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dreamlandcreations · 1 day

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Chapter 1 • Faded dreams

Feyd x Atreides!Reader

Summary: You risk your life to find out what your dreams mean...

Warnings: space drugs (🙈), near death experience, mention of blood and death and war, no dialogue, no Feyd yet (well...), this is basically a prologue

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Your dreams were getting worse and it was getting more difficult to wake up each time. They seemed so real, yet they fade away each time within seconds as you finally jolt awake from the nightmares. All that remains is fear and a knowing that you are seeing the end.

You tried to ask your mother for help, well, more like tried to ask for information without telling her what's going on. Paul's own dreams were a good excuse to justify your curiosity but it also limited your options of inquiring about your specifically maddening problem. Because, of course your brother gets to dream about a pretty girl while you drown in a bloody nightmare every night. If only you could see more clearly, the not knowing of what these hazy images mean is almost worse than the death you witness each time.

You can't tell your mother though, or even Paul. They would try to stop you from making this utterly stupid decision that will probably result in your death. They wouldn't be able to understand that that possibility cannot be worse than this slowly driving you into insanity.

It was not as difficult as you thought, tricking a mentat, a doctor and a Bene Gesserit to give you little doses of spice to try. According to your careful research, with what you were gifted by Lady Fenring on her last visit, it should be enough to induce the process.

You waited until nighttime, until you knew everyone went to sleep. It was an unnecessary precaution as it turns out because Paul in the next room startled awake as soon as you took the spice.

With your last coherent thought you were thinking that getting hit by lightning must feel something like this. Only the energy didn't just hit you once, it was trapped inside your body, wreaking havoc in the very essence of your being. It was tearing you apart, and the pain was unbearable.

For a long while there was nothing but the pain, you did not really feel or sense anything. Then the first thing you were aware of was screaming, it took you a moment to realise it was your own, just before you had another wave of power rushing through you and you lost every bit of control over your body. The screaming stopped and you faintly heard your mother for a few seconds before the dreams drew you in.

No, not dreams, visions. You see everything all at once, and at first none of it made sense then you felt... time, in a way it couldn't be explained in words. The connections, the possibilities, the what ifs... like the branches of a tree... too many variants for even a mentat to handle and you were only half-trained at best. Yet, you understood, no, you felt, you sensed, you became a part of each version a little, living in a million moments at once, spread apart and yet still whole beneath that... like the branches of a tree...

The tree, your ancestry, you have to get to the other memory to finish the trial. You try to look within yourself, slightly distracted by regaining some of your physical sense and weakly trying to fight off the poison of the spice.

At the end of the spiral you see a figure, a source of all the death and misery that haunts you. A familiar, yet strange face that seemed to look into your soul. There is that rage and madness you started to see in your own reflection, only this gaze, this unnatural blue scared you more than your own demons.

Well, she is your demon in a way.

With that thought the spice floods your mind again, taking you where you wanted to go, forcing you down on the line of your ancestors, their knowledge and experience becoming a part of your consciousness but you know something is terribly wrong when your mind takes a path that no Bene Gesserit has before. You see your father and his entire line, both female and male members of your extended family tree on his part. And it comes surprisingly easy to you, too easy.

Your mother's line stops with her, there's something horrible beyond that which your mind cannot deal with and it almost shatters you.

On the inside you struggle to get out of the darkness that pulls you in. On the outside your body crashes, your heart stops, and so does your breathing.

You hear Paul's yell to the doctor to do something, followed by your mother's command, using the Voice to order you to breathe. With your last bit of strength leaving you, it feels like what you would call your soul starts to leave your body. It is quite peaceful actually, there's no more pain or worry, only a calm nothingness but unlike the previous cold and twisted darkness that came from within this feels right and you almost slip away from existence when you feel something, someone catch you and practically drag you back.

There's a voice, a command of a simple "No!" comes with the force that knocks you down and holds you in this world. The tone is unfamiliar, the raspy voice with the obvious rage laced into it sounds more like a growl than anything else and it is followed by a similarly angry, yet so much louder order, "FIGHT!"

The presence is gone as soon as it came but you are tethered to your body again, feeling how it shuts down sparks a sudden defiance in you. Not really knowing what you're doing, you will your heart's muscles to move, to pump the remaining spice through your body and your cells absorb it, sparkling to new life, then you slowly and now consciously start to sort of reboot your system with this new strange energy.

When you are done you just rest, unable to truly sleep but too tired to move too, you think. Going through the visions again and again, you start to see a pattern. As soon as you understand the reasons behind the events, it all comes together, all the previously possible paths become clear until a certain point.

Hours go by as you lie there, practically trapped in your own body but there's no fear in you anymore, you are too busy planning your next move. And the next, and the next.

You might have failed getting through the Spice Agony and it's a miracle you are alive but it doesn't matter, it wasn't an unnecessary risk after all, you know the truth now. There is only one person who's decisions changed the end game, all the others who you thought had enough power to be key persons could only influence the path, not the outcome. So you know, your mother can never set foot on Arrakis and if you have to take her place in the story, so be it.

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#feyd #feyd rautha #feyd rautha x reader #feyd x reader #feyd x you #feyd rautha harkonnen #feyd rautha x you #my stuff #my fics

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maopll · 3 days

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Could I request Gepard, Luka, Welt, and Argenti finding their s/o's body pillow of them (the boys)?

THEM AS BODY PILLOWS

#honkai star rail !

⌗:, a/n : quick work cause I'm honestly getting so busy with this school year. we are rushing like crazy and it's only been 3 days since school started ...

⌗:, pairings : gepard (princess), luka, welt, & argenti w/ gn!reader (separately)

⌗:, note : I too would do this

— ୨ GEPARD ୧

You look sweet sleeping comfortably in your bed but why ... why do you have him as a body pillow ? Him being flustered would be an understatement. He would be pacing everywhere just seeing you hugging the face of the body pillow close to your chest and one leg hanging over his waist.

He just stares quietly at you for a moment as thoughts flood him. He was thinking that he was away for so long you had to resort to cuddling with a 'gepard pillow' instead of him and he's even more sad. Not because you made him a pillow without his consent but rather that you were so lonely.

He gently removes the pillow and replaces it with him, but taking great care in not throwing it to some corner of the room. He hold you by your waist softly yet firmly and presses a chaste kiss on your lips. He murmurs a soft 'sorry' before also drifting off to sleep with you.

"mmm... wait... Gepard? when did you come? and...Where's the pillow?..." you can find the pillow later it's time to cuddle your baby since that's what you were doing and should be doing now that he's here.

— ୨ LUKA ୧

He's squealing and jumping up and down. You look so cute ! and peaceful sleeping like that. He clicks more than ten pictures and immediately makes them his wallpaper. Oh you're too cute to resist but it's quite unfair that you are cuddling a pillow which can't cuddle you back but now that he's here you can hug 'luka' as much as you want.

"Baby! I'm here now scoot over let me cuddle with you" he looks like a golden retriever who just wants to hog their master's attention and affection all to themselves. It's not that you can actually deny him of his well deserved affection.

"Aw fine fine I'll kiss you and cuddle you, you big baby" you held his face with your hands and smooched him with kisses all over his face.

"That's not enough!" and there he goes tackling you and throwing your body onto the bed. It's gonna be a long time before he's done cuddling with you...

— ୨ WELT ୧

"If you wanted to spend time with me that much, you could have just told me" Welt chuckles as he sees you practically strangling the Welt body pillow that you have as you hold it close to yourself.

"I can't possibly disturb you when you have so may missions to go on! and... I missed you so much.."

The last few words came out as a whisper but loud enough for Welt to understand what you meant and it was true. He went to Xianzhou and then the Penacony's Family called him and the other crew members so he had basically no time to spare for even a few minutes of rest.

"I know love...sorry...I'm here now for a long time so you can spend as much time as you want with me." He pressed a kiss to your forehead and caressed your hair as he shoved the pillow slowly from you hand.

"No need to worry anymore dear... I will kiss you until you fall asleep in my arms"

— ୨ AREGNTI ୧

"Preposterous! Oh Idrila! I cannot fathom this anymore" he screams in a comical fashion.

"Chill Argenti, it's just a pillow... a pillow with your face,"

The most dramatic one because he can't understand why you would have to resort to cuddling with a non living thing when the living thing is right beside you walking, talking and breathing !

"Dearest this is a blasphemous act which a knight of beauty, especially one who is loyal to their oaths, can take! Why, why, pray tell, would you have to cuddle with a pillow?!" he falls to his knees.

You just sigh and drag him by his hand.

"Argenti, I didn't break whatever oath you are talking about and I still love you! I just wanted to make a pillow with you on it so that I wouldn't feel lonely when you're gone...to conduct your knightly duties..." you huff.

You saw how Argenti's shoulders relax and how he let out a content smile.

"Then looks like another one of my knightly duties need to be done hm?" he says so cheekily as he picks you up and carries you to cuddle with him ,"surely you can spare some time for the real deal my dove"

tagging: @fictoculus @poison-demon @mitsvriii @pianopuppygirl @sleepy-waffle

join the taglist !

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #gepard fluff #gepard x reader #hsr gepard #luka fluff #luka x reader #hsr luka #welt fluff #welt yang #welt x reader #hsr welt #argenti fluff #argenti x reader #hsr argenti

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dancingtotuyo · 3 days

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10. hold you from the world and it's curse

Woman | Joel Miller X Female Reader

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Chapter Summary: You begin to come to terms with things. Ellie struggles with the limits of her immunity.

Tags: Joel Miller X Female Reader. Age Gap (13/14 years). HBO Characters. Mostly cannon compliant for show & game. Timeline is changed.

Chapter Warnings: pregnancy related things, angst, hurt & comfort, self worth issues, Character Death, references to canon violence and gore, talk about guns & shooting people (mercifully), lots of grief, anger,

Notes: huge thank you to my constants, my rocks @ramblers-lets-get-ramblinand @janaispunk for beta reading and letting me yell and scream and break their hearts.

If you have checked out Before, I would encourage you to do so for more backstory on our dear reader! The final part is out now!

Words: 4933

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When Maria was pregnant, she unashamedly let her bump grow in front of the gaze of the town. It came on with the winter months but she kept her coats unbuttoned and off while inside. She was excited, cherishing it all, marking and sharing milestones as she could. You don’t do any of it. You keep your bulky coats zipped and make sure your layers disguise your growing abdomen.

It’s not a secret by any means, but you know even in the tight-knit community of Jackson there are still people who don’t know as you approach your 23rd week of pregnancy, even if you feel twice as large at this stage as you did during your first pregnancy. It’s been getting easier to keep the layers on as the temperature falls and Christmas approaches.

But it’s only a few days from Christmas, and there’s a dance. You’ve fallen in love with the dances again. While it’s a relatively casual event as everything in Jackson is, you’re not prancing in there in your worn leggings and layered jacket. The body heat flowing between the dancing bodies is more than enough without your layer. With the extra heat you’re producing on your own, you’re sure you’d pass out in 20 minutes.

You have one option: the dress with quarter-length sleeves and a skirt that hits your knees. You basically lived in that dress when pregnant with Carter, but it accentuates your condition. That’s the last thing you’re ready for, the stares, the questions, the congratulations. You feel a vein of guilt rush through you. You shouldn’t dread people congratulating you on this.

You rest your hand on top of your swollen stomach. You’re starting to feel the baby move more often. It’s just as weird as it was with Carter, but it still sends a little thrill through you each time.

Joel walks out of the bathroom to find you sitting on the bed in his sweatshirt staring at the closet like a monster might come barreling out at any given moment. “Sweetheart,” he says. “It’s almost time to go.”

You bite at your thumbnail, the closet mocking you. It’s just a dress. Why does it feel like so much more? “We don’t have to go. Let’s just stay in.”

“After you bribed Morgan with heaven and earth to watch Carter?” He crosses his arms, eyebrows raised.

“We could just stay here? Do other things.” You shoot him a suggestive wink.

Joel seems to consider it for a moment. He surprisingly enjoys the dances. There’s something about the semblance of normalcy, and the night he kissed you in front of the whole town is a fond memory, but he likes being alone with you more. He sees through it though. You’re avoiding something.

Easing next to you, his shoulder brushes yours. He gazes at your profile as you keep your eyes pinned to the closet door. His fingertips brush along your cheek rounding behind your ear. “What’s actually buggin you?”

Chewing your lip, you finally meet his gaze, unshed tears shimmering in your eyes. “If I put on that dress, everyone is gonna know.”

He sighs, arm wrapping around your shoulders. You lean into him, your heart rate slowing. “We can’t avoid it forever.”

“I know. I just thought I could for longer.”

“Baby, you’re over halfway there,” Joel cracks a smile. “And I promise that most of the town already knows.”

“Yeah, but they don’t officially know.”

Joel wraps his arm around you, letting his hand fall over the one that rests on your bump. “We have to face it sooner or later. Maybe even embrace it?” He kisses your temple. He manages to pull a slight smile from your lips.

He rubs your arm softly as your head eases to his shoulder. “I’d really like to spin you around that dance floor, kiss ya for everyone to see. We don’t have to go for long, but I think you’ll feel better.”

You inhale deeply, nodding softly. “Help me up. I’ll get dressed.”

“Now I know you’re not that pregnant.” He grins, standing before you and pulling you to your feet anyway.

You laugh, arms wrapping around his shoulders. You sway, pressed against him for a few seconds. Your lips press against his and then he’s pressing against your hips, directing you toward the closet. “Get dressed, Sweetheart.”

He kisses your head and slips out of the bedroom. You steady yourself with a deep breath before finally opening the closet. You can do this.

Carter is sitting on Joel’s lap as he reads him a book. Morgan preps a light snack in the kitchen. You haven’t worn a dress in ages. This is the only one you own. You traded the others ages ago.

Carter sees you first, letting out a soft gasp. “Mommy, you look so pretty!”

Joel’s head snaps up, the book lowering in front of him. Carter jumps off Joel’s lap, rushing toward you. You laugh, going to your knee to accept his hug. He’s still small enough for you to pick up and spin around, squeezing him tightly too you. He laughs as you pepper his cheek with kisses. “You’re gonna listen to Miss Morgan, right?” You stare right into his eyes, keeping him at eye level with you.

Carter nods with a great solemness. His big eyes sparkle in the light, his nose pressed to yours. His bright eyes are so close to yours, so reminiscent of Gabe’s. It sends a soft ache through you that he doesn’t get to be here for these moments. “Daddy already made me promise.”

