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markresonates · 2 years

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summary: you get off on the wrong foot with Jaehyun when you first start living together, all the while unaware he’s seen something he shouldn’t have

pairing: new roommate!Jaehyun x fem!reader

genre: porn w/ plot, lil angst, tiny fluff

tropes: roommates, one sided enemies

word count: +6.4k

a/n: I’m finally done with my roommate req event! HALLELUJAH (& it only took me 8 months!!) my very last anon req is for Wayv’s Love Talk!

warnings: rough unprotected sex, throat f&cking, manhandling, masturbation, choking, degradation, yet another scenario of sexy stuff on camera bc i’m a total slut for that sort of thing, hard dom!Jaehyun, sub!reader

cold, disappointed and jet lagged - the only three words that describe how you’re feeling tonight and your soon-to-be roommate is to blame for all of them.

“Jaehyun, are you on your way? My flight got in nearly 45 minutes ago and the b-baggage claim area is so crowded that security basically pushed me outside,” you relay bitterly after the unnecessarily sharp beep to his voice mailbox rang in your ear. You called expecting to hear his charming voice (and by chance an apology) but all you got was the generic, off-putting robotic instruction ordering you to leave a message for the tardy receiver.

Frigid air prickles your skin as you lean against a concrete pillar painted in yellow stripes. Your teeth chatter uncontrollably thanks to the chilly weather of the changing seasons and you're mildly concerned he won’t be able to make out your muffled, urgent pleas over the phone.

“I w-would’ve gotten an uber earlier but I kept thinking you’d be here any second.” You check your battery level for the umpteenth time knowing that the clock is ticking on your limited communication privileges. “Ugh, my phone is going to die soon. I’m sending you a picture of where I’m standing right now, okay? I’m c-counting on you.”

You hang up quickly and capture a brief, three second video for better reference of your exact location outside the airport’s sliding glass doors. In your rush to share the short video with Jaehyun, your thumb accidentally flicks up through the collection of other videos in your camera roll, mistakenly selecting a different recording without your knowledge or consent. You don’t catch the slip-up before hitting send just within the nick of time. The dim screen fades into complete darkness not a millisecond later, reflective glass mirroring the aggravated features carved into your face.

“Great,” you mutter sarcastically. “Well, I hope he actually gets it.”

Phone dead and patience wearing thin, you’re basically stranded with no means of getting back to the amatuer chauffeur’s small house you’re moving into tonight. The original plan you laid out on the plane was to take care of at least half of the unpacked boxes as soon as you arrived. In your imagination, you pictured stacks of your belongings piled one on top of the other, occupying every corner of your room. Worst case scenario, they’re blocking the pathway to your bed too. It’s no question that your extreme jet lag is going to make it extremely difficult to remove even one single strip of tape; still, you know sleeping under your own covers is a must tonight to endure the cold that you’re unfortunately dealing with at this very moment.

Some may claim it serves you right for assuming you could depend on a person that you have A) never met in person, face-to-face; and B) only conferred with twice over the phone before signing a long-term, lawfully-binding lease with them. It wasn’t Jaehyun’s phone either, it was your other new roommate, Jungwoo’s phone. You doubt Jaehyun even has your number saved to his contacts despite Jungwoo creating a group chat for you guys days ago.

Jaehyun didn’t seem all that bad on those calls. Of course you’re biased though, opinion having been swayed by his good looks. You took one look at those pictures that were attached to the housing search profile website and made up your mind that living with someone that looked like that sounded like a good idea. What’s more is that rent came at a decent price.

You know that the “roommates to lovers” trope doesn’t happen too often in real life but it's nice to dream, right? And who knows, maybe you'll actually get your happily ever after with him Jaehyun.

Whereas Jungwoo is preoccupied with something else tonight, your prince charming was free to taxi you home. In fact, he was the one who offered to pick you up.

What a gentleman, you thought.

You wish you would've turned him down now. Even a pumpkin would have sufficed in this situation, since a fairytale fruit could have carried you halfway home before falling apart.

Jaehyun didn’t forecast traffic to be so brutal tonight. He regrets not looking up the traffic report from the news earlier in the afternoon and poorly timing when he was able to pick you up. If he had done so prior to leaving, he would’ve seen the massive pile up of a car crash in the middle of the freeway just before the correct airport exit.

The state of the weather outside only deepens how bad he feels. He predicts you’re likely a victim of the cold conditions with no clue at what time you’ll be relieved from the threat of frostbite; but he’s sure you’ll gladly appreciate the heated passenger seat and the warmth circulating inside the vehicle instantly when you climb into his car.

He twiddles his thumbs against the steering wheel to the beat of his favorite Kevin Abstract song until the music dies down. When the first verse of the following song plays over the speakers, Jaehyun fishes his phone out of his pocket, aiming to pick out a different tune. The brightness of the screen illuminates the front and temporarily blinds him. As he lowers the brightness, his vision slowly comes into focus. He’s met with a host of blurry notifications and deduces that you’re likely the culprit, being that he can't think of anyone else who has a motive to blow up his phone like this. And rightfully so; he is late after all. The entire lock screen is blocked by charcoal, rectangular shapes he faintly identifies as missed calls, a voicemail, a slew of text messages and a few videos. Within the past 10 minutes, he hasn’t moved an inch, the traffic in a complete and total gridlock. It takes his mind a split second to thoroughly assess the situation and deems it safe enough to choose the videos before the other things you’d sent him.

Eyes still a tad fuzzy, he clicks on Attachment: 2 videos. And for no particular reason, Jaehyun selects the second to play first.

Immediately stunned by what plays out on the screen, he almost fumbles the device to his feet before getting a grip on himself. He cranks down the volume on his phone to keep the moaning vibrating through his car speakers at a minimum. His eyes bulge out of his head as he takes in the dirty scene that’s shown in startlingly high definition. The clear, pixelated sex act you sent him depicts an unidentified girl wearing only a pair of heather grey panties. She was facing away from the camera, bent over on her knees in a rather spacious shower. Whatever it is that she was using to film the self-made porn of hers is waterproof as it is perfectly positioned on the tan, squared tile floor.

She looped a hand underneath herself and in between her legs. Her middle and ring fingers connected with the last article of clothing on her body. She began to rub over a damp puddle of her arousal that had pooled in the middle of her panties.

“Fuck, that feels good,” she moaned. "Just sooo good."

His eyes locked on the naughty girl. Based on how enraptured he is with her, it seems like the recording creeps by at a slow pace. He doesn’t dare check to see how long the video is, preferring to pretend the duration goes on longer than reality. To know that every second is counting down to the end would only bring him disappointment.

What doesn’t disappoint is her dirty talk.

“Do you see how wet I am? All I had to do was think about you fucking me and I could feel my panties getting sticky.”

She circled her fingers around her clit through the visibly soaked underwear. Her moans progressed into little whimpers every so often, twitching slightly as she alternates between various sex noises.

“You know, since the moment I saw you, I wanted you. Actually, more than that. I wanted you inside me,” she purred. “There was something about your lips that made me want them all over me. Or maybe it was your hands because I pictured them choking me.”

Thirty seconds into the video, the wet patch was already larger than before. In Jaheyun’s expert opinion, the visual aspect is not the most salivating part though. He’s always been a sucker for dirty talk. Simply hearing the seductive words that slipped from the slut's mouth would have his erection pitching a tall tent in his sweatpants.

“I really wish you were here. You should know that when I sleep, I always dream about you helping me out exactly like this, and I’ll wake up so wet that I need to change my panties before I drip down my thighs.”

She hooked her finger underneath the cotton material that was basically see-through by that point. He licks his lips as she shifts them to the side, out of the way for the main course, and GOD, is Jaehyun starving for it.

“Do you like what you see?”

He gawks at the sight of her arching her back further, lowering her forearm to the ground. The position made her arousal glisten in the low lighting that was now shining on her most private parts. Her fingers rimmed around her entrance before plunging inside. A whine fell from her hidden lips that he wants to see so badly. If only she would turn around for him so he could study her facial expressions contorting from the stimulation.

“How hard are you right now? I hope I make you really, really hard,” she said in an innocent tone, pulling her fingers out to trace through her folds momentarily.

“So fucking hard,” he’s compelled to whisper out loud for some reason. He spends a handful of seconds wondering who she is; she as in whomever it is filming the video and whether she’s a legit porn star or not because the video is so hot he wouldn’t mind seeing more of her work; and more significantly, she as in you.

Who are you exactly?

Jaehyun’s done his fair share of sexting, each girl on the other side of the screen determined to do anything for him to take them to bed (or his car, an empty room at a house party, or the nearest bathroom - public decency be damned) and fuck them mercilessly. It’s been a while since he’s received or sent any texts, pictures or videos but by no means is this even the 50th naked girl he’s seen in a video sent to him through some messaging app or another. This is a bit different though. You’re basically strangers. You barely learned each other's names last week. Not that he knew every girl he’s ever sexted with personally, but they’d at least had each other's contact information in some form. He can’t recall any reason he should’ve had your number. The blessed video he so oddly received from you summons his attention back when the girl’s fingers dipped inside herself again.

“Hey, I want you to imagine my hand jerking you off instead of your own, okay?” Her breathing was uneven, impairing the audibility of her naughty words that he’s become so infatuated with. “Or pretend it’s my mouth and you’re fucking my throat until I gag. How does that sound?”

All this time Jaehyun has held out from reaching inside his sweatpants but as soon as he hears those words, he's a goner. He hurriedly pulls on the string to untie the bow of his sweatpants and slides his hand under the loose waistband. His hand wraps around his cock right away because he never wears boxers with sweatpants for the sake of comfort. He’s never needed to really.

“Better yet, think about how it’s going to feel when you actually fuck me.”

Within five seconds from when he starts jerking off, he hears a car horn honk impatiently from behind him. He’s surprised to see the traffic picking up speed out of nowhere. He looks down at his phone one last time at the exact beat the girl looked back at the camera.

When YOU look back at the camera.

“I want you to remember I’m yours to use up whenever and however you want to. I’ll see you soon”

Here you are, you and all your glory, fingering yourself on camera. All along it wasn’t some random, slutty girl he was watching, it was his brand new roommate. And above everything, your sex talk is like nothing he’s ever heard before from any girl he's had wrapped around his finger. Amazingly enough, he gets even harder coming to the realization all of that was personally filmed for him.

He doesn't know your thumb was an accomplice to his erection. An accident that was the byproduct of your race against the clock. A fluke in which you have no idea in the slightest at the moment.

Jaehyun drops his phone for real this time. It’s probably for the better though. He doesn’t want his phone within reach. It’s ridiculous for him to pretend that the further away his phone is, the further away this whole situation gets. You just had to go and make this new roommate dynamic complicated. It was already weird enough that you sent that explicit video in the first place but now he’s seen you finger fucking yourself and diligently watched it happen for over 8 minutes. What’s more is that he jerked off to you; albeit, his pleasure being short-lived, it's about the fact that he had started masturbating at all.

The car lurches forward as he hurdles towards a situation that he didn’t anticipate he’d be facing tonight. He doesn’t want to give you the cold shoulder but because it’s your first time meeting, would it be easier to keep his distance and pretend like he didn’t see it?

Deep in thought, Jaehyun doesn't notice right away that he's approaching the airport terminal until silver reflective signs catch his eye. Just as he suspected, you are a shivering mess when he pulls up to the terminal. Even from a ways away, he sees you searching through the glossy windshields of every car that passed through. You balance on your tiptoes for a greater advantage point, weeding through the vehicles, praying Jaehyun would be on the other slide of the tinted glass. Coming into sight, your face turns stony rather than relieved to see his untimely presence. You impatiently yank open the passenger door to his black Mercedes.

“Fiiinally,” you huff. Instead of going for the trunk or the back seat, you pack your roller suitcase into the small space at your feet and climb into the car. You prefer to squish yourself into the passenger seat immediately and hold your stuffed carry-on bag in your lap than take up any additional time in the cold.

Jaehyun clicks the seat warmer on for you without question. “I’m really sorry, y/n. There was an unbelievable amount of traffic and I-”

“I agree. There was an unbelievable amount of traffic. Just so unbelievable, that it’s crazy you’d be this late to pick me up,” you rebuke his honest reasoning. “Can we just go, Jaehyun? I’m really tired and I wanna sleep as soon as we get to your place.”

The driver chuckles. “I'm not lying but believe whatever you want.” He starts up the car, accepting the mission of maneuvering his way through the herd of vehicles that were also picking up new aviation arrivals. “And It’s your place too now, y/n.”

“I mean, I guess,” you grumble stubbornly.

You don’t appreciate how he brushes off what you consider to be a legit accusation with merit and logical support. He gives off this easy-going, unbothered vibe. On any other day, you would find it comforting to have a roommate with these qualities; nevertheless, you interpret his attitude to be inconsiderate and dismissive in this case. As if nothing matters unless it impacts him directly. You furlough the intrusive thought that you like the way your name sounds on his tongue.

The drive to the house is 98% quiet. You don’t speak a word to each other until the point where Jaehyun impulsively breaks the uneasy silence, mustering up the nerve to ask the pressing question on his mind. He had assumed you would bring it up yourself and was leaving it up to you to decide on the right time, but he could sense his skin itching for the truth and the tickle couldn’t be ignored the entire ride home. “So… are we not going to talk about what you sent me?”

Tearing your gaze away from the shadowy abyss outside the window, you redirect a disinterested, weak attention to the inquirer. He didn’t expect himself to find it so cute when you quirk your head to the side to look at him. It would make sense if hearing your voice or watching your face turned him on but finding you to be anything else was surprising.

“What do you mean? Like the voice message or the video thing?”

He carefully turns the corner onto your street. “The video, obviously.”

“Uh, what about the video? Didn’t you find me easier because I sent it?”

“No, y/n, the thing where you-” He clears his throat and acts like pulling into the driveway requires every ounce of concentration to stall. “-well, you know what I mean.”

The rumbling vehicle at last dies with the twist of a car key. You get out of the car, heaving your carry-on bag over your shoulder and yanking your stuffed suitcase to the ground. He’s more confused than you are to receive a lost look from you. You break eye contact when the passenger car door accidentally slams shut harder than you expected it to. His dimples appear faintly, mouth perking upwards as he notices your subtle, frightened jump.

You sigh. “Jaehyun, I really have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Jaehyun doesn’t push further with the topic. He forfeits the question for another, less tense moment, whenever that may be. It’s not like you’ll be very far. You’re living right next door, sharing a wall, practically available to him everyday. He’ll play along with this naive little game of yours for a while if that’s what you desire.

The low sound of wheels rolling away from the vehicle echo through your new neighborhood. Crossing his arms, he leans against the car with no regard to the condensation coating the slick metal of his door. He watches your backside as you lug the roller suitcase up the half dozen, concrete stairs to the porch. There’s never been a time when he wished he could see through clothing more than this very moment. He’s seen you exposed on camera and he’ll never look at you without being reminded of your see through panties. Certainly, that was your goal when you filmed yourself like that exclusively for him.

You enter the passcode to the wide front door. Peering over your shoulder one last time, you’re greeted with what could be interpreted as a lustful gaze with a cheeky, lopsided smirk to match. But then again, maybe you’re looking into it too much. Seeing things that aren’t there isn’t very uncommon for someone with exhaustion. “Thanks for finally picking me up. Night.”

“Sweet dreams, y/n,” Jaehyun remarks after you turn away.

You might’ve second guessed the intent behind the look he gave you but you couldn’t mistake the teasing quality that his words carried. Like he knew something you didn’t and it was both annoying as hell and arousing. You stop in place for a second and sigh loudly.

Living under the same roof as Jaehyun is going to be nothing like you expected it to be and you have yet to find out in which way that is.

Jaehyun’s felt dehydrated all week and it’s all because of you. No matter how much water he drank, he knew he wanted something else on his tongue. His vivid imagination has been flooded with pornographic thoughts of your body ever since watching what you sent him. Picturing his fingertips brushing lightly over your hot skin, pressing his mouth against both pairs of your wet lips, tracing his eyes over your naked figure and much, much more.

In contrast, you’ve only been here a little over a week and there’s nothing you’d like more than to see less of Jaehyun’s stupidly handsome face.

“Morning, beautiful,” he smiles as you enter the kitchen, cocky dimples on display per usual.

“Yeah, it sure is a beautiful morning,” you retort. You head straight for the fridge to remove the coffee creamer, not sparing a single glance to the individual sitting at the counter.

Your comment wasn’t meant to be amusing but he gifts you with hearty laughter anyways. You’ve heard a lot of his laugh this week, nearly twice the amount you would if you were living with Jaehyun alone and not sharing a house with part time parrot Jungwoo. “Why are you always doing that?”

“Doing what?”

The tall stool he’s seated on squeaks across the laminate flooring as he scoots back. “Twisting my words around like you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“Well maybe if you said less words to me you wouldn’t be so let down.” You set the creamer down and reach up to retrieve a mug from the cabinet above. He clasps his hand over yours on the wooden handle, thrusting the marginally-parted door shut. The gesture is so sudden that it causes you to flinch back, hitting his solid frame directly behind you. Your muscles tense up, core tightening as his budge prods your backside.

“Baby, ignoring me is what’s letting me down,” Jaehyun says in a smooth, pleading voice.

With every passing day, his forwardness has steadily increased. If he wouldn’t have come on so strong all of this would’ve been different. What was irritating was that he thought if he kept trying hard, eventually you would break. He’s made flirty comment after flirty comment but he’s never been this close nor have you wanted him this close before. Your body betrays your better judgement, grinding up against him to feel the hot ache swell inside you.

“Just admit it already, no need to be shy anymore. There’s no taking it back, y/n.” He lets go of the cabinet handle to grip your hips instead and that molecule of recovered freedom from his hand is enough to knock some strangled sense into you. He doesn't fight when you push back with intentional force.

“It? What the fuck is it?”

Blinking a half dozen times in confusion snuffs out the aroused spark in his eyes. “You’re- how long are we going to play this game, y/n? Because it’s getting exhausting.”

You scoff. “Jaehyun, there is no fucking game!”

He watches you storm out of the kitchen, too worked up to any conjure patience for coffee. Your acting is commendable, that’s for sure. You could make a career out of it if you wanted to. He’s given you every opportunity to come clean and address the elephant in the room but you’ve played it off like nothing. Your body language, expressions and tone were ultra convincing. You were so good at pretending you don’t know exactly what he’s referencing in that incredibly believable voice of yours, spinning lies left and right from the very start.

