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#basically that's just me telling you not to give up if you're battling with mental illness bc if you followed me on
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Spirit Work Basics
You voted, I listened. I meant it. So buckle up as we go through the basics of Spirit Work.
I've touched on this on other posts but I'll make a massive post here. This is not going to explain everything and will still be pretty broad. Cause I do not have the time, the knowledge, nor patience to try and explain EVERYTHING.
But I do hope it helps.
Look under the tags advice, spirit communication, spirit work for more detail.
So hello, I'm Sol. I've been working with spirits since I realized I was speaking with them. I had the gift since I was a young child, first spirit I saw being my grandfather on my father's side shortly after he passed away. He was a pastor, supposedly, I was doing the best I could to repeat his favorite verses despite me being a small little shit. I don't remember the verses, I do remember speaking to him a lot however.
Which is where we'll begin, how to speak to spirits.
Maybe she's born with it? Maybe it's insanity~♪
Well, how do we begin with speaking with spirits? There's a number of ways, actually. Some do have the natural ability, like myself but that shouldn't discourage people who are newly trying and don't have that natural affinity for it. Spirits can and will talk to anyone if you open yourself up. Just takes a bit of work. But Sol, you may ask, how do I do that?
If you've been on witchblr for a bit you know what I'm about to say next: Yup.
Meditate.
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Now listen, meditation is a way to open yourself up to the spirits around you or just at least signal "hey, I'm open to talk to." It gives you a good sense of your own energy and the energy around you. Meditation doesn't have one look either. A lot of people can't just sit still and kept their legs crossed or be on their knees with their eyes closed (I see you ADHD/ADD people). Hell, my lazy ass will meditate lying down.
Literally the definition of Meditation: to engage in mental exercise (such as concentration on one's breathing or repetition of a mantra) for the purpose of reaching a heightened level of spiritual awareness. transitive verb. : to focus one's thoughts on : reflect on or ponder over. (merriam webster)
It's pretty broad, right? Hell, you can even work out and meditate. I do it all the time. Cause I focus on my breathing and the feeling of energy through my body. Basically you can get creative with it.
While you're meditating, make sure you're feeling your own energy. This can come in a number of ways; waves, your heartbeat, a feeling of something cloaking you etc. While you have that feeling down, envision an opening, whether its a door, or just acknowledging you're reaching out to the other side. Whether or not you get an answer back, you are putting yourself out there and that's half the battle done. Just be sure to know how to close yourself and ward your body. Spirit work and opening yourself like that is no joke and I'd like you to be safe.
To do that, just envision whatever you had opened closed or recede back or whatever you used that worked for you.
Signs to Look for
Some of the more common tells of a spirit hearing and trying to communicate are of the following:
Small echos/voices in the back of your head
Random thoughts that may not be your own
Knocks or things shuffling
Strange dreams
Small phantom touches
Feelings of being watched
And Many More!
"But Sol," some of you might say, "that's really fucking vague and could just be explained away."
Yeah...welcome to spirit work. You thought this shit was easy?!
You have to work on your discernment. It is a skill needed for this type of work.
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Seems counterproductive, but it's not! See, if every bump and noise was reported as ghosts or spirits, well...we'd be even less believed than we already are. When doing spirit work, or ghost hunting, you are stuck with the burden of proof and it's a huge burden to have. This is why people ask for repeats of actions, to speak again in recorders and other things. We're asking for repetition, because science is prevalent, especially in spiritualism and occultism. We have to be our own skeptics so when we have something that can't be explained away, we truly have something to celebrate.
Tools on the Job
No one said you had to do this all on vibes. No shame in using tools. I'll more than likely take the time to make specific posts about each tool in the future cause this post is already really long but I'll give you a nice rundown of basic tools.
By the way anyone who tries to shame you for using tools or says "only trainee or baby witches use this or that" are tools themselves (not the good or useful kind) and should not be given the time of day. Tools are fine. Use them for help if you need it because that's what the fuck a tool is for.
Now these aren't all the tools you can use but I'll give you some well known ones. I've seen witches get real creative and it's honestly super cool watching them use strange things that you'd never think about as a witchcraft tool. But that's what makes it so fun.
Tarot cards
Tarot is something I often use. 78 cards all with different meanings. There's many many ways to interpret them and multiple themes that many of them have.
My best advice for these are to just look up the overall meanings both upright and reversed just to have a general consensus of each card. Play around with them a lot, and interpret them the way you would as if you were making a story with them. You can also use them for spirit communication.
Calling forth a spirit allowing them to touch the deck (just leave it for a moment and allow them to influence the deck as it were before doing the spread). Holds a lot of power in your hands but is a little slow.
Pendulum
A pendulum is usually a crystal tied to a string or a chain that can be swung over a board of either yes or no or maybe for its options. Sometimes there is a mock ouija for the pendulum to spell out things as well.
Cool thing about a pendulum is it can be anything that swings if you wish. Some people I've seen take off their necklace and use it as a pendulum just fine. Just have a singular point and you can get to work anywhere with it. Please make sure to ward yourself from invading or malevolent spirits when you do this though.
Lots of pendulum or spirit boards exist and have different templates as well.
This is more of a call and response type of device to use. Especially when you feel a spirit present Still has a fair bit of control in your hands.
Ouija board
The infamous kids game works around the same way a pendulum does, except there is a planchette that slides over the board. This is a call and response based tool much like a pendulum. However, it is a little easier for the ghost to manipulate and control. Which is where all the stupid stories of ghosts completely taking over and fucking up shit takes place. Also, half of the biggest problems are just humans being humans which means victims of groupthink. So... stupidity. Someone freaked so you all freak...the energy gets bad and shit happens. Do your best to remain calm and just work through it.
Also no. ZOZO XOX 2O2O etc does not want your ass. Many spirits claim that shit to get a rise out of you anyway. Guys...no, I swear it does not happen. This is main character energy that none of us have...or want! Even if a demonic entity came in to fuck with you, there are plenty of other ways to do it. Be fucking for real.
Please remain kind and courteous to who you contact. Do not let your paranoia about this tool make you do stupid things. Always say goodbye when you are finished. Try and stay as calm as you can.
Never. Ever leave the planchette on the board unattended. Lest you get an unwanted guest or one that'll overstay their welcome.
Crystal Ball
Crystal Balls are a good way to detect energies. This is normally used in a private setting cause it desires a lot of concentration. Now, I'm admittedly not that knowledgeable in this because I don't use my crystal ball often.
Also, your crystal ball doesn't have to be clear. Mine is obsidian and I love her.
When having your question, focus on it and concentrate. Make sure it is open ended. I mean you can have yes or no, but it's gonna be a bitch to decipher a yes or no answer.
Close your eyes and let the answers come to you in the forms of images and colors and such, examine all you can as just let your intuition work.
Sounds simple but its a rather interesting art form to work on. Symbols and such can confuse you and it's heavy on your interpretation. I'm sure there's books and stuff out there for a general view of this symbol you see might mean this or that but...largely, this is a true test of how you read your intuition.
I'd do it more, if I wasn't closeted and lived with nosy closed-minded people.
C'est la vie.
One important thing though...don't leave your ball uncovered. Especially if it's clear. That's how you end up with burned shit. Those bitches are like mega magnifying glasses. And it happens faster than you think. Science is scary.
Mirror/Water Scrying
Mirror and water scrying is kind of the same as a crystal ball except it's a quicker and often less expensive way to work on your divination.
Some people have a specific mirror that they black out and scry that way. Others have a scrying bowl made for divination alone. It's just as good. You can use any bowl or mirror however. Just be sure to cleanse the area before you start and after you're done.
Some thank the water used for divination before putting it down the sink or in the earth. But that's more of an individual's choice/belief/faith than anything else.
Lots of occultism and spiritualism has a thing with mirrors being portals, openings, etc to the otherside and can bring some unwanted visitors.
And as someone who now sleeps with their mirror facing the wall now, I will say I believe a lot of what people say on that.
I want a goodnights sleep damnit.
Just be sure to cleanse your tools after use. Better safe than sorry.
ETC.
There's a lot of creative ways people can use these tools and magic. So don't think of magic as a recipe for how to be a witch or do witchcraft. That's half the fun of witchcraft.
Discovery.
Finding ways to do things, to hear, to see, to communicate. Yes there are certain tools that work better than others but, we as individual people also work in different ways.
There's a psychic out there who reads asparagus like bones. There's someone who will scry with a puddle on the ground they found. People have their own methods and ways to work their magic and we should learn from them. So if you have some non normal tactic or even something unsual, embrace it to the fullest.
I divine with music. If you ask me it's Apollo's influence. My spirits communicate with music.
When I meet people and get a good vibe on them a song comes to mind, and even if I forget your face, your voice, who you are, that song will remind me what I think of you. Songs pop up in my head when people associated with it are close.
I'm not going to say I'm the only one in the world who does this, cause that would be some bs. But its my tactic and its natural.
Do what is natural for you and not what other witches say you should do.
Even me, I beg you not to try and emulate or follow my advice down to a T if it doesn't work for you. Don't force it to work.
I am just one person, one voice spouting some advice. Take what you can from it, take what helps and work your own path. And then in turn do the same. I'm a path offering person not a director. But that's...just...me...
"But Sol, how do I speak to spirits?"
Talk.
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Yeah, that simple. Talk.
This can be in a lot of forms. Some write and burn letters to ancestors, or past family members. Set up a placement for talking to them. Admittedly, a lot of spirit work and communication is experimental. We just warn you over some things because they've happened enough for us as a collective to go ah, a pattern.
I have urns at home so it's pretty easy to say hello in that case.
I am NOT telling you to go into a graveyard and just go wussap. No. Some spirits don't want your tomfuckery. Also if they're feeling really chatty all at once you might get overwhelmed and you will not have a good time. Read the dead room.
Open yourself up. WARD YOURSELF FIRST! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODS. But yeah open yourself up. Learn how to open your pathways and close them first. That comes with meditating. Yes, this is why damn near all of us nag the shit out of y'all about meditating.
Just talk and listen. It won't happen immediately. It takes time and a careful ear. Remember signs to look for. You might spot them before you hear them. Small instances of shadows out the corner of your eye. A touch from nowhere, a shiver down your spine. Other things going off or being moved, etc. Slowly, someone or something will receive your message and try to respond in kind.
When you get these small responses, just keep calm and say hello or acknowledge what they've done.
"Oh, someone's here"
"Hello there"
"Are you still here?"
It'll be awkward (try to remember where you are, don't be a weirdo in public), but overtime you'll get better at it.
Conclusion!
Like any skill, spirit communication takes practice.
There are a vast plethora of ways to communicate with tools that I haven't mentioned as well, like automatic writing which is a pretty good beginner way to jump in.
Just have a pen/pencil on paper, write what comes to mind. Its a good way to practice hearing and catching signs as well.
And something I will never stop saying is you don't have to take this journey alone! Especially if you don't want to. Find someone experienced to start this journey with. Someone who calms you, who can support you. Support and asking for help is good. Last thing any of us want is for you to get hurt or scared out of doing this if this is something you really want to do. So call us, talk to us. Confide in more experienced people.
So many times on this site and other places, we are begging to form this beautiful network so we can help one another, give advice, hang out etc.
We are right here, just reach out for us. You'll get a hand back in kind.
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youandtom2 · 2 years
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i WANT peter to lose his temper with me.
Temper? Lost it, mate.
Themes: Rough smut (18+), Dom!Peter, bratty!reader, unprotected sex! and other kinky stuff, aftercare too :) also this is waaaaay longer and probs unedited towards the end cos it's 3:30AM
Don't You Dare
There are a number of reasons why somebody would lose their temper and for the average person, stress, depression, financial difficulties, family issues, and drugs and alcohol are just some of those reasons. Perhaps if you were prone to anger, something as simple as losing a game could even trigger an outburst. It's basic human function to want to liberate the anger that bubbles inside you and when it finally happens the tension unwinds. You recall the last time you lost your temper when some asshole unapologetically pushed your friend walking past her on the streets and she fell to the floor in a stumble. You berated him, shouting and screaming profanities at him with such raw emotion and it felt good to release that unrestrained character in an otherwise overly-polite society.
It was an instance when you realised that losing your temper provided others with a snapshot of someone's true character, see what they're capable of. And the same epiphany washed over you again the night Peter lost his temper with you.
Peter's outrage initially stemmed from losing fight after fight with an enemy he had been battling for months. He had truly met his match because every single encounter ended with Peter barely managing to escape and returning to you bloodied, bruised and boiling with an irrefutable rage that he couldn't simmer. It soured his mood being physically, mentally and emotionally belittled by this guy and you tried so hard to pick him back up again, giving him the shelter, the care, the support he needed before he faced him again but he valued none of it, too distracted by his plans for retribution to thank you. Every priority of yours was Peter. Every worry was Peter. Every fibre of your being existed for Peter. All this time, your thoughts were on Peter. But for him? His stayed rooted on that...guy. He was obsessed and if loving him wasn't going to shift that obsession, what could?
The more Peter devoted himself to defeating his enemy, the more you questioned the integrity of your selflessness because you were fed up, the whole routine was becoming tedious and tiresome. And okay, you weren't going to lie - maybe you were jealous. It was sick and wrong but you envied the villainous psychopath that was single-handedly stealing your boyfriend's attention away from you all the time. The same villain that turned you into the side-character in Peter's quest while he promoted himself to the main protagonist. So you figured that if you were to truly have Peter's attention for yourself, to have his whole mind, body and soul focussed on you, you needed to gain it. Gain it like that villain does.
So you made him lose his temper with you.
~~~~~
He's calling you again. It's late, it's dark and he's calling you for a pickmeup. There isn't a doubt in your mind that another one of his little standoffs with his obsession has gone wrong, and he needs you to save him, to be there for him like he expects you to be.
Not tonight, Peter.
You tell yourself he's fine and ignore the shrill ringing of your phone. You pan your attention back to the book you're reading, flipping through the pages without giving Peter a second thought.
The evening drifts in, time passing with rain battering against your window, the silhouettes of each little raindrop projected onto the page of your book by the orange lamp post outside. You turn the page, eyes expecting to see the words in front of you but the light dims and a bold shadow casts over your lap. Slowly, cautiously, your head peers towards your window to find Spider-Man, Peter, crouching upon the beams of your window sill. Without a word, he slithers in with a slight pant to his breath, perching himself onto your bed with his back leaning against the wall while you watch calmly. The raindrops drip from his curls to trace over the sharp angles of his cheeks, his jaw, the bob of his Adam's apple as he swallows thickly. Watching him triggers you to do the same knowing what's ahead.
When he finally speaks, his voice is hoarse and his cheeks have already started to flush angrily. "Where the fuck were you?"
To further vex him, you deliberately leave him waiting, firstly finishing the page you're on before calling out. "I was here."
"I called you."
"I ignored it." Peter presumed that you were going to come up with some sort of excuse, so when you blurt out the truth he tilts his head with those wide eyes boring into you. You, however, remain heavily occupied by your book.
"You ignored me," he clarifies. "When I was out there fighting, when I was trying to protect the city, when I was hurt...You. Ignored. Me?"
Your eyes barely budge from the page. "Yup." Pop the 'p'. Make him mad.
"Why?"
"Felt like it." The smile painted across your lips is sickly sweet and patronising that it has Peter twitching his brows in frustration. "Thought I would give you two a little more bonding time."
"Excuse me?"
"You know, you've spent so much time obsessing over him that I can't tell whether you're fighting him or fucking him." Eventually your head tilts up and your eyes meet his, his expression stuck in a stupor that's falling closer and closer to something a little more aggravated to your success. Peter brings himself up onto his knees in front of you, nevertheless you persist. "Or maybe it's both..."
Suddenly, an hysterical laugh cracks from his throat - only slightly wheezy - twisting his mask playfully in his hands and it catches you completely off-guard.
"Are you for real?"
Not a muscle moves out of place and not a word is muttered. You sit stone cold like a statue while he leans closer, spitting his words again like you didn't hear him the first time.
