#batman made a funny

[beechfruit]

So in my class we name our glue sticks to stop the kids losing or mistreating them - they're much less likely to lose a glue lid if you're shouting "oh no, Alfred's been decapitated". It's fun.

Now, I'm a big batfam girlie ✨ so naturally I named all our glues after these characters. We have Richard and Bruce and Stephanie and Barbara etc. you see the point.

Recently, the first glue stick ran out. It had to go in the bin so unfortunately it "died", and you'll never guess which glue stick was the first to die...

It was Jason.

You could not conceive the sound I made as I had to throw Jason in the bin as all the children shouted things like "Jason's dead" and "noooo Jason!"

Worst things worse, I couldn't even explain how ironic that was that Jason, the second robin, was the first glue to go!

#jason todd #batfam #batman #robin #red hood #gluesticks #funny #storytime #death in the family #only this family is made of gluesticks #rip jason todd #bat family #dc comics #dc universe #dcu

[shyjusticewarrior]

Template made by @kdd-works

#dc #dc comics #comics #character alignment #memes #i made this #batfam #batfamily #batkids #batboys #batgirls #cassandra cain #orphan #duke thomas #the signal #stephanie brown #spoiler #tim drake #red robin #damian wayne #robin #jason todd #red hood #funny #humor #batman characters #alignment chart

[spacedace]

Something I've seen in fics a few times but not for comedic effect is the idea that Constantine selling his soul so many times makes him look/feel Wrong to ghosts.

Like I love various Danny ghost shenanigans giving Constantine a heart attack in stories but just imagine that Constantine is like deeply, deeply unsettling for Ghosts & Liminals to be around.

To the point of whenever he and Danny meet for the first time at the Watchtower after Danny's joined the League, Constantine just walks in and upon turning to look at who just walked in Danny just shrieks like a small child and throws a chair at him out of reflex, diving behind Captain Marvel to use him as a magical human meat shield while screeching "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT???! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!" At the top of his lungs and doesn't stop until Batman makes Constantine leave.

Even after Zantanna explains Constantine's whole deal and Danny explains to the Justice League how totally fucked up that looks/feels like to him ("Dude, Ghosts are their core, for us you see that before you see the shape of whoever you're talking to. Like, imagine someone walks up to you with a face that looks like it's made out of a shattered plate and the pieces are bleeding"

Or like, imagine instead it's a thing were Jason and Jazz are dating and Jazz, Danny & Elle are invited over for a nice meet the family brunch - "Brunch is fun and casual!" Dick insisted, "Way less intimidating than if we had them over for dinner!") and Constantine pops in to talk to Bruce about a case.

And the second he walks into the room all three just shriek like they're from an episode of Scooby Doo.

Elle takes one look at Constantine and just nopes out of there so hard she doesn't even gk intangible as she throws herself out the window and starts flying for the hills. Danny screeches like a cat whose tail has been stepped on and jumps onto the ceiling and scrambles away. Jazz screams like a house wife from an old Looney Tunes cartoon and starts climbing Jason like a tree - which is a bit of a problem since she's half a foot taller than Jay and throwing his center of balance off a bit and now half of the plates are smashed on the floor.

Jason doesn't even notice though because he also is losing his shit over what the fuck that thing is and unlike Elle is far more interested in Fight rather than Flight and pulls out a gun - "Why'd you bring a gun to brunch?! Guns aren't fun or casual!" - and just starts unloading on Constantine (who is very lucky Jason has switched to non lethal rounds and that he's quick enough with his spells to largely keep most of the rubber bullets from hitting him) also while screaming at the top of his lungs.

And well, turns out Jason's new girlfriend is the older sister of that ghost hero the League's been looking to recruit and Bruce is gonna take advantage of that - Phantom has been hard to pin down, which is fair, bad history with government agencies trying to kill him and all - to talk to him about a place with JL, though first he's going to have to get him down from the ceiling and that'd be a lot easier if Constantine would just leave already, they are supposed to be having a family brunch this is his one day off!