Either you regret having sent that naked video or

Jaehyun clicks his tongue as the shot pans out to the full picture.

… there’s an extremely real possibility you truly don’t know it was sent and he’s seen something that was never meant to reach his eyes and a simple solution is nowhere in sight.

Jaehyun’s always maintained this smooth, cool guy reputation, unbothered by nearly everything and just going with the flow of things, but if you studied his behavior now, you’d clearly see he’s basically a different breed. Guilt can do that to a person.

He feels ashamed to be imagining inappropriate scenarios about you since he was the accidental recipient of that video almost two weeks ago. Especially because at the moment, he is sitting across from you on the living room couch. Perverted thoughts infect his mind throughout the day and he’s been too weak to make any effort to find the cure. Shame doesn’t stop his mind from wandering into a daydream of slurping up your cum, every drip that dribbles from the corner of the seam of his lips being your juices, not water. Or the drool that dribbled down his chin from time to time since you arrived, deep in the thought of being in your folds. The only thing that will get Jaehyun through the vampire flick you picked out was the reassurance that the second he was free from Jungwoo’s mandatory roommate bonding night, he would race to his room and rewatch your pornographic video for what may or may not be the millionth time.

“I can't believe you’ve been hiding it from us!” Jungwoo gasps.

“Wha- me? Hiding something?” Jaehyun’s nervous eyes bounce back and forth between his roommates faces’. He had been zoning out and wasn’t watching the movie like you and his accessor. His ears burn, swallowing a guilty lump in his throat.

“You have fangs and perfect skin… why didn’t I put it together sooner that I live with a vampire?” Jungwoo says, his skilled comedic delivery making you laugh. Jaehyun's slightly jealous he hasn't made you laugh like that but there's still a sliver of hope he can in the distant future.

Jaehyun looks at the screen for the first time in 10 minutes, noticing the character’s vaguely similar traits he was being likened to. “Oh, yeah! Sorry for not saying anything.”

He sneaks a few longing glances at you every so often until you finally catch him for the first time towards the end of the movie. Or so he thinks it is the first time you catch him; you’ve noticed several of them without his knowledge ever since the morning you grinded against each other. His fight or flight mode is a mere millimeter away from taking over his senses. He takes a deep breath to calm himself down and will away the erection in his plaid pajama bottoms. Lucky for him, it doesn’t kick in before the credits to the horror film roll down the flat screen tv.

“Wow, great movie choice, y/n,” Jaehyun compliments halfheartedly, springing up from the couch. He scrunches his nose quickly to hike his glasses up to where they belonged, a habit of his that you hate to find adorable. “So…. see you guys tomorrow.”

.....

After bidding you and Jungwoo goodnight as soon as he can, he returns to his room to attend to his daily masturbation routine. He hears you start the water and get in the shower (which conveniently resided on the other side of the wall in his room), leading him to queue up his favorite pornography again. By the time you leave the steamy room, he has already passed out in bed. You are equally as tired as he is, one of those reasons being due to the fact that you did the same exact thing he did in his room to you in the confines of the semi transparent sliding shower doors.

Every glance you catch of Jaehyun's makes your imagination run wild. His lingering, lustful stares remind you of how hard he felt against your ass. Thinking of that dimpled dork nowadays makes you sexually frustrated which is something your previous self would’ve cursed you for.

Unforeseen consequences await you in the dark for being too worn out to pay attention to your surroundings and too lazy to turn on the lights: mistakenly stumbling into one of your roommates bedrooms in the complete dark with the misconception you are entering yours… followed by basically sleepwalking to bed and slipping under the warm covers. You fail to notice that the heavy blankets aren’t yours. You regularly sleep in one of those oversized t-shirts that you were gifted as a kid (but never grew into). For the most part, you stick to the same habit on freezing nights like this one.

Despite the mini heater set up in the corner of the room, the temperature prompts you to snuggle back into what you imagine is your firm, overstuffed body pillow, not a naked body.

You’re too sleepy, nearly reaching dreamland when his fingers connect with the thin material of your panties covering your swollen slit, the temporary side effect of making yourself come just minutes ago. You twitch out of the lasting oversensitivity.

“How does that feel, baby?” Jaehyun asks in a gruff voice.

You hum softy, and arch your back. “S-so good, ugh.”

“God, so it was all just a fucking game. I should’ve known.” He rubs the spot with increased pressure. “Were you this desperate that you had to get in bed with me when I was sleeping?”

“What are y-? This is my bed,” you assert weakly.

“Aw, baby. Do your blankets feel like this? I don’t think so,” he replies, thumbing your panties to the side and diving into your folds in no time. “Does the little slut like it when I touch her like this?” Jaehyun taunts you.

“Fuck, yes. I love it, Jaehyun,” you moan.

He shoves his fingers inside you suddenly, causing you to whimper at the unexpectedness. “Hey, why are you so sensitive, baby?” Playing with yourself made it so that if someone were to even lightly touch your clit, your body would jerk. Jaehyun snorts and chuckles mockingly, connecting the dots and answering his own question. And for that very reason, he pulls his fingers from your wet hole to rub fierce circular shapes over your already throbbing clit. You thrash in his arms and whine loudly. “Be honest with me, what were you doing in that bathroom?”

You take shallow breaths while you twitch from the shock waves of bliss from his fingers. “I w-was playing with my s-self in the shower.”

“Mmmh, what a good girl you are. I love that you make yourself come in the shower,” he praises you in your ear. He kisses your jaw, pressing his hard cock up against your ass just like you missed. “And what were you thinking about, hm?”

“Jaehyun, you know who I was t-thinking about,” you manage to spit out.

“Well, maybe I just wanna hear it from the naughty mouth of yours that I love so much.” He bites down hard on your shoulder and works his mouth back up to your neck. Jaehyun continues to nibble at your skin, imagining he’ll leave marks on your body like that movie you watched earlier to show that you’re his. He’ll welcome the same love bites on his white skin from you later.

“I think about you… fucking me… really hard every time I make myself c-come,” you choke between worn, strained breaths.

“And when was the first time you did that?” he wonders sincerely.

“I… maybe like-”

“Honesty only, baby, I’m warning you.”

His chilling words struck a chord inside you. “I think it was the day b-before we met.”

“That’s what I like to hear, slut.”

Within a blink of an eye, he’s thrown back the covers and at the edge of the bed. Jaehyun yanks you down the bed by your ankles until your ass is nearly hanging off the sheets. It takes only a split second for him to haul your shirt over your head and flings it somewhere in the shadows. Spreading your legs further than you’ve spread them before, he cracks a greedy smile. His dark eyes look you up and down. He hasn’t even started filling you up and yet, you can already imagine how he’ll wear your body out and preemptively feel the soreness awaiting you tomorrow.

“Gonna fuck you so hard just how you like it. That’s all I could think of since you sent me that video before I picked you up from the airport two weeks ago.” He bows down to capture your lips in a searing, sloppy kiss for a dozen seconds then pulls away.

“What does that video have to-” your words dissolve into a half pained and half pleasured sob as he sinks his hard cock inside you all at once.

Your throbbing walls hug his length so perfectly that his moan echoes around his room. He feels snug inside you, like you’re nice and full having your stretched heat plugged full of him. “Fuck, nothing has ever felt so good. A naughty slut like you should be proud, you’re way better than I imagined when you sent me that video of you fucking yourself in the shower.”

“fuck...oh my god. I didn’t mean to send that to you, Jaehyun,” you squeak. If only you had had a reason to text him these past few weeks, you would've seen the damned self-made pornographic text in your messages but instead, you had religiously avoided him. "I had no idea that-" you try to explain the misunderstanding before his hand closes over your throat. He squeezes the sides of your neck, providing you with enough oxygen so you won’t pass out.

“Whack me anywhere if I press too hard, baby,” he tells you, voice laced with compassion he hasn’t shown you once tonight.

You do your best attempt at nodding your head before closing your eyes and enjoying every rough thrust he has to offer. Squelching, lewd noises that come from pumping in and out of you rapidly fill the air. Beads of exhaustion halo around his hairline, putting in maximum effort to fuck you harder than he has ever before and every inch where your skin meets the others sticks together from sweat coating it. He hoists your body up differently, your lower back now levitating above the mattress a few inches for him to stuff a big pillow underneath you. Then he presses your knees to your chest and hits your favorite spot deep inside you repeatedly at an unbelievable rate. He assigns the hand that’s not choking you to abusing your clit with an aggressive speed, leaving your body with no choice but to jerk back and forth by reflex and distorting your vision with the oversensitivity’s influence.

Time passes by in a haze and you have no idea how long it takes you to feel the knots tying in your abdomen again. You whimper as loud as you can manage and he searches your face for any panicked signs of stopping. He watches in wonder as your lips part, eyelids flutter, brow furrows and twitches and takes this as a cue to rub your swollen clit harder and rock inside you at the most ferocious pace he can muster. Releasing the strict hold on your throat, he delivers a few strong spanks to the upper backside of your thighs, snickering when you yelp. He then anchors that hand to the side of your waist and tightly clamps down on your skin to hold you in place and fuck you just the right way you deserve.

You feel a throbbing ache in your core, indicating another overwhelming wave of bliss is knocking at your door, about ready to burst. You can’t manage to keep your fucked out noises from escaping your hoarse throat. It takes all of the last remaining battery life to softly cry out, “I’m yours to use up whenever you want, Jaehyun,” exactly like you remember from that older video he must've been referring to.

As you peak, squeezing your eyes shut and spasming erratically, you hear him groan, “I’m yours too, y/n.” You hold onto the tight, heated sensation for as long as possible with aid from Jaehyun’s persistent thrusts and sensitive stimulation. The moment you feel like you’ve mostly recovered he orders, “get on your fucking knees, whore.”

Quickly doing as you’re told, you drop to the ground, sitting up straight, and rocking back on your heels. You hold your mouth wide open for him to do as he pleases with it. Jaehyun grabs the back of your head with both hands and thrusts himself inside your mouth. Going down your throat in one swift motion, you gag on his cock, choking momentarily before bobbing your head as best you can manage. You look up at him with watery eyes as your jaw painfully extends for his pleasure.

"God, I love your mouth, baby."

You lethargically hum at Jaehyun's praise and wind your arms around his thighs. He shoots his cum mostly down your throat not 10 seconds later while an unrestrained croak rumbles up his own throat. Once he's emptied into your mouth completely, he gingerly pulls you off of him. His thumbs stroke your tear stained cheeks affectionately. A salty, bitter taste coats your mouth as some remaining cum sits in the middle of your tongue. He grins, marveling at how you open your mouth to show him what’s left of himself then swallow gladly because who in their right mind would spit Jaehyun's cum out. Helping you up from the floor, you lick the corners of your lips.

Jaehyun lays back against a few pillows he squishes between himself and the wall at the head of his bed. He waits until both of your lungs have caught a majority of the oxygen generally required for human survival before speaking. “So, y/n... do you really expect me to believe you sent that video by accident?”

You roll your eyes at his insinuation, giggling softly as you crawl up the bed. His charming dimples make an appearance alongside a fond, lopsided smirk. He finally made you laugh- a feat he severely doubted to accomplish so soon. He lifts the blankets up for you to wiggle your way underneath them and into his lap. You're embraced by his muscular arms, the flowery fragrance of fabric softener and his clean-scented cologne that sticks to the navy sheets.

“Well, it’s more believable than traffic that makes you an hour late," you tease, craning your neck around to plant one last kiss on Jaehyun's lips.

!!! I'm fucking siked about Favorite !! i wanted to write a Jaehyun vampire au but i couldn't fit it in quick enough for this comeback so i'm settling with this i guess ?

stream love talk & *Favorite*

➾my masterlist

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saevus-brutalis · 3 years

Photo

Watch out there’s a new senior citizen in town...

After 11 unfinished concept sketches, 20+ hours of work and 213 layers later I finally finished the ultimate reference sheet of my boy Vincent Elijah 😌

I’m gonna probably hate myself for that cyberarm design later when I’ll have to draw it in detail again but oh well i fucking love it.

I guess this is what 8 months of character development does to you (aka never being fully pleased with how your oc looks)

Updated info about this mf below the cut bc i hate long posts💀

don’t repost my artwork without my knowledge or permission

Short basic bio:

Birth name; Elijah Samuel [REDACTED] Full name; Vincent Elijah Vahn (yeah changed it again sue me) Alias; V, Vince (close friends and partner), Mr. Vahn (whilst working for Vault or during a very formal setting) Age; 58 (born on, November 12th, 2019 at 05:31:11AM ) Zodiac/Chinese zodiac: Scorpio/Snake [more info about it here] Height: 198 cm / 6′6″ MBTI; Logistician ISTJ-T [more about it here] Aligment; True Neutral Anthem; Goliath by Woodkid

[More (kinda?) updated info about him here]

Distinct physical features:

A diagonal scar on the bottom of his right hand from slicing his palm multiple times for a blood pack. He really values this type of „deal”, because „Nothing bonds tighter than blood. Nothing means more than a pact singed with blood. It flows within us, a cycle. Then it repeats until the blood cells die but then new ones take their place. And the cycle continues. Unstoppable and constant until we die and the loop breaks and shatters into pieces. They sink to the ground and rot and rot and rot until there’s nothing left. Words? They just can’t give you enough assurance somebody won’t just screw you over. Blood is a promise, words are nothing.” (cringy enough? lol im such a bad poet dunno if it even makes sense)

Now he has streaks of gray hairs so 😌 he’s a silver fox

Stretch marks on the sides of his buttocks and upper thighs

Deep-set eyes

Big hooked nose

Huge mommy milkers

Thunder thighs

Stretched both ears (40mm)

Chrome plates on his ribs - cyber “scars” from lung and heart transplant

Has the number “444” tattooed on the inside of his lower lip.

Cyberware:

Custom made cybernetic arm, model Nocturne PX* 44 Monarch. The prosthetic is made out of a mix of carbon fibers and a material similar to porcelain but far more stronger. It’s light and durable, performs just like a normal ‘ganic arm thanks to complex joints model. The surface of the arm is matte and smooth. It’s littered with countless microscopic sensors and neurocircuits that send touch signals right up to is brain so every inch of his cybernetic arm feels just like his organic one.

Despite being able to afford the most expensive RealSkinn he opted for the “raw” look of it and instead commissioned his ex-input to engrave and redesign it for him.

*PX - Power X (10) - the strongest and most durable model out of the series.Only few models were ever made. This version of the Nocturne Cyberarm is made solely for private (wealthy) clients who were recommended by (for example) a fixer.

Some updated trivia i guess:

He recently started wearing bandanas around his forehead to keep his baby hairs in check but they still keep on falling on his forehead *heavy irritated sigh*

Mostly wears (black) clothes made out of synthetic leather (unless he thrifted some vintage clothes made out of real leather). He prefers leather to denim.

Has handcuffs dangling from his belt loops (at all times) for you know… catching criminals?

Paints his nails funky patters but mainly sticks to muted colors or just black

And for some weird trivia about him:

Definitely calls people „bestie” (especially in a formal setting) (un)ironically just to piss them off

He’s a self-proclaimed Slut™.Fucks basically everything that walks (or not) and looks like a dude. He’s borderline a sex addict. Sometimes he shows the signs of compulsive sexual behavior (hypersexuality).

Uncensored nsft version: here

Also i made a separate Twiter acc (@b_brutalis) so maybe I’ll also start posting there :^) But if you see me follow you for your nsfw art there no you didn’t

#eat him up ladies gents and fellow they thems #oc: Vincent Elijah Vahn #oc: Vincent Elijah Vigo #yeah i changed his name again so i have to fix the tags again....#cant believe i just drew a full on dick on this man #nervy nervy #pp man #have you got hotsies for him yet? please tell me you have #im a proud momma i guess #cyberpunk 2077 oc #male V #cyberpunk male V #cyberpunk 2077 male V #cyberpunk 2077 V #saevus-brutalis art #brut art #saevus brutalis art

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iamanartichoke · 3 years

Text

I wasn't sure if I was going to post this, but I may as well.

I keep starting to reply to things and then stopping bc the words just aren't there, and I suppose I figured out the core of what bothers me so much (and is making me have such a rollercoaster of a fan experience) about the show.

(cut for length)

It's not well-written. My opinion is my opinion, so I'm saying this subjectively, take it or leave it, but ... I feel that it's not well-written. The overall story is fine, and the plot is fine, but I don't know if it's because of the limited number of episodes not being enough to house the story, or because of the relative inexperience of the writer/showrunner+director, or both, or something else, but -

In an earlier reaction post to episode 4, I mentioned really wanting to sink my teeth into all of the subtext I picked up on. That was what made me initially enjoy the episode so much - there were a lot of little moments that I initially felt revealed so much about the characters and about Loki, and I wanted to analyze them. But at some point, as I gathered more information, my perspective changed and now I no longer want to analyze the subtext bc ... subtext = good. Subtext w/out payoff = not as good.

I'll go into more detail in a moment, but I think the tl;dr of it is that I feel like the narrative requires the audience to work way too hard to put together all of the moving pieces here and, like, I kinda just don't want to do that work? Not so much of it, and not in vain. A lot of the enjoyment of Loki's characterization is coming from fans who are rationalizing why he's behaving as he is, but the narrative never actually confirms those rationalizations. It's asking us to figure it out and maybe our conclusions will be correct but maybe they won't, though. At some point, subtext isn't enough without explicit follow-through.

I thought my issue was with the lack of character development - that is, not having enough narrative space to really earn the big things that are happening now, like Loki/Sylvie or Mobius turning against the TVA. And that's still true, to an extent; I still feel like the pacing is all very off and it seems like most of these things kinda came out of nowhere (but are not unbelievable - just undeveloped).

But, yknow, it is what it is, it's a limited series, and I can excuse some things. Ultimately, my issue isn't a problem with what the narrative isn't doing, it's a problem with what the narrative already failed to do and probably cannot recover from at this point.

The narrative has left out significant details that should at least help us do some of the work here. If a person turned on Loki and started episode 1 and had no background knowledge of the character besides that he tried to take over New York - how would that person interpret Loki? Would that person say, oh, well, he's been through X, Y, and Z, and plus A happened, not to mention B, C, and D, so really, it makes sense that he seems off-the-rails, or that he'd want to get ridiculously drunk at the worst time ever.

