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#batfam imagine
emma-d-klutz · 11 months ago
We keep finding alternate universes with way darker and murder-happier Bruce Waynes. Over and over again - every time! For probabilities sake, they gotta start finding some universes where he’s the most lighthearted and optimistic hero. The next Metal Batman type thing should be an Earth where Batman is the plucky comic relief one of The Justice League. That world’s running joke about his sidekicks is that Batman is so childish he only gets along with kids. Bruce Wayne should unironically state that he doesn’t trust adults. He giggles over Roadrunner cartoons. He is STILL the smartest one, I want to stress this part. A different member entirely is the dark, mysterious one, and I won’t make a hard stance on which, because the possibilities are too fun to decide before going through all of them carefully. The Batfam leave that universe after each getting a too-long, too-tight goodbye hug from that Bruce Wayne who also hugs his canon counterpart and tells him to please be nicer to his family because family is precious and rare and he of all people should know that better than anyone, and they all go home like, “The fuck was that. That was the worst one. The fuck was that.”
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incorrectbatfcm · 16 days ago
Dick: It only takes three generations for you to be basically forgotten.
Wally: Tell that to my great great uncle who is the reason that it’s illegal to drive a tractor while drunk in the state of Kansas.
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mybloodyvalentyne · a month ago
the batboys as “you in her dms” tweets
I don’t know what compelled me to do this but I could not be stopped.
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(sorry but i know this mf be playing minecraft…)
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Cass: (talking about steph obvs)
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and lastly……this applies to literally all of them:
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rick-rayson · 7 months ago
Damian to Jason: I hate you!
Dick: wow! What's going on?!
Damian: He. Lit. My. Cape. On. Fire.
Jason: Twas an accident.
Damian: You will not win me over with your use of 'twas'
Jason: Twasn't trying to.
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alycosworld · 3 months ago
Harmless Trouble
Damian Wayne X Reader
A/N: woo this took a while to write. I love Damian so much he's amazing <3
also, I included Cass, Steph, Jason and Duke because even though they're not in the dcamu or young justice tv show (well, they are but we haven't seen much of them as people yet) and I haven't read many of the comics (basically none), I included them because I know what their stories are and I know their personalities. I originally thought about leaving them out but it felt wrong and very dry since they bring a lot of personality.
btw this has not been edited or checked yet, sorry for mistakes. I promise I'll get round to it.
thanks for reading and enjoy the story!
"Damian?" You asked, looking at your boyfriend whose head laid in the crook of your neck.
"Yes, Beloved?" He asked, pulling his eyes off the movie on the TV in front of you and lifting his head to turn his attention to you.
"Am I ever gonna get to meet your family?" You asked quietly, the noise from the movie drowning out as you looked into each other's eyes.
"What?" Damian breathed out. Although you had been together for almost a year, Damian had no intention of introducing you to his family any time soon.
"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be pushy, it's just...well, it'd be nice to meet the other people in your life. If you don't want me to, it's okay." You smiled at him and Damian sighed before beginning his explanation.
"Initially, I didn't want you to meet my family because they are rather...strange." Damian started.
"I was afraid that they'd scare you off, so I put it aside. Of course, I knew it would have to happen someday, but I forgot about it. I wanted you to myself for a little bit longer." Damian said, and you chuckled at his confession.
"Even if your family hates me, I'm not gonna leave you." You grinned.
"They won't hate you, Beloved. I don't think anyone could." Damian smirked.
"Yeah right." You rolled your eyes.
"As of right now, my family doesn't know you exist. Maybe I could introduce you slowly." Damian said.
"What is that supposed to mean?" You grinned.
"You'll see."
"Oh hey, Demon's back. Where've you been?" Jason asked as Damian entered the living room after returning from your place. Jason and Steph sat around the coffee table while Tim and Duke packed up some Uno cards, deeming the game too dangerous to play in their household.
"Out." Damian said simply. Usually, when his family asked where he had gone after visiting you, he would tell a convincing lie. A vague answer like this, however, might give them a hint about his lover.
"Out doing what?" Tim asked.
"None of your concern, Drake." He said, slumping on the couch and petting Titus with his right hand.
Cass entered the room and as she sat down, noticed the rings on Damian's right hand. Three silver rings with simple but pretty designs on them. Two were stacked on his middle finger while the third sat on his ring finger. Cass stared at them, only stopping when Damian spoke.
"Something wrong?" Damian asked, looking at Cass.
"You wear rings?" She asked, making the other three in the room direct their attention to the jewellery Damian was wearing.
"Wow, I didn't even notice. And they're nice too, I didn't think you had taste." Steph said.
"I didn't think you owned any jewellery." Jason shrugged.
"I've had them for a while. They were a gift." Damian said. You had given him the rings a long time ago, actually. A few months into your relationship, Damian's birthday came up. You saw them and thought they would look nice on him, so that's what you got him (amongst other things). The blush on his face when you flat out told him that you thought they'd look very pretty on him was prominent and adorable, you have never let it go.
Normally, he'd take the rings off and hide them in a drawer or coat pocket when he was with his family, but when he was with you or alone, he wouldn't care who was looking.
"A gift from who?" Duke asked.
"Again, none of your concern." Damian said.
"What are we talking about?" Dick asked as he and Barbara entered the room.
"Damian's hiding something." Steph said.
"What, did he kill someone?" Barbara asked casually.
"No, I didn't. I simply got home and they started pestering me with questions." Damian glared at Jason, Tim, Steph and Cass.
"Got home from where?" Dick asked.
"That's what we wanna know!" Jason said. Damian groaned and started walking towards the stairs, Titus trailing behind him.
"Hey, where're you going?" Dick asked.
"To my room. Will you all stop asking questions?" Damian folded his arms.
"We would if you gave us an answer!" Tim said.
"You know you can tell us anything, right?" Dick asked, looking at him with sincerity in his eyes.
"Right." Damian just nodded and deadpanned at Dick, raising his eyebrows as if to say "whatever" and then disappearing up the stairs.
Damian kept dropping subtle hints that something was up (well, really he just stopped being so careful about hiding your relationship). The Batfamily was frazzled. First, it was just the people who were there in the living room, but that soon extended to Bruce and even Alfred, partially.
"What is he up t--?" Tim stopped himself when he heard Damian's voice. Everyone except him were gathered in the living room, presenting their theories and evidence on Damian's big mystery while Alfred made cookies and pitched in occasionally.
"What else did you find?" Damian asked, holding his phone in front of him and talking to someone the others currently couldn't see on FaceTime.
"Oh god, this one is bad! People think you're Batman!" The unknown person laughed on the other end of the phone - that unknown person being you.
"Well that's a ridiculous notion." Damian said, trying to hide the smile on his face which didn't go unnoticed by everyone intensely examining him as he walked straight past them, towards the kitchen, and grabbed a cookie, nodding at Alfred in silent gratitude. Damian paid them no mind, focusing on you.
"Right? You're way too tiny to be Batman." You chuckled, making Damian frown and glare at you through the phone.
"That's-- you're being intentionally unpleasant, aren't you." Damian narrowed his eyes at you.
"Joking about your height is just too fun, Dames, I'm sorry." You giggled. Everyone perked up at that - who on this earth is allowed to call Damian Wayne "Dames"?
"That's a lie. You're not sorry." Damian said, beginning to smile a little at your laughter.
"You've grown three inches in four years!" You laughed.
"Four inches, actually." Damian grumbled.
"Oh, my apologies, Damian. Forgive me for my grave error." You said dramatically.
"Wait, you have a cookie? Can I have some?" You asked.
"Of course, I'll just pass it through the screen or zeta-tube it to your home." Damian said sarcastically.
"Asshole." You grumbled.
"What was that?" Damian asked, in a slightly teasing tone. Everyone just stared at Damian in surprise, except for Alfred, who seemed to know something no one else did.
"You heard me, Wayne." You grinned, continuing the conversation as Damian walked back upstairs without giving his family so much asa glance.
"Wh-what was that?" Tim asked.
"Damian has...friends?" Duke wondered aloud.
"One friend. Singular. Don't give him too much credit." Jason said.
"Okay, has anyone ever seen that person before?" Dick asked, and everyone shook their heads. Dick ran a hand through his hair and sighed.
"Why would he hide his friend from us?" Dick asked.
"Because we would tease him and pester his friend." Barbara said.
"Well, yeah but that's just normal stuff - everyone does that. Besides, if it's just his friend we wouldn't be too annoying about it." Tim said.
"Maybe they're more than a friend?" Bruce offered, and there was a short silence before everyone burst into laughter.
"Are you serious, Bruce? This is Damian we're talking about." Jason laughed.
"Yeah. You're his father, don't you know that Damian has no interest in romance, like, at all?" Steph giggled.
"He's eighteen, I'm sure he's at least thought about it." Bruce said.
"He has. He doesn't like it." Cass said.
"Yeah, he thinks it's a waste of time. It's Damian - he likes fighting, animals and insulting other people." Barbara said.
"Mostly Drake." Damian added, entering the room without his phone this time.
"Are you planning a mission? What are you all discussing here?" Damian asked, when in reality, he had heard the whole thing. Yes, he may have thought romance was pointless in the past, but it became very difficult to ignore his uncontrollable feelings for you and he decided to give it a shot.
"Nothing, we just..." Barbara started, unsure of how to phrase what she wanted to say.
"We just wanna know what all that was about. Who was that?" Duke asked.
"Who?" Damian asked, playing dumb.
"Oh, come on, you know! The person you were just on the phone with." Dick sighed.
"(Y/N)?" Damian asked nonchalantly.
"You're on a first-name basis with them?" Duke mumbled.
"Damian, who are they?" Tim asked.
"It's not important." Damian said.
"Doesn't matter, we wanna know!" Jason said.
"Yeah, you were so...nice to them. It was unsettling. Are they your friend?" Steph asked.
Damian stayed quiet for a moment. Should he just tell them? He didn't know. Give it more time, maybe? But you've been together for so long, maybe it'll be fine if he just tells them.
"We're dating." He mumbled, but it was so quiet and rushed that the words were incomprehensible.
"Sorry, what?" Tim asked.
"I'm tired. I'm going to bed." Damian said, walking away quickly so they wouldn't see the red that began to tint his cheeks.
"Wait, Damian--!" He had already ran up the stairs and they heard his door close, meaning that they had done something wrong.
Damian flopped onto his bed and Titus curled up next to him, resting his head on his stomach in an act of comfort. Damian stroked his fur a couple of times, calming down a bit and then pulling out his phone to call you. You picked up almost instantly, smiling before seeing Damian's face. Although he rarely smiled, you could tell how he was feeling through the tiniest chmages in his usually stoic expression. His face was red and his eyebrows were slightly furrowed, making your eyes fill with concern.
"Dames? You okay?" You asked.
"I tried telling my family about you." He said, not bothering with any sort of preface.
"What happened?" You asked.
"It came out...quieter than I anticipated. And they didn't hear me. I didn't want to repeat it." Damian said.
"Hey, it's fine. It's overwhelming, I get it. I mean we've been together for a while. I was stressed telling my closest friends that I even had a boyfriend, and we were like three months in. It's okay." You smiled, and Damian ran a hand through his hair, nodding slightly.
"They kept asking so many questions after they saw me calling you." Damian said.
"Yeah, people do that. But they're not trying to be mean, you know? They're just curious. And maybe concerned, they're looking out for you." You said.
"Look, just forget about telling them for now, okay? It'll come naturally, there's no point forcing it." You reassured him.
"Okay." He replied, exhaling slowly.
"Okay, well, I should probably let you go to bed--"
"I'm not tired, stay for a little longer?" He pleaded, before realising what he had said and turning bright red.
"I-I mean, if you're tired--"
"I'm not tired either. Besides, I like talking to you." You smiled, before gladly taking all the stress and worry off of your lover's mind.
Damian sighed, standing off to a side of the large hall in a black three-piece suit with a freshly groomed Titus beside him. His father's galas were boring to him, and the only reason he showed up was to keep up appearances. The whole Wayne family had to be there, or the press would make some big scandal out of it.
But things were slightly different that night. As Damian scanned the room, he noticed that his siblings, father and friends were all together instead of in various areas of the hall, mingling with guests. Curious as to what they were all talking about, he approached them quietly. Before he could make his presence known, however, he recognised the back of someone and his eyebrows automatically furrowed as his hand went to tap their waist.
"Bel-- (Y/N)?" He asked, catching everyone's attention. He noticed how everyone was grinning or smirking at him, which unsettled him slightly.
"Damian!" You smiled, immediately wrapping your arms around him, prompting Dick, Barbara and Duke to chuckle quietly while Jason's eyes widened, Cass smiled even wider and Tim and Steph laughed loudly at the surprised and dumbfounded look in his face.
"What are you doing here?" Damian asked, not so subtly ogling you, which made Bruce grin along with his kids and their friends.
"Well, you were stressed out about telling your family about us, so...I told them for you. Is that okay?" You asked, looking at the floor in case you had made a mistake.
"Yes, that's-- I mean...of course, it's okay, I just-- what?" Damian stuttered out, before glaring at his amused family.
"You were worried about it. So I handled it. And now everything's fine." You smiled, ruffling his previously perfectly combed hair. He frowned slightly as he gently pulled your hand away from his hair and allowed it to drop, but he didn't let go of it. Instead, he stepped slightly closer to you and discreetly hid your intertwined fingers behind you both.
"How did you get here?" Damian asked, hoping his family doesn't notice the uncharacteristic affection he was displaying (but they did).
"You left your invitation to this event at my place. I was gonna return it, but then I thought that you wouldn't need it since the guy at the gate would recognise you, so I used it to get in and surprise you. Surprise." You smiled sheepishly, making Damian pinch the bridge of his nose with his free hand and sigh, but not without everyone noticing the small smile on his face at your antics.
"And what would you have done if I hadn't been let in?" Damian asked.
"Me? Nothing. You, on the other hand, would grab katana out of thin air and fight your way in, willingly ditch, or pull a Draco Malfoy and get you father to handle it, since he organised the event." You said. Damian, forgetting he was surrounded by people, chuckled with a genuine smile on his face, surprising his family even further.
"Y'know, I actually didn't believe you at first when you said you were dating Demon Spawn, but I do now." Jason folded his arms with a grin.
"Todd." Damian growled, smile immediately dropping.
"Oookay, it was nice meeting you all but I am going to pull Damian away before things get violent. Come on, Dames." You grinned, dragging your boyfriend to the opposite side of the room. He continued to glare at his family, who were clearly teasing him even from a distance.
"Damian?" You asked, drawing his attention away from them and to you.
"Beloved?" He replied.
"Don't get worked up over they're jokes, they're just having fun. I mean, it's the first time I'm at one of these galas with you, don't you wanna have some fun? Maybe a little bit of harmless trouble?" You grinned. Damian smiled slightly before disconnecting your hands and placing one of his on your waist while the other cupped your cheek. Surprised that he was willing to kiss you in public, your eyes widened. You were gonna be front page news if he actually did this. Screw telling his family, the whole world would know!
"Damian..." You said, tone becoming a little nervous but also excited as he leaned closer.
"Trust me." He mumbled, before pressing his lips to yours gently. He didn't do too much - you were in public, after all - but it was enough to make people start gasping and cameras start flashing.
When you pulled away, people were stealing not so discreet glances at the two of you, giving you small smiles and giggling at yours and Damian's flushed faces. You heard an older woman mumble the words "young love", almost in admiration of your relationship. The few paparazzi in the gala were rushing to the scene, but Damian just whisked you away to a private balcony that they couldn't follow you too.
"What was that?" You asked, smiling and chuckling breathily at your quick escape.
"Harmless trouble, right?"
