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#batfam
ameba-from-space · a day ago
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I just found out that the Spanish batfam community calls damian "bolita de ódio" which translates to tiny ball of hatred and I think that's beautiful
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homosnapeiens · a day ago
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*batfam is on vacation in australia*
tim: -and once a year a bunch of spiders rain down from the sky! the sky bruce! they say it looks like snow!
bruce: *sighs* tim you have been freaking out since we got of the plane you need to calm down.
tim: it’s terrifying bruce! even the small and cute animals are vicious killers!
bruce: tim i’m sure you are overreacting-
*screaming is heard from behind them as magpies swarm jason and dick*
jason: *desperately shielding his face* I TOLD YOU NOT TO PISS OFF THE BIRDS DICK!
dick: I WAS TRYING TO CONNECT WITH THEM!! YOU KNOW BIRD TO BIRD?!?
jason: YOU ARENT ACTUALLY A BIRD DIPSHIT!
tim: see bruce even the birds are evil!
bruce: tim you are being- wait where’s damian?
damian: *walking over with a kangaroo on a leash* father this is bat kangaroo-
bruce: no more pets damian!
damian: but father you haven’t heard the best part.
*a joey pops out of bat kangaroos pouch*
damian: kangarobin.
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sapphicadhder · 22 hours ago
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Tell me I'm wrong, I dare you
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emma-d-klutz · 2 days ago
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Maybe it’s just my own headcanon, but I think I could make a real argument that Every Single Member of the Batfam believes they are the Only Sane Man, and Every Single One of them are Wrong.
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incorrectbatfam · 2 days ago
Kon: I like your new pants.
Tim: Thanks, they were fifty percent off.
Kon: I’d like them better if they were a hundred percent off.
Kon: *winks*
Tim: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.
Kon: That's not what I meant.
Tim: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Kon.
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arataka-reigen · 2 days ago
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Absolute madness. Insanity. Derangement. And Damian just sitting there.
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booknerdjason · 2 days ago
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look--i love jason discovering his love of reading thanks to alfred or bruce as much as the next soft bitch. but:
- public libraries are temperature regulated buildings, with free wifi, unlimited time allowed, good places to hide
like? are you kidding me? young jason would have absolutely found sanctuary in the nearest public library (which...was probably funded by the wayne foundation because what don't they fund) away from all the bad things happening in his house.
and young jason not having the best grasp on reading (...there's no way his parents care about school, like, c'mon) but he keeps picking up books because he likes the covers, so sits himself down and teaches himself--and sometimes there's this nice high school student that sits with him and helps with the bigger words, but that's neither here nor there.
jason todd bringing his love of books with him to wayne manor, stumbling into the library for the first time and feeling more at home then he has in the few weeks he's been there.
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sleepyssnail · 2 days ago
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Duke is so happy but Damian’s unimpressed raspberry is disgust is the highlight of the episode
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dc-incorrect-bats · 2 days ago
Selina: We both look really great tonight.
Bruce: You know, if you’d just said that I looked great, I would have said "So do you."
Selina: I couldn’t take that chance.
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vassquerade · 2 days ago
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I miss the boy and have caught up with Robin so :DD
Have a Damian Wayne doodle from a few days back!
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sunsetsintandem · 18 hours ago
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Dick, swinging from the chandelier: B!!!! Look at me!!!!
Bruce, following Dick in case he falls: I'm crying- I'm begging. Please, stop.
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incorrectbatfam · a day ago
Jason: I’ve only said "I love you" to three people: my mom, my dad, and my dying brother. And one of those I regret.
Roy: Which one?
Jason: My brother. He survived the bullet so now I look like an idiot.
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Have you met my family? (Jason Todd x reader Headcanons)
Requested by the most amazing honeypot I’ve ever seen @sirkekselord​:  Hey Honeybee, it's 3 am and I saw you opened your requests. So how about some headcanons where Jason's S/O meets his family for the first time but somehow she met all of them already while helping them some way out on the streets and she just didn't know it and it's kinda chaos.
