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#bc if you ask jiang cheng if he loved his mother he will say yes. he will think about the murky waters of that love
sodrippy · 3 years
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how many times do you think jiang cheng asks for yanli’s forgiveness? for failing her and zixuan, for failing their son over and over, every time he yells instead of comforts, spits harsh words instead of praise. how many times does he whisper a sorry for not giving his nephew the love he deserves? the love his parents would have showered upon him, the kind that maybe would have made him softer in the same way that yanli’s love smoothed out jiang cheng’s rough edges, and could have made it easier for jin ling to grow up in this world.
how often do you reckon he thinks about what he’s inflicted on jin ling, the same poisonous love that his mother injected into him, and how often does he worry that jin ling loves jiang cheng the way jiang cheng loves his own mother, in that twisted awful way that makes him cycle through hate and guilt and shame and desperate need for affection? how sick does that make him feel? does the guilt make him avoid the shrine, unable to face his sister’s horror and anguish at how badly he’s done, or does he go there daily as penance? how many shards of broken glass are glued together to make up jiang cheng?
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plan-d-to-i · 2 years
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you probably already talked about it, but i really need to know further about this topic
Jiang YanLi
I don't really know what to think about... her. I have several reasons to dislike her, but I also have a lot of reasons to think that she is not bad if compared to the rest of the Jiangs. people say that she liked wwx better, but it just doesn't make sense to me. i have no clue about how far I can protect her bc of her ignorance, bc she wasn't aware of a bunch of stuff because I have no clue of how much she actually knew. she indeed loved wwx and treated him good, but love alone isn't enough. lack of action— no, actions that would get things worse, such as fucking marrying into the very sect that wanted her beloved a-xian's head on a platter, to rob his inventions and to attack the 50 people he was strugling to protect. people that she didn't really did anything to try to save as well. she also didn't try her best to save wwx. I see a lot on fanfics or fanon headcanons that she was So Worried About Her Baby Brother 💔 when in fact she acted as if everything was normal. as if her soup would fix things. wwx himself says that lwj keeps on reminding him how everything is different now the only person who was actually freaking out to keep wwx safe. the one and only who was concearned and actually cared. she acts so... naturally. wwx also does everything he does bc of his instincts and jc couldn't care less as long as wwx won the fucking war. it's clear he's done reckless things to protect them before.
also... her relationship with each brother. why is she constantly asking wwx to stop? to "get it aside?" since their very first strong connection, she was there bc jc didn't want to be in trouble and wanted wwx to not to say anything about their fight.
I don't know how much she didn't know about politics, I know it was very little, but I cannot believe she is that stupid. she is such an aNgEL to wwx that... she scapes from further analysis. i just... I don't know. what do you think of her?
— mlisz
I think the reason YanLi can feel hard to pin down is because there are two versions of her. The version WWX sees and presents to us through rose tinted glasses because she's the only person to show him warmth in the Jiang household; and YanLi's actual character/ actions in the story: a kind but mediocre girl who preferred to remain naive and pretend everything was ok, who just wanted everyone to put on a smile, and whose main concern was getting married;
In many respects Wei Wuxian's relationship with YanLi is loving but shallow because he can't really share his troubles with her. Her way of relating to others is by mothering them. I know a lot of people complain that she was shoved into this role, but it just seems to be her natural way of showing her affection for others. So for her contentment WWX is happy to act like a kid. In that way the dynamic between them feels somewhat performative on his part.
"Jiang YanLi passed a handkerchief for Wei WuXian to wipe his mouth, “Is it good?”
Wei WuXian didn’t take the handkerchief. Instead, he pouted his mouth with exaggeration, “Yes!”
Jiang Cheng, “Don’t you have hands yourself?!”
With a smile, Jiang YanLi wiped Wei WuXian’s mouth and chin, and walked happily out with the bowl in her hands.
She makes soup for him and shows him a nurturing warmth and in exchange he acts like everything is ok and keeps smiling for her and embraces the only qualities she has: cooking soup, mothering and appeasement. That dynamic is set up from the start when she praises him after he takes the blame for getting injured squarely on his shoulders.
“Seeing how worried he seemed, Wei WuXian took the initiative, “Relax. I won’t tell Uncle Jiang. I only hurt myself because I suddenly wanted to climb a tree last night.”
Hearing this, Jiang Cheng sighed in relief. He swore, “You can relax as well. Anytime I see a dog, I’ll chase it away for you!”
Seeing how the two finally made up with each other, Jiang YanLi cheered, “That’s the spirit.”
It also feels like once the main subject of her affection shows her attention she sort of forgets about everything else. I mean Jin Zixuan is the heir of the family that wants Wei Wuxian dead... but when she finally communicates with Wei Wuxian after his defection it's to show off her wedding dress for her impending wedding to the man and expects WWX to rejoice... On top of that she doesn't ask once how he's doing. Doesn't think to bring him one thing other than soup. She's helped out in the camps during the war so regardless of how immensely ignorant and sheltered she may be she has to at least have SOME idea of the fact that people need food and shelter that and generally requires a form of payment. Again people will be like she was poor! She didn't have her own money! Even if she didn't have one penny to spare as the sister of a CLAN LEADER of one of the richest Clans, this is a point where she could have told jiang cheng to give Wei Wuxian silver in front of her and go off on him if he didn't. Hell she had jewelry! Qiankun bags are a thing. It's absurd to act like there was nothing she could do other than show WWX her fit. But she didn't. She preferred everything swept under the rug. Her big wedding dress reveal is a farce of caring. Wei Wuxian knows his part. Be grateful for the soup, admire the dress and act like everything is fine. And as always she downplays jiang cheng's temper and snide comments and asks of Wei Wuxian to compromise around it.
"Both of you can stop fooling around. I brought soup for you two. Wait a second.”
The thing is Wei Wuxian wasn't fooling around. jc was being nasty. She takes a bowl of soup to Wen Ning... a fierce corpse who can't eat even though she grew up in a cultivation Clan... She doesn't however ask Wen Ning to stay inside the courtyard. She let jiang cheng rudely kick him out... That's almost like her entire behavior in a nutshell. Appease jc and apply soup.
Wen Qing on the other hand lived her whole life aiming to protect Wen Ning but then went with him so they could turn themselves in in the hopes of making things better for Wei Wuxian. This was not an impulsive act. It was discussed, it was though through, consciously decided with a cool head and full knowledge of the fatal consequences.
When Yanli she makes her ill fated run to Nightless city it's clear she's not in her right mind. It's interesting that the two times the jiang siblings moved to protect Wei Wuxian was when they'd lost something major, whereas the Wen siblings risked the height of their privilege to help. I've also seen people write that "YanLi even forgave Wei Wuxian for Zixuan's death" but we're not told that at all
“Jiang YanLi, “I’m… I’m here to tell you…”
To tell him what? That it’s fine? That I don’t hate you? That everything is fine?That I don’t blame you for have killed Jin ZiXuan? It was impossible.
But she couldn’t say anything that was the opposite either. And so, she didn’t know what else she could say to Wei Wei WuXian, under such circumstances.
She saw him and ran after him without thinking to see him one last time, but she asks him to stop fighting against all the people who would kill him.
With a sigh, Jiang Yanli said, "Axian, you... stop first. Don't do it again, don't..."
Idk what her thinking is here but she's definitely not treating him like he's the one who was ambushed and walked in on a party cheerfully moodboarding his murder. YanLi is not an evil person and she benefits from the contrast with her foul mother and brother but she's willfully naive to the point where it's harmful. She also expects Wei Wuxian to compromise around jiang cheng so in that way she does not treat them equally. In the end though just like when Wei Wuxian first fell from the tree and still got hurt because YanLi could not catch him, her love was always going to fall short. That's why Lan Wangji catching him securely is so symbolic. So just because Wei Wuxian has warm feelings towards her doesn't mean as a reader you can't find her insipid and uninspiring when she is in fact written as mediocre.
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drwcn · 3 years
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I loved your fem lwj take on things. How would thibgs go if WWX was the lady? Other than ppl assuming she stood up for the Wens bcs she jad feelings for WN ( and that Yuan was hers)
Heyyy friend, I think I’ve seen a couple of girl!wwx fics floating around in ao3 so i certainly won’t be the first :P.
Also I completely misread your ask initially, I thought you were asking me what I think would happen if A-Yuan was WWX’s kid, and I was like oh?? But then I realize wait... I can make it worse.  
Today, I decided that my mortal soul doesn’t matter, so here we go. Let’s see how accursed I can make this idea: 
[1]
It started with Jiang Cheng. Jiang Wanyin had set out for the Burial Mount with the explicit goal of throttling speaking with Wei Wuxian, but what greeted him at the entrance of the “Demon Subduing Palace” — more of a cave than anything really — was not his martial sister, but Wen Ning. Well, what had once been Wen Ning.
Black veins ran across his pale, ashen face, down his equally ashen neck , and into the major veins beneath his clavicles covered by the collars of his black threadbare robes. Lifeless eyes, white as his skin, stared into a void the living could not see. There were talismans littering his body, and Jiang Cheng knew that when he spoke to this fierce corpse, he was not speaking to the young Wen boy, but to his mistress who controlled him with her demonic cultivation. 
Wei Wuxian refused to face him. Refused him explanation. Refused him closure.
“Er-jie!” Jiang Cheng screamed into the stony expressionless face of Wen Qionglin. “If you continue to protect them, then I can’t protect you!!” 
There was no response. 
Suddenly, just as Jiang Cheng was about to kick and fight his way into the cave, Wen Ning thrusted out his right fist, and in his grasp was a piece of purple silk. Jiang Cheng unfolded the silk, vaguely recognizing that it had been cut from someone’s robe, and saw what was wrapped within was a slip of parchment.
割袍断义*, the paper read. Tell the world that I, Wei Wuxian, first disciple of Yunmeng Jiang has forever defected (Note: 割袍断义- to rip one's robe as a sign of repudiating a sworn brotherhood (idiom)).
With this, there was nothing left to say. Hurt and furious, Jiang Wanyin threw the piece of parchment onto the dirt ground, grinded his heel down on it, and left the Burial Mount without ever having drawn Sandu. 
Inside the cave, Wen Qing held Wei Wuxian’s hand. “Why won’t you just tell him? He’s your brother; he can help you, you can —” 
Wei Wuxian’s mile long stare seemed to be gazing at something — someone — very far away. Slowly, she placed her other palm over her belly, which horrifically was already starting to round out. “Nobody can help me now, Qing-jie.”
“I can,” said Wen Qing, blunt as ever. “I can make it go away, if you want.”
“No.” A droplet of tear escaped pass long lashes. “No.” 
[2] 
It continued with Jiang Cheng.
On a snowy night, the first winter after Wei Wuxian escaped with the Wen remnants to the Burial Mount, Jiang Cheng was rudely awakened from his slumber by a less-than-stealthy intruder breaking and entering into his bed chamber.
Zidian whipped through the air, lighting the room with her eerie violet glow, before the intruder could think to take one more step. It was a man, judging from his silhouette colliding against the wall and the pained groan he made in response. The very next second, the tail of Zidian coiled tightly around his neck and dragged him across the floor towards beneath Jiang Cheng’s waiting foot. 
