#batshit au rambles

[iamhereinthebg]

I LOVE THEM SM THE CLOCK KEEPERS FAM AAAAH

Mirai is so cute here I am ascending

Anyways, I will be honest I have some mixt feeling rn :00

About the clock keepers themselves?? I don't have that much fear tbh, they are supernaturals in their boundary, and contrary to number 3 they don't have hearts that Tsukasa or anyone else can consume. I think they will be fine (or I am being delusionnal to protect myself, you choose rip) I love them very much they will always live in my heart.

I was REALLY not happy with chapter 109, having to be focused on little crumbs was really hard when I have been waiting for their focus for more than 4 years. Having the joke that is chapter 109 absolutely destroyed me, they are my fav mysteries and I want something good for them, unfortunately I am not sure they will get it.

Chapter 110 gave me some hope because yes what is happening is not normal, and I am glad it was adressed. For me it was obvious af it' wasn't, but I really needed confirmation from the author to be sure.

I have always said that the clock keepers were unique and Teru confirms it in this chapter with the official translation:

'The clock keepers are clearly unique even among the school mysteries, and go beyond the average supernaturals'

They are n°1, the only mystery with three beings in it and with a human, one of the last two mysteries left with the other one being the main focus on the manga. Of course something is strange with how they are treated right now. What is happening?

None of them used their time powers expect for Mirai once as the judgment. The stuff they are saying to punish Tsukasa seems more like jokes and they aren't treating the trial as they should be (but this may be just because chapter 109 is bad af lol). Mirai can litteraly see the future if she wants to.

The owls, their shikigami/familiars don't move at all when their masters are attacked, they are in their own boundary, their shrine. Maybe their powers are related to the clock Natsuhiko destroyed (and I would be sad af if this is the reason and nothing can be done) we just don't know what is happening. Do they have a plan? Are they playing a part (which would be funny because some stuff about the clock keepers are related to theaters and plays) Did someone forced them to do something? We don't know anything about the clock keeper, them being in the same spot as n°6 before we got to his story.

We just know they are special among the mysteries, they are the oldest ones, Kako and Mirai are made of gears and a human has a seat in it.

I am pretty sure Teru had this conversation with Akane here because he knows the clock keepers are special.

The two mysteries being the more visible here being the god of death and the clock keepers.

It's also the only mystery Hanako didn't want to destroy right away because they could be useful. All mysteries had their yorishiro destroyed/were planned to be destroyed once they got students in danger. (expect for Tsuchigomori who just, accepted it as a precaution rip) The clock keepers are the only ones who got a free pass on this even after getting the whole school involved.

Their powers are just above a lot of the others, and everyone know how useful it can be, so once again why aren't they using it?

Not caring about their yorishiro is also super strange. Especially when the one the most against Hanako's plan to destroy the yorishiros in the manga is Kako.

A mystery has to choose a yorishiro to be a proxy of the gods, to be able to have this status.

They have to choose a yorishiro so they don't run away from the job, it's the thing the most important to them so they would never destroy it. They have to protect it. Teru assuming they don't care is just so so strange. Why wouldn't they? That's the whole point of what a yorishiro is! They even hide it in one of them as an extra precaution! A lot of things go against what has been established before for yorishiros it's just plain out suspicious.

Kako and Akane are also really really duty centered characters. Akane will do a job even if he doesn't want to if he is asked to do it and Kako is the one being represented as the observator over the mysteries to see if they are respecting their sworn duty.

I also don't know what to think about their yorishiro for now. What does it open? A door to another room? Is it to protect something? Is it to activate another automaton? Can it be related somehow to the old clock keeper of the present? (delulu land again)

Idk I am really curious. I really hope we won't have the answer right away though, they were defeeated way too quickly and I hope they have more stuff to them. We got Hakubo's and Sumire's story and a part of the Yugi twins beforec their yorishiro got destroyed, so I hope it will be the same for them. That we will have time to get to know them a little bit more.

And after all, neither Nene or Hanako want to destroy any more yorishiro for now, and Tsukasa apparently lost it at the end of the chapter (we can see the hand who had it being empty. But AidaIro has sometimes a problem of coherence with their right and left and objects disappearing and appearing which I can understand with the rythm they have to keep with the manga, so I am not sure)

I have a lot of fears about this tbh, because maybe AidaIro will just give us the reason why they are weak rn and continue the story without explaining anything about them, not giving them the spotlight I think they truly deserve. The worst for me would be they work for Sakura, I really really hope it's not this, but I am really scared :///

So I will go for this for now, even if this is really depressing for me, but I don't want to have my hopes up with how the writing have been really ups and downs since the start of this arc (the only good chapter for me being chapter 108).

I am still really intrigued by what is Akane's real duty and why is he so reluctant to do it but still does it? Why Akane said they had to do the trials now? Honestly I have a lot of questions and I know no matter what happens, the clock keepers make me super sad (in a good way) and happy at the same time. And this last chapter with Mirai and Akane was a blast (I am actually writing a whole document on them rn it's long I will link it later ahah)

I also wonder if any of the clock keepers can use the others' clocks or not? Does this mean like Kako can go full OP while using all three powers at the same time? (let's go grandpa give us everything) I am curious since they are a mystery where having an object is important for their powers (Kako and Mirai being able to use their with bare hands because they have their clocks on them, I can be wrong about it though)

We are also left with only Akane as n°1 rn and idk what it will mean for him.