(Elle screams her all the way to Metropolis and doesn't stop until she nearly knocks Superman out of the sky. He isn’t really sure what's going on, but he does manage to calm her down and takes her to go get some ice cream. When he pitches joining JL she tells him that she thinks he's kinda lame but that Superboy is cool so she's down. It's...honestly kinda devastating but Clark manages to get through it.

A note gets made when the two ghost heroes officially join the League that partnerships with Constantine should be kept at an absolute minimum.)

And lol yeah, just, Constantine being utterly terrifying to Danny and the Pham

#dc x dp #dp x dc #batman #danny phantom #justice league #danny fenton #danielle phantom #dani phantom #danielle fenton #jazz fenton #jason todd #john constantine #anger management #Constantine thinks it's kinda funny #once they get to the point that no one instinctively tries to kill him on aight anymore #he likes to sneak up on Danny just to make him jump through the ceiling #batman made him stop after Danny activated his Wail while screaming for half a second & nearly shattered all the windows in the Watchtower #Danny gets all of Constantine's soul contracts just to make John stop looking like that #Constantine immediately took the blank slate and started his favorite hustle again

[arunneronthird]

one of the funniest things about grown up jon is he hasnt gone to school for 7 years and if no one else used this knowledge i will

#yes i still hate that they made him grow but i cant stay mad at grown up jon cause someone has to draw him being funny #might as well be me #yes i used comic sans yes u cant stop me #jon kent #damian wayne #tim drake #robin #superboy #superman #batman #i know hes not here its just thats my tag for dc stuff #dc comics #red robin #my art #supersons #ladies. gentlemen. you have eaten well.

[ivy-and-ivory]

I’m sorry but the canon titans tower fight is so funny to me. Jason why are you wearing a Robin costume. Jason where did you get the adult-sized Robin costume. Did you buy it Jason. Jason did you buy an adult-sized Robin costume to beat up your little brother. Jason did you buy it from Spirit Halloween. Jason please. Please.

#he is unhinged #i love him #maybe he commissioned it or made it himself but I don’t care #the spirit halloween hc is so fucking funny to me #jason todd #tim drake #batman #ivy rambles

[marshmallow---pillow]

Tim: So what was death like? Was it peaceful?

Jason: There was nothing a vast emptiness for my soul to rot now I know why god fears death

Dick, not looking up from his phone: ALFREDDDDDD THEY'RE MAKING PARA-SUICIDAL JOKES AGAIN

#Dw dw Alfred made them put 50$ in the therapy jar #jason todd #batman #Dick Grayson #tim drake #jason went to heaven he's just fucking w tim #it backfires and now he's getting the unruly cat spray bottle treatment #Kay's funnies

[distort-opia]

Its very funny to think about how both bruce and joker have shrines of eachother.

Imagine dick sees all the joker photos and items that bruce keeps at the batcave and goes "hmm....." then at a mission he ends up at joker's safehouse that has a bunch of photos of batman and missing batarangs and newspapers with batman headlines and goes "hmm....."

To be fair, Bruce is a hoarder-- he collects trophies and mementos from most of his cases, and a lot of his encounters with crime involve Joker, so it's explainable why the Cave is so full of Joker-related memorabilia. And Joker is a self-proclaimed Batman-obsessed freak, so I don't think anyone would bat (heh) an eye at him having walls plastered with Batman posters either.

With Bruce it's once again a matter of degree. Sure, he collects things related to all his villains. But does he discover that his mother is Joker in an alternate Universe and then has a huge-ass custom made his-mother-as-Joker card to put next to his already existing Joker-from-his-own-universe card??

The New Golden Age #1

Does Joker ruin his life (again) by fucking up his relationship with his fiance (again) and taking away all his money, forcing him to relocate from the Manor and create a different base of operations... to which he only brings the huge Joker card??

