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abbystoy · 8 months

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Dom!Ellie x sub!reader

Minors dni, especially men istg. JUST NO.

sexual. Just sexual.

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It was a night out. As always. You and Ellie were hanging out with her friends after a boring day of just scrolling on ur phones or watching a serie for the 5th time in a row a day.

U were enjoying urself until that one annoying dude called Owen decided to pick on u for the dress u were wearing. 'That dress's too short for you.' 'better watch out for these old creepy dudes' he said in a playful tone but Ellie on the other hand didnt buy it. Yeah he had surely made jokes for u and her being together in an 'innocent' way but today it was e.n.o.u.g.h

'You better watch your fucking mouth u dirty scum bag' Ellie spat out not caring if Owen would get offended. 'the fuck did u jus-' before he knew it Ellie grabbed him by his coat making everyone around the club back up including her friends.

''I- im s-sorr..' 'spit it out u fucker' Ellie said it but in a tone ud never hear. Oh man, she was really tired of his bullshit.

Owen managed to break free from Ellies grip which led her to give him a glare that could literally poke a hole in his eyes. 'I- i guess ill leave.. Its pretty late heh' was all he said before he sprinted out without caring if he looked pathetic.

'Are you alright babe?' Ellie said to u snapping u from ur internal shock of what had just happened. 'Oh, um yeah im fine els dont worry' ud slightly smile to her

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The drive home was really awkward. None of u had much to say after that night's drama. You were mostly happy that this happened bcs Owen wouldn't be up ur ass neither ellies but on the other side kind of shocked because ud never seen Ellie get that stern with somebody.

After u both arrived home u decided to speak up first 'thanks els, but u really didn't need to get that ma-' she caught u off by her now low voice. 'Oh yes I had to.' U slightly gulped and gave her an off smile. You both decided to take a shower but instead of that it ended up the other way around..

You were taking off your clothes while Ellie was cleaning her hands and before u could even realize she was behind u. Oh fuck. Her hips against ur ass before she gripped the flesh of it.

You yelped by the sudden grab which turned on Ellie even more.

'What was that babe?' She whispered in your ear 'els.. not right now plea-' she suddenly cut u off 'if not now then when?' U didn't answer because u were either too scared or wanted to see how it'd end. 'So now u decided not to be too noisy huh? Yeah? That's how u wanna do until I fuck u dumb with my fucking cock.'

Your eyes widened at her touch of her boney slim fingers on ur waist. She harshly turned u around to face her and to also see your pretty tits hanging around there. 'Fuck els. You're irresistible.' Was all u managed to say, she giggled 'yeah, now bend that ass over and wait for me' u quickly did what she said.

After 5 minutes from digging in the box under your shared bed she finally came. Strapped on with her 7 inch purple transparent cock. 'Cmn y/n u better get that little pussy ready fo' me'.

You instantly felt an ache in your core that was slowly growing more and more. 'Els.. please.. I wanna feel u in m-' u couldn't even finish your sentence because of ellie's aggressive thrust into you 'guess the cat got your tongue' she playfully laughed along with ur low whimpers.

5 minutes in and u were already falling apart. 'O-oh my.. ellie.. I think I am ab-bout t-t- to come..' ellie knew it before u said it because of your pussy clenching around her cillicone cock that was attached to her hips and clit. 'You don't get to cum until I say so.' Your eyes widened because you knew if you did otherwise ud get a loooong long punishment. 'E-els nghhh.. I can't.. ' 'oh yes u can my slut'

Another 5 minutes of her not telling u to come. It was pure torture 'eeeels..' ud whine and she cover ur mouth with her palm. 'Fuck.. fine whore. Be good for mommy and let that pretty little pussy of urs come all over my cock.' Her words instantly gave u a relief of that knot in ur lower stomach being released. 'A-aah baby I'm cumming..' was all u managed to say to her. After you came down from ur orgasm ellie wouldn't stop her thrusts. Instead. She'd grab ur waist and push u deeper into her. 'I-i can't take it anymore..' 'yeah? Can't take mommy's cock anymore? Well too bad. Ull learn to do so.' Ur eyes widened as u felt a sudden orgasm washing all over u. U were seeing stars and ur muffled moans under her palm were even worse. 'Shit baby. U got so fucking wet. Good fucking job.' After u came down for another orgasm u breathed heavily and said 'all thanks to u baby' with loud panting.

Ellie slowly pulled out of u and there when u felt empty. Out of nowhere she pushed back into u causing a desperate,loud moan to come out of u 'FUCK. ELLIE. AAH.' 'that's what happens when u don't pay attention my slut.' She started going in and out slowly and fast each time. Your legs were trembling and wanted to give up but ellie held them. 'O-o-oh my- aaah fuck.' As u were about to come for the 3rd time she pulled out of u. Eyes filled with tears u whined like a desperate puppy 'shshsh atta girl. Don't be an impatient whore.' Ellie kneeled infront of ur pussy 'she's so fucking wet' (she referred ur pussy as her) as she collected some juicies from ur slit and reached for ur mouth 'Suck.' U did it with no second thoughts and ellie absolutely enjoyed every moment of it 'Good girl' she praised u and suddenly ur clit felt that eagerness to be sucked. 'Els p-please touch me' was all u said and ellie dived in. U grabbed a fistful of her auburn hair and pushed her face more in. 'A-ah right there' 'shut up bun' she said muffled and pussy drunk. She toyed with your clit until u felt u another knot forming in. 'Els,I'm about t-to c-come..' Ellie suddenly stopped eating u out and pushed 3 fingers inside of u. Your grip on her hair instantly tighten only for her to groan(she loves having her hair pulled by u) 'fuck baby' she felt her core dripping from her boxers. 'Let's go to the bedroom..'

And oh fuck. This was going to be an exhausting yet satisfying night

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(WROTE THIS AT 8AM N WAS SLEEPY I APOLOGIZE FOR ANY MISTAKES OR IF IT WAS TOO SHORT)

#Dom!ellie x reader #tlou #tlou2 #ellie williams #needyreader #mommy k!nk #mommys little girl #ellie tlou #ellie x fem reader #ellie the last of us

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monkiebois · 1 year

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Feel free to ignore this if this is spoilers, but I'm curious. How did Macaque react the first time he saw Mei’s heat stroke/sick spells from the Samadhi Fire?

theres actually very few things that are spoilers from the kids past. so i dont mind any questions about it especially since its likely gonna take another month for the ask blog to start bc of this dang comic :)

(sooooorrry lilac i stuffed this in my drafts cause this was getting long and i had to go to bed)

(im writing this when im almost done with this writing bit and ooooh boi lilac what have you done/ evil pos)

aright writing this as i finished writing this and oh boy oh boy oh boy this one needs some MUSIC

youtube

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"k-kiwi...whats wrong?" Macaque asked, his hands shaking around her small frame. She had asked to rest with him on his folding chair while he was watching Mk. she seemed tired to he hesitantly let her sit next to him only for her to crawl onto his chest and sleep there.

but something was wrong, she seemed tired but now she wouldn't respond to him, she whined as if she was having a nightmare. He checked her forehead and she was burning up.

"sh-shit mei, mei open your eyes!" Macaque was now sitting up and holding mei back with his arms, her eyes were scrunched up, her tails wrapped tightly aroun herself, her ears folded back and sweat trailed down her face unnaturally.

"Papa!" Mk rushed up to Macaque and emmediatly put his attention on Mei "wh-what do you know whats happening? Mk baby whats going on with Xiaojiao" Macaque asked, his voice wavering even more by the second.

"she needs baba! Baba said that if Mei ever got really really hot to get her to-" Suddenly Macaque scooped Mk into his arms and they dropped. Macaque gripped Mk tighter as he yelped due to the sudden fall but when Mk opened his eyes they were back inside of the house and Macaque gently set him down.

"WUKONG, WUKONG!!" macaque yelled out, grasping Mei tighter to his chest. she was hot to the touch, burning his skin through his clothing but he only held on tighter as he searched the house for the girls father.

"W U K O N G!!" He screamed one final time as he finnaly ran into Wukong with adult form Nezha right behind him.

"whats wrong plum, wha-" Wukong froze at the sight of Mei in his arms and the pure fear and panic written across his body.

