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  1. For every A+ that Damian bring home, Selina gets him another cat
  2. The mothering started long before she and Bruce got married. When Jason was a teenager, Selina constantly reminded him to tuck in his shirt, tie his shoes, and quit sagging his pants (she still does that to this day)
  3. We ignore the weird Catgirl canon Every day, Carrie and Selina take a selfie with whatever animal filter Snapchat has this time, and on Carrie’s birthday they create a timelapse video of them all
  4. On weekends, Selina takes over with breakfast (barring Bruce from the kitchen) so Alfred can sleep in. Everything she makes—pancakes, waffles, toast, eggs, fruit, etc.—is cat-shaped. She even serves orange juice in a cat-shaped pitcher
  5. When the kids ask Bruce if they can do something, Bruce tells them, “Go ask your mother”
  6. Canon sucks and I hate when women are needlessly pitted against each other Bruce is the dad and Alfred is basically a grandfather figure, but with the amount of kids in the house, Selina sometimes needs an extra hand with mom stuff. Her go-to? Talia Al Ghul
  7. Selina will only let Duke hang out with the We Are Robin kids after he finishes his homework
  8. One day Steph comes to Selina in a huge panic because she needed a homecoming dress at the last minute after her other one tore. Selina got her covered not just with that, but also matching shoes, jewelry, and hair and makeup
  9. Games like Clue (and recently, Among Us) get intense between Selina and Babs. They’re equally skills but in two different ways—Babs can think as a detective while Selina can think as the perpetrator 
  10. Parties and galas get stressful and tiring for Cass after a certain period of time, so she and Selina came up with a nonverbal “let’s get the heck out of here” cue. They usually grab ice cream after
  11. Alfred taught her how to brew English tea and she taught him how to slice vegetables with cat claws
  12. She and Harper went to Ikea, saw one of those one-legged chairs, went, “Neat”, and bought one for every room in the house
  13. The first batkid to call her “Mom” was Tim, who, after working on a case for seventy-two hours nonstop and on the edge of giving up, stumbled into her office and had a mental breakdown. After listening to him vent and putting him to bed, she marched downstairs and gave Bruce an earful because how could he let his own son do that to himself?
  14. When Dick was in school, his class had a career day, but Bruce was on a business trip and couldn’t make it. As a surprise, Selina showed up and talked all about her career as a… um… diamond expert
  15. The first time Selina rearranged the furniture in the house was to move Cullen’s wardrobe away from the window and let sunlight in
  16. There was no question about whether or not she’ll fit into the role after marrying Bruce
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Duke: Someday, in the distant future, humans will once again be capable of hearing the phrase "what is love" without also feeling the primal urge to respond with "baby don't hurt me".
Dick: So at that point, people will say "baby don't hurt me"... no more?
707 notes · See All
Roy: Thanks to Duolingo, I can ask people if they are a horse but can't tell people what my name is in French.
Jason: Ask me if I'm a fucking horse. I dare you.
Roy: Tu es un cheval?
Jason: Nay.
Roy: Oh you MOTHERFUCKER—
1K notes · See All
Dick, leaving with Jason, Tim, and Damian: Bruce, we’re going out! If we don’t come back, avenge our deaths!
Bruce, from the other room: Alright!
2K notes · See All
Stephanie: Every time I have a conversation with you I waste hours of my life. You’re just too interesting.
Cassandra: I can stop being interesting. Watch this.
Cassandra: *freezes*
Cassandra:
Stephanie: Hello?
Cassandra:
Stephanie: Okay, well now I have to stay here and see how long you can keep this up.
746 notes · See All
Cullen: I can’t believe you live nearby and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.
Jason: You people already know too much about me.
Cullen: I know exactly three facts about you and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.
726 notes · See All
Damian: I’m adopting a blue whale and keeping it in my bathtub.
Arthur: Damian, blue whales can grow over one hundred feet.
Damian: Clearly you haven’t seen my bathtub.
869 notes · See All
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