So yes full of fears, but also I know I will find crumbs to go delulu on :DD I would try to stay full positive but with the focus being on Tsukasa and on how secondary characters rn are mostly as 'objects for the plot' (I mean, look at Nene :')) I can't really ://

But be sure, I will forever love the clock keepers even if the plots are not respecting them

#toilet bound hanako kun #I really need to talk about the copy pasted dying Mirai because this is SENDING me #why are you doing this to my girl AidaIro #I am sorry I lost the ask I am an idiot :')) #fortunately I had it like this dsjds #the three clock keepers #are once again rotating in my head non stop #mirai #aoi akane #kako #jshk #jibaku shonen hanako kun spoilers #tbhk #ramblings #idk if I have ever showed it much but I am batshit insane in general about Time and pray for Mari because she has to witness it every month #this is also one of the reason I love them #tbhk analysis #the way I made them in one of my au in 2020 was actually A LOT like what we have now and I am dying

[hearts4juzi]

I have such a cool au ive never talked about. it involves michael shutting the fuck up...... but not in the way u might assume........ looks around................

#does anyone wanna hear about my batshit insane au #it has a ton of golden duo and liz+evan #tzu rambles

[hibiscuslynx]

i have this hc/au in which the wttt/miss counterparts of the state r siblings (so like. miss pa and wttt pa r siblings ) but then i remember the dating games ep and im like. oh. but then i get to completely erase that out of the (head)canon so its all good

#i just… like the idea of siblings :] ! #its also funny bc in this hc/au since it also follows my other family hcs #wttt mass is no longer the eldest of 3 but the eldest/twin eldest of 6 #chaotic household… #speakinf of mkss pa #have u guys seen that ep where she’s like sooooo high giggling eating brownies in the bathroom #n colorado’s just in the dining room like… where r my brownies #ITS SO FUNNY #anyway #the chaos the florida siblings exude. do you guys see the vision.. TERRORS. theyre terrors #literally batshit i love them #lynx rambles

[specialbluehens]

y'all wanna know my batshit crack theory?

#sdv #stardew valley #ramblings #please ask me about my batshit insane theory #it's 100% crack but i'm taking it seriously #i've connected the non existing impossible dots #shane is a rasmodius au

[ichorblossoms]

i'm not rly invested in a modern honeybee au atm but i know in my heart that instead having a horse grimm drives one of these around

#i picture their car with much more paint damage but the internet was NOT cooperating with images #and now it's gonna think i'm in the market for a used 1995-2005 ford ranger #modern au is difficult bc half of the batshit stuff that makes grimm and yarrow *grimm and yarrow* is so exclusive to their universe #like what would it be? grimm and yarrow's fucked up road trip after grimm breaks yarrow out of jail? actually that kind of makes sense. wai #grimm #rambles #au

[gas-station-chai]

Jack: (offers Tony an awkward, friendly smile)

Tony, delusional: ‘He wants me. He fucking wants me I just know it’

#stalker!jantonio au #oblivious till it’s too late (jack) #what a pinning lunatic (tony) #chai guy rambles #chai writes stuff #stalker!tony is treading a fine line between 'worlds biggest loser' and 'batshit insane' #relatable tho #tftgs au

[whatudottu]

You know, the thing about TFP is that there’s such an imbalance of team size that physically, realistically and logically, the Autobots Should Not Have Won. Even excluding the fodder-type mecha of Vehicons/Eradicons and Insecticons, the named ‘Cons alone outnumber all of Team Prime.

And as much as I have a limited number of known Autobots in my head, a downside of growing up with TFA instead of ‘millions of characters’ G1 (excluding the bastardised Bayverse and the CG horror of Beast Machines), I do have an idea of how the numbers can be evened out. This may potentially be an Altered Loyalties post, but this is mostly a hypothetical.

For one thing, I’m all for narrative parallels or - in this case - narrative opposites. The Decepticons may still very well outnumber the Autobots, still have a myriad of Vehicons/Eradicons in their initial forces (perhaps boosting their numbers late game with Insecticons to really sell that ‘*chuckles* i’m in danger’ raised stakes a narrative should have), but they are rather centralised to a fixed location; The Nemesis.

Yeah yeah, the Nemesis is a moving ship, I know that- but it is the ONE SHIP and if you take that down, you take out the sole Decepticon base; Bulkhead managed to cripple the ‘Cons until Megan essentially injected zombie juice into its engine for fast repairs. It’s status as a motile base is it’s advantage, you cannot pinpoint its location unless it’s signal blockers are down, but it’s disadvantages is that one you damage it, you cannot rely on a secondary location for comms, safety nor resources.

But - increasing the number of mecha of course - Autobots have humans on their side, and in order not to be gunned down by them, they come to the American Government (and somewhat their Military by extention) to seek refuge and eventual collaboration (again as a narrative shift in the latter part of the story). Through this little alliance - outside of adding ‘morally grey’ to the ‘Bot - old military bases become the multiple bases of the Autobot forces, spreading out their numbers to where the ‘Cons cannot simply wipe them all out in one grand sweep.

