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#bc if i use them every time you can recognize them and be less confused lol
chirpsythismorning · 11 months
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Saying gay Mike would be hated by the ga bc that would mean that he used El all those years, is homophobic, just like saying bi-Mike would be hated by the ga bc that would mean he could have just stayed with El if he is also attracted to girls, is biphobic.
Bylers using either of these as the basis for why their interpretation is most likely to play out in canon, just makes me cringe bc why are we even wasting time giving validation to homophobia/biphobia as having the last word for how the show has to play out?? Is that what it all comes down to then? Appeasing bigots??
Gays aren’t evil or trying to intentionally hurt others, least of all gay kids that are figuring out their sexuality. Let’s not act like being gay wasn’t seen as being broken or needing to to be fixed, meaning that going along with what society views as normal, was and still is seen as the only option for queer people in general. And I say queer people in general bc you don’t necessarily have to even be gay to experience questioning your sexuality and feeling like you have to do things because everyone else is. Arguably we all go through that! But especially gays in the 80’s bc for a lot of people back then, it was a matter of blending in to survive (for many it still is).
Bisexuals aren’t evil or trying to intentionally hurt others for falling out of love, losing feelings, or just merely not being attracted to/compatible with someone of the opposite sex. Straight people are capable of recognizing that they aren’t attracted to or compatible with every person they meet of the opposite sex. Does any of that make them less straight? No. So why is it so hard to understand it’s the same way for bisexuals and even queer people in general? Nobody, bisexual or otherwise should have to stay in relationships with someone they no longer have romantic feelings for, just bc they’re attracted to them or even were just confused and thought they were but it ended up not being enough?? Attraction is important, yes, but feelings are arguably even more so (especially when you have something else to compare it to, causing the dilemma in the first place). I mean look at Stancy/Jancy? Is Nancy viewed as problematic for being attracted to Steve and having deep feelings/being attracted to Jonathan, and having conflicting feelings about that? No! And so why should it be problematic for Mike?
The reality is, homophobes are going to hate Mike if he comes out as queer, regardless of whether he is revealed to be gay, bi or unlabeled.
This is why basing Mike’s sexuality on the backlash of bigoted audiences’ is a moot point to me.
I mean, as it is, most of the general audience already hates Mike as a result of his behavior in s3-4, and this is straight Mike we’re talking about! I’m obviously not referring to milkvans or Redditors, bc they only make up a minority of hardcore fans who hate byler and will defend Mike to the point of demonizing El. I’m talking about viewers that have seen the show once through each time a new season releases and then move on afterwards without being in online spaces. That is the majority. The majority of the general audience, homophobic or otherwise, does not like Mike anyways at this point. So, who the hell cares what they think about queer Mike in the end??? They’re already anticipating going into s5 and continuing to dislike him, so the argument that the show can’t do this or that bc those same people won’t like him?… That ship has already sailed.
If anything I could see the non-homophobic majority accepting queer Mike, regardless of what label he ends up identifying with, bc then at least it will finally give them some clarity about where that resentment they had for him was coming from, ie misunderstanding him completely and now finally getting some answers.
At the end of the day, bigots will do what they do best. They’ll make up any reason they can think of for why queer Mike is wrong. And so why should we base our interpretation of things on what will be more palatable to those that the show was never intended for in the first place?
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grendelsmilf · 2 years
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what do you think anne, marcy, sasha and sprig would be like on tumblr
great question adorable question
anne’s blog is basically just her bedroom but more of it. thai things, lesbian things, her favorite music/artists (a lot of kpop), her favorite shows (she reblogs gifsets of suspicion island with tags that are way too fucking long considering the writers themselves definitely did not put that much thought into the show), her favorite athletes (mostly just serena), her favorite movies (ranging from terrible cheesy romcoms to indie cult classics), cute cat pictures, calming aesthetics, fun fashion looks, and posts about how much you should love & cherish your friends. she doesn’t make that many original posts, but her tags are so sweet & funny that she gets a lot of asks anyway. once she disappears her mutuals just assume that she found a steady gf & stopped using tumblr, so they’re all like “aw i miss her but good for her i guess :(“ if only they knew...
(she comes back with little fanfare, just reblogging her usual kinds of posts again, and when she gets asks inquiring about her whereabouts she's just like "oh i was in greenland for five months. there was no wifi lol." she posts a lot more animals (besides cats), especially frogs and bugs this time around, but nobody questions it because. it's tumblr. everybody loves frogs now.)
marcy’s blog is actually rly popular because she is constantly making lengthy original posts about such a wide variety of topics that there’s something there for everyone. there’s a lot of rpg & fantasy & video game stuff, but also a lot of engagement with non-fiction, whether it be history, science, math, or music, and since she’s clearly so knowledgeable about so many things, no one would guess that she’s actually only 13 and not like, a grad student. she has one of those usernames that is long & kinda cheesy but she can’t change it now bc it’s, like, her brand, and people are constantly referring to her by the first word of her url as if that is her name. sometimes she shares her art or music she's working on too, and even though it’s not super polished or anything, it always gets a lot of notes just bc she has so many followers. when she suddenly drops off the face of the earth, her followers won’t stop sending her asks to check if she’s okay, and then a bunch of her other followers get super defensive and are like “she’s probably just focusing on writing her dissertation right now and doesn’t have time for hobbies. leave her alone!!!”
(she's still on tumblr as an adult, but mostly uses it to answer asks every once in a while and promote the new chapters of her webcomic, which has a huge following both from longtime followers of her blog and from new fans who just recognize the inherent awesomeness of it. she now posts her other art, bonus panels from her comic and also some miscellaneous stuff, on her patreon though, so her tumblr is mostly an archive of her teenage self. she doesn't have it in her to be embarrassed though. after all, she was a really smart kid.)
sasha’s blog is so confusing bc half of it is like tender lesbian pics and half of it is like blood & gore & weapons. she also just makes a bunch of personal vent posts that make no sense, and she loves those posts where the op is basically larping as like, an evil mad scientist. her blog is a fucking mess and she has basically no followers because she just uses tumblr as like an anonymous diary and for once doesn’t actually care about how she’s perceived. sasha has seen anne & marcy’s blogs before, but she pretends that she doesn’t really know what tumblr is around them simply because she refuses to let anyone know, even (especially) her closest friends, about this secret abomination.
(the few followers that she does have can steadily track her mental health improving over the years, and they're quietly rooting for her as she posts less and less, even if they do miss her funny textposts about swords and girlbossing. by the time she's 18 the only social media she uses is bandcamp. good for her.)
sprig is 10 and also new to how the internet works in general so when he makes a tumblr after seeing anne scrolling thru it on her phone he has absolutely no idea how to use it and mostly just posts original drawings he does of his friends back in wartwood. everyone thinks these frogs are ocs of his, and don’t really understand why he keeps referring to the little yellow frog character named ivy as his “girlfriend.” he thinks he is just sharing his culture with the good people of the internet. everyone assumes that he’s nonbinary because of his name, but he’s like “no im just a little frog boy!!” which of course only reaffirms to these people that he is like, a white transmasc in his 20s. anne gets worried that he’s gonna expose himself, but then she sees that he only has like 50 followers and she’s like actually ykw i think we’re fine
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icharchivist · 10 months
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gosh, mentioning your friend who got bowled over by act 2 autumn must’ve been foreshadowing, because I, who foolishly was like, oh I don’t think I’ll relate to azami that much he’s very different from me but it’ll be fun to see autumn, cried twice while going thru the back half of this story. jeez. I’ll may have to be a bit less chronological than usual for the sake of keeping all of that stuff later.
zombie run night was rly great! more like zombie fun night amirite. I’m sorry I make bad jokes. banri getting azami to be a zombie as well was so nice like. again he’s being a good leader.
tenma being scared of zombies makes sense obviously. I’m with him. not zombies but when I was staying with a relative a while back I found a lizard the length of my hand in the bathroom and then refused to use that bathroom for the rest of my stay.
I really liked the eyeball necklace detail—it made the event feel real and also considerate? the moment yuki just went … at tenma I Knew he had planted the necklace on him tho. he’s so funny for that. seeing that and being like yeah tenma you’re so right. you don’t need to participate. cant believe mankai didn’t recognize banri when he caught them. azami must have some stellar makeup skills
azami going after sakyo and haunting him abt his budget lifestyle was sooo funny. like I was bracing for something slightly charged to happen but it was just funny. and he had a good time!! I’m glad. I liked that banri was like. still encouraging to azami even tho his acting motives aren’t the purest lol. I mean to be fair he has no room to talk there but it’s also just nice to like. meet him where he’s at. like we see azami doesn’t really get The Feeling until closing night but. things take time.
azami and omis whole thing was. so good. like the way he won’t even like accept a bandaid is so. azami… I loved the way they resolved it? first seeing omi juza and tsuzuru talking in uni was cool. but then kumon approaching azami was like. so nice. again the way that they like talk and kumon’s like I miss summer! and u can Hear the smile in azamis voice when he’s like come on summer literally just ended!
but him being awkward around omi bc he’s not sure what a mother should be like… gosh. like the way he describes the whole thing as like. strange and confusing I’m going to vote the wall like. like yeah actually that’s exactly how it feels when someone is kind to you in a way you haven’t yet experienced it makes you want to throw it off immediately bc it’s like whoa whoa hold on. I’m not allowed this kind of thing. anyways just. no wonder he likes kumon so much that guy is like, effusive in his praise and azami probably likes having ppl around who are Nice like that. loved omis portrait. it was so good. and it like. absolutely sucks that he had to grow up that quick. very nice to see nachi again, though. but when kid-omi was like: one day in the future. I’ll take a break for myself :) omi. omi I’m shaking you. have you ever really done that. well ig now that he’s living in mankai he’s letting his family take care of housework and stuff? but like, still.
minor note but when they’re doing a street act it was rly cool to see juza just like seamlessly and confidently advertise the play. he’s come so far…
*cracks knuckles* alright all of that was warmup now it’s time for the BIG STUFF. azami almost got hit by a car!!!! the cg there was like. So Good. like the way sakyo is absolutely Frazzled… yeah. like god I keep thinking abt that cg. its sooo. wow!! i dont think ive seen sakyo look so distressed!!! hes not wearing glasses bc he was so shocked that he ended up breaking his glasses in the rush to get there!! its like. azami look... u have a dad that wishes for your every happiness... and azami is just Sitting There mostly unharmed and looking a little confused like huh… why’s sakyo looking so out of sorts… it’s wonderful. and the way sakyo is like even if it was just a scrape I need to find who did this and hurt them. like godddd and the way he’s like “so I don’t even have the right to worry about you anymore?” I am. Going to cry.
what rly got me tho was like the whole jin-gi-oh cards though bc like first off sakyo remembered ALL of them but also!! also just the way u can hear azami kind of mumble stutter like we-well I bet he doesn’t even remember the card stuff (why would he really care about me…) and then sakyo clearly Does. and it’s just like.
it’s so clear that while sakyo is convinced that he barely has the right to talk to azami bc he betrayed him by chasing after his dream… a lot of what azami is worried about is that sakyo doesn’t care about him anymore. like imagine you’re fourteen and you’ve just learned that the guy you secretly think of as your dad, who’s like the only one that’s supported your dreams, is leaving you to pursue his own. without you. and you get into a huge fight with him about it and storm off. and then a week passes and you don’t hear from him. months pass and you don’t hear from him. whenever he’s around doing ginsenkai stuff you just… don’t really talk to him. and you’re fourteen maybe fifteen so you’re too embarrassed to reach out first. besides if he left that easily maybe this whole thing was just a job to him, huh? maybe he never liked you as much as you liked him. whatever. whatever. it’s fine. like the “I bet he’s having so much fun now” line azami says… it’s so clear he believes like. oh sakyo was slumming it with me and left for greener pastures.
and of course sakyo is sitting there like oh I’ve committed the biggest betrayal ever by not supporting his dreams well enough. he probably hates me and doesn’t want to ever see my face again. and like that’s not helping.
and then you run away from your bio dad because you can’t let go of your own dreams and when you don’t have anywhere to go it turns out that you can actually run to the place sakyo went to. and strangest of all sakyo is letting you stay. like the way he just. the pause he has when sakyo says he’s basically his guardian. the feeling of. sakyo is… admitting that? does he… does he WANT to be my dad (I thought he didn’t want to—)
and now you’re here in a hospital and just saw sakyo was super worried about you and also like. maybe treasures you in the way that you thought he did. sakyo says his story of running away is about a pathetic kid but it’s also like. for azami he just learned that the card thing he did with sakyo and liked so much that he still keeps them carefully is actually a parent-child thing sakyo did with his own mom!!! it’s like. oh my god.
azami talking abt his own experience with buying cards and then his dad trashing them, though… I. hm. I am going to leave the section abt azami’s bio dad alone bc I’m tempted to get mean about it and I kind of want to leave that for later.
so, skipping forward to the actual play… it was so cool to see summer come in for support! and I always love seeing how the chapters extend what we see in the actual play. also the voice acting that’s good too. the one thing I noticed was like. “you remember the boy with brown hair you killed three years ago?” who’s going to tell them that taichis hair is as red as ever. so roy’s hair was never brown. it got kinda brown when he became undead? but before I don’t think it was.
cannot believe those asshole delinquents were the ones who almost hit azami. the title “buff high schooler” is just rly funny to me tho. sakoda chasing after azami and then calling everyone was so good of him. smart choice my guy. love how everyone in autumn (minus taichi who seems a little nervous) is like. it’s fighting time. very cool to see all of natsugumi volunteer to be opening act. was confused by the “I always repay my debts” line but I think it’s for banri acting as stand in for kumon? which is nice bc it’s like. tenma is the one saying this so it rly just gives the idea that like. natsugumi is a team yknow. and later when they do the acting it meshes so well with the actual play? bc like they had a specific point where they were like oh let’s adlib and do some comedy that’s undead related to make sure the play isn’t a bummer. and then here’s natsugumi just doing like those sorts of jokes.
anyways back to azamis kidnapping.
muku: won’t it be bad if they see ur faces?
me: …ah. I have. the faintest idea of where this is going [judo bear nozaki flashes to my head]
THE CG WAS. THE BEST POSSIBLE USE OF A CG EVER ITS SO GOOD. I LOST MY SHIT. THE HOLLOW EYES R KINDA TERRIFYING IN A REALLY FUNNY WAY. TAICHI THIS WAS AN AMAZING IDEA. the guitar / bass guitar (? idk instruments) that rolls in during this scene is amazingggg. it’s just the like instrumental break part of respawn which is. I went and listened to that after finishing boyhood collage and the song is like, sooooo good. much love to it. the rly fast vocal parts made me think of the fast parts of worlds end dancehall. which is like also apocalyptic setting so that was cool. also I love worlds end dancehall.
they were so funny during this tho. sakyo going “roooar. give us back our friend, you punkass kids.” and juza forgetting what bears sound like so he just literally goes “beaaarrrr” what are you a Pokémon?
and sakoda running towards azami!!! <3 I grew soooo much affection for sakoda in this story tbh like he takes care of azami so well!
thought it was very interesting that like. when they return, everyone in natsugumi is audibly exhausted minus tenma (he’s probably got great acting stamina) and misumi (I don’t think he says any lines here? but he’s probably just got excellent physical stamina. and he and tenma did start out with the like best acting chops of the troupe) which is a cool detail.
and then azami just carefully opening up that he was terrified. not of being hit but of disappointing them and the play. and then when he says to sakyo… “I’m only saying this once, but when I was a kid, I always thought of you as my dad. And… I still do.” IM GOING TO CRY. idk. like the way that azami just Says That and let’s it hang there and then they do the play.
izumi: wow the fight scenes r intense today! (please don’t tell me it’s bc they were just actually fighting…)
damn izumi what do u want me to tell you then. huh. they stomped in their with their animal heads and azami pirouetted back to mankai? no violence involved?
and sakoda crying at the play!! again I can hear the smile in azamis voice when sakodas like bawling in front of him. when azami was like. shift couldn’t make it…? I paused and was like. azami implied shift had an interest in theater at the end of act 2 summer… could it be… and then when azami was like “the god troupe, huh…” I was like ahhhh fuck. we shall see what goes on there later ig.
also they bring up vkei again when talking abt what they want to do next and izumi shut it down… what do u have against it! honestly eyes emoji at masumi saying he likes it, tho... mazumi expressing an opinion that doesnt align with izumi's personal tastes??? maybe I’m missing something.
but the ENDING!!!!!
citron: "I have reached my limit..." AND THEN GUYS THERE HES LITERALLY THERE!!!!! I’m assuming the <> for their dialogue means they’re speaking in their native tongue anyways im going to obsess over <Citronia.> <I've come to get you.> / <I've been wondering when you'd get here.> I knew guy was coming to get citron so I’m glad to see that’s confirmed… already gave my theories on the specifics so I’m interested to see if I’m anywhere close to the mark there.
okay and Now I can talk abt azamis bio dad. i. uh. I hate him. actually he really grinds my gears in a way I didn’t think was going to happen. so I’m worried that I’m being like somewhat unfair to him bc I’m projecting my own biases onto him. so I’m sorry if u have like good opinions of him. it’s rly so funny tho I knew azami did like makeup and stuff and I was like “oh I have. No Interest in makeup or skincare so I probably won’t relate to it too hard” and then This happened and it’s like I got hit with a bowling ball.
like goddd. the way azami is like yeah I bought some cards with my allowance, and then my dad who’s not sakyo found out and threw them out. “I learned then to never let my dad get his hands on anything I’d bought with my own money” gah… not to overshare but like, I feel azami so much there. growing up I would like. never want to tell my parents I liked Anything bc I knew they’d be like oh you’re so silly and dumb and stupid for wanting any kind of merch or collectibles! it’s such a hassle!! why do u like this stupid thing!! so. ahah. I went to a concert for the first time this year and I remember my parents thinking it was weird but then one day my dad called me and he was like oh I was talking to a colleague abt the concert you’re going too and he says that band you like is like, super cool and popular. so it’s like ah. ig now that an Adult has approved it I’m a cool kid now. the same way my writing was worth shit and was totally useless until a family friend kept gushing about the way I’d helped their daughter. anyways what I’m saying it is azami I get it.
and his dad then trashed his makeup, too… like the way sakyos defense for the handmade cards were that they were like “yakuza” cards so he couldn’t complain like it’s a flimsy defense but the fact that he even had to like, make a Justification about these cards when it’s like. these handmade cards aren’t going to help azami fit in or make friends at all so like they’re not accomplishing what the store bought ones were for. but like you still need to defend against it.
but yeah the way it’s like. wow at a pretty young age azami was like oh okay. so if I like ANYTHING I can’t tell my dad about it or he might ruin it. do I feel that this is perhaps part of why he seems so cautionary abt romance yeah sure.
the first time I actually teared up during this whole thing was actually sakyo in the hospital telling azami not to give up. that he can do it even in defiance of his parents. and it’s so meaningful bc sakyos like his DAD. and he’s telling him he’ll support him… like idk. something so heartwarming abt a parental figure being like, hey, you need to prize yourself to the point that if needs must, you can even rebel against me.
the conversation sakyo and izumi have after that, too… “after seeing my boss, I get the feeling there’s no dad out there who doesn’t care about his kids.” this line makes me feel. So Complicated. like I won’t deny the fact that I think azamis dad cares for him on…. Some level…. but it’s like homares grandmother. im glad she loved him but it doesn’t erase the ways that she hurt him, yknow?