"sh-she wasnt moving and wouldnt respond i-i didnt know what to do" Wukong took Mei into his arms "Mk told me to bring h-him to you"

Wukong turned to Nezha "Nezha, explain to Macaque whats happening. Ill take care of Xiaojiao" Wukong stated then turned away to leave.

Nezha watched Wukong take Mei into another room and sighed before turning back to Macaque.

Nezha noted to himself how Macaque kept his stance stiff and straight up but the way his eyes scanned across the closed door wukong was behind, how his tail twitched anxiously and his hands twitched open and closed. he was even pale.

Nezha would have found it hard to believe that the man who proclaimed he never needed anyone, that he was only here so Xiaotian wouldn't die from poor care, and that he had nothing else to do, was so genuinly concerned for his little sister if it wasn't for those telltale signs

"Mei...has the samadhi fire"

With those words what remained of Macaques cracked mask finnaly shattered, his eyes widened as he looked at Nezha.

"only a piece of it, she was born with it...which is why we cant remove it. but sometimes, since she's so young, her body cant handle its power and she overheats. wukong is trying to remove the excess magic a-"

"remove it!?! god's i knew Wukong would be shit with kids but removing the excess magic?!" Macaque suddenly snapped his entire demeaner went from scared out of his mind to angry and determined as he stormed past Nezha. Nezha tried to grab him but Macaque's arm turned to shadow and slipped through his grip.

Nezha called after macaque and followed him into Xiaojiaos room where Wukong sat on her bed with Mei in her arms.

"wukong don't you dare remove her excess magic, i swear to the god's do you have any idea what that will do to her?!" Macaque snapped almost slamming the door on Nezha before noticing him and leaving it open.

"you.stay," Macaque pointed at Nezha then turned back to wukong "you both need to hear this because apparently no one in this house understands magic!" Macaque groaned while weaving something blue between his fingers.

"Youth magic is unstable for a reason. its shaping itself. she might have fire type magic because of that ring but it needs to shape itself to Mei and her soul so that she can control it in the future." The blue within Macaques hands shaped into small glass like cubes.

"you know ice magic?" Nezha asked.

"very little, i can only make cubes that dont melt" Macaque now weaved purple through his fingers and wrapped the ice in what looked like his shadows. when he was finished a small ice pack made of no-melting ice and shadows rested in his hand. He approached Wukong who had her tail wrapped around Mei and looked about ready to cry.

Macaque hesitated but then sighed and put a hand on Wukongs cheek. "its alright, you didnt know" Macaque comforted as he kissed her forehead. he moved to Mei and shifted her arms so that h could slip the ice pack into her arms and she could hold onto it like a plush.

"has it been getting worse?"

"yes" Wukong said defeatedly.

Macaque kissed her cheek this time "taking her magic was why, but she's still young so it hasn't caused any damage" Macaque stepped away from Wukong and folded his arms "it might be rough but she needs to sit through it, if she doesnt her magic will only get more and more unstable because it cant develop. since she has the samadhi-well, a piece of it, her body and magic need to learn to live with each other and survive-"

"b-but what if it doesnt?" Nezha asked, macaque turned to him and also noticed a little curious monkey hanging onto his leg.

"it will, she has a seal on her magic right?"

"yes"

"then she'll be fine-"

"but what if she isnt, we cant soley depend on what works for everyone else. Mei has a piece of the Samadhi fire what if she gets worse no matter what we do and then her body cant handle it anymore!" Nezha snapped.

Macaque stood silently, his tail swishing as a million replies ran through his head. instead Wukong stood up and handed Mei to Macaque so she could hold Nezha .the moment Wukongs arms wrapped around the lotus prince he instinctively turned to his smaller form and Wukong had to adjust his arms to hold Lil Nezha up.

"its alright Lotus, this is whats best for Mei"

"taking her magic would only make her more unstable as she grows older, she needs the chance to develop" Macaque said shifting Xioajiao in his grip.

"we'll all be there for her, I promise," Wukong said as she scooped up Xiaotian into her arms as well.

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After that conversation Macaque made more Ice-he hated the ice, despised it. but Kiwi needed it and he was not going to deny her this comfort--and filled up a bathtub where he set her down and let her rest. the ice was colder then normal ice and the water hissed upon touching her skin but one Macaque was able to sit her down within the tub she seemd to relax. So Macaque sat on the closed toilet seat and let out a big sigh.

"thank you" Wukong said from the doorway.

"dont thank me, i just-"

"you didnt want to deal with my moping because i hurt my kid, you only helped because the kid deserved a chance, you didnt help because you actually genuinly cared....i know, i know. I think after three years of raising these kids with you ive heard all of your excuses" Wukong ranted, chuckling when Macaque turned his head away and huffed.

"say what you want, i think we both know just how much you care about these kids...and not just Mk....Xiaojiao, heh even Nezha"

Macaque didnt face Wukong, merely kept his head down as if the floor was the most interesting thing at the moment.

"god's" He finally groaned, burying his hands in his face. "what the fuck have i gotten myself into..."

Wukong blinked, then approached Macaque slowly "i cant...i cant be a parent" He sighed.

"what do you mean, Macaque youve helped me with so mu-"

"there's more to parenting than just, knowing the basics wukong!" Macaque snapped, causing wukong to flinch away the hand he was reaching out.

"i am not a good person, maybe i was back on flower fruit mountain but not anymore. that person is dead and gone and im just...im just a fucked up replacement" Macaque said, running his fingers throug the black fur on his arm.

"Maca-"

"Im selfish, im manipulative, i have hurt people for no good reason. i just wanted someone else to feel the exact same pain that i felt when i was abandoned and betrayed!" Macaque barked grasping onto the black fur on his arm.

"i cant be a parent...i cant-i cant hurt them..." Macaque's voice broke into a sob as he pulled on the black fur.

Wukong slowly approached Macaque and kneeled in front of him. Raising a hand to rest on his cheek and she pulled him forward to kiss macaques forehead.

"ive been watching you and when im not Nezha never takes his eyes off of you...in three years you havent hurt Mk or Kiwi. you love them as much as we do. we all have our flaws plums...but you care enough about those kids to change for the better" Wukong comforted as she wiped away faling tears with her thumb.

"but what...what if i fuck up." Macaque whispered, leaning into Wukongs hold.

"then own up to your mistakes and do what you can to fix them... there's no such thing as a perfect parent. But taking responsibility and growing from your mistakes is what makes a good parent" Nezha said suddenly back in his adult form and standing by the doorway. he looked between Macaque and wukong before turning away.

"...take it from someone who's had to deal with shitty parents..." Nezha finished before turning and walking away.

"i think he's finnaly warming up to you" Wukong smiled at Macaque who raised his own hand to hold Wukongs hand on his cheek and embrace the warmth of this intimate moment.

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yeah he uuuuuh, had mixed feelings.

concern, panic, fear....but because of that sudden fear his denial phase was shattered and he finally accepted that hes a dad.

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taegularities · 4 months

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Rid you're crazyyyyyyyyyyy

just finished cmi11 IM FUCKING CRYING holy shit that was so good oh god

first of all the conversation between oc and her mom made me cry so hard- it hit home for me, as a girlie with mommy issues, that part felt so real to me. Oc's courage to stand up for herself like that and tell her how much she hurt her own daughter is something i dont have in me. It broke my fucking heart, that yearning feeling, i cant believe you put that specific feeling into words rid [are u part of the mommy issues community as well🧐 or are u just that amazing, a true fucking artist (i saw that anon calling you the beyonce of ff and i agree 100%)] idk how to describe my feelings rn, that part definitely left a mark in my heart, ill never forget it

second the domesticity in these two dorks oh my goddddd they're driving me crazy, theyre so cute and in love and im in love with them and i want to cry bc i want what they have but bc irl men suck the hopeless romantic in me is gonna have to live through fanfics for the rest of my life and that makes me fucking miserable but bless the fanfic gods like you that keep my soul alive, idk what id do without you

lastly that scareeeeee oh god like i knew itd be a negative but it had my heart beating out of my ass (idk if thats a phrase) but the way they handled it oh god, the emotionsssssss the fears and insecurities, just reminded me that theyre human, even if theyre the most fucking adorable characters ever, theyre still human and i loved seeing such nuance. You really are doing an amazing job rid, not only writing the story, scenes and dialogue, but also the way you write these characters in such depth, its so fucking refreshing to see.

