#batman crying

[mckinlily]

Plot armor but it’s Bruce Wayne’s wealth.

Bruce is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce does not want to be one of the richest men in world.

He starts by implementing high starting salaries and full health care coverages for all levels at Wayne Enterprises. This in vastly improves retention and worker productivity, and WE profits soar. He increases PTO, grants generous parental and family leave, funds diversity initiatives, boosts salaries again. WE is ranked “#1 worker-friendly corporation”, and productively and profits soar again.

Ok, so clearly investing his workers isn’t the profit-destroying doomed strategy his peers claim it is. Bruce is going to keep doing it obviously (his next initiative is to ensure all part-time and contractors get the same benefits and pay as full time employees), but he is going to have to find a different way to dump his money.

But you know what else is supposed to be prohibitively expensive? Green and ethical initiatives. Yes, Bruce can do that. He creates and fund a 10 year plan to covert all Wayne facilities to renewable energy. He overhauls all factories to employ the best environmentally friendly practices and technologies. He cuts contracts with all suppliers that engage in unethical employment practices and pays for other to upgrade their equipment and facilities to meet WE’s new environmental and safety requirements. He spares no expense.

Yeah, Wayne Enterprises is so successful that they spin off an entire new business arm focused on helping other companies convert to environmentally friendly and safe practices like they did in an efficient, cost effective, successful way.

Admittedly, investing in his own company was probably never going to be the best way to get rid of his wealth. He slashes his own salary to a pittance (god knows he has more money than he could possibly know what to do with already) and keeps investing the profits back into the workers, and WE keeps responding with nearly terrifying success.

So WE is a no-go, and Bruce now has numerous angry billionaires on his back because they’ve been claiming all these measures he’s implementing are too expensive to justify for decades and they’re finding it a little hard to keep the wool over everyone’s eyes when Idiot Softheart Bruice Wayne has money spilling out his ears. BUT Bruce can invest in Gotham. That’ll go well, right?

Gotham’s infrastructure is the OSHA anti-Christ and even what little is up to code is constantly getting destroyed by Rogue attacks. Surely THAT will be a money sink.

Except the only non-corrupt employer in Gotham city is….Wayne Enterprises. Or contractors or companies or businesses that somehow, in some way or other, feed back to WE. Paying wholesale for improvement to Gotham’s infrastructure somehow increases WE’s profits.

Bruce funds a full system overhaul of Gotham hospital (it’s not his fault the best administrative system software is WE—he looked), he sets up foundations and trusts for shelters, free clinics, schools, meal plans, day care, literally anything he can think of.

Gotham continues to be a shithole. Bruce Wayne continues to be richer than god against his Batman-ingrained will.

Oh, and Bruice Wayne is no longer viewed as solely a spoiled idiot nepo baby. The public responds by investing in WE and anything else he owns, and stop doing this, please.

Bruce sets up a foundation to pay the college tuition of every Gotham citizen who applies. It’s so successful that within 10 years, donations from previous recipients more than cover incoming need, and Bruce can’t even donate to his own charity.

But by this time, Bruce has children. If he can’t get rid of his wealth, he can at least distribute it, right?

Except Dick Grayson absolutely refuses to receive any of his money, won’t touch his trust fund, and in fact has never been so successful and creative with his hacking skills as he is in dumping the money BACK on Bruce. Jason died and won’t legally resurrect to take his trust fund. Tim has his own inherited wealth, refuses to inherit more, and in fact happily joins forces with Dick to hack accounts and return whatever money he tries to give them. Cass has no concept of monetary wealth and gives him panicked, overwhelmed eyes whenever he so much as implies offering more than $100 at once. Damian is showing worrying signs of following in his precious Richard’s footsteps, and Babs barely allows him to fund tech for the Clocktower. At least Steph lets him pay for her tuition and uses his credit card to buy unholy amounts of Batburger. But that is hardly a drop in the ocean of Bruce’s wealth. And she won’t even accept a trust fund of only one million.

Jason wins for best-worst child though because he currently runs a very lucrative crime empire. And although he pours the vast, vast majority of his profits back into Crime Alley, whenever he gets a little too rich for his tastes, he dumps the money on Bruce. At this point, Bruce almost wishes he was being used for money laundering because then he’s at least not have the money.

