’t changed his bed that he has long outgrown, complaining about soreness in his legs and arms that dangle off the edge every night.

“How do you expect me to go to bed with you hanging me like this? You have the worst timing ever.” You raise your hands in protest.

Kageyama buries half of his face in his palm. “I shouldn’t have listened to you.”

“But you get a box of strawberry milk from this! It’s worth it.” You gesture a finger gun to him knowingly.

He moves two fingers away from his face, peeking to see you through the screen like a child. Heaving a long, heavy sigh, he shifts his weight to sit up properly, half of his face still cradled in his palm.

“So, ‘she knows’, huh. Back to your question. What do you think she knows?” A tinge of excitement and fear bubble up your throat.

Kageyama avoids your gaze, looking to the side. “Well, I mean, about my, er- my feelings, I guess?”

“You mean your heart.”

The sentence has his eyes back on you, vivid blue eyes clouded by the shadows of dimly lit room.

“Yeah, uhm, well, I guess.” His voice trails off.

“Well, have you told her before?” You keep your voice steady.

“No, of course.” His words come out like a whisper.

“Then how is she going to know without any words or actions?” It comes out like a blunt statement, but somewhere deep down, a wave of relief washes over you.

“But I’m always there for her. Whenever she needs me, wherever she is, I try my best to be there for her,” Passionate flames ignite across the vast blue ocean. “I know something is on her mind when she bites the insides of her cheeks, when she flicks the tip of her thumb with her index finger constantly, or when she plays with the piercings on her ears. I’m not one with words, but I stay by her side when she needs me to, listening to her rambles or vents, or wiping away tears that stain her cheeks soft like mochi.

“I set notifications the night before to give her morning calls during her exams or important days because she tends to snooze the alarm on days like these. I always have extra band-aids ready on hand because she always somehow cuts and hurts herself, which hurts my heart too. Heck, I even learn ridiculous things that would be the death of me just for her, because nothing compares to the sparkle in her eyes when she flashes her precious smile, brighter than the sun that takes my breath away every time. I-”

Kageyama stops midway, face painted with horror as if he just let out a million-dollar secret. Panic flares in his eyes, mouth agape in incredulity as his body rigids, dumbstruck with terror by what rolled off his tongue so smoothly. You wonder if the line got disconnected because he turned into a static image, with a full-blown flustered look on his face.

You wave at the screen. “Tobio, you still there?”

It takes a few seconds for the raven-haired boy to snap back to his senses and regain his composure, coughing awkwardly in attempt to calm himself down. Small patches of blush blooming furiously on his cheeks peek out from his hands covering his mouth.

He looks cute.

No, he’s cute.

He’s always been cute.

“I- Er- Ye- Yeah, I’m still here.” Kageyama struggles to find words from his tad-larger-than-average vocabulary vault that has seem to disappear into thin air.

“Gosh, breathe Tobio, breathe. Come on, take a deep breath with me. One, two, three.”

He exhales deeply at the count of three with eyes shut close, hoping that all his jitters have been expelled away in the air.

“There you go. Feel better now?” Your lips tug up gently as the boy on the screen visibly relaxes, shoulders loosening from the tension, face free of creased lines.

He opens his eyes slowly, blinking a few times to adjust his vision before returning a soft smile to you. “Yeah, I do. Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

A tranquil silence blankets over the both of you. This time, the steady beats of two young hearts thump in tune like a metronome. Two young souls gaze at each other, basking in the calmness and comfort of the sincere warm smiles that felt so much like home; but too proud to admit they were like lovesick fools, brushing off the feelings that were screaming loudly to be heard, feelings that they were afraid to face.

“Do you think she knows?” It’s a genuine question, one that takes a mountain high of courage to come up with.

“I’m sure she does.” It’s a genuine answer, one that takes a of couple hundred meters of might to emerge from the deep ends of the sea to come up with.

And you both hope that you’re on the same wavelength.

“So back to square one. Who’s the girl?”

“None of your business.”

“Another piece of crap from you and I’ll leave without you at the metro station tomorrow.”

