anime-writing-everything · 16 hours ago
Bruce: *messing around at a gala as a child, pushes into an old scary lady*
Lady: *scowling* I hope you get a child exactly like you.
*years later*
Dick: *stubborn with anger issues*
Bruce: oh no
Jason: I hate you! You’re not my dad
Bruce: *remembering all the times he yelled that at alfred* oh nooo
Tim: *stays up for days obsessing over cases, drinks coffee like it’s disappearing tomorrow*
Bruce: *quietly moved away his files and mugs* oh nooooo
Cass: *charges into a death match to become the best fighter she can*
Bruce: *remembering every training he did before Batman* ....pleaseeee
Damian: I hate school! I don’t need it *gets expelled from every school he goes to*
Bruce: *remembers EXACTLY how many times he got expelled and for why* ....fuck
Bruce: *stared at Duke and Steph*
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incorrectbatfam · an hour ago
Damian, to the Joker: No, YOU live in a society!
Damian: I live in an Animal Crossing village and I'm thirty thousand dollars in debt to a fucking raccoon.
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stxrryskygrayson · 15 hours ago
is that seat taken?
pairing: dick grayson x f!reader
word count: 1,700+
warnings: literally no fluff, just smut 18+ (minors dni), dumbification, dick grayson has one filthy mouth
summary: there’s one seat that has your name on it.
a/n: “that’s my lap.” “i know what i said.” 🥴 this is literally just me delivering filth and wanting to see y’all scream.
/ minors & ageless blogs will be blocked /
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“can i sit on your lap?”
dick swallows thickly. “little bird…” he draws out the syllables, low and smooth.
it’s a warning, to be sure, but you can’t bring yourself to care. not when it arouses something carnal in you, the already present heat between your thighs worsening. as if that was possible, you scoff.
“i don’t know if that’s a good idea.” the heat of his full attention on you has you squirming. his baby blues are twinkling with amusement, but there’s something darker underneath, something that tells you it wouldn’t take much to convince him otherwise.
“but you’re more comfortable,” you pout, eyeing the seat beside him with disinterest. how could you be interested when his muscled thighs are spread wide, a perfect perch for you. a whine bubbles up in your throat. “please, dick...” you don’t care how desperate you sound, you just know you’ve got to be closer. you hunger for his touch in just about any capacity, romantic or not. more than anything, you want him closer; you want his body caging you in on all sides, to have his touch burning its path across your skin. maybe if you ask nicely, he’ll let you ride his thighs. or, if you’re really good, fuck you wide open on his cock. your thighs squeeze together at the thought.
a raised eyebrow from dick lets you know that the action didn’t go unnoticed, but even if it proves this is in fact a bad idea, he doesn’t say anything more about it.
“okay…” you can still sense dick’s hesitance. how he has so much self-control around you, you’ll never understand. “just this once,” he rumbles, “but i’m carrying you to bed later. you can’t spend the night on my lap.”
“try me” is what you want to say, but you’d rather not push your luck. no, instead you content yourself with basking in the light of this small victory. you rush to take your seat, soft ah’s leaving your lips at the flex of his muscle as he shifts underneath you to accommodate your weight.
“better?” he asks. you hum in reply, even though you’re pretty sure your blissed out expression is answer enough. it’s heavenly, practically every inch of dick’s 5’10” physique pressed against you. his arms are tight around you, effectively trapping you in his embrace. but at the same time as it’s not enough, it’s also too much. your hips have since become hitched haphazardly over his thighs, your head is resting in the crook of his neck and his in yours, and you don’t even realize that you’re shaking.
he’s all you can see and hear and feel and god, his scent is intoxicating. everything about him is intoxicating and in a way that has you dumb for his cock, begging for him to take you right then and there.
“stop squirming,” dick leans down to mutter in your ear. you didn’t even realize you had been.
something pokes the inside of your thigh, and you realize that he’s nursing a raging hard-on. he wants this, too. he wants you.
so it turns out he didn’t have as much self-control as you’d thought.
that was a relief; it meant it would be that much easier to get what you wanted. it also meant that he wouldn’t have the willpower to refuse you, not when you were so needy and had quite literally fallen right into his lap.
because if there’s one thing you know about dick grayson, it’s that he can never refuse anyone in need. and right now, you just so happen to fall into that category.
it’s delightfully easy. with a wiggle of your hips, a few wayward touches, and a breathy gasp of his name, you find yourself tossed over his shoulder one minute and onto your bed in the next.
“this is what you wanted, isn’t it?” dick’s cock hovers oh-so-tortuously over your entrance. you mewl in protest, an ungodly wail of a sound that wracks your whole body.
how dare he stop there. how dare he not give you what you want when he knows how badly your cunt aches to be filled with his cock. you’re trembling for him, brain muddled with thoughts of him as your hips, which have a mind of their own, jerk up to meet his for the briefest and most blissful of seconds.