Maybe we'd like to believe they would, but how would they be getting to that conclusion? The narrative hasn't led them in that direction so, no, they would not say well we have to consider this, this, and that. It would be impossible to really understand Loki as a character from just what we've gotten in the series. The general audience would probably interpret Loki as being out of his element and so it becomes, I wonder how this character is going to get the upper hand here. And, while that's not wrong, it's just so limited.

The narrative at face value does not address Loki's identity crisis from Thor 2011. It does not address his hurt and devastation at being lied to, nor does it address how complicated his self-image is (bc it sucked to begin with and that was before he found out he was part of a race of "monsters," as he'd been taught his entire life). It does not reference Loki being so broken at the end of Thor 2011 that he deliberately let himself fall into the void of space (aka tried to kill himself). It does not reference that he was tortured by Thanos or even that he went through a seriously dark time in between Thor and Avengers, and it absolutely does not reference or address any influence or control of the mind stone.

These are all things that we, the fan audience, know because we've already invested our time into this character's story. But tons of people, the general audience, wouldn't know these things. Or if they did, bc they saw Thor and Avengers, they wouldn't be thinking about them as deeply as we would, nor contextualizing them with how Loki is behaving now, or why it would make sense that he needed to get drunk, or why it's understandable that he needs to keep going-going-going in order to not have a spare second to think or feel.

They'd probably look at Loki, again, as a character who was a villain and is now getting his comeuppance in a place where he has no power or control, and no literal powers, and even when he manages to escape and catch up to the variant, he proceeds to fuck up their plan for seemingly no real reason except that he wanted to get drunk bc he's hedonistic. Which Sylvie even berates him for! I mean. This is not exactly a complex character breakdown, nor a very flattering one, but that's what the narrative has given us.

(If the narrative has addressed Loki's mind control, his torture, his mental breakdown, his suicide attempt, and his general shitty self-esteem as a result of his upbringing, please point it out to me. If the narrative has explicitly acknowledged and referenced these things anywhere and I am missing it, please show me where. Please explain to me how the casual viewer would know any of these things that they need to know in order to actually understand what's happening in this story.)

So I mean, okay, we have a narrative that doesn't paint a full, accurate picture of Loki. Fine, sure. But because the general audience starts out on the wrong footing, they're not going to get out of the overall story what the writers probably intended them to. For example, in episode 3, a lot of us theorized that Loki had some kind of plan - that he broke the timepad on purpose, for some reason, bc otherwise it wasn't believable that he'd be such a failure. But episode 4 revealed that no, there was no bigger plan, Loki just plain old messed up. Which is fine if, again, one is only considering the surface-level portrayal here, but it's not true to Loki's actual characterization.

I mean. Loki is not perfect and Loki actually fails a lot, this is true. He fails for a lot of reasons, but incompetence has never been one of them. Usually it's that either things grew beyond his control, or there ended up being too many moving parts, or he had to change his plan at the last minute due to some roadblock or another being thrown his way, or even that he got in his own way - whatever the case may be for his plans' failures, he was always at least shown to know what he was doing.

That wasn't the case here. The "plan" to fix the Timepad failed as a direct result of Loki's actions, which were careless and made him seem incompetent, like he couldn't even handle this mission. "You had one job," etc. And there were pretty big consequences for this; they were not able to get off-world in time and would have been killed had the TVA not shown up at the last second.

And maybe none of these things matter bc the writers never intended any of this to be a reflection on Loki's character, positive or negative. The situation exists solely because the writers needed to put Loki and Sylvie together in some kind of hopeless scenario so that they could get closer, and thus the narrative could set up their romance. I get that - but, there were other ways to do it that didn't require Loki to look foolish.

Furthermore, the whole reason they needed to set up the romance is to show Loki eventually learning to love himself (like, figuratively but also literally). The audience is supposed to gather that Loki and Sylvie fell for one another, possibly due to the high emotional aspect of, yknow, being about to die (in addition to the variant-bond). The intent is clear: Loki and Sylvie almost die but get rescued at the last minute, having now created an emotional bond --> Loki and Sylvie team up and the narrative further establishes that Loki, at least, has caught feelings --> Loki might confess them but is pruned before he gets the chance --> he somehow survives, he and Sylvie are reunited and don't want to lose one another again, and the combined power of their love is enough to break the sacred timeline and spawn the multiverse, and the reason that the power of their love is so, well, powerful is because it's about self-love and self-acceptance as much as it is about having the capacity to love someone else. The end.

I get all that. The writers more or less said all that. And, I mean, it's certainly not the way I would have chosen to go about it, but it's a fair enough arc to explore. I don't really have an issue with the intent - but my question, however, is this: if the narrative has so far not addressed Loki's background issues (as outlined above), and has furthermore kinda gone out of its way to portray Loki as hedonistic and narcissistic, among other things (like kinda incompetent), and the context the audience starts with is that Loki's this villain who deserves what he gets -

- my question is 1, why should the audience care whether or not Loki gets to a point of loving and accepting himself (thus to make the theme of self-love, via the romance, hold weight) if they don't know that he hates himself to begin with and 2, why should the audience root for Loki to reach that point when so far the perception of him is that he's "kind of an asshole"? if he's a hedonistic narcissist, he probably already has a pretty inflated sense of himself, right? A misplaced inflated sense of himself, at that, because, again, the narrative has made him out to be not that capable of much of anything. (And it didn't start out that way! It seemed to start out with Loki being capable and intelligent but it's like episode 3, in trying to set up the romance, just jumbled it all up somewhere. I think this is why I'm harping on the Loki/Sylvie aspect so much - it's frustrating bc it kinda messes up the whole story and can't even accomplish what it's supposed to anyway.)

Anyway, that's beside the point. What I'm ultimately getting at is, at what point is the audience supposed to get invested in Loki's personal growth journey?

They can't, not really. Without understanding and having the context of everything Loki has been through up until now, and why he hates himself, and why it's so important that he learn to love himself, then the "payoff" becomes kinda pointless bc the significance of it is lost in translation. So suddenly we're left with this romance that comes off as either "Loki loves Sylvie bc of Reasons" (best-case scenario) or "Loki loves Sylvie bc he's vain, narcissistic, and kinda twisted" (worst-case scenario). Neither of these conclusions are what the writers intended or were going for, I'm positive, but there we are, regardless.

In order for the writers' intent in these storylines to land, they need to address the context of what makes these particular stakes high for Loki. So far, they haven't done that. They're asking the audience to pick up on all of these things, and they're showing things that subtextually make sense and are relatively in-character - but only if you realize there's subtext in the first place.

But you can't expect the audience to do all of the work for you. If you don't want the audience to think that Loki is a narcissistic asshole and instead you are trying to convey that, worst-case scenario, he thinks he's a narcissist but is an unreliable narrator, then you have to address that. If you need the audience to understand why you're going the selfcest route and why it's important to explore Loki's capacity to love himself and others, you have to address where that exploration is starting from and why it matters. Etc etc etc.

The narrative isn't doing any of that. And it isn't like it'd be that hard to do it. They don't need to reinvent the wheel here; a lot of the pieces are already there. A few lines of dialogue for context, a brief scene here or there addressing the issues, a little more care and consistency in how Loki handles things - these are all little things that could go a long fucking way in making the narrative stronger.

I'm rambling. My basic point is that my rollercoaster of emotions with this show is because

- as a part of the fan audience, not the general one, I can contextualize and analyze the subtext and come to the conclusions the show wants me to, and thus find the story and the characters more or less enjoyable,

- but I am also going to be using the subtext to come to conclusions that aren't there but probably should be (I think it would be a better story, for example, for Loki to confuse platonic love with romantic love bc it would pave the way to explore just how fucked up Loki's understanding of love - whether of other people or of himself, and the different forms it can take - actually is)

- and when they're ultimately not there, then I think, okay why am I bothering doing all this work just to ultimately feel very unfulfilled? They don't even have to write it the way I would, I'm not saying that, but they do have to do something to make the story feel rewarding.

If we don't get some confirmation of what Loki's been through, and where his headspace is, and why it matters for him to love himself, then the story remains pretty shallow and, for me, it's not fulfilling enough. It's not engaging enough. There isn't actually anything to sink my teeth into, so it becomes kind of boring. Maybe it's rewarding to other people, and that's great for them, but like - I need more than whatever this is.

So I'm just like - well, I had a lot of worries about this show, but my being bored wasn't one of them and now there's only two episodes left and am I really not going to get anything out of this, in the long run? No new canons, no new depths or layers, no new information on Loki's experiences? This is it?

I don't dislike it. I didn't start out disliking it, and I probably wont end up disliking it. I mean, there are a lot of good moments, and good things, and fan service-y things that I appreciate. As far as inspiration for fic goes, it's a goldmine, both plot-wise as well as aesthetic-wise. All of that is great. I don't dislike this show.

But I am disappointed in it, and I feel like I'll be watching the next two episodes lacking the sense of anticipation that would make it exciting. I'll still enjoy them, probably, if for nothing else just the sheer Loki content, but whatever it was I felt watching episodes 1 and 2 is gone and I'm sad about that, too. Because I really wanted to feel fulfilled by this series; I wanted it to fill up the void that Loki's death in IW created three years ago. And I just ... don't feel it. Maybe, maybe that'll change over the course of episodes 5 and 6. I don't know.

Everything that I end up enjoying long-term, I think, will come about as a result of my own interpretations and analysis and while theoretically there's nothing wrong with that, if I had known all I'd get out of this series was more headcanons or support for my current headcanons then, well - that's fine, I suppose, but I'll definitely a little bit robbed.

#loki spoilers #loki series negativity #loki tv series spoilers #loki series spoilers #long post

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realcube · 3 years

Text

speaking 💗 uwu 💗 to the haikyuu!! boys pt 2

part 1

characters: suna, matsukawa, kyōtani, tendō & akaashi

tw// illness, swearing, sexual references, cwinge

Rintarō Suna

bitch- he was shocked

he was feeling sick so you were taking care of him while he lay on the couch looking like the cutest lil’ potato you’ve ever seen

so while you were handing him the soup you made him, you said something along the lines of ‘here’s some wuv-filled soup for my poor honey~’ in the uwu voice

that was the best he felt all day lol

like honestly, you expected him to cringe which is kinda why you did it but he was all for it lmao

‘wait- please do that again, (y/n).’ suna groaned, slowly taking the soup from your hands

you snickered, gently stirring the spoon to cool it down slightly, ‘no. now drink up.’

you picked up the spoon to jab it at his mouth since he was clearly too lazy to drink it himself, but his lips didn’t part no matter how desperately you poked

he shook his head, keeping his lips together

you rolled your eyes, dropping the spoon back into the bowl, ‘stop being a baby and drink the soup!’

suna continued to shake his head, ‘not until you do the voice again.’ he said, his voice hoarse and low.

‘bitch.’ you muttered while rubbing your temples, you were way too tired to deal with his clownery today

‘please, (y/n).’

‘why are you so needy all of a sudden?’ you pouted, trying to think of something to say in the voice that wasn’t too embarrassing

‘i don’t know.’

‘uwu eat your fuckin’ soup, bi--’ you couldn’t even finish your sentence before wheezing at how silly it was to say something like that in ✨the voice✨

suna chuckled, immediately pulling his arm out from underneath the blanket to slurp up your delicious soup

the bowl parted from his lips as he let out a refreshed, ‘ah’ then dropped his gaze to meet yours, ‘you’re so cute.’

Issei Matsukawa

he would look you dead in the eye and smirk

‘what’s wrong with your voice?’

WAIT BUT DON’T TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY BC HE JUST SAID THAT COZ HE PREFERS YOUR NATURAL VOICE LIKE PLEASE DON’T CHANGE IT YOU SOUND SO DIVINE

‘nothing~’ you hummed, still holding your voice at a higher pitch

matsukawa quirked a brow, wondering if he was missing something

the thought occurred to him that maybe this a prank of some sort and you were waiting for him to give an interesting reaction

well, i mean, he’d hate to disappoint so-

he leaned forward to place a kiss on your cheek and wrap you in hug

‘what are you tryin’ to be all cute for, angel?’ he muttered against the sensitive skin of your neck

a light blush dusted across your cheeks so you buried your face into the crook of his neck to hide it, ‘i don’t know.’ you replied in an awkward mix of your natural voice and the uwu voice

matsukawa snickered, rubbing up and down your spine with the large palm of his hand, ‘so you’re not gonna tell me, huh?’ he asked, playfully flicking your spine, resulting in a slightly whimper escaping your lips

‘is this a prank?’ he inquired further, holding a tight grip on your waist so you were unable to pull away - not that you wanted to anyway.

‘kinda.’ you snickered at how surprisingly quick he caught on

‘i fucking knew it.’ he chuckled, pushing you away from him to pressed a rough kiss against you lips, ‘but keep your real voice, angel. not to sound like a simp but it’s one the sweetest things i’ve ever heard.’

‘simp.’

‘shut up.’ he smiled and lightly flicked your back once more

Kentarō Kyōtani

he thought it was a sex thing-

you were just showing him your new-found talent while he was blushing furiously and just like ‘shut up, (y/n)! we’re in public! 😡😳’

and you just kinda shuffled awkwardly ‘what does that have to do with anything?’

‘you can’t just do stuff like that in front of everyone!’

he’d probably pull you onto his lap and cover your mouth with his hand to silence you

in his mind, the uwu voice = calling your s/o ‘daddy’ or ‘mommy’

like- just a bit too taboo to do in public-

you were so confused

‘kyōtani, get you’re filthy, dry hand off my mouth right now’

he wasn’t exactly sure what you said considering that his hand served the purpose of muffling your speech but he did hear that you called him by his full surname opposed to just ‘kyō’, ‘baby’ or ‘babe’ hence, you were probably angry

‘i’m going to move my hand but i swear to god if you do that fucking voice again.’ he growled into your ear, that alone probably should’ve made you feel threatened but knowing kyōtani, he’s all bark and no bite; well, at least when it comes to you

he slowly removed his hand from your mouth and you just shot him the deadliest glare

he’s never going to recover from that one tbh- your eyes alone just scarred him for life

without a word, you grabbed your bag from under your desk to search through it for a moment until you pulled out a small bottle of lotion

‘give me your hands.’

‘no.’ kyōtani rolled his eyes; he didn’t like the idea of putting lotion on his hands bc it’d made his hands slippery and if his hands were lubricated how was he supposed to GRIP?

‘i wasn’t a question.’ you scoffed, grabbing his hand and squeezing a dollop of lotion onto it, ‘have you ever moisturized in your life? your hands are so ashy.’

‘right, okay.’ kyōtani murmured, not even bothering to answer your silly question

‘ashy hands~’ you absentmindedly cooed in the uwu voice while spreading the lotion evenly across his palm

after realising what you hand just said, you immediately shifted your gaze onto kyōtani to see if he was livid >:)

but actually, he was painted a deep shade of red with his head turned away from you

‘you’re going to hell.’ he hissed, not daring to meet your gaze just in case his face erupted in a blush once more

‘i’ll see you there~’

Satori Tendō

he’d look you dead in the eye and try to copy you lmao

like what else was he supposed to do? lmao

plus, he was sure of the fact he could do it better than you ✋

‘uwu-’ he choked on his own spit as that hellish sound left his mouth

‘TENDŌ!!’ you wheezed, covering your mouth to prevent an ungodly noise escaping, ‘sir, your vocal cords-’

‘wait do it again, do it again!’ he encouraged, clasping his hands together to plead

you snickered before raising the pitch of your voice once more, along with throwing up a little peace sign, ‘you’re such a swut!’

now it was tendō’s turn to wheeze

after a while, he was finally able to compose himself and attempt to imitate ✨ the voice ✨

‘you’re a whore!~’

you gasped, slapping a hand over your mouth, ‘WAIT, SATORI THAT WAS SO GOOD!’

tendō quirked a brow, shuffling in closer to you, taking your hand in his and placing a kiss upon the tips of each of your fingers absentmindedly, ‘really?’

‘yeah’ you nodded rapidly, not even bothering to hide the blush that was spreading across your cheeks at his random kisses

‘i love you, baby~’ you hummed, pursing your lips in hoped he’d pick up on what your were asking for

‘i love you way more~’ he cooed, leaning in and connecting his lips with yours

honestly, y’all probably never use the voice again after that

(other than when you play a prank on ushijima :P)

but it’s a fond memory lol

Keiji Akaashi

you did it as a prank but akaashi thought it was for his attention lol

he was just sitting at his desk, ‘studying’ hard (by ‘studying’, i mean he was blankly staring at his notes while thinking about you) while you were sitting on his bed, taking a well-earned break

then you saw a girl on your fyp try the prank out on her bf and ofc you had to try lmao

i mean, it was harmless :)) unlike some of the other pranks floating around

the only thing that could possibly get hurt during this prank was your pride

so you immediately tried it out

‘angel~’ you cooed, trying your best to keep the voice on and stifle a snicker as you watched him visibly perk up upon hearing you, ‘are you hungwy? do you want me to make you some snacks?’

akaashi turned around his chair to look at you and shoot you a sweet smile

HIS SMILE OEIHNFEVBEI pls it’s so holy 🥺🙏

anyway, he replied in his equally as angelic, mellow voice, ‘i’m fine, love. thank you though, you’re so sweet.’

you nodded in response, thinking that you weren’t going to get much of a reaction out him so you were about to go back to scrolling until he inquired further

‘by the way, what’s with the voice?- don’t get me wrong, it’s cute; i’m just curious.’

you let out a sigh, a smile gracing your lips as you figured that you’d end the prank here- you were too impatient to continue lol

‘it was just for a little prank thing.’

an understanding ‘ah’ fell from akaashi’s lips before he got up from his desk and slowly slinked towards you, cupping your face in his soft hands, caressing your cheek gently with his thumb as his lips teasingly hovered over your own

‘well, i’d be lying if i said i’m not fond of it.’ he hummed, his gaze fixated on your eyes for the most part but every few seconds it’d drop to send brief, longing looks at your lips

he stole a quick kiss before backing away slightly, his hand staying glued to your cheek for as long as possible

‘i’ll go fetch us some snacks- i’m suddenly craving popcorn.’

he left you in his room alone, blinking rapidly while trying to process what just happened

you just unlocked suave! akaashi

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dr3amofagame · 3 years

Note

the amount of angst in the post-prison writing you did just gave me massive post-prison dream brainrot and i'm just. sitting here thinking about how sam dealt with the curious looks and glances and having to face what's he's done as a warden. and everyone else's reaction to everything because hey, maybe the prison WAS a torture chamber that nobody deserves to be locked in to be treated like utter trash.