Of course, the strength in this is that there are second chances, other groups and bases to bounce back off of and will not greatly inhibit Autobot forces. The drawback though is also obvious, with no singular location resources are spread across the country, continent or even planet if America dares reveal its bases in unceded foreign lands to outsiders, and the ‘Bots may either have one of everything in one base (reducing maximum benefits like a medic for every base but limited medical resources) or having individualised bases that - if felled - would completely erase one piece of the Autobot puzzle (having a designated communications base that gets EM bombed).

But, throughout this all, there’s both side’s relationship with humanity as a whole that contributes to their uh… concealment I suppose.

The Decepticons would rather Not with humans and be sure to mainly stay away from more populated areas, typically flying the Nemesis higher than standard commuter planes and military jets would tend to fly. However, without the assistance of any human government, any flight-frame spotted scouting (individually or in a group) would be tagged as unmarked/unauthorised vehicles and be listed under ‘Decepticon sightings’ if the identified model number matches any US Military flight vehicles or sports a remarkable colour.

The Autobots benefit from humanity by having a ball in their court for any of their own flight-frames, as much as they don’t particularly require it as the ‘Cons may want. But that’s not the points that I wanted to specifically share.

A thought occurred, whether from seeing something about Communications Officer Jazz or something of the sort, but knowing what I do know of Jazz, having a designated radio station - one either of military origin or even simply of ‘clearly a human radio station’ - the Autobots could simply rely on the fact that the Decepticons couldn’t care less about human culture enough to seriously investigate the new human radio station who’s entire gimmick is being an alien wanting to share their favourite Earth songs.

So essentially, where the Decepticons rely on avoiding interaction as much as is feasibly possible, the Autobots are learning what humans think and playing the ‘if i say the truth and nothing but the truth, they will not believe me and assume i’m joking’ in order to ‘blend in’ and avoid the public eye with reverse psychology.

oh, just wait until skyquake learns about human radio and knock out gets super into human movies, just imagine the facepalming and ‘it was so obvious why didn’t we think of that’

#autobots #tfp autobots #decepticons #tfp decepticons #transformers #tfp #tfp au #tfp rewrite au #altered loyalties #maccadam #ramblings #so yeah- cons have the numbers/the motile base but also have that one sole base #bots are stuck with immovable bases/comparably limited numbers but they spread the fuck out #cons go out of their way to avoid humans- probably to the point of actively being non-hostile just to garner absolute zero attention #and the bots are being so blatantly alien - on radiowaves or in alt-mode - that humans think it’s a gimmick/ice breaker humour #honestly the latter section was inspired a little by that one fic where starscream gets a tumblr and being tumblr expected weird #i cannot for the life of me find the fic- but then again i might not be trying to hard- i found one but not the one i read so… #hahah anywho- i just think about the batshit insanity i’ve seen brief glimpses of from g1 (the ‘booby trap for boobies’ comes to mind) #and i think tfp would benefit from a little of this soup- #(you might think i’d be better off making this an original continuity but 1- i’m in a ‘i can fix him’ relationship with tfp #and 2- i don’t know shit about fuck about original longform stories nor enough transformers knowledge to tackle something so large)

[adammilligan]

no but the way michael had to have known that giving the winchesters the spell would anger god. the way admits at the beginning of inherit the earth that he's hiding from god because he knows he'll kill him. the way he was so dark and cold and sad in inherit the earth. the way he looked and sounded so, so resigned when he faced god and told him it has always been his destiny to serve him. the way even when he pleads with god and tells him that helping the winchesters was a lapse of judgement he sounds so half-hearted when we all know he can sound so much more animated than that. the way adam's death fucking destroyed him so badly that michael just stood there and let himself be killed.

#michael just sounds so fucking dead throughout the entirety of 15x19 #and yes there IS a certain quality in michael's voice when he talks to god because he's still seeing his father after millennia without him #but his expression is just so fucking tired. so fucking dead #a bit similar to how au!michael seemed happy to see gabriel and then killed him anyway #it's just. michael just seemed like he was in such a fucked up state of mind throughout that whole episode #which the winchesters very obviously took advantage of to use in their plan #but i do wonder if michael noticed it and played into it anyway. if he knew that it would end with god killing him and let it happen anyway #because he was NOT like this in 15x08. and the difference is that adam's dead. and that made ALL the difference #if i'm going to get really into this i think michael let god kill him without a fight because he couldn't do it himself. #because he was still wearing adam's body and he couldn't bring himself to harm it. #michael's death is batshit insane tbh. he pleads with god for his life but it doesn't even sound like he means it. he already sounds dead. #azure rambles #michael #we came to an agreement

[oasisofgalaxies]

Someone asks Mumbo and Mayhem which one of them is the evil twin and they both point at each other 

#results inconclusive. Both are batshit. #space au #hermitcraft au #nebula rambles #ok but Mumbo ‘I have lazars and I’m not afraid to use them’ K. Jumbo #and Mayhem ‘Highly destructive virus turned highly destructive mad scientist’ (wait I need to give him a Jumbo adjacent last name-) #are a force to be reckoned with #And I love them both dearly

[meltamorphosis]

wuh oh ! im thinking about ocs again !!!!!

