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yourmomxx · 5 months

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Jason: so how's winter going for you?

Y/N, who's violently shivering despite the fact that they’re wearing 7+ layers of clothing: fuck off

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tiredofsatansbullshit · 1 year

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Bruce: There’s my little babies!! Do you guys want some cookies?? I love you all so so much!!

Bruce’s children, covered in blood and all holding multiple weapons that are also covered in blood: Yeah!

#idk what this is #here you go #the product of my sleep #deprivation #is this coherent??#does it even make sense??#idk #anyways #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #cassandra cain #duke thomas #damian wayne #batman #batfam #batfamily shitpost

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batfamcraze · 2 years

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incorrectbatfam · 19 days

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Bruce is constantly asking the kids what they like to eat so he can freeze dry their favorites into oblivion as apocalypse rations

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violent138 · 3 months

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Red Hood just starts shooting at a Robin and the goons lose their shit, because that's the equivalent of asking Batman to make time in his schedule to fuck you up.

Goon: "Boss, come on, maybe let's leave the kid alone--"

Jason, snatching someone else's gun so he can keep shooting into the shadows after the first one ran out: "That's right you better run, you piece of shit! If you ever dye my hair pink again I'll fucking end you!"

Goon:

#batfamily shitposts #batkids #red hood #jason todd #dc comics #batman

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lovesick-joey · 2 months

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he's very helpful

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lioneliness-etc · 1 year

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Some goon: *hurts red hood in a fight*

Batman, swooping in: you monster. You should know better than to hurt a child in my city.

Goon: uhh that’s a fully grown man?

Batman: A child. A baby boy. Thats… somebody’s son. Probably.

Jason: oh my god dad you’re so fucking embarrassing

#batfam shitpost #batman #bruce wayne #jason todd #red hood #bruce wayne is a good father #protective bruce wayne #batfamily

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wolfish-chan · 3 months

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Batfam + co headcanons

- Jason dyes his hair black, but can’t seem to dye back the white streak

- His eyes use to be more brown, but after his dip in the Lazarus pit, they are a dark green

- The Al Ghul’s are similar in that aspect - Ra’s and Talia both have naturally brown eyes and Damian’s blue, but they’re now a vibrant green, reflecting the amount of time they’ve spent in the pit

- Ra’s eyes are the most unsettling, they’re the exact color of the pit water

- Damian has an accent

- Dick does too, but it’s much harder to pinpoint because of how much he’s traveled

- Damian calls Bruce ‘Baba’, but only after he disappeared. Before that it was just ‘Father’

- Tim is supposed to wear glasses, but he tends to forget them and his contacts so his mask is built to compensate. However, he is forever squinting during board meetings at Wayne Enterprises

- Jason and Bruce have the same thinking face but nobody would willingly call it out

- Alfred could definitely kill any of the rogue gallery, but he doesn’t out of respect of Bruce’s values

- Initially, Bruce would get annoyed when Tim would bring YJ into the batcave/manor, but he’s slowly begun to expect it

- He did get tired of finding Bart in his good chair though, so now he has a special one beside it (everyone knows it’s for Bart, but Bruce would rather be caught dead than admit that)

- Duke gets along really well with Bart and Wally, and Bruce feels a headache forming every time they’re together

- Cass is Wally’s favorite out of Dick’s siblings. More often than not, he talks way too fast for her to catch more than a few words, but she’s such an attentive listener that he forgets

- Stephanie and Jason aren’t allowed to be in a room together without supervision because they kept getting into fistfights (she antagonizes him as a hobby)

- When Damian needs time to think, he goes down to the barn to sit with Batcow because nobody ever checks for him there. They always assume he’s off training

- Duke brings out Damian’s childish nature in the best ways, and they’re almost as close as Damian is with Dick

- They pester each other a lot, but then fall asleep watching movies together (true brothers fr)

- The entirety of the batfam refuses to watch superhero movies because they’re “inaccurate”

- Jason and Diana have a genuine bond, and it only grows stronger when he comes back, even if she does get disappointed with his actions. She’s like the mom he never had

- Clark always says he doesn’t have favorites out of the younger generation, but it’s secretly Tim. He appreciates all that he does for Kon (Dick is still his favorite Robin tho)

- Alfred doesn’t make certain recipes anymore because they were something he used to make with Jason, and it upsets him to make them without his assistant

- Tim cannot for the life of him match his clothes, like Adam Sandler type of style

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shyestofhearts · 10 months

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Bruce: Has anyone seen Damian?