Batman (2016) #106

It's stuff like this, y'know, that I would really like someone to call out within Universe. Let Dick or Khoa or Selina actually go "Hey Bruce! This is kinda weird!" What's funny to me though is that apparently, Dick has talked about this stuff with Bruce, but... he explained the dynamic between Batman and Joker and how it works on a symbolic level to Bruce? Which is frankly fascinating:

Batman: Hush #7

It does make sense, Dick grew up with the whole insanity. He probably understands it best out of the Batfam. He caught Joker in his beginnings, too; he fought Joker when he still did fun harmless gags, before he went full murderous monster. Still, it's hilarious to imagine a twelve-year-old having to sit Bruce down and seriously explain to him how his relationship with his nemesis works, because Bruce is just that repressed and emotionally stunted about it. (Sure, you could argue that Dick did this when he was Nightwing, but I think this is funnier.)

#lol. sorry Anon you were being funny and I made this serious #alas. what little freaks they are about each other #asks #batman #batjokes #batjokes meta #bruce wayne #joker #dick grayson

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

Brain dead au where Jason was planning on pulling a Bruce.

Only to see Tim pulling the cowl equivalent of goo goo eyes during the middle of an Arkham breakdown.

Ahh hell..

~~~~~~

Jason, dumping a bucket of water on a chained up Tim: RISE AND SHINE TIMBIT!! IT’S TIME FOR A CHAT!

Tim jolts awake: wha- Jason?? What the f- why?

Jason casually circles around Tim: Quite simple Replacement! You’re fucking with my plans again and quite frankly neither of us like it when we have to have this little chat.

Tim: I have no fucking clue what you’re talking about. You know Alfred isn’t going to approve of the theatrics-

Jason: DON’T BRING ALFIE INTO THIS! Besides I think he would be quite proud of me right now. Using my words, he’s been trying to get Bruce to do the same thing since he was eight.

Tim: look I haven’t been trying to fuck with anything-

Jason: oh contrary little Timmers! Blue eyes black hair. Occasionally green and white. Nearly beats Dickie in wordplay and somehow has befriended the demon brat well enough that he has the honor of first name basis.*whirls around to glare at Tim* You are not as fucking slick as you think you are.

Tim:….

Jason: So here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to go home and nap. Get at least six hours and then clean up. Choose something nice to wear and ask him out. Treat him like a fucking gentleman and stay off everything but emergency coms. AM I CLEAR?

Tim: c-crystal..

Jason: good. I was planning on pulling a simple Bruce on him and all that but if this works out than I don’t even need to do any of the heavy lifting. But if this doesn’t than I’m letting you know that you are not going to enjoy any of the family dinners afterwards.

#it is quite impressive that Danny was able to make Tim forget all about this incident only 10 minutes into dinner #Jason and the rest of the clan very much stalked their entire date #it was very frustrating for Tim #Danny just thought it was funny #brain dead #this just in: redhood has kidnapped a Wayne child off the street #no ransom has been made and asked to comment Mr. Wayne just sighed and pinched his eyebrow #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #danny fenton #danny phantom #batman #dc x dp #shipping #tim drake #jason todd #alfred pennyworth

[betterthanbatman1]

THE PROPORTIONS IM CACKLING

#I’m so sorry sweetie they made you the size of a Barbie doll #His arm is wider than her waist 😭 #I fucking can’t with this art #I’m not even upset it’s just so ridiculous it’s actually funny #jason todd #red hood #batfamily #selina kyle #catwoman #Catwoman/Batman Gotham wars #Gotham war

[scanndan]

JL: You made Batman smile?

Lateef: What, like it's hard?

Superman (2016) #41

#funny: jl having to accept that they're just not funny enough for batman #sweet: batman's smile threshold is much lower for children #the kid told him a joke! what was he supposed to do? NOT smile? and ruin their day?? not THIS batman! #in other news this issue almost made me cry. the moon rocks... #dc #dc comics #superman rebirth #superman (2016) #justice league #clark kent #bruce wayne #diana prince #victor stone #barry allen #arthur curry

[bepoucorp]

Batman: Arkham Asylum gifs (wholesome)