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cipheress-to-k-pop · 7 months ago
Bruce Wayne when his Future child comes to the Present
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Dick Grayson Ver. | Jason Todd Ver. | Tim Drake Ver. | Damian Wayne Ver.
Conner Kent Ver. |  Wally West Ver.
A/N: This is the longest one yet. God it’s so damn long. I techincally am still not taking requests but @honey-im-emotional​ put the idea in my head and I couldn’t stop thinking about it until I wrote it. Also the ending is unrealistic and but like this whole thing is unrealistic so.
We all know very well that Bruce is BatDad™️
Has been since he was 28 and adopted a certain Flying Grayson
So, it shouldn’t have been such a surprise that another kid would find his or her way into the Wayne family
Let me set the scene for you
Bruce and the others were at the Manor
Dick and Jason were visiting and Alfred insisted that they stay the night
It was nearly sunrise and everyone was fast asleep
Little sleeping beauties
Bruce was asleep in his giant rich man bed
Underneath thick rich man covers
In silk rich man pyjamas
He hears another breath in the room vaguely before he feels tiny palms on him
And his eyes immediately snap open
Batman instincts, you know
I don’t doubt that he would’ve immediately gotten into an attacking position
Full defence tactics on
And what he sees freaks him out a little
A moving lump underneath his covers
At first, he thinks it’s Ace or any of the other animals but it’s too small to be Titus and too big to be Alfred
The cat not the person
A part of him is like immobilize the lump before you check it out
But he remembered the tiny palms and then thinks against it
He peels back the covers to see a tiny human
A little boy with black hair
And big beautiful blue eyes
Staring up at him in wonder
As soon as he noticed that Bruce was looking at him, he started giggling
And now he’s thinking that Dick, Jason, Tim or Damian or even Alfred has accidently regressed their age
Why does everyone look so damn similar?
Come to think of it, it could be Cass too
“Hi daddy!”
The kid was still smiling widely at him, in the childlike manner that all of his kids have
Bruce isn’t that surprised
Let’s be honest, this isn’t the weirdest thing that happened to him
He goes around town as a giant bat each night, fighting crime
Dick likes to swing on chandeliers
Jason came back to life
Tim figured out he was Batman before he even hit puberty
And Damian, well everything about Damian was weird
So, he picks up the small boy
Who immediately grinned and snuggled into him
ngl his heart skipped a beat
And he’s thinking he’ll check everyone’s beds until he can determine just who turned into a baby
He goes to everyone’s room, waking them up in progress
It was like the whisper game except everyone’s too tired for this shit
And by the time he gets to Jason’s bedroom, everyone is wide awake and knows what’s going on
And Jason just wakes up to see his family, and a baby in Bruce hands and rolls his eyes
“I thought you said Demon boy would be the last one.”
And instead of having breakfast, everyone is wondering who this baby is
“So, a random baby got through your security fences to have nap time with you?”
“Could be a past version of one of us.”
“Then let’s get a DNA test and sort out the problem.”
And that’s exactly what they do
They put the boy in the TV room with some breakfast (Cereal à la Dick)
And just when they were about to leave
“Where are you going, daddy?”
Bruce’s, THE Batman’s, mind kinda just goes blank
“We’ll be back in a few minutes, champ.”
The young boy, so obedient and well-behaved, just nodded his head
And they slip out quickly
And they compare the DNA to each and every one of them
Only problem is that the results come out only half Bruce Wayne and half someone else
And don’t match Damian
“Another secret child Bruce? You really need to keep it in your pants.”
“I agree.”
Bruce is so goddamn tired
Why does he have another blood son who he had no memory of making?
“That doesn’t explain how he got inside the manor. Or why he thinks I’m his dad.”
It was quiet for a second, while everyone was thinking
And then Dick spoke up
“Well, why don’t we just ask him?”
“Because....I don’t know.”
And Dick was already on his way back to the screening room, with the others at his heels
“Hey buddy!” He said when he got the kids eyes on him
Immediately he lit up, grinning sweetly at him
Now that surprised him
Dick sat next to him, scooping him up in his arms and placing him in his lap
“You wanna play a game, bud?”
He nodded excitedly
“Let’s pretend as if we’re meeting each other for the first time.”
“Great! I’ll go first. Hi, my name’s Dick Grayson, what’s your name?”
“I’m Calvin Wayne!”
“Hi Calvin! How old are you bud?”
“I’m four years old!”
“Wow, you’re so smart, Calvin! Okay one more question, do you know which year you were born?”
“Two, zero, two, three.”
Now, either this kid was confused or he knew exactly what he was talking about
Dick’s mind was whirring, as was everyone else’s who was hiding behind the door
“Dickie, can we play a different game? This one is boring.”
Dick laughed, “It was a little boring, right?”
“Yeah, let’s play circus!”
“No can do, little guy, you just ate breakfast. Maybe later.”
“Mmm Okay!”
And Dick just saunters out of the room
And everyone is just staring at him in awe
“How did you do that?”
“Please, I tamed Damian, a little angel like him is a piece of cake.”
And no one can deny that
So, now they’ve all understood that this kid is supposedly Bruce Wayne’s future son that he had with some woman
Not that surprising
And he came from the future
A little bit surprising
“Daddy?” Calvin asks coming out of the TV room, “Where’s mommy?”
A lot bit surprising
“Um, come again?”
“Where’s mommy? I miss her.”
Bruce looked like he was going to have an aneurysm
No offense, but his kids had a history of not having mothers
Okay, so maybe he co-parents
That makes sense
And everyone is kinda floundering because this adorable kid is staring up at them
With such wide and innocent eyes
Genuinely asking where his mother was because he missed her
And Bruce had to tread very lightly
“Um, your mom isn’t here, buddy.”
“Why? Where did she go?”
Hoping to distract him, Bruce just comes up with a cover story
“She went to the store; do you want ice cream?”
His eyes lit up, “Okay! But mommy doesn’t like it when we have ice cream in the morning. Where is mommy? We should ask her.”
And suddenly he wanted his mother again
“Um, I already asked her and she said we can have one bowl of ice cream.”
“Really?! Yay!! We should wait for mommy to get home and share with her!”
Oh, for the love of god
Why was this kid so attached to his mother?
Tim seemed to notice Bruce was flustered and couldn’t think of anything
“Hey, bud, you wanna have a fun brother’s day with all of us today?”
“Great! But it can only be your brothers today. No girls allowed.”
“What about Cassie?”
“Cassie won’t come. It’s only boys today.”
“And Cassie will go on a girl’s day with mommy, right? Where is mommy?”
For fucks sake
And then Jason finally steps up, picking up the kid and throwing him over his shoulders
Calvin was laughing happily and everyone suddenly felt better
“Off to the arcade we go!”
And then the Batboys go to the arcade
All in their pyjamas
And Bruce is left behind so he can figure out just what the hell they were going to do with his supposed son
There were a lot of gaps when he came to think about it
His son hasn’t been conceived yet so he figures that he sleeps with a woman, gets her pregnant
Been there, done that
Surprised it’s only happened once
Meanwhile at the arcade
The boys are having a wonderful time with Calvin
The teams are split with Dick, Jason and Calvin against Damian and Tim
Because Dick and Jason are the only ones tall enough to carry Calvin to throw the basketballs
Tim tries to throw the game for the kid
But Damian is super competitive
So, both teams are almost tied
Mainly because when Calvin isn’t looking, Jason makes a lot of shots for him
Dick (or Dickie as Calvin likes to call him) is over the moon because hello? More brothers means more love
Means more babies to take care of and nurture
And Dick couldn’t be a better role model
Damian gets kinda jealous that all his attention is on Calvin now
Jason (or Jay-jay) kinda thought he was going to be a brat
But Calvin is such a well-mannered kid
Albeit a little attached and clingy but that just means that Bruce and his mother were raising him right and with a lot of love
Calvin is a smart kid and Jason’s kinda impressed
But tbh anyone looks like an upgrade after they’ve seen Damian
Tim (or Timmy or Timtim which he assumes is supposed to be a pun on Tintin) thinks the kid is cute
He’s kind of awkward with kids though
But he hasn’t tried to kill him yet so he already has a better first impression than Damian
Damian (or Dami) thinks he’s kind of annoying
Not only is he not the youngest brother anymore
He’s also not the only blood son
Doesn’t like it at all
But Calvin kind of looks up to him
Every time he made a shot, Calvin complimented him
“Wow....I want Dami to teach me how to shoot!”
After a couple of hours, the kid got hungry
So, after food, they all decided to go home 
Because even though Calvin said he wanted to keep playing
They all noticed the way he kept rubbing his eyes and yawning
So, Dick just scooped him up in his arms
He fell asleep before they even left the arcade
And once they got home, they tucked him in nice and toasty
Inside Bruce’s room
Bruce protested but was quickly shut down
“You want him to wake up in some room he doesn’t recognize and be all alone?”
Bruce so far has been avoiding this kid
Because he doesn’t know what he should be doing
He has no idea who this kid’s mother is and has no idea how to get him back to his own time
And then he comes into his room before he has to leave for patrol
And he sees Calvin’s tiny body underneath the think duvet
He still has a bad habit of sucking his thumb while he’s asleep
But it looks so adorable and innocent to Bruce
His heart honestly sings seeing this adorable baby who is so innocently sleeping
Without a care in the world
And so vulnerable
Like he trusts Bruce with his life
And he feels safe inside his bed
And that’s when Bruce starts to think that maybe this could be his son
Even though he doesn’t know how Calvin got here
He was going to try and make sure that he was still this happy little ball of sunshine
They wake him up after a quick nap though
Because otherwise he wouldn’t sleep through the night
And Bruce spends the rest of the night with him
He absolutely loves when Calvin calls him ‘Daddy’
Because even though he has so many kids
He was never with them since infancy
He was so young and small
And had yet to see all the cruelty of the world
They watched movies and played together
Until he got tired again and Bruce had to leave for patrol
The next morning unfortunately Bruce has a meeting to go to
But he entrusts his sons to look after their youngest brother
He still has an hour before the meeting starts when Dick comes in with Calvin squirming in his arms and ice cream on Calvin’s face
As soon as he sees Bruce, he squirms out his hands and runs to him
And starts crying into his chest
Getting snot and tears and saliva and chocolate ice cream on his shirt
“What happened, champ?”
“No one’s telling me where mommy is!”
Bruce takes a while to calm him down
Puts some cartoons on his designated work laptop
God bless his recommended for the next few weeks
And quickly tells his secretary that he needs a new shirt
After a while, Calvin says he needs to go to the bathroom so Dick takes him
And his secretary comes into his office
“Hey, I got a shirt from Ralph Lauren and a couple of ties that go with it.”
And there was you
The best secretary he’d ever had in his entire life
You’re damn good at your job
And you look damn good while doing it
But you’re not just his secretary, you’re like his best friend
His home away from home
Because his home was crazy and you felt safe and normal
And he’ll never tell you because he treasures you but he’s been in love with you for like 2 years
Teenage shit
Which he’s quite embarrassed about but he doesn’t know how to deal with normal people
And he doesn’t want to just sleep with you and have a relationship like the others
He feels like he can have honest and weird talks with you
4 am talks when you both are kind of tipsy and have no filters
He didn’t just want a relationship with you
He wanted a life with you
And all his desires were way too heavy for his heart to handle
He wanted something so normal
The feeling was foreign to him
So, in the meantime, he was just fine having you in his life
You come inside, holding up the shirt to his body just to check if it’s the correct size
When you hear the door open
And a tiny body came crashing into you and you went crashing into Bruce
Who was sturdy enough not to fall
You were so close to Bruce that you could smell his cologne
His eyes were so blue and pretty
He was so much more handsome up close
And your face got damn red until you realized the hand on your ass was way too tiny to be his
When you look down, the cutest, most adorable little baby boy was staring up at you with a wide smile
“I missed you mommy!”
And your maternal instincts just go through the roof
You squat down to his eye level
In stilettos may I add
Bruce is Batman but even he can’t manage that
“Sweetheart, I’m not your mom, but don’t worry, we’re going to find her as soon as possible.”
He looks kind of devasted
Which you understand
But your heart still kind of breaks
His eyes fill up with tears
Again, understandable
But you still panic
“Daddy, I want mommy!” He starts wailing and runs into Bruce’s arms
“You adopted another kid?!”
But oops his meeting has to start now so Bruce has to leave
And Dick gets a red alert from the precinct
So now you have to babysit Calvin
Yes, I know this is an amazing sequence of coincidences
But it’s my work so boohoo you
Bruce is constantly apologizing
But you’re his secretary and you get paid to make his life easier
So, you’re just like don’t worry about it I’ll take care of the little man for now
Ignoring the fact that he literally just called you mom
And cried his eyes out when he realized you weren’t
The two of you were watching cartoons in the office
Calvin crawled into your lap and you were holding him tightly
It was these types of moments that made you want to be a mom in the future
Suddenly there’s a bright light in the middle of the room
You shield your eyes but forget to cover Calvin’s
And then you hear
When you open your eyes, there’s a woman who looks just like you and Bruce Wayne in a Batman costume
Future you scoops him up in your arms and peppers his face in a bunch of kisses
“Ugh I love you, I love you, I love you so much my precious baby.”
You make out the giant diamond on her finger and the wedding ring as well
When Calvin is finally sated and cradled between both his parents, future you notices you staring
“Thanks for taking care of him.”
You just nod, unable to say anything
“Your life is going to completely change from today, (Y/N). Just make me one promise.”
“The next question Bruce asks you; you have to say yes.”
“What’s he going to—”
“Just say yes, alright? It changes your life forever.”
You’re pretty sure he’s going to ask you out
And just the thought has your heart racing
Today, the man who you have been in love with for years was finally going to ask you on a date
You wave bye to Calvin and they leave
Not even a minute later
Bruce comes into the office and is surprised to see Calvin missing
“Batman picked him up,” You explain, a shy smile coming on your face, “His wife too.”
He was so relieved
Albeit a little disappointed that he didn’t get to say goodbye
And now a little stressed because now you know his secret
“You don’t have to explain anything to me. I’m okay with just going with the flow.”
And he let’s out a relieved sigh
Letting out all his stress is one breath
“Marry me.”
You were not expecting that
A laugh of disbelief left you and there were so many things rushing through your head
He probably didn’t mean it and it was just a offhanded comment that he made
But you wanted to
It obviously ended well
And you promised
He blinked, eyes widening when he heard you, “Okay? Seriously? Because I’ll get someone to get a diamond ring right now.”
You laughed tearfully, “I’m your secretary, you loser, I’m the only one who does errands for you.”
“Even better, you can pick out your favourite.”
You didn’t realize you were crying, “Now I love you even more.”
“I love you, (Y/N).”
“I love you too, Bruce.”
Forever Taglist:
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thexhotmess · 3 months ago
Roy: so who confessed first
Jason: *proud* I did
Y/N: he threw a crumpled paper at me that said “I like you” then ran away like a 5th grader
Jason: but it worked :)
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batfamstan4life · 3 months ago
Tim: hey Steph I have something important to tell you and I don’t want you to think any differently of me
Steph: hey it’s ok Batman’s no kill rule is hard to follow just show me where is body is and I’ll help you bury it
Tim: WHAT!? NO! I’m trying to tell you I’m bisexual!
Steph: oh shit me too!
799 notes · View notes
alisonwritesimagines · 9 days ago
Silent Auction ~Batfamily Imagine~
Summary: During a gala, your sons get together to surprise you and Bruce with a gift for your future baby. However, you and Bruce are surprised and confused at the gift.
Author's Note: This may or may not be inspired by a scene in an episode of Netflix's The Babysitter's Club.
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"I swear to you that mom and Bruce are planning on having a baby," Tim told everyone.