A/N: honestly I loved this and I hope you don’t mind that I added the part about how she actually helped them. I had so much fun with this and I could’ve done more for other bat-siblings but for length-sake I decided to go with our main bat-boys and papa-broosh. Love you
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You had met Jason for the first time on your balcony
Well, he hadn’t actually been ‘Jason’ at the time, instead sporting his red hood persona
He had been too busy blickering with Bruce over Comms too notice that his Bat-claw was malfunctioning and instead of drawing him up on the roof of your builduing it just straight up slung him onto your balcony and made him crash right into your window 
Thank lord for deciding to invest in strengthened Gotham-glass because if not you’d have to clean up the mess
Alarmed by the ‘thud’ you grabbed your handy baseball-bat and went to check it out, finding the vigilante groaning and lying on the metal floor of your balcony
Of course you helped him up again and asked him if he was okay and from there on he just continued joking about in his usual manor
You had to admit that you found yourself thinking about the mysterious hero more often after that and you’d lie if you’d say that you didn’t hope he could crash into your window once again
It was also the thing that was on your mind when you went for your job interview at Wayne Ent. only to have the thought vanish when you found yourself being interviewed by the current CEO Lucius Fox himself
The thought only returned when you returned to Wayne Ent. as one of the new social media liasons, but it again dissapeared when you ran into someone who you immediatly recognize as Bruce Wayne himself
He looked somewhat distressed - even though he held his composure quite well - and even though he immediatly apologized (completely ignoring that you were the one who hadn’t payed attention), you noticed how he kept looking behind him and a certain chattering gave you a safe assumption of what he was ‘running’ away from
“Go, I’ll handle them,” you offered in spite of yourself and it was worth it when he thanked you and quickly jogged away, just in time for the hord of reporters to come up behind the corner looking for him
You put on the best customer service face that you had and started engaging with them to keep them busy long enough for your bosses boss to be able to flee
It was definitly worth it though because you ‘mysteriously’ got a raise on your second day in office
Once you got used to your new job, your little red hood crush returned but -yet again- it was quickly pushed away by a “different” man
of course at that point you didn’t know just how similar your two crushes were
Jason might have thought about you one or twice (or hundred times) too until it got to a point where he decided to try his luck even tho he knew that it was kinda stalker-y
So he went back to your builduing and like it was meant to be your were just leaving and straight up stumbled into his arms (that was becoming a habit of yours at that point) 
he started joking (and flirting) and not ten minutes later you had yourself a date
four dates later you had yourself a boyfriend
from then on your relationship went on steady and even though you kind of wished that Jason would be more open about his past and his family (which you knew nothing about at that point), you accepted that some wounds didn’t necessarily need to be reopened 
You also didn’t try to question his weird time schedueles too much because you trusted him to be faithful to you and you knew that once he trusted you too, he’d tell you what was behind it all
But because of that one friday evening he had to raincheck your planned cinema date so you decided you’d just take a stroll through the city when you came across a mugging in process 
For a second you were frozen in place but then the mugger came running towards you - or rather away from who you’d later learn to be a cop - and in a complete short-circuit reaction you kicked out your leg in front of him
He fell forward and not five seconds later he had cuffs on his wrists and the man who was arresting him introduced himself as Officer Grayson and thanked you 
The next instance happened when you went out with a friend of yours who was studying medicine and they needed to quickly stop by the library 
While your friend went to search a specific book you went looking around and found yourself in the computer section 
It was mostly unoccupied except for one girl tapping away at her screen and a man on the other end, near you, with his head lying on the keyboard and - even though you didn’t want to be noisy - you couldn’t help but notice the open word document full with random letters that you assumed his sleeping head had entered with the title reading ‘Hitory of Gotham and Wonder city’ and supported by this and the books lying beside the screen - all working with the same general topic - you felt save in your assumption that he was a student working on a paper for his class
You thought back to your own college-days and you knew that you hated it when you fell asleep shortly before you deadline and had to rush it out
So, taking a risk, you went to the coffee-machine, bought the biggest size coffee they had and went over to the young man
“Excuse me, I don’t mean to intrude, but I think you could need a little pick me up”