The Sect Master of Yunmeng Jiang summoned Sandu, ready to deliver the final strike, but just as his blade sailed towards the intruder’s chest, a pale arm jutted upwards, blocking Sandu’s descent and revealing a pale hand holding a … a... 
Even in the dark, Jiang Cheng immediately recognized the mahogany comb. 
“Jiang — ! Zongzhu —!” The man croaked out urgently, throat still stomped on by Jiang Cheng’s foot. It was - it was Wen Ning?!
Jiang Cheng looked him over. He was pale, yes, but his eyes appeared human. His hair was brushed and haphazardly done up in a farmer’s top knot. He was wearing farmer’s clothing too, probably more inconspicuous for travel than his Ghost General getup.  
“Jiang-zongzhu! P—please!!”
No, impossible. 
“Wei — Wei-guniang—”
Jiang Cheng lifted his foot and dragged Wen Ning up in a split second. “What’s wrong with Wei Wuxian?!”  Wen Ning coughed and shook his head desperately. “No time to explain. My sister asked me to fetch you. Please, you have to come! Wei-guniang’s life is in danger! If you won’t come, I’ll...I’ll have to go to Gusu, and I don’t know if - if -” 
Jiang Cheng followed Wen Ning. 
For speed, they travelled by sword, but even so, dawn was breaking by the time they arrived. The crowd of Burial Mount’s villagers huddling anxiously outside of the Demon Subduing Palace parted for them upon their arrival. Jiang Cheng took a moment to gather himself and square his shoulders. Whatever it was; he was ready.  
He was wrong. None of the dozens of scenario he had agonized over on the flight here could have prepared him for what awaited him inside. 
Wen Qing, pale and drenched in sweat, was near complete spiritual collapse, and without Wen Qing’s spiritual energy sustaining her, the single tenuous thread by which Wei Wuxian’s life hung on would have undoubtedly snapped under the toil and devastation her body had been put through. 
There was so much blood, so, so much blood everywhere, and amidst the blood, there was a baby. 
Fuck. 
Jiang Cheng transfused his sister half of his total spiritual reserve over the course of a day, while an exhausted but unrelenting Wen Qing worked diligently under blood-soaked sheets. 
Then at dusk, when the storm finally passed, Jiang Cheng sat at the mouth of the cave with a tiny, perfect little human — a girl, a niece! —  in his arms and cursed Lan Wangji’s name. 
Wen Qing was extremely clear with them: 孩子要是留在这里,养不活。
If the newborn was left to be raised at the Burial Mount, she would not live. And so, because parting was inevitable from the start, Wei Wuxian adamantly refused to hold or nurse the child. Her child. 
I can’t. If I do, I won’t be able to let her go. Those dark eyes burned with more than just the delirium of her childbed fever. For once, Jiang Cheng could not find it in himself to argue.
Thus, he took his niece home and named her Jiang Yan 江曕. The name was not his doing. His foolish, misguided, stubborn sister had stroked her daughter’s soft, baby cheek and whispered it to her as a farewell gift. 
Yan - to be bathed in daylight. In the end, when given a choice, Wei Wuxian still opted for her child to walk on broad sunny road. 
It made Jiang Cheng wonder why, then, she would choose the dark twisted path for herself instead. 
[3] 
It ended with Jiang Cheng. 
The truth was simple: Jiang Wanyin killed his shijie Wei Wuxian. He did. He meant to. 
He killed her. But that did not mean he wanted her dead. 
In one day, he had lost both of his sisters, leaving two orphans in their wake. Jiang Cheng could not ignore the cruel irony of their fate: one’s father murdered by his aunt, and other’s mother murdered by her uncle. 
This was the kind of tragedy fairytales were made of, and if there were anything left in him to shed tears over it, he would.  Standing amongst Nevernight’s carnage, he could not dredge up even a single drop of tear.  
Jiang Cheng didn’t know how he could return home to Lotus Pier to face that cherub face, always so happy, so sweet, so utterly untainted by the world. She had her mother’s smile. Yan'er was starting to learn how to speak. Her first words were da-da. 
Da-da. Die-die. Father. 
He was standing beside her father now. 
Lan Wangji. Devastated. Destroyed. …Deceived.
Jiang Cheng hated him so much, so fucking much that for one insane second, he thought about telling Lan Wangji the truth just to see what would happen. Maybe he would run Jiang Cheng through with his Bichen - that would be a relief now, wouldn’t it? - or maybe he would jump after Wei Wuxian. 
Truly, if he knew, he would. Jump, that is. Jiang Cheng was almost entirely sure. Oh the utter melodrama that would inspire indeed!  
But then... 
Wei Ying birthed you a daughter, a lovely, perfect, blessed little girl, and she carried that secret to her grave. I may be damned by my actions, but you, who have done nothing for her and taken everything, why should you deserve something as sacred as the truth?
Jiang Cheng turned away. 
He was acutely aware that one day Jiang Yan may very well be the literal death of him. After all — 杀母之仇不共戴天 — one cannot tolerate living under the same sky as the murderer of one’s mother. 
Be that as it may, he would raise Jiang Yan well, just as he promised. Unlike his sister, he would not break his word. Jiang Yan was of Lotus Pier, of Yunmeng, like her mother and grandfather before her. That for him, was enough. 
Jiang Cheng clutched Sandu and gripped Zidian. Whatever his fate, he already made peace with it, and the rest was inconsequential. 
One day, he may die, but today he lives, and so as long as he lives, Jiang Yan and all of Yunmeng Jiang will be protected . So as long as he lives, they will flourish. 
[...and in between]
On the streets of Yiling, Lan Wangji tilted his head inquisitively at Wei Wuxian and the little boy at her side and asked, “This child, he...” 
In response, Wei Wuxian patted her chest in a self-declarative kind of way and announced, “Oh this child, I birthed him!” 
He stared at her in shell-shocked silence, his mind racing with panicked thoughts of but that’s impossible — that was just once — even if — the boy is too old to be —
“怎么,蓝湛,不要我们娘儿俩了?” What, Lan Zhan, you don’t want the child and I?
“Wei— Wei Ying—” 
Then of course, she had laughed, and Lan Wangji thought no more of it. 
Just a joke. A silly joke. 
In time, he would come to realize his mistake. 
~~~
[A/N]: I’m not even a little bit sorry. 
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tanoraqui · 4 years
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tanoraqui
Still thinking about an au in which for some reason WWX and the Wens are left to just live peacefully on the creepy death mountain - some detente wherein they don’t leave the mountain ever and in exchange no one tries to visit ever. Borders patrolled by corpses and sect disciples. So A-Yuan grows up raised kind of collectively but mostly by WWX and Wen Qing (the one most likely to tell WWX that he’s doing it wrong), and learns healing-focused spiritual cultivation AND demonic cultivation, and then at some point starts sneaking out to be the terrifying force of righteous kindness he was always going to be
tanoraqui
Righteous kindness but also, like, having picked up WWX’s cavalier confidence (or at least some of the ability to fake it) and Wen Qing’s general attitude of Do No Harm But Take No Shit
Like IMAGINE
tanoraqui
In this au, despite the strict border-by-mutual-agreement that’s the only reason somehow no ones tried to attack, LWJ sneaks in like one a year so he and WWX can make eyes at one another but not actually say anything ever, and Wen Qing and LXC are both EXHAUSTED bc both their dumb little brothers (WWX is a sibling by adoption now don’t @ me) mope for like a week after EVERY SINGLE TIME THIS HAPPENS, and it’s been /over ten years/.
tanoraqui
Meanwhile Jiang YanLi and JZX are FINE, and JYL somehow keeps up some sort of correspondence with WWX - or at least, he’s faithfully managed to send a birthday present for Jin Ling every single year, and every time, JYL makes her son write a thank-you note and bribes some series of people to get it smuggled back to Yiling
tanoraqui
...which means, honestly, that Jin Ling is probably wildly curious about his uncle the evil demonic cultivator kept trapped within the terrible ghost mountain by the forces of Good and Right, and WILL sneak out one day to try to visit. Optimally, obviously, at the same time Wen Yuan is sneaking out to see the non-mountain world
tanoraqui
The optimal plot is that Wen Yuan ropes Jin Ling into helping him set up WWX and LWJ, because he, too, is exasperated at this point, and Jin Ling ropes Wen Yuan into arranging like a parent trap reunion for the Jiang siblings, and obviously there are monsters and undead to complicate it all
tanoraqui
They kind of acquire Lan Jingyi somewhere, somehow. He’s having a blast
There is a 100% chance that the first Adult(TM) to find them is Wen Ning and they just kind of rope him into whatever the hell is going on at the time
...you know what, I think this is just a good au where JGY fucking died at some point
tanoraqui
Maybe someone threw him down the stairs again and he just broke his fucking neck. WWX is still vilified but between Jiang Cheng not really wanting to attack and Jiang (Jin?) Yanli being AGGRESSIVELY against it, and dragging JZX along with her, they’re left in peace.
tanoraqui
Oh man and Jin Ling has YOUNGER SIBLINGS in this...
Hey for u: Jiang Cheng/Wen Qing can accidentally happen while the Teens are trying to get everyone else to meet
Today at 8:42 AM
@professorsparklepants
I love this it's so goddamn wacky
tanoraqui
I just want teenager-based shenanigans ft. surprisingly competent teenagers and all the adults running around like chickens with their heads chopped off
professorsparklepants
Jingyi: why are you two more calm about this than the literal adults
Wen Yuan: have you met my dad?
tanoraqui
Also to be clear it is not at all hard to convince Wen Ning to join Team: Teenage Shenanigans, bc literally ANYONE in the Burial Mountain village would probably be down if you were like, “we’re engaged in a conspiracy to make Wei Wuxian fucking admit that he’s in love with that Lan guy who visits a couple times a year”
professorsparklepants
"This is my father, and this is his sugar daddy."
tanoraqui
I kinda wanna say he goes by “Wen Yuan” more often bc he’s 100% the baby of the entire remaining Wen clan there, but his adult name or w/e it’s called IS Wen Sizhui, because WWX asked LWJ if he had any suggestions and LWJ said this while maintaining eye contact
professorsparklepants
OH MY GOOOOOOD
tanoraqui
They meet LXC and he figures out what’s going on in like 4 minutes, despite the teens’ best attempts at obfuscation, and instead of calling anyone’s parents is like, “okay, I’m in”
professorsparklepants
#1 wingman...