"Really? How do you know?" Duke asked him.
Tim could smell the food his mother and Alfred were cooking for the night's dinner. It wasn't rare for you two to be cooking together as you had always felt lazy whenever Alfred did all the cooking and cleaning.
"What has Master Bruce said about the situation?" Alfred asked you. Tim could hear you both talking as he stood by the slightly opened door.
"He agrees on this. I know our family is big but most of the kids are gone. We have the space for it. And I think it'll be great to expand the family. Plus it'll be nice to have another little Wayne running around. Right?" Tim heard you say.
"Well, you have my full support," Alfred told you.
Tim's eyes widen from processing your conversation. You and Bruce were going to have a child together.
"And how long ago was this?" Cassandra asked.
"Like a few days ago. I don't know why they haven't told us yet," Tim said as he leaned back a little.
"It's because mother and father do not think we're ready," Damien said.
"What are you talking about?" Dick asked.
"Isn't it obvious? Mother and father have focused on us ever since they took us in. If they bring a baby, then they're gonna worry more about us and the baby," Damien said.
"Huh. What do you know? The little demon spawn has a point," Jason said.
"So what should we do then?" Cassandra asked.
"I hear there is a silent auction at the gala coming up. Why don't we find something for them and let them know that they should have a baby," Dick said.
"Yeah. Let's see what they have before we buy anything."
The Wayne family had always made an appearance at a few galas or charity auctions once in a while. This was to help the community and keep your family's secret under wraps. However, this gala had seemed a little different to you. You couldn't figure out what but since the children were in somewhat good behavior, you didn't pay much attention.
"Guys check it out! A baby basket," Cassandra said as they all approached it.
"This is perfect. Someone needs to distract mom and Bruce while we try to win this," Jason said.
"Damien and Duke. You two go distract mom and Bruce until the auction is done," Dick ordered.
"Alright. Let's go," Duke said before heading over to you and Bruce.
"Mother. I have a question for you," Damien said.
"What is it, sweetie?" You asked as you looked over at him.
"If you had to choose on your favorite child, who would it be?" Damien said.
"Damien! You know that I love you all equally right?" You asked him.
"Yes, but if you had to choose, who would it be and why?" Damien asked.
"Let's change the subject. That's a beautiful dress, Y/n. Thank you for letting me come with you guys," Duke smiled.
"You are family now, Duke. You have to attend these kinds of stuff anyway once in a while," you smiled.
"Yes. Even though they are a pain to attend to," Bruce complained a little.
"Don't whine. You promised me we'd attend this," you warned your husband.
"I know. Why don't we look at the auctions? You can pick out something if you want and we'll bid on it," Bruce told you.
"No!" Duke and Damien protested. You and Bruce looked over at the two in confusion.
"No? Why?" You asked confused.
"Because I want you to dance with me," Damien said before leading you to the dance floor.
While Duke and Damien kept you and Bruce occupied, the rest was keeping people away from the basket.
"Oh, this looks lovely," one lady said as she looked at the basket.
"You don't want that," Cassandra said.
"Is that so?"
"Yes. I think there are more deserving women who are expecting currently," Dick tells the lady.
"Why don't you bid on this lovely chocolate basket?" Tim said as he pointed the basket to the other side.
"Okay, Damien. I think I should get a drink now," you tell your youngest as you both strayed away from the dance floor.
"I can get it for you. Stay right here," Damien said as he rushed off.
"The kids are definitely up to something," you tell your husband who approached you after your dance.
"Yes, they are. Are we going to question it?"
"In a bit. There hasn't been too much chaos yet," you tell him.
"Mom! Bruce!" You heard. You both turned around to see your kids with a bassinet with baby stuff in it.
"Congratulations!" Dick smiled as he handed Bruce the bassinet.
"What's this?" You asked.
"We know you two are planning on having a baby!" Tim smiled. You and Bruce looked at each other before looking back at the kids.
"We didn't even tell you kids yet because we weren't sure if we should bring in another Wayne member in the house so soon," you tell the kids.
"You should mom. Especially since we're all grown up and no offense, you and father aren't getting any younger," Damien told you.
"Damien," Cassandra warned as she nudged him.
"We're glad you kids are okay with it," you smiled.
"But we won't be bringing in a baby just yet. We do have some things to sort out but we are glad you kids are okay with it," Bruce smiled.
"But for now, how did you kids manage to outbid everyone?" You asked.
"We have our ways," Jason smiled.
"Do I have to pay for it?" Bruce asked.
"Of course not. We all pitched in. And Alfred of course," Duke told you.
"So baby names yet?" Cassandra asked you making you laugh a little.
"Not yet but you know what, we'll talk about it," you tell your kids.
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ellana-ravenwood · a year ago
“You’re not my real mom !” - Batkids x Fem!Reader (Batmom)
Synopsis : A story about those few dreaded words : “You’re not my real mom”, said by the batkids, to you, in a the heat of a moment. And the aftermath of it all... 
This has been in my draft for ages. I hope you like it :) : 
my masterlists : @ella-ravenwood-archives
It happened so fast. In a quick moment of anger. 
A flash, a bang, words said too quickly to truly realize their meaning. 
Dick was frustrated because he felt you didn’t understand him, his point of view. And you were trying to explain to him that it was not okay to...
You know what ? 
You couldn’t even remember what he did. As if whatever it was, it was all wiped out of your memory when he pronounced those bone chilling words. 
You only remembered you were “scolding” him, just like parents do when their child did something he wasn’t supposed to. You rarely told Dick off, even when he would burst into fits of anger. 
You always told him : “When you came into my life, you changed everything. And I love all of you little bird. Not just when you’re joking around and smiling. But also when you get angry, and lash out. You are my son, I love all of you.” 
And you meant it. Often, you or Bruce would take the brunt of his anger, without batting an eye. After all, that child went through a lot. It was totally normal for him to lash out at times. 
He saw his parents died right in front of him. It wasn’t a trauma that would be solved that fast (Bruce was proof of it). “The magic of love” couldn't simply cure someone who was so deeply hurt. Although it helped, over time. 
Yes. Time. 
It would take time, and support, for Dick to heal. And you were here for it. Here for him. 
But there were times, you had to say something. 
Usually, it was when he was being too reckless. 
Your son could be overzealous, and go too far. And you were so worried about his safety and wellbeing...Very rarely, you’d have to “scold” him. 
And you couldn’t even remember what you were lecturing him about that evening (even if you had an idea it was about being a little more careful). All you remembered was...
“You’re not even my real mom ! You can’t tell me anything !” 
And him turning away from you, crossing his arms and refusing to look your way. Which was good anyway, because you were an instant mess. 
“Ok”, you managed to say, wondering how the hell you were able to get the words out. And then you left. Feeling the tears welling up in your eyes. And your heart slowly breaking. 
Bruce found you two later, both clearly feeling down... 
Dick stayed quiet the entire time they were on patrol, and Bruce instantly knew something was wrong. He wasn’t there during your fight, and he only arrived when you were already gone, surprised that you went to bed so early in the night, and didn’t stay with your son downstairs until it was time for patrol... 
The man didn’t push the boy, waiting for him to open up if he wanted to. And as usual, Dick did finally speak up. In a weak voice, as they were surveying the city from a rooftop, he said :
“I told her she wasn’t my real mom...” 
Bruce felt the urge to go back home and console you, knowing that you were certainly a mess, right now. But he had to take care of his boy, too. 
And oh, oh Dick looked so crestfallen and sad as the meaning of his words slowly etched into his mind. 
“I told her she wasn’t-she wasn’t-but she is I just-I-I don’t know why I said that-I...” 
The little one was on the verge of tears, and Bruce understood why. 
He probably understood more than anyone else. 
He told Alfred “You’re not my dad !” more than once, and remembered how even the stoic butler looked, whenever he said it. 
He remembered the hurt in his eyes, the resignation too. The “very well sir”, said in a neutral manner, but the stiff way he’d left the room. 
It took Bruce a while, to finally realize that Alfred WAS his father. That he raised him, most definitely. And was always there for him during the hard times. 
That he even helped and supported him, when he came back after disappearing for years, saying : “I’m going to dress up as a bat and wipe crimes from Gotham”. ...How many parents would be that understanding, eh ? 
Alfred knew Bruce. And always tried to do his best for him. So whenever Bruce would yell at him that he “wasn’t his father”, it hurt. 
Bruce knew it. He noticed how Alfred’s entire demeanor would change. He’d see a light go out in his eyes. 
“Very well, sir.”, a small bow, and the stiffness of his body as he left...
And Bruce remembered. 
The guilt and the pain he felt himself, as he regretted ever saying those words. As he knew they were going to hurt, which is why he said them in the first place.
It wasn’t that he wanted to hurt his adopted father, oh no. It was that sometimes he just...He just felt so angry ! Like everything was unfair ! And he missed his parents so much ! 
It was a force stronger than him, he wanted Alfred to leave him alone, and pushed him away...”You’re not my dad !”. So yes. Bruce understood little Dickie. He understood you, too. He knew how you must’ve felt, he saw it enough happening to Alfred. 
Once you’d get home, he would take care of you. But right now, he had to care for his son. 
Right here, on one of Gotham’s rooftop, the scary and mighty Batman slowly kneeled down, and took his boy in his arms, holding him tightly. 
Dick didn’t need more to throw his arms around his father’s shoulders, and hold him strongly too, with all his nine years old strength, sobbing slowly. 
Bruce drew soothing circles on his back, and whispered : 
“It’s ok, it’s going to be ok. It’s ok. Calm down, things are going to be ok.” 
Your husband lost count of the time passing. Were they there, holding each others while Dick was sobbing uncontrollably, for ten minutes, or for ten hours ? He didn’t know. And he didn’t budge.  
His son needed him. Just like once, he needed Alfred... 
Dick fell asleep in his arms, and that night, Bruce came home early. 
Not like he was going to stay out anyway, knowing you were probably devastated, all alone in your room... 
Dick fell into a deep sleep, and didn’t budge one bit even as Bruce came down the building, rode home, and put him into bed. 
Bruce’s guess was that all the pent up feelings truly exhausted him. Also, he knew that crying could be tiring. And freeing, in a way. 
Putting the boy’s blanket all the way up to his chin, Bruce laid a kiss on his forehead and then rushed to your shared bedroom... 
You had cried too, but you were not asleep. 
Your eyes were puffy and red, and your cheeks marked with your tears. You seemed surprised, when he came in, and looked at the clock. 
It was only midnight ? 
“Hello, my love.” 
He sat down next to you, and from the way he ran his fingers through your hair, and caressed your cheek, wiping the salty tears from it...You knew he knew.
He knew how devastated you felt. How those simple words that would mean nothing for many, truly wounded you. 
He knew how much you loved that boy, how as soon as your eyes laid on his little face that terrible night he lost his parents, you felt like he was going to be your son one day. 
He knew how much you’d sacrifice for that kid’s happiness, how far you’d go to keep him safe...And so, how hurtful him telling you you weren’t his real mother must’ve felt.  
There was no need for words. 
He knew what to do. He laid next to you, and you just cuddled up to him, letting him wrap you up in his warm embrace. 
He drew those same soothing circles on your back than he did on Dick’s. And whispered : 
“He didn’t mean it. He truly didn’t. He loves you, you know. I love you too.” 
You fell asleep to his words of love and reassurance, finally letting go after hours of not being able to sleep, reenacting the terrible scene in your head over and over again, making yourself feel worst each times. 
You woke up around 4 am, with Bruce’s arms wrapped around you.  
He was asleep and escaping his grasp (without Alfred’s help) took you a little bit..but you managed to leave without waking him up. 
He did groan a little at the loss of your warmth, and grabbed your pillow to hold it against his chest. Which was extremely cute, and oh how glad you were to be the only one to see this side of him. 
You went down to the kitchen and... 
Dick was coming from the other door, opposite to the one you took.
The kitchen had three access. Two doors facing each others, and one on the third wall. The door you took was because you got a little lost and did a detour through the drawing room. Dick, however, came from the door you should’ve come from too, which was the one you accessed from the West Wing third corridors, which was directly under your bedroom, and Dick’s. 
The boy probably stood up a little after you, and while you got lost in your own home (again), he took the normal way and...
Boom. Here you both were, arriving in the kitchen at the same time. 
There was a small silence. Awkward. And...
Your heart tightened. 
Dick was sort of cowering backward in fear. Fear of what ? 
Oh. But of course. 
“He didn’t mean it.” 
Bruce whispered to you many times, before you fell asleep. And the way Dick looked at you, worry in his eyes...He was thinking you were mad at him. And the regret in his pupils was as obvious as that fact. 
“Ice cream ?” 
You ask him. His eyes widen a bit, and you can almost see the gears in his brain trying to piece everything together. You’re...not mad at him ? 
Of course you’re not. You felt sad, and lost, and hurt, yes. But never did you feel any hint of anger. Of course not. 
You take out his favorite flavor from the freezer, and settle a bowl in front of one of the high stool around the counter. 
At that time, Dick was so tiny. A very short little bean. And he’d stay small for a long time, only having a sudden spurt when he was around fifteen. 
He climbed onto the stool, and watched you as you gave him some ice cream and a spoon, and then sat down next to him to eat some as well. 
The silent was slowly turning less awkward. 
Slowly, and unsurely, Dick picked his spoon up and looked at you. And completely missed his mouth, the ice cream spreading on his cheek instead. 
You turn around to look at him, ice cream on his cheek, and he’s clearly embarrassed, as a tint of color slowly rises on his face. 
You don’t really know why, but something snaps in you and you start laughing. And laughing. And laughing. 
Because honestly, the kid missing his mouth as he picked his spoon up full of ice cream, is kinda funny right ? And also, all the tension and stress you felt suddenly broke with this simple, silly thing. 
Unsure at first, Dick just looked at you. But your laughter quickly spread to him, and soon enough, you both were bursting out in laughter. 
Anyone not knowing what happened, would probably think you were both crazy, laughing that hard for no apparent reasons. 
Instinctually, you ruffle his hair and Dick gasps. You really weren’t mad at him ?!
You realized what you did, and slowly, both your laughter subsided. There was a small silence as Dick stared at you, and you stared back, and then : 
“I’m-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean it !” 
He says in a small voice, and he can’t add anything else as you just pick him up and hold him tight against your heart, and you say : 
“I know.” 
And it’s all he needs to realize you’re not really mad at him, and although he messed up and hurt you, right now, you were both on the path of recovery... 
Next morning, Bruce woke up alone in bed, which greatly distressed him as usual (he often woke up first). But a gut feeling was telling him that...
He found you asleep with Dick in his bed, holding him tightly. 
After that event, you sat down with him, so you could have a serious talk about the underlining issue this raised. Talk about something important. 
“Little bird, you know I love you, right ?” 
He nods, but still cannot speak quite yet, doesn’t have the energy to. 
“I want you to understand something. Something vital. Are you listening ?” 
He nods again, his eyes fixed on you. And he’s listening, oh he definitely is. 
“It’s ok to be angry. It’s ok to lash out. It’s ok to not be alright. It’s ok to make mistakes.” 
He nods, a little slower than before, and you can see his eyes slowly becoming wetter and wetter. 
“It’s ok. It really is. I’m here. And I love you. Even when you don’t want me around. Even when you push me away. I’m here. And I always will be. Ok ?” 
He nods one last time, unable to hold his tears, and then his little arms latch around you, and he refuses to let go for well over an hour...
Oh. Sweet, sweet boy. 
Your son. 
Even now, at age twenty seven, Dick still often think about this day. And the regrets are as burning as they were back then. 
He often thought about it. 
Whenever you did something for him, went out of your way to make him happy, or were just there for him, always...