"Are you...fucking...for real?" A moment passes and when you deem him invariably vexed, you pan back to the book in front of you like Peter is a mere speck of dust floating in your bubble. Not a second later, it's violently ripped from your hands and thrown across the room and clatters against your bookcase. You don't even get to see what mess it makes because your jaw is snatched in his hand with a sharp squeak following behind it. "What is the matter with you? Huh? I get beat up to shit and you wanna be a brat?" Peter finds his answer in the way your eyes nervously flit to his lips noting how his jaw tenses. "You've got to be kidding me," he chuckles, chagrined.
Just when you think you're making progress, he releases his hold on your jaw and begins sauntering away from your bed in disbelief. "Nah, I'm not doing this."
In a moment of blind panic, you splutter something you'll know you'll regret later, but you're so close, so close to gaining what you've wanted for so long.
"Of course you're walking away. No wonder you get beat to shit, you're too weak." The words leave a bitter aftertaste in your mouth because you know you're never one to say something so cruel, so unprovoked, but you're desperate.
He stops. Turns. Pins you with his gaze and clicks his jaw. At first, he says nothing, letting the rain batting against your window fill the silence. Your heart is beating a million miles per hour and you're pretty sure he can hear that too.
"Weak?"
"Too weak." Aggravate. Irritate. Fuel the fire. Belittle him like his enemy does.
"And you think mocking me isn't going to get you hurt?"
Fuck.
"Because believe me," he says slowly, creeping closer until he has the pinch of your chin between his fingers. "I'm about to snap. And it'll to be you that'll be too weak to take it."
A breath, a gulp, and then..."Prove it."
When you told yourself you wanted Peter to lose his temper with you, you expected him to yell at you just like what you did with that guy on the street, hell, even throw things or have an emotional breakdown, as long as it was something that means you have his full, undivided attention. Then, once the yelling match had started, you would argue and prove your point to him that this would be the first time in months that he's focused on anything other than himself or his enemy, that you're fed up of unrequited love, pleading your case in the hopes that he would surrender and realise he's in the wrong.
That's not what happens at all.
Peter shows no hesitation when he pushes you hard against the bed with his hand coiling around the column of your neck and squeezing tightly. With no where else to look but up at him, his whole body quivers uncontrollably and you're not quite sure whether it's shivers from the rain or the full extent of his rage, regardless, it makes him look all the more threatening. He doesn't yell, in fact he doesn't say a word and the only breakdown you see is the barrier that holds back his anger, now free and untamed.
He holds you there long enough to have you spluttering underneath him, where your body begins to squirm at the weight of his pelvis mounting down onto yours.
"Is this how desperate you are, that you would go to the lengths of being a fucking brat to get what you want?"
"Well it works for him, doesn't it?"
"Don't you dare," he growls, his hand anchoring down a little heavier. "Why would you-" Peter stops himself and you watch the realisation gloss over his eyes. He lets loose just a stutter of a laugh, shaking his head and by the way he looks at you so disapprovingly, you know he's figured you out. "Oh, I get it." You feel his knees lock themselves tightly against the side of his hips and his head dips lower and lower until his lips brush the tips of yours. "This is all a cry for help, right?"
"You abandon me, Peter, all for that fucking asshole that does nothing but piss you off and beat you up. I'm the one looking out for you--"
"So your solution is to piss me off, annoy me like he does and expect me to retaliate and satisfy your needs. That was your plan?"
You slowly blink up at him, nodding your head with what room Peter allows you.
"Well it's a stupid fucking plan because you've got it all wrong. If you wanted my attention, all you had to do was ask for it."
You lick your lips, hesitant to fall bait to his trap. "Please-" you whisper.
"Nuh-uh. You're too late, sweetheart. I'm already furious with you. If that's what you wanted, that's what you get." His words bite at your skin with each syllable stabbing deeper and deeper into your apprehension. You don't get the chance to get your breath back when he yanks at your hands, holding them higher above you to attach them to your headboard, bound together with a single thwip! of his web shooters. Peter remains straddling your lap while he rips open your pyjama t-shirt in one swift movement and with a yelp from your throat, you flush at the sudden vulnerability.
Those fiery eyes roam your body, scheming and planning every precise movement that would inflict the harshest punishment your bratty nature deserves. Weak. The word runs circles around his head, taunting him in a choir of voices, ones that have previously spat the word to him...including yours. There isn't much he could do about the other voices, but he has you right there beneath him. He could deal with you right here, right now. He could snuff out that voice easily.
Peter pinches the buds of your nipples between his fingers, rolling them and plucking at them until he hears your groans grow louder. The pain is delicious, so overly stimulating that it's only beginning to make up for the absence of Peter's affection over the last few months. But you're needing more...
A sharp gasp floods your lungs the moment Peter takes your tits into his mouth, sucking and biting anywhere he can sink his teeth into. Peter keeps his eyes firmly on you while he salaciously swirls his tongue around the bud, nipping it with his teeth when you find yourself sinking too comfortably into the feeling. It's only when he pulls away do you see yourself being littered with patches of blue and purple, and scarred with teeth marks.
"Weak." He spits. "I'll show you what happens when you call me weak." His mouth travels further and further down your body and settles comfortably into a pattern of kissing, biting and licking your skin, that is until he meets the rim of your pyjama shorts, the only layer of clothing left to protect your modesty. As he pulls them down your legs, he deliberately pulls your body as far as your bounds would allow, stretching out the muscles in your arms until they're seizing with tension.
"Ah!"
"What's wrong? Too weak to take it?" You writhe and meekly moan as an alternative to the truth.
There's only a second of relief; the grip of Peter's hands loosens and leaves a trace of goosebumps as they feather up to the curve of your waist until, once again, his hold tightens, pulling and stretching. Your muscles start to burn.
"You feel that?" he asks, voice dark and weighty with malice. "You feel that stretch?" He gives a quick tug and you immediately respond.
"Yes!"
"That's nothing compared to how it's going to feel when I stretch you out with my cock, when I fuck that bratty attitude out of you. I was already pissed off when I came here, but now you've just tipped me over the edge." Nonsensical sounds dribble from your mouth in a concoction of pain and pleasure, giddy with the gift of Peter's undivided attention and an insight to his darker character. The tatty, torn suit falls from him revealing a body adorned with small, leaking cuts made to look miniscule by the sheer size of his muscles. When he resumes his position in between your legs, you can't stop the wanton mewl that spills from your lips. Peter smiles wickedly at the sound.
Suddenly, his fingers feather up and down the length of your slit and you instantly shiver. You indulge in it so much that you forget what Peter demands of you, but there's nothing like a harsh slap to your cunt to serve as a reminder.
"Tell me how much you want it."
"So badly-fuck! I want you, I need you - oh - " his fingers begin circling your clit, "Peter, please."
He speeds up, he's almost vigorous. "Do you have any idea how much I want to say no to you right now for being a fucking brat. Look at me--" He springs forward and catches the line of your jaw in his hand, still tormenting your bud with the other. "But I guess you're right: it's been far too long and I need to get rid of this frustration one way or another."
Peter diverts his eyes to your aching bud, watching his own movements as he swipes his fingers back and forth over and over again in a brutal attempt to make you cum. But he gets too impatient, too clumsy that you can't quite catch the wave of release building inside you and he's very capable of sensing that. He lets loose a raging grunt from his throat and finally snaps.
"Fuck this!" Your heart skips a beat, stomach twisting the moment his hot mouth latches onto your pussy, subjected to the delicious lashings of his tongue, eager to taste every part of you.
You've never seen Peter so out of control before; so unreserved that you determine he's been bottling this anger up for far too long and suddenly every reason to lose his temper has made itself apparent to him. He's finally feeling that sweet relief of tension now he's given it free rein. You're still yet to decide, though, whether that has placed you in an fortunate position or not...
Recklessly, Peter lifts your hips higher into the air and dives deeper into your core, caressing the sensitive nerves with generosity and it winds you up perfectly. You can feel the squeeze in your stomach getting ready to snap.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, Peter. Oh my god, please, I'm gonna cum. Ah!" A piercing scream leaps from your throat as Peter lands a harsh slap to the back of your thighs and proceeds to suckle harder, scaring you into submission like scaring a horse to run faster. It becomes too insatiable and with Peter eating you out like you are the elixir of life, you come undone in a matter of seconds with a burst of euphoria. A tsunami of heat consumes your entire body and it burns more ferociously everytime any one of your muscles tenses.
Satisfied, Peter departs with a tantalising kiss to your clit, dragging it out with his teeth before it releases with a pop. Once again, he brings down a forceful slap onto your other thigh, paired with the demand to turn and get onto your knees...which you do almost immediately. Your arms are slightly contorted but it doesn't matter when Peter hooks onto the crooks of your hips and yanks back, suddenly forcing your face deep into the sheets and your ass to clash with his now bare hips.
He teases a little, just ever so slowly pushing the head of his cock through the remnants of your slick that drips from your core, right up until it nudges your pulsing clit. His cock twitches at the slight hiccup and with what he wants to do to you, he knows it's only going to be the first of many.
"I'm gonna give you one chance to apologise for what you've done, sweetheart." The nickname's patronising, mocking.
Your survival instincts instantly tell you you should. But of course, you listen to the devil sitting proudly on your shoulder because that's who's been supplying your addiction to Peter's undivided attention, but it doesn't feel enough to be high on him, you need to be drunk on him too. And so, with such conviction that will be the death of you, you deliberately add fuel to the fire.
"Not a chance. I'm not as weak as you are."
"You little fuck."
With full, merciless force, he plunges into you. "Oh my God!" Your cries comes out cracked and broken much to Peter's delight.
Like a tyrant, he allows you no time to adjust and you swear you feel something snap inside you, the pain metastasising as quickly as it did the first time Peter fucked you, but it's over in seconds and you quickly find pleasure in his virile thrusts. The sound of his hips firing into yours is broken up with the even harsher sound of his hand cracking across your ass. No soothing relief after - just slap after slap until Peter eyes the cherry-red hand print visible on your skin. A soft whimper fills his ears.
"You provoke me, you deal with the consequences. God, fuck! I'm so fucking angry with you."
Your bed creaks loudly underneath you, threatening to fall apart if Peter doesn't relent, and with his frustration only fuelling his lust, it hardly seems likely he will.
"So fucking tight." He's in and out, in and out, taking the time to fully pull from you only to slam back in with the intention of stretching you further and wider. Peter's driven by the idea that the harder he fucks you, the more pleasure he'll feel when he reaches the parts of you he hasn't before, and just when he's within reach of the tip of your cervix, he pauses with a breath caught in his lungs. Fully submerged, he stops to grind your hips against his hilt to feel the tight grip of your cunt around him and you both release a wail that resonates in each other's ears. You clench harder and Peter buckles, your back taking the brunt of his weight where his chin hooks over your shoulder.
He doesn't know what motivates him to lick the outer shell of your ear, but he does it anyway, leaving behind words of a warning.
"I'm not done with you yet," he grunts, his words still laced with anger. His hands feel the outline of your body, curving round to grope the fullness of your tits. Until he's certain that he's left little fingertip-sized bruises, he uses that same powerful force to break the binding of your restraints with a yank of your arms. Strained and cramped, they immediately fall to your sides but that doesn't appease Peter too much - his hands need to be full, he needs you to feel the grip that you have on him as he remains deep inside you.
Now pulled behind your back with just the ease of one hand, it gives the other the chance to slither round your hips, sinking lower and lower until it feels the familiar shape of your cunt as it beckons to be touched. With not much use to you, your arms are now in Peter's possession as it gives him just that extra leverage to pull you into him just as assertively as he drills into you. In fact, the whole routine repeats again and Peter doesn't so much as miss a single beat, pounding into you just like before and he doesn't break a sweat doing it. You, on the other hand, attest to the burning desire riddling your mind that you're struggling to hold on.
"Come on, I wanna feel you. I know you want to cum all over me. I can feel it. God, you're so fucking wet." You can't deny him. The fragile drops coating your inner thighs and his fingers screams words that your mouth can't: you want to cum so bad. "Fuck," he groans again. "Squeeze me like that again and I swear to God it'll be the end of you."
"P-please, fill me up, Peter. Please!"
In a craze, Peter reaches for the nape of your neck, pulling you against him so quickly your head swims. He roams the entirety of your neck, licking and sucking patches of your skin before he finds your lips and greedily takes them into his possession. You moan into him, relishing your bittersweet aftertaste on his tongue as it violently invades the kiss.
How he still manages to rut into you with such animosity you don't know.
"You want me to fill you up?" Your only response is a drunk hum, sinking once again into his kiss that breaks just seconds later and curiosity brings your eyes to his. On the surface, they're dark, cavernous, but if you dig deeper, you start to unveil the ochre that the Peter you know most wears so well. It's only then do you realise he's being sincere and that he's searching for reassurance.
"Yes."
The corner of his lips flicker into a devilish smirk and you only catch a glimpse of it before Peter sends you hurtling forwards again. This time, you have the privilege of your arms to brace yourself against the fall.
With one hand still maintaining that constant attention to your clit, the other clutches the flesh of your ass. In that instance where you subtly push into him, something overtakes Peter and, no matter how impossible it seems, he becomes completely unstoppable. Panting, he pushes all of his weight into you and it stops any breath from leaving your lungs, your brain switching into panic mode with each unapologetic thrust.
"Thaaaat's it. Take it like a good girl--" your walls clench, a telltale sign for Peter. "You like that? Being my good girl?" He leans over and catches your gaze from over your shoulder. "You're going to keep being my good girl from now on. No more of this fucking bratty attitude, got it? I'm gonna make sure she doesn't ever fuck with me again."
With one, final, demanding thrust, Peter releases inside you and your whole body quivers as he inevitably stills. You feel like you've suddenly imploded, unfamiliar to the indescribable warmth that consumes you as it marries together with the pleasure you feel at your very core. For the first few milliseconds, your body surrenders to a certain numbness before it crystallises into something overpowering; the lightning before the thunder.
It completely distracts you from Peter only until the tight drag of his cock leaving you brings you back. Swiftly, he sinks lower, eyeing the delicious sight of his cum leaking for your cunt with a wicked grin gracing his lips. With just the simplicity of two fingers, he doesn't allow for any to go to waste and forces whatever escapes back into your clenching hole.
Content, curious eyes raise just inches higher, his fingers following soon after to circle the tightly pursed hole that he had mistakenly neglected this whole time.
"Peter, I can't--"
A dark chuckle leaves his lips, and how thankful you are that he listens to your pleas and decides to sidle closely behind you with a kiss to your cheek. Warmth against warmth, his arms hook tightly around your waist where his hand tenderly strokes over your stomach.
A blissful aftermath to a whirlwind of events.
It's you who eventually breaks the silence, that is, when you eventually get your breath back...
"You're...you're not still angry with me, are you? I didn't really mean any of those things I said to you--"
"No," he confirms, voice adamant. "But I was slightly annoyed with you."
"I know, I'm sorry. I could never think you're weak--"
"It's not about that," he interjects. You can feel him shuffle behind you, perching himself up onto his elbow. The hand hooked around your waist tugs a little, wanting for you to turn around so it can settle itself carefully against your burning cheek. There's a look of disappointment evident in his eyes, obvious enough even in the midst of admiration as he flicks between the different features on your face.
"I don't want you to think that you can't openly tell me what's bothering you. I know I've been distracted and distant, but if it really bothers you that much, tell me."
You take a deep sigh, pondering over your next words because when you truly think about what all of this was about, you start to feel...guilty. Selfish. Peter's just doing what he does to protect the city, like what he's always done and here you are acting the petty girlfriend because she isn't getting any attention. If anything, it's attention you don't particularly deserve given that you ignored him in a time of need, insulted his character and provoked him in a way you knew would drive him over the edge.
"I...I shouldn't really. It doesn't feel right telling you what trivial shit is bothering me when you've got a whole city to save. It doesn't seem fair, y'know?"
Peter's face tells of his dismay at your words. He wants to wait until you look at him directly before he contends your reasoning, but with regret diverting them elsewhere, Peter resorts to force. Smoothly, he positions himself inches above you, his arms locking you in place at either side of your head and demands for your attention.
"When I made you my girlfriend, I also made that promise to be your boyfriend. Spider-Man is just half of who I am, but your boyfriend is everything I am, so no matter how unfair you think it is for you to feel the slightest bit of unhappiness, know that it's my job to fix that, not Spider-Man's." He leans down to softly brush the tip of his nose against yours. "Okay?"
"Okay," you whisper.
"So promise me you'll tell me when something's bothering you, no matter what it is."