also sakyo. you live with misumi tenma and masumi. masumi you can maybe argue his dad caring abt him and same with tenma (but. I mean I’m not HAPPY abt arguing that bc they r rly under baseline care.) but anyways are u gonna do that with misumi’s dad. then again probably only summer troupe knows about the situation there… honestly sakyo probably knows nothing abt the tenma situation too. so he’d only know about masumi and masumis dad seemed like fairly reasonable and nice at the end.
sakoda was so cool here tho. first off having the nerve to even try to still lie about the tickets to protect azami. and then when azami got dragged to his bio dad the fact that sakoda just. started yelling at him? amazing. this made me cry again. like yeah sakodas been watching him… what azamis doing isn’t child’s play! he’s right! and sakoda knows all of this bc he’s been caring abt that kid for forever!! to the point that he’ll yell at the yakuza head like this bc he cares that much!!!
and azami is like. god. I rly love the way he was like. so openly resentful. “Since when have you ever been a father to me?! Dont pull that shit on me now!” ouch. so true though.
and the. the way that uh. “Wh-what are you bowing for? This asshole doesn’t deserve—“ you can HEAR the trembling in his voice. he’s holding back tears. sakyo bowing FOR azami is so good. like I think this scene hit me so hard bc like both sakoda and sakyo who have the lives they do now mostly in thanks to the ginsenkai, are like… sticking up for azami. who is fifteen and thus hasn’t really Given them anything but like his presence. and they care enough about him to stick up for him anyways.
anyways I hadn’t thought abt this until now but it’s like huh… yeah no wonder azami made something up. he wouldn’t want to talk abt sakyo in front of sakyo bc that would be like admitting he still cared abt him. and he didn’t want to talk abt his parents in front of sakyo bc uh. it would be complicated ofc. like in his boyhood collage he was like oh I don’t even remember why I ran away, but shift was probably frustrated and stuff. but like clearly azamis mom had just recently died at that point. he probably just didn’t want to talk about that.
the reveal that the magic brush he uses on kumon was his mothers makeup brush, though… like the way it was her cheek blush to make herself look less sick. and he does the same thing for kumon years later. it just makes it… so much more affectionate. ”I wanted to use its magic to make someone happy like that again. I wanted to do for someone else what I could no longer do for my mom.” and YOU DID!!!
and then his bio dad’s response to all of this. “well, aren’t you all just making me out to be some evil villain. you think there’s a parent out there who doesn’t want to support his child’s dreams?” yes. yes absolutely.
and the way his reasoning is just like. he just thought azami was making up excuses to run away from the family. that uh. that’s not. true… ugh this part is what made me so frustrated. like azami, after his portrait, so very specifically asserts that’s he’s his son and because of that he’ll do anything for him and ginsenkai family. and it’s like. Yeah. I know what it’s like to be so aware of your position as someone’s child and know that even as you hate them you will also do anything for them even if they won’t recognize that. like… he never even asked. azami was so pissed about getting his makeup trashed that he literally ran away and didn’t come back. and you’re still assuming oh it was a little side hobby, if he REALLY cared about it he would’ve, what, psychic mind beamed the force of his feelings to you? if you had paid attention like sakyo or sakoda you would’ve clearly seen how long and how deeply he’s loved it for. even if it had been for a short time how would you know it wouldn’t grow into something else, anyways. like acting.
also his “study your ass off and aim for the top.” line about makeup and then when he gifts him the makeup set later… good on him for personally buying that stuff. but that line left such a sour taste for me bc it’s like. ugh… honestly it just hit a sore spot bc I remember my parents being like. hi child. you can do like, anything you want supposedly but if you want to do like Anything in the humanities field or arts field you’ll have to be the top 1% of it otherwise you’ll die alone. so like if you’re not good enough to do that just quit (I am implying you’re not good enough). and it’s just like. idk. the sort of implications that if azamis not like the best at makeup ever and also that if he hadn’t chosen to do it bc of his mother and it was just something he Liked, then that reason wouldn’t be enough…? that’s just the vibe I get.
also azamis bio dad being like sigh I’ll tell sayuri you’ve become a strong independent man instead of the family head. it just rly irks me like. even now it felt like hey old man. are you looking more at your dead wife than you’re looking at your actual child. because that’s what it feels like.
anyways idk. I hope azami has more space later in life to be a bit more resentful bc I think he deserves it, yknow? I think the way the whole thing went down like, Made Sense bc why would that guy like admit he had hurt his son… that’s like. unrealistic. so I don’t think the story was written badly or anything. it just made me like. really sad. azami didn’t end up loudly crying (im not counting the wailing he has to do in the play for his dead dad.) and like that makes sense to me. actually I think it was very Cool Of Him to never lose his composure That Badly. uh and he’s going to do great considering he as a middle schooler is like rolling normally with college students. but I just want him to be like. feel safe even when he’s not excelling, yknow?
I fear I lost the plot or rambled a bit too hard there at the end, so sorry if it’s incoherent!! I rly like azami!! this was a very good story. im also ridiculously excited for winter.
HUH OH. SORRY ABOUT THAT LMAO. a3 relatability strikes again?
let's go into it!
dFKJDFKLFDJ zombie fun night is perfect. Banri is really being a good leader and figuring out how to have Azami engage with what they're going to do it's just. god Banri is good.
HELPP. Tenma scaredycat, but also for the lizard thing, so valid, i would do the same. AND HELP for the necklace. This is so funny. and yeah Azami's makeup skills truly are shining there! DLKFJDKLFJD being so used to a3 dropping emotional bombs that this just ended up being funny makes it even softer. But yeah agreed on the way Banri coaches him and still encourages him even though it's obvious Azami doesn't feel the same way about theater yet. For Banri who went from uninterested to "this is my whole life actually", it must be jarring to look at this past mirror, but even more reasons to take it easy.
God the Omi and Azami scene was so good. (friend was staring into oblivion during this whole scene and then cursed me. I would love to be all awww but i couldn't stop laughing.)
But yeah it was so nice that like, so many of them worked together in trying to help out? like it really shows that they're really all a family and a community now, and they'll try to help with their newest members as well. AND AWW. yeah Summer is happiness itself. always missing them. even Azami cannot resist them.
BUT YEAH Azami's awkwardness aroound Omi is just. man. Exactly as you say, it's just, difficult to approach right. but yeah it does serve to justify why it goes smoothly with Kumon on the other hand. Omimi's portrait… just, absolutely heartbreaking again as always. I wonder if Omi did take a break when he was being a delinquant and therefore is doubling down on being of service because he still feels guilty for this time. or if him joining the theater troupe is his vision of taking a break since it means his family has to handle things on their own. Or maybe like Juza and Taichi he's just being too hard on himself.
JUZA SO GOOD. ALWAYS.
and here's the meat of it! yes that CGI was so good man. You really feel just how important Azami is to Sakyo in that image. Also if i recall correctly, Kumon panicked over the phone so they really all expected it to be bad while it was just, Kumon panicking, which somewhat makes it even funnier to me. Anyway. Sakyo good dad. that's all i'd say. god this scene is so emo. AND YESS SOBS THE CARDS STUFF. IT'S GENUINELY SO EMO. Azami not able to believe Sakyo would care this much while of course Sakyo does, come on and it's just. god this arc. God the whole way you describe Azami's thoughtprocess is bringing me to tears. I feel like this is exactly how he felt it yeah. Sakyo is worrying about how he "betrayed" Azami by leaving while Azami would have been just fine with it if it didn't feel like Sakyo was abandonning him and only thinking of him as a duty, and it's just. godd. and goddd the way you describe the rest i'm just. soso emo. They really have a neat relationship, a hurt neither of them were able to explain to the other and therefore they hurt one another like that, but they genuinely care so much and want to be part of each other's lives and and y'know what Azami maybe Sakyo is the only dad you need.
SUMMER SO COOL YEAH!! And yeah the play is pretty nice, though yeah. I guess with Azami at makeup they tried new hair things but Taichi's hair stayed too red for it all smh! but i guess in a huge theater it might not matter so much.
SAKODA IS SOOOO GOOD, UNSUNG MVP OF THIS EPISODE. yeah for Tenma's "i always repay my debts" it's about how Autumn helped Kumon out, so Summer is going to help Autumn and Azami out as well basically. And yeah Tenma definitely see them as a team, he's Natsugumi's leader and therefore he speaks for and takes debts for all of Natsugumi. What a lad. But Natsugumi did such a good job and i love how hard they helped on this one. truly MVPs.
Also yes i love how all of Autumn was ready to fight except Taichi who was nervous, but i love even more that it's Taichi who comes up with the plan on how to infiltrate the base. Really reminding us that he was with the "Bad Boys" because of spy related crimes by how he can come up with plans to infiltrate stuff, but also i love this so much. It's kinda where i started to have my headcanon of "Taichi is scaryingly smart when it comes to illegal stuff". Like the idea of Taichi messing up say, simple math, but coming up with an infiltration plan that would even have Chikage pause is one of my favorit headcanons ever, and it all started because of this.
BUT YES THE CG WAS SO GODDAMN PERFECT. IT'S ONE OF MY FAV CG EVER IT'S SO FUNNY. And with the song in the back, it was GLORIOUS. i'm glad you liked Respawn!!!! it's such a neat song! Also i need to share this stage video: https://www.tumblr.com/icharchivist/708632707674079232?source=share
BUT YEAH it was so funny and i lOVE that they were dedicated in like, actually playing their animals like. dguys you didn't HAVE to. you're just so funny. AND JUZA'S "BEAAAR", it's so good. I love them so much.
Sakoda MPV <33333 he really does take care of Azami so well it's really soft.
And yeah Summer's exhaustion is a nice detail. god it makes me wonder for how long they went on, a wonder the public didn't get weirded out by it.
AND SOBS YEAH AZAMI'S SPEECH. YEAH. And also the "maybe it's because i have two assholes dad that i turned into such an asshole" with a bright smile on his face. god he's so good.
And eheheh for Shift, but, yeah. yeah…. AND SAKODA REALLY GOOD. and please just let them having some vkei related play it's all good!! it's worth it!! maybe this time none of you would oppose Juza wearing a dress if the whole thing is about being scared he wouldn't look feminine enough smh!! AND LDKJFKLDFJD MASUMI'S RARE INDIVIDUALISTIC MOMENT.
AND THAT ENDING!!! yeah < > are for foreign languages in general, and in their case it's their native one. But finally. Guy teasing just to build up to it now!!!
Ok so, now, Azami's dad.
"my dad who's not Sakyo" i love that we're carrying it on on "Real Dad Sakyo" and "Not Sakyo Dad", it says everything.
And i'm all good with the oversharing as long as you're comfortable with it, and man. Yeah i feel you on that, my family is pretty much the same. I've also had my family like, throw out or destroy my stuff, important stuff, either without my knowledge or in front of me, so to say i felt Azami really hard would be an understatement. It's a whole level of violation that is just, really hard to swallow and forgive. Impossible even.
Honestly the whole writings over the problematic dads of Mankai, in the whole story, is so conflicting to me in general. I feel like. The issue is that most of the bad parents we meet don't have anything else going for them, the only thing we know about them per se is their function in society, and that they're bad with their kids. They're tools for their kids's backstory more than actual people. And i feel like Azami's dad actually sounds like a real person. A conflicting, messed up person with his own issues, and that ends up hurting Azami as a result. There's a difficulty to reconcile how the dad took good care of Sakyo as a kid for instance, to how he behaved with Azami, and it's really unnerving in general. And as such it puts Sakyo in a position of wanting to defend the man because he owes him so much, and it's difficult to blame him for that, but as a result Azami loses one of his major support.
Honestly my feelings about Azami's dad are complicated. I believe he's the one father of Mankai who can actually realistically work on his issues and improves his relationship with Azami. I believe he cares for Azami on some level more than just material (in opposition to how i'd consider Tenma's, who cared for his carreer more, and Masumi's, who only cared when he needed to fill his divorce's loneliness, and well, Misumi's don't care.). So i end up believing there is a possibility still for this relationship to improve in a realistic way that doesn't feel just like a deus ex machina like the others dads have been. but god, this particular brand of neglect and mistreatment truly also struck a core with me and therefore i can't totally go unbiased about it and ends up just, uncomfortable and unsure. It's so complicated.
Mostly i'd say my different approach is that, even if Tenma, Masumi or Misumi wants to work things out with their dad, i would be completely opposed to it. Purely "why the fuck, no, that's not worth it" at them. But if Azami wants to work it out it's like. "Fine. just stay safe, know you can remove yourself from it whenever you feel like it, and remember to be yourself, and bail out anytime something would go out of hands". yaknow?
But yeah i agree i feel like it really puts Azami in a position of hypervigilence. Everything had to always be a secret, calculated, you only show to your father what you're ready to defend, and it would make some stuff like romance or passions in general, stuff that leaves you emotionally vulnerable, as something that's just too much risk for very little reward. So you just closes in completely.
so Sakyo being there and actually showing him that he can just be himself and he doesn't have to worry more ahead of it is meaningful because yeah, like you say, it gives him a parental figure who is actually willing to let him experiment and be free without having to always be prepared to defend why you want to do something.
“after seeing my boss, I get the feeling there’s no dad out there who doesn’t care about his kids.” i actually really hate this line in a sense, i know Sakyo is mostly just, extrapolating to what he's seeing now, but i hate it on a personal level. I do think Azami's dad cares for Azami, but yeah exactly like you said, like Homare's grandma, his own issues means he hurt Azami in ways that are ways too deep for love to just be enough. Sometimes parents love you and hurt you more than a parent who would merely tolerate you. Because they love you so much they want to make sure you're well fitted to the world and ends up messing you up as a result.
But yeah god, i'm glad we're on the same page, you can't say "all dads care for their kids" when you're living with those kids, and Misumi's in particular. This makes me see so red. I get Sakyo has a personal bias here but giod. but yeah Sakyo probably only knows about Masumi's and yeah, Masumi's dad was reasonable at the end that he might work it out. but also like, didn't Sakyo's dad abandon hm and his mom?! that the whole reason his mom had a hard time in life was because of that? bc i don't remember if Sakyo's absent dad is due to abandon or death. Bc if it's abandon, i feel like Sakyo shouldn't be the one saying all dad cares yaknow? I still think that, the Wastonian reasons of it all, is because Sakyo owes so much to the Boss that he tries to rationalize things in his favor yaknow? But the Doylist reason, i think, is mostly that the one weakness of a3's writing is truly with how they manage to create realistic scenarios of abuses and the way it affects the kids, but then they want to solve it with the parents going "my bad", and the problem is that it's not how coping with abuse works yaknow.
SAKODA IS SOOO COOL HERE YEAH. Like man, the glow up Sakoda got in this arc with how much he would go to hell for this kid and fight the devil himself if he had to. god. unsung mvp.
Azami is totally entitled to throw that at his father's face, go Azami go.
" sakyo bowing FOR azami is so good. like I think this scene hit me so hard bc like both sakoda and sakyo who have the lives they do now mostly in thanks to the ginsenkai, are like… sticking up for azami. who is fifteen and thus hasn’t really Given them anything but like his presence. and they care enough about him to stick up for him anyways. " OGHHH SO TRUE. THIS IS REALLY SO. SO GOOD.
and you're right about Azami's collage being the way it was. It makes sense Azami just didn't want to share this vulnerability, especially with Sakyo, at a point where he still believed Sakyo didn't care for him on top of that. It's really just. man.
SOBS AND YEAH FOR THE MAGIC BRUSH….
"and then his bio dad’s response to all of this. “well, aren’t you all just making me out to be some evil villain. you think there’s a parent out there who doesn’t want to support his child’s dreams?” yes. yes absolutely. " DJFHDL LEGIT. GOD.
But yeah i feel you on everything else you mention about Azami's dad it's just. Acting like Azami was at fault for not making it clear he was serious, while also making the environment too hostile for Azami to even come out and say that. He's responsible for how Azami couldn't trust him and then he blames Azami for not trusting him in a sense. It's really frustrating, and it feels like he's deflecting the blame, while also kinda taking the blame itself. I'm glad he's trying to fix things, and i do think he feels guilty, but it's still so sour.
and i'm so sorry your parents made you feel all those things :( but yeah i totally get what you mean on how it relates to Azami. It's just so unfair to put on him the pressure to be the best of the best.
In a sense i feel it fits a lot of the thematic of Autumn of like… The reasons they have Regrets to start with is because of the expectations people have put on them, whenever it is over their abilities (Banri) or their appearance (Juza) or their age (Sakyo) ect. And i feel like Azami is in this situation where he's about to regret it if he doesn't take his own life in between his hands. He has to break free from those expectations and fights for what he wants. but god. He shouldn't have to fight for it. ig you can't expect Yakuza to do things the easy way, but god he really shouldn't have to fight for it it makes me so sad.
"are you looking more at your dead wife than you’re looking at your actual child" so true unfortunately hhhh.
But yeah i hope Azami gets more ways to process everything later on :/
I do think that, out of all the bad fathers' plotline, like i said, this is the most realistic one in a sense, and i do think it's well written in general. And i do think that when it comes to abused/neglected kids and their parents, there is also just… i know online the consensus is "children should just cut ties with their toxic parents" and i get how it's the easiest way to see it, to free yourself for good for the influence, but it comes with its own type of downsides that are rarely discussed and is also a lot of pressure to put on a kid. Obviously, if it's too toxic it SHOULD be the case, like i said, chara like Misumi in particular are better off moving past it, but i feel like, in Azami's situation, where despite all the hurt and all the pain, Azami still definitely see his father as a human whom he wants to work things out with… It's just really complicated. I have really messy feelings about all of this.
I do hope Azami would manage to be more resentful and end up being able to actually discuss with his dad and challenge him like, no, YOUR behavior was truly fucked up, it's not fair to ask of ME to communicate my feelings better when you never tried to listen, yaknow?
Anyway i do feel like this sort of… complicated messy conflicting feelings of resentment and yet wanting to work it out that is in Azami and his father's storyline, for how fucked up his father is, actually works very well and is very realistic, even if there would be wishes for Azami not to bother at all for it. I feel like it allows Azami the grace of having really mixed feelings about all of this without going to one extreme or the next about how to be with his father, and it's something i really personally connected with, as someone with a very difficult relationship with my family, who thought cutting ties was my best solution at some point, and now as an adult, have to deal with how while i could never ever forgive them, the other extreme isn't satisfying to me, on multiple levels. I don't like his father, but i want Azami to be able to work it out in the way he would consider satisfying, and i think that the story is written in a way that leaves this approach possible and addresses it as such, in a way i think the others bad dads of Mankai get too much of a free pass. but man. messy. And with the patern of bad dads getting off too easily this can come up as much more sour than the conflicting feelings it could have actually worked on if the others dads were treated accordingly imo.
Azami's storyarc genuinely did hit hard for me as well because of that. He's not a chara i particularly relate to outside of this specific plotline but this plotline hits not only very deep, but on mixed feelings that are hard for me to face in fiction, so it's always hard to look at.
On the light hearted side, my friend we talked about was cursing me the whole storyarc bc of how he related to Azami and then Azami's portrait happened and he genuinely just went "okay you know what fuck you" and was so emotionally damaged by the mirror that i could forget for a bit my own pain by letting him suffer a bit. Terrible friend moment.
Anyway!!! it's all good, i'm glad you did ramble, it was really nice to read and well, it's interesting things to think about, even if the conclusion isn't easily clear cut.
I'm really glad you liked Azami and his story!!!
And ehehe Winter soon <3333
And "Conquering Misoshiosa Island!" first!
