Bruce is very proud when his kids finally beat him at sparring
Batman: [obviously limping around the watchtower]
Superman: [pulls him aside] “Batman, what happened?”
Batman: [trying not to sound excited] “Robin finally bested me during our sparring”
Superman: “oh th-“
Batman: “he cracked three of my ribs and dislocated my hip”
Batman: “then he got me in a headlock and held me until I passed out”
Superman: “Bruce… What the fuck”
Bruce laying on the couch with a concussion
Clark: “is everything alright? You missed the meeting and didn’t answer any of our calls”
Bruce: “hm, sparring”
Clark: “with Dick?”
Bruce: [mumbling] “no… Ja… Jason. Used a uh, ah, um…”
Clark: “a? Weapon? A brick? There’s no way you lost to him, it took Dick years to finally win”
Bruce: “… I don’t remember… but it worked”
Alfred: “master Jason used a first copy of the Oxford dictionary. After the spar was supposedly over he used the ‘element off surprise’
Bruce: “dats ma boy”
Alfred: [shaking him] “stay awake”
Bruce having lunch with Clark, sporting a black eye
Clark: “those sun glasses aren’t helping you”
Bruce: [sipping his wine] “didn’t think so”
Clark: “did you have a rough night?”
Bruce: “no, turns out Tim is a natural with the staff. We’ve been working at it for months, he’s very talented “
Clark: “what is wrong with you?”
Bruce: “if they can’t kick my ass then I’m not training them right, Clark”
Bruce: [is groaning and wincing when he moves]
Clark: [chilling at Bruce’s] “I didn’t know you could acknowledge pain”
Bruce: “she threw me like a rag doll, Clark”
Clark: “wait who?”
Bruce: “Cassandra. She wanted to spar, I never landed a hit on her. The fight was 6 maybe 7 seconds tops “
Clark: “she sounds dangerous”
Bruce: [is amazed]“I have so much to learn from her”
Superman: [enters the bat cave] “Bruce?”
Bruce: [in the medbay giving himself stitches] “here”
Superman: “ouch, what happened to you?”
Bruce: “sparring with Damian”
Bruce: [looks up, smiles] “he did this with his nails. But that’s just the surface”
Superman: [x-rays] “Is your leg broken?”
Bruce: “hm, probably. Certainly feels like it”
Superman: [slow blinks] “yea, it’s broken, B”
Clark: [flying in] “I heard screaming, is everyone alright?”
Bruce: [crumpled on the ground] “fuck”
Duke: “oh my god, oh my god, I’m so sorry”
Clark: “did you use your powers on him?”
Duke: [panicing] “no! We were sparring and I got scared when I thought he was going to do that grabby twisty thing before he slams people?? and kicked him in the balls”
Duke: [tries to help Bruce up]
Bruce: [swats him away, voice hoarse] “you win, you win. I tap out”
Clark: “I thought you wore cups?”
Bruce: “I am… Duke”
Duke: [biting his nails] “yea?”
Bruce: “hmm… good… good kick”
Bruce: [gets into position] “ready?”
Stephanie: [gets into position] “ready”
Stephanie: [deploys taser]
Bruce: [somewhat goes down, but not fully because he’s Batman] “ow”
Stephanie: “you said ow! I win!”
Bruce: “that’s not a win”
Stephanie: “did you know I had a taser?”
Stephanie: [jazz hands] “the element of surprise!”
Bruce: “no” [gets back into position]
Stephanie: “fine” [drops him]
Clark: [watching the whole time]“she definitely won”
Bruce: [gasps] “yep” [gives Stephanie a high-five from the ground]
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Batkids filming and uploading videos of themselves asking Bruce any type of question and his answers (minus any and all Bat-refernces in the answers)
Sometimes before posting there's a poll whether Bruce's answer will be something
only a billionaire could say
One lucky winner gets to pick the next question
Steph: Hey B, where do babys come from?
Bruce not looking up from his paper: The orphanage.
Damian: Father, can I go to the movies?
Bruce: I don't know, can you?
Dick: Who's your favourite kid?
Bruce: What day is it?
Bruce: Then it's Jason.
Duke reading from a list he found on the internet: If you won the lottery, what's the first thing you would buy?
Bruce: I'd hire a financial advisor.
Cass: B, why is the sky blue?
Bruce: *incredibly detailed scientific explanation*
Barbara: Bruce, do you like animals?
Bruce: Only on my plate.
Tim: Can I have some money to buy fruit?
Bruce: Sure, is 200 enough?
Tim *whispering*: I have no idea.
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