#bc it didnt go away. she just learned how to deal with it

[h-doodles]

boy the sudden outpour of angst ideas for larissa weems x reader in my brain got me weeping so bad i feel a fever coming on

#ALL YALL POSTING ABT FALLING OUT OF LOVE BUT MY BRAIN GOING 700 MILES FASTER AND 3000 YEARS FURTHER WITH A #the love was still there. it didnt change anything. #ABT READER LEARNING SHE'S DYIG SOON. BUT KNOWS LARISSA IS SWAMPED WITH NEVERMORE & DEALING WITH THE KIDS. AND SHE ALSO LOVES #HER NEVERMORE FAMILY SO MUCH. SHE CANNOT BEAR TO MAKE THEM SAD #AND BC LARISSA IS SO BUSY. SHE HASNT REALLY LOOKED @ HER WIFE. AND TO READER ITS JUST OKAY. AND CREATES A MINI VIDEO JOURNEY #AND LIKE. ITS JUST ALL THE LITTLE THINGS SHE LOVED TO DO WITH LARISSA. AND THE KIDS. AND OF LIFE U KNOW. #and its wonderful and sad and beautiful #but she's dying and she doesn't want anyone else to know; her family had gone the same way too and thats how she wants it to end #and its just. augh. not my brain adding more angst rn #where her one & only friend notices #and is the one bringing her to all her doctor's appointments (outside jericho ofc. she knows her wife would know the instant had she been #diagnosed there) and like. Larissa getting more and more suspicious of their outings and accuses r of infidelity #.......and at this point r is just. done. and lies. #and gets out of Larissa's life. and everyone's just. shocked & devastated #R leaves but also begs her friend to go away. because she's just counting her days at this point. and you know what #the kicker here is that they agree knowing this was the last act of kindness they could give her. #AND LARISSA STILL DOESNT KNOW. #and wouldnt have known until Wednesday had a vision of a phonecall that'll shatter her #........shit. im crying again haha #anyways i love cinematic orchestra's i built a home <3 it really gives me such the best angst storylines #personal.txt #clown.txt #mod lee speaks stuff #idea.txt #larissa weems #larissa x reader #larissa weems x reader #lee writes #lee writes stuff #my fic

[wheresmymilliondollarman]

THE AARON WARNER X READER FIC OMLLLLLLLL I NEED PT. 2 PLEASEEE

aaron warner x ferrars!reader pt. 2

aaron warner continues to make way into your life, and it's only a matter of time before you grow fond of him too.

(taken place during unravel me)

continuation of the hcs from this piece!

a/n: hey y'all.... the long awaited pt 2 is finally here. so sorry for the wait, but i had some major writer's block with this at first, and tbh life has been a lil hectic rn with classes n stuff, so thank you for all the love and support on the first headcannons, and thank you for being patient with me! i truly cant express enough how happy i get when you guys compliment my work <3 as usual, hayden is my personal fc, imagine who you like !

side note: i know reader might seem kind of useless at times even tho she has powers, but it's because she doesn't have a full control of her ability yet, still learning how far it goes, and she doesn't have much practice on defensive uses of it, since a lot of her training is about learning about her powers. hope that makes sense LOL. some big events are going to be briefed over bc i didnt wanna bore y’all with stuff you alr read in the book and wanna focus on warner & reader interactions👍

word count: 8.2k

warnings: some plot changes, vague taylor swift reference, mentions of injuries and blood, some violence

after receiving the note, you immediately crumped it and stuffed it into a random drawer with your clothing. you hadn't told a soul about the message, you feared it would only make the implication of meeting warner again true.

thinking about the note was a pipeline to thinking about aaron warner. thinking about him meant flashing back to the last moment the two of you shared.

his lips on yours, his confessions of his infatuation, and of course, the way your shot him in the chest. you hated how the memory was brung a warm and unfamiliar feeling in your chest, especially thinking back to the kiss.

you told yourself it wasn't a big deal. maybe another member at the base decided to play a prank on you, or perhaps it was just an empty threat. there was no way warner knew your location, so there's no need to tell anyone about the silly note.

but to be extra cautious, you laid off going on missions to the outside for a little bit. plus, it forced juliette to interact with people that weren't you on missions when you weren't there.

you went along with your routine as usual, training with castle and kenji, and hanging out with juliette and adam.

you didn't hate castle by any means, but you find his underlying scrutinization of both you and your sister at times to be bothersome. his constant pushy treatment to juliette never sat right with you either, but since he was the leader of omega point - you knew you had to still show respect for him.

although, you started to notice a strain between the couple recently, mostly from adam's side. there was obviously something he was keeping from juliette.

you comforted your sister to the best of your ability, but you knew not knowing was starting to affect her. kenji also seemed to know whatever this secret was, but was adamant on keeping his lips shut.

however, once castle took adam away in the middle of you guys eating lunch, juliette demanded answers since it was obvious adam himself was struggling to reveal it himself.

this time kenji was helpful and guided you and juliette to the research labs. there you both saw castle engaging adam in some sort of tests, and it sent your sister into a fit of rage, mainly aimed at castle. which then resulted in her angrily punch the ground, causing for a large earthquake that shook the entire establishment.

juliette was passed out for three days before waking up. you worried for her endlessly during those days, it was the one of the only times you intentionally listened for her thoughts, to ensure she was alright, but it was scarily silent. you knew adam also was quite worried for juliette, but castle made sure he kept his distance.

after that, her and adam were on some sort of unofficial break up, and you knew better than to get involved. juliette was also now required to join you and kenji in training, which made for a chaotic, but fun trio.

your powers were getting easier to control, you were working on levitating heavier objects every time. you've practiced mental manipulation on insects and small animals, so you had a gist of to what extent you could control a mind. the most you've done so far was send simple commands like jump, sit, move, etc. kenji always offered to be a test subject for this, but you always declined, not liking the thought of possibly controlling the mind of your friend.

now that you could control when to apprehend thoughts, it made it much easier to make friends without disrespecting people's privacy. while sara and sonya were always kind to you, others had made it sort of clear they wanted to keep their distance to prevent their mind from being read by you. being able to now reassure others that their thoughts weren't being heard made it easier for people to approach you.

much like juliette you found new friends in brendan, with an electric ability, and winston, who had a stretchy ability and also designed the suits for both ferrars.

days at omega point were serene for a bit, everyone following routine and members continuing to patrol areas for any threats of the reestablishment. but it was surely disrupted with the arrival of threatening news.

it was in the middle of the night when you were dragged away from your bed by kenji to castle's office; juliette and adam following suite. he claimed it was an urgent matter that required the presence of the four of you.

there, castle revealed the return of the supreme commander, also known as warner's father - that was big news to you and juliette. it explains how warner was able to be out with his men in the sector so often.

however, news worsened when you found out brendan and winston along with emory and ian were taken by the reestablishment during their patrol. at their missing location was left a note, with specific instructions on how to proceed.

you were shaken by this discovery, it had been only less than 24 hours since you had last spoken with either of them, both you and juliette had had breakfast with brendan and winston.

that wasn't even the end of if, castle instructed that all four of you were to go to this meeting destination.

all of you were taken aback by this, you had initially assumed castle would be the one to see the supreme, since has is the leader and all.

adam and kenji were at the head of the protest against this plan, not wanting to easily comply . both you and juliette remained silent, still taking in all the information given.

you without a doubt were ready to head in for the safety of your friends, but you also didn't like the unpredictability of the situation you all could possibly wander into with the commander.

"the two of you may opt out as you like, but i am requesting the aid of both ferrars, seeing as they are the ones very explicitly instructed to see the supreme - a sort of exchange, them for the hostages. "

again, everyone in the room was stunned with confusion. all having the same question, why would he need both sisters there?

you didn't know the room could've possibly erupted into more chaos than right now. adam was now furious, kenji not too far behind with questions of his own.

you couldn't help but think back to the note you found in your pocket, "see you soon." is this what he had meant? had he known this would occur that long ago?

again, you shook the thought from your mind. aaron warner wasn't the one who sent the order, it was the supreme, so it's possible warner will not even be at the location the four of you are suppose to go to.

no need to think about warner, you told yourself. no need to remember how he kissed you with ferocious passionate intent.

with this newfound knowledge, you knew you couldn't back away from this, not when there were lives at stake, and you didn't have to be familiar with the supreme to know he would not hesitate to take the lives of omega point members.

you looked toward juliette to inquire her thoughts about the situation. you understood from the look on her face that she had a similar plan of action to you. a telepathic (without actually reading her mind this time) message was communicated between both of you, making a mutual agreement.

"we'll do it." you announced over the arguing.

castle was pleased with this decision, but immediately adam objected, and even kenji was hesitant for you both to go through with the plan. however, stubborn as ever, both of you committed to your decision.

preparing for the meeting with warner's father was nerve-racking, worried for the safety of your team, and also the hostages. you and everyone knew this had to be some sort of trap set up by the commander, but there wasn't much you could do besides arm yourself and comply.

the four of you were gathered in castle's office. castle made sure all four of you were equipped with necessary gear for the mission, including having weapons with you.

you attire was the same as usual, a red leather corset-styled top, a matching leather coat-like jacket, black pants in a stretchy material, accompanied with black fingerless gloves and black knee-high boots - except now you had the addition of a harness and holsters up your leg to hold any firearms given to you. the coat did well in concealing a lot of the guns.

luckily, you had a good amount of practice with a gun since the warner incident. you were no james bond, as a man kenji liked to reference, but you had enough skill to defend yourself and others in the face of danger.

"why does warner's father need both sisters?" kenji humorously asked castle, "can't we at least keep one of them, one for the reestablishment and one for omega point."

you scoffed with a grin, entertaining the joke. "i'm sorry, who exactly are you willing to sacrifice to the reestablishment kenji?"

"well, with that attitude i'm starting to lean towards you."

castle goes through the plan once more before having to leave with the rest of omega point. they had to be stationed around building near the meeting point before the four of you arrived.

the time finally arrived for all of you to begin the journey to meeting the commander. since you all were traveling on foot, adam and kenji leading the way, you needed to leave at least an hour before the designated time.

adam was able to successfully turn off his protective shield for kenji to make all of you invisible. it made the journey easier; being able to wander through the land unseen.

after kenji misguided you to the wrong house, you all rushed to get to the correct address, 1542 sycamore. with 50 seconds of time, you all arrived.

juliette made the quick decision to tell kenji and adam to stay hidden, that it was better if warner's dad thought we were alone. in the case of an emergency, they could jump in.

kenji and adam gave a few last words of reassurance, before turning back invisible. then, you and juliette stood in front of the door of meeting house, holding hands before entering the house.

warner's dad did the job of opening the door for you both, inviting you inside even though it was more a of demand, and commenting on your impeccable timing.

once inside, you got a good look at the man. you shouldn't be shocked he was also quite handsome since he is warner's father, but you were still thrown back by his unexpected attractiveness.

unfortunately, you didn't take him his appearance for long before he abruptly & forcefully pushed juliette head against the wall behind her, momentarily knocking her out.

you didn't even get to process the action before you were pushed roughly against the wall, the commanders right forearm holding you down by the throat, while his left hand was disarming you.

almost as if acted on instinct, you pushed him back with a scarlet force, sending him back first onto a nearby table.

you took a second to get react, unsure of what happened, before rushing over to your sister. juliette didn't seem to be bleeding, luckily, but you figured she might have a concussion. much to your surprise, she sat up straighter attempting to act unfazed.

you were roughly yanked away by your wrist and away from juliette. you attempted a second self-defense act, but the commander was first and pulled out his gun, pointing it to your sister.

"try anything else, and i'll shoot her before you could blink."

your silence was a sign of defeat. you stood still as he unarmed you, even taking off your coat for good measure.

he released you finally then went on to do the same to juliette, who was still recovering from the slight blackout she faced from the collision with the wall - he repeated the threat to her, gun pointing in your direction this time.

you swore if you made it out of here alive you were going to learn more defensive uses of your powers to never be in a position like this again.

juliette must've been refocused on the task at hand because she starting asking the commander for the location of the hostages.

you stomach dropped when he disclosed his army is equipped and ready to take down any omega point members who are lingering by.

he went on to elaborate his plan to eliminate the "freaks" that made up the rebellion. but what got your heart beating faster was the mention of warner.

he directs his talk to you, "i admit, your sister, juliette, had piqued my interest quite a bit with her ability and history, i'd never paid much more than a glance in your direction. but what really astounded me, was when my son begged me to spare your life." he smiles, in a terrifying manor, "i just had to meet this girl whose bewitched him and spelled him into such a lovesick fool."

you felt physically stuck to your place as you listened. you didn't have to look at juliette to know she was also frozen.

