Tumgik
#bats are cooler than unicorns and i stand by that
one-coming-is-enough · 7 months
Note
ANGELS AND DEMONS ARE DINOSAURS? what do you mean WHY would you INSULT the dinosaurs :(
They don't swim, so they can't be fish.
They fly, which means they're birds. Which, as I am reliably informed, are actually just small dinosaurs in disguise.
Which I thought made sense, but now I'm learning that birds aren't even real?!?!
Tumblr media
So if birds came from dinosaurs, which aren't real, then it stands to reason that birds aren't real either.
But then what did Mom make for Shabbos dinner? Fake chicken? Wait, chickens don't fly. So they can't be birds. Which means chickens are real. Obviously they are, I eat them all the time.
So the only real birds are bats, chickens, and angels. Yeah?
Dinosaurs obviously aren't real, but dragons, unicorns, and angels are.
Dinosaurs are cooler than angels and I apologize to all dinosaurs. I will be sure to write the names of each species in the Book of Life when I get it, right next to @the-metatron 's family, Alan Rickman, and the dodo.
8 notes · View notes
Note
i just read one of the worst written fics i have ever come across, can you give me a bat fact as brain bleach?
Hi!!! Sorry it took me so long to respond, I was traveling this weekend. Hopefully I'm not too late with the brain bleach!
Let's talk about Honduran White Bats!!!!!
Tumblr media
These guys build tents. For real. They cut big leaves with their teeth and arrange them into little tents to chill in with their buddies. These tents serve to keep them dry, undetected by predators, and also they provide excellent temperature control for their babies.
Speaking of babies, these bats are somewhat unique for giving birth twice a year. Most bats only give birth once a year. This might be because they live in a place where it's pretty much the same temperature year-round and they don't have to hibernate, but no one is really sure because there's not a lot of research on it yet.
They also only eat basically one species of fig, which is pretty wild. Picky eaters, I guess. Like, they CAN eat other fruits, and they will in a pinch, but they just really freaking love that one fig and go nuts for it.
They are one of three species of bat with white fur like this. They still fly at night, but they don't need to camouflage as much because nothing really actively hunts them and their prey is unsuspecting figs, not insects, so they don't really need to hide. However, while their bodies are white, their wings are black, which means that, at night, they kinda just look like flying puffballs and I am eternally amused by this.
Tumblr media
Like, imagine walking around at night and all of a sudden you just see this angelic little white ball of fluff flying around, eating figs. Amazing. So pure.
14 notes · View notes
marshmallowatheart · 6 years
Text
To All The Boys I've Loved Before (Part 16)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15)
“Okay, what’s going on?” Logan finally asks, hands on the steering wheel and eyes on the road but he’s too well attuned with his surroundings to not notice the giggling kids in the back seat.
“Heather and Darrell are playing cupid,” Veronica remarks, chewing on a piece of liquorice as she twists around in her seat to get a look at the giggling duo.
“Cupidress,” Heather corrects. “Or well you could just go ahead and call me Aphrodite, the goddess of love.”
Logan chuckles, brows perking up, amused, “Alright, Miss Goddess of Love, who are you aiming your arrows at?”
Veronica tilts her head and informs him, “Nope, Cupid’s the one with the bow and arrow," she points directionless at him with her liquorice as he drives. "Aphrodite has a magic girdle.”
His lips curves, remarking, “Chill out Athena, I was talking to Aphrodite here.”
Veronica rolls her eyes, munching away, trying to focus herself on the scenery outside instead of the boy next to her. “Sure, Poseidon, get back to your mixed up mythical references.”
“Sheesh, someone’s testy this morning.”
“Not all of us can sleep through the car ride like Wallace here," she jerks her thumb in the direction of the back seat where Wallace is leaning his head against the window, snoozing away until they reach the zoo. "And I didn't get enough sleep last night."
"Thoughts of me?" He quips, batting his lashes. "Hey, I get it. Sometimes I’m up all night, just thinkin’ about myself.”
