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#batkids

I’m a simple person. All I want is a movie where emo Bruce Wayne goes to Gala’s with his band of adopted vigilante kids, Alfred teaching him how to parent and his love interest is a thief.

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  • Roy finds a skull on a crime scene. Jason picks it up and starts reciting Hamlet
  • Whenever a play is in town, Roy buys two tickets and goes to Jason with excuses like “Kory said she’s busy” or “Lian has school tomorrow” because he’s too awkward and stubborn to admit that he likes spending time with Jason
  • Speaking of Lian, while she was at a sleepover Jason and Roy repainted her bedroom together. They spent the night designing a mural and ordered takeout. Jason fell asleep on Roy’s shoulder with a tiny dab of pink on his nose
  • One time Roy was on a mission while Lian’s school had an art show, so Jason went in his place. When some kid made fun of her painting, Jason jumped in like, “WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY KID, YOU TWERP?!?”
  • They go to an abstract art museum and Jason starts rambling about the deep meaning of a red splatter while Roy’s looking at the ticket receipt wondering how they got a couple’s discount
  • Also, at the museum, Roy drops cheesy pickup lines like, “I’d kiss you but the sign says not to touch the artwork”
  • Sometimes Papa Hood and Uncle Arsenal will read to kids at the Gotham library
  • They don’t see movies in theaters when it’s been adapted from books, otherwise the usher will kick them out for complaining that the adaptation is wrong
  • Bruce and Oliver can tell when Jason and Roy have had a date somewhere because they’ll find “JT + RH” graffitied inside a heart
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  • Sit on computers, homework, books, etc.
  • Knock things off the table
  • Stretches over the entire couch the moment someone gets up
  • Blocks the door so people can’t leave
  • Veers out of the way when people try to touch him
  • Hisses when he comes in contact with water
  • Can squeeze into any space
  • Occasionally meows
  • Grooms himself but refuses to let others groom him
  • Steals food off of people’s plates
  • Has razor-sharp claws
  • Brings back random things from outside as offerings
  • Follows people around
  • Scratching everything and everyone
  • Climbs into other people’s beds in the middle of the night
  • Likes the taste of catnip
  • Causes problems
  • Looks like he can murder you but is actually a cinnamon roll
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  • Bruce still has Dick’s first report card and to this day. Forget Nightwing achievements and all that—this is his biggest bragging point with Dick. He’ll pull it out and be like, “See this? My son got a gold star in recess. What did your snot-nosed kid do again, Karen?” And Dick will act all embarrassed because “Come on, B, I’m twenty-six” but secretly, it always brings a smile to his face.
  • He can tell when Steph’s having a bad day because she’ll be completely silent and oddly focused on patrol, so they’ll go off the scheduled route, grab some Batburgers, and talk about anything (or nothing at all)
  • Although it sometimes comes off as anger, Bruce is actually terrified any time Jason disappears without warning, even if he’s just at the corner store for five minutes because oh God what if something happens again
  • Bruce once took a raincheck on a Justice League mission because Carrie’s Girl Scout troop needed one more chaperone on their apple orchard trip 
  • Duke has free reins when it comes to inviting his We Are Robin friends to the Manor because Bruce wants him to still feel like a normal teenager. However, feeding a gaggle of teenagers on top of an already-huge family is a lot of work for Alfred, so Bruce takes over during this time.
  • Harper doesn’t always have the best outlets when it comes to taking out her anger, especially about her birth father. Instead of trying to force her to talk or use conventional coping mechanisms, Bruce takes her to the paintball arena and they go HAM
  • He calls Tim “son” more than Tim’s actual name
  • Whenever Cass does something super-cool-and-awesome, Bruce is always like, “She gets that from my side”
  • Bruce always makes a point of letting Cullen know that just because he’s not actively on the vigilante scene doesn’t mean he’s any less valuable as a Bat
  • Babs and Bruce bond over mystery movies and they like to see who can solve the case before the detective—and before each other
  • Bruce often underestimates Damian’s age, with Damian being both the youngest and smallest. He’ll be at the store and see a coloring book for toddlers and think, “Oh, Damian will love this” and then at home Damian will look at it and be like, “Father, this is for ages three to five” and once again it’ll dawn on Bruce just how fast his children are growing (but Damian will still color it anyway).
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Robin Chic™. Top-of-the-line. Classy but still fresh – Stephanie

Cool and casual; a much-needed modern spin on an age-old moniker – Duke

Mad respect to all of you for getting creative when the city needed you – Daxton Chill, Dre Cipriani, Riko Sheridan, Isabella Ortiz, Shug-R, Tancredi, Taylor, Travis Price, and Troy Walker (We Are Robin)

Elegant and refined, bridging identity and functionality – Damian

Yay, you have pants! – Tim

The OG Robin. A bit dated, but still a goodie – Dick

Copycat Dick with a tire iron – Jason

You literally bought yours from Party City – Carrie

Someone’s gonna come after me for not including you, but I still think you’re the Jar Jar Binks of this fandom – Jarro

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tim: guys i think he’s our suspect. he didn’t pass the vibe check

bruce : red robin i’m begging you to stop using “vibe checks” to identify suspects

jason : looks like you don’t pass the vibe check either, b. not with that attitude anyway.

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Batkids as DND Races ;

Dick Grayson : Half-Elf, Half-Human (raised primarily human).

Jason Todd : Tiefling (red hue, horns that curve towards his ears but one is broken).

Tim Drake : Half-Dragonborn, Half-Human (Copper Dragonborn on his mother’s side).

Damian Wayne : Half-Goliath, Half-Human (Goliath on mother’s side).

Duke Thomas : Dwarf (Mountain Dwarf / “Shield Dwarf”).

Cassandra Cain : Gnome (Forest Gnome).

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Stephanie: Don't let Cass fool you. She's not that scary. She used to do ballet.
Duke: No way.
Cassandra: Which gave me the physical skills I need to strangle you with my feet.
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