'did aaron really do that?'

he turns in your direction, "i have every intention to use you to teach my son a lesson, and that will just have to include your death much to your misfortune. i really do hate to waste a pretty face." you face pales at the mention of your death.

then he faces your sister, who had taken a sudden step in front of you, "but that doesn't mean the older ferrars has to suffer the same fate and couldn't prove to be useful to join me in the capitol."

"i'd rather jump off a very steep cliff, thanks."

you wanted to laugh at your sister's retort, but you couldn't help but worry that he'd kill her for her denial. you'd rather be the sole target of his persecution than drag your sister down into it as well.

you reminded yourself adam and kenji were still around, they would surely arrive in time before either of you could be dead. you hoped.

the commander, however, does laugh at your sister's rejection, "a stubborn one you are."

"son, would you come in here, please?"

your eyes widen, warner was here this whole time.

you and juliette glanced at the same time, both being shocked at his presence.

when he appears in the doorway, all the memories of the event in his room come back to haunt you.

his face was void of any emotion, but his stare directed intensely toward you.

there was no time for small talk, because warner's father handed him a gun, meant to kill you. he places it in aaron's hand and aiming it to your head, dishing out the command to 'clean up his mess.'

you wouldn't be surprised if he had intentions to shoot you, you quite literally had shot him the last time you'd seen each other.

juliette let out yells of protests, telling warner to put the gun down.

you were preparing ways to defend yourself, mainly involving levitating an object and throwing it at either person with murderous intent toward you. but you weren't sure how you could hide the movement of your hand, and red glow of your eyes, when the attention was all on you.

but you couldn't help solely stare back into aaron's emerald green eyes. you wondered if this would be your last sight before death.

no, you refused to succumb to death like this, you wouldn't give anderson the pleasure.

you stared back into the green eyes, daring him to take a shot. this could be really courageous or terribly stupid.

then in the next instant, the gun had a new target, his father.

his father didn't look too fazed, confident that his son wouldn't shoot him, even patronizing him for it.

you didn't wait to find out if he would go through with it because now that the attention shifted, you could execute your plan of action.

the supreme and warner were both knocked down by the large heavy table being thrown at them. granted, aaron wasn't your target, but it didn't hurt to knock him down in case he intended to shoot you.

juliette took the opportunity to get the firearms the commander has taken at the beginning, and use the gun to shoot him in the leg. both legs. multiple times.

you were about to reel her back, when kenji appeared out of thin air, literally, and held juliette back from further injuring anderson.

suddenly, you remembered warner was still in the room. you looked around to find him passed out on the ground, a syringe, you guessed kenji used, next to him.

kenji tossed you as roped and told you to bound his arms, so, you knelt down on the floor next to him, carefully shifting him to place the rope.

as you did this, you noticed his features closely, how different he seemed unconscious, at peace. it kind of made him more beautiful.

out of your better judgement, you reached out slowly to touch a lock of his blonde hair, soft.

you immediately pulled your hand away when you thought you felt a stir, but you looked back to his face and he was still unconscious.

maybe, if you had looked a little closer you'd notice the ghost of a small smirk on his lips.

"we're going to take this kid hostage."

you were brought to your current situation with that statement.

"wait, what!" kidnapping wasn't on your to-do list for the day.

however, the most shocking news to be said in this room, was when adam dropped the bomb that the supreme command, warner's father, was his dad - making warner his half brother.

in the midst of all this chaos, omega point had already set off the call to attack, and now were battling against the reestablishment.

there was no time to think about events because kenji was rushing everyone out the door to get back to the safe haven.

the four of you needed to a large distraction so castle could draw back before major disaster since anderson was down and you now had taken warner. juliette promptly stepped up with an idea and create a part two of her earth-shattering ability. - which it turned out working really well because you all were able to make contact with castle.

adam and kenji did the heavy lifting of carrying aaron's heavy body while you and juliette had the task of finding a tank for the four of you to head to omega point in.

once that was settled all of you clambered into the tank, kenji taking the wheel and adam acting as second in command - that left you and juliette in the back with warner.

who was currently to the left of you, slumped against the window side of his seat, and juliette being on your right.

you weren't thrilled to have him smushed next to you. not when you were close enough to smell his cologne and feel the outline of his muscles through his jacket.

a part of you thought he would maybe wake up somewhere during the ride, but his eyes remained close. you know because you were staring at him more than you'd like to admit.

you reminded yourself what he had put you and juliette through, the asylum, the imprisonment, and the tests. it was enough to reel you back in and continue your dislike for warner.

although he was asleep, the bumps on the travel to the underground base made for a lot of jolts of movement and in turn caused warner's body to tumble onto you.

his body was heavy, but somehow it was heavier whenever you had to push him back to his side. it was like a force was trying to keep him on there.

his head somehow always slumped into the hair on the crook of your neck, and at some point, you could've sworn you felt him breathe in through his nose, like a sniff. but you wrote it off as the movement of the vehicle.

you must've passed out at a point because when you opened your eyes, you were lying against warner's shoulder.

your face was a flush of scarlet when you realized your position, but luckily juliette was fast asleep, and the two men were occupied in the front, likely going over today's events. thank god.

not long after, you all arrived at the destination and made it out of the tank.

kenji helped pull you out of the tank, not before leaving a teasing comment.

“have a nice nap, did you?”

you ignored him, but your face went red in embarrassment. he would never let you live this down.

you took a rest for a whole day before interacting with anyone. you weren't sure if you could handle any other sudden revelation without rest, especially if it involved warner.

castle came to you and juliette to discuss further the plan with warner and such. and you were reminded of the fact adam and him were technically brothers, which was kept a secret between all four of you still.

then castle gave you both the most ridiculous task; to be in charge of the questioning and occasionally visiting the prisoner. his reasoning being you both were the most acquainted with warner, and he'd be more willing to comply with at least one of you.

you wanted to decline; you didn't understand why castle always sent everyone else to do work for him - but you knew your sister was happy to finally have a real assignment for omega point; she wanted to be useful.

so the following day, you began your "mission." you sisters went to where they were holding warner, a room much like where you and juliette slept, but the difference was it closely guarded, not letting the person inside leave.

you greeted the guards, and they had looked very relieved to see you there. apparently, warner has been less than pleasant as an inmate - throwing things and demanding to speak with you, and they informed him the two of you would be arriving to calm him down.

you stepped into the room and noticed the lack of furniture, probably because he was throwing, then you saw warner sitting on a mattress on the floor, indulging himself in some sort of journal that you didn't get to get a look at before he put it away.

he looks up at your arrival with a grin, "hello amor, a pleasure to see you again at last." he scanned your attire, "i have to say, this new look on you has you looking rather ravishing."

you rolled your eyes, fighting the butterflies because of his comment. "how you manage to be a prisoner and still keep that stupid charm goes beyond me."

"i did say i'd see you soon didn't i?"

juliette gave you a confused glance, you hadn't told her about the note, nor the kiss.

you ignored what he said, trying redirect the conversation. you glanced down at his chest, "nice to see you've healed from the shot, for a moment, i thought i'd killed you."

"takes a lot more to kill me i'm afraid, however, if it's by your hand i'm more than willing to greet death like an old friend."

before you could bite back, juliette interrupted your banter with a cough, meant to serve a reminder to you to stay on task.

"right, forgot you were here juliette, perhaps you'd like to step out so your sister and could properly reunite."

god, you hated his suaveness. you hated it even more when it worked in making your heartbeat pick up.

juliette took charge of the conversation and started asking questions relevant to the establishment, but warner would either change the subject or give vague answers.

you both decided to leave after growing tired of the lack of information. you ignored warner's pleas for the company and walked out.

the next day you both tried again, meeting in from of his room. juliette, however had decided a change of tactics.

"i think you should go in without me."

you turned to her confused. she explained he would likely be more cooperative with your presence alone, his actions from yesterday proving to be in support of that.

you denied it, even if part of you believed it. you weren't sure you were ready to be in a room alone with aaron.

nonetheless, juliette left you to your own devices and rushed off, probably to find adam or kenji, before you could protest further.

you cursed her, but prepared to enter the room in front of you.

aaron was lying down, resting an arm behind his head and using the other to throw and object up and down. once he noticed you he sat up in your direction.

he noticed the lack of presence of juliette, and you could tell he was more than pleased.

"finally, i was starting to think your sister would chaperone us forever."

"don't be so eager to be alone, i could shoot you again."

"and i'd willingly take another bullet if it meant another kiss."

you couldn't help the annoying pink tint on your face that came up with the mention of the kiss.

you changed topic, "how were you able to send me that note?"

he smirked, "well for one, i noticed you after our eyes met briefly during your first time outside in the sector. after that, it was blatantly obvious who you were; that disguise did nothing to hide your gorgeous face, unfortunately for you. and then it wasn't hard to order a civilian to drop the note in your pocket while you were distracted."

you were stunned; you really hadn't thought to think he recognized you. you thought you blended in pretty well on those missions.

"okay, stop distracting me, what are your father's plans."

"hmm, maybe if you ask nicely and give me a kiss - i'd be more willing to comply."

you left shortly after that, knowing you weren't going to get much out from him.

it continued like that for a few days; you'd walk in, try to get information, but then he'd turn it back into a way to flirt with you or bring up the kiss.

this time when you walked in, you saw him reading the journal from the first day, and you were able get a better look at it. it was yours.

"hey, what are you doing with my-"

"dear diary, today i checked out a book from the library, there was a rather intimate scene between the main charact-"

you immediately recognized the writing as your own and strided across the room to aaron to snatch your journal back.

warner was quicker, standing up in a snap, keeping a distance from you as read aloud more pages.

you yelled at him to stop, catching up to him, but now he held the book to the ceiling, making it harder for you to reach because of his tall body.

you, much to your embarrassment, jumped up and down to reach the journal, wanting this humiliation to end.

"aaron, just give it back!"

all of a sudden, aaron stopped his teasing and looked down to you, a lopsided smile on his face.

"you called me aaron."

you eyes opened in horror, you just called him aaron, not warner. and he heard it.

"no. no. i said warner, you misheard." it was a terrible attempt at lying.

he smiles even wider, his dimples prominent. he reaches a free hands to lift your chin.

"please, keep saying my name, i do love how it sounds coming from you."

you felt you were gonna explode from all the emotions you were feeling, the room was getting hotter, and your heart was pounding in your ears.

you couldn't get a solid sentence our without babbling in embarrassment. so you took the coward's way - bolting out the room, abandoning the mission to retrieve your journal.

you avoided visits a few times after that incident, you were still cringing at the flashbacks, it worsened when you also remembered he had the contents of your journal and all the embarrassing things and darkest secrets you'd written inside.

unfortunately, that didn't stop you from running into warner.

you were eating lunch with kenji, he was currently explaining some princess film you'd never seen.

"wait, so how did this girl even find out when her birthday was?"

"well, obviously, mother gothel told her."

"why didn't she just lie about her birthday, or not even tell her what a birthday is?"

"i don't know, i didn't make the script."

"also does the ending mean she has power still, or was it the last of her ma-"

"oh my god, can you shut up and just appreciate the greatness that is tangled!"

"hey! you're the on-"

"well, isn't this a surprise."

you turned to the new voice that entered the conversation. aaron warner stood in front of your table, hands behind his back, and castle behind him, likely guiding him somewhere.

then you remembered your last conversation with the leader and came to the conclusion aaron was on his way to be tested, probably like adam had.

castle remained unaware of the blood shared between the two, but you did let it slip you were unable to read your mind, and he was able to make skin contact with your sister.

"well if it isn't my favorite ex-boss." kenji spoke with a mouthful of food.

aaron ignored kenji, much to kenji's offense. "amor, here have you been these days, you left quite flushed after our intimate moment in my cell."

kenji spat out his food at that last bit.

you body was filled to the brim with utter embarrassment and hate toward the way he phrased his wording to make it seem what it wasn't.

you turned to kenji who was coughing continuously, "nothing even happened!" you gave warner a glare, "stop making it seem so.. so-"

"so what, amor? i'd love to know what you think i meant by intimate."

