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incorrectbatfam · 6 months

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Selina: What do you want to be for Halloween?

Kate: Respected.

Alfred: Appreciated.

Bruce: At peace.

Selina: ...I was gonna be a cat.

#source: twitter #selina kyle #catwoman #kate kane #batwoman #alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne #batman #batfamily #batfam #batman family #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics #tw halloween

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fandomnerd9602 · 2 months

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Bryce Wayne, the Batwoman, introduces eight year old Damian to Y/N…

Y/N: so you have a son? Besides the ones I knew about?!

Bryce: his father and the League of Shadows took him when he was born. It was before you and I met.

Damian: so are you and my mom like a thing?

Y/N: yep. I’m a Kryptonian superhero too.

Damian: ever killed bad guys?

Y/N: all the time

Bryce: babe!

Damian: Y/N, you’re cool! can you adopt me?!

For @wildcardjgambit

Fan Cast: Hayley Atwell as Bryce Wayne

#dc comics #Batman #batman x reader #batwoman #bruce wayne #bryce wayne #bruce wayne x reader #hayley atwell #female Justice league #dc comics fluff #dc comics incorrect quotes #dc comics imagine #rule 63 #gender swap #genderswap #genderbend #genderbent

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justapersonwhitaname · 2 months

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Kate Kane: Tim, now that you come out as bi, now I will be your gay mentor.

Tim: Sorry Kate... But I already have a fairy gayfather.

Kate:

Kate: You Little shi-

#Detective Williams: *Sneezes* Someone is talking about me #and that someone is Tim.#tim drake #red robin #robin #kate kane #batwoman #detective williams #td:r #tim drake: robin #batfam #batfamily #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect dc quotes

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dc-and-damirae · 1 year

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tim: I haven’t slept for 39 hours. I’ll fight god in a Denny's parking lot

batwoman: kid, you need to go to sleep

tim: whenever I pass out is entirely up to the gods

jason: well that or this fire extinguisher

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batfamilyproblems · 11 months

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Dick, you cannot stand against the might of the Swifties! 🪩

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shyjusticewarrior · 9 months

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DC Comics Incorrect Quotes Pt 92

Steph: Maybe this is our version of Treat Yo Self Day and he needs to do his version.

Steph: Damian, if you could blow big money on one thing, what would it be?

Damian: *ponders*

[Later]

Damian: *wearing a custom Batman costume*

Kate: They don't take "no" as an answer and then they also don't take "I'm a lesbian" as an answer.

Bernard: I always take I'm a lesbian for an answer no matter what the question is.

Tim: No matter what the question is. You can say that shit on jeopardy. "What is I'm a lesbian." And then Trebek's like "yup, got it again. God, you're doing really great."

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vodrae · 6 months

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Cassandra : *Launches the Hellbat suit and fly into space*

Bruce : Where is she going ??

Steph: *On her phone* She said she's gonna fight the moon because it wont stop following her at night.

Bruce, Jason,Barbara, Dick, Duke, Damian,Tim, Harper, Cullen, Kate, Harley : Finally someone doing it.

Clark : You could have just ask.

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crybabylulu · 10 months

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This is correct and no I will not take criticism pt 6

Harley: *busting into the Batcave* Brucie! Brucie!

Bruce: * turns in his chair to look at her*

Harley: you’ll never guess what I heard?

Bruce: what Harleen I’m busy *turns back to the bat computer*

Harley: too busy for gossip Brucie?

Bruce: *turns to her* I’m listening

Harley: I heard from the grapevine your cousin is out here flirting with kitty cat while she still messing with that cop lady down at the gcpd

Bruce: *eyes widen* I KNEW IT! Selina told me I was just being paranoid

Harley: ooo not her gaslighting you

Bruce: does Renee know?

Harley: nope

Bruce: *turns to the computer and starts typing up a letter*

Harley: Brucie?

Bruce: what kind of person would I be if I let this poor women suffer?

Harley: YOURE SO MESSY! I love it! I’ll drop the letter off!

