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incorrectbatfam · 11 months

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Due to various circumstances, one of the batfam has to substitute for Bruce at the next Wayne Enterprises Board of Executives meeting. How do each of them do at that job?

Dick: I officially declare today Casual Friday.

Dick: *rips off pants to reveal Hawaiian shorts underneath*

Secretary: It's Tuesday.

———————

Jason: Here's a thought exercise for everyone. Say you're chasing a high-profile criminal like, I dunno, Black Mask, and you have one hour to locate his hideout in the warehouse district. With only a notepad and your knowledge of advanced ballistics, how many goons do you think he'll have posted around the perimeter?

Accountant: *raises hand*

Jason: Yeah?

Accountant: Aren't you supposed to be dead?

Jason: Irrelevant.

———————

Tim: To illustrate my proposed budget cut, let's use the analogy of assassins ripping out your spleen. To chip away at the layers of the body would be inefficient and take up more resources than necessary, whereas if we identify a streamlined path beforehand, we can make a quick slice and leave the rest of our time to focus on necessary repairs.

New employee, whispering: What's he talking about?

Veteran employee, whispering back: He's Red Robin. We just pretend we don't know.

———————

Stephanie: You, over there. How much do you get paid?

Intern: I don't.

Stephanie: Unacceptable. Follow me, we're taking a business trip to the ATM.

———————

Damian: From now on, Wayne Enterprises is a pet-friendly office.

Sales rep: Even my horse?

Damian: Especially your horse.

———————

Cassandra: *blinks*

Financial advisor: Huh?

Cassandra: *blinks*

Financial advisor: Of course, I should've thought of that.

Cassandra: *blinks*

Financial advisor: Yes, ma'am, I'll get right on it.

———————

Duke: So... what are you working on?

Web developer: *spouts off a bunch of design jargon*

Duke: Cool, cool. What about a comments section?

Web developer: Not gonna lie dude, I completely forgot about that.

Duke: That's okay. You look like you could use a break. Wanna get smoothies?

———————

Barbara: Why isn't the PowerPoint working?

IT person: The clicker needs batteries.

Barbara: And why doesn't it have any?

IT person: We ran out of double-As.

Barbara: A multi-billion dollar company and we run out of double-A batteries?

———————

Selina: *delivering a presentation*

Bruce: *walks in*

Bruce: Honey, I brought you lunch.

Executive: You told us you were out of town.

Bruce: I was. You think I can find burritos this good in Gotham?

———————

Kate: Alright ladies, I need to see those reports on my desk by the end of the day.

Researcher: Why?

Kate: …I've never had anyone ask that.

———————

Senior manager: Can we start already? I have places to be.

Alfred: Not until this conference room is spotless.

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junosswans · 10 months

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Batfam headcanons: Report Writing

I was thinking about nonsense then it occured to me "how would the batfam write their mission/patrol report?" Like, they must have very distinct personal style that you could recognise even through the standard bat-computer font. So I wrote this!

Dick: When Dick was still Robin, he absolutely HATED writing reports. "I write enough reports at school, B-man! Why would you make me write more??" He would attempt to wriggle out of the task by bribing Alfred with snacks or offering to do chores in exchange, because anything is better than sitting straight in front of the computer and typing (they usually indulge him and let him be). He'd also slip in a few swear words and gloss over details when he HAD to write something. His reports were short and written in a slightly childish manner. However, after becoming Nightwing and moving out, his report have made drastic improvement because hey, you definitely get a lot of practice in writing admin papers as a cop. His writing style is now concise and straight to the point, filled with professional jargons and divided in clear bullet points. All the photos are properly numbered and labelled, in a typical forensic science style. (Though admittedly, he still hates writing reports. But it's something that he wouldn't let his siblings know.) He's however, chronically late in submitting his reports, because he always has a lot of things to do and he has a bad case of procrastinating when it's something he dislikes.

Jason: Jason entered the clan with a lot of anxiety (Will I be accepted? Will I ever measure up to Dick?) And a lot of insecurities. So he treats report writing very seriously and is very detailed and thorough. He tries his best to adhere to the format Bruce gave him, and would triple check his spellings and grammars (another insecurity of him). As Red Hood, he still writes his reports (reluctantly) in the same cautious manner, and he would spend a lot of time profiling the victims and the perpetrators, because it always feels personal to him. He sympathises with both sides, understands their struggles and darkness intimately, and it shows in his written report. His reports on the person of interest's background and psychological analysis is always the most detailed and on-point. He writes in paragraphs usually, and he has a broad vocabulary that leans more on the literary side. Tim comments that he feels like he's in highschool lit class whenever he needs to read Jason's report for something, since Jason's prose always has a poetic and emotional tone to it.