"you are so insufferable."

castle then dragged warner along to the testing area. you couldn't deny you weren't curious to find out if he shared a gift similar to adam.

you were planning to engage with warner the next day, but his guards had come up to you during your training session demanding your presence because apparently warner was in a fit of rage.

worried, you rushed over. entering the room, warner was sitting against the wall, face in his hands. the room was in disarray, broken items of what was already so little, scattered all over the room. even his floor mattress had been tossed.

he barely acknowledged you, so you took it upon yourself to kneel down in from of him, silently asking what happened.

"castle..he told me it's possible i have an... ability. he told me i could change," he laughs humorlessly, "that there was potential for me to be.. different... possibly better."

you stayed silent, unsure of how to respond, as he bitterly ranted about his talk with castle.

"what do you think?”

“what?”

“do you believe i can change? i’d love to know what your opinion is on this, amor.”

you weren’t sure how to respond. “i believe… everyone can choose what they want to be. it’s up to them to decide, even if everyone tell tried to tell you who you are.”

this time, he was the one silent, looking down at his lap, likely in thought.

you took the chance to take in his attire; some black sweatpants, grey socks, and no shirt.

you probably would’ve been flustered to see him shirtless if you didn’t notice some peculiar marks peaking from his shoulder.

silently, you slowly crept to the side of aaron, still distracted. you slide far enough to get a good few of his back.

you internally gasped. his back was littered with lines of scarring - likely whipped. your stomach churned at the thought.

you also notice a big tattoo in the upper middle of his back, in all caps ‘IGNITE’.

you must’ve said it out loud because aaron’s head whipped in your direction. he turned his back away from you once he noticed where your stare was directed.

“no need to say anything, i already know how hideous it looks.”

unsure how to respond, you blurt the first thing out of your head - “i think they look cool. kind of like an abstract piece of art.”

yeah, comforting people wasn’t your forte.

luckily, aaron seemed intrigued by your statement. so you took the chance to request something further.

“can i touch your, erm, back?”

aaron was hesitant for a few moments, but then sighed and turns his back toward you.

you delicately pressed your fingers along the canvas of his back. you could feel every ridge and texture of each scar as your fingers glided over.

aaron flinched at first content, then progressively & visibly melted into your touch.

“why ‘ignite’?”

“why not?” you really hated his vagueness.

an idea popped into your head. you pulled a pen out of your jacket pocket, testing it on your own skin a few times before you started drawing lines on aaron’s skin.

“amor, what are you doing?”

“hang on.” he could feel the ink of the pen etched on his back.

“you know, my original plan was to seduce you with my perfect abs, but i guess luring you with my scars works as well.”

“shut up.” but you were smiling while saying it.

you finished connecting a few lines, “there, perfect.”

"i think you've forgotten i dont have the neck of a giraffe to twist around."

"oh, my bad." you said sheepishly. "do you have a mirror?"

"i did, then i broke it. pieces should be in a corner somewhere."

you mentally scolded his carelessness.

you managed to find a piece big enough for him to see your creation upon his skin.

"i drew a star." you wanted to facepalm at how silly it sounded.

star was a bit of a stretch, you connected lines scarred on his bank to form a lopsided and wonky-shaped star.

he just stared at it, not uttering a word. you moved to try to wipe off the mark, but he grabbed your wrist before you could.

"no," he grins, "i adore it. do more of them."

you did. it was a whole galaxy of stars embedded on him.

he stayed mute as he watched you through the shard of mirror while you doodled, but suddenly he spoke and gave you details as to what his knew of his father's plans and the location of brendon & winston.

"why are you suddenly telling me this, why now?"

"it's what your here for, isn't it."

you rushed over to castle immediately and repeated everything aaron told you. he thanked you for the information before he called in others to draw up a plot of attack. you all were to leave immediately the next day.

castle called a meeting in the lunch hall a few hours later; everyone at omega point was gathered there.

he briefed them on the commander's plans or what the plan was supposed to be so far. of course, people were suspicious of this information coming from warner, not trusting him at all; not that you could blame them.

"he's immune to both of the ferrars abilities, he can touch juliette with no issue and y/n can't get into his head. after this reveal, we did some test, and we've come to find out he's gifted like the rest of us."

the room exploded in chaos, gasps, yells, and protests coming from all different directions. a lot of ongoing looks toward your table. castle raised his voice to calm everyone down.

you and juliette didn't stick around long after, for one you already knew the information being given , and two, the stares and questions were getting annoying and uncomfortable.

however, adam shortly followed the two of you out, desperate to speak to juliette, and you knew why - warner being able to touch her.

they began talking intensely as if you weren't there. you watched from the sidelines as juliette explained her side and adam getting more frustrated.

you butted in at a point, you felt bad for the guy, but your sister came first. “adam, maybe it's best you leave to cool down.”

but your voice of reason only irritated him. “how about you stop inserting yourself into your sister’s affairs and let her speak for herself.”

"what is your issue?"

"this is between juliette and i; she doesn't need you speaking for her."

"you hypocrite, that's what you're doing right now!"

"why don't you go fraternize with warner, that's all you seem to be doing these days." adam venomously spat at you.

as if the mention of his name made him appear, warner's presence made it known. he stepped in front of you, dividing you and adam who got closer as the argument headed.

"kent, you've really got an attribute for being infuriating and vexing."

that set off the fire for an intense standoff between the two. adam, already mad at aaron, started the verbal feud.

it got so heated, kenji inserted himself between the two - trying to stop the commotion. you even grabbed aaron's arm to pull him away.

it was all happening so quick; one moment, they were shooting insults back and forth, the next instant kenji was dropping to the floor clutching his head in pain.

juliette immediately called out for help, finding castle, who brought in sonya and sara to take kenji to the medic.

adam and juliette went trailing after them, but you stayed there stunned. what did you do?

you had a flashback to the experiment - kenji reacting, in the same manner, those soldiers had after you freaked out.

you felt extremely horrible for kenji and you prayed he would be alright.

but you hadn't intended to hurt kenji nor did you exert any force in using your powers. you had better practice with your energy, so it didn't make sense.

aaron, still beside you, reached out to you - but you instinctively took a step back. you weren't sure what was happening to you, and the last thing you wanted was to hurt someone else accidentally.

"probably better you stay back," you looked down at your hands in fright, "i don't have control right now, i'm don't even understand how i did that to kenji."

"because amor, you didn't injure him. i did."

your confusion only deepened with that. then he brought back the mention of his gift, and you put the puzzle pieces together as he spoke.

"so you can basically can absorb someone else's power and use it?"

"a little more complicated than that. i can sense people's energy, like right now i know you're confused and worried for your friend, but also scared of yourself for what you did, or thought you did."

he elaborated, saying he unintentionally manifested your energy when you touched him. when kenji grabbed his arm, in an attempt to pull him away, that was when he projected the energy on him and hurting him in the process.

"wait, so does that mean you have my ability to read minds too?"

"hmm, i haven't given it a chance," he smirks at you "would you like to be my test subject?"

"absolutely not."

later that night, you check with sara and sonya on kenji's condition. they informed you that he was alright, but just needed some rest. after, you met up with castle in his office, finalizing plans for the morning - the beginning of the battle.

before you said goodbye, you had a question that had been crossing your mind.

"why do you trust ar-, er, warner, what's to say he won't turn his back."

"well, i guess i can't say for sure that he won't. i just have to have faith in mr. warner that he will make the right decision for himself. and with your added presence, i'm sure he's more open to that than ever."

"what do you mean?"

"surely you realize he's in love with you. he's even told me himself."

"he..he told you he was in love with me?"

"yes, just after i was discussing his gift with him." he said it like it was the most casual thing.

you stayed to chat briefly after. you directly headed to aaron's room, no longer littered with guards since he was considered a "member." you were able to walk in with no issue.

aaron hadn't been asleep yet when you got there, he was sitting up on his bed, which had a frame now, reading a book.

you didn't give him a chance to react to your sudden intrusion before you started speaking.

"why would you tell castle you're in love with me"

he furrowed his brows, but you kept going - you were set on getting answers.

"how could you just.. say something like that, what is your motive? are you trying to get to me?"

"amor, calm down. i have no motive." he said, standing up and walking toward you.

"then why would you even say that."

"isn't it clear?" he gets nears, a hand going to cradle the underside of your face, "i meant what i said."

"you can't love someone you barely know."

"but that's just it. i do know you. i've read your mind on paper, and experienced you for myself the moment i met you. i know that you hate to be wrong, you want to clench your first when you lie, although juliette is older by a bit - you feel the need to protect her, you're afraid of the dark, but never admit it, you hate yourself for loving your powers, and you want so badly to be accepted here because of your lonely childhood. shall i go on?"

you were flabbergasted by his word, and you couldn't even deny that they weren't true.

"how do you know this?"

"because, as my dear father put it, it seem you've bewitched me, my mind, and my body."

then he kissed you. and you let him.

and you very much liked it.

it was a longing, messy, kiss - he had you against the wall, lifted by your hips to his height. you wrapped your arms around his neck kissing him deeper, not letting any thoughts or worries flow from you for the moment.

the doors opened. "y/n? are you her-" then a gasp.

you recognized the voice - juliette.

you immediately panicked and pushed aaron away, attempting an explanation yo your sister, but she was already turning her feet and running away.

you gave warner a glance before you ran off in her direction.

you caught up to her, "juliette, please, wait!"

she abruptly stopped her feet and turned to you, "what are you doing y/n? kissing warner, are everything he's done!"

"it's just... i didn't... it's not like-" you struggled to put it into words.

"so what, you- you like the guy who kidnapped us? the one who shot a guy in front of us. experimented - borderline tortured us? he made me hurt a child, y/n. a child! and now you're making out with him."

you were at a loss for words, tears starting to build up at her harsh words.

"you're an idiot if you think you could love him, and even stupider to think a cold heartless person like him could love you. and i won't have anything to do with you if you keep him in your life." and with that she waked off, leaving you in the hall.

you didn't go back to warner after your fight, nor did you go back to your room immediately. you shamefully found an empty closet to cry into for a while. once you were able to breathe normally, you went back to the shared room - luckily everyone was fast asleep.

by morning, everyone was preparing for the rescue of brendan and winston. you and juliette exchanged no words; you attempted - but was shut down every time. she had never been this mad at you. so you just suited up and went to find kenji. kenji sensed the tension between you sisters, but didn't push for information.

you came to found out from castle, aaron warner was gone - he escaped omega point. likely on his way to the reestablishment.

you didn't want to focus on why a part of you was hurt when you heard that.

the battle was not a scene for the light-hearted - anderson's men had already begun gathering civilians and spewing blood. if you didn't have a strong stomach, you'd already be spilling your guts.

midway through dodging bullets and soldiers, you felt a shift in the already dire environment. there was something wrong, and you sensed it.

you urged kenji you felt the need to return to omega point - there was something wrong. he wasn't too convinced by your vague intuition, so you sought off on your own, doing your best to avoid the battlefield.

you ran into juliette at some point, not caring for your argument at the moment, and told her your inkling. she also brushed you off, telling it wasn't a time for your dramatics.

even with no support, you went back - you couldn't ignore this feeling.

you were maybe 200 ft away from omega point when it happened. bombs were dropped on the territory - causing the destruction of the building and any remaining members who stayed behind.

the explosion was powerful - even from where you were standing, it sent you both painfully flying back. you blacked out before you could react to the tragic ending of omega point.

you regained consciousness after consecutive kicks to your ribs and a voice telling you to wake up.

in front of you stood a crippled anderson, standing with he support of a cain. his composure was calm, but you could see the hatred behind his eyes.

you painfully stood up, surveying the area. you were in a house - similar to the one from last time.

you felt weak, dizzy, and the world was a bit blurry. you were leaning on a mantle to support your standing.

"ah, the fatigue your feeling would be my own fault. had those lovely sisters inject you with something. it will incapacitate you enough that you won't be a threat. can't have you flipping tables again."

you were barely registering his words, but when he mentioned sisters it gave you a bit of a jump start. he had sara and sonya.

your words felt faint, but you demanded to know where they were. he assured you they were unharmed, but it did nothing to ease you.

midway your conversation, warner enters the room - shocked to see you there. you probably would've reacted if you weren't so dosed on drugs.

"now that we have this reunion out the way, i'm going to be generous, something you ought to appreciate. you can tell me where your sister is and where the rest of your band of freaks are. you can aid me in destroying them and only after will i grant you the mercy of joining the reestablishment."

