#bc i know ive been making a lot of content over the last couple of days

[girlwithfish]

hii hope this isn't weird but i saw all your posts about your partial hospitalization program and i might actually start going to one soon so i wanted to ask what an average day is like and what to expect ! hope your treatment is going well!!

hii! thank u ^-^ i know its scary i was vrery anxious to start but my first 3 days have been going pretty well!! it was overwhelming for me at first esp if ur not used to being in a group setting but the ppl in my group r pretty nice! and i really like most of the therapists on staff, i think this is important bc if u dont like them maybe itd be not as bearable or like a pleasant experience 😭 ofc everything im saying is specific to my program nd stuff so urs could be run different! but my php has around 6-7? ish therapists on staff and a different member leads group sessions thru out the day and they rotate, sometimes 2 therapists at once. and its a diff therapist on the schedule and not rly consistent idk how they determine that lol. but i rly get a lot out of each therapists insights and find the sessions to b pretty helpful. i treat it like school honestly where i try to be very active in listening the whole day and take in what theyre saying and take notes from discussions and anything that resonates with me. they give us a binder bc there r a lot of handouts and also give a journal so i use both a lot and treat it like a class. it can be comforting to be around other people who are in a similar place as u where they also had to go to a 6 hour a day program, makes u feel a little less lonely. my program is very dbt and cbt centered, w an emphasis on skills. we have a different topic each week, like last week was emotions and this week is connection & communication. they break up sessions into an hour each and we have an hour for lunch at 12. since its not a super long term thing, w a lot packed into the short term as they prepare u for IOP (intensive outpatient) its def overwhelming at times cuz ur at therapy for six hours a day for five days a week so im rly trying to try to find relaxation outside of therapy nd ways to unwind. theres around 12ish ppl in my group who ur with every day. everyone ur has a different care plan and schedule, w ppl moving down to IOP and usually at least one new person to a couple new ppl a day since ive been here. so the group ur w does change every day a little just bc everyones on a different track. we're assigned a therapist who u meet with once a week for 50min and also a psychiatrist who u also meet w once a week. therapists will pull u out of session to talk w u or go over safety plan n stuff. every morning they have u fill out a check in sheet with u assessing ur SUD (subjective units of distress) score, if ur having any thoughts of sh suicide or intents. asks u of an achievement ur proud of in the past 24 hrs, any notes for ur therapist, what skills uve used in the past day. we also have music therapist who comes in a couple days a week and yoga once a week. good luck!!! its a lot but uve got this! remember to take time for urself and unwind after therapy. if u have any other questions lmk i hope this helped!! genuinely the ppl on staff here r very nice so it definitely makes this place more pleasant for me and the content is very insightful. i like how things r run here and dont have many complaints. if ur looking into diff programs definitely check the reviews for the place on google or smth bc the place i go to i had a positive outlook toward when i was anticipating starting bc there were a lot of good reviews and ppl talking abt their positive experiences so i felt good abt it! wishing u the best ❤️🎀

[sadisthetic]

jaya string of fate au

ive mentioned string of fate au a few times here. ive finally put it together into a post. okay so the reason why ive taken so long to transfer this is bc ITS FROM JULY OF LAST YEAR. i wasnt sure if i should lightly edit it or rewrite it. because it started out as me complaining about rebooted and then me fucking craving fanfiction and hurt (i do this 24/7) and then it morphed into this au that also doubled as character/relationship analysis and me fixing rebooted with my bare fucking hands in the context of this au

anyways. jaya string of fate au with emphasis on the heartbreak of s3. half of this was written half a year ago. man i was so mad about s3 back then lol

been thinking about s3 again. whats even more frustrating about the bad het drama. is that they didnt even give jay and nya a proper break up. granted their get together wasnt on screen either BUT IF YOURE GONNA OH SO RUDELY TEAR THEM APART LIJE THAT. THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS DO IT WITH MORE FUCKING PURPOSE. THE WRITERS JUST PITCHED A WRENCH INTO THE WORKS AT BULLET SPEED JUST BECAUSE! JUST BECAUSE THEY WANTED DRAMA. BUT FOR WHAT!!!!!!!!! MAKES ME FUCKING MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL IT DID IS DO JAY DIRTY AND NYAS CHARACTER DIRTY

nyas fucking integrity spit on. you didnt have to make her be like that. it just really fucking made her look BAD. god i wont say jay was a perfect boyfriend but he didnt deserve THAT.

anyways. i want a canon compliant jaya breakup fic set in s3 (present jem speaking: I STILL WANT THIS BY THE WAY.) im so certain nobody has written this. i think heartbreak could be a form of whump if you make it hurt enough.

well. technically. it would be more emotional hurt fic rather than whump. but im a guy who has his definitions twisted. this is whump to me. also im a guy who thinks unromantic things as romantic but also loves love thats void of romance above anything else. i can do both. anyways.

i want jay to feel absolutely crushing heartbreak. i want jay to be hurt. i want him to feel it in his chest. unfairness— rending, jealousy— twisting, want— squeezing. all he yearns for is to be with nya. because he loves her. but apparently... nya doesnt feel the same way. and it hurts

i want to consume heartbreak. i think itll be crunchy on the outside but soft and squishy on the inside. absolute chewable pleasure. lightly salty and bittersweet. i also wanna squeeze jays heart like a stress ball and maybe cause arrhythmia. scratch it a little (a lot). jay is my emotional and physical fucking chew toy

and so to make heartbreak a bit more whumpy tho... i thought up of red string of fate au...

in this version of this concept, the red string of fate is something that needs to be tied by the pair together. and the feelings behind it is what gives the string color. but sometimes if a love is fated to be, the red of the string is instantly, intensely vibrant, almost glowing 

but you dont know who your soulmate is until you actually get together and tie the knot. it is not preexisting, the string does not connect people together for them to find each other before they even know the other exists. it only exists when two people make the decision to bind each other to themselves. most people dont find their soulmate but because its so often the case ppl are content with someone who isnt bc you dont need to find love in your soulmate alone, love is abundant in other places. but that isnt to say the red string of fate isnt romanticized in society tho. anyways. nya likes jay and their string is a pleasant warm red thats a little pink. its typical color for those who arent soulmates but its ok

jay is a little smitten in a slightly overbearing way tho. i think they are a couple who are a little bit mismatched in terms of showing affection. and also nya is very independent type so jays chivalrous tendencies grates on her a little but she lets it slide bc to her, jays positives outweigh his negs. hes cute and funny and they both can geek out and bond over tech stuff. thats a part of the fun. 

but then the match maker thing happens and nya doesnt immediately start considering cole as a romantic interest. but she does start... considering things tho. why cole could be her match. and if he really is her soulmate. why isnt jay her perfect match? its less nya becoming interested in someone else and more nya examining herself to think about what she actually wants for herself and what she wants in a person and if jay really isnt the right guy for her in the end. she doesnt know if cole would actually give her what she wants more than jay does. but she does grow more aware of the mismatch between her and jay

but before anything could be done about her doubts and dismiss it all and just carry on with their relationship, jay finds out in the trailer and is devastated. and intensely jealous of cole.. because hes been a bit insecure about his and nyas relationship for a while now also. he jumps the gun too quick before nya could reassure him so then that Fight happens and things get messy and ugly really fast. jay makes himself look really bad in front of nya which unfortunately reinforces her doubts in jay and she thinks. maybe they shouldnt be together after all. 

and so one night nya talks to jay alone. she explains herself. how shes been feeling about them. how she wants to focus on herself. and that hes too much for her and hes stifling her and she thinks it would be better if they cut things off and go back to being friends. and then she cuts the string that binds them together before jay could even object. it stings for nya but for jay it feels like his heart was sliced in two. literally. he feels a sharp pain that makes him clutch his chest. for nya, she had more time to process the severance. because she was sorta falling out of love for a while. her side of the string has become desaturated and dull. which is why she doesnt hurt as much

she doesnt realize how much jay truly loves her and how much it would hurt him when the string was cut. so when jay falls to his knees, tears falling, she just turns and walks away because she thinks its just from the heartbreak. she knew she was breaking jays heart

she doesnt realize how much hes literally hurting, how she left his heart bleeding. she knew but she didnt know. its most painful experience jay has ever felt in his life. a searing ache. theres a sudden painful void instead where there once was nyas love. its loss that was much too abrupt

heartbreak cant kill a person but it can leave them wounded. and with an abrupt disconnection like that, its why jay hung onto those feelings for nya for months after even tho he never acted on them. his half of the string refused to wither away and he didnt want to discard it either. how could he when he still loved nya. but he couldnt do anything about it though. nya made up her mind. and jay knew her well enough that she would probably hate him more if he chased after her. and so... he kept his feelings close to his chest and his sad, loose thread wrapped around his finger tight all the way until skybound...