Take care and always feel free to ramble <333
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kiisaes · 2 years
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ah, i meant bakudeku just as bakugou and deku in that exactly bakudeku moment, so, i know that your art is of them but they feel a little different from how the canon characters feel to me so... hm, idk. obviously it is all personal interpretations, and i totally agree that that‘s like the point :D or one of them lol? it‘s at least super fun, and i think it‘s cool that people branch out like they do as well, watching the same source material but taking away different things from it and idealizing it in different ways for how they‘d want things to be. saying bakudeku really didn‘t make sense in that moment; that refers to the ship. sorry for the confusion!
(also just to clarify, i‘m rly sorry cause i feel like that‘s weird now too (me going i‘m reconsidering and then going no i‘m good, that doesn‘t rly make sense), what i meant with that is that looking at your art it‘s so clear that they‘re in love so when i look at it i‘m like ah no i see it!, which is kinda dumb ig cause it is ship art like duh. anyway. god that rly doesn‘t make sense at all, cause i just thought yeah i see it in that moment bc i recognize them in the art but then they‘re also in love and that‘s true. but i just said that i don‘t see them as i see the canon characters. i‘m really sorry, i‘ll think it through next time before starting conversations to make sure i don‘t just find out actually i contradict exactly what i said before in the middle of it, i‘m so sorry and so glad the anon feature is a thing lmao. sorry for dumping this messiness in your ask box! and more canon kirishima & bakugou content that i could watch and interpret my ideal kiribaku into would be great hehe, i‘m happy to hear you like an idea of them together too :D and i keep looking at the mangas whenever i‘m in my local bookshop but i feel like it would just be so much money lol, so i haven‘t bought any yet. but yeah, the art style is definitely super super cool :D (not that it would be any less so if i didn‘t agree, tis all obvs also subjective))
again, sorry for the length and sorry for the absolute mess, and thank you for sharing your art :,)🤍
ohh ok! so basically what i'm hearing is that u like bkdk but in the context of mostly fan art (with all of its fan interpretations), not in the actual series? bc if so that's understandable too — fan content will always dramatize a relationship more than what's present in canon and might make it seem more appealing LOL
haha i have no problem with ppl not liking bkdk as a ship or choosing not to ship it for any particular reason, so no worries! i know lots of bkdks can get pretty territorial over their ship tho, so for ur best interest, i'd recommend not going up to random bkdk artists and talking about krbk out of nowhere ^^' i've met a staggering amount of bkdks who don't like krbk at all (the same way i've met lots of krbks who hate bkdk) so probably best to make sure the bkdk is ok with other ships including bkg and deku. it's smart to play it safe — this fandom is already barely keeping it together with ship discourses and i wouldn't want u caught in the crossfire ( ;´Д`)
despite the severe amount of bkdk i draw, i am a multishipper, so i don't particularly take much offense to these anon asks. as long as u don't come in slandering what i like then u're good lol. i have few notps so it'd always be nice to see more interactions between characters in the manga :') canon krbk has been pretty dry for ... maybe around 2 years now? oh god. which sucks, but hopefully they'll get some stuff soon !!! rooting for u and ur fellow krbks !!!
and u can read the manga online! i used to use bokunoheromanga.com, but it seems to have trouble with showing older chapter pages — or maybe it's just me. now i just use VIZ for every new update but there are definitely sites dedicated to posting the mha manga chapters whenever they come out! (i only buy certain volumes if they have specific arcs or scenes i like lol)
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happybird16 · 2 years
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(Kinda tmi?? Idk)
Hm...after reading what you and that anon talked about (I was thinking about it for a while too), I'm getting way more convinced I'm aroace... it's weird to say it actually... I never felt any interest in anyone (sexual or romantic), I do recognize when someone's attractive though; I'm considered an attractive person too, but every single time someone shows they're interested in me i feel so weird. I feel kinda bad in a way because I'm always rejecting, but because i feel nothing towards them I also don't care??? It's weird, I just don't feel anything; meybe some hyper-fixation for a couple of days and if the person is annoying just some hours lmao
I don't ever want to marry and don't really wan't a relationship; can't see myself in one even though i know aroace people can, and some want to, be in one.
I do love thinking about sex, masturbating, etc, but I only feel this need when thinking about fictional people and very rarely people i couldn't ever have like a celebrity (rarely because I'm not attracted to any of them, I was once for this one artists but meh idk real people might be the problem)
Idk what to do.... Levi, specially Levi, is the only fictional character that made me feel free with being sexual and fantasize about romance without feeling weird. It makes me happy, but again, kinda weird because idk what to do irl. I'm okay being alone, it's just confusing thinking about being aroace when I was convinced I was pansexual just bcs I find anyone attractive
Let me know if your uncomfortable with me posting this response publicly, I’ll delete it immediately.
It’s sort of exactly the same for me. I’ve always had the hardest time even telling when someone is hitting on me, but once I realize it it’s immediately an ‘oh god no’ feeling. I feel hot and itchy and uncomfortable and just want out. Even back in high school. Heck, probably even middle school.
I’ve always sort of felt bad too. Like they’re interested in me, why can’t I respond in kind. Everyone else is always obsessed with pairing off like it’s the end all be all, but I just can’t. Like I almost feel like I should be obligated to respond. I also can not tell what flirting is or isn���t, so I feel like I might accidentally lead people on all the time. :(
I’ve never really found an irl person attractive, or even cute. Tbh most people sort of look the same to me. There’s only like a handful of basic facial features and they all sort of blur together. Maybe I have face blindness?? Idk. Anyways, I can find individual features attractive, i’m sure my obsession with muscles is apparent, but never the whole person, ya know? Abs, nice. Arms, nice. Whole thing, ew. Not just for men either, I often find individual features of women nice to look at as well.
Also the whole fact that that’s a bother person, a whole human with their own thoughts and desires, really stresses me out. Like I’m never sure exactly what they want from me, what they think of me and what they expect.
I think anytime I’ve ever shown any interest in someone is because I more or less felt obligated to. Either by society or their interest. There was no actual sexual or romantic intent on my part.
I’m not an expert, and it’s a spectrum so we’re not doubt very different, but don’t be afraid of labeling yourself as something and changing your mind later. It’s your life. You do what you need and if anyone says anything that’s their problem.
I’m not even 100% on the label of aroace for myself, partially because of the comments I’ve gotten from people I know about it. That if I’m asexual I shouldn’t feel any desire ever. No thirsty thoughts and no masturbation. That if I’m Aromantic, how can I watch and enjoy romance movies/shows? Like people don’t understand basic human empathy is what makes us enjoy those things. I’m not emotionless, I’m just a little different.
In the end, you don’t even have to pick a label, just do what makes you feel comfortable. Enjoy being alone and fantasizing about Levi just like me, lol. Ive basically just decided not to stress about it, and just focus on myself since I have no desire to pair off anyways.
(Though I have been contemplating ‘coming out’ on my Facebook next month and urg)
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aaeoluss · 4 years
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Happy sts and positive vibes to you, Elliot! What are things/activities that make your character(s) completely lose track of time? - notwritinganyflufftoday
[ u may have noticed. it is not saturday. it literally never is when i answer these. but thats ok lol ] 
new wip hours*
adian - hanging out with people 
bane - also hanging out with people but only if people is adian (lol) 
tomas - writing/playing music 
yttria - journalling 
charlie - working on a ritual/reading  
this is a really interesting ask, what is it for your characters?
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arodabi · 3 years
Text
Whats an aromantic flag and why you should include it in your pride posts
disclaimer: i know theres fighting every year about who should and shouldn’t be included in pride posts, this isn’t to argue with people who just hate aspec ppl, this is an informational post. don’t send me bullshit about it
Why should you include aro flags?
many people believe that aromanticism is covered under the asexual flag, so if they include that they’re including aros, however that’s not the case. aro and ace people share the aspec community, but one identity does not fall under the other. It’s less like using the trans flag as an umbrella for all trans and nonbinary people even if there’s a separate nonbinary flag, and more like using the transmasc pride flag to represent all transmascs and transfems. Aros are just not covered under the ace flag because both groups are separate identities. people can be aro and ace but not all aros are ace.
aro is also an incredibly important identity for a lot of people, something we take a lot of pride in. we get relegated to “minor or add on identity” all the time because people keep thinking of us as the -romantic version of asexual. we have multiple terms, multiple flags, and a huge array of different aro experiences, we are not a subset of asexuality and many of us wish for that to be more respected.
last on the reasons of why you should include aros in pride posts is that we have no larger umbrella flag, unless we’re counting the rainbow flag. the aro flag is the umbrella flag for arospec identities. if you don’t include it then we aren’t being included. and this isn’t me telling you you have to include an aro option for everything you make (tho that would be nice) ppl have the right to choose what flags they want to include. but theres been many times when i see people add  flags representing all parts of the community except aro, and then add on smaller more niche flags. i don’t want this to come across as another post like “how dare you include X flag but not Y flag!!!” because i think everyone should have the joy of representation, i just think many people don’t realize they’re even leaving aros out. either through lack of awareness or lack of knowledge on what the aro flag actually is, and that’s what i wanna help with this post.
What even is the aro flag?
Let’s start with what it’s not:
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[ID: a flag with four horizontal stripes. from the top down they are green, yellow, orange and black. End ID]
This was the first proposed aro flag. We do not use it anymore for a couple reasons, the main one is that it resembled another countries flag too closely and was getting confused. I’d think this one would have died out by now but i literally just saw a post include it today.
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[ID: A flag with five horizontal stripes. from top to bottom the colors are dark green, light green, yellow, grey, and black. End ID]
This was the second popular aro flag. It is very close to the main aro flag now except the middle stripe is yellow. That stripe was changed due to causing some people sensory problems. This one is sometimes still accidentally used, probably because it looks very close to the main flag, but it’s not the main aro flag either.
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[ID: A flag with five horizontal stripes. from top to bottom the colors are black, grey, white, light green, and dark green. End ID]
I’ve actually seen this flag used a lot by people not very knowledgeable about aros. This is a flipped version of the aro flag. I also for the life of me can’t find an example of this but i’ve seen more than once a version that is flipped and removes a stripe of green so it looks like a recolored ace flag. These are pretty common, enough for me to have seen multiple people selling merch with this incorrect flag. I think it comes from people thinking the aro flag is the same as the ace one which does start with black at the top and has only four stripes.
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[ID: A flag with seven horizontal stripes. from top to bottom the colors are black, grey, white, green, white, grey, and black. End ID]
Yeah, this is the agender flag, not the aro flag. I see these get mixed up all the time. It’s not hard so see why with similar colors and a white grey black gradient, but as someone who is agender and aro, it kinda gets on my nerves when people mix these up. Also no this is not the same color palette as the aro flag. I’ve seen people make designs labeled as agender/aromantic that just use the agender color palette. The aro flag has two greens and they’re both different than the agender green.
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[ID: Two flags next to each other. The first one has five horizontal stripes. from top to bottom the colors are orange, light orange, white, light blue, dark blue. The second flag has eight horizontal stripes. from top to bottom the colors are dark green, light green, white, grey, black, grey, white, and purple. End ID]
These are two common aroace flag designs. These flags are used by a lot of people and you might see them included in pride posts. These are good flags, however, they should not be used to represent all aros. Including an aroace flag does not mean you’re including all aros and all aces, it means you’re including just aroaces. There’s plenty of aros who aren’t ace and aces who aren’t aro. It’d be like putting a gay trans flag in a post and saying its there to represent all gay and all trans people, when the flag is usually used to represent only people who are both gay and trans. Again, these flags are not bad, and them being included in pride posts is good actually, but they should not be used to represent all aro and all ace people.
Now let’s go over what actually is the aro flag:
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[ID: A flag with five horizontal stripes. From top to bottom the colors are dark green, light green, white, grey, and black. End ID]
This is the main aro flag. It’s the one most widely used and recognized. The color meanings are dark green and light green representing the spectrum of aro identities, white meaning friendship, and grey and black representing the spectrum of sexual identities in the aro community.
But wait there’s more!
The aro identity is a spectrum, meaning theres more identities under aromantic, and they have their own flags too. If you really wanna go wild and include some other aro flags heres some more. (this is not a full list of all arospec identities, just some i see around the most. feel free to look into more arospec identities and flags! also all of these definitions are coming from me and my personal knowledge of aro identities, i do not identify as any of these though, only as aromantic, so if i give the wrong definition please tell me so i can fix it!)
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[ID: A flag with five horizontal stripes. From top to bottom the colors are dark green, light green, white, yellow, and dark yellow. End ID]
This is the alloaro flag. Alloaros are aros who aren’t ace. They deserve more support and attention because they’re really amazing members of the aro community.
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[ID: A flag with five horizontal stripes. From top to bottom the colors are dark green, grey, white, grey, and dark green. End ID]
This is the greyromantic flag. Greyromantic means someone who feels romantic attraction rarely. The term greyromantic is also sometimes used to mean aro identities that still feel some form of romantic attraction.
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[ID: A flag with four horizontal stripes. From top to bottom the colors are black, green, aqua, and grey. End ID]
the quoiromantic or WTFromantic flag. It means someone who can’t or doesn’t want to tell the difference between platonic and romantic attraction basically. It’s got a special place in my heart bc i used to id as quoi.
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[ID: A flag with five horizontal stripes. From top to bottom the colors are red orange, orange, yellow, white, and black. End ID]
This is the Lithromantic flag. Lithromantic means someone who feels romantic attraction but doesn’t want it reciprocated, or may no longer feel romantic attraction when it is reciprocated.
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[ID: A flag with a black, sideways triangle on the left side pointing right and three horizontal stripes. The first stripe from the top is a thick white stripe, the next stripe is thin and dark green, and the bottom stripe is thick and grey. End ID]
The demiromantic flag. Someone who is demiro doesn’t feel romantic attraction until they have formed a deep emotional connection with someone.
And there’s many more arospec identities!
I hope i’ve helped to clear up some misconceptions about aros and our flags! We’re not under the ace umbrella, we’re our own community. We all have different experiences, different relationships to our identity, and I hope to see more people represent aros this year!
Have a happy pride month!
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Headcanons for SBI Sibling!Parrot Hybrid!Reader
(A/N): ope, went a little overboard with this one (also it’s not proofread, so sorry about any mistakes)
You have wings on your back (the feather pattern depends on what parrot floats your boat)
If you’re a Scarlet Macaw, Blue-and-Yellow Macaw, or Chestnut-Fronted Macaw, then you have black lines on your cheeks and heavy black lines around your eyes (think Hawks from bnha but less pointy)
If you are a Hyacinth Macaw, you have yellow markings around your eyes and mouth
If you’re a cockatiel, you have a killer mohawk/hair that is always very pointy and orange circles on your cheeks (how cute!)
I have a feeling that your hair is incredibly soft
Very sensitive wings
I feel like your teeth would be sharp and your nails would normally be fast-growing, long, and sharp
You tilt your head like impossibly far when you’re confused or trying to hear something better
Like your ear would almost be touching your shoulder
The head movements are very jerky and kinda just happen on their own when you hear something so you would have a lot of neck pain : (
You’re allergic to chocolate : (
I feel like people would underestimate you greatly and think you’re nothing except the ditzy comedic relief
Parrots are actually very intelligent
It bums you out to hear people say things like that behind your back when they think you can’t hear, but you try to not let them get to you
You give the best cuddles and are very affectionate with the people you’re close to (you’re also very cautious of strangers)
You’re also very in tune with the emotions of the people around you
You see someone sad? Head nuzzles and wing hugs
You see someone angry? You deescalate the situation the best you can and make sure they’re ok afterwards
You can dilate and contract your pupils rapidly at will
You may or may not stare at people doing it until they notice you staring or until they get creeped out
You fuck hard with any type of seed, nut, or fruit
When you get excited, it’s literally so cute??
Like you do everything parrots do
Little happy pitter patters with your feet, flutter your wings, your pupils contract and dilate rapidly, you make a ton of mob sounds
You’re easily excitable, hyper, and happy most of the time
It makes everyone happy to see you so excited so they would often go out of their way to get you things that make you happy
“Hey (y/n) I have some extra melon seeds if you want em!”
*Pupils contract and dilate rapidly*
You are loud
Like very loud
And very talkative
Like everyone knows where you are at all times
If you’re quiet and they know you’re around, either something is very wrong or they’re about to get pranked
God forbid you start to scream, your scream is loud enough to deafen someone for a brief amount of time and would leave everyone’s ears ringing for days on end
The mere mention of yours and Tommy's names together in one sentence is enough to give Philza a headache (someone give this poor man a couple of advils and a long vacation)
You two are literal demons when you’re together
Very chaotic relationship
You both like to fuck with people by sneaking up behind them
You would make mob sounds and Tommy would jump them before you two made a break for it
You and Tommy almost got killed by Techno a few times, but in your opinion the look on his face was 100% worth it every time
I feel like you would cart him up and down from the towers he builds
He could relate to being stereotyped as the stupid loud one, so he recognizes right away when you’re sad about it and will try to cheer you up
His main go to is the jukebox
Oh my god if he plays his jukebox around you, you go full send with your dancing
*AGGRESSIVE HEADBANGING*
He would laugh at your awful dancing, but he would join you eventually
Cat and Mellohi go hard
Speaking of music, Wilbur uses you as a walking soundboard
He needs a sound sample? You better prepare for spending most of your day recreating the sound
He needs back up vocals? You spend most of your day listening to his voice and other singers so you could replicate it
You don’t want to disappoint him so you try extra hard to appease his picky music composition
You kinda stress yourself out over it sometimes
When he notices (which he will, he’s very perceptive), he immediately calls it a day and has some sibling bonding time
You both bond over liking to eat strange things
Amazon macaws like to lick clay deposits on riverbanks so you like to have some on you at all times to lick when you get stressed
Wilbur carries some in a bag in his pocket and you carry a bag of sand 
Whenever one of you notices the other has a rough day, you give each other your respective stuff
You have to be sneaky with it though, Philza always takes away nonedible stuff from his children if he sees them trying to eat it (he has good intentions tho)
It always looks like a drug deal 
With Techno, I feel like he would find you incredibly annoying at first with how loud you are
He would actually start to hate you when you started to sneak up behind him 
It got to the point to whenever he would hear your voice he would get irrationally mad and have to leave the house for a few hours
He, like everyone outside your family, would think you were useless and incredibly stupid
That was until he passed Tommy’s room one day and overheard you crying and telling Tommy about your insecurities
He would spend the next few days ignoring you bc he felt bad
He would spend those days contemplating on why he treated you like he did
Coming to the realization that you were likely trying to get closer to him and you were just being yourself, making him feel like the biggest piece of shit
He totally had no idea how to confront you about this, so naturally he went to Philza (that man was literally so happy that his children were gonna start to get along)
He would spend the day gathering golden melons because he found out that you’d never tried golden melons before from Philza
When he approached you one day with an apology and some golden melons, you were suspicious at first
He hated you, so why would he get you these things if he didn’t need anything from you?