"what do you want with juliette?"

"she did this to me," he gestured to his legs, "and now i want my compensation."

no matter the situation with your sister, you'd never give her up.

"go to hell."

he sighs, "a disappointment once again, miss ferrars." he turns to his son, "this is why it's important i teach you this very valuable lesson son."

warner goes rigid, "what do you mean?"

warner pull out his shotgun, "justice, should always be served - even if it has to be by your own means."

then you were shot right in the chest.

you blacked out, then started slipping in and out of consciousness. all you remember is blood spilling from you at a rapid pace, and aaron crouched in front of you.

you remember voices - aarons, sara, and sonya's talking in rushed voices - then it was only aaron.

"hey cmon, amor, stay with me."

"wow... getting in the chest really sucks. i feel really bad about shooting you now." you spoke deliriously.

"it's alright, i just need you to hold on a little longer." his voice strained, holding back anguish. 

but you didn't; you passed out, your last thoughts hoping juliette would throw you a nice funeral, enough though she was upset at you. 

#aaron warner x reader #aaron warner imagine #aaron warner fanfic #aaron warner #aaron warner anderson #shatter me #shatter me fanfic #unravel me #juliette ferrars #kenji kishimoto #adam kent #x female reader #x y/n #x reader #reader insert #reader imagine #headcannons

[mageofcolors]

sonic characters playing minecraft headcanons bc i cant sleep:

-tails is a huge redstoner. he builds giant farms for everyone on the server to use and also has a tendency to be responsible for most of the server's lag. in their umiverse tails is the one to invent wireless redstone

-tails also likes building house exteriors while amy builds the interiors. they work on a lot of projects together

-amy also runs a business making interiors because shes known to be the best at it on the server

-amy runs a shop selling mob loot because she loves killing things. she's also a master pvper and everyone fears her so you know no one would dare steal from her. she kills withers on the regular and makes bank off the nether stars

-she's also very skilled at using both the axe and the sword, but not as good at ranged weapons.

-sonic is an explorer and likes mods that allow for gear that makes him faster and increases his step height. mountain biomes are the bane of his existance in vanilla

-sonic used to live in tails' house but he would ruin his item sorter system all the time so he asked sonic to get his own storage. sonic now lives in a hole under tails' house

-sonic's a big potion user. he likes speed potions + water breathing / night vision potions for dealing with water stuff. he's soooo brave about it. he forced himself to take on a water temple because he couldnt stand the idea of there being an enemy he couldnt defeat. being underwater makes him sick tho

-knuckles is a miner and his house is a series of tunnels that blends into his mine. he also likes building things mainly with stone materials. he takes inspiration from irl angel island.

-rouge is a big flyer. shes possibly the best elytra user on the server

-rouge collects all the gems in the game and stacks them in shulker boxes in a vault nobody on the server has found yet. she does randomly flex by taking them out and showing them off. she'll go up to knuckles and just place a shulker box full of diamond blocks in front of him to taunt him, then quickly grab it and fly away.

-rouge doesn't mine so much as she'll trade or steal. she mainly steals from knuckles tho just to mess with him. knuckles always gets confused where his stuff has gone and still hasnt figured out rouge is the one taking it.

-rouge will also trade random missions for gems. these missions will often consist of helping with playing pranks on other members of the server.

-cream runs a flower and dye "shop" where she has super cheap prices, but half the time she will just give people flowers as gifts. everyone returns the favor with much more valuable items to make her happy but it technically doesn't count as selling/buying because cream never asks for anything in return. she does like receiving gifts tho

-big is always on the server, fishing. little do they know big is actually physically in the minecraft world. he doesnt know how he got there but he's vibin

-knuckles is very into minecraft lore. he likes exploring to learn more about the world and he likes finding old ruins. while sonic is also an explorer it's not too often they'll actually team up unless theyre specifically going to fight a difficult enemy. usually they prefer to go solo

-when time came to fight the ender dragon everyone showed up (except cream because she didn't think the dragon is evil and didnt want to kill it). shadow, sonic, and knuckles were all fighting for the final hit on the dragon. shadow got the hit but sonic stole the egg before anyone else could. he's hiding it in the hole under tails' house. rouge has her sights set on that thing and will figure out where it is any moment now. she just has to wait for tails to leave the house so she can search without being seen or heard

-shadow was the first on the server to get the achievement for collecting all the cats

-shadow is also a pretty good builder and he lives in a nice house with his cats. he has the most maxed out armor on the server

-tails has a solo world as well where he runs like 1000 mods that nobody else's computer could handle. i thought this was important to mention

-sonic likes to collect heads. both mob heads and player heads. he has 20 knuckles heads and 13 shadow ones but he could not get a tails one until tails donated one himself to the collection.

#sonic #sth #sonic the hedgehog #minecraft #donk post #donk text #this is what i got atm. im gonna try to sleep again

[kabukibun]

i cant believe im typing this i-

since its the tcg patch, heres this: scara teaching kabuki how to play tcg. Kabuki was honored bc usually scara only plays with wanderer (that brought the game to the house from the scholars in the academia) and anytime kabuki asked to join, scara would tell him to go away, that he doesnt know how to play and he will ruin the fun (even tho wanderer tells scara to zip it)

so when they start to play, scara will say the next few rounds will be for learning! He knows kabuki lacks alot of knowledge about humans, game logic included, so even after kabuki will catch the tcg rules, kinda, he could manipulate him.

Kabuki truly enjoys playing with his brother, even if he keeps losing, and he loves staring at the cards! Theyre so shiny and pretty! (Also wanderer made a custom mommy card in an extra art class he had, and since scara told kabuki he can have it, he should have KNOWN something is up. Red flag.)

Kabuki starts to learn, and scara explains the rules in a patient way that doesnt suit him at all. When kabuki wins, he let the pride get to his head (he made some wrong moves on purpose) and lets him relax. Then, he drops the next line:

"y'know, humans bet stuff when they play this game."

liar.

Kabuki doesnt understand gambling too well, but he believe his brother. He is quite concerned, and he tells scara he doesnt have any money. (Broke💀) scara tells him its fine, and betting isnt all about money. "For example," he says, "if i win, you stop running naked around the house, (He had enough, just like mommy) For, eh, week.." (he soften the deal)

"And if i win?"

"...you could share the milk time with me, and not have to wait for you and wanderers turn. For a week." (usually scara drinks alone)

Kabuki is excited. He plays, and he loses, and that puts a stop to mommys headaches... from him at least💀

He is ready to stop, he clearly lost, but scara keeps suggesting stuff he knows kabuki is interested in, and stuff kabuki can lose to him, before he says: "now.... if you lose, you give me 20% of your milk time with mommy." Kabuki is stunned! He tells scara thats not a good thing to bet on, because last time they somehow messed with their milk time, they got punished. But scara convince him with these words:

"If i lose, i give you mine."

Kabuki loses. And he loses again. And scara keeps making the milk time% higher and higher. And when his common sense finally sets and he wants to quit, he lost so much of his milk time and he wants to cry to mommy about it, (not snitch! Poor cutie kabuki just wants to cuddle with mommy and tell her he lost "fair and square" to scara.)

Then scara tells him - one more round. This time, he wont take his milk time, he just wants to keep kabuki from telling mommy. And if kabuki wins - he gets all his milk time back.

Of course, kabuki lost. And thats a good time to mention scara didnt explain ALL the rules to him.

Scara smirks, praising himself for this genius plan, while kabuki is sad and about to cry! Little did they both know, that when big bro wanderer came back home and saw scara and kabuki playing, he decided to spy on them and when the game was finished, he went to tell mommy.

Mommy is FURIOUS.

she already told them not to mess with the milk time, but the little stunt scara pulled truly crossed the line. While she is about to give scara the biggest punishment she can think of, AND taking his milk time, kabuki bursts into tears in the corner, begs for mercy from mommy, he truly believes hes as guilty as scara for gamblimg and falling for scaras tricks. Wanderer just rolls his eyes. Scara is now actually really really scared. Just an avarage day for them.

(Im so sorry its so long- i also never sent something to your blog before but i saw it for quite a while. Im sorry if theres any grammar errors english isnt my first language! And i hope you are okay with this stuff?)

such a cute scenario!!! 🫶

i can’t help but imagine scara having such a hard time holding back a smirk as he’s playing with kabuki.. his poker face gradually fading until he’s practically grinning at kabuki’s misery.

big bro wanderer being such a good spy for mommy, letting her know when her boys are up to no good! scara curses him for being a snitch while kabuki looks up to him for looking after them <3

wahhh kabukimono definitely would share at least half of the guilt with scara if he could. tcg match aside, if scara were to get in trouble, kabukimono would run up to mommy when she’s scolding him and tell her it’s his fault too! he should’ve told scara not to do it, or tried harder to stop him! kabuki’s puppy face has softened many punishments for scara…

(don’t worry it’s okay! i appreciate any length of asks sent to me :) thank you for seeing my blog for so long! no worries about your grammar, english isn’t my first language either!)

#—scaramouche #—mommy au

[metamorphiacreations]

hey lets talk about chapter 3 of cookie run odyssey

bc theres some things i need people to realize

spoilers. clearly.

1. The Custard Family Line

 as soon as Fuck Face McGee said that his brother served the vanilla king things immediately fell into place.

custard (adult) isnt custard iii’s father but his uncle. thus making custard iii and clotted cream adopted cousins, not brothers. i find it interesting that they took that turn, i was expecting custard to be c the 3′s dad and him having to deal with the fact that he doesnt know where is youngest is but this is cool too. 

also Custard running away not only from the ancients but also from the battle itself just bc he doesnt want to get consequence’d? fuck that shit and fuck him for being a bitchass coward. hope karmas hunting you down ya loser.

2. Captain Caviar is Quite Literally the Best

this is true bc he is. i liked him from the start and was very happy to not have been betrayed by him. not only was he the first to actively speak against hiding mille-feuille and canelè’s actions but he wasted no time calling out the blatant racism and classism going on in the republic. as a matter of fact as i was watching that scene something important dawned on me:

the ocean cookies were on that land first, yet only 2 out of 9 elders are ocean cookies.

now how in the world did that happen?! how did they get Christopher Columbus’d so hard that the native cookies have the smaller collective voice in the convocation?? not to mention that at the same time i realized that it also fully processed that most of the Lower City residents are sea based cookies. from seaweed cookie herself to the merchants having tentacle hair. hell id even go so far as to say that espresso cookie managed to get a leg up in opportunity partially due to the fact that he is not an ocean cookie despite coming from the Lower City.

but that part of captain caviar absolutely tearing into the other elders, (custard specifically) made me love him even more. he didnt back down for a moment and he spoke nothing but the truth and that needs to happen more in media. make minority characters in power use their power to call out the bs!

3. for the most part, Everyone Changed for The Better

and have something to look forward for. i dont wanna call it a happy ending but most of the important cast got development. 

financier cookie is gonna do some self-discovery type of stuff and honestly? good for her. she spent all of this story being the bodyguard. being a trained paladin who only does as order tells. but now i feel like shes allowing herself to essentially have a personality! shes asking what and why and thats great! what is the celestial light? why did it choose her to be a paladin? i hope we see her again and get to see her be less mechanical and more natural.

wildberry and crunchy chip also got development not so much individually but more so, they developed each other! (bee who you arreee) wildberry started out as the token stoic, quiet type bodyguard and crunchy chip is feral beyond belief but then they start hanging out, they start talking, they do a tourist thing and wildberry buys crunchy a pie, hell they even fight alongside each other with no hesitation, crunchy gets so worried when he saw wildberrys gauntlet with no body wearing it and later wildberry doesnt even think twice about carrying crunchy AND his wolf during the battle (for yourr priiideee) its clear that their time in the republic has made them both more social and trusting of each other. (it was also very fruity)

even madeleine got some development which surprised me.i dont madeleine cookie, i love the rest of his family tho. ive never liked the arrogant, self absorbed, head-too-far-up-his-own-ass type of characters but the fact that madeleine learned how to start seeing a different kind of right from wrong, different from what he was trained, and it ended with him wanting to see more the world so he can learn more? it felt like he had gained actual purpose and its fantastic, they made madeleine cookie learn to have a purpose and i wish him the best.

thats p much what i wanted to say bc i dont see too many other saying this

#metas stuff #cookie run kingdom #cookie run #financier cookie #creme republic #cookie run odyssey #wildberry cookie #crunchy chip cookie #espresso cookie #crk #crk odyssey

[luminusobscurum]

Homie, what is your oc lore?

ok lets do this.

cw abuse, self harm, drug use

A huge chunk of my lore comes from make-it-up-as-i-go-along then throwing away or glueing together what i do and dont like, since my husband really likes Ess her character has a bit more development. So I'll start with Lyssa.