—

okay. now present day jem speaking. that was the end of original story i had written on twitter... its meant to be a missing scene (inbetween seasons) fic + au. canon compliant except for the fact its set in this au. so skybound more or less carries out the same way. except minor details being changed...

such as nadakhan approaching jay. he tells him he cannot fix or create strings of fate. but he can give him other means of winning nyas heart... 

although this isnt a part of the “fic” i do imagine at the end of their divorce era.... nya who had casted away her old string, remakes her string to tie to the end of jays (and her) old one where she cut in. the thing is making strings of fate is something anyone can do regardless of being fated to be or not. what the string of fate is in this au is more of an oath... an intention to be together to the end of time. the two people are choosing to bind their fate to each other. nya, who had felt stifled in a relationship and decided she didnt need to be in one back all the months ago, realized something in skybound.... the string of fate isnt a contract or a shackle. not like how she thought... its a sentiment of how much you care about somebody to want to be connected forever. till death do us part. and jay very sincerely wanted that. he wanted to be with nya forever. and nya realizes... despite all his flaws, she really cares about him. she does want to be with him forever. she wants to be together with everyone, all her friends, her family forever. i think she doesnt know the nature of her feelings for jay. they are a bit conflicted and shes not sure how to sort out her desires from her feelings. but i think she decides to give jay a second chance of sorts. when they tie the loose ends the color on nyas side is an ambiguous grey barely tinging pink 

she tells jay she doesnt want to just get back together. she wants them to start over. and jay isnt sure what that means. and by the color of the string hes not sure if it means theyre dating again either. its a very ambiguous ground theyre standing on. but... jay takes the fact that nya retied their string to mean something. that nya isnt rejecting him anymore. that she cares. that he means something to her. it gives jay hope. his feelings for her havent changed... but he decides that to just be. and take things slow. hes happy even if hes confused by what nya wants. hes connected to her again.... and that means so much to jay

i think that their relationship from the end of skybound and onward is a bit more slowburn. well its a weird sorta slowburn. because theyre together but not really. its about them figuring their relationship out. and also nya falling back in love for reals. i love navigation of ambiguous relationships. i think for a while for nya the term “girlfriend”/“boyfriend” is more loaded than the term “soulmate”. thats how fucking weird their relationship got. whats not ambiguous is that nya does love him. she wouldnt have retied their string if she didnt. whats ambiguous is the nature of that love.... its not quite platonic but shes hesitant to call it romantic. whatever. they have time to figure it out

okay. that turned out so much more aro than i was intending. but i do like leaving it like that tho. feelings are difficult to navigate arent they sometimes? how they figure it out is up to whoever. love is love. they are more than “just” friends. but romance itself is a difficult and different beast than love. but jay and nya.... they meet halfway somehow. even if it takes a bit of work

ALSO. LOOK AT THIS ART BY DAN @rotten-dan he drew it for me several months ago when i first finished this au’s original thread which ended at the breakup skdjgthulkd. HEARTBREAK!!!!!!!!!!! YEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you again dan for drawing this for me 

—

also. heres some bonus supplemental worldbuilding that doesnt pertain to story stuff but fleshes out how i picture the world in this au to work. most of this was written to answer dans questions about this au lol... not necessary to read unless if youre interested in my take of string of fate concept lol. or unless youre interested in the bit about bruiseshipping in this au at the very end

-

the string is often attached to the ring finger. so its a very romantic gesture when couples tie it together to each others fingers. like putting wedding rings on each other but its more of a cute fluffy thing rather than binding. not ceremony but its a Thing. its the same level of formality as asking someone out. and string is like. supernatural. its not completely physical but its definitely exists and can be touched. but not as if a literal string is tied to them if you know what i mean? like if the pair are far apart then the strings middle isnt visible but the ends that are tied floats towards the direction of their partner. the string is like. metaphysical. its a perceivable, somewhat tangible representation of love

but if desired the string can be cut if the parties want to separate. but it usually hurts. like a lot of breakups do.

okay so. the thing is with like. almost all soulmate aus. is that they know about their soulmate. or that the evidence of who it is is instantly visible. and like..... that sorta kills part of the fun? of falling in love?

so what if they dont know until they decide to try each other out first. thats the like. the thought behind the set up for this

like. theres sometimes the occasional dumbass whos going off constantly try to find their soulmate but ultimately a soulmate isnt someone you can simply Search for and find. so those kind of people end up being pricks who never will find a soulmate in their life because they dont want to work things out with ppl who arent their soulmate. the pursuit of a soulmate will usually end in disappointment

but sometimes. for the people who do find their soulmate. its because they gravitated to each other in the first place. 

like they fell in love with each other naturally. they liked the person for who they are. and so they decided to get together because they enjoy the other person so much. so when they realize they are meant to be they laugh like oh of course! they were meant to be. theyre like the hallmark movie couple of couples and the few of the very lucky ones

not being soulmates doesnt mean you can only fall in love with your soulmate tho. you can fall in love with anyone. regardless of whether theyre your soulmate or not. and even if theyre not. why does that fucking matter? the important thing isnt that they arent meant to be, but that they love each other anyways. isnt that more romantic? fuck fate the one i love is you

usually nonsoulmate relationship take more work. because the instant perfect chemisty of fated couples isnt there. buuuut. isnt that how love is like in reality? love is work sometimes. love is sometimes hard. but love is also worth it. so making the decision to work for it is more easy the more youre in love. not always the case. but in the healthy couples its usually the case

previously that the feeling behind the thread gives it its color. so. the string can end up being a different color if the feelings felt arent romantic love. most people dont know this though bc ppl who usually tie it are couples. and also it takes both of them to tie the string. every single relationship has a theoretical string color. its just most people who actually want the string are couples usually couples. and so for example, most aros dont ever even think of trying to tie it with someone bc they dont want that kinda bind. but if a curious aro wants to try it out bc they are questioning about their best friend if the two of them agree just to see. their string could actually be a different color than red. because the feelings behind it are platonic

its also entirely possible for a string to be entirely black between enemies hfhjskl. but however those kind of pair would usually NEVER tie the string together bc you know hbghsk. enemies. but if they were. it would be that color. but maybe some insane enemies who are obsessed with each other would do it tho. you know fated enemies and such

..... i have thoughts about bruiseshipping in this au also. theyre best friends, they can bind each other if they wanted to. they have the mutual sentiment required to. but due to the culture surrounding the red string of fate specifically, they never think to. even if they did consider it once they didnt ever bring it up bc awkward!!!!!! the string of fate is the symbol of love. couples treat it a bit frivolously but it is a loaded thing. the string of fate is conversely isnt strictly about love but its just often the case when you want to connect the souls of two people for eternity its usually because of love. theoretically i think their string color would actually oscillate between black and their standard representative color (maybe ill go with light blue lol....) depending on if theyre fighting or not. because it would be funny if it did. also. i think they might try it only after jay and nya retie their string of fate. because then they see its an option to tie strings of fate nonromantically. so theyre like... hey.... do you wanna like... just see? and thats that. two besties bound. jay has two strings of fate now

hysterically it would be funny if all the ninjas did it to each other. it would be a mess. but a colorful one. you know those ship charts where ppl draw lines for their otps and notps. its like that but its not shipping its just relationships and also every single person is connected to every single other person. not saying it has to happen in this au its just that the image of it is so fucking funny to me i had to say it. it would be useful tho if they wanted to find each other wherever they are. practical

maybe they should do that. idk

anyways. thats the end of my au. the post is longer than my og thread of it hjhklkjlkghjf. anyways. thats my weird subversion of string of fate au for jaya. writing the endgame jaya part tonight made think again. damn. im so fucking aro. i think the way i write romance always turn out not so romantic because of it. but also. THIS IS PEAK ROMANCE. SUBVERT BORING ROMANCE TROPES INTO SOMETHING LESS AMATANORMATIVE AND MORE INTERESTING FOR YOUR ENRICHMENT. I RECOMMEND IT. ITS MORE FUN. thats my biased aro ass speaking tho. but for reals. subvert tropes. find out what makes something truly romantic. anyways thanks for reading all of this. i am very fond of this au..... especially for the breakup scene lol...............