tanoraqui
Jin Ling and Wen Yuan are definitely both traveling under false names, too? Wen Yuan obviously can’t admit to being a Wen and Jin Ling is making a privileged but slightly helicoptered teen’s rebellious bid for freedom
professorsparklepants
His dad is panicking at home and Yanli is like "boys need their freedom :)"
I saw a post forever ago about how Yanli would be the most hands off parent & Zixuan is an only child who would panic every time his kid fell down
tanoraqui
With a side order of “my mother is the only one who’ll say nice things about the Yiling Patriarch and she always looks sad when she does so I’m going to sneak into the Burial Mountain and either drag him out to see her or force my parents to come get me”
professorsparklepants
"I'm gonna beat up the Yiling Patriarch" "why" "he made my mom sad" "okay proceed"
tanoraqui
^ actual real conversation with WenYuan
professorsparklepants
A-Yuan then repeats the same thing to Wen Qing and she has the exact same answer, verbatim
tanoraqui
Side note: Wen Yuan has never been scared of the undead in his entire life, and probably this will lead to getting into severely life-threatening situations when he doesn’t have more backup than 2 other teenagers
professorsparklepants
Oh absolutely
professorsparklepants
He's so used to tuning out the sound of sentry corpses that one jumps on him and almost punches his lungs out
tanoraqui
Also what if he took WWX’s sword, so he looks like a proper normal cultivator - honestly, what if WWX gave him the sword when he turned 12, or whenever one customarily gives a child a sword in this world. He also has a flute stashed in his robe somewhere but he does know how to use both
tanoraqui
But also, while obviously it’s very important that this is the sword he inherited from his father, it’s never OCCURRED to him to, like, strongly associate it with WWX, in terms of “this would be a recognizable weapon”? Chenqing the flute, obviously, but WWX just left the sword on a shelf all the time
professorsparklepants
He's very good at fooling people into thinking he's a normal rogue cultivator until he busts out the flute
LOL YES
tanoraqui
So the first time someone looks at him and is like, “That is WWX’s sword” he achieves, like, “Who’s Morales? [NOT THAT DUMB]” levels of blank-brained
professorsparklepants
It like, doesn't even occur to him that this stick named whatever will be recognizable to people until it actually happens
"this is the Yiling Patriarch's sword!" "... I've never heard of him"
tanoraqui
“What sword?”
professorsparklepants
KDJAKSNJS
tanoraqui
“Oh, THIS sword? I...found it. In a stream.”
tanoraqui
Also...at some point...once the teens have admitted their identities to one another...and possibly gotten into a couple other increasingly public shenanigans...they run into a bunch of concerned people searching from the Jin or even Jiang sect - JC being there would be PERFECT - and Jin Ling is like, “aaahh, no, I don’t want to be dragged home... kidnap me.”
WY: what?
JL: pull out the flute, summon a couple corpses, shout that you’re the dread son of the Yiling Patriarch, and pretend to kidnap me
WY: ...yeah okay
AND THEN THEY DO THAT
professorsparklepants
The dumbass energy...... off the CHARTS
tanoraqui
They’re 15 and neither of them has ever faced consequences but in...actually not too different ways
They’re 15 and neither of them as ever faced consequences nor most of the real world
Oh my god is Lan Jingyi the most sensible person here
They’re going to DIE
professorsparklepants
JXHAKAJAKKQHSJA
JC and Yanli immediately see through this probably
"dumbass kid just doesn't want to go home. I'll break his legs."
tanoraqui
I think Yanli does but I have minimal faith in JC’s ability to think logically at any time
He’s still angry at WWX for leaving
professorsparklepants
Stomps to Yiling to demand his nephew back & wwx's like "lol, A-Yuan left two months ago"
Okay my shift is starting later
tanoraqui
/snort
Though, bold of you to assume that WWX isn’t also running around anxiously somewhere like “oh god, oh no, my son is missing; I must find him”
professorsparklepants
Sizhui is a responsible boy, I don't think he would leave without telling at least ONE person where he was going
tanoraqui
Ok but it was Wen Qing who thinks it’s good for WWX’s health to stop brooding and go run around like a headless chicken instead, optimally if he runs into his totally-not-a-boyfriend-Hahahaha-why-would-you-say-that
Alternately it was, like, Granny, which, ditto
No one on this mountain is going to stop WWX from going out to cause trouble and hopefully get laid, is my point
tanoraqui
Also, the cultivation world has been basically at peace for 13 years and the reason is that this is an ideal AU where JGY is dead and whenever trouble starts to stir politically, NHS and JYL meet eyes across the room and mentally Rock Paper Scissors over who has to manipulate everyone into calming the fuck down
Neither of them actually wants this job; they’re just good at it and recognize both those aspects in each other
professorsparklepants
LOLOLOL
That is.... so goddamn in character
tanoraqui
concept: JYL and NHS are friends and no one else understands it, or attributes it to JYL just being that nice, bc NHS still generally acts useless
professorsparklepants
Nhs actively wants to be useless and life is conspiring to make sure he can't
tanoraqui
a little less dramatically useless, but why ruin a good thing when you're having fun and it's useful
professorsparklepants
Lol
tanoraqui
but JYL fucking identified him as Actually Competent one time when he couldn't hide it, so now sometimes they get tea together and bitch about politics and stupid people
professorsparklepants
He's the only person who can correctly identify when she's talking shit about people, because it's VERY subtle and her brothers & husband are too busy thinking she hung the moon to notice
tanoraqui
JYL striding into Nie sect HQ (whatever it's called) and tossing her coat over a chair. "You would not BELIEVE what my brothers are doing now."
NHS: *probably knows, because he's found that the minor investment of effort in maintaining a very good spy network pays major dividends in helping him avoid greater work* *immediately sits up and pours her a cup of very expensive tea* Oh, girl, dish.
professorsparklepants
Question: are they also friends with lwj...
tanoraqui
yes but he's obviously not invited to hte political gossip sessions
professorsparklepants
I'm trying to imagine lwj making eye contact with them at some meeting his brother dragged him to and both of them struggling not to break into hysterics
tanoraqui
but they both know that he sneaks into Yiling to visit WWX a few times a year, and every single time, JYL sits him down within a couple weeks and aggressively debriefs him as to her brother's condition
professorsparklepants
I'm sure she tried to get him to take treats in
tanoraqui
for sure
it's hopeless, though, bc there's no really predicting WHEN he'll go? It's basically just "every 4-6 months when LWJ's resolve breaks"
professorsparklepants
Too bad she's not a stress quilter instead of a stress baker
tanoraqui
she gets him to go at an actual arranged time, bearing pork soup, like once, for WWX's 30th birthday or something
professorsparklepants
:)
tanoraqui
omg lit brain: LWJ of course is hte WORST for getting gossip, but JYL has pieced together a reasonable amount about the people her idiot baby brother (#2) is now living with. And she's mildly despairing as to idiot baby brother #1's ongoing refusal to get married and have an heir or three. So she, if not actively connives, then certainly siezes the first available opportunity to set Jiang Cheng up with Wen Qing
tanoraqui
basically, this au is PEAK romcom
tanoraqui
...also, for max happiness, i'd like to think that WWX made some strategic raids to rescue additional Wen refugees and bring them back, so there's a properly populated village and they didn't all just die
professorsparklepants
!!!
Good... Good thoughts
Good because 1. more people die and 2. The Yiling Patriarch will attack your village and steal your people away!
tanoraqui
(romcom being exclusively adults-focussed; the teens initiate it all but Jin Ling and Wen Yuan are both so delighted to have an Additional (But Cooler) Family Member that they comfortably cousinzone each other instantly)
professorsparklepants
*nice*
tanoraqui
...i feel like i keep characterizing Jin Ling as an only child, when really he ought to have a small horde of siblings
maybe they just...couldn't conceive more. shit happens. pregnancy is hard.
professorsparklepants
That happens sometimes
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trensu · 4 years
Text
you know what this fandom needs? a werewolf au
“oh, but trensu,” you say, “that can’t possibly work because WWX is deathly afraid of dogs!!”
WRONG, MY FRIEND. WWX being deathly afraid of dogs is exactly why it should happen!! Hear me out, hear me out! 
The Lan clan is a werewolf pack. Yes, yes they are. That’s why they have all those rules, see? Self-regulation is key to their survival. It keeps them under the radar from people who hunt werewolves. Out-human the humans and no one will ever suspect you turn into a beast three nights out of the month. The thousands of rules are precisely why the Lan clan is such a long-lived and prosperous pack. (The Nie clan are also werewolves but they take the opposite approach and fully embrace the wolfiness).
Now, being fantastical creatures,the clans are pretty tied to their lands. But in this modern day and age, it’s important for them to learn how to blend in with the humans lest they be hunted to extinction. So the young’uns come down from the mountains and are sent to university to learn the ways of the humans.
University is where LWJ meets his soulmate, the love of his life, the moon in his sky. WWX is by far the most beautiful person he’s ever seen and he smells so good all the time, LWJ just wants to roll around in his scent (but that’s weird, right? humans don’t do that probably). It’s so distracting that LWJ is basically nonverbal around him.
It’s rare that a werewolf’s soulmate turns out to be human but it’s not unprecedented. So after meeting WWX (and seeing him smile, oh moon above, that smile with the cutest little beauty mark tucked just under his lower lip that LWJ wants to bite) LWJ immediately starts petitioning the pack leader to grant him permission to reveal the existence of werewolves to WWX so he can then ask WWX to be his life-mate and hopefully also get turned into a werewolf if WWX is willing.
It takes AGES because Lan Qiren is not an easy man to convince. But that’s okay because it gives LWJ time to get to know WWX. Not that LWJ does much, tbh. WWX is the one who decides he and LWJ need to be friends and latches on to him immediately. (They’re gonna be the best of friends, WWX can tell. LWJ is serious and quiet and so fun to tease!). They study together and go on walks together and go out to eat together. And every time they’re together, LWJ allows WWX easy physical affections because omg, it’s almost like WWX is scent-marking him and LWJ wants to be swimming in WWX’s scent. It also allows him to discreetly scent-mark WWX in return on the off chance that any other werewolf in the vicinity thinks to take an interest in him (he’s already side-eyed NHS who has since found a way to dodge WWX’s affectionate touches because he values his life).
Eventually LQR agrees to let LWJ tell WWX the family secret. LWJ is inwardly ecstatic. He’s all ready to tell WWX this important part of him. He’s planning to tell him during one of their walks in the park because WWX is always so carefree and happy when out in the sun and he loves the way the sun brings out the warm tones in WWX’s beautiful brown eyes (which he has to look up ever so slightly to meet bc WWX is enticingly taller than him by just a bit). They have a favorite spot in the park and LWJ has brought one of WWX’s favorite spicy snacks and a drink. It’s going to be perfect. WWX is so intelligent and creative and kind, LWJ is sure that even if for some horrible awful reason WWX does not return his affections, WWX would never hurt him or his family because of their wolf blood and he’s certain WWX would take their secret to the grave.
But just as they’re about to reach their favorite spot, WWX freezes at his side. LWJ can hear WWX’s heart stutter in his chest before it starts pounding at an alarmingly fast pace. WWX suddenly has an iron grip on him and he gasps.
“D-Dog. DOG! Lan Zhan, help me!!” 
WWX ducks behind him, curls down so he’s fully hidden behind LWJ despite the height difference, and his gripping the back of LWJ’s shirt so tightly, LWJ is surprised it hasn’t torn the fabric. WWX is quaking, breaths coming in short gasps, and LWJ has never in his life seen anyone so afraid. His gaze lands on a friendly medium-sized dog prancing their way as it’s owner tries to grab it to put it back on its leash. With a sinking heart, he flashes his gold wolf eyes at the dog and mutters a solemn “shoo.” The dog whimpers and flees quickly.
“You’re safe, Wei Ying. The dog is gone.”
The grip on his shirt loosens and WWX’s arms wrap around him from behind as WWX looks over his shoulder.
