#bc i told them abt it months ago

[angelsdean]

i am like. at my limit with interacting w/ ppl bc *gestures vaguely* holidays. and now my old boss, who's also a long time family friend, is texting me out of the blue asking what i've been doing? if i'm working? etc and like. i Cannot talk to u rn (this was yesterday) and then i wake up (8AM) to 2 recent missed calls from her like. i cannot talk to you rn!!! i hate ppl who expect you to always be available / able to respond immediately.

#also it's such a long story but. basically she sold the company i used to work for (remotely) months ago #and the new owner was like yes yes i want to keep you here. then. she ghosted me. and i was too neurodivergent abt it to contact her again #and now my old boss is asking what i've been doing (very sporadic freelance) #and my whole family thinks i'm still working for this family friend bc if i told them i wasn't i'd be a whole awful thing for me #and i've been LOOKING for other things but like. it has to be remote for reasons and it's been hard #but anyways now i'm paranoid this family friend is gonna reach out to my MOM bc i haven't answered her yet (it's been less than 24 hrs) #and if my mom finds out any of this... HELL ON EARTH for me. #and i'm so fucking tired. like i'm 28 fucking yrs old and still treated like a child bc i live at home like ?? believe me i'd love to not #this isn't by choice #anyways. VENT. sorry. i'm just. very close to become a rage monster in a meltdown so. tumblr vent to Cope lmao #delete later

[etchedstars]

sorry idk i just think that if you complain abt your partner being the only person who cares about you but then block out every single one of your friends after you grow tired of them then maybe you have some self growth to do

#not to vague post but like. come on lmao #youre not a magnet for shitty ppl man maybe youre just a shitty person #and like admittedly i dont think this person was but come on if you dont have anyone consistent in your life bc YOU shut all of them out #youre doing something wrong. sorry. #ok thats my only ventpost this month. i feel like i have a right to pettiness for not vagueposting three months ago #the overdue asteroid strikes again #i hope the person this is abt sees this lmao <3 i also hope youre doing better and youve gotten over yourself #frankly i didnt need to see anime characters nor your petty complaints over how bad your life is but i did! i put up it with it bc i though #we were friends! but at the same time if you want ppl to care about you youre sure as fuck making it hard to 😭😭 hows anyone gonna care abt #you if you block them once youre tired of them or if they do one thing that offends you #if youre looking for perfect friends then like dont. the point of having friends is loving them. despite despite despite. #hypocritical as fuck lmfao. i thought huh maybe i should block you after you told me you were so jealous of me you couldnt read my writing #you make it so fucking hard for anyone to care about you and im sure you know that bc its all you post about #well. i cared about you. youre fucking awful and i shouldnt have though

[oatbugs]

they r soooo. anyway

#lol um anyway . i kissed them for the first time yesterday but it literally feels like a yr ago but it also feels like today #on a bridge at night against a cityscape. river looked like a painting...etc it was nice . and then. yh theres a lot to talk abt #so i dont wanna say it all rn bc im tired but yeah. they r . sooo. pretty cool etc etc. whatever im fine im just . angry that i dont get to #see them that often bc they live in a diff city etc. also took them to a spot which usually is like . relatively busy bc london is busy all #the time but it was cold and it was at night so there were like 0 people there. the view was so good but other things were better #also kissing smn w a vertical labret is actually just >>> #lol en ee way i miss them #im soo overwhelmed w life rn and theyre not rly helping but like. in a good way #i told my friend to lmk if he notices that im becomjng too engaged w romance to the point where im neglecting academics #and he immidiately said it. like according to him im thinking abt her too much when i should be thinkint abt philosophy too much #which is like. idk if that's true bc ik he has a rly skewed perspective bf he kind of swore off datint #etc but at the same time . wbat if hes right. omg. but also let me have this Moment #that was last week when i was forcefully taken to manchester by a university society . like we hadnt even kissed yet #i fell asleep bc ive been so exhausted and when i woke up i realised they briefly appeared in a dream i had #and then i started tearing up out of Fear bc like . whenever ive lost smn i loved the dreams were the worst #like . good dreams. were horrible. and now its like what if this turns out horrible ? but i dont wanna self sabotage bc i rly rly rly like #them . i gave them a rose and on the train home i could stop staring at their hands holding the rose #and i know theyve liked me for months and i know theyve been waiting for months but somehow its still like #what if it just fades. whatever happens happens ig. i took them a leaf compressed in a poetry book from #a book shop we found on our second date tgth. they gave me a necklace w a small vial and a tiny flower inside #its so pretty. thinking abt the way they put it on me + when they wrapped their arms around me when i was cooking for them etc etc #im FINE its FINE its OKAY . whatever !!!!! #[chroma blue]

[kashmirichaiwithmehr]

.