He’d have a flashback of this day, and feel nothing but regret and anger at his younger self. 
And then you’d read him like an open book. Know exactly what he was thinking, and would slowly shake your head, and say : “I know I often said that, but I will say it till the day I die if I need to :  when you came into my life, you changed everything. And I love all of you little bird. Not just when you’re joking around and smiling. But also when you get angry, and lash out. You are my son. I love all of you. Even when you’re a little bit of a jerk.” and you’d wink at him, making him chuckle and feel a surge of affection toward you. 
Kind of like the ones you’d feel sometimes. A sudden urge to hug your family, to tell them what they mean to you. Both you and Dick understood since a long time that with the life you all lead, you never knew what could happen, and should never waste a “I love you” if you felt like saying it. 
Well, the apple never fall far from the tree ? 
Yes. Because you were his mom. And nothing would ever change his mind on that. Ever. 
"Well Jason, you did it you idiot !” 
He says to himself in the mirror, and oh he could’ve punch himself if it was possible. He took his desk chair, and threw it across his bedroom, letting out a scream of frustration. 
He went to his desk, and threw everything that was on it on the floor. He then went to his book shelves and...
There. Your book. The one you wrote for him. 
Jason fell to his knee, holding his head in his hands, crying softly. 
Yes. Yes he did it...He ruined this one chance life gave him to have parents. 
He hurt one of the person that meant the most to him, one of the person he loved the most...His mom. You. 
Because you were his mom, no matter what he told you, in that moment of anger as you scolded him after he did something dangerous during one of his patrol. 
He hadn’t been allowed to go out for long, by then. And Bruce had already scolded him before for the very same thing, so when you did it too, he had enough happened before he could think about it. 
He was angry, about the lack of trust and about the sermons, and his brain tried to hurt without even thinking about it. Triggered by years of living in the streets, where he had to think quick and act right away, and then suffer the consequences. If he wasn’t fast enough, it could be the end of him... 
A gut reaction triggered by years of being all on his own, having to fend for himself. His brain went into overdrive, “hurt” is what it set into motion. 
“You’re not my mom !” 
And that was it...
As he saw your face fell, and his father’s face turn angry, he knew. He knew he messed up. He messed everything up, as usual !
“Jason !” 
Bruce called, but Jason wasn’t about to stop. He ran out of the cave, right to his bedroom. Oh, oh but if only he stayed a little longer. He’d realize that his father wasn’t angry, just hurt as well. 
Hurt to see the woman he loved being hurt. 
Not angry. Ah but being in pain could sometimes look like you are mad ? And Bruce hadn't been able to hide his frown as he heard Jason’s words... 
“Let him be, Bruce.” 
You say in a weak voice. You knew Jason, you knew sometimes he needed to cool down on his own. That he could be impulsive, but always came around. 
Ah. But that time, he needed everything but to be alone. 
Because, as he thought he ruined his one chance at having a real family, he thought... 
“Better to leave before they throw me away !” 
He knew he could never bear to face you and Bruce, as you’d certainly tell him you were “un-adopting” him. Jason saw it happened before. Someone thinking their adopted kid was “too much”, and sending them back. 
It was awful, of course. But it happened. For real. And Jason knew that life could really suck...But her couldn’t bear to face you as you’d send him away. 
Worst, what if you just send Alfred and that was it ?
No. Jason would leave before you could do that. He couldn’t bear it. He couldn’t. 
Filling his backpack with some clothes, and snacks, he opened his window and slid down the gutter all the way to the ground, and then ran away into the night. Tears trailing down behind him, as he left behind the one place in which he ever felt safe, warm, and loved. 
In the meantime, you and Bruce were unaware of that, and slowly falling asleep in each others’ arms... As usual, Bruce was there for you. 
“Jason ? I thought I wouldn’t see you anymore after you got adopted by dem fancy fellas. Are you here to get some work ?” 
“Really, why did you come then ?” 
“I didn’t, I’m just passing by.” 
“Nah, don’t believe it. Once a bad boy, always a bad boy !” 
As he ran away, Jason went back to a place he thought he never would need to. A few intricate alleys, in the Bowery, under the main city. 
The Bowery, a filthy underground neighborhood, hell on Earth for many. Although things did improve when Batman started his work a few years back. 
“Wow there tiger, relax.” 
Jason came in this specific area for only one thing. Retrieve a few items he left behind, thinking he would never need it again because he was leaving behind this life. 
He had a hideout, not far. In which he hid some materials to survive in the streets. He thought he probably had to go back to stealing cars’ tires...Although maybe he should change it. Thinking of what happened last time he did this hurt his heart. 
He knew that next time he’d get caught stealing tires, the person wouldn’t end up adopting him...Anyway, he didn’t want any other parents but you and Bruce. 
And he messed that up so bad, by being so mean to you ! 
“Listen, it’s not because you got all fancy schmancy that you can talk to me like that. Remember who’s boss in this part of town.” 
Batman did a lot of good to the city, but also, by getting rid of some big players in the “crime business”, he allowed small time thugs to climb up the ladders...It felt, at times, like there always was someone to replace whoever Bruce just put behind bars... 
The man who was talking to Jason, used to be a small time criminal. Turned boss, when the Batman kept arresting all the people above him. Jason used to “work” for him, bringing him watches or jewelry that he’d exchange against cash. 
Damn. He never thought he’d ever see him again... Oh and he definitely didn’t think this through. 
As the new boss, who’s name was Johnny Clancy, told him that he’d forever be a “bad boy”, Jason saw red and...getting mad at a crime boss was a bad idea. 
Before he could even think about an escape plan, Jason was surrounded by dangerous armed men. 
“How dare you talk to me like that ? Mmm. The Waynes adopted you right ? Mmm. They’re loaded. Probably would pay a fortune to get you back uh ? And to think they’re gonna give me a lot of cash to get a little runaway brat back haha. Because that’s what you did right ? You ran away ? As you always did before mm ? You know, I observed you Jason Todd. I saw you run away from anyone getting close. I saw you.” 
Jason’s heart didn’t need anyone to push and squiggle the knife he felt in around some more. He had just lost his family. Did he need more reminder that he always fucked up ?! 
“They won’t give you any money, they don’t want me anymore...” 
But Johnny didn’t believe him, of course. He told two of his thugs to grab the boy, but Jason, by instinct, dropped them to the floor with a few well placed kicks and punches. 
And that was enough to unleash Johnny Clancy’s wrath.
See, he was a new boss. He had to assert dominance. And an eight years old kid making a fool of him and his gang ? That wouldn’t go. 
So what if he had to off a child ? Anything to keep climbing up, and leave the Bowery’s slums. 
“Have you seen Jason ?” 
Bruce asks you, a few hours after your fight with him. 
“What ? No, I thought he was with you ?”
“No, he skipped his training and I thought he might be with you, apologizing for what he said yesterday ? You know, sounds like something he would do.” 
“I haven’t seen him since, you know. I thought he was avoiding me...” 
“He would never.” 
“He would never, my love. I know what he said hurt you, but I’m sure he’s regretting it right now. You should go see him, he’s probably sulking in his bedroom. I wouldn’t be surprised if you meet him up the stairs as he comes down to say sorry.” 
Your husband comes to you, and takes your hands in his. 
“You know him. He’s impulsive, and a little abrasive sometimes. But he’s a sweet child. And he regrets his bursts, you know it. Tonight was just tough, we both scolded him, he’s not used to it.” 
“You’re right.” 
“Of course I am, I’m-”
“I swear to God if you say “I’m Batman” I’m going to smack you.” 
Bruce smiles softly at you, glad he managed to at least made the tension go away a little. He pecks your lips quickly, and watches you as you leave to go to your son’s bedroom. 
He was about to go down the Batcave, when you came back, panicked : 
“He’s gone ! Jason’s gone !” 
Ah. Bruce knew that placing a tracker in his children’s molars was a good idea. 
Jason runs as fast as he can, without looking back. He managed to break the line of thugs coming at him, and escape in-between to of them who didn’t pull their guns out quite yet. 
They were shooting at him. With no hesitation. 
Johnny was set on proving he was an unscrupulous boss. To earn everyone’s respect. So what if he had to shoot a kid ? It’d send everyone a message. He’d back off from nothing ! 
Jason turned in an alley and...Damn it ! He must’ve taken a wrong turn at some point, it had been a while, since he roamed the Bowery’s alleyways...
He was faced by a wall, stuck. And they quickly caught up to him. 
“Wooouh, you’re fast kid. And you’re sneaky. Too bad you’re such a brat, I bet you could be a nice addition to our-”
Johnny Clancy never finished his sentence. In fact, he never could properly speak after that night. After getting his jaw broken into a thousand pieces by the Batman’s fist. 
Bruce had come down from nowhere, in his arms ?! 
This was the first time Jason saw you wear the costume he saw a few times in the Batcave. He thought you wore it only to go to the JLA’s watchtower, to hide your identity. Not that you could actually...fight ?! 
And wow, you definitely could hold your own ! You made a few disarming pass, taking the guns away from all the men before they could even react, and letting Bruce finish them off with well placed kicks and punches. 
Oh and that night, the Batman unleashed his rage and unforgiveness full force. How dare they touch his son ?! 
You didn’t have anything to envy from your husband either, however, as you worked through Johnny’s gang rather fast too. 
That night, the both of you exterminated (figure of speech, of course, neither of you ever killed, that was the one big rule...but there were never a rule against breaking a few bones) Johnny Clancy’s gang, who dared to even think of hurting your precious son. 
Jason, holding his backpack tight against him, couldn’t believe his eyes. You two came to save him ? But...why ? 
He messed up. You’d surely not want him around anymore ! 
Once Bruce dropped the last man, you rushed to Jason and before he could utter a sound, took him in your arms. 
“Oh my god, I’m so glad you’re safe baby, I’m so glad you’re...” 
Your voice broke at the end, and you chocked, the emotions too strong and squeezing your throat. 
Jason didn’t understand. And through his surprise, he managed to say : 
“I thought-I thought you’d never want to see me again, and that you wouldn’t want to be my mom anymore.” 
You hold him even tighter, as you feel Bruce get down on his knee and bring the both of you in his arms. 
“Oh sweety, never. Never.” 
You say, not letting go. 
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry...” 
Your son manage to choke out, before sobbing profusely and holding on to you and Bruce. 
“I’m just glad you’re’s ok, it’s ok it’s already forgotten...” 
And it was. As soon as you saw that Jason-That your SON, was missing, you forgot he ever told you “you’re not my mom”. You forgot and it truly didn’t matter anymore, as all you cared about was to find him, and make sure he was safe. 
“Jason, oh my little Jason, I’m so glad you’re safe...”
Wether it is a conscious things or not, he returns your embrace fiercely, holding tightly as he looks up at you. It almost feels like he wants to make sure you really are there. And won’t go anywhere. Like everyone else did in his life. 
Jason was tired of losing those close to him. Those he cared about. Sometimes, he’d push them away, by fear of getting attached again just for life to rip them away from him. So he held onto you, as you held him back. 
Tightly against your heart. 
This was the day Jason Todd realized something very important : He wasn’t alone anymore. He had parents who loved him, and he loved them back. 
So much. 
And they’d never let him go. Never. 
Years later, this love he had for you and Bruce, turned out to be the very reason he became “Red Hood”. 
From that day he told you : “you’re not my real mom !”, he felt like he belonged. Like finally, the people he loved loved him back. Like he was cherished. And then Bruce didn’t avenge him. He let Joker get away. And you let him do it. You, the people he trusted and loved most in the world, betrayed him...
He felt like he wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth Bruce breaking his one rule to avenge him. He wasn’t worth it...He didn’t matter enough. 
Jason felt so angry. For years. He wanted to hurt you, to hurt Bruce. To show you what it felt like. What HE felt like. 
But Jason has always been a strong one. You knew it. You told him enough times : “you’re a fighter, my Jason. You went through so much, and always came out of it. You lost a lot on the way my little one, but you never give up. You never give up...” 
You never give up. 
It’s what drove him to become the Red Hood. It’s what drove him over the edge. What gave him so much pain. 
Rather, the feeling of not being loved. The thought all you and Bruce said to him, about how much you cared and loved him, was a lie. 
Yes. The thought that you lied about loving him, is what broke him. What made him find every way possible to truly, truly hurt you two.
You never give up. 
He was so angry. But he never could quite give up on his family...that’s why he didn’t stay with the Al’ghuls. That why they didn’t keep him. 
He could never forget you and Bruce. Move on. 
He could never. 
Jason was a strong lad. Strong enough to see past his hate and need of revenge. His pain. His deep trauma. 
It took a while. But the change came from him. He’s the one that gave you another chance. And it allowed him to realize...nothing was a lie.
And you got your son back.
Because you showed him. You showed him nothing was a lie.
When his dad never gave up on him even as he killed more and more people, and even as Jason saw him completely erase people who used to be close from him as soon as they killed once. When you refused to let him go. When Bruce kept going back, even as he knew Jason would fight him and try to hurt him. When you pleaded with him, even when you knew his answer would be the same... 
Jason never gave up. 
But you didn’t either. 
“You’re not my mom”, are words he never meant. Not even once. Not even when he was the “old” Red Hood, the one that killed mercilessly any criminals, and that was trying to be exactly what Batman wasn’t. 
“You’re not my mom”, even at his worst, at a time he suffered greatly, Jason never meant it. He never did. 
And ultimately, it’s this filial love, and the love you and Bruce had for him, that brought him back out of the dark pit the Joker pushed him in...
Tim knew that his overly pragmatic mind sometimes could make him sound tactless. That he had trouble, sometimes, expressing himself properly. 
He knew that what he said, although it could be the factual truth, could be perceived as not being very nice... 
He knew, yet sometimes, he couldn’t help himself. 
“But you’re not my mom.” 
He told you that day, as you asked when was the “mother/child day” at school. 
Tim’s school had a day each year, during which every mother would come and do different activities with their kids. You did it with Dick and Jason, and it was always great fun, and amazing bonding time. 
By then, Tim had been with you and Bruce for over a year now. And he did, see you as his mom. However, he was a little too set, at the time, on rules and specifics. In the “mother/child day” rulebook, it “specifically” said that the actual child’s mother had to come, not the nanny or anyone else. 
In Tim’s mind, although he did see you as his mom, he thought the school wouldn’t. For him, the way the rules were written, were clearly stating his birth mother had to come. And the official adoption papers were not processed yet. Those took quite a while. 
He had been living with you for over a year. He called you and Bruce “mom and dad”. He truly considered you two his parents. But the official papers were not done quite yet. So to him, in the eye of the law (be it a silly school rule), you weren’t his mom quite yet. 
So when he said : “but you’re not my mom”, that’s what he meant. Of course, you misunderstood...
How could you guess that Tim was thinking that only his “birth mother” could take him, because officially right now he didn’t have a mom, just “guardians”...
His mother was dead. Has been dead for a while, now. And even if she wasn’t, Tim knew she’d never come at this event...She wasn’t the caring type of mother. Not like you. Which is why it really bummed him out that those rules were so clearly stated like that !
What Tim misunderstood, is that this specific rule had been added to the rulebook because many family would send their nanny, or a big sister, instead of the mom. Because Tim was of course in Gotham’s Academy, full of rich families, in which the moms were very busy...
Which is why such a day existed. Some kids spend quality times with their mom only on this school day. Nowadays, everyone made an effort to come (the fact you appeared, the famed (Y/N) Wayne, a few years back, with Dick, and it made all the papers’ headlines, might’ve influenced others to participate too).
To tell the truth, Tim was very disappointed that you couldn’t go with him, and was considering asking the principle of the school to do an exception to the rule and allow you to go with him.  