(btw i love your writing and analysis! they give me so much life :DD)

thank you anon!! this universe is ,, Fun ,, im ngl -> have this continuation of it, w/ sapnap and sam!! it’s a bit messy but oh well

(edit: i added these two asks as well bc they fit and i thought it’d be a bit redundant to rewrite this scene lmao -> the implication that dream’s admissions abt exile mightve been the result of ,, torture is. uh. yikes.)

(This one is DARK, please heed the warnings)

TW: PHYSICAL/EMOTIONAL ABUSE (heavy warning for this one), starvation, toxic relationship, manipulation, references to the prison and exile, c!sam/warden!sam critical, violence, blood, dark themes, emotional distress, child abuse, torture

“Be honest,�� Sapnap starts, quiet. “What did you do?”

Sam opens his mouth - hesitates, looks away. He should’ve known that his vague words and half-explanations that had been enough to push away most of the crowd - or at least, postpone the conversation for later - wouldn’t have been nearly enough to convince the man standing in front of him, but a part of him must’ve hoped, anyway. He’s not ready to speak, not ready to admit anything to himself, never mind someone else entirely - but ‘ready’ doesn’t matter, not when Sapnap is right here, waiting.

(He ignores how ‘ready’ didn’t matter for Dream when Sam had gone in, that first time, pick in hand and nothing but questions and rage spinning in an endless cycle in his mind, whirling together into something incomprehensible, insatiable, vicious - he’s not thinking about it.

He can’t think about it.)

“Well?” Sapnap’s voice raises, impatience coloring his tone, and it’s almost enough to draw a chuckle to Sam’s lips - he’d always been a little overeager, not doing well with silence, waiting, even as a kid. It’s part of the reason why he got along with Dream so well, Dream jumping at the chance to spend time with someone that didn’t shut him down for rambling and Sapnap simply excited at the chance to have someone that would join him on his hare-brained schemes instead of dismissing him as a dumb kid- and oh. Right.

The scrunch of his face is the same, Sam realizes, absently, as the expression Sapnap had when he was little; it’s the same crease between his eyebrows, the same slight jut to his bottom lip. Even with a new scar decorating his left jaw and the shadows under his eyes and collection of faint wrinkles belying his stress, he doesn’t look all that different - still looks young, a kid playing dress up in armor too big and too war-torn to belong to him. It’s easy to forget, but even after all the wars they’ve fought, even with all of the combat experience he’s had, Sapnap’s still barely twenty - only a few weeks out of being a teenager.

(He crushes the thought of what that makes Dream - he’s not. Thinking. About. It.)

“Hello? Earth to Sam?” Sapnap snaps his fingers in front of his face, and Sam blinks away the memories, the guilt, boxing it up and filing it neatly away to deal with - later. Never, ideally.

“Are you going to answer my question?”

Only later is now, there’s no escaping this conversation, and Sam. Really doesn’t want to be talking about this, right now. Sapnap fidgets, leaning on his right foot and then his left and then rocking back again - the feeling is mutual, then, but he knows the look in the younger’s eye well enough to know that neither of them are leaving without an explanation leaving Sam’s lips.

(Netherite and iron and smoke, bloodstained pickaxe tipping up a gaunt face, hand reaching around a too-prominent jawline with bruising force - are you going to answer my question, prisoner? Or are we going to have to do this again?

He’s not-

He can’t-)

“I-,” guilt, thick and heavy, circles his throat, chokes the words rising in his mouth. What can he even say? Can words really capture the sweat-slick desperation, the bubbling lava and heat and smoke stealing away all breath and thought, leaving nothing but a humming buzz of rage burning, hissing, begging for release? Can he really describe the endless darkness and weight settling on his shoulders, the hard edges and jagged fear taking anything soft, anything kind? Words swim in the back of his throat, try to reach his teeth, fall short; bloodstained memories haunt the back of his eyelids every time he blinks; there is so much, too much, to say, and yet nothing at all.

How does he even start?

There is no sympathy on Sapnap’s face when Sam looks, but there isn’t any cruelty either, just dark, watching eyes, lips thin and pressed together, jaw clamped shut, tense. Indifference, or a pale imitation of it, meant to hide the mess of his hair, the tremble in his hands, the helpless, desperate thing growing in his pupils. Sam understands and wishes he doesn’t; regrets, and wonders if he has the right, anymore.

“It- started, as an interrogation,” Sam stumbles over his words, stares at his hands because looking at Sapnap’s face will be too much, is too much. “I was angry. The prisoner- Dream- was desperate. That cell-” he shakes his head, remembers obsidian in his hands, remembers tearing away carpet, paintings, plants, remembers leaving the box bareboned, desolate, a cage and nothing more, “It messes with you. Screws with your head. I knew it, he knew it, but I guess we didn’t realize- I guess I didn’t realize-”

(Blood and crunching bone and shrill screams - tell me what you did to him-)

“I needed information. He wasn’t talking. I got- heated, and he laughed, and something- snapped, I guess.”

(I’ll tell you I’m sorry please please sam stop please)

“All I had on me was a pickaxe. He wasn’t talking, I was desperate - angry - I needed to know. I didn’t-”

(I just knew I needed to drag him away, he was ruining everything, he was destroying everything, I just needed him to leave before he brought down the whole damn server with him - the tnt was supposed to be a one time thing)

“It was supposed to be- one time. Was never supposed to happen, at all. But I guess I got mad - for me? For Tommy? I don’t- I don’t know, and it was- easy, you know? Take away the clock, one day. Give him less potatoes the next.”

(It was easy to do it again, I guess, mess with his invitations a little, take some of his stuff. There was nobody around but me and him and he’d ruined so much, he’d messed everything up - I thought that maybe if I took away his armor enough, he wouldn’t be able to go back. He wouldn’t ruin everything.)

“He’d done- so much. He was so awful to Tommy, to everyone- I thought I could prevent that. I thought maybe if I broke him enough, he wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone again. I renamed the pickaxe Will Breaker, to remind me, to remind him, I don’t know. I-”

Sam laughs, tired, poisonous, ignoring the way Sapnap whispers, stricken, looking at his hands and seeing nothing but red. Dream’s face, bruised, bloody, but glimmering with something almost like satisfaction comes to mind - and oh. Oh.

(Bloodstained teeth twisted in a bitter smile - Sam, I thought I had to.)

He gets it now. He wishes he didn't.

“I thought- ha-” His hand comes up to his face - he’s crying. When did he start crying? ”I thought I had to.”

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lochnessies · 3 years

Text

ok here’s a dissection of a post an anon sent me the link to and bc i have the worst time management possible and i completely forgot i had it lol so sorry anon here you go ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

I am constantly thinking about how Edelgard just doesn’t seem designed to appeal to cishet men.

i hate to be the one to break this news to you op but just because a character doesn’t show skin like charlotte fire emblem doesn’t mean she isn’t designed to pander to men. she’s very much designed to pander to the (majority straight male) player base with her ‘uwu i only trust you professor omg did u see that rat? pls don’t look at my painting of you uwu’.

then there’s the whole edelgard c support in japanese where byleth makes reference to having come to her room for ‘yobi’ which is

there’s also the scene where byleth can make an unsolicited comment about edelgard’s breast size. which is… uhh… gross.

edelgard also has cipher cards that go from slightly fanserviceie to full on suggestive

and also her breast armor that my sister relentlessly mocked lol

and here’s a chart from the 3h subreddit about gender/sexually in regards to edelgard and edeleth. it’s extremely straight male. op might have just overlooked this since they probably don’t go on reddit and stay on tumblr (which unlike reddit is mostly female and has a high lgbt demographic).

Like the joke is that Bleagles is the Gay House, but everything about her feels deliberately non-hetero.

i don’t like where this is going…

She’s dressed in sharp outfits covering her upper body, with proportions that don’t seem exaggerated.

so women who cover up must be lgbt because straight women are naturally more revealing? oh y i k e s

Her poise and the way she effortlessly flourishes her axe exhibits an air of coolness. While titties out =/= character of no substance, Edelgard being dressed more modestly suggests that she wasn’t designed with male-centred fanservice in mind.

“titties don’t equal no substance but here’s my post on how she has more substance because she doesn’t show titties” ok

And she still looks absolutely stunning in her more modest attire (like seriously, I haven’t felt the need to return to cosplay in years but I want to do her academy look so bad).

yes she does. amazing design 10/10. i have a feeling this is the only part i’m going to agree with

Edelgard is intense. She does not mince her words and she is constantly evaluating you. Though she tries, she has a difficult time understanding her peers initially. Early on, she talks about how she would sacrifice herself and others in the name of some greater good. She is terrible at communicating with her peers. She has to be seen as infallible. Her heart has been hardened for years and she assumes she has to stay that way. She also assumes everyone mourns the same way she does - which is why she (kind of insensitively) insists you move on when Jeralt dies. Because to her, grief has to be channeled towards action, or else you’ll get lost in it. This attitude is demonstrated time and time again as she presses on. It can make her come off as cold and unfeeling - but look closer, and she’s anything but.

don’t really have anything to say at this part. it is pretty on the nose though i would slightly disagree with that last sentence a bit. i wouldn’t say she’s as i feeling as hubert is but all of her talks of the war boil down to how she feels and never her victims.

Her story is ultimately about her realizing that to achieve her goals, she needs to let people in and allow herself to want things like cakes and tea parties and lazy days in peace.

????? what ????? her goals include imperialism, ethnic and religious targeting. her story is about having a set of beliefs and mowing down anybody who stands in her way. that has nothing to do with tea, friends, and lazy days. also am i supposed to be sad that she has to get up everyday and work? i do that and i didn’t start a war and only throw a pity party for myself

The game leaves the player guessing as to how involved the Flame Emperor was in each Part I event, makes you feel hurt by her betrayal, and leaves you with a choice: do you follow the orders of the woman who tried to make you a god without your consent, or a young girl with questionable morals about to throw the world into upheaval?

this isn’t an ideal situation but i think i’m going to stick with the woman who tried to make me a god since i’m not selfish and i know it’s not only my desires and life at stake here. plus the green hair slaps ngl

Choosing her of your own volition (not for completionist reasons) requires the basic ability to sympathize with a woman’s pain. It also requires the player to read beyond her unwavering will and dubious methods to get a sense of how deep that pain goes and how the theme of humanity relates to her differently in each route.

i’m not going to touch this since @nilsh13 made a post on it that i’ll link here. i agree with everything he said so to repeat it would be redundant.

The player must be able to see a young woman’s desperate resolve to change the world so it stops exploiting people and ruining lives. They must be able to accept the fact that women can make the same morally wrong and ambivalent decisions that complicated male characters get to make all the time and still be the one to root for.

literally the same reason i love rhea lol her goddess experiments are dubious at best but her reasons are the same you mentioned. i would say that i like this quality in edelgard too if her ending, while bloody, actually ended in a good outcome for fodlan.

This is not unique to LGBT+ people, but this population is likely to understand why Edelgard feels so strongly about why she has to change the system.

i understand wanting to change a system, i really do. like edelgard, i’m an opinionated bisexual woman (who’s also physically disabled) so yeah i get it. and change can be good but it can also be terrible. even if the church was the boogeyman edelgard treats it as she still replaces it with her own shit regime. so it’s the same circus just with a new conductor.

I don’t think “Edelgard gets undue criticism because she’s a woman” captures the full picture. An important aspect of her treatment by certain parts of the fandom is that she’s a radical woman.

or maybe she does some pretty fucked up shit and it goes unacknowledged in her own route. and yeah she’s radical but in all the worst ways.

Her hatred of the Church and the Crest system resonates way harder with people who have been hurt by institutions that are deeply engrained in our society.

and what about people who have been hurt by systems where their ‘merit’ didn’t measure up and they were left behind? what about people from nations that experienced imperialism?

Siding with her means siding against the Church - which, while different from real world religious institutions, still invokes language about “sin” and “punishment.

yeah the ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ are used in relation to attempted murders which i think everybody can agree is a bad thing that needs to be condemned.

Choosing Edelgard will likely hit different if homophobic and transphobic Christians used that rhetoric against you.

it has literally nothing to do with ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ in regards to being gay or trans. that’s you projecting. especially since the church has 2 canon gay characters and two coded ones.

like i can understand why having a church condemn you can be uncomfortable but i’m begging you to please look at the context of what’s happening.

I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that the reason F/F Edeleth is the more popular iteration of that ship because most people who would choose to S-support Edelgard are LGBT+ themselves. This is not a revelation. To anyone in the community, it’s fairly obvious.

i was talking to nilish and he said

so yeah… while there is definitely sapphic femleth shippers out there, there’s still a whole lot of weird fetishizing going on from straight men about edelgard.

Crimson Flower was my first route. I went into the game knowing absolutely nothing. I played it during the last week of 2020 and hoo boy was it cathartic.

i can tell. this wasn’t supposed to be a dig but it came out that way and i’m not taking it out.

I felt like I was living out a gay revolution power fantasy, where I could truly change systems of oppression while fighting alongside a group of troubled students I’d shaped the lives of.

so a gay revolution power fantasy (cringe) goes hand in hand with imperialism and installing a dictatorship? also the war had nothing to do with sexuality.

Through your unwavering support, Edelgard learns that she needs to be human, that she must listen to her friends, and that she’s allowed to enjoy the world she’s creating.

edelgard gets to learn how to be human all while hunting those who don’t. and she doesn’t listen fo her friends. she doesn’t even trust them. she’s willing to talk to byleth but keep the people who’s been by her side for five years in the dark about everything. and yeah she gets to enjoy her new words since she’s on top. hate to be a commoner under her rule after she burned down my village in her war.

I love this character so much.

clearly. and i honestly don’t care if somebody likes her. i do as well even if my sometimes scathing words can make it seem otherwise.

It has been six months since I first played and I am still analyzing her,

me too. please help me escape i’m losing my mind

because there’s so much depth. Yet so many people fail to see that depth and dismiss her as evil,

i mean, she does some fucked up shit that goes beyond any of the less than desirable actions of the other main characters and does an extremely poor job in trying to make herself seem innocent. i personally don’t think she’s pure evil but i completely understand where the people who say she is are coming from.

because they never had the will to understand complicated women in the first place.

that’s big talk from somebody who implies that a gay pope is comparable to homophobic and transphobic irl religions and that leads an oppressive regime all because she uses the vague terms of sin and punishments that you have to gay power fantasy your way out of

#i finished this at 1am so sorry if i’m incoherent #mine

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multiplefandomsblog · 3 years

Note

Can i request how different idv characters would act as roommates? Eli, Helena, Luca, Edgar, Vera, Norton and Fiona if thats alright with you :DDD

warnings? kinda suggestive, crack fic, cussing

mod toby and mod bread helped me do this fic, its a bit all over the place but it was fun so no regrets

Eli Clark

I feel like being roommates with eli would be pretty pleasant

everything would be clean all the time

he’s the type of kid that everyone wants on their team because of how good he is at everything

so if you scored a roomie like him, you got super lucky

if you left a mess he wouldn’t get mad, he would probably just clean it up himself and leave a sticky note that said to clean up ur mess next time(but not like, passive aggressively)

ofc you would clean up after the cute sticky note, bc who can say no to this bb?

If you don’t clean up tho, brooke rose will probably shit on your hair when u sleep

tbh you’ve always wondered what eli looked like without his eye mask

so one time when Eli was sleeping, you went next to his bed to try and take his eye mask off and see what he looks like.

You took off the mask and found out it was a dummy

a few seconds later you heard footsteps and you turned around

Eli came up behind you and knocked you out with a bat

you two don’t speak of that day.

Brooke kept screeching last night, and you got no sleep at all, so I guess we’re having chicken for dinner

Unless you had a good reason, then eli and brooke prob won’t mind cleaning up after u

I can imagine you going back to your shared room in the manor after a rough match and seeing eli just sweeping the room in an apron and a cloth covering his hair looking like cinderella

“Honey, I’m home!”

basically if you lived with eli, you basically had a husband/mom/wife???

If you came back to the manor, beaten up and bruised from the last match he would prob pester you and nag you

while cleaning up you wounds he would prob say, “You have to be more careful, im always worrying. You’re gonna give your mom a heart attack!”

seriously tho, don’t worry this bb, he would actually have a heart attack

Helena Adams

i think living with helena would probably feel like some sort of kdrama

she might be a bit clumsy and trip over a few things, falling into your arms bc of her blindness

though she might be doing it on purpose

If you moved things in the room without telling her, she would probably get mad

for example, you move the sofa chair a little bit to the right bc you thought it looked better

helena walks in the room, sits down on the sofa chair and ends up accidentally sitting on the sofa chair arm rest instead

resulting in her bottom hurting and a very long talk with you

she got her revenge weeks later

she had asked you to check under her bed for monsters because she couldn’t do it herself

you were teasing her for still being afraid of monsters but looked underneath anyways

low and behold,

she put a mirror there.

will even wack you with her cane if you’re being annoying

Her cane is pretty affective in shutting you up lol only sometimes

“Hey Helena, are you braille? ‘cause i can read you like a book when i touch yo-” *wack* *moans*

helena: ...

you: ...

helena: ...im leaving

you: heleNA WAIT-

One time everyone at the manor was celebrating Helena’s birthday with a piñata, 2 seconds later she was beating the shit out of Luca with her cane

even after everyone’s been yelling that he wasn’t the piñata

One time you and Helena had a staring contest because you were both bored.