#yall #these random fam friends came over to our house a week ago or smthg #and even the last time i went over to their house a few months ago the aunty commented on how much weight i lost #and this time she said it again but like emphasized it if that makes sense #and i was like....ya........ #and her dad was visiting which is why we invited them over bc we dont rly see him often #well my mom picked me up from work today and randomly decided to tell me that the auntys dad had someone in mind for me rishta wise #AND NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE #THE STARING #THE COMMENTS ABT WEIGHT #THEY USUALLY DON'T GAF ABT ME #but i told my mom hell no clwfjqclqc #thankfully my fam also didnt wanna entertain it either bc theyre not on the same halal-haram ratio as us if that makes sense #theyre a lil too religious for my fam #and on top of that im not rly religious 💀 soooo ya no sry #my mom just wantsd to let me know but im glad bc i stg she just hides these things and then tells me at the most random times #rishta tings #desi girl #mehrtalks

[rat-tomago]

i think i would rather eat glass garnished with rat poison than go 2 work 2day

#marcel.txt #vent #im so fucking tired of EVRRYTHING!!! #i hate my managers so so much theyre fucking useless #i as a part time lowly 'dining assistant' know more abt both my kitchens and tangibly do more 2 keep them running smoothly #i literally have two managers and yet neither of them have ever observed a SINGLE meal service #its been nearly two fucking months since they became our managers #and the lack of communication is honestly fucking laughable #i told them that one of the dishwashers is consistently not getting up 2 minimum temps like TWO WEEKS AGO #guess what still hasnt been fixed. #we had a new girl start recently and on saturday i asked if i would see her tmrw #and shes like idk #so im like do u not know the next time u work??? #and she just goes 'no' LIKE REALLY????? #and i rly do not think its her fault at all bc i trained her so i know shes not like an airhead or smth #oh my god it all infuriates me so much #and then the cherry on top of my shit sundae hoo boy! #suddenly now the mondays after my weekends (where i already work all alone) i ALSO work alone #i never get more than a day or two off at a time #but god fucking forbid they schedule either of the other two kitchen ppl after they just had a whole fucking weekend off #oh and both of them work ONE day every other weekend #whereas i always work both days lol #oh my god and one of them constantly bitches abt the times she has 2 work alone it makes me fucking rabid #maybe u get out an hour late bc u dont start cleaning the kitchen until the dining room is empty #maybe if u shut the fuck up 4 like even just 10 mins. u would surprise urself w how much u can get done #everyone else has figured out how 2 get out of work on-time when they work alone #and rly the secret is just 'do ur work instead of literally standing still talking until the last hour of ur shift' #AUUGHFHFJFJ ok i think im finally doen. i hate my life. anyways.

[umbrakinetix]

Mentioning that my mother is an autistic alcoholic is a really great litmus test for who I want to be around, tbh. Because some people will be like “oh ok sounds complicated but that’s life!” & some people will go on a tirade about how addicts are horrible people who need to stop making excuses and insinuate she’s making up the autism

#based on a real life interaction i had like a month ago that still bothers me #with someone i had just met! who had also just told me how their ex-roommates were getting a RO on them! #bc they went off their meds & got violent but it was the roommates fault for not trusting them #like HELLO?? and you are going to GO ON A TIRADE AGAINST MY MOMMY OVER A FUNNY STORY ABT HER BEING AUTISTIC WITH A DRINKING PROBLEM??? #YOU DONT KNOW HER!!!!! only I get to judge her!!!! #anyways love my weird problematic mother & hope i do not cross paths with this friend of a friend again #stoned butterflies

[little-cereal-draws]

i can't wait until i can get my own apartment :)

#i spent five hours cleaning the entire house today rip me #swept the whole house cleaned the mirror sink toilet shower did laundry (my own but there were some communal items too) and took out trash #i also ordered a rug/refills on the soap and air freshener/a tension rod for our towels/a couch cover/and decrotive pillows bc they did not #my three other roommates (who were all home the entire time!) just stayed in their rooms #i cleaned for four hours alone the first time two weeks ago too #it had been over a month and we were living in filth so i just did it all but this time... #they came out a couple times to get food or use the bathroom and then just went back in #they knew what i was doing! #it's also a bit on me bc i never told them i needed help (and i'm sure they wouldve said yes if i asked) but they never offered it either #our dynamic is just ignore each other we don't communicate much #and as much as this sucks i'm not abt to start talking to them now lol #i know gender norms are changing but they're all cis boys from the south so i'm wondering if no one ever taught them how to clean a house #or maybe since they're all cis boys they're all used to living in filth and it's me who needs to readjust my levels of cleanliness #anyway when i get my own apartment i'll still doing all the cleaning but i'll only be doing it for one person instead of four :)