He was already fomenting a plan in his head to convince the headmaster to let you come as his mom, and as usual when he was planning things out, he completely disconnected from reality. 
And therefor, didn’t see how your face “closed”, and your eyes turned sad. The boy was typing away on his computer, as if nothing had just happened, as if you didn’t feel your world crumble as he flat out told you you weren’t his mom...
Of course, it was all a misunderstanding. He meant it as “officially”. Not about his actual feelings. 
For some reason, the way he said it so nonchalantly hurts you more than when Dick and Jason yelled at you that you “weren't their mom”. Because at least, in your eldests’ cases, you knew it was in the heat of the moment. 
That it was because they felt frustrated and sad. 
But Tim just told you : “But you’re not my mom.” matter of factly, and moved on. And it hurt. 
It hurt so much, because that boy...You loved that boy, of course. And considered him your son for sure. Part of your heart, now. Part of your family. And he felt so far, right far... 
You left the room and he didn’t even notice. 
Did he really not see you as his mom ? Was he just calling you “mom” to imitate his brothers ? ...You didn’t know, but it hurt. 
It hurt so much. 
You found Bruce in his office, doing some paperworks for Wayne Inc. When he saw your face, he immediately smiled, your presence lighting his whole world...But then he saw your expression, and he frowned. 
“What happened ?” 
“Mom ? MooOOooom ?” 
Tim had been looking for you for the past hour, but wasn’t able to find you. You weren't in all your favorite places ! Did you leave the Manor without telling him ? It was unlike you. 
Finally, he found you. You were in a room that was rarely used, but which was conveniently close to Bruce’s office, and had a couch. 
Laying on top of your husband, you were fast asleep as Bruce was going through his paperworks, letting you holding onto his waist as he kept working. 
When he saw the boy come in the room, he smiled at him. And it was hard, not to smile at Tim, seeing his own big wide smile. 
Tim was missing a few teeth, that fell not long ago, and it was absolutely the cutest, when he smiled widely. He looked so happy, eyes sparkly and genuine smile. It felt wrong to Bruce, to think that this sweet boy didn’t see you as his mom...
Maybe it was all a misunderstanding ? Wouldn’t be the first time. Although, Bruce knew how sometimes Tim could be brutally honest, and say the facts in a matter of factly way that could be very harsh on the uninitiated. 
Your son was holding a cardboard sheet almost as big as him, and looked very excited about something. He slowly approached you two, and said, whispering, yet the excitement was clear in his voice : 
“Has she been asleep for long, dad ?!” 
He called Bruce dad. Without an hesitation. And it felt so genuine. Like he was relishing in the word rolling off of his tongue. And it was often the case, with Tim. His parents, when they were still alive, never really noticed his presence... 
And sometimes, it could be even worst to have parents who acted as if you didn’t exist, than caring parents who passed away. Bruce realized this. 
“No, she just closed her eyes.” 
Bruce answers, looking at you. And oh he couldn’t possibly know how soft his expressions as as he gazed at your sleeping face. 
Tim was clearly disappointed. His shoulders fell down, and he looked on the floor, looking defeated.
“What is it, champ ?” 
“Well, I wanted her to-Oh ! Mom !” 
The rumbling of your husband’s chest as he spoke is what woke you up. Not the actual sound of their voices, just that low vibrations reverberating in his chest. 
You opened one eye, then the second, and was greeted by your youngest son’s face being very close to you. As Tim saw you were waking up, he kneeled down next to the couch, settling his piece of cardboard next to him, and approached you very closely. 
His smile and sweet expression filled your vision. And you felt even more hurt, as you saw him so happy to see you, to know he didn’t really think you were his mom. 
It was clear he cared for you. And loved you, and being with you. But to him...You weren’t his mom. And that was so painful. 
“I got a plan mom, I got a plan !” 
A...Plan ? For what ? You don’t even have time to ask him, and, still a little hazy as you just woke up from a short nap (that you took after crying exhausted you), you raise a little from your husband. 
You exchange a curious look with him, as you see Tim spring to his feet and get a hold of the piece of cardboard that is almost as tall and large as him. 
He turns it around and...
Your heart drops. 
It’s a lot of very detailed drawings, maps and words about...about...
“This is how we’re going to convince the headmaster of my school that you’re really my mom, even if officially you’re not yet !! I thought we could start with logic first, and then go down the path of pathos if he really doesn’t change his mind !” 
What ? Your brain is trying really hard to comprehend what’s happening, although it is starting to put two and two together. 
“The rules say that the mom HAS to be the one who comes, and the way they wrote it suggest that they wouldn’t accept someone who isn’t yet official. But I think we could convince that, in our heart, we’re already an official family, right ?!” 
Tim looks at you, and then at his dad, a little worry in his eyes (what if for them, he wasn’t their son yet because the paperworks weren’t finished and officials quite yet ?!?!). Bruce cannot help but smile, and nods, feeling his heart melt (a rare occurrence). 
And you. You have exactly the reaction he expected you’d have. You sit up, put the cardboard aside, and drag your son into a tight hug that makes him giggle and exclaim : 
“Hahaha mom wait I can’t breaaaathe !! Mom !!” 
But he hugs you back, knowing that this means yes, you do consider him your son already, paperworks or not, and you will probably follow his plan to convince the school to-
“Mom ? Why are you crying ? Mom ?” 
You can’t explain it to him. You feel silly, but also so emotional and touched. You thought he didn’t think of you as his mom. But he did. Oh he did, and was actually worried about technicalities of rules and...So sweet. That boy is so sweet. 
Carefully, Tim dries your tears, and look curiously at his dad, his eyes clearly asking : “Did I do something wrong ?”
You’re still unable to speak, as you hold onto him, and Bruce ruffles his son’s hair saying : 
“She’s just too happy, champ. She’s just too happy.” 
"You, not my mom !” 
She screamed. You never heard Cass raised her voice before. And yet, here, she screamed at you. And then closed her bedroom door right on your nose. 
And you felt it in your heart. That specific pain that you wished you’d never feel again. That kind of hurt you wished you’d never feel ever again. 
It happened just liked it did with Dick and Jason. You were “lecturing” her about putting herself in needless danger, and she felt frustrated at the fact you “didn’t trust her”. 
It wasn’t true of course. You did trust her. And you knew she could hold her own. Didn’t mean you wouldn’t worry, and scold her if she really scared you... 
It was pure instinct. You couldn’t stop yourself from telling them off when you felt they went too far. You did it with Bruce too. 
Once, he threw himself in the way of a bullet to save you, and once he recovered enough...Oh you were so mad at him. 
It’s not that you wanted to take that bullet, of course. You knew it was also instinct that made him move to save you. But in truth, you would rather take a thousand bullet than lose any of them. Bruce, or your children. 
And sometimes, it was hard for them to understand this. To get why you were so worried, when you accepted fully their night activities. 
Why you monitored the batcomputer, if it was to scold them when they put themselves in danger ? 
Ah but they didn’t understand that you only got “mad” when they put themselves in NEEDLESS danger. Pushing themselves too far that one night, being careless with something, ignoring their own safety to finish a task... 
You couldn’t help but be afraid. And your fear turned into you scolding them. And sometimes, on each sides, things boiled and...
“You, not my mom !” 
The meaning was clear. As Cass slammed her door right in your face, you knew not to push it further, not to tell her anything more. 
Maybe you should’ve ? Should’ve open her door, and continue lecturing her so she’d understand her life was valuable ? 
Cass put herself in danger more than any other member of your family, because she was raised as a weapon and thought of herself as an “expendable”. You weren’t mad at her for this, of course not (but oh, David Cain probably should never cross your path, it wasn’t pretty, when you were truly angry). 
You were just worried. And unfortunately, being a parent was complicated and sometimes, your worry turned a little overbearing for your kids. 
This was a mistake every normal caring parents made. Wanting what was best for their children, sometimes not realizing they’re going too far. And you ? Your family wasn’t normal. 
Your children were vigilantes. Your worries were tuned up to the max.  
Being a parent was hard. And sometimes, both you and your kids were frustrated. It happened. In any family. 
It was resolved rather fast, most of the time. A little conversation, understanding and indulgence, and boom. Sorted. 
However, there were times when things would go a little too far. Wether because one of you was tired, or didn’t feel well etc etc...
Tonight, was such a time. 
“You, not my mom !” 
Cass didn’t even register what she said. She was just mad and frustrated, and said the first thing that came into her mind. Her hand slammed the door shut before she could even think about it. 
And here you were. In the corridor. In front of your daughter’s door. 
Hurt. And feeling as devastated as you did when her brothers told you the same thing. You would think, after a few times of this happening, it’d be easier, right ? Well. No. It wasn’t. It really wasn’t. 
As usual in those instances, you went to seek comfort in the arms of your husband. 
Cassandra didn’t feel ok. 
In fact, she felt absolutely terrible. 
She couldn’t even remember the last time she felt that bad. 
When she went to look for you and apologize for her behavior, she found you in her dad’s arms, crying, and it made her run away...
She couldn’t face you, knowing she truly hurt you like that. 
The worst thing is, she knew she would hurt you by saying those words. Yet she still did it. It was as if she couldn’t control herself. It was like an ugly force took over her, and made her say those words. 
But she knew. She knew she’s the one who ultimately decided to say them. She’s the one that pronounced them. Under the anger. 
The ugly force. 
She turned around in her bed, holding onto the plush toy you gave her shortly after her arrival. You said “every child should have one” and that this one made you think of her. 
It was a fox with bright colors. And it still smelled like you. 
She was about to fall asleep, when she heard a knock on her door. 
“Can we come in ?” 
It was her older brothers. 
Dick, Jason and Tim. 
It was rare, to have them all in the same place nowadays, what with how busy they all were. Dick with Bludhäven, Jason with the gods only knew what really (the gods, and you and Bruce...but sshhh, that’s a secret), and Tim with college applications. 
So Cass immediately understood that they heard about the fight she had with their mom. 
And she felt a rush of shame come over her. She felt sad too, because maybe they’d be mad at her ?
Cassandra didn’t think she could bear to break your heart, and have her precious brothers mad at her all in the same day. 
She almost told them to leave. But she didn’t have the strength. 
They surrounded her, and their presence was so...soothing. 
And then they spoke. They each told her the story of the time they told their mom those few dreaded words. 
“You’re not my real mom !” 
They told her how awful they felt, and how they knew they hurt their mom. They told her that...well, they did have the best mom ever. 
You never held any grudge. Ever. Especially not against your own family. 
You never even mentioned again the fact they told you this awful thing, you never even mentioned once this, under any circumstances. 
Her brothers stayed with her for hours, talking about their feelings on the matter. Telling her it happened. That everyone wasn’t always on their best behavior...
It was hard, for Cass, to not be “good”. She did so many awful things when her biological father raised her to be a weapon, she felt like she had to catch up so much on those years of “badness”. 
She often felt like she was evil, and could never caught up to everything. Like she was doomed, and could never become good. 
On that, Jason told her she was wrong. That everyone could change, and no one was born truly evil. Environment, and the way you’re raised, matter. And what she did...wasn’t her fault. She was forced to. If she really enjoyed doing this she’d never become a Batgirl. She would never be part of this family. 
She often felt like she was a bad daughter. 
On that, Dick told her she was wrong. He too, felt like a bad son, when he “replaced” his parents with you and Bruce. He too, felt like a bad son when he would get so mad while you would do anything to make him happy. He too, felt like a bad son...on so many occasions. But he grew. And thanks to you mainly, he realized he was just human. Mistakes are human. And it’s not being a bad son, to sometimes feel so hurt that you lash out. That your trauma are so strong, things sometimes are tough. 
She often felt like she couldn’t fit in, and would never fit in. 
On that, Tim told her she was wrong. Him too, felt too different. He already had parents, they were alive, he just wanted to help, he didn’t have any friends...But in this family. In this family, everyone fitted in. Because you made it so. Bruce made it saw. You both accepted any flaws, and differences your kids might have. You loved them unconditionally, they all knew that by now. 
And Cass...Cass didn’t want to hurt you. 
They knew that, too.
It was an accident. In the heat of the moment. She didn’t mean it. Of course, you are her mom. Of course...
It felt good, to have her brothers there for her, when you couldn’t be. 
Later that night, after her brothers left, Cass slowly exits her room and take the known way to yours and Bruce’s. 
You are both there, and she knows her dad stayed because you felt bad. He always stayed with you, when you were feeling down. And vice versa.
Cass always told herself that, later, if she ever found a significant other, she’d want her and them to have the same kind of relationships than you. You and Bruce set up a rather high standard for whoever would come into her life. 
But that was another story. For now, she was opening the door slowly, scared of waking you up. But you were awake. 
Bruce was asleep, deeply. As usual when he felt your warmth against him. But you were not. Cass could see you slowly and absentmindedly caress your husband’s hair. It was soothing to both of you. His silky smooth dark hair were soft in between your fingers, and helped you get your mind off of the pain and focus on the sensation, while for him...Well, it put him asleep, when you did that. 
The door creaked a little, and you abruptly turned your head towards it, ready to fight and...You instantly recognize your daughter, even in the dark of the room. 
She doesn’t need to talk. You manage to roll over Bruce, who then by instinct roll too, and therefor you create a little spot for your daughter to climb in bed with you. 
You turn around in Bruce’s arms, and slowly wrap them around your middle, instead of your shoulders. You turn towards Cass, your back against Bruce’s chest, and tap the small spot you managed to create next to you. 
Cass understands, and climbs in, facing you. She lays her head on her arms, as you do the same. And then she mouthes : 
“Sorry mom...” 
And that’s all you needed. You gesture for your daughter to cuddle up close, and she does. By instinct, Bruce lets go one arm off of you, and grabs his kid to bring her closer. He is still asleep, but it wouldn’t surprise anyone that his subconscious holds onto the two most important women in his life like so. 
And there she is. Cass feels safe. And warm. And she hears your heart beat softly. And she knows it partly beats for her. 
And partly for Bruce. And partly for Dick. And partly for Jason. And Tim. And Damian. And Duke. And Alfred. 
It beats for your family. 
For her family.
She has a family. 
And you are her mom. 
Her biological father never hugged her, never told her everything was going to be alright, never... 
Cass never felt safe and warm. 
Like she did, right now, held by both you and Bruce. 
She whispers, as she slowly falls asleep. And you’re the only mom she ever wants to have. You are, her real mom. Always have been, always will be. 
Damian didn’t really think this was a big deal, at first. 
Just like his father, he often made the mistake to think that people around him will simply understand his true meaning. 
When he told you : “You’re not even my real mom !”, he obviously didn’t mean it. He was angry because you told him he couldn’t go out on patrol for a few days, as he was grounded for skipping school and going to work on cases instead. 
“But school is boring, I already know everything ??” 
“It’s the principle of it, Damian. You can’t just do what you want whenever you want, this is not how it works. I don’t feel like we’re extremely strict parents, so when you betray our trusts like that, it has consequences.”
Bruce kept out of the argument, ready to jump in however if you needed him to affirm  that yes, actions have consequences and although you two are pretty lax with your son on many fronts, he still has to listen. You and Bruce made clear rules when you first adopted Dick, because you realized your lifestyle was anything but normal, but it didn’t mean your children could just do anything they wanted. 
Neither of you wanted them to turn into privileged little brats. Or to think they were above everything. And you were right, by skipping school so much, and lying about it, Damian did betray your trust. 
Understanding actions had consequences was a big step that took a while, with Damian. Unfortunately, he grew up in an environment that indeed taught him he could do whatever he wanted, no matter if he hurt people on the way... 
Unlearning all this, was tough. And you understood that. Which is why you let things go a lot, with him, and only slowly told him about things. Gradually teaching him about your values and principles. 
