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magneto-manifesto · 15 hours ago
literally just had like,,,,the 3rd worst idea of my life lmaooooo
and its a batfam/dc comics x the oc crossover fic 😆😬😝
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incorrectbatfam · 19 hours ago
Clark: Go ahead and introduce yourself.
Jon: My name is Jon with a "B" and I’ve been afraid of insects my entire—
Damian: Stop, stop, stop. Where?
Jon: Hm?
Damian: Where’s the "B"?
Jon, panicking: There’s a bee?!?
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winchester101 · 22 hours ago
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When Tim can’t be a menace to bad guys as Robin he settles for being a menace as a goose
Thank you for the stunning commission @uncannycarrot
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imjusthereforbatfam · a day ago
I dont have a snappy caption for this one, but if anybody wants a pic of my "data" board before I take it down I'll share it 😅🥰
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dc-incorrect-bats · a day ago
Oliver: I should really frisk her for weapons before I go.
Talia: Try and I'll break your little fingers.
Oliver: She's clean.
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marypearlsonsworld · a day ago
Superheroes dealing with Karens
SUPERHEROES DEALING WITH KARENS! I mean c'mon, there must be loads of Karens in DC and Marvel. Like c'mon! Do you think Batman ever had to l deal with a Karen threatening to call the "sherrif" on him for dressing like a bat and hitting people and scaring children? I bet Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin, Nightwing were recording and sent it to the whole batfam. Then somehow it got sent to the flashfam then the superfam and now literally the whole superhero community has a video of Batman standing quietly in front of a loud Karen not leaving in case he was too rude (also Red Hood threatened to start killing again with Robin if he did).
One time, the whole Justice League were faced with a Karen saying that they're a bad influence on the children and are encouraging people to put on capes and fly about. And of course, she threatened to call the "sherrif" and her always-present-never-to-leave-or-retire attorney. She even called 911 on the JUSTICE LEAGUE! The reciever dissolved into a fit of laughter and just hung up. Their proteges never laughed so hard that day.
Even the villains had to face the wrath of a Karen. Imagine Lex Luthor standing awkwardly being told off by a Karen and when he finally snaps he starts yelling too. Amd Superman and Kon are just at a safe distance away, recording and giglling. There are some villains (maybe even heroes) who threaten to drop a Karen into a volcano (and some who actually do it). G. Gordon Godfrey is a Ken.
Marvel also faces the inescapable wrath of Karens and Kens. Poor Spidey just stopped a bank robbery when he's interrupted by not one, but two Karens! He's just standing there trying to politely get away and explain. But in the end, he just swings away cuz he's getting late for school. Ned and MJ couldn't stop laughing and will tease him at any given chance.
Tony and Steve (before Civil War) went outside for whatever reason with their costumes on and were interrupted by a Karen who was screaming her head off about how people who wear crazy get-up should be illegal. She then proceeds to call her attorney. Steve was hella confused. He was just like "wtf is going on? Tony why are you recording this? Why is this woman shrieking about how loud you are? Wtf is happening? Huh?" He then has enough and starts to yell himself, but stops cuz he has a noble and good soul.
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frostbittenbucky · a day ago
I’d like to imagine the kids like to fuck with people every time people mention their adoption, and Bruce goes along with it
Part 2,Jason
Martian manhunter after analyzing DNA that every leaguer is required to give for medical purposes
MM: “Batman, there seems to be a problem.The DNA you gave us does not match with your son, Robin”
Batman: [glances at Robin, gives small nod]
Robin, 15: [precious laugh] “that can’t be right, right batman?”
Batman: [looks at MM] “there’s clearly been a mistake”
MM: “I’m afraid not”
Batman: “hm…” [tries to avoid eye contact with Robin]
Robin: [looks horrified] “what?” [looks Batman in the eyes and raises his voice] “Did mom have an affair?! [starts sobbing]
Everyone in the league start watching
Robin: “I’m a bastard child?! My dads not my real dad!”