She won.

sometimes to get her close to you, you would sit on the sofa chair super quietly and still

And then you’d wait for her to come and sit on your lap thinking it was the chair

and it would work

she would probably sit on your lap for a few minutes, confused as to why the chair felt elevated

and then she would feel your arms snake around her waist

and she would- “whAT THE FUCK- SCREEEEEEE”

she would probably make a cute bird noise and then just sit there, not knowing if she should leave or not

in her head, “THEIR LAP IS SO WARM OH MY GOD WHY DIDN’T THIS HAPPEN SOONER”

in real life, “let go of me you pathetic mortal”

you’d beg her to stay on ur lap longer and she would cave in

but she didn’t stay because she liked you! baka

Luca Balsa

living with luca will probably be the opposite of eli’s

messes, everywhere

inventions, everywhere

at one point though you had a sneaking suspicion he might be a bunch of rats.

you saw him outside crouching beside you guys’ room with a bunch of rats coming out his sleeve and running into a crack in the building

“its for science!”

he’s also super scared of helena

Luca doesn’t like to admit it, but he got his purple eye from Helena after he made a bad pick-up line for the blind.

She’s been chanting “one of us” and threatening to “finish the job” ever since.

he’s basically a big baby that needs to be taken care of

i feel like he might break down sometimes from not doing his invention right, or feeling insecure

but i guess his rats are there to help

but since he had a roomie, he wouldn’t be able to cry on his own

and its a good thing because he doesnt have to do everything by himself anymore

he learns to ask for help when living with you

you’d help him through his episodes and he would slowly start to become more reliant on you

if he was feeling a bit moody, he would unconsciously try to find you to cuddle with

if you lived with him, you’d probably have to be very responsible

luca would have his own bed that he would never sleep in because he wouldn’t be able to sleep without you in his arms

everytime he shifts in bed, you’d feel a tiny shock

it kinda bothered you so

you pranked Luca by touching him with those zappy ring things you’d get from a dollar store.

You just wanted that mother fucker to get a taste of his own medicine

he would basically be a puppy that follow you around, he would constantly old your head

probably refers to you as his

like if you downed a shot that barmaid made for you, he would be like, “EYYYY THATS MY BABy-heurghrhgh”

now you have a drunk baby that you have to take care of

You tried giving luca a shower afterwards, now you know how it feels getting electrocuted.

And trust me, Luca and water do not mix.

good luck have fun

Edgar Valden

living with edgar would consist of

1. edgar being super specific of what was his and what you can’t touch

2. big tsundere baby

3. sketches of you hiding in his sketch book

if you lived with edgar, you’d have to be super patient with his nagging or else you’d have to find a new roomie

he’s constantly nagging you

but if you are tired of it and give him the silent treatment, he’d probably just nag you even more for attention

you need to give this man attention or else

you ignored him for a whole day once because he said something mean

he decided to give you some milk and cookies as an apology

the ‘milk’ was his muddy paint water and the cookies were expired

i feel like one day you two would be arguing about who moved his stuff, your argument being he unconsciously moved his stuff, his argument being you moved his stuff

you guys were so heated up you didn’t notice how close you two were getting

edgar ended up pouncing on you like a feral dog

though when you woke up, you both agreed that you ended up winning the argument

when you’re reading or just doing nothing, he’d ask to sketch you or paint you

i-its not because he thinks you’re beautiful or anything

its just because he thinks that your whole self is aesthetically pleasing and pleasing to the eye- but not because he thinks you’re pretty!

sometimes when he was super focused on his art, he wouldn’t notice your figure slowly approach him

you’d boop his nose and watch as he froze

wh- hoW DARE YOU LAY YOUR HANDS ON A VALDEN

secretly tho, he really loves it when you do that.

do it more

please or not whatever

Vera Nair

Vera would probably be a bit anxious when she heard she was gonna get a roomie

but she would do her best to be at her best behaviour

she’s very well mannered and is very polite

she’d kinda be the type to silently care for you

like, she’d notice the little things that bothered you and made sure they wouldn’t bother you ever again

like, if you stubbed your toe alot, she would give everything that you could stub your toe with, rubber covers or socks

but she wouldn’t tell you it was her even though it was obviously her

if you fell asleep on your desk instead of your bed, she would probably but a blanket on ur shoulders and a pillow underneath where you left your head

she’s the thoughtful type

before you went for matches, she’d give you a cheek kiss for good luck

and if you did the same, she would probably play it cool but then panic a second later.

theykissedmetheykissedmetheykissedme-

im sorry this is short idk what to do for her-

Norton Campbell

oh BOY

once norton starts to warm up to you, you guys are basically married

like there was no proposal, just “do you take this man to be your husband- you can’t say no”

he would probably take care of you alot

even when you didn’t need it

i can do it mysel- no

but actually, before he warmed up to you he was pretty cold,

he felt himself growing feelings for you

and he didn’t want to because he was afraid he would lose you and he would have to go through the heartbreak of losing someone all over again

he would leave the room to go hang out somewhere else

he would keep his distance and not talk with you much

but there was this one time where you woke up with him around you, you just pretended you didn’t wake up and relished in the feeling

it took some time, but eventually he warmed up to you

though he still constantly worries about you, he doesn’t want you to get hurt

during matches he would always take hits for you, and just stay closer to you in general

he wanted to make sure you got back to the manor safely, it didn’t matter if he was sent back via rocket chair

he always put you as his #1 priority

he also gets jealous super easily, he’s scared someone will swoop you away from him

so to make sure everyone knows that you belong to him, he’d give you his clothes to wear

not only do his clothes look adorable on you, everyone will know that you’re his

probably pester you a lot if you tripped or got a paper cut

“yoU COULD HAVE DIED” “IT WAS A PAPER CUT”

Once, Norton got stuck to the fridge like a magnet for 5 hours

He’s been using that as an excuse to force you to bring him his snacks every since.

pick up lines are a definite yes

sometimes you’d be shitting and you’d hear outside the bathroom door a faint,

“My love for you is like Diarrhea.” “norton what the fuck im shitting-” “i just can’t hold it in” cue camera zooming in on his face and him smirking into the camera “OH MY GOD WHY”

like Luca, his bed is useless. he always needs you in his arms when sleeping, he wants to protect you and just feel you closer to him

puts him at ease

kisses? hell yes.

if you had to go to a match without him he would send you off with a ton of gross wet kisses on your face ew

He might even try to seduce you into staying

“norton I’m gonna lose morality points!” “fuck your morality points, i wanna smash”

Fiona Gilman

I feel like fiona would probably super psyched when she heard about sharing rooms with you

I headcanon her to be super bubbly and social but when she is alone with her thoughts she’d probably regret everything

“why did i say that why did i say that why did i say that-”

probably prays to god, “please kill me”

she tries her best to make sure you’re comfortable

she doesnt make a big mess and she makes sure she cleans up after herself, overall a pretty cool roommate

except for those times for when she tries to babtize you while you’re showering-

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING” “THE LORD SHALL CLEANSE YOUR SOUL WITH HOLY WATER-” “what the f- iS THIS ALCOHOL???”

this has happened too many times^^^

one time she accidentally created an ultra portal in the toilet.

Y’all still have no idea where it leads, and no intent of finding out.

Although, Kreacher has been complaining of some nasty stuff appearing in his room

i feel like during matches she would always call you with her portals to say hi or just give you a small kiss

it stopped being cute when she went through the portal and ended up seeing the hunter instead of you

mentally scarred from that

sometimes things would disappear in your shared room too, not only the toilet

you’re convinced she has a bunch of hidden portals in the room

like, one time you dropped a pencil and it went through the ground.

you never saw it again

Or you know that missing sock?

Portaled.

i dont know what this turned into

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karanoid · 3 years

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about top joe discord

LET ME ADDRESS A FEW POINTS:

There has been many fear and anxiety regardless the top!joe discord I made. I understand how it gives my discord a bad reputation. Somebody has kindly reached out to me to ask me addressing several points, which I’m now gonna clarify:

1. I am racist, I asked why, and they said mostly because of my dismissive behavior to people who called me out for drawing yusuf adorned in gold jewelry which made their friends feel unsafe. So, I am a muslim and was raised in a muslim household and community. I am fucking brown.

I didn’t say it because you don’t need to know that about me. What bothers me is how some people feel the need to come to my inbox informing me “maam yusuf is a religious muslim who prays 5 times a day and do all the supplementary prayers all while he drinks alcohol and fuck nicky in the dailies, he wouldnt be wearing gold maam no maam.” as if I didn’t know any better. so please, now don’t do that. If you care so much about the littlest details like wearing gold then you’ll also call out yusuf because he draws living beings and drinks champagne. yes it’s true muslim men are forbidden from wearing gold AND silk but let’s not forget, nothing in the comic and movies imply yusuf has ever been religious. It’s easier to see nicolo as religious because he was a fucking priest. Yusuf was a fucking merchant, it’s easy to see that he’d be less faithful because he would have been travelling and seen many kind of people to broaden his horizons and not contained to a little bubble of hyper religious community. However, let me remind you: whether yusuf AND nicolo are religious or not is entirely UP TO THE AUTHOR/ARTIST. It’s totally fine to make him religious and if you can respect it THATS GREAT, I ALSO LIKE HIM THAT WAY, but please remember it’s not even canon and hey sometimes I just draw things because I like the aesthetics. Also please, do not harass writers for getting a thing or two incorrect, even white people cannot get christianity correct, even between two muslims could be a disagreement whether this fic’s yusuf is problematic or not. I wouldn’t even expect anything more and THAT’S OKAY. Just don’t be an ass to muslims of color in real life and don’t fall into the believe that it’s a religion of violence. you can say that greg made him that way bc he knew nothing better but hey, I have no problem with that. again, it’s fine to make him religious, I’d be delighted but it’s ALSO fine to make him not religious.

2. I think that people only write Top!Nicky out of political correctness. OKAY. I apologize for this. I thought like this because I have accounts telling me that they were pressured into writing top!nicky or they wanted more readerships so I make a BIG assumption. I realized this is only a small part of switch and top!nicky fics and the big bulk of this must be out of genuine care. So yeah, I apologize for thinking that people only write top!nicky out of political correctness. I think writers should be allowed to write whatever they want. Yes this includes top!Nicky. And in whatever kinks they want it. However, this still doesn’t change that the discourses do scare people away from writing top!joe. Write top!nicky however you want, but stop vague-blogging about top!joe. racism isn’t inherent to top!joe and you can always remind people to be mindful with their writings but discouraging people from writing top!joe is not the solution.

3. Top!joe is racist and people in the discord are racist. Okay, I am gonna touch several aspects why top!joe discord is considered racist: (1) because I don’t like to switch them, therefore I am racist. Sorry that’s not how it works. I have a clear preference and that’s just how I roll. Besides, a lot of people in the discord (including me) think either they switch (because they are 900 yo) or joe just doesn’t like bottoming. I’m not the kind of people who refers to reality for fiction I consume but people who prefer to top or to bottom exist (2) i want to be away from accountability and responsibility. Nope. The reason I made it is because I wanted to gather people with same interest as mine.

4. I paint Yusuf as aggressive and the whole discord like him being an aggressive top. I think this is the only reason why the discord is seen in a negative light. Because wow what a coincidence that someone vagueblogged my discord at the day I celebrated about Nicky suggesting 20 years and wrote a post about how Joe is allowed to be angry. And beside someone made the WRONG assumption that we are focusing on Joe’s anger and violence (what). Okay, I don’t know how to break this down. But I will try. First, yes I was overjoyed at the news. Because I’m one of the people that do not like feral!nicky headcanon. I liked it at first bc it was funny but then it was twisted into Nicky being cold. So I don’t like it (lol), I still like it though but like I don’t seriously think that way. However, I never liked the idea that Nicky suggested higher than Joe. Because then his character just doesn’t click with me, there was a cognitive dissonance for me because joe clearly says nicky’s heart overflows kindness, you can see nicky as a medic in the credit montage. Also, from their body language and from the way the movie set em up, I think Joe is the one who suggested higher and I am glad to be proven right. Second, I did write a post about how Joe is allowed to be angry at Booker. People agreed with me, so I was not alone. But the reason I wrote that post is not because I wanted to paint yusuf as aggressive, but because I’m tired at people who think Joe shouldn’t display any negative emotions. I think it’s out of character. I do NOT think Joe is aggressive. That is NOT his wholeass personality. If you looked at my tog art tag, never once I portrayed Joe as anything aggressive. If I do, please show me. Third, people are conflating this with my post where I reblogged with a comment that implies aggressive Joe isn’t racism. Okay in this, the context is IN BED. It’s Joe being aggressive in BED. It’s literally BED ROLES AND FANTASY. I don’t even have a particular scenario in my head when I reblogged that, the original post clearly refers to bed roles with manhandling and kinks etc. like, why would you spank someone in public? Lastly, about the discord, NOPE, most people in the discord agree that Joe is either a GENTLE DOM or SERVICE TOP. But in my opinion, if someone likes Joe as an aggressive top (again, bed roles baby) I really don’t think it’s racism. It’s just... projection?

anyway, back to joe’s emotions, these are posts from a moroccan man (paragraph #7) and a brown woman whose posts I agree with. Let’s be real, people of color are expected to shut up in favor of white people’s fragile feelings.

Now, about racism in fandom. I understand the concern because muslim men are painted as violent and aggressive. You know what I will never forgive those radicals for taking away innocents lives and to leave a lasting damage in how muslims are perceived in the west. However, you have to keep in mind, Joe in the movie is far from being stereotyped. I mean, Gina and Marwan practically greenlit him? Now, you might have concerns that writers are gonna turn him into a walking stereotype which is... okay, I understand that concern. But the solution is to communicate this ‘hey I think you make him too stereotypical in this etc etc’ not “write more top!nicky AND shame top!joe” because again, top!joe is not inherently racist.

also some people mentioned that they hope I recognize racial bias in the ship. dude, that goes without saying, all aspects of your life will be influenced by racial biases. however, this kind of thing is not specific to fandom/shipping. Like I said I’m fucking brown, friends and families with facial features that cater to white expectation are treated better. I did say at the bottom of this post, yeah I did notice why it’s always a brown character who’s always openly mad. And that’s in itself a form of racial bias. Racial biases affect everyone, white or POC, it doesn’t matter. But I got an issue with how people think this is racism. like how convenient, if by falling to racial biases mean you are a racist then what about those white people who created this racial biases in the first place? and I noticed the persons who got the audacity to cry about everything in this fandom is white?? I mean okay, they don’t know what I am, but not everyone is comfortable with sharing their private information like ethnic group, faith, etc. what if they really don’t want to share it? Because like you said, racial bias, whether good or bad will affect me. Now, I don’t know what white people are feeling, I’m not white. However, based on my interactions with them. We’re all just people sharing same interest, it could be they fall into racial biases, but all we shared about are just regular HCs. Even people making a conscious effort to combat racial bias still in essence fall for racial bias. You just cannot escape it.

According to this post, fandom assumes that the bottom is the proxy of writers, I don’t think this is applicable to everyone but let’s just say it’s true and people tend to write about their projection better so I’m gonna assume the racism part comes from the fact that..yeah I do think the bottom usually gets more fleshed out as a result of them being the writers proxy, so somebody posted this in the discord which I agree because yes I do think there’s a lack about yusuf’s background especially when it comes to crusade era:

but since I know most writers aren’t muslims, to me it’s not so much about racism but they simply know nothing about it, and not always out of ignorance either but in this climate, if you get a thing or two wrong you’d get harassed. so *shrugs* I understand the reluctancy. But here’s the thing, this is not about top/bottom issue but because most of the fandom are white so they have more freedom in writing the white character. Anyway, plenty of people have projected themselves into yusuf already, the whole “top/bottom” thing in this fandom is not even a thing. Yes, some writers project on the bottom so if you prefer bottom!joe that’s fine, somebody in the discord is doing a research and it turned out top!joe wasn’t even a CLEAR majority in JULY. So clearly they got their share already?

so please, let’s stop with the vitriol. if people are preferring top!joe it’s clearly because of different preferences. it’s not that deep. it’s the same way with how some people are preferring top!nicky. But we’re being driven out based on a hypothetical scenarios? like what do you want? for us to cease existing??? don’t be ridiculous.

I know people won’t listen to me. So this is my suggestion: LETS JUST IGNORE THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE. LET’S ALL JUST AGREE TO DISAGREE.

#discourse #the old guard #joe x nicky #kaysanova #immortal husbands

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astaneys · 2 years

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Let’s talk about This is me trying!!!

(I know that I already did in this post but I love this song so here we go)

Honestly there is so much in between the lines.

So I think on the surface for a casual listener the song is about burnout gifted person and there is also something about a romance? But it’s obviously more there bc it’s written by a genius writer hehe

So let’s have a look at the lyrics:

I’ve been having a hard time adjusting

So the first thing we learn is that the protagonist (it’s not Taylor exactly because theoretically she could write from a fictional perspective, but idc so don’t kill me when I call the main character TS) needs adjust. Adjust to what?

Well usually you need to adjust to a new, probably unknown situation you’re not used to. And she is telling us she’s having a hard time with it.

Which situation could be meant? When was Taylor thrown into a position she was unprepared and uncomfortable with?

Obviously her Rep era. The media and certain people (who’s name I’m not gonna take into my mouth because ew) put her there and painted her the villain. As she has a hard time to adjust she is uncertain how to react.

And yeah I’m convinced that this song is about the rep era and there a multiple lines that show this and I’m gonna show y’all.

I had the shiniest wheels now they’re rusting

Car metaphors mhm… She kinda likes these? Also there is a second line that refers to the car picture and I’m gonna talk later about it.

So here she speaks about wheels, which are like- very necessary to move if your in a car. You could say they’re her abilities to go forward or to reach something maybe a goal or whatever. And they were very shiny, the shiniest so the best and the newest, the most attractive.

I like to think that she is referring to her song writing abilities. She was young and new, but instantly successful, because she was good (like- she still is but nvm who am I telling this)

But here she is saying that her wheels, her abilities to catch peoples attention and to make like- popular songs are breaking down. The wheels are no longer shiny, they are old and probably gonna be exchanged soon.

The vibe this is radiating is veeeery reminiscent to Nothing New?

People love an ingénue

The society loves the young new artist, Taylor once was, when she was still shiny

The kinda radiance she’ll only have at seventeen

She’ll know the way and then she’ll say she gotten map from me

I’ll say I’m happy for her then I’ll cry myself to sleep

She is definitely scared to loose her popularity, to be exchanged bya younger version of herself.

I‘m zoning out. (Should I also talk about Nothing New?) Anyways my point is that she is scared to loose her shininess OR she actually already lost them. Because NOW they’re rusting.

Wait what could she mean-?

Yup it’s Rep again. As I already said, she lost her image and now she is the evil, vicious one.