Quickly finding that his apology is genuine and he felt incredibly bad for treating you like that over the years
You picked up on his guilt pretty quickly and made quick work to reassure him
He would take you on short trips and would soon find that you’re very useful in detecting mobs and deterring creepers with cat noises
He would never admit it, but he loves it when you would scare Tommy or Wilbur, thinking it’s hilarious 
You also found out that carrying a seven and a half foot tall piglin hybrid was incredibly difficult to do, especially when flying
You two managed to get only about ten feet above the ground before your wings gave out under the strain and you fell on him
“(Y/n) has earned the achievement ‘When Pigs Fly’” flashed on everyone’s comm tablets that day
That wasn’t fun trying to explain to Philza
Philza would be ecstatic to have someone to fly with that he didn’t have to carry
He would take you on flights when you had too much energy 
Sometimes racing each other and competing to do tricks midair (which sometimes you both rope your brothers into judging)
Late night flights when you need to get your mind off from something
Watching the sunrise together in silence for once
Bonding over being able to see ultraviolet light when everyone else couldn’t
You always give him the shiny things you come across and he gives you your favorite snacks
He always fusses over your wings, sometimes preening them for you
Helping each other through molts
Matches your excitement sometimes when you’re really happy
You feel bad whenever you hear stories of how difficult you were as a baby
He’s quick to reassure you that raising you was worth it and you turned out to be a great person
But he wouldn’t be lying when he said you were a difficult infant
Your terrible twos stage? His literal hell
Philza swears he can still hear ringing from whenever you would throw tantrums as a toddler, even years after you left your toddler age
He also still has some scars from when you went through your biting phase (teething was awful for you, his poor baby)
But he’s happy he was the one that raised you, he genuinely enjoys your presence
If you’re in a really affectionate mood he is more than willing to let you cuddle up to him while he reads a book or something
WING HUGS WING HUGS WING HUGS WIN-
When he’s had a long day and is stressed out, you immediately pick up on that and do everything in your power to make sure your brothers are quiet and behaved, try to find out what made him so stressed, and sometimes go out of your way to take care of it for him
You try to be the one taking care of him for once as much because he’s taken care of you so well throughout the years
He can tell if you’re overwhelmed or upset just with one glance at your ruffled feathers and your rapidly dilating and contracting pupils
Immediately pulling you out of the situation and letting you talk it out
Whenever he finds you sad about your insecurities, he points out every part of your personality that he loves
That’s before he hunts down the person that made you feel like this (he really lives up to his title of ‘The Angel of Death’)
Overall, you wouldn’t trade your family for the world
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Hello, my request is for Niragi ✨ Y/N was popular in high school and always protect him when he was bully. When they saw each other in Bordeland, she saw how much he changed and keep her distance from him (which he hates), and she have an attitude that make one of the militants wants to attack her but Niragi protect her like she did with him bc he would never admit her but she's his only weakness
Yessss I’ve actually been wanting to write something for Niragi that sounds very similar so I’m glad you requested this! Thanks so much! 💕
You’re Everything You Once Hated | Suguru Niragi
PART 1 | PART 2
{Alice In Borderland Masterlist}
Character(s): Niragi (ft. The guys that bullied Niragi, Ann, Hatter, OC’s)
Summary: You and Niragi were best friends in high school. When you arrive in the Borderlands, you notice he’s not the person he used to be, causing you to avoid him. But unfortunately, he’s not happy about it.
Warnings: swearing, bullying, smoking, drinking, violence, threatening, bullet wounds, implications of sexual assault
Word Count: 7.1k
*reader is female
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Niragi gif credit
4 Years Earlier…
The young boy grunted out in pain, having been hit with another rock right between his eyes. This one managed to crack his glasses, making his vision go all distorted.
His classmates around him roared with laughter. His heart filled with both anger and sorrow, wanting nothing more than to dissolve into the wind and out of his current situation.
“Aww, little Niragi has become quiet. Where’s those sarcastic remarks from earlier, they seemed to have left you,” his attacker mocked, adding a mean tone to his voice.
Just the usual. ‘Maybe they might end their target practice with me earlier today,’ he hoped.
He had grown used to it. He now expected to be dragged under the bridge each day on his way home from high school, being pushed around and roughed up. It’s not like he could’ve defended himself anyway. It was six guys against one, he never had a chance.
A short jab to the back of his neck broke him out of his thoughts. He groaned and doubled over, feeling as he was going to throw up. “Come on Niragi, fight back! It’s no fun when you just stand there,” the blonde student complained, striding over to the weakened boy. He gave him a quick kick to his side, making him fall on his hip harshly.
“Fuck off,” Niragi groaned under his breath, half hoping his tormentor didn’t hear it. But unfortunately, the small remark reached his ears.
“What was that? Did you just try to defend yourself? You’re going to have to use a lot more than just a few words you fucking loner,” the boy poked, giving Niragi another harsh kick to his stomach, making him become winded and choke on air.
He laid there taking their harsh words and hearing their mocking laughter ring in his ears. What did he ever do to deserve that?
“Hey Haru!”
The blonde turned his attention from his target to the direction of the voice that called his name. There you stood, by yourself with no one else. You obviously didn’t think the situation through before throwing yourself into it. You remained near the stairs that led down to below the bridge, holding something behind your back, but Haru seemed to not notice it.
Your heart skipped a beat when the group of high school boys all locked eyes with you, confused about what you were doing interrupting them.
“The fuck do you want Y/N?” the blonde, Haru, asked you in an annoyed tone.
You gulped before answering him, trying to sound as threatening as you could without your voice cracking. “Let him go! He’s done nothing to you, why are you giving him a hard time?” you spat at him, taking a few brave steps closer to the scene in front of you.
Niragi slightly lifted himself off the ground to look over at you. He recognized you from his social studies class. You both sat together at the back, and he always thought you were too nice for your own good.
Niragi sat up and shook his head, trying to warn you to stop what you were doing. He didn’t want to drag you into his own problems. He would’ve felt awful if you happened to get hurt while trying to help him.
Haru rolled his eyes and groaned at you. “Why are you getting involved? This is none of your business,” he retorted, walking closer to you with the baseball bat in hand. You watched with fearful eyes as he swung the bat around, obviously to threaten you.
Your heart quickened and you felt it pound against your ribcage dramatically. As Haru got closer and closer, you stood your ground bravely, still holding your hand behind your back to hide your weapon from him. You weren’t stupid enough to get yourself involved without having some kind of way to defend yourself.
“Well? Are you going to answer me or just stand and shake like the pathetic girl you are?” Haru tormented, a confident smirk growing across his face.
His comment made your blood boil. “Do you have a saviour complex or something? Why did you think you could help this son of a bitch?” he pressed, gesturing towards Niragi who was slowly rising to his feet with a worried expression on his face.
That was it. He was getting far too close to you for your own liking, so you decided that comment was the final straw. You rushed towards him and pulled out the large can of pepper spray from behind your back, aiming directly at his smug face.
He cried out in pain the moment the spray hit his eyes, dropping the baseball bat and covering his face with his hands. He tried desperately to rub the stinging liquid out of his eye with his school blazer sleeves, but it wasn’t worth the effort as it only made it worse.
You moved quickly and picked up the bat that he dropped, running past him towards the other boys that were still gathered around Niragi. They all held shocked expressions on their faces.
“You want some too?” you bluntly asked, thrusting the pepper spray towards them. They all flinched and stumbled to get away. You smiled, feeling empowered.
Haru and the others ran, thinking that beating up Niragi wasn’t worth being blinded for.
You turned towards the bloodied boy standing against the wall looking at you in shock. You glanced at him, giving him a friendly smile. He returned it.
After that, you two became inseparable for the rest of your high school days, spending every waking moment together. With your tough attitude and Niragi’s shy demeanour, you were a strange friendship to have been made. You thought you would always stay together, until one day Niragi went missing.
You never guessed where he may have ended up, until you were sent there yourself a few years later.
*************
You breathed in a huge gulp of oxygen as the black bag was harshly pulled off your head. You tried to wiggle your hands to shield your eyes from the blinding sunlight seeping through the windows but struggled as you saw that your hands were tied to the armrests on either side of you. You groaned in frustration.
As the curtains closed so you could see probably, you saw a young woman with short black hair dressed in blue shorts and a white button up that was tied at the waist. “Sorry,” she began. “I forgot to close that before removing the bag.”
You looked around at your surroundings. You noticed that there were several more people in the room. The room was large, stretching down further until it came to a stop at the end where a large wall stood, conveying a huge spray painting across it that consisted of every card from a deck of cards. Some were crossed out, while a few number cards and all face cards remained untouched.
You whipped your head around, feeling restless from the number of eyes staring at you. You don’t remember how you got into this situation. All you remember is walking to a large light in the distance from your position on a bridge, being curious as to how it seemed to be the only building with electricity. Before you knew it, someone had grabbed you by the shoulders and shoved something over your head, making your vision go black and suddenly passing out.
You moaned in pain as you felt the back of your head throbbed, probably from when they punched you to knock you out.
“What’s going on?” you asked, struggling in your restraints more, trying to break free. An older man with glasses scolded you. “Stay still, Hatter will be here soon.”
Just as he promised, two large doors on your left burst open, revealing a man with a long decorative robe and dark glasses on. He had two other men beside him, both holding revolver guns.
“Ah! A newcomer!” he exclaimed excitedly, taking a big sip from his drink.
You froze, watching as he strides into the room further, making himself comfortable on a table in the centre of the room.
“A few of my militants tell me they found you sneaking around nearby The Beach,” he accused, pointing his finger at you.
You stared at him; confusion written all over your face. Militants? The Beach? What was he talking about?
After you didn’t answer him for a moment, he let out a big sigh and jumped off the table onto his feet, beginning to talk himself.
He explained the current situation to you. About how the dynamic at The Beach worked, and that considering the number of high-level cards you had on your person, you seemed to be the perfect candidate to add to the ranks of everyone there.
“And remember, death to the traitors,” he said, spite filling his tone. He had listed off the three main rules to you, each one adding more dread for you.
“Okay, all good. But I just want to say. If you want people to help you collect cards, kidnapping them isn’t the best idea. If it hasn’t hit you yet, that would make people want to help you less,” you smartly said, trying to stop your lips pulling up into a smirk.
All the heads in the room turned to Hatter. No one has ever questioned his motives to his face before, especially a newcomer.
Except, he didn’t get angry like everyone expected. Instead, he chuckled and held his drink out towards you. “Cheers to that, I guess. Have fun!”
************
The Beach was a lot more crowded than you expected. Your eyes almost popped out of your head when you walked down to the bottom floor to the pool. People were everywhere; dancing, swimming, drinking, talking, smoking. It honestly couldn’t have been more chaotic than it already was.
You spent most of the remainder of the day becoming familiar with the layout of the hotel. You found the room that you had been assigned to. You managed to score a room that was a little above average. Hatter decided to give you the benefit of the doubt and gift you a higher number due to your high number cards. He thought it was only fair.
You were sitting at a table nearby the bar. The sun had gone down but the party continued on through the chilly night air. You shivered, not being used to being dressed in a bathing suit twenty-four seven. You were annoyed that you weren’t even allowed to wear some sweatpants to bring you some kind of warmth. You guessed you would just have to grow used to feeling the cold on your skin.
The warm beverage slipped down your throat, bringing you at least a little bit of comfort. You had made yourself a coffee inside, not in the mood for alcohol just yet. You honestly didn’t like drinking without having anyone you trusted around you, just in case something was to happen.
You looked around the area, taking in everyone’s faces to see if anyone appeared friendly enough to be nice to you. You needed to make some allies before the next game, otherwise you would be the first they would sacrifice.
As you scanned the crowd, your gaze landed on a particular male, who was sitting in a more done up booth nearby the pool. He was wearing a black and white checkered shirt with black skinny jeans. He had several piercings in his face, making him seem more threatening.
You squinted your eyes. Why did he look so familiar? You swore you’ve seen him before.
You kept your gaze locked on him, watching as he communicated with the people sitting near him. You noticed that a huge sniper rifle was tucked behind him. He must have been a high-ranking militant, being able to carry a weapon like that around.
He suddenly flung his head back and let out a roar of laughter at something the guy next to him had said. You froze in your spot.
You could recognize that laugh anywhere. That loud, obnoxious laugh that used to come from your old friend Niragi from high school. Your best friend that randomly disappeared.
You blinked a few times before looking back at him. His facial features did match and the way he smiled seemed way too familiar to not be him.
How could he be here? Is this where he disappeared to a couple of years ago?
Your heart filled with joy and a wide grinned grew on your face. That had to be Niragi! Who else would it be?
You quickly stood to your feet, almost tripping on your chair in the process and began making your way towards his position.
Although, as you did so, another man approached him from behind, leaning over the seat and tapping his shoulder. Niragi turned with an angered scowl on his face, but it turned to a smirk once he heard what the man had to tell him.
You stopped in your tracks and watched as he leaped over the backrest of the couch suddenly, following the man with his rifle slung over his shoulders. They were headed to the door that led inside, so you quickly followed, wanting to reunite with your old friend from so long ago.
“Niragi!” you yelled out happily, trying to get his attention. A few heads turned at your voice around you, but he didn’t manage to hear you over the sound of the music blaring through the speakers.
“Niragi!” you tried again, but this time you were blocked by a few people in your way. A small crowd gathered in front of you, not noticing you trying to get past.
Niragi turned his head at the mention of his name but couldn’t see anyone calling his attention. He shrugged it off and kept following the man. He had told him that a young guy was causing some trouble inside one of the halls, so he was going to take care of it.
As you finally managed to force yourself through the small crowd that interrupted your path, you saw the Niragi and the man had already made it inside. You ran straight after them. You were feeling ecstatic, ready to throw your arms around him and give him the biggest hug ever to make up for all the days you’ve been apart.
As you quickly made your way inside, you caught a glance of his checkered shirt turning the corner a bit ahead of you. You moved your legs as quick as you could, trying to catch up.
You turned the corner, about to yell out to him again, but your voice got caught in your throat when the sight in front of you met your eyes.
“You really thought you could get away with this?!”
Niragi had a young boy pinned to the ground, pressing his boot against his upper back and shoving the barrel of his rifle against his skull violently. The boy below him was crying and begging for his mercy.
You had a small flashback to high school, when you saw Niragi’s main bully Haru shoving a baseball bat against the back of his head, him lying on the ground battered and bloodied.
It was the exact same scene. Only this time, Niragi was the tormentor himself.
“Niragi, I’m sorry! It won’t happen again!” he cried desperately, clawing at the floor trying to get away.
Niragi lifted his other boot and stamped it down roughly onto the boy’s hand. You covered your mouth as you heard a few bones crack.
He leaned down closer to the boy’s face and lifted his head up his hair, making him whimper in pain. “If I ever see you stealing from one of the executives again, this rifle will go down your throat and I won’t hesitate to blow the back of your skull out,” he hissed, sticking out his tongue and revealing the ball piercing he had.
The boy nodded, leaning away from Niragi as best as he could.
The man who led Niragi to the scene tapped him on the shoulder. “Alright that’s enough. You don’t want to give him PTSD,” he said calmly.
Niragi let out an annoyed groan. “But I was just getting started with him!” he whined, letting the boy out from under his boot and watching as he scuttled away like a bug.
You couldn’t move. You stayed put as the boy pushed past you, accidentally smacking into your shoulder in the process. Your eyes remained wide, staring at the tall man with fear written across your face.
This was not the Niragi you knew. It was not the Niragi you defended from those bullies. This was not the Niragi that used to be your closest friend, possessing a shy and timid personality. No, that Niragi was dead now. This was a devil standing in front of you. Nothing but a violent jerk that struck fear in anyone that he came across. What happened to him?
Unfortunately, you took a little too long to gather your thoughts and before you knew it, a rough grip was on your shoulders shaking you out of your daydream. You flinched in a panic as you saw Niragi’s angered face appear in front of yours.
“What are you looking at? You want some too?” he growled, shoving the barrel of his gun against your temple. You froze, staring into his dark, evil eyes, not knowing what to do.
You watched in confusion as his hard and angry facial features softened, rage turning into surprise, and even concern.
“Oh my god,” he whispered, taking his hands off your shoulders and backing a way a bit in shock. You kept your eyes on him. You wanted nothing but for him to recognize you a few minutes before, but now you weren’t so sure.
“Y/N?!” he exclaimed suddenly, causing you to jump as his tone. A large smile grew on his face, only you viewed it as nothing but sinister and evil.
“Oh my god Y/N! Since when did you get here?!” he asked excitedly. He quickly moved towards you again and held his arms out to give you a hug, but you backed away and shook your head, making him frown.
“What’s wrong? Don’t you recognize me? It’s me! Niragi! Your best friend!”
You shook your head again, trying to get the message across that you didn’t want him near you. “Sorry Niragi,” you mumbled, trying hard to keep your tears in.
You quickly darted around the corner, making your way to the staircase to run to your room. You felt overwhelmed. After everything that happened today, finding out that your closest friend was now a murderer was the last thing you needed.
Your stomach dropped as you heard heavy footsteps following closely behind you.
“Wait Y/N! Please let me explain!” he tried to stop you, but you weren’t going to give him any time after that performance with the young boy.
“Piss off Niragi!” you yelled, climbing the stairs as fast as you could, trying to get away from him.
You turned onto the floor that your room was located on, sprinting down the hallway. You glanced back over your shoulder to see that Niragi wasn’t that far behind you. He had dropped his rifle, now trying to catch up to you empty handed.
You quickly busted through your door and immediately pressed your entire body weight on it. You silently cursed Hatter for not letting you have locks.
You heard him arrive in front of it, immediately trying to open it, but you stood your ground. He may have been tall, but there was nothing but skin and bones on him. He had no muscles to help him push through.
You held the door shut with your leg and reached for a chair to put against the handle so we wouldn’t be able to open it. You managed to secure it underneath the handle and stood back, watching as Niragi tried to open it again, but failing.
“Y/N please just let me in! Let me explain! I didn’t mean for you to see that!” he cried. You almost felt guilty, hearing as he started tearing up behind the door while still attempting to let himself in.
“Please Y/N! Let me in! I missed you!”
You covered your ears with your hands. You didn’t want to listen to his pleas, it would do nothing but make you feel bad for him.
That wasn’t Niragi outside your door, that was a cold-blooded killer that you wanted nothing to do with.
**************
The next few days you spend on alert around The Beach, looking around every corner for Niragi. As much as you’ve missed him the past few years, that event that occurred with the young boy obviously showed that he was no longer the nice and caring friend that you used to have. If anything, he now has become what he hated most in his high school days, a selfish and careless bully.
Who wants to be associated with someone like that? Not you.
Although even though you managed to avoid him in person, his name was brought up wherever you went. A few people would approach you during the day and warn you that Niragi was looking for you. It only would make your anxiety spike, causing you to scatter off to a more secluded place somewhere at The Beach. Most of the time you would hide in your room, but on the few occasions you climbed to the roof or hung around Alice and Usagi (who you had befriended), you managed to keep away from the psychopath.
One day, you were sitting out on one of the tables out by the pool. It was still quite early in the morning, so there wasn’t a lot of people around. The air was quite nippy, making you shiver against the cold breeze. You rubbed your arms up and down, trying to warm yourself up. Unfortunately, you hadn’t grown used to the ‘always wear bathers’ policy yet.
You felt a gentle hand lay itself on your shoulder, making your eyes widen and your head whip around to yell at whoever had dared to touch you, but you held in your harsh remark when your eyes met with Niragi’s.
“Finally! I found you!” he exclaimed, a sickening smile spreading across his face. You leant away from his touch, scooting your butt along the seat of the table, trying to make distance between the two of you.
Niragi obviously didn’t like this.
“Why are you avoiding me like I’m some kind of disease? I just want to talk to you! I haven’t seen you in years!” he said annoyed, taking a seat at the table.
You eyed his sniper rifle closely, watching as he placed it down on the table in front of him. You felt somewhat relieved that the barrel was pointing away from you. Who knew when he would decide to use that vicious weapon against you?
You blinked, not daring to say anything. You wanted to get out of the situation as soon as possible. It was unbearably uncomfortable.
“Sorry Niragi, I have to go,” you stated, standing up out of your seat and moving to turn away.