#my concepts #jaya #jem.txt #ninjago talk #its shorter than hanahaki au at least #also this is THE MOST aro take on string of fate possible #there might be typos it is 5:30am #ninjago

[princehoseok]

@cosmicdreamgrl tagged me 💜

who is your favourite k-pop group?

those 7 bald heads now, bts people call them

which member sparked your interest first?

ngl i cant really tell... couldve been jimin or namjoon, it was the on mv and i was obsessed with the whole thing so i started watching all their mv and yeah... definitely jimin and namjoon

who was your first bias?

after almost a year of overthinking it i decided namjoon was the one :)

what makes them your current bias?

ok heres the thing, i have a bias line, and that is the rap line so, here it goes:

namjoon: i have no idea how he does it but he says and does exactly what i need, i cannot express what i felt the first time i listened to indigo, how mono treats me... doesnt matter if i dont even know what im going through its like he knows and suddenly he's there to remind me that i am okay and everything will be okay, he's my OG, he understands me and listens to me without even trying ! its incredible, his vision... i cant, i cant understand how this works, but he makes it make sense, every single time.

yoongi: yoongi became part of my bias line last year after his tour, he wasnt even a bias wrecker, im not the army that goes through all the content, i still have so much to watch and learn, but that last day, the last concert i was coming home very late and i saw that the concert was just starting and i thought "im just gonna watch until namjoon and then im going to sleep" but i couldnt lol, i watched the whole thing, cried, and then kept crying a couple more hours because the last two years havent been the best in my personal life and i swear, the moment the concert ended and the "future's gonna be ok" screen came up it shocked me to my very core, i loved the album SO much, and i wanted to go to a concert (i couldnt but oh well), and like .. i listened and read that phrase for months and until that moment i didnt get it, that future's gonna be okay destroyed me in the best way possible and i am so thankful for min yoongi, im just very very thankful

hobi: my prince, mi amor, my everything! he makes me so happy, the way he manages his existance in this fucked up world is mind blowing, he's always taking pictures (idk why thats so special to me) and smiling, and ugh, my sister doesnt know their names very well so hoseok is "the one who laughs a lot", but then the way he takes his work so serious, he is so profesional, i loved hope world and when jitb happened i was shocked bc what is my sunshine doing with this dark eyeliner?? who made him emo? and boom that album is a motherfucking masterpiece!!!!!!! what if, arson and stop are just 😚 in general terms of music, hoseok's more my type of music, i mean more like my everyday music, (not that i dont like the others') but his style is just so cool.. he is so cool, his hype, his energy, he is my coolest boyfriend, the way a new ray of sunshine was born within him when he came to this world, i admire him so fucking much, every talented fiber of his body is precious and you want me to talk about his dancing? i cant bc this is long enough, im a sucker for dancers lets just say that... im well fed. i need him, i dont mean this in a delulu kinda way, i mean i need him and his energy, he makes me happy so i need him to be happy and gets everything he deserves because he deserves all the good things in this world!

*cough* so.. rapline because they give me life, next question..

who is your bias wrecker?

used to be taehyung but then yoongi stepped on him to be part of the bias line directly and taehyung disappeared, so at the moment jimin and jungkook drive me crazy... mostly jimin bc jk being the youngest makes me feel weird, i friendzoned him so hard from the start lmao

which members are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/bias wrecker?

seokjin, maybe its because he's coming back and i cant wait, that day ill cry and im so happy i miss him so much, and ive been reading seokjin fanfiction, his always makes me believe in love again idk, i love him i miss him, his voice ,.. omg im crying, give him back already

when did you first discover this group?

i believe it was the ama's performance in 2017?, i was watching the show and they performed and i didnt know them but i was so hyped lol, i was literally going WOOOOOOOOOOHOOO!!!!!!!!! at my house, and after that i think i saw a fake love performance? im not sure really, but for a couple of years the only songs i listened to were fake love and dna bc that was all i knew lol, THEN in 2020 i clicked on the ON mv bc i had a new tv and i was watching yt and it was there and i said ok lets see, it had been a couple of weeks since the video came out and yeah,.. there was no looking back no more, i believe it was the dancing for me, im a sucker for choreography and... theyre pretty good 🤠

have you ever been to one of their concerts?

no, dont remind me, i became army when the pandemic started and i didnt even tried for the ptd concerts bc the closest i had was LA and it was gonna be just impossible to get tickets so i kinda made up my mind around it, however i was destroyed when i couldnt get d day tickets... i dont want to talk about it lol, were ok ♥

what are some of your favorite songs by the group?

oh this is hard so this is ot7 only; black swan, lights, just one day, 21st century girl, pied piper, airplane pt 2 and dionysus .. that's some yeah

ok i made this too long im sorry,

whoever wants to play pls tag me, ily

#lydia dear god... theyre simple questions #why do i have to go off like this? idk im sorry #lydia #tag game #♥

[gizkasparadise]

I'm trying to get into cdramas and lmfaoooo it's been a struggle getting over so many weird things like the dubbing and the fact that episodes don't actually feel narratively like episodes with an end a beginning and a lot of other things I've found a few that were fantastic, the story of ming lan was a masterpiece and story of yanxi palace was fantastic as well. But I've been trying to watch a few others and I'm so confused I know they cut things due to censorship but these dramas don't make sense lmao like I'm trying to watch the long ballad and the way I'm at ep 6 and so many things I'm like??????????? It's not a question of who's who but the fact that they're not presenting a clear narrative now I'm not someone who needs to be fed a story with a spoon but this seems like a writing/directing problem more than a complex storyline idk how to explain it exactly but it happened with other dramas as well where it feels like I'm watching half a show where I skipped scenes or episodes by mistake except I didn't ???? Is this a common thing with cdramas bc I've been watching asian dramas and american shows since I was a kid and I've seen a loooot of them and there have been some good and some bad but this is a new experience where it feels like it's not a question of whether it's good or not we haven't even gotten to that yet, it needs to make a lick of sense first for me to be able to say that like akkdjdhfjf

as a western viewer, there was definitely a learning curve for me when getting into cdramas--particularly ones that are historical or xianxia. there's a couple reasons for that i think. one is that airing schedules work VERY differently with cdramas, where multiple eps drop in one day. in those situations, it's really like a group of eps = 1 days' worth of airing/1 narrative ep as we might see with kdramas or western shows (and why ends of eps can feel more like commercial breaks than actual endings/some eps end literally mid-scene). another is like you mentioned with censorship, which seems particularly egregious over the last handful of years re: cutting eps (some dramas have had THIRTY+ EPS worth of content cut in post-production, and to my knowledge there's now a cap of 40 eps per drama, which has recently lead to more eps getting cut as well as the "split season" longer dramas like love like the galaxy, immortal samsara, the blue whisper, etc.). i know a few plot devices (ex: reincarnation, time traveling i think?) and relationships (lgbt+) are also prone to being censored, which can hurt storytelling when they have to be worked around to pass censorship boards. Executive Meddling is unfortunately really strong in the post-production/editing process.

the other is just a lack of cultural knowledge on my part, which as i watch and follow other blogs ive slowly started learning. i think the long ballad is a tough cdrama for beginners since it's 1) an adaptation of a manhua, and is the case with most adaptations story elements get shortened, moved around, etc. (and i think the original manhua isnt even finished yet? which definitely can hurt the overall storytelling execution) and 2) very grounded in real historical events (like the xuanwu gate incident) that might be common knowledge to a chinese audience but not necessarily to an international one

that said, things like editing, cultural knowledge, etc. aren't unique to just cdrama. i imagine there's tons of western shows that make 0 sense on the international audience scale.

#asks! #cdrama

[lifeduringwar-time]

PLEASE talk more about ren & stimpy if you’d like to!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH It genuinely means a lot. Where do i even begin

american animation had been in like a complete dark age (save for a few bright moments) from like the late 60s through most of da 80s. at least in television: i don’t think there’s a lot of ways to create a great animated tv show bc the production process is so rigid and asks for boatloads of content to be released one after the other after the other. artists had to take a lot of shortcuts to keep up with the strict deadlines that were inherent to the very medium they were working in, and i think it rlly did a number on the quality of american animation. combine this w the fact that by the 80s Every tv cartoon was just an advertisement for a toy + animation had garnered a reputation of being for kids, and it rlly did look like the future of television animation was just dead

But then…… mighty mouse the new adventures 😼 created by THE ralph bakshi who made the first adult american animated film (fritz the cat is like a #1 favorite film of mine I love it to bits 😁), and was supported by a shitload of younger animators who had enough of working in what they saw as a hopeless medium. they let a lot of their anger and frustration out through the show, and they all kinda bonded through their shared cynicism and boredom lol. 3 of them, including the senior director of the show Who was also like. kinda bakshi’s protege (john k), decided to form their own studio, and the studio hereby declared as spümcø formed a couple years later through the addition of a final 4th co-founder

so like a little while after spümcø was created, a small company known as nickelodeon was looking for animators to create their own original cartoons. Some of the higher-ups at nick wanted to reach out to a large younger audience, and they noticed the manufactured state of television animation and thought that it was terrible entertainment for these potential viewers. nick held meetings with a lot of aspiring creators, and spümcø was one of the last of them: they got lucky as all hell, and before they knew they had one of the 1st nicktoons on their hands

Why did i tell you all this lol???? bc ren and stimpy was very much a product of its time And i think that made it so timeless: the anger and cynicism that essentially created the studio absolutely bled over to r+s and it absolutely shows. the creators have gone out of their way to clarify that its a show for kids bc of how controversial its content was, but i really dont think that was the case And i mean that in the best way possible. it was more a show for them: they got a chance to make the cartoons they had been waiting their whole careers to make, and they took it. the look of the show wears its inspirations on its sleeve, harkening back to early hanna-barbera tv shows and bob clampett’s warner brothers cartoons that the animators had grown up on (which is actually another reason why i think the show is cool… They purposefully avoided the artistic shortcuts i mentioned earlier!! This method definitely had its faults but it created a really beautiful looking show that appreciated that it was animated ya know); there were jokes and pop culture references, but they were in the form of non-sequiturs to old kirk douglas movies and burl ives songs that no 10 year-old was ever gonna understand; there were real emotions on display, but they werent overly syrupy happiness and the like, there was like genuine discomfort and horror at times. Im not fucking joking Heres a quote i found that sums up what i wanna say here its from an eric andre interview of all places