I didn’t know if you‘d care if I came back

I have a lot of regrets about that

She is saying she left a place and a person and now she regrets it, but is uncertain if the person she left would take her back if she decided to try again.

What place did she left?

What person?

Well considering the whole Rep picture that is showing through these lyrics, the place seems to be like- the music industry? The „celebrity bubble“? The media? After the whole shitstorm Taylor had to go through she left.

Nobody’s heard from me for months

She disappeared.

Who is the person she left behind?

Well there are kinda multiple answers to this question but it think only on of them really makes sense.

At first I thought that this could be about Joe, because as I said in the beginning there is kinda a romance in this. However, at this point (I think after the met gala when they were first introduced) they weren’t so close that it would appear like she left him. Well oc she kinda decided against him as she left with the Getaway Car (haha). Still, it could be interpreted as „Taylor left without seizing her chance of getting to know Joe better even though she clearly fell for his gorgeousness and when she thought about connecting him later she was uncertain if he would be still interested“.

However I think that the following explanation fit better to the context of the „leaving the industry“move. Maybe you isn’t a particular person, but something more general. The fans. The public interest. She left and now she’s pulling up with new music, or at least thinks about doing so, but is insecure whether she should go through it or it’s in vain cause people would not care.

Considering the next line, both possibilities work out.

She regrets not taking her chance with Joe because she would like- want to be with him very very much, but right now it seems she’ll never get to. That’s why she regrets leaving.

Or obviously she love making music, writing and performing it. Right now half the world seems to hate her or lost interest in her, leading to her loosing probably the opportunity to do what she is passionate about. Also Taylor is to me a person that is quite close to her fans and also as grateful to have them as we are to have her.

Pulled the car off the road to the lookout

Here we go, another car. Or (haha) it’s actually the same. She pulled the getaway car off the road. And then opened the door and left itttt. (You now that story)

In my imagination she drove on a big highway and pulled off to the side, like as in an emergency. Sounds to me like it was a yk last minute kinda action. If she had stayed a sec longer something really bad would have happened.

TW: mention suicide !!! If you might feel triggered by mentioning such, scrip the following paragraph.

The road she was on was leading to a lookout. In this context it’s definitely a bad place, as it’s a place, her fear lead to. If she had stayed any longer on the road something really bad could have happened. Happened at the lookout. A lookout is usually a rather high position. I think since at least Miss Americana it’s pretty well known that Taylor had major mental health issues. And well. During the whole shitstorm she was probably at one of her lowest points regarding that. So she almost followed her fear literally down the lookout, implying she might have had suicidal thoughts.

And maybe I don’t quite know what to say

But I’m here in your doorway

The words maybe I don’t quite know what to say express a state of huge uncertainty. Taylor is a writer. She is a genius with words. And she is speechless. She is at her lowest, insecure.

Also this could be a thought she might have had about the whole going back to make music thing I mentioned. Because. She is in the doorway. Entering. She is coming back into the music scene, unsure if what she is saying is the right thing, maybe also unsure if people will like what she is saying with her songs, that the new stuff she’s doing might not be as good as what she’s done before. But she is saying.

Hey,

I just wanted you to now

That this is me trying

She came back regardless. Regardless what happened. And she it admits that she was or maybe still is partly at a bad place (mentally), but now she is standing up and trying again. She is no longer breaking down from what people are telling her, she is just doing her thing and giving a sh*t about what they’re telling her. She’s accepting it. (Or should I say. Tolerating it? I‘M SORRY I HAD TO!)

They took the crown, but it’s alright

Call it what you want I’m doing better. Your shitty opinions fade to nothing because I have fit lover b*tch. At least I did one thing right.

They told me all my cages were mental

Again I think there are two ways to look at this lines:

The first one is rather positive, which I personally prefer the other one, I’m gonna talk about after this one. Nevertheless I wanted to mention it. Again it could be referring to her feelings towards Joe. He told her that her cages, maybe her worries, which were restraining her from doing what she loves, doing music, or from making a move towards him, we’re only mental. He showed her that she was only imagining them and there was nothing to worry about. That’s why she got wasted with him ( because they were regularly meeting up in the bar and also

I‘m spilling wine in the bath tub

You kiss my face and we’re both drunk

In my eyes it’s rather unlikely, that she meant it this way because it just does not fit the rather depressed vibe of the song and also it contraries the like all my potential.

TW: Alcohol abuse Please skip the following paragraph if mention of those might trigger you

In fact I think my second version is more likely. But it’s also more negative. In this case They is again no specific person, more like the society or the internet. They told Taylor that her cages, her sorrows were mental. This statement showed that Taylor is not taken seriously, that she’s belittled. Her sickness, is showed aside instead of getting her professional help. So. In her place, her only escape is getting wasted. At this point please have a look at this beautiful line. Wasted like in getting reaaaally drunk and wasted like thrown away.

The mention of her wasted potential makes me think about the cages she mentions again. Because when her potential is wasted it sounds to me like if she would habe been supported properly, she could have been so much more.

Also I’d like to make a small sidenote here, because it’s radiating burntout gifted kid energy again.

Because as such some might develop certain fears, e.g. being scared af of failing, or becoming extremely ambitious and very unsatisfied even with only small mistakes. Others might think of as stupid or unnecessary, because the perfect kid will get the good grades in the end anyways. But from experience I can tell you that such words can hurt. Like a lot. And being in such a bad mental place can trigger a spiral of thoughts that pulls you down, until you stay there. With that your potential of being good for real is wasted.

*Coughs*

Whatever. Back to business.

And my words shoot to kill when I’m mad

I have a lot of regret’s about that.

Her words/her songs can cause a lot of harm, like literally destroy the publics picture of a person (YES I‘M LOOKING AT YOU SIR JUST GIVE HER THE GODDAMN SCARF OR I‘LL CANCEL YOUR MOVIES), but actually that is not her intention. She is admitting that she can cause pain to someone the same way it was done to her previously and that she does not want that power, but she can’t help it.

I’ve been the archer, I’ve been the pray

I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere

Fell behind my classmates, and ended up here

Again, big chunky sad school kid vibes.

She has an outstanding abilities that makes her stand out from the average, but in the end it twisted and make her fall even deeper. Also I made this beautiful drawing:

She was ahead of the curve, but when she feel down, the curve became a literal sphere. The traffic thing about it is, that she wasn’t even on the level of the „average people“ but behind, as you can see in my vivid painting. She ended up at the end of the spectrum, the edge, the place of the outsiders. And she can’t find a way to join again because the curve, now circle is like- keeping her out?

That’s must be who Taylor felt like when she fell from her very popular high after the whole drama went down.

Pouring out my heart to a stranger

Here, I’m actually a bit uncertain who she is addressing with stranger.

I don’t think it’s Joe because she wouldn’t see him as a stranger, because yk :

Have I known you for 20 seconds or 20 years?

And neither I can imagine she’s speaking about her audience, because as I mentioned she as such a close relationship with us, the fans don’t seem to be unknown to her. But could be.

Another though I had was her label. It does not fit into the whole Rep context, because she left after the album came out, but it kinda could be. She was close to her label and as she writes like 99% of the time from her own experience, she poured her heart out to them.

I gave it my all, he gave me nothing at all.

So she left and then poured her heart out to someone new, the new label. Could be kinda but idk? Thoughts one this line?

TW:past abuse of alcohol please skip the following paragraph if you might feel triggered by the mentioned

But I didn’t pour the whisky

As I already said she seemed to have used it as a escape in the past and now it’s going upward and it’s hard, but she’s healing.

At least I’m trying

She repeats the message of the chorus, but by adding the at least it sounds a lot more desperate? It also sounds like that. (Fr it kills me to hear that line)

It also kinda sounds like a bit like an accusation, like she’s saying: Well I’m at least trying. You do literally nothing.

Again it could refer to the whole

This is why we can’t have nice things

situation. She is offering her friendship she is at least trying to be nice, but people do not bother to make this effort.

And it’s hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound

Well two parties I spontaneously come up with:

The VMAs in 2009, obviously the whole interruption (I refuse to say the name of that man ew). And fr Taylor must have been very shocked and hurt by what have happened. I mean she was literally still half a girl and she was winning a flicking big award. That should have been like- her evening, but I bet that ruined it for her. She was supposed to celebrate, but she felt hurt and oc it’s hard to play happy in such a position.

The Met Gala 2016, was at May the second, while a *cough* famous song dropped already in February. So again she was supposed to have fun at the event, but it was ruined for her.

It’s hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you

Adding to my Met Gala point. She met Joe and wanted to be with him instantly, but she did not get to. Kinda get Cruel Summer vibes here.

You’re a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town

In this case I think she is definitely addressing Joe with the you, because she just mentioned him in the previous line.

Also a film reel,Joe is an actor

A flashback, so she is reminded of him. A flashback on a film reel. Again I’m not sure if I get this right (sowy) so I’m just gonna spill my thoughts.

She speaks about a camera reel, so maybe undeveloped pictures. They are undeveloped, because their romance is not in the final stadium yet.

She means a literal film reel. It’s flashing back, perhaps because it’s broken and now only playing this one scene, before jumping back and starting over. She might be implying all she can think about is that one memory( their meeting?)

Additionally, there is only one screen in her town. Maybe the one screen in her head, always playing the same movie over and over again.

It could also tell us, that she is currently in a small town, because there is only one screen, so nothing big like NY or London with MANY, big screens. So this adds to the whole „being withdrawn after the storm“ picture.

The End

As I already said in the beginning, I think major parts of this song are about the Rep era. Still, this only my opinion on it, everybody hears something different in it and this isn’t an official interpretation either. Taylor could intend the song to be something utterly different than what I’m thinking. It could totally be made up and not about a personal experience. Taylor can write from a persons perspective, no doubt.

I would love to her your take on it?

#spotify #swifties #taylor swift #red taylor’s version #1989 taylor's version #swift #swifttok #lyricism #this is me trying #music #lyrical analysis

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speechlessxx · 4 years

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invisible string (Steve Rogers x Reader)

Summary: there was always been a single thread of gold tying you to Steve Rogers.

This was also a request from an anon! But I planned to write an imagine ever since folklore came out haha...

Based on Taylor Swift - invisible string (highly recommend you to listen bc this is my favorite song off of folklore!)

Warnings: a lot of Taylor Swift references, language!, wordy (oops)

Word Count: ~3k

Love was quite a challenge – a never-ending struggle. You found it was more rejection than acceptance – more heartbreak and angst than romance and fluff. The romantic comedies you loved gave you so much hope and high expectations, leading you to believe you’d meet the love of your life whilst reading in the park or at an art museum where you’d be admiring paintings while he admired you.

It was all wrong.

Love wasn’t straight and narrow – black and white or even red. It was complex – full of twists and turns. You didn’t know this, but you were meant to get tangled up in the strings of love… Instead, you sought to straighten it out – to unravel the ball of yarn that love felt like.

You never stopped believing in true love despite the heartaches and the horrible men you’ve encountered. You often joked that you met the wrong ones at – what felt like – the right times.

But that’s the wondrous thing about timing – about fate, even…

Because the right one was always there … you weren’t ready for him just yet.

New to the city, your friends often set you up on numerous blind dates. They were their boyfriends’ friends, or coworkers, or their own friends. Most of the time, you had nothing in common with these men, but they’d tell you, “you gotta kiss a couple frogs to find your prince.” When you’d bring up your fantasizes of finding true love yourself, they’d snark and tell you, “true love’s a thing of the past.” You didn’t like to believe that, but maybe they were right…

Perhaps with the modern age of dating – Tinder and online sugar daddies and what not – that was true. Many blind dates ended with a confession – that they just wanted to hookup. You often found yourself a victim of mind games – pathetically drinking alone in the late nights wondering if he’d call (and when he did, it was always at his convenience and would chastise you if you weren’t available or in the mood).

However, one man seemingly put all your past relationships to shame. He was everything you ever wanted – tall, dark, handsome. Although it wasn’t a criterion for you, he had a great job and a promising career – one he was immensely proud of and often boasted about. That was one con about James – that and the aloofness, narcissism, and all too flirty personality though you always found yourself overlooking all of that.

Many of your friends didn’t quite approve. They found him a bit too arrogant and often called him out for taking advantage of your too kind and naïve heart. But you often found yourself brushing them off. You thought that perhaps they didn’t quite approve because they didn’t choose him for you.

Unlike the other men, you met him spontaneously at a Broadway show. You were gifted tickets for your birthday, and he happened to be sitting right next to your seat. He introduced himself to you, giddy with excitement – apparently, this was his favorite show. You thought his shameless excitement for Broadway was endearing and you hit it off instantly. It felt like destiny and months later, you were falling in love with James (ignoring all the red flags).

-=+=-

You smiled as you entered the bar. James, whom – as he says – has exquisite taste, picked out a bar in Brooklyn. It was quite unusual, really. He was an Upper East Side trust fund baby – although he claims that his career is self-made – and wasn’t too fond of the outer boroughs. But you welcomed the change in scenery. You found the five-star restaurants too flashy with food portions that were much too small for the huge price tags.

You quickly found him in the crowded bar and rushed over to give him a hug. He didn’t welcome you with an equally tight embrace. In fact, you didn’t feel his arms go around you at all.

“You okay?” You asked him as you settled into the seat next to him.

“Look, we gotta talk,” his voice was hushed. James scratched his head with his eyes glancing around. He looked tense – uncomfortable. His hands were shoved into his coat’s pockets, clutching onto his wallet as if he were afraid someone would just snatch it from him.

“Okay…” You nodded. You felt your heart begin to race. His tone, his composure – hell, he himself – radiated an all too familiar feeling. You felt the breakup speech coming before he even said the words.

“I think we gotta breakup,” he muttered. He refused to look at you. His eyes staring at your feet. You straightened up in your seat, rolling your shoulders back and picking at your dress’s skirt nervously.

“Is… is there something I did?” You asked, your voice breaking at the end. Although you felt the breakup happening, it still caught you off guard. Three months into dating, you were already falling so hard for him. Everything felt perfect up until now.

“No,” James shook his head. His eyes finally met yours, but it was your turn to look away. “I just think we’re not meant for each other.”

“Okay,” you nodded. A tear rolled down your cheek, but you quickly wiped it away with the back of your hand.

“Yeah… Um… I gotta go – “

“Is there someone else?” You don’t know why you asked. You weren’t sure if you even wanted the answer. James coughed, awkwardly. You caught him nod in the corner of your eye. You exhaled a shaky breath before feeling your heart harden. “Fine. Have a good life.” He said your name and leaned over to hug you, but you shrugged him off. “Go fuck, yourself,” you spat. The words surprised you. You were never so vulgar, but you had enough.

Without another word, James retreated from the bar – disappearing out the door and out of your life. As soon as the door shut, the dam broke, and quickly came the tears.

Unbeknownst to you, there was an especially trained ear listening in to the short yet very heartbreaking conversation. Steve wasn’t much of an eavesdropping, but he couldn’t help if his enhanced hearing – thanks to the serum – picked up on distress. And you were chock full of it.

Steve stared on as you tried to compose yourself to no avail. You were shaking with anger, with sorrow, with heartbreak. His own heart broke for you.

What an asshole, Steve thought to himself.

Steve noticed James the moment the rich prick walked into the bar. He hated how the man snapped his fingers at the waitress and the bartender and how he talked down to those who were just doing their job. He remembered the man get on the phone, talking to – what sounded like – a woman, telling her that he was “handling it”. Steve didn’t need to have Bruce’s intelligence to know that James was a two-timing pig and he thought about the poor woman whom he was “handling”.

Then, you walked into the bar. A teal colored sundress. The color bringing him back to simpler times when he was sixteen and Bucky had hooked him up with a job at a yogurt place. He noticed how you gleamed in the dark room. He thought you were like daylight and cursed James even more – he didn’t deserve his own personal sun.

“Hey,” Steve called to the waitress. The young woman smiled at him, recognizing him as the regular who drank so much yet never stumbled out drunk. “Do me a favor and get that young lady a glass of your finest. On me.” He pointed over to you – the pretty girl in the teal sundress with tears rolling down her cheeks.

The waitress nodded. “Anything in particular you want me to tell her?”

Steve shook his head. “Just tell her that a man like that asshole ain’t worth her time nor her tears.”

“Gotcha,” the waitress winked before walking off.

Steve, knowing how a simple glass of alcohol can make or break a young woman’s evening, stayed to ensure that the drink was brought to you safely. His eyes were trained on the glass – from the moment the drink was poured up until the moment it was brought over to you.

“I … I didn’t order this,” you told the waitress.

“Yeah,” she smiled and nodded over to Steve though you didn’t follow her eyes, “that man did. Told me to tell you that that asshole you were with ain’t worth your time nor your tears and I agree.”

You gave her a little chuckle and a gracious nod as she walked away. You turned your head, craning over the many patrons of the bar to catch a glimpse of the man… but all you got was the back of his head as he walked out of the bar.

Tall. Blonde. Broad.

Those were the only thing you knew about this mystery man.

-=+=-

Months after James and several failed attempts to rebound, you decided to give up on your quest for love. Opting to love yourself, instead. Your friends supported the notion.

“I’m tired of trying to find love. Let love find me,” you rose a glass up on the night before your trip and your friends cheered in support.

The trip was two weeks well spent. A reprieve from the suffocating city of millions. Your friends found your sudden glowing, tanned skin, and bright smile suspicious. Chalking this “glow up” to you finding a new man and didn’t quite believe when you attributed it to self-love rather than romantic love.

But nevertheless, they were simply excited to have you back in the city. They wanted to celebrate your return – and you knew the perfect bar to do so.

“You’re staring,” Sam muttered over to Steve as Steve tore his eyes away from the familiar woman.

“’m not,” Steve chuckled. “You gonna ice that eye?” He pointed over to the dark bruise beneath Sam’s right eye. The pair had just returned from a successful mission and Sam, who clearly took a couple hits, wanted to go out and be “normal” – Steve knew the perfect place.

The waitress laughed as she brought over a Ziplock bag filled with ice wrapped with a paper towel. “Thought he might need this.” She joked. Sam thanked her as he took the bag and pressed it onto his eye. “Your girl’s here,” she teased Steve.

“Not my girl,” Steve laughed, glancing over his shoulder at you again.

She hummed teasingly. “Heard she just came back from a trip.”

