#batshit

[batshit-auspol]

https://www.wattpad.com/story/255999488-mission-impossible-scete

felt like you needed to see this travesty

Pete had known tricksters and sly dogs in all his time as a half-spy half-bassist; but of all his enemies none had been quite so deceiving as Scomo.

This Pete Wentz Scomo fic may both the best and worst thing we've ever read (yet somehow still not even in the top 10 worst things involving Scomo)

#batshit #auspol

[anarchic-miscellany]

Did anyone have "Dev Patel makes working class trans rights John Wick, with a spiritual angle and a message saying fuck Modhi" on their bingo card? (I also appreciate that the movie didn't do the usual: "Break the cycle of violence" but instead went: "Nah mate, channel that shit and put it into being FUCKING BASED! Kill that fucking guy! Fuck him!")

#Monkey Man #Dev Patel #Movies #Batshit #Surprisingly good #Boney M #Jefferson Airplane

[sassclassnass]

At your service 💁🏼‍♀️🦇🎀

#bats #batshit #bat shit crazy

[grabowskibeepboop]

This was supposed to be part of my last post but I got way too carried away and wanted to make whole new post dedicated to the ship

Imma go full headcanon mode here, but I feel like Hobie's been going batshit over Miles even before they met, he'd ofc heard of him, shit maybe even spied on him, who knows, but he for sure knew him about as well as Gwen because she totally told him about him, and he was probably making the wrist band/watch (I did not watch it in english so I'm sorry if I get the name of something wrong) for a while, and I doupt he was making it for himself because he has one already, he could have been making it out of curiosity but he seems way too forward to do that (to me at least for some reason, idunno if that makes sense to anyone else), and I think he's totally the type to cause utter chaos for no reason, or at least reason that might just be his own headcanon, because I totally believe that he believes that Miles can fix everything that hole man over here ruined, because it was not Miles' fault at all, he didn't ask to be an anomaly, and yes, I'm totally wordvomiting rn, just ranting my brains out, but it has to come out of my system, and I hope there's at least one person out there who understands me, because I might just go crazy hahaha

Also if you see me use the word batshit too much, it's because I'm obsessed with it, it's a phase

#punkflower #flowerpunk #hobie x miles #miles x hobie #ship: punkflower #ship: miles/hobie #why does it have so many tags goddamnit is this the new bakudeku? #anygays #batshit

[maya-al-arts-blog]

#al art #my art #gothic #batshit

[kstripling]

#funny #meme humor #batshit #crazy

[ihadtomakethisaccount]

the roy siblings and the ten terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days

#season 4 is even more insane when i remember it’s only ten days #like they started as the rebel alliance #and less than two weeks later they’re all estranged #batshit #succession #succession season 4 #kendall roy #shiv roy #roman roy #connor roy #logan roy

[ilovehotavatars]

I'm over all terrified by her death stares 💀😵‍💫

#atwow #avatar #neteyam #neytiri #batshit #pandora #killing spree

[gael-garcia]

they really are following the Nazi textbook while at the same time screaming that they're the victims

#batshit #zionism #hollywood

[airyairyaucontraire]

Aotearoa is never going to have the quality or sheer quantity of political batshit that Australia engenders, but I feel I would be remiss in my duty not to inform you all that there is currently beef between Chumbawamba and the Deputy Prime Minister of New Zealand.

#nz politics #batshit #let's just say if you're going to throw inaccurate and offensive comparisons between indigenous representation and Nazi Germany around #don't play 'Tubthumping' at your public speaking engagements #(heavy sigh) paging John Oliver

[batslime]

What You Need

Cardinal Copia x F reader, nsfw

I had the idea and I had to curse you too. sorry

The two of you couldn’t wait to have the other any longer. The abbey doesn’t typically have many siblings of sin living in it at one time but during congregation you constantly caught his eye on you, and he caught yours looking too.

Cardinal Copia wasn’t what you’d call conventionally attractive yet he had such a charm about him. It didn’t take long for your half-interested glances to become lust infused leer. Both of you just so happened to find something to keep you busy just long enough so you could exit the worship hall side by side behind everyone else.

Copia was awkward with small talk but that didn’t keep him from making his intentions pretty clear to you. You didn’t think you’d find anyone here more horny than the Papas act on stage yet here he was. You wondered if he even realized how much his body language deceived him.

You fed into it long enough that the two of you wandered into a seldom-visited hall deeper in the bowels of the abbey. He stopped walking to face you while you spoke. Stepped closer. Closer again. A touch here and there. Before you really even thought about it you both had hands firmly gripping eachother, messily kissing. His eye shone so accusingly in the dark, lonely stone hall. Deliciously. At you.

Copia didn’t waste any time getting what he was after. It had to be lonely for him, one of the few full-time residents here, and he was making the most of what he had in the moment. As his lips kept yours busy his hands indulged in the rich meadows and hills of your body, cupping your breast and squeezing your waist, clawing at your behind, smacking the underside of it and rubbing his hands up and down your thighs afterwards as if in apology. You trembled and felt wetter than you had in some time. You weren’t typically one to have these kinds of ventures out of the privacy of your own room, and yet…

You needed him.