(side note i first learned abt ren and stimpy because john k’s in the new year’s eve spooktacular. Small world)

this weird ass show came from a place of pure anarchy. It was very much a reaction to all the ways television animation had been wronged in the past, but it created this edgy and counterculturist show that helped bring life back to a medium previously considered dead, and it opened the gateway to countless other shows like it. for example, ren and stimpy also aired on mtv (which is so weird to think about. A nicktoon was on mtv) and the shows success was a reason why the channel agreed to produce mike judge’s short “frog baseball” into a full series, which obviously became beavis and butt-head. And without beavis and butt-head we wouldnt have like the past 30 years of adult animated television so there ya go

but also like! going back to that eric andre quote, that style of uncomfortable comedy mustve influenced a lot of modern comedies, at the very least because r+s helped make that style more mainstream. not to mention the shows gross-out humor, which was seen as sooooo controversial back in the day

I think im gonna stop here bc this is already long as is But this is only scraping the top of the barrel imo this show is so so crazy. its literally shaped the past 30 years of american pop culture imo but i feel like bc its a nicktoon nobody ever really acknowledges it, hopefully this like changes your mind idk I hope my ramblings make a semblance of sense

Anyways heres a quote about john k keeping horse teeth under his pillow as a kid

#if anyone ever wants me to talk about ren and stimpy again Please ask me to talk about the split between spumco and nickelodeon..... #john was literally fired from the show only 13 months after it premiered LOL i have a lot of thoughts abt it #but seriously Thank you whoever asked me this this rlly does mean a lot 🥺 ive been waiting all day to get back to this Not even joking #hope somebody enjoys reading this <3

[nofoodclub]

This is fucking stoopid in a solid 98% sure he caught the feels too and if it weren't for all the extenuating circumstances (i.e. my dad) we would probably have some pretty fucking good times. I get why he is feeling the need to go quiet with me, if roles were reversed i would probably be making the same call. It was very kind of him to get me set up last night...i had the purest of intentions on that being my last shot... but things don't work out the way we intend too often, especially when there's heroin involved. I know that i ruined myself for all other forms of love this last year, nothing can ever top the absolute pure magical bliss that comes from doing a beautiful thick shot of dark. What's the hardest is that i dont evwn want to quit...i just wish i had never done it in the first place. I wish i would have kept my stance of its mother fucking HEROIN and stayed very far away from it. My love of terrible, no good, destructive boys gets me into some trouble... this ine def got me into some real toruble (fun? yeah it was def fun a whoie heck of a lot of fun, i miss him uhg) its gonnabe better for me long run to not be involved with him and not having simple stupid easy acess to all the drug i could ever want will probably be the only way to get my mom off my back (and to get everyone off j's back bc i am worried about what they could figure out to do to him legally or not so legally... my mom has said she would kill him givven the chance and i dont really doubt that a whole lot. i miss him but i know hes doing what he needs to do for himself and honestly this might be the only way i can ever have him back in my life in some aspect in the future is to let things die down for a while now...let susposions go, build trust back up no matter how utterly false i know it will be... i dont see much of a future for myself that would be too content without that aspect of danger and risk...like really any of the shots ive taken could have been my last, even the ones that were solid clear theres fucking fent in meth too now. fuck i do good at distracting myslelf from the one thing my heart is aching for for a couple min at a time then i hear a car that sounds vaugely like jakes truck,or i want a hug or i just fucking take a breath and i miss him again. we were so close to something now we are solidly notjhing....even a real goodbye would be nice, but then agan my idea of a nice goodbye consists of many hours, and many orgasms....which is pronbably a tad more than i should expext...fuck i would be hsppy with s hug.

this is from a while ago but feels are still 100% there. i miss j. all the others im distracting myself with are just that...distractions bc i still havent and tbh dont want to get over j. he ticked most of my boxes which is not easy to do... everyone keeps telling me hes a bad person but they dont know him they only know his arrest record, which is designed to make him look like a bad person. doesnt show any of his personal morales or the fact that he has a really good heart. very walled up which i can fully understand but ive seen him under his front that he keeps up, and hes a beautiful human. his softer side is a lovely thing, but hes right to keep it guarded so it doiesnt get destroyed. hes been dealt a lot of shit, i really want to help him clear it up, or have a magic wand that can take care of it all so i can see him again, but the world doesnt work like that so ill have to be patient. im not good at that. its driving me insane actually...i got to be intimate with him for hardly an hour, and in that hour i saw so many possibilities...i thought i was going to get a chance to explore at least some of them...but it was all taken away so soon. maybe not for good, i might get my chance again someday. but i cant count on it. i camt let myself wait for soemthing that may never come. i have to keep moving forward no matter how much i want to go back. there is no going back, the world keeps going and i can either choose to adapt with it or be left behind and truly hopeless. so ill keep going, ill keep exploring my optioins despite how i know i would still prefer the other one. its not an option right now i have to keep remiding myslef. no ammount of longing, hopeless texts or sad lonley waiting will change that. only time. so i might as well make the most of my time with people who can boost my ego a bit. the easy ones never are as exciting for me. i dont feel like ive accomplished anything with them. right now im a solid 8 to 9.5, j is maybe a 5 so that one really was just void fill to me, s is a 7 or so physically, but mentally he isint on the same level as me. he seems a little slow from all the years he spent tweaking. no im not one to talk much considering im still on the shit, but original j even though has been on it the longest, still has his head on straight. he still registers as being on my level..bringing him up to a 9 for me. he certainly has his flaws. anger is a thing ive noticed in him that frightens me, but i know he would never get physical with me. anger just triggers me to shut down and i do not like it. fuck how i know im still in too deep for j is when i try to think of his flaws, not that many come to mind. my love for him clouds all of it. my love for him will be my downfall. once i let someone take up residence in my heart like this, they dont ever fully leave. i dont want him to....i want him to find his way back to me, then i want him to never have to leave again. in whatever aspect ends up working out, i want him in my life. even if that means no more sexual intimancy, weve crossed that barrier. i can see more of him than he pervoiusly let me see, and i dont think he can take that away from me. that might be why hes so scared of me. i think he knows that. he def knows that he has some kind of feels for me that go past purley platonic or sexual. theres something more there and we both know it. i just hope we get a chance to explore that someday. we hardly cracked the surface before it all crumbled, we were so fradgile and i let it all slip away. dear universe...heres to manefesting another shot at connecting with jake again. im not specifing the type of connection, that can be up to your descretion. just know i love him and would like a deeper connection, but i love him enough to accept whatever will work, just so long as i can have him in my life again. the ability to talk freely to him again would mean so much to me. i miss my friend like crazy. 

[yuziyuanapologist]

btw!!! I see the content creators watermarking things and I Absolutely love it and I wish I was cool enough to do that

#i feel like i need to clarify even though i probably dont #bc i know ive been making a lot of content over the last couple of days #without watermarks #and it occurred to me that people might thing im being passive aggressive but im NOT #i just dont know how to join in #all these big creator blogs seem to be friends and i am just. i am just sitting here #rino shhh

[comradedream]

if you're watching old vods, do you know any playlists that have most of them? i'm fairly new to the fandom and a completionist at heart so i could really do with something like that

hi o em gee i personally dont rly rewatch old vods i was looking into some for a dnf archival project im helping work on BUT here are the playlists i do use for editing and stuff !! im like. 99% sure there isnt one huge playlist for all of dteams stream appearances bc theres a LAWTTT over 2019-2022 But heres what i do have 😭 (its also a lot)

this is a really really good george streams playlist, its maintained by georgeliker here on tumblr i use it all the time ! they have everything streamed from his own channels from the very start, iirc its just missing a couple in summer 2020 because the original posters took them down 👹 BUT i literally got a hold of both that im aware are missing yesterday LOL and im gonna try and reupload them today on some channel so theyre accessible for everyone who wants them

this feral boys stream playlist is amazing from what i can tell, they have stuff missing from the first half of 2020 but the 'feral boys' friendgroup rly became a thing in late 2020 so its honestly incredible for having everything that they do, and at the moment they regularly update it

i owe this person my LIFEEEEEE they upload alt streams from like all of the feral boys (and dreams discord podcasts.) they also organize streams by streamer playlists

and then vaydra reuploads dream's aforementioned discord podcasts with the silences cut down so you can access the actual speaking parts easier if ur into that

i use this persons channel for recent dream streams <- last like five months maybe and this ones for dream teams older ones, quackity uploads his own vods, this is a bonus but this person used to literally trim down dteam appearances on other peoples streams for a little period of time LOL

original stream dates are typically in the description of the video, the playlists are all chronological and the channels USUALLY are they just have more to sift through. obviously theres a shit ton of content i just dumped on u LOLL, some of it repetitive, but hopefully u make some sense of it and pick out stuff ur interested in :]

and then my dms/asks are always always open if u ever need help with finding a specific vod (or timestamp even) or want stream recs or need any help understanding any sort of timelines or Events or anything like that. ive been into dream team since sept 2020 n i know my way around vods really well cuz i make compilations So im always down to help as much as i can or answer any questions from any1, i genuinely love talking to ppl new to the fandom i find it so fun LOLLL