She resists the urge to smack his shoulder since he's driving and settles for making him regret his unwanted snark. "Actually I was baking a chocolate cake for us to have for dessert but guess who just cost himself a slice?"
Logan groans, he wants to look at her with pleading eyes but he doesn't want to take his eyes off the road for too many seconds. "C'mon, Veronica, don't I get credit for driving us all there?"
"Nope, you wanted to drive," she mercilessly points out.
"Heather asked me to drive," he retaliates. "Who am I to deny the kid her wish?"
Veronica sneers at the reminder. "I drive perfectly fine, thank you very much and if she had a such a problem she could have rode with Dad and Mrs Fennel."
"No!" Heather objects, almost leaping out of her seat to defend her choices but thankfully has on her seatbelt holding her down. "The whole point is that Dad and Alicia can have some alone time!"
"Oh," Logan lets out, comprehending who her two victims of love were.
"And she said you drive like you're in a NASCAR game," Darrell points out and Heather objects with a loud hey for the treachery. He shrugs, "That's what you get for sticking me with the middle seat."
"Urg!" Veronica huffs. "That happened once! And I thought we were being followed by the E-String Strangler. And maybe you shouldn't get any cake either."
"Who wants a piece of the leaning tower of Pisa anyway?" Heather snarks. "Besides we want ice cream for dessert, not cake."
Veronica lets out a long psshhttt sound and grumbles, "It goes down your throat the same either way."
--vm--
“We’re getting on the bus!” Keith eagerly says, map in hand, ready to go.
“Dad, no," Veronica whines, she's hungry and hot and wants to just sit and eat something - anything - before they start their journey from one end of the zoo to the other.
“It’s only half an hour Veronica. Half the zoo, half an hour," he emphasises like it's a bargain they can't possibly pass up on.
"I've got snacks," Alicia interjects and Veronica's eyes are drawn to the overly big beach bag that Alicia's carrying. "You can have some to tide you over until we can eat," she offers with a smile and Veronica eagerly accepts, looking at her best friend's mother like she's a savour sent from above.
"Sandwiches are life savers," Veronica hums happily, settling on the upper level of the double decker bus with Logan next to her. She admits, it is easier to take the bus but hunger takes precedence over everything else and Veronica's never been more grateful for Mrs Fennel.
Logan chuckles, nodding his head and stares at her adoringly. Yesterday while surfing he'd come to many revelations; one being that he's gonna show Veronica just how real they are. He's come to understand her a lot in their short time together and knows he can't lay out his feelings to her just yet.
She'd been firm in the fact that she doesn't want to date him and doesn't like him but he feels like that's changed - they've changed - in the sense that she does care about him, has fun with him, can be honest with him and maybe all these feelings were always there buried underneath the spells of her letter. And now he's opened the letter - broken the spell - he's seen her bared feelings and he wants to open her heart and see what's in there now.
She's been hurt, she has trust issues and she'd rather leave before she's left. She has all these pre-determined notions in her head and he's hoping he can deconstruct each one and in time she'll come to see him as he sees her.
So he's doing his best, showing her he likes her, showing her she can trust him and showing her that he's there - that he's going to be there. And he can see that she's doing the same even if she doesn't realize it yet.
“Ronica," Heather says, bright eyed as she turns from her seat in front of them. "Make sure to take out some good koala-ty pictures,” she giggles and nudges Darrell, who's looking excitedly at said Koalas and giggles along with her.
“Don’t worry, she’s got the koalafications,” Logan winks, instantly joining in before Veronica can make a snarky remark.
"And if she's underkoalafied, we just have to bear with it," Darrell outright laughs along with Heather, the two thoroughly enjoying themselves the moment they stepped out of their houses.
"So glad I could be of amoosement to you," Veronica remarks, straight-faced and seemingly exasperated. The kids giggle wildly and Logan chuckles, happy that she's not really upset and Veronica obligingly snaps shots of the Koalas hugging the trees and eating leaves.