“Lan Zhan, you’re my hero! Dogs are the worst. They’re so scary, with their sharp teeth and terrible barks!” WWX babbles in his ear, arms still clenched tight around him. Nervously, still coming down from the adrenaline rush, he adds. “Thanks for scaring it away. And not making fun of me. I know it’s silly but I can’t help it, sorry!! I’ve tried because Jiang Cheng loves dogs but I can’t seem to--”
“No need,” LWJ mumbles.
“What?”
“No need to apologize,” LWJ says more firmly, even as his heart slowly starts to frost over. “It is fine.”
WWX’s face is so close to his, chin tucked into his shoulder from behind the way it is, that LWJ can feel the beaming smile spread across his face as WWX finally relaxes against him. 
“Thanks Lan Zhan, You’re the greatest!” he gives LWJ a little squeeze and LWJ tries to convince himself that that was why his breath catches in his chest and not because his heart is breaking. “Anyway, what was it you were saying before that hell-creature attacked us?”
LWJ gives a stiff shake of his head, and clenches his hands so he doesn’t pull WWX back as he finally disentangles himself from LWJ.
“Nothing. Nothing important.” LWJ says, voice rough from the sudden emotion lodged in his throat. Everything hurts. WWX gives him an odd look but doesn’t question him. Instead he starts happily rambling in the way that always does.
LWJ listens, greedily takes in the sound of his voice, the scent of his skin, from a distance. Because he can never get any closer. LWJ has given his heart away and he will never get it back because werewolves only give their heart away once.
Wei Ying, the love of his life, the moon in his sky, is deathly afraid of canines. He will never know LWJ and he will never love LWJ.
(Later that night, LXC will go into his bedroom to find a white wolf curled under his bed, whining and whimpering as if fatally wounded. “Oh, Wangji,” he will say with sorrow. The only other time his little brother wore his fur outside of the moon cycle was when their mother died. “Wangji, I am so sorry.” LXC puts on his fur, and gently nudges his snout against his brother’s and hurts with him, because his little brother had finally found his moon and his moon does not want him.)
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taikanyohou · 4 years
Note
faiza !!!!! this might be a bit random but what are ur Feelings on madam yu as a character,, shes so .. interesting to me
yuraaaa!!! hi hi hiiiii!!! oooooft. yu ziyuan, man! what a character. i've never really had a chance to extensively talk about her. but now i realise i do have a fair bit to say about her.
she's. man. i feel she partly represents, ya know, the asian wife and mother, in a very quiet way. the repression, the misplacement of anger, doing things out of duty as a (sect leader's) wife and mother.
you know, she just ... holds so much emotion manifested in her. she was stuck in ... this loveless, static marriage. or rather, there was love, and she Knew her husband loved her. but sometimes Knowing isnt enough, you need to show it/express it. and she was within her married rights, as a wife, to ask for that expression of love from her husband. but not only did he lack in expressing it (until her dying moments at her death), but she was in the shadows of rumours that placed her being second to another woman, whose son she had to end up raising. and so ultimately, thats exactly what happened with jiang cheng.
so she makes wei wuxian and jiang cheng, both, her punching bags. wei wuxian for the bitterness she harbours from the rumours and the gossip, and that her husband was never man enough to say something back, and jiang cheng became her punching bag for her bitterness towards her own perceived shortcomings, that maybe she felt she herself was just ... never enough.
was that wrong? yes. but .... she was just. she had a lot of pride, that became her cover, from this ... institution of a loveless marriage that she was trying so hard to salvage and then the duties that motherhood placed her in, including raising wwx. she manifested everything into this bitter rage and resentment as her front, never letting anyone in bc once they would it'd all pour out, and zidian became not only her weapon, but it personified her. but she fulfilled her duties. as a sect leader's wife and a mother, right until her death.
as a woman, she didnt need a man to ever protect her, bc we Know she can do that for herself, but as a wife, she wanted and yearned for her husband's companionship and his compassion and his expression of love to her, which she was well within her rights to ask and desire for.
ig she died knowing her husband came back for her, that when push came to shove, he acted and showed her he did love her. but .... she deserved more of those moments throughout her married life, not just a few seconds away before she died.
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Text
The forbidden crack! Untamed prompts: 24/?
CLAMP AU n.3 [chengyu? yucheng? (JC/MXY) edition. don’t...question my taste bruh]: “Somewhere, sometime.”
[tw eating disorders mentioned + tw suicide mention (body sacrifice)]
[ok fam. ok. I get it. I would basically ship JC with a rock if it meant I could play with my crack AUs. but I have solid evidence for this one. I promise you.]
[so, “Kobato” from CLAMP is possibly my favorite series from them. it’s 6 volumes long, roughly 40 chapters (and I only recently found out there was an epilogue...even though it was not there in my published version of the series. bc your local cryptid did in fact buy the entire thing in the flesh, that’s how much I love it)]
[in this AU I’ll change some things for the sake of consistency, but I suggest you read it bc the hurt/comfort and pining is enjoyable...so...if you read my silly AU I’m afraid I will spoil the plot for u :( and that’s the last thing I want to do...I understand if you decide to go read the manga and skip my prompt. it’s ok, I’m fine, go and have fun ;-;]
[if you kept reading, hi :D]
[now. am I uncomfortable with certain common tropes in CLAMP’s work in general? yes. especially the age gaps between some of the characters, some of which are not adults. hence the reason behind the changes in this AU. but! the aesthetics fam. the beautiful drawings. the cute outfits. (*ノ▽ノ)
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do you see these?? how cute would Mo XuanYu look in these fam?? I honestly hc him enjoying skirts and feminine outfits a whole lot, but you can imagine him with pants and they would be just as cute. my favorite one is the second from the left btw.]
(imagine Mo XuanYu like this btw and check out the fancomic by the same op! an anon suggested it to me a while ago and now I’m hooked!)
[other mangacaps bc you need visuals:
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yeah. angry boy meets bby with a mission to accomplish, bonding over their inferiority complex. yep. I only love the nicest things in life. that’s me.
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also look at my baby girl ;-; so cuTe]
[the title is from the ost from the anime series, “Itsuka dokoka de” (check it out!). the anime feels more cohesive than the original manga, possibly bc the pacing is handled a little bit better (since the manga was cut short and the end felt a bit sloppy, but the emotional engagement was still good). and I remember being 17 and crying like a baby when this song came in. if you don’t have time for the manga binge the anime instead! there are plot holes in both of them and the stories are different but still both very enjoyable if you like soft things and angsty vibes.]
[enjoy!]
*
*
When YanLi saw him for the first time in front of her door, at the beginning of spring, she thought XuanYu was too pretty and too young for his own good. Sitting across her on the floor, a tea set between them as he politely answered her questions, the boy couldn’t have looked older than sixteen yet he assured her he was of age and well into adulthood. Which seemed pretty difficult to assess, not with the way he dressed: cute button down, beret slightly askew on top of his pretty head and an old-looking suitcases in hand. She didn’t mention the stuffed black rabbit poking out from the front pocket of his luggage, which seemed more of a comfort thing than a reliable source of company.
Moreover, Jin Ling seemed transfixed by him, toddling his way towards their guest asking for cuddles... something her son had never done in front of strangers.
XuanYu refused to give his last name, nor did he have an ID he could show her, nor did he seem worried about how strange that was. And YanLi knew ZiXuan would have been against it, but she couldn’t leave the kid looking all over Lanling for a place to stay... so she gave him the only available room in their rundown pension.
She only hoped Jiang Cheng would be a nice neighbor and leave the kid alone. Who knew what horrors XuanYu was running away from, after all.
*
When XiChen heard from YanLi of her new tenant, he would have never guessed the kid to look so naive. Not in a bad way, mind you. But his smiles, for how genuine they seemed to be, looked a little bit too big. A little bit too strained not to be a distraction tactic from his part. Or maybe XiChen had lived too long surrounded by fake smiles and closed off people to not worry.
That’s probably why he gave XuanYu a job when YanLi asked him to look over the kid. More to prove himself there were still trustworthy people in the world than to give the younger man a chance. He couldn’t even pay him a full salary, not with the debt collectors breathing on his neck as he tried to run his late mother’s kindergarten.
But maybe that would have been enough for now. A starting point for something better, something new.
*
A-Yuan had always known the kindergarten used to be an orphanage back in the days, but now he had reached an age where doubts stuck to his head instead of being forgotten with the passing of time. Wen Qing and A-Ning were always busy -be it in the hospital or in university- and A-Yuan didn’t know if they loved him enough to keep him. Ever since granny had passed away he had wondered, day after day, when his cousins would have left him behind for good.
He was thinking about such things when he first met XuanYu, on the man’s first day on the job as a teaching assistant. A-Yuan was mulling over his sadness when XuanYu had come to his rescue, asking him what was wrong... before enthusiastically praising his cousins for working so hard after hearing they were late to take A-Yuan home. XuanYu stayed with him and they played on the swings as they waited for A-Ning to come pick him up, apologizing profusely.
On the way home, his cousin held him close and kissed his forehead as he asked him if he had had fun with the new teacher. And A-Yuan felt less doubtful afterwards.
*
After hearing the story from her brother, Wen Qing had made it her job to look into XuanYu and his weird approach to life in general. She took every opportunity she could grasp to spy on the younger man, lunch breaks be damned. She needed to confirm if the kid was a trust worthy person or a runaway child pretending to be older than what he actually was. Well, maybe tailing an unsuspecting young man on the streets of Lanling in scrubs and sunglasses would be considered a bit much, she could admit as much. But it was the thought that counted, no?
Her friend MianMian told her to knock it off and talk to the kid like a normal human being, but the truth was that... well, XuanYu was really too weird to be considered normal. He seldom put himself in dangerous situations without much care, such as picking up a random (and still lit) cigarette from the ground just to give it back to the person who had “accidentally dropped it”. Other times he would cross a road without looking left and right first, risking to be run over by cars at every corner. He never, never, fumbled with a phone and he frequently talked to himself... sometimes even directing his words to that creepy stuffed rabbit of his.
No thank you, Wen Qing felt safer behind light poles and crumpled newspapers held upside down. Even if that made her look sketchy as fuck.
*
Wen Ning made sure to arrive on time to pick A-Yuan up after that time, often chatting with XuanYu as they waited for his baby cousin to retrieve his backpack and raincoat. It was refreshing to speak with the younger man, no matter how weird he acted sometimes. Like that time A-Yuan asked him to tie his shoe-laces for him and XuanYu didn’t know how to do it. Or that time they caught the man taking a nap on the floor in the middle of the school hall. Or that time XiChen had ordered a cake for one of the kids’ birthday and XuanYu didn’t seem to know how to sing the birthday song.
Wen Ning had no place to judge, after all. But XuanYu’s smiles felt like balm on his heart. And if his sweet voice followed Wen Ning home as he bounced A-Yuan in his arms, well. Nobody needed to know that.
*
The last thing Meng Yao would have expected to hear that summer day when he called the kindergarten was a voice so different from XiChen’s. Startled, he had confusedly asked if the kid worked there and how so, given that the school definitely couldn’t afford to hire anyone. He ought to know. He was the debt collector.
