#basically my sickly ass is able to somewhat thrive due to this shit--that’s it that’s what i’m trying to say lol

[notepadsandtealeaves]

Dick Grayson x GN!Reader in: They Never Stood a Chance

12 Days of Batmas || Day 6—Baking Cookies

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT || 18+ ONLY ||

↞ previous: the franken-bat rises || ugly sweaters

|| ao3 version | 12 days m.list | batboys tag | main blog ||

|| dames day 6 | jay day 6 | tim day 6 ||

“Richard my love, why are you this way?”

He shrugs at that, laughing a bit. “Poor impulse control, probably. A better question is why do you love me for it?”

Look. It was his cheat day, okay?

↠ Requested By: Not a soul lol ↠ Reader Gender: Neutral ↠ Content Type: SFW fluff ((but my blog’s 18+ if minors want to consume my sfw stuff while still respecting my wishes of them staying out of this space, they can head over to my AO3)) ↠ CWs: There’s some implied intimacy in the ficlet. Nothing too racy, but you definitely can tell where things are heading lol… ↠ Betas? Nah, we don’t do that here. ↠ Total WC: 1.6k~

Headcanon || WC: ~1k

🌟 Ya know, I low-key/high-key feel like I write Dick as a walking amalgamation of every cutesy Hallmark MC that has ever existed, but like…

I think it’s valid?

He’s just so damn wholesome imo, and yes I know that he’s certainly not without his faults, but… My guys—he’s always trying to better both himself as well as the world at large and I absolutely adore him for it.

Seriously, how can you not love this literal ray of sunshine, like at least a little?? He’s so damn cute and sweet and thoughtful and funny and beautiful both inside and out—he’s the whole damn package!

But this is all super tangential to this HC so let’s move on.

🌟 Anyways!

🌟 I know some people see Dick as the kind of dude that’d be hopeless in the kitchen, but this is a whole ass man y’all, one with very specific dietary demands. He’s not always the most practical guy, but he does know the importance of keeping himself fed.

And if you just gotta eat, why not make it tasty?

He’s not out here getting his Gordon Ramsay on, but he can put together some p. nice meals. Yeah, they’re usually on the basic side, but they’re always yummy and well-balanced.

He’d be lying if he said that dessert wasn’t his favorite part of any meal, and as such he almost always has it in some form or another, even if it’s just a bit of fruit.

🌟 He lives for his cheat days, so it shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise that he’s a better baker than he is a cook.

Again, he’s not making 5-star dishes, but what he does make he makes well, and with cookies being relatively easy anyway they’re definitely at the top of his list.

He doesn’t even think twice about whipping up a batch or two—or three or four…

Look. He likes having options, okay? And cookies freeze really well soooo…

🌟 Baking cookies—especially Christmas/the winter holiday of your choosing cookies—with him really is like something out of a movie.

But like minus the mess. Sure tossing random ingredients around looks all cute/silly/fun on screen, but trying to get flour out of your hair and-or the grout work of your floor is a bitch, never mind hazardous given how slick it is underfoot.

Plus he doesn’t like being needlessly wasteful, especially around the holidays when there’re so many families going without. He gives both his time and his money when and where he can, but he’s still a good steward even when he’s behind closed doors.

That said he isn’t above swiping your lips with a bit of icing just so he can have an excuse to smooch it off of you. God, this man, I cannot…

((just in case you somehow forgot that it’s always soft simpin’ for Richard John Grayson hours in this house lmao))

🌟 It’s gonna take you forever and a day just to get through one batch because he’s gonna be all over you, as usual.

Lots of back hugs and kisses and cuddles and general flirty glombing that one would expect from him.

Hey, it’s not his fault you’re so damn cute! You’re in your comfiest clothes and rumpled in that way that says you’re content and not planning on going anywhere, and he loves that you let him see you like this—all unguarded and snuggly looking—and it’s making his heart do that thing where it beats extra hard and fuck but he loves you and how could he ever hope to keep that to himself?

More importantly why would he want to? You—the object of his affection/desire/every good dream he’s ever had—is right here in front of him, and by his estimation you most certainly deserve to know exactly what it is you do to him…

For the most part he’s pretty direct about expressing his affections, but he’ll try to be sly on occasion. Like, he’ll swear that he’s just trying to help you stir something and then basically recreate that pottery scene from Ghost lmfao.

You know the scene I’m talking about but if you somehow don’t, here. But be warned, this particular clip doesn’t have any background music and is awkward as all hell because of it, but dammit if I had to hear it I’m gonna make it your problem too lol…

🌟 His favorite cookies to decorate are plain sugar cookies, more specifically the snowflake shaped ones.

He finds them to be elegant and classic. There’s just something so delicate and charming about the royal icing pipework and the large grained sugar sprinkle. They are very much what he thinks of first when he thinks of Christmas/winter-themed cookies.