However sometimes, like in this case, you needed to be firm and strict, because otherwise he’d just keep doing it knowing it had no bad consequences, and you didn’t want him to simply not go to school anymore...School was important for his social development, you realized it as he made friends and...
And simply, an eleven years old kid couldn’t just roam around all day as he saw fit. That’s it. And so here you were, trying to explain this to him. And that’s when he said it. 
He scrunched up his nose like he always did when he was angry, and then, turning his head away from you, throwing his Robin boots at the back of the cave. 
“You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not even my real mom !” 
And then he bolted out of the Batcave, leaving you behind, with a broken heart and feeling guilty...What if he hates you, because you were too harsh on him ? 
Bruce, that night, did not go out on patrol either, and stayed with you. Of course, he did. 
The fact he still listened to you and didn’t go out, made him thought you knew he was just angry and didn’t mean a word of it. 
To him, it was so obvious he thought of you as his mom, and that he said this just because he wanted to have the last word, that he honestly didn’t think much of it. 
Sure he was frustrated and angry, just like any kid was when their parents said : “no” to them. But he didn't mean it... 
He didn’t really see you of the entire day. Finally, he decided to go see his father to ask him what was up. 
“Father ?”
“Yes ?”
“Is-is mom ok ?”
“Well, what do you think ?” 
“She doesn’t seem ok.” 
“Do you know why ?” 
“Did you do something to upset her ?” 
Normally, Bruce would feel vex at this statement. What, did he really do things to upset you that often ? Yes and now. Sometimes,  he would get on your nerve, and vice versa. It happened, in relationships.
But it was never anything major. Not anymore at least. Because now, when he had his “dark days” and could be a total jerk, you knew how to handle him. You knew not to take his bullshit. 
Yes. Normally, Bruce would pout like a child, at the fact his son thought that his mom was feeling down because of him. But not today. No. 
Because he knew that what made you sad, was something important.
Unfortunately, Damian inherited from him his bad habit of thinking others will understand his meaning. 
Like, when he tried to push you away at first so you wouldn't get involved in his crazy life, what he really wanted was for you to get closer...Or when he told you that he was fine at times, all he wanted was for you to hold him and take care of him etc etc...The first time he told you “I love you”, wasn’t with words, but by not going on patrol one night, to stay with you. And he thought you’d immediately understand that he truly loved you...Truth was, it wasn’t as obvious to you (or anyone really) than it was for him. 
And Damian had the same problem. Doing things that he thought would obviously tell his meaning, his real feelings, when really...No one but him would get it. 
Although you became quite good at deciphering your husband’s true intentions, you could still misinterpret things sometimes. 
And yesterday night, when you grounded your son and tried to teach him a life lesson...You definitely didn’t see that he didn’t mean what he said and just wanted the last word. For you, he was seriously meaning it. And that’s why you were avoiding him a little, because it was too hard 
Damian’s words truly hurt you. You often were scared he could never see you as his mom (even if he did call you mom now and clearly cared for you) because of how he grew up. You’d never give up on him, of course, but it didn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt when he pushed you away or pretended to not care... 
Damian thought it was obvious, that his actions actually reflected how much you meant to him. That without you, he’d be lost and honestly wouldn’t want to live in a world where you weren’t. 
But it wasn’t obvious. 
Bruce sighed, and then smiled : 
“Since when is she acting odd ?” 
“This morning. She didn’t kiss me goodbye when she went to work !”
It felt like such a serious issue to your boy, in that instant, that Bruce wished you were there to see his reaction. You’d instantly know he didn’t mean it, when he said you weren’t his mom... 
But you couldn’t quite face him. You didn’t really avoid him or try to hurt him by not saying goodbye. Of course not, you were an adult, and you definitely knew that doing to others what was done to you is pointless, and mean. And why hurt someone the same way they hurt you ? You’re no better than them uh... 
“Can you think of anything that might’ve upset her ?” 
“I spilled my milk a little, but cleaned it after. I didn’t let Alfred do it like last time. I woke up a minute late, too. Jason hasn’t called in two days, but he was there yesterday afternoon. Dick said she messed up her pumpkin soup but he was just joking and she knows. Tim fell asleep at the breakfast table. You clinging to her this morning apparently made her late, I heard Alfred say it. Um...Cass um...Cass didn’t do anything bad really...None of those things sound like it would upset her though ! She really looked sad this morning, not like herself at all !” 
Bruce couldn’t help but smile. It was pretty cute, how Damian often acted as if he didn’t care about anything, yet no details would ever go past him. Especially not when it came to his family. He always noticed, when one of them felt down in any way, and tried to help (in his own way). 
Hell, he probably woke Tim up and told him to sleep more and take care of himself. Called Jason and told him to call his mom. Scolded Dick to not make this kind of jokes again. 
This was just the Damian that was privy only to them. A sweet child, who unfortunately often had trouble expressing his true feelings. 
Just like his father. 
Damian would often brag about his siblings, and how awesome they were, to his friends (notably to Jon, who didn’t have any siblings). But he’d never tell them right in front of their face. 
Bruce tried to help Damian see what was wrong, and said : 
“What about last night ?” 
“Ugh ? What about last n-OH !” 
Damian replayed the events in his head, and remembered his anger and frustration. But most importantly...What he told his mom. 
“I have to find mom ! Where is she ?!” 
Damian looked absolutely panicked, which was quite unlike him. Bruce answered : 
“She’s at work, she had a meeting with her editor. She should be back soon, though.” 
And on that note, Damian ran out to do god knew what, as Bruce shook his head and...Well, he just knew things would turn out alright. 
Alfred almost fainted, when he saw Damian tear off his beautiful flowers from his garden. He almost ran out, and had a very “get off my lawn !” moment...up until he realized that the boy was probably doing this for a reason. 
Oh. Oh his poor lilies.  
Hopefully, this really was for a good reason. A very good one. One so good, that it would stop him from strangling his grandkid, hopefully...
When you came home, Damian was waiting for you at the front door. He had a bunch of lilies in his hands (that you were pretty sure were from Alfred’s precious garden) and he looked absolutely frantic. 
He ran to you, almost threw the flowers in your arms, and yelled : 
You were a little confused as to why he was yelling, but before you could continue he took a drawing out of his pocket and added : 
Still confused as to why he was screaming, you bend down to look at him eye level, settled the flowers on the floor, and said : 
“It’s ok Damian. It’s ok. We all get frustrated sometimes...I won’t lie and say it didn’t hurt, but it’s ok. It happens.” 
Damian’s face showed great relief, and he leaped into your arms, yelling : 
“I LOVE YOU !!” 
You winced as he screamed in your ear, and said : 
“Why are you yelling, little one ?” 
Damian took a step back from you and said : 
Damian told you he loved you before, in certain moments. When he got really hurt, when you were really hurt, if he felt really sad...It was always a moment full of emotions. And it was still rather hard for him to say the words. 
It didn’t really surprise you that Jason would have such a technique. Yelling his feelings. Yep. Sounds like him alright. And it did seem like it worked for his little brother too. 
Only you and your close family would know, because you were the only ones to truly know him, but those two were more similar than others would think. And it wasn’t because they already killed before. Oh no. On the contrary. 
“I love you too, my little one...” 
You say, as he goes back for another hug, clearly relieved you’re not mad at him. From this day on, he swore to himself that he would really try to tell others’ what he truly felt, even if it meant yelling it at them. Because other wise...otherwise it’d create this sort of terrible situations, in which his mom thought he didn’t think of her as his mom ! 
He couldn’t have it, anymore. Many “I LOVE YOU !!” were heard in the Manor, from that point on. 
“You know you can tell me anything, right ?” 
Duke doesn’t know why this time, this made him snap. 
Today was the anniversary of when his parents got “jokerize”, it had been two years already...And not one step closer to cure them ! He was so frustrated, sad, and lost. And you noticed. 
Duke tend to try to keep things inside. Not that he didn’t want to bother anyone, more like he just thought he HAD to handle things himself. Like it would make him stronger, and therefor, he could protect those he cares about. 
He could protect them, unlike when he could do nothing but watch as his parents fell into madness...He couldn’t bear the thought of this happening to you, Bruce, or any member of this family ! Not again. 
He couldn’t bear it...
“You’re not even my mom ! Stop acting like you are !” 
Are the words he heard himself scream at you as you asked him if everything was ok, and if he needed to talk. As you were caring, once again, and he just couldn’t...he couldn’t stand it ! Not today.
Not today. 
He immediately saw on your face the way you shut down, and took one step behind. The way your face “closed”, and as you said : “I understand.” and left the room, your body stiff and your face inexpressive (which was very unlike you), Duke felt it. 
The guilt. 
Right away.
When those dreaded words were said by all your other kids, they were young. They were all under the age of ten, and the immediate consequences of their actions didn’t truly registered. 
But Duke. 
Duke was almost eighteen. And he knew. He knew he hurt you. 
He felt the need to run after you and apologized, but there was something stopping him. 
After all, it was true right, you weren’t his mom ! His mom was still alive, and she could be cured one day ! HE ALREADY HAVE A MOM ! 
So what if you always cooked him his favorite meal, or knew exactly what his favorite food was ? So what if you would go out of your way to grab his favorite burger from his favorite joints when you knew he felt down ? 
So what, if you were always there when he was sad ? Cheering him up with comfort food, kind words, and just your presence ? 
So what if you knew exactly what would make him feel better, which movie to put on to put a smile on his face ? 
So what, if you spend entire night right by his bedside when he got really hurt, or when he was sick ? 
So what if you’d listen to him at any time of the day or night, and always took time to give him your thoughts on the matter, and truly, truly listen to what he was saying instead of waiting for your turn to speak ? 
So what if you’d make him laugh, smile, feel loved, even as he felt so alone and isolated, especially after he discovered his powers ? 
So what if you never made him feel like he was different because of it ? 
So what if you opened your house’s door without a second thought for this unknown teenager who was also a meta ?!
So what if you obviously cared a lot, and if you...if you... 
He already had a mom. And she might get better one day. 
He couldn’t have two moms. 
Right ? 
What would happen when his parents would be cured ? Forget all his feelings for the Waynes ? So it’d be easier to pretend he wasn’t part of the family, right ? 
It would be easier. 
But it was too late. 
It was too late... 
He ran after you. Caught up with you in the corridor. Tears in his eyes, he said : 
“I’m sorry, please don’t go...”
And fell into your arms. Almost eighteen years old, yes, but still needed the support of a mother. Of his mother. 
And you were there. You’d always be there, no matter what happened in the future. And he needed you, especially in that moment of frustration, where he really missed his parents, and was starting to lose hope to ever find a cure... 
And you were there.
Who ever made a rule that you could have only one mom anyway, right ?
They did tell him “you’re not my dad !” too. And for him, it was as terrible as for you. If not worst, on certain aspect. Especially since he had a hard times truly expressing his feelings more often than not. 
He knows how devastating it can feel. He knows it even more, because not only did he feel it as they told him “you’re not my dad !”, but he also felt it as he told Alfred “you’re not my dad !”. He knew the feelings from both sides. 
It enhanced everything. 
Of course, in general, Bruce always felt things more than anyone else around him. He was born like that. Hypersensitive. That’s why he worked so much on hiding his true feelings, and appearing detached and cold. 
It’s much easier, than to always being overemotional. Of course, it didn’t mean he felt nothing. On the contrary, he felt everything. He was just better, nowadays, at pretending he was okay. At pretending he didn’t care. 
Ah. But you existed. 
The only person that could always see through his bullshit, and know when he was lying and fake smiling. 
Between the two of you, there has always been something. Even before you were together. It was an irrational and irresistible attraction. 
An unbreakable bond. Always supporting each others. 
You have no idea how you’d live without him. And he couldn’t even fathom a world without you. It’s a world he wouldn’t like very much...  
Even during the worst times, and oh you went through a lot together, you knew at least you’d have warm arms to fall asleep in. At least, you’d have each others. 
Bruce had known pain so strong he sometimes wished death would just take him away. And then you came in. Ready to put up with his shit, and to not give up on him even when he gave you every reason to. 
And oh, oh he gave you back everything times a thousand. You knew he’d never let you fall. Not alone. 
Whenever something hurtful as your children telling you two you weren’t their real parents happened...It’s when you truly realized how vital you were to each others. 
When you fell, Bruce was there to catch you. 
When he fell, you were there to catch him. 
Better to fall together, than to stand alone. 
And here we are :). I hope you liked it ? Don’t hesitate to leave a little feedback and reblog if you want to ^^. I’m a little afraid I disappointed y’all for some reasons haha. I couldn’t explain. Self-confidence crisis hahaha. I finished writing that late, and exhausted after a hard week, maybe it plays into account ? Anyway, I really do hope you enjoyed your time reading this :). And thanks for reading, of course ^^. 
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batfam-imagines · 10 months ago
Things Batmom has Definitely Said
“Richard, if you break another chandelier I won’t save you from Alfred”
“Dick, baby, please stop asking Alexa to blast Britney Spears, I already have a headache ... I don’t care if your brother have pissed you off, you’re pissing me off“
“Why did you pull out the Discowing costume? ... Because your brothers said you wouldn’t fit in it? ... And now you’re stuck, of course. Don’t worry I’ll get you out“
“Jay, sweetheart, we’ve talked about this. Just because he insulted you, doesn’t mean you can steal Damian’s pets”
“I need you to stop taking ALL the tires in the house, Jay. I can’t escape if none of the vehicles have wheels”
“What did Bruce say to you? ... Of course I’ll help you spray paint the Batmobile pink, he was being as asshole”
“No, you can’t put redbull in the coffee maker. I’m pretty sure people have died that way”
“Did you really ask for 5 shots of espresso in your coffee? ... You know what, I’ll take the same”
“Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne, stop hacking into your brothers computers, you don’t need to know what they’re buying on Amazon”
“It's okay that you only love your Father. I love you anyway.”
“For the last time, you can’t drive. I’ll get arrested.”
“That is a bat to play baseball with. It is not a weapon!"
“Damian, if your mother shows up one more time trying to kill you, she’s going to be the one dead. No one touches my babies”
“I understand you need a place to practice your ballet, but the roof is not the place for that”
“Darling child, please make some noise! You’re going to give me a heartattack! Is that what you want?! To kill me?! Don’t laugh!”
“Just because you’re using sign-language doesn’t mean I can’t feel the attitude from here, everyone needs a break from Patrol, even you, Cassandra.”
“No I don’t think you should dye your hair to match everyone else, blonde is beautiful.”
“Steph, please stop eating all of Dick’s cereal, we can get you your own ... I’m well aware you’re doing it on purpose, but if I have to listen to him complain one more time I’ll cry”
“Don’t worry, I won’t let Bruce kick you out, even though you have your own apartment”
Bonus - Bruce:
“Husband-of-Mine, if you drive Jason away again I hope you know I’ll make your life a living hell until you make-up”
“Your sons ... They’re always your sons when they’re in trouble”
“You can’t keep telling the boys that if they don’t behave they can’t have any of Alfred’s cookies ... I know it works, but you know Alfred would never deny his grandchildren cookies”
“No, I have no idea who painted the Batmobile pink ... Maybe if was a punishment, maybe you should think about that before being mean to our children, Bruce”
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ravcns · a month ago
My God I’m so Lonely
Batfam x batsis!reader
note: y/n- your name and maybe inspired by a mitski song 🤔
summary: reader who feels as if they don’t fit in with the rest of the family due to not being a crime fighter
The walls were suffocating, It seemed almost as if you could never really get out you felt trapped. Nobody was around for the most part it seemed, in reality the family were in their own world of crime fighting and their respective teams. There was a drastic change between your old life and now at first you were fascinated by the manor and it’s size, not having been used to it. Now it’s the same routine get up, go through the day, shower, sleep, repeat. If you were lucky enough on weekdays almost the whole family ate breakfast, they would talk about cases but being there with them would be enough to stop you from losing it.