“Did he?” A grin captures your lips as you glance over to Joel.

Joel rises from the couch with a chuckle, adjusting his jeans over his hips.

“Mhmm,” Carter says, kissing your nose before he slides to the ground. He rushes off toward the kitchen. “Miss Morgan? Is my snack ready?”

Joel laughs, watching the child disappear before sliding his arms around your midsection. “You look beautiful, but that’s nothing new.”

Heat floods your cheeks. Once again you’re smiling like a flustered schoolgirl. “You gonna take me out, Miller?”

“Tempted to take you upstairs.” He winks. His hands travel down your back to your ass. No underwear lines, just as he expected to find. One of these days he’s going to figure out what you have against the damn garment. The last thing he needs to know is that you’re bare under the skirt, that when he spins you around tonight and your skirt spins you’ll feel the air moving against you.

You let out a laugh, pushing against his shoulders. “Too late for that, Miller. I put on the dress. We’re going.” You head toward the kitchen.

Joel lets out a groan trailing behind you. You give Morgan a few instructions, but she’s familiar with the routine by now. “I love you,” You kiss Carter’s cheek as he eats at the table. “Mommy and Daddy will be back after you go to sleep.”

“I know.” Carter grins proudly, face scrunching up slightly. “Love you, Mommy.”

Joel leans down, kissing Carter’s other cheek. “You behave.”

Carter cheese again, kissing both your cheeks in quick succession. “Love you, Daddy.”

“Love you too, bud.” He chuckles softly.

Joel pushes you toward the door, helping you into your warmest coat before you can find a way to stall. Your legs freeze on the way to the Tipsy Bison, cool air shooting right up your skirt. This might be the first time you’ve regretted your commitment to not wearing underwear.

Joel’s hand stays pressed to your back on the short walk over as if he’s trying to keep you from making a break to the safety of your home but The Tipsy Bison welcomes you in with warmth and vibrance, drowning out all your fears. When Joel helps you out of your coat, something amazing happens. The world keeps spinning. People go about their evening, seemingly oblivious to your arrival and your announcement. Throughout the night, you get a few stares and a few congratulations, you take them all with grace.

After exhausting you on the dance floor, your stamina not what it was thanks to your pregnancy, Joel guides you toward a back corner. Chairs line the wall but few people mill about on the outskirts.

“I’ll go get you some water,” Joel says, kissing your warm cheeks.

You smile at him as he weaves through the throngs of people. Before you can sit down, you catch sight of Ellie further down the line of chairs. She watches, arms resting on her knees, the cheer of the night like an outsider looking in, the rush and thrill of the night ineffective against her armor.

You tilt your head to the side before approaching. You ease beside her, letting out a soft sigh. You hook your foot under the legs of a stray chair to pull it closer so you have a place to prop your feet. Ellie doesn’t acknowledge you. She makes no movements that indicate she’s even aware of your presence.

You follow her line of sight to the opposing corner. Dina and Jesse are flirting like all of Jackson doesn’t have eyes. Cat rolls her eyes at something Chris Lamer says to her, a playful insult likely rolling off her lips. The sight brings a smile to your lips. At least within these walls, they can act like teenagers.

“You’re not feeling very social tonight?”

Ellie lets out a sigh, falling back in her chair. She shoves her hair behind her shoulder. It’s getting longer than you’ve ever seen it. She shrugs. “Just not feeling it tonight.”

“Wish I’d known that before I bribed Morgan to watch Carter.” You offer a teasing grin. She doesn’t return it, crossing her arms over her chest as she shifts in her seat. Your brow furrows. “What’s up, Ellie?”

She bristles, taking her time to find words. “You look nice tonight.”

“You’re deflecting.”

“People do that when they don’t wanna talk about things.”

“Which usually means they should talk about things.”

She glances over at you, unamused. You smile back, but she doesn’t say a word, letting her eyes fall back over to her friends.

“You know,” you say. “I didn’t want to come tonight.”

She looks surprised. “You and Joel love these things.”

“Yeah…” You nod, eyes scanning over the crowd. “But I can’t really hide this anymore.” You motion to your swollen abdomen. “Especially not in this dress. Which is about the only thing that fits me now.”

Her eyes flicker over to you, landing on your bump. You catch something in her eyes. “I thought you’d gotten used to it.”

“Don’t know that that’ll ever happen,” you sigh.

“Even with Joel moving in?”

That’s when it clicks. The changes. You should’ve known, or guessed. Joel brought the last of his things over last week. Ellie decided early on to stay in Joel’s house, or her house now.

“Ellie, if you’ve changed your mind-”

“No,” she cuts you off. “I haven’t- at least I don’t think I have.” She bites her lip, frame ridgid. “Guess I didn’t think it would feel any different. He basically lived over there already.”

“But his things are gone now.”

Her eyes snap to yours like you’ve hit the nail on the head. Her eyes look shiny under the Christmas lights strung from the rafters. She blinks a couple times.

“I didn’t think I’d miss that damn owl mug so much. I used to hate the way its eyes followed me when I was in the kitchen.”

A laugh tips out of your mouth. “Glad to hear it. I’ll smuggle it back over to you.”

Ellie’s head shakes, a smile pushing against the edges of her face. “Hell no. I said I missed it, not that I wanted it back in my house.”

The two of you laugh together until a comfortable silence forms between you. You feel like there might be another layer, but you’ve pushed as much as you can tonight surrounded by people. She’s smiling, the tension gone from her body, and that’s the most important thing right now.

“Change is hard.” Ellie says.

“So damn hard.” You agree. “Don’t make yourself a stranger, okay? I know you’re like kind of an adult in this world and a certified homeowner now.” You wink at her and she laughs with a shake of her head. “But we still want you around as much as we did. Really even more.”

“So you’re not tired of me?” she asks. She’s joking, but you catch the hint of a real question, that soft need for assurance.

Your arm wraps around her shoulders, tugging her close. “Never. I mean, who else is gonna talk to Carter about space. That shit goes right over my head.” She laughs, head falling onto your shoulder. “But in all seriousness, I don’t think I’d ever get tired of you, Ellie. You’re my family.”

“Guess I’m not very good at this family stuff.”

“We’re all still learning.”

She nods softly, waiting just a few seconds before pulling away. She looks better, lighter. Her eyes land over on her group of friends, seemingly glued to one particular female. You look between them, a knowing grin on your face. “You know, I think she’d say yes if you asked her to dance.”

Ellie’s eyes snap to you, confusion dancing in them.

“I’ve known you for years, my dear. You can’t hide much from me.”

She bites her lip as Joel finally materializes out of the crowd with your water in hand. “Sorry it took me so long. Adam was trying to rope me into trouble.”

You raise an eyebrow suspiciously.

“Stayed out of it. Cross my heart, darlin.” He leans down to kiss your cheek.

“You two are gross.” Ellie teases as she stands, stretching her arms above her head.

“Promise I can make it even grosser.” Joel chuckles, easing into the chair next to you.

“That’s not even a word.” You roll your eyes, swatting him away from you. He only laughs more, arm settling across the back of your chair, finger tips twisting and turning lightly across your shoulder.

“As much as I’d hate to see that,” Ellie says, taking a step back. She’s returned to her usual, playful self. “I’m going to join my friends.” With that, she dashes off.

You and Joel talk in hushed tones, playful flirting firing between you. He’s distracting you, definitely trying to seduce you, and it’s working. As he pulls you through the crowd, you’re surprised to see Ellie dancing with Cat.

You’re in the clinic the next afternoon when she bursts in looking wide eyed and terrified. She reminds you of the 14 year old you met two and half years ago. Your heart drops to your stomach. She was on patrol. They weren’t due back until tomorrow.

“Ellie, what-”

She collides with your chest, sobs shaking her small frame. Your arms fly around her, holding her close. Your brain wracks through names and faces. Who was she with? Who did your community lose this time? But your brain won’t work, can’t piece together who you’ve seen today tucked within the safety of the clinic and who you haven’t.

Eventually, she pulls away, eye red and swollen, cheeks flushed from crying and wind chapped. She doesn’t look any closer to sanity than when she walked in. Her eyes search frantically about.

“Ellie,” you say firmly, trying to capture her attention. She doesn’t seem to notice, slipping through your fingers when you attempt to grab her shoulders.

She scrounges through a bin until she feels the cool metal of scissors. The metal flashes in the clinic lights. She slams them down on the counter. “Cut it.”

“Cut what?” You’re confused and worried, your mind spinning as you’re still trying to process who was lost today, two days before Christmas. “Ellie-”

“My hair!” Tears stream down her hair. “I should’ve never let it get this long- I don’t even like it- and now-” Another sob breaks through, her voice cracking.

You pull her back into your arms. She fights against you. “Please, just cut it off!” She’s desperate, barely hanging on. “I want it gone.”

“Okay.” You say. “Okay. Sit down.”

She plops onto the nearest chair, eyes fixed on the letters of the eye chart straight ahead. It’s silent, nothing except the snip of the sheers. You could hear a pin drop, can hear her long tresses drop to the floor. You take it to her shoulders, about where it was when you first met her. This isn’t the first time you’ve cut her hair, but it feels like the most impactful.

“Shorter.” She says.

You place your fingers midway between her shoulders and earlobes. She shakes her head. You move a little further up and still another shake of her head. You repeat it until your fingers are right under her earlobes. Finally, you get a nod.

You hand her a hand mirror when you’re finished. She looks it over. It suits her, you think, makes her look older.

“Thanks.”

“Ellie?”

She hears the question in your voice, knows what you’re asking. She’s not sure if she can manage the words to describe the pictures looping through her mind.

“We ran into a couple infected. Got most of them except for one. I- my hair got caught on a bush.”

She holds eye contact with your reflection in the mirror. She shakes her head, the tears return. “I told Chris to go. I could handle it.”

You shudder. These are always hard, no remains to bring home, very little closure. You know first hand what it’s like, but losing teenagers on patrol is the hardest, losing someone Ellie’s age brings the danger too close.

“He came back. Put his arm in front of its mouth when it went to bite me.”

“Fuck…” it’s out of your mouth before your brain catches up.

“I told him to leave me. I had my knife. I would’ve been fine.” It's barely a whisper, her hands shake.

“Ellie.” You reach out to take the mirror from her but she slams it to the ground. It shatters.

“I would’ve been fine!” Her body shakes with all the rage it can hold, angry tears stream down her cheeks. “I had to shoot him! I would’ve been fine, but now he’s dead instead!”

You pull her into you. She tries to fight it, but you don’t let go this time, not until her tears dry up and her body stops shaking. When she pulls back, you cup her cheeks. Her voice is hoarse, scratching her throat until she settles for a whisper. “I have to do something. This can’t keep happening.”

“Ellie, it’s not your fault.”

“I think it is this time.”

Your heart breaks for her, because you see the determination set in her eyes. She’s convinced and there’s not a single thing you can say or do to change her mind.

“I could fix this. I could save people! What’s the point of everything? Why was I made immune? To watch everyone get infected and die around me?!”

“What happened to Chris wasn’t your fault.”

“He tried to save me because he thought I needed it! And then I had to put a bullet in his head. There was no reason!”

“You didn’t kill him. Cordyceps did.”

“Are you sure? Or is that just what you tell yourself so you don’t get mad at Maria for killing your husband?”

Your breath catches in your chest. You know she doesn’t mean it, but it stings. It digs deep. You had blamed her at one point, spat the words in her face, but you push it away. You apologized. She granted forgiveness. You don’t blame her anymore.

Her eyes burn with a rage you’ve never seen. You see the guilt weighing on her. You’re not sure she’ll be able to shake this one, another ghost to the host that haunts her.

It’s quiet in the clinic. You can’t explain away what she feels. This one was preventable. There was a happy ending in sight. You both know that.

“Look at my blood. I’m ready.”

“Not today.”

“Why not!?”

“You’re not in the right state of mind for this. None of us are.”

“It’s a vial of blood!”

“Not today, Ellie.” You’re firm.

“What if something happens to you? Or Joel? Or Carter? Or this baby? And I could’ve stopped it?” She’s pleading, grasping at straws.

“Another day. When you’re in a better place.”

“I can’t do nothing anymore!”

You hold her gaze. She’s stubborn, but so are you. She’s like a deer stuck in headlights, mind darting between rushing forward or darting back until it’s frozen. Then she’s gone in the blink of any eye. Only then do you allow room for your emotions to fill the empty clinic.

You’re alone for maybe an hour before Joel finds you face up on one of the cots, tears streaming from the corners of your eyes. He lets out a long sigh, kneeling at your bedside. His hand runs over your head as you turn your head to him.

“I take it you heard?”

“From the source herself.”

Joel inhales sharply. “She wouldn’t talk to me when I went over.”

You take a deep breath, chest quivering as you do. You ease into a sitting position. Joel helps you up. Your feet dangle over the side. He sits next to you, arm supporting your back.

“She feels guilty?” Joel asks.

“She’s blaming herself.” You run a hand over your face. “Chris put himself between her and the infected. Got bit so she wouldn’t.”

“Shit.” Joel cringes.

You nod, keeping the rest to yourself. It doesn’t feel right to share the rest of what happened. You walk home together. The town feels silent. You pass a few people on the street, but they’re mostly in their homes, holding their families close.

Maria comes out of Ellie’s house as you reach your congregation of houses. Unspoken words pass between you and your oldest friend. Joel kisses your head.

“I’ll go get Carter from Tommy’s,” he says, leaving you and Maria.They nod to each other in passing.

“She tell you?”

Maria nods. You catch the tension in her chest, even under her many layers. She’s reliving it too.

“You know that was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” You’ve rarely heard her voice quiver.

Your arms wrap around her. She holds on to you. “I know.” You don’t have more tears to shed, but you would if you did. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“I know that… now.” Maria sighs, arms staying around you. “She doesn’t. Not sure she ever will.”

“I know.”

The two of you stand in the middle of the street, depending on each other for support until Joel and Tommy pull you inside, worried you might freeze. You spend the evening at Tommy and Maria’s. It’s mostly quiet. Joel plucks at the strings of his guitar. He’s only missing one string now. Elias plays contently in the corner. Carter sits beside Joel, intently watching the way his fingers play across the frets. You’re doing what the rest of the town is, leaning on family for support.

Eventually, the front door opens. Dina and Jesse pull Ellie inside. She looks like a ghost of herself, eyes skirting around trying to figure out who she should sit beside. You get the feeling you weren’t the only one who got snapped at today.