But the kid apologized, introduced himself, and then explained XiChen had offered him a part-time job out of kindness more than out of need. The idiot. XiChen should have remembered who his money belonged to instead of taking charity cases left and right.
But when Meng Yao said as much to naive XuanYu, the other vehemently protested, surprising the debt collector with strong opinions on how he shouldn’t underestimate other people’s intelligence and kindness in the first place.
Meng Yao laughed out at that, genuinely so.
There was more to that kid XuanYu than what one would have expected.
*
Nie HuaiSang caught a first glimpse of the mystery man only in late summer, when XuanYu stepped into his cake shop to look at the display. His coworker MianMian seemed to recognize the younger man immediately, greeting him by saying they had a friend in common, namely Wen Qing. The kid merely tilted his head and answered he had never formerly met “Miss. Wen” and that he only knew who she was from what the woman’s younger brother had told him about her.
MianMian shrugged and smiled at him.
To which HuaiSang asked him what they could do for him and XuanYu... just... stopped working. Saying that he had wondered if he could do something for them instead. Apparently, Wen Ning had let it slip they were currently understaffed and needed a hand to deliver their sweets.
Delighted, MianMian set him to work, no matter how many times HuaiSang assured her they didn’t need to force the kid to help them... also because they didn’t actually have the means to pay him in kind. But XuanYu refused money altogether, simply asking them to let him help.
To their amusement (and horror) XuanYu didn’t know how to ride a bicycle, so he insisted on covering the deliveries by foot in the neighborhood instead.
HuaiSang called XiChen on the phone that same evening, asking him to give the kid some slack the following day. And maybe buy him some balm for blisters as well.
*
Jin Ling was young but he wasn’t stupid. Turning three had made him wiser, he knew as much. So he knew XuanYu was magical. He just did.
His pretty-gege talked with stuffed animals, always wore nice things, and kept in his satchel bag a vial filling up with magical candies every time he did something nice for others. A-Ling had seen it with his own eyes, that time XuanYu had put a plaster on his scrapped knee and blew on it to make the pain go away: the golden candy had appeared in the bottle out of nowhere and XuanYu had asked him to keep the secret.
And A-Ling may have been young, but he wasn’t a snitch.
No sir.
*
ZiXuan eventually stumbled upon their new tenant even though YanLi had tried everything in her power to prevent it. He was very displeased with her: taking a scrawny kid in, cutting his rent in half merely because he couldn’t afford to pay the room in full. Utter nonsense.
No matter how much this kid XuanYu praised A-Ling’s personality or YanLi’s cooking, no matter how much he smiled and made himself look accommodating and unthreatening. ZiXuan didn’t work pro bono even at the firm, let alone for his wife’s business.
Yet, when he asked to be let inside the kid’s room to formally discuss the terms of his contract (and tell him to pack his things and leave at the end of summer), ZiXuan was left speechless. There was no bed, no table or chairs. The fridge wasn’t humming and the AC wasn’t working. The only things he could see were the younger man’s clothes neatly folded in his open suitcase or hanging by the window to dry. No books, no snacks, no nothing.
Usually tenants brought their things in right off the bat, their stuff mailed in within a week after moving in. YanLi was very particular about it, she would have not overlooked something like that. But maybe she had been too busy with A-Ling these past few months and hadn’t noticed the kid was actually too poor to even breathe.
And now that he looked at him, XuanYu looked suspiciously skinny.
Was he sleeping on the floor? Didn’t he have covers for the colder season? Was his fridge broken, empty, or -gods forbid- purposely left with no power because the kid couldn’t afford the electricity bill?
“Do you actually live like this?”
XuanYu didn’t answer to that, but smiled anyway. It looked sinister in a way ZiXuan couldn’t explain, afraid of the things such a young man may or may not have endured in the past. And was maybe still enduring now.
The following day ZiXuan gave the kid their spare futon they bought in Japan on their honeymoon. They never had guests anyway and they could afford to pay for a tenant’s electricity bill every now and then, they weren’t poor.
Certainly YanLi would have agreed with him on the matter.
*
JinGy saw it. He did! He wasn’t lying! Xuan-ge was there, surrounded by darkness and shadows, looking over the children during their nap time, only a sliver of light coming from the door left ajar... casting shadows on half of his pretty face.
And he saw him reviving that stuffed black rabbit he always had on him.
The rabbit just rose on his hind legs and turned his head up and started whispering things to Xuan-ge, who nodded every now and then in deep though.
JinGyi had read about how paper-man talismans had been stuff of legends in the past. His books spoke of ancient times in which even corpses could be brought back to life. How even animals could turn into godly beasts if enough resentful energy polluted them. But he would have never thought magic could actually be real and so easy to play with.
And Xuan-ge had looked nothing but beautiful as he was talking to the stuffed animal, humming softly under his breath.
*
When Jiang Cheng dropped out of university for the second time, YanLi didn’t say anything and instead welcomed him back in his old room. So much for enrolling in law school at twenty-three, uh? ZiXuan would have been disappointed in him like the first time that had happened in his bachelor anyway, no point in avoiding the man. It was autumn anyway: it was either going back to the apartment complex or look for a new flatmate. But the school housing had rightfully kicked him out after dropping out in the middle of the academic year, so there would have been little hope for him to find a new place anytime soon.
What he did not expect to find was a new tenant living next door.
Sleeping in front of the door, clutching a satchel bag and a fucking stuffed animal on his lap.
Jiang Cheng jolted him awake and took in the sight of his shoulder length hair, his long lashes and sleepy eyes and thought he looked ridiculous. Wearing a silly hat and moccasins, purple shadows under his eyes, a confused expression on his worn out face. When asked what the hell he was doing there, sleeping out of his room instead of inside of it, the younger man said he had forgotten his keys inside that morning.
He was clearly an idiot, so Jiang Cheng walked away and returned to his room after more than a year away. If someone asked him who had rung YanLi to bring the spare keys to help the idiot he would have shrugged at them and shut the door in their face.
He didn’t have time for that, he had to think how to ask XiChen to let him back to work at the school the following day.
*
A-Qing had seen many things in life, met many horrible people, dealt with the scum of the scum... but she had yet to meet XuanYu. 
A menace. A hurricane. A fool. The amount of times she had had to scoop him up from the ground after he had clumsily slipped on invisible bananas and such should have earned her a honorary title for outstanding citizen. It’s been months since his arrival and the kids had already learned to make way whenever they saw him. He inspired fear even in their tiny heads, honestly. What a fellow teaching assistant, really.
She was just there to score brownie points for his electives and internship program to become a social service worker, that was true. But she cared about the kids enough to know she had to do something about that. The children loved XuanYu and they were this fucking close to either worship him like a small deity or criminal and something ought to be done.
The last thing she would have expected to see, however, was Jiang Cheng coming back so soon. Crawling back from university to ask to work there, wagging his tail like the lovesick dog he was. She could easily imagine what the older student would have said to XiChen, something on the line of “you know goddamn well I’m not doing it for the money. I grew up here, I don’t want to see this place crumbling down. I’m definitely not doing it because I’m in love with you and seeing you sad makes me want to gag.”
Well, maybe the last part could be considered artistic license from her part, but judging by what she could overhear behind XiChen’s office door... yep. She had definitely nailed the part about being fond of the ex-orphanage and for the rest... the sentiment was there. The pining bastard.
“Do you need anything, A-Qing?”, XuanYu asked her out of no-fucking-where, startling her as she pretended to dust off the floor very close to a door. Cheek-plastered-on-it kind of close.
“Nothing. Mind your business,” she answered, flustered as fuck.
XuanYu couldn’t be that naive, he knew what he was fucking doing. His creepy little smile so similar to the one the debt collect always had on his face. No wonder XiChen had fallen for such a tricky bitch.
“Then will you help me find JinGyi? He doesn’t want me to help him with his project for the festival and went into hiding again.”
There, that smile and knowing gaze. Judging poser. He looked much older than his alleged twenty years. He knew what he was fucking doi...
“You?!”
Jiang Cheng’s honest-to-gods screech pulled A-Qing out of her thoughts. She turned and had to witness XiChen amiably patting Jiang Cheng on the head as their boss explained him how XuanYu worked there. 
“It’s been almost six months now, he’s a very valuable kid and helped out around here while you were studying.”
Jiang Cheng was both livid and red with longing, because his touch-starved ass was all over that hand patting him platonically on the head. He was also angry, which was default for him... but there was something else underneath. Something promising in the way he stared XuanYu down.
Maybe A-Qing could win some candy by betting with the kids about such unexpected turn of events.
*
ZiZhen believed A-Yi. If his friend had told him the new teacher assistant was a witch then he was right. So they had started researching witches at the school, but only found a couple of colored books on the matter, mostly useless. All but one, telling the story of a nanny called Mary Poppins... some western thing.
But everything checked for the most part. The hat was there, every day a different one, but ultimately never leaving XuanYu’s head. The umbrella was not, but both him and A-Yuan had seen their gege with a parasol once and that was enough. His satchel contained infinite amount of things, from sweets to possessed stuffed animals, like a qiankun bag from the legends! He talked with things as if he could control them.
Well, even the teacher sometimes tried to convince the printer to work with sweet words, gently coaxing it back to life... maybe that was just how adults functioned. Even his dad would ask the fridge where his favorite cake had disappeared sometimes. Adults were weird.
*
Fuck Lanling. Rain day and night, autumn planning everyone’s demise by flooding every bloody year. Xue Yang was over it.
He took a random umbrella from the rack by the door of the convenience store and left without a second thought, already wondering what he could say to convince XingChen to offer him dinner somewhere new. The man wasn’t married anymore after all, so Xue Yang could technically have his way with him now, right?
“Excuse me!”
Xue Yang was not in the mood for people calling him out on his bullshit that night, but he turned anyway and saw the weirdest thing. A young man roughly his age, maybe a year or so younger, drenched from head to toe after rushing to him. He was panting, clutching a plastic bag full of cleaning supplies from the convenience store Xue Yang had just left.
“I believe you mistakenly took my umbrella,” the other said, pretty face framed by wet hair sticking to his forehead and cheeks.
Amused, Xue Yang shut the clear plastic umbrella he had “mistakenly taken” and held it at arm’s length by the handle, directing the pointy edge to the other like a sword. Hell if he was going to get wet himself, he needed to prove something to the idiot. He could handle a bit of rain for the sake of being dramatic.
“You want it back?” Xue Yang asked, rising his chin and arching an eyebrow at the other. The man nodded, holding his now wet beret in place on top of his head as if he was more worried about it falling on the ground than keeping his crown dry.
“I knew it was someone else’s when I took it.”
“But...?”
“And what’ll you give me back for it? What are you gonna do about it?”
This should have taught him not to mess with him: he didn’t even have to use his business tone to make the other take a step back. Meng Yao, the bastard, had taught him smiles went a long way in dealing with stupid people after all.
“Right, if I take it from you... you won’t have one to go back home with.”
Uh?
“Wait here. I’ll go buy you one at the convenience store. I’ll be back.”
Uh??
The idiot actually run back to the store and purchased him a fucking umbrella. And Xue Yang was twice as stupid because he waited for him to come back, startled as he was. The idiot was smiling megawatt bright when he came back as well, what the fuck?
