Dick, whispering furiously: Did you gave Tim a shot!?
Jason: Relax, it’s just root beer.
Tim: *comes out of his room, hits his head on the door*
Bruce: Tim, are you okay-
Tim, in a high pitched voice: Maybe I AM a sLUT BATMAN! MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS.
One time, I was playing MINECRAFT and I named one of my wolves Jason, after Jason Todd. We walked into the house that I had just created, and walked into a pissed off creeper and he exploded Jason right infront of my face.
I was traumatised for hours.
Damian: What the hell, Drake, why would you-
Tim: -I hadnt slept in a week, I was weak, I was awake
Bruce: Stay here Jason
Jason: uh- anyways, so-
Jason: *proceeds to get beaten up by the Joker and exploded into little pieces* 😌
damian: *petting alfred the cat like a mafia boss*
damian: for the last time, grayson. where is my money?
dick: i didn’t take your money
damian: really? then where were you on the seventeenth?
dick: seventeenth? which one?
damian: *heavy sigh* okay. you didn’t take it. youre too much of an idiot to even know where it was
dick: *looking at his bank account with negative three dollars* goddamn, i should’ve taken that money
Jason: who the fuck do you think you’re calling a bitch, you ass
Steph: now that’s one crazy motherfucker
Tim: what the frick frack tickety tack snik snak, bro?
Bruce: what the fuck
Tim, having consumed enough coffee to kill three horses and sprinting around the room rapidly: WHERE ARE THE FRESH CHILDREN TO FEAST UPON??
Damian, scared for once in his life and backing himself into a corner: whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhathefuckwHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCK
Jason: *says something egotistical*
Dick: Jason Todd, always has to be on top
Tim: *spits out coffee and starts laughing in the corner of the room*
Jason: I DO WHAT I WANT
Tim: I’m calling Alfred
Jason: no, wait-
Headcanon that Tim hacks into the Wayne Enterprises official website and changes all the links so the user is redirected to a video of Bruce being clumsy or basically being tired.
The News: Gotham’s Resident Playboy actually a tired dad?
Bruce: Tim get here nOW
Any of the bat kids: *shows Bruce a meme*
Tim: Hey B, I need $30 dollars for gamer girl water
Bruce *working on a case*: Mh-hm yeh sure
Tim: I need your credit card for a plane ticket to Area 51
Bruce *handing over his credit card*: okay whatever
Tim: yes!! c’mon Jason, we’re going to go see some aliens!! *runs off*
Bruce: WAIT WHAT-
Bruce:Stop fooling around.What are 12?
Jason*smugly*:On a scale of 1 to 10?Yes.
[in the batcave, after I have woken up from magically teleporting into the DC universe]
Batman: You clearly know about us, so tell us about yourself.
Me, sitting in a hospital bed: That’s fair but I’m gonna need you to be more specific.
The bat boys: ??
Me: like what do you want to know cause I’m an open book and have no filter. This could turn into a therapy session like [tried to snap fingers. They don’t snap.]
Me, staring at my hand: 👁👄👁
[The batfam watches as I fail to snap my fingers again. After a few attempts I get it.]
Me, continuing to snap my fingers and laughing: I felt like a lighter who wouldn’t- that wouldn’t light!
Damian, to Batman: Are we really concerned about her being a threat?
Batman: *Stuck in a death-trap*
Riddler: *Throwing his cane from hand to hand* Riddle me this Batman~
Riddler: What starts with an ‘I’— *Misses the cane, the taser built in going off on contact with the floor*
Riddler: AHHH OH FUCK, that scared me