i want to kiss your beatiful head that holds your beautiful brain, seriously ive never ever been so enchanted by a piece of writing before (and i read so much fanfiction its like an addiction) you are by far my strongest fix. For real tho, your writing, and particularly cmi has touched me deeply and I'll never ever forget it. So thank you

Rest assured and stop doubting yourself bc youre seriously incredible and so fucking talented. Now rest up and take care of yourself, i imagine its not easy to birth such work (i mean 36k you monster, i loved every second of it but damn girl take a break before you burn your brain out) but no srsly i hope youre eating well, sleeping well and doing things that make you happy and relaxed. You deserve all the best of this world rid🫂🩷

sincerely ~ 🐼✒️anon

panda hi hello oh my gosh, sorry for being late, but you mentioned so many important things, so i wanted to take my time HELLO!! never stop sending these lovely af reviews 🥺

i know... she really is inspiring bc the courage to stand up against someone you feared for so long is admirable. i'm part of both the mommy and daddy issues community even though it's gotten a lot better lol like i wonder why it's such a recurring theme in my fics 🤣 i'm so sorry you could relate to oc :( but i'm glad you liked the scene so much.

and ahhh the domesticity 🤧 it's been so so fun and relaxing to write!! real life romance can be hard to find, yeah :') so i guess writing these scenes and chapters has been extra cathartic (although it drives me crazy, too — the next chapter has been making me so jejfhdjjsgd), but here's to finding a cmi jk irl soon :') much more to come!!!🕯️

the scare was one hell of a ride 🥺 i cried a lot!! and even i have been realising lately that i sometimes try to make my characters flawless, but that's actually not what i wanna go for. i always snap out of it and then try to make them flawed bc they're human, and i think the cmi couple, despite how endearing they are, is definitely vv flawed :') thank you for pointing that out 🥺

your strongest fix?? girl PLEASE ILL CRY 😭💔 i love you so much, you're so sweet for saying that and seeing me in such a way, pls i want you here forever <3 i rested a lot after cmi11! but ngl, cmi11.5 almost burned me out ksjdhehd gonna rest even more after that hehe. tyssssm, i hope you're well and healthy and i appreciate you so much for your kindness, reassurances and love for this series/me. love you so much 🤍

#MWAH see you tonight<3 #notes for rid 🌹#🐼✒️ anon #fic: colour me in

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hollowsorrows · 9 months

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How was the latest chapter in ymu?

OH BYO OH BOY OH BOY absolutely destroyed me!!!! made me lose my shit for about two whole days!!!! it was BAAAD. and its also THE most game changing thing to happen so far. gonna put what happens under the cut bc spoilers 😁😁

i just finished typing this oopsies i rambled about the entire comic

cw for a lot of things.

SO. lemme set the scene for you. you have 3 main characters: KK, BK and RK.

kk is the main protagonist. he is the 8th generation in a long line of heroes; the KK clan. he is utterly shit at being a hero and hes still so bubbly and silly and honestly kinda childish but i dig it hes aweaome. he also has some traumaaaa!!! bros dad kinda sucked (he was like. WAY too immature to be a father; worth noting that he's the 7th generation kk) and when his father didnt come back home from war his mom went out to figure out what happened to him and kickass. which left kk all alone for like around 10 years maybe more if im being honest. hes not okay <3333

bk, we know JACK SHIT about. hes the demon king/devil, whatever you prefer. he likes animals. he likes carrots. hes straightforward, blunt, and way too trusting and forgiving. but like people are scared of him cuz hes the fucking devil he just hasnt used his magic yet. it will be plot relevant im 99% sure. we know Nothing about his past. we know he was involved in the war against humans and demons when kk was a kid (which kk's dad fought in). and bk was essentially a refugee. he ran to the desert and some shit happens but its quite literally blurry we dont know whay happened. hes VERY overprotective of kk too!! like VERY over protective ykyk. so somethings going on with him.

RK. OH BOY, RK. rk is like severely fucking insane like genuinely he has so many fucking problems. he is surprisingly the one we know the most about considering how much of a mystery he was in the older chapters. he calls himself the alien and doesnt reveal his name. he flies. he has a box on his head all the time. he has a dead ghost girl hallucination thingy that he talks to ghat nobody else sees. he has a gun. hes amazing. dude has canonically committed quite a few attrocities like man. his first on screen murder was fucking BRUUUTAL. "see you in hell." GOD he makes me insane. anyways his past is SUPER fucked up; born with magic unlike anything his family has ever seen before, the king (his adoptive father) exploits it and uses it to kill captured demons. he also had this whole thing where he found kk's mom in jail, kept a photo of her and kk, and helped her escape which did end up killing her. and he forgot that. anyways dude has some fucked up shit happening and is severely gone in the head

worth mentioning that in season 2 the three find the one eyed village which is keeping a princess there. princess violet. ill talk about her a bit more later in the post. the one eyeds get fucking evaporated by a group of demons that are specifically out to get bk, and only a golden tree remains of the village. rk knows about this. kk doesnt know ANYTHING

so. this expansive lore stuff is revealed like throughout the comic in pieces. and it starts out funny and sillt and like slice of life comedy but it gets fucked up around season 3 where kk gets his sword fixed and it becomes alive. he then basically dies and goes to this world where he is fucking god. and his sword is there. and its imbued with the soul of this random ass guy qho we call the musician. and its fucky wucky. the guy who fixed the sword also had a buncha kids hidden behidn a wall and rk takes them each to their hometowns via magic portals whatever. this is also where we see rk fucking shoot said guy and go actually insane for like 15 minutes. ill show screenshots cuz what the fuck man. then season 4 where princess violet, a character from another kingdom whos sister (named princess L) killed herself during a fire in the kingdom (said sister is also rk's brother's fiancé no this is not confusing), goes through what is essentially a demon realm where she has to adhere to the rules of a demon her sister kept and find out which of her 6 sisters killed princess L. in the end its revealed that it was a suicide which is lovely :)

season 4.5 goes more into rk's past and rk's brother, rj. like. rj is the king of the kingdom, since rk's adoptive father passed away. hes a really cool guy but is DEFINITELY either marked by or an avatar of the lonely iykwim. he has like no loved ones around him he is alone man. he was also princess L's fiancé! i love him. anyways rk and rj reunite but then rk kinda hates the r kingdom so he leaves and also finally reveals to kk hes actually insane so :)

season 5 has like this tower which will be relevant i think cuz there was a teaser of kk's teacher entering it the end of season 6 season 1 and being shrowded by darkness. its not sinister at all trust me :). i dont remember this one well but it had to do with the best side character ever angel do i love you do

season 6 season 1. huge lore dump on rk's part. kk bk and rk find this tower that is stopped in time. two wizards live inside: oz, the moon wizard, and of, the sun wizard. they control the moon and the sun. they also are prophets, disciples of the first kk, and know a lot about what they shouldnt! including rk's forgotten past :) they task the gang to go to this portal and defeat the demon paimon lest it unleash chaos into this world. and they do!

along the way kk finds out about the one eyeds. he loses trust in bk, and rk has to give him a pep talk and it genuine is kinda sound actually the only w rk ever had

and they find the portal. they enter the realm. the demon there is named paimon, and is a fucjing bitch and was foreshadowed ALL THE COMIC. and are tasked with going through each a designated room. each room has a shit ton of clones of the characters. only the real one can go through the door at the end. kk goes through just fine, although he had a bit of conflict. bk made it through bc ofc its bk. and rk. oh. rk. his room is empty with scortch marks on the ground. and theres fog. its implied that he killed all of the rk's before proceeding. he goes through the door. as it turns out, the real rk already made it past the door, scratched up, from whay it seems. and what does the fake rk do??? he shoots the real one. in the heart. the real rk dies. just like fucjing that.