The sick bastard extended the clear plastic umbrella to him like Xue Yang had done earlier, but he held it by the middle, as if surrendering his weapon. It was fairly similar to the one Xue Yang had stolen anyway, why bother asking for his umbrella back?
“Did your dead mother give this particular one to you or something?”
The bite in his words only mildly deterred the other man, who pressed his lips together before forcing an even bigger smile on his face.
“No. It’s pretty cheap. But it’s mine. It’s the first thing I bought with my money.”
Xue Yang left after that. With the stolen umbrella. Because he was still a scumbag and not a sentimental asshole. But he was very quiet that evening when XingChen treated him to some fancy takeout on his couch while lovingly drying Xue Yang’s hair with a towel.
Nothing made sense anymore.
*
Qin Su worried over Jiang Cheng. He was her best worker, but she knew for a fact that he had a million part-time jobs in town and she didn’t want to overwork him. She also knew he would give all of his hard-earned money to XiChen anyway. All to pay a stupid debt. The huge lovesick idiot.
Was he the fastest delivery driver? Yes. Was he the most well behaved of his staff? Not even close. But he was respectful enough to work over his issues and she trusted him with doing his job at the end of the day.
So when she found a young man in a frilly outfit waiting for her on the lobby of her shop asking for Jiang Cheng... well, she was pleasantly surprised.
He introduced himself as XuanYu and held a lunch box in his hands, saying Jiang Cheng had forgotten it at home. Which left A-Su properly impressed. How could a man as angry as Jiang Cheng secure himself such a lovely person was beyond her comprehension, honestly.
He was adorable and she wanted to be his sister like, yesterday.
But when Jiang Cheng came back from a delivery, entering the dumpling shop with his helmet still on, he stared XuanYu down and told him off right off the bat.
“Not you again,” he said, to A-Su’s utter confusion, “Can’t you take a fucking hint? I’m already avoiding you at work. I don’t want to be your friend.”
Something akin to hurt painted XuanYu’s feature for a fraction of a second before he could retrieve his smile and point at the lunch box.
“Your sister asked me to give this to you on my way out. A-Ling helped making rice cakes this time and wanted to hear from you if you liked them or not.”
Qin Su could have easily missed the change in XuanYu’s voice at that, that’s how much of a good actor he was. But Jiang Cheng had no face even to feel ashamed for lashing out at the kid like that. How much older could he be from XuanYu, three years? Two? Had nobody taught him some respect?
“XuanYu, if he bullies you again you come here. Am I understood?”
Like hell she was gonna let this gem of a child slip away from Jiang Cheng’s hands.
Not in a million years.
*
Song Lan breathed in and out. In and out. The clear morning air surrounded him like an old friend, hugging him closely as he clutched the papers for his divorce.
XingChen had signed them in the end. Five years together were now in the past for him.
Maybe they had been too young back then, when they had taken the chance to get married the moment the government announced the change in the law for people like them. How old have they been, twenty-three? Twenty-four? Another lifetime. An existence away.
He wished he could cry. It would have been easier.
But, as he turned a corner, someone stumbled into him and sent the papers scattering on the sidewalk. Song Lan tried to save them from being dirtied on a puddle but was unsuccessful. He didn’t know why he bothered anymore. It felt like the last piece of his lover had left and Song Lan couldn’t even prevent something as simple as that. XingChen’s signature dirtied in a pool, but not enough to be washed away. What a joke.
The young man in front him bowed down, apologizing profusely, trying to save the documents at the best of his abilities. He even suggested finding a public toilet to dry the sheets under the hot air blowing machine, the silly man.
Song Lan smiled instead, reassuring him it was fine.
He was fine.
But the kid accidentally read the first few lines of the agreement before looking up at Song Lan. And where he would have expected pity, Song Lan only saw consternation instead on his pale face. It was so startling to see it, that he had to crouch back down on the ground next to the kid and reassure him everything was fine. It was just paper, it wasn’t important, he didn’t have to feel so guilty about...
“It is important. Your life is important.”
Such a dramatic sentence, uttered so vehemently, should have sounded weird to Song Lan. Especially because he disapproved of such antics in the first place. But it sounded so sincere, so earnest that he felt touched for a moment.
So he helped the kid up on his feet and asked him to walk a bit with him, to keep him company. Reserved as he was, he would have never thought possible opening up to a stranger the way he did that day. But there was something calming about the kid, almost as if he had been put on earth to soothe other people’s existence.
So he told him how his husband had fallen in love with someone else, someone much younger than them. How this had strained their marriage even if Song Lan had known all along his husband had the ability to fall in love with more than one person at a time. But Song Lan was monogamous and would have never justified forcing his lover to suppress his feelings just to please him. So it had been Song Lan himself to call it quits and wish him all the luck in the world.
The kid had started crying at some point, without Song Lan even noticing at first.
“Why are you crying? Please no, I didn’t wan to upset you.”
“So much love. In different ways but... it’s too much. There’s so much of it, of course I’m crying for you and your loved one.”
Song Lan was many things. Too stern, too rigid, too peculiar about who could touch him or not, too cold in expressing his emotions. But he felt warm then, in front of a kid crying for him in the middle of the street, one day of late autumn.
“Thank you.”
***
XuanYu let it slip once with Mrs. Jin how little he remembered of his past. 
It wasn’t a lie, he really didn’t remember what it had been of him before he had met her, asking for a room. But the kind woman just assumed he was talking about his past or youth, so he didn’t correct her on the matter.
Knowing the truth would have scared her, after all.
But he still let himself trust her that day as they sat in front of a pot of tea and he pretended to drink and eat the pastries on the low table. He didn’t need to eat or drink. He wasn’t even sure he had a digestive system.
“I only remember... a song.”
“A song?”
“Yes. Someone singing every night before falling asleep. I don’t think it was meant for me to hear... but my body remembers the shivers. The feeling of being loved.”
“The body remembers the weirdest things, XuanYu. You should trust it more.”
He smiled at that, wriggling his hands on the handkerchief where he had hidden the pastries from sight.
“I’m pretty sure that song wasn’t for me. My body was merely there to listen.”
YanLi looked uncomfortable at that, something scary painting her features.
“Maybe I was eavesdropping,” he reassured her with a self-deprecating joke, not sure if that would have made her feel more at ease or not, “Maybe I was listening in, hoping such lovely words could be directed at me for once.”
Mrs. Jin sipped her tea for a long while afterwards, before finding the resolution to look up and stare him down with a serious expression.
“Unrequited feelings hurt, don’t they?”
XuanYu didn’t know what she meant by that, but he nodded anyway.
He heard something rustling in his bag and hid the sweets inside of it the moment YanLi turned to clear the table. If A-Ling heard someone munching their protests away from inside of the bag, he didn’t snitch on XuanYu and retrieved playing with Fairy on the carpeted floor next to him instead.
*
Lan Zhan was disappointed in him, XuanYu knew that much. They were admiring the sunset from the small balcony in their room, folding laundry.
XuanYu always wondered why Lan Zhan assumed the form of a black stuffed rabbit, of all things, but he didn’t want to pry. He didn’t even know his real name. The other had told him he used to be a human in his past life and that he hadn’t technically reincarnated in this lifetime. That his current form was just a mean to a goal, that he could use it to guide XuanYu and help him better that way without expending much spiritual energy.
He told him someone dear to him taught him how to manipulate paper-man talismans in his previous life. How similar the process had been to move around in a stuffed animal’s body. How convenient.
XuanYu believed he secretly loved it, even if Lan Zhan would have never said as much. He already talked very little to begin with.
“You told her you don’t remember your past.”
“That I did.”
“Don’t do it again”
XuanYu folded the last towel on his lap and then let Lan Zhan take a nap on it. He felt silly having to take showers and pretend to be a normal human being. He hated inconveniencing the Jins with him, accepting their bedding and paid kitchen appliances and so on. But if he wanted to accomplish his mission he had to make an effort to look normal... instead of spirited away from another world or maybe simply another era.
“I won’t do it again, don’t worry Lan Zhan.”
*
Lan Zhan was disappointed, but he was also patient to a fault.
Sure, it would have been much appreciated if Mo XuanYu didn’t lose him around every other day. This time the younger man had forgotten to pick him up from the floor where he had been reading stories to the children at the kindergarten.
But Lan Zhan was also a stuffed animal now, so it wasn’t like he could move around and risk being seeing by normal humans. His body was a vessel and any damage would have had repercussions on his soul as well. 
What to do.
He tried not to panic when he felt someone picking him up from the floor after an hour or so. He silently prayed for them not to be A-Qing: even in this life she was too smart for her own good and he couldn’t risk being found out so soon. Mo XuanYu wasn’t even halfway to complete his mission and Lan Zhan couldn’t...
“I’m sure A-Yu is looking for you, little guy. What are doing all the way back here?”
It was always difficult to hear his older brother’s voice in this life. To see his face, to notice how sad he was even in this new reincarnation of his.
Lan Zhan didn’t move a single muscle as XiChen dusted him off and put him in his apron front pocket as he looked for “A-Yu”.
In order to give a second chance to Mo XuanYu, Lan Zhan had sacrificed any possibility to ever reincarnate until his mission was accomplished. So XiChen didn’t have a younger brother in this lifetime and he would have not had one for a while. Lan Zhan missed him, but they had to wait for a bit more.
They still had three months to fill the bottle the King of Hell had entrusted Mo XuanYu with. Then he would have entered the list for reincarnation once more and everything will have been fine in the end.
Lan Zhan owed the kid his life, so he trusted him.
No matter what.
*
XuanYu remembered the boy who had stolen his umbrella. He remembered him well enough to recognize him when he found him crawling on the floor, a stab wound in his belly, one winter night.
Panicked, he asked Lan Zhan what they could do as he instinctively pressed the wound with his bare hands. Lan Zhan didn’t dare move not to attract attention on himself. The other man snarled out at XuanYu, asking him why did he even bother, seemingly recognizing him.
“I took your fucking umbrella. Hate me and leave me alone.”
“Ridiculous.”
Lan Zhan would have been proud of him for that remark, but XuanYu was too scared to think about it. He didn’t have a phone and he didn’t even know the number for emergencies. He wasn’t even qualified to be a teacher. How had he survived until then. He was useless and stupid and...
“What the fuck?” Jiang Cheng’s voice came in a whisper behind him.
What a sorry view the older man had to take in that night: a pool of blood staining otherwise clean clothes, a moaning boy on the ground in restless pain, a crying mess of a sad excuse of a human pressing on a throbbing wound next to him.
Jiang Cheng muttered something about the boy being one of Meng Yao’s men, that they should leave him there to die for all he cared.
The man under XuanYu barked back, telling him he had tried to “convince the idiot of the same”. But XuanYu was horrified by what he had just heard.
“People die for nothing. People die for fucking nothing. You don’t leave someone behind just because you fucking hate them.”
XuanYu has never cursed in this brief, borrowed life of his. Maybe spending so much time with Jiang Cheng had rubbed some of his habits off on him in the end.
Startled, Jiang Cheng seemed to agree with him because he fished out his phone and called an ambulance right away.
The stabbed man laughed at that.