#melty rambles #melty ocs #i really love the idea of ujst like. transporting my ocs from other universes into enstars #i need to make enstars aus for them #itd be sososo funny okay i have to i really really want to #nothing changes about their batshit insane backstories theyre Just idols now

[sunnysatori]

rotating my fucked up and evil touhou aus in my mind

#yes auS #as in plural #there's one that's dark woods circus inspired #and there's one that has yandere koishi and also sanae going batshit crazy #oh i also have one that's a deltarune crossover #i forgor to mention it before ;-; #my ramblings

[the-name-is-loser]

Armani, at Levi: Would you like to stay for dinner?

Ezra, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay forever!?!

#loser’s liddol rambles #soulmate au shenanigans you know how it is #ez is totally like this in that au Swjehjesbhdnd #xe’s batshit insane I love xem <3 #my ocs: s2

[fragilecapric0rnn]

FRIENDS AU Part 2: The One Where Eddie Copes

[part one]

[cross-posted to ao3] || word count: 3.3k

Eddie doesn’t know how long it takes for his soul to return to his body. 

It left as soon as his eyes and brain fully registered that he was suddenly in the presence of his high school crush. Right here, in the flesh, sitting in the middle of his friends in The Jittery. He can’t help but consider the fact that he may have been the one to summon him with his pathetic cry for his ex-girlfriend just moments before the incident. 

The casual, ‘You remember Eddie? From high school?’ comment from Robin sucker-punched Eddie right in the chest. The eye contact and shy smile that followed nearly sent Eddie into some sort of stress-induced cardiac arrest. 

He hardly registers the barely coherent story that Steve is trying to tell. Eddie watches him bring a glass of water to his mouth with shaky hands and tries not to stare at his lips. 

“I’m confused.” Jonathan says as Eddie starts to regain consciousness.  

Memories of his repressed gay awakening circa-1985 come flooding back with a vengeance. Sitting in the bleachers during gym class, watching this same guy flick off his t-shirt, dripping in sweat, shit-talking his opponents, shoving them around a little too rough for a gym class game of basketball. 

He adjusts how he’s sitting in the chair, right now, in 1993. Beating away the thoughts from the Ghost of Horny Moments Past, pushing away the potential for any unexplainable chubs as he tries to sit and listen to the man himself ramble about God-knows-what, soaking wet like a pathetic little kitten in the coffee shop. 

He’s going to throw up. 

Or pass out. 

Possibly both.

Thankfully, everyone’s attention is on the runaway bride, too distracted to notice that he’s in crisis. 

“It makes perfect sense to me.” Argyle shrugs, handing Steve a giant ceramic cup. 

“Just run it by us one more time.” 

Steve takes a comically large sip from his mug, holds the coffee in his cheeks, making them puff out and Eddie is convinced that this is some sort of punishment for all of his mistakes. 

“You know, they always told me that cold feet are normal. That’s what they all say about  getting married, that you get cold feet. Well, I realized when I woke up this morning, after having a very vivid and intense dream about Harrison Ford, that maybe my feet were never really that warm to begin with, ya know?” 

Everyone is nodding, as if they do know. Nancy has her eyebrows knitted together, Robin looks a bit too amused, Jonathan looks confused, and Argyle is casually dipping his tea bag into his mug, like this is a normal thing unfolding in front of them.

“Look, I was in a frat in college. I am very comfortable with my sexuality or whatever and I didn’t let the dream sway any decision making at that moment.”

Eddie resists the urge to ask him what exactly this sexuality is. 

“So it wasn’t Harrison…” Nancy presses, her hand motioning as if to say, 'Please continue this batshit story.'

“It wasn’t him,” He takes a sip from his mug, the rest of the group inches closer. “It happened about 10 minutes later, when Lola was knocking on my door, standing there in tears.”

“Fuck,” Robin drags out the word, Jonathan lets out a low whistle.

“Turns out, she also had lukewarm feet throughout most of our relationship. She wanted to call it off. And that’s when I knew we had to. Because any normal fiance would’ve freaked the fuck out, right? Would’ve started begging or pleading or yelling or something! But I had nothing. Nothing but relief.” 

The collective air in the room deflates. 

“So, we devised a plan. We’d both get ready, business as usual. And I’d be the one to sneak out of the bathroom window in the groom’s suite. Before we realized it was on the second story of the hotel.” 

He shrugs, as Eddie studies his attire a little closer, seeing he does have twigs and a smattering of leaves on his now-discarded jacket.

“Steve, I know you’re vulnerable and whatever,” Robin says, pausing when Nancy smacks her arm. “But, why here? Why us?” Motioning between her and Nancy.

He chuckles, eyes now looking down into his cup. Eddie can't help but stare at this very odd man sitting in front of him.