Niragi gripped the back of your hoodie and pulled you so you sat down again, making you yelp in surprise. “No, you don’t. Stop avoiding me,” he growled, placing an arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer to him.
You closed your eyes tightly in discomfort. You swore you were so close you could hear his heart beating. With a short shove to the side, you got out of his grip and stood up again.
“No, I do. I’m sorry but I really don’t want to talk to you,” you bluntly said, becoming agitated from his insistent behaviour. Why did he think he could just tell you what to do?
He frowned, standing up as well. “Fine then, I’ll just come too. I don’t care if you don’t want to talk to me. You don’t get a choice.”
You rolled your eyes and quickly started walking away from him, hoping to at least get a head-start to stay away from him. You heard him jog up to you as you kept walking, seeing his shadow appear right next to you.
You became more and more anxious the longer he followed you. He started to get a little too comfortable in his movements, even having the audacity to touch your hair and comment on how much it’s grown.
It got to a point where you had walked all the way to the lobby about three times, realizing that he wasn’t even focusing on where you were going. You turned around just as he was reaching to grab your hand, looking him in the eye with anger written all over your face.
“Can you not take a hint?! Leave me the fuck alone!” you yelled, watching as his face contorted into shock at your tone.
“I don’t want to have anything to do with you Niragi! You’re fucking insane and sadistic! Has it not occurred to you that you’ve literally become the soul thing that you hated in high school?!” you sassed, anger ripping from your words and smacking him in the face.
The few people in the lobby turned their heads at the sound of your arguing, being curious due to not seeing anyone ever dare to yell such vulgar words towards Niragi.
He tucked his hand into his jeans pocket and readjusted the rifle on his shoulder, almost looking bored. “Yeah? And what would that be?” he asked, licking his bottom lip while staring at your menacingly.
You cringed as his movements. “A fucking asshole! A little bitch that preys on those weaker than him just so he can project his own hatred for himself onto them! You’re pathetic Niragi, and it’s a real shame that no one has in this shithole has told you so. Because no one knows you like I know you, and I know that on the inside, you hate yourself more than anyone could ever hate you.”
You took in a deep breath, regaining your strength. You suddenly saw the irony in your words. You accused Niragi of projecting his anger onto others when you just did it yourself.
Niragi rolled his eyes, bringing his rifle down off his shoulder and fiddling with the bullet canister. You felt your heart stop from his actions, being afraid that he was going to use it on you.
“Don’t act like you don’t miss me Y/N,” he laughed, glancing his eyes back up to you.
You grunted in annoyance. “Just leave me alone, please,” you begged, turning around and leaving Niragi to the peeping eyes still staring at you both.
He turned his head to everyone in the lobby. As he did so, everyone turned back to what they were doing, being afraid of being caught staring and yelled at by him.
“That’s right. Mind your own business,” he shouted out across the lobby to make sure everyone heard.
He watched you as you walked away, eventually turning the corner to go search for Alice and Usagi. At least they would give you some kind of security after what just happened.
He chuckled to himself, sticking his pierced tongue out and running it across his lips once again. “Just you wait Y/N, you’ll come running back to me soon enough. You can only keep that tough façade up for so long. Just wait until people find out that you’re all bark and no bite.”
************
You stumbled your way to the entrance of the hotel, head throbbing in pain and legs aching from the muscle strain you’ve put on them. You had arrived back from your game, being the only one that managed to survive. You didn’t feel well, both physically and emotionally, so you were planning on slipping into a coma for a few days to sleep off the pain that you were feeling at that moment.
It felt like a huge effort to even lift your feet. You didn’t feel like talking to anyone, so you weren’t even thinking of checking in on Alice or Usagi. You said to yourself you would look for them tomorrow. You were in too much of a bad mood to engage in conversation. You’d probably end up snapping at them, which wouldn’t be fair on them since they just completed a harsh game themselves.
As you were just about to enter through the large glass doors before a young militant woman with short blonde hair pushed through before you even had the chance. She managed to even knock your shoulder during the process, making you hiss in pain.
She looked you up and down with a disgusted expression on her face. “Watch where you’re going,” she spat before continuing walking inside.
You rolled your eyes. “Bitch,” you mumbled under your breath.
Her head quickly whipped around to meet your eye, an angered scowl on her face. “Excuse me?” she said in disbelief.
Your words got stuck in your throat. She wasn’t meant to have heard that. “I-I…”
“I-I..” she mocked you. You felt your adrenaline skyrocket. You’ve heard of this girl; she doesn’t take things lightly.
“Look I’m sorry, it just slipped out I promise,” you stammered out, putting your hands up in a surrender. You weren’t in the mood for dealing with her shit, you were grumpy and tired. You hoped she would let you off with just a warning.
But she had different plans.
She grabbed you by the back of your hoodie, dragging you outside again and brought you over to a small alleyway that ran along the side of the hotel. You struggled in her grip and protested the whole way.
Although, you stopped fighting against her when she shoved you against a brick wall and pulled a revolver out of her jacket pocket, pushing it underneath your chin. You froze and looked at her with pleading eyes, begging for her to have mercy.
“You’ve messed with the wrong person you bitch,” she growled, giving you a quick jab to the ribs. You yelped in pain, clutching your side. It hurt ten times more, considering you’ve already faced a horrific game that same night.
“I’m sorry!” you cried, feeling tears welling up in your eye sockets.
She scoffed and smirked at you. “Wow, all bark and no bite huh?” she teased, throwing a kick to your shin, making you cry harder.
Her words angered you, making you see red for a short moment. You forgot about the revolver against your chin and gave her a quick punch to the jaw, making her head whip sideways.
She groaned, clutching her face and slowly turned back to you. You felt yourself fill with regret when you saw the look on her face. She looked like she was ready to kill you.
“Is that how you want it? Fine, have a hole in your foot. Maybe it’ll manage to get you and your attitude killed off in the next game,” she snarled.
Your stomach dropped at her words. Before you could even protest, she pulled away and aimed the gun towards the ground and blew a quick bullet in the top of your foot.
You cried out, kneeling and grasping your foot in your hands in pain, biting your tongue so you didn’t scream too loud. The pain of the bullet seeped from your foot and up your leg, spreading across your body.
The militant girl stood above you, laughing at your pathetic body lying on the ground. Your screams of pain brought her pleasure.
“Didn’t think this would happen when you bad mouthed me, didn’t you?!” she laughed, leaning down and pushing the gun against your head to threaten you more.
Another gunshot rang in your ears. For a moment you thought it was her and that she had put a bullet through your head, killing you. But then you heard a cry and saw the girl fall in the ground holding your shin with her head thrown back in a silent scream.
You were about to attempt to stand up to take this opportunity to run, but quickly jumped back down to the ground when another loud gunshot filled the air. You heard the bullet colliding with flesh as the girl flinched violently and cried out again.
You heard a menacing male laugh fill the air, and you glanced down the alleyway to see where it came from.
There stood Niragi, holding his sniper rifle out towards you both with smoke protruding from the barrel of it. A psychotic grin was painted across his face and you swore you saw his eyes shine red.
“Why are you giving my poor love a hard time?! Maybe think twice before you put a bullet through my property,” he exclaimed, chucking and walking up to the girl giving her a harsh kick to the ribs.
You felt like you were about to throw up and hearing some of her ribs crack from the collision of her chest to his boot did not help your nausea.
You rubbed your eyes and pressed your forehead against the ground. You wanted to wake up, like this was all some bad dream. Before you knew it, you were silently sobbing on the floor, tears rolling out of your eyes and down your cheeks.
You felt two arms wrap around you, lifting you off the cold stone floor and into a warm chest. You winced and whined as the bullet wound in your foot shot a searing pain through your leg. Niragi shushed you quietly.
“Shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you,” he whispered, placing his cheek on top of your head.
His behaviour was giving you whiplash. One second ago he was acting like a maniac, shooting holes through a young girl, but now he was carrying you by under your knees and your shoulders, your head tucked into his neck.
You were exhausted, your body not even listening to you. You tried to move your leg to force yourself out of his grip but didn’t even have the strength to lift it. Your head was throbbing, and you could’ve passed out easily in his arms, but forced yourself to stay awake.
As Niragi walked past the lobby to get to the medical room, he attracted a few worried faces. Some even stood up to walk over and ask if you were okay. Everyone was terrified he had bad intentions with you, knowing how he was.
He ignored the few that approached both of you, rushing down the hall to escape them. He had to get there quickly so Ann could treat your bullet wound.
When he arrived, he pushed through the door harshly and called out to Ann with a worried tone. She stopped what she was doing and turned to the door to see Niragi holding you close to him protectively, blood dripping into the ground from your shoe.
“Shit, bring her here.” She gestured towards an empty table in the middle of the room. Niragi rushed over and placed you gently on the metal table, letting you lean your upper body against him.
Ann brought over some large tweezers, a cloth, disinfectant and a bandage. You flinched at the sight of the tweezers, moving to get away from her. “No, no!” you begged, trying to crawl up the table to get away, but Niragi grabbed your waist and pinned you against his chest.
“We have to get the bullet out Y/N, we can’t just leave it in there!” he argued, brushing your hair out of your face to calm you down.
You struggled against his grip as Ann held down your foot and carefully removed your shoe and sock. You looked down and saw a small hole in the top of your foot. How could such a small injury cause so much pain?
“Alright Niragi, keep her still. This is going to hurt,” Ann said shallowly, picking up the tweezers to try and remove the bullet.
“Yep.” You felt his grip on you tighten and he tucked his chin on your head. “Please just keep still Y/N, I’m here. It’s okay,” he cooed. His reassuring words didn’t do much to ease your anxiety.
Niragi turned your face so you were nuzzled into his chest. He knew that making you watch Ann take the bullet would do nothing but freak you out more, so he wanted to protect you from the sight.
You felt fine until the pain in your foot suddenly skyrocketed, making you let out a piercing scream. You bit your tongue to try and quieten yourself, but it didn’t do much.
Niragi frowned as he suddenly felt you go limp against him. He looked down at your face to see you had passed out, eyes shut tight and letting out soft breaths.
He smiled and brushed his fingers across your face. “So cute,” he mumbled.
“Well, that’s better. Maybe if we just knocked her out with a quick jab to the head, it would’ve saved us the headache of trying to keep her down,” Ann stated bluntly, causing Niragi to laugh.
“You know how this happened?” she asked him, raising her eyebrows.
“A bitch shot her just outside the hotel,” he said with an angry tone.
Ann didn’t seem surprised. Events like that occurred a lot. She had removed a lot of bullets the time she had been there.
“What happened to the girl? Did she run when she saw you?”
“I didn’t give her the chance to. She copped two bullets into her body for doing that to Y/N.”
“Did you think maybe Y/N was the one giving her a hard time?”
“Doesn’t matter. I only saw her shoot the bullet, nothing else.”
“Fair enough.”
***********
You cracked your eyes open to a room that most definitely wasn’t your own. You groaned and sat up, wincing when the pain in your foot shot through your leg. Memories of yesterday filled your head. “I must have passed out in the medical room,” you said to yourself.
You scanned the room. It was much bigger than yours. The bed you were in was three times the size of yours, and this room even had a huge balcony. As you looked around more, you noticed that a bag of your stuff was placed near the closet.
You frowned. Why was your stuff from your room here?
Suddenly the door opened to reveal Niragi, walking in with a plate of a bread roll and a bottle of water. He saw you awake and smiled.
“Aw little mouse is awake. How’s your foot?” he purred.
You cringed at the pet name. “What’s it to you, dickhead,” you growled, getting out of the bed and standing up. You were wearing the same clothes that you wore to the game yesterday, minus the shoes and the jacket.
Niragi smirked and placed the food on a small table in the centre of the room. “Have you forgotten who saved your pathetic ass yesterday?” he asked, approaching you. “And also, don’t stand on that foot. It’s injured, you have to rest it.” He pushed on your shoulder lightly to make you sit on the bed again. He sat himself next to you and leaned towards your face.
You moved away from his face, hating how close he was to you. “Yeah, but how did you know I even needed help? And don’t tell me you were just going on a short stroll through the alleyway at eleven at night,” you said, scooting up the bed and leaning your back against the wooden bedhead.
Niragi chuckled. “What if I was? Are you accusing me of stalking?” he suggested.
You shook your head. “Why is my stuff here,” you asked, changing the subject.
Niragi glanced over at the bag full of your stuff on the ground near the closet. He turned back to you with a smile on his face. “Oh yeah! I forgot to say, you’re moving in with me,” he said excitedly.
You felt your stomach drop. “What? I didn’t agree to this.” You swung your legs over the side of the bed and attempted to stand again. You could only place pressure on one foot, so you stood on one leg.
“Oh, baby. I don’t care if you don’t want to. You’re in here with me now, whether you like it or not,” he growled, reaching out towards you waiting for you to place your hand in his.
You stared at him, trying to see if he was joking or not. But from the serious look on his face, you didn’t think he was.
“I’m not staying in here with you. You’re a fucking psycho.”
You attempted to limp over to the door, wanting to escape Niragi as soon as possible. But you didn’t expect him to be so insistent on you staying.
A sudden arm around your waist spun your around and Niragi pinned you against the door, his face far too close to yours for it to be comfortable. “Did you not just hear me? You don’t get a choice love. You’re stuck with me,” he rasped into your face with a scary smile across his.
Your breath hitched and you turned your head away as he moved his face closer, trying to force his lips against yours. You felt helpless.
“Niragi please. Let me go, I’m sorry if I ever angered you,” you begged, pushing on his chest, but he wouldn’t budge. “I promise if you let me go, we can go back to how we were in high school.” You were trying to do anything that would get him off you. Your heart was racing, and you were becoming more frightened by the second.
Niragi licked a long and slow stripe from your collar bone to the back of your ear. You cringed and sobbed at the feeling of his tongue and saliva on your skin. “Maybe I don’t want it like it was back then. Maybe I want more Y/N,” he whispered.
He tucked his face into your neck and nipped at your skin. He had your arms pinned either side of you and his leg was holding your good foot against the door. You couldn’t do anything to defend yourself.
“What have you become Niragi,” you sobbed after a short moment.
Niragi removed himself from your neck, leaning back to look at you. You stared into his eyes, seeing the same dark and beautiful orbs that used to make your heart race with love in high school, only now, they made your heart race with fear.
“I’ve become the real me Y/N, and you’re going to love me, whether you want to or not.”
2K notes · View notes
inumaki-roll · 3 years
Note
i was curious how the DR (( nagito, hajime, makoto, rantaro, shuichi, chihiro, byakuya, izuru, kazuichi, & kiibo if that’s okayyahdsh sorry)) & AOT guys would react if their s/o who is selectively clingy w certain people kinda back off suddenly because they just feel.. embarrassed?? like when they were a kid people reacted negatively to their clinginess and would ignore them for it. and they just feel so dumb to show emotion & showing their clinginess? and they feel like they’re being a bother and being annoying too... & suddenly just feel like closing off from the world lol? i’ve been feeling like this recently and i’d love to see what they’d do if that’s possible please!! thank you so much!!
hi anon !! i’m this way too dw HWKWBWN 
i hope it’s alright that i only did the danganronpa boys and eren, armin, jean, + levi but if you want i’ll def redo it later with more of the boys !! i’m really sorry today has been a wicked long day for me bc of doctor appointments and i have to write an email to my principal of my school because of a certain incident so i’ve been a little stressed with that and report cards coming up </3
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- mod rantaro ✧・゚: *✧
➽───────────────❥
MAKOTO NAEGI
- he can completely understand 
- he’d make sure everyone left you alone and he’d let you stay in his dorm during the day and night 
- he’d love the clingyness please 
- he wouldn’t even get annoyed with it either 
- if you thought you were annoying him he’d be so panicky 
- waving his arms everywhere while frantically telling you how much he enjoys your company 
- he’d be so mad at the people who told you you’re annoying 
- constant reassurance- headpats, hugs, light kisses on your face, and lots of hand holding 
➽───────────────❥
BYAKUYA TOGAMI
- he might act a bit annoyed, but as soon as he sees your insecure about coming off as annoying he softens right up 
- he’d make sure no one messes with you because he can be quite intimidating 
- he stays by your side all the time in public 
- he would mention how he enjoys having you around him and he’s delighted that you’re so comfortable around him 
- in public hed let you hold onto his elbow if you’re feeling like you don’t belong in a conversation and if you got really uncomfortable hed leave right now away 
➽───────────────❥
CHIHIRO FUJISAKI 
- he gets so flustered when you cling to him 
- he loves it when you’re sitting right near him while he’s working on a computer 
- he gets all smiley please he’s just too cute 
- every so often he’ll turn his head away from the screen and plant a little kiss on your cheek to show that he’s not ignoring you 
- i think he’d rather just hang out with you in each other’s dorms during freetime instead of socializing anyways 
- he’d like teaching you little programming things 
- he’s worried he might bore you so he programs something to your interests 
➽───────────────❥
KAZUICHI SODA 
- HED LOVE THE ATTENTION 
- he’d literally never get tired of it bc he can be quite clingy as well 
- lots and lots of affection 
- he’d love it if you stayed with him while he worked on something 
- he’d love showing off and showing you how to do mechanic things 
- hed literally YELL at anyone who calls you annoying 
- he could never even think for a second you’re annoying or too clingy 
- he’d bop someone on a head with a wrench for you <3
➽───────────────❥
NAGITO KOMAEDA 
- omg please. 
- nagito would feel like he wouldn’t deserve your clingyness 
- he’d tell you that over and over again too 
- he’d watch his words carefully to not say something that may offend you 
- he wouldn’t even mind that you’re clingy, sometimes he might get a little like “woah this is a lot of affection for me and i’m not used to it” and may accidentally distance himself for a short time but would recognize that he did that and remembers that you need someone and hed apologize and would never leave you alone again 
- he’d smother you with affection right back 
- he thinks you’re more deserving of affection than he is, so he gives back the same energy 
➽───────────────❥
HAJIME HINATA 
- tsundere hajime would be so like 🤨🤨🤨
- he wouldn’t know how to respond at first but he’d warm up quickly because he also likes the attention 
- all the affection makes him feel so,,, special 
- he loves it even though he may need a break once in a while, due to his stress 
- he never ever even thinks of you as annoying and will argue with someone who thinks you are 
- like a full on argument 
- he’d  always tell you how much he values your quality time 
- he might sometimes accidentally mirror your actions and “cling” a bit too by subconsciously draping his arm over you when your next to him or always being able to find your hand while walking together 
➽───────────────❥
IZURU KAMUKURA 
- he’d be so confused on why you’re clinging to him, since he’s not a very touchy person
- he’d ask you this too and he’d understand that he’s special because you aren’t like this with everyone 
- he’d do anything for you to make you feel more comfortable about being a clingy person and he explains to you that it’s not your fault you’re like this and to not get mad at yourself because it’s a normal feeling that lots of people go through 
- he’d  always have a hand holding yours or an arm around your shoulder
- he’d think it’s very endearing that you’re clingy 
- so much quality time spent together finding random things to keep each other occupied 
- sometimes he can feel exhausted or just drained and will just flop himself onto you and just lay in your lap and let out a big sigh and literally lay there forever 
➽───────────────❥
RANTARO AMAMI 
- he’d also enjoy it quite a lot 
- he’d always offer for you to tag along if he’s going somewhere but he never wants you to feel out of place 
- he’d literally welcome all the affection pls 
- he’d literally go “aww” at it too 
- he’d feel so content when he has your attention 
- rantaro supremacy 
- okay why do i think he’d ruffle your hair as a way of intimacy too 
- BIG WARM LONG HUGS 
➽───────────────❥
SHUICHI SAIHARA 
- flustered emo detective
- he’d hide his face a bit when he receives a lot of attention because it gets him so blushy 
- he’d be a little hesitant but,,, lots of pecks on the lips 
- he’d also never even dream about calling you clingy or annoying because it could make you upset 
- he wants you to be content and comfortable so he’ll always let you be near him
- play with his hair while he works on a case i’m ajsjkabssk
- he’d immediately feel less stressed and worked up 
➽───────────────❥
KIIBO
- oh boy 
- he always loves the clingyness because it helps him understand humans better 
- he likes seeing all the different types of affection that you can give and will remember it and test it out on you later 
- he like offers you little things for hanging out with him 
- he’ll give you a flower for just being near him please he’s just too <333
- “y/n! thank you for your time today. i collected valuable data, now saved to my memory bank and it also let me get to know you better. i think it would’ve been a bit rude that you did not benefit from this so i hope you accept this flower as a sign of my graditude and as a thank you for being an extraordinary s/o.” 