Peter's stomach drops at the smirk on your lips. "I don't know, I quite liked seeing you lose your temper--"
"Don't you dare, you little brat. Now promise me."
A large inhale fills your lungs and releases moments later, resolution clear in your words. "I promise."
"Good." With a smile on his lips, they encase yours; soft, warm, gentle, an apology but also in forgiveness, all of which is reciprocated in the way you kiss him back harder.
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aangarchy · 7 months
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https://www.tumblr.com/the-badger-mole/728723354757054464/how-would-you-improve-aangs-writing what are your thoughts??
So i'm not gonna keep reading this post bc it is tagged anti aang, anti kataang and a bunch of other tags i have personally blocked bc i do not like seeing posts that are actively hating on my favorite characters. Idk why you chose to send me something that is anti aang, when i am clearly an aang positive blog. Surely you're just trying to antagonize me.
I did read the first paragraph and let me tell you, boy is that blogger wrong. The question they were asked is how would you change the show's writing.
"In a word...accountability.
Aang, despite his own personal losses, never seems to grasp the gravity of the war. Season 1 would be more or less the same, but season 2 would open with him grappling with his part in the siege of the North. He would acknowledge that he was part of the reason a lot of people died that day, and it would lead into him confronting somethings about his duty, and eventually make him take his powers as the Avatar more seriously."
This is verbatim what happens in the show. The literal first episode of season 2, Aang has nightmares about him in the Avatar State. He hates feeling out of control, he's terrified of what he could do, how much damage he could cause. That's why when general Fong offers to help him master the Avatar State, Aang agrees. Fong also manipulated him, showing him wounded soldiers to tap into his empathy and get him to agree. Aang at this point understands the gravity of the war. He saw it first hand at the North Pole. Even at the seige of the north itself, Aang takes accountability for the state of the world before the battle even starts: "I wasn't there when the fire nation attacked the air temples. I'm gonna make a difference this time." Also: "he would acknowledge he was part of the reason a lot of people died that day" what at the battle of the north pole?? If anyone is responsible for the amount of death in that battle (which we don't have actual numbers of bc this is a kid's show, we know of One official death and that's Yue) it's the Fire Nation. Aang was on the defensive and fused with the Ocean Spirit while in the Avatar State. Why would he have to acknowledge or take accountability for that?
The rest of the post i just scanned over, but it was a whole lot of mumbo jumbo about Aang not deserving Katara, changing the writing so Katara would not reciprocate Aang's feelings (lol) and saying Aang should have to "work" for the Lion Turtle, as in like actively trying to find it i guess instead of it showing up like some sort of jesus?
The problem with the whole lion turtle thing is in Aang's time according to the wiki, lion turtles are supposed to be extinct. The one Aang comes across is the last one. There is no way Aang could have known that this 10.000yr old (probably older) creature was alive and willing to grant him the power of energy bending. The lion turtle came to find Aang by itself. It looked for Aang and lured him onto his back, to take Aang to the place of the final battle, and to give him the spiritual guidance he needed. Again idk how lion turtles work, are they creatures are they spirits, some secret third thing maybe (again, jesus? Idk). But they might be able to feel Aang's unrest about his destiny somehow, since the Avatar is half spirit.
Either way, i personally feel like the lion turtle is less of a deus ex machina than people are making it out to be, since the existence of lion turtles was foreshadowed in book 2, and since Aang did still have to "work" to take Ozai's bending, aka the whole "your own energy needs to be unbendable" which was still nearly Aang's undoing. He still had to fight Ozai mentally in order to overtake him, and that showed the real growth in Aang's character.
The entire post that Anon just linked is basically someone saying "i don't wike it" and changing everything up to make it arguably worse lol. Again, i think the goal was to antagonize me but whatever.
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ironstrange1991 · 11 months
Text
Strange Love (Part 5)
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Pairing: Doctor!Strange x Fem!Reader
Synopsis: When planning a new mission, Y/n ends up getting into a confrontation with one of the Avengers. Meanwhile, Stephen tries to convince her that she needs to learn more about her powers before using them in battle.
Word Count: 6,9k
Warnings: Y/n hates a certain Avenger and has a rather peculiar view of things. This can be uncomfortable for some people who don't agree with her point of view. Other than that, we have sexual content, basically oral sex and penetration with no protection.
A/N: I'm going to endorse all of Y/n's words on the matter at hand because (obviously) that's also my point of view on the matter.
PREVIOUS CHAPTER
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Chapter 5: Stand My Ground
Back in your apartment, you concentrated very hard not to think about Loki, but deep down you were feeling bad even though you knew you hadn't done anything wrong. You weren't cheating on Loki, you had been pretty honest about your feelings. You didn't feel the same way about him, something had changed and even if you hadn't said it word by word, he knew that Stephen Strange was responsible for this change. He just didn't know that the Stephen Strange of your universe was involved. You were happy. After so much suffering, you were feeling happy and you couldn't let guilt spoil that.
Tony and Pepper returned to the tower three days later on a busy Thursday. Natasha and Clint were there too, plus Banner and Rogers and Rhodes of course. You liked the feeling of having the Tower crowded with people you liked and cared about. Of course, if you could exclude Rogers from the equation you'd be happier, but that wasn't an option.
However, with Tony's return, you became aware of murmurs and conversations and soon you realized that something was going on, something they needed to sort out and that Tony wasn't telling you. You had no idea what it was and was too distracted to catch anything.
Your mind was lost on Stephen, always on him all day. It was your first thought when you woke up and the last when you went to sleep. You couldn’t deny you were in love with him. Those were definitely symptoms of passion.
Or love. Stephen’s voice sounded in your head and you were shocked.
I'm not the one doing this, sweetheart, you're actually distracting me from what I'm doing.
You smiled to yourself in total surprise.  “Sorry, I don't know how I'm doing this.”
“What are you doing?”  Tony asked coming in and approaching with both hands in his pocket.
Oops, dad caught us. Stephen’s voice teased you.
You concentrated on trying to end that mental link with him and were surprised when you could physically feel it slipping away. As if an uncomfortable pressure on the side of your head disappeared.
“You said you didn't know how you were doing it.”
You decided to stay close to the truth.
“This thing in my head, it's getting out of hand.”
He looked at you worriedly.
“Is everything okay, Tony?”
He smiled trying to hide his concern. “Well, I'm glad you mentioned that thing on your head... I need your help.”
You nodded. “Of course, whatever you need.”
He sat in the sofa next to you. There's a guy, we suspect he has weapons made with technology from Strucker's lab.
“What kind of weapons?” You asked already feeling anxious.
"The dangerous kind. Strucker was working with Loki's scepter.”
“The mind stone.”
Tony agreed.
“Does this guy have a name?”
Tony ran a hand over his face. “I don't know, Rogers knows him. I think he's called Crossbones." He shrugged “You know, nowadays any idiot gives himself a cool name...”
“What…?”
Tony looked at you surprised “Do you know him?”
You nodded. “Worked for Hydra. I know him, but Rogers knows him a lot better.”
Tony shooked his head. “Yeah, It looks like Rogers thought he was dead, but that's not what happened. He came to me asking for help to put an end to the guy.”
Your blood boiled in your veins and you got up. Why did everything that went wrong always have to be related to Steve Rogers?
“Lagos.”
“What’s that?” Tony seemed confused by your sudden irritation.
“Rogers lost him in Lagos. That's when it all happened. The Civil War.”
Tony didn't seem to keep up. “What civil war?”
You sighed in a rare moment of impatience with Tony. “People name big things that happens with the Avengers, Tony. I thought you knew that.” You sighed trying to stay calm. “That's not the point. The Civil War was when the Sokovia accords came out. The fight at Leipzig Airport, all that, that's what they call it.”
Tony nodded getting slightly more serious. Memories of the event flooded back to his mind, apparently.
“Rogers... everything that happened was his fault. What came later with the accords was a consequence of his actions and everything he did…”
Tony ran a hand over his face and seeing him shaken like that just by the memory of that event infuriated you even more, bringing out a protective instinct towards him that you didn't even know existed. Usually you were his protégé, but sometimes Tony needed someone to care for him. Though he liked the name, he was far from being iron made.
“What they did to you, the way they acted... and now he says he didn't solve the case?”
“Listen...” He ran his hand over his face. “I'm not going to defend the guy, he screwed up, but we need to solve this.”
“How can you take this so calmly? Tony, I cried all night when I saw what he did to you.”
Tony took your hand in his. “It doesn’t matter anymore. It's not about him, it's about the people who might get hurt if this lunatic decides to use these weapons. He asked me for help, I'll take over the case, but I need your help.”
He grabbed your shoulder. “Will you help me?”
You sighed. “Of course. I'll do anything for you, Tony.”
He smiled “And I for you.”
You tried to put your thoughts in order. “I'll try to locate him. Is that what you need?”
“Yes. Thank you, darling.”
It wasn't long before you managed to see Crossbones. The use of your mental abilities was starting to freak you out. You had no doubt that you had exceptional powers and abilities, but you had no control over them and wondered how far you could go without the help of someone who could teach you how to deal with them.
Crossbones had a secret laboratory in a disused power plant in Ukraine. When you told him what you discovered, Tony called a meeting to decide all the details of the plan for the attack and asked you to pass the information to the other Avengers.
“The plant has been deactivated for more than 40 years.” Natasha informed after researching the name and location that you gave her.
You nodded. “Only Strucker's men roam the place” You explained. “Anyone who stands in our way is an enemy.”
“They don't even imagine we're going, so it will be easier than we thought.” Rhodes stated. “I still think we should put the army in front of this.”
“If we use the army the government will know about the mission and it's not what we want”  Rogers said with his calm voice that always got to irritate you.
“We have the element of surprise, but it won't be easy” Tony explained. “Y/n took a look at the weapons they created.”
“The weapons are dangerous” You  said. “They have weapons with firepower equivalent to half the bomb used on Hiroshima. The others are even more disturbing.”
“What kind of weapons are we talking about?” Rogers asked.
“The dangerous kind” You replied dryly without looking at him. “They are weapons with cognitive-psychic powers.”
Natasha seemed scared and you knew the mind control thing was something that could mess with her because of her forced process to become a Black Widow.
“If they use it, they can turn us against each other” Banner said, understanding.
"It wouldn't be the first time something involving Crossbones has put one Avenger against another," You replied.
“So, what's the plan?” Nat asked.
“I came up...” Rogers started, but you stared at him and he stopped.
“I believe that the weapons reach the mind through a peculiar sound it makes, something imperceptible to our ears, but which has a cognitive behavioral effect.”
“In other words” Tony said smiling at you like a proud father. “Ear plugs developed with nanotechnology.”
Tony showed the devices you created together.
“What if it doesn't work?” Rogers asked. “Or if something goes wrong? We need a plan in case this goes wrong.”
“Like it happened in Lagos?” You asked and he didn't answer. Everyone was silent. “Explain to me, Captain, this is your mess, isn't it? Or does no one else remember what happened in Lagos?” You asked the others sitting now in dead silence. “All those people died because of you. “
“I made a mistake” He said staring his own hands.
“You made many mistakes and I'm sorry if I can't do like everyone else and pretend that nothing happened. Pretending that you and Wanda Maximoff weren't responsible for hundreds of deaths in Nigeria and swallowing your arrogant face wanting to give orders and make plans.”
Everyone was stunned, but you couldn't stop talking, the words just kept coming out of your mouth.
“The great Captain America. The first Avenger.” You looked at him spitting the words like they were poison in your mouth. “You're not living in a bubble anymore, Captain. The world just got bigger. There are bigger fishes now and if we take away the serum and your arrogance, what's left?”
Tony glanced at you understanding exactly where you got those words from.
Rogers remained silent. Fists clenched.
“I'll say... mistakes. It's what's left. Many mistakes. You can play nice all you want, but when things got really tough you weren't there to help. And I'm not talking about guns dealers.”
“Y/n…” Tony’s voice was shaky. “Let it go.”
But you just couldn't let go. Not when you'd seen in Tony's eyes how much it still hurt.
“The missile in NY? Tony. Sokovia in the air? Thor and Tony.”
You took a step towards him. “A spaceship has invaded Manhattan. Where were you?”
He looked at you, clearly shaken by your words.
“You were never there. You're good at making promises, but not very good at keeping them, are you? Unless of course we're talking about your dear friend Bucky. For him all promises are kept. All the... secrets.”
Tony ran a hand over his face.
“So when I say we have a plan, you accept the plan because this is your fault and we are cleaning up the shit you did. Don't question it because you have no right to question. You shouldn't even be here, but I'm not the one who decides, am I? I'm just suggesting that next time, unless you got your hand in that gauntlet and destroyed Thanos and his entire army with a snap of your fingers... shut the fuck up.”
Tony looked at you, clearly upset about the situation, but something in his eyes showed he was glad those words were spoken.
You sighed. “But I'm going to leave now, and you can put together a plan in case I'm wrong and the Captain is right. After all, he likes to be right, even when he rarely is.”
Rogers stared at you mutely as you left the room leaving them in complete silence.
You  went up to your apartment and made yourself some tea to try to calm your nerves. You knew perfectly well that you shouldn't have lost control, but you had it all stuck in your throat for years.
You drank tea slowly and distracted yourself finishing some French exercises that were already late and then your phone rang, it was Stephen.
“What you were doing unintentionally” He said. “I think I know a way to help you learn to control.”
 “ How?” You asked confused.
“Well... it involves other issues that I would like to talk about. Can we have dinner tonight?”
You thought for a second. “Of course. Yes, please, I would love to get away from this environment today.”
“What happened?” He asked confused.
“It’s nothing. Well, I'll tell you at dinner.”
“I'll pick you up at 8 pm. What do you think?”
“Great. Will you drive us there or just open a portal?” You asked teasing him.
“Unfortunately I don't think opening a portal it’s a very discreet way to enter a restaurant” He said laughing that deep and dazzling laugh. “At 8pm, then.”
“Can’t wait.”
You hung up the phone and Natasha was behind you.
“I'm sorry, the door was open.”
“No, it wasn’t.” You replied dryly already a bit defensive.
She nodded. “It wasn’t locked.”
“If you came here to scold me, it's a waste of time. Nobody in the world is going to convince me that Steve Rogers didn't deserve to hear that.”
Natasha nodded. “I didn't come to scold you. Rogers can be...difficult to deal with. You don't like him. You don’t need to.”
“Good, I'm relieved to know.”
“Actually I came to ask how you are” She said sitting in the armchair next to you. “After everything that happened... I didn't have the opportunity to say how sorry I am.”
You took a deep breath “Thank you, Nat. I'm fine, I'm feeling better.”
She nodded and then looked at the cell phone in your hand. “And does this improvement have anything to do with this date you are going to?”
You didn't answer right away which she took as a yes.
“Tony said you broke up with Loki”
“I  wasn't talking to Loki.”
She glanced at you with those watchful eyes and then she smiled. “I knew you guys had a thing.”
“We don’t.”
“Yes, you have.” Natasha smiled, seeing you fall into her usual trick. She seemed happy for some reason. “He's a nice guy.  Doctor, sorcerer...”
“Master of the mystic arts” You corrected her and she smiled, seeing you unintentionally confirm it.
“A little bit old and very old-fashioned with that goatee, but if that's what you're into...”
“Are you talking about me?” Tony asked and then apologized. “The door was open.”
“It wasn’t” You and Nat answered in unison.
Tony looked at you with his hands in his pockets. “Rogers left. I think you hurt him.”
You rolled your eyes.
“I came here to thank you. Really. But I don't think it's worth, Y/n... I've already tortured myself too much for everything that happened, I don't want you to suffer for me.”
You shook your head. “I'm sorry, Tony, I just... lost my temper.”
He agreed “That happens. He needed to hear... like twelve percent of everything you said.”
"The rest was a bit mean" Natasha said.
You smiled mischievously and he sat down next to you.
“We’ll keep the plan, then?” You asked.
Natasha nodded. “Apparently yes. It’s a good plan.”
“So, what were you talking about?” Tony asked and you gave Nat a serious look, pleading with your eyes for her not to say anything. She gave you a mischievous smile, but remained silent.
“Remember what I said about doing things I can't control?” You asked once again sticking to the truth.
He nodded.
“Stephen promised to help me. He said there might be a way to control it.