"Guess what," Wallace leans forward in his seat, his head popping between Logan and Veronica, startling the couple.
"You've finally found where they're stashing the unicorns?" Veronica pipes, hope springing in her eyes.
"It's better than unicorns, Vee," he grins widely, suddenly full of energy unlike his earlier slumberly state.
"Damn, man," Logan chuckles. "You've got it bad."
"You would know," Wallace reproaches, nudging Logan with his shoulder from the back.
Logan peaks at Veronica and she shakes off his look. "Is this about Georgia?" She asks, brow arches, already knowing the answer.
He bobs his head. "She said she can meet me at the zoo. Isn't that great?"
"Ronica," Heather calls out once again. "Look," she says, pointing to an Orangutan swinging on the tree. "It's you!" She bursts out in giggles.
Veronica huffs. "Oh and look at that, you're right there next to me," she sticks out her tongue, unwilling to be defeated by her little sister.
"Who's the eleven year old, again?" Wallace chuckles, shaking his head.
"I'm eleven and a half," Heather points out, firm in the fact that she's not merely eleven anymore.
“Oh, hey, Heather, look it’s you,” Veronica smirks, gesturing to the Tasmanian Devil, a cheeky smug look on her face while Heather gasps.
“I happen to think it’s adorable,” Logan winks, earning Veronica a playfully triumph tongue out from Heather.
--vm--
Heather obsesses over getting a picture with everything. And more so, she obsesses over getting Logan and Veronica to take coupley pictures together whenever she sees coupley things. Like if two animals are being cute together or if there's statues that seem romantic - not that there are many - except maybe for this one particular statue. It's a statue of a sailor, dipping a nurse and kissing her full on the mouth.
Veronica hasn't denied her sister much but this is one of the things she simply cannot do and Heather whines, "C'mon, Ronica, it'll be so romantic! I mean you dragged Logan to the zoo and you can't even give him one kiss?"
Veronica gaps at her little sister. "You dragged Logan to the zoo and I'm not gonna kiss Logan like that here with dad right there! I'm not insane."
Heather concedes the point but she's not happy with it. "Urg, fine, but I still want a picture of you two with the statue. I need proof to send Meg that you actually have a boyfriend."
Veronica sighs, she's been meaning to tell Meg about Logan's new role in her life and now that everyone but Meg knows, she really doesn't have much of a choice.
She's standing next to Logan, their fingers laced with a camera ready smile in front of the statue as Heather snaps a picture and shakes her head, asking them to try another pose.
It takes three more tries before Heather is satisfied with one where they're gazing into each others eyes.
Tumblr media
She leaves them be and turns to her father, begging him to let her take one out with him and Alicia.
Keith chokes back a cough while Alicia chuckles, accepting the request. Veronica's just glad that Heather didn't demand they kiss in front of the statue like she'd done with her and Logan.
--vm--
“I am a koalafied match-maker,” Heather brags, puffing out her chest and twirling around like the power of love has given her unreserved energy even though it's the end of the day and everyone else is exhausted.
“Oh, are you now?” Veronica arches her brow, she's holding Logan's hand and they're walking up a nearby park to set up a nice evening picnic. Alicia has prepared a variety of food and kept it in a warmer in the car along with a cooler filled with water and soda. They also have Veronica's homemade chocolate cake for dessert that Veronica's been coaxed into sharing with Logan. And Logan has somewhat been coaxed into getting ice cream for the two kids - three kids including Veronica.
"Mmmhmm," Heather hums, she's smiling wide, proud and again she's got that 'I know something you don't know' look on her face. "Just look at you and Logan.”
Veronica's hand tightens it's hold on Logan's. “Me and Logan?”
Heather notices the look on her sister's face and freezes, decidingly changing her mind from saying anything more because one, Veronica looks stricken and two, she doesn't know if Logan's supposed to know what she knows.