➽───────────────❥
EREN JEAGER 
- also a bit confused 
- why do you want to cling to him ?? he can get violent and loud sometimes ?? 
- he might be hesitant to accept the affection but would warm up 
- he would be very,,, quiet while receiving affection 
- like he becomes so focused on that 
- will fight anyone who thinks you’re annoying 
- when he finds out you’re really only like this around him he’s so shocked but honored 
- he’d try his best to make you happy and comfortable 
- he’d love love love holding hands 
➽───────────────❥
ARMIN ARLERT 
- bae would be shy shy 
- he’d be so scared to mess up 
- he’d literally freeze the first time he gets affection and would melt right into it 
- like just pull him into a tight hug for the first time and he’d just freeze and go 
- “y/n.... i-i really like this. can we stay like this for a bit? please?” and would hug you back tightly 
- then he gets used to it 
- he welcomes all the affection and he smiles widely whenever you go to him and he tries to hide it 
➽───────────────❥
JEAN KIRSTEIN 
- he’d try his absolute hardest to make you happy and would cling right back 
- he’d be flustered and try to act tough at the same time akshakue 
- i think he’d like tracing his fingers around your back and arms 
- big hugs 
- you have to let go first on hugs, he never lets go [hes scared he might loose you] 
- gets a little nervous and panicky if you aren’t being your usual clingy self 
➽───────────────❥
LEVI ACKERMAN 
- he wouldn’t really respond 
- he’d let you cling onto him and will let you follow him around 
- he’d warm up to it very slowly
- and one day randomly returns the affection 
- i think he’d like little kisses on the knuckles or hands 
- he wouldnt get annoyed because he’s one of the only ones who’s treated this way by you so he wouldnt want to hurt your feelings 
- if you did get insecure he would give reassurance by a kiss and a “pep talk” 
- won’t tolerate anyone calling you annoying 
➽───────────────❥
590 notes · View notes
yesimwriting · 3 years
Text
Falling Angels
A/n this literally poureddd from me, might be bad bc recently i’ve hated everything i’ve written (my drafts are full lol)
--
Series Summary: Y/n is a rising star in the most famous circus in Ketterdam because of her ability to see the future. Unfortunately for her, Kaz Brekker knows more of her backstory than he should, and he’s willing to use that to his advantage. The one thing he’s not betting on? That he doesn’t know her entire story
Chapter summary: Y/n gets a visitor before getting tricked into the most dangerous show of her life. 
Pairing: SOC x reader, Kaz Brekker x psychic! sunshine-y! reader
Warning: mentions of sexual harassment, slight cursing, near death experience 
--
Enjoy it, because it doesn’t last. That’s what the older girls whisper, mock casualness attempting to disguise bitter undertones as I walk past them. They say this, sharp nails ready to be covered in blood as red as their lipstick, because the pile of gifts from my ‘admirers’ keep coming. Circus hands keep approaching the long vanity in the dressing room tent, tapping me on the shoulder politely to shove cards and bouquets of flowers in my lap. They don’t understand that the praise isn’t because the patrons of our performances find me more beautiful--they’re desperate for my favor. They’re desperate to know their future.
Looking at myself in the mirror, the pageantry of it all has not yet grown old to me. My hair is still in the process of being styled, my stage makeup is half done, and I am not yet coated in that golden shimmer Senia always dusts across my cheeks and shoulders. But I am more enhanced than I normally am, eyes made bright by thick coats of mascara, cupid's bow made prominent by ruby lipstick. The lip look is more daring than I’ve been before, but there can’t be much harm in change. Not when half the women here keep looking at me like I’m the saint of virginity. 
It’s not my fault that the Ringmaster thought an angelic aesthetic would work best for the fortune teller who walks around before the show, reading palms so that people can have their pockets picked. It’s not my fault people want an angel to take the stage and call people down from the audience to get a detailed reading around the crowded circus tent. I don’t pick the costumes, and while I acknowledge that mine shows the least amount of skin, the Ringmaster found a way to dress me as suggestively as possible without ruining the illusion of innocence. 
At least the flowing tulle wings that are stitched into the back of my costume are beautiful. It’s easier when I enjoy the good. 
“Y/n!” The familiar call of Senia. I turn my head, beaming. “You’re a vision, and all of those jealous girls--you can tell them to take their wrinkling faces and--” 
“Seria.” For someone so much like a mother, she often needs to be reminded that not everything needs an aggressive rebuttal. “Think about it from their perspectives--their entire existence is dependent on how sellable they are, how attractive they are to men who only want to use them. If that makes them mad at me because they feel like my youth and novelty is taking from them, then that’s okay.” She raises a fine eyebrow. “I can take a few mean words.” 
Seria purses her lips. “Okay, but I’m just as old and tired and you don’t see me trying to poison you.” 
I roll my eyes. 
“Look, it's our very own saint.” I roll my eyes, Via’s shrill voice piercing through me like an annoying papercut. “And in such a scandalous lip color--has the Ringmaster finally taken you to the ivory tent?” 
Ivory tent. It’s been mentioned to me before and always in jest. “Where he takes me is none of your business, if not being the favorite hurts you so badly ju--” 
She laughs, the sound is pure vile. “Being the favorite is the worst thing you could be in a place like this. You’re shiny and new and soon you’ll be as used as the rest of us--Seria’s use is waning, what happened to her today is proof of that. Soon you’ll have no one to protect you.” 
When she looks at me I see more pain than hatred. “I think we’d get along better if I had it in me to hate you.” 
She raises an eyebrow before shaking a cigarette from a small box into her palm. “You’ll get there, princess.” 
The nickname leaves me burning. There’s nothing more consuming than fire. “You better pray to the real Saints I don’t.” 
via laughs, lifting the cigarette to her lips and lighting it with her abilities. She walks away, turning my threat into that of a child’s. 
“She’s right on two accounts.” Seria hums, “The Ringmaster will kill you if you wear that lipstick and Ketterdam turns people like you into people like me. We could save up, pay off your indenture--get you out.” 
Seria doesn’t need to make sacrifices like that. Not for me. Besides, there’s no leaving Ketterdam for me. Not anymore. “Being like you wouldn’t be a bad thing.” I scratch my arm, see through material wrinkling as a result. “And I can’t--I can’t just leave. I’m a psychic, no Grisha can see the future. I need the facelessness of Ketterdam.” Her lips thin in protest. “And don’t think I didn’t hear what she said about you--what happened to your foot, and what’s in the ivory tent? People keep saying it, whispering it like there’s--” 
“That tent is nothing that will ever concern you. I’ve given you my guidance, and the one thing I ask is that you never ask or go to the ivory tent.” 
I swallow once, the intensity in her eyes leaving me raw. “What if he tells me to?” 
“He won’t.” Seria breathes. “He doesn’t like that for you.” 
This isn’t an argument I can have now, not with two minutes until the show starts. “And your foot?” 
She shrugs, holding up a bandaged ankle. “You get older, your ligaments like the tightrope walk less and less. I’ll be fine.” 
“You’re not tightrope walking like that--” 
“Yes, I am. The Ringmaster doesn’t know and he can’t--if I start giving him performance trouble--you don’t know what happens to the girls who can’t pay off their indenture by performing.” 
I swallow once. “You’ll be careful?” 
“Always,” she grins, “Besides--one day you’ll know enough about tightrope walking to help me on days like this.” 
The last time I trained on the mini-tightrope had proven me to be a disappointment. Still, I smile at her softly. I open my mouth to respond, but a quick tap to my shoulder silences me. 
“Miss,” a circus hand I recognize begins.
I smile politely. “Please leave any gifts on my vanity--” 
“It’s not a gift,” he mumbles, voice taut, “You have visitors.” 
Something solid pushes itself into my chest, wedging itself between my lungs. Have they found me? “I-I don’t take visitors. Not before shows, if someone wants a private reading they’re to go to my tent at the front--” 
“We’re not here for readings or any of the other lies you sell.” 
...Surprising. I let my gaze move from the face of the circus hand and towards the individuals behind him. A man, tall and dressed in business attire--hat and all. His face is all sharp angles and his eyes are emotionless. His leather-gloved hands grip the head of an intricate cane. Next to him is another tall man, dressed a little more casually, with dark curls. Lastly, there’s a girl, with oil-black hair pulled into a sleek ponytail. 
“Then what are you here for?” 
Seria, never one to leave me unattended around strange men, takes a step in front of me. “I know who you are, Dirtyhands, and I know there’s no business you could find with her.” 
What? Dirtyhands? Can people in Ketterdam ever just be normal? 
“I wouldn’t speak so certainly.” I don’t like the way his eyes narrow at Seria or the way his grip on the cane tightens. 
Thoughtlessly, I stick a hand between them, forcing Seria back slightly. “I apologize, she’s protective--always assuming the worst in people. Though considering she called you ‘Dirtyhands’, maybe that’s what you want.” 
Ugh. All I do is ramble when I most definitely shouldn’t. “Want what?” 
Eyebrows drawing together, I force myself to hold his gaze. “For people to assume the worst.” 
The response seems to confuse him. That’s okay--I’ll take anything over aggressive. “The only people I want to assume the worst are those I want to be right.” 
Okay. Dramatic was a fair assumption. 
“Seria.” Oh no. I know that voice. I know that voice too well. “They tell me you're injured.”
Seria stiffens, as does every performer when he addresses them. “Not too injured to perform, sir.” 
The Ringmaster sneers. “I can’t risk you falling and embarrassing me. Perhaps tonight you’ll make your money by spending the entire show in the ivory tent.” 
The way she hardens wrenches my gut. I press my hands to avoid reaching out for her. “I can do the tightrope.” The Ringmaster’s gaze shifts towards me. “I can do it--and I can do it well and I’ll give the profit to Seria.”
He tilts his chin, regarding me in a way a woman should never be regarded. He’s a predator and I’m a lamb that’s lost its way. Still, I hold his gaze. I don’t flinch, even when he moves to brush his knuckles along my cheek. His touch is acid. Pure, burning acid. “The wings I placed on your back are decorative.”
“I don’t need them.” Total bullshit. 
“Hm,” he breathes, letting the smell of alcohol fill the space between us, “I’ll allow it.” The Ringmaster drops his hand to his side. “Wipe that lipstick off your face before someone mistakes you for one of these common whores.” 
How I don’t throw up at the sight of him is a miracle in itself. By some small mercy, he turns and walks away before I have to respond. 
“You’re an idiot--you know you’re not ready for the tightrope.” 
“There’s a net,” I try to keep my voice light, dismissive. She remains tense. “Seria, I had to.” 
“No, you could have--” 
“It’s not fair that you’re always a shield for me. When the opportunity to shield you for once comes, I’ll take it.” Turning before she can protest, I try to walk forward. The stranger places his cane where I intend to walk, intentionally warning me that he decides when our conversation is over. Unfortunately, I used up all my patience with the Ringmaster. “130 kruge.” He raises an eyebrow. “That’s the estimated amount I’ll make tonight, unless I’m late and excluded from the show. Either make up the deficit you’ll be costing me or let me go.” 
His eyebrows draw together, shifting his expression from neutrally calloused to something much darker. “Kaz.” This comes from the girl. She takes a step forward. “Look one step ahead.”
“Excuse me?” 
“Everyone thinks you’re not supposed to look down, but looking up is just as impractical.” She pauses, expression strangely mesmerized, “Look one step ahead--not at your feet.” 
My genuine smile shocks me. “Thank you.” 
“I should be thanking you, Sankta y/n.” Her head bows, hands held together as if in prayer. 
Oh. She’s one of the religious that believes me an actual Saint. “I appreciate the sentiment, but if I was a Saint I’d be able to help people.” No matter what I do, no matter how much blood I offer, I can never help people. “And as you’ve seen--I can’t.” 
--
The crowd’s roaring is a different world to me. On the platform, feet away from the other wooden structure acting as solid ground, everything is different. I am now in a world where the only thing to believe in is a taut rope. The net is beneath me. I’ve seen it--I’ve checked it. 
“And for our grand finale!” The Ringmaster calls, voice billowing over an excited crowd. “Our very own angel defies death!” 
An odd way to phrase the tightrope walk. It’s never called ‘defying death’.  I had been surprised when I was told that tonight the tightrope walk would be the grand finale--I assumed it was because it featured me. I’m always the finale now. I try to move my foot off the platform but it’s planted firmly. No. I need to see Seria--I need to see who I’m doing this for. I force my gaze to the ground, panic rising in my chest. 
Instead of Seria, I see Via--her smirk apparent even from here. Spite’s a decent motivator. My foot descends off the platform, touching the tightrope cautiously. And then I move my other foot. All of me is now on this damn rope. I hadn’t been unforgivably horrible during practice, but I hadn’t been graceful either. 
Don’t look down, don’t look up--only look one step ahead. One step ahead--one step at a time. Balance. I take another step. The room is so silent there’s no doubt in my mind the sound of my bones cracking would be heard from the back row. But there’s the net. There’s always the net. I take a second step. And then a third--eyes focused on only one step ahead. 
And then the phantom of flame comes to claim me. Fire. The world around me is burning. Damning the consequences, I let my gaze fall to the world beneath me. The net--the Ringmaster had an Inferni light the net on fire. Via--that explains the look. 
I can’t fall--the guilt would kill Seria. 
Panic twists my stomach as I continue forward. One step ahead. One step ahead--the flames lick upwards, promising pain and grief all over again. One step ahead. One step--that’s all there is to it. The warmth of the fire calls to me. Burning. Burning--and one more step. This isn’t forever. This isn’t permanent--either way this will soon be over. 
There’s no miracle for me. No good grace, no wings that would let me save myself. There is only balance. 
One step ahead. And then another step. And then I see the other wooden platform. Thank the Saints. I grip the ladder of the platform as quickly as possible. The cheers mean nothing to me as I scurry down the ladder. 
I feel a sharp breeze, a Grisha putting out the flames. Anger pools in my chest as I move towards the exit of the tent. 
“Y/n.” No. Not him again. That man--Kaz, Dirtyhands, whoever he is--needs to go away. “Y/n.” I turn sharply, anger pulsing through me. My expression must be feral, because he stalls. “They didn’t tell you that they were going to burn the net.” 
The fact that he can tell--that he can see my panic and how close I came to death twists my anger into something more fragile. “No.” My posture straightens. “I need to go now, I do--I do readings after shows.”
“Y/n.” He repeats, firmer. 
My nails dig into my palms. “I’m going--” 
“I know what you are.” 
Tensing, my breathing stalls. “What?”
281 notes · View notes
icharchivist · 2 years
Note
In reference to the opinions re-blog, can you share one such opinion for GBF? Or just any fandom you have a tickle for.
HELPPP
I guess it's my heated "obviously it doesn't matter but i'm heated about it" opinions about gbf are like
... under cut because eventually i got heated (at least you can be sure i am serious about those "stupid things that gets me heated despite knowing it's stupid" lmao)
-GBVS only people who constantly ignores the mobage or act like it doesn't exist, even if it's because they genuinely don't know, gets on my nerves. Similarly recent people who went "i can't wait for relink because i don't want to touch the mobage" please don't. This also extends to people who spams my recommended with "lol granblue sucks it doesn't even have rollbacks" i wish you a very "never get rollbacks if you don't get out from my lawn."
-Seeds of Redemption wasn't THAT BAD everyone is just mean. It wasn't even bad and the vitriol against it when it came out has always puzzled me. Also lowkey holding Nehan and Mugen in my arms like "if you only bitched about SoR don't look at them" which is the pettiest i can get.
-Also the argument against SoR that Seofon is "too manipulative and heartless in it" gets on my nerve like, i've never read him as being heartless, and, "too manipulative"?? my dude how long ago is the last time you read the Eternal recruitment quest, this is Seofon alright. Are you woobifying him.
-Enyo is fine, let a girl be murderous once in a while. this one is weirdly petty bc i've first heard of Enyo when she joined the pool and i was seeing people get VERY upset in gbf en's mentions to the point of insulting them, and i was so confused about it. Then i could gather, from also friends who disliked her, that it was because "she was mean and cruel and wants to kill us and also she was awfully mean to Athena" and i was just "..... and? We all want to fuck Belial here what's the problem?" and i've been an Enyo apologist ever since. well. "apologist" in the sense "let a girl have fun even if this fun is murder, you don't complain when Belial does the same". So i'm weirdly defensive of Enyo despite the fact otherwise i couldn't care less because i do find Athena a bit boring DLKJFDKLF
-It's fine that an event isn't exploring more about the angels. Really. It's fine. If you only come back when there's angels content and ignore everything else perhaps it's a you problem when you get upset the angels content isn't that good
-Bitching every Autumn about the 4kishi getting an event is getting old, "others saga deserves spotlight!!" yeah but it's the oldest running saga leave them be it's just a tradition at this point
That's the things that comes to my mind at least, which is just that basically i am pretty chill until i start to see bad takes too much that i start to be defensive out of things i wouldn't have defended out of pure spite.
But i also recognize those are pretty inconsequential
(very different from getting angry about what i sometimes see about Ladiva or Cags which really put me in a rightful anger that i don't think is THAT inconsequential, tho that does goes back to my point 1) of i really wish gbvs only people to stop discussing whenever Ladiva and Cags are good or bad rep when they then get to answer to clarification by "oh my bad i don't know the game" then don't discuss about whenever they're good or not. I'm specifically vaguing someone who said Cags was bad rep because she was evil which had mobage fans going hey what the fuck you on.)
tho on "inconsequential topics that makes me heated regardless" in any fandom tends to be linked to any conversation about redemption arcs (but ESPECIALLY in slice of life stories) and conversation about true siblings dynamic. On the later i know it's because i have perhaps more serious biases, but you can be sure that generally if i see a post about whenever or not a chara deserves a redemption arc or if we should "accept" their redemption, or whenever i see posts about how "those siblings are unrealistic because they love each other" or "the big sibling doesn't behave like a big sibling" i want to throw tables at people's face and i think we should admire my incredible self control for generally just taking it quietly.
But like those people are generally joking around when they talk about those things so i don't want to be a killjoy either but also i'm just "kill kill maim kill" in my head when those happen. Duality of man ect.
Redemption talks generally annoys the hell out of me because framing an entire character on whenever the apology is acceptable with the situation bores the hell out of me. Genuinely the most boring way to approach a character ever. Like i could be saying something more in depth about how it's reductive of the narrative and frame the entire value of getting better on the person hurt and the apology rather than taking in the personal journey of someone who has to grow with the guilt of their actions, but, i'll just be brief and say i find the way people talk about it boring as hell. (which by the way i will NEVER forgive Zuko from atla for being the only basis of “acceptable redemption arc” for people out there. His arc was great but he’s not the only arc possible and everytime you bring him up as being the only valid redemption arc and directly compare one saying it’s bad in comparaison i hate Zuko a little bit more everyday. Which fucking sucks because i started off loving Zuko, people are just annoying.)