“Sorry.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽.* :☆ﾟ. ───

When you reach the designated exit of the metro station the next day, a pair of eyes as blue as the day immediately catches your attention among the crowd, feet shuffling on its own accord towards them. As if there was a detector sensing your presence within him, the owner of the beautiful pair of orbs turns to you, raising a hand in greeting.

Kageyama gives you a smile, a smile that says, ‘I hope my smile makes you feel warm and fuzzy’.

You smile back at him, with a smile that says, ‘I hope you know that I know your heart’.

It’s hard to shake off the pride to be damned, but the two lovesick fools find themselves discarding it slowly, bit by bit with each step taken, together.

【☾】

Kageyama is a creature of routine. He always has his day planned out in detail and hates it when it doesn’t go according to plan, or when something pops out of the blue. But there are a few which he can make exceptions for. So when he receives your text asking for dinner after his training session, he agrees in a heartbeat.

He felt his heart sink deeply in his guts when you said there was, indeed, someone who made you feel warm and fuzzy with their smile. But who was he to have his say when his status was merely just a close friend?

Miwa thought he had lost it when he barged into her room without notice that night, scanning her bookshelf for novels, specifically of the romance genre. It was more nerve-wrecking than retaking exams back in high school with Hinata while flipping through the pages, and it didn’t help much when he finally found the particular page, with the first line inked in black staring back at him in doubt.

He doesn’t know why he sent the picture of the page to you. What exactly was he expecting?

Worse, he doesn’t even know why he started blabbing about how he was always there for you, how much he cares for you, and how much you mean to him. It all just came out so naturally that he could actually score an A+ for impromptu speaking.

But when your eyes were filled with concern while calming him down instead of making fun of him or pestering him for more, something flutters in his mind. Maybe it was from the rush of adrenaline from before, or maybe it was his heart that had leaped out from his chest taking over. He brings up the question once again, with more confidence this time.

He knows you’re not one to lie with your eyes. And he sees the kindness and honesty in them.

A ray of hope flickers in him.

So today, Kageyama musters up every ounce of courage he has, and tells himself it’s now or never: to close the gap he has longed for so long between two hands that swayed side by side. Instead of retreating his hands away when they brush against yours, he curls the tip of his fingers with yours delicately, as if your fingers would melt at his touch.

He hopes that he made the right decision.

And when your fingers curl back, intertwined with his, he knows he has made the right decision, and that his question has been answered.

She knows.

And the fact that he’s the one behind the smile that makes you go all warm and fuzzy, he swears it feels like he could run for miles and miles without running out of breath, soaring even higher than the clouds in the skies. None of the perfect sets he has set in his lifetime could compare to the satisfaction and bliss he was feeling right now.

Because you had set his life ablaze the moment fate brought the both of you together, and you’re his end game.

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#kageyama tobio x you #kageyama tobio x y/n #kageyama tobio x reader #kageyama tobio #kageyama x y/n #kageyama x reader #kageyama fluff #kageyama tobio fluff #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu oneshot #hq imagines #i want a soft boy like kageyama T_T #fun fact: the first line on page 30 for me is actually 'he smiles' too #which i thought to myself 'ah yes my 2d men smiling best describes my love life'#i originally started this for suga but it turned into kags midway hhh #go grab your nearest book and tell me whats the first line of your page 30!

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writebecauseyoucannotbreathe · 3 years

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Ultimate Ship Meme: Azulaang

Rate the Ship -

How long will they last? - Until I say so. I can see them being together after death as spirits.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Ooooh boy. Azula struggles to understand friendship. I think she'd fall in love fast and hard but take the longest to realize. Aang wouldn't let himself get attached at first because Azula is unapologetic and one of the things I like about Azulaang is how it would push Aang to deals with the nitty gritty gray, not in a The Fire Nation was right all along way but in how even Kyoshi and Roku's conflict resolution let to disagreements. I think it would take Aang longer to fall in but once they reach a semblance of common ground he'd be well aware he's falling in love and would enjoy the ride.