“That's great” He said seeming a bit confused “I didn't know you were talking after... everything that happened.”
You smiled “Stephen is a nice guy.”
“And he is a wizard” Natasha completed.
“Sorcerer” Tony corrected her.
“Is there a difference?”
“I think he prefers the term master of the mystic arts, but sorcerer works too.” You said.
Natasha stared at you with a smile “His goatee is old-fashioned”
“Come on, we're facial hair bros” Tony said indignantly.
“I think this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard” Natasha said getting up. “Anyway, say hi for me when you see him” She said winking and leaving.
Tony looked at you noticing you were staring at him. “What is it?”
You smiled. “I love you” You said hugging him tight. “You are the most important person for me in this world.”
He wrapped you in his arms a bit surprised with the declaration of love. “Then promise me you will never leave.”
You sighed heavily “I promise.”
You laid there cuddled with him and for a second Stephen crossed your mind and you wondered if your relationship with him, not that it was exactly a relationship, perhaps not yet, but your clearly wanted it to be. Anyway, you wondered if Tony would approve. His approval was very important to you because, as you said to him, he was the only one that mattered to you.
You were distracted with your chores when the doorbell rang. You answered and Pepper stood at the doorway smiling shyly.
“Hey, are you busy? I can come back later.”
“No. Come in.” You said. She looked apprehensive. “Is everything okay, Pepper?”
She smiled looking around your apartment. “Ah it's so beautiful here now that you put all your stuff. I helped Tony decorate.”
You closed the door “A feminine touch is always nice”
“Yeah, I contained a bit of Tony's extravagances too.”
You gestured towards the sofa. “Thank you for that. Well, sit, please.”
She sat down shyly and you waited for her to say why she was there.
She sighed “Thank you for saying those things earlier today.”
You were surprised.
“I wish I had the courage to say it myself many times, but I'm relieved someone did.” She looked away. “I sleep with Tony every night and I saw what that whole situation did to him. What fighting Thanos, using that gauntlet did to him.”
You nodded “Someone needed to put Rogers in his place.”
She agreed. “Tony suffered a lot from everything that happened, it was very difficult.”
“I know, I... I saw everything Pepper, I suffered from afar for everything that happened and I really wanted to be on his side, I really wanted to be able to say that he was right.”
Your eyes filled with tears that you wiped away.
“You said the other day that coming here was a mistake, but I don't agree. You were the best thing that ever happened to Tony. He needed a friend. He has Rhodes, but it’s not the same.”
You smirked. “Second best thing that happened to him, then. You are everything to him Pepper. You, Rhodes and Happy were the ones who kept him in line, you're the people who never turned their backs on him.”
She nodded. “He loves you very much” She said also getting emotional. “He cares about you, I care about you. You are very important to us. You are part of our family now.”
You shook your head “I know.”
“Tony doesn't think he needs it, but he needs us to take care of him. We are all he has and he is all we have”
It was 8 pm and you were ready to leave but you stopped thinking about what you would say to Tony. When he was home, he knew about everything, Friday kept him informed of who was coming and going and that made you rethink the idea of ​​going out by conventional means, but it was too late and you could see Stephen's car parked in front of the tower.
You took a deep breath and went down hoping not to bump at anyone on the way, but as you approached the exit, you saw Tony parking and getting out of the car with Pepper at his side. You watched as Stephen got out of the car and greeted him. 
“I'm sorry to inform you, but I’m not working today. Schedule an appointment with Ms. Potts.” Tony said and then looked at Stephen from head to toe. “It's even weirder to see you dressed like a normal guy, I thought you only wore your monk clothes” Tony said and as you approached  he noted you.
You were wearing a reasonably simple black dress, totally normal, but you still feared what he might think.
“I invited Y/n to dinner. I hope you don't mind” Stephen said ignoring Tony's provocations completely. “Hi, Pepper.”
"Hi Stephen" She replied, smiling.
Tony greeted you with a kiss on your cheek and then turned to look at Stephen. “I'm glad you mentioned it, because I...”
“He doesn't mind at all.” Pepper said answering for him. “Have a great dinner.”
Tony gave up on his argument and the two left, entering the Tower.
Stephen and You looked at each other laughing softly. “Are you sure this is the guy you love?”  He asked teasing you while opening the car door.
"Yes, I do" You said, smiling as you walked in. He turned around, started the engine and drove fast through town.
You had dinner at a beautiful Italian restaurant. Stephen looked even more handsome than the last time you saw him. You loved seeing him in a suit.
"Tony will ask questions" You said, sighing.
“Like everything else, Stark seems to think that you are also his property” Stephen replied looking at the drinks catalogue. You thought you felt a bit of jealousy in his voice, but you also could have imagined it.
“He feels responsible for me and I like having him around taking care of me. I've never had anyone to do that.”
He nodded with a smirk then called the waiter and ordered a shot of whiskey.
“What are you going to tell him if he asks about us.”
You thought for a moment. “I don't know what to say, but it won't take Tony long to figure it out by himself.”
He smirked. “The truth is always a good idea.”
The waiter brought his drink and a bottle of water for you. “Are you ready to order, sir.”
“No, not at the moment.” Stephan replied and the waiter nodded leaving you alone.
“Would it be so absurd to tell the truth?”  He asked and only then you realized how much he wanted that. He wanted Tony to know about it.
“No”
He smiled. “Tell him what you think is best, he will believe anything you say.”
You nodded and he took a sip of his drink and stared at you with those blue eyes seeming to pondering his next words. “Potts seems to handle the situation so naturally.”
“What situation?”
“That romance between you and Tony.”
You smiled. “She came to my apartment today to thank me for defending Tony. She said he needs people to take care of him. I think that proves that she's really okay with our relationship.”
Stephen seemed incredulous “And what did you have to defend him from?”
You sighed. “Not what. Whom. Steve Rogers.”
“Oh, are they fighting again?”
You shrugged. “There is a mission to solve. A madman with psychosomatic weapons made from the Mind Stone. It turns out that this guy is only alive because Rogers faltered and everything that came after, the Sokovia accords, was a consequence of that mistake.”
Stephen shook his head. “I remember all the news at the time, I was still working at the hospital in Manhattan.”
“Please don't tell me you sided with Rogers.”
He denied it. “Both sides seemed wrong at the time.”
You strongly disagreed, but didn't say so.
“Tony asked me to help him find these guy. I found them in Ukraine. We will attack the location and take the weapons. Tony and I put together the plan with the information I got, but Rogers didn't seem to trust my abilities and I ended up losing my temper and saying some things he needed to hear for many years.”
Stephen frowned. “You said we”
“What? Did you hear what I said?”
He nodded “You put Rogers in his place” He said impatiently. “Is it serious that Stark is going to put you in the field on a mission with psychosomatic weapons?”
You blinked surprised with his annoyance. And the way he put it made you falter. “I... haven't asked him yet, but…”
He sighed in relief. “I'll speak to him personally so he won't let you go.”
“Stephen!”
“Listen, I know you feel you can do this and that's what you want, but it's too dangerous and you need training. We barely know how to deal with these skills, imagine in a battle!”
Part of you was ecstatic that he had referred to the situation using "we", indicating that he felt responsible for you, but you strongly disagreed. “I need to help Tony”
“If you want to help him the best way to do it is in the safety of the Tower and not in the field where he will be worried about you and may make mistakes for not being focused on the mission.”
When he put it like that it seemed too obvious. You went silent.
He extended his hand across the table and you took it. “At some point you will become an important part of the Avengers. Your skills can be of extreme help to them, but right now you need to focus on learning to control them.”
I nodded “You're right, I'm being naive.”
He denied “No, you are thinking of defending him as you did when he argued with Rogers, but Stark knows how to take care of himself, I saw him fighting, he is very good.”
You nodded and then he smiled trying to change the subject.
“What happened earlier today, you were having difficulty concentrating, left your mind open and vulnerable for a long time.”
You blushed –“I'm sorry, I don't know how I did that.”
He smiles “You don't have to apologize. I'm glad it happened to me.”
You smiled at him a little sheepishly.
“But it could be very dangerous if in my place it was someone who wanted to harm you, so I suggest we work on that.”
“I don't know how to control it. I didn't do these things before.”
He looked interested “Tell me how this all started.” You thought for a moment trying to remember “They were thoughts. I dreamed sometimes, I could hear things that happened, but they were just suggestions, but it was enough for me to know it was real because I could feel it.” You shook your head “I don’t know how to explain”
"Is that how you made the decision to come here to find Stark?"
You nodded.
“And when did it start to change? To evolve.”
“When I got to NY, I...”
He waited watching you with those suggestive eyes.
“I didn't get the reception I thought I would. Everyone was worried when I arrived, some of them wanted me to come home. Only Tony, Pepper and Natasha stayed by my side, but I still felt like a fish out of water. I felt alone and Thor was all over the place with all that agonizing sadness.” You sighed.
"Keep going" he said.
“His sadness implied an absence...”
Stephen seemed uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation.
“I started thinking too much about Loki. If all this was real, these people, I wanted him to be there, for him to be real for me. But he was dead. Killed by Thanos or so we thought.”
Stephen understood “It was your first mind connection. With Loki.”
“I didn't realize what I was doing. It wasn’t intentional.”
Stephen's discomfort implied a jealousy that was strange and new to you. He barely mentioned Loki's name  “And so he answered. How?”
“ You felt your face blush “He came to me first in my dreams and one night he was in my room. It was the first time I saw him.”
Stephen sighed looking around, called the waiter and turned back to you. “Ready to order?”
You agreed and you ordered your food. You weren't really hungry.
“It's possible that your abilities were suppressed by the environment you lived in. Your parents house was hostile, I imagine, once you decided to leave it all behind and just ran away.”
You nodded, uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation but knowing that at some point it would have to come out.
Stephen soon realized that you didn't want to talk about it and moved on “But once you moved away from the environment that oppressed you your abilities began to expand immeasurably because there was no longer a barrier blocking it’s development, on the contrary, you said that Thor it made you think of Loki, so he was a trigger.”
“But then it kept increasing” You said still confused and trying to understand everything he was explaining to you. “With Loki's presence the visions began and now this...”
Stephen sighed. “Well, the stimulation with Loki around have also increased” He said against his will “The presence of Loki, your sudden relationship with him... I believe that what we are seeing is only a fraction of your capabilities and that they will increase a lot more.”
“My sudden relationship with Loki.” You repeated slight offended.
He grimaced. "It wasn’t exactly a healthy thing."
“Why not?” You asked still not understanding.
“Oh sorry, I thought it was implied in my face of disgust the whole time…”
“It's as natural as any other relationship...”
“With Loki? The god of mischief? Literally  the father of lies…”
You could barely answer and he realized he had overreacted so he just stopped talking.
“It wasn't sudden. I've always been drawn to Loki.”
He agreed sighing “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have spoken like that.”
You agreed and went back to the subject that really mattered. “I'm afraid of these skills, Stephen.”
“You need to learn to have control over them” He said understanding that you were upset “With the right direction there is nothing to fear.”
“Will you teach me?”
He smiled proudly. The idea seemed to amuse him, but he denied it. “Wong would be a better teacher, he has experience and discipline.”
You hesitated a bit “I don't know if it's a good idea, Wong is... too serious.”
Stephen let out a small laugh. “Maybe this is what you need. You need to take this issue more seriously.”
You nodded “I don't understand why I have this... thing. No one in my family does these things. They are normal people. Boring people.”
“Magic, contrary to all the bullshit we see in pop culture, is not hereditary, it is an individual condition that develops in evolved minds.”
“I don't do magic, Stephen.”
“You’re sure?”
You rolled your eyes. “Oh sure, I'll become the next Sorcerer Supreme.”
He smiled  “The Ancient One would have liked you. And she would be the best mentor you could ever dream of having. She taught me everything I know.”
You sighed knowing that it hurt him to think about his mentor. “I'm sorry you lost her. I’m sorry it was too soon.”
He nodded “She told me that she saw all the possibilities of my future. I wonder if she foresaw the things I did and everything that happened after.”
You held his hand “You and Tony saved the world. You are a hero, Doctor Strange.”
He smiled but seemed to disagree “Many people fought that day to save the world.”
“But it was you and Tony who made everything work.”
He agreed in disagree apparently.
You had dinner and got back in the car, Stephen pulled you in for a kiss before starting the engine and driving back to the Tower.
He stopped in front of the entrance and you stared at him confused.
“Won't you come in?”
He denied “I'd rather not risk bumping on Stark again.”
You pulled him to your lips, thrusting your tongue into his mouth in an extremely sexual kiss that demonstrated how much you wanted him.
He smiled cocky. “Wait for me upstairs.”
You smiled in agreement. You went up in the elevator, went straight to your apartment and found Tony waiting for you on the sofa.
He smiled. “I was worried, I needed to see you before bed.”
You closed the door and went to him sitting next to him “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything is fine. I just... with everything that happened I think I am traumatized. Knowing you're not in the tower made me anxious, that's all.”
“I'm fine, you don't have to worry about me all the time, Tony. I don’t want to be a burden.”
He scowled "You only have me to worry about you, I need to make this right. And don’t ever say that again. You are not a burden"
You smiled reassuringly. “Pepper was here this afternoon. She came to thank me for what I said to Rogers.”
He looked surprised. “Really?”
“She cares about you, I care about you and you care about me. I guess that means it's normal to worry about the people we love. We are family, Tony.”
He agreed. “Yeah, you’re right, but let's face it you scared me a few times, like the last few weeks.
You nodded “ I'm sorry.”
“That's okay. Let’s try to put a stone on it.”
You smiled and he hesitated looking curious “But then... going out to dinner with Doctor Strange... I have to admit that it surprised me.”
You smiled trying to sound as casual as possible “He wanted to talk about my skills. He wants Wong to help me to learn more about them. That’s all.”
Tony agreed “That's good. It’s a really good idea.  Will you?”
“I need too.” You agreed trying not to show how nervous you were. There would be no way to explain if Stephen opened a portal and entered there and considering that the Sanctum was not that far away and Stephen drove very fast, this could happen at any moment.
Tony sighed “I like to see you living in this apartment, doing your thing, having friends. I want you to feel well here, it's your home.”
“I know. I will never be able to thank you enough for everything you did for me.”
He got up. “ Just promise me you’ll stay around. You won’t leave. That’s all that matters.”
You smiled “I won’t go anywhere, I promise.”
He smiled then got up “I'll let you rest, now. Goodnight, darling.”
You hugged him tight, stronger than the casual moment asked and he noticed and squeezed you in his arms too. “I Love you, Tony. Good night.”
You  stood there as he left and closed the door. You loved him so much that your chest hurt, You had never loved anyone the way you loved Tony.
You turned Your attention back to the moment and went to your room. You went to the closet and took off your clothes, leaving only your lingerie and you smiled when you heard the soft squeak of the portal opening in the bedroom. You went to him and leaned against the wall, he came to you, both hands on your face and he kissed you deeply and you hold him by the nape of his neck and he pulled you to his lap, your legs wrapped around his hips and he put you on your sideboard leaning against the wall
"I thought you weren't coming" You said into his lips.
He kissed you smiling on your lips “How could I not to come after that kiss?”
You tugged on his suit to get rid of it and he unbuttoned his shirt and took it off. You caressed his bare chest, your lips moved down to his neck and shoulder and you bit down gently there.
He unfastened your bra and took it off and cupped your breast in his hand squeezing gently as his lips trailed down your neck.
"Tony was here a minute before you arrived." Your legs tightened around him, yearning for his touch.
He gently lowered your panties.
“I don't want to talk about Tony Stark right now” He said taking your panties off and then he kissed you again tasting your lips slowly.
“Do you think he would mind if he knew about us?” You asked on his lips.
He brought his hand to the middle of your legs and stroked there gently and then he thrust a finger inside you slowly moving it back and forth.
“ Right now, I really don't care” He said lowly forcing his finger and then put another one penetrating slowly.
You moaned squirming in his hand as he watched you melt away in pleasure. He smiled and kissed you and then picked you up and put you on the bed and spread your legs further with his hands. His lips trailed down your stomach to the inside of your thigh and dipped between your legs where he licked and sucked masterfully, his beard brushing your skin there and the feeling was so good,  you could barely contain yourself.