Lyssa found "sanctuary" in cannibal town beforw hazbin hotel, she lived in hell since the 80s. She's socially anxious, has ptsd, and depression. She suffered from these disorders in life and being a woman in the 80s. She was taken as seriously as mentally ill women during that time would be. She wasn't mentally well enough to keep up with friends and her family wasnt very open minded. In her early 20s she loses her fight and commits suicide only to end up in hell because suicide is a sin- 😭

Lyssa is a girlfailure and a hopeless romantic. She's not emo, she just kinda looks like that. Realtively she's very kind and nurturing and often stays in places where that behavior isn't treated so hostile. (If not for Alastor and Rosie that bitch would be dead, like, hell would have ate her alive)

She had feelings for Alastor of course like everyone does, but he just patted her head and said the right fellow will surely come along. Rosie has helped Lyssa understand social cues and emotions, as Lyssa often found herself in a pattern of falling for anyone remotely kind to her and kept getting her poor lil heart broke.

Right now she resides in Hazbin Hotel, she adores Charlie and would adore Emily if they ever got the chance to meet. Lyssa's redemption is gonna be interesting because the cornerstone of her case is "She didnt fucking do anything wrong??"

--

Estelle (hes gender fluid) is hellborn, his prince, Felkivae has a domain of drugs, controlled substances, Felkivae is basically the CEO of big pharma, its where hospitals in hell get their medicene and good shit and yes Felkivae's workers do in fact distribute crack into the pride ring because they think its funny. This is Felkivae by the way.

Estelle lived with them, and ess is a very unruly chaotic bitch to deal with. He's antisocial and narcissistic, given a lot of it is trauma induced defense mechanisms from living with Felkivae being a crackhead. Felkivae got sick of seeing their consequences come out through one of estelle's tantrums one day and sold her soul contract to valentino for 62 cents. (felkivae has the coins framed on the wall in their room because they think its funny)

And just to clarify, theyre not related. Felkivae made Ess and many of their feline-based creature servants from like the ground and magic and shit. Estelle is about as much related to Felkivae as a cake you bake being related to to you. A cake you have full total control over and will mule drugs for you for v-bucks.

Felkivae revoked Estelle's goetia status. (If she'd kept it, then she'd have superceded the Vees in hell's heirarchy and all shed have to do is walk out of pride to avoid Val lol)

If Ess proves he can 'grow up (hes almost 30) and prove himself responsible enough' he can leave and get his title back which will void the contract. But by the time that happens the little idiot will have stockholmed himself with the vees. And adapted to his situation, she's learned to get back control of Her life she has to control valentinos.

which she does overtime by being a good kitty and kissing everyones ass a lot, (like how female hyenas move up in ranks) at the beginning ess and val's relationship was definitely 'oh ess you poor thing' but it quickly grows into 'wow! youre both awful people and deserve each other'

ess is also in no means is to get between voxval, in fact i think bullying my ocs is fun (lyssa is a sweetheart and itd be cruel but kicking ess down a flight if stairs is morally correct, its like hell's equivalent to returning a shopping cart)

i could see vox and val making her walk back home in the rain from a movie they went to go see but its okay bc when she got back hime she bit a chunk out of their faces like the florida bath salts guy

essie really loves the vees, (fucking hilarious to say that after my previous statement) shes flirted with velvette before (who i hc as a lesbian) but vel laughs and thinks shes weird bc ess is already fucking around with her gay dads so vel would simply verbally destroy her ego for being older than 25 then give ess an outift that doesnt make her look like such an unwashed tramp

theres also like a side plot where ess ends up having a kid from valentino (a blind moth girl named perdita) who ess hides from him and PLEADS with adam to take to heaven to get her away from val

how adam and ess have a relationship is DLC lore i might explain that one later if theres a care

realistically and truthfully valentino would have adored and loved his daughter (perdita) but given how he used to treat ess she was very much afraid of what hed do.

(imagine a little moth/kitten underneath adams robe and it goes MYEHH really loud and st peter goes 'what was that' and adam just says 'shut up')

that side arc with ess and adam is really nice though sorry to disrespect it by throwing up a poorly described synopsis

adam was the best awful dad who stepped up he handed perdita over to an elderly archangel named Nan (whose a lil out of it mentally but would protect perdita with her life) and she often hadoukens adam with holy light through a hole in the house because he does shit like let this baby drive him home in flying horse drawn chariot when hes too drunk too drive (perdita is 4)

one time for her birthday he bought her ribs and a 6 pack of beer saying shed be the coolest 4 year old and Nan dented him with a frying pan over it

anyway you came for lore of two characters i gave you 30 im sorry this is so long i have a permit but if you made it to the end youre beautiful and i want you to have these

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel oc #oc lore #id do character tags but theres a lot of namedrops #essie.ask

[bonesandthebees]

now for the strategy exercise

I think phil choose that exercise on purpose, believing it could show well the benefits of tommy being a blank slate (just as this phrase isnt getting out of wilburs head, youre not getting away from the unintentional lyric reference)

also the solution tommy gives is pretty simple, it kinda shows how niki and q both tried to go the way they are most familiar with, showing off a bit their capabilities, thinking about more tricky stuff like the psyche of the people, with niki especially

the exercise is about coming up with a super complicated strategy, its more about finding out what APPROACH they would take to this situation

and like I understand the problem with nikis solution but tbf to niki, she came up with a much better solution to the presented problem when you focus just at the result, unlike tommys plan hers was thought thru and didnt have that many loopholes, it just didnt fit phils expectations, like when this happens to me in an exam, im also arguing with the teacher that the fact that it wasnt their answer doesnt mean my answer isnt correct

now im bit saying I think thats the best way to rule a kingdom BUT niki is very rightfully angry about phil praising tommy

and honestly I just think good for niki yk, like yes, go get that power, whatever it takes

I love her standing up against phil but than being scared she messed up, there are so many layers to her it's amazing

you always treat your female characters right and rose!niki is prime example of that, she is everything I adore her so much and I support her rights and her wrongs

and when it comes to q, hes the one that confuses me bc he seems so easy to read and very certain about being chosen as the heir which is very dangerous in court and foolish and first look youd think hes just not good at hiding his opinions which could tie into him being a less likely heir

but like hes been at the court for quite some time and must know how much of a disadvantage being readable is so maybe hes playing is double layered, pretending to be easy to read while actually hiding the important stuff, I mean wilbur calls him really smart and witty

or theres a secret third option where its only wilbur whos able to read him so well and we wouldnt know bc its from wilburs pov but the way its described, compared to how wilbur reading niki is described this is unlikely id say

and the worst is that with the kind of character quackity is he could be either, like he turns out to be super smart and calculative ill be like thats so like him but if he turns out to be actually just that egoistic and easy to be ill be like yeah thats exactly like the train wreck of a man I know and love

I mean quackity knows his strengths and how to play on them, knows it wont be easy getting the throne and so he does stuff like partnering with schlatt, calling the meeting...

but with the strategy exercise it shows that hes putting everything on his strong suits and thats not always gonna be enough

oh yeah phil definitely chose the exercise for a reason. tbh it was a test for all three of them, less to learn their war strategy and more to learn how well they take guidance and criticism. definitely highlights the benefits of tommy being a blank slate.

and that ties into the issue with niki. while her plan had some issues, it was the most realistic of the three. the problem was her reaction to phil's criticism. she had a right to argue with phil regarding the success of her strategy, but that's not what phil wanted.

I'm glad you're enjoying rose!niki so far. like yes, she stood up to phil and was stubborn and angry and ruthless, but she was also scared. she was worried she messed up and regretted speaking out because she deals with so much pressure to always maintain a certain public persona and reputation, because her future is so reliant on it. I'm so happy I get to spend so much time focusing on niki in a long fic like this. rose!niki is so complicated and has so much going on with her, I'm really excited to continue diving into her character.

hmm won't go into detail to what's going on with q, but I'd say there's a mix of things going on from what you said. wilbur's pov definitely plays a role in how well we're able to read him, but also he is very aware of the games being played and knows how to adjust his behavior accordingly.

#ask #jiksvokrat #rose ch 5

[yuukei-yikes]

Do u think Haruka ever tells the twins he was able to see everything that Konoha did? Or if he ever does confront the dan about his fear that they resent him?

IM VERY CURIOUS TO KNOW WHO U THINK ARE TWINS. THERE ARE NO TWINS. hibiya and hiyori are friends!!! also ermmm well they know konoha was in the loop so if haruka were to mention he saw everything konoha did they'd put 2 and 2 together and the three of them would be like well damn. i think he'd tell them. hibiya and hiyori are important to haruka even if they don't know who he is entirely and haruka would feel like he owes it to konoha's memory to be there for them

hibihiyo fallout in my brain bc these bitches have separation anxiety and and and and Heh if they have a fight... cuz theyre also 12. and cope differently. and hiyori is a very complicated individual.

hiyori would go to haruka. they both kind of feel left out for entering the dan later than everyone and their closest friends in it have their own friends and/or are close to each other. for haruka, ayano has her siblings, and takane and shintaro have *gestures at all my codependent shintaka posts* that whole thing going on with each other and for hiyori, both hibiya and momo are her besties but theyre also super besties with each other and since hiyori is like. NOT opening up to anyone and hibiya has cried his eyes out to momo before, momo feels more urgency at comforting hibiya than hiyori. so hiyori in case of like a total meltdown where she needs to hide but she's in the city and can't think of where to hide she goes to haruka. she tells him not to ask questions and ignore her and she kinda just shuts herself in the room and haruka's outside of it like. erm. hiyori. im leaving u snacks on the other side of the door ok. also harutaka live together slay. takane kicked out of her own room and shes like Who is this sassy lost child and haruka's like Just let her be♥️ i also think takane is why haruka can handle hiyori bc he's used to dealing with the kind of person who doesn't wanna feel or be vulnerable in front of others lol. HIYORI AND HARUKA FRIENDSHIP REAL♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ hiyori after crying the whole afternoon in the room by herself awkwardly having dinner with haruka and takane LMAOOO

ALSO i dont think haruka would ever tell the dan abt feeling like they hate him and prefer konoha but as he slowly bonds with everyone it goes away. maybe he would tell takane but not the whole dan. it would take time but he does get to a point where he's like they are my buddies and im theirs :)))) seto and haruka besties for real i think outside of the quartet he is the one haruka is the closest to. THEY JUST♥️♥️♥️ IDK THEYD BE BEST BUDDIES!!!! kido teaching haruka how to cook and bonding thru it :) kido is very flattered someone is willing to learn from them and likes how calm and actually a good learner haruka is bc its really a pleasure like that. theyve taught their brothers but they didnt seem that interested and momo and mary are disasters. kido tries their best to seem like a good teacher to haruka and acts all cool abt it. mary's hesitant because..clearing eyes but she's rather like im so mad that disgusting snake made u make all those crazy expressions ur face isnt threatening at all♥️ haruka's like damn. RIGHT. THAT HAPPENED. they sit to have tea and cookies together all da time. haruka is a big victim of marys baking abominations bc shes like i made extra for u since u love eating!! and harukas like ohhh boy. kano *holds novel 5* kano and takane best friends so through connection haruka has to tolerate him but he's probably like eugghh at kano's teasing *holds novel 6 when kano disguised as ayano could even get haruka to feel annoyed*. momo and haruka besties. u need to see my vision because momo was in the art club. momo asking haruka for drawing sessions together SNIFF SNIFF SNIFF little art clubs...

hehe. anyway.

#ask tag #headcanons #hibiya amamiya #hiyori asahina #haruka kokonose

[phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing]

The Vill stuff is really interesting to me bc like, *I* did that as a kid; I had uncomfy intrusive thoughts and bottled them up and told myself that those thoughts were coming from my evil alter ego whose name was mine backwards. But unlike Vill, who actually sealed the thoughts away, I still continued to have intrusive thoughts. It just made me feel cool to think I was fighting my evil twin, because I was 11. I even wrote story where a self insert protagonist was split into two sides, had to fight against the evil side.