“Do you want it?” he asked in his heavy accent, leaned in against you, leaving no room for misinterpretation. His cassock tented under his midsection and already grinded against your own pubic area which undulated in rhythm with his, your right leg lifted in accommodation. “I’ll give it to you. Right here, right now. All you need to say is yes.”

“Yes, yes,” you couldn’t get it out fast enough, “please, Cardinal, fuck me! I need it!”

You hadn’t even gotten it all out yet before he hoisted your leg up higher, flipping the drape of your dress up over it and pulling your panties aside. He acclimated you, at first encompassing the entirety of your sex in a warm leather gloved hand, so good, you couldn’t take it, already your own breathing was hard to keep up with, before he let his middle finger find the center of your slit, sliding over your clit and down the length as the rest of the fingers cradled your labia. You moaned and threw your head back, your own hand undecided if it wanted to join his or to attempt to hush your mouth.

“Yes, good girl, let me hear how much you appreciate your Cardinal,” he cooed, burying the bridge of his nose into your now exposed throat. He roughly wriggled his hand in cadence, “yes, yes, yes, take it, you want more, do you?” came through gritted teeth.

“Yes, shit, pleeease, I want to feel you in me! Please!”

The Cardinal obliged.

He delved two fingers into your sopping wet pussy.

He felt a firm lump in your rectum.

He immediately pulled back.

“On second thought, Sister,” he said turning away to attempt, poorly, to conceal his gag, “have you seen the abbey kitchen yet? It’s up one floor and down the hall,” he kept going in the direction he’d turned without looking back. His voice grew fainter with every word. “You should speak to the kitchen ghouls. I think some olive oil could help you with what you need.”

#ghost band #the band ghost #ghost band fanfiction #copia x reader #cardinal copia x reader #cardinal copia #copia #papa emeritus iv #papa emeritus iv x reader #batshit #i had this idea while brushing my teeth which caused me to immediately vomit a little bit #like immediately. i didnt feel it coming it just happened #bat shit

[batshit-auspol]

For those that aren't in Australia right now, we have the funniest scandal going on.

Firstly let us introduce you to the eye of the storm: Sam Kerr. Sam is a women's soccer player who has in the last year become one of the most famous and beloved athletes in Australia. Captain of the women's national team, Sam became something of a cult figure after the last Women's Soccer World Cup became a complete unpredicted sensation in Australia, with the whole country getting behind the team.

Sam, up until now, has had probably one of the most squeaky clean images in sport. Generally in Australia it is not uncommon for our sports stars to be caught up in scandals involving drugs:

violence:

drinking their own urine:

or if you're cricket legend Shane Warne, probably all three at once.

Contrasting all this, Sam's image as the squeaky clean saviour for sport made it all the more shocking this last week, when it was announced that Kerr was to face trial after having been charged by the UK police of a "racially aggravated offence" involving a taxi driver.

This was shocking news. Nobody knew what to make of it. Sam was a model for young girls everywhere and a national treasure. "This is why we can't have nice things" screamed the nation. It seemed like all hope was lost.

That is, until, yesterday, when the UK police finally revealed the full details of the case, in which Sam Kerr, sporting legend, was arrested for vomiting in a cab, and then telling an intervening police officer that he was a “stupid white bastard”.

Now we probably don't need to point out that in Australia, vomiting in a taxi and then calling a cop a bastard is about as close to a national culture as we have.

You could not have come up with a better headline to make someone a national hero.

Needless to say, Sam in now being hailed down under as the greatest legend that ever lived, and a petition has already been started to have her picture added to the $5 note.

The tide has swung so far that not one, but TWO, state Premiers have spoken out in support of Kerr, and the Prime Minister has even gone on the record describing her as "a delight".

And so ends the racial abuse saga of our greatest sports hero of all time, and the very first reverse milkshake duck to ever exist.

#australia #batshit #fun facts

[luminosityspecter]

I literally made this au yesterday

#total drama #total drama island #total drama sierra #total drama lindsay #total drama gwen #total drama katie #total drama heather #total drama noah #total drama cody #td cody #td noah #td heather #td katie #td gwen #td lindsay #td sierra #I FEEL #BATSHIT #oh right #gweather #noco #they are real and canon in this au. with time.

[enha-stars]

@karinasbaby IS INSANEEEEEEE SOMEONE SROP HER SHES KILLING MEEE

#i’m #i have to go on a walk #must see a child #i need a popsicle #immediately #i need to watch some cocomelon #or maybe dora #SHES CRAZY #BATSHIT #SHES #SHES INSANE #WITH A BEAUTIFUL BRAIN #IM #SOMEONE SROPPPO HERRRR #no one stop her i love her #touch her and she’s dead ahhh 😈 #stella! #enha!me

[momentary-ecstasy]

Absolutely wild that, in one of the most famous soccer stadiums in the world, sold out crowd, everyone chanting the name of a made up character because the woman that created her rolled their favorite side of a little 20-sided piece of resin

#critical role is wild to me #like theyre rock stars #entire stadiums of people watch them and get pumped and chant and cheer #batshit

[cassowariess]

The ads on this website continue to be baffling:

#tumblr ads #patrick star #batshit #i refuse to click