“I don’t know. I guess it was mostly because I knew you lived in the city. But there’s another part of me that knew you’d understand. You were one of the only people I’ve ever met that tried understanding me for me. Not what you wanted me to be.” 

And that's, wow. Why on Earth would he say something like that? Now Eddie has to cope with the fact that not only is this dude still hot, he sounds sweet as hell. 

“C’mon, let’s get you up to the apartment.” 

He can’t cope. 

- 

“Mom, you’re gonna need to stop crying or hand the phone back to dad.” Steve pleads. He's been on the phone for about an hour at this point, everyone else scattered around Nancy's apartment, listening.

Eddie, most of the shock worn off by now, is sitting at Nancy’s kitchen table, eating a pie straight from the tin and unable to tear his eyes away from the train wreck that is Steve Harrington, still in his damp clothes, but stripped down to an undershirt and the tux pants and no shoes or socks.

Watches him keep tugging hard at his hair every time a muffled yell comes out of the phone, loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. 

No wonder this guy ran away. 

Robin sits backwards on the chair next to Eddie’s as Steve stumbles out of the window onto the terrace, where the rain has somewhat let up.  

“Do you think he’s gay?” He asks as soon as Steve is fully outside. 

“Definitely not straight." Robin plucks the fork from Eddie's hand.

Jonathan shrugs, sighing as he finally sets the change of clothes down on the table and takes a seat.. He has been holding a change of clothes from his apartment in his hands for at least a half hour, waiting for Steve to get off the phone with his parents. 

"I mean, who talks about Harrison Ford in the same breaths as explaining why you ran away from your wedding?” He says, stealing the fork from Robin. 

“I never think about Harrison Ford unless I’m watching him on tv. And even then I barely think about him.” 

“Does that answer your question?” 

Before Eddie can say, not really, his thoughts are interrupted by a commotion coming from the other side of the room where the bedroom doors are closed.

Nancy comes out of the spare room, curly hair frizzier than it had been on the way up the stairs from the coffee shop, rubbing her temples and pulling on her face as she joins the group in the living room. 

“Are they still arguing?” She asks, craning her neck to get a better look at him out on the terrace. He’s still gesturing wildly, doing a lot more yelling. 

“I think so?” Robin turns her head like a confused dog, watching him gesture wildly with his free hand. 

“One minute he’s telling his dad that he doesn’t want to live like him and then it sounds like his mom is crying, I think he talked to his old nanny at one point?” 

“His parents sound like a mess.” Eddie says, earning three different versions of a 'no-duh' look from his friends.

“Have you seen the apple? What kinda tree do you think it fell from?” Jonathan says, passing the fork back to Eddie, which is then snatched away by Nancy. She takes the pie tin from them, putting it back in the fridge. 

They can hear the window opening and Steve falling back inside, silent cursing to himself. 

“No dad, you listen!” All their heads snap in the direction of Steve. Once again, soaking wet. His face is red, his already big hair standing up in every direction, and an insane look on his eyes.

Are his pupils dilated?

“Fine! I don’t care, I don’t care anymore! Cut me off! I don’t care! You know what,” Steve struggles to get his wallet out of his pocket, pauses and just throws the wallet across the room. Muffled yelling comes from the phone. “I'm snapping my credit cards right fucking now!" 

"I’ll stay here, with Nancy and Robin and you can take that inheritance and shove it up your ass!” Steve hangs up the phone and throws it onto the loveseat next to him. 

No one moves. No one speaks. The air is still, but only for a moment.

“I think this is where the sitcom audience would clap.” Eddie forgot Argyle has been laying down on the couch this entire time. Steve’s red face suddenly looks sickly pale. 

"I think I'm gonna be sick."

Jonathan and Nancy hop up from their spots, Robin hands him a brown paper bag, and they guide him to the couch. Eddie watches this all unfold, lingering in the background. Not one for comfort, especially being the king of mommy and daddy issues, without the complicated mess of being a trust fund baby, he has nothing helpful to add. 

“It’s gonna be okay, just try taking deep breaths.” 

Steve nods, the paper bag inflating and deflating slower, but still rather fast. 

“Would it help if I sang a song?” 

The bag inflates and deflates even slower, everyone just sort of stares at Argyle. 

“Don’t worry, about a thing, because every little thing, is gonna be alright.” Steve slowly brings the paper bag down, rests his hand on Argyle’s forearm.  

“I think I’m okay now, thank you.” He visibly winces at the lackluster Bob Marley

“Don’t mention it, mon.” 

For some godforsaken reason, Steve looks right at Eddie as they make the same face, an eyebrow hiked up to their hairlines, the physical embodiment of a scoff without actually scoffing. All while making eye contact with each other. 

Eddie looks away quickly, jumping out of the chair so fast that it scrapes against the floor, startling everyone in the room. 

“What am I gonna do?” He sounds panicked. 

“We’re gonna help you figure it out,” Jonathan says, sat on the coffee table across from him. 

“You can stay here with me, Jonathan and Robin live across the hall, it’ll be fun.” Nancy is patting his arm. 

“But what about money? I have none of that!” 

“There are these things called jobs,” Eddie says, Nancy snaps her head around and damn-near snarls at him. Steve’s brown paper bag is back to inflating and deflating. 

