green arrow: this seems like a nightmare. seven batmen here.. surrounding us.
flash: we’re gonna die.
dick, jason, tim, stephanie, damian, cassandra, and duke dressed up as Batman: trick or treat!
Tim: What’s the plural of platypus?
Dick: We lost Damian!
Bruce: How do you lose Damian?!
Jason: Give us a break he’s like two inches tall.
Dick: How did you not know till we were 16 that I liked you? I’ve had a crush on you since I was 13
Barbara: You didn’t make it obvious till we were 16
Dick: Yeah I did
Barbara: Playing Hungry Eyes whenever I’m around while avoiding eye contact is not making it obvious
Dick: You made me nervous!
dick: pass the salt
alfred: *throws bruce across the table*
jason: i need relationship advice
dick: just because i’m married to babs doesn’t mean I know how I did it
Batman: you think your life is hard?
Batman: my children went to Walmart in full gear, just so they did not have to wait in line.
Batman: now everyone is questioning why nightwing was buying groceries,
Batman: why robin was sitting in the cart and playing cheese Vikings on his gauntlet,
Batman: why red hood and red robin were chasing each other around,
Batman: why spoiler was eating frozen waffles
Batman: why black bat just calmly followed them,
Batman: why signal was pretending not to know them,
Batman: and why catwoman was monitoring them while even helping them with getting groceries.
Green arrow: I mean.. they are kinda on to something there.. waiting in line sucks.
Batman: don’t you dare encourage them.
dick: guys stop! stop!
damian and tim: * proceeds to ignore *
jason: go tim!
jason: the demon spawn bit me earlier, I’m not rooting for him.
stephanie: and we see the wayne boys in their natural habitat..— OW!
tim: sorry, steph!
superman: two words to describe bruce?
black canary: tired dad
Bruce: I can’t believe I lost it.
Jason: What? Our trust?
Stephanie: Your sanity?
Tim: Your will to live?
Bruce: I was talking about my reading glasses, but we’re having a family meeting after this.
Batman: do you want to know why I’m so tired?
Batman: take a look at all my children.
Barbara: Are we dating
Dick, chocking: Whaat! No?
Barbara: You called me sunshine and honey this morning.
Dick: You’re my… friend. I call all my friends that.
Wally, in tears: YOU NEVER CALLED ME THAT
Bruce: Why did you guys get arrested?
Dick: We don’t know.
Jason: We didn’t do anything wrong.
Tim: We got pulled over and when the officer said “papers” Dick yelled “scissors” and then Jason drove off.
I’m pretty sure since it’s hard to get presents for literally BILLIONAIRES the Batfam just gets a bunch of their weird merch & each other’s merch for birthdays & Christmas
green lantern: you are HUMAN! i got this, so sit back and don’t get your bat ears in a twist.
batman: no. im batman.
Green lantern: … whats under your cape, Batman?
Flash: tell us. you cannot hide it forever! it’s like, moving!
Batman, sighs as he lifts his cape up, revealing the herd of children: they won’t leave me alone.