did i mention that rk cannot die?? hes tried killing himself. a lot. but each time he regens. the only places he hasnt tried are the heart and the head. so the fact that he was killed via the heart. ugh its so good its amazing from an analytical perspective i ranted about this before but its genuirnly amazing. the character thay is established as being hard to kill. killed at his own hands. it was his own hubris that failed him. raintime you bastard you are a fucjing genius how did you write such an amazing comic

oopsies that was not meant to be the entire comic :) also i need to mention that these guys look like this

blue haired ones kk, black haired ones bk, blonde bitch is rk

#sorry for subjecting you to this cricket do u still love me

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yuukei-yikes · 1 year

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ah! if you're taking questions about the fankids, can i ask about what's going on about the whole reincarnation thing? (how konoha finds out, if anyone else figures it out, even how he finds out about konoha (before he died) and the whole "daze" thing in the first place. poor kid's got a lot to deal with lol)

YIPPEEEEEEEEEE <- this yippe was written before i finished writing the reply. no yippee anymore. under the cut bc i also went crazy long with this and its embarrassing and erm erm erm erm. hehe. so much mental illness i basically wrote a fic under the cut

i've actually answered this before BUT im changing my answer. when i answered that ask konoha and ayame were only like 40 hours old so now it's simmered in my head better...hehehehheheheeh <- my evil laugh because im abt to give konoha 80 mental illnesses.

so i know i linked to the old answer but if u went to read it just forget abt everything i say in there

yknow how i talked abt like overprotective parents haruka&takane in my last ask LOL i actually had a big wall of text that i deleted while answering because it was rly sad and it got super long and i was like erm. maybe another time and THEN I GOT THIS ASK AND IM LIKE BOYYY WHY DID I DELETE THE TEXT but whatever i'll just go crazy now and even more bc i can dedicate the whole space to it HEHEHEHEHHEEH

konoha is nonverbal for years and since ayano works with kids i think she knows sign language teehee and when it became obvious konoha wasn't going to speak as a kid haruka&takane are like. well. let's do that ig. mekakushi dan learning sign language arc 💖 still is nonverbal most of the time i think. if i had thought of it beforehand i would've kept it for present time JUST IMAGINE THE DOODLES I MADE THE FIRST TIME HE'S SIGNING EVERYTHING IVE DECIDED MY NEXT GEN KONOHA IS NONVERBAL. HE DICHO. CASO CERRADO

ok they're overprotective not only bc they're disabled4disabled and terrified that konoha will one day wake up and be diagnosed with u got 6 years to live type of thing but also. konoha autism swag

and when konoha becomes a toddler shit goes down. then he starts hallucinating and having all these night terrors abt stuff like hibihiyo's timeloop and reviving azami over and over while she was living in the real world but also he's a kid so he doesn't really register all this horrifying stuff the same an adult would duh. and he kind of ALWAYS saw it he just can put it into words now ig. so he's not like AUUUUGHHH he's more like.. confused and scared. he's also not super communicative and i dont mean that bc he's nonverbal like even if he is, he still speaks through signs!! but he's still kind of quiet and slow and etc. like he IS konoha yknow?? he's just like playing and hanging out and suddenly just sees azami and he's like erm mom can u tell the lady in the corner to go away :(( and takane's like LOL. GET IN THE FUCKING CAR. he just gets diagnosis or derivations to other doctors and a child therapist etc and its not wrong bc HE IS completely human now and that whole thing IS translating into not only a human mind but like A TINY human mind. basically mental illness. so many mental illnesses.

HE'S STILL A RLY HAPPY KID...BUT THERE'S SO MUCH TO GET THRU... it's not like he's permanently hallucinating or having night terrors every night either he leads a fairly normal life!!! and is a little kid and has fun and plays around and he's so so so sweet and rly happy!!! but. there's also The Horrors.

i dont think the dan would hide their powers. like yeah sure kano can turn into a cat yippeee!! if we lose a toy we go to hibiya he can find anything!! seto can ALWAYS guess what number we're thinking of it's so funny!! LIKE IT'D BE CUTE RATIO + PLAYING + HAVING FUN OK? PEACE AND LOVE ON PLANET EARTH, OK!?!?!?!?

but the thing is that haruka saw everything konoha did like THEY WERE. YEAH. haruka & konoha is a THING so i think konoha can ask something and haruka's increasingly like HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT bc there is no way ANYONE could've told him that like the only person who would know is. WELLLLLL KONOHA? i think the big reveal can happen thru konoha being like hey. do u remember when we talked. in that big white room that never ended. that was rly weird lol like when did that happen. where even were we lol. also u were yelling thats so weird u never yell it was scary. lol!! and haruka's like Hehe(shaking) bc as soon as he realises He Cannot Stop realising

what the dan doesn't say is their story ofc bc it's rly sad and like why would they tell their kids abt that lol but. konoha starts asking Questions... Very Specific Questions.

ok sorry i havent even gotten to the way he finds out he's even awakening eyes LOL i think haruka realises btw. he realises before konoha realises. well konoha DOESNT realise. but he HAS been having this identity crisis and he's like damn i already transed my gender WHAT IS IT THIS TIME and he keeps asking these oddly specific questions that are freaking everybody out because he's not even really asking about their pasts?? he's just like mixing his old memories to his current memories and being like uncle shintaro remember when we fell off that high place together :3 and shintaro's like what the fuck are u talking about. like he doesn't describe it specifically enough or whoever he's talking to just assumes someone else told him abt something that happened back then.

like THATS HIS OTHER SELF so haruka isnt even doubting it, as soon as he realises HE DOESNT UNREALISE HE DOESN'T TRY TO CONVINCE HIMSELF OTHERWISE once he knows HE KNOWS. but konoha still doesn't know he's just kinda watching haruka having like a crisis or something.

from then on erm.... about how to manage it... well it'd be a complicated situation. haruka obviously tells takane and she's like ur fucking crazy lol im gonna go talk to him *leaves* *comes back* ok u were right. how the fuck did we even create this.

basically the dan knows before konoha does and it becomes a rly complicated subject about what to do about it because most of them are like the only way to rly make sure is to talk to konoha and they dont know if they wanna do that because they'd have to come clean about their horrible story and yknow konoha's just a kid!! but also if he IS konoha and everything he is seeing are those awful memories then he should know? for peace of mind? maybe? it's... a whole thing. like konoha isn't.... suffering. like obviously all his mental issues are awful but it's not like they will go away just by having context to some stuff. he's still a happy kid. the dan's like ok somehow haruka and ene created a freak of nature. it happens.

like what if they tell him and then all the memories become super clear. why would they wanna do that. most of the memories are total ass and awful. but also konoha's clearly confused and feels so lost. but maybe that's better than him being properly traumatized by remembering everything??

at the end of the day haruka and takane are the parents and they have to decide lollll man they'd be so torn about it. konoha probably throws a line like i just always feel like im forgetting something. THEY'D BREAK DOWN ON EACH OTHER SO BAD AND KONOHA'S LIKE WHYYYY ARE U GUYS CRYINGGGG!?!?! srry haruka and takane for putting u thru the horrors. i think it's funny to do that. congratulations on the marriage and the kid but also cry about it

erm. idk if or how they'd tell him. this is all i can come up with now. bye tune in for next chapter i fucking guess

#ask tag #dont look at me. im THINKING.#kagekids #headcanons

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catspinach · 7 months

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ive been meaning to vent on here about work for a long time now so here

i was hired in as a shift supervisor at a brand new starbucks with all brand new employees aside from another supervisor, Mylah, who is a 4yr partner(remember her), and maybe 2 others or so. none of us knew what we were doing. i was barista trained separately from the rest, followed by supervisor training, and then a week off. I came back and had no idea what the hell i was doing, and everyone was mad that i didnt know what to do??

Mylah trained me, and it was brutal. She would critique everything i did, and I always defended myself, saying "why do i need to do it that way if this way gets the same results?" and she did Not like that lmao and the entire training was incredibly tense.

Months pass, and she is worse than ever. she's had several lectures about her behavior but not a single writeup. Nothing has changed. She trained a new supervisor a few weeks ago, and she treated her the same way as she did with me. At some point she slammed a freezer and started shouting, making her cry, and Everyone in lobby turned their heads. i felt awful and wanted to say smth, but I'm genuinely scared of her. Everyone is. Several people have admitted to me that they call off when they see Mylah on the schedule.