In another fandom i was in (1, 2, 3 moment before the people who still follow me from the fandom goes "i fucking knew Icha would bring it up") one of my fav character was also the most controversial one because he kidnapped MC in a fits of misdirected revenge against someone he cared about but had a misunderstanding with that made him think he ruined his life, so he basically blackmailed him until he realized he was hurting the only person he had left to care about and is now having to struggle with the guilt of his actions while being forcefully adopted in the found family of the person he kidnapped, to whom he ends up becoming extremely soft with despite this guilt toward what he had done to them when he lashed out from trauma, despite trying to distance himself from them because of his guilt.
And so, i love this character to bits, but going into his tags was impossible because of the fact people refuse to accept that he's trying to be better, and constantly throws back his crimes to his face and all of that, and every single time i freeze like "dude, he's done the absolute bare minimum to be a temporary antagonist, it could have been worse. in gbf where i'm from, there's a character who did all of that AND started an apocalypse AND tortured people AND tried to torture your bestie and he's the most popular character of the franchise". Because i dare you, nonny, to reread what i just wrote about my fav from this franchise and not see the exact same way to describe Sandalphon especially in the first wmtsb event.
I was throwing fits WEEKLY about how "oh you guys would not survive ONE MINUTE in gbf.". Now for the sake of "i don't like being angry", at least i don't pay it any mind anymore (my amazing trap cards of "i'm never going in the tags" and "i only seek contents from Japanese fanartists because at least if they have bad takes i can't read them unless i force myself to"), but all of this to say this is probably the last straw of a chara i kept hearing "he didn't even have a proper redemption arc" that annoyed me over the edge. he didn't have one TO YOU. To me tho i'm kissing him on the mouth.
MOVING ON, Genuinely tho i hold gbf in such high esteem for this specific reason, i was fucking tired of hearing the most boring arguments ever to shit on a character because they decide their redemption is not good enough (bc they're not wallowing in misery enough i guess?), that it made me appreciate how much nobody gives a shit about that in the gbf fandom. We stan so many murderers and we just say it's sexy and we move on and i find it soooo sexy.
For siblings stuff in general i'm just genuinely pissed off by the general idea that there is a "one shoe fits it all" of sibling dynamics and especially when it bashes others ones in media. On this one it's a bit more personal because i have such a weird relationship with my siblings that everytime i see those takes i just get angry. It can be argued that therefore it's not completely 'inconsequential" but sometimes i just get angry for no reasons too about how "wow you guys are sO boring of not being able to make JOKES over anything else than your comfort zone of this bubble of normalicy you impose on everyone, do you.". Like man talk about the death of creativity because you refuse to accept something doesn't follow the Only Trope You Ever Considered Realistic To You And No One Else.
Once again i never really saw it in gbf due to the fact we don't specifically have major siblings pair in focus in stories? like there's a few and sometimes they fall more into the bickering side anyway but people barely talk about them so i'm at peace. But you can be sure this would end up firing me up.
and on general topics i just don't care for woobification of characters who did commit crimes. I feel like it's an overcompensation because when people say some characters don't deserve redemption they always highlight the bad things they've done, and so, people, instead of realizing it means your outline for redemption is bad and you should feel bad, they interpret it as "then we have to prove the bad things weren't so bad". And no!!! the bad things were bad!!! regardless of the reasons reframe them but don't change that fact. It doesn't make them less good of characters or less worthy of redemption. That's what happened recently over a discussion over Seox on my blog where i was getting heated on the idea of saying he did nothing wrong. What a waste of a good character to say he did nothing wrong just because you can recognize that the circumstances were out of his control. Those aren't mutually exclusive. You can still do bad things and still fundamentally deserves to grow from it, and you can be pushed into making those bad things for good reasons but that doesn't make them less bad, it just means you have a better change to heal from it.
Basically i love fucksup characters who did so much wrongs and intends to do better, and the bigger the wrong the more involved i am, so genuinely the two takes of either they're unredeemable or they are a sweet angel that did nothing wrong don't sit right with me at all.
so this is a good extensive list of stuff that gets easily on my nerves on fandom spaces that, technically, doesn't matter, but is it going to stop me from having it ruining my day? who knows!
So i did get heated and i want to formally apologize if there's any of those points that rings toward anyone, as in, at the end of the day, people have fun in their own way and it's not my intention to police how anyone does it. I'm perfectly aware those are stupid enough like that, so as long as it's not like, something that's thrown in my askbox or something, you do you.
But since you asked..... salutes.
Here you go!
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potter-imagines · 3 years
Text
Being Thor and Loki's Little Sister and Dating Peter Parker Would Include...
Notes: wow I haven't written a marvel one in a long time pls don't read too much into the timeline lol I know things overlap but just go with it (:
Warnings: none... I think ??
Word Count: 3.6k (sorry its a bit long for a write like this but I couldn't help myself)
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You managed to do a decent job at keeping your relationship under wraps from your brothers for quite some time
Of course every other member on the team knew before the two of you even begun officially dating
Peter had spent three months ranting and raving to Tony Stark about how cute he thought you were and how much he liked you
Tony insisted time and time again he should tell you but Peter’s fear of rejection was much too large for him to find the courage for that
Unbeknownst to him,
You had spilled about your crush on Peter to Wanda and Nat almost a week after living in the compound
Being the only other girls there besides Pepper, it was easy to confide in them
Day after day you would wander to Wanda’s room and lay on her bed and gush about how handsome Peter was and how kind of a heart he had
Wanda found it adorable
And Bucky, Steve and Sam had placed the pieces together after days on end of watching Peter and yourself flirt like school kids in the gym during training
Even after being frozen for years, Steve recognized the look of smitten on Peter’s face when he talked to you
Bruce on the other hand had to sit through most of the kids talks with Tony in the lab so he figured it out fast
So when the two of you finally confessed your feelings for one another and Peter asked you out, there was only one road block holding the moment back from perfection
Your brothers
You and Peter shared the news with all the other team members expect the two, possibly most important in your case, members
You’ve been close to your brothers since you were brought into this world so it wasn’t like you didn’t want to tell them
It was more or less how overprotective they could be that made you bite your tongue
And as nervous as you are, Peter is 1,000% more worried about your brother’s finding out
Like honestly can you imagine how petrified Peter would be to tell Thor and Loki you two were dating
He’d purposely walk in the opposite direction every time he saw either of the two for the first week
Couldn’t stop fumbling with his words when he spoke to either of them
Like he was terrified
It’s sort of a cliché to have protective older brothers but older brothers who were also both Gods ????
Peter felt like a deadman walking
When the day finally came that you did tell your brothers about your relationship with Peter, it was absolutely cringe worthy
Peter had been coming home to the tower after a long day at Midtown High School when he spotted you the second he stepped foot out of the elevator
His excitement had clouded his judgement as he failed to check and see if the coast was clear
“Y/n! Hey!”
He nearly tumbled over his own feet as he rushed over to you
His face was gleaming with happiness and for a brief moment you felt a smile creep to your face until you were pulled back to reality by his hand reaching out to grasp yours
Your eyes widened in shock as you stared at Peter and before you could warn him to stop, he had planted a soft kiss on your cheek
That adorable smile was glowing from his face as he reached down for your hand only to fall once you pulled your hand away
He gave you a look of confusion, clearly surprised by your lack of response
But when an awkward cough sounded from behind him, he suddenly knew why
Peter didn’t have enough time to make any sort of a move when a husky, all too familiar voice spoke up,
“Hello, man of spiders. May I ask why you just kissed our little sister?” “Oh shit- I uh, well you see I…um...she had something on her face so I uh…”
Loki would snicker in amusement at seeing the boy squirm and prolong his torture “So you kissed her?” “Yeah…” “Hm, there something you’d like to share, little one?”
It wasn’t exactly the way you were hoping to break the news to your brothers
But it was certainly one way of doing it
The rest of the night was filled with awkward tension as you and Peter had to confess the truth to your brothers, who then made you share the news with the rest of the team
Thankfully, the rest of the team pretended they were just hearing about your new relationship for the first time, seeing as no one wanted to deal with an angry Thor
Now let’s get into your relationship with Peter
Peter Parker is the most caring person in the universe
Honestly
And dating him certainly came with it’s perks
You can expect to wake up every morning with a fresh coffee and a pastry on your nightstand, courtesy of Peter
He’ll also write you a sweet little ‘good morning’ note with a sketch of spider-man hanging from a web
(( he’s actually pretty talented in the doodling department ))
Makes cute sketches of him as spiderman and you as a princess ( vv fitting)
But also draws you as a total badass saving the galaxy bc… well you are
Count on him to be the first person to greet you when the sunrises and the last person to wish you a goodnight when it falls
Gets Mr. Stark to buy you an iphone so he can teach you how to use it
Has your name as “goddess” in his phone
The first thing he does is teach you about texting so he can pay you in imessage games
Refuses to play you in battleship since you somehow have crushed him every single time
Gets slightly annoyed with the overwhelming amount of random photos you snap of him
But he knows its all new to you and finds it irritatingly adorable
Loves it when you walk home with him from school
Will also keep reminding you that you shouldn’t have walked alone all the way to Midtown High School alone
Peter often forgets that you’re Asgardian and can protect yourself just fine
But it’s so cute how protective he is
He’s very observant and notices nearly everything
Like when you’re feeling a bit homesick
He picks up on it right away and will ask Thor and/or Loki for advice
Or when you start to become bored and tired at one of Star’s parties
Peter made his way over you before you even had the chance to turn and search for him
He’d escort you back to your room and lay with you until he was positive you had fallen asleep
Kisses to the top of your head
Is the boyfriend that will take your makeup off for you if you wear any
(( and sets yours lashes on the nightstand so neatly and labels which eye they were on cause the poor boy doesn’t understand ))
Spends weeks learning how to master the intricate braids that adorn your head
It’s so cute cause he’ll sit and look up Youtube videos and try to learn how to make the different braids and is just so confused but so determined
Taking Peter to visit Asgard
“Woah- this place looks like something from Lord of the Rings! It’s awesome!” “Lord of the Rings? I’ve never met that God.” “Uh, no, it’s a movie from Earth. We can watch it when we go back.” “To Midgard?” “Midgard? No, to New York.”
Loves it when your people refer to you as “Princess Y/n”
For some reason it makes him blush
Will tell everyone back on Earth that he’s dating a princess
I could def see Peter getting annoyed and frustrated with the Asgardian men trying to flirt and win your heart
Although that’s something that already belong to Peter
And even though Peter trusts you entirely
He’s still insecure from time to time
Especially when he sees how much taller and stronger Asgardian men look in comparison to him
But he finds reassurance in the feeling of your hand in his and the gleeful smile adorning your face as you show him around your homeland
Attempting to help Peter study
Although you’re not much help to Midgardian school work “Peter, darling, I don’t have a clue what a watergate is and I haven’t an idea how that could be scandalous.”
Maths however you excelled in
And Peter was thoroughly surprised to find you had the sequence of PI memorized to the one hundredth number- and in song form
Holding your hand 24/7
Endless cuddles on the couch
And when you’re walking around together, he does that thing where he swings your hands and back forth
Movie theater dates… at the tower b/c your brothers feel the need to be in close proximity the you guys at all times
Trying ice cream for the first time with Peter at two in the morning
One of Peter’s favorite things to do with you is take you through a walk in his world
At least three times a week Peter and you will walk around the city and find new things your Asgardian self has yet to experience
Like pizza
New York pizza to be exact
And hot chocolate
Ice skating at Rockefeller Center once the weather got cold
Loves to take you for drives in the more woodsy land of New York once fall set in and the leaves began to change
But by far his favorite thing is showing you Midgardian films and movies of all sorts
He loves that you don’t judge him for nerding out over his love for films
Not to mention you actually sit and watch Star Wars with him
(( maybe it was the whole space element but Peter was just thrilled you liked it ))
But then he shows you ‘Alien’
And it was an instant regret
It took him the rest of the night to convince you that the movie was fake
You made him sleep in your room just for reassurance
Your favorite out of the films Peter played was called ‘Toy Story’
Buzz Lightyear reminded you of Thor
In terms of TV shows
F.R.I.E.N.D.S. which quickly became your guys comfort show
Parks & Rec too “That Andy fellow looks an awful lot like Starlord, don’t you think?”
Peter refuses to let you watch Black Mirror
After the whole incident with Alien
Black Mirror didn’t seem like a good idea
Constantly teasing from the rest of the Avengers
Tony just can’t help it
He loves tormenting the two of you
Especially when Thor and/or Loki are around
“Hey Peter, I thought I saw you go into Y/n’s room last night but I didn’t see you leave until the morning. Heard a lot of noise too- thought Y/n was getting attacked. What was that about?”
Or
“Kid, I got you those condoms you asked for. How’d you manage to run out of that last box so quick? I just bought it for you a week ago!” “Messing with you, they’re just sugar packets- Thor put Peter down right now!”
Aunt May absolutely adores you
Always tells Peter how sweet you are and is constantly inviting you over for dinner
Lets you two have sleepovers in his room at her place
As long as the door stays open
Peter can’t stop laughing when you compliment May on her ability to make an amazing bowl of cereal
She thought it was a joke seeing as she burned dinner the night before to a crisp and laughs until she’s in tears
And you’re literally sitting there so confused, clearly not understanding the joke
Peter then takes you on a trip to a grocery store for the first time to show you a whole aisle full of cereal
It is then that you realize Aunt May didn’t hand make the fruity pebbles
She still laughs about it to this day
Befriending Ned and listening enthusiastically while he gives you a full speech on the franchise Star Wars
And his rant on how terrible Star Trek is in comparison
Is shocked when you ask questions out of genuine interest
Ned immediately takes a liking to you after that and asks Peter daily to invite you to hangout
Whenever Stark adds an upgrade to his suit, you’re the first person Peter shows it to
He shares quite literally everything with you
As do you to him
The rest of the Avengers love gossiping about you guys
Nat and Wanda have already started planning the wedding and Pepper has the perfect venue in mind, much to your brothers dismay
For some reason
Thor and Loki are always within reasonable distance, enough so they can keep an eye on you but also give some sense of privancy
Thor is def always the first one to step in
“Peter, please remove your hand from my sister’s behind.” “Oh uh, ye-yeah… sorry, Mr.Thor.”
Loki would find Peter amusing
He loves to mess with him whenever given the chance
“Ah, Peter. Good to see you. I’m sure Y/n informed you of our task today. Very impressed that you offered yourself as the sacrifice to the aliens-” “Wait, what? Y/n?!” “He’s kidding, Peter.”
Everyone in the Avenger’s tower knew Peter was lactose intolerant and knew the repercussions of the boy consuming any sort of dairy
(( he physically cannot leave the bathroom for a full day ))
Yet Loki regularly will swap Peter’s specially labeled almond milk with a jug of skim milk just for the hell of it
There’s something so hilarious to him about the look of panic and alarm that smacks abruptly across Peter’s face as he quickly stumbles out of the kitchen to his room
It keeps him laughing for days
You’ll just shoot your brother a look of disapproval, clearly certain it was his doing
“Loki, why did Peter run off?” “Not sure, darling sister, maybe he’s got one of those stomach bugs. I’ve heard Midgardians are prone to them…weak bodies and such.” "You switched out his milk again didn’t you.” “I haven’t the slightest clue what you’re accusing me of, little one.”
Thor is a bit more hesitant on accepting your relationship with his fellow Avenger
He trusts that Peter would never harm you
Although he did not trust that you would never be harmed because of Peter
It was risky enough that both your brothers were big names in space, as well on Earth, however
Thor knew Loki and himself were capable of protecting you but Peter?
He was just a kid, in Thor’s eyes
However the one thing that kept him from telling you this was seeing how happy Peter made you
As your older brother, Thor trusted your judgement and tried his best to be accepting of his little sister dating
And as much as he wanted to deny it, he saw crystal clear the care and love Peter gave to you and he wasn’t willing to break that for you
Still
Thor is the type of brother to barge into a room and shove himself between Peter and yourself without warning
This man does not care at all
At least Loki has the decency to give you two space as a couple
Thor does not
He is constantly third wheeling on your dates and will ‘accidentally’ walk into rooms he knows you two are in claiming he forgot something
Not that he ever grabs anything,
He’ll usually just stand and stare at the two of you until you either leave the room or ask him to leave
To which he always answers,
“No.”
But with a smile
A smug smile
PDA is something he will never be okay with
Thor will yank Peter back by the collar every time he sees his lips on yours and glare at him, “Man of spiders, I know you’re in love with my little sister but kissing her infront of me is too far.”
And Loki will physically gag just to piss you off
For the most part, your relationship with Peter is nearly perfect
It would be entirely perfect if you weren’t constantly worrying about him dying on a mission or getting hurt
But still, just like any couple, you had your moments
And when you did fight, it was typically over Peter’s safety or him not wanting you to tag along for a mission
Your common way of dealing with conflict was the silent treatment
Which is pure torture for Peter
Not only does he miss the sound of your voice
He misses having you around
Seeing your smile
Hearing you laugh from something he said
He felt terrible everytime
He’d go to Tony for advice and spend hours rambling on to him about how sorry he was for yelling at you and for adding to the fight
Tony would half listen while he worked away on a new system and suit, offering a ‘yeah’ and ‘hmm’ every few seconds which pleased Peter who thought his mentor was fully listening
And after almost two hours of his non-stop talking, Tony Stark had reached his limit
Setting his wrench down on the metal table with a thud he turned around to face the young boy
“Kid, why’re you saying all this to me and not her? I mean, I’m all ears but I’m also not Y/n. I know we’re both good looking so I can see why you mixed us up, but you should be talking to her right now.”
Similar to Peter you also had someone to confide in when the road got rocky
Loki had always been the one you shared all your secrets with
As children you were attached at the hip to both your brothers but Loki a smidgen more than Thor
Your father, Odin, had Thor at his side 24/7 growing up
While he was busy learning the ropes to ruling Asgard, Loki and yourself run amuck causing trouble left and right through the royal palace
Through the years of bonding Loki become your best friend, and you his
So when trouble struck in paradise, your older brother was the one you ran to
He’d welcome you with open arms and a questioning gaze
Loki is by far the best listener in your family
Instead of telling you what to do, he asks what you want, which is a refreshing change
After a long talk with Loki you’d search the tower high and low for Peter while ironically Peter was doing the same thing
When you did finally make-up, it felt like coming home
The apologies were so sincere and genuine
You’d end up having a sleepover in your room watching 80’s films that Peter claimed were ‘iconic’ and laying in his arms
And that’s where you felt complete
Fights never occurred often but bickering ???
DAILY
You two bickered playfully over everything under the sun
Like who’s the better superhero; Ironman or Captain American
Or
Debates between living in New York and living in Asgard
Loves to pull up Midgardian inventions and ask you to guess what it is “Princess, what do you think this is?” “Oh! Oh! I’ve seen this one! Tony has one in his kitchen!” “Okay, so what is it?” “Yes, it’s a chicken nugget maker!” “It’s actually an air fryer but we only ever make chicken nuggets in them so I’ll give you a half point.”
