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yeats-nana8 months ago
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Alfred: Why are there small handprints on the wall!?
Bruce, whispering to Dick: Why are there small handprints on the wall?
9-years-old Dick, whispering back: Because my hands are small.
Bruce, smiling to Alfred: Because his hands are small.
[Later that day]
Alfred: *puts an empty frame around Dick's small and colorful handprints on the wall that says "small art" at the bottom of the frame* Now that's better.
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simendoan2 months ago
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When someone's damian itching to rat Jason out on Bruce.
Insp by you know what.
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inkydandy8 months ago
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I am not dead! Just haven鈥檛 been using Tumblr to post work lately. Moving forward, I will probably just be putting full illustrations up on the blog which means updates will be pretty slow. In any case, I wanted to show this piece I did for @bat-famzine! I鈥檓 so so late revealing it here, but there ya go. The zine itself came out so beautifully, I鈥檓 honored I got to be a part of it :)
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yeats-nana7 months ago
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I don't understand how people can say Duke is the sane one like excuse you he's the only Bat that's crazy enough to patrol during day.
Bats: Okay so we're the bats/emos we gotta patrol at night it's safer and it's easy to hide, sneak in and get criminals-
Duke: Dude fuck that sHIT. I'M GONNA ARREST BLACK MASK WHILE HE'S STILL EATING HIS EGGS. I'M GONNA FUCK HIM UP AT 6AM
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frostbittenbuckya month ago
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Bruce is very proud when his kids finally beat him at sparring
Dick-15
Batman: [obviously limping around the watchtower]
Superman: [pulls him aside] 鈥淏atman, what happened?鈥
Batman: [trying not to sound excited] 鈥淩obin finally bested me during our sparring鈥
Superman: 鈥渙h th-鈥
Batman: 鈥渉e cracked three of my ribs and dislocated my hip鈥
Superman: 鈥渂-鈥
Batman: 鈥渢hen he got me in a headlock and held me until I passed out鈥
Superman: 鈥淏ruce鈥 What the fuck鈥
Jason-14
Bruce laying on the couch with a concussion
Clark: 鈥渋s everything alright? You missed the meeting and didn鈥檛 answer any of our calls鈥
Bruce: 鈥渉m, sparring鈥
Clark: 鈥渨ith Dick?鈥
Bruce: [mumbling] 鈥渘o鈥 Ja鈥 Jason. Used a uh, ah, um鈥︹
Clark: 鈥渁? Weapon? A brick? There鈥檚 no way you lost to him, it took Dick years to finally win鈥
Bruce: 鈥溾 I don鈥檛 remember鈥 but it worked鈥
Alfred: 鈥渕aster Jason used a first copy of the Oxford dictionary. After the spar was supposedly over he used the 鈥榚lement off surprise鈥
Bruce: 鈥渄ats ma boy鈥
Alfred: [shaking him] 鈥渟tay awake鈥
Tim- 14
Bruce having lunch with Clark, sporting a black eye
Clark: 鈥渢hose sun glasses aren鈥檛 helping you鈥
Bruce: [sipping his wine] 鈥渄idn鈥檛 think so鈥
Clark: 鈥渄id you have a rough night?鈥
Bruce: 鈥渘o, turns out Tim is a natural with the staff. We鈥檝e been working at it for months, he鈥檚 very talented 鈥
Clark: 鈥渨hat is wrong with you?鈥
Bruce: 鈥渋f they can鈥檛 kick my ass then I鈥檓 not training them right, Clark鈥
Cassandra-20
Bruce: [is groaning and wincing when he moves]
Clark: [chilling at Bruce鈥檚] 鈥淚 didn鈥檛 know you could acknowledge pain鈥
Bruce: 鈥渟he threw me like a rag doll, Clark鈥
Clark: 鈥渨ait who?鈥
Bruce: 鈥淐assandra. She wanted to spar, I never landed a hit on her. The fight was 6 maybe 7 seconds tops 鈥
Clark: 鈥渟he sounds dangerous鈥
Bruce: [is amazed]鈥淚 have so much to learn from her鈥
Damian- 11