The other day, the lobby was empty, and we were free to talk about all the harassment we've faced with her. I cant even remember all of it there's so much but uh here's a list of stuff i remember:

My manager gave Jenn some extra hours, and when they came in, Mylah cornered them, asking why they stole all her hours?? Jenn was comfused because they were literally just added to the schedule so that they would have enough bodies on the floor. Apparently Mylah was pissy at them for the entire rest of their shift, which sucks bc they were already working 12hrs that day:'(

I became friends with a barista named Diana, who is hispanic, and Mylah (white) would always say rude things that made her uncomfortable, saying its okay because her bf is mexican ._. It became a problem and eventually Mylah started looking through all her stuff to get her fired, and succeeded. Diana told me that Mylah would joke with the other baristas about how im stupid and bad at my job, and she said she always stood up for me which definitely did not help her with this whole situation but I greatly appreciate her for it, and we still talk!

Anna said Mylah was talking to her about me and how i do my job wrong. she said i don't face the bills the same way in the deposit bag, and that I dont fill in the money order right so I'm the reason we have so many goddamn nickles, and she said I don't double count the drawers and that's why there's so many mistakes with the deposit. the funny thing is, i DO face the bills the same way, I have never even DONE a money order because that's morning's job, I TRIPLE count the drawers bc i have anxiety, and nobody has EVER said anything to me about the deposit being off.

At some point someone said ret*rded, and Mylah is autistic and was rightfully mad, and brought her to the back to yell at her. not sure what she said but when she came back she went up to me, and only me, and apologized. so like that really hurted but okay whatever ill just go kill myself ig

Mylah was opening one day and told Morgan that since I was closing that it would probably take longer than usual to close? I asked Morgan how Mylah was with closing, and she said that nothing gets done until the absolute last minute, and it takes at least half an hour to finish closing. My record is 2 minutes past close.

Jenn and Taylor told me that I'm their favorite out of all of the shifts, because I make sure to get everything done, I am fast, efficient, and if they have a question I will do my best to figure out a solution for them. Apparently, when they ask Mylah a question, she answers with, "I dont know man, I just work here" and walks away. which like. mood. but she's getting paid 20/hr compared to the baristas at 15/hr, and there is absolutely no reason that the baristas should have to pick up her slack.

Anna used to be friends with Mylah, and they went to get piercings together, and Mylah thought it would be super funny to snapchat Anna having a panic attack about the needle! outside of work, but still fucked up

theres more idk

Mylah got it in my head that I'm the worst of all of the supervisors, and when I found out I was almost all the baristas' favorite, I started visibly shaking with relief! Ive been trying so so hard to make up for how "bad" i am at my job in fear that everyone will hate me otherwise, and now I gind this out and I don't know how to handle this information jdgdheb

I asked them if they would like to talk to the manager as a group, hoping that will show her just how serious the situation is. I don't usually pray for someone to get fired, but I want her ass permanently out of my sight asap

#vent #there's more going on with another supervisor but Mylah is really my main issue #the other supervisor goes around every morning and writes a list of all the stuff i missed the night before and posts it for everyone to se #i love my job #theyre my only problems actually tho like i do enjoy my job for now and i dont have to see Mylah a lot since we're both shifts

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certified-scoundrel · 8 months

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Plant Abuse: yay or nay?

an ongoing ‘scientific’ ‘study’ inspired by the hit book and tv series, Good Omens

WARNING: i may sound like an absolute wanker in this, as all of my knowledge of plant care, the scientific method, and other such things are based entirely on 3 things: my 9.5th grade level biology skills (.5 bc did some self studying for funsies), my 9th grade level chemistry skills (i took chem in 10th grade, im just not very good at it), and a fuck ton of googling.

yeah this post is gonna be a beast, so feel free to scroll to the end for a tldr (you will miss out on all of my absolutely hilarious jokes)

ever since i watched Good Omens, i was really curious as to whether or not yellingtalking to plants would actually help them grow. when i took to researching this, the articles were all over the place. one article would say ‘no, talking to your plants has no affect on them’; another article would say ‘yes, but womens voices are more affective than mens’; the article after that would say ‘yes, but you’d have to talk to your plant for hours for the vibrations to have any affect on them’. so, i decided to throw all common sense reminding me good omens is a fantasy story out the window and try this for myself.

now, im probably one of the literal worst people to try this out for many many reasons. one key issue is that i am extremely unintimidating. crowley scaring his plants into growing would definitely be a lot less affective if he was a 5’7 lanky teenager with joint problems. another, albeit more realistic reason, is my innate ability to fuck things up in the most random way possible. im not concerned about forgetting to water the plants or something like that, im concerned about somehow getting the plants so upset with me that they start a plant revolution and subsequent overthrow of my bedroom. obviously im being a bit hyperbolic, but its honestly just a bit. im like the main characters in a nickelodeon sitcom whos plans always go to shit even after they explain them aloud to each other.

however, despite all signs pointing me to put down my plant mister and finish my summer reading, i know what i was put on this earth to do: to be the reason there are ‘do not attempt this at home’ warnings on tv show’ and ‘for external use only’ labels on shampoo bottles. it is in my blood to beat the odds, to do things im extremely unqualified for, and to mirror the (sometimes questionable) things my favorite fictional characters do. It is time to metaphorically drink the apple-scented shampoo, and to finally settle this question.

now it is time to plan my experiment.

(most experiments have some sort of hypothesis, but im not like most scientists (im not one) so im skipping that. ill be leaving the hypothesizing up to you guys.)

once i get paid, im going to go to the nearest garden center to me and buy 3 matching houseplants and label them Plant A, Plant B, and Plant C. not sure what plants ill get, probably whichever ones are cheapest and the fastest growers, however once i have them i will do as much research as i can into how to care for them properly to avoid as many outside factors as possible. each individual plant will be placed in a separate room in my house, and treated nearly identically. I will do my best to keep things like water levels, sunlight levels, and things of that nature as constant variables. obviously, the independent variable will be how i treat the plants

~emotionally~

ill be completely silent when watering Plant A (Control). when i water the other the other two plants, ill spend a few minutes chatting with each plant. with Plant B, ill be kind to it, praise it, and other things of that nature; with Plant C, ill ridicule it, insult it, and so on. if the plants dont require daily watering (which i hope they wont), ill still pop in to talk to plants B and C every day. ill repeat this for however long i feel like, but at the end of every week ill take a picture of the plants to mark their growth and current state of wellness.

at this point, i can hear all of you saying ‘what the hell is wrong with this kid’. to that, i say: ‘that is a real loaded question, and im not sure you actually want an answer.’ i get it, just know. is this a stupid idea? yeah. is it the stupidest idea ive had? not by a long shot (see: drinking shampoo ‘joke’ referenced earlier)

TLDR: im going to buy 3 houseplants, keep one as a control, yell at one, and be nice to the other. every week ill take a picture of the plants to track their growth, and at the end ill compare all the photos to see how talking/yelling at your plants can affect their growth.

#Plant Abuse: yay or nay?#i spent an hour on this #i should be doing my summer reading #good omens #anthony j crowley #crowley #crowleys plants #experiment #good omens tv #good omens book #good omens season 1

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froqgy · 1 year

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super ultra huge tunic the game spoilers blah blah dont look if even want to slightly see it for yourself no fail mode super long post again bc of doodles

cathedral time! the game told me to get scared so i got scared. i was scared the whole time. roger can attest to that. but also i was being soooooo brave.

so that was. um. so. where to begin. okay so first, i was scared. thankfully you could avoid most of them and easily dispatch the others. i only died once or twice in getting to... the next area.

also realized they or me don't have scarves. well my little brave fox is so specials.

roger said they made whimpering sounds, and i didn't hear them until later. 🥹

the altars or whatever they were worshipping... the 3 eyed robots having tentacles coming from that...wechatlaugh but it was a tiny bit expected if you've read a previous liveblog. if i have to encounter them for real like that ill shit myself. also those poor husher birds getting corrupted like that..

so i went into the

god that thing is SO scary... i wonder if that one is unique from all the ones they were cramming into the pillar nodes. i have to say the fucked up christian imagery is funny and i cant take it that seriously. they put that fucked up fox on the cross. also i realized i think this was the only scene i remembered from the trailer. i drew what i remembered seeing in a prev liveblog...

so i went to activate the pillar and the fox was ..gone when i went back so i was thinking it either was submerged or sacrificed or it left to be a boss or all of the above.. scared btw... still bc i don't know the answer. i didn't walk up to it before that bc i was... scared. so anyways i went to the basement so frightened for my life, thankfully i had my trusty coin to give me comfort... ill draw that later. i stalled going down there chatting and whatnot and drew this meanwhile bc i was like im hungry (it was 2am at this point).

roger's chips... anyways i finally headed down and realized what the tiny drawings on the map meant. . . trials to survive you have to do all in one go and also you only get one rest to heal presumably. FUCK okay it's going to be hellish but next time i gotta grind it out... sniff... my gamer pride is preventing me from during no fail mode on...

so that was the end of that session huh? not a very great note to end on seeing as another grind session starts immediately next time i play... (i should probably use items huh. but it's sooo hard) but. no. oh no. that was not the end. because tunic likes to scare and shock me all the time. let's head back a few hours into my session. i open the game. i see the "load game". i remember wondering earlier the menu options said new game and continue game, and thinking i could start a new game and see the intro again but i didn't remember if there were a save slots. so now i think, oh, well we already looked up the intro so it's less relevant now but it's good to keep in mind there's multiple saves. later i said we could replay the game after i finish (no fail mode...) and translate as we come acrosd the text... right.. so this information is important. that i checked the load game files in the menu..