You moaned loudly holding his hair and he continued and your legs shook with the uncontrollable pleasure he gave you. You pulled Stephen back to your lips and he kissed you smiling while turning his fingers inside you to touch exactly the perfect spot he knew your loved.
“Stephen...”
He penetrated two fingers while stroking your clit with circular gestures of his thumb and you squirmed in his hand and he smiled smugly, completed satisfied of seeing you melting beneath him.
He got up taking off his pants and underwear and came back between your legs making way with his waist. His cock already totally hard, he caressed it for a second and your eyes didn't leave him. He put his fingers on you again feeling all your wetness and then put only the tip on your entrance, hesitating, analyzing, provocating you.
“Stephen…”
He forced himself to enter you with a single thrust and you moaned loudly squirming under him feeling all his huge cock inside you. He leaned back on the mattress and fucked you hard and fast understanding that was the way you liked it.
...
You woke up in the middle of the night and Stephen was sleeping beside you on your bed. You stood there watching him sleep. There was no reason to deny it, You were completely in love with him. He was perfect in everything. The man was a god of sex. He had made your cum three time only in that night.
You got up and dressed your hobby and left the room. You were heading towards the kitchen when you noticed something in the living room and screamed scared.
“It's okay, it's me.” He said leaving the meditation position in which he was. Floating.
“What the hell are you doing?” You asked staring at his scary astral form. He looked like a ghost.
“Meditating... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.”
You stared at him in disbelief. “You're sleeping... how do you do that?”
He smiled. “My body needs to sleep, my mind on the other hand needs to stay active, I like to enjoy the night.”
"That's weird" You said.
“I shouldn't do that here, you're right…”
“It's okay” You smiled looking at him.
“Give me a second, I'll be right back” He said disappearing and you went to the kitchen to drink water. You heard the door opening and he appeared with a sleepy face smiling “That's better.”
He walked over and kissed you softly on the lips.
As you had completely lost sleep you decided to put the kettle on to boil and make some tea.
"Your mind also needs to rest" You said, scolding him.
He agreed “I don't do this every night, well most nights.”
You sighed understanding that there was no point in arguing “You almost scared me to death.”
He sighed leaning in the counter and then changed the subject “You asked me before if Tony would mind if he knew we were together…” He sat on the counter watching you prepare the tea. “Would you like him to know?”
“I'm tired of secrets, Stephen” You said “I’m tired of doing things in secret thinking about what they would say if they knew, but as much as I don't want to care about what everyone has to say...
“You care for what Tony has to say.”
You nodded “He's not just anyone.”
Stephen thanked you when you handed him the cup of tea.
“I don't know what we're doing Stephen, I don't know where you want to go with this, but... you know I'm in love with you and I don't want to have to keep hiding.”
“There is no need to hide it” He looked at you seriously “When you left the Sanctum that day, Wong asked me if I was sure about what I was doing … about you”
“And what did you say”
He cupped your face and pulled you closer to him “That I'm in love with you, that all the things that happened brought us together and that I feel like you're the only person who understands what I'm going through since...”
“I know.”
He smiled “I understand that you have doubts about us, but I don't. Let them know.”
You smiled sipping your tea.
“Do you think Stark would mind?” He seemed concerned about your answer. He was beginning to understand that Tony had a huge influence on you.
“I think Tony wants to see me happy. He's already worried about me too much.
Stephen nodded and then chuckled “Romanoff hinted a while back that we'd have something, Stark wasn't too happy about the idea.”
“When did she say that?”
“When we were trying to rescue you from him.”
You nodded “It's impossible to fool Natasha, she realizes things even before we do. She knows I was going to have dinner with you yesterday.”
He agreed.
You put your empty cup in the counter “I need you to tell me what to do, I... I don't know how to handle any of this alone.”
He hugged you resting his head on your chest and you stroked his hair. You  held his head and kissed him sweetly on the lips. He smiled at you “You'll be fine and you don't have to do anything alone, never again.”
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stratossphere · 1 year
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jealousy | v.v
ville only has so much patience for talkative men in bars.
warnings: fluff!, fistfight in the beginning, everyone’s a little drunk, suggestive language
word count: 4.3k
— —
One thing that you ultimately had to accept when you'd started to include yourself in the life that came with Ville’s popularity and the crowd it drew in was that there were always going to be people. No matter how much privacy you battled for, there would always. be. people.
So, tonight was no different. Despite the fact that you were in kind of a shitty bar in the bowels of Philly, you could tell soon after you both arrived that there were going to be some of those people.
Albeit, it wasn't as bad as it could've been, because although you were staying with Bam, you and Ville were out on a half-drunk version of date night, so it was just the two of you. But, despite not being followed around by one of the most famous faces in Pennsylvania, you still had fame painted on your own faces. And people in bars never treated you normally when they recognized your face off of some magazine or movie poster. No, they waited until you were alone and then basically crawled up your ass the first chance they got.
"—then phone called me from downstairs while I was pissing last night just to ask me to give him a condom when he knows mine won't fit him." Ville was in the middle of a lengthy complaining session over Bam's past week discretions against him, and he patted your leg animatedly for emphasis every so often where your feet were resting in his lap across the booth. "You can hear those two screaming at each other all hours of the night down there. It's fucking ridiculous."
"You wanted to visit." You reminded him pointedly, making a face when you noticed that, once again, both of your glasses were empty. "Go get the next round."
"Fuck no. It's your turn." Neither of you wanted to get up, because if you did, people would no doubt come up to the bar while you were trying to order and avoid respecting any personal space in order to talk your ears off. They'd been doing it all night, and every time one of you got up it seemed to be somebody else.
"But I don't want to talk to anyone." You whined, glancing warily in the direction of the bar. You needed to find more low-key places for your very rare date nights. Ville just snorted and shook his head.
"Neither do I. Get me another Heineken." He patted your leg once more before he was shoving your feet out of his lap, signaling that he'd made up his mind about who was getting up. You shot him a venomous look as you stood, waving him away when he reached out to smack your ass with a grin before you were mentally preparing yourself to head up the bar.
Of course, as soon as you reached it, the same guy that had been clearly trying to put himself out there to you was right back at your side. The only reason you’d escaped him the first time was because he'd gotten distracted by one of his friends shoving him from behind.
"Oh, you're back! How's your night going?" He shouted over the music right in your ear as you leaned in to order more drinks, standing way too close as he did so. You barely glanced in his direction as you finished ordering, hellbent on getting him to leave you alone due to the fact that this was the fifth time he'd asked you that same question since you and Ville had arrived. However, that clearly didn't fly, because he cleared his throat loudly and then his hand was on your shoulder. "Hey! How's your night!"
"Still good. Still on a date, since you last asked me." You were kind of getting annoyed, and it was unintentionally apparent in your tone as you finally caved and acknowledged his presence while shrugging out of his touch.
"Come on. You didn't need to bring up the date thing. I'm not trying anything on you." Coming from someone who, clearly, was trying several things on you. "I just wanted to see how you were doing. You don't look like you're having much fun."
"It's because I have resting bitch face! I am having a good time!" You admitted, motioning to the mostly-dead look that often plagued your features. Admittedly, his pestering wasn't making that look any better, but still. He laughed loudly.
"Hey. I'm not trying to be a douche. I'm just saying that girls like you should smile more." Girls like you. Wow. That was really a winning line right there. And, to add onto it, he decided to reach his hand out and rub it down your arm. You moved away slightly.
"My boyfriend makes me smile all the time. Guess you just have to be funny to pull it out of me." You made a point to direct his gaze right over to where Ville was sitting, and in that moment you noticed that said boyfriend had completely turned to face the bar and was scowling in your direction. The man next to you must've been drunk enough to where your subtle insult rolled over his head, because he just shrugged.
"He doesn't look like he's having a good time, either. Maybe you're just not right for each other." Ah, blind advice from strangers who wanted to get in your pants. The most eye-opening, if you did say so yourself. You laughed at that, and his eyes just went serious. "See? Now you're smiling. I make people laugh instead of brooding in dark corners and giving women dirty looks."
"No, I'm laughing at the fact that you think you know whether or not we're right for each other. You're just some guy in a shitty Pennsylvania bar." You were really wishing that the bartender would hurry up with your drinks, because it seemed like with every word he spoke this guy got closer, and you were getting really sick of being nice. Especially because, despite how many times you moved away, his hand found its way back onto you somehow.
"Ditch him for the night and come up here and sit with me. Let me show you what you're missing out on." Just as he gave out his ridiculous offer, his hand reached out, sliding to grip your hip so that his palm was touching the bare skin above your belt line. Okay. Now you were fucking done.
You made a face at the touching, which he clearly saw, but before you could even move or speak, his hand was being ripped off of you, and then it was in a death grip as a familiar tattooed arm came into your peripheral view. Thank fucking god.
"Keep your fucking hands to yourself, cunt." Ville had clearly had enough of watching from where he’d been sitting, and the look in his eyes told you that your night at the bar probably wasn't going to end on a smooth note. As if you cared.
"Chill, dude. Your girl is the one being a bitch." Mind you, this guy was 5'7 at best, and Ville, who was right in his face staring with the guy's wrist twisted in his grasp, completely dwarfed him in appearance. It was actually kind of funny, ignoring the circumstances.
"What? Because I wouldn't flirt with your ugly fucking ass?" You spat, wishing that your drinks had been delivered by that point so you could've poured your beer right down his stained Guns n Roses t-shirt. Fucking prick. Ville held you back where you were trying to get around him and throw something else (preferably your fist) at him instead, but god be damned if you weren’t pushing.
"Oh, believe me. It wouldn't have taken much more to get you to go bend over in the bathroom." And that was the final straw. Before the words were even fully out of his mouth, Ville let out a sound of disbelief, reached forward to grab the guy by his hair, and then proceeded to spit right in his face before throwing a right hook that hit the guy dead center in his nose with the metal of Ville's rings.
And then all hell broke loose.
As soon as the guy registered that Ville had just basically destroyed his nose, he started screaming and throwing his hands out wildly, only to be shut right up when Ville threw a second punch that connected with his mouth. Then people were trying to pull Ville back, you were getting shoved out of the way, and everyone was shouting at each other.
So, as a result, your date night was quickly cut short in the same way it usually was. The both of you got kicked out. But, for once, you weren’t even mad.
"I can't believe you did that. That was so fucking hot." You gushed as you followed Ville out into the street, basically being yanked along by his tight grip on your upper arm that hadn't ceased since he'd first grabbed you to prevent you from being shoved back away from him.
"It was not hot. Why does it always have to get to the point where we get kicked out in order for us to enjoy our night?" Ville grumbled, finally easing his grip on you once you were far enough from the bar to where you wouldn't get in trouble for hanging around. You felt a light smirk tugging at your lips when you got a look at his reddened knuckles that still had flecks of blood on them.
"Are you actually that mad about it?" You were a little surprised. Usually it took Ville a lot to get beyond the 'slightly irritated' level of his anger. Sure, sometimes he got really drunk and just started getting into fights for the hell of it, but to see him throwing genuine punches was very rare.
"His hands were all fucking over you, Y/n. Of course I'm fucking mad." He snapped, glaring at the bar as if he thought that if his dirty look was harsh enough, it would kill the guy still inside. You smiled and took his hand in yours, swinging it back and forth languidly as you both walked.
"So...you punched him because you were jealous." You concurred, giving him your best shit-eating grin as he glanced down at you with a dirty look at your words. You then leaned your head against his shoulder and let out an over-dramatic, pleased sigh. "You're so romantic."
"Will you shut up? I wasn't jealous, I was defending you because he was basically calling you a whore." He rephrased, shrugging you off of his shoulder because you were annoying him. You raised your eyebrows at him telling you to shut up, yanking on his arm just slightly when he pushed you away just to see that irritated look again.
"A lot of people have called me a whore before. Maybe it just means I am one." You were just playing for a reaction, and you knew you were going to get one. You saw his look change into one that suggested he was about to delve into a lecture, and you tried to keep your laughing to yourself as you quickly shot to talk over him so that he couldn't yell at you for poking. "You look so hot when you fight, you know that?"
"Yeah? Is that why you let yourself get groped a million times before I did something?" Sometimes it was unfortunate that Ville had such a high tolerance to alcohol, because where you were in your five-beers-deep giggly stage, he was still completely, irritably sober. You groaned.
"Babe. The last time I did something, you chewed me out for like, half an hour." And that was as a result of a long list of other times you’d done something. Or were just being an idiot in public. Either one worked. "Tonight was a patience exercise."
"Maybe you just shouldn't pick bars for dates anymore." Ville muttered, giving you a knowing look as he no-doubt recalled several different instances of drunken escapades going violent. You liked to have real fun, okay?
"But you're so fun to drink with. Candlelit dinners are stupid." You complained, ducking under his arm where he was still holding your hand so that he was forced to wrap it around you whether he liked it or not. He chuckled at that, which made you feel a little bit better about everything.
"I fucking love you." He lifted his hand from your shoulder to cup your head and pull you in so that he could kiss the top of your hair before shaking his head in amusement. "The only girl in history who chooses getting groped in a dirty bar over a romantic, candlelit dinner."
"Are you saying I'm not romantic enough?" You scoffed, pulling away from him slightly so that you could put on your best show of looking offended. He shrugged, letting go of you as you pulled further away.
"I didn't say anything." There was a playful smirk on his face, and you shook your head in disbelief as you walked backwards so that you could be in front of him whilst actually looking at him. There was no way Ville Valo himself, who was infamous for going on about how he didn't like stereotypical romantic acts, was telling you that you weren’t romantic enough.
"Some of us can't write songs. Or draw. Or play instruments." You complained, listing off all of his romantic advantages against you. He already had all the good hobbies for a job, and all you could do was tell him how handsome he was and bring him to bed when he passed out drunk on the floor.
"Those aren't romance. Those are my profession." Ville pointed out very obviously, slowing down slightly so he wouldn't walk right into you due to the fact that you weren’t tall enough to keep his fast pace (especially backwards). "There's romance in beauty and the feelings it produces."
"What does that even mean?" Sometimes he was a little too poetic for your understanding. Also, sometimes he had a habit of quoting lyrics to songs that no one had ever heard and that you definitely weren't going to catch. "Talk normally or you're going to give me a migraine."
"It means that I feel fulfilled when it comes to romance because of how I feel by just being with you. Love and romance are an experience, not just a feeling that you're supposed to conjure up on your own through stupid gestures." That still didn't qualify as talking normally, but you didn't even care because of how (goddammit!) romantic it was. "Stop walking backwards or else you're going to trip, love."
You stopped walking completely then, because his words had left you effectively speechless, and he seemed completely confused by the fact. He stopped too, and then you both were just standing face-to-face, you looking like a love-drunk (and regular drunk) idiot and him looking slightly inconvenienced.
"No stopping. We're going somewhere." He clearly didn't want to acknowledge the weight of his words, because he took your hand and pulled you right along, not giving you the chance to kiss him ten times in a row like you wanted to as you resumed your path. You weren’t quite sure exactly where you were going, because you’d been diverting down side streets for a while and were nearing the forest that Bam had grown up playing in, but you weren’t exactly about to argue. He was mostly sober, and you didn't have anywhere to be in the morning.
It took a little while of Ville muttering under his breath and backtracking every-so-often, but eventually you got to what you determined to be your destination, which you were pleasantly surprised to determine was one of the fishing docks in front of the lake to the left of the forest.
"Here. Now you can act like a drunk bastard and no one will put you under house arrest." Ville announced as he led you onto the dock, his boots kicking up flecks of wet leaves and splinters as you walked across the wood. You laughed, and then gasped in excitement when he opened his jacket and pulled out a full bottle of Jäegermeister. Romantic in a completely different sense of the word.
"No fucking way! Where did you get this?" You accepted the bottle eagerly, dropping down once you got to a certain point on the dock and then motioning for him to do the same. He came down next to you, reaching out to open the bottle for you before you could even ask.
"They had it out on the bartop when they were telling you we had to leave. Thought we deserved it considering that bar was a shithole." He said casually as he watched you take a small drink. Sure, you were away from the public, but getting ridiculously plastered right next to a lake when you had a habit of getting a little unsteady on your feet under the influence of alcohol probably wasn't the best idea.
