Steph would not only be on foodtok but she would DOMINATE
"Making the viral Harley Quinn cupcake bombs"
"Trying every item on the Batburger secret menu"
"Everything I ate at the Wayne Gala"
"Testing Spoiler's waffle hack"
"Letting my brother decide what I eat for a day"
But also she'd have a second equally popular account doing the EXACT same thing as Spoiler
"What I eat in a week as a vigilante"
"Packing Orphan's patrol snacks"
"Rating restaurants that are secretly crime fronts"
"The waffle hack that took down Cluemaster"
"Breaking into Lex Luthor's office and vibe checking his mini fridge"
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I think every Batkid who puts on the cowl to cover for Bruce embarrassingly undergoes the rite of passage of
a) accidentally forgetting to compensate for the ears and nearly getting taken out by door frames
b) voice crack:
Gordon: "Alright, which one of you is under there? You know what, don't answer that-" downs blood pressure meds "-just don't say anything."
Batman:...
Gordon: "Perfect."
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Dick and Damian- *Fighting using an incredible strategy and hours of training*
Meanwhile
Jason- YEEEET *Throwing Tim at bad guys*
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Incorrect Batfam Quotes
Tim: *develops a plan
Steph: Not gonna lie, that sounds like a war crime.
Tim: It’s never a war crime the first time. Now whether it gets designated a war crime after…
Tim: That’s not my problem.
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Bruce: *has the batkids lined up* Who did it?
Tim: If this is about Damian's toothbrush, it was Jason's idea.
Dick: You found it!? Stephanie you said he wouldn't find it!
Damian: What did you do with my toothbrush, Drake. WHAT DID YOU DO???
Tim: *laughs*
Stephanie: He couldn't have!
Cass: *blinks*
Jason: I live for chaos.
Bruce: I was asking who drank the last of the milk and left an empty carton.
The batkids: ...
Duke: It was me.
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Jason and Talia giving advice: "Shut the fuck up"
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holy musical b@man lines that the batkids would quote constantly
mostly to piss off dick and bruce
it's mostly jason and steph but tim, duke, babs, and possibly cass would get in on it as well
hi im bruce man i mean. im bat wayne FUCK. can i start over
"look batm'n a dog!" "quick, robin. pet it"
[commissioner gordon voice, to dick] god, you suck
ohh my fucking tibia
be a born billionaire and have your butler build a jet, that's the american way
how does a bat become a man? why does he have such a strong sense of justice? does he want fruit or blood?
get your broke ass out of here two face
idk some asshole named bruce wayne????
what's a robin. is that like a lizard
🎶 what a super weird thing to say that came out of nowhere 🎶
batman. or should i say... butthead
[when they see a new villain with a stupid theme] oh my god it's calendar man
🎶 FUCK YOU 🎶 im gonna kick ur ass 🎶 FUCK YOU 🎶 im takin you down FUCK YOU 🎶
orphans for sale!
"this is even worse than when the joker poisoned the water supply" "or when scarecrow poisoned the water supply" "or when killer croc poisoned the water supply"
a juicebox. and make it a mott's goddammit
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a Tim Drake headcanon
Tim Drake has constant nightmares.
so i just think that when Tim has nightmares about everyone he thought he lost like Bart or Kon or Bruce. Tim goes for his camera that's on his bedside table for easy grab, to remind himself that they are back and alive.
he scrolls through the recent photos there : a photo of Bart and Cassie laughing brightly when they were playing Mario Kart. a selfie of him and Kon, where he's wrapped in his leather jacket. a photo of him and his best friends, where they were in another planet for a mission and they were covered with alien goo; they thought it was History in the Making.
a recent photo of Bruce, captured during one of their Sunday brunches. he's smiling with his eyes crinkled (which rarely happens), when he found out about Damian's art project being chosen to be presented at the school fairs because apparently, "My teachers said that my art is one of a kind, Father."
sometimes it gets quite difficult for Tim to close his eyes and let sleep consume him again. so he calls Kon, "Please tell me something, Kon. Please tell me you love me, and you won't leave me again." he just wants to hear his boyfriend's voice, to feel secured and assured. Kon doesn't have to be told twice because he replies with love. in some cases, Kon goes to the Manor and holds Tim until he's able to rest, whispering sweet words.
but there are also those kinds of nightmares, or more like painful memories of the Red Hood hurting Tim at the Tower.
Tim gets out of bed and checks the walls of the Manor, where it shows the many present photos of the family, all captured mostly by him. his favorite to look at is of Jason reading a book in the library and he has that small smile caused by something he read from the novel on his hand. it tells Tim that this is the now and that Jason is his big brother.
he tests this theory by peeking through Jason's slightly bedroom door (Jason rarely keeps it locked to remind himself that he isn't buried and trapped) and stares at Jason's sleeping form. Jason looks peaceful and harmless. if he wanted to hurt Tim again, he would have done it by now, right? on those occasions where's it's the two of them in the Manor? On Jason's motorcycle when he offered Tim a ride back home? At one of Jason's safehouses when he saved Tim in one of their night patrols?
one night when Tim is about to go back to his room after making the conclusion that Jason is sleeping.