HOPE THIS HELPSSSS GOOD LUCK :( <3

#asks #long post

[unalivejournal]

u mentioned only reading kripke era fic do you have a reclist 👀👀👀and if not could you link some of ur faves cuz the stuff that gets circulated the most right now is all like late late seasons fic and kripke era is my favorite too but im having trouble finding that many fics for it or even seasons 6-10 era which im fine with also. its just that like. the last five seasons were so bad that it makes fic generally worse too because people have to jump off of just Thee stupidest plot choices no matter how good their prose skills might be. but anyway yea if u have recs that would be awesome :)

hi anon i was thinking abt making a reclist and u just gave me the perfect excuse thank u

jess adamilligan’s kripke era fic recs

from making this ive learned that i never bookmark ANYTHING. sorry all of these r like….. 10k and under. i DO read longer fic but i don’t have any kripke era longfics bookmarked & tbh i prefer short oneshots

season one gen

disclaimer because it’s unfortunately needed: NONE of these are w*ncest! they’re all completely tagged as gen and i did not read them with the intent of consuming ship content.

Coaster Park by fogsrollingin, 10.4k, G, gen

Coaster Park had been experiencing an unusually high frequency of technical difficulties. Dean wouldn't have pulled a shift treating nauseated, heat-stroked, or dehydrated park-goers for that if he could've helped it, but when 'technical difficulties' were accompanied by rumors of things moving and stopping on their own in front of the operators' eyes, Dean had to throw down.

No historical tragedies or disasters in the area, ectoplasm, or EMF. Dean's only lead was a battered-looking kid that'd been coming to the park every day since it'd all started.

really interesting au fic! slightly ‘it’s a terrible life’. dean winchester is a hunter/EMT and sam wesson is a college kid destined to die on a roller coaster ride.

two basic motivating forces by sahwen, 7.8k, T, gen

He can’t cry, it’s not allowed; even as a child he was hushed into silence, whether his tears were from a long car ride or a late night or a raging fever. It’s never been an option, it’s never been an available outlet, and it’s not about to start being one just because he’s having an emotional breakdown on the bathroom floor.

Sam isn't only afraid of clowns.

BIG emetophobia tw (both for graphic depictions of nausea/vomiting and for the fact that this fic is about sam suffering from emetophobia) for this one but it’s my favorite sickfic. portrays anxiety over getting sick really well and is a fascinating examination of the different ways that sam’s fear of loss of control can manifest itself. also has lovely brothers content <3

Let’s Start at the Very Beginning (Remix of Just as Easy as 123) by nwspaprtaxis, 4k, T, gen

Dean’s functionally illiterate and Sam’s determined to remedy it...

PLEASE READ THIS ONE god it’s so sweet. dean never learned how to read properly due to his nomadic childhood and sam teaches him how.

dean/cas

Broadway Musical by Griftings, 9k, M, m/m

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle.

The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at.

Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.

somewhat of a fandom classic and the humor holds up wonderfully. a very silly fic completed with commentary from angel radio throughout the entire thing.

Sappiest Season by dollsome, 2.7k, G, m/m

In which Dean and Cas have to stop an evil Christmas tree (like you do), and it requires a little fake couple action.

hilarious little s5ish fic. one of the first i read when getting back into spn. i don’t want to spoil anything but this is my favorite pick me up and i still giggle randomly whenever i think about it

The (Mostly Accidental) Courtship of Dean Winchester by tuesday

Angelic marriage rites were never intended to go quite like this.

another fandom classic. ik this one is recced a lot but how could i NOT include it. dean and cas get married (mostly by accident) and they’re huge cunts about it

the one thing in the galaxy god didn't have his eyes on by prufrock, 2.4k, T, gen + m/m

“Wait,” Dean says. “Let me get this right. You can fly, right—you can teleport—but you can’t drive a car?”

or, after the events of S5E03 "Free to Be You and Me," Dean teaches Cas to drive. Cas finds it stressful

im always a sucker for a good ftbyam fic. also i can’t drive so. resonation

So Says The Sword by komodobits, 85k, E, m/m

The briefing was simple: ‘Stand guard over the Michael Sword until the battle is ready to commence. Await further instructions.’

Castiel doesn’t mind working security duty; he was briefed shortly after the initial salvation of the Sword from the pit, and again before taking up his position. He knows what to do. However, it’s easy to forget that the green room isn’t real. Time moves differently there, the space ever-changing to make a prison of mountains, cathedrals, salt flats, orchards, and whatever Castiel was led to believe about Heaven’s greatest weapon—Dean Winchester is something entirely unexpected.

NO introduction neede. i think everyone on spntumblr has read this already but still. if you haven’t then i am demanding that you read it NOW. tbh i’m just adding this one so that i have at least one long fic here 😭

the weight by @myaimistrue, 3.5k, T, gen + m/m

“Do you…” Bobby sighs. “Listen, Dean, do you have something you wanna tell me?”

It’s the conversational equivalent of being punched in the stomach.

Or, Dean works through some things with Bobby's help.

WHEN I SAW THE USERNAME I GASPED I HAD NO IDEA THIS WAS U. anyway i Love coming out fics idk why i just do. the world is ending and dean comes out to bobby

canticles by 2street2car, 10.3k, T, m/m

“But you know something? If I couldn’t get you laid, at least I gave you a good first date.”

feat: footsies at a Ruby Tuesday, stargazing, the recreation of an iconic "Dirty Dancing" scene (no, not that one—the other one), and practicing for When You're With A Girl.

another ftbyam fic that skepticalfrog (i believe?) recommended a while back. made me feel at least 28 new emotions

Epilogue by JayneL, 28k, E, m/m

Bobby is here, swearing somewhere above and behind him; and Dean is here, talking about 2014 like it's a foreign country; and Sam is here, and is not Lucifer. Which means-- Bobby is here, swearing somewhere above and behind him; and Dean is here, talking about 2014 like it's a foreign country; and Sam is here, and is not Lucifer. Which means--

Cas is no longer when he was. Lucifer sent him back.

Coda to 'The End'.

2014 cas gets sent back to 2009, feelings ensue etc. i don’t remember all the details of this one bc it’s been a while but it’s really good

bonus

currently reading

Fragile As We Lie by perilously, 11k, E, f/f

Dragging Bela Talbot out of perdition isn't so much a decision as it is a frantic choice based on gut instinct. Her soul is bright, if fractured, and Anna yearns to do good again after the perversion of free will that immediately preceded her death.

Bela's no ordinary human, though; she's prickly and damaged and beautiful, and Anna doesn't want to leave her side. So maybe they can figure out how to navigate post-resurrection, post-Apocalypse-that-wasn't Earth together.

#sorry i took a few days to answer this haha #asks #anon #fic recs

[jovishark]

If it’s that emotionally distressing for you that you can’t even cope w someone liking old content then just delete it? You said in the tag “I won’t delete bc it makes some people happy” but then isn’t that literally the opposite of what you just said? Who gives a shit if someone likes your old content if you openly hate it that much?

i give a shit, because ive been that person who really enjoyed an artists art and came back one day to find it all gone. it sucks! and the more mature part of me is saying 'no wait, if you delete it all, you wont get to laugh about it in a couple years or however long it takes for you to be able to look at it again' but this part of me is just mad that that old (ugly, badly drawn) crap is getting lots of attention but the art i spend whole days on i have to reblog multiple times so anyone sees it

the thing thats distressing me isnt the art itself existing, its the fact that timestamps are so invisible on tumblr that people (young, young people, which is a separate issue) are just now finding it and asking me about it. im not Mad at them, its not their fault and they didnt really do anything that bad. this isnt world ending. but it is incredibly frustrating that i put it on my about page and in my pinned tweet on twitter not to ask me about this stuff. i dont really want to talk about it anymore, i dont want to think about it, and i really hate feeling discouraged because my current art will never be as loved or as popular as the sp stuff. why does that matter so much? because, i was young when i did the fandom stuff, and i assumed just because everyone liked that stuff meant their interest would carry over to anything i did later! it didnt, which now i kind of realize is just the way stuff happens. nobody Needs to like my art, or interact with my posts, or tell me anything. i know that. it doesnt mean that its not frustrating

i know youre not the only one who scrolled by and went 'ugh. shut up. who cares,' and youre right. but i cares! its my blog and its my feelings, and sometimes i get upset when i take the time to try to warn people about what will piss me off and they dont read it. if youve taken the time to send me a message in the last day or so, thank you, because you didnt have to do that and its nice to be talked to. i just wish it wasnt digging up my old ghosts and asking me to make more of them