"Y/n Valo has a good ring to it, doesn't it?" You joked, wiggling your eyebrows at him as you handed the bottle over so that he could take a drink. A wide grin broke out on his face at that, and he chuckled and shook his head as he took a much longer swig than you.
"It does. If you say it the right way." He then proceeded to pronounce ‘Y/n Y/m/n Valo’ in the thickest Finnish accent he could muster, his tongue rolling almost every single syllable as he spoke. You made a face, because he knew just as well as you did how infamously terrible you were at pronouncing words the same way he did (besides his name, which came naturally at this point).
"Yeah, whatever. I'll just get your name tattooed on me or something." You grumbled, leaning against his shoulder and then dropping your head to rest on top of it. You then grabbed his hand, twisting one of the ten rings on his fingers around slightly. "When we get married someday, you're not allowed to wear these."
"What? Why not?" He sounded genuinely offended by your rule. You snorted, because you really didn't know why he was so obsessed with that many rings (they had their own carrying case, for fuck's sake), before pulling the ring up his finger slightly to reveal the rings of dirt that were left behind.
"Because they're disgusting." You pointed to your evidence, and he snickered at his own lack of hand washing. To his credit, he'd been out doing god-knows-what with Bam and Brandon Novak for most of the afternoon, but still. "You know, I'm going to stop letting you put your fingers in me if this is how your hands look all the time."
"I can eat pussy with no hands." His tone was so sly, you couldn't help but giggle like an idiot at his words. Jaeger really brought out the honesty in him. "One time I forget to wash my hands, and now you're calling me grimy."
"Believe me. You've been grimy before this." He wasn't the one who had been on the receiving end of the world's sweatiest hugs after he'd been up on stage in the hot sun for two and a half hours. There'd also been multiple times where you’d showed up to spend a few days with him while he was on tour and his hair had been cooking under a beanie for about five days. Not pleasant to touch.
"Fine. Here." He suddenly began to pull all of the rings from his fingers, pulling your hand open before dropping each one in your palm until you had a pile of ten and then leaning over to stick both of his hands into the lake next to you. You watched with silent laughter as he scrubbed his hands together in the water, splashing everywhere in the process and being super loud while he grumbled to himself the entire time.
Once he was apparently satisfied with the level of 'cleanliness' achieved by the lake water, he pulled his hands back out, using his jeans as a towel before he then presented ten cleaner-looking fingers to you.
"Is this acceptable?" The level of snark in his tone made you roll your eyes, but you nodded nevertheless before pocketing his filthy rings and zipping your jacket pocket closed so that he couldn't slip them right back on.
"Beautiful." Then, to stop him from pouting, you reached out and wrapped an arm around his neck, pulling him towards you so that you could press a purposely-wet kiss right to his cheek. Then another. Then another. "You know, the guy at the bar said that you look like you brood in dark corners and give women dirty looks. I'm starting to think he was right."
"The 'guy at the bar' can suck my fucking ass. I hope his nose is broken." Ville spat as soon as you mentioned it, the jealousy he'd clearly acted on in the bar soaking right back into his voice as if it had never left. "You know what he looked like? The type of asshole who refuses to eat you out and says he'd rather just watch you finish yourself off."
Oh yeah. The Jaeger was definitely starting to kick in. Once Ville had consumed a certain amount of hard liquor, he was never a good person to have anywhere near polite company for fear of whatever derogatory thing (which came loudly and often) was going to come out of his mouth.
"Point to you." You rolled your eyes at his dramatic response, pressing another kiss to his cheek before taking your arm away so that he didn't have to bend down at an awkward angle. He also finally handed back the bottle after having hogged it this entire time so that he could pull his cigarette pack out of his jacket pocket. "Alright. No more carpet-munching talk. You're ruining our romantic date."
"My apologies, darling." He said very seriously as he lit his cigarette, smoke puffing out through his nose as he took a long drag. If he hadn't been in such a no-nonsense mood, you would've told him how handsome he looked when he smoked at night. Upon reciting the words in your head, however, you jumped at the realization that those words sounded perfectly romantic. Win!
"You look so handsome when you smoke in the moonlight." That was a winning line if you’d ever heard one. You were grinning like an idiot when you said it, and he just laughed when he saw the look on your face. After a pause, he suddenly started to sing.
"What a beautiful sight, in the moonlight. The way you're looking at me with your loving eyes, you let me know that for all my life, you would always be my only girl." There he went singing songs no one had ever heard of again. And in a southern accent, to put the cherry on top. He seemed to be able to immediately tell that you had no idea what he was talking about, and he sighed. "In Another World by Joe Diffie. Mige heard it in a bar in Texas one time and then played it all the time for like, a month straight."
"You're ridiculous." You then made a point to look directly at his lips, because you weren’t going to be taken out to a secluded dock where no one was around without doing a little making out while you were alone. He clearly noticed your cue, because his lips immediately curled into a smirk.
"And you're beautiful." And then he was closing the space between you, starting the kiss out softly and then not-so-slowly deepening it as his cold hand cupped your cheek with his cigarette still burning between his fingers. You were completely enveloped in his smell, both from his cologne and his cigarette smoke, and you let out a small whimper into the kiss.
You knew you obviously weren't going to fuck on a random dock in front of some random lake, but you couldn't help yourself out of slowly shifting into his lap, the urge to touch him overpowering your common sense, which had already been weakened by alcohol. He obviously didn't mind, and slid his hand under your jacket and shirt to press his palm into your lower back so that your chests were completely together as his tongue slid against yours.
"The next time some piece of shit starts flirting with you at the bar and they so much as lay a finger on you, I will bend you over and fuck you right then and there in front of them." After a few minutes Ville broke away, and as he mumbled those words against your lips, you felt a deep jolt of arousal shoot through several parts of your body. You shivered in his arms, quickly making a decision right then and there.
"Let's go back. I want you." You whined, fighting the urge to press your thighs together. Ville's voice already made you generally pretty horny, but adding a lot of booze and his possessiveness to the mix was ruining your underwear. He leaned in to kiss and then suck gently at the sweet spot just under your ear, humming in satisfaction when you let out a breathy moan at the feeling.
"Whatever you want, my love. I'll put all this pussy-eating talk to good use when we get there."
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deathbxnny · 9 months
Note
Hello Bxnny, how are you? I see that you open your request. You still remember about the god-slayer-entity-reader, right? Yeah i basically asked the same request but with the 4 archons (Venti, Zhongli, Ei, Nahida). Also the relationship is platonic (cuz' i'm in the mood for it). And have a great day/night/evening/afternoon
(I almost got anxiety while writing this to make sure you understand what i ask because i don't want to overwhelming you, but yeah i'm fine)
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A/N: I hope you're alright and please don't worry about such things! I'll always politely say something, if there is an issue, so no worries! Also thank you for the request, I really liked the idea!<33
Content: Kinda unserious, platonic relationships, summonings, mentions of alcoholic, mentions of battles, fluff, mentions of murder/death?, sfw
Reader has no set pronouns!
((Not fully proofread))
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》Venti
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You were quite confused, when you were suddenly summoned by an Archon. You used to slay many God's in your youth... so just what would he want from you? He should be afraid and worried, but instead, he just offers you a smile. "'Are you that legendary entity? That slayed God's and alike?" "Uh... yeah?" "Great! Let's go and get a drink together!"
You couldn't get a word in, as he just dragged you off into the direction of the tavern. He ordered a drink for you and began to sing his heart out on his lyre, never once telling you the purpose of you being there. So you just awkwardly watched him dance around with a drink in hand, your eyes nervously glancing at the red haired bartender, who seemed to stare at you suspiciously... Just what was up with these people here?
By the time you were finally allowed to leave, Venti dragged you back to where he summoned you. "Welp, that was fun... I'll be back next tomorrow! Goodnight!" He simply said, before skipping off and leaving you there dumbfounded... well now you were looking forward to tomorrow too.
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》Ei
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You were really just summoned into her realm by accident, which left you stumbling out of the book that held your entity in it. Huffing, you stand up and dust yourself off, as you give the surprised Archon an offended glare, questioning why she summoned you of all people... or well, entities. "Did... Miko give me the wrong book?" She'd simply ask absently, making it clear that she didn't actually know that opening it would bring you here.
And so, you simply sit down and keep her company for a while, until you can finally return to your book. "So, you're a god slayer...?" "I was one... I don't do that anymore though." "Oh." The silence was a little awkward, but surprisingly calming, especially when she went back to just meditating in peace. Deciding to join her, you soon found yourself understanding realising that you both were quite similar in a way.
When it was time for you to return back into the book, you told her that she could summon you again anytime, which started a beautiful friendship between you two.
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》Nahida
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"Can you tell me more about your need to slaughter God's? I'm very curious about the purpose behind it." "... Uh... how old are you again?" You rubbed your head in confusion, as you looked down at the young girl, who looked up at you with curious and eager eyes. You at first mistook her as a simple child, but even after learning that she was an Archon, things still didn't make sense to you.
Not that it really mattered to Nahida, as she just questioned you so throughly about your actions, that you began wondering if this was what therapy felt like. She was quite intelligent however and began noting things down mentally for further research, seemingly never satisfied with just one answer to something.
By the time Nahida was done, you were practically drained of your brain juice in defeat and sat on the ground with your head in your hands. The young Archon noticed none of this, as she just hummed and nodded. "Hm... I guess that's all for now... actually, I have one more-" "No."
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》Zhongli
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You huffed in annoyance, when you were summoned by someone, your eyes looking around to curse out the person who disturbed your peace. Someone cleared their throat behind you, their hand clasping onto your shoulder tightly, as the person spoke up. "Greetings, old acquaintance. My apologies for the disturbance, but I wanted to apologise for-" "WHAT THE- NOT YOU AGAIN! AAAAAAAA-" You screamed in terror, as you tried scrambling away from him, but his grip on you was too tight.
Many centuries ago, you tried slaying the Geo Archon, arrogantly thinking that you could. But you were violently brought back to reality, when he threw a whole mountain at you with ease. You officially retired that day. Seeing him again now made you therefore think that he was back to finish you off as revenge, but it seemed like he had different intentions in mind. Especially when he dragged you all the way to Liyue Harbour to "drink some tea with you and talk".
Your cup shook violently in your hand, when Zhongli gave you a calm and reassuring smile. "Anyways... as I was saying, I wanted to apologise for throwing that mountain at you." "Oh... uh... t-that's alright..." You laughed nervously, as he laughed with you, before his gaze turned serious again. "Don't try that again." "Wouldn't dream of it, sir!"
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A/N: Alright, I hope this was alright! Thank you again for the request!<33
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struttinevilshroom · 7 months
Text
A Narrow Perspective of Pikmin 4
So, I played Pikmin 4 with my friend. My friend, a guy who has played every Pikmin game (including hey Pikmin and the Pikmin game in Nintendoland) and has 100% completed Pikmin 2 which happens to be the most challenging Pikmin game. As for me, the extent of Pikmin knowledge is basically just what my friend tells me and I guess also bingo battles in Pikmin 3.
I'm trying to say that, I have a Narrow Perspective on Pikmin (boom title drop).
Sorry about that, I accidentally pressed on the question and I don't know how to remove it.
I went to my friend's house and he said that we were gonna beat Pikmin 4. I was only helping him with the final cave and final boss. I should also preface that this won't have any spoilers.
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How Pikmin 4's co op works is that the first player is doing all the Pikmin throwing and the second player is kinda like the second player in Mario Galaxy, it's an offscreen entity throwing things to help the first player out. The second player can throw rocks to damage enemies or to speed up Pikmin who are carrying treasures to the ship and the more rocks thrown, the more a meter will fill. Once the meter is full, the second player will obtain an item which can only be used by them. This meter does not fill too quickly or too slowly, I think it fills up at an adequate pace. We played together for 2 hours roughly and we had just enough items, we were never in excess and we were never out of any particular item that we needed at that moment. The one outlier for this would be the PikPik carrots, they were always in excess and I had 80 of them exactly before fighting the final boss. It is safe to assume that I ended the game with 77 or 78 of them because I remember accidentally throwing a pikpik carrot 2 or 3 times.
I always knew this friend of mine was professional, I watched him decimate Pikmin 2's Water Wraith and he's always sharing strategies for cheesing (to beat a segment of a game in a way that the developers did not intend) bosses in these games. I didn't know just how good he was until we worked our way to the final boss, I didn't know just how vast his knowledge of Pikmin was until we worked through this final area. We were going in almost completely blind and once he saw layout of any given map and it's enemies, almost instantaneously, he would devise a strategy. This was impressive to someone like me as I usually became overwhelmed by the bosses and his calm demeanor contrasted my surprise.
Of course, every game has the factor of chance and no matter how good you are, there will always be something you can't account for (I'm an earthbound/mother player, I should know this) and this resulted in a few losses. Like, at one point a rolling obstacle resulted in 90% of our Pikmin falling into the Abyss. Another loss, would be our encounter with an enemy from Pikmin 1 and it killed all of our blue Pikmin and the game told us that it wouldn't be wise to progress without them. Other than those 2 losses, we made quick work out each area. I can't speak for my friend but I certainly had a lot of fun even if I was just pelting enemies with rocks and the occasional bomb. I guess it's just fun when someone's really passionate about any given game and they kinda have that capacity to geek out about it and show off their knowledge and skills in regards to it. I was also able to put a face to the enemies and bosses he mentioned in our conversations about Pikmin.
This game also contains one of my favorite things in all of gaming, rest areas. Rest areas are severely overlooked, like yeah, they're gonna save you and prepare the character that you're playing as for whatever lays beyond but rest areas should also prepare the player mentally, one game that does this really well is Mother 3 and I guess Earthbound because Mother 3 gives you hot springs to restore everything and remove all ailments but also there's relaxing music, sometimes there's a rare npc to chat to which always eases my mind before a fight, Earthbound also rest areas, which are usually little parts off to the side of the action with butterflies like in Giant Step, coincidentally this is also usually in caves. I'm going to stop right there with Mother talk because I can talk about that series forever. This game also gives you rest areas both official and unofficial. In my mind, I classify official rest areas as a break from battles where you can heal up and prepare your character for what is to come while also preparing yourself as the player and unofficial ones are just the same thing but they're not there to prepare the character, just to prepare the player (this is not an actual definition, it's just a distinction in my mind). All the actual rest areas are chock full nectar and treasure but they also have ambient music to calm the player. There's also the part after you beat all the enemies on one sublevel and your Pikmin carry everything to the ship and everything is just empty. I know some people find empty spaces unnerving but I find them relaxing, I used to watch those empty mall videos to get to sleep back in the day. Anyway, there's so much empty space in these areas and it's usually a rush to get to the next sublevel but sometimes my friend would excuse himself to go to the bathroom or to do something else and I'd sit there and stare at everything. I'd stare at the emptiness, the Pikmin carrying remnants of humanity away, the dark Abyss that lay below, the beautiful graphics and I listen to the music, it's kind of beautiful in a sense, I have a Narrow Perspective on Pikmin but I wonder if they've ever explored themes like this in previous games, I know Olimar expresses some interest in the previous inhabitants but do they ever explore the idea that people roamed pnf-404 and had each of them had their own lives and now that's all gone? But who's "they"? I shouldn't be calling the previous inhabitants "them" because it's us.
Oh, he's back from the bathroom, I guess let's carry on with the review. Where was I? Oh yeah, the ambient music is really good in this game and when you're actually engaging in battle, there's this almost tribal music that plays, I've jested that it sounds like Monsters University montage music but as good as that is, the beauty of Pikmin's soundtracks always lies in its ambience...
I'm not sure how to transition to this last part so I just put an ellipse at the end of the last paragraph to make it seem like I was leaving you some food for thought even though it was a really blank statement. Anyway, Final boss. I'm not a NARC so I won't be spoiling the final boss for any readers, this is a fairly new game but I will say, if you haven't gotten there yet then please do your best to avoid spoilers because it is a doozy. Even my friend was caught off guard by it and he's a Pikmin veteran, he's crashed on the planet over 4 times now.