But between embarrassment at my very bad early writing and growing up enough to realize that larping as someone with DID maybe was a bad thing to do, I stopped in highschool. But I hadn't developed a good way to deal with these now free thoughts. So I spent highschool being impulsive and short tempered.

It took going to college to get me out of that state of mind and learn to deal in a healthy way. Mostly bc transitioning prompted me to re-evaluate my entire personality.

So I kind of see Highschool me in the Vill thats finally snapped, different and bc of different reasons but. shes familiar. I really hope she gets to figure out how to cope well, but I'm guessing that wont happen until shes not so terrified of dying to the ER closing down that her intrusive thoughts and survival instinct are making her a danger to everyone around her (since the very first chatroom all the vills were talking about how they dont want to die and need to do something about this)

GOD YEAH SHES FAMILIAR FOR ME TOO… a bit different from you and her though, basically in middle school I thought I was evil and a monster (long story, I basically got gaslighted by an ex-friend and her mom). so i just spent all of those years unable to trust myself and just handling my emotions horribly. i was sooo afraid of myself it was a terrible time. hated myself a lot and had no self esteem. you really gotta learn to deal with negative emotions in a healthy way

oh and that’s the thing Vill DIDNT stop getting intrusive thoughts either. Every time any of the personalities start getting “evil thoughts”, they get shaved off and sealed with the “evil” personality (it’s why i mentioned self mutilation; yeeting bits of yourself is…) which just leads to it taking up more and more “space” (well that’s the magic part of Vill’s situation, the quantifying.) So basically all of this wouldn’t be happening if she knew how to process her emotions and intrusive thoughts normally 😭

she really needs help

(note: it’s still unclear who the anon chat is. could be vill, but could also be some other sims.)

#honkai impact #hi3 #asks #honkai spoilers #vill-v

[grvntld]

was catching up with my gOrL cousins earlier via chat and we realized how we hv so many kwentos to share with each other as it has been so long since we had a get together. we just got caught up with each of our own respective lives so we havent rlly had the time to plot our schedule and meet up in person. anyway, while we were catching up, we also realized that there are a lot of good things that are happening to us so we rlly have to see each other soon and just pour our hearts out.

that said, lemme share here a few of my own wins that actually just happened today!

💐moose and i hv been working on sa own company namin, and today, we got to close yet another deal with a huge client (((an international one!))) ♡ i wasnt rlly able to keep it to myself earlier when we were having our breakfast shoot by the beach. i squealed with delight when moosey messaged me that they responded to our proposal and they said yes to it! waaaaaahhh we're so happy! we'll be ironing the details when i get back from my werq trip but moosey already did reach out na to our soon-to-be employees.

employees—i cant believe we will be onboarding and handling our own people na. omg. life is rlly amazing! big g is rlly amazing! this is all because of big g!! HUHUHUHU.

minsan i still cant believe that im a co-founder of a (((start-up))) company and yet here i am just goofing around like ✌👁💋👁✌ hehe fr though i can be serious naman like ✊👁👄👁

💐enjoyed the beach today, even with the huge and strong waves! our plan to celebrate my birthday at the beach didnt happen but again, big g is out here giving it to me now HUHUHU +++ even though, i wasnt able to go to the beach on my birthday, i rlly enjoyed my birthday celebration in laguna too 🙆‍♀️💓 and bonus points because our furbebis rlly enjoyed that trip as well!

💐im getting a sewing machine! grandma messaged pala around midday, asking me if i hv a smol sewing machine. i missed her call and message bc i was supah dupah busy with our shoots and wtvr. as that is the case, i called her right away when i read her message. i called dibs on the sewing machine that she sent a photo of on our chat. apparently, oir neighbor gave it to grandma. it is new but our neighbor just doesnt hv the time to sit and learn it so shes not rlly sure if it still werqs. lol.

im gonna take my chance with it though. ive been wanting to learn how to use a sewing machine. over the pandemic, i practiced sewing by hand and i enjoyed it so much! ive been putting off buying a sewing machine bc im worried im gonna get overwhelmed and then izz just gonna end up as a clutter sa house. hehe. so now that i got a free one, a cute smol one, i feel like there's lil to no pressure for me so to say that im excOited is surely an understatement 🥰🎉 wahahahahahaha. yay!!

madali kasi ako ma-overwhelm, especially when things are unknown or new to me. hehe.

okiE, dazz all for now. im gonna sleep na as i still hv an early breakfast buffet shoot and site tour tomorrow. thank you for taking the time to read my chikabells. i hope life has been treating you well too! 💘✨

#icecream #im so so so grateful for everything!!! #😭🥰 HUHUHUHU I LOVE ALL THESE FOR ME AND FOR US 🥰😭 #i did not check this for errors so excuse me if you ever see anything #cottoncandy

[sunlightandsuffering]

Hello! Ages ago I wrote an ask like an alternate version of MM with Eren using dark magic to regain his human form (https://sunlightandsuffering.tumblr.com/post/705392082716639232/im-glad-you-liked-dark-magic-eren-haha-i-didnt). I never imagined we’d have our own Dark Sorcerer Eren spinoff! Alas, based on the dark magic dynamic I worked on that last ask, I have a suggestion on Eren’s background here: he had a prophetic dream where Mikasa was in trouble and her life was in danger; he doesn’t know what will cause that, but he definitely knows dark magic in involved, and whoever or whatever is threatening her is super powerful.

This is why he begins studying dark magic. At first, his intention is not to use it, just learn about it in order to protect Mikasa. But the more he reads, the more he is convinced that they can’t face whatever is coming, because he’s simply not strong enough. And dark magic is a pathway to acquiring immense power quickly. In his dream he felt that the energy of whatever is coming for them is ominous; and from reading too many dark books, he became convinced that only the darkness can offer him enough power to defeat it. He knows that it might come at his life’s expense, that dark magic is a one way in, now way out deal. But he does it for her, he'll sacrifice himself so that he can defeat this evil being even if he dies in the process, even if she comes to hate him, conscious that he’ll probably lose himself in the process.

I hope y’all can see where I’m getting at. His dream is a self-fulfilling prophecy. The darkness that’s coming for Mikasa is no one other than Eren himself. Dark magic corrupts the user and distorts their mind, it’s a slippery slope and gray actions become black way too fast. It’s also a circular prophecy in the sense that he first intends to stay away, but she goes after him, and once he’s deep in darkness he can’t deny his attraction to her, that he wants her; but the exposition to dark magic and to his deranged self harms her but now he too can’t stay away. Dark magic is addicting; and as the user loses himself in it, he needs more and more of darkness to keep himself going, which is where Dark Sorcerer Eren is at. We can also play into the fact that Mikasa will try some dangerous purifying spell save him. I don’t know how it ends specifically, but maybe it can be Eren realizing the prophecy’s true nature and rejecting the darkness out of his own willpower to save Mikasa, while she too saved him.

Yeah I think this makes sense!! it's kind of similar to canon a little, but I think it makes sense for Eren bc Mikasa is like the only reason he'd resort to such methods and if dark magic is addicting and very pleasurable it just spurs it on, he gets addicted to the power while also knowing he can protect her now and its a vicious circle!

#dark magic au

[raethethey]

hey its me. rae. im fine. im just having a breakdown rn and uhh idk how to deal with that really. like in a healthier way. whenever i was little and had an overwhelming experience or a day filled with anxiety i would shut down and escape to my room and turn on music and hug my blankie. but like thats not really dealing with the issue yk, its ignoring it until i forget abt it and then it happens again sometime later. i get stressed over the little things and they pile up. but idk when the mountain ever topples bc i pile it up behind me if that makes sense. just throwing it over my shoulder yk.

read at your own risk. i delve deep into traumas.

i grew up in a sheltered house, lower middle class, religion available to me. i didnt show up to school and have teachers pull me aside and ask me questions abt my parents and home life. but i did have issues. i apparently had a mother who occasionally abused alcohol (i guess i blocked this out and thought she was just smiley a lot) i had a father who decided a belt was more efficient than his hand when disciplining us, soap mouth washing was normal, holding his hand over my sisters mouth so the neighbors wouldnt hear her absolute monster of a meltdown screams (she could scream/ i was sitting on my bed watching this and covering my ears as best i could) yes he let her breathe but she was 7(?) she would just take a breath to scream again. i witnessed holes in the wall but never a bruise on my mother or father. (thats when cps was called) (thats when i realised i would become a statistic kid someday). i witnessed so many tears and yelling and walking out the front door (or even getting out of the car on a highway exit in the middle of a state we didnt live in to get away from him) i witnessed my mother connect with the ladies at church who didnt wear big hoop earrings or high heels or gaudy make up bc they grew up with 'bigger' struggles. (divorced parents, trailer homes, smoking, a sister who got pregnant at 14). i witnessed my dad struggle with someone who wasnt a good match for him but he was religious, death should happen before divorce. he would plead and beg and that sound when his voice cracked haunts me to this day. on the 28th of december when they gathered us to tell us they were divorcing i stood up, said, "i knew it." and went to my room until i had to pee or eat or go to school i dont remember. i lived between 2 separate houses until i turned 18 always lugging my sister around after she came back from boarding school for 2 years. i chose to live with my dad bc he was more financially and mentally stable. do i regret that? almost everyday. would i go back and change my choice? no.

im attending college rn with almost nothing in my bank account and no more help from dad. im scared bc im not smart, i believe i have learning issues bc not every teacher teaches the same and its been a constant guessing game as to whether ill pass or not based on them. i can apply myself when i get interested but if you lecture us like youre talking like a middle schooler abt the weather in an awkward convo with your crush, what the hell am i supposed to get excited abt?

how am i supposed to live in a home that expects more than i think i can give just because im an adult? with a man who doesnt understand social anxiety or burn out or depression bc he has the lord and faith and hope and he doesnt need to worry abt whats next. how am i supposed to recover from a night of not sleeping and watching youtube videos to drown out the thoughts (sometimes suicidal) and then be expected to get up at 8am and go apply to 7 jobs and grocery shop for your ass and clean the house and not take a nap that turns into 15hours of dead sleep at noon bc im adult and thats just what adults do.

no thats society. thats society fucking everything up for ill minds and those with disabilities and disorders and chronic sickness. society tells me i need to move out at 18 (when your brain only finishes developing at 27 ish). society tells me i need to figure out my life when im not even a 1/10th thru it. to get a degree at 22 a job at 23 bc youve interned somewhere for 2 years already and have that job for 50ish years, a spouse a house and kids at some point during that time and still be financially okay and be able to pay off student loans and hospital bills and mortgage and whatever else. society says fuck you all the fucking time and i cant fucking stand it.

im not ready to be 23. im not knowledgeable on how life works bc i was sheltered. we were poor we couldnt look stuff up willy nilly, if i did i was terrified i wasnt allowed to bc god is always watching, youll go to hell. i know nothing abt sex ed bc our teacher wasnt even fully certified. i know nothing abt taxes or bills bc we didnt have a finance class available. i know nothing abt dating bc no boys until youre 30. i know nothing.

when my parents split and i lived with my mom every other week, i searched everything under the sky in my room at night bc i was scared. i was scared my dad might find out that i thought [sally] was cuter than [sam]. that i was jealous of [jasons] body and the way it was shaped. that i liked the way [marys] voice sound bc she was cool on tv (she smoked) the way [johns] voice sounded bc it was lower. i read fanfiction as soon as i knew what it was. when i gravitated toward more mlm fics i was scared of those new apps coming out that let a parent see what their kid was doing.

when i graduated high school and didnt know what to do with myself for two years, i drowned myself in fanfiction and fantasies. when i was given an ultimatum of moving out or going to school and/or working i chose school bc by then i had found kpop. i fell in love with something for the first time in a while since fanfiction. i like the new language i hadnt really ever heard before other than psy's song that rocked the world. i realised ive always loved languages why not teach mine? thats popular. so i chose school, i dragged myself through months of mental torture and physical stress torture and im still doing it bc one day ill live a dream that was forced upon me bc i know im not ready for the world. and bc i chose school i met some of the greatest ppl. ppl who accept me for who i truly am bc that summer wasnt just abt kpop it was abt realising i was not a girl. i wasnt a boy either but goddamn idk what i am. so not only did i read abt gay men but i read abt gay anything. researching wtf was going on in my head. what exactly do i feel like, who am i attracted to, what do i want in life in a partner if i ever get one

and through all this in the back of my head im still thinking im not good enough for my dad bc he believes that even just who i am is a sin, im not good enough for mom bc i chose dad, im not good enough for myself bc im lazy and incapable of doing normal things and a wimp and a loser. im not good enough. i dont deserve this. i shouldve been kicked out years ago. thats how you know if youll make it (i wouldntve). theres smth wrong with me and my brain. the doctor said i had depression and gave me pills i didnt want bc pills make it real. there really is smth wrong with me. thats why they dont love me, they dont think im good enough. i havent been to a doctor in 6 years (1 covid hit so i just couldnt 2 i cant make the fucking phone call on my own) i know i have anxiety and worse depression. i think i have other stuff bc like i mentioned when i think theres smth wrong with me i research the fuck out of it.