Superman: [enters the bat cave] 鈥淏ruce?鈥
Bruce: [in the medbay giving himself stitches] 鈥渉ere鈥
Superman: 鈥渙uch, what happened to you?鈥
Bruce: 鈥渟parring with Damian鈥
Superman: 鈥渟parring?鈥
Bruce: [looks up, smiles] 鈥渉e did this with his nails. But that鈥檚 just the surface鈥
Superman: [x-rays] 鈥淚s your leg broken?鈥
Bruce: 鈥渉m, probably. Certainly feels like it鈥
Superman: [slow blinks] 鈥測ea, it鈥檚 broken, B鈥
Duke- 17
Clark: [flying in] 鈥淚 heard screaming, is everyone alright?鈥
Bruce: [crumpled on the ground] 鈥渇uck鈥
Duke: 鈥渙h my god, oh my god, I鈥檓 so sorry鈥
Clark: 鈥渄id you use your powers on him?鈥
Duke: [panicing] 鈥渘o! We were sparring and I got scared when I thought he was going to do that grabby twisty thing before he slams people?? and kicked him in the balls鈥
Clark: 鈥渦h鈥
Duke: [tries to help Bruce up]
Bruce: [swats him away, voice hoarse] 鈥測ou win, you win. I tap out鈥
Clark: 鈥淚 thought you wore cups?鈥
Bruce: 鈥淚 am鈥 Duke鈥
Duke: [biting his nails] 鈥測ea?鈥
Bruce: 鈥渉mm鈥 good鈥 good kick鈥
Stephanie-22
Bruce: [gets into position] 鈥渞eady?鈥
Stephanie: [gets into position] 鈥渞eady鈥
Bruce: [lunges]
Stephanie: [deploys taser]
Bruce: [somewhat goes down, but not fully because he鈥檚 Batman] 鈥渙w鈥
Stephanie: 鈥測ou said ow! I win!鈥
Bruce: 鈥渢hat鈥檚 not a win鈥
Stephanie: 鈥渄id you know I had a taser?鈥
Bruce: 鈥渘o鈥
Stephanie: [jazz hands] 鈥渢he element of surprise!鈥
Bruce: 鈥渘o鈥 [gets back into position]
Stephanie: 鈥渇ine鈥 [drops him]
Clark: [watching the whole time]鈥渟he definitely won鈥
Bruce: [gasps] 鈥測ep鈥 [gives Stephanie a high-five from the ground]
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incorrectbatfam8 months ago
Conversation
Jason: Hope you get run over.
Tim: Hoping is all well and good, but ultimately, it gets you nowhere. Be the change you wish to see in the world. Get in your car and run me the fuck down instead of waiting for others to do your work for you, you coward. You lazy fool.
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incorrectbatfam9 months ago
Conversation
Damian: "Ladies and gentlemen" is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly I鈥檓 falling asleep already.
Damian: "Cowards", on the other hand, is inclusive to all genders, casual and fun, short and to the point, exciting, and dramatic.
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donnatr0y3 months ago
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Dick: I鈥檝e created a map of all the possible places where the league could have taken Damian
Jason: this is.. this a map of the world
Dick, crying: I have no idea where the fuck he is
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batkidsaremadkidsa year ago
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Batkids filming and uploading videos of themselves asking Bruce any type of question and his answers (minus any and all Bat-refernces in the answers)
Sometimes before posting there's a poll whether Bruce's answer will be something
normal
incredibly specific
only a billionaire could say
One lucky winner gets to pick the next question
Steph: Hey B, where do babys come from?
Bruce not looking up from his paper: The orphanage.
Damian: Father, can I go to the movies?
Bruce: I don't know, can you?
Dick: Who's your favourite kid?
Bruce: What day is it?
Dick: Tuesday?
Bruce: Then it's Jason.
Duke reading from a list he found on the internet: If you won the lottery, what's the first thing you would buy?
Bruce: ...
Duke: ...
Bruce: I'd hire a financial advisor.
Cass: B, why is the sky blue?
Bruce: *incredibly detailed scientific explanation*
Barbara: Bruce, do you like animals?
Bruce: Only on my plate.
Tim: Can I have some money to buy fruit?
Bruce: Sure, is 200 enough?
Tim *whispering*: I have no idea.
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