I do kinda wanna lightly touch on the characters, just lightly though. I didn't see any of the new characters get fleshed out (do I have to refer to the title of this review for the 3rd time now) so, I'll talk about Louie and Olimar. Louie gets placed in a more sinister light in this game. I feel like the game recognizes the extent of his evil but the characters do not. Olimar is also the most relatable protagonist ever, like he's a family man, who is mistreated at work and can't do anything about this mistreatment. This familial aspect shines through in the way he interacts with the others, (in what I've seen of this game) he acts as an authority and is clearly more experienced, not in regards to using Pikmin but just in general he has more life experience. Also he gives Louie the benefit of the doubt even after all the trouble he caused which just goes to show that he wants to believe that Louie is a good person, it's almost parental, like no parent wants to believe that their child is capable of bad things. I also watched a Pikmin 2 twitch stream the night before, the streamers were actually two content creators who inspire me in writing things like this. If You're into long reviews of old games nobody cares about, then watch Transparency on youtube. Anyway, as a joke they compared the Olimar and Louie to Peanuts characters and I thought that was really funny. Olimar is basically Charlie Brown, everyone mistreats him and he just has to go with it. Not sure who Louie is though.
You decide, which Peanuts character is Louie. I will judge you harshly depending on your answer.
With that, I draw this review to a close. We played together for 2 hours, in total my friend had 55 hours and has 100% every area on his first, blind playthrough. Everyone give him a round of applause. Give yourself a round of applause for reading this long ass review. I'm also sorry for giving you an existential crisis at one point in the review, if it's worth anything, I actually love the fact that our legacy on pnf 404 will live forever through Olimar's notes.
Thank you for reading.
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sentincl · 3 months
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 —  look over there,  that’s adam steele,  an a rank tanker  from knights of rose.  i heard they’re pretty reckless,  but people are saying they’re also charming.  they’re thirty and apparently never seen without their halberd + heavy plate shield. they do have to be careful due to being way too eager to be in battle and not knowing when he's taken enough damage. they sometimes remind me of a laugh that thunders across the room, warm morning sunshine caressing long eyelashes and freckled cheeks, cannonball in the middle of a pool, calloused fingers drumming on tables, a welcome wink with a soothing smile in the midst of chaos .
hello and welcome to my comfort sunshine himbo muse Adam! my intention with this character is to give full on honor and glory i'll be your shield hammer down reinhardt from overwatch, braum from league, karlach from baldur's gate 3 vibes dbsfkbsdkf check out his character sheet?? lmao
Basic Information
Full Name: adam steele
Age: 30
Gender: demi man
Pronouns: he/him
Orientation: pansexual
Rank: a
Class: tanker
Guild: knights of rose
Language(s) Spoken: english
Accent: southern
Physical Appearance
Hair Colour: brown
Eye Colour: brown
Height: 5'11
Usual Expression: a very wholesome, kind smile
Piercings: one in his left ear
Tattoos: one rose on his left tiddie KNIGHTS OF ROSE LET'S GOOOO MESS WITH THE ROSE YOU GET THE THORNS BABY
Health
Physical Ailments: n/a
Mental Illnesses: ADHD
Emotional Stability: 7/10
Sociability: oh he is Out there. He's easy to befriend, he's gonna treat you like one even if that isn't the case
Body Temperature: he's a warm boy
Personality
Positive Traits: confident, courageous, honest, loyal
Negative Traits: gullible, impulsive, reckless
Myers-Briggs personality type: ESFP
Headcanons
He takes the support role to a whole other level If you're on his team he'll bring you up, tell you you're the best at what you do, and if you falter in your spirits even for a second he is there to pick you back up!!
But if you're mean to him or his friends he'll beat u to a pulp ❤️
He's rarely Actually angry tho, it's only bullies that piss him off, and only if it's like, super obvious. Otherwise he sort of thinks everyone is his friend and that is why he has a lot of one sided beef where other ppl can't stand him while he just :3 has flowers and sparkles floating above his head
If you looked behind those eyes you would see No Thoughts. Only wii music.
He's a really good tanker he just always focuses on getting everyone out of harm's way and not really thinking of himself? So he's had a couple of very close calls.
TW DEATH just to add some trauma, his parents were both super famous s rank hunters in knights of rose (yes he is a nepo baby), they both died a gruesome death in battle and he witnessed it :) he doesn't ever talk about it unless someone like... specifically asks about it, but even then he won't elaborate. the interactions usually go like "Wait, you're THEIR son??? Didn't they-- oh..." >:)
oof I'm gonna add more later
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septembersghost · 2 years
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This isn’t a Chuck bashing post cos he’s so interesting, but god how he keeps saying he’s doing these things for his brother’s own good, before he destroys himself, and he ends up contributing to said destruction and it makes me want to gnaw the walls frankly
chuck is...such a complicated antagonist because he is extremely unlikable at basically every point, but i feel a real sense of pity and at times even sympathy for him because he is a legitimately sick man. his sensitivity to electromagnetism may not be "real," but his symptoms and pain are very real to *him*, and we understand they're rooted in some mental break even though we never know the full cause of it. he's awful and exasperating and arrogant and judgmental, and the battle he and jimmy end up locked in is excruciating to see because it's all based on old bitterness and misgivings, mistakes and unfairness - if chuck could only bend a little, if chuck could only accept the good in jimmy and want to foster it instead of crushing him down, if jimmy could only grow a little and follow a more even and decent path, etc.
and we know a secret jimmy doesn't know, will never know, about their mother waking up and asking for him, and we have to live with the knowledge of that despicable pettiness, we have to know how deep chuck's resentment went and how it festered for years before jimmy even had an inkling that his big brother could freeze him out or not want him. and we know a secret chuck never knew, a formative moment for jimmy - wolves and sheep.
chuck is right when he figures out things like the transposition of the numbers, and yet wrong in the cruelty he lashes out with, jimmy is wrong to do what he does and yet convinces himself his reasons are justified. they're a mess. jimmy doesn't have chuck committed, even though frankly it was the option he needed for help and treatment, and he thinks that's for the best because he doesn't want to hurt him or take his dignity from him in that way, and yet he doesn't think dinging his reputation will make him go completely off the rails. chuck convinces himself that shutting jimmy out of hhm, and then even the damning speeches he gives him, are for his own good because he can never, and should never, achieve more than the mail room - and every single one of those moments gets embedded under jimmy's skin like a poison dart. you're not a real lawyer. / a chimp with a machine gun. / you've deceived and ruined this fine young woman. / you're just going to keep hurting people. this is what you do, you hurt people. what's the point of all the sad faces and the gnashing of teeth? if you're not going to change your behavior, and you won't, why not just skip the whole exercise? in the end, you're going to hurt everyone around you. you can't help it. so, stop apologizing and accept it. embrace it. frankly, i'd have more respect for you if you did. / the truth is, you've never mattered all that much to me.
they are tragic in such a grand way that it's almost shakespearean. contrasting brothers who doom one another. it's worse still because it is clear that jimmy loves chuck and admires him greatly, despite his slippery habits and his tendencies to cut corners, and to have someone you love and admire unflinchingly tell you that you're bad and harmful and don't amount to much is ruinous, even if you try your best to compartmentalize it. it's like jimmy internalizes it, becomes it, and disassociates from the grief of it all at once. chuck isn't right, and i don't like the sort of narrow idea that he was, yet what he says becomes a fait accompli because we know where jimmy's road ultimately leads. chuck contributes in so many ways, maybe somewhat subconsciously, to jimmy's destruction, to jimmy not even wanting to BE jimmy anymore. jimmy has agency, it's in his hands and he makes those choices, but the shadow of that damage never goes away. how could it? and it can never be healed or resolved because chuck also destroyed himself, and that immolation traps part of jimmy in ashes too.
i think bcs was brilliant in making that initial arc of its story a familial tragedy, because it explains so much about why the saul mask is devoid of connections. jimmy has so much heart underneath everything, but pieces of it keep getting burned away in the paths he takes, willingly or under duress, and in what/who he loses. saul as an answer to self-loathing. saul as an answer to abandonment.
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okay so I know I sent an ask the other day already but I didn't see the ask prompts before and I got excited, you definitely deserve the ego boost so -
6/7/12 - therianthropy was the first one of your fics I read and it was a series of gut punches to read, you absolutely nailed the awful, self loathing headspace that can be built up in defense of a vicious but 'well-meaning' adult in your life, and the constant internal battle from wishing you didn't turn out a certain way, but also it being such a part of your identity that you almost want to feel proud that you 'became stronger' from it, and the almost instinctive revulsion towards your own weakness (and the awful thinking that maybe if you were smarter, if you knew better, if you weren't a child, you could have avoided being what felt like an active participant in your own trauma) - "He hates him, this stupid, sobbing thing, this weak thing, this thing that looked at a painful world and cried over it. He can’t believe how much he used to cry." and "Because the thing is, Foggy’s right. Stick was the worst thing to ever happen to Matt, bar his dad's death. And he wouldn’t change it for the goddamn world." - AUGH there are so many fics/meta with matt that of course dig into disability/CPTSD, and having to perform wellness over seeking help, but this is the first one that put me in a chokehold.
9 - I know I already said I'm on the edge of my seat for the next chapter of toy rosaries (MATT!!!! TALK TO YOUR FATHER!!!! NEOOOOW! also having to be an outside perspective to the hurtful bullshit that matt convinces himself he has to do... chefs kiss) but I'm also fantasizing about the next installment of therianthropy of course. with how you've been writing frank in kintsugi is driving me crazy and I'm so excited to see him in a different form having to deal with Matt basically adopting his daughter out from under him. co-parenting from hell. I'm also giggling to myself thinking about Matt finding out from Lisa presumably, having to walk into the office the next day shell-shocked, Foggy and Karen asking what's wrong, and Matt just having to be like "well... technically. it's a miracle." and then the collective heads in hands once they realize the nightmare situation they're in. (does Matt find out before Frank is arrested? After? Does he tell him then? Does Frank find out somehow first? LISA?????? HOW IS MY GIRL DOING??? AHHH!!!) I'm so fucking excited for the drama
ajkdfa;lnav;daihf;ah thank you so much, you're way too kind
I feel like so much of Matt is mixed up about Stick, because we see when he gets older that he did come to a realization that Stick was not the good guy--the entire "You're a dick" thing--but I think that we also see that Matt does very much enjoy the power and ability that his training gives him. He openly hates being pitied and there's a very visible part of him that feeds on what he's able to do as Daredevil. Like, i think Matt has at least partially begun to recognize that what happened to him was deeply fucked, and that's going to be in conflict with the fact that he really enjoys the product of it.
toy rosaries matt is SO mentally ill he needs time
Frank in kintsugi: i cannot let this dumb asshole near my kid
Frank in therianthropy: this dumb asshole is parenting my kid
It's such a flip-flop. Frank in kintsugi beat Matt to the kid that Matt's desperate to keep an eye on, and Matt in therianthropy beat Frank to his own fucking child. no one's having a good time.
I'm sooo excited to bring Frank into the mix (though we do have a few installments before then--Lisa and Matt need to come to some realizations before they're ready for Frank). It's gonna be so fucking dramatic I cannot wait
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draxumain · 8 months
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Hello! I was wondering if I could have a demon slayer match up please?
I'm 18, so only characters 18 and up please!
I'm nonbinary
Two of my favorite characters are Akaza and Rengoku (ironic Ik lol)
I don't care about the gender of the match up, so go wild!
Onto the way I look/am I guess!
I have short brown hair and brown eyes. I wear glasses. I'm plus sized and I tend to wear clothes that are more comfy/practical then trendy but I do still like to wear cute stuff, I have two tattoos at the moment and plan on getting more.
My personality is just a clusterfuck of my mental illnesses and whatever I'm hyperfixated on at that point. It's hard to pin point really.. but I think I'm empathetic, I do tend to get angry very easily, I get anxious pretty often to. I have a phobia of bugs to the point of tactile hallucinations (feeling things that aren't there, like bugs crawling on me). I get discouraged easily, and don't have much confidence in myself and I'm afraid of messing things up alot.
I love dancing and drawing but have been in a mental/creative block for both for quite awhile and it sucks
I love food (especially strawberries!), music, plushies and my comfort shows (bluey (shut up), Steven universe and the owl house)
I hate loud, especially sudden, noises, being hot (I overheat very easy), and people telling me what to do (not in a "I'm better then you" way in a "well I WAS gonna do that thing but now I don't want to and physically can't" way)
I also have ADHD inattentive type, depression, and anxiety (and quite possibly some other undiagnosed things too) if that helps!
Thank you for reading this and please take your time, there's no rush! (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)✿
Hi anon! Thanks for requesting I hope you're doing well <3 Heres your matchup! Apologies it's not proofread 🙇🏾‍♀️
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For your match up im paring you up with...
Yushiro Yamamoto
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Yushiro will 100% be your #1 supporter and fan, no matter what is is you need or want no matter you've done for life in general or just today, he will attend your needs and fully reach your expectations and even beyond.
This man is your hype man! He'll elevate you and praise you every second of the day. It's your insecurities battling against him on the daily, your insecurities are his biggest enemy.
He's so persistent in showing you how much he adores you as sees you as a deity, he'll show his affection in every way shape and form just so it'll get drilled into your head.
Poems, compliments, acts of service, physical touch, making food for you he'll do anything to make sure you know how much he loves you.
To him you'll always be a beaming light within a crowd, he worships the ground you walk on; every part, inch and hair on you is utter perfection your being alone is the reason he thinks god exists, only a deity could carve such a perfect beauty.
Yushiro loves hearing about your new hyperfixations, well to be honest he loves all of you so truly he does not care how much they change. Talk about it all you want, show off cool stuff you made and found about the topic he will listen to every word and remember it all like his life depends on it. Not a single word of yours will be forgotten. Just so, later on he can talk proudly about the topic and you praise him for it.
He wants nothing more then your love and approval, please give it to him.
Your relationship is basically you being expensive fine China and he's a big ol' bubble wrap, wrapping you up again and again.
He's on his toes around you, literally he's on his toes. He doesn't necessarily have a natural eof being quiet however, nor is he loud he's just easy to voice his very... VERY harsh opnions, announce himself loudly when he sees you and can get quite loud when excited and wants to show you something.
So when he learns you prefer it quiet, bros as quiet as a mouse.
It's actually a little scary at first, he'll just spawn next to you without sound and it scares the living shit out of you.
Just tell him and he'll continue to be quiet but in a not so creepy way by lightly knocking before entering the room and keeping his voice to a minimum.
Don't be afraid to tell him what you want, this man's life purpose is to attend to you knees he wants to be told what to do by you and do those things. He adores you and will bend over backwards just to see you happy.
Suddenly craving food? He'll buy you a whole restaurant, you've been eyeing a new plushy? He'll get you it + a bunch of different styled once with the same design concept.
He doesn't understand human entertainment so he doesn't seem to understand what's enjoyable about the human shows he likes but, he knows you like them so automatically he likes them and they're his favourite too, cause you're his favourite and he wants to be your favourite so, everything that's your favourite is  now his favourite.
You mentioned the shows you liked once, just saying it to say it and didn't think much of it but he took a mental note and binged watched it behind your back and FINISHED IT just so you guys can have something to talk about and relate too and, so you could be shocked and impressed he knew about it.
He pretends to be some huge fan and everything.
When you realise he's watched it, you get him to watch it with you again when you're in need of some comfort or just to watch it, you both come together entangled with each other in each others bodies under some blankets and plushies.
He can't help but think him deciding to watch the shows was his best idea ever.
100% worth it.
It's no doubt that no matter what, he'll always be there for you to support, cherish and love you. Until the end of times.
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Her Lady's Notes:: I was heavily debating between him and Akaza now I've got the itch to write him so stay tuned for some Akaza Headcannons 🙊
──  ﹫ 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐀𝐃𝐘𝐒𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐌   ؛   𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗎𝗆𝖻𝗅𝗋
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Doom post
At the end of this is a picture of my cat, so if you wanna just skip to that, feel free. She's great, healthy, etc.
Don't read if you're already anxious, in a bad place in life, are directionless etc.. I'm ranting about life stuff, so you know yourself best. If you want to read and are feeling shitty, just wait.
It's winter here in the US. If you are reading this past 4 in the afternoon, you're probably not happy.
So there's this new AI coming up, it allows people to put in a prompt, and essentially ask an ai to write it. This works from anything from school essays, to basic medical diagnoses(enough to tell a person to go to the hospital), to correcting computer code. For the next few years this will be an uphill battle.
I'm just going to ask this now, as a person who is mentally ill and it's hard to hold down a serious job. I can't work or live at a deficit.
