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#batfam
boundbyreading · 3 days
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Batboys by Nikola Cizmesija
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theotherpacman · 2 days
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tim: dad... I have a boyfriend
bruce: what? but you're supposed to get back together with stephanie
tim: what?
dick: whoa whoa whoa, I thought you were an ally
bruce: I'm not being homophobic I just need steph to marry into the family
cass: I have something to share
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Kon: Tim is my friend, and if I love him, it’s the way I would love a brother. Jason: Tim is my brother and if he looked at me the way you look at him, I would call the police
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incorrectbatfam · 2 days
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Steph would not only be on foodtok but she would DOMINATE
"Making the viral Harley Quinn cupcake bombs"
"Trying every item on the Batburger secret menu"
"Everything I ate at the Wayne Gala"
"Testing Spoiler's waffle hack"
"Letting my brother decide what I eat for a day"
But also she'd have a second equally popular account doing the EXACT same thing as Spoiler
"What I eat in a week as a vigilante"
"Packing Orphan's patrol snacks"
"Rating restaurants that are secretly crime fronts"
"The waffle hack that took down Cluemaster"
"Breaking into Lex Luthor's office and vibe checking his mini fridge"
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martiniluvr · 3 days
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Jason would be the type to fuck you then take your hand in his and put it on ur stomach and be like “feel me all up in your guts”
anon I almost let out a blood-curdling scream and fell to my knees. you are so correct. where is your pulitzer.
18+ minors dni
warnings: size kink if you squint?
★・・・★・・・★・・・★
jason todd loves the way he fills you to the brim when he fucks you. you handle it like a champ, despite the size discrepancy between you—thank you, lazarus pit—and he wants you to know it tonight. you deserve it. he takes one of your hands and presses it flat against the soft flesh of your lower abdomen, keeping his grip over your fingers.
“feel that, ma,” he groans through gritted teeth, his thrusts relentless from his perch above you. you gasp as you feel your belly bulging against your palm, the pressure on your abdomen engulfing you in a new wave of pleasure and dragging a broken moan out of you. “feel how deep you’re takin’ me. fuck, you’re made for this, aren’t you, baby? doin’ it so good for me.”
you whine as he hammers into you, the sensation of his cock brushing your cervix almost overwhelming. jason can’t help the pride that blooms in his chest at the way your back arches off the bed as you struggle to take him, the added weight on your belly increasing your sensitivity tenfold. he glances down, and a fond smile settles on his lips at the sight of your dripping pussy dragging him back into you despite the tight fit. determined to the end, he thinks. that’s my girl.
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randoparody · 1 day
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skirter01 · 2 days
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DP X DC
At a Wayne Enterprises Networking Gala:
Bruce: So about that new employee, there’s been a lot of talk…you mentioned he’d be in attendance this evening?
Lucius: ah, Mr Fenton I presume? Yes, he’s fantastic really.
Bruce: So I’ve heard. Where’s the man hiding? I haven’t managed to bump into him yet.
Lucius: Mr Fenton has been squandered away to the children’s table I believe.
Bruce: the children’s table…?
Lucius: *points* there, the tallest one.
Bruce trained his gaze in the direction Lucius pointed, to come face to face with the peculiar sight of a wiry, 20-something year old, back haired, blue eyed man consumed in a heated argument with a chubby 6 year old girl in piggy tails.
Bruce: that’s-
Lucius: Yep, you’re gonna hate him. Best go introduce yourself!
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panakina · 2 days
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Wondering who Jason Todd could have become if Batman didn't find him. He's still the extremely cunning and fearless guy who in another life conquered Gotham's underworld in a long weekend, just with no guide rails.
My current favourite option is Gotham's go-to guy for replacing your skylights after a vigilante has dramatically smashed their way into your warehouse.
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sreppub · 7 hours
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🫰🫶
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begaycommittreason · 2 days
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out of context things heard in wayne manor:
bruce: i understand, but pretending you cooked jerry the turkey is not a proportionate response to damian calling you a peasant again
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jason: look there’s a right way and a wrong way to make food. there’s also the bruce way, which is the wrong way except faster and worse
duke: *frantically scribbling notes*
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tim: do you think our relationship was kinda like incest now?
steph, horrified: never open your mouth in my presence again timothy
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dick: so then he’s like—guys. guys are you seriously signing about me in front of my face. i learned it too—hey i do NOT have a butt chin take that back—
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damian: i don’t understand, why does he wear such a ridiculous hat? is it like that margaret poppins woman grayson showed me?
tim, who watched the live action cat in the hat too much as a kid and is about to violently infodump: well you see-
dick: oh god it’s too late
jason: yeah the brats on his own for this one i’m not fucking dealing with that again
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bruce: are you lying?