Peter sneaking out of your room at the crack of dawn and sprinting to his
As much as Thor and Loki liked him and supported the relationship
He was sure they’d both team up to murder him if they caught him sleeping in your bed
Steve and Tony, who seem to be incapable of sleep, have watched him tiptoe out of your room numerous times but they only share a look of amusement then go back to their previous discussion
Playing hide-n-go-seek and tag on rainy days at the tower
Cuddling in Peter’s bed while he asks you to tell him stories about Asgard
Loves hearing about your childhood and what it’s like to grow up with siblings
Is fascinated when you tell him about Heimdall
Stealing Peter’s hoodies
Especially his Midtown High School ones
They’re insanely soft
Sweet little kisses throughout the day
He's just so sweet and gentle
Loves getting to hold you and snuggle in his bed
Most weekends you spend lounging on the couch with Peter’s head in your lap while you play with his hair
Other times you’re sitting next to Peter on his bed watching him play some video game and asking a million questions “Who is that man, Peter?” “That’s me, he’s the main character of the game. That’s Mario, babe.” “You’re not Mario- you’re Peter.” “No, the main character of this game is Mario, I’m just playing him.” “Oh… and what is that green dinosaur creature?” “That’s Yoshi!” “Adorable.”
Making out between games
In terms of... y'know... sex
Neither of you were keen on rushing the process
You had tip toed on the line multiple times yet never fully crossed it
Until you had decided to make the first real move after being together for about five months
You trusted him with all your heart so it wasn't exactly scary, but rather exciting
He had a way of making you feel safe, comfortable, and loved all at once
Lets be honest, Peter nearly fainted the first time he saw you naked
And still, no matter how many times the two of you have sex,
He worships every inch of you like it was your first time all over again
You couldn't have asked for a better lover
Dating Peter means a new adventure everyday
You’re constantly learning new things about each other and from each other
Despite coming from two very different worlds
You’ve never felt more connected to a soul until Peter came along
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rotshop · 3 years
Note
*slams into your inbox* I just read through mag reader and Deimos headcanons again and I love it. I would def be interested in seeing more! (Also are you sure you don’t wanna hold his hand? Even just a little?) -Echo
gonna do a funney little mix of ideas here ,,,,, lol ,,,,,,,, also yes i am sure <333 i go 'hey check out this funny fish' and then i hold his head underwater.
[ tw brief, light violence, body horror and gore / blood ]
context
auditor + mag s/o ;
-OK OK HEAR ME OUT .
-you weren't originally an aahw project. while they're definitely the biggest company of sorts around there's still a few others that are like them but not exactly them hanging around nevada. you happened to be in some facility they decided to raid due to them having some possibly useful information regarding the anti-aahw . she's definitely a little less than enthused to get a call from her agents that she should come check this out but ,, when she lays her eyes on u that immediately melts away
-he's VERY very curious about you. keeps you close which is kind of nice bc it means you're treated pretty well but also it means a lot of being watched. audi just has like. a habit of unconsciously ''''''''studying'''''''' you. they're always noting little behaviors of yours down mentally and asking you little questions abut how you came to be and what abilities you hold.
-believe it or not he actually DOESN'T want you in fights. she knows you're incredibly capable but the thought of you getting too involved in a bunch of clawing and tearing again makes her get uneasy. she just prefers for you to stay by her side, with the excuse that you're a body guard of sorts for her (you aren't, she's got several other, more disposable mags that serve that role just fine.).
-HOWEVER. there is one time where he doesn't get an option in that. a few contractees and dissenters attempted a raid on the base audi was at, hoping to try and get some sort of bargaining chip to make deal with. before they can even really attempt to try and land some sort of hit on them you're already pouncing on the nearest grunt, blood already spurting and painting the walls red in mere seconds of your arrival. it honest to god shocks her into stillness, her just watching motionlessly the entire time, only really moving once to dodge some limb you'd mindlessly thrown her way after tearing it from its socket. WHILE SHE IS IMPRESSED ,,, she still scolds you a little for being reckless while trying to scrub the blood off of you with a wet rag, huffing that 'you could've gotten seriously hurt' if you were any less careful >:/
-however he does do the thng where he like. cups both sides of your face and then presses his forehead against yours. you have to lean down a lot for him to do so but still. sighs a little while brushing his thumb under your eyes and tells you to be more careful from now on.
-auditor is not immune to favoritism and it shows. someone brings it up (shakily, of course) and she just shrugs and goes 'idk what you're talking abt' while petting you who's got your head on her lap. said person promptly gets 'dismissed' after.
-hates whenever anyone tries to put some kind of muzzle on you, even if its just for the jaw dislocation thingy it still makes him go kind of '>:|' . he'll let them for like. a day at MOST (unless you keep trying to get it off, then chances are he's just gonna take it off for you. nobody really bothers asking / trying to get it back on you bc he just sends them a sharp little glare before they even can. if you REALLY need it that bad then he might try and convince you to keep it on a little longer or otherwise take your mind of it, he still feels really bad about it tho . )
sanford + mag s/o ;
- :)
-you two knew each other before he dissented / you became a mag. worked pretty close together and were just close in general !! you didn't know dei super super well since he worked in a different area but you two met a few times and hit it off pretty well.
-anyway ! he doesn't take your magnification well. at all. the first few times he saw you after it were the worst, mostly because those few times were primarily because you were lashing out at agents for one reason or another (mostly maltreatment from guards / people being shitty in general) . for the first while its so obvious that you're just exhausted from what's happened to your body that was NOT meant to become this, that you're tired and on edge from not being allowed any real rest. it makes him feel fucking terrible to see how awful of a state you're in and know that there's next to nothing he can really do to help.
-it especially hits him when he notices the other little changes. there's some specific moment where he's holding onto you far too tightly, clutching at the back of your jacket while he does his best to keep composed. you always had this habit of giving a half jokey hum of some stupid little joke or even just a 'what's wrong, big guy?' whenever he seemed off or tense, he can't help but make note of the lack of real response from you in the moment other than you wrapping your arms around him as well. another time, maybe he tries to make some little inside joke after something reminded him of it, looking back at you with a little smile. it hits him with a special punch to the gut when he notices your confusion, you just can't recognize it. you don't remember it anymore. you don't remember a lot of your old self or interactions anymore.
-you two end up getting split up at one point or another. orginally, he'd planned to run away with you and deimos buut,,, one way or another, you weren't really able to get out. he goes looking for you a bunch but eventually he has to stop when it gets to be too much and he can't find any real sign of you, he's quiet for a long time after it.
-HOWEVER . he does eventually find you in some abandoned warehouse him and the others had planned to look for supplies in. the entire time he's in there he keeps hearing sounds he thinks are just dei or hank but every time he asks or comments on it they just give him a look of confusion or a little 'what are you talking about?' it puts him really on edge, it's worse when he's in one of the further corners, digging through a few boxes and desperately trying to ignore how much it feels like someones there. anyway umm lol its just you ,,,, ehe . it takes him a solid minute to process that its you but as soon as it clicks he's yelling your name and running up to hug you. doesn't even stop to think that you could totally tear him a new one right then and there he's just too happy to see you. dei and hank both come rushing over after hearing him, dei recognizes you too and is just kinda 'oh hey !! friend !! :D' while hank stands there and just kinda stares.
-is able to take you back to base without too much argument from the others. he does his best to fill you in on everything that's happened in hopes you'll explained what happened on your part too. even if you don't he can't be too upset since he's just too gd happy to see you again ,,,, chances are you stick around him a lot . deimos is nice but u don't remember him super well and hank makes you uneasy lmao . its ok he thinks its funny though, just laughs a little whenever you stand in his doorway in silence until he notices you :)
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burneddownthegym · 3 years
Note
When do you think Buffy and Spike started developing feelings for each other? I think for Spike it started in season 2 which has been kind of confirmed by Dru, but what about Buffy? Their relationship seemed to change after Spike let Glory torture him to protect Dawn, but I like to believe Buffy had unregistered feelings for Spike way earlier. I don’t know what’s true though. She let him live many times when she shouldn’t and that could just be the writers wanting to keep Spike but it could also be read as Buffy not wanting to kill him for some reason. If I were Buffy I would have at least been attracted to him from the start but I’m not Buffy. What do you think?
oh god. i started writing this and it just got more and more unhinged until i was left with a novel. but here’s my headcanon under the cut.
i think for spike it started in season 2, yeah. kind of immediately. i mean in his second episode he already has like ten tv’s mounted on the ceiling to obsessively watch buffy fight? ok weirdo. obviously the writers weren’t planning on spuffy at the time but it all fits with the dru retcon in “fool for love”. i think any feelings he had were super repressed in him for a while though, and were probably closer to obsession than anything (where does one draw the line between obsession and love? much to think about!!). tbh, and maybe this is controversial, i kind of think it’s not until “intervention” that he really understands just how in love with her he is, or what it really means to be in love with her. he definitely thinks he’s in love, he has a raging, identity-crisis crush, but i don’t know, something just feels different after that episode. i feel like it’s when his feelings for buffy really become less about him and more about her. like, less about having her or wanting her to recognize him, and more about wanting to be what she actually needs. less about *loving* buffy and more about loving *buffy*, maybe. so even though his feelings before then are real, they feel real in a different way to me after “intervention”.
buffy is harder. personally, i don’t think she was ever consciously attracted to spike until maybe s5. (buffy being immediately attracted to him in fic is actually a huge pet peeve for me; it doesn’t feel in character at all and can even make me stop reading). i think there was latent attraction, but spike was just so far outside the bounds of who she thought she would be attracted to that it doesn’t register that way (reason #34095 spuffy is a lesbian ship, obv. also it’s why her being attracted to him immediately can turn me off in fic, bc it makes the relationship feel less gay, and that’s kind of important to me). i think she finds him tacky and annoying and lame and just not a sexual object. he’s a soulless vampire and you don’t sexualize those. and so anything sexual she felt toward him she dismissed the way you might dismiss a weird sex dream about someone you’d never want in real life (jane espenson apparently had notes on her desk pre-s5 saying buffy had sex dreams about him, which i totally buy, especially after “something blue”). i think one of the reasons she freaks out so bad in “crush” is that suddenly spike isn’t in the non-sexualizable category anymore. like, what, vampires and slayers are sexualizing each other now? like in real life not just innuendo? you broke the rules, what am i supposed to do now? it’s why she’s so weirded out when he tries to kiss her in “fool for love” and goes on about how people can’t love without a soul in “crush”. spike isn’t fitting his sexual category and she doesn’t know how to deal with it so she tries to stuff him back in. long story short, i think it’s only after “crush” that she actually consciously thinks about his attractiveness, because before then he just wasn’t someone on the table for her to think about that way.
(oh i should also add—i think spike’s “crush” moment with buffy is “who are you?” when faith comes onto him. because it was sort of a similar thing for him. even though he was attracted to buffy before that episode, it was something he repressed or treated as kind of a game. innuendo and eroticism as a battle tactic but not something you’d actually follow through on in real life. but he thinks buffy breaks the rules in “who are you?” and suddenly makes herself real-life sexualizable. so i think his attraction becomes more conscious after that, even if he’s still trying to act like it’s something that disgusts him, like buffy post-“crush”.)
(also, this is why it’s so easy to read violence and murder as sublimated desire in a gay way with spuffy. it’s not really about murder and violence. it’s about them expressing romantic/erotic desire within the bounds of what their roles allow, because they can’t conceive of each other in other roles.)
but i do think buffy did still have some sort of draw to spike before s5. i feel like instinctually she saw him as more of a person than other vampires pretty early. definitely not consciously, and definitely wasn’t love. but she talks to him like he’s a really annoying guy more than she talks to him like some sort of mindless enemy. she doesn’t bother telling other soulless vampires that she violently dislikes them, or mock them about their breakups. i think the only other soulless vampires she sort of treats that way are harmony and holden in cwdp, which makes sense since both of those are vampires she knew before they were vamped. she didn’t kill harmony either, and wasn’t excited about having to kill holden. but spike is the only “stranger” vampire she sees that way, and i think that’s interesting! i think a lot of her conflict over him is due to this too, tbh. he instinctually feels like both a person and not-a-person to her, and that’s hard for her to process.
i have zero canon to back this up, but i think the first time buffy kind of sort of falls in love with spike is in “the gift”, when he says he’d protect dawn until the end of the world. i mainly think this because i don’t think it can be understated how important dawn is to buffy, or how telling it is that she kisses spike in “intervention”. other people have said this, but she just doesn’t kiss people every time they do something nice for her. i don’t think she would have done that unless she felt some sort of latent *something* for him, and unless he’d done something that really deeply affected her. him being willing to sacrifice himself for dawn’s sake, or protect her above all, affects buffy first: because of how self-sacrificing she is. she’s always the one who has to die or put herself on the line for other people. and second: she’s the only one who cares about dawn the way she does. no one else goes into a coma or threatens giles or vows to protect her until the end of the world…except spike.
so the fact that spike would understand the self-sacrificial and protecting-dawn parts of her, or help her with them in the same unthinkingly committed way, when no one else is, i think hits her where she lives. he understands and is not just supporting, but *embodying* this hugely important thing to her at the time when it counts the most. so she falls a bit in love with him. maybe just a second, or a minute, and then she ignores it and saves the world. but that’s the first time it happens.
then as far as s6 goes, i pretty much take buffy at her word when she says she has feelings for him, but that they’re not love. i think she has really intense and confusing emotions around him and for him, but they just don’t cohere into something that could be called something clear-cut like love. and that’s sort of the tragedy of that season? it has all the potential and intensity and chemistry for love, but she doesn’t like or trust herself and she doesn’t trust him, and he isn’t in a place where he can understand the guilt and self-hate she’s going through, or be moral without her guidance, and so in a lot of ways her lack of trust really is justified. so it just can’t quite reach the realness of love, where you want and want to care for the other person’s whole self. but (adding this edit based on a comment by marinxttes!), i totally agree that a lot of her breakup with spike is about her feeling enough for him that it doesn’t feel right to use him anymore. i think that’s the decisive moment when she stops being confused about whether he is or isn’t a person (and whether *she* is or isn’t), and decides he is one. maybe not one she thinks she can love yet, but one she genuinely cares about doing right by, and that’s a huge shift.
i believe her in s7 too when dawn asks if she loves him and she says she feels for him. i don’t know when exactly that whole mess starts cohering into something that really is love for buffy, but i feel like it’s happening the whole season. like air condensing into water. all the pieces have been there, amorphously, for a long time, and finally they’re allowed to take form. so when she says “i love you” in “chosen”, it’s at once something new, and also something that’s been there all along.
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adorejemily · 2 years
Text
LONGING |
->jemily
->fluff bc i've written enough pain
-> barista!JJ
Not everyone understood Emily the way her best friend did. And not everyone needed to understand her in that way. It was like she was made for JJ, like she was only created and placed on this Earth for JJ to understand.
Well, maybe, just maybe, that was an exaggeration.
JJ was not her best friend. She was actually the cute barista that never got her drink right. Emily knew her name was JJ because her coworkers always call her that.
Emily was fascinated with her because, even though she got the same thing every morning - simple Americano - the blonde still manages to get it wrong. So wrong that one time JJ got her hot chocolate. Not so similar, Emily thinks.
But it's adorable, so Emily keeps drinking awful drinks every morning.
"I miss coffee, Garcia", she confessed to her best friend. Her real best friend.
"Don't tell me that, you're the one that's drinking flavored water every morning just because you're in love"
"I'm not in love, Penelope", she protested.
"From the way that you're acting, if I didn't know you, I'd say you're a stalker"
"Okay, so, maybe I am in love. What now?"
Usually, this was the end of the conversation. Garcia would advise Emily to actually talk to the cute barista, Emily would say "no" and they would continue talking about other things.
On the other side of their story, JJ was running out of ideas for new drinks for Emily. She wasn't stupid, Americano is not that hard to make. In reality, all she wanted to do was make Emily notice her. She even payed Derek, her good friend and also colleague, to call her name as much as possible when her special client was there.
She just wished Emily would care enough to say something. The first time she did it, she just thought Emily was just way too nice to say something. But, JJ thought, even nice people scream at cute baristas sometimes.
Or so she thought.
After the third time, JJ was confused. She had two scenarios in her head. One, Emily was not in fact ordering the drinks for herself and the person who got the wrong drinks didn't bother to change them. Two, she just couldn't care less.
JJ really hoped it was the first one.
Their routine was the same every morning: Emily entered the coffee shop at 7:45 am, ordered a large Americano, JJ took her sweet time preparing something completely different, gave Emily her drink, Emily thanked and smiled at her and and after Emily was gone, JJ watched her through the window to see if she notices her new drink.
Every morning was the same until now. JJ waited and waited for Emily to stop by. It was already 8:30 am and the brunette was nowhere to be seen.
After a few more hours of waiting, JJ had 10 more minutes of her shift and Emily just now entered the coffee shop. She offered JJ her best smile and the butterflies the girl felt didn't hurry to disappear.
This time JJ was going to talk to her.
"Hi?"
Emily wasn't sure what to say, considering the fact that JJ said that as a question.
"Okay"
Emily provided herself with a trusty old mental face-palm and decided to fix this.
"I meant, hi. Good afternoon"
JJ just giggled and smiled at the girl.
"What can I get you?"
"The usual, a large Americano. Oh, but this time? Please make it Americano, I haven't drank coffee in way too much time and I feel like I'm going crazy"
JJ froze. So she did notice. Wasn't she mad? Why wasn't she mad? Why was she so calm?
"I'm....I'll be back with your coffee"
After a few moments of waiting, there she was. Emily could recognize that cup everywhere, it was the coffee cup this coffee shop used.
"God, thank you. You just saved me"
JJ, still shocked and confused, didn't know what to say so she just nodded. As Emily was approaching the door, JJ's alarm went off. Her shift was over.
A rush of adrenaline ran over her and she quickly felt herself removing her cap and apron, moving towards Emily.
"I'm sorry, why did you do that?"
"Wha-"
Without thinking about it, Emily turned so fast to see what the girl wanted, her coffee spilled all over them.
"Fuck. The only time I'm getting coffee and I end up spilling it everywhere."
"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, sorry I should've been more caref-"
"Wait, no, JJ is it?" Emily asked like she didn't said that name at least 10 times in her head every day.
"Yeah, yeah"
"Don't apologize, I was the one that turned around way too fast. I'm sorry. Let me help you clean that?"
"Oh? Okay, I guess"
JJ didn't know how to feel. This was their first time talking to each other and she didn't want it to be the last.
After getting some paper towels, they decided to sit at a small table in the far left corner of the coffee shop. While JJ was wearing her usual black clothing, Emily was rocking a white shirt, now painted with a very fine, artistic brown colored pattern.
"Let me help you, please"
JJ just nodded so now, a very flushed Emily, was trying her hardest not to focus on JJ but to focus on her shirt.
"You come here often", JJ said in order to make a little small talk.
"Only every morning since I moved" Emily smiled while looking at the girl.
"This morning? Had something more important to do?"
"It's a long story. But, I'm glad I decided to come either way, I was going to go straight home"
"And then you decided to come here and finally confront me about the coffee errors" JJ smiled and leaned back a little so Emily could get to her neck area.
"Finally? What do you mean finally?" Emily suddenly stopped and tried piecing every thing together.
"I've been getting your orders wrong every morning, Emily. I waited for you to say something but I guess you're just too nice"
Emily tossed the paper towel on the table and looked into JJ's eyes. They were so blue, so calming. They weren't like the angry sea, it was more like a really warm summer sky.
"Well, I guess it's time to say something now. How about a date?"
JJ froze for a second. The confident persona she had going on until this moment was slowly going away and her usual shy self came back.
"A date?"
"Yeah, I was thinking about a picnic maybe? And some painting if you're into that?"
JJ's heart melted. The girl was definitely happy with her decision to get Emily's orders wrong now.
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