The phone rings, saving Eddie from immediate doom via-Nancy Wheeler. 

Nancy looks at the time and is now the one to get up from her seat next to Steve like something bit her on the ass.

“Shit! Shit shit shit!”

“What's with all the shit, Wheeler?” Eddie asks, Nancy flipping him off as the phone continues to ring in her hand.

“I forgot to call Frank and cancel.”

“Who’s Frank?” 

“My date,” she says, immediately sending Eddie a scrunched up face and mouthing sorry.  

“Wait wait wait, Frank? As in, Frank the Creepy Paper Salesman?” Robin hops over the backside of the couch, falling into Nancy. The phone stops ringing. Nancy takes a deep breath, closing her eyes and looking up at the ceiling.

Creepy was a generous assessment of the piece of work that is Frank. Asking Nancy on dates ever since she started working at The Times, stopping by the office ad nauseam, so much so, he has become a regular fixture in the lore surrounding Nancy's office.

“Yes, that Frank.” 

“Is the dating well running that dry Nance? So dry you finally said yes to Frank the creepy paper salesman?” 

“Listen, he caught me in a momentary lapse of judgment.”

“Were you conscious during this lapse?” 

"Fully, I just. It's been a while since I'd been on a date and my mom would not stop pestering me about it on the phone literal minutes, seconds even, before Frank showed up to talk to my boss. So, when he did his usual creep routine of asking me out, I said yes."

“Was he as surprised as we are?” Eddie asks, Nancy nods, wincing. 

"And are you regretting the yes?"

"Fully!" 

The phone is ringing again. 

“Hello,” she answers, sounding like she has a congested nose. “Hi Frank, yeah, I’m not feeling that well. Yeah, maybe we can postpone. I’ll call you, yeah.” 

“I’m sorry Nancy, I know this was kinda my fault.” Steve’s voice continues to be muffled by the bag. 

“I can’t believe you thought I’d be upset about you going out with Frank the Creep.” Eddie sits back down in the kitchen chair. Is he really that fragile? Can his friends really not share their downfalls with him like they used to? 

“I don’t know! You freaked when Robin went on a date with Tam-” 

“Aht! Aht!” Robin waves her hands in the air, almost elbowing Steve. “We are not talking about my dating life. I am striking this down immediately!” 

“Point still stands, then. You’re still very upset about Michelle.” And the sound of her name feels like a cartoon anvil dropping inside of his stomach, dropping and dropping. 

“We are not gonna talk about Michelle right now.” He deadpans. 

“Who’s Michelle?” Steve asks, paper bag back in front of his face, inflating and deflating as he speaks.  All of the air has been kicked out of Eddie’s lungs. 

“Eddie’s ex,” Argyle whispers loudly, with no effort made to keep Eddie from hearing him. 

“We are not talking about Michelle right now!” Eddie yells. Everyone goes quiet. 

“Right now we are going to focus on getting Steve to stop breathing into a paper fucking bag!” 

To which they all look over at Steve, who is staring at everyone with wide eyes and the bag no longer dramatically inflating and deflating, just held to his mouth as he stares around the room. 

“I’m actually starting to feel a little better.” He says, into the bag. Inflating and deflating. 

-

-

-

Across the hall, Eddie has his feet kicked up on Jonathan and Robin’s couch, hands linked and resting on his stomach. His head in Robin’s lap and his feet on Jonthan’s lap, staring up at the ceiling where he can see a spaghetti stain splattered across the asbestos pattern. 

Jeopardy is playing in the background but none of them are paying attention. Argyle is sat on the floor, head close to Eddie’s as they all pass around a joint. 

“So, you let her take the TV, the bedroom set, and the living room set. What do you even have left at your place?” 

“Pots and pans?” 

“Dude,” Argyle blows a ring of smoke in the air. “That is so not cool.” He passes Eddie the joint.

“I felt bad. It’s my fault we’re in this situation.” 

“There are no faults, and yet you’re still punishing yourself.” Jonathan says, eyes glued to the TV, a familiar spacey look on his face. 

Argyle checks his watch and gets up from the floor, patting around his pockets. 

“Looks like it’s time for me to head out, Aunt Miriam is making midnight spaghetti and I wanna get there before her boyfriend eats all the garlic bread.” 

“Midnight spaghetti?” and “Your great aunt has a boyfriend?” are asked by Eddie and Robin respectively at the same time. 

“See ya man,” Jonathan yells as the door shuts behind him. 

Robin knocks on Eddie’s head lightly before pushing him off of her, stretching and yawning as she stands. 

“I’m gonna go raid Nance’s for some more beers,” He swings he feet off of Jonathan’s lap and stretches. 

“I’ll get your pillow and blankey situated,” Robin says. Eddie half turns to send her a salute before shutting the door, opening the one across the hall almost in one fell swoop. 

He doesn’t expect to see Steve still up, sitting at the same kitchen chair he spent most of the afternoon and evening in. Most of the color returned to face, a glass of wine and an open bottle on the table. 

“Hey,” He says, curious and careful

“Hi.” Steve smiles warmly at him, gesturing the bottle at him, Eddie takes it as an invitation. 