Aside from that he really likes novelty shapes, esp. those related to the Bats. Catch him out here making custom batches for each of his siblings with their own cutters lol. They always pretend to be annoyed, but cannot hide their smiles when they’re eating miniature versions of themselves…

…or the vicious grins that pull at their lips when they make direct eye contact with each other as they bite the head/various limbs off of one sibling on another lmao. It, uhh, it makes for interesting dining if nothing else—a mildly macabre show to go with your meal lol.

🌟 As far as eating goes… Look, I personally canon this man as having the palate of a toddler lol. If it’s sweet then he’s down. But if we’re talking holiday themed cookies…

He’d probably pick chocolate peppermint cookies—bonus points if you actually top them with crushed peppermints! Anything to get that little bit of extra sugar in lol, plus he likes the added crunch.

🌟 Overall, baking with Dick is just a really adorable experience. I swear the two of you are like a living breathing ‘Couple’s Goals’ post, and honestly? I’m here for it.

They Never Stood a Chance || WC: 600~

“I know it’s your cheat day and all, but is it really worth giving yourself another stomachache?”

Your teasing chide sees Dick’s shoulders bunching up while his head sinks down to meet them. As he chances a sheepish glance back at you, you’re left to wonder how he manages to make his frame look so small and damn near childlike. Given the impressive build of him it should be all but impossible, but when he’s giving you those ‘please stop perceiving me and my mistakes’ eyes with a half-eaten cookie hanging from his lips it kinda makes sense.

Bracing yourself against his waist, you look past him at the platter that had been overflowing with cookies just a couple of hours ago. Dick had offered to take care of the mess in the kitchen while you tidied up elsewhere, and though you had known that he was just waiting to get alone with your newly decorated treats you really hadn’t wanted to bust any suds. And so against your better judgement you had left him to it hoping that the memory of last week’s candy cane fiasco would keep him from doing anything too questionable.

Looking at the few scant cookies that are left now, however, you realize how foolishly optimistic you’d been.

“Richard my love, why are you this way?”

He shrugs at that, laughing a bit. “Poor impulse control, probably. A better question is why do you love me for it?”

Well, he’s certainly got you there.

Some of his habits may not be the healthiest—though he has been steadily winnowing out the worst, most self-destructive of them—and his ‘act now, think about it later, maybe’ attitude has gotten him into just as much trouble as it’s gotten him out of, but… Well that’s just all a part of what makes Richard John Grayson, Richard John Grayson, and you really do love him for it.

Honestly you’d much rather have him like this, occasionally questionable dietary choices and all, than to just have parts of him. There are so many out there that think they know him well, but in truth their acquaintanceship is as hollow as the smiles he graces them with.

Gotham is in love with a façade and rightly so. His public facing persona is nothing less than perfection, a unbearably charming mask that has been carefully cultivated and studiously maintained over the years, but when the clock strikes twelve and pretenses are cast aside there are only a select few that get to see the man that lies behind it all. You have no idea what you’ve done to be counted among their number, but you thank every good thing this universe has ever produced that you are.

This is why you know better than to pile on him because at the end of the day no one is harder on Dick than he is on himself, and in this particular instance he’ll definitely be feeling the results of his actions in short order, you’re sure. Instead you grab a bottle Perrier from the fridge before pulling him into the living room with you.

The position you take up is a familiar one, with you sitting and Dick’s head resting in your lap while the rest of him is splayed out along the length of the sofa. The water is placed on the table’s edge for ease of reach, though for now both of your hands occupy themselves with one another. You trace the fine bones of his fingers from where they rest atop his stomach, circling their joints as you go. Meanwhile Dick’s free hand finds your own, and after placing a kiss on your palm, rests it against his eyes in an attempt to block out the light. It isn’t the most comfortable position, it definitely won’t be sustainable for any considerable length of time, but for now you’re content to enjoy the silence with your love.

Up Next:

🌟 Day 7: A Compromise with Indigo Eyes || Decorating Your Home

“Richard John, we are not leaving our Christmas decorations up year ‘round.”

“But it’d save us so much time! Plus think of the potential for halloween—instant Nightmare Before Christmas vibes.”

“…you’re making points, but also no.”

But think of the possibilities tho!

© notepadsandtealeaves, 2020 || Please do not repost, translate, or otherwise alter or distribute my works without my express permission. And for the love of god keep it away from Youtube and TikTok lol…

#((Immy does fan fiction: the Batboys)) #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson x gn!reader #dick grayson x gender neutral reader #dick grayson x you #dick grayson x y/n #dick grayson imagine #dick grayson headcanon #dick grayson hc #i am 100% convinced that perrier water is magic-- #because every time i get a stomachache (which is far too often tbh :/) it makes the pain more bearable-- #sometimes even rids me of it all together #it also helps with nausea and if you’re pre- or fully diabetic it gives you something other than plain ol’ unflavored water to drink #basically my sickly ass is able to somewhat thrive due to this shit--that’s it that’s what i’m trying to say lol #sadly this isn’t a sponsored post tho if perrier wanted to hook a sista up i wouldn’t at all be opposed lmao… #but anyways! #dick is an actual disney prince don't bother with trying to change my mind