Veronica stares at her little sister, she's got a feeling that she needs to know what Heather knows so she lets go of Logan's hand and dashes after the now running girl. She feels an adrenaline rush hit her because it all makes sense if what she thinks is true, she just doesn't know why her sister would do that to her.
"Heather, get back here," she calls out, she's the star of the soccer team and she's beaten Heather many a times at racing so it's only a matter of time until she catches her.
Logan stays rooted in his spot, deep confusion spreading over his face as he watches the girls get further and further away, everyone else is setting up for their evening picnic and he wonders if he should leave them to it or catch up. The moment Veronica had tightened her grip on his hand, he'd felt the tension right to her fingertips.
Heather is hiding behind a tree, darting back and forth so Veronica can't grab her. "Okay, I was the one that sent out the letters," she admits, hoping her honesty gets her some mercy points with her sister.
“I’m gonna kill you, you little brat," Veronica lunges across and Heather darts away as quick as her small body allows.
“Oh, come on, Ronica, Logan’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you," Heather makes her plea. She can see the difference in sister's life; everyone in Veronica's life let her live in her comfort zone and Logan brought her out of it in a way that didn't seem all that uncomfortable and Heather figures that's a rare thing to have.
“Veronica," Logan calls out, jogging to the girls.
“You didn’t have to send out all five!" Veronica says as she thinks of how messed up everything has gotten with Duncan and how she's now keeping secrets from Meg.
Heather pouts, puppy eyes are out and her head tilts, just like she'd learned from Veronica and she slightly shrugs, “I thought five chances at a boyfriend were better odds.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Logan holds Veronica steady before she could once again dart to her sister and Heather quickly runs behind Logan. “What’s going on?”
“Veronica’s being totally irrational," Heather says, her adrenaline rush catching up to her.
“I’ll show you irrational," Veronica grunts, trying to move away from Logan but he wraps his arms around her and holds her tight against him with a soft but firm, hey - a hey that's reminding her that she's going attack mode on her eleven year old sister.
“She sent out the letters," she tells him, her anger slowly subsiding.
“Oh," he lets out a breath and loosens his hold on he see her face. "Well, you can forgive her since it worked out, right?” He gives her a pointed look.
“I just wanted you to be happy, Veronica," Heather softly admits.
Veronica sighs. “I wasn’t unhappy.”
“But you’re happier with Logan, right?” Heather peaks, still slightly behind Logan but now can visibly see her sister's facial reaction.
“Right," Veronica pats Heather's hair, softly, letting her know that she's forgiven. "But you owe me one."
Logan leans down to Heather when Veronica starts to to walk away, "Hey, kiddo, I owe you one," he winks and Heather brightens, all regret officially thrown out the window.
"You better not hurt her, Lo," Heather warns. "Especially not since you've got the Mars seal of approval."
He chuckles, rubs a hand over her head like Veronica had done. "I don't intend to," he softly says. "Thank you, Heather."
She bobs her head, smiles widely and drags him along to the picnic; she's glad she invited him.
13 notes · View notes
mana-burst · 7 years
Text
Dream-Walker Journals- Sorrowful Sieges
Humming to herself the broken horned mare polished the battered helmet her father left behind, the worn golden guard carefully cleaned and shined as she settled on the roof of the bookshop before reaching for her journal.
-Dear Journal, War is not something that we learn about much here in equestria this much is true, but still we train guardsmen and soldiers who watch over our people for a time of darkness. It was weeks after my encounter with the fae and the forest pony that I ran into such a pair following the call in my dreams to the distant north and the frozen mountains.
As I climbed an icy path I came upon a ruined village that bore the mark of the moon, a bat pony sanctuary loyal to the princess of the night. The signs of battle were fresh and smoke still smoldered among the snow as prints of hooves and paws alike go separate ways in mass, some up the mountain further and some into the caverns nearby. The glint of spears met my gaze as I came round the bend and found the weary soldiers garbed in purples and gold on edge and confused at my presence.