So children—generous, kindhearted, stubborn till the day they die the little shits, children—are also out.

Bruce was funding the Justice League. But then finances were leaked, and the public had an outcry over one man holding so much sway over the world’s superheroes (nevermind Bruce is one of those superheroes—but the public can’t know that). So Bruce had to do some fancy PR trickery, concede to a policy of not receiving a majority of funds from one individual, and significantly decrease his contributions because no one could match his donations.

At his wits end, Bruce hires a team of accounts to search through every crinkle and crevice of tax law to find what loopholes or shortcuts can be avoided in order to pay his damn taxes to the MAX.

The results are horrifying. According to the strictest definition of the law, the government owes him money.

Bruce burns the report, buries any evidence as deeply as he can, and organizes a foundation to lobby for FAR higher taxation of the upper class.

All this, and Wayne Enterprises is happily chugging along, churning profit, expanding into new markets, growing in the stock market, and trying to force the credit and proportionate compensation on their increasingly horrified CEO.

Bruce Wayne is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce Wayne will never not be one of the richest men in the world.

But by GOD is he trying.

#batman #bruce wayne #laws of this dc universe say Gotham is always a hellcity #and bruce wayne is always filthy rich #bruce wayne is fighting with everything he has against both those facts #he’s not going to win #but he’s not going to stop either #bruce crying with fistfuls of money in his hands: take it. PLEASE #the public: donate more???

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Instead of Dick or Tim, Red Hood straight up goes for kidnapping Bruce Wayne and keeping him hostage just to see how desperate the birds get in trying to find him.

It’s a foolproof plan. Batman won’t blow his cover unless absolutely necessary, and “Brucie” would never know how to slip away from a crime lord of Red Hood’s caliber. It’s foolproof. It’s perfect. Jason can keep dropping hints and make threats towards the birds and watch Bruce squirm without consequences if he plays this right.

But then “Brucie” keeps begging him not to hurt his kids…

#Jason miscalculated #seeing Batman frightened is one thing #but without the cowl he’s just Bruce #and Bruce was Jason’s DAD #it’s pretty hard to see him plead like that #and ffs Jason was just suggesting MILD torture with Tim #now stop CRYING Brucie omG #Jason is totally NOT close to tears himself no fucking way #meanwhile dick and Tim: #SCREAMING IN DISTRESS #jason todd #batfamily #batfam #dick grayson #robin #tim drake #bruce wayne #red hood #Nightwing #batdad #prompts #fic #titans tower au does this count? #enemy to caretaker for certain tho #or more like #enemy to son #or enemies to family? #huh #Batman #fanfiction

[leoronyx]

Thoughts

#russell adler #vergil #devil may cry #call of duty #dc riddler #the corinthian #the sandman netflix #karl heisenberg #resident evil #the batman 2022

[mylifeingotham]

#don’t mind me #i’m just crying #bruce and alfred #father and son #batman #bruce wayne #robin #damian wayne al ghul #dc riddler #gotham #arkham riddler #gotham riddler #joker #batman and robin #richard grayson #dick grayson #nightwing #red robin #red hood #jason todd #tim drake #tim drake wayne #tim wayne #damian wayne #damian al ghul #dick wayne #jason wayne #brucie wayne #bruce pennyworth #pennyworth

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 113

“I seem to have been taken hostage.” Batman’s words almost had Superman panic if not for the wry tone, a tone which the others didn’t know if their freaking out was to go by. Clark sighed through the comms, tired after battle and honestly wanting to go to bed now.

“I’ll be right over, what child has latched onto you now?” He asked while switching to a more private channel. 

“I can already hear you making fun of me…” Wha- Oh. Clark bit his lip to keep himself from laughing as he took to the air. “They appear to be a pair of twins with…” 

“You gotta’ say it Bruce, you gotta’,” Clark couldn’t stop the chuckle when he saw his friend on the top of a building, cape curled around his form in a way usually reserved for the robins. 

“... with dark hair… and blue eyes…” That was it. Clark absolutely lost it in laughter. 