“We didn’t want to leave her alone,” Dina says.

You pick up the blanket on your lap, making room for her next to you on the couch. Her head picks up, looking for permission, like you might reject her after what she said earlier. You only nod your head and she’s falling beside you, curling up in a ball, head tucked into your side. You wrap the blanket around her.

“Thank you.” You smile up at Dina and Jesse.

They nod. “We’ll see you tomorrow, Ellie,” Dina says. Ellie manages a small nod.

The pair leaves and the quiet settles again. Joel is more thoughtful in his chord progressions, humming a soft melody. Carter makes his way toward you. He peers down at her.

“I like your hair, Ellie,” He whisper yells. Ellie’s lips tip up just a little bit, but she doesn’t move otherwise. “I hope you feel better soon.” He kisses her cheek before wiggling in between you and Maria on your other side.

Joel’s voice starts to raise as he sings. His voice has polished some the past few years, after being dormant for two decades. It reminds you more what he sounded like before the outbreak. Carter is asleep before the first song ends. As Joel transitions into another song, there’s movement in your womb. It’s happened more lately, but this picks up. Whatever the baby can hear, it likes.

You peel through your knowledge of gestational benchmarks. You’re approaching the mark that it would be able to hear sounds outside of your womb, your voice, Joel’s. The kicking ramps up. You shift and Ellie picks her head up. “Should I-”

“No, you’re fine.” You both keep your voices low.

But she looks unsure as you shift again. You let out a soft sigh, taking her hand and pressing it into the firm mass just above your hip. Her brow furrows and then she feels it, a firm thud right under her hand.

“Woah… That’s so weird.”

You smile. “You can hit back.” She looks confused. “Just nudge back. I promise, it doesn’t hurt.”

She does, a little soft at first and then harder. There’s a pause and then a double tap against her hand again.

Ellie laughs. She actually laughs. Joy flashes across her face. Her hand doesn’t move for the rest of the evening.

Joel is curled around you in bed that night, holding you tightly to him. Ellie sleeps in the downstairs guest room and you’re 98% sure you heard Carter’s footsteps head down stairs as soon as your bedroom door closed. It would hardly be the first time he’s crawled into bed with her.

Joel can feel the baby moving around under his arm. He doesn’t say anything about it, but you can feel the faint smile against your neck. Tonight with Ellie, the smile on her face as she essentially played with the baby, your baby sticks in your brain. You meant it to cheer her up, figured it would slide into that category of weird but cool. It seemed to, but it was really the first time you’d embraced the pregnancy, and it felt good.

“You think Ellie’s gonna be okay?” He asks.

You bite your lip, contemplating your response. You get a literal punch to the gut, getting out a soft grunt.

Joel chuckles. “That was a hard one.”

Something sprouts in your chest. He’s never directly acknowledged feeling the baby even though you know he has before tonight. You’re okay with it.

“The baby seemed to like your singing tonight.”

Joel’s arms tighten around you. His smile grows. “That so?”

“Yeah,” You lay your hand on top of his. “Guess you’ll have to sing more often.”

“Suppose I will.”

Silence falls again. You know he’s still waiting patiently for your response to his first question. You give it a minute.

“I think it’s going to take a long time.” You roll over so you can face him. He cups your face, thumb running across your cheek.

He nods, mouth opening to say something before he closes it, eyes roaming over your moonlit features.

“What is it?”

He sighs. “Just thought of something, but I shouldn’t-”

“What?”

“If we were out, and I got infected- I’d take care of it myself. I wouldn’t make you do that. Wouldn’t make anyone do it.”

You run your finger over the scar on his temple. It’s a serious conversation, one you hate the idea of, but you can’t help the teasing remark that comes out. “You so sure about that?”

Joel takes your hand in his, kissing each of your fingers. “To protect you, I’d do anything, Sweetheart.”

You let out a shaky breath, touching your forehead to his. “I think you’d have to put the bullet in my head.”

“Ain’t ever gonna happen. I’ll make sure of that.”

You want to shake your head at the chivalry, at the thing he can’t promise, but somehow you still believe him. Joel Miller will learn how to turn back time before he lets anything or anyone near you.

His hand falls back to your stomach, running over and around your bump. You inhale deeply, feeling drawn toward sleep.

“Sweetheart?”

“Hmmm?”

“If it’s something else that gets me… where I’m not putting you in danger…”

“Joel,” You want him to stop. You can’t think of that happening. You can’t think about him not coming back to you in one piece. Especially after what happened to Paul this summer. Especially now that you’re pregnant.

“I want the last thing I hear to be your voice. Not a gunshot. That’s all.” He rubs your back.

Tears gather under the lids of your closed eyes. He’s thought about this. You fight the constricting happening in your chest, remind yourself this is all hypothetical.

“Okay.” You manage, wrapping your arms around his neck. “When we’re both old and senile, I’ll make sure to tell you goodnight so that it’s the last thing you ever hear.”

He chuckles lightly, kissing your temple. “Okay.”

Taglist: @pedrotonin @amyispxnk @joeldjarin @ilovepedro @justagalwhowrites @missladym1981 @jessthebaker @annieispunk @ashleyfilm @moel-jiller @eloquentdreamer @lizzie-cakes

#joel miller #the last of us #tlou #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro stories #pedrostories #tlou fanfiction #ppcu fanfiction #woman (joel’s version)#woman (joel miller)

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bunnliix · 1 day

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Can't Stay Away from You - Chapter Three

I'm finally back after over a month! I hope this is enough to make up for not updating this series for a month.

masterlist wc: 5.7k warnings: panic attacks, disassociation maybe??, better to be safe than sorry, reader just has a rough time in this chapter, angsty times, violence against doors, violence in general, Minho bites, slightly suggestive-ish??, also fluff!! I think that's it?? I'm really not sure at this point, but it's basically reader having a rough time and the boys helping her

Y/n was the first to wake up the next morning, and she found herself in a bit of a pickle, stuck in between the two omegas of the skz pack. She was in a bit of shock, not remembering anything past being on the couch in their living room. She wasn’t quite sure how she got to be here, in the middle of their nest, and in the middle of the eight men. She noticed that Felix had attached himself to her back, their legs entangled along with Han’s, and her birthday twin was clinging onto her front, his head almost buried in her neck. She could feel his breath on her neck, and it made her shiver. She didn’t think that she’d ever be in this position, but fuck now that she knew what she was missing out on, she never wanted to sleep alone again. It just felt so right to be here, it felt right to be with them, but that thought was also terrifying.

She started to try and untangle herself from the pile, needing a moment to breathe, and a moment to herself. She tried pulling her legs out of the pile, to little luck, the two omegas’ grips were almost cutting off the circulation in her legs when she tried pulling them up towards her chest. Her next move was to try and pull herself out of the boys’ grip, only to have them hold onto her tighter, as she let out a huff as their stubbornness, even while they’re asleep. Stupid omegas not letting go.

She froze as she felt a pair of lips on the back of her neck, knowing that had to be the freckled sunshine boy. She took a harsh breath in as she tried to relax, but then Han left his own kiss on her neck, as she gripped the bed underneath her to try and ground herself. She could feel herself slicking up after the actions of the two omegas, her own omega screaming in joy at this whole situation. She tried to will her thoughts in a less smutty direction, to which it almost worked.

That was, until Seungmin woke up due to her movements and her scent that betrayed her. His sleep filled eyes looked at her over Han’s head, an eyebrow raising at her actions, and she quickly looked away, garnering a chuckle out of the vocalracha member.

“Go back to sleep, omega.” He says, morning voice very evident, as his voice sounded much more gravelly than normal.

She shivered at it, and silently nodded, though she pouted at being told to go back to sleep. The change in her scent as she thought of how nice the singer’s morning voice sounded was what finally work Han up, and the rapper smirked at her change in scent. She got so flustered just at his member’s voice, and Seungmin didn’t even have the best morning voice. That would go to the Aussie line, with Minho as a close third place. Those men’s voices in the morning, he would never get enough of them. It may also be the reason why on mornings where they had schedules, the alarms were set for earlier than usual. Jisung pulled her back down into his arms, holding her tighter so she couldn’t escape.

“Not allowed to leave, ‘mega.” Han says, voice full of sleep, though his smirk could be heard in his tone of voice as well.

Seungmin chuckled at her predicament, finding it hilarious. His laugh woke Minho up, however, and once the dancer was awake, he also chuckled at what she had gotten herself into. She looked adorable trapped between his two omegas, and she looked like she belonged right in the middle of their nest, like she had occupied it forever.

“Cute. Three cute omegas, and my good omegas for keeping little omega in bed with us.” He praised the two, and Han preened at the praise from the alpha, while y/n pouted.

“I’m not cute.” She protested, to which Minho only raised an eyebrow, staying silent while he stared at her.

“Just cause I’m an omega, doesn’t mean I’m cute. Got it mister?” She said, glaring at him now.

This riled up the alpha, who was very rarely challenged. He growled in warning to her, red eyes flashing at her. She crossed her arms, staring at him dead in the eyes, challenging him to do something if he’s that bothered.

“Omega, stop with the denial. Now.” He once again growled at her, his alpha very unhappy with her disobedience, and the self-deprecating nature of her comments. By this point, the rest of the pack had woken up from their exchange, if not by Minho’s growls.

“Hmmm, nahhh. I’m good. Once again, I. Am. Not. Cute.” She said, voice firm, but with a teasing lilt to it.

Han had wisely loosened his grip, and had loosened Felix’s as well, just in time for Minho to grab her. The alpha pulled her underneath himself, staring down at her as his eyes flashed red, warning her that his alpha was dangerously close to the surface. She stared defiantly back at him, not willing to budge on her position, nor showing any fear of the alpha. His alpha enjoyed the good fight, but was displeased by the omega refusing to submit, disregarding the fact that she wasn’t their omega, and had no obligation to submit to them, to him.

“Omega, be good.” He said firmly.

“I’ll pass on that.” Was all she said in return.

Normally, an omega would have bared her neck in this situation, but y/n fought that urge and won, leaving the alpha to have to force her to bare it. Minho, who was running completely on instinct once again, leaned down close to her neck and he nipped at it, leaving a mark.

“Omega. Submit. Now.” He growled into her neck, biting at her neck harder a second time when she didn’t give in right away.

Y/n whined, unprepared for what happened, but she submitted and gave in. She stopped fighting him, and bared her neck willingly, to which the alpha above her grinned at winning.

“Good ‘mega. Very good.” He told her, kissing the marks he left. “Don’t deny it again, or pull an attitude with me. You’ll end up back underneath me if you do.” He told her simply, before flopping down on top of her.

She whined in embarrassment but a blush remained on her face after she processed what happened, and Minho chuffed in delight at it, before he allowed her to move out from under him. She didn’t get the freedom she wanted, however, since Hyunjin immediately pulled the omega into his arms, holding her tightly. The others chuckled and laughed at her predicament, enjoying seeing her be passed from one member to another, thinking about how cute she was. Though a couple did worry about her, seeing as she was just subjected to Minho’s alpha, mostly the betas, since they knew how it was to be subjected to an alpha, especially in the manner she had just been affected. They watched her closely, eyes following her movements.

Eventually Hyunjin loosened his grip, and y/n took advantage of this to escape his hold, quickly scurrying out of the room before anyone else could take the chance to catch her once again. Thankfully, for her sake, she quickly found the bathroom, only running into a few of the boys’ rooms before finding it. She locked the door behind her once she entered, and she quickly used the bathroom before she found herself in the mirror, staring back at herself. She looked at herself, not recognizing the person she saw in the mirror’s reflection. Hair mussed and out of place, Minho’s bite marks visible on her shoulder, and she just looked different. She couldn’t describe what was different exactly, and that plus all of the feelings that had been building up in her that morning finally fought their way to the surface.

She couldn’t believe everything that’s happened in the last 24 hours, let alone the last 48 hours. She went from bumping into who she now knows was Felix, to the fanmeet and meeting Stray Kids and getting Chan’s number, to Hyunjin and Minho showing up at her hotel room last night before bringing her here, to waking up in the nest with them. What was her life, and what had she done to end up here? She couldn’t process all of this, nor could her omega. Her omega was distressed, but also strangely content, and she couldn’t comprehend that either. It was all a little too much for her omega and her to process, going from being alone by herself to being here, with all of them, and honestly being treated like a member of the pack, it’s almost too much to bear.

She vaguely saw herself sliding down the mirror, thoughts in her head of why she was here with them at all, why she was being treated like a member of the pack when she clearly wasn’t, why were they being this nice to her? She couldn’t understand how she, a normal fan who met them once, well Felix met her twice, and how this went from that to her sitting in their bathroom after having slept in their den. The world around her felt like it was spinning, and she couldn’t process anything going on around her, the only things she could focus on were the thoughts running through her mind, making her worry further. She felt sharp pin pricks, looking down to find that she had been digging her fingernails into her hands, breaking skin. Without realizing it, she had been hurting herself and her scent had leaked out of the bathroom, slowly invading the rest of the dorm.

Time skip backwards a tiny bit…

The boys watched y/n’s escape, laughing at how cute she was, as they heard the sounds of various doors opening and closing, before hearing silence, figuring that she had found either someone’s room to hide out in, or the bathroom. They chatted amongst themselves, figuring that she’ll find her way back once she’s ready. They mostly spoke about their own schedules, thankfully they all had the day off today, since they had just finished their comeback promotions, the fansign yesterday having been the final one of their promotion cycle.

It wasn’t until a disgustingly nasty smell wafted into the nest room that made a couple of the members gag that they realized something was horribly wrong. Felix and Chan jumped into action, the omega of the duo almost slipping on blankets as the two of them rushed out of the room, Minho and Jisung following closely behind, with the rest of the pack not far behind the four of them. They follow the scent to the bathroom, finding the door locked, and they know she’s in there.

“Y/n? Darling, please open the door for us please?” Felix called out to her, worry filling his voice.

The sour scent of smoke only gets stronger at his words, and he and Han know she could drop at any moment, and with the door in the way, they would have no way to help her. Chan sees a shadow move from underneath the door, and realized that she’s sitting against the door, which means forcing their way in wasn’t an option.

“Please baby, talk to us. We’re here for you.” Jisung called out, trying to keep the worry and fear out of his voice.

They hear her breathing pick up and Chan curses, if she wasn’t against the door, he would have gotten Changbin to break the door just so they could get to her. He tried to think of a way to get her away from the door, just so that they could break it down. He didn’t care if he had to get another door, her safety was more important than a door right now.