“You alright?” He grabs a wine glass from Nancy’s hanging glass rack. 

“Yeah, couldn’t sleep.” 

“Why? A lot on your mind?” Eddie takes the seat across form him. 

“You’re funny,” Steve fills Eddie’s glass. “I remember you being kinda funny in high school.” To that, Eddie fakes a dagger to the heart, startling Steve a bit, who is looking at Eddie with the same type of amusement that everyone looked at him with a few hours ago. 

“If seventeen-year-old-me heard you say that you remembered me at all from high school, there’d be an Eddie shaped hole in that door.” Eddie takes a swig from his wine, thanking whoever is in charge of the universe that it's red wine, giving him an explanation for the blush already blooming on his face. Well, a better explanation than a cute guy laughing at his silly jokes. 

“Of course I remember you, how could I forget all those lunchtime sermons about how cool and different you were and how lame and boring the rest of us were.” Steve says, not hiding how much it he seems to enjoy that the little walk down memory lane has started to make Eddie visibly cringe.

“Don’t remind me of that,” Eddie groans into his glass. 

“You seem a lot softer now.” 

Eddie drags his eyes up from where they were studying the knick in the the wood on the table, meeting Steve’s gaze. 

“You caught me at a soft time in my life, Harrington.”

“Right,” Steve leans back in his chair, brings his own glass to his lips, pausing to take a sip. “Your ex.” 

“Yep, my ex.” 

“Did she just, totally break your heart?” He asks, throwing Eddie off guard a bit. He didn't expect Steve to be so forward with his nosiness. Kinda respects it. 

“No, it was more like. I broke my own heart.” 

“What does that even mean?” 

He looks at Steve. Really looks at him, and can almost see the kindness actually spilling out of those pretty brown eyes, how he came to Robin and Nancy specifically to help him out, knowing that they would. 

“It means, I realized that she’s not really my type after all. After eight years together, I finally realized that I am g-” he clears his throat. 

“That I’m gay. No matter how much I love her, no amount is going to change the fact that I wasted both of our time.” 

Eddie can’t bear to look up at Steve, but feels his eyes on him. 

The glug glug sound of wine pouring out of the bottle breaks the silence, Eddie finally looks up. 

“You need it more than I do,” Steve says, taking a swig from the bottle, tipping it over the table to show that it’s now empty. 

This makes Eddie laugh. A full belly laugh that seems to be contagious, as Steve’s now laughing, a snort escaping his nose and mouth, making the two laugh even harder. 

“You guys, seriously?” Nancy comes out of her room, robe on and rollers in her hair. “Some of us have to work in the morning!” 

“Sorry Nance, we’ll keep it down.” 

“Sorry.” 

She looks at them, her face softens with look of mild bewilderment. Stands there for a few seconds longer than she otherwise would’ve, before wordlessly going back into her bedroom. 

“That reminds me, I need to get one of those.” Steve says as her door clicks shut. 

“One of what?” 

“A job, or something.” 

“I can put a good word in for you at a few places.” He says, taking a big gulp from the very full wine glass. 

“Thanks, Eddie.” 

He can’t help but think maybe, just maybe, he will be able to cope with Steve being around. 

#friends au #steddie #steddie fic #next updates will have more budding ronance #they deserve their own chapters! #sen writes #my fic #spicy six #spicy six au

[novelcain]

Hi! You can call me anon Ara and I absolutely love the triad au lmk thing! Like lmao it's funny but terrifying at the part where the reader got kidnaps and swk just go batshit over it but still we love protective monkeys😍

Speaking of monkeys swk and Macaque are both my fav but I'm more focused on Macaque(sorry swk you will be miss/lh) man just sits in the corner while playing games and let swk do his work, I'm living for that but I got some hcs for this monkey in this au

Like everytime when Macaque saw swk with his girl getting lovey dovey he goes "ew love and affection🤮" and he hate it, at least that's what he thought until he met someone he head over heels for liek another reader! Or a person, idk up to you like working in a cafe or a bakery or something up to you and how they became friends is maybe when Macaque visit the bakery or cafe to take some foods from swk order or anything and then the reader just greets him nicely and smh they spark up a conversation and then they share the same interest(theater show, shadow play thing) and now Macaque can't stop his heart beating rapidly

(oh uh is the six eared Macaque falling in love😳)

And then he ask swk for advice and then swk goes "what wrong BUD? I thought you hate love and affection😏" and tease the hell out of him and Macaque grumbles but gets the most helpful(hopefully) advice from swk and ask the traffic light trios(MK, Mei and Red son) for advice too and regret it cuz they start teasing him too

That's all I got, I love Macaque so much ugh and I absolutely love the au, sorry for ramble too much😔

OMFG! Ara anon I love your brain you inspired such a GALAXY level big brain idea!

What if Macaque was one day sent on a mission to find the hacker that's been shutting them down and leaking plans for weeks now. He tracks this person all the way to a rival gang where he finds... a young woman... in a locked room. 

The room was just barely large enough to hold a small mattress and a desk with at least five monitors crammed into it. The girl was currently typing anyway at her keyboard at a pace that would put even him to shame. She appeared to be upset and tired based on her scowl and eyebags. 