“aw,” his tone is mocking, “is this not enough for my pretty little bird?” he palms his cock, not even inches from your dripping wet pussy. the sounds of his arousal— shlick, shlick— fill the air. it starts out slow at first, then faster, more sloppy. the head of his cock dips up and taps your clit. you keen, eyes practically rolling into the back of your head at the first sign of stimulation your touch-starved body has received. “oh baby,” the rumble of dick’s voice drops an octave, “you’re more needy than I thought. look at you. so desperate. like you’ll die if you don’t get it.”
a single tear makes its way down your cheek.
“you need it bad, don’t you? don’t worry,” he coos, “i’m gonna take real good care of you.”
with no real warning, he plunges into your dripping, eager cunt in one vicious thrust. a pained gasp leaves your lips with the snap of his hips, the initial stretch making you see stars.
he gives you plenty of time to dwell on that fact because he’s frustratingly slow to move. any attempt to push your hips back further into him, to force any sort of friction, is met with immediate resistance. when he cages you in like this, arms stilling your hips on either side, he has complete control. but who were you kidding? he’s always had complete control. from the instant you’d stumbled into wayne manor and into his lap.
you are nothing more than a toy to him, a toy for him to use.
“look at you,” dick’s voice drips with disdain, “stuffed full of my cock, and it still isn’t enough, is it?”
you swallow thickly, the weight of his cock heavy in your belly. he’s right. it’s not enough. you need him to wreck you, to fuck you and fill you, and then, then maybe the buzzing under your skin will stop. maybe you’ll finally get some relief.
“is it?” he asks again, this time so close you can feel the heat of his breath on your ear. the movement fucks his cock a little deeper into you, and you groan.
the word comes out choked. he’s too close for you to be able to think, let alone string a sentence together. his musk clouds your senses and makes your brain short circuit. he smells too good, like vanilla and cinnamon and sex, and you’re overcome with want.
“please what?”
“please fuck me. please give me your cock and stuff me full of your cum. please, dick,” you beg.
your answer must satisfy him because not even ten seconds later he’s driving into you with a speed and force that even the flash would envy. he feels bigger than even you’d imagined, the thick veins of his cock catching on your innermost walls with every in and out motion.
“open.” dick grasps roughly at your thighs, and despite the red blush rising in your cheeks, you do as he says. you spread your legs wider, fully exposing yourself to him. the intimacy of the action leaves you even more flustered as dick is pulled flush against you. he reaches an all-new depth inside of you, a depth that’s got you making ungodly noises.
it’s everything you ever needed— hard and fast and dirty. his hips are snapping your ass with every thrust, driving into you with a technique and precision that only dick grayson could have, and then his fingers are snaking down to your core and tracing circles over your pulsing clit.
you’re in complete sensory overload, balanced on the brink of orgasm and one touch away from coming. which is why you’re so confused when that doesn’t happen, and you’re left clenching around him instead, unsatisfied and needy as ever.
the tightness of your fluttering pussy draws out dick’s first orgasm, but even as he nears his second, his fingers bring you to the edge of orgasm once more, only to withdraw at the last second. something in you shatters at the loss. tears threaten to spill, and you don’t care if you have to beg for it. you need to come.
“dick…” you whine, unable to think straight long enough to even ask for what you need. you’ve been reduced to a trembling mess, just another toy he’s used, too fucked out and sensitive from his game of denial to be able to moan out anything other than his name. “dick.”
“that’s right, sweetheart. tell everyone who’s fucking you so good,” he croons into your ear, even as he continues fucking you. “aw, pretty baby, look at you, so dumb for cock.” his words send a shock straight down to your core. “bet my pretty little slut wants to come, huh?”
you nod vigorously, hoping, praying that he’ll have mercy on you. and just when you think you can’t take it anymore, your patience is rewarded. two firm fingers press roughly against your clit, matching their rhythm with the pistoning of his hips. you angle your hips upward, anything to get him deeper, closer.
the sounds of sex echo louder than you would’ve thought possible in the large room. pants, moans, the smack of his dick’s hips against your pussy… he’s wrecking you in a way that sure to leave you ruined for any other man. because this, the feeling of him fully bottoming out inside of you with every thrust, cock nudging against your cervix, this is what you’ve been craving.
your body shudders with the tell-tale signs of orgasm, and dick leans in closer to whisper into your ear. “come for me, little bird,” dick coaxes you.
“oh my god.” with that, you’re coming so hard that the breath is knocked from your lungs, white creeping into the edges of your vision. he’d certainly known what he was doing, because each denial only meant that when you finally came, it was that much more explosive.
“that’s right. milk my cock.” and you do, walls clenching so hard around around dick’s cock that it almost gets stuck. his hips stutter, his movements cease, and then he too, is coming.
you’re sure that the two of you paint a crude picture, naked bodies intertwined as your shared mess drips down your thighs.
still, you’ve never felt more fulfilled.