“Wait, what do you mean his girl?” Sam asked.

The waitress shrugged. “She was here a few months ago and got broken up with. Stevie boy, here, bought her a drink but left right after. She came back a lot, saying she’d always see her asshole ex in the city and how he’d never come to Brooklyn, so she kinda made this place her safe place.” She laughed. “Funny thing is… She comes, Stevie’s not here. Stevie comes, she’s gone.”

“And tonight, they’re both here? Hm…” Sam narrowed his good eye at Steve. “I think that’s fate, pal.” Steve shook his head. “Oh, c’mon… I’ll even introduce ya.”

“Sam. No.”

The man caught your eye – not because he was handsome (you didn’t even see his face) but because the back of his head was just familiar. It looked similar to the mystery man that bought you a drink all those months ago. Tall. Blonde. Broad. You couldn’t help but stare.

“Why are you staring at that guy’s head?” One of your friends nudged you, shaking you from your thoughts. “You know him?”

“Uh… No.” You shook your head, laughing a little. “He just looks familiar, ‘s all.”

“Okay…” She nodded before taking a swig of her drink. “I think you should go talk to him.”

You scoffed. “Why?”

“Because he seems to have your attention.” She giggled.

“Right…” you laughed, awkwardly. “Well… I’m hitting the ladies.”

You got up from your seat. As you were making your way across the bar, your phone began to buzz. Thinking it was strange, considering everyone you spoke to daily was in that bar, you pulled your phone out to investigate. You rolled your eyes when you saw James’s name on the caller ID. You scoffed and sent him straight to voicemail.

Distracted with your phone, you didn’t notice the wall of a man pushing himself out of his seat to stand. You ran straight into him, dropping your phone in the process.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Steve apologized.

“It’s my fault, really,” you laughed. You awkwardly combed through your hair with your fingers when you noticed it was the man you were staring at earlier.

“I doubt it. I’m pretty clumsy sometimes,” he chuckled. (Sam scoffed… like you’re not Captain America throwing that shield around with expert precision? Right…)

“You’d be surprised at my skill. If there’s an Olympics for clumsiness, I’d be the Michael Phelps.” You joked. You pushed down your shyness and offered him your hand, introducing yourself to the incredibly handsome man (thank you slight buzz).

Steve couldn’t find his words, suddenly becoming shy. It felt as if he were a skinny, stupid, sixteen-year-old again. “uh…”

“Steve Rogers.” The man Steve was sitting next to cut in. You frowned curiously at him seeing as he was holding a makeshift icepack to his face. “His name’s Steve Rogers.”

“Wait… like…” You found the name familiar as if you read it in a textbook or a museum. “Like Captain America?” You brought your voice down low, not wanting to draw attention to the man.

He smiled bashfully as he shook your hand. “Yeah…”

“It’s nice to meet you.” You smiled. You weren’t sure if you were supposed to salute, but your slowly sobering mind decided against it.

Just as he expected… to be smiled at by you was like being graced by daylight.

“You mean finally,” the waitress, the one who seemed to always work whenever you were there, butt in. “He’s the man who bought you the drink, by the way.” She told you just before walking off with a tray of drinks.

“Oh… that was you?”

Steve’s ears heated up and he felt himself flush, looking away. “Yeah… I just thought it might cheer you up a little… that guy was an ass.”

“Agreed.” You chuckled. “Thank you, Steve… and it’s nice to finally meet you, I guess.”

“Right back at you.” He nodded. He watched you turn and retreat to your table with your friends. He tried not to listen in on your conversation, distracting himself with Sam as your friends buzzed in excitement, badgering you with questions.

“Hey…” the waitress said, bending down and grabbing a phone off the hardwood floor. “You drop this, Stevie?” Steve checked his pockets and sure enough, his phone was there. “Sammy?” Sam did the same and shook his head. The waitress cocked her head to the side as she pressed the power button. The phone lit up and a mischievous smirk formed on her face as she turned the screen to show a photo of you and your friends. “I wonder who this belongs to?”

“Should probably give it back to her,” Steve suggested.

“Yeah, you should.” Sam encouraged, bumping Steve’s shoulder with his. “While you’re at it, get her number, you idiot! Girl was giving you ‘em eyes.”

“What eyes?” Steve frowned, obviously confused. Sam groaned, snatching the phone, and thrusting it into Steve’s hands.

“Go!” He said, pushing Steve away in your direction.

“Oh, my god, dreamy man is coming over!” Your friends muttered in excitement as you heard the faint footsteps near.

You heard Steve say your name and you turned around with a smile. “Hello again, Steve.”

“Hi…” he scratched his head awkwardly. “You lose your phone?”

“Oh shit…” you muttered, suddenly noticing your empty pockets. “Thank you so much!” You said as he handed it to you.

“Yeah, it’s no problem.” Steve nodded before turning.

“Wait!” You called out. He stopped and turned to give you another shy smile. “How about I buy you a drink as a thank you?” He didn’t have the heart to tell you that alcohol had no affect on him, but he also didn’t like the idea of a lady spending her own money on him.

“No, it’s alright.” Steve shook his head. “Mom raised me to never let a woman spend money on me.”

You laughed. “No, please… call it a payback.”

“I don’t know …” He chuckled. He saw how your smile faltered, just a bit. You took his reluctance as rejection and he noticed you slowly retreat into yourself. “Not that I’m not interested in you,” he cringed at his words. “That sounds horrible, but umm… How about I buy you a drink, instead? Helps with my moral code.” He cringed at his joke. “Is it too forward if I say I just wanna get to know you?”

“Not at all.” You shook your head; your smile returning.

“You look like Captain America,” your friend, boldly stated.

Steve nodded. “I get that a lot.” He glanced over to you and winked.

“We’ll leave you guys to it, then…” One of your other friends coughed. “Let’s go, girls?” She made a telephone gesture with her hands and mouthed the words call me before pulling your friends away, leaving you and Steve alone.

Leaving you to entangle yourself in the invisible string that tied you and Steve Rogers together.

#steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #chris evans x reader #chris evans imagine #chris evans #captain america #captain america x reader #captain america imagine #mcu imagine #marvel imagine

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olivinesea · 3 years

Text

In the Golden Dark, pt. 4

pt 1, pt 2, pt 3

a/n: Everyone better have their toothbrush ready bc this is about to rot your teeth right out your head. This concludes my brief flirtation with happiness, I hope it’s everything you wanted. Back to regular programming after this. ~2.4k

Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. - Sarah Williams

Dysania, Hotch thought to himself, dysania is what Spencer said it’s called. Before he’d started spending so much time talking with Spencer he’d never known there were official terms for so many of the things he took for granted, things he thought were just a part of life. This one for example, “dysania”: the state of finding it difficult to get out of bed in the morning. Surely everyone found this hard to do he had countered. Not really, I guess, Spencer had shrugged. Not everyone. They had both grown quiet, considering the spaces between the words, the information unintentionally shared. These types of moments happened often and Hotch wasn’t all too sure how he felt about them. It was uncomfortable to share about himself, but it seemed to happen so easily with Spencer. Like some piece of him was reaching out, pushing past his normal guard to grasp at the other man, to try to pull him close with details he’d never intended to share with anyone.

Spencer responded kindly, often matching with his own stories, his own fears. It felt so natural, the exchange of ideas and the flow back and forth between mind and heart. Spencer, who so often found it tricky to connect the cues some people were born understanding, had no trouble understanding Aaron’s small hesitations, his silences following the realization that he’d just said something out loud that would normally remain internal. Spencer was guarded too, in different ways and for different reasons, but the walls were there nevertheless. He’d had trouble all his life understanding what people expected from him so he’d learned to minimize, to live inside his own head. He’d grown in his time at the BAU, found friendship and family where he hadn’t realized he was lacking. But there were always some things he held back.

People loved to be dazzled by his intellect, by the way he could remember the most inconsequential detail in a text or connect an obscure reference to its source. He didn’t mind, he enjoyed that part of himself as well. But sometimes it felt hollow, just a party trick he was brought out to perform and then put away until wanted again. The other things, the personal things, he had never learned how to share those and had always figured no one was that interested anyway. Somewhere along the way it became a compulsion to hide certain details, convinced that if everyone knew they would reject him. His mother and her illness, his own doubts about his stability, his need for help at times; he pulled those secrets in close, wrapping his fingers around them and squeezing until they stopped squirming so much. It wasn’t until he listened to Aaron haltingly give context to an offhanded comment that he dared to pull out some of his own worries. So they clumsily exchanged confidences, slowly building a new structure with each brick they pulled out of their walls.

Knowing the term didn’t help with the issue though. Didn’t change the fact that without the pressing responsibility of a weekday, where people expected him to be certain places at certain times, Hotch was finding himself unable to get out of bed. He stared at the clock, narrowing his eyes, disbelieving what the numbers were telling him. How could it be that someone who slept so little could spend so much time laying down?

He rolled away from the cursed illumination and glared at the wall instead. He could see Rossi’s confrontation played out on the blank white surface. As if he had been outside his own body, he watched his reactions, studying the degree of sincerity. Was he really making logical decisions or was he only wishful? He needed to talk to Spencer, needed to come up with a plan before this got out on its own. He had considered that option too—not doing anything and letting everyone else deal with their own feelings. He was tempted but he knew in the long run that would not work out well. He was still the leader of his team, despite whatever feelings he was finding himself caught up in. If he acted soon, he could still control this.

His thoughts returned to scolding him about how he should get up, take care of some errands he had been putting off. At least do some laundry after being gone all week. He closed his eyes imagining the laundry, the clean warm fabric pressed against his face. One of the few reliable pleasures in life. He rolled onto his back and stretched his long limbs away from himself. He could do that at least.

There was a brief moment of anxiety as he willed his muscles to contract, to pull him upright, unsure if they would cooperate this time. Thankfully they did and he shuffled around the room, collecting errant socks and emptying his go-bag that he had left on a chair the night before. He had managed to get the laundry started and was fumbling with the coffee maker when he heard a knock at his door. He spilled the grounds as his head snapped up to glare at the sound. He swore and did his best to sweep what he could salvage into the filter, placing it correctly and flipping the switch before going to investigate the intrusion.

He found Spencer standing outside his door looking a little guilty. They eyed each other, Hotch in sweats and t-shirt, hair standing up at odd angles, Spencer dressed for a day out in cool late winter sun, his favorite purple scarf wrapped around his neck for luck. Spencer’s eyes darted around the room behind Hotch. It was dark, the only light coming in from one small window. The rest of the curtains were drawn and he hadn’t bothered to turn on any lights, not needing them to take care of basic tasks.

“Sorry, I tried to call,” Spencer wrung his hands as he made an effort to stop staring at the gloom in front of him.

Hotch thought about his phone, how he had purposely turned it off, something he rarely did. He had been so tired last night, he’d needed to ensure a few hours without someone requiring his attention. He’d felt a thrill of rebellion as he’d tossed it aside but he must be really out of it to not have checked it yet today. After a moment of awkwardness while they both contemplated how they ended up here, Hotch invited Spencer in for coffee.

“It should be ready in minute,” he said while waving him inside.

Spencer walked toward the kitchen where he remained standing, hesitant. There had been a wild impulse that drove him here, even when Hotch didn’t answer his phone. He’d been repeating conversations with himself, things he needed to say, imagining all the different responses he might get. His mind had been so full of these scenarios as he made his way from his apartment, but now that he was here he wondered if maybe this hadn’t been better left alone. Who was he to demand things?

“You can put your stuff down,” Aaron said with a slight smile.

“What?” He looked at his bag that he was clutching tightly, his knuckles turning white. Thoughts unmistakable as they ran across his face, he glanced around, trying to decide where to put it. Trying to get his bearings in this unfamiliar environment.

“Here,” Aaron held out his hand, offering to to take it. Spencer shrugged it off and handed it over to Aaron who set it on the dining table. Meanwhile Spencer sat on the edge of one of the bar stools and unwound his scarf, hands too nervous to stay still, and set it on the stool next to him. Aaron returned to the kitchen and pulled out a pair of mugs. He didn’t bother to ask how Spencer liked his coffee, everyone already knew that deviancy. Instead he just handed him the box of sugar, a spoon and a full mug. Spencer kicked his heels against the rungs of the stool.

“Thanks,” he said, smiling into the warm curls of steam. Hotch hummed, leaning back against the counter, his own mug wrapped tightly in his fingers. He was awake but he wasn’t fully registering what was happening. He hoped the coffee would alleviate that feeling.

“Sorry to just show up, I was going for a walk and…” Spencer trailed off, hearing the excuse he had prepared out loud, he found it sounded false. He rubbed his thumb against the warm mug. He inhaled deeply, then said, “I wanted to see you.”

He looked up to check Aaron’s reaction. Frustratingly he didn’t appear to react at all, looking back steadily, absorbing the information. Then he nodded, as if he was answering a question, maybe a response to something in his own mind.

“It’s ok, I wanted to see you as well. We need to talk.”

Spencer’s eyes went wide at that but Aaron waved his hand and tried not to laugh outright at the horrified expression. “It’s nothing bad, I promise.”

Spencer relaxed a little, enough to sip his coffee again. Hotch could tell he wasn’t completely convinced. He rubbed his head, worsening the disarray there and sighed. He needed to level the playing field somehow. Spencer made a risky move coming here unannounced. The power imbalance of the situation, already uneven for so many other reasons, was not going to help them get through this conversation. They needed neutral ground, somewhere they were both comfortable, or at least distracted enough, to talk about their feelings without becoming so anxious they never really said anything.

“Let me take a shower and then we can get out of here.”

“Oh, ok, we don’t have to, I just…”

“Spencer, I’m sure you didn’t want to spend the day in my apartment,” he said firmly. He let his eyes scan around the room, seeing it from another’s perspective. It was barely lived in; even when he was physically present he wasn’t living there. There were no personal touches, no paint on the wall, no photos. It was only the shell of a home. He had done all his living in the home he’d shared with Haley and Jack. There had been no reason to try to build any of that again on his own. “We could go to the Science Museum?”

“Oh, I love that place,” Spencer sounded both excited and relieved.

Hotch gulped the rest of his coffee, ignoring the burn on the roof of his mouth. “Give me fifteen minutes.”

Spencer stayed put for several minutes after he left the room. Frozen in his seat, afraid to touch anything else, certain someone as deliberate as Aaron would notice anything out of place. But he had been welcomed in, a voice in his mind argued. It was the same voice that had pushed him along all the way to this point. The same voice that insisted what was happening was real and wasn’t going to let him worry it away.

He forced himself to stand up, carrying his coffee cup through the room, drawn like a magnet to the bookshelves. It was a little dark but up close he could read the titles. They had talked about books plenty during their late night conversations, he knew Aaron was a big reader. But there was something different about seeing the tangible evidence of that, the wrinkled bindings, the books stacked horizontally where he had run out of space on the shelf so he’d had to fit them where he could. There was an organization to the shelves, though it wasn’t immediately apparent. Perhaps the only thing in the apartment that felt alive, it was obvious that someone was regularly pulling books off and replacing others. He ran his index finger along the spine of one, thinking about the discussion they'd had about it. He was about to pull it off the shelf when there was a voice just behind him.

“Find anything good?”

He twitched, pulling his hand back, thankful that he’d finished his coffee so the movement didn’t cause any spills. He turned to look at Aaron, dressed casually in jeans and a sweater, hair still a little damp. They smiled at each other.

“Do you want any more? I probably have some to-go cups.”

Spencer shook his head and passed the empty mug to Hotch’s outstretched hand.

“Ok, I’ll be ready in a minute.”

He left to take the mug to the kitchen and grab his keys. Spencer’s scarf was still on the stool so he grabbed it and headed to the front door. There Spencer was standing holding his bag, not looking quite as nervous as before.

“You forgot this.” Without warning, he stepped in close to loop it carefully behind Spencer’s neck. He could feel Spencer staring at him but he avoided his gaze, operating on instinct. He didn’t let go of the tail ends of the scarf, playing with the fringe between his fingers. Neither man moved, their bodies dangerously close. He risked a look into Spencer’s face and found him watching intently. Aaron started to inhale, to say something to break the tension, when Spencer leaned forward and pressed his mouth against his lips. It was surprisingly soft, traces of mint and coffee mingling pleasantly. Aaron couldn’t help the smile that pulled at the corners of his mouth.

Spencer rocked back, looking for approval in the other man’s face, tentative but also absolutely certain that he’d done the right thing. He barely had a second to confirm the happiness on Aaron’s face before he was pulled forward by the ends of his scarf, this time to be met with a deeper kiss. A kiss that left no room for questions about where they stood. Spencer wrapped his arms around the other man’s neck, breaking away from the kiss and burying his face in the hollow of his shoulder. He felt overwhelmed as his blood pulsed loudly through his veins. Eyes closed tightly against the warm skin, he did his best just to breathe.

Aaron rubbed his back lightly, understanding, waiting for Spencer’s senses to calm. After a minute, Spencer pulled away a little, just enough to see Aaron’s face. A large hand cupped his face, thumb running softly along the cheekbone. He closed his eyes, focusing everything on that touch. He’d thought about this moment a lot, anticipating the multitude of different outcomes. Now that it was real he needed to remember every detail exactly as it was. He covered Aaron’s hand with his own, looking into his dark eyes again.

“Let’s go.”

#criminal minds #Aaron Hotch Hotchner #spencer reid #hotchreid #fluff #so goddamn sweet it kills me

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red-becca · 3 years

Text

The Streamer And The Model

I republished this with my laptop bc why not? Make it look better. Also, just realized I don't really have anything about Red on here that screams "model" other than it being mentioned. So, yeah. Gonna be writing a sequel of sorts or just another oneshot basically that is connected to this one. Hope you guys can wait for it.

---

"Mmm... Okay then." Kevin hummed as he sets up his face cam for his stream for today. "You guys can see me good, right? I see the comments and all the other stuff you guys say, by the way. About how I need to show my face more and well... Here I am. I still struggle with setting it up on this new program you guys suggested me, so yeah... I set it up earlier than when I'm scheduled to start streaming for it to show up properly." He clears his throat as he looks through the chat. "Anyway, I was gonna say we'll have a good ol' fashion QnA while waiting but you guys are just immediately bombarding me with questions..."