How was their first kiss? - Let's see my fanfics. In Blue it was awkward. In Weightless it was sweet. In Smut it was horny and hate filled. In canon I think their first kiss would be very passionate and then they snap back to reality and Aang would evade while Azula denies so they wouldn't talk about it but they'd for sure be thinking about the kiss.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Technically Azula. As soon as Aang hears about a Fire Nation wedding, either his friends or he learns about Ozai and Ursa's wedding, his mind would be set on a wedding. He wouldn't say anything but he'd squirrel away relevant wedding information like he'd hear a song and go "I want that instrument to play at my wedding." But Azula would have her life planned out by other people and there'd be a set date where Ozai now Zuko are supposed to comb through suitor requests (it was probably Ursa's role. If she's there she'd talk to Azula directly instead of Lo and Li. I don't think Lo and Li are high enough rank to determine the suitor but I think it would be customary/expected for their input to be asked). Azula would tell Aang something along the lines of "I should be wed." and he'd agree and then Azula will spend an abnormally long time wondering if he married her because he liked her or because it's his duty until she asks him while he's discussing potential baby room colors pre wedding.

Who is the best man/men? - Sokka and Toph. Azula was going to pick Momo but he made a better flower girl. Yes she did this to annoy Zuko (and because Toph didnt want to wear the bridesmaid outfit) it's okay though Fire Lord Zuko was the guest of honor.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Katara, Suki, Mai, Ty Lee. Mai pretends she hates the outfit but she's secretly pleased.

Who did the most planning? - Aang did the most thinking but Azula did the most planning.

Who stressed the most? - Externally Aang. Internally Azula.

How fancy was the ceremony? -

Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

100% Azula's fault. Aang has no clue what Fire Nation weddings are supposed to be like.

Aang: Wow I can't believe all weddings in your Nation are this big.

Azula: They're not. It's because I'm Royalty and you're the Avatar.

Though I hc that Aang wants to get married in all the different Nations and Azula secretly wants to experience a small wedding so they get married 3 more times with one of them being a very small Air Nation wedding.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Hmmm I'm not sure. On one hand, Ozai redemption. On the other hand, Ozai death.

Sex:

Who is on top? - Aang. Azula thinks she wants to be on top but she'd rather be pampered and Aang is more comfortable communicating and attending to needs. Aang has no strong preference either way and they do switch but this is their usual dynamic.

Who is the one to instigate things? - Azula but she denies it.

How healthy is their sex life? -

Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

I think it's up to the reader's preference but I can see them being very private (Azula) and naturally talented (Aang) to the point where they assume every couple has sex daily. Hc that Aang and Suki talk about sex freely (ex: When I do __ should I __ or do girls prefer ___? I can never tell with Azula. Why do guys do ___ after ____ ? I've tried asking Sokka but he doesn't give me a straight answer.) Much to the fear of Sokka and Azula.

How kinky are they? -

Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

Again up to the reader. They both like learning new things and are prodigies so I think they'd end up reading about things to try in bed (Azula) and would try things out to see what they like (Aang) until they learn what they and each other generally like/dislike.

How long do they normally last? -

Does the Avatar State remove your refractory period? >;3c

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - No. Aang likes overstimulating.

How rough are they in bed? -

Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

Neither can dirty talk. Azula is rougher. Aang likes to take it slow. She sets the pace in the beginning but he decides when it ends.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -

No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Azula refuses to cuddle in public but in return they cuddle all night.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - hc them having twin boys at first with one firebender and one airbender because poetry. But Azula really wants a girl so they have a third child she is an airbender with Aang's charm and knack for getting in trouble and Azula's ruthlessness. Amon kidnaps her and instead of easily escaping (Aang's genes) she instead viciously mocks him the way only a preteen can (Azula's genes.) It's traumatic enough for Amon even before the parents show up. Then Aang wants another one and Azula wants another firebender so they do the do and surprise triplets! (maybe it has to do with ejaculatimg in the Avatar State lol) So 6 in total and lets say its 3 boys 3 girls with 3 airbenders 3 firebenders.

How many children will they adopt? - None. Azula is wary of motherhood and I know people like to hc Aang as adopting and while I can see him acting as a father figure to several kids I think he'd greatly prefer biological kids especially airbenders. It's a flaw that was barely touched upon and def not handled well in Legend of Korra.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Servants or Aang. After a kid or two Azula would be comfortable enough to change the diapers but it would still be mostly Aang.