She clearly didn't want to be here. 

"My, my. What have we here~?" 

You whipped around to find the source of the voice within the dark room but found nothing. 

"A little bird stuck in a cage~?" 

The voice was suddenly right next to you, and you snapped your head around to find none other than The Six Eared Macaque from the triad you had been forced to target. 

You gulped as you tried to keep your composure. You knew this would happen. You tried to warn them, but they wouldn't listen. Sun Wukong doesn't take kindly to people getting in his way. 

And now you were going to pay the price. 

"Are you... are you going to kill me?" You asked. 

"Hmmm..." The demon tilted his head unsettlingly slow as he seemed to think over your fate. 

You jumped back in your chair as the monkey slammed his hands down onto either arm rest. His nose was nearly touching yours now as he bared his fangs in a menacing grin. However, despite feeling like you would break down into tears at any moment, you managed to keep your nervousness from showing. 

Interesting, he thought. 

"That depends~... Did you do this of your own free will, or were you forced too? Oh, and. Don't bother lying. I can hear your sweet little heartbeat~."

#ara anon #skittle answers #triad au #lmk triad au #triad au lmk #triad au macaque #lmk triad au macaque #triad au macaque x reader #triad au x reader #lmk macaque #lmk macaque x reader #macaque x reader #macaque #lmk six eared macaque #triad au six eared macaque #triad au six eared macaque x reader

[starclawz]

Mind & Hear— oh, sorry, my bad, Night & Light, from an AU I'm working on.

Thanks for clicking the cut, now enjoy my stupid rambling about this AU.

So basically, I was looking through my first ever CJ related messages in a server I'm in, and saw a few of my old theories (From August of 2022). So, I decided, fuck it, why not make an AU out of this?

Back then, past me didn't know HMS(W) existed, like, at all. I'm sure no one did, unless I was just a fucking idiot, but alas that didn't stop me

I named Mind "Dark". Because, back then, Heart & Mind were color swapped, for some reason.

So, in this AU, he's called Night, or Dark. Either works.

He uses He/It in this AU, respectively.

More robot like, and more violent physically & mentally

Less prone to tolerating Light's mistakes, short temper & quick to jump to violence

Still relies on logic, but is constantly trying to justify his violence with it ( usually wrong in that sense, but he is right in a way

Moving on, this is Light.

I kept the same name he's always had in my old theories. He only uses that name.

He uses He/They/She, along with some neopronouns that I still need to find.

More closed off and calm, but is like practically fucking batshit insane

Can also be violent both physically and mentally, but is more-so mentally

Cannot stand Night at ALL. Hates him to his core

Now, Soul, now known Dusk, Eclipse, Grey, or Dawn, doesn't really..have a physical form? They're more of a disembodied voice.

They use they/it now, or, really any pronouns, and is known to as Eclipse/Dawn to Night, & Grey/Dawn to Light.

Still very, very unhinged, but is now more of a enabler to Light and Night's fights

No goals, purely it just wants to watch Night and Light crash and burn

Doesn't care if anyone gets hurt, just loves fucking with people

That's it for now; I'll probably write something...or draw? We'll see. Thank you for listening :)

#Before the Cacophony AU #chonny jash #chonnys charming chaos compendium #chonny jash au #the heart acoustic #the mind electric #the soul eclectic #infodump #art #starclawz

[via-the-cryptid]

in celebration of the coming Fionna and Cake Season Two (fuck yeah), I present to you all a wonderful new petrigrof concept: the Madness Shared AU.

so we all know the winter king, right? bonkers fucking yonkers but offloading the bulk of his crazy onto Bubblegum? yes of course we know him. now imagine that Betty figures out that yep, offloading the Crown Madness onto some poor unsuspecting sod is, in fact, A Thing You Can Do, so what does she do? try it out herself! by which I mean try it out on herself.

it turns Ice King into an entity similar to the Winter King, but less manipulative and more nervous (and still a little bit deranged but he’s probably fine), and in turn? Betty gets turned into a batshit crazy ice witch that decides Chaos(TM) is her new favourite thing. she has little to no memory of Simon or Ice King, or anything else for that matter — she sort of acts like dinosaur Gunther or Simon when they first put on the crown? lotta cackling, lotta freezing everything in sight, lotta rambling and raving about broken pieces of her memory that even she can’t put together anymore.

at first, the Gang (Finn, Jake, and Marceline, maybe BMO and Bonnie if I’m feeling it) assume that it’s Ice King causing all this ice, because who else would it be, but then they finally manage to track the culprit down and… yeah, it’s definitely not Ice King. whoever she is, she looks weirdly familiar, though none of them can place it.

I’m thinking of calling IK and Betty Frost King and Frost Queen? or Frost Witch maybe? either way, I’ll probably add more to this later (also my asks are ABSOLUTELY open if you have any questions or suggestions regarding this new AU, just please specify which AU you’re talking about so I don’t accidentally give you a Snow Queen AU answer)

#adventure time #simon petrikov #betty grof #Madness Shared AU #petrigrof #fionna and cake #adventure time au