Batman: “Robin, listen to me, you are my son. None of this matters”
Robin: “yes it does! We’ve been living a lie! [A+ acting from Jaylad]
Batman: “… Robin, you were adopted. This changes nothing, do you understand?”
Robin: [clings onto Batman in a dramatic embrace] “I love you, dad!”
Batman: [glares at MM] “next time there’s an issue speak to me in private”
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frostbittenbucky · a day ago
I’d like to imagine the kids like to fuck with people every time people mention their adoption, and Bruce goes along with it
Part 1, Dick
Random lady at a gala: “-so I can imagine the adoption process can be quite stressful”
14-year-old Dick: [smile fades] “what?” [glances at Bruce and the lady]
Bruce: “Dick, wait-“
Dick: [tears rolling down his face] “am I adopted? Dad, am I adopted? Oh god”
Bruce: “I uh-“ [glares at the lady] “what have you done?”
Lady: “god- I’m… I- I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry-“ [runs away]
Dick and Bruce: [fist bump]
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incorrectbatfam · a day ago
Cassandra: *holding a pot of stew*
Duke: *bumps into her*
Cassandra: What the hell, Duke?!? You almost killed me! I'm not going out in a stew-making accident! Cass is gonna die saving the president, or Cass is never gonna die!
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arguablysomaya · a day ago
Jason: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Duke: if I had a dollar for every pixel in that meme, I’d have 15 cents
Jason: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you
Tim:: actually I did the math, Duke would have $225, not $0.15.
Duke: bruh i’m right here....
Cass: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Damian: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Cass: Sorry I only have a dollar
Damian: >:/
Dick: Hey I just realized Tim's wrong, Duke would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent
Tim: fuck off
Cass: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice :)
Dick: You can buy anything you want with $22,500
Jason: Yeah and she wants soda and apply juice
Tim: apply juice to what
Cass: Directly to the forehead
Dick: Great chat everyone
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arguablysomaya · a day ago
Jason: So here are the final bets.
Jason: Tim has two weeks, Duke a month, Cass... twenty-two days and seven hours...
Dick, entering the room: What's this about?
Jason: There's a bet for how long it takes Bruce to figure out the plant he's been watering in his office is made of plastic.
Dick: That's a little mean
Dick: I bet three weeks.
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brokenarrow32 · 2 days ago
Let’s talk about Jason Todd (and his relationship with Dick, Tim and Bruce {but mostly Tim}) for a minute. This is going to be angsty so buckle up.
So the end scene in the Under The Red Hood movie, where Jason tries to force Bruce to kill Joker. We probably all chalked it up to Jason wanting revenge on the Joker and such right? Well let me shed a new light on it. What if it was Jason trying to prove something. Not to Bruce, I’m not talking about him trying to show Bruce the flaws in his moral code in this scene, no. Not to Bruce, or even Joker. But to himself. Let me elaborate. Jason was always the second in line. The one who came in last, the second best, the second robin, the robin who died, the robin who wasn’t good enough, the Robin who failed. And Jason believes this, and I back that theory with Jason’s canonical last words before his death, which were “I’m sorry, Bruce.”. Jason was Always “second best”. What if this scene was more than just revenge on joker. What if it was him trying to prove that he was more than just the second Robin. The one who screwed up and killed. What if it was him trying to prove too himself that Bruce did actually care. That he wasn’t just expendable, that’ he wasn’t just a filler, a replacement for Dick. That his position as robin wasn’t just him being a temporary place holder until Bruce found someone better.
Jason canonically has insecurities. He was a scrawny little kid who lived on the street and spent his childhood getting beaten and abused by his alcoholic father. Jason probably doubted himself all the time, and probably consistently wondered if he was good enough. And always ended up telling himself no, he wasn’t. He probably always felt like his place as Robin was a temporary thing and fought so hard to deny it. To prove his insecurities wrong.