BECAUSE.

because.

at the end of that session.. i decide to check how many hours i spent. in my ONE and ONLY save file... and guess what. guess what.

I see this. a second file that got added somehow during the events of everything i did this session. seemingly random amount of money, maxed out hours and stats, only 13 manual pages all of which are ones you get early on in the game, no gun but the magic item that i haven't seen in game, whose silhouette was present in the manual. now i know it's an hourglass that slows down time. but the... what loaded in... was the strangest of all. top down perspective, reminiscent of old loz games, my grayed out (looked gray purple to me but) fox in a hallway with a single gold line running down the corridors, empty save for me and the pots, which i promptly destroyed and did not respawn. maybe they will next time i load in. probably not unless they want to be so nice. hopefully that wasn't relevant or needed to solve the enigma that was this room.

I accidentally inserted this stupid poll and cant delete it.

eerie music plays here. the corridors repeated so i would go up and step into the bottom of the same room. "ah", i thought. "it's one of those puzzles." maybe. i didnt try very hard to figure out what to do. i tried to look through the manual pages they gave me, but couldn't determine much from them. i tried flipping the one coin i had. i tried turning the hourglass on, which slowly drains mana and makes you slow as well, letting me see how the dash looks like in slow-mo, which isn't great with which the angle of the fox's huge bobblehead goes I'll tell you that.

so. i dont know what to do!!! now. other than face the trials and mess with the second save file more to see if i can glean anything. I was hoping if i could figure out the supposed secret of the file, i could get the hourglass in my file that way... who knows... this game is doing something to me.

#tunic lb

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huntedspy · 1 month

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gonna scream into the void for a second

trying to be more genuine with myself and others. Reaching out or complimenting people even if I'm scared to do so. opening up to people more, asking for help or setting boundaries. I also want to feel less scared of how I use tumblr. I want to be able to use my main blog without feeling like ill annoy others, or being more open about my kin identities. I often feel cringe for it which makes no sense because this is the "cringe website". like I can and should be myself this is my online experience

I was planning to redesign my blogs' structures before making the Big Switch but I think that's what's holding me back

For about a month now too I've been building a personal website on github purely for my gender hoard, kinlist, and pronoun/name info. It was originally for ponytown (lol) but it's been helping me improve my html and css skills andddd its been making me feel more inspired to make a general personal website

the ideas I have for a personal website would to just make it my place. I want to have info about my ocs on there, thoughts on certain media, random pages with useless shit that are there just because its fun. and I want to include stuff like the gender hoard and kinlist pages on there too because again, I want to be more genuine

I am the most stressed and anxious I've been in so long. my jaw clenching has started up again, I'm getting acne again, I constantly feel tense and my chest is always anxious feeling and tight, I've been losing the motivation to make meals and eat and losing energy. I cant keep up with college and at this point I don't know if I made the right choice in computer science. I have a passion for working with computers, but I realize now that passion leaned more towards the IT side of things and. im in CS. I have no motivation or ideas for doing projects outside of coursework unlike a lot of my peers. I'm closeted so I feel like I'm just fitting their stereotype of "girl cant do cs!!!!!". fuck!!!!!!!!

parents stressing me out and overall not taking into accountability I have disabilities

thats another thing, I haven't been able to get my ADHD properly treated since I got it diagnosed 4years ago. I also know im autistic but I dont want to get formally diagnosed bc of several issues, so speaking up for myself with that disability is impossible when my parents don't think im autistic and don't like self diagnosis

maybe its not too late to finish my degree and do a 180 and get into 3d modeling. I'm sure my passion with art could mesh with my programming skills there or something

I don't know who I am really. I always feel like other people have aesthetics or themes that fit them, and here I am with so many different interests in aesthetics and themes that I cant choose one. hoe do people choose a theme for a website? how do people decorate their profiles with a clear and solid theme? I feel like I always have 20 different themes that I want at the same time, its hard to choose one and have people only perceive that one with you

I have a headache rn

on the plus side i also had the tastiest clementine in possibly my whole life

I always remind myself I am only 21 I am so young in the grand scheme of things. but outside pressure wants me to know who I am at this exact moment. its so hard

fish and aquariums have quickly become a special interest within the last 2 months id say. im debating between a 10 or 20 gallon and what id stock it with. im thinking honey gourami and neon tetras and shrimp, but I love the idea of a betta fish or a crayfish. I've had to take care of a crayfish before they're lively little creatures

I want to be more social with people and make new friends or at least gaming friends, but im always apprehensive because I know ill be masking. need to try to open up more, might play more vrchat to socialize but its hard

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fr3akinthecorner · 6 months

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ok lava mcgee how did i end up in ur room?? wait remember im not gonna tell u that part! oh yea ok what is up lava mcgee i'm gonna make a graffiti about this pls do :) are u bored? yea i am but u make my day brighter are u outside? omg no no no!! yes im outside are u mad? why did u respond mike that? it's a secret ok well yes i am mad that you're outside omg dang i'm scared why bc ur lava mcgee that's why ok so don't see u did it! don't walk towards that thing ok so stand still and ask him for something he seems busy ill wait ok i did it now go away! why??? bc i want to take a photograph?? omg i'm not sure how this works but do u really have to do that? just finish your cigarette you're really really sexy im gonna wait a bit to come back home u mean to class? no to home! i'm so confused but u should start class to.orrow ok well maybe i will?? it's all really good ur so creative 😻 remember the spell we did? i loved that collection ok stop!! take a deep breath no more talking im gonna take us back inside why don't u want to hang outside are u scared im gonna do something stupid? well yes and no! i promise i won't daddy ok ur better right? are u friends with him? he says he knows u? happy sexy just breathe ok im gonna breathe sorry i was just curious what he actually knows?? why? bc he said he talks to u ok ur in trouble oh no are u back in the room? yes i am ok don't do that again! which part? please shut the fuck up ok i will im sorry :( ur gonna be fine! just don't ask me questions omg hahaha i'm gonna die i love asking u questions why? bc ur a fun guy im sorry but like if i don't see your art on the wall im gonna get so sad u fr fr have to be my art teacher! i am working on it ok so u actually liked the art? i liked what it was about to become bc i knew it was the intro to the art is that rude? no its not rude i can see why you would come to that conclusion my art won't satisfy u WAHT THE FUCK yes it will!! but how do u know? bc i love everything about u and i have been in your manga for a very long time i believe it to be 29 yrs? really? yes and i don't want to leave so please let me stay and be my art teacher! mrs. butterscotch will come back deliver devil baby to me i think that devil baby is the diary of your life for the last 29 yrs and u already said that u would give it to me it's just a matter of the manga coming back to the chan family oh ok so you're. ore than ready to get fucked? hahaha i suppose but i don't care about sex it's what u want lava mcgee and i can tell that we will get along great now that we know more about each other! are u fucking anybody? no im not ok well ur only fucking me i love you so much i love you too lava mcgee 💗 school has to start soon and you're my only teacher so please let me in this time omg what! i didn't let u in??? im going to he'll nah ur gonnaive forever ily