cant even keep a best friend. the one in elementary moved, elementary-middle i moved schools, middle-high school stopped talking to me out of the blue, my church friend from elementary is still my best friend and has many the same views abt religion aa i do now and accepts me and loves me for who i am, but shes getting married this year. still have my college bestie but its only been 2 years. i hate myself for thinking 'wait until its been 7, he'll hate you then, but hes too nice to drop you to your face he'll just ghost you like the last one did'

cant commit to a partner either. first one was a mess, he had anger issues. second didnt respect the law. third one was 3yrs older and ready for marriage. 4th was going to the navy in a month. 5th (first girl) was in israel. i was the one who ended them all. my current partner is literally amazing and im scared the day they realise i literally cannot commit. we will dance around commitment forever until you get bored and realise i was just there bc i want to try but deep down know i cant and wont succeed. im scared the day they leave bc they think im playing with them and i unintentionally break their heart. im scared bc i know that will never happen, ill leave them before they can bc i dont want to string them along bc i cant commit.

well ive "journaled" for like and hour now and i need to pee. so thanks for reading if you did. im sorry if you were triggered. i dont want responses. i just needed to get this out.

#rae rambles #tldr: im sad #tw: depression #tw: mental health #tw: long post #tw: sucidal thoughts #tw: religious trauma #tw: alcholism #tw: anxiety #tw: depressive thoughts #tw: gender dysphoria #tw: medication #tw: negative thoughts #tw: vent #delete

[cloudy-dayys]

First question. Does T have a hole in his chest? :0 I noticed in this drawing it looks like that. Second question…does he have lore? 👁👁

T does not have a hole in his chest! i just drew that for last minute symbolism (kinda regret drawing that hole tbhhhh)

and yes T has so much lore!!! heres a quick summary:

he was first created in the early 1980s as a tulpa alternate from the stanley program by a lil girl. he was a basic go to alternate, gonna terrorize the family and make em kill themselves etcetc. but he slowly developed basic human emotions and connected with the child since, especially when this lil girl deemed him as her best friend. he watches over her for sometime before shit hit the fan, an alternate replaces her babysitter and kills her father, her mother sends her away out of mandela county, and he drives the mom to suicide for sending away his best friend. later on T is alone nd wanders fron home to home, watchin nd learnin human culture nd emotions nd history before he feels displaced as an alternate, seeing no need or having no purpose to harm anyone. this goes on nd soon enough he dislikes other alternates nd how they hurt people. other alternates began to dislike him too. he stays in the shadows for some years, watching and learning and developing this sense of humanity. he begins to wonder just how far he can push himself as an alternate when it comes to strength/speed/etc. he plays with forms, tests his strength, tries to increase his durability, nd so on. he didn't have anything else to use as a coping mechanism for all this moral doubt and sense of loss from not following his path as an alternate. he didn't even see himself as an alternate anymore. he was shunned from his 'religion' and decided to just become his own individual. soon he grows a searing hatred towards other alternates, watching as they tear apart the town he once studied. one night an alternate was terrorizing a home and T had enough. he went inside and battled it. he didnt know if alternates could be killed or what would be the consequences of his actions, but in the moment he didnt care. after a battle that disfigured the home, he threw the alternate thru a wall to the backyard and tore up its body. it was dead. seeing its mangled body would drive any human insane he believed, so he needed to dispose of the body. the only way he knew how was to just eat it.

from then on T began killing more of his 'brothers nd sisters' nd eating their bodies all while rebelling against gabriel. he grew angry, wondering how his 'lord' could be so vile and disgusting. he saves countless people from alternates or other dangerous situations, learning his limits and strengths as an alternate, becoming more keen than the others. he forgets his early history due to him growing a consciousness, and now he has a very grey moral code. he kills both humans/alternates as he deems necessary/when he wants, but will not harm children. gabriel gets word of this and tensions grew between the pair as T works to stop this mess while dealing with his own place in reality. he plans to overthrow/kill gabriel, especially after certain events took place. bc of those events (which need their own writing lol its a lot), T becomes traumatized from gabriel nd his religion, nd vows to tear everything down that stands in his path. now in the late 2000s, we see the lil girl who he once knew come back. she looks for him but meets an alternate in an abandoned mall. it almost drove her insane until T smashed in and killed it. she recognizes him from his voice as he has changed a lot, but doesn't know how to tell T or connect with him or what the hell happened, but still follows him around and tries her best to establish a connection with the same alternate that protected her when she was a toddler. T doesnt know how to fix any of this, where he is going, or what his plan is, but he will die trying to stop this mess of christianity.

grossly summarized bc his character is way deeper than that nd im developing the girl rn. overall T is very awkward nd borderline paranoid, tries his best tho. hes nice in his own way and if he isnt eyeing u up and questioning u then ur on his good side. hes collected and reserved, still trying to find his place nd the many what ifs in the mandela county. he is stubborn and very protective and if you make him mad then you are about to go insane or about to die. physically hes very resilient, quiet, and strong. hes fast and sneaky, and can hold the weight a car for a short period of time. he can climb walls and can boost himself off the ground. he can take on other forms but he doesnt choose to, he is comfortable with what he looks like currently. he will adjust it depending on the situation tho like extending his jaw, legs, etc. he can be VERY scary but he holds back, limiting himself so others arent driven to M.A.D. just by looking at him. he tends not to speak in front of humans bc his voice alone is quite terrifying, but actively speaks to those who aren't scared. hes very physical when it comes to fighting and efficient as well, but prioritizes the safety of others around him before throwing himself into a rage and fighting. he has a lot of inner turmoil he struggles with once he is alone with his thoughts, damning himself, the religion he came from, nd anything else that has caused him harm. hes caring nd soft when not fighting tho, still always on guard. he doesn't like physical contact but doesnt mind it if he is fighting or protecting smth.

hes also good with kids which he doesnt understand lol, they're drawn to him nd not scared of him that much for whatever reason.

thats all!! hes just scrungily

#ask #jammin jay #tanner talks #theres a lot more stuff to it especially his encounters with 6/gabriel/preacher but thats for another day #mandela catalogue oc #suicide tw #a LOT of this info is based on my own hcs of alternates nd their capabilities as well

[wilt3d-r0zes]

hello this is an infodump about my probably-never-going-to-be-finished fic for the magic college au (it is Very Long)

basically like halfway through may i started this fic where (if you didnt read the tumblr post which is fine im about to tell you all about it anyways) I took all the lodgers, gave them super powers and stuck them into college (originally it was high school but that felt weird since they're supposed to be adults)

Here's me explaining all the powers and why I chose them now because I Can

Henry and Edward have the same power bc theyre still one physical being, Henry most reflects the "original", but pretty much when he was a little kid he accidentally used his power on himself and split his personality/being into two, creating Henry Jekyll (The "good") and Edward Hyde (The "bad"). Edward likes to hold it over him that as much as he likes to pretend he *isnt* the original and is just as much of a fragment as he is. Henry avoids using his powers now, but his friends and family kepts "casually" nudging him to try a school for exploring your powers, so now he's in one. His power is a lot more than what he did to himself, it just allows him to manipulate emotions, thoughts and memories. It was called "Disconnect" because the only way he knows how to use it is to shut off said things (for example, if someone is having a panic attack he could just turn their emotions off. he wont though, because he has no clue how to reverse it)

Ito is like, one of the most important characters just because of her power. Her power is like the opposite (kinda). It's called 'Connect', and it allows her to connect two or more people together through various means. Senses, thoughts, emotions, memories, etc. She hasn't unlocked much of its capabilities because she doesn't know how to control it, and one of the few times she's used it it was on her brother and he still holds a grudge on her for it. She accidentally Connects their entire dorm floor on the first day there. After those three the rest of the abilities are kinda basic and not super relevant to the plot i already came up with, but im sure theyll find a use at some point George Bird, who prefers to be called Bird, has chlorokinesis (which means he can manipulate plants) because in the comic his expertise is  Crypto-horticulture which is just like-- magic plants basically. So now he has a magic that deals with plants Christopher Archer, who prefers to be called Archer, has telekinesis. He often uses it to help himself while messing around with inventions or repairs (his family wasn’t exactly well off, so he was often the one repairing broken things. good thing he has a knack for it), he’s just in the college to learn something more and get away from home James Maijabi can communicate with spirits, it’s driven him a little bonkers but at least most ghosts fade after a period of time and stop bugging him. He doesn’t use the ability to do much, but he has successfully solved a murder once. He’s in the college to learn to banish the ghosts, and to maybe use them to his advantage. Ranjit Helsby can breathe underwater as his expertise in the comic is  Bathynautical Exploration, which if i remember right means he just explores the oceans. I thought it was fitting. He’s at the college to practice his power in a safe, controlled environment and see if there’s any hidden aspects to it. Lily Lavender can teleport, she doesn’t have much control on it as it only manifested in full a little under half a year ago. She often teleports around uncontrollably when excited, and it has turned into more than a few accidents. She just wants to learn to control it. Eleanora Cantiloupe can levitate herself and other objects, she wants to learn to life heavier objects and bring herself higher off the ground without risking falling off a building or crushing herself with a bowling ball. Jackson Griffin can turn himself and other living creatures invisible, which he discovered around age 8 when he turned his cat invisible and thought it died/ran away. The invisibility wore off after Griffin thought he was going insane feeling a cat-like weight on him while he was sleeping or hearing ghost purrs. Walter Pennybrigg’s ability is called ‘Lifelike’ and he can bring inanimate objects to life, he wants to learn how to make the time limit of half an hour longer. Anthony Sinnett can control fire, he wants to learn how to stop sparking when angry or excited and not catch random things on fire without noticing.  Martin Mosley can block light in such a way that seems as though they’re manipulating shadows, they want to see if there’s any way to make this useful. Baxter Tweedy can turn himself into a being of electricity and go from various electronic and manipulate them from inside. He wants to make sure he never gets stuck inside any electronic and maybe learn to manipulate things from the outside. Robert Lanyon can manipulate water, he just wants to stop accidentally splashing people when he gets pissed off. Jonathan Luckett’s ability is called ‘Combustion’ and it does exactly what it sounds like it does; make things explode. He just wants to be able to explode things without burning a hosue down. Rachel Pidgely can heal living beings, she wants to learn to heal bigger wounds after her brother died and she couldn’t help him. Charles Tanis can bring things back from the dead (temporarily, after half an hour they become zombie-like and after another fifteen minutes they drop dead, unable to be ressurected again), he wants to make his time limit longer and possibly re-ressurect previously ressurected beings. Jasper Kaylock, his ability is called ‘Werewolf’, he can shapechange between a fully human form, fully wolf form and anthro wolf form, he has heightened senses and is naturally much stronger and faster. He wants to be able to control his shapechanging, because currently he’s human during the day, anthro wolf at night and full wolf on full moons.  Victoria Frankenstein, ‘Sentience’, gives sentience to a being capable of containing it, and it is currently permanent with the exclusion of death. She wants to make the sentience non-permanent or learn to control those she gives it to. Creature, a product of Frankenstein’s attempts to create a new species, she has yet to kill him so he simply follows her around After arriving at the school Rachel and Jasper start gathering their dorm-hall mates (as everybody on this list all lives on the same floor/hall but in seperate rooms) for a shopping trip. sometime on this trip Ito accidentally Connects the entire party together, but it doesnt really hit until they all get back. There’s about fifteen minutes of everybody panicking, which created an obnoxious feedback loop of panic. Ito, familiar with her own ability (kinda), Henry, familiar with sharing a mind with another, and Rachel, naturally good at handling hers and others emotions, all manage to detangle themselves from the mess and start calming people down. They all make their way out into the common room where Ito admits that she really didn’t mean to do this, and she has no idea how to fix it. They have to figure out living with their minds all mangled up for at least a couple weeks now. In this time, they discover a few secrets about each other. Frankensteins dead girlfriend, Jekyll’s secret ability and even more secret other half, jasper’s werewolf downsides, rachel’s dead brother, the list goes on.  annd that’s all ive got anygays enjoy your day

#the glass scientists #tgs #henry jekyll #edward hyde #virginia ito #creature #victoria frankenstein #jasper kaylock #mr tanis #rachel pidgely #mr luckett #mr tweedy #mr mosely #nonbinary moseley #sue me im projecting onto the emo one #ms cantiloupe #mr griffin #renjit helsby #ms lavender #mr bird #mr archer #Fanfic writer #infodumping #writing #fanfiction

[mydemonsdrivealimo]

Okay, some questions for the band AU:

How would Jensen meet Bryce in this AU? What would be different and what would be the same?