#this got long but i took a nap and had a think #and i dont think im being unreasonable or ridiculous #i just think its upsetting when the old art gets likes and then like... people dont stick around? #why give interactions to things i wont ever do again #im asking too much of people again and i know i sound like a whiney baby but #i just need to think more on it #shh

[nightmaremerchant]

okay ik this is an opinion no one asked for but now im thinking about the whole dan and phil joint branding as opposed to Dan Branding™ and Phil Branding™. also this is fully adding onto posts on @ browncesario and @ demonetisation’s blogs and i feel too awkward to tag them bc i dont wanna make anyone feel obligated to read this lol but if i repeat anything they said or their anons said its not on purpose!

but like, full disclaimer while i love dan and phil i feel like its always been kind of obvious that they were marketing their relationship to us? obv not so much anymore but like... as much as people who dont keep up w dnp like to pretend that their only awareness of us as a fanbase was creepy objectifying shippers who should feel ashamed for harassing them etc etc, they’ve always been way more tuned into their audience than i think people realize. like they’ve *known* what we’re like, and i dont even mean just the bad parts. like they *know* that a lot of their fanbase is queer and genuinely has looked up to them as queer role models long before they were out, and a lot of that hinges on us understanding they were a couple. and ik they resented it and i wasn’t really part of the fanbase until a few years ago but hearing stories of how dan would react on liveshows sometimes and the like, barely concealed resentment for the fans sometimes shows that while they definitely had issues with it (which like,,, is fair), they also knew they were kind of stuck in a rut. because if their primary source of fans are people who like seeing them together, that meant that their success as youtubers/creators/etc depended on keeping those fans right where they were.

and to be clear! i know ive never been here primarily for their relationship; i started watching them bc i thought they were funny together and had a good dynamic, which wouldve been possible even if they really were just friends. i didnt get emotionally invested in the projection part of it until later. but even so, i was always aware as a fan that they were selling to us the speculation of their relationship.

and this is def pulling from other posts ive seen today but considering the fanfic part of tatinof, the fact that they wrote fanfic in tabinof and incorporated shippy fan art into the youtube versions, giving the people what they want, even little things like the conjoined baking challenge vid.... they wanted us to stay curious about their relationship. Even if on a very real level it was literally bringing back trauma for them, there was this weird cognitive dissonance between “im angry at people for speculating about us” and “look here, dont stop speculating about us! look we’re sharing a sweater! look we’re being ~domestic~ in ditls!”

which is also why i thought the hiatus wouldnt last long tbh, like i was genuinely shocked that after the success of ii they would completely separate their brandings from each other in 2019. and i wont @ this person but someone said it best years ago when they said that joint branding had to die for dnp to come out. bc it really did; how could they keep up the speculation if we have literally almost all the puzzle pieces laid out? when they’ve primed their audience to actively hunt down these pieces (even if again, they would rather have not, esp given what they each talked about in their coming out videos), but they dont *want* us to put it all together, how could they sustainably make joint content while keeping the speculation fanbase there? bc once the speculation is over, people are gonna keep wanting more. (and disclaimer i really dont think this applies to like....anyone i follow on here tbh bc in general i feel like we’re fine w them keeping their boundaries where they are, but we’ve all seen posts like that that indicate that people *will* want more, and thats something that they’re unwilling to give and understandably so).

anyway this all goes to the main thing that brought all this on today lol, ever since 2019 they’ve been trying to cultivate their own separate branding from each other, and while i’m here for it tbh, surely they know that they’ll never escape their old joint branding. Which also means never escaping the spectre of relationship speculation. so i have mixed feelings about seeing dan act shocked that people could ever speculate about his private life once he became famous bc like 1) thats literally just what happens when you become famous, and 2) ....he and phil egged it on up to a point, and that doesnt mean it didnt upset them but it definitely feels off for dan to always be so pikachu face about having had fans that speculated about his relationship. like dan you literally wrote erotic fanfiction about you and phil, pieced together fan art illustrating it that showed you and phil in a homoerotic lens, and yet you’re *still* acting shocked and indignant that fans got invested in your relationship/the possibility of your relationship?? idk man. its confusing bc at the time i took things like that as “oh, we’re in on the joke,” but ever since 2019 they’ve made it more clear that we’re not, but we’re also not *not* in on it to an extent (looking at you, cah phan edition)

so im def still excited for dan’s book (like the subject doesnt terribly interest me tbh but i do wanna see what he does with it and read whatever highlights inevitably get posted on here), but as always w the end of regular joint content, im lowkey here for the over-analyzing about the relationship between dan, phil, their fans, and their content bc dear god we never run out of material to rant about

#see this is why i knew i needed to make my own post instead of a tag rant that someone fully did not ask for lmao #and i might delete this one too tbh #i just wanted to get my thoughts out here #bc while we’re being critical i have Opinions lol #but i really do still love them! #fully comfort youtubers and that’ll never change #im here bc they’re funny but im also here bc they’re fun to poke at #and the whole community on here is fun to analyze #anyway #dnp #my post #long post // #i’d say lemme know if i should tag anything so ppl can block posts like this #but its not like i make them a lot anyway so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #im mostly just here to procrastinate editing my actual essays for school

[nbapprentice]

You said a while back that while Supergiant games (Bastion, Transistor, Hades) was mostly okay, you had some words about them. I was curious as to what those words were, since Hades' full release is soon.

okay. alright. ive been playing hades lately so i definitely want to give my two cents (or dollars by the size this is gonna get). but let’s go Step by Step

the good: i want to throw a whole Endorsement over supergiant games with the art direction and its characters, which is what keeps me coming back again and again, and what i can assume is that most people are attracted to. 

gameplaywise, they have a Format they stick to which has become their staple, not to their detriment but to their advantage, like... gameplay tropes, so to speak, that they stick to (such as the addition of special conditions that give a disadvantage in exchange for more long-term rewards)

i fucking adore that they take one concept per game, go for it, and when they’re done they are Done; they don’t bother with sequels, they don’t want to run things to the ground and i fucking respect that. They have their themes, and they stick to them (to various degrees of success).

that said, like every piece of media, they are not perfect and this has to be analysed and spoken about

CONTENT WARNINGS: genocide and ethnic cleansing, antisemitism, misogyny, homophobia, suicide, and mentions of incest, and a general Spoilers warning

bastion: touches on ethnic cleansing, and not in a way i’d say is satisfactory. our narrator and one of our Sympathetic characters is one of the men who worked on a world-ending weapon meant to use against the Ura (a group of people coded as East Asian) which after a bit of googling is literally called “the final solution” if there was ever a war between the Ura and the Cael (who feel like rly tan white people to me). jesus fucking CHRIST.

we also meet more Ura other than our two named characters and we have to kill most of them. so that fucking blows.

the game tries for “being a genocidal monster will get you fucked up and blown up” which duh, but i feel we shouldn’t have had a person responsible for war crimes be one of our friends no matter how bad he feels about the whole thing, or the people victim of war crimes become villains in the latter half of the game. zia’s father could’ve taken ruck’s role ez pz.

transistor: the weakest of their games, imo; the lore and writing are fairly flimsy and i did not come out feeling Satisfied, especially because it had this rly good build-up that did not pay off. not to mention... their villains? 3/4 were gay people. lol. two married guys (not even explicit, you only realize by their shared last names) and the ps*cho lesbian trope (iirc she wanted to kill the protagonist’s lover or something). the female protagonist also ends up killing herself to live forever in a digital paradise with her dead lover. it’s. god. 

very Aesthetic, GORGEOUS music, interesting gameplay; had potential, i do not feel like it lived up to it at least as far as the story goes.

pyre: now this one. this one’s BEEFY. where transistor felt flimsy, pyre is rich; lots to sink your teeth into, rich in lore and loveable characters, again w the beautiful music, themes of cooperation and togetherness. my favorite of the cast is volfred sandalwood, the only Black (or, well, Black-coded) revolutionary i’ve ever seen portrayed with this amount of sympathy.

onto the bad: they literally have a Class of character named “Savage”; there’s the “mystical mentally ill person” trope; there is an overwhelming amount of explicit m/f pairs (one of them being. a romance that formed in a single day and then both of the characters were somehow willing to risk it all for each other? PLEASE) while the only hints of gayness are... hints. especially when Jodariel (another of my favs) is teased to have feelings for the player regardless of gender then only gets an ending with a male character with whom she has nothing in common 🙃

hades: and now. this one. music: gorgeous. character designs: spectacular (aphrodite is straight up naked but it’s so... natural and casual, it doesn’t feel sexualized at all). voice acting amazing. character interactions charming and endearing. as a greek mythology nerd, it was nice to see them go for the obscure shit like Zagreus at all, NOT portray Persephone and Hades as a loving couple, AND portrayed the gods as the bunch of petty assholes (some more benevolent than others) that they are. imo they’re too generous with their portrayal of achilles but i’ll allow it.