#lava mcgee

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elaichoi · 9 months

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the v v v first time i saw ur acct was when u had the yeonjun prive alliance layout ^3^ those reincarnation aus made me saur emo T^T

i luv that for u agghh<3 not that there's anything wrong w it,but i find it most satisfying when ppl get into kpop from kpop-genre songs rather than western-sounding kpop songs lol my first kpop artists were b2st (highlight) and t-ara hehe

mhm yea mayybbe! i know 100% why i don't post them and its cos i used to be consistent w posting on both kpop & personal socmed accts but mental health happens and i kinda stopped bc numbers make me want 2 cry lmfao

except im slightly less mentally ill since that time now and yk i actually genuinely do rlly want to start all my socmed accts up again but im putting it off bc im a bit of a perfectionist and so im lazy to be doing all dat... all of nothin :D don't call the orderly i'm fine ^_^ /lh

2019-21? ah probably not then i'm pretty sure i was in and out of the school roster (pls tell me if i am oversharing/trauma dumping/crossing any boundaries bc i genuinely do not know i no longer have any social skills T_T /gen /srs)

hm i'm not sure tbh i only followed the one 😭😭 i haven't been on wattpad in a long ass time and i remember i tried seeing what wattpad was like nowadays and was v disappointed w the ads and paid stuff (i think i don't remember). booooo 👎👎

omg wait that's so cool aaaaah!!! i changed my user a lot so i honestly could not tell u bc i have goldfish memory ;__; i do remember i had a user like taempons(_) i think it had an underscore idk don't remember but i changed it (kinda wish i saved it ngl) and oh one i do remember was peachyjihoons (my wannaone phase lmao) but yeah im pretty sure my most recent user was some based on some tumblr shit like svnshine or something idfk 💀💀

u are already a talented writer save some for the rest of us 👺 /j if u could also draw u would be too powerful 👁️👄👁️

omg THAT WAS MY FIRST LAYOUT TOO!! this account isn't that old tbh i still haven't gotten the feel of writing smuts as of yet that's why i havent been much active on it BUT WAIT REINCARNATION AU?!? from my main???

DUDE I LOVE B2ST!!!! and t-ara!!!!!!!! i really got into kpop slowly because i fell for kdrama at first (found replay in one of the kdrama edit lmao) so like my music journey has been very, very kpop ish. i think the global influence in most of kpop songs started to become mroe prominent during 2018?

bro i get you like the fear of starting the stuff you love because you feel like you won't be able to give it all and starting it and feeling it like you're gonna disappoint yourself. i hadn't started anything since like 2017 until recently because i was scared i was gonna stumble, or it won't be good ( well mostly that) or i won't be able to finish that. me and my bff still has this one project we started around like 2018 lmao we both still haven't finished it or picked it up bc we developed the idea sm and got so close to it that we fear writing it now.

not OVERSHARINH I WANNA KNOW!!! NO but like FR wattpad went through the biggest glow down IVE EVer seen like. it's legit LEGIT inhabitable. like at first you take away the newsfeed?!? like how am i gonna pine over other accounts now?!? and then everything became paid and shit like wtf is that?!

omg i wonder if I ever saw you on my explore page or tags bro fr this is so interesting my ig handle has always been one tbh it's @celestialsoo ( my intense love affair with kyungsoo era) like since the dawn of the day.

YOU LIE!!!!! i wish i could fr draw tho i want to draw my muses :///

#love mails from my beloved anon!

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lunasootsprite · 1 year

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I dont use this blog but I will probably starting tomorrow.

Anyways right now I just need to speak I guess. I think people see me as an Idiot. My father especially. Today my car got towed while visiting a friend and I assumed it did bc apartment complexes do that all the time and I got outside to leave and my car was gone. I was horrified and I think in shock to the point where I was very calm

I didn’t know how to handle it but my friends told me it probably got towed, they would call and get me the number so we could get it sorted. So I catch a ride home from them and I tell my dad. He’s asking me why I didn’t call him first and wondering why i think it was towed. He asks where I parked and where I was near and then just assumes it was stolen. He’s getting angry asking why there is no haste in my voice and why I seem so calm. We drive back and as we get there I he makes me take a picture of the towing sign. Driving back he asks me questions about basic things that I had explained earlier and on the way over I mentioned that if for some reason we needed the keys I didn’t have them bc i left them in my room. This confuses him and he asks me to clarify. I do and as I finish I say “ Did you think I left them at the apartment and thats why I didn’t drive home? “ He says yes. I then follow up with I feel like you take me for a complete fucking idiot. He doesn’t deny it instead going well you said didn’t have the keys so i didn’t know what that meant.

He doesn’t see me as smart or an adult or even remotely successful in any aspect of my life. I don’t see myself as an adult either but having other people see you as what is essentially an overgrown 12 year old is not the same as flawed perception. I don’t feel like an adult at all. But that confirms it i guess, he doesn’t see me as one either. I dont think any of relatives do, in fact I think they see some piece of useless shit who has chosen not to grow up. Thats not who I am, im trying but when you come from a family that refuses or just will not help you when you need it in the name of teaching you some existential long term lifelong lesson then yeah you tend to do the easy stuff forever bc the hard stuff has to be done by yourself and no one else effectively increasing the difficulty. They don’t understand why I try to do everything myself but its because if I ask for help I wont get it. Ive tried multiple times over and the people around me refuse to. They claim they do not and that they have never done anything like that but I fucking remember. The other day my father stated that he never spanked or laid a hand on me as a kid. Thats bullshit because I remember being told I was going to be spanked with a belt and i remember being spanked with it. He swears he never did though. Everything I remember is written off as a lie and everything he says is supposedly right. I know its not but even just now I wondered for a split second if those memories were real. That scares me.

I want to attempt moving but it needs to be far and it needs to be permanent. It scares me though. I don’t have many friends and the few I do have live here. Im trying getting out but I haven’t been many places yet because i’ve been busy or i’m just a little to scared to drive there. I have to keep trying though. And Ill try online too because It might be easier there. Im scared and it’ll take time and a lot of money but I also don’t want to run from getting my degree. I can get my bachelors I know it. My associates is in reach just one more semester and my bachelors just 2 years after. Im so close but I don’t know if I can stand it. I have no privacy, no confidence, no ability to try and be on my own. Everything I do is heard or seen or intruded on by them. Its awful and I don’t want to live like this anymore. For too long I haven’t been able to be myself and to this day I still can’t. Small amounts have been able to shine through but not my full self. The small amounts have helped but i think after 22 years wanting to be who you really are is a pretty small ask.

i didnt want to start this blog this way. Its not interesting nor is it necessary but I needed a quiet place to clear my mind and no one knows about this account so it worked out just fine. I would tell some of my friends but I dont want to burden them and the one I would tell wouldn’t side with me. Her parents have done everything for her, her entire life and shes only had to deal with small things. Very few big things. She has support that Ive never had and so she sees the world much differently than me. She would say that well I should have called him first and that I should have double and triple checked where I parked to ensure that didnt happen. I think she would at least. But i’m new to driving and I didn’t know, plus her old apartment didn’t have dedicated visitor parking. I digress though as it doesn’t matter in the end I guess.

Im a disappointment I know I am. I have anime girls over everything I own practically and I sleep with body pillows. I know that my hours spent gaming are not productive but they make me happy and comfortable which is something that hasn’t happened in a while for me. They have always been my passion and hobby and interest. That will never change and I will continue enjoy them and dedicate time and money to them. For some however this makes me a failure of a human being and they begin to grow disappointed in me and what ive become. Too bad I guess. I do my best to love a healthy life and incorporate the things i love but some would rather see me ditch them to live the way they want. I dont want that though. Ive never been allowed to indulge in my hobbies or pursue my interests and now that I can i’m not stopping. I want to do so in peace and around people who I can enjoy them with.