Why did he go into music? Does he have any special rolemodels in the music world?

Does he keep it national? Or does he have any international concerts?

His favorite and least favorite parts of being a musican?

tysm <3

quick overview so things make sense: aliyah is their lead singer and guitarist, jensen is their bassist, pianist, and backing vocalist, and cyrus (cy) is their drummer and producer (though they all work on production together)

How would Jensen meet Bryce in this AU? What would be different and what would be the same?

i think i answered this before but ive changed it a bit anyway so this is good for an update!! they meet at edenbrook (would be book 2) after jensen smashes his chin open on a mic stand,, (this happens in cannon when he was in the band, but for the au i changed the timeline.) he did a backflip of cy's drumset but aliyah moved her mic stand at the Wrong Time so he didn't see it and stumbled into it on the landing

the timeline is definitely a lot shorter in this one, only about a year for them to get together instead of 3. after the tour, jensen comes out to visit and hang with the group. they dont officially get together during this time, but they're pretty close to it. jensen goes back to chicago for a few months but he and bryce are talking like Every single day and eventually get together long-distance. it takes another year of weekend visits and long phone calls before bryce moves to chicago with him

Why did he go into music? Does he have any special role models in the music world?

he genuinely only got into music because aliyah told asked him to. they were in senior year of hs together, and aliyah had a deal with her parents that if she could have a serious band/music career plan they would get her a really nice, new electric guitar. jensen worked for her dad, and they had talked a few times at school, so even though he didnt play music she knew hed probably be willing to give it a try (her dad had also talked about him a bit at home and how he can pick up on things quickly, so that encouraged her to ask, too).

he really doesnt have any musical role models ig?? there are groups he takes inspo from, of course, but the music industry tends to be fucked up in a lot of places and he doesnt like to put too much weight on bigger artists

Does he keep it national? Or does he have any international concerts?

the band has quite a few international shows!! they primarily focus on the u.s., canada, and latin america, but they have a european run as well. their latin fanbase is only slightly smaller than their u.s. one because a good handful of their songs are in spanish, and, if not, they usually release a spanish version if it sounds good translated (many of which jensen sings on bc he actually speaks it fluently, where aliyah just learned in school and from jensen)

His favorite and least favorite parts of being a musician?

hmmm favorite is probably being able to do something he absolutely loves. making and performing music is one of his favorite things, and on top of that he gets to do it with his best friends. there are always negatives, but he knows how lucky he is to be so well off doing something he actually enjoys

least favorite is being on tour, 100%, no matter how much fun it is. its not so bad before he meets bryce and the rest of the group, but after it can take a big toll on those relationships because hes away for so long. he'll be on tour for almost a whole year, plus another stretch in the next, and shows and timezones put a serious barrier between communication. sure, when hes home, they can be together more than another profession would allow, but when hes away it can suck majorly, especially for his mental health. (the reason he stopped performing in cannon was mental health issues, but in this au he found a healthy solution and got on his meds much earlier, so was able to get back to it quick enough to sign with a record label.) sometimes other musicians can take their partners on tour for a few shows, but because of how much bryce works, it just wouldnt be possible

#ty ty!! #asks answers #bryce lahela × jensen valentine #jensen valentine

[myhalloweendreams]

I’m feeling bad about myself so I guess I’ll get in a pity time rant... sorry about that and please ignore this post

This is just me letting out some of my sorrows... I guess missing my therapy this week bc I was too focused on work didn’t help at all so I’ve to let it out

Well I’m feeling like shit bc I cant afford to live... Yay!! (life is hell too, but mostly bc of money and tiredness)

Get in the line, right?

So many people are going through this, I should stop mopping about it... I truly feel bad about being like that

like yeah u’re fucked, but if this is all u think about, will it solve anything? It ain’t, right? and I know that, i do, but still I’m always so terrified and concerned about everything and what the fuck i’m gonna do

I feel like a freaking burden and an incompetent adult... like this job doesnt pay me enough for surviving, but it isnt even a minimum age job and I really cant get anything better, I dont have enough qualifications or experience for getting anything else even in the same payment range

I work a lot, I don’t get paid enough and to help all that I have no day for receiving my payment ... it’s already the 11th day of the month and I didn’t get my payment yet, last month I receiveid my payment at the 27th of the month so I’m always stressed about if i’ll have money to pay my bills before their due date

I’m also always stressed that I’ll lose this job too... I’ve no way to surviving without it...Yay!!! How fun!!!

I eat awlfully bad and basically every single person in my life is concerned about it, but 1 i dont know how to cook and yes i know that i could look it up recipes in the internet and try until I get it right, but that get me to my second problem:

I dont have enough energy to try... I literally live all my days without energy

stress + an anxiety disorder + depression + bad eating habits + not being in the sun ever + no exercising + terrible sleeping quality = me feeling like shit and always tired as fuck every single day of my life

what gets me to not having energy even for the most simple tasks, including cooking, showering, brushing my teeth, etc.... I cant be trust even to eat, sometimes i dont even have enough energy to freaking eat

I’m always concerned about not having enough money to pay my bills + my meds + food + the least of my cat’s necessities + the house things i have to buy interchangeably with my roommates... and i dread having to ask for help of my family bc it feels like a certification of failure

I’m so out of it that I’ve medical exams requests pilling up, bc even tho my aunt decided pay a health insurance for me (god bless her soul), bc she was concerned about me, doing the exams mean that I’ve to pay for go there and comeback + whatever meds or wtv they ask for wtv they find wrong.... so i dont go + I’ve little to no energy to deal with it

I mean i have a pain in my jaw, that I’m pretty sure that i displaced, for more than 4 weeks and i didnt go to look it up bc i know i cant afford wtv they ask me to do  about it... I literally am in pay all day, every day at least an mild way, in a good day and eating and opening my mouth hurts like hell, but here i am just pretending nothing is happening, bc u know, poor people cant afford getting hurt

Dude, I was even like “I’ll go to a nutritionist to learn how to drink less milk so I can save money” but then i learned that i cant just get an appointment with one, i’ve to go to another doctor and this doctor has to give me an referral to go to them... I dont have enough energy for that... common help a bitch out

How much I’m trying to save up? 

I avoid to take meds so I dont finish them and have to buy more... headaches, flu, stomachache, diarrhea or wtv only gets to be treated with meds if it doesnt go away by itself

I count my meds so i can make my psychiatrist  appointment when it’s about to end so I dont have to buy different meds and waste the ones I already bought bc he changed them for others... are the actual ones working perfectly? probably not, but at least I wont lose money with that

(they change my meds a lot bc everything seems to stop making effects on me or at very least not making enough effects T-T )

My family wants me to buy hair supplements bc I’m getting more and more bald... i dont have money for that sweeties lol

like genetically i’m supposed to have not that much hair, but u add the stress, the anxiety and the depression to it and u get me losing more and more hair, to the point i have some bald spots and need to get my hair in some specifc ways so they dont show... Yay me³ !!

(for my family: please sweeties stop caring, i cant afford shit)

Ohh I forgot to metion, my job (home office) that doesnt pay me enough to survive normally now wants me to go to the office for meetings so lets add more travel fees to the already overpast budget

since i’ve all that going on my skin is terrible bc u know it doesnt really answers well to all that... so I’ve bad hair, bad skin, not enough money to surviving (what is leisure? I’ve no idea of what it’s to do anything for fun... i cant afford such a thing lol), enough stress, anxiety e depression to make be in the very edge + u know all the health stuff not being look up and no energy

i dont know whats peace of mind for so long now that I’m losing it, but at least I’m doing it with a smile in my face so at least my family doesnt feel burdened lol

so I guess i’m doing peachy and everything is okay lol

Well at very least I’ve my Agatha... she’s the bright side of my life

the little meow meow keeps me haging there, my baby girl is an angel and i love her with all my heart

*Me having a hard time at working*: look at my cat and go “well, I’ve to pay ur food sweetie potato... so let’s keep going”

*me not wanting to get out of bed*: remembers I’ve to feed my baby and attend to it and get up graciously as a freaking zoombie but i do

and so on

-----------------------------------------

Well, well, well... now that I started to talk about Agatha, let it out and I cried a river I’m felling a little better

So since I’m using this as a adjunct therapy or somenthing I guess I feel like doing smt every therapist told me to do but I didnt do bc I felt like it would just make me feel worse, bc I cant have it... making a list of things I would want

I guess the first thing would be: be capable to pay all my things without problems. U know? not having to get worried about money 

the second would be: be able to upgrade the things I use in my daily life

the third: be able to give Agatha all the things I think she would like... treats, the best cat food, environmental enrichment and anything and everything she shows interested in

fourth would be: probably buy the things I like or want just bc I want to , without worrying about expending money... what totally includes buying things for all the people that I care about to my hearts content and giving them (or sending them) all the things that make me think of them and giving money to all the people that i cross asking for it or working in the crossroad

- maybe taking care of the health things that have to be taken care of (it should be somewhere in the list i guess) lol

- do things for fun

- learn things for pleasure

- buy things for and do diy things ( i love to create and to do new things)

- learn new languages... like a new one every time I finish the last one

- relearn Interior Design stuff and learn Graphic Design (i love do things in the computer)

- have a job that I like... I mean I really like (and I know that even like what u do u dont like it every day but still can u imagine working in something that makes u want to get up in the morning happily)

- retrieve my reading ability and read a lot (buy all the books that catch my eyes *---* )

- getting to know more awesome people

- learning physical things that I find cool (like i dont have any affinity with anything physical, I have no strenght either, I also have labyrinthitis what makes me give every time I try)

- buy my mom and my mom a house and give them enough money that they dont need to be worried about bills anymore (well this is probably higher in the list but since is a bigger thing I only thought about it now lol )

- taking care of my apparence I guess... I mean I would love to be able to dress in a way that i like and really be able to try things and find my own style but it would be cool to try to take care of own self too i guess... I’m not much but I guess with money and effort even I could get better, I mean my best can not be the best but still my best

- living in nice place that i’m not scared of being thrown out at any minute (renting a room in a strangers place is very worrisome) 

- OMG!! I just thought it: Go visit my international friends !!!! *----* (this one is hella important)

- do something praise worth

- have a little waterproof portable speaker so i can hear music while showering 

edit: somewhere in the begginig would be not being tired and not feeling miserable all the time, getting over my social phobia, stop having panic attacks, not driving myself insane with anxiety and intrusive thoughts, having my attention spam back, get over my body dysmorphia ... I went all for material things and forgot some pretty important stuff

This list didnt get not even close of the right order lol

it just went in the i just thought about it order lol

I guess I cant think of anything anymore... I’m already tired of dreaming of things I cant have lol 

but it was kind of fun think about nice things

#ranting #bullshiting #ignore this #i had forgotten the read more thing #i should be using it in every personal post #lol #nothing to see here folks #how do u spend ur weekend night? #crying my ass off #while taking stuff out of my chest for no one to see #i guess letting all out is hard but at least it feels a little less burdening #not wanting to let anyone see this side of u is hard bc u dont have anyone to talk about it #but i prefer to not burden anyone just bc i feel bad #but rn thinking about it I guess I would like the people i love to tell me if they are having a hard time #even if i couldnt help i would like to at least listening to them #what a hipocrite #maybe i should talk with someone #maybe #maybe someone would not feel the same #idk #well i just took way too much time writing all this #now ill just let it go #bc im really tired and emotionally exhausted