"Back to stalker mode, Timmy?" Jason's voice is not filled with sleep. he must have been awake the entire time.
"Um... Just checking. Nightmare."
"Nightmare, huh? Well, fuck, me too. Let's get some coffee, I'll make us some. And if you want to talk about it, you can tell me."
and Tim has to look up to smile at Jason because he's so damn tall and Tim is so little.
"Thanks, Jay."
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Batfam Incorrect Quotes #17
Dick: Did you really have to stab him?
Jason: You weren't there; you didn't hear what he said to me.
Dick: What did he say?
Jason: "What are you going to do? Stab me?"
Dick:
Jason:
Damian: ... That's fair.
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Quick doodle of little Damian and his other bro Respawn + Momma Talia too
(Click for better quality)
May or may not clean and fully finish these up lol, but I really wanted to do some fluff with these three hehehehe, so I really like it anyways💖
Also, for anyone wondering why Respawn is here with Damian and Talia, and while so young too instead of as a teen, this is not my Young age au here lol, I just changed up Respawn's backstory for my version of the main DC universe, making it that instead of Ra's, it was actually Slade, for very selfish reasons, who had created Respawn himself, using his and Talia's DNA mix just like in canon to make it happen, and was the one who had him in his care ever since he was born. But then one day, Talia found out about Respawn's existence and also the fact that he's her Son, while unexpectedly stumbling upon both him and Slade during a mission of hers, so then she decided to take him away with her to raise instead, since despite Slade being the Father, she sees him as a danger that should never be near kids, especially after hearing everything he's done to his other older ones before, so she's definitely not gonna let her child keep being stuck with that. Once Talia successfully brings Respawn back to the League without Slade being able to follow her, he officially becomes apart of the Al Ghul family after that and stays living with them for a long good while before certain events in the future happen. There's way more details to this version of the backstory though and to the future parts of it too, but this is just to only quickly summarize things here, but anyways that is why he is here as a young kid with them both (and another thing that I wanna mention too, unlike canon, Ra's and Talia do not abuse him in this version of things! They care about him like how they care about Damian and treat him the same as him too)
Also, I am thinking that Talia would feel like it's also so wrong that Slade didn't give Respawn a real name, so she decides to name him "Abbas", which is an Arabic name that means "Lion", because it describes his strength as the fighter he was already trained to be and the internal one he also had while dealing with Slade for so long before she had finally met and rescued him. After that, Respawn begins to grow attached to it and understands the actual love and thoughtfulness behind it, unlike his original one, and it lets him see and feel like he's really cared for, so in result, this causes the name "Respawn" to later become one that belongs more to his sepereate identity instead in the future whenever the mask is on
And he leaves the Wilson name behind too, since he doesn't want to be associated with Slade anymore after going through a lot of abuse from him, so he just completely goes by "Abbas Al Ghul"
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Steph: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming?
Dick: Can everyone in this godforsaken group please learn the skill called "Think Before You Speak"?
Jason: Ya know... it might be.
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Dick: What’d you make for Selina?
Bruce, staring at the food he burned: Regret.
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Hi! Looking for a fic where Tim has these migraine things that make him blind in one eye and his other eye is swollen shut so now he's basically blind, Jason finds out first then tells Bruce and I can't remember the rest :( thank you!
i have located the fic about the idiot known as tim drake
'How Many Fingers Am I Holding Up?' by ItsSoCute
“No! Wait! Jason!” he called, scrambling to his feet. “It’s okay-” But even as he said it, Tim tripped over the coffee table and took a nosedive to the floor. Jason wasn’t fast enough to catch him. Tim let out a low groan as he rolled over, his bruised ribs screaming at the mistreatment. He panted slightly, but managed to get out between breaths, “Listen… please… it’s okay… not head trauma… will be fine… in a bit…”
“Right,” Jason said with heavy sarcasm, now hovering next to Tim, but still afraid to touch him. “Because suddenly going blind is totally normal.”
“Well, yeah,” Tim breathed.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Excuse me?” Jason said, incredulously.
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“lmao duke is the normal one in the family 😂” “duke: the only normal one” “he’s so done with everyone’s shit” “poor duke he’s the only normal one! 😂”
oh so you are racist and don’t see duke thomas as a 3 dimensional character got it
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Incorrect Batfam Quotes
*All of the Batkids have been kidnapped
Kidnapper: *calls Bruce
Kidnapper: We have your children.
Bruce: …
Bruce: Let me speak to them.
Kidnapper: Alright. *puts the call on speaker
Bruce: Damian’s in charge.
Batkids: *all start arguing about who should be in charge to the point of scaring the kidnappers into letting them go
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