#batman arkham asylum #batman #gif #gif set #eyestrain #cw flashing #im sorry LMAO #the fear toxin part is so funny #lmk if i need to cw that rat gif #gifs #bruce wayne #arkham asylum #i love him #i made this #bepoucorp #batman: arkham asylum #arkhamverse

[dzasta15]

The Batman (2022)

#batman 2022 #dano riddler #dc riddler #edward nashton #batman #comic #doodle dump #d-art #the riddlers parasocial relationship with bat is so fucking funny #also all the cards he makes for bats are custom made . that man is at the craftstore every three days

[shyjusticewarrior]

#dc #dc comics #comics #comic books #batfamily #batfam #batkids #jason todd #my edits #i made this #funny #funny headlines #memes #funny memes #detective comics #batman characters #red hood #jason peter todd #cw gun mention #humor #character appreciation

[bluerosefox]

Teeny-Tiny Kitten

“I wish I had actual parents.”

“So you have wished it, so shall it be.”

Danielle “Ellie” Phantom makes a wish on a shooting star one night when close by Amity Park, not realizing Desiree was out for the night.

The next time she wakes up, she’s being picked up and a warm female voice asks

“Now, who on earth left this tiny and frankly adorable kitten out here. I need to have some words with them should I be bothered to find them.”

“Sel- Catwoman... That’s a baby not a stray kitten. You can’t keep her.” responded a deeper and graveled voice close by.

“Hush Mr. Serial Adopter. I know the moment I put her down you’re gonna whisk her off to that manor of yours and then hear on the news about a new Wayne next week. You have your birds, let me have this teeny-tiny kitten for myself.”   

#Danny Phantom #danielle phantom #dani phantom #deaged Dani #ellie phantom #selina kyle #catwoman #bruce wayne #batman #Dani accidentally made a wish when Desiree was out #and got deaged to a baby and got spirited away to Gotham #Danny was right behind Desiree chasing her down when he saw the wish happen #so now he's looking for his now baby clone #Selina finds baby Dani 'Ellie' on a rooftop #she jokingly thinks of adopting her once she see's the blue eyes and black hair #Bruce is with her due to them wanting some alone time #he doesn't have a comeback to her poking fun of his adopting habit #The reaction by the other bats though are funny #Dick: I KNEW YOU AND SELINA WOULD HAVE AN OOPS BABY! #Damian: FATHER! I TOLD YOU WEAR PROTECTION WHEN WITH THE THIEF! #Jason: Really Selina you could do so much better than the old man. At least this one is way better than the last spawn of Bruce's #Tim:... huh secretly born baby wasn't part of our betting pool better call Steph to see where that lands on it #Cass:.....Baby sister :) #Duke:..... Why are you all like this? -knows there was no way Selina was pregnant and hiding it for months- #Ellie despite being deaged to a baby finds out she.. doesn't outright hate it #a little strange but she's enjoying it #Alfred is over the moon with taking care of baby Ellie #danny phantom dc #dp x dc #crossover

[missbluesunflowersstuff]

"Dick was an abusive brother to Jason" "Dick was aggressive with Jason" "Dick gave Robin to Damian" "Damian stole the Robin mantle" my brother in Batman, no one of those words are in the bible! Wtf are you into about?

#i understand when people made funny dark or yandere headcanons or aus it's nice being creative #and create new things with the guys in your head but pls for the love of batman don't use your personal headcanon as original material #and i say this as someone who love do headcanon #alfred is the one who give the robin to damian #dick was and STILL is a good brother to jason and the others #dick was never aggressive or abusive with robin!jason #dick was mand with bruce cuz bruce was irresponsible but dick like jason #the pre crise dick grayson wanted to adopt jason todd (and later he also wanted to adopt damian) #so for the fuck sake don't act like your personal and fav au is canon to justification of your demonization #batfamily #dc comics #dick grayson #jason todd #damian wayne #bruce wayne #tim drake #batfam headcanons #batfam #stephanie brown

[theglidingbat]

Need to draw this as Ghostbat +Harley/clownhunter....

Edit:

I did it.

#bruce wayne #batman #ghostbat #minhkhoa khan #ghostmaker #harley quinn #decided to be extra funny and made jason suffer instead #jason todd driving the batmobile as his dad-mom makes out with his ex boyfriend #the only time bruce let one of his drive the batmobile #can you tell I got lazy with the colouring halfway through #I am not in the mood to render today sorry girlies