[enuui]

long thoughts abt watcher

its so weird to me that people are being like ‘you aren’t entitled to free content’ about the watcher situation bc that’s not the actual problem here. artists deserve to be fairly paid, but the watcher situation reveals a truly bizarre level of business incompetence and a lack of market research.

they actively cultivated a relatively young audience, actively claimed to be ‘eat the rich’ style liberals, then turned over and told that audience that they need to pay $6/month. which again, fine! dropout did it and survived, but dropout had so much more backing it up, went about the transition slowly, and on top of that, their audience was older and therefore had more spending money available.

watcher has none of that. it would be one thing if they had started marketing to an older audience months ago, or changed the style of their content to match the heavy production costs. but as it stands, they built their career off of relatively simple videos with a lower budget, gained a specific type of audience from those videos, then expected that audience to pivot with them when watcher realized they wanted to make a different type of (more expensive, more produced) content.

it can’t work that way. the audience is not acting entitled right now for feeling a shock, bc the audience became loyal to watcher due to a desire for a certain kind of content (specifically the dynamic between shane and ryan).

and if watcher wants to make different content and be paid for it on a more regular basis, that is also okay! but they severely miscalculated their existing audience, and definitely misunderstood how much their current audience wants to watch the style of videos they want to make.

also, imo, ryan and shane have admitted that they dislike the admin side of running a business. i think they truly thrived as regular content creators and not as business managers, and so they struggled to figure out how to run their company and ultimately handed over the reins to steven to wash their hands of it all and go back to making the content they want. and thats also fine, some people are not built for business and work better as individual contributors.

but ryan and shane and steven also seem to have a view that their simple content is almost… beneath them? they talk a lot abt challenging themselves to put out well produced content that their cultivated audience clearly doesn’t really care about. its a mismatch between watcher’s desires for the future and the audience they built in the past that ultimately led to this mess.

they had two options: easier option to make the type of low-budget content their audience has been proven to enjoy, or put in the work to build up an expanded audience so that they could fund the content they wanted to make, put in the work to do a longer, more well thought out transition, put in the work to make connections and figure out how to manage their revenue streams.

and instead they decided to take a shortcut and brute force their existing audience to fund their dreams, and in the process shooting themselves in the foot by alienating their audience. i just can’t comprehend how they reached this conclusion at all.

#watcher #ryan bergara #shane madej #steven lim #i feel like i’ve repeated myself a few time in this but i can’t be bothered to edit my freehand thoughts its like 6am rn

[terpia]

Sundays can be so fucking awful.

#personal #whining #i know it's an inane thing to say but i wish i could just not be anxious #do you ever have the thing where your anxiety builds up to the point where it almost becomes completely divorced from its cause and becomes #just a general feeling of panic and unwellness? or is it just a me thing? #i'm stressed because of work #did i ever mention that i'm a fundraiser for a charity on here i can't remember #well that's my role and generally speaking i really enjoy it. i enjoy the individual tasks involved in it and its what i wanted to do #but the wall that i'm increasingly hitting with it is that i'm not sure if i can do it #i'm a slow worker and the combo of workload + the sheer amount of deadlines make it very stressful at times. and i'm an anxious person #i'm anxious because there is a friday deadline for 3 reports (short but still) that i have been told about weeks ago and feel like i #should have finished by now (they're mostly quick work but i barely started) #i'm anxious bc there are some big funding opps i fear we will miss out on solely due to me not looking into them soon enough for us to appl #*apply #i'm (stupidly) anxious bc i'm about to be promoted from an intern to a full coordinator and i don't feel good enough for it #just this week i showed my ass multiple times and on at least one occassion causing even more work for my already v busy boss #(a part of me is worried he doesn't think i should be promoted either but bc the process for it already started and he told me abt it #2 months ago (when i still had promise) he just feels resigned to do it) #i know that most of this is just in my head #but unfortunately i live in my head which makes it hard for me to distance myself from these thoughts #this anxiety also leads to a larger existential crisis of everything i want to do in life is stressful and i don't know what to do with it #i want to have a job that i'm passionate about but that also doesn't make me unhappy #and as much as i love fundraising i'm beginning to question whether i can do it long-term without harming my mental health #uuuuuugh #anyway this was a way too personal rant about my job related worries #i'd say that this post could have been a journal entry but i already journaled abt and it didn't help that much #i needed that sense of venting TO someone #and so it fell on sharing with you guys

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for getting a boyfriend and not immediately telling my best friend?