When the smell of coffee hit the brown-haireds nostrils his eyes widened in glee and he thanked yuo, giving you the title of ‘life-save’ before he got back to deleting the countless pages of random letters in his document while you went to find your friend
After that you found out who Jason really was and - while you were quite shocked and not very sure about what to think about it - you learned to cope ith it
Now of course you asked one or two questions about Batman and the rest of his ‘Team’ (even though he refused to call it that), but since you didn’t actually know about who his family was and he kept his answeres short, you didn’t really make the connection yet
It was another month or so before Jason finally decided that it was time for the big step and he told his family about you - or rather about him having a serious significant other who he planned a future with and who knew his secret
of course Bruce - as his father and as someone who was worried about the families secret - insisted on Jason bringing you over, but he adamantly refused, instead suggesting that they’d meet on neutral ground 
So Bruce reserved a table for seven (since Jason insisted on Alfred being there to even out Damian having to be there [much to both Jason’s and Damian’s dismay]) 
You were incredibly nervous and excited so of course you insisted that Jason and you arrived twenty minutes earlier just to get used to your surroundings but ten minutes later you found yourself almost shaking with nervousness and excused yourself to go out and catch a breath
You decided to walk around a bit until you caught sight of a kitten rushing into an alleyway and having a soft heart for all animals, you went after it 
But you weren’t the only one who had saw it because as you were knealing in front of the little kitten, reaching out your hand to let it smell you, another figure - a smaller one - appeared
He was wearing a dress shirt and black-suit-pant so you guessed he too had more important places to be in, but since you yourself were currently not really on track with what you actually came for 
“It doesn’t have a collar and it looks malnurished, I think it’s a stray,” you broke the silence, turning to the boy who looked at you with suspicion in his eyes and you guessed that he wasn’t the biggest sunshine to be around
“I agree,” he answered shortly and you decided that it would help no one to just let the silence flow back in
“There’s a good vet around here that should still be open, I’ll take her there so they can check her up,” you decided out loud and found yourself very happy when the kitten allowed you to pick it up without any panic
“Tt, so that they can sent her to a shelter where she’ll be put down?” the boy said with clear judgement in his voice, but you decided to be above it, because you understood his worry somewhere
“Of course not, I’ll leave them my number so they can call me once she’s been all checked up and I can make the adoption official.”
Now he seemed somewhat satisfied with your decision and gave you a nod before turning around and rushing away while you did the same, just in the opposite direction
You were halfway by the vet when your phone rang
“Where are you babe? I thought you just wanted to catch a breath. Are you getting cold feet?” Jason’s worried voice came from your speaker
“No! Of course not! I’ll be there in five to ten minutes I promise, please tell your family how incredibly sorry I am.”
Jason sighed - but in this loving way and not at all dissapointed and told you to take your time since he’d hold his family off and you fell in love even more
Ten minutes later you came rushing into the restaurant again and as soon as you arrived at the table you started to ramble: “I’m really sorry, I promise I’m not usually so late, I just-”
You stopped in your tracks when your eyes landed on the man sitting opposite Jason
It was Bruce Wayne - how did you not know that your boyfriends father was Bruce fucking Wayne?!?
Before you could react, your eyes wandered to your Boss’s right and in that order you found yourself faced with the boy from the alley, the student from the library and the cop you had helped arrest that one mugger
But most surprisingly was the man sitting between the cop and your boyfriend was Alfred, the man you met almost once a week on the farmers market that you had helped out at as a teen and kept visiting 
You stared at the people in shock and they stared back at you with Jason staring between the six of you in confusion
“Hello? Are you all okay?”
“Jason, your dad-” “Is Bruce Wayne, I know, he adopted me, I know I should’ve told you sooner, but-” “Your dad is my boss,” you interrupted him
A second of silence, then two, then three, before Jason turned to the brothers: “And what’s the big idea with you three? Have you never seen a girl before?”
“Well, uhm, Jason, I know all of them,” you answered for them. “What? How? When?” “She helped arrest someone.” “She bought me coffee.” “You now have a cat.”
“She did what?” Jason seemed to have whiplash as he looked between his older and first younger brother before he stopped and turned to the youngest, “And what do you mean with I have a cat now?”
“I believe while all of this is very interesting, We’re all here to get to know Miss Y/N better, arent’ we? So how about we all take a seat and get on with the dinner,” Alfred got order back into the round and it was only an hour later that Jason started to wonder about how he had known your name  and realized that your lifes were intertwined far more than he had believed
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