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simendoan · 2 months ago
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When someone's damian itching to rat Jason out on Bruce.
Insp by you know what.
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frostbittenbucky · a month ago
Bruce is very proud when his kids finally beat him at sparring
Batman: [obviously limping around the watchtower]
Superman: [pulls him aside] “Batman, what happened?”
Batman: [trying not to sound excited] “Robin finally bested me during our sparring”
Superman: “oh th-“
Batman: “he cracked three of my ribs and dislocated my hip”
Superman: “b-“
Batman: “then he got me in a headlock and held me until I passed out”
Superman: “Bruce… What the fuck”
Bruce laying on the couch with a concussion
Clark: “is everything alright? You missed the meeting and didn’t answer any of our calls”
Bruce: “hm, sparring”
Clark: “with Dick?”
Bruce: [mumbling] “no… Ja… Jason. Used a uh, ah, um…”
Clark: “a? Weapon? A brick? There’s no way you lost to him, it took Dick years to finally win”
Bruce: “… I don’t remember… but it worked”
Alfred: “master Jason used a first copy of the Oxford dictionary. After the spar was supposedly over he used the ‘element off surprise’
Bruce: “dats ma boy”
Alfred: [shaking him] “stay awake”
Tim- 14
Bruce having lunch with Clark, sporting a black eye
Clark: “those sun glasses aren’t helping you”
Bruce: [sipping his wine] “didn’t think so”
Clark: “did you have a rough night?”
Bruce: “no, turns out Tim is a natural with the staff. We’ve been working at it for months, he’s very talented “
Clark: “what is wrong with you?”
Bruce: “if they can’t kick my ass then I’m not training them right, Clark”
Bruce: [is groaning and wincing when he moves]
Clark: [chilling at Bruce’s] “I didn’t know you could acknowledge pain”
Bruce: “she threw me like a rag doll, Clark”
Clark: “wait who?”
Bruce: “Cassandra. She wanted to spar, I never landed a hit on her. The fight was 6 maybe 7 seconds tops “
Clark: “she sounds dangerous”
Bruce: [is amazed]“I have so much to learn from her”
Damian- 11
Superman: [enters the bat cave] “Bruce?”
Bruce: [in the medbay giving himself stitches] “here”
Superman: “ouch, what happened to you?”
Bruce: “sparring with Damian”
Superman: “sparring?”
Bruce: [looks up, smiles] “he did this with his nails. But that’s just the surface”
Superman: [x-rays] “Is your leg broken?”
Bruce: “hm, probably. Certainly feels like it”
Superman: [slow blinks] “yea, it’s broken, B”
Duke- 17
Clark: [flying in] “I heard screaming, is everyone alright?”
Bruce: [crumpled on the ground] “fuck”
Duke: “oh my god, oh my god, I’m so sorry”
Clark: “did you use your powers on him?”
Duke: [panicing] “no! We were sparring and I got scared when I thought he was going to do that grabby twisty thing before he slams people?? and kicked him in the balls”
Clark: “uh”
Duke: [tries to help Bruce up]
Bruce: [swats him away, voice hoarse] “you win, you win. I tap out”
Clark: “I thought you wore cups?”
Bruce: “I am… Duke”
Duke: [biting his nails] “yea?”
Bruce: “hmm… good… good kick”
Bruce: [gets into position] “ready?”
Stephanie: [gets into position] “ready”
Bruce: [lunges]
Stephanie: [deploys taser]
Bruce: [somewhat goes down, but not fully because he’s Batman] “ow”
Stephanie: “you said ow! I win!”
Bruce: “that’s not a win”
Stephanie: “did you know I had a taser?”
Bruce: “no”
Stephanie: [jazz hands] “the element of surprise!”
Bruce: “no” [gets back into position]
Stephanie: “fine” [drops him]
Clark: [watching the whole time]“she definitely won”
Bruce: [gasps] “yep” [gives Stephanie a high-five from the ground]
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batkidsaremadkids · a year ago
Batkids filming and uploading videos of themselves asking Bruce any type of question and his answers (minus any and all Bat-refernces in the answers)
Sometimes before posting there's a poll whether Bruce's answer will be something
incredibly specific
only a billionaire could say
One lucky winner gets to pick the next question
Steph: Hey B, where do babys come from?
Bruce not looking up from his paper: The orphanage.
Damian: Father, can I go to the movies?
Bruce: I don't know, can you?
Dick: Who's your favourite kid?
Bruce: What day is it?
Dick: Tuesday?
Bruce: Then it's Jason.
Duke reading from a list he found on the internet: If you won the lottery, what's the first thing you would buy?
Bruce: ...
Duke: ...
Bruce: I'd hire a financial advisor.
Cass: B, why is the sky blue?
Bruce: *incredibly detailed scientific explanation*
Barbara: Bruce, do you like animals?
Bruce: Only on my plate.
Tim: Can I have some money to buy fruit?
Bruce: Sure, is 200 enough?
Tim *whispering*: I have no idea.
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incorrectbatfam · a year ago
Black Mask: I lured you all to my lair because I crave the deadliest game.
Jason, nodding: Knife Monopoly.
Black Mask: I was actually going to hunt you all for sport, but now I’m interested in whatever Knife Monopoly is.
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waynefamilyreactions · a year ago
Nobody: ...
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yeats-nana · 7 months ago
Alfred: Why are there small handprints on the wall!?
Bruce, whispering to Dick: Why are there small handprints on the wall?
9-years-old Dick, whispering back: Because my hands are small.
Bruce, smiling to Alfred: Because his hands are small.
[Later that day]
Alfred: *puts an empty frame around Dick's small and colorful handprints on the wall that says "small art" at the bottom of the frame* Now that's better.
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incorrectbatfam · a year ago
Bruce: Where the hell were you last night, Jason?!?
Jason: I was at a party smoking weed.
Tim, with a mouthful of chips: Don't lie, you were at the library you fuckin nerd.
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dickiesgrayson · a year ago
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“Boys, let’s just try not to expose our secret identities every other week. That’s all.” | a social media au
In which Bruce Wayne asks a question he never gets an answer to 
P.S. Being a furry is valid, and you shouldn’t be ashamed of it! I’m sorry if someone got offended by the joke, it was sincerely not my intention. 
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milk-r-yuu · a year ago
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[𝐴 𝑄𝑢𝑖𝑒𝑡 𝑀𝑜𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔]- The Batboys(+ sleep)
[My Instagram]: @kags_milkboi
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anothertimdrakestan · 12 months ago
Tim: day 89 of convincing Damian that Alfred is a robot: i've got Jay and Kon with me and we've told Damian that Alfred is programmed into the house
Jason: Alfred can you open the window in my bedroom?
Alfred, in the kitchen: Yes master Jason
Conner: *opens the window then hides*
Damian: :O
Tim: Alfred can you prepare some coffee for me?
Alfred: Of course Master Tim though i must remind you caffine is not the best for your mental state at 9pm - but i shall start it right away
Jason, hiding in the cabinet: *presses the coffee button*
Damian: *confused screeches*
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inkydandy · 8 months ago
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I am not dead! Just haven’t been using Tumblr to post work lately. Moving forward, I will probably just be putting full illustrations up on the blog which means updates will be pretty slow. In any case, I wanted to show this piece I did for @bat-famzine! I’m so so late revealing it here, but there ya go. The zine itself came out so beautifully, I’m honored I got to be a part of it :)
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