The male snickered as he rubbed his painted nails, shaking his head. "Yes, this is live and unedited. I am wearing black nail polish on my nails. I feel like it should no longer be a shock for people to see guys with nail polish but I get it. I don't seem like the type to do it, right?" He chuckled as he takes off his headphones and showing off the piercing in his right ear. "To shock you guys even more, I got myself a piercing too..."

"My girlfriend basically convinced me to do it, so we match kind of. But you know, I actually quite like how it looks on me. And she even did my nails just for fun and I think she did a great job." He said without even thinking, too focused on admiring his nails. Then his eyes widened as he realized what he had done, gulping as he saw the endless spam he was getting in chat. "Fuck, Red warned me that this would be your reaction once you found out..."

He let out nervous laughter and pushes his index fingers together. "Hehe, yeah... There is no way I am gonna be able to edit out what I said earlier. You guys heard me loud and clear there." Kevin let out some more laughter before taking in a deep breath. "So, I guess, I can't hide it anymore. Yes, I do have a girlfriend. We've dating for... like a really long time now, actually. I never really mention her because... Well, she tells me not to. I've actually been wanting to tell you guys about her for a while now because of how much I just adore her but again, she doesn't want me to tell you about her. Why? I don't really remember exactly but it's something like her not wanting to steal attention from me or something like that..."

Kevin rubbed the back of his neck, reading more of his chat. "You said her name was Red... You won't happen to be talking about famous model, Rebecca McArthur, are you?" He gasps in realization. "Hmm, maybe that's what Red means when talking about stealing attention from me..." The male mumbles before clearing his throat. "Umm, yes actually. She refers to be called Red more, so please. Call her that. But yes, I am dating a famous model but you know, I knew her and dated her before she became said famous model. So, I see her more than just a famous model. There is more to her than that..." He smiled, blushing softly as he thought of Red.

The smile he had on his face immediately faded when he saw his chat saying that he was lying and that he's only saying he's dating a famous model for clout. "Hey! I know it sounds really unbelievable for someone like me dating someone like Red but you guys don't have to say such mean things like that! I really am dating Red! If you don't want to believe me, go ahead! You'll eat your words once you-" He gets cut off by Red suddenly coming into his office.

"Hey, Kev! Started your stream yet? Me and Bailey made some cupcakes for you to try before it starts! Well, it's mostly me. Bailey just slept next to me." Red laughs, peeking through the door with a tray in her hands. "And don't worry about this tasting bad! I followed the recipe you put down to a T! And it tastes exactly how you would cook it!"

Kevin chuckles as he turns his chair to face her. "Heh, thanks for the snack, Red... And uh, my stream has already started, actually... And funny thing, I... I, uh.. I may or may not have accidentally let it slip that me and you are dating..." He let out nervous laughter and pushed his index fingers like earlier.

"You did what?!" Red freaked, almost dropping her tray but she quickly put it in a dresser next to the door. "Kev, I told you! We can't tell people that we're dating!"

"I know! I know! You told me countless times that you didn't want me to tell my fans about us..." He sighed as he rolled his gaming chair towards her, grabbing a cupcake from the tray and eating it. "But I couldn't keep it in. It just came naturally to me to boast about you, Red... You're an amazing girl, I am lucky to be dating someone like you. Like this cupcake tastes really good! Way better than how make it even!" He chuckles and smiles at her as he takes another bite of his cupcake. "So, yeah... I'm really sorry that I ended up spilling the beans there..."

The redhead ended up smiling at his words, giving him a small kiss on the cheek. "I forgive you, my space captain. I am so lucky to be dating an amazing guy like you, after all. Someone who loves me for more than just my looks..." She giggles as she gets her own cupcake and tastes it for herself. "Mmm, not bad. So, uh... How did your fans react to you dating a "famous super model"?" She jokingly waves her hand at the last part of her sentence, giggling and letting out a snort afterwards.

"Oh, you know... First, shock for me even dating anyone in the first place..." They both snickered after he spoke. "And then you know, disbelief because it is just so unbelievable for anyone who isn't that famous to be dating a famous person..." He rolled his eyes.

"Why am I not surprised?" Red laughs, playfully rolling her eyes as she walked towards Kevin's monitor. "So, what's happening now? Is your stream still on or what? You know me, I may play video games but that doesn't mean I know anything when it comes to working a computer..." She giggles.

Kevin chuckled as he rolled back to his desk, nodding. "Yeah, I understand completely. And yeah, my stream is still on. You see us in the monitor, right?" He gets a nod in response. "That's what my fans are seeing right now..." The male chuckles when the girl let out an amazed gasp, giving a small wave. "I got so distracted by you showing up that I completely forgot that I left my stream on." He chuckles more before flinching when Red suddenly slammed her hand on his desk.

"Hey, you fuckwads! I don't know what you've been telling my boyfriend when it comes to not believing him about dating me! But I'm here to tell you fuckos that it's true! We are dating and I couldn't be more happier dating a guy like him!" She smirked. "Still not believing my own words? Well, how's this for more proof?" The redhead grabs his right hand and shows off the matching promise rings they had. "Boom! Matching promise rings, baby! Custom made to fit the wearer's personality!"

Kevin got flustered at her actions. "Red, I appreciate your enthusiasm and all but this feels like too much for me-" He gasped when Red suddenly kisses him on the cheek.

"Sorry, my space captain. Now that you told people about us, I want them to really know that we're an item." She winks at him, causing him to blush. "Well, anyways... Now that your fans know about us... Mind if I join in with you in a stream?! Please?! I always wanted to join a stream but you know... Keeping our relationship a secret." She giggles, an excited grin on her face.

The male nodded, chuckling. "Go grab your gaming chair from the closet then..." He points to said closet, letting out a small noise of surprise when the girl hugged him really tightly. "Woah! Red..."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! I literally love you so much right now!" Red gives him a lot of kisses all over his face before giddily rushing to grab the gaming chair. "What are we going to be playing, by the way?!" She opens the walk in closet and goes searching for the gaming chair.

"Hmm..." Kevin turns to his monitor. "Well, I was gonna be playing a random one player game but I guess we can play some Mario Party, maybe..."

Red gasped in amazement, peeking her head out . "And then we can play as Daisy and Luigi like we always do! Ah, I love it! I am actually really happy that you revealed our relationship online now!" She giggles more before going back inside the closet.

"Okay, I'll set up the Switch for us to play that and then..." Kevin starts setting up his Switch then he pauses when he reads his chat again. "Oh... Oh, wow... As you had been worried about, all my chat is all talking about is you now."

"Oh, really?" Red pulls out a gaming chair from the closet, rolling the chair towards where Kevin's was and sat down it. "What have they been saying? Also, just where are people chatting? Like where are you looking at to read what they say?" She squints her eyes as she looks around her monitor for his chat

Kevin chuckles, pointing to the second monitor where he had his chat in. "There. You can read what chat has to see on that monitor."

"Oh! And that's why we bought two monitors! It makes more sense now!" Red giggles, looking at the other monitor and immediately getting angry. "Excuse me?! What are some of these bitches saying?! "Shame he isn't available anymore, I would have loved to date a hottie like him"?! "Why is he even dating the model with the dumb anger issues? He should just break up with her and date someone like me instead, I'd treat him right"?!" She crossed her arms and started to angrily grumble. "Well, I got bad news for you, girls! He's mine and mine alone! You can't have him!"

"Red, Red... Calm down... Breathe..." The male massages her shoulder gently. "Look, just ignore messages like that. I already have the perfect girl in front of me..." He makes her look at him by grabbing a hold of her chin. "Plus, the last thing I'll do is replace you with some fan..."

"But I'm one of your fans..." She pouted up at him. "One of your biggest fans even..."

"I know, I know... I mean them silly..." He gestures to the camera. "Anyway, ready to play some Mario Party?" He grabs one of the Joycons.

"Oh, hell yeah I am!" Red's mood immediately changed, grabbing the joycon. "Get ready to eat Daisy's dirt, Luigi!" She picks Daisy in the character selection.

"Oh, you'll be eating those words, Daisy! Trust me, it'll be Luigi who wins! He is a fan favorite, after all." Kevin smirks before they both laughed and started to play a round of Mario Kart for Kevin's stream.

#sp red tucker #red sp #red x kevin #red mcarthur #sp kevin #kevin stoley #kevin x red #sp red #red tucker #south park red #sp revin #revin #south park #south park ships #sp ships #oneshot

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cno-inbminor · 4 years

Text

request: “for akaashi (fluff preferably) based on la la lost you by niki?” for anon

a/n: this ended up being a mix of angst and fluff, mainly bc the song itself is pretty bittersweet. i tried my best, i hope anon still likes this though!

genre: angst, fluff, gn!reader.

warnings: mentions/implications of sex and alcohol

song in reference: la la lost you - niki

Akaashi Keiji was one of the kindest souls to ever grace your life.

You distinctly remember the first night you met him. You and your friends had gone out to a bar in Koreatown on a warm October night. Bokuto, who was dating one of said friends, had invited his own to join. “The more the merrier!” He had howled and you had playfully rolled your eyes at him, but you were curious. On multiple occasions, he had spoken of his best friend and roommate who seemed endlessly busy and “never had time for fun”, and how much he wanted for you all to meet him. This was the one night that he would show, as he had just completed a massive project and felt that he deserved a night out.

Your fingers had been swirling the straw in your rum and coke when Bokuto’s eyes lit up at the person who had walked through the door. “Yo, Akaashi!” He had yelled, waving his arm around so flamboyantly that no one would miss it. And Akaashi Keiji had appeared.

He was ethereal.

LA was a hub for fashion, full of beauties walking down Sunset Boulevard as if it was their own runway. Yet this man before you was dressed in nothing but black, ripped skinny jeans, a black button down over a grey V-neck t-shirt, and you felt that he had stolen the show. His hair had been stylishly disheveled, but even the dim lights of the bar couldn’t hide the color of his eyes. Cobalt blue had stared into your own – you could’ve sworn he was looking right into your soul, but the contact was short-lived as Bokuto stood and pulled him in for a bro hug. The tiny smile on his face had conveyed that he was content in being here, and he left to go get a drink from the bar.

When he returned, the only available seat was across from you. One by one, Bokuto rattled off your names, to which you all had either waved or shook his hand. You settled for the latter with your brightest smile, and when sparks of electricity coursed through your vein at the contact, you did your best to hide its effects on you. Perhaps he had felt the same, but you’ll never know now.

It had been a fun night. Your nerves were getting the best of you, going through your drinks a little faster than usual. On your third glass of rum and coke, Akaashi had taken the liberty of getting a glass of water for you, even ordering a couple of appetizers for the table. “You never buy me food!” Bokuto had cried out while stealing some of the kimchi fries.

“Idiot, who does most of the cooking at home?”

“Okay, maybe, but still! What’s the occasion?”

“I’m expecting a big bonus after this project,” Akaashi had pointed out, though perhaps the tips of his ears were pinked. “Take advantage of my generosity, it doesn’t happen very often.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. You’re always nice, and you know it.”

Akaashi had purposefully placed the basket of onion rings in front of you, gesturing for you to take the first one. The rest of your friends had curiously watched the interaction, their knowing grins widening when Akaashi watched you intently bite into the fried appetizer and smiled when you expressed your approval.

Akaashi had been the one to take care of you that night, though you were adamant in walking around first to sober up. He had no problem driving, only a couple of beers in his system, but you wanted to ensure that it was completely safe for him. At the time, you also just really wanted some pastries from the nearby bakery and Asian bakeries were practically heaven -- nothing could convince you otherwise. With little inhibitions, you had taken the plunge and linked arms with him, practically dragging him in the right direction. You had missed the blush on his cheeks, and to most others, you two looked like any other couple enjoying the night.

He had indulged in your rambling and broken thoughts, carrying on an easy conversation with you. He had even paid for the slice of a chocolate Swiss roll cake you wanted, getting a cappuccino to-go for himself.

“You have to let me pay you back,” you had grumbled in the passenger seat of his car: a dark grey, modest Toyota Corolla that was a few years old, added to the picture you were trying to paint of him. “Even if you’re expecting a bonus, I wanna make it up to you.”

“Take my number then,” he replied without missing a beat, his eyes bored into his phone while typing out your address into the navigation app. “Or Venmo, but I can’t guarantee that I won’t try to return it to you.”

“So I have to make excuses to see you then,” you mumbled under your breath. But Akaashi must have the hearing of a bat, because right after you had said those words, he had chuckled and looked over at you with a twinkle in his eyes.

“You don’t need to.”

And thus began a wonderful three-year relationship.

You honestly wish it had been a more painful break-up. Perhaps it would’ve made you miss him less.

Akaashi had been watching you sleep, your naked body wrapped in his sheets and his finger lightly tracing circles on your arm. The action must have woken you up, your body stirring and eyelids fighting exhaustion. Akaashi’s heart melted at the smile you offered him – as much as you had referred to him as an angel, he felt that nothing was more beautiful than the sight before him shrouded in the rays of the California sun. “Good morning, love,” he cooed.

“G’morning, Keiji,” you mumbled and snuggled into him. His arms wrapped around your waist and he planted a kiss on your nose, causing you to giggle. If he could have you here for eternity, he’d trade over his soul in a heartbeat. “What’s our plan for today?” You sleepily asked.

“I can make some breakfast, if you’d like. Or we can go get some dim sum?” He proposed.

“Hmmm, as good as dim sum sounds, I want to make breakfast for you, y’know. A little thank you for last night.”

“Enjoyed it that much?” He smirked, eyes drinking in the number of love bites he had left on your body.

“Don’t get cocky,” you teased, booping his nose with a finger before you rolled out of bed. Akaashi appreciatively watched the scene before him, especially as you bent over to pick up the button down he wore the night before and discarded on the ground. You rifled through his drawers to grab some clean underwear you purposefully left there, sliding it on before leaving for the kitchen.

About twenty minutes later, Akaashi had wrapped his arms around you from behind, watching you flip pancakes. His chin rested on your shoulder and his lips occasionally left kisses on your neck. The sinking of lead in his heart began to grow heavier, even as you handed him a plate, butter and syrup already put on just the way he liked it. It wasn’t until you were almost done eating when he had broached the topic.

“They’re giving me a promotion.”

You had paused in sipping your coffee. “Keiji, that’s amazing! You’ve been working so hard for this, I’m so proud of you!”

“I know, it’s great to finally be acknowledged. But…they want me to move. To New York City.”

“Oh.”

Akaashi gnawed on his bottom lip in anxiety, watching all the emotions process on your face. He watched you struggle to find the right words, and his heart dropped when you mustered the best supportive smile you could.

“Let’s make the most of the time we have left then.”

In those few months, Akaashi began to understand the different measurements of time. No longer was it measured in just seconds and minutes. Akaashi began to measure it in the number of days he could still hold your hand, the number of times he could pull you in a hug, the moments when you would lean over the back of his chair to observe his work. How many more kisses could he leave on your cheek? How many more smiles would he see in person before they were just in an electronic screen?

In all fairness, the two of you had tried to make it work. But with his promotion, he had been busier than ever, completing projects, building rapport with his new team, getting used to the city. Coupled with your own hectic life, a 3-hour time difference was just enough to drive a nail into the coffin. There was no fighting, no screaming. Just calm acceptance that perhaps, this wasn’t going to work out.

“I’m so sorry,” he had whispered over the phone, nearly on the verge of tears.

“It’s okay,” you had softly replied and Akaashi wanted to explode. To you, there was nothing he could do wrong. Everything was always okay with you when it came to him, and for once, he wanted you to tell him it wasn’t. He didn’t have the gall to voice his frustration – after all, wasn’t it his fault anyways? “Keiji, just…let me know if you ever need anything, okay? I’m here for you.”

“You’re too good to me,” and that was his way of acknowledging you. The phone call ended with gentle goodbyes, yet it took every cell in his body to not fling the phone against his apartment wall.

5 months later, you find yourself driving down Highway 1 on a fall afternoon. Though it’s full of curves and loops, the journey is freeing and calming with the view of the ocean right by you. There is serenity in the waves that crashes against the cliffs, and nothing is more beautiful than a California sunset. Even though the wind often howls over the sea and blows your hair into a disarray, you wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Your hands steer your car into a resting spot and shift the gear into park. The keys leave the ignition and you collapse into the back of your seat, eyes turning to appreciate the view in front of you. Just like the many other days since, your mind drifts to thoughts of Akaashi.

Does he regret breaking it off? Does he miss you as much as you do him? Does he wish that he had fought harder for your relationship?

You almost laugh to yourself – Akaashi had always loved driving to places with you, one hand on your thigh and the other on the steering wheel. The number of times he had taken you to the Malibu beach to watch the sunsets was astronomical in your three years. Yet he had traded it all for the shadowy undergrounds of the New York subways, his car sold to help with moving expenses, and walking through the crowded streets. The closest he would ever get to driving was sitting in taxis, but stuck in traffic with a stranger was, perhaps, less than ideal for him. New York City is charming in its own way, you agree. But LA was different, and LA was where it had all begun for you two.

Akaashi often gets tagged in pictures with other women, their grins wide and skin glinting from the flash of the camera. Whether they’re co-workers or new partners in his life, you can’t help but wish for his happiness. There was little reason to be bitter, to hope that he experiences the pain of missing what he lost. You only wished that New York City had truly welcomed him into its embrace, treating him with the same love you had given. After all, it was very unlikely that he would ever return to the city of angels. Your inner demons would become solely yours to deal with, nothing for him to worry about any longer.

And for the first time in months, you felt at peace. You were ready to take the leap and regain the last piece of closure. Fishing your phone from the cupholder, you felt lucky that you still had a couple of bars of signal – it’s not too late in New York, and Akaashi would most likely still be awake. Your thumb taps and scrolls across your screen until you find his number, hesitating slightly before hitting the call button. Too nervous to hold the phone to your ear, you turn on the speaker and hear the dial tones echo in your car.

There’s a pause, a click, a rustle of papers, then, “—hello?”

A small smile graces your complexion, your eyes catching the view of the sun setting over the horizon of the ocean. The pang in your heart was akin to the feeling of missing a platonic friend rather than an ex-boyfriend. You were healing.

“Hey, Keiji. How are you doing?”

fin

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#hq #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #haikyuu x reader #akaashi x reader #akaashi keiji x reader #akaashi fluff #akaashi angst #akaashi #keiji #akaashi keiji #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #akaashi x you #haikyuu x you

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