and finally... it seems all those criticisms about having all the gay characters hidden in the shadows paid off, cuz we got (aside of patroclus and achilles) a bisexual polyamorous protag. Holy Shit! and it’s not even playersexual, romance whomever you want shit without the routes recognizing each other: he explicitly talks about how he’s thinking abt them both (though it’s like “yeah usually mortals take one lover but gods love many huh” polyamory is a human thing too bro!!!!!)

and this is where it all goes, well, at least vaguely downhill lol. ok so the incest warning i gave up there? well. it’s not... outright incestuous. but it has some ugly implications. i want to emphasize: the characters never refer to each other as siblings, nor do they treat each other as such (thanatos, in fact, only recognizes hypnos as his brother, and megaera only sees the other furies as her sisters), but they were all raised by the same woman, Nyx... zagreus and thanatos even grew up together (im assuming megaera didnt meet zagreus until he was fully grown).

this is complicated even worse by the fact that they tried to trick zagreus into believing Nyx was his mother. he realized pretty early on this was not true but like... adoptive mothers, anyone? granted i can believe that bc of the attempt at deception that probably ruptured any attempt at actual familial closeness, and it’s not like hypnos and thanatos saw zagreus as their brother at any point, so they were p much aware of the truth too. with the fact that thanatos even looks like goth miles edgeworth (im not kidding you can google him up right now its literally edgeworth in a cowl) i rly feel they were aiming for Childhood Friend Anime Rival Man than the “surprise kiss bc ur not actually related <3″ shit. zagreus never once refers to nyx as his mother in-game, and also refers to thanatos and hypnos as her sons, never his brothers.

so yeah, like. if one’s feeling generous, zagreus and thanatos are more of a “my father is emotionally closed off and neglects me so my best friend’s mother basically raised me” kind of situation... just pulled off in, perhaps, the worst way possible (why didnt they just say Zagreus was told Hekate was his mom, that’s such an easy fix? or that he was born of nobody other than Hades??? [gestures at athena])

but then, the gods. aaaaaaaahhhhahahahh the gods. demeter shows up! and she calls zeus, hades and poseidon... her foster-brothers. which somehow would make the persephone thing less fucking awful, apparently. they really. really really did not need to do that. she could’ve just said “my fellow gods” or whatever. or my “god-brothers” or something, to pretend it was just a weird god alliance thing??? i dont know but implying that foster family isn’t family is just... bro, the dynamics still exist.

Don’t Like That.

i even contacted supergiant games over this. they reassured me they were even trying to avoid the incest of the original myths bc they didn’t want to mess with such a heavy theme. i believe them... but i really think they didn’t think this through. compared to something like fire emblem fates this is nearly benign, but the implications don’t look good :/

tl;dr of the tl;drs: i admire their artistic philosophy and the heavy emphasis on fresh gameplay, characters and their relationships; i appreciate that it seems that they listen to criticism?; i don’t appreciate that they didn’t think to at LEAST talk to adoptees when making a game about family.

#Anonymous #asks #mod nba #supergiant #supergiant games #bastion #transistor #hades #pyre

[thelastofcorina]

Got tagged in this ask game by @sapphic-zoe

(like a week ago omg sorry this is late but thank you so much for tagging me <3)

~Why did you choose your url?~

Corina is my screen name. I wanted to make a TLOU dedicated blog so it just made sense.

~Any side blogs? if you have them: name them and why you have them~

Not currently. This is actually a fresh account that I made bc I wanted a TLOU main blog. I had many on my old account. but I haven’t used them in ages

~How long have you been on tumblr?~

oof a very long time. Probably like since 2014/15 i cant really remember. I left for a while but recently made this blog bc i missed having an active account. I've already interacted with so many lovely people.

~Do you have a queue tag?~

I don't but I probably should.

~Why did you start your blog in the first place?~

I wanted community. I love that aspect about tumblr. I haven't actively been a participating member of a fandom in so long I really missed it. Plus I think there are a higher number of Abby appreciators on this website over anywhere else on the internet. I really thought the general consensus was that she was hated. Boy was I wrong, at least when it comes to this website. Its all about finding your people ;)

~Why did you choose your icon?~

I love Abby.

~Why did you choose your header?~

I love a smiling Abby.

~How many mutuals do you have?~

I honestly don't know omgg at least like 10, probably. All the peeps who like and comment on my stoopid little posts simping over abby. I see you and I love you.

~How many followers do you have?~ 113 :D (Ive had this blog less than a month and it feels like thats a lot. Like what are ya'll doing here. I love you. Thank you for putting up with my Abby obsession) ~How many people do you follow?~

only 59 :( I need to follow more people, I'm working on it.

~Have you ever made a shit post?~

Yes of course. Sometimes I just post the first Abby related thing that pops into my brain.

~How often do you use tumblr each day?~

Too much, and yet somehow not enough.

~Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?who won?~

Ages and I mean AGES ago on my old blog. It was a themed blog for Death Note the anime. It was around the time Yuri on Ice was coming out (so like late 2016) and I was really excited about it and was reblogging some gifsets. I didn't tag spoilers which was absolutely my bad. Someone got upset that I had spoiled that weeks episode for them in an Ask, which I apologized for, but they went on to say that I shouldn't have been posting ANY YOI content at all bc I was a Death Note blog and that I was "deceiving my followers" and wasn't delivering on what they followed me for. I kindly told them that it was MY blog and that I was sorry but if I wasn't a good enough DN blog for them then they should unfollow me. They said they would but they sent all these asks anonymously so I never really knew who it was.

~How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?~

If I'm being quite honest they really spike my anxiety sometimes and I always feel guilty scrolling past.

~Do you like tag games?~

I haven't really done a lot of them in the past but I do like them! When this was going around my mutuals last week I really enjoyed reading them too :)

~Do you like ask games?~

I do! but I'm always too nervous to send one in lol

~Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I won't tag them here bc we're very recently mutuals but I think a couple of my mutuals actually are (at least in the tlou fandom) and I'm very honored that they would follow me back at all

~Do you have a crush on a mutual?~ Not currently but i absolutely ADORE all of my mutuals.

(If u haven't done this one yet, and only if u want to <3) tagging@sapphic-cupid @yungtano @alex-lest-writes

AND anyone of my followers/mutuals that hasn't done this yet! I love reading them so pls tag me :)

[sargentr]

my fave drarry fics of all time, part one

so, after discovering i’ve officially been reading drarry fanfic for 4 years now, i decided to show my (quite big) list of favorite drarry fics. there are 46 in total, but i’ve listed 10 down below. the first three are my absolute favorites but the rest are equally as good

most of my notes are fresh from when i wrote them post-reading. i’ve changed some, seeming less like a crazy unstable bitch, but fuck these were all emotional as fuck. enjoy

ps: i dont really know how to tag people i dont follow. i cant try and tag the authors later. soz!!

pps: most of these i read when i was really into a bottom!draco phase, so most of them contain that, some are switch tho (as it should be, yikes past me)

1. Everything That Happen is From Now On / ~43K 

After surviving a brutal assault, Draco tries to navigate the tumultuous waters of his mind, and embrace a bit of love and trust in his life. After all, the smallest steps forward can begin to heal the most fractured of souls

okay so before i get in to how beautiful this story is, i wanna say that it does touch on rape quite explicitly. i cried like an idiot reading the entire thing, because draco’s pain is navigated in the most beautiful and realistic way. it touches on a subject very risky for me, very personal, and i still can’t think of a better drarry story. draco’s very draco about it all, and harry is very harry about it all. it’s just perfect, and messy, and tender, and sad. i’ve reread it more than any other fic, and it doesn’t disappoint. 

2. Pocket Full of Starlight / ~46K

When Scorpius Malfoy and Jamie Potter meet at Quidditch camp, they take an instant dislike to each other. Then they discover their lives are more connected than they could possibly imagine.

ah yes. the magic of kid fics. the TASTE

parent trap au. i read this one recently, like 3 months back, and absolutely fell in love with everything about it, partially because the parent trap is legit one of my top 10 favorite movies of all time. its just. the essence, the IDEA, is soooo mf beautiful. i cant get enough of reading when harry or draco finally meet the other twin, or how they cant stop loving each other even after 11 years. my heart clenched throughout the whole thing. 

3. Temptations on the Warfront / ~180K

Draco Malfoy is forced into hiding with the Golden Trio and dragged into their search for horcruxes. What ensues is a journey of redemption, unexpected friendships and an unwanted, turbulent romance with Harry Potter. Warnings for swearing, sexual content, and dark themes. 

this was the first drarry fic ive ever read, and before this mf i HATEDDD this pairing. so you can imagine how much it took to convince me otherwise, bc i was 100% scorbus before this.

to be fair, horcrux hunting with draco involved is, possibly, my favorite trope ever. its unique. theres tension, both sexual and life threatening. in some ways it romanticizes the war, but fuck it it aint a real war. 

slowest of burns. amazing. life changing. long as hell. nothing else to be said except read it right now i demand it.