I (18 ftm) started dating this guy (18 m) about a month ago. my best friend (17 nb) and i became friends when we were 11. when i was 14 i moved away to a different state, and we still stayed in contact. my best friend is aroace and has expressed that they want to live with me when we finish college, and has also said that i am the platonic love of their life. up until meeting my boyfriend i never said i felt the same way, but i didn't outright say i didn't if that makes sense? i just kinda let them say that stuff and would say thanks and then change the subject. also because we live in different states we've kinda drifted apart and because sometimes they're pretty mean about my interests i dont share a lot with them anymore, but we're still pretty close. anywayyy the reason i didn't tell them abt my bf is basically any new friend or honestly not even friend just like someone i talk about a lot they will message for some reason? like maybe they just wanna make friends, but it always come across as a little bit weird. im cool with it bc tf am i supposed to do, but it is a little bit annoying. anyway for those reasons when i got a bf i didn't tell them immediately. i didn't want to have to deal with them messaging him after like a week of us dating and i kinda just wanted to spend time with him without them getting involved, because they've done that with a lot of my friendships in the past. i also didn't tell them immediately bc as previously mentioned they said im the platonic love of their life and i just wanted to enjoy being with my bf for a bit without having to deal with that can of worms. probably selfish but yeah. anyway after about 3 weeks of dating i told them about him, and they got really pissed off. they said that me not immediately telling them showed i didn't trust them and also is going against our agreement to stay together forever which like i wasn't aware that was an agreement we had but ok. anyway yeah they haven't spoken to me in like a week and are ignoring all my texts. aita?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[isa-ghost]

phil and cellbit hcs?

VESPER YOUR MIND...

qPhil headcanons masterlist

When Phil needs answers on something, he goes straight to Cellbit (at least pre-Purgatory, he's switched to Bagi over the months bc they've gotten much closer).

Another reason he's so pissed abt the reset is bc the Feds took them the fuck away from The Order, which had all of Cellbit's tools for figuring out the weird new shit they encounter on QI

ANOTHER reason Phil hates the reset is bc there's not much weird shit going on over here? It's just?? Capitalism?? There's nothing to take pictures of for Cellbit. And he really misses dropping an entire goldmine of new pictures for theorizing on Cellbit and watching how excited he gets about it :(

See, Phil and Cellbit were close prior to Purgatory; look at the Order, Phil picking his domain (idr their formal names), etc. But Purgatory did.. something. I mean, it did something to all of Bolas, but something extra to these two's friendship. The leader role, the way Cellbit fell into a sort-of second in command & substitute when Phil wasn't around, Phil (was meant to be) rescuing Cellbit & Baghs. It was teamwork and brothers in arms shit to a degree they'd previously not reached. It's permanently intensified their bond and trust in each other. Which I can't wait to see unfold if Cellbit keeps getting worse. >:D

It's a 50/50 if Phil is concerned about Cellbit's (re)rising murderous tendencies and potentially "resurfacing" cannibal habits or if he's just like "Haha, friend is stabby, lookit him go. :)"

I have a hot take. Roier to Etoiles in Purgatory is Cellbit to Phil. Loyal attack dog more than happy to create bloodshed for their equally scary leader. The authority aspect has kinda gone away post-Purgatory but Cellbit will still kill a man if Phil says do it. Phil wouldn't ask that of him if he didn't have a good reason.

Phil is super awed and inspired by Cellbit's building skills. Idiot will be like "damn, wish I could build like that" as if he can't. Bitch you just refuse to!!! (I want these two to build something big and sick together so bad)

I don't know how things would've played out if Cellbit was present for EK possession things but I know it would've been fucked up and intense. And I can't explore it in AMFMN because Cellbit & Baghera are still missing in it. 😔

That said, Cellbit gets told Phil was possessed by some old piece of shit he used to know and is immediately like "Phil I will fight god for you, I don't give a FUCK"

Phil absolutely loves watching Richas take on more and more of Cellbit's unhinged traits. He's a bit worried he's gonna become a little ball of murder too, but Richas has like half the fucking island as parents, he'll be fiiiiiine.