What the fuck am I supposed to do with my life?
(For context I'm officially diagnosed with: ADHD, Bipolar Disorder 1 with psychotic features, Depression, and Generalized Anxiety disorder)
After 3 degree changes I wanted to go into English teaching, but that whole landscape will change. Why would a 12-year-old write an essay when they can use this program. In the US, our long-form essay-based classes need to change. Plus, I'm a lesbian with a wonkey gender presentation on a given day that lives in a red state. I'm already not safe, I'm not going to be poorer than now and in dept as a teacher. So that's a no.
I'm in a 10k-people dying retirement town 6 hours away from a 100k-people city. I've already worked most jobs locally and was either let go of or quit due to my being part-time due to college. Got gently let go of from Walmart cause they were getting rid of part-time night stockers. All these jobs were manual labor, no office jobs, no 'lazy' jobs that respect my free time. They don't exist here.
I've tried nursing school, computer science, and engineering as degrees. Around 40-50 credits for nothing. Nothing kept me hooked, I had to be uber-medicated for my ADHD to stay going. I was able to get through high school cause I hated myself and punished myself whenever I was underperforming. I'm to tired to do that right now.
As for jobs-
Retail killed me, I worked WalMart for a year, and another local family owned business for four months before giving up. Unless forced to, I won't be returning.
I've tried Railroad (very male-dominated work environments); it's a trade. I wanted to die, mostly 40-year-old men looking at a 5'9 twig and deciding that's enough of a joke to grab onto for a bit. Not to mention all the touching. That's all there is here, besides specializing in another trade, where I could just get treated as badly. Nursing (where I'll be harassed with a smile on my face like my mother) or fitting in with a red town.
My therapist tells me to 'just go into computer science'. She's one of those people that are convinced that anyone can get a degree and find a good job. She ignores me when I tell her how my ADHD makes it hard to focus on tasks. I just need to 'power through it' and It'll work out in the end.
Oh! And Comp Sci is expected to have an influx of people over the next 5 years at entry-level positions due to the pandemic. No one in my family actually believes me when I tell them this, but I'd be fucked after I graduate. It will be impossible to find work with just a degree. I can't afford to leave for an internship that could cinch me a job.
I can't leave. I can't afford to leave. I'm 20, 21 next month, with no friends whatsoever as I hop around in life. All my coworkers are bigots, rude, or high schoolers, leaving me feeling more alone. I'm stuck in a $ 13-an-hour dead-end part-time job, and don't see an out.
If I left town for college, the only affordable housing is my family in the state I live in. So if I specialize I'll just be at ground zero if I'm forced to flee back to home.
I'm not the fun type of mentally ill that's gotten obsessed with something capitalism can call helpful. I obsess over a pirate show for 6 months, and spend most of my days tired and zoned out. I've tried to be hopeful and find a career that suits me. In every single degree I've looked into that isn't too heavily math-based (adhd) or social-based (probably autism, but no one here is qualified for AFAB people) is going downhill. I don't want to be here for this shit anymore.
Obviously, I've got stuff to keep me alive as concerning as this post sounds. I needed to rant, I'm probably in an episode, and if I was that badly off, I wouldn't be posting online. At the very least I have OFMD s2/s3 to look forward to, and household are kind enough not to point out how much of a dead weight I am.
I've got shitty meds that don't work, and a therapist who didn't know gay people could get married...so there's that.
I can't figure out how to verify this account. I've tried, but I can't see private messages. Reblog/comment if you want to talk. But IDK.
Cat photo reward for making it this far. Her name is Polly. She says hi.
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othercat2 · 2 years
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Fic Snip: Build a Life from Scratch 21
It becomes pretty clear that John Crocker isn't doing too well, despite having the Condesce and Mindfang's influence pulled out of him. Highblood gives it some long name, but it's basically depression. Crocker's tired, angry and sad and doesn't want to talk about it or to anyone. Redglare for some reason takes this as a challenge and starts bugging him.
This in turn annoys the fuck out of Jade, but Signless takes her aside after watching one of Crocker and Redglare's exchanges. Jade comes out of the little conversation still annoyed, but cautiously watching, ready to split them up if anything goes wrong. This exchange is notable enough for you to go, "uh you know humans don't do kismesis, right?" at Redglare.
"Obviously you do hatefriends," she says, doing a little head tilt that's a bit like an eyeroll. "And who says it's pitch?" She reaches out, with definite intent to flick your forehead, and you push her hand away. She lets you. "Are you his hatefriend too? Or his lusus?"
"I'd just rather there not be any weird interspecies blow-up before we have the boss fight," you say.
"But after's okay?" Redglare asks with a smirk.
"Sure, whatever," you say.  You're a bit faster with the forehead flick. Redglare is not able to dodge and ends up rubbing her forehead ruefully.
Everyone gets John Crocker up to speed on the rebirth in the new world situation, plus the quest to destroy the Wicked Witch of the West. He has extremely mixed feelings about the situation. Someone had a very complicated relationship with his wicked foster mother, and you get the feeling that at the bottom, Crocker doesn't want Ursula the Sea Bitch to be hurt. (Even though his foster mom is almost literally a primordial sea monster, and she and Winnowill had their hooks in his brain.)
This upsets Jade and Alter Dave. And by "upset," you actually mean "enrages." They both jump right down his throat, which causes some worried looks among the trolls. Maryam looks like she might want to step in, Demoness looks exasperated, and Highblood just looks like he's enjoying the chaos.  Signless and Disciple step in, physically putting themselves between Jade and Alter Dave. "Jade, Dave, I understand why you're both angry, but you aren't listening to John," Signless says. Meanwhile, his body language is saying "but you're not getting past me or Meulin."
"He's been brainwashed! By that hag!" Jade snaps.
"No I haven't!" John shouts back. He almost makes an attempt to get past Signless, but Redglare blocks him off. "Maybe you're the one that's brainwashed!"
"She's literally Sea Hitler dude," Alter Dave says.
"You really think I don't know that?"  John asks incredulously. "Do you really think I don't know she's the Red Skull crossed with Ming the Merciless?"
"Then why did you stay? Why didn't you help fight her?" Jade demands. "Why didn't you come with me?"
(There is way too much feeling in the cabin of the long long battle truck and you don't want to deal with it.)
John takes a breath and pinches the bridge of his nose.  "What part of clinical depression do you have trouble understanding?" He asks patiently. For you, it's surprising that he'd say it so plainly, and clearly, it's a little surprising to both Jade and Dave as well. Just. Admitting it like that. (You can't. You can't imagine just doing that.)
"I couldn't fight my own brain and her too." John sighs. "She's a terrible person and a terrible parent. She was also mentally ill and being there for her was what kept me going most days."
"She was an alien, how would you know she's mentally ill?" Dave asks. "As opposed to just evil. And an alien." He looks around at the trolls. "Uh, no offense."
"And what mental illness would you be supposing Her Condescension to have?" Highblood asks.
"Highblood madness," Demoness supplies helpfully. 
"Do I look like a psychologist?" John asks. "I went on stage to tell jokes, not sell self-help books. She was angry and miserable and intermittently ambushed us because she thought it was funny. She taught both of us to shoot and fight and for a while, we were kinda afraid her species was some kind of big game hunter like a Yautja and we were being raised as either hounds or maybe foxes."
"She really liked that franchise way too much," Jade mutters. "We used to speculate about which would be worse." 
"She also had nightmares and crying jags and if you caught her in the middle of either she'd scream at you about it for hours.  She was self-centered, and mostly couldn't be bothered to care about other people. Maybe she was a sociopath. Maybe she was a narcissist. Most of my material came from her unique crazy with the serial numbers filed off, and she either never knew or she never cared."  He glares at Jade. "But I stayed because she needed me not because she brainwashed me or whatever. I understand why you left, why won't you understand why I stayed?"
"Ordinary co-dependant shit?" you interject before Jade can say anything.
John snorts. "Sure call it that." He sighs. "Look, she messed around with my brain. She had one of her stooges also mess around with my brain. And yes, I'm angry about it. But killing her is out, hurting her is out. I don't want to fight her."
"What about your granddaughter?" Jade demands. "That bitch is keeping me from my grandson,  damn straight I'm going to fight her. I'll kick her fucking ass!"
John doesn't say anything, but his jaw tenses. He looks away.
"You won't fight her, even if it's to help her?" Demoness asks.
"Help how?" John asks. "It doesn't seem like any of this is about 'helping' her."
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myatuesday · 1 year
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May 7/8, 2023
[I'm just gonna put this right here]
So, someone posted this:
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And then someone in the comments went on a long rant and kept going and going and going about personal responsibility and forgiving yourself and the importance of positive thoughts and just ALL this cliche known it all BULLSHIT. And called it "straight facts". But she's definitely under 25 (if not under 21). So I finally had to be like:
Look, you mean well. But you aren't the authority on life and mental health.
I'm simply saying what you're saying might work for you or others, if the shoe fits. But EVERYONE is dealing w different shit. You can't call anecdotal experience "straight fucking truth".
I'm a grown ass woman. I've been in therapy for 20+ years. I recovered from BPD in my 20s (had like 10 good years) just to go through so much trauma in my 30s, I relapsed into it yet again. But this time, they called it CPTSD.
Just a few things that happened (not even half of it): I got hit by a drunk driver and it caused my career to suffer. Then I got hit AGAIN when I was in recovery from surgery from the first wreck and now my back is FUCKED FUCKED. Changed my entire life. Then I lost my housing. Then XYZ 123. Shit just spiraled from there. Then when things were finally looking up after years of trying to recover from all that, I was diagnosed w cancer, abandoned by basically everyone close to me during that time (that alone will change someone's world view real fucking quick) and my closet friend died within months of me getting dx w cancer. And I kinda just gave the fuck up after that. Because WTAF.
So like... don't tell me shit. I lost everything too many times by events that were 100% out of my control. Despite doing everything right and being in a good place before life decided to fuck me again and again and again.
I'm not saying this as a sob story or pity party. I'm saying this, so that you understand your one size fits all solution doesn't fit every situation. It's dangerous to speak on matters you don't fully understand and call them fact.
I'm glad what you're doing is working for you. But no part of recovery and mental wellness is one size fits all. And we're all fighting very different battles, even if we may have similar diagnosis or some issues in common, etc. It's not as simple as mind over matter and all that jazz all the time.
I used to believe in everything you're saying. Said it myself too, I'm sure. Then life came at me fast, just when I thought I had it all figured out. So yeah. It's important to know that not all destruction is self destruction by any means. We can be doing our best and still being going through the worst shit.
Even people who are healthy and living their best life go through life altering shit that turns their world upside down (fire, car crash, death, rape, natural disaster, fucking worldwide pandemic, whatever. Hell, maybe all of it all at once). It's hard on anyone. It's just even harder on those of us who do also have pre-existing mental health issues to cope with ALL of that shit all at once in one lifetime. It's a fucking lot.
So just keep that in mind. That's all I'm suggesting. Not all trauma or mental health issues or whatever is making our life fucking suck is the same experience as someone else's. And the solution (if there is one at all) isn't going to look the same for everyone. Give people some grace or like benefit of the doubt that they may understand their own situation better than you. You can be supportive without being preachy.
I just know the worst thing, especially when dealing w people dealing w BPD, anxiety, depression, is to make them feel like it's their fault or that they're the ones standing in their own way. Unless you know *for a fact* that is the case. And, even then, tough love isn't the best approach. Because people can just go into self loathing mode and spiral more.
Just it's better to listen than to talk sometimes. You have to really understand where someone is and why in order to attempt to help them help themselves out of that place. If you even can.
That's all.
I don't really feel like writing out why I responded, why that was my response, or why I'm posting it here now.
I'm just putting it here. x
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23 Things I've learned in 23 years.
You can laugh at the notion as a teenager, But when they tell you life hits fast forward the minute you shake the principals hand, take that paper, and flip that tassel, Listen to them, It's too true.
If you're gonna act stupid than you better be tough.
No relationship, Be it a partner, friend, family, is going to keep itself healthy. You have to make an intention to uphold them.
Not everyone who comes in to your life is meant to be in it forever, and not everyone will. When the season of your relationship come to an end let go with grace, and thank them for the memories or lessons.
Almost no issue on this earth is Black/White, Wrong/Right. There's a long stretch of gray area and in that is where the best solution usually nestles itself.
If you are going to debate someone on a point ideally you should at least be able to argue from their side half as well as yours.
Those born in to a burning house think the world is on fire, and a person forged and shaped in chaos will mistake peace for boredom.
Sometimes you just...don't have to be right, or prove that you are. Ask yourself if your point is really worth the strain on your relationship.
One of the most important things you can ever do for yourself is to choose to be yourself.
Personal growth is just as much for yourself as it is those around you. It's important to not box yourself in to a belief or habit so much that nobody can get through to you.
The first thought that pops in to your head is your bias, What you correct it with or say aloud are your values.
Every single person, Neurodivergent or not, can benefit from therapy.
Pleasing every single person around you all the time is impossible, Sometimes you'll have to pick your battles, and honestly sometimes you'll just have to choose to please yourself.
If someone WANTS to be in your life, They will be.
No matter what you THINK you know about somebody you aren't living their life and have no right to judge their situation.
Music taste, style, and food choices are opinions and every single persons is worthy of respect; Discrimination and hatefulness are values and do not deserve any more respect than you give others.
It is fully admissible to match someone's energy who's coming at you with an attitude. Respect is a two way street, but so is petty.
No matter who, no matter how tough, and no matter how 'stable' you are, at some point or another you will probably find yourself in a struggle, situation, or season of life where you cannot cope on your own, And reaching out to your loved ones for help is the farthest thing from weak.
Blood doesn't make a family, and a family doesn't end with blood. (SPN, Anyone?) Family are the people who love you, build you up and celebrate your success and mourn your losses with you.
Regret for things it's too late to change is a waste of mental energy, Learn your lesson instead of stewing in what could have been different and do it better next time around.
Almost every living person has lived a unique life with it's own challenge and triumph, and there's a lot to be learned just by listening to someones story.
Sometimes everyone is a little hard-headed and despite your best intentioned warnings and advice will not be processed until they go learn the lesson themselves and are looking back.
You take yourself anywhere you go, So until you figure out how to be happy with yourself no change of scenery (Or drastic move) will make you happy. (Trust me there, I moved 1700 miles on basically a whim TWICE)
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hyunknow · 3 years
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#personal#today i made smth really big#well big for me#while my dad was waiting at the pharmacy i went alone to buy some bread so it'd make us buy time#and i was so nervous i battled with myself about if i went or not before deciding to go and#while going i was still anxious but i was so proud of myself after#that's such a stupid thing right? like everyone does that and at my big age it still makes me anxious to do so#but that's how it is and that's why it's a big accomplishment for me and#basically that's just me telling you not to give up if you're battling with mental illness bc if you followed me on#my old blogs you prob know how much of a mess i was and that was only half of it showing online hahahfhshd#but today after taking meds for almost a year and working on myself i'm able to do so many stuff that i wouldn't even#have thought about before without literally crying for anxiety#and even tho i'm still not like the best a'd able to do everything like other people etc i'm so much better and i'm glad i#asked for help and didn't give up#okay idk why i said this story that must seem dumb but i'm thinking some people might be in the same situation as me and#i'm just like i want to give some hope to them? when we're in a bad place we don't think things will get better ever but they do#i didn't believe it back then so prob someone who read that will be like 'sure.....' but trust me#my life didn't miraculously became the best honestly there's some stuff that are still not good and i try not to think of the future tjfksh#but that's a slow process and today i think it's worth it#anyway......tjdjqhfh sorry i'm not good with words i feel this is kinda dumb but yeah i just wanted to say it 😭#also this blog is truly dead eh idk i don't feel like being here idk if it'll come back fjjs#i don't gif anymore either sooooo#if you miss me (😌🌸) i'm on twt @/etoileminho or my trade insta acc @/minyoohtrade bc these days i'm obsessed with my collection tjfkshfj#anyway should go to sleep bc i have an appointment tomorrow (jobs stuff kinda hmmm it'd be nice if i could get smth at home or idk 😭) and#then i'm gonna get my new phone i'm excited bc this one is DEAD truly but going through the process of reinstalling everything and stuff#already makes me tired jgjsfh
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