There’s just no one like that here, so I want to run. I want to be as far away as possible and drop contact completely. They had years to try and be caring and understanding. To get to know their own kid to get to know their grandkid in a way that was meaningful and not just oh he likes some anime or something I dont know. Take the time to actually listen when I try to explain whats wrong or why Im mad or sad or just listen in general. But they don’t and i��ve tried too many times. I can be as calm and rational as can be or emotionally unstable but nothing makes it better. They just don’t listen and they don’t listen because they don’t care. They never have because if they did they would attempt they would try they would do their best to understand but they don’t. They tell me well that doesn’t make sense or well i don’t get it and then continue with so i don’t get why you feel that way. I dont either man! Emotions are fucking abstract and I cant always pinpoint why I am a certain way and I explain that im not sure but you demand an answer and I don’t give one because there isnt one and we fight. It sucks and im tired of it. So im gonna leave not now but sometime. Mark my words, i have been getting better and more confident in myself but there is still work that needs to be done and I will begin taking steps to do it. My life should have started years ago but I guess it starts now

Im sorry this is such an emotional and pretty personal post for this blogs first post but I needed a sanctuary and Ive returned to an old one I created. I think i need time to myself for the week. Ill be here and in my own discord server but I don’t want to interact with anyone for a while. If you read my melodramatic post in full thank you I really appreciate it. Its nice to be heard out even when you are just spouting all this information and not making it easy to follow along. Ill be posting art here and my thoughts about whats happening in life and my interests. Hopefully this blog becomes a sanctuary for others as well.

- :3 Josh/Lilith

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goodmorningstarkshine · 2 years

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comic con boy 💖💓💗💞💗💓💖

i missed him sm it was wonderful seeing him again even if it was just a hookup type thing

i did sadly realise however that my walls are up around him now THERE WAS SM I WANTED TO SAY and i said barely any of it

like sir i just wanna hold ur hand n get to know u i dont need anything else

i hope i didnt make him feel bad with how detached i mightve seemed

my flusteredness went in the opposite direction this time usually id be all gushy today i seemed dismissive bc i was scared to let him in again

anyways it was fun and im glad i did it and if i started missing him as soon as he drove away and my heart hurt because it was over thats fine i dont mind any of it as long as i get to have him in whatever way for however long he wants me

and if its just physical for him,,, well good thing im good at it then

yea i truly dont want anyone else because no one else comes close to making me feel the way he does

"i missed you" "sure you did" GIRL WHY???? just be honest next time damn

and then 10 mins later when i finally got up the courage to say it back it went "i missed you too" "sure you did" I- sir youre too adorable its not allowed

he said i looked good and i said "you look -" i couldnt say perfect now could i? and he finished it as "tired?" so i just agreed LIKE A COWARD

i just wanna take care of you like damn if youre tired come rest with me

im so down bad its downright embarrassing

i dont know if im messing things up by having my walls up or if its the right thing to do cause its just physical for him i truly do not know and maybe, if there's a next time, ill be brave and let the walls down because i dont like the playing it cool version of myself she's a bitch

you know how many times i had to stop myself from saying "i love the way your eyes sparkle when you smile"?!?!?!?

WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO STOP MYSELF i wanna say what i feel and be honest about it i don't like being guarded

also everytime he opened the door for me my heart went wild just seeing him made me go into overdrive and KISSING HIM 💖💗💓💞💓💗💖 when i tell you i felt at complete peace

#personal

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kuroken-lovechild · 4 years

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should I upload chapter 3 for bokuaka day akshdjdhdjdhdndjfj 😩

#i usually only update after im done with the next chapter #bc im scared of how long ill take to finish #but its 4/5 #andhdjdhdjdjdjf #bokuaka #bokuaka fic

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poppy-metal · 3 years

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Nah but your bully reader x izuku holy fuck its so good just thinking about how one day the reader just gets so fucking out of line that izuku drags her to his room and just goes to town putting her in her place. just absolutely railing her as the headboard smacks against the wall and saying such dirty things like "I'll teach you to stop being so mean to me "I'll show you how much of a man I can be" or my favorite "cmon scream my name let everyone know this lowlife dork is making you cream on his cock" awooga anyways finally as shes about to reach her climax he just stops completely only to look her dead in the eyes and say "tell me you love me cmon say it and ill keep going" but shes so stubborn that she just pouts with a red face panting heavily as she looks away unable to meet his gaze. however this only fuels izuku causing him to lift her chin up to meet his green eyes that seem to boar into her very soul shaking her to the core. he chuckles at her doey eyed expression before speaking once again "funny you spend all that time looking down on me and now you cant even look me in the eye" he begins teasing her by rubbing his angry red tip between her slick folds causing her to gasp as he slams back into her over and over again until her brain turns to mush and its not long before he claims his reward. all that can be heard over the slapping of skins and moans are "i love you izuku" and "please cum inside i need it" and who is izuku to deny this request ?

No bc this punched me in the actual gut :((

Its after awhile in your little secret relationship and izuku is frankly tired of being treated like he doesn’t matter to you when it’s so glaringly obvious you’re in love with him. He’s not your dirty secret, and he’s a soft, romantic boy. He wants to fucking hold your hand in the hall and buy you flowers and be able to kiss you whenever he wants, he love language is quality time and acts of service okay, he’s dying on the inside slowly because the only time you’re soft for him is on his cock, but it’s not enough.

So when a pretty, sweet girl smiles at him, and he know’s you’re watching he doesn’t try and bashfully reject her. He looks at you and makes sure you’re watching when he smiles and takes the slip of paper with her number on, slipping it in his back pocket. He expects the way your lip curls, the way your fists clench and the way you shove yourself out of your seat and stomp out of the common room. He’s already following you the second you’re out the door.

He catches you around the waist from behind, presses your back against his chest when you struggle and leans forward, lips at your ear. “Tell me why i shouldn’t go” he’s pleading, squeezing you tight. “Give me a reason”

You grit your teeth, actually feeling tears build because you’re so frustrated. With your feelings, with him, with all of it. “Fuck off. If you want some other bitch that’s on you. Hope she’s ready to be disappointed in bed”

He doesn’t even react to your jabs, his lips stay close to the back of your neck. “M’gonna have a big family one day, y’know?” he says softly. “I wanna be a dad,___. I want to be in love and have a woman who i can kiss and hold and share a life with. Who lets me make love to her”

The last part is whispered right against the shell of your ear. You squirm. “I want that woman to be you” he finishes, and you close your eyes, feeling the way your heart caves in your chest.

You don’t know why you can’t just be easy to love. Its what izuku deserves, and the picture he’s painted….it’s what you want. You want to be the reason izuku smiles and gets dimples, you want to be the person he reaches out to and loves so hard. But you’re scared of the overwhelming way that giving yourself over to your love for him would make you powerless. You’d never recover if he left you, never.

“I don’t wanna be your stupid housewife..” You mumble. Yes, you do. You feel his sigh against your hair, his breath moving it.

“You do.” Izuku turns you around to face him. He traces a thumb over your cheek. “I know you wanna be my girl, yeah? You don’t need to shout it from the rooftops or wear it like a badge but...i need to know you- i need to hear you say it”

You want to. You want to say it but - “im-” You look down, mumble, “im scared”

Izuku smiles down at you, his eyes softening as his thumb brushes over your lip, slides down your neck and then drops down to grab your hand. “I know you are. Won’t make you say it how i wanna hear it yet. We’ll take it slow, okay? But im gonna hear you say it. By the end of tonight” He grins. “Even if i have to drag it out of you with orgasms”

And later he does make you say it. Its not loud, or public, how he wants yet. But its a little give, to all your pushing. Even if he has to bully it out of you a little, has to drag the plush head of his dick through the soaked folds of your cunny and tease your little clit until you’re begging.

Its a little cruel, honestly. The way he makes you so vulnerable, gasping and weeping as he fucks you so, so slow, dragging his cock along your walls in a painfully tender glide, making you feel every inch, knowing you’re dying, gasping, needing it harder, deeper, faster. “Say it, baby” he groans against your mouth, working his hips in tiny barely there increments, barely feeding you his cock how you want it. Licking your upper lip as you cry and whimper. “Tell the little nerd you like to tease so much how much you love him, go on”

Your dig your nails into his freckled, flexing back as your eyes roll back, his pelvis grinding into your clit in sweet torture as you give in. “i-i love you, izuku. Please”

“Mm, i know” he says, and you’re to far gone to catch the smugness behind it. He rewards you by gripping you under your thighs and pulling your legs up, sliding into you in a heavy and deep thrust that has his balls clapping against the underside of your pussy as he fills it deep. “Love you too. So much. Gonna make you wanna be my girlfriend one day, and then my pretty little wife, and then” He grunts, grinding. “The mother of my children”

#ask #deku smut #bully!reader #izuku smut #midoriya izuku x reader #midoriya izuku smut #izuku midoriya smut

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