Sometimes you thought maybe you did want too much after all your family is gotham’s heroes. So when your birthday rolled around the first time you did not blame them, but then it continued to happen. Alfred used to bake your favorite cake but eventually you told him to stop. So when the time came a conversation took place.
“Are you sure that you don’t want anything miss y/n?”
“Thank you Al, but I don’t want your pity.”
The older man gave up his strained smile having seen the damage holidays have done. Alfred used to plead with Bruce and everyone in the bat cave to show up for you, eventually he gave up seeing no change.
“Well what do you want I can go pick it up.”
“I just want somebody near me.”
Your voice broke and the tears that you usually did a good job keeping at bay on this day burst through. The night was spent in the kitchen baking Alfred’s famous cookies and when you left to sleep, he let his own tears fall.
Sixteen, it was your sixteenth birthday that night and now you were eighteen and graduating hoping the family would show up. League mission all hands on deck, Bruce would not be showing. The titans had a run in with Slade, Tim and Dick were out. You looked in the crowd disappointed but not surprised. After shaking hands and looking into the crowd for pictures a genuine smile graced your features. Alfred stood with flowers in his hand and someone with a white tuft of hair in front, Jason. Having been out with the outlaws and not seeing eye to eye with Bruce he was never around much, but he showed up for you.
All your belongings were packed and since nobody paid attention either way you were able to load them into your car outside the manor. Looking up at the place you once viewed as a castle in a type of fantasy where the princess and prince would share one good movie kiss. Now you knew that it only happened in the movies where things went well. After the last look and sliding into your car to drive away you come to a realization. To yourself it seemed that you were dammed to spend every aching moment alone, with nobody.
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incorrectbatfcm · 16 days ago
Alfred: Please tell me you did not kidnap him, Master Bruce?
Bruce, carrying Duke: I did not kidnap him
Alfred: Oh thank goodness
Bruce: I adopted him
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rynne311 · 4 months ago
The Gun
Summary:  There are far too many ways for the meet the family date to go wrong, especially when there are lost guns and misunderstandings involved.
Word Count: 1136
You had desperately wanted to make a good impression.  You'd never really made it to the 'meet the family' phase of the relationship before and you didn't want to mess this up.  It was intimidating enough sitting in the expansive drawing room with all eyes on you.  The idea that just by opening your mouth you'd probably end up putting your foot in there was daunting.
Dinner had seemed to go well enough.  None of the potential fights Jason had warned you about had actually happened, which you couldn't tell if that was a good sign or not.  If they had fully welcomed you into the family, they would let their guard down and let stupid fights break out, but you tried to remind yourself that this was only a first meeting and that evenuality would come along before you knew it.  
You didn't have time to over think it before your phone started ringing, and knowing that work didn't call unless it was important, you excused yourself from the room to answer.  Jason studied your face as you excused yourself, trying to gauge if this was going to be a 'we get to leave' kind of work call.
"What do you mean you lost the gun?" You questioned as you rounded the corner out of the doorway.
"And you're sure someone didn't just leave it on a shelf?"  Your voice carried no matter how much you tried to hush.
Jason could sense Bruce's eyes narrowing in your direction. It didn't take much for him to know what the man was thinking.  Jason had already heard enough of it with his own track record.  
"You're just going to bring someone here who apparently has such a blasé attitude about deadly weapons that they appear to be routinely left around for anyone to find and discharge," Bruce lectured.  "It's bad enough that you disregard my feelings on the matter, but it is another thing entirely to bring strangers here who obviously do the same thing."
It seemed the writing was on the wall, and judgements already made.  He was disappointed, but not surprised.  The night had gone far too well, and it was only fitting in his mind that Bruce would take something good in his life and twist it into something terrible.
"And you wonder why I've been in this relationship for well over two years, and this is only the first time I've brought Y/N here. So definitely not just a stranger," Jason countered.  He could feel the anger rising, and as much as he was trying to keep things relatively sane in the manor for your visit, he couldn't help as his voice kept growing. "You just love to take things out of context and villainize them, especially if it has anything to do with me and anything I love. I mean, c'mon Bruce, you really live to the expectation on this, I just can't tell if it's living up to it or down to it."
Jason's bellowing had you abruptly hanging up the phone running back into the drawing room.  You'd only seen him this angry a couple of times, but this time was different, you could see the pain it was stemming from standing right in front of him.  There was always a distance to it, something he only had to prove to and remind himself, but this time was different.  This time the manifestation of his personal shortcomings stood chest to chest to him in icy judgement.
"I think there may have been a misunderstanding," you hurried to begin to explain. Your voice grew progressively more stern, more protective. "I manage a store, and sometimes I or some of my associates accidentally leave our scanner gun on a shelf while changing stock around or checking inventory.  I make sure the entire store takes safety very seriously."
Jason knew what was going to happen next if he didn't intervene.  It was a self-fulfilling prophecy he supposed.  He had warned you of the high probability of a fight breaking out during your visit, but he had been sure it would have been between his brothers, not you going toe to toe with Bruce.  Without interrupting you, he started guiding you to the door.  His hands on your shoulders only served to embolden you.
"You should know part of the reason I wanted to come here and meet you tonight was to thank you for the generous Wayne Foundation scholarship I was awarded for college. I only got through two years before my mom got sick, and because it was just the two of us, I left school and started working in a store, the one I manage now, to help keep everything going. But yes, thank you for the opportunity, however ultimately unfulfilled it may be."  You couldn't veil the sarcasm in your voice anymore.  If you were to be judged, you were going to play into it.  You weren't necessarily proud that you were willing to stoop that low, but here you were taking satisfaction in the way Bruce's face fell slack as you got the last word in.
It was quiet as the car passed through the long driveway from the manor back to the main road.  You both needed to cool off and put some distance between yourselves and the house before breaking the silence.  You were more than a little surprised to look over to the driver's seat and see that Jason wasn't brooding. 
"He's probably still standing there dumbfounded," he speculated in awe. "Nobody ever has the nerve to stand up to him like that."
"You were holding your own when I walked back in," you countered.
"Okay, no one who hasn't had to endure living with him has ever had the nerve to stand up to him like that," he corrected himself.  "Once he's over the shock, he's going to respect the hell out of you.  You might even end up with a job offer."
You didn't hide the small smile as you turned to watch the passing streetlights.  It had been a long time since you had impressed someone like that, or at least a long time since you felt that you impressed someone, Jason is the first to tell you how you impress him every day.  You glanced back to him and rebutted, "I actually like my job. There's no way I'm leaving just because I made a rich man feel like an ass."
"I know all of that, and that's what'll make you turning it down so much better," he mused.
You didn't miss how he chuckled and smiled to himself at the thought.  There was a complicated relationship there you only hoped to one day understand. In the meantime, you had no doubt you and Jason could be enough for each other. 
Tag List: Everything: @societiesholyskittle @pickyblue12 @icycoldbeanieweanies @thoughtfullychaoticdreamer @bloatedandlonly @sakurafille @jason-todd-squad @childofposeidonforlife @webcraft4eveh @bookish-and-shy @dnarez @thirstiestpotato
Jason: @jason-todd-rh @princessowly1234 @manymanyenvelopes @drarrylov3r @axa-vega 
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rick-rayson · 8 months ago
Damian: I see you
Batfamily whilst on patrol: which one of us?
Damian: the one in desperate need of getting beaten with a crowbar.
The rest of the Batfamily: ...
Damian: again.
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sky-berrie · 6 months ago
Stitch - Damian
Summary: Another favorite trope - reader patches up a wound. Warning: mentions of blood. 
The window opened behind you and you felt a cool summer night breeze brush against your neck. You didn’t bother to give the intruder any attention because you knew that Damian was the only person who could disarm the alarm and crack lock mechanism with ease. You thought the whole system was overkill but it pleased Damian to have it installed so you didn’t complain.
“Hey, Damian,” you greeted him robotically with your gaze still transfixed to your laptop screen and your back to the window. You were watching the events of the latest episode of your favorite show unfold.
You heard Damian land in your room with a grunt. He was usually quite graceful, however you guessed that his ribs and hip were still sore from the last sparing session he had with his brothers and sisters. That family took everything to a whole other level.
You heard Damian shut the window after himself. The sound of the latch being secured came next. Then you heard electronic beeps as he reactivated the alarm. “You –” he let out a sharp exhale. “You took home economics, right?”
“Yeah,” you replied, nonchalantly with a mouthful of popcorn. You didn’t take your eyes off the screen, but you heard the sound of his heavy boots carry him across your room.
“Good,” he said. A shaky breath infiltrated his normally self-assured voice. “And you remember most of it?” The bed springs creaked under his weight.
“Uh, yeah, I guess so.”
“Great,” he said. “What grade did you receive?” This wasn’t all that out of character for him. Damian was competitive in all aspects of his life. You wouldn’t be surprised if he wanted to compare home economics grades just so he could vaunt his skills.
“I don’t know, Damian,” you said honestly. You turned up the volume, hoping that Damian would get the hint that you wanted to watch your show in peace and quiet. “I think it was a good mark.”
Damian let out a heavy sigh of relief. “Excellent.” His voice sounded less troubled than before.
“Jon did most of my assignments,” you admitted unapologetically.
Damian was quiet for a moment. “Okay, but you attended the classes, correct?”
You didn’t answer right away. You were too focused on the climax of the episode. “Oh my goodness,” you muttered under your breath to yourself as the plot twist unveiled. “Um,” you said, remembering that Damian had asked you something. “Yeah, yeah, more or less.”
“Do you remember how to sew?”
“Sort of,” you told him. You had sewn on a button once. It didn’t look great, but it definitely wasn’t going anywhere.
“Well enough,” he said. “I need you to suture a laceration.”
“What?” you choked out. He said it so nonchalantly that you weren’t sure if he was serious or not, because a sane person would not be so stoic. You whipped around to find Damian lying on your bed in his Robin uniform. It was soiled with a layer of black, like he had been charred. It was so dark that it masked the staining of his blood and you wouldn’t have known he was bleeding if it weren’t for the pool of red soaking through your white comforter. He was holding his side with his hands at an awkward angle.
You had seen him with cuts and bruises and even broken bones, but never with the life bleeding out of him. “Oh my goodness!” you shrieked as panic filled your lungs. Your face contorted into a horrified grimace as you tried to stifle an expression of disgust. The strong stench of metal made your stomach churn and your head woozy.
You immediately felt horrible for not paying attention to him sooner. “Damian, why didn’t you say something? Holy crap! What the hell happened? You need an ambulance!” You turned around to reach for your phone.
“No,” Damian choked out. “Secret… identity,” he said with his eyes squeezed shut.
“What about your brothers and sisters? Your dad? Alfred?”
“On their way. No time to wait. First aid kit,” he implored weakly.
You ran for the bathroom and tore into the cabinet to find the massive first aid kit that Damian insisted you store. You had opened it once or twice to grab a bandage for a paper cut but you never touched the majority of the contents. You didn’t even know what half of the kit was for. You guessed that you might find out today.
When you returned to your room, Damian was moving slowly to unbutton his uniform. You helped him with the rest, trying to do it quickly without jostling anything. You tried to ignore the squishy wetness of the uniform, but your hands came away covered in a layer of crimson blood. Beneath the outer coat, his white undershirt was seeping with blood. There was a large tear in the fabric and a bit of the raw wound peeked through.  
You didn’t have a fear of blood, really. You had no qualms about donating blood or seeing it on TV. This, however, was completely different. You were more terrified than you had ever been in your entire life. You had no idea what to do - everything you knew about CPR and standard first aid had inexplicably disappeared from your brain. Silent tears began to spill from your eyes as your breaths tore in and out of your throat, ragged and shallow.
“Y/N,” said Damian, firmly. Through your blurry, wet vision, you could see him straining to make eye contact with you. “Breathe. Everything is going to be fine. Just follow my instructions.”
Normally you trusted Damian, but this time his reassuring words didn’t have any kind of soothing effect on you. Your whole body was shaking now. You couldn’t find your voice. Instead, you shook your head.
“Yes, Y/N. It is going to be fine, but you must listen to me. Do you understand?”
You tried to take a deep breath, but an uncontrollable sob cut it short. If Damian could lie there halfway to death and still be composed, then you could at least pretend to be calm for his sake. You nodded your head this time, trying your best to even out your breathing. It was no use though. You couldn’t remember how to breathe.
“Thank you. Cut it,” he said, motioning to his undershirt.
You did as he ordered and cut a line right down the centre of his shirt. It was warm and wet and clung to his skin, so you peeled it off to reveal the full extent of a nasty looking wound. Even through your distorted, teary vision, you saw enough to know it was not good.
You felt faint at the sight of his insides. Or maybe it was your hyperventilating making you dizzy.  
“Breathe, Y/N. Breathe and then get the sterile solution to irrigate it.”
You returned with freshly washed hands, a pair of gloves and a jug of irrigation solution. Following his instructions, you squeezed the syringe and expelled the liquid over his wound. It ran down his side and carried even more blood into your comforter.
“Okay,” he breathed out. “There should be a small white packet with a curved need and thread and a pair of suture holders. They look like scissors but without the blades.”
Your trembling hands had a difficult time picking out the items. Once you collected the materials, you looked at Damian for further directions.
“It’s a bit deep so you’ll need to close the layer under the skin first. Can you see it?”
You shook your head. His side was a giant red mess. You couldn’t make out anything except for blood and jagged skin. It was nothing like the clean and clear-cut diagrams you’d seen in class. “This is crazy! I can’t do this,” you cried. People spent years studying and training to do procedures like this. Stitching up a body was not something that a person should wing, and definitely not on their best friend, lying in an unsterile room.
“You can,” he assured you. “Pretend like you’re sewing some fabric. Start with this layer here.” Damian pulled at his skin and pointed to the inside with a pair of suture forceps. You couldn’t help but turn away and shut your eyes as he prodded himself. “Y/N,” he called your attention back. “Make sure the needle goes in like this and comes out like this,” said Damian as he demonstrated.
You were shaking your head. “You are absolutely insane! Sewing fabric is nothing like sewing a wound! Can’t we just wait for your dad or someone?”
“No time,” he said.
“Please, Damian,” you begged. “Let me call EMS.”
“No,” he asserted with what little strength he had.
“Please! I…”
“No,” he repeated. You could tell his patience was wearing thin.
“I understand you have to protect your secret identity, but Damian, come on. There won’t be an identity to protect if you die.”
“Batman…Nightwing…” he said weakly.
“They’ll understand!” you argued with desperation.
“No,” he mumbled. He shook his head.
Without any thought, your next words came flooding out straight from your heart. “Damian, I love you and I don’t want you to die!” Oh. That came as a shock to you. You’d never said anything like that before. In fact, you’d never even had a thought like that, but you knew it was the truth. Your hands almost flew to cover your mouth in regret, but the blood dripping from your hands stopped you.
Damian didn’t seem to notice your confession, or if he did, he didn’t acknowledge it. Had you not been utterly distracted by the emergency before you, you might have run away with embarrassment from your sudden proclamation.
“Please try for me, okay?” His eyes were starting to close, but you could see him struggle to keep them open.
You searched his eyes, to see that his once vibrant green eyes had a dull, hazy colour to them. Seeming to find what you were looking for, you conceded. You swallowed a lump in your throat. “Okay.”