Who is the stricter parent? - Depends on the kid. Aang is more lenient with airbenders and Azula with firebenders or girls. I can see Azula being strict with training & studies but not with sharing whereas Aang would have less rules but they'd be more heavily enforced (ex: no airgliding without supervision until you've mastered the safety course)

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Azula. She's pretty lenient with the term dangerous esp. when it comes to firebending as long as basic safety measures are applied (ex: you can pracrice lightning as long as it's not pointed towards yourself aka dont be Zuzu) but Aang is of the mindset "How are you gonna learn airbending without dangerous stunts?" And after the first few incidents she started stepping in.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Azula but Aang cooks them.

Who is the more loved parent? - Appa

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Azula. When Aang attends the teachers shower him and his kids with compliments ("You're doing so well teaching your kids the values of the Air Nomads. It must be so hard being The Last Airbender"). They do the same with Azula but unlike Aang she sees through it and manages to get an accurate assessment of how their kids are doing.

Who cried the most at graduation? - Aang was more happy than sad. Azula cried before and after.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Aang. He is a notorious lawbreaker. Azula would bail the kids and she could do so quicker than Aang in a few cases because of her connections but she'd be mad so their kids would rather call Aang or break themselves out.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Tied. Aang at first but then Azula wants to learn and after Aang teaches her since she has less experience she finds more enjoyment in cooking.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? -

Technically Aang since he's a vegetarian. Azula hasn't tried as many foods and she's used to not making a fuss at the family dinner table to the point of which Aang notices.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Both. Aang has a better eye for vegetables/fruits and Azula is better with prices (it's not about the cost it's about the value).

How often do they bake desserts? - Aang bakes them when he can/weekly. They're fruit based so if Azula doesn't want dessert he gives it to Momo or flings it at a target.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Gee I wonder. Aang eats salad Azula eats meat.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Aang but Azula tends to figures it out. Azula is more likely to plan a dinner but she wouldn't make it a surprise.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Aang but Azula is a close second. It would be a tie if it wasn't for the bathhouse.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Accidentally? Aang. On purpose? Azula.

Who cleans the room? - Servants or Aang.

Chores:

Who is really against chores? - Azula hates cleaning up but she's neater.

Who cleans up after the pets? - Aang.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Aang.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Azula.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Aang.

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Azula. In the Fire Nation Palace Aang has taken to chatting with Azula in the Royal Spa while he feeds her (and mostly himself) cherries.

Misc:

Who takes the dog Appa out for a walk? - Aang

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Never. Once they like the room they like the room. If its an event they'll go to a different location for it or leave the Air Temple as is.

What are their goals for the relationship? -

To stay together.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? -

Aang slept for a hundred years so I'll give it to him.

Who plays the most pranks? - Tie. They've both pulled elaborate pranks as kids.

#azulaang #atla #avatar the last airbender #aang x azula #ship meme #long

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cbssummerglobaladventureseries · 2 years

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DISCLAIMER & BLOG INFO/NAVIGATION

(pls read before sending asks, replies, etc.)

I do not tag spoilers for ANY seasons!!

Everything on this blog is written from my personal opinion, taste, interpretation of the show, etc.

Do not come at me angry just because you don't agree with my opinions about the show or specific racers/teams!

I'm sorry if our views of contestants or aspects of the show don't align, but I'm not attempting to start debates about any of that. I just want to share clips, gifs, & pics from the show and discuss how I feel about the show and specific parts of it in detail.

Things I write about contestants may come across as a bit extra, because I personally really enjoy using exaggeration and hyperbole! Please remember these people, while on the show, are technically characters, due to story building done via editing!

When it comes to how I feel about specific racers/teams, please be aware that I base almost all my opinions of them on how they come across on the show. I try to do research to some degree on a lot of the contestants, but there's only so much care I can give about a reality TV personality's personal life and views. (Especially people who I don't enjoy on the race, or people who don't have a big online presence.)

If someone I enjoy a lot on the show is an asshole in real life, that doesn't mean my praise for them as a racer should be taken as praise for them overall. In the same vein, if I'm harsh about someone I don't like on the show, that doesn't automatically mean I think they're an awful person all around. On top of that, this show is well over 20 years old at this point. People change and I know that it's not very likely for someone to be the same person now as they were on the show.