Dick: No...?

Duke and Damian on the roof trying to figure out if Duke can use his powers to manipulate the light enough to roast a marshmallow without a fire: I think it's working

#shitpost #dc comics #duke thomas #damian wayne #batfam #batfamily

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supesideblog · 1 year

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Tim Drake kinnies stand up for our national anthem!

*starts record* the sound of goats screaming starts playing

#dcedit #dc universe #dc comcis #dc #dc robin #red robin #tim drake robin #batman #tim drake #kinnie #kin #edit #shitpost #onion headlines #batfamily #batfam #relatable #lgbt pride

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yourmomxx · 8 months

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Jason: I'm back.

Bruce: What the- you can't be here. You're dead. I literally saw you die.

Jason: Death is a social construct.

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escapismisaddicting · 4 months

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“Hey! Yeah, Talia, It’s me Jay.”

“No, Bruce hasn’t been causing me any trouble, um- it’s actually the opposite problem. You… you know post-nut clarity? I think I’m getting post-lazarus clarity. You know?”

“Yeah… Talia, you kinda failed to mention all the shit that had changed in Gotham while I was gone. Like sure I have a replacement now whoop dee doo! But like- I also apparently have a charity named after me? All proceeds go to refurbishing crime alley- and apparently it’s been so successful that most kids I knew back then are now working in Wayne Industries. So- And you know that’s not the only thing? I have a park now. Like a genuine park named after me. With a statue of me in the center of a god damn water fountain. My favorite gargoyle was moved to the entrance of the park. Fucking hell Talia- I HAVE A MENU ITEM AT BATBURGER. NOT ROBIN. NOT RED HOOD. LIKE GENUINELY JASON PETER TODD HAS A FUCKING MENU ITEM THERE! IT WAS BASED ON HOW I WOULD EAT IT ON PATROL- I DON’T KNOW HOW TO COMPUTE THIS INFORMATION TALIA!”

#batman #dc #batfamily #batfam #bruce wayne #jason todd #red hood #ressurection #talia al ghul #batburger #his order is the Todd burger #it’s just a burger with curly fries #and coke with ice cream in it #all proceeds go to charity #shitpost #incorrect quotes

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batfamcraze · 2 years

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BWFA Ep. 42: Unbelievable - Spoilers

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incorrectbatfam · 2 months

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If we assume the batfam are living in 2024 and Damian is around 10 then that means he was born in 2014 and has likely never touched a DVD in his life

#damian wayne #robin #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batbros #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #batman #dc comics #headcanon #shitpost #batposting #gen alpha

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violent138 · 1 month

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I think every Batkid who puts on the cowl to cover for Bruce embarrassingly undergoes the rite of passage of

a) accidentally forgetting to compensate for the ears and nearly getting taken out by door frames

b) voice crack:

Gordon: "Alright, which one of you is under there? You know what, don't answer that-" downs blood pressure meds "-just don't say anything."

Batman:...

Gordon: "Perfect."

#batman #batfamily headcanons #batfamily shenanigans #Bruce Wayne #Batfamily #Batkids #Shitposts at 3 am #dc comics #Jim Gordon

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adeptune01 · 5 months

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Tim: What's your toxic trait- go.

Jason: I truly believe I could win in a fight against anybody if I was mad enough- you might have the strength and size but I have pure, unfiltered rage.

Dick: I think people would let me do literally anything if I just say "please" and look at them all nice.

Damian: Every time I get in an argument with one of you I hope I die after so the last thing you said to me will have been mean, you'll be filled with regret your whole life, and ultimately I would have won.

Tim:

Jason:

Dick:

Damian: See? Effective.

#the horrified silence #batfam #batfamily #dcu #red hood #batfam incorrect quotes #damian wayne #jason todd #tim drake #dc #dc comics #dc universe #batfam shenanigans #batfam shitpost

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