#dcxdp #dpxdc #Danny & Ellie fell into this world during an invasion were very scared #Latched onto the first semi-ecto contaminated person they found #Bruce gives off slight ghost vibes and feels safe so they aren't letting go any time soon #Could be Superbat might not up to yall lol #Batman is just staring down at the small children who have latched onto his leg and are crying #Look the man is a dad and a hero and isn't going to leave the kids there #It's also highly concerning when he finds out they're not in the system #And their DNA is only half human with the rest being... something who knows #Apparently he's adopted a pair of half aliens but that's not going to stop him #“I could take them if you need-” #“No they're my babies now no takes backs”

[batmanisms]

after school ice cream run captured by one alfred pennyworth circa spring 2003

#they literally make me want to cry #how am i supposed to be normal when THEY EXIST #batman #robin #jason todd #red hood #dc #dc comics #batfam #batfamily #art #fanart #commissions open #tag as ship and i swear to fucking god i'll murder you

[bruciemilf]

"LET ME AT HIM,'' Jason screams, held back by the batfamily, Clark, Alfred, and Batcow

#theres a reason why bruce is not allowed to be respond to his kids being mean and this is why #bruce wayne #dc #dc comics #batman #jason todd #dick grasyon #tim drake #batfamily #sorry catherine ily <3 #batfamily social media #batfam twitter #teen bruce being a walking vibe check is my guilty pleasure. he'd make regina george cry

[sasswonfp]

This joke came to me in a fit of laughter (ALT description provided :3!)

#superman #batman #the flash #flash #wally west #bruce wayne #clark kent #justice leauge unlimited #justice league #abruptly I was hit with this joke when I made one abt myself being always 2 seconds away from crying and realised it worked oh so well #i had so much fun drawing this #esp bc i was really trying to find a good medium between my style and the jlu style #super blocky but also a bit more realistic than jlu #batman is so shape and i fucking love it #literally i just drew his outline i didn't even bother with the rest of it #gremlin fucking creature. man who is just an object #this is my first time ever doing like an actual attempt at dc- #homegrown art

[baihujun]

I drew a guest art for finch's artbook

#bruhal #batlantern #batman #hal jordan #bruce wayne #green lantern #my bro @caninefinch on twitter!! #what an honor #my friend was like “is hal a ghost and i gonna cry”..... no unfortunately he is very much alive. just being a pain in the ass #my art #dc comics #bats tag

[kartsie]

Baby bats for @batfam-big-bang

Thanks to @dear-galileo and @ssomagni for blessing everyones eyes with these stories

#THEYRE SO GOOD YALL I WAS CRYING IN THE CLUB #my art #Batman #bruce wayne #jason todd #Robin #Tim drake #stephanie brown #BABY BATS #batfamily #batfam big bang #batfam #dc comics #baby tim drake #baby Stephanie brown

[undertheredhood]

bruce 'tired single dad' wayne: *lecturing jason once again on something he did during a fight*

jason 'theatre kid extraodinare'' todd who immediately starts fake crying on the spot: do you just not love me anymore?

#dc comics #dc universe #dcu #batman #red hood #batfamily #batfam #bruce wayne #bruce thomas wayne #jason todd #jason peter todd #jason was never the angry robin #yeah bruce is weak to his children crying but especially jason #if jason can puke on command you best believe he can convincingly fake cry too #what's the point of having trauma if you can't use it to stop your dad from lecturing you? #bruce folds on the spot when jason cries which is why jason doesn't cry that often (jason doesn't want his secret weapon to lose effect) #most of the time jason just owns up to the things he did #so there really isn't any point in lecturing him because jason doesn't care about consequences #the first time jason fake cried in front of bruce after his death he was shocked at how it still worked #the reason why it works so well is because bruce thought jason was dead for around four years and grieved him for so long

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Clark, recovering from kryptonite poisoning and high on painkillers: Bruce, would you still love me if i was a worm? 🥺

Bruce, zero hesitation: No.

Clark: You wouldn't? 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

#clark is devastated #he starts crying #bruce is confused why this is so important #and he doesn’t know how to comfort clark #he’s trying to explain why he wouldn’t love a worm but it’s really not helping #batman #bruce wayne #superbat #superman #clark kent #dc #dc comics #mine

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

After some very eventful weeks of Jason’s debut as the Red Hood he takes a well deserved night off and decides to crash in one of his safe houses.