“She’s against the door, we need her out of the way, then Bin or I can break it down.” He whispered to the two omegas, who immediately understood what he wanted them to do. They continued talking to her, trying to coax her either away from the door, but really they wanted her to unlock the door, as it would make everything else much easier. They tried appealing to y/n first, but then when that didn’t work, they started appealing to her omega, hoping that it would work, because her scent smelled like a bonfire, and not in a comforting way.

Minho sees the shadow underneath the door move, and points it out, to which Chan immediately tries to open the door, still finding it locked. He huffs in frustration, but quickly reels that feeling in before he looks to Minho and Bin, who pull the omega duo closer to themselves, giving Chan the room he needs to bust the door open.

“Omega, stay away from the door, I’m gonna open it and I don’t want you hurt. Alpha doesn’t want to hurt you, okay?” Chan said to y/n, before he shoved his shoulder into the door, partially opening it. He tried once more, successfully breaking open the door, and looking into the room to find y/n pushed up against the bathtub, her wide eyes staring up at him. Her breathing is still way too fast, and tears are running down her cheeks and onto her chest as she just stares at him.

“Hey little omega. You’re okay, we’re gonna get you out of here and get you somewhere safer than the bathroom, yeah?” Chan told her, kneeling down on the ground in her line of sight , trying to make himself seem smaller so he didn’t appear threatening to her omega. He slowly inched closer to her, staying far enough away in case her omega felt threatened by a strange alpha’s presence. He watched her, her breathing still erratic but her eyes were trained on his form, not letting him out of her sight.

Chan took a deep breath before asking her, “Can I touch you, little one?”

He watched her, waiting for a response, but instead of replying, she launched herself at him. “Alpha.” She said as she pushed himself into the pack alpha’s arms, burying her head into his neck. Chan froze for a moment, before wrapping an arm around her and patting her back to comfort her. He whispered reassurances and comforting words in her ear, trying to calm her down as he felt her tears on his skin. He still had no idea why she was like this, nor what sparked this breakdown and subsequent drop, considering that her omega had taken control.

Hearing footsteps, he looks up to see Minho having made his way past the door, looking up at his second-in-command with worry and confusion in his eyes, seeing those same emotions mirrored in the other alpha’s eyes. The others peeked into the room, the two omegas whining at seeing how tiny y/n looked curled up in their leader’s arms, both them and their omegas wanting to reach out to her and calm her down themselves. They couldn’t stand seeing another omega in distress, it physically hurt them to see it, let alone for it to be a fan of theirs like this, and without knowing what caused it, they weren’t sure how to fix it.

Seungmin suddenly pushed his way through the rest of his pack and quickly entered the bathroom, moving past Minho and stealing y/n from Chan’s grip. He was a beta on a mission, even dodging a punch from his pack alpha for taking the omega. He darted out of the bathroom, carefully however, so that the girl in his arms never hit anything as he made his way to his own bedroom, knowing that the only way she’d calm down was to take her away from the onslaught of scents, especially her own. Staying in that stinky bathroom wouldn’t help her state of mind, it would only reinforce it. And since he tended to keep his own room pretty scent free except for his own and a few select scents, it was a perfect place to let her recover. Hyunjin and Changbin had immediately followed the youngest beta, trusting him as their pack beta to know what the best thing was to do, despite his age.

Seungmin pushed his bedroom door open, walking over to his bed as Hyunjin followed, as Changbin stayed at the door to keep everyone else out. Chan had almost stormed after the pack beta, his alpha ready for a fight with the beta who stole the omega out of his arms. It took both the other alphas to stop him, plus Changbin wouldn’t let him anywhere near the younger trio in the pack beta’s room.

“Chan, you need to chill off before you come anywhere near here.” Changbin told him, crossing his arms as he stood in the doorway of the bedroom. “Go take a walk, I don’t care what you do as long as you don’t try to force your way into this room right now.”

Chan huffed but didn’t say a word, walking away from them, against his own alpha’s wishes. Minho watched him walk away, deciding to keep an eye on him, knowing that it was his alpha making him feel this way, as Chan wouldn’t give into his anger easily if not for his alpha pushing him to. He said as much to the rest of the pack outside of the room, before stalking behind their pack leader.

Meanwhile, Seungmin beckoned Hyunjin to sit on his bed and once the other beta was sitting comfortably, passed y/n over to him, with whined protests coming from the omega who wanted to stay with him.

“Shhh, it’s okay, I’ll be back in a moment, okay? Jinnie is gonna take care of you for me, yeah? He’s a really good cuddler, I’ll have you know. Even if I don’t like to admit to enjoying cuddles that often, he gives really good ones.” Seungmin said to the omega, pointedly not looking up at the other beta as he said all of that.

He moved to his closet, finding a new blanket he had yet to use, and thankfully it was still in its packaging. He brought it out of his closet and over to the bed, taking it out of the plastic and wrapping it around y/n as Hyunjin helped him to do so. He sat on the bed in front of the other two, as Hyunjin whispered reassurances to the omega in his lap, and trying to convince her omega that she was safe with them, and to allow y/n to come back to the surface.

It took almost an hour for them to coax y/n back to the present with them, her actions still telling them that her omega wasn’t far from surfacing again, should the need arise. The two betas traded relieved looks, before Seungmin looked over at Changbin, who still played the bouncer role, keeping the others out of the room, even as the two omegas looked like they were five seconds away from tackling the buff man just so they could get close to y/n again. She looked up at Seungmin, who could see that her eyes were no longer glazed over and almost dull looking, they looked to have some of that life and sunshine back in them. He breathed a sigh of relief, before asking her the hard question.

“Hey, how are you feeling, sunshine?” He asked her.

He got a groan, and a mumbled, “Tired.” in return.

He chuckled, expecting that answer after everything that happened. He knew now wasn’t the time to ask the harder questions, like what exactly made her panic like that, and how she was faring after the omega drop. That would come later, when she wasn’t as tired, and when she was a bit more coherent. Hyunjin kept her mind in the present, blabbering about anything and everything as he swayed them both side to side, trying to help keep her relaxed.

Seungmin knew that it wouldn’t be a bad idea to let the others in the room now that she’s back with them, but he’s worried that one of them might try and ask too many questions about what happened and that could cause her to drop back down or spiral. That was what he didn’t want to happen. Looking over at the eldest beta, he could see the eldest was subtly pointing at Felix.

Felix wouldn’t be a bad choice, he usually was the comfort that most of the boys went to when they just needed someone to be there for them, without any pressure, and when one of the betas weren’t around to help either. He also would probably be the most comforting to y/n at the moment, and the one who would pick up on any cues she showed, being a fellow omega. He nodded to Bin, who let Felix and only Felix into the room, despite Han’s whine. Their sunshine omega carefully approached the bed, not wanting to spook or shock y/n.

“Hey, y/n sweetheart, Felix wants to come over here. Is that alright with you?” Hyunjin asked her, pointing out Felix who was waiting for her permission.

She didn’t look back at him, eyes locked onto Felix as she nodded. The other omega could see unshed tears in her eyes, from when she was still emotional earlier. Felix walked closer to the bed, and as soon as he was within arms length of y/n the slightly older omega reached out and grabbed a hold of him, almost launching herself at him. He pulled her close, lifting her into his arms as they embraced, the rest of the pack watching them with happiness in their eyes.

Felix moved to sit them both down on the bed, Seungmin and Hyunjin both hung around to keep y/n happy. The two had tried to get up and leave, only for the smallest omega to whine at their attempt to leave. They ended up in a pile on the bed, y/n’s quiet giggles making their squished situation on the bed much more bearable.

During this, Han disappeared from the pack that was waiting outside the door, which was only himself and Jeongin at this point, and headed to the living room, where he could hear the two eldest discussing something. As the younger man walked into the room, the two men looked up at him as he made his way over to them.

“We have to talk.” Han stated, looking at the other two.

“What about?” Chan asked, concerned.

“About how we’re all treating y/n like she’s already a part of our pack, when we all know she isn’t. At least not yet.” Han replied.

“Why is that a problem? Isn’t it better that we’re treating her like pack?” Minho asked. “We’re getting along insanely well, she fits right in, her scent is amazing. What’s so wrong about treating her like she’s one of us?”

“What’s wrong, is that although I think all of us, and our respective alphas, betas and omegas, treating her like pack means everything good, and that she’s probably meant to be one of us, is that it’s what’s caused her to break down like this. Before this happens again, we all need to sit down and talk. I’m serious, because I can see she’s like me, and you know exactly how bad I got when he-who-shall-not-be-named left us and the pack. I don’t want her going through that, because we’ve all decided something without telling her.” Han says, slightly scolding the boys without directly doing so.

The two alphas were sheepish, knowing that they did kinda fuck up with what they’ve done so far. Though now that Han has explained it to them, they understand how exactly their actions could have contributed to this whole situation, and decide that they’ll be better about it in the future. Han then decides to drag them back to the room, now that the three of them have had this talk. In theory, should he have said this to all of them? Yes. But that would mean leaving y/n by herself, and that wasn’t a good idea right now.

Walking back to Seungmin’s room, they found that Jeongin had finally been let in, and Changbin had also stopped guarding the door. They took a peek inside the room, finding that the pack was softly talking with each other and y/n as they were scattered on and around the pack beta’s bed.

“It seems you’re doing better y/n. I’m glad.” Chan said, causing the others to notice them.

“Hyungs, Hannie, you’re back!” Felix welcomed the three men back into the room, happy to see them.

The three are quickly beckoned to join them, though Hannie is beckoned to join the beta/omega cuddle pile on the bed. Once he is close enough, Han is pulled into the pile by Felix, and the betas move around to let the omegas curl in the middle of the pile. This is how they all spent the next little while, letting them all relax in the company of the others, and conversation flows easily, but comfortable silences in between those little conversations. The omegas spend this time getting to know y/n better, asking all sorts of questions, wanting to know her better, and the others also occasionally ask their own questions to her as well. It’s more of an interrogation than a conversation, considering that the omega knows more about them, than any of them know about her.

After a while of this silence, Seungmin decided it was time to speak up, knowing that they really needed to talk things out with y/n.

“I think we really need to talk about what happened. I know it’s not easy to talk about it, y/n, but I think it’s something we need to have a conversation about. I know you haven’t known us long, but I hope that we’re able to talk honestly about these things.” Seungmin said, broaching the topic of y/n’s breakdown.

Y/n’s reaction was immediate as she sat up and looked down at her lap, avoiding eye contact with any of them. She took a breath, still not looking at any of them, before she started speaking.

“I started thinking about all of this, all of what’s happened in the last 24 hours. I went from talking to all of you at the fanmeet, and somehow going from that to being here, and not only being here, but Lee Know and Hyunjin coming to my hotel room, and then bringing me here. Then you all let me into your nest. Me, a fan, being let into your nest and then waking up there and I don’t remember how I got there. And then Minho went alpha on me. Neither mine or my omega knew how to process any of that, let alone the fact that you all treat me like pack when you barely know me. Why? Why me? I’m just a normal girl and you’re all Stray Kids. I don’t get it.” She spewed out, her breathing starting to speed up.

The boys looked shocked, though Han and the two eldest alphas looked less shocked than the others. Felix and Hyunjin started tearing up at her words, feeling so bad that they’ve caused her to feel this way. Han thought that he was right on what the cause of her drop and spiral was, and he felt bad that he was right.

“I feel so confused, I feel so at home here with you all, but before I met you all yesterday, I had never been around you at all. I shouldn’t feel this at home with all of you, let alone any of the alphas, but I am. And that terrifies me because I can’t figure out why. I don’t wanna leave, but I can’t help but worry that I’ll have to. Not even that I’ll have to, I will have to leave, I can’t stay here forever. I’m not one of you, I’m not a part of your pack.” She finished, tears dropping down onto her legs.

Chan moved to kneel on the bed in front of her, a hand reaching out to tilt her head up so he could look her in the eyes.

“Your feelings and the way you are feeling is perfectly valid. I want to say that before anything else. I am sorry for treating you like one of us, without any explanations and for going about this as we have been the last 24 hours. We’re at fault for, without a better way to say it, shoving you right in the deep end without saying anything that would have helped you and your omega understand why you went from being a fan at the fansign, to being here with us in our dorm. We’re at fault for that, and we should be the ones begging you for forgiveness.” Chan apologized, while explaining things slightly as well.

“I think why you feel at home with us, is because you’re meant to be one of us, meant to be part of the pack.” Han piped up, all eyes on him. “I said this to Chan-hyung and Minho jagi, but I think why we all took to you so quickly and why you took to us, is because you’re meant to be here, with us, as part of the pack.” He finished, sitting up and looking at y/n as he did so.

Y/n’s eyes had widened during Han’s explanation, and those who were looking at her could see understanding blooming in her eyes as she processed what Han said. She breathed in, wiping away her tears as she took in that they felt the same way she did, and that her feelings weren’t odd. She felt better now about her feelings, now that the boys explained to her what their feelings and thoughts on the situation were, and she expressed her relief to them, that it wasn’t just her, that they felt that way too.

Changbin, sensing that she needed a hug, got up, rounding the bed to sit down behind her as Seungmin pulled Felix out of the way. The buff beta’s arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her into his lap as he kissed the top of her head. She snuggled into his hold, getting comfortable on his lap. The other boys cooed at the two of them, to which y/n blushed, hiding her face in her hands.

This sweet moment couldn’t last, as y/n’s stomach rumbled, signaling that it was definitely time for food. Minho immediately took that as a sign to make food and in his alpha’s eyes, to provide for her. He moved to snatch her from Binnie’s grip, despite the yelling from said man to give her back, and takes her into his arms to take her with him to the kitchen. When he got there, he placed her down on the counter away from the space he’d need for cooking, but close enough that she was around for him to keep an eye on her. He quickly moved around the kitchen, checking what they had in the dorm, and finding that they had a lot, so he set out to make a bunch of different dishes. He made sure to include both spicy and non-spicy dishes, including some less spicy versions of dishes, for both his spice intolerant packmates, and y/n if she also turned out to not be a spicy food person.

As Minho cooked, y/n watched with rapt attention, aware of his every move, interested in watching him cook food for them all, while her omega whispered to her how good of an alpha he was, providing for her and his pack. She tried to move off of the counter once, to try and help the taller man, only for her to be picked right back up and placed on the counter once again.

“Stay here. Don’t move.” He told her, before moving back to cooking.