Tim: Tim writes his reports dutifully and very seriously, but his seriousness doesn't always translate to a piece of good report. As a kid who has the tendency to ramble, is nosey, AND has photographic memory, Tim's reports are filled with details that nobody knows whether they are necessary. He would go off and transcribe all the dialogues he heard (including the passers-by), list out all the items in the nearby trashcan, and note down how the fast food shop down the corner has a buy-one-get-one-free promotion on hotdogs. He digresses a lot, but since his eyes for details did help crack a case once or twice (definitely more than that), Bruce lets it slip. His formatting are a mess, sometimes using bullet points and suddenly switch into paragraphs and then somehow becomes a tree diagram, his reports are definitely an eyesore (Bruce, regrettably, doesn't let this slip). As Red Robin, he's made a lot of improvements on his formatting (company paperwork does that to you) and is a bit more brief, but he still has the tendency to note down the oddest things in his reports. His reports also has the most amount of photos.

Cass: Cass is still pretty new to this whole writing thing and computer thing, so she gets a lot of leeway in her report writing. She is allowed to hand this work to others (if she's on a teamed mission), or use photos, pictures and handwriting/doodling to make her point (Bruce would later code & transcribe them to make them searchable on the database). Though given the freedom to not do the work (which her siblings are deeply envious of), Cass actually likes to write her version of reports as she treats this as an opportunity to practice her literacy. Her reports look like a collage journal with very sparse, simple writing. She also has the tendency to just put in a few seemingly unrelated keywords and let others figure out the significance behind them. They're usually very insightful and useful to the case. She also likes to draw in her reports, which everyone finds endearing. Babs taught her how to draw scientific diagrams and label the items, which she puts good use to. Since she's very observant to the human anatomy and body language, the family relies a lot on her reading when there is multiple suspects.

Damian: As "the proper heir to the robin title", Damian has a no-bullshit attitude on his reports. He submits them on time, is clear in his writing, and the format is impeccable. He has a very goal-oriented view on things, so his reports tend to focus largely on the outcome of cases instead of the process (a polar opposite to Jason's and Tim's reports). He would write a lot on how and when the culprit was captured, and the consequences that await them, while some other members tend to focus more on the process of deduction and puzzle-solving. Somedays, when he is particularly annoyed with others, Damian would slip in complaints into his reports and make sure everyone KNOWS he's upset. It's like a public call-out post.

Babs: As Batgirl, Babs writes the clearest and most condensed report out of everyone, cause she learned the best from her father. She has a keen eye on analysing material evidence, and would notice the smallest scratch on things and document them faithfully in her report. She likes to use abbreviations however, and that often confuses Damian and Cass ("what does OAN even mean?? Is that a type of wire??"). Sometimes she'd abbreviate the weirdest things just to confuse everyone else and they can beg her to explain them. As Oracle, she doesn't write any reports. YOU write reports to Oracle.

Steph: Steph is passionately against the idea of report writing. In her opinion, if she delivers the result there shouldn't be a need to write pages long of boring, bland descriptions on how that result is achieved. To various degrees of success, she would bribe others into doing the work for her ("work smarter, not harder, baby!") But when she has to write something, she would write in a very casual tone and often types with voice input. Therefore, her reports are filled with odd typos and occasionally hilarious choice of words (not because she couldn't be professional, but she doesn't want to be). Bruce is mostly frustrated but is also secretly glad that she's not forcing herself to do something that she doesn't want to. And she is true that she always delivers.

Duke: Duke is mostly neutral towards the aspect of report writing-- he's not particularly fond of it, but he understands that it is something important. Thanks to his superhuman vision, Duke is very alert in observing his surroundings and the environment. He would map out very detailed diagrams about building structures as well as machine components, which makes his reports very reliable when it comes to any kind of crimes related to alien items and technological innovations. Duke also has a large network from his Robingang, so he's very informed in the rumours and hearsays on the streets. He would include most of what he's heard in his reports so that others could follow up on them at night.