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junkoandthediamonds · 18 hours ago
I can deal with a lot of fanon interpretations of characters, but the one that sets me off every time is when people lump Steph in with the rich batkids and act like she'd be out of touch or know nothing about money. It's the number one indicator that they don't actually know anything about her.
Oh god. I honestly haven’t really encountered that one that I recall but that would make me lose my mind.
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incorrigiblebatfam · 8 hours ago
babs: you know, they make thongs specifically for low-riders now
vera: they don't work for me. i still can't sit down without showing the whole world the crack of my ass
vera: the other night, some guy tried to put a pen in it
jason: [thinking] some guy... i never get credit for anything
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the-djarin-clan · 2 months ago
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BatDad doesn't know words like peace and tranquility. Batman: Wayne family adventures - Episode 34: Recovery
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thisiswhereikeepdcthings · 3 months ago
Do not cite the deep canon to me, witch. I was there when it was collectively ignored.
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impyssadobsessions · 2 months ago
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THIS TOOK TOO LONG why did I do this to myself LOL Based of this post I made earlier. Added extra scene below. Dick is also the hardest one to draw for me.. idky Pretty boys are not my strong suit XD
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It's his weakness...
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its-minart · 6 months ago
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Batkids bullying (or vibing with) Gotham villains (or antiheroes)
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the-lost-marauder · 8 months ago
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i love that Tired Dad Bruce is now canon in the dc universe askfhldhjfajm
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codenamed-queenie · a year ago
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Tim Drake as John Mulaney Quotes
(Click for Better Quality)
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batsgirll · 5 months ago
it’s a general consensus that batman’s cape is a bigger dimension in the inside where all the little batlings hide but: how do they all move?
do they:
• cling onto batman’s body like a koala?
• do a lil shuffle waltz and waddle with every step?
• wear heelies/ roller skates so they just slide as they cling onto batman’s body?
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edorazzi · a year ago
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Another commission I got to work on for @lapzoli!! ( ´ ▽ ` )ノ♡
There’s absolutely NO mistaking the Batfamily as anything but a bunch of chaotic siblings. Nightwing and Red Hood don’t even plan these things, they just sense whenever it’s the right moment to ruin Batman’s Very Serious Mission Briefing.
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sohotthateveryonedied · 8 months ago
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not a single braincell between them, as it should be 😌
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its-minart · 6 months ago
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This is my formal apology for my last post about these babies <33
Have a Happy Halloween btw
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frostbittenbucky · 5 months ago
Yea I like truth serum Bruce Wayne but what I really want is truth serum Bruce Wayne that makes him say the first thing he thinks. No filter. Meaning he’s either just roasting the hell out of himself the whole time or being genuine
Bruce: [sips his too hot coffee] “try waiting a minute you fucking moron”
Bruce: [nearly drops phone] “almost ten years of ninja training and you can’t even tell”
Bruce: [eating his breakfast]
Tim: “hey Bruce, still having side effects?”
Bruce: [looks up] “they’re only side effects if I squint, otherwises I just seem sarcastic and cynical”
Dick: [takes a selfie with Bruce] “what do you think?”
Bruce: “we look like shit”
Dick: “yea, we do look like shit” [deletes photo]
Bruce: [steps in water wearing socks] “I hate being alive, it’s not worth it anymore if this is the trial I have to face”
Alfred: “just take off your socks”
Bruce: “I’ll take you off my will”
Damian: “I wished you leave me alone”
Bruce: “and I wish I knew how to communicate with you properly”
Damian: “yea, because I’m so difficult”
Bruce: “because I love you and I want to be the father you deserve”
Jason: “I fucking hate you!”
Bruce: “same. Wanna make a club?”
Jason: “… wait can we?”
Bruce: “see Jason’s got more self control than me, because if I killed somebody then I’d just kill everybody. Equality, am I right?”
Bruce: “god, I’d wish you’d kids stop stressing me out”
Tim: “well sorry we can’t be perfect”
Bruce: “who said you aren’t perfect? I love all of you so much I feel like I can’t breath sometimes”
Clark: [wearing a new dress shirt]
Bruce: “you could get it”
Clark: “what?”
Bruce: “I said what I said”
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arguablysomaya · 11 months ago
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this is my formal request for dc to make an animated batfam series
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comatose--overdose · 4 months ago
All of the bat kids have a “bird call” whistle unique to them, used to sound off at a distance without comms when necessary. It lets Bruce and everyone else know where they are and that they’re okay. Bruce will whistle first and they all reply. If someone fails to, he heads towards their last known location. It’s very helpful when operating outside of Gotham in more wild areas.
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thisiswhereikeepdcthings · 3 months ago
Jason: So.
Jason: How many murders did you refrain from committing today?
Damian: Thirty two.
Jason: Good for you.
Jason: Here, have a cookie.
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niteween · 25 days ago
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batkid pool day ☀️
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