Soon enough, the others made their way out of the bedroom and into the main living area, some of them checking the kitchen and finding the duo. There were more than a couple teasing remarks made to Minho about his actions, and at least one spoon was thrown in the direction of those who made said remarks. Thankfully, food was quickly finished, and y/n hopped off of the counter, moving to take the plates and dishes out to the table, as Chan managed to find an extra chair for y/n to sit on. Chan sat at the head of the table, with Jeongin at the other end, as the others sat where they could find a spot. Y/n was directed to sit in between Seungmin and Changbin, the two betas keeping her company. The buffer of the two betas piling food onto her plate, making sure she was fed enough, and that the boys wouldn’t eat the rest of the food, leaving her with almost nothing. The conversation flowed as they ate, and not once did y/n feel out of place, they always made every effort to include her, as those that spoke English translated for those that didn’t speak the language as well.

After they had finished, the betas took care of the dishes, as it turned out it was their turn to wash up today. Y/n was walked, well really half-dragged over to the couches in the living room, by the youngest alpha, who decided it was his turn for attention. He sat her down on the smallest couch with him, so no one else could take up her attention, despite the whines and huffs about it from the others. He had a monopoly on her attention, well, until she was stolen by the other two alphas and placed in between them. This eventually ended up in her being surrounded by all eight members, as a movie day was decided on between all of them, with a little bit of everyone’s favorite movies being shown, with the exception of horror movies. Y/n sighed happily as she settled and happily enjoyed the movies and fighting that occurred.

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Taglist: @queen-thiccness @royal-shinigami @lolareadsimagines @palindrome969 @tiapatito202278ok

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uravitypng · 9 hours

Text

𝐢'𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬

pairing: bakusquad x chubby reader (katsuki bakugo + hanta sero + mina ashido + eijiro kirishima + denki kaminari)

word count: 4.4k words

a/n: definitely haven't been working on this for months <33 this turned out more fluffy than intended for a free use fic asdfghj. basically they all need to be dating!!! none of the bakusquad have any contact with each other... yet... idk i might make a part two where they're not just taking turns but all together with the reader

content warnings: free use, unprotected vaginal sex, oral (f!recieving & m!recieving), vaginal fingering, multiple orgasms, cockwarming, groping, biting, dumbification, slight breeding mention, somno, wlw, spanking, petnames - mdni (like my whole tumblr)

when becoming friends and roommates with the bakusquad you didn't realise what it would exactly entail. becoming friends with five successful pro heroes while you're a civilian is something you would never expect, not in your wildest dreams, so it's not a surprise to you that your feelings for them grew with each day and after a particular turn of events you let them use you however they wanted. if they want to take out their frustrations of a stressful day by roughly fucking you than you're more than willing to oblige to their request or if they want to tenderly make love to you after an emotional and exhausting day you're more than willing to oblige- you're their toy after all.

they'll use you anywhere and anywhen, it doesn't matter if you're in public or if you're sleeping, you've given them your full consent.

the first time it happened was with katsuki. he was angry and annoyed and you didn't know what to do, you've never truly seen him like this before and you haven't been friends with him as long as the others have been friends with him, you didn't want to make it worse. ideally you would ask the others what you should do but they were all busy working.

you later found out a journalist cornered him after a minor rescuing incident and asked him more intrusive questions than normal and that day it got to him more than normal too. for some reason the press always seems to ask him more personal questions than other heroes you know and you can't figure out why but you have a few ideas: to see his reaction, to get more information about his private life from him because he's one of the more secretive heroes, or to see his 'real' personality wondering if everything they see in public is all just an image.

"i'm sorry katsuki. is there anything i can do to make you feel a bit better?" you ask him and in less then ten seconds he's pinned you against the wall and is biting your bottom lip making you moan, giving him the opportunity to move his tongue into your mouth, intertwining your tongues and muffling any surprised noises that threaten to come out of you. you feel his large callus palms run all over your body as he pushes up your shirt and touches every single part of his skin he can get his hands on, leaving bruises and pretty marks to decorate your equally pretty body.

katsuki shoves his hand underneath your underwear, not bothering to take off your clothes and fingers you until you start screaming his name and your vision begins to go blurry.

"holy shit katsuki. feel's so good." he pumps two of his thick fingers inside of you and his ego soars as he not only feels how wet you are but hears it too as your cunt squelches and you clench around his fingers. he smirks as you come undone on his fingers chanting his name over and over again, your fists gripping onto his shirt tightly.

"this'll make me feel better," he grunts and tries to press his body closer to yours than it already was, your tits now completely pressed against him. "god shitty woman how oblivious can ya be? swear you're useless sometimes. a fucking dumbass." if you were someone else you might have taken offence to him calling you shitty woman or useless especially in the position you're currently in but you're use to him calling you names by now knowing he doesn't mean them negatively, if anything they're affectionate, most of the time he'll call people extras and you're glad he doesn't see you as an extra.

"oblivious?"

katsuki grits his teeth, "shut up," he grunts and you feel his hardened cock against your thigh, he slams his lips against yours again and starts kissing you even more furiously, if you didn't know better you'd say passionately but you don't think he'd ever kiss you passionately.

he sees your eyes glazed over with a daze on your face and smirks. his hand goes behind you to cups the curve of your ass then slaps with the sound echoing against the walls, making you whine. you feel the humidity that's resting on his palms and your whole body tingles imaging him using his quirk (controlled) on you.

"no one else has made ya feel this good have they sweetheart?" he asks gruffly already knowing the answer.

"no, no one else 'suki. no one has ever made me ever feel this good!" you reply honestly, tears starting to fill your waterline.

he knows you're being honest and if anything you're being more forgiving of your previous sexual encounters and talking more favourable about your past sexual partners than they deserve. "fuckin' criminal."

after what happened with katsuki you sat down with your friends and told them that you give them your consent to use you whenever. katsuki looked so much calmer after and his body looked more relaxed, less tension. you couldn't help but think that your other friends would be the same.

you were bashful the whole time while speaking, mumbling and looking away, your whole face felt like it were on fire but you were offering to help them all, you knew how stressful their work is and you wanted to help.

you want them, you wouldn't tell them that part though, neither did you ever have to think hard on your proposal.

all of them loved the idea, why wouldn't they? they're madly in love with you. over time all of them fell in love with you but none of them would ever make a move on you not willing to lose or jeopardise the friendship they have with you nor are they willing to make a move while knowing how the others feel about you either. you're sweet, and kind, and beautiful, and brilliant, and a hundred million more things that make you special in their eyes.

none of them thought they would ever get the chance to be with you in any such way, romantic or sexual, and they were more then content with being your friend, strictly platonic, but now they get to be your friend and they get to sleep with you, they're ecstatic.

hanta likes cockwarming with you, every single chance he gets he pulls you onto his lap and onto his cock without warning and puts on a movie to watch as he watches you squirm and try to keep still but it's so hard keeping still when the longest dick you've ever seen is inside of you and you feel it throbbing.

hanta sees you struggling and grins as you shift around and whimper quietly. you're biting your hand to try to keep silent but it's ineffective. "hush princesa, i'm trying to watch the film." he says teasingly, holding onto your plush waist to keep you from moving and lifts up your top, caressing your soft skin making you get goosebumps from the sensation of his cold rings touching you.

occasionally he'll lazily thrust up into you, making you squeak, he'll chuckle at the noises you make and get off on how needy you are for him. "you look so beautiful sitting on my lap mi amor," your heart flutters and your face heats up whenever he calls you affectionate names in his first language and especially when he calls you my love, "but aren't you suppose to be pleasing me? you seem very needy and demanding for someone who has offered their body to me." you shudder as he speaks, still with his hand caressing your body.

you look at him and pout, causing his grin to widen. "not my fault, you feel really good."

hanta's voice drops lower and becomes husky while he leans closer to you, "yeah?"

you nod your head and try to wrap your arms around him, admittedly unsuccessfully from the position you're currently in as you're facing away from him to 'watch' the movie with him, making hanta chuckle. "yeah," you reply.

hanta smirks as he looks down at you over your shoulder and tenderly strokes your arm, "beg me to move." with no hesitation you beg.

with everyone else they'll take what they want from you and get you to come as many times as they want (if they do want you to cum) without you having to beg but hanta is different, he'll make you cry and beg for him. no matter how horny he is he'll wait for you to become putty in his hands as you cry buried in the crook of his neck, trying to grind against him and wetting his shoulder with your tears, pleading for anything he gives you. he loves seeing you cry for him and plead for his cock.

you're always so pliant for him and he likes to make you even more pliant. as your reward for listening to him he grabs your wide hips and starts to move you up and down, harshly, making the ability to breathe leave your body momentarily at the sudden movement all while cooing at you, albeit condescendingly. "awe does that feel good princesa? you finding it hard to take it all?" he grins as you tip your head back and rests it on his shoulder, your moans getting louder, unable to respond and form a coherent sentence.

you feel like you feel him all the way in throat, a completely impossible thought of course but it's hard to think otherwise with each time he slams you back down and your pelvis meets his it's making you lose every braincell you have with how good you feel and how good he fills you up.

"open up," you compliantly open your mouth still in a daze and hanta spits in your mouth, grinning as he watches you swallow it without any prior audible command to do so already knowing from previous liaisons.

his pace changes, every so often becoming quicker with shallow thrusts than back to a regular pace with deeper thrusts just to tease you and make you light headed, not knowing what to expect next. his groans become more audible and he grips onto you tighter, his blunt nails making a crescent imprint on your hips. "s-shit hanta i can't, too much."

"i thought you were my good girl. you were begging for me only awhile ago." he smirks, starting to get close.

"i am! i am your good girl, promise! just 's a lot."

he chuckles at your obedience, you really are his good girl, made for him- and the others.

but he does wonder if you're that obedient with them as you are with him.

he purposefully slows down his pace and wraps one arm around your supple middle keeping you bouncing and tilts your chin up to look at him with his other hand before placing a gentle chaste kiss on your lips.

mina seizes every opportunity to lay lingering wet kisses down your neck all the way to your chest. you get goosebumps as you feel her breath against your skin and feel the sticky lipgloss left over from her lips.

mina never wears lipstick but she's nearly always seen wearing lipgloss and they're always flavoured ones, enjoying the look of how the sticky remnant remains on your skin after being transferred from her lips and how you seemingly unconsciously swipe your tongue out over your own lips afterwards to taste the flavour that remains.

whenever a man comes onto her apparently not understanding the word 'no' she comes straight to you afterwards so she can feel you up and touch your soft body and curves. you're so much better than anyone else and she's so glad that you let her touch you however and whenever she wants.

beforehand when someone was so persisted that it grossed her out she still would come to see you, you were roommates and very close friends after all. mina would complain about them and you would listen and bash them because how dare they keep being so disrespectful, unable to be take a hint or handle rejection.

the entire time when mina used to talk about them she'd think about how soft your lips looked, how good her hand would look wrapped around your throat and how she wants to go down on you so bad that you pull her hair and more importantly squeeze your thighs together in between her head.

"such a sweet little thing for me," she tells you and kisses your ankle. you whimper and she opens up your thighs wider for now, wanting to get a good look at your pretty pussy. mina flicks her tongue up against your pussy lips making a shiver run down your spine before her tongue enters into your soaking hole, moaning at your taste and your aroma, making her dizzy in the process. you can't help but squeal and shudder at the sensation as her eyes gleam with every new noise you make. she removes her tongue from inside of you, the sweet taste still lingering on her tongue. she flicks her tongue up again, curling two fingers back into you and starts sucking on your clit.

the pleasure builds up inside of you with every curl of her fingers, "that's a good girl, come for me," mina mumbles against your clit and you squeeze your thighs with mina's head between them, not being able to stop yourself as you're about to come again for the third time in an hour.

"oh fuck, min-" the last syllable of mina's name is silenced in an inaudible groan as the coil in your stomach snapped and you unravelled where she helped to ride out your orgasm still between your doughy thighs.

now she gets her wish whenever she wants as she's able to look up to see how your voluptuous body shakes. she gets to feel how soft and warm your thick thighs feel wrapped around her head.

as you calm down from another intense orgasm you move to look at mina, "what about you?" hinting that you desperately want to return the favour.

she can see the neediness in your eyes and giggles. "i can't right now sweet pea, i've got to go to work."

"already?"

mina giggles again, "i'll be back soon babes then we can carry on from where we left off, okay?" she smiles brightly and takes her leave feeling equalling as needy as you but who can blame her when she spent the last hour pleasuring you and feeling your plump body underneath hers and getting you see your gorgeous face scrunched up in pleasure. mina doesn't mind the needy feeling though as the look on your face is worth it as she leaves because she knows when she comes back home you'll make her feel just as good as she made you feel.

eijiro works nights a lot of the time which means typically you get woken up by him. this means most nights you sleep with only a nightie on or a baggy pyjama shirt foregoing underwear or pyjama bottoms so eijiro doesn't have to worry about fiddling with any layers and pulling them down. the only exemptions about the clothes are when it's particularly cold that night.

after work he'll want to feel your soft body squish in between his fingers as he presses down on your malleable skin, groping you wherever he can get his hands on and pumping his girthy cock in his other hand a couple times, wanting to be buried in that sweet cunt that he loves so much so it's no surprise to you to be woken up to his grunts and gentle thrusts.

whenever you do wake up he feels guilty. he knows you need, and like your sleep and he never intended to wake you up so he strokes the sides of your body and softly tells you to go back to bed while kissing your temple.

sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but no matter the outcome of trying to get you to go back to sleep your body always has the same reaction, mewls and moans leaving your body involuntarily and you becoming more and more wet with each thrust that it's dripping down to your thick thighs.

the times when you don't fall back to sleep you don't move much, very much a pillow princess in those moments but that's what eijiro prefers. he likes looking after you and treating you like the princess you are. he enjoys doing all the work so when you do wake up all you can do is rub your eyes sleepily and moan louder while he tries to shush you because no doubt someone has to be up in a few hours for patrol.