I don't remember if qPhil knows about the Purgatory 2 murder spree stuff but I like to think he doesn't yet because boy would his reaction be spicy :) If he does know and I've forgotten, he 100% didn't entirely process just How fucked it was.

As close as they've become and as,, kinda chill? Phil has been about the whole murder thing?? He's still deeply worried about Cellbit in other ways post-Purgatory. Dude's seemed withdrawn, he can't remember the last time he saw him with Roier, and just overall things have been different to a degree Phil is sure isn't normal or a slow bounce-back period. But every time he has a free moment to check in, Cellbit's never around.

Actually, as Cellbit gets worse, I think Phil will go from chill with how things have been worsening to Oh Fuck because he's gonna see a lot of his Antarctic self in him. It's not like Phil isn't proud of that era or anything, but. Mentally and emotionally? Being cold and merciless like that takes a toll. One Cellbit shouldn't subject himself to.

Phil cannot for the life of him Not laugh whenever Pac brings up the whole. Leg eating thing. Pac is so out of pocket about it nowadays bc it happened so long ago and Phil gets whiplash from the casual jokes every time. I think if Cellbit made jokes about it Phil would keel over.

Just out of spite and for the sake of clarity: Phil is not Cellbit's fucking parental figure. Cellbit is not his son. They are grown ass men. They are friends. Colleagues. Confidants if we wanna stretch things a bit. There is nothing familial about their bond.

#qsmp #qsmp philza #philza #q!philza #qsmp cellbit #cellbit #q!cellbit #qsmp archivists

[frenchfrywrites]

I just saw your Twst Mommy headcanons (they were really good! I really like them!! Omg Sam calling us Mama in public....)

But how about the Obey Me boys with their own Mommy hcs?

Mommy kink + Obey me boys

MINORS DNI

I didn't want these to sound too much like this or this or this orrr thisss so here's.. these

Wants to call you mommy

The thing is… i really truly genuinely think that all of them want to call you mommy.. Therefore these are just the boys who I think wouldn’t like to be called mommy

Mammon you could absolutely get away with calling him mama/mommy in a domestic sense, however.. Hes soo subby that the moment you assign any dominance with the title, he gets turned off. That’s why I think he likes calling you mommy, because youre the one in charge. That and its hot. 

Levi come onnn you knew levi was gonna be here.. He looooves calling you mommy and hes sooo cute and sexy about it !!! I just know it’d fall from his lips in a high pitched whine and oooh it would just drive just abt anyone crazy!!!!

Satan Months ago I probably would have told you that I think satan would like to be called mommy but.. I can only think of him as hard sub these days.. Therefore he is kitty baby boy only :) he is gratuitous with how often he calls you mommy. It slips out in public sometimes and not intentionally

Belphie He’s such a brat he could never be mommy. Unless! he’s knocked the fuck up. He will call you mommy but at first he does it playfully/jokingly I think.. And then it’s VERY much not a joke. 

Diavolo so baby boy he can’t mommy!! He loves calling you mommy anyways. It drives him crazy,, the dynamic is so reversed from his usual life it makes him hot and bothered!!

Wants to be called mommy

Lucifer I’ve written too many mommy luci fics to not be completely convinced he’d have a mommy kink. It just fits him and his milf ass. he's so taken with the title hehe.

Asmo He can be mommy 100% !! the title will inspire him to wear more dresses and act like a housewife lmao. He likes to pretend you have kids too (until you finally knock him up.. And then he doesnt need to pretend >:))

Beel Man has such an intense domestic and pregnancy kink that mommy kink goes right along with it. He loves being called mommy if it means you’ll dirty talk to him about getting him pregnant and how you’re going to make him a mommy with so many kids. 

Barbatos he is mother!!!! Idk ive always felt that Barb is mommy.. Maybe bc of his canonical caretaker position? Regardless if you call him mommy he receives the title with pride. It makes him very hot and bothered and blushy >:)

Simeon like barb, maybe the only reason I think simeon would like being called mommy is bc of his caretaker tendencies.. Totally lives up to the title, he’s such a milf. Part of it is the domestic kink tho,, so make sure you make him a real mommy hehe

Solomon I think he genuinely loves being called mommy. It makes him wildly horny and he has no excuse or explanation. If you bring it up first, he’s enthusiastic and shows you how turned on it makes him. If not, he’ll be the one to start referring to himself as mommy.

#sub obey me #cw mommy kink #spice #brainrot #obey-me-headquarters #oh!! i saw ur tags btw.. they made me smile :)) im glad u liked them