*bonus*

*the bat kids heard everything*

Stephanie: not aunty Kate being a cheater

Damian: she’s not your aunty

Stephanie: shut up

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waterfire1848 · 8 months

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[ Jason making a video for other super hero groups. ]

Jason: Welcome to the Batcave, everyone. My name is Jason, I'm one of the members of the Batfamily. Tonight we thought we would send you backstage, surprise the rest of the family, and let you see what it's like. Now, it takes a well-oiled machine to keep this city safe every day. But with years of experience under our belts, we've got it down to an exact science, so, let's go take a look. Come on. Jason: So, one of the- [ Dick comes running past him while Damian follows him with an extinguisher. ] Dick: Ah! Ah! Jason: Don't worry about that. They will probably- Barbara: Jason! We have a problem. Tim stayed up for three nights straight and now he's... [ She points up. Tim is on the ceiling. ] Tim: Who are you? Where are my pants? Duke: Where are his pants? [ They're on the computer. ] Stephanie: Jason! Have you seen it? Jason: Seen what? Stephanie: There is a devil raccoon somewhere here in this cave! It got here when Kate quit and left! Jason: Wait! Kate quit! Barbara: Yeah, she split after the curling iron caught fire and burned Cass's outfit. Cass, holding her Black Bat costume: It's not that bad, right? Duke: No. It doesn't look horribly burnt at all. [ Tim jumps down. ] Tim: Ah! Duke: How did you put your pants on!? Stephanie, jumping on the raccoon: There it is! Duke: Stephanie, be careful. Steph! Barbara: Does anyone know where Tim went? [ Tim is in the Batmobile. ] Barbara: Harper! Go out and find him! Stephanie: Someone needs to cover my patrol tonight. The raccoon got my hands. Barbara: Wait! Wait! Jason, is that camera rolling?

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arrowmaker15 · 3 months

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(Batman and Batwoman in the Batcave interrogation room)

Batman: Why are you here?

Lord Death-Man: To be your greatest nyemesis!

Batwoman, looking at Batman: Really?

Also Batwoman, turning to Lord Death-Man: And what special skills would you use to do that?

Lord Death-Man: I would use my mastery of yyyyoga.

Batman:

Batwoman:

Batman:...yoga?

Lord Death-Man: And my excellent memorization of all Pokémon and their evolutions!

Batwoman:

Batwoman: Hood!

Red Hood, kicking the door open, gun in hand: On it!

#dc comics #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #batfam incorrect quotes #jason todd #bruce wayne #kate kane #larry #red hood #batman #batwoman #Lord Death-Man #this is all true #these are things said in the comics #it's amazing #comics are great #thanks to #thepandaredd #for showing off Lord Death-Man

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incorrectbatfamandfriends · 3 months

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incorrectbatfam · 8 months

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Bruce: *walks in*

Alfred, cooking: Yes, Master Bruce, what is it?

Bruce: Damian wants an eggless omelette.

Alfred: He wants an egg... Master Bruce, you can't have an eggless omelette, can you?

Bruce: Why, do we not have any?

Alfred: No. They don't exist, do they? 'Cause there's no...

Bruce: *confused*

Alfred: Breadsticks, what are they made of?

Bruce: Bread?

Alfred: Bread, very good. Okay, take away the bread. What are you left with?

Bruce: Sticks?

Alfred: No—

Alfred: *sprinkles parsley on a plate and slides it to Bruce*

Alfred: There you go, that is an eggless omelette!

Bruce: Okay.

Bruce: *takes the plate and starts to leave*

Alfred: No, don't take the plate! Master Bruce, what are you doing? Please.

Kate: Bruce, just ask Damian if he'd like his omelette made with whole eggs or with just egg whites.

Bruce: *nods and leaves*

Kate: You can leave the plate.

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gecemi09 · 11 months

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Kate: What’s something you guys are better than Bruce at? Barbara: Mario Kart. Cass: Yeah, video games. Steph: Emotional vulnerability.

#kate kane #barbara gordon #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #batgirls #batwoman #batgirl #batfam #oracle #batfam incorrect quotes

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justapersonwhitaname · 5 months

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Jason: Some people say that bats are one of the animals whit the highest homosexuality rate.

Jason: Kate and Drake are a great exemple of this.

Tim: We're right in front of you.

#Jason: Thats the whole point #jason todd #red hood #kate kane #batwoman #tim drake #robin #red robin #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect dc quotes #batfamily #batfam

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alittlerightalittlewrong · 8 months

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Bruce: Why, am I in the hospital?

Jason: You, ain't from Gotham if you ain't never done this before [unplugs Bruce's life support].

Bruce: *Flatlines*

The Batfam:

Jason: *Break dancing out the room*

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batfamilyproblems · 11 months

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Bruce is going to be an awesome grandaddy! 👴🏻

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