"p-please," you whine but you don't know what you're begging for. eijiro knows though as he pushes the remaining inches of his cock inside of you, you both hiss, and he slowly and deeply starts moving in you. you grab hold of his muscular forearms and whine about the pleasurable stretch.

you turn your head to the side so your neck is bare. he knows what you want more than your tired words can mumble out so he turns your neck further to the side than you did to keep you still and bites down, not hard enough to cause serious pain and break your skin but enough to hurt slightly and cause you to gasp, your mind momentarily going blank and your hips to jerk up.

before you started sleeping with eijiro you didn't know you liked the sensation of getting bitten so much until he bit you to keep himself quiet while at a very lively party. normally he wouldn't mind people hearing how good he makes you feel and vise versa but there was a minority of people at that party who were all trying to make a new hero commission and he didn't want to to draw attention to you or him with those people, knowing what the last commission did. even though you are just a civilian he wants to make sure they stay well away from you but still that wasn't enough to drag you into an empty room and fuck you until you couldn't stand after seeing how beautiful you looked that night.

ever since then biting became involved in your sex life. eijiro knew he liked biting people before you, he enjoys the surprised gasps and how bodies move but with you it's completely different, it's on a whole new level with how plump your body is, it's like heaven. no matter where he bites you there's always some part he can sink his teeth into making your body beautifully buck up uncontrollably. the whole experience and sensation making him groan and the noises you always make in bed are like no over- ethereal, just like the rest of you.

when he hears the slapping sound of your two bodies making contact get louder and louder and sees the creamy ring left over from each thrust he has to hold onto you tighter, gripping hold of your love handles, enough to leave bruises, and looking up at the ceiling not wanting to cum yet. he knows as soon as he looks down at your cute face or perfect body he'll immediately orgasm so to try and make himself last longer he'll look up.

that on top of the quicker pace and him touching your clit, just the way you like it, makes you come. you clench around him and moan words incomprehensibly causing him to come too as he feels you get tighter around him.

"gonna clean you up in a second baby just let me stay inside you for awhile." at this point you're both falling asleep, he wraps his muscular arms around you tighter and manhandles your chubby body so you're laying on top of him, your arm on his chest and your face in his neck, the whole time making sure his dick doesn't accidentally slip out of you. even though you're semi conscious you know that you're going to be sleeping like this all night, both of you are too tired to move, with your last moments of consciousness being your slow blinks that you use to gaze up at eijiro admiring how handsome he is, you like when his hair is down after showering because without it being styled to be spiky you can see his roots coming through, red mixing with his natural black, even now when he's half asleep and ready for bed he looks just as handsome as he does at any fancy hero event he attends. "you feel too good to get up and leave and anyway i've got to plug you full, breed you properly to make sure it sticks." he mumbles against your forehead half asleep, drifting off only a minute or so after.

out of everyone denki is the one to touch you the most, if no one else is kissing you he's taking the opportunity to kiss you and hold you all over. he's the most emotional and vulnerable when it comes to sex too. he feels safe around you, to let his carefree persona down and to be sensitive and vulnerable, just staying fully in the moment with you.

the first time you slept together, you kissed his chest all the way to his hips making his hips buck up. he had wanted you so bad for so long and now he finally had you.

originally, you had stroked his cock for the first time and you heard a string of moans and it immediately turned you on more than you already were. as he got closer to his release he said breathy, "please don't stop, this will probably be the only chance i ever get to touch you." it had shocked you not realising that he felt that way but you didn't stop, doing what you were told, and knowing you were going to talk to him after.

not long after, he came and you threw your arms around him, arms wrapped around his neck and clinging onto him. he was still catching his breath, "do you really think this was a one time thing denki? i told you all before that i want to do this." he blushed and squished your cheeks, a habit he had picked up on doing recently at the time, you swat his hands away and giggle, denki smiles.

denki is also the most possessive which surprised you, if you thought anyone would be possessive your guess would be katsuki but it's really denki. he gets jealous when you spend more time with the others than you do with him and will want your attention. it's even more noticeable when it comes to other people who aren't in the bakusquad.

if you ever smile too cheerfully at someone, laugh too loudly at someone's jokes or if someone flirts with you he gets extremely jealous, you never flirt back though, you have everything you need and sometimes you don't even realise they were flirting in the first place.

at times like that denki is the most vulnerable. as soon as you both get home he's kissing you tenderly and holding you like fragile treasured glass in his arms. most of the time he takes you to the bedroom and lays you on the bed but this time he pushes your head down gently and you fall to you knees carefully. "do you need a cushion babe?"

your heart warms at how considerate he is. you look up at him and shake your head, "i'm okay," you smile up at him and you don't miss the way his cheeks are dusted pink. unzipping his jeans and pulling them down, along with his boxers that already are wet with precum leaking from his cock, you kiss his thigh and stare at his .

denki holds onto your head as you part your lips and open your mouth, taking him in your mouth. you hollow your cheeks and grab a hold of his thighs. he keeps his hips still no matter how much he wants to rut inside your wonderful wet and warm mouth. when his hips do occasionally buck it makes you gag before he corrects himself and pushes back against the wall trying to control himself not to pound up into you, he wants you to control the pace. the moans that he makes as you take him further only spur you on as your pace gets quicker and your nose presses against his lean stomach momentarily before having to leave and gasp for air. denki may not be as thick as eijiro or as long as hanta but he's still big, more than people would assume, he's bigger than average (only if slightly.) denki's arm rests of his head while he takes deep breaths.

"fuck babe that was-" you cut him off as you take him in your mouth again and wrap your lips around him and you hollow your cheeks once again. his moans and groans become more frequent and you can tell that he's about to come.

his grip get's tighter while resting on your head and his groans get deeper. "gonna come, you swallow alright babe." you hum in confirmation, "shit, shit, shit," his eyebrows pinch together and his hot cum sprays in ropes at the back of your throat and you mourn not being able to properly fully taste him. denki lifts you up by your elbows and when you come face-to-face you kiss his cheek, he's not satisfied with that though and he passionately makes out with you not caring that he just came in your mouth and is holding onto your plush waist while grinning against your lips. "bedroom." he whispers in your ear making you shudder at the demanding tone he used, not often does he use it but whenever he does... well it makes your whole body tingle.

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alllgator-blood · 11 hours

Note

We have had big shows of narinder, shamura, and kallamar angst. Heket hasn't been fully outright said but certainly implied and noticeable. What about the baby of the family

I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED ACTUALLY- I have a few comics that get into my idea for what Leshy Angst would be. They moreso tie into heket and shamura's angst as well but he's the first focus of this one specific comic I unfortunately never finished the sketches for...

I posted a few panels from this in a sketch dump a while ago, so here's the continuation of the comic I posted where leshy is flexing his incredible art skills (with a page taken out):

[this is the part where the page is taken out, and also where I'm putting a cut cause this post is super long]

This dialogue/art is all subject to change but this is the base idea! This comic takes place on the one-year anniversary of the red crown schism, and is supposed to explore all of the bishops' relations to the stages of grief. Heket is denial, Leshy is anger, Kallamar is bargaining, Shamura is depression and Narinder is acceptance (lol). Leshy is actually the only one I got the sketches done for which is why I'm happy to hear you ask about him specifically! So in short, my leshy angst is basically him running around in circles screaming WHY WON'T ANYONE TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON!! WHY ARE YOU ALL ACTING LIKE IT'S OKAY THAT MY FACE IS GONE??? because everyone still sees him as you worded it in your ask, the baby of the family. They don't want to freak him out by saying he's never gonna get his eyes back, shamura as the sibs knew them is pretty much gone, and narinder will never stop hunting them down.

I have a heket angst comic that was supposed to be my first big project, but it got put on the backburner cause I was having trouble writing for it. It's pretty much entirely about her and shamura coming to terms with the fact they're gonna die soon, and making sure the brothers don't ever find out. Leshy and heket's angst directly ties into each other, because one of them is desperate to protect the other and the one being protected does NOT want that.

This is close to the end but there's still more after this part, I have....SO MUCH to say about these comics but I probably shouldn't infodump about my ideas all at one or I'll run out of shit to talk about

#long post #cotl #cult of the lamb #leshy #heket #shamura #kallamar

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erenqueef · 3 days

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𝐠𝐨𝐣𝐨★𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮

warnings: mature content! - smut

𝓈𝓉𝓊𝒷𝒷ℴ𝓇𝓃 𝒻ℯ𝓂 𝓇ℯ𝒶𝒹ℯ𝓇

title: one date

(this was originally uploaded on wattpad)

annoying. that's how you describe him. childish. why did he get on your nerves so much? was it his cocky attitude? his confidence? what was it? maybe it's his.. tall legs, or his blood sweating torso. the way he's heavily breathing-

"y/n." he snaps his fingers. "did you forget to drink your coffee this morning or what?" he asks with his signature grin. smiling despite the condition he's in.

the fight was over, it's been over. now it's just you two in this abandoned building.

you snap out of your daze, realizing you were zoned out on his scratched up body. "shut up, just- are you okay?"

"am i okay? im always okay y/n. im satoru gojo!"

"yeah yeah.. whatever. can we just go back now?"

"your always in such a mood. can i at least try and lighten you up?" he pouts.

you don't know if it's the messy hair or the fact his shirts ripped to shreds, or even the fact his piercing blue eyes are beaming into yours sense his blindfold is hung around his neck. but you feel something you didn't want to feel. and it was your wet underwear.

"lighten it up how exactly?" you ask crossing your arms, trying your best to control where your eyes are looking, which are flicking between his eyes and shoulders.

he looks to the side, like he's thinking really hard though you knew what he was gonna say considering he asks it all the time. looking back to you he grins again.. "one date, it's all i ask!"

"no."

"come on! you should feel blessed to have the best person in the world giving you this opportunity!"

"you're the most annoying person in the world." you scoff.

stepping closer, he lifts your chin to his gaze. "i can easily make you change your mind if you let me."

you bite the inside of your cheek, as much as you'd like to give in to him, you're too damn stubborn. "..how will you change my mind?"

"will you let me?"

"fine." you look off to the side again, are you feeling nervous? well that doesn't matter cause he forces you to look at him again.

"stop looking away." he smirks. "don't tell me im making you flustered.."

"oh please stop tooting your own horn."

"your tooting it too, your cheeks are all red." he smiles, his thumb tracing your cheekbone.

"you must be color blind." your eyebrows furrow, but you don't back away when he leans closer, you can feel his hot breath on you.

(play: party & the after party- the weeknd)

"you know, my six eyes are never wrong y/n, they're telling me to kiss you, actually that's my brain."

your heart thumps harder, your walls clenching to doll the ache of wanting something inside you. "you always get what you want like a damn brat, so im not letting you."

he leans in closer, his index finger and thumb now holding your chin in place. "but i know for a fact you want it too, don't you?" he says above a whisper, his voice growing deeper.

"i don't have to answer your questions, satoru."

"then i'll take it as a yes."

you open your mouth to speak but instead of words coming out a moan does when he smashes his lips against yours like a hungry animal. his tongue immediately sliding into your mouth to fight with yours for a battle of dominance.

your hands unconsciously find there ways to his stupid slutty fucking waist, how is this man sculpted better then you?

you feel him smirk into the kiss, witch pisses you off cause you know your giving in and giving him what he wants. but you want this too. and your pussy is basically screaming like a cat in heat.

grabbing beneath your thighs he lifts you up without breaking away from your lips for a second. your legs wrapping around his waist causing you to let out a breathily moan, your pussy pulsing against the bulge in his pants. he was already fucking hard.

he walks over to an old desk that was in the abandoned building you were in, placing you down. it was high enough where you can still feel his bulge pressing against you.

he lays you down, climbing right on top of you and grinding himself against your warmth. his lips breaking away from yours only to leach onto your neck. his lips warm and wet. causing a moan to slip from your throat. his lips felt so fucking good against your skin.

he sucks and grinds his teeth against your skin hard enough to leave a huge hickey on the side of your neck. it hurt like hell, but you took the pain just cause it's gojo causing it.

you feel his long lengthy fingers trail down your body, stopping right at your lower stomach before pushing harshly, causing your back to arch and you to let out a loud moan. damn it, he knows what the fuck he's doing.

he lets out a low chuckle. "so that does work.." he looks back into your eyes, he leans close but not close enough to give you the satisfaction of his lips, he wanted you to look at him. he slid his fingers under the rim of your pants before tugging them. "cmon at least help me a little."

rolling your eyes you lift up and help him remove your uniform pants. he backs up and stands on his knees above you. of corse you had to be wearing a thin layered pink thong today. you watch as his grin grows wider, he holds your legs by the back of your knees and pushes them to you, you hold your legs up for him as he looks down and grins at the puddle leaking from your panties, you were drenching wet at this point.

without warning his fingers press against your wet underwear, his finger gliding underneath the fabric and pulling them to the side, leaving your soaked folds to his sight. he hops off the desk and gets on his knees, he spreads your folds apart with his thumbs. you clench your walls in and out desperately. "satoru.."

"you're so fucking wet y/n." he asserts as one of his thumbs rubs between your folds and into your pussy. you let out a moan as he curls it in and out of you. "god your so wet for me.. who knew eh?" he smirks.

"shut up.." you lift your head and look down at him. your eyes lidded and your eyebrows furrowed.

"look at you barking orders as if im not the one in control here.." he grins, pulling his thumb out of you, under his fingernail flooded by your juices. he stands up and unbuckles his belt, he drops his pants and boxers freely, his cock was fucking huge. "cmere." he drags you closer to the edge of the desk, pulling you to sit up straight so your face to face. "im getting that date."

he guides the head of his cock to your entrance, using his thumb to rub it through your glistening folds before pumping his whole length inside of you with no warning.

a loud whimper escapes your lips as he throws your ankles over his shoulders, he wraps his arms around your back and picks you up off of the desk, holding you like you weighed a feather as he thrusts his cock in and out of you at a fast pace. "fuck, i hate you." you whine.

"you love me," he grins "tell me you love me." his voice became needy for words of affirmation, he wanted- no he needed to hear you say it.

"i-.." it was hard to even speak considering he was literally ramming into your pussy. "fuck."

"tell me, y/n. tell me you love me."

your eyes look into his, he looked so fucking beautiful up close. "i love you," you grit your teeth. "and i fucking hate you."

he presses his lips against yours he places you back down on the desk with his member still deep inside, paused for a moment before pumping it into you again as you lay your back down on the desk. "atta girl." he smirks, grabbing at your thighs as he pounds you. "now tell me you belong to me."

"satoru!" you angrily moan.

"do you want to cum or not."

annoying, like i said. "im.. yours."

he climbs on top of you and flips one of your legs over so your on your side. "good girl. how bad do you need to cum?"

"so fucking bad satoru."

"cum with me y/n.. im so close." he closes his eyes and starts to heavily pant. "im gonna cum y/n."