Let’s now talk about him and Tim. This is gonna sound stupid so forgive me, but I don’t actually know if Jason canonically called Tim “Replacement” in the comics or if it was just a running gag within the fandom. But for this let’s say it’s canon, (cause it probably is but I don’t want to make any assumptions). What if the whole “replacement” thing was just Jason projecting his own pain onto Tim? What if it was just him still trying to prove his insecurities wrong and he wasn’t just the expendable robin who could be replaced as soon as he died. That he wasn’t just a place-holder. What if him calling Tim a replacement was him trying to make himslef feel like he wasn’t the replaceable one, and that it was someone else. What if it’s all just Jason trying to stop doubting himself and prove his insecurities wrong? What if the scene where Jason tries to get Bruce to choose between him and the joker isn’t about Bruce? What if it has nothing to do with Bruce, and everything to do with himself?
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dc-incorrect-bats · 2 days ago
Dick: [Dick's inhaled a lot of laughing gas] Are you really here to rescue me or am I super stoned?
Jason: Uh, both.
[Dick laughs]
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incorrectbatfam · 2 days ago
Damian: I am never thrown out, and I never leave quietly. I STALK out, in a HUFF! And then I get REVENGE!
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frostbittenbucky · 2 days ago
I don’t care how important keeping the Brucie Wayne act is, Bruce will and has beaten the shit of out someone in broad daylight, in front of a crowd, with paparazzi photos flashing rapid fire
All because the wrong motherfucker tried to prey on his kids
His cover? Dad mode.
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frostbittenbucky · 2 days ago
I feel like Bruce does snap sometimes with his kids, but I hate the idea of him ever laying a hand on them
So he does the next best thing and tickles them aggressively. Bruce never leaves unscathed, his injuries go all the way from busted lip to bruised ribs
But the satisfaction of torturing his bratty children is worth it every time
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batphobique · 3 days ago
my final post on this for real this time (sorry sorry i just had this in my drafts from when that one post™ was making the rounds and i had to wait to get some control over the triggering feelings it caused so that i wouldn't word it too emotionally)
a gentle message from your local autistic childhood trauma haver™
yes, it is possible for anti bruce posts to employ ableist rhetoric, and i do not, and will never, deny that. however, to make the argument that any acknowledgement and criticism of bruces abusive behaviour is in and of itself ableist ‒ like blanketly ‒ is fallacious for several reasons.
first, you implicitly draw a causal relation b/w bruces ptsd (& possible autism) to said abusive behaviour… which is. objectively more ableist. the implication is autistic and traumatised parents are fundamentally incapable of being good parents. also, that's not how autism works, & while reactive behaviour is a common symptom of ptsd yes, it doesnt absolve a parent w ptsd from their responsibility to manage it and no, saying so is not. at all. the same as ableist, "you're just not trying hard enough!" rhetoric b/c that responsibility is what you sign up for when you decide to become a parent. i say this, as someone whose trauma stems in part from mistreatment by a parent who is also traumatised. that's why cycles of abuse are like. a thing.
second, it's just plain ad hominem. "if you think this then you're just a bigot!" is not an argument. you havent refuted anything, you just cast aspersions on your detractors' moral characters in order to shut them down and enable others to dismiss any and all critique out of hand.
i agree that we need to think critically about the choices writers make and the social contexts in which they were made and i also agree that focusing on bruce's better characterisations in canon or even on your own headcanons is not wrong, and anyone who says it's wrong needs to step back, log off for a bit, re-evaluate. however. that doesn't mean that people who choose to analyse the (canon!) abuse are ableists for doing so. that makes a lot of uncomfortable assumptions, based on p much zero evidence, about who we are, what we've experienced, and why we do the criticism. it also assumes that when we criticise bruce we somehow aren't by extension criticising the writers who made the problematique™ choices, as if he. weren't a fictional character whose every action ‒ bad and good ‒ is b/c of the writers.
"thing shouldn't have happened" ≠ "thing didn't happen" 🤷🏼‍♂️
i dread what's gonna happen to my inbox and notes, but im gonna go ahead and tag this one, b/c i want people to see it. feel free to reblog, in fact, please do.
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