tim: always. anyway, like i was saying—
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steph: hey what’s up with you and all the redheads
dick: …i’m not discussing this with you
steph, starting to chase him: gingervitus is a serious affliction! you cant run from this
dick, sprinting away: yes the fuck i can
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duke: so is anyone gonna talk about the elephant in the room…
dick:
dick: look i was feeling sentimental and zitka jr. really isn’t any trouble
damian: she is magnificent
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tim: so i dropped out and
duke: wait we can drop out of high school??!!?
bruce: NO.
duke: please bruce ap biology is beating my ass right now
jason: nah tim just got to drop cause bruce was dead and he’s a loser. the real problem is what you’re reading in ap lit right now, because i have thoughts on that curriculum—
duke: i’m not even gonna use half that material in the real world
tim: actually most of our villains have PhDs so their plans are based on pretty real science
duke: not helping timothy
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cass, signing: why are brothers on the ceiling?
jason: tims in timeout from working on his caseload
cass, still confused: yes but why taped to the ceiling
duke: listen if you know a better way of restraining his psycho ass then i’m all ears
cass: and damian?
jason: oh he saw this as free range target practice so he had to go up there too
cass: they are plotting revenge up there
duke: think of it as brotherly bonding
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damian: it’s not my fault he got in the way
bruce: you threw an eclair at lex luthor
damian: i was aiming for drake
tim: bruce we can’t take him anywhere
dick, holding back laughter: timmy you also paid four separate people to come to the gala solely to ask him if they could use his head to see if they had something in their teeth
tim: you have no proof that was me
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duke: look steph, it’s not that we don’t want to help with this
jason: i don’t want to help
duke: it’s more that i don’t think we can physically fit that many people in a shopping cart, and your whole plan kind of hinges on that
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alfred: i’m not mad, just disappointed in you.
every batkid, near tears: sorry alfred
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jason: HE HAD DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY AS THE FUCKING WHAT—
bruce: listen—
tim, mouth full and brain empty: the ambassador to iran. crazy right?
dick: tim please
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bruciemilf · 2 days
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Okay but Duke can canonically see ghosts—or at least them to a certain extent. So imagine that as he ages so does his powers, and that includes this ability.
Duke, walking into the kitchen early in the morning one day:
Thomas and Martha Wayne, who both look very real and very see through, having a heated debate about family recipes:
Duke, immediately turning around to go back to bed:
I actually adore the theory of murdered ghosts having to roam around their resting ground until their killer is brought to justice, so, Thomas and Martha being one with Wayne manor? With Gotham in general?
Uhh, YES PLEASE.
Patron saints of protection and guidance for the Waynes. Even if they could cross, they wouldn’t do it.
Have you seen this little family their son built? They need all the help they can get.
Duke genuinely thought they were 2 am hallucinations. When Thomas gives him pointers with Anna during lunch, he’s no longer certain it’s the case.
“C’mon, you’re my nephew! You gotta have more game than THAT. Buy her somethin’ nice. Dinner, jewelry, Russian battle axe. Y’know, lady things.”
“Uhh. I don’t think that’d work, Gramps.”
“What kinda woman doesn’t want an axe? Fine, get her a museum then. I know where Bruce keeps his credit cards, c’mon.” Yeah, everyone knows where. Bruce basically hands them out like coffee.
Martha heavily disproves of Bruce’s and Tim’s sleeping patterns and ‘encourages’ (strongarms) Duke into telling them to sleep.
Have you tried sending Batman, the Dark Knight, Vengeance himself, to nap before? It’s terrifying. Somehow? Tim is a bit scarier.
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boombaux · 2 days
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spicy-apple-pie · 3 days
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HE DID IT!!! HE SAID THE THING!!!
Prev / Index
Commission Info / Kofi
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stormyskyzzz · 2 days
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just a little guy and his army of pets.
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incorrectbatfam · 3 days
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Dick: What’d you make for Selina?
Bruce, staring at the food he burned: Regret.
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yaderyngoch · 3 days
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Normally I have a strong preference for Good Dad Bruce(tm) but I do think it's kinda a vibe for Bruce to just have So Many Kids and So Many Things to pay attention to and do all the time that Tim kinda just slips through the cracks sometimes. And Tim grew up so severely neglected that he doesn't notice. When you grow up starving, scraps seem like a feast. So as far as Tim's concerned, Bruce pays attention to him Ever, remembers his birthday, and treats him like something more than an inconvenient trophy, so as far as Tim's concerned Bruce is the best Dad ever. Tim doesn't notice he's being neglected, but Jason does. Jason doesn't have the rose coloured glasses anymore, so he picks up on those things real quick and he's pissed about it, especially after finding out how Tim grew up and how Tim's parents treated him.
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