"look at me satoru.. im close too.." you whisper between moans, it was hard to keep your eyes open but also hard to look away. the face he made as he quickened up was so fucking sexy. your so mad at yourself right this second but it doesn't matter. gojo was on top of you, fucking you like a fucking champ.

he grits his teeth. "im cumming." his speed picks up, the only thing to be herd was his skin slapping against yours and his deep grunts and your whiney moans.

"don't stop!" you whine, "im-" your orgasm washes over you, your walls tightening around his cock, causing him to let out a hot moan, he was done cumming but he wasn't gonna stop till you rode out your orgasm.

"fuck y/n. you look so hot right now.." his lidded eyes watch you as you ride out your high on his cock, allowing you to buck your hips against him.

once you were finally done you both stop moving to catch your breaths, he slowly pulls out of you as a mixture of his cum and yours spills out of you. "i hate you so much." you breath.

"not uh..." he teases, grinning again as he leans in and pecks your lips. "so, did that convince you enough?"

you smirk. "no."

"aw come on, im gonna pick you up tonight at 7, and we're gonna have a good time."

"i cant stand you satoru, your a pain."

"i know, but you love me!" he winks. "be ready at 7 or else im gonna have to fuck you till your crying next time."

★

#gojo satoru #jjk x reader #gojo x reader #gojo smut #gojou satoru x reader #oneshot #smut #jujutsu kaisen #satoru smut #gojo x y/n #wattpad #jjk oneshot #spicy content #anime #jjk #18+ only #18+ content #gojo fluff

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thefallenangelsgang · 2 days

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Fuck it, I'm throwing my hat on the ring about the Emil announcing Nate from Fallout 4 is the bystander Soldier in the Fallout 1 opener.

First and foremost, it was a stupid thing to say. As he backtracks to later, the conceit of Fallout's protags is they are supposed to be anyone (and that issue is precisely why some people hate the extensive prewar character background given to you in Fallout 4). For the lead writer to pull a JK Rowling (why would you do that? None of those went over well) is such a major marketing misstep that it wouldn't surprise me if Emil gets reprimanded for it before we even get into the implication of what he said.

Emil your voice is as good as God when it comes to the canon. You can't just say shit like that and expect it to go well. Especially considering the implications.

Speaking of the implications, I'm not mad about Nate being a war criminal. It's a coloring I actually would welcome if the games discussed concepts like Capitalism, Racism, and War in any meaningful way anymore. And if Emil also didn't say this.

Fallout's canon is rooted in reality. That is part of its whole thing. It's fun to do goofy shit like becoming the Silver Shroud and having a make believe superhero fight with the Mechanist or write a woman obsessed with Nuka Cola so much she traverses two games to basically kidnap the CEO's cryogenically preserved head so she can talk to him for all eternity, but the setting is very much rooted in reality.

You aren't dealing with fictional countries, you aren't dealing with fictional races, you aren't dealing with fictional hypotheticals. That is The Elder Scrolls job. You are dealing with actual countries, actual racism, actual history, and actual fucking politics. You have to be mindful of what you are doing and saying. You can't just do things because it's an interesting plot device without first thinking about the implications.

Fallout's world is a heightened version of our own, a path we seem to stumble towards with ever passing year unless we do something about it. It fucking sucks. I'm sure writing it feels like prophesizing the future and eats your soul a bit. It would mine. But that doesn't mean Fallout can just take a sharp left in terms of story and reality and get away with it.

To have Nate be the bystander Soldier and then meet him when he has a very good thing going for him (an expensive house during an inflation crisis, a robot butler, he gets into a vault for free for fucks sake) very much speaks to life rewarding him for his crimes. There is no hatred in his words when he looks at the flag of the country that made him kill innocents. His speech is speaks of remorse for leaving his family and the cycle of war, it does not speak of the horrors. Of watching you comrades bleed out in the Anchorage snow. Of the scream of shells overhead. Of the fear in civilians eyes as your buddy puts a bullet between them.

You all have to see how it looks like the man is fine with what he had to do during the war, right?

Not interacting with these concepts enough paints a picture of apathy and acceptance. In this day and age where being keeping the government honest and responsible for their actions is so important, that isn't going to slide without it being EXTREMELY purposeful, which it is not. It's tone deaf and lazy.

I respect a lot of what Emil has done in the past, but I am not above keeping him culpable when he has something so delicate in his hands. I hope this situation is what he needed to get his head on straight, or is the light bulb moment where he realizes he needs to pass the torch onwards. There is no shame in subject matter becoming too much as time goes on. There is shame in letting a previously critical series become the very thing it was criticizing.

He is going to keep getting dragged until he realizes that or he manages to convince the fans to be complicit in the degradation of setting. In doing so he is going to lose Bethesda most of its biggest fans who well and truly love the series and what it stands for.

But that's just my take, and I'm just a kid who studies polisci and history and can't shield myself from the inherent horror of nuclear war no matter how much I try.

War really never changes

#fallout #fallout 4 #fo4 #fallout new vegas #fallout 3 #fallout 2 #fallout tv series #fallout tv show #emil pagliarulo #bethesda

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matan4il · 3 days

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Don't think I'll get over the irony of someone posting about the whole "40 beheaded babies" is a lie thing and then saying the death toll is 33000-55000.

Where the hell did they get 55000? Never seen that claimed by anyone, not even hamas. But, yeah Israel is the evil lier.

Like, how the heck can someone decry something as a lie while spewing lies? The fact that post had so many reblogs makes me think everyone is a dumb hypocritical asshole.

Hi Nonnie, I absolutely agree with you! In fact, the "40 beheaded babies" was people conflating two different things (confusing a report that there WERE Israeli kids and babies beheaded, tortured and mutilated, with a specific number that was reported in a different context) and basically creating a strawman argument (that's when people in a debate argue something the opposing side said isn't true, even though that side never said it). Which makes the fact that people who screamed about it were actually lying when they were (or supporting a lie) while they continue to take the unreliable (at the very least) Hamas numbers as gospel truth.

I've also noticed the inexplicable inflation of numbers related to Palestinians in a lot of different contexts. It's like the anti-Israel lie is never big enough, so people have to keep inflating it! There's the 33,000 fatalities claimed by Hamas which keeps being inflated by people online (I haven't seen specifically the 55,000 figure, but I have seen people constantly up the number from that claimed by Hamas).

There's the number of how many Palestinians lived in Gaza before the war. Officially, it's 2.1 million people, but then I saw people start to quote it as 2.2 million Gazans, then 2.3 million, and once I've even seen a post claiming there were 2.5 million people in Gaza before the war, I guess all in attempt to make Israel out to be a bigger monster, by exaggerating the number of people endangered and suffering due to this war.

I've also seen the number of north Gazans finding refuge in Rafah grow exponentially... Over one night (between Feb 12 and 13 according to our time zone), when Israel was rescuing 2 of its hostages held in Rafah from Hamas in a limited operation (it had to be limited in scope, so as not to alert too many terrorists to what Israel was doing, and increase the danger to the soldiers and hostages), Tumblr filled up with anti-Israel posts claiming that Israel had started bombing/has launched its ground operation in Rafah, and was nastily doing it during the Superbawl to take advantage of how distracted Americans would be (I cannot stress enough how much Israelis have no idea about the Superbawl... or American football in general). To make it all the more emotionally loaded, they kept insisting that Israel is bombing all the Gazans who found refuge in Rafah, and it's insane to see how the number of evacuees increases by hundreds of thousands over the course of just a few hours, from 1.1 million refugees in the first posts to 1.5 or 1.6 in some of the posts made later that same night.

I guess there's just no number that can't be fabricated if your goal is to turn people against the Jews...

I hope you're doing well, Nonnie! xoxox

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corpsebasil · 1 day

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HC’s for Hunger Games Nikolai Au

GoodLordhessohandsomeoanasojsossiie

You won the games when you were fifteen. Whaaaaat a player, too. When it was down to the final two you, wielding the skills taught to you at illegal training academies, easily dispatched your opponent and earned the crown. Nikolai, your mentor, had been there to comfort you when the reality of the games began to catch up to you.

Wait here—

^^me jumping into his arms after the games

“Nik.” Your voice is small when you sit up straight, legs slightly wobbly underneath you. Your mentor, Nikolai, has a frown on his face as he steps into the room. The Capitol has you shacked up in some sort of hospital; the hovercraft had taken you on a short ride after your extraction from the arena. “Nikolai, I…” You can only stare, eyes teary, a grief you don’t know how to convey tightening your chest.

“I know.” He murmurs, reaching your bedside in only a few short strides. You flinch at his touch, one foot still in the arena, but soon he’s found himself wrapped up in you. He doesn’t speak when you tremble. Just rubs your back, feeling your arms tighten around his waist like snakes. “That’s it. I’ve got you now, yeah?”

You sniffle at the soothing notes of his voice, so different from the screams that had haunted the arena. So much death. When you finally pull away to look up at him you’re slightly surprised to find his own blue eyes a bit teary. You force a weak smile.

“How bad do I look?” You joke, your words unsteady. Nikolai stares in silence for so long your heart begins to pound.

He reaches out carefully, one hand resting against the side of your dirty face. His clean thumb smooths a line through the grime and blood on your cheek, revealing the skin beneath. Your gaze tracks the lone tear that escapes his eye before he blinks quickly, nodding at you and backing up.

“Good to see you can take my advice.” He jokes, raising his brows in reference to your track record of not doing that at all in the arena.

“I won, didn’t I?” You scoff, but something about the way he’d looked at you, something about the fact way he’d been so gentle, had pulled at your heart.

“Don’t get cocky.” His grin is a slash of white. “Everyone is the Capitol is already singing your praises to high Heavens. I honestly think every single citizen had hearts in their eyes when you won.”

“Great.” You say drily. “Just what I wanted.”

The two of you share a fast smile before he nods to the door.

“Let’s go. I’d like to talk to your stylist for a minute before the interviews.”

——

Ummm more HC’s….

We’ll talk more about Coen, another OC of mine, in later HG series posts. But just know that basically he was tribute that you mentored with Nikolai when you were seventeen and he died. Yeah. RIP Coen you beautiful S.O.B. you were liked while you were here.

So you don’t get with Nikolai until you’re like. Twenty. Sorry but I don’t see you guys getting together sooner than that it just doesn’t make sense for the both of you.

So one day you’re at home in Victor’s Village for District Two. Your house, being farther from most of the others, ends up becoming Nikolai’s pretty much second home. You spend all your time together; you share your meals, even share your bed with him. Nothing happens in that bed, obviously, even if you’ve begun to look at him differently lately.

Let’s be so for real you never looked at him as just a friend throughout the entire time you’ve known him but the line just wasn’t crossed okay?

But the two of you had been sharing some wine and acting stupid, dancing around your kitchen as you played music on the stereo. When you both stopped, your arms around his neck, his around your waist, the two of you laughed for a second before you were looking up, your nose brushing the side of his when your turn your head.

You both freeze a bit, neither pulling very far apart as you get a good look at one another.

His blue eyes focus on yours for a moment before he’s dragging his gaze slowly down to your mouth, his hands on your waist tightening. You cant help it, honestly! Blame the wine okay! But suddenly you’re pulling him closer and somehow you’ve ended up on top of the kitchen counter and he’s kissing you deeper and deeper.

^ me and him

#nikolai lantsov #shadow and bone #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai x reader #shadow and bone imagine #fluff #the hunger games #the hunger games Au #catching fire #katniss everdeen

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imzadi-caskett-huddy · 1 day

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It Started With a Kiss (3/?)

Thanks to everyone for reading and leaving reviews on this story thus far! I know a lot of you are frustrated and screaming for her to just make her choice already, but Kate Beckett is a complex woman, and it’s complicated, lol. There is a difference between knowing what you really want and going for it, despite its potential to wreck you, and staying with the safe choice, especially for a woman with Kate’s emotional baggage. Be patient, there will be a payoff! I’m pro-Caskett…you NEVER have to question who Beckett will end up with eventually in my stories; it's simply a matter of the journey for her to get there.

This chapter is based on the episode “The Final Nail” and takes place a week after the previous chapter. Just a reminder, I am following the same basic outline of the show with regard to cases and episodes, so imagine everything happening in the episodes that you’ve seen, with the only changes being my alternate or added scenes.

I still don’t own anything from Castle.

xxxxx

Beckett was waiting for him outside of the Westlake house. This entire case had been difficult for him; when Castle really believed in someone, he believed in them with his entire being. Finding out someone who had been so important to him, who he had put so much unwavering faith in was a killer took its toll. She knew he had to be devastated. That’s why she was here–not to rub it in his face or to arrest Damian herself…in fact, she had made sure she was not the arresting detective on record…but to support her friend, her partner. “‘Show me a hero, and I’ll write you a tragedy.’ F. Scott Fitzgerald said that.”

Castle gave her a sad look as he came down the steps. “It must’ve been Ernest Hemingway who said, ‘Man, I sure could use a drink right about now.’” His tone was deflated.

She gave him a small smile. “Lead the way. I’m buying,” she gave a small gesture with her shoulder.

Her offer shocked him slightly, but he started down the street anyway; it may have shocked him, but he wasn’t going to turn it down. “It’s Valentine’s Day. Shouldn’t you be at a nice candlelit restaurant wearing a new dress ordering surf and turf?” He refused to add with your boyfriend. He didn’t need to think about that.

“I’ve got a couple of hours. You okay?” she asked, falling into step alongside him.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he insisted.

She knew better. “Liar,” she said with a playful nudge of her shoulder to his as they walked.

He sighed. “I just can’t believe my trust in him was misplaced all this time,” he shoved his hands in his coat pockets. “You were right about him this whole time. I should’ve trusted you. And I owe you an apology.”

She shook her head. “You don’t owe me an apology. I wasn’t right about him killing his wife. In fact, your belief in him was the reason we caught the real killer,” she told him softly. “And for the record, I didn’t want to be right about him,” she added, placing her hand on his arm gently as they stopped at a crosswalk.

“We caught the real killer because you continued to dig and look for the truth, even though you were convinced Damian was behind her murder.”

“Like I told him…you believed in him. And I believe in you,” she replied softly, meeting his eyes for a moment. When the light at the crosswalk changed, she let her hand drop from his arm and began crossing.

It took him an extra second to process her words coupled with the look in her eyes and the fact that her hand had been on his arm...because they didn't touch like that...before he followed her.

xxxxx

Castle hadn’t even paid attention to the name of the bar he’d led her into; it was just the first one he’d seen that didn’t look like a dive as they had been walking. Now he sat on a stool at the bar, looking into his glass of Scotch silently.