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catsauceeartofficial · 1 year

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Hey there! First off, gotta say that I’m a big fan of your Tim The Dragon Tamer AU! I love the world building and am especially fond of the dragon entries that Tim makes while he goes about exploring. Imagine after the reveal, Bruce and the Batfam finding the notes and being more than a little worried at how close Tim gets to HIGHLY DANGEROUS DRAGONS, TIMMY. I imagine they almost lock Tim in the manor when they find out what their baby bird has been doing behind the scenes 😂 (and even then, he’ll probably just get Redbird to break him out) .

Anyway, I’m real excited for the next chapter and all the other word building fics that you might have in store in the future. And your art is fantastic! I hardly see any writers make their own art for their fics and you’re doing phenomenal work for both! I’d also like to ask, since Tim needs armour for his Dragon Thief outfit but probably can’t tell anybody (let alone the people that make the gear for his night job and his fam) to help him make some, what are your thoughts on Blacksmith!Tim? I read a fic previously on something similar to Blacksmith!Tim that was set in modern DC universe and I think it would be a fun thing to explore in your universe. Like the Batfam seeing the burns on his arms and hands and being all ‘What happened?! Did your dragon do that?!’ And Tim being Tim ‘lol nope that was from me making the costume :)’ . And then Tim being bothered by his siblings to make and help repair their costumes bc ‘Timmyyyy you do detailed work so well! Plus we pissed off the last blacksmith and they refused to help on any armour work for at least the next week, thanks bestie 😊.’

So yeah, I’d love to hear more on your headcannons for the AU (and the blacksmith stuff *wink*) if you’d like to share them!

Sorry it's taken me a while to get to your ask! Your question required some thought to it that I would like to answer properly 😳

Thank you so much for your love of this fantasy fanfiction! The batfam definitely question Tim's history with dangerous dragon run-ins, but that just encourages half of them to do it too.

The reason I have art for the fic is that most of the stories, ideas and thoughts I have of the world all stem from visual images. It plays out in my head like an animation, and I take aspects of what I found appealing about the plot, vision and aesthetic in my head and try my best to translate to words. It's also the reason I wanted a beta reader for this fic, since words are incredibly hard to translate from an image in mind.

I've actually read the Blacksmith!Tim fic! It was an incredible take on Tim and I just like the idea of Tim having a wide variety of skill. He's what I would call Jack of all trades, master of none. His skills are borne out of either interest, or a need for it in obscure times. So he gets into blacksmithing so no one questions his need for a big ass saddle.

He does get burns and cuts, but he usually explains it away, or wears long sleeves. The others sometimes ask for him to help him tinker, but they actually mainly go to Duke. Duke's just glad to have another person to blather blacksmithing jargon to someone.

One headcannon I have in mind regarding Blacksmith!Tim is that his first saddle was so badly crafted, it loosened mid-flight and cause Tim to fall off the back of Redbird. They ended up crashing into a tree canopy

#op talks #tim the dragon tamer au #tim drake #dc #dcu #dcau

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ao3feed-brucewayne · 9 months

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Red Lights

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/0pW9BcA by randomdawn More time has passed than Amalie Curt cares to admit since she left Gotham City and the nightmares and memories that it holds. Maybe returning will give more than it takes. Jason grasps at straws as he does his best to keep his hopeless romantic heart from jumping out of his chest and into Amalie's hands while trying to get her to stay. Words: 6501, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Series: Part 2 of red means i love you, Part 4 of Batfam Works Fandoms: DCU (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Hood: Lost Days Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/M Characters: Jason Todd, Original Female Character(s), Dick Grayson, Damian Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce Wayne, Original Male Character(s), Original Non-Binary Character, Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown, Duke Thomas Relationships: Jason Todd/Original Female Character(s), Jason Todd & Original Female Character(s), Dick Grayson & Original Female Character(s), Tim Drake & Original Female Character(s), Damian Wayne & Original Female Character(s), Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd Additional Tags: Emotional Baggage, Past Character Death, Past Child Abuse, Batfamily (DCU), Jason Todd is Red Hood, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Tim Drake is Red Robin, Damian Wayne is Robin, Jason Todd-centric, Made up legal jargon, Flashbacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, past toxic family dynamics, Nightmares, Scarecrow's Fear Toxin (DCU), Autistic Character, I make up things about therapy, Anxiety, Dick Grayson Tries to Be a Good Older Sibling, no beta we die like jason todd, More tags to be added read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/0pW9BcA

#IFTTT #bruce wayne #batman #the caped crusader #the dark knight #dcu #ao3 #ao3feed

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awkwardpenguinproductions · 4 years

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10,17,26,47 for the fanfic asks =)

10. ��Is there a fandom you read fic from but don’t write in?