It was the worst experience of your life. Damian walked you through the process, but nothing could prepare you for the nauseating feeling of piercing his skin and pulling the nylon thread through the thickness of the tissue. Seeing the inside of his body made you want to vomit but his life was at stake, and you had to be brave for him. Besides, he was the one who should be worried, not you. Your technique was obviously non-existent and you were certain that you were hurting him a hell of a lot more than he was letting on. He hissed and groaned and you apologized profusely but he insisted that you continue.
“Thank you,” said Damian after you tied the last knot. His eyes were heavy and lidded and you could tell he was barely hanging on to consciousness. “Knew you could do it.”
You had no response. Now that the worst part was over, the adrenaline had left your system and you were in shock. His hand lolled out in an attempt to offer you comfort, or maybe to seek comfort for himself. You weren’t certain which is was, but nevertheless, you instinctively clasped his hand in yours.
Then he said something that caught you off guard. His voice was so faint that you barely heard him. “For the record, I love you, as well.”
You weren’t sure if he really meant it. Maybe he was delirious. He did lose a lot of blood. You pondered it for a moment and wondered if you should feel mortally embarrassed when he was fully lucid, but just then, a gentle squeeze on your hand told you that you didn’t have to worry.
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cipheress-to-k-pop · 10 months ago
Damian Wayne when his Future child comes to the Present
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A/N: This is Older!Damian. Let’s just pretend that Damian is still going to be Robin when he’s older
Dick Grayson Ver. | Jason Todd Ver. | Tim Drake Ver. | Bruce Wayne Ver.
Conner Kent Ver. | Wally West Ver.
You hated Damian
With a burning passion
You thought he was annoying, arrogant and downright rude
He felt the same about you
Except he thought you were too sensitive and not dedicated
You were Jason’s adopted sister
He took you in when you were a little girl and he was still murdering people (not that he stopped but)
You had no training whatsoever but you figured out their identities pretty quickly
And everyone loved you so you were free to move around the manor as you pleased
Usually, you wouldn’t really do much in the Batcave except lay around
Damian didn’t like that you just got to lounge around when you could be doing that in the manor
You just did so in the Batcave cuz you got lonely
Did Damian care?
Not at all
So, the two of you arguing wasn’t foreign
Especially since you permanently moved to the manor when Jason decided you would be safer there
Bruce was all too happy to shelter you there knowing that if you were here Jason would visit more often
And you of course liked the idea of living at Wayne Manor
Damian thought you were just being a gold digger
Thought you were worthless
And you didn’t really mind his verbal onslaughts
You’ve heard worse, living on the streets your entire life
And if being special meant being like him then you wouldn’t want to be 
You had some basic skills to prevent you from getting mugged and stuff
But definitely not enough to go out on patrol like the rest of them
“I don’t really mind, I like sleep.”
“Tt. Of course, you’re so lazy.”
“Sleeping 7-8 hours per day is recommended, you little bitch. Not enough sleep is a reason for premature death and I wanna be alive so I can dance on your grave.”
One day while you’re dancing around in the Batcave while the others were on patrol something happened
There was a bright light and something crashed into you
Before you could gain your bearings, the person who fell on top of you starts cursing
“I told Wally not to pull that shit with me! And he ends up doing the same damn stuff again!”
When you open your eyes there’s a boy about your age towering over you
He holds a hand out and hauls you to your feet
“I’m so sorry about tha—Where am I?? Is this the Batcave?”
And you’re so surprised you lean over and press the alarm button to call the closest bat and bring him here
“How did you get in here?”
You both ask at the same time and then get surprised
“You’re the one that shouldn’t be here.”
“Excuse me? You’re the one who shouldn’t be in here. Now tell me who you are before I beat your ass.”
You’re still surprised and a little offended
This guy thinks he can beat your ass?
You have half a mind to grab one of Jason’s guns
Before you have to though, the Bat mobile comes in and out flies Batman and Robin
You can tell they’re surprised too because everyone is just standing around for a second
You expect Robin to do something first because Batman hitting a boy that’s his son age seems a little rude
But the boy opens his mouth before anything happens
“Tt. I’m Robin. Who the hell are you?”
“No, I’m Robin.”
And now you’re like is this kid okay? Like does he have a screw loose?
He looks at Batman and starts to say something “Da—”
But then he looks at you and cuts himself off
“Okay, I’m confused.”
You don’t know what else to do other than
“I’m (Y/N). Nice to meet you.”
“Are you stupid (L/N)? Revealing your secret identity could get you killed.”
The boy on the other hand looks shocked
Like you just slapped him, “(Y/N) (L/N)?”
You nod and he turns to Robin, “Damian Wayne?”
Robin’s eyes go wide “How did you—?”
Then he points to Batman, “Bruce Wayne?”
And now all of you are shook
“How did you know that?” You ask
“I think I travelled back in name is Thomas and I’m your son.”
It takes you a few minutes to understand everything
Your knees honestly go a little weak and you fall to the ground
Before you can even hit it though, Damian has an arm wrapped around your shoulders
“Pull yourself together (L/N). Stop acting like a stupid amateur.”
After a few minutes when your brain has cooled off from the information overload, Bruce decides he should take a DNA Test to prove you both are related
It comes out positive and you’re like damn
“So, if I’m your mom then who’s your dad?”
“I really shouldn’t say. Might mess up the time stream and what not.”
Damian scoffs and you’re like ‘Shit is this dumbass still here?’
“Nice to know that your stupidity isn’t hereditary, (Y/N).”
You go to bite back at him but Thomas speaks before you, “Wow, you were so mean when you were younger.”
And you’re like “Damian becomes nice in the future? Are you joking?”
“No, in fact in the future, we’re partners. I become Robin once Da—Damian becomes Batman.”
This is news to the both of you
Eventually the rest of the Batboys trickle into the Batcave to meet Thomas
He tells you all kinds of stories
“Hey mom, how come you weren’t on patrol tonight?”
And you’re like “Um, I’m not a vigilante.”
“Are you kidding? You become partners with Uncle Jason.”
Your eyes light up and you’re like “Don’t tell me, my name is Wolf.”
“Yeah exactly!”
And Jason is like “Why Wolf?”
And you point to him like “Cuz you’re Red Riding Hood.”
“You were the one who saved Da—Damian from a mind-controlled Uncle Jon.”
And then you’re like “haha hear that Demon brat? I save you.”
And this starts off your argument 
Everyone else rolls their eyes because they’re used to it
But Thomas is just sitting there shell shocked
Watching the two of you rip into each other
And calling each other every single name in the book
The others aren’t even bothered to try and break it up anymore
Dick usually tries to separate the two of you from getting into a physical fight
Cuz if you ever did get in a fight then it was clear who would win
But today he’s getting stitched up by Alfred in the back
Usually, your arguments end with someone breaking the two of you up
But today you’ve just about had enough of his attitude and before you even think you’re shoving him back
And he growls at you and raises his hand to punch you
Everyone’s a little slow to react because they don’t think that he’d actually hit you
Before anyone can do anything
Thomas is out of his seat and grabbing Damian’s fist just before he touches you
He pauses, wondering what to say
“How about we do some team building exercises? You two can paint together.”
And you’re like “Why would I want to do anything with this son of a bitch. Not sure if I mean Talia or Bruce”
Thomas is getting more antsy as you keep arguing
“But you really love painting together in the future!”
“Are you out of your mind? What could possibly make you think that we enjoy spending time together?”
“My full name is Thomas Wayne. And I’m (Y/N) (L/N)’s and Damian Wayne’s son.”
It silent
Dead silent
Before Tim and Jason break into howls of laughter
They’re on the floor crying and you’re just looking extremely uncomfortable
“You’re lying right?”
“Actually, he isn’t.” Says Bruce, “The DNA test came as a match to Damian too. I just didn’t think I should say anything.”
“Why would you p—Jason would you stop laughing!!”
It takes a good whack to the head using Robin’s staff to get him to stop laughing
“So, you’re telling me that for whatever reason I had a kid in the future? With Damian of all people?!”
“Not just me. I have 2 younger siblings as well.”
Jason starts laughing again
“You both are married.”
“Like I would want to marry her ugly mug.”
“The feeling is likewise.”
“Look you both need to get over your petty differences and get married and have me. Because frankly, I’m the best thing to ever happen to the both of you.”
You spare a look at Damian, “That’s your son, alright.”
He just rolls his eyes at you
That night one of the speedsters, Wallace Allen, comes to the past to pick Thomas up
“You two better listen to me and sort out your issues okay?” He says while getting on Wally’s back
“Woah, is that your mom? She’s hot.”
“Ew, she’s my mom.”
And the two of them are gone
The teasing lasts a couple of weeks
The boys calling you the Wayne’s wherever you go
“There’s the happy couple.”
“Hey dames, where’s the missus?”
“You’ll name the second kid after me, right?”
And Damian is just like “I’ll gouge your eyes out while you sleep.”
You still see him as the annoying kid but something changes
Because of Thomas you’re trying to intentionally see some good in Damian
And it works briefly
Until you start arguing all over again
And then one day you’ve just about had enough of him again
“If you keep acting like this, I’m not gonna carry your kids!”
And Damian just freezes and starts blushing
Totally speechless
And you’re like damn I won
Using other mildly sexual lines like that to shut him down
The tension builds that way
Until one day Damian can sense one of those lines are gonna come out of your mouth and kisses you
“What? What are you doing?”
“Trying to ensure my title is protected.” He says between kisses
You snort, “Sure. Like kissing me is going to change whether you become Batman.”
He just smirks at you, “I meant my title as your husband.”
All the heat crawls up your neck and you can’t help but stare up at him speechlessly
He chuckles
“Looks like I finally found a way to shut you up.”
Before leading you to his room
And this is why Thomas never found out how you started dating
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mybloodyvalentyne · 22 days ago
holding out for a hero - dick grayson x reader
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Words: 1278
Pairing: Dick Grayson x Reader
Warnings: poorly translated arabic.
Summary: Nightwing and Y/N combat boredom on an uneventful patrol with some good ‘ol 80′s pop. 
It was an uncharacteristically quiet evening in Gotham city. You sat next to Dick on the ledge of a downtown building, the pair of you dangling your legs off the side and bumping knees together absentmindedly every now and then. These nights were rare, when the constant steel roar of the city below seemingly fell quiet, and you cherished them immensely.
Dick was humming a familiar tune, as he often did while on patrols to occupy his mind. As soon as it dawned on you what it was, you snorted, turning to look at him quizzically.
"I didn't take you for a Bonnie Tyler fan," you jested.
He laughed, lifting his hands up in innocence. "What? Footloose is a great movie, sue me."
"Whatever you say, pal."
"Isn't there a white knight, upon a fiery steed?" he began to sing out loud now, only half-serious, but his voice was pleasant nonetheless. Slightly gravelly, but unexpectedly polished. He wasn't even trying. But that was Dick for you, a man who kept many talents up his sleeve and thought nothing of them. You squeaked in surprise as he suddenly pulled you to your feet, lacing his fingers through yours. It was enough to make your cheeks burn.
"Every night, I toss and I turn, and I dream of what I need."
You couldn't help but throw your head back in a deep, genuine laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of the situation. Here you were, two widely-respected (and feared, for that matter) vigilantes, dressed in your full combat gear, dancing on a rooftop and singing some cheesy radio hit from the 80's. Dick's eyes lit up at the sight of your laughter, though you couldn't see it behind his mask. He edged closer to you, and spun you around by your arm. This was his absolute favorite, these little stolen moments-- getting to see you this way, so relaxed, allowing yourself to be silly and free-spirited and comfortable with him. Though you and Dick weren't technically an item, everyone in the manor knew you two were obsessed with each other, practically connected at the hip, to the point that it had become something of a running inside joke. It was just so...obvious. Well, obvious to everyone save the two of you, or so it would seem. Everyone was practically just sitting back and waiting for the day you two idiots would finally just fess up to each other.
"I need a hero! I'm holding out for a hero 'till the end of the night!" 
The pair of you practically shouted the lyrics in unison, nearly forgetting to keep your voices down beneath the clamor of the traffic below. Dick moved his hands from your arms to your waist, leaning down to playfully dip you in his strong arms. When he pulled you back up, you found yourself just a tiny bit too close to his face. He had that damn cocky playboy grin of his plastered across his lips, one only a son of Bruce Wayne could conjure up, and it was just too much for you to bear. It was like looking into the sun. You found yourself shrinking away from his touch, continuing to sing along as you tiptoed across the ledge of the building.
"He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast, and he's gotta be fresh from the fight." 
It was only now that you began to notice the muffled voices coming through on the comms. You adjusted the volume in your earpiece to hear what was going on.
"Please, at least have the basic decency to turn off your mics if you're going to engage in that repulsive wailing." Damian's familiar voice rang in your ear with a growl.
Jason groaned. “God, I hate you both for making me agree with the brat.”
Meanwhile, Tim only gave you a half-hearted reproach, all the while sounding like he was trying to stifle a laugh. 
"C'mon, guys, you're really getting-- hah, you're getting way off task here."
Dick followed suit behind you, turning the dial on his earpiece all the way off with a click. He didn't care what his brothers had to say right now-- his only focus was you. He caught up with you, seizing your wrist again and pulling you flush against him. You giggled, finding yourself unable to resist his antics this time.
"I need a hero, I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light."
Was... was he getting closer to you? You receded from the discordance of your failed harmonies as Dick continued, his voice growing softer and his lips nearly touching your neck. You could feel his breath, warm and soft against your cool skin.
"He's gotta be sure and it's gotta be soon, and he's gotta be larger than life..."
"Um, Nightwing," You uttered, your words sounding a bit meeker than you would have liked them to. He brought his face up to yours, dragging the tip of his nose along your jawline as he did so. Your heart nearly leapt from the confines of your chest. 
"Can I..." Dick trailed, already tilting his head as he slowly drew closer to your mouth. You obliged, parting your lips and allowing him to crash down onto you. The kiss was so gentle, yet so hungry. You both had wanted this for so long. His muscular arms snaked around the small of your back, pulling you as close as possible, and your fingers cradled the back of his neck, ensnaring themselves in his dark locks.
"Oh my god. Are they..?" Tim chimed in over the comms with a lighthearted laugh. Dick was oblivious to this, but you still had your earpiece turned on and could hear everything. 
"Fucking finally," Jason sighed. "The sexual tension at breakfast was starting to get out of hand."
"Damn, it's been like a full minute. Are they going to come up for air, or what?" Tim said.
"Kulukum aghbia," Damian hissed, his words followed by the abrupt click of switching off his comms.
"Aw, little man's just tight because he hasn't had his first kiss yet," Jason chortled.
You finally pulled away from Dick, the two of you flushed and heaving to catch your breath. If only you could have seen the look in his eyes behind his mask-- it was so pure, so full of love and excitement. Even so, you could tell that he was lit up like a little kid on Christmas and it just made you want to pull him in again. You stopped yourself, though, remembering that you did still have a job to to. Dick, still holding you in his arms, clicked his earpiece back on just in time to hear Bruce's gruff baritone ringing out over the channel.
"All of you-- stop messing around. You're still on patrol."
You and Dick looked over at each other with a kind of sheepish glee, knowing you were definitely in trouble but finding it too funny to really care all that much.
"I think we're in for it when we get home," you said in a hushed giggle, nudging him with your arm.
He laughed heartily in response, slinging his arm over your shoulder.
"Oh, yeah. Without a doubt." 
He pressed another soft kiss to your temple. Bruce's inevitable lecture about professionalism aside, this would most certainly get you teased by Dick's brothers for the next three months at least. But none of that mattered to you right now-- the only thing that mattered is that you were in love with your best friend, and he loved you right back. Maybe Footloose isn't such a bad movie, after all.
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that-one-robin-fan · 2 months ago
Jason: *slapping Damian in the face with his own hand* ha stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself
Dick: *crying* is this why you wanted an open casket???
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