4. Clouding the Senses / ~58K

As everyone returns to Hogwarts for a final eighth year, some people are coping better with the aftermath of the war than others. After encountering a very drunk Draco Malfoy one night, Harry realises that maybe those that lost loved ones aren’t the only ones trying to escape the war. Blaise Zabini seems to think Harry can help Malfoy, that the Slytherin might actually listen to him. Harry is not so sure. Dependence is a tricky thing, and one addiction can quickly shift to another.

everyone that reads drarry loves 8th year fics, but this ones just kinda different from all those normal (yet entertaining) ones. draco’s an alcoholic in this, and one night harry tries to help him and whoops, one thing leads to the other and they start having casual sex. its really, really amazing how both draco and harry navigate the addiction, i really cant say it has any flaws. 

i know the author got a lot of hate on their fics and thats why they took them down, but they’re truly one of the best drarry authors out there. i’ve reread this a couple of times, and the tenderness, the love and confusion is all very on character. a+

5. Restraint / ~153K

Someone casts the Imperius curse on Draco Malfoy, and whatever the instructions may be, Harry finds himself an unwilling target. The encounter leaves him torn between pleasure and revulsion. As they fight in the aftermath, a tense game begins. Harry fights to convince Malfoy, and himself, that he was not affected by that initial encounter, or any of those following it.

Faced with a series of escalating encounters, Harry must come to terms with desiring things he never thought he could, things he wishes he didn’t respond to. They each use signs of arousal as weapons against each other in a mad struggle to finally shame the other into backing down for good. 

But it’s only after the game is over that Harry starts to understand.

this is by the same author of clouding the senses, and i read this just this week. at first, it’s shocking, because it plays around with consent in a very unsettling way. when communication comes in, and its starts getting healthier, you can really understand where the author found the idea of playing with consent. it is, in my opinion, 100% characteristic of how they would behave post-war, with that grief and confusion. it’s also dom/sub in some parts, and that’s mf hot. 

it also has my favorite tropes in it, but it’s a spoiler to say which one. i’ll probably mention the trope in the list along with a bunch others, but when u finish reading you’ll know which one ;)

6. Humbug / ~30K

Draco has been taking his casual relationship with Harry for granted. Visits from four key ghosts the night before Christmas just might shake up his priorities in life.

(felt like it was valid to just paste what i wrote in my notes app after reading this)

(FUCKKKKKK HOW TO EVEN START?!!!?? just a fucking bonus, draco is THE best bottom o ever exist i love my bottom son so much. this story isnt only amazing it’s excruciatingly painful to read, harry and draco have been sleeping together but harry is completely in love with him. draco doesnt see how much harry cares for him or how much hes hurting harry by treating their fling like its just that, a FLING. with that, draco is haunted by three ghosts. one of the past, the present and the future, AND THEY SET THAT IDIOT STRAIGHTTTT 1800000/10. the gays DO KEEP MF WINNING!!!

7. in your arms, rests my world / ~24K

Harry presses his mouth to Malfoy's forehead; he wants to tell him that he’ll never leave, that he wouldn’t dream of it.

“You make me feel safe, Potter” Malfoy whispers. “You keep me safe.”

the friends with benefits trope doesnt ever disappoint, top 5 tropes fr, especially if its also 8th year. harry and draco get into their little thing, but of course nothing ever is simple between them. by the preview, you can clearly see how much draco likes harry (also another 10/10 trope, the ‘i’ve been in love with harry potter since i was 11′ one). my only tiny issue with this is that harry fucks it up just a tad, but it of course adds up to the drama of it all, which i absolutely love.

noting it also touches on non-con/rape and, and all in all, is extremely angsty. one i was tense from beginning to end. but i am gonna say it ends amazingly and v happily.

8. Playing the Hero / ~29K

Nobody kissed me like Harry did. He kissed like he flew; he kissed like he duelled - with his whole being, not caring about anything else. I had never felt as vulnerable as I did when he kissed me, seizing all and any control I had over myself. But when Harry kissed me, I felt free...

so the thing about angst is that it ignites that mf feeling side u that even tho it hurts you cannot get enough of. this fic was EVERYTHINGGG. it made cry and laugh and smile. also another trope i absolutely adore is them breaking up and not being 100% ok with that, bc ding ding!! YALL STILL LOVE EACH OTHER!! 

i cant describe how i felt, honestly. i would just paste my notes (i wont bc spoilers) but it looks like i went thru sum shit. deadass

9. fine i’ll hold my breath / till i forget it’s complicated  / ~ 15K with the two parts

Harry and Draco become friends with benefits, and Harry thinks it's more complicated than it actually is.

u know, fluff is a drug. i dont know if its beucase 90% of drarry fics are about angsty get-togethers, but i had butterflies in my stomach when i read this. its adorable. draco is so clearly in love, he jusT SMILES A LOT I CANTTT. 

its cute. i love it to death. have some fluff before starting your day.

10. Un Noël très parisien / ~14K

When Draco crossed paths with Auror Potter at a political function in Paris, he was not expecting their former animosity to change into something rather more intriguing. But he could be certain their casual flirtation would not last more than the night, couldn't he?

look. i know i named a lot of my favorite tropes here, but i cant end this without mentioning how much single dad draco affects me. i love scorpius and how much he changes draco in every fic he appears. i love parent draco and i shant be silent about it (especially when scorpius is legit just a year old in this. i died)

as it states, harry and draco have a one night stand but draco thinks thats it, that it was all he was ever gonna have. he’s wrong of course, and the path it takes, with both scorpius and harry there, just melted my mf heart.

well kids that’s all i have for now. imma work on a part two with 10 other fics i really love!1

#drarry #drarry fic #drarry fanfiction #draco malfoy #harry potter #gay #mlm #fanfiction #scorpius malfoy #albus potter #lgbtq fanfiction

[freckliephil]

is it ok to not be able to get rid of a small fear of dnp revealing they’re single/dating other people soon. like i /want/ to be positive but i’ve been rooting for them for so long that i’ll probably just be a little heartbroken if they’re not together anymore. i know people don’t like breakup discourse and i don’t want to fuel that, just want to talk about the one fear i can’t get rid of even though i’m trying not to be too emotionally invested.

i get the fear, i really do. its kinda like how dan mentioned in his video: people get invested in the story of their lives, but at the end of the day they're real people. they could metaphorically pull the rug from under us any day, and then this whole thing falls apart and we're left with a miserable toxic fandom and a bad taste in our mouth. ive been there. when 1d split, when glee started turning into a shitshow, when supernatural got renewed for an 8th season, ect ect. it sucks, its a bad feeling to lose something you really had stake in, especially when it comes as a shock.

the thing is, fear is one thing. fear will be there any time you're in fandom bc it's something you can't control and its a community a lot of people count on, so the thought that that could dissapear is scary. but this fear can't be the lens you observe from, and especially with dan and phil, because they haven't given us any reason to be afraid of them.

i was talking about this with @freckliedan -- a couple months ago, den and i were talking about how the way they've been acting for the past year has been leading up to something big (go back and watch the christmas liveshow that came right before hiatus, they gave us SO many hints). and now think about how toxic fandom got between these last few months, and how everyone was losing trust for no reason (dan kept saying he was coming back, they NEVER implied the gaming channel was done, they've repeatedly said that they love working together and nothing was changing in a bad way. they've been preparing us for this coming out for a whole year). people got mad, sad, afraid, and ripped each other apart for even dreaming a positive outcome such as the one they just gave us. i remember bc i was one of the people saying "hey occam's razor- maybe they're coming out?" and people genuinely ran me off tumblr for even saying that.

they came out together, two weeks apart. dan called phil his soulmate. the part in basically i'm gay where he talks about phil is genuinely one of the most romantic and soft things i've ever heard. they're going to pride and vidcon and vegas together, they've both been so supportive over the other's work, and they've taken every single step together in this process. do yourself a favor and go back and watch any video from 2018 and tell me it doesn't watch the same as, say, a jenna and julien vid, or any other youtube couple. they're together, they're happy, and they don't need to kiss on screen or explicitly tell us every detail of their relationship for us to trust them. the most obvious answer is that they're both gay and have been together the whole time. dan basically told us that with his words (if you don't overanalyze everything out of fear), and they've been telling us with their actions for years. they always choose each other. they're together in everything. they're partners.

and to just give u some comfort, think about the dan and phil we just met in "basically im gay" and "coming out to you", and think about the dan and phil we've known for years. when have they ever, ever, ever pulled the rug out from under us in a bad way? dan and phil going separate ways or saying they're not together, after literally all this, would be the biggest shock in the world to me, which is why i know its probably not going to happen. they love us, like, a lot, and this isn't a drama tv show where breakups and stuff like that are just fun little character development opportunities. they know we care about them and look up to their relationship, and if that wasn't something they were going to highlight in their content anymore, they wouldn't be sneaky about it. they wouldn't make promises like bringing back the gaming channel or yearly mukbangs or continuing baking vids if they didn't plan to. they've always been so very good to us, and i highly doubt that they both went through all the work of coming out to millions of people on the internet just so that they can stop doing that.

#u gotta trust them #thats my take #asks #anon