*
Lan Zhan was clutched in XuanYu’s hands as they waited in the corridor of a badly lit hospital. The kid was crying, hard. He must have remembered how his family in Mo Manor had mistreated him in the past, how easily his own relatives had starved him off just out of spite. How already impossibly emaciated he had been when he had sacrificed his body for Wei Ying, to bring him back in a weakened vessel just to seek revenge. Just to let his hatred run free.
Such cruelty had earned him nothing but distrust from the hell judges, who sentenced him to never be reincarnated again. Only when Lan Zhan had ascended to heaven -many centuries after reaching immortality- he had been able to make them relent.
If Mo XuanYu could prove to be a good human being during a trial time of one year on planet earth, filling a vial with good actions in the form of golden gems, then they would have considered Lan Zhan’s proposal. Mo XuanYu would have atoned his sin and be granted a new life, a clean record, and a second chance at happiness.
Seeing someone almost die in front of him must have awaken something ugly in him. His stained hands, the iron stench in the air. All that blood... like the last thing he had most probably seen in his previous life before his body sacrifice. A scarlet array under his feet, another soul replacing his in his own body.
Lan Zhan let himself be held tightly in Mo XuanYu’s hands that night at the hospital.
And hugged back without anyone else noticing.
*
Xiao XingChen. That was the name of the man showing up at the kindergarten one week later. XuanYu had never seen him before, but the man hugged him in front of the kids, alerting both XiChen and Jiang Cheng.
“Thank you,” the tall man said in between tears, holding him tight.
“I don’t understand. I...”
“You saved A-Yang. Thank you.”
XuanYu pressed his lips together tightly at that, so overwhelmed he didn’t know what to say. His fingertips hurting with sometimes akin to electricity the more he let himself be held so fiercely by the other man.
He started crying in earnest only after the man had left, surrounded by the children who worried and fussed over him. He fell asleep with them during nap time and when he woke up he found Jiang Cheng placing a quilt over him.
Caught red handed, the older man feigned disinterest in the beginning... but then he sat down next to him. Just like he had done in the hospital one week ago.
“Did you see someone die before?” Jiang Cheng asked then, awkwardly scratching the back of his head, “You had such a strong... reaction to my words. It was insensitive of me. I apologize for angering you. I’ll better myself.”
XuanYu didn’t answer at that. 
Jiang Cheng would have never understood what it meant to sacrifice yourself to hatred and revenge. How much it had scarred him to be brought back to life, but only as a worn out set of robes on top of someone else’s soul. How distant he had felt when the Yiling Patriarch had inhabited his body and had let himself be touched by someone else.
Jiang Cheng would have never understood what it meant to be touched in the flesh but be utterly unreachable as a soul. Or how much it hurt to become an empty body filled by someone foreign and new. Someone who could wear his skin better than him.
Jiang Cheng would have never understood. And thank all the gods for that.
So XuanYu... Mo XuanYu kept quiet and smiled instead.
*
Lan Zhan didn’t trust Jiang Cheng. He hadn’t in the past and he wasn’t gonna start now. Wei Ying would have been so disappointed in him for thinking badly of his baby brother, but there was little Lan Zhan could do about that.
Wei Ying wasn’t there to judge him for it.
Mo XuanYu would wake up every morning and wash himself, get dressed and tidy up the room before leaving. He would fix his appearance in a mirror Young Lady Jiang had gifted him in autumn, making sure his hat was still in place.
“What would happen if I were to...?”
“You must keep your hat on... even when you sleep. You know this much.”
“I wear a headband to bed.”
“And what of it?”
“It’s... silly.”
“Nobody can see you in your sleep. Why the sudden worry?”
Mo XuanYu said nothing in response to that, but Lan Zhan knew. The kid had never worried too much about his appearance aside from looking proper and well dressed. He had never fussed over his features, but recently he had taken the habit to walk dangerously close to makeup stores and check various displays at the convenience store close by. Lan Zhan knew Mo XuanYu had remembered his past... how he had quickly realized he was already an adult. With needs and desires.
But now a brand new reincarnation of Jiang WanYin would wait for him every morning to walk to work together. Now Jiang Cheng acted pleasantly enough to be considered kind and doting to someone starved of affection like Mo XuanYu had always been. Which wasn’t planned, it had never been.
Lan Zhan didn’t like where this was going.
He didn’t like it at all.
*
Nie HuaiSang came to bring a cake for XuanYu one day or so before the end of the year, snow sticking to his hair and flushed cheeks.
“I don’t know when your birthday is... so I’m pretty sure I’m late to the game. But I wanted to thank you for helping me and MianMian that one time. So I made a cake for you. I hope you like strawberries.”
Mo XuanYu had no idea if he liked them or not. He couldn’t even eat.
He started crying in the middle of his room, where HuaiSang had placed the boxed cake on top of his low table.
Panicked, HuaiSang jumped up and out of the room to alert Jiang Cheng next door. But upon seeing the other man’s worried expression XuanYu cried even harder.
“What did you do to him, you bastard?”
“I’m not the one who used to prank people all the time. Grow up!”
“You clearly did something horrible to him for...”
“A-Cheng we’re not twelve anymore. Who do you take me for?”
XuanYu took his chance to stuff his face with cake, gulping it down bit by bit even if he knew he didn’t have the necessary organs to process it without vomiting it all out in an hour or so. He had tried many times to hold food down to no avail. His body rejecting it as if it was poisonous and dangerous.
He had tried so many times... to practice. To be able to appreciate YanLi’s generous cooking, to help A-Ling and the children at school prep their lunches and maybe... maybe to eat with Jiang Cheng every now and then.
Nie HuaiSang hugged him and patted his head, confused but too scared to ask for an explanation. Mo XuanYu smiled at him and lied, saying his cake was the best he had ever eaten. It wasn’t the best. It was simply the first.
He had no way to compare it with anything else, really.
*
Wen Ning had heard about his “stomachache” from XiChen, who had known all about it from YanLi and Jiang Cheng. So it shouldn’t have been a surprise for XuanYu when he saw the older boy in front of his apartment complex the last day of the year.
But it was a surprise.
“Can we talk for a bit?” Wen Ning asked, holding his umbrella up for XuanYu to walk beside him, protecting him from the icy snow.
They walked to the nearest park, sitting under the gazebo to watch the snow falling down. Their heavy coats keeping them warm, despite the cold.
They used to take long walks back from the kindergarten with A-Yuan after school, since the Wens lived close to XuanYu. Before Jiang Cheng came back anyway.
Wen Ning looked uncomfortable, fidgeting with his fingers as he tried to find the right words. He surprised XuanYu by telling him how, in the past, he had suffered from an eating disorder and had been hospitalized for a while in his teens. How worried his sister and their grandma had been for him, how much they helped him in his recovery. How alone he had felt for years still, no matter how loved he was.
“A-Yuan told me he never saw you eat. So I was wondering if you needed help.”
It wasn’t the case, but XuanYu knew he meant well. Telling him everything was fine would have only worried him more, so he tried to explain an half-truth that could satisfy him. Saying it was difficult for him to process food, that in the past he had suffered from malnutrition and now he had digestive issues.
He was talking about his past life, but he figured that could work as well.
When they parted ways in front of the apartment complex, Wen Ning asked to hold XuanYu’s hands for a bit. He cradled them carefully, as if they were precious. His slender fingers cupping XuanYu’s smaller palms almost reverently.
“I know you don’t feel the same about me. But I’ll ask you to look after yourself anyway. Not out of obligation for me... but out of respect for yourself, if nothing else.”
The moment Wen Ning let go of his hands, Jiang Cheng stepped out of the front door of the building and saw them.
He said nothing and walked away after stepping out of the gate.
*
Lan Zhan would have very much liked to flip a finger at Jiang WanYin’s forehead. Hard. Wei Ying would have done the same, he was sure.
Wei Ying would have also smacked some sense in his baby brother, forcing him to face his feelings and take responsibility for what he was doing to poor Mo XuanYu.
Who was currently waiting for the other man’s return like a dog by his room balcony, surveying the front courtyard like a bird of prey from above.
Lan Zhan tried to coax the kid inside, reminding him snow was still falling down and that his beanie was slipping away. He tried to be gentle about it, knowing how much XuanYu had grown resentful of the hats he had to constantly wear.
But the younger man simply shrugged, saying he wanted to wait for another five minutes. Just one more. Just to make sure.
Jiang Cheng didn’t come back that night.
And Mo XuanYu cried in his sleep clutching the half-empty vial to his chest.
Lan Zhan spent the night watching over him, singing to him the song he had written for Wei Ying. He snuggled close to XuanYu and made sure his wide headband was covering the crown of his head, before pressing himself to the other’s forehead.
He never stopped singing.
Wishing he could take all the pain away.
*
YanLi, A-Yuan and even ZiXuan knocked on his door to greet him into the new year, despite how XuanYu should have been the one to pay his respects to his landlords.
But they asked him to visit the funeral home with them instead, to say their thanks to YanLi’s parents with offers and flowers.
He dressed in his best clothes, having never been in what seemed to be a modern version of the ancestral halls of his childhood in a past life. The establishment was fairly sterile, with shelves filled with plaques and pictures instead of wooden inscriptions on an altar. The lot of them bowed and said their thanks, chatting with the late Jiangs almost as if they had never left. YanLi apologized to her mother for Jiang Cheng’s absence that year like any other year, while ZiXuan told his father-in-law how they would have visited the Jin ancestors during Chūnjié to make it fair.
XuanYu looked at them and barely kept himself from crying.
On their way back, YanLi explained her parents had died when she was still twelve and Jiang Cheng was merely six. How they had lived in the orphanage run by XiChen’s mother and made friends with the boy, who was YanLi’s classmate. How the siblings stayed there until YanLi came of age and got custody of her baby brother. ZiXuan’s family of lawyers had helped her pro bono and that was how she had met the man and fallen in love with him. Even if it had taken a while for ZiXuan to notice her at first, preoccupied with university and law school as he had been at the time. But the Jins helped her with the inheritance left by the late Madame Yu: the apartment complex where they currently lived.
Watching them explaining their past in such detail moved XuanYu deeply. Feeling as if they wanted to make him part of their family by filling in the gaps for him.
That was still his older brother after all and those were still his sister-in-law and his beloved nephew and he... he loved them. He had missed them so, so much.
And he was about to leave them again soon.
*
Wen Qing finally showed herself up one day at the park, when Mo XuanYu was taking Fairy out for an evening walk. She approached him by telling the younger man she had assisted in the surgery Xue Yang had undergone some time back.
Lan Zhan (hiding in the kid’s coat pocket) could see how startled the kid was at the mention of the criminal, but he decided to trust this version of Lady Wen as he would have done in the past.
Wei Ying cared deeply for her, after all.
Whatever truths she was about to entrust Mo XuanYu with, Lan Zhan knew the kid could take it.
He hoped as much, at least.
*
Jiang Cheng came back only for Chinese New Year. Saying he had stayed at XiChen’s since the winter break allowed them to take it easy and figure some stuff out for the following school year.
It hurt to know where he had been all along, but XuanYu braved a smile anyway. He knew how much Jiang Cheng cared for the older man, how much he wanted to save the school from the debt collector. How much he didn’t love XuanYu back.
So he let himself cry one last time before waking up one morning and deciding he had had enough.