As they escorted me in I saw the aftermath, cowering colts and fillies and wounded ponies with bite and claw marks upon them being cared for by medics and the town doctor, a deep sorrow running over me as I gazed upon the sight of blanket-covered figures in a cavern off to one side. The sound of shouting came from the back of one section as the soldiers spoke and argued "We can't let these mutts get away with this! Our retaliation must be swift before they regroup and come for us again." A young nightguard argued as cooler heads planned their defenses. "They struck first but we need to stomp them out and show them equestria won't stand for this sort of mockery!"
A murmuring and whispering chain spread around the cavern as a towering earth pony shook his head, urging the angry fang-toothed bat pony away from the table. The whimpering of the villagers caught my attention as I looked upon the cavern in shock, never had I seen such a thing in equestria at the time but over my journey it would become obvious how oblivious and sheltered I was. "Diamond Dogs... they came from within the mines like a flood, seeking new servants to work and dig and tunnel for them.." came an answer to a question I'd not yet asked, an old pony who's mane and beard were grizzled and gray with more winters to it than I'd been alive was it's source.
"They came first few at a time, but their numbers grew as they took more and more of us each day, were it not for a passing mailmare speeding off to get help we'd all have been taken into the deep dark and never seen again." He shook his head, sitting back and gazing at me as the soldiers moved about in preparation to defend the survivors. "What brings you up the mountain so far from the civil lands little lady? " The old pony asked as he watched me, and I felt a twinge of awkwardness as it all slowly dawned on me. "... I.. uh... I felt something in my dreams calling me here..." was the best response I could muster as the old pony watched me and I felt the eyes of several batpony upon me as I spoke of dreams.
A deep howl took attention off me as the soldiers scrambled, the striking picks and hammers of the diamond dogs crashing against the magical barrier the unicorns rose at the mouth of the cave. Spears and swords and shields prepared as the barrier quivered before it snapped like a bursting bubble and the hounds fell upon the guards in a clashing wave of fang and claw and hoof and horn. This was not what I anticipated when I followed the dreaming darkness.. the soldiers holding their ground in what seemed a losing game as the diamond dogs pushed at their defenses. Behind me I could hear the frightened whispering and sniffling of ponies and their foals and before me the worn soldiers stood fast, a voice echoing in the back of my mind.
"A guards' duty is to protect, we put hoof and wing and horn on the line for those to weak or to scared to fight, I did, and your ancestors did for generations. Looking out for the little guy is in your blood my little one." My father, it was something he reminded me of every year when we visited the memorial fields near canterlot. I don't know what that stirred in me but I felt something click, and I ended side-by-side with the guards of night and day a cracked blade held by my trembling magic as my horn sparked and I held an axe at bay.
The stories say that heroes are forged in the heat of the moment, I don't know if I believe that but I know that in trying times the weakest link can be tempered into a keystone and hold back the tide. The strain of the conflict felt distant and numb as I recalled the stories and lessons father told me and my blade pushed and drove back a diamond dog, beside me the towering stallion I saw before held strong with helmet and shoulders holding back a half dozen himself like a brick wall. Behind me the whispers grew and I felt the eyes on me as my hooves dug deep against the stone floor the sound of slicing blades whipping the air as a short bat pony twisted through the crowd, wings capped with blades cutting into the enemy and driving them back in yowls of pain and anger. A soldier to one side looked up "Biggs! Get clear and get reinforcements! We need backup!" and the bat pony scowled before he slipped through the crowd, vanishing with a streak of gray.
The soldiers cheered as they pushed back at the diamond dogs until a distant howl drew the enemies attention, the canine foes backing and scattering as the exhausted fighters cheered once more. Several unicorns came together once more to create a barrier and seal the entrance as the soldiers retreated to rest and recover, and I made my way over to collapse on the floor, horn sparking before I drifted into darkness.