I’m currently noshing my way through Batfam, which is a fandom with EIGHTY PLUS FREAKING YEARS of canon to slog through. I have not the time, patience, energy, or inclination to even begin making a dent in that, but I’m learning enough of the basics through my reading to have a rudimentary understanding of the characters and their backgrounds. I’ll probably never write anything for it, but I’m enjoying the superhero family feels.

17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favourite?

Gosh... I honestly don’t think I’ve ever had a single OTP in any fandom I’ve been in. I’ve either gone completely gen, or supported multiple pairings. The very first ship I can remember actively supporting was McNozzo from NCIS, because I believed (and still do) that with a bit of character development, they could have been really good for each other emotionally. Nowadays my main OTP is Zukka, but I do enjoy a well constructed Zutara as well.

26. How do you come up with your fanfic titles?

Hilariously, titles are usually the easiest thing for me. Usually they’re random phrases that have stuck with me, or song titles that fit the theme or feeling that I’m writing. Dragon of the Yuyan came from a fleeting thought that since Iroh is known as the “Dragon of the West”, my Yuyan!Zuko would be known as the “Dragon of the Yuyan”, being the only firebending member of the Yuyan Tribe. When I decided that Dragon of the Yuyan was going to be a one-shot series instead of a chaptered epic, I very quickly hit upon the idea of using military vocabulary and jargon for titles because I felt it fit the theme of a true soldier!Zuko, a Zuko who spent the latter years of his childhood immersed in military culture even more than the canon!Zuko, whose primary focus had always been his Avatar hunt rather than his naval “command”.

47. Archive Of Our Own, Fanfiction.net or Tumblr - where do you prefer to post and why?

I got my start on FFN, but hands down AO3 will always be my first and only stop for posting. I LOVE LOVE LOVE their archiving system, how easy it is to find what you want and avoid what you don’t, and while posting can get a tiny bit tricky sometimes if you have a lot of formatting or don’t quite understand how to tag, I absolutely ADORE how the finished page looks on screen. I kinda wish you could increase the size of the font when using a desktop browser, but otherwise posts on AO3 just look good. It’s petty of me, but I’m a sucker for pretty web design.

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comatose--overdose · 2 years

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Okay, I'm considering starting a discord server for batfam and DC, with a dedicated channel for sharing cat!Jason and Cat!bats stuff, maybe another for bird cage shenanigans/batfam jargon. Please like or reblog this if you'd want to join, I would like to gauge interest.

Reblogs would be appreciated so as to reach more people.

#cat!Jason #jason todd #bruce wayne #batdad #batfam #dick grayson #tim drake #batfamily #batfam jargon #batman #dc comics

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ao3feed-brucewayne · 9 months

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Red Lights

by randomdawn More time has passed than Amalie Curt cares to admit since she left Gotham City and the nightmares and memories that it holds. Maybe returning will give more than it takes. Jason grasps at straws as he does his best to keep his hopeless romantic heart from jumping out of his chest and into Amalie's hands while trying to get her to stay. Words: 6501, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Series: Part 2 of red means i love you, Part 4 of Batfam Works Fandoms: DCU (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Hood: Lost Days Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/M Characters: Jason Todd, Original Female Character(s), Dick Grayson, Damian Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce Wayne, Original Male Character(s), Original Non-Binary Character, Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown, Duke Thomas Relationships: Jason Todd/Original Female Character(s), Jason Todd & Original Female Character(s), Dick Grayson & Original Female Character(s), Tim Drake & Original Female Character(s), Damian Wayne & Original Female Character(s), Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd Additional Tags: Emotional Baggage, Past Character Death, Past Child Abuse, Batfamily (DCU), Jason Todd is Red Hood, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Tim Drake is Red Robin, Damian Wayne is Robin, Jason Todd-centric, Made up legal jargon, Flashbacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, past toxic family dynamics, Nightmares, Scarecrow's Fear Toxin (DCU), Autistic Character, I make up things about therapy, Anxiety, Dick Grayson Tries to Be a Good Older Sibling, no beta we die like jason todd, More tags to be added via https://ift.tt/0pW9BcA

#IFTTT #bruce wayne #batman #the dark knight #the caped crusader #gotham #dcu #dc #ao3 #ao3feed

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