He did not count on one of the Bats finding him there.

So to keep his plans from being torpedoed entirely Jason goes with the split second decision of pretending he was held captive by the Red Hood.

#Jason I-did-not-Plan-this-through Todd #Jason pretends he got kidnapped by—- himself #he’s going the full victim act here #breaking out the tears for this one #maybe Batman and Nightwing find him #and it’s a huge shock for everyone involved #Jason has that one moment of ‘do I shoot them?’ #and then promptly decides to enter an a grade acting class by crying for his ‘family’ to please save him from the red hood #jason todd #batfamily #dick grayson #bruce wayne #batfam #robin #tim drake #red hood #batman #prompts #fanfiction #fanfic #batfam fic #batdad #under the red hood #Au #alternate universe

[ghostdoodlen]

Old art from October

I've just realized I really like Tired but capable Sunshine x Dangerous Rich Kid With Terrible Social Skills

#ibispaintx #fanart #digital art #marinette dupen chang #kagaminette #felinette #daminette #alya cesaire #mlb x batman #mlb x dc #sunshine x would make you cry #best way i can think to describe the three #ash's doodles #maribat

[mylifeingotham]

#bruce 🥹 #you’re making me cry #batman #bruce wayne #robin #gotham #batman and robin #damian wayne al ghul #jason todd #dick grayson #batfamily #batfam #dc comcis #detective comics #batman comics #dc comics #comic #comic books #comics #batbros #batdad #the wayne bros #the wayne family #the waynes #bruce wayne batdad #bruce wayne batman #batdad for life #brucie wayne #brucie #dc characters

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 112

Once again, you know who is underutilized in DCxDP crossovers? Battinson. Skrunkly shivering boi. Who we should definitely give children to care for. 

 Did you know that Jason canonically had a brother named Danny? Well you do now, and it should also be used more. 

 We all want to give Battinson a robin, so why not give him four for the price of two. He of course gets Dick from the circus- he’s never going to go into public again, this was the first time he’d gone to do something out of his comfort zone for a while and look how that turned out. 

 And on one of the nights that Dick has to stay home (Alfred insists he must finish his homework if he wants to go out on patrol) Bruce returns to the batmobile to find not one child, but two. Is Danny reincarnated? Just appeared one day? Who knows, but he’s here now and going to protect his little brother. 

 Bruce might have tears in his eyes when they both hit him in the kneecaps and bolt because even with the armor it still hurts. How he manages to grab both kids he’s not too sure, but he ends up getting them food after they put the tires back. He also doesn’t understand how he’s convinced them into the car but they’ve both conked out and maybe he’s panicking and needs Alfred- 

 D-Dick why is there another child here? He’s the neighbor, cool cool. W-what do you mean he’s home alone, he’s like, 4?? What do you mean he’s been alone for a week now???

…

Alfreeeeed-

#dcxdp #dpxdc #prompts #battinson #Bruce is a skrunkly lil meow meow the kids feel bad about hitting #Danny felt bad the moment he got a taste of the dude's emotions #Selina returning to Gotham covered with cats clinging to her: #Bruce covered with several small children: #“I have a problem with strays” #Alfred is so tired #He comes back from getting groceries for dinner to three new children #all sprawled out on the couch with Dick and Bruce and a movie credits on in the background #they were watching Gray Ghost and eating shredded cheese #Dick a ten year old: Hi there tiny neighbor you are alone and that is bad so come with me please I have snacks #Tim a five year old who has never been taught stranger danger: omg sure Robin #Dick: What #Tim holding his hand: :) #Danny looking at Batman: He gonna cry :( #Jason: No he aint #Danny: You can feel the misery #Danny: It's like kicking a puppy :( #Jason: Shit u right #Both of them looking into the Batmobile now that the door is open: Why is there a box of coloring books and a kid carseat #Omg it's bat themed #There's also a blanket #Why yes it is for long patrols #Also random but I feel like Battinson would be aided by a longer cape #Let battinson become a batblob and disappear into a corner