He talked with Lan Zhan, asking him to tell him all about Wei WuXian and their love. If XuanYu’s sacrifice had allowed them to be happy as they deserved in the end. If Lan Zhan hated him now, for forcing him away from his loved one, who was currently waiting for him to come back to heaven.
Mo XuanYu knew the couple had sacrificed their chance at reincarnation to allow him to seek a second lifetime for himself. He knew Wei Ying watched over them from up above, waiting for Lan Zhan to secure a new life for the kid.
They talked all day and then well into the night.
By dawn Mo XuanYu had decided what to do.
*
XuanYu properly met Meng Yao one day of early spring, when flowers weren’t yet brave enough to poke their way out and greet the sun. The man was dressed in black, his hair cut short, a sigarette between his lips as he waited patiently for the kindergarten to open.
It was XuanYu’s duty to open that morning, so he was the one to greet the man.
Upon hearing his voice, Meng Yao immediately recognized him.
“There you are. I was waiting for you.”
“Me?”
“You’re the kid who answered the phone. And the one who helped my subordinate back in winter, right?”
His dimples were so deep, his face so pleasant.
Mo XuanYu remembered him from another lifetime. He remembered how much he had cared for his older brother Jin GuangYao. How hurt he had felt when the other had lied and accused him of harassment just to get rid of him.
But this was a new life and Meng Yao was just a man.
Who happened to have been married with XiChen for a while before turning to a life filled with crime and gang violence.
Wen Qing had told him Meng Yao had initially tried to live far away from his adoptive father Wen RuoHan. All for the sake of marrying XiChen and keep him safe. But XiChen’s mother still had had a debt to pay for the construction of the orphanage, a price too high for her to pay with her poor health and delicate disposition. A debt that XiChen had inherited from her when she had died.
That was why Meng Yao had left him: to go back to his father and ask him to handle the debt himself, supplicating him to overlook such small issue and let him dry XiChen out of every penny and cent instead.
Wen Qing may have learned this only from the gossiping running in her family, with the Wen Clan being as big as it was, but she was pretty sure of what she had told XuanYu. That Meng Yao had simply faked having fallen out of love with XiChen to protect him from his adoptive father and his cruelty. That XiChen still loved him and was waiting for him to fight alongside him instead.
Mo XuanYu knew all of this.
So now he could act and fulfill his mission.
*
“I want to pay the debt XiChen owes you.”
“You are full of surprises, XuanYu. And how do you plan to do that?”
“I can do many things.”
“You’re very pretty, you can make good money out of it.”
XuanYu considered his words before shaking his head.
“It’s not something I can do.”
“Then what can you do?”
“I’ll solve everything.”
“I’m all ears.”
“But you’ll have to stop making XiChen worry so much.”
“That’s not how business work...”
“Lie to me. Give your word and I’ll... I will solve everything.”
Meng Yao humored him and nodded.
Then and only then, Mo XuanYu took his hat off.
*
Lan Zhan had watched the entire scene unfold before his eyes without intervening, trusting Mo XuanYu with such an important choice. He took in the sight of the beautiful spiritual light shining brightly on top of XuanYu’s head like a crown.
His soul in full display, its energy so raw it had slowed down time all around them.
Lan Zhan turned around and looked at XiChen, who had just turned a corner and had been walking towards XuanYu to greet him good morning. Frozen in time, his older brother’s face still looked peaceful... simply because he had had no time to notice Meng Yao’s presence quite yet.
Lan Zhan turned once more and saw Jiang WanYin making his way in a rush towards them, surely to protect XuanYu from Meng Yao. When did he arrive? His features trapped in a perpetual frown, scared for the one he truly loved in this lifetime.
Then, Lan Zhan looked up at Mo XuanYu and saw him taking the bottle only half filled with gold... which symbolized his goodwill and generous spirit.
“Will this be enough to grant a wish, Lan Zhan?”
When XuanYu said his name like that he sounded so much like his Wei Ying, full of hope and love.
“It depends on the wish, A-Yu.”
“I reckon it’s not enough for a new reincarnation, eh?”
“It’s enough to save a life... but not yours.”
XuanYu looked crestfallen, but he persevered still.
The bottle transformed into a bag filled with money and XuanYu made his way to XiChen and left it at his feet before smiling up at his mentor and employer.
“I cannot rewrite the past, but maybe I can plan a better future for you.”
Still smiling, XuanYu slowly walked over to Jiang Cheng and said his farewells.
Then he crouched down and took Lan Zhan in his hands, kissing him goodbye on the head affectionately.
“Erase me well, Lan Zhan,” he whispered then.
Before disappearing into thin air.
***
Wei Ying had agreed with him, suggesting the idea himself.
In the end the King of Hell had granted Lan Zhan’s request and offered Mo XuanYu a second chance anyway. Since this new self-sacrifice had been fueled by positive emotions instead of anger and despair, the hell judges had considered the atonement fulfilled and put the kid’s name back on the reincarnation list.
Twenty years had past and many things had changed.
For starters, the kid’s last name wasn’t Mo anymore, but Nie. The boy had, in fact, born into Nie MingJue’s family and had lived overseas in Japan for a while before moving back to Lanling when XuanYu turned twenty. Nie HuaiSang had met him many times during summer vacations and other festivities, visiting his brother and his wife every chance he had gotten to dote on his cute nephew XuanYu.
Nie MingJue had done a remarkable job in protecting him from harm. So, by the time their little family had decided to move close to HuaiSang, XuanYu had become a well adjusted adult with a brilliant future ahead of him.
Nobody remembered him.
Or so Lan Zhan had thought.
Apparently, he had forgotten to wipe Jin Ling’s memories thoroughly. So, when The Nie family had come to greet HuaiSang’s friends YanLi and ZiXuan, A-Ling almost had a stroke out of incredulity and happiness for being reunited with his “A-Yu”. Even if Jin Ling was now older than the pretty-gege from his memories. Even if he had spent years trying to figure out why nobody seemed to remember the weird uncle living next door to his Jiujiu years back.
XiChen and Meng Yao had solved their problems and had started running the school together right after Wen RuoHan sudden and mysterious disappearance. The man had many enemies after all. 
A-Yuan had grown up into a fine young man, someone Wei Ying would have certainly been proud of, working with his cousin Wen Ning at the local botanical garden while his friends still studied in university. 
Nie HuaiSang had married Qin Su and opened a restaurant with her. 
MianMian and Wen Qing had decided to live together and adopt a bunch of dogs just because. 
Xiao XingChen and Xue Yang still lived together while Song Lan had found his way back to them after talking it out with the couple. 
A-Qing was probably running some sketchy business in social services to protect kids from horrible families.
Lan Zhan was still, unfortunately, a stuffed rabbit. Following XuanYu in his new life in the most unexpected of ways. In the form of the first present the boy’s uncle had gifted him in childhood. If Wei Ying had pulled a string or two from heaven to make that happen, well, Lan Zhan himself was none the wiser. The only thing he knew was that XuanYu had always taken him with him in all his travels even if he didn’t know he could speak. Lan Zhan had preferred not to reveal his nature and let the kid have a normal childhood. Especially since he had no memories of his past as a tenant in Jiang YanLi’s house. Nor of his life as a cultivator.
Wei Ying had agreed they could wait to be reunited again. The both of them wanting to look over XuanYu for a little longer before getting their own chance at reincarnation. They had all eternity to be together again... they could definitely wait a bit more for the kid.
All was well.
Aside from the other person whose mind Lan Zhan had conveniently forgot to wipe clean of any memory of XuanYu.
In his defense, Lan Zhan had tried to make Jiang Cheng forget. But something about XuanYu must have touched him so deeply... that Lan Zhan had not been able to do much about it. The kid’s smiles and clumsy antics would always linger in the back of the other’s mind no matter how much he tried to ignore them.
Coming back from his job at ZiXuan’s firm, exhausted and vulnerable, Jiang Cheng decided to visit his sister the same day Nie MingJue had brought his family there. So he was particularly weak to the sight of a bright, soft XuanYu when YanLi introduced her younger brother to their guests.
To Lan Zhan’s absolute delight, Jiang Cheng immediately bowed down to a scary looking Nie MingJue and asked his son’s hand in marriage.
Yes, grovel to this precious boy and learn your place.
XuanYu only tilted his head at that weird man bowing to his parents and smiled.
His laughter ringing up to the sky, where Wei Ying was still listening.
From where he would have kept watching.
*
[I worked so hard on this please reblog]
*
[kobato means “little dove” I thought it was cute since XuanYu is a magpie! + I wanted MXY a chance at life and for once this is a reversal-sacrifice from WWX’s part and I think it’s neat.]
[JC would be 43 or so... which yikes. but this is all I could do. I don’t like huge age gaps but at least everyone is a consenting adult, okay?]
[the thing that started this was like “what if LXC was an only child and LWJ did not reincarnate bc he’s still in the afterlife or something? then the entire thing escalated so...yeah.]
now I will cry for ages. I worked so hard on this good god D:
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plan-d-to-i · 3 years
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What do you think of this?
https://twitter.com/wrecklwj/status/1380527202039554049?s=19
I think people who say the most often have little of value to impart.
I think there are a handful of quotes and a bucketload of (false) assumptions.
I think it's a masterclass in missing the actual point, but they're ofc a jiang cheng stan so... on brand ig?
YZY is an antagonist. She's one of the obstacles the mc has to face but she's also a clever commentary on the fallout of a particular form of recognizable parenting when taken to the extreme. The added fact that she treats the mc like crap, that she unjustly berates, punishes, whips and scars him firmly drive that point home-her behavior is not aligned with the moral ideal of the novel.
YZY doesn't invest any time in the tangible betterment of her children she just berates them and tries to alienate them from WWX. Unlike JFM who at least tries to impart lessons to jc. mxtx framed YZY's parenting as damaging. She mirrored it in jc's similarly fucked up parenting of JL. The generational consequences it has are self evident in JL's issues -issues that start to visibly resolve the moment he's shown actual healthy affection and support from WWX.
Meanwhile LWJ's mother Madam Lan, showed her kids more affection and warmth once a month than YZY showed her kids her whole life. Who are the more adjusted adults? LXC & LWJ or the guy who skins ppl alive over his rage and resentment issues and pushes his nephew into almost dying bc he doesn't feel he can ask for help? We have LWJ raising Sizhui, with, yes discipline, but also love and warmth. Who is the more emotionally stable, functioning child? LSZ? or the little rage bubble that Jin Ling is at the start? Unable to make friends or connections with others.
Lastly her treatment of WWX is an abuse of her power. Even WWX who never complains says his treatment is unfair in universe. We don't see anyone else whipping their head disciple. She's just a failure, as a wife, as a mother, as a leader. She's not. even. intelligent. She thinks Wen Chao wouldn't have hurt the important Clan heirs in the Xuanwu cave when homeboy wanted to KILL them. Diplomatically she flips her shit, doesn't EVEN manage to kill WLJ and instead gets the whole Sect decimated bc her pride can't handle the idea of the supervisory office, of answering to WLJ bc she's socially beneath her. WWX IS MORE MATURE even though it means having to accept losing his hand for the good of the Sect. She's the kind of person who makes her problem everyone's problem. Just like her son ends up doing.
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