Beckett had situated her stool a little closer to him than usual, her body turned slightly so that she was open and facing toward him. She took a drink of her beer, allowing the silence to settle as she studied him. She knew better than anyone that sometimes just sitting in companionable silence was better than talking, so she was hardly the one to push him for conversation before he was ready.

“Thank you for everything you did for me on this case,” he finally stated, taking a drink of the alcohol in his glass. He meant it. She’d handled him gently when she’d had the boys bring in Damian. Before she’d interrogated him, she’d been understanding and soft as she reminded Castle he wasn’t going to want to be in the interrogation room when she took his friend apart. When she’d arrested him, she’d brought in a uniform to place the handcuffs and pull him out of the room instead of doing it herself; she didn’t have to do any of it that way, but she had in order to try to lessen the blow of it all, and he appreciated it. “I was less than objective, and you didn’t have to let me stay.”

She offered him a smile. “You’re my partner…even when you were being less than objective,” she shrugged. He may not have been objective, but after she had let him back on the case, he hadn’t interfered. If he had, she would have kicked him off the case for good; but she had

definitely given him a little more leeway than she would have given someone else. And she of all people knew how difficult it was to find out someone you’d believed in wasn’t who you thought they were; he’d been by her side last fall when she’d had to arrest Royce.

Her words brought a genuine smile to his face. “Still…thank you.” He was quiet for another moment as his smile faltered a little. “I guess I’m not as good at judging a person’s character as I thought.”

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up. I told you…the version of Damian you knew was the version a homesick little boy needed him to be. I don’t think anyone would fault you for clinging to that; I certainly don’t,” she started, lightly resting her hand over his. “People change, Castle, and they only let us see what they want us to see. I know all too well about misplaced trust in old friends,” she said softly, taking a drink of her beer. “It doesn’t mean your judgment is flawed. You know…I actually wish I were a little more like you.” Seeing his questioning look, she continued. “You’re able to trust so easily, you always see the best in people…” she trailed off with a shrug. “I’ve been a cop too long to do either of those things. I can count on one hand the number of people I have complete, blind trust in, and I’m sure you’ve noticed I don’t exactly see the best in people or situations.”

He gave a soft chuckle at that. “Maybe I should adopt your strategy. It would let me avoid looking like an idiot when my blind trust in someone is misplaced.”

She shook her head. “Don’t. You’re an optimist, Castle…that’s who you are. Don’t let what Damian did destroy that part of you,” she told him seriously. “I like that about you…sometimes I need your optimism. Your silver linings remind me that there’s still hope and light out there. Some days I really need that,” she admitted.

Before he could respond, her phone chimed to signal a text. Seeing her frown slightly as she read it, he raised an eyebrow. “Everything ok?”

“Yeah. Josh is just stuck at the hospital tonight,” she answered, taking another swig of her beer. “No surf and turf this Valentine’s Day,” she made a joke from his earlier words. She realized she should probably be upset that her boyfriend had just canceled their romantic dinner plans a couple of hours before they were supposed to take place, but she honestly felt more relief than anything, and she knew that didn’t bode well for their relationship. He’d been out of the country for a month; she should have been excited to spend the evening and night with him, upset that he’d canceled again, but she just…wasn’t, at least not really.

He studied her for a moment, trying to gauge how upset she was over her plans being canceled. She seemed a little perturbed, but not overly sad. “Well…it’s not surf and turf, but can I tempt you with burgers and shakes at Remy’s?” he suggested cautiously, just in case she was more upset than she was letting on.

She raised an eyebrow slightly, considering his invitation. She wasn’t sure she should agree to dinner with him on Valentine’s Day of all days. There was definitely something more than friendship between them…enough that agreeing to his suggestion could potentially be dangerous considering the lines that had occasionally blurred between them during the last few weeks, first with that undercover kiss, then with his confession that she had simply shrugged off to too much alcohol at the time, then with their undercover date at the club a week ago. On the other hand, burgers and shakes from Remy’s were hardly romantic, and he’d had a really difficult day. Would keeping him company so neither of them had to be alone really be the worst way to spend the holiday? “Sure, Castle. Why not?” she agreed.

He genuinely smiled at that. Sure, she wasn’t his girlfriend, and it wasn’t a romantic dinner, but he still got to spend Valentine’s Day with Kate Beckett. After this whole Damian Westlake case, it seemed that the universe was doing him a solid.

xxxxx

They had stopped by the precinct so Kate could grab her things. She’d decided to hold off on finishing the paperwork on the Westlake case until the following morning before Castle showed up. She didn’t need him looking over her shoulder as she finished processing everything. They’d opted to walk the few blocks to Remy’s and were now seated in a familiar booth with their mostly eaten burgers and shakes in front of them.

“Can I ask you a question?” Castle asked her seriously.

She arched an eyebrow, setting her shake back on the table and resting her forearms on the flat surface. “Since when do you ask permission to ask me anything?” she pointed out.

She definitely had a valid point; he typically just asked her whatever was on his mind and it was her decision whether or not she would answer it...and how irritated she would be that he asked whatever it was. “Earlier at the bar…you said you could count on one hand the people you trust completely.”

Ah, she understood where this question was going. He wanted to know who she had that much trust in. “My dad, obviously. Montgomery. Espo. Ryan. Lanie. And you,” she answered him easily.

“Me?” he was a little surprised by that answer. He’d obviously hoped to be on the list, and he knew she trusted him to a point, but he hadn’t realized he had earned that level of trust from her. He also couldn’t help but be pleased Josh’s name was not on the list.

“You,” she nodded, suddenly a little more interested in the fries left on her plate that meeting his eyes. “You’re my partner. Even when you annoy the hell out of me, you always have my back,

you always back my play. You are the only person I’ve ever shown every detail of my mom’s case to, the one I trust to stop me before I fall back down the rabbit hole, the person I want with me when I take down whoever is behind it,” she explained, knowing that she wouldn’t have to tell him anything else beyond the fact he’s the only person she trusts with her mother’s case; that alone would completely explain the level of trust she placed in him.

Her admission shocked him enough that he didn’t know what to say for once. “Wow. I…uh…I’m honored,” he finally managed.

“You’ve earned my trust,” she told him honestly. “I mean it when I say, you are my partner.”

They stared at each other for a few moments, the air between them growing thick with the unspoken tension. “You know, technically you listed 6 people. So…that’s really 2 hands, and not 1…” he finally broke the moment with a little humor to lighten the mood.

She rolled her eyes. “I can just kick you off the list,” she teased. “You are the most recent addition.” But they both knew she wouldn’t, not unless he broke her trust. And that was something he was going to do everything in his power to keep from doing. Her trust was too valuable, too hard-earned; once it was gone, he wouldn't be getting it back.

“You know, now that I think about it, Ryan and Espo are kind of a package deal…they only count as one. So you’re right…one hand,” he chuckled.

She couldn’t help but laugh a little, shaking her head. “I’m going to make sure they know you said that.”

As they were walking back to the precinct after dinner so Beckett could get her car, they passed by a man with a table set up on the sidewalk selling long-stem roses as a last-minute offering for Valentine’s Day. Castle, of course, stopped to purchase some, for his mother and daughter she assumed. But then he offered her one of the single, long stems with a smile.

“I’m allowed to give my partner one rose for Valentine’s Day, right?” he asked her.

A shy smile spread across her lips, and she was careful not to prick her fingers on the thorns as she took the stem from him. “Thank you.” Her own boyfriend hadn’t even sent her flowers for the holiday, and here was Castle, giving her a single red rose. Not that she was the type to overly care about receiving roses…or flowers in general…on Valentine’s Day, but the gesture was nice. “Can I give you a ride home?” she offered as they got back to her car.

“You don’t have to. I’m like, 20 blocks in the opposite…” he started to decline.

“Castle, get in the car,” she interrupted him, rolling her eyes.

xxxxx

The ride to his loft was made in comfortable silence. “You want to come up? Alexis should still be out with Ashley, and I operate under a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy with Mother, but I’d be willing to bet she’s got plans of some kind. I can offer you wine…” he offered. Realizing how it may have sounded by offering her wine, he quickly added, “Or I can make you coffee.” He didn’t want her to think it was a romantic offer.

She thought about it for a moment before turning off her car. “I can come up for a bit,” she decided. It’s not like she was currently in a rush to get back to her apartment to spend the rest of Valentine’s Day alone.

“So, coffee? Or wine?” he asked once they were inside.

“Well, I’d prefer to be able to relax and not be so wired when I get home, so wine,” she answered with a small smile.

“Right,” he nodded. He placed the roses for his mother and daughter on the kitchen island and moved to get a bottle of red wine and a couple of glasses before gesturing to the couch to get comfortable.

She sat on one end of the couch, slipping her shoes off before curling up on it. “Thanks,” she smiled once more as she accepted the glass from him, taking a drink.

“You’re welcome,” he took a seat on the opposite end, making sure there was the entire middle couch cushion between them. He turned so that he could comfortably face her.

“So Alexis’s first Valentine’s Day with Ashley, hmm?” she asked him with a smile.

He gave a soft laugh. “Yeah. Should I be worried?” he asked her.

She shrugged with a smile. “Probably not. Alexis is the most responsible kid on the planet, so I’m sure you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“It’s not her I worry about. It’s the teenage boy with her.”

She laughed into her glass as she took another drink of her wine. “Says the man who still acts like a teenage boy sometimes.”

He nodded. “So you understand why I’m worried.”

“Castle, it’s Valentine’s Day, not prom. Relax,” she assured him. “All the adults have the hotel

rooms booked up for themselves tonight anyway, so teenagers aren’t going to be able to get one,” she teased.

He shot her a look, and she couldn’t help but laugh. He was too easy.

Their conversation continued easily as the bottle of wine slowly disappeared between the two of them. “So the event planner I hired to do the fundraiser we talked about last week is supposed to send me a few dates where we can meet with her to go over the details,” he told her as he finished his glass.

The fundraiser. Right. For the scholarship in her mother’s name. She still couldn’t believe he had come up with this way to honor her mother. Even a week later, it still made her heart do somersaults. “Sure, Castle…just let me know, and I’ll do my best to be there. But you have all the plans we came up with. You could plan it without me there.”

“And I will if you can’t get away, but it’s important to me to involve you.”

She smiled and shifted slightly so that she was close enough to touch his knee. “I appreciate that, I really do. And I want to plan this. Unfortunately, murders don’t always stick to a schedule,” she smiled. “I just want you to know that if something comes up on my side, I trust you to do this. I trust you won’t go over the top.”

He smiled, leaning forward to set his empty glass on the coffee table. He shifted a little closer, resting his hand over hers. “I promise, everything will be perfect. Nothing over the top,” he assured her.

She leaned forward to place her empty glass on the table as well. “I know I already said this, but thank you. I can’t even come up with words to tell you how much this means to me,” she told him honestly.

“Thank you for letting me do this for you,” he said softly, his eyes meeting hers and getting lost for a moment. He was grateful she’d accepted his offer; he knew how closely guarded she was about her mother. The Kate Beckett he’d met a couple of years ago would have probably shot him for even making the suggestion; then again, the Richard Castle from a couple of years ago probably would have planned the whole thing without consulting her or getting permission from her at all. They had both grown as people since then.

She let her eyes hold his, not realizing she’d shifted closer to him. Her eyes drifted from his eyes to his lips, and she knew what she wanted. It was a bad idea, but between the events of the day…the past few weeks, really…and the wine in her system, the feelings she had for him had fought their way to the surface and she couldn’t remember all the reasons why or even bring herself to care that it was a bad idea. For once, she stopped thinking and just acted,

closing the distance between them and pressing her lips against his.

The kiss was tender and slow, her fingertips gently caressing his cheek. She deepened the kiss after a few moments, melting into him. The tip of her tongue had just slipped past his lips and touched his when the sound of the door opening and Alexis’s voice telling Ashley goodnight hit her, causing her to break the kiss and pull back abruptly, as though she’d been burned. Shit… Realization sunk in and her eyes widened. “I…need to go…” she quickly distanced herself from him on the couch.

“Kate…” Castle started softly, but before he had a chance to say anything else, Alexis approached and hugged him from behind, seemingly unaware of what she had interrupted. “Hey, Pumpkin. Have a nice time?”

“I did,” she smiled. “Detective Beckett, I didn’t know you’d be here.” She wasn’t accusatory, simply surprised. She’d figured the Detective would have plans on Valentine’s Day.

Beckett was in the process of slipping her shoes back on and froze for a moment at the teenager’s words. “Oh, um…your dad and I were just…”

“That case I was looking into…my friend was arrested, and she was kind enough to try to cheer me up a little,” he broke in to offer an explanation.

Alexis frowned slightly. “I’m sorry your friend was guilty, Dad,” she told him sympathetically.

“Yeah, me too,” he nodded. “Hey, I got you something,” he said then, pushing himself up from the couch to give Kate a little time to try to recompose herself. He dragged his daughter to the kitchen and handed her the single red rose he’d picked up for her on the way home. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Alexis grinned and kissed her dad’s cheek. “Thanks, Dad. You know you’ll always be my favorite Valentine.”

Kate watched the scene in front of her; seeing Castle being such an amazing father had always been a soft spot for her where he was concerned. She realized if she didn’t get out of there now, she was going to end up doing something really stupid that could easily end with her in Castle’s bed. “Well, Alexis is here to cheer you up now, so I’m going home,” she said in a lighter tone than she felt as she approached the door.

“Thank you for keeping him company until I got home, Detective. And don’t worry, he’s in good hands. I’m going to break out the ice cream,” Alexis assured her with a smile. “I just hope he didn’t ruin your Valentine’s Day plans.”

“Uh no. Josh was stuck at the hospital, so it’s fine,” she answered quickly, avoiding Castle’s eyes as she brought up her boyfriend…her boyfriend…who was not the man she’d just kissed on the couch. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she told him. “Goodnight Alexis, I’m glad you had fun,” she added to the girl and then letting herself out of his loft before he could try to get her to stay. She was absolutely running.

xxxxx

I know this is a longer chapter, but I really didn’t want to split it up into two. I want to try to keep each chapter its own episode if I can. I’m still not sure I’m overly happy with how this ending turned out, but it felt organic to me…this last scene is one I’ve spent longer on than almost any other scene I’ve written, so I hope you guys are all okay with it.

I hope you enjoyed the additions I made to this episode, and as always, I look forward to your comments!

#castle #caskett #kate beckett #richard castle #castle fanfiction

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