Using magic to fight is worlds different than to do chores, or even train... it's draining at the best of times, and exhausting at the worst of times and wow did I feel exhausted after standing side by side with the soldiers. As I drifted into the dream scape I found myself within a vast and swampy cavern, the shaded visages of sleeping ponies sobbing as the shades of nightmares circled around them, milking in their fear and sorrow and whispering doomed fates and cursed misery upon them.. no wonder they couldn't stand and fight for themselves, so drained in their sleep like this.
I felt the slow and distant pale light once more as it crept in through deep cracks in the dream realm cavern and the nightmares froze to gaze upon me with the ravenous hunger for misery these dark shades have always had. The light was not as strong here compared to when it shone against the fae in the everfree forest and I felt the darkness encroaching and pushing on the fractured border it placed around me. "Reach out..." a soft voice whispered, deep and wise as it urged at the back of my mind "Forge the light, shield thyself before it falters!" it grew in volume as the nightmares clashed against the straining light. Forge the light, the words echoed in my head as I trembled before the terrifying darkness and I thought of what to do... and the shadows shimmered as memories deep flooded back into my thoughts.
A gray stallion stood between two mares as timber wolves swarmed from the tree-line, blood streaking from his face as he squared his shoulders and drew upon his magic. The blade of light shone with a deep silvery gray as he concentrated a shield of magic into a tight, sharp sword that struck through the tough wooden limbs. The mares cheered as the little painted unicorn stomped and jumped "Papa! Ya!" And my eyes snapped open in the dream and my magic flowed as it sparked and popped "Forge... the light... " I recall muttering as I focused and twisted the shimmering pale beams, the nightmares recoiling as they met the sharp edge of the floating edge. It hurt to focus.. to twist power that wasn't mine.. but I needed it, and I recalled the lessons father gave me once more as I stood against the nightmares and called out "Don't listen to the darkness! These are dreams and nothing else!"
The struggle was slow as I twisted the nightmares from the dream-figures and stood between them, my horn aching, my mind sore as I absorbed and deflected darkness with the pale blade.. a distant echoing horn catching in my ears as they flicked, and one by one the sleepers rose vanishing until I and the nightmares remained, a rage in their eyes like nothing I'd seen before. ".. Seems... we've had a wake-up call.. good morning~" I taunted, hearing their muffled screams as my eyes snapped open in the waking world.
The guard ponies stood their ground, as another assault of diamond dogs pressed at the defenses, beyond them it was like a wave of them, angry and snarling as they shouted and taunted.. more than we could hope to fight back. My legs trembled as I tried to stand until I felt the hoof of an old pony upon my shoulder "You stay down, it's our turn.. " he nodded as he and many of the tired and ragged civilians took up anything ranging from sticks, to pots and battered swords and shields. Again the echoing horn caused my ears to twitch just as the unicorns' barrier fell and the battle begin anew, soldiers and citizens side by side as they held back the canine foe.
A deep trembling came from above us as the sound of dozens and dozens more hooves echoed, the deep and prideful horn sounding as I glimpsed the shape of the smaller bat pony diving into the cave above the Diamond Dogs.
"Reinforcements have arrived sir! The Goats of Baariah!" he shouted as like a wave from above the goats fell upon the diamond dogs outside the cavern, small in stature but strong as almost any stallion I'd seen their blows struck and rung like thunder as the soldiers cheered and soon pushed outwards themselves. To tired to move I watched as the Goats and the Ponies struck in sync, pushing the diamond dogs back until a yelping howl sounded and the host of enemies broke, scattering down the mountainside as the defenders cheered and horns sounded.-
The sun slowly faded  beneath the skyline as the pony closed her journal, looking up as the silvery globe of the moon began to rise in it's stead and a smile crossed her face. "... I hope I did you proud that day father." She mumbled to herself as she laid down to watch the stars, bathed in the silvery light of the moon.
3 notes · View notes