Also, I (obviously) adore Phil to death and have a huge crush on him, but any jokes I make about him are just that: jokes. Please don't take anything I say about him (or the show/contestants in general) too seriously! Again, this blog is just for fun!

All that being said, feel free to send asks if you like! I do really enjoy learning things about the show or racers I may not already know from my own (limited) research! :)

This post itself contains navigational tags for this blog! I'll be adding more/adjusting tags as time goes on!

Obviously I can't link season or team specific tags on this post since there's so many seasons of the show, so if you're looking for a specific season or team search for #TAR[SEASON] or #[Racer]&[Racer] to find that content.

Similarly, if you want to find content related to a specific leg or location, try searching #TAR[Season] Leg[Number] or #[Landmark, City, Country]. (I'll streamline this system in the future if necessary!)

The main tags I use are:

#TAR Talk - General posts that aren't specific to any single aspect of the show.

#TAR.txt - More specific posts that may pertain to a certain aspect of a single season, team, etc. These posts may or may not include pictures/reaction images that go along with the post itself. Every #Leg Discussion will be under this tag as well.

#TAR Pics - Screenshots taken directly from the show itself. These are further categorized under #Reactions (for reaction-type images), #Lolz (for humor posts), and #Views (for great views/cinematics).

#TAR Gifs - Same as above but with gifs.

#TAR Clips - Same as above but with clips, with the addition of #Compilation posts.

#TAR Memes - Shitposts about the show that either I make myself or I source from other places. (I will always try to link the source in the post itself if I can!)

#Phil Posting - All Phil specific content. These can be general posts about him or may also fall under #Reactions or #Lolz categories. They will also be further categorized under #Phil Pics, #Phil Gifs, and #Phil Clips as necessary.

#Not from TAR - Any posts with media sourced from outside the show itself. (This doesn't include photos I post myself such as pics of the box sets or similar type posts, nor does it include promos/ads via CBS itself.)

#Leg Discussion - In-depth episode discussion posts. (These will always have a default title with the actual discussion being under a Keep Reading cut.)

#Challenges - Leg challenge specific posts. These are further categorized under #Route Info, #Roadblocks, and #Detours.

Leg Discussion Guide:

All my Leg Discussion posts are subject to future edits and additions! Mostly because I likely won't think of everything I want to say all at one time of writing, especially with how much I re-watch the show. I also plan to link to posts of mine about specific parts of a leg/episode in discussion posts, mostly for fun but also for extra context. :)

All factual info in my leg discussions is taken from my own notes on the show I take while re-watching the DVDs and from information on the episodes found online (usually through Wikipedia, interviews, articles, or similar sources.)

Info in discussion posts such as Route Marker/Clue Details that are in quotes are taken directly from the show. (I find these via what is quoted in closed captions or by pausing at the right times to read the physical clue myself.) I try my best to quote the clues verbatim but it can be difficult due to how contestants may paraphrase a clue or what is cut out in editing. If I can't get much exact clue info, the details will not be in quotes!

Reminder!! All Rankings and opinions on aspects of the episodes/legs and on contestants come from my personal views!

Leg, Location, and Challenge Rankings are on a scale of 1 to 10, with the basic idea of 1 being Easy and 10 being Hard. (For example, the Location of London, England would likely have a low rating, as most people there speak English and navigation shouldn't be difficult.)

I take more than overall difficulty into consideration when making my Leg Rankings, and if you'd like to know more specifics feel free to ask! (I keep all ratings tracked online via tables.)

Racer/Team Rankings:

These types of posts will likely come at the end of a season re-watch, as it takes a whole season (at least) to be able to fully form my opinions on contestants.

Racer and Team Rankings are more based on things such as tolerance to other cultures, game savviness, general likeability, and similar critiques.

I think that covers the majority of stuff! If you have any questions feel free to drop an ask! <3

{Last Updated: June 3, 2022}

#Disclaimer #About #TAR Talk #TAR.txt #TAR pics #TAR gifs #TAR clips #TAR memes #Phil posting #Reactions #Lolz #Views

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