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schoenht · 1 year

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IN EVERY LIFETIME !

j. viper x reader smau

synopsis: y/n was shoved into a world where they would have to play the therapist. but when someone adamantly refuses to be helped, even while being friends, the only question that remains is why? the best way to find the reason is to look for it, all while harboring a secret crush on both ends.

genre: smau, slowburn, idiots to lovers (idiots in the sense that neither believes their own feelings are there), angst, crack, fluff.

warnings: a lot of cursing.

note: listen. there are no jamil smaus and i decided to make one myself. also there are many chapters bc it forces me to actually do a slowburn so LMAOOOO yay! tbh though, do not be surprised if i delete some chapters in case it feels like i have nothing to write for that chapter. COMPLETED!

playlist

the fish mafia | scarabia's best (worst) residents

act one.

i. azul's mom has got it going on

ii. ace, actually die

iii. spare dabloons?

iv. mr worldwide becomes mr universe

v. you wanna kiss me so bad

vi. cry about it

vii. alvin and the chipmunks from walmart

viii. the spelling b(itch)

vix. charles' angeles

x. australia called, they want floyd back

xi. your zodiac element: hurricane

xii. no wifi

xiii. beat his ass, bro!

xiv. dude he's got some pretty eyes

act two.

xv. punch the crow shaped piñata

xvi. neige leblanche >:(

xvii. auditions

xviii. rook needs to stop

xix. rehearsals pt. 1

xx. y/n's future as a sports announcer

xxi. vocaloid era

xxii. play mamma mia by abba

xxiii. heart eyes

xxiv. maybe the real bad place...

xxv. ...was the friends we made all along

xxvi. who is u?

xxvii. the punching of the pretty boy

xxviii. 50k enemies to lovers hurt to comfort angst

act three.

xxix. pinkity drinkity

xxx. are you lost babykrill

xxxi. little einsteins

xxxii. gatekeep the gatekeeping

xxxiii. humpty dumpty's biggest mistake

xxxiv. shakespeare monologue, go

xxxv. a little fixer upper

xxxvi. the Date(tm) ✎

xxxvii. rewind, restart

xxxviii. there is no answer

xxxix. but y/n is the answer

xl. the wave returns to the ocean

xli. epilogue

#twisted wonderland masterlist #twst masterlist #twst smau masterlist #jamil smau #jamil viper smau #jamil x reader #jamil x y/n #jamil x yuu #jamil x mc #jamil viper x reader #jamil viper x y/n #jamil viper x yuu #jamil viper x mc

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skunkes · 4 months

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it is so refreshing to see ppl be like normal and regular about other artists taking heavy inspiration 😐 way too many ppl start screaming and crying over it for some reason /gen

i understand why some people might! especially depending on visibility and audience, and level of heavy inspiration.

i know there was a point where ppl thought i was copying a popular artists character and i got so scared solely bc i feared people coming after me.

but i also understand bc I myself have taken heavy inspiration from others before, and also because I myself am not somebody who Sticks (or Stuck bc i dont do heavy focused style inspo stuff anymore, because, surprise! i grew and frankensteined it into my own work after i learned what i like!) with an emulated art style for long

(see: my post where I struggle naming inspirations bc my inspirations arent...extremely, consistently, visibly, immediately influential on my work.)

i like giving ppl the benefit of the doubt for that reason... I now also understand and recommend naming/mentioning the ppl who inspired you when you do so as it immediately sets that level of understanding! (like oh, its a style study/inspiration and not somebody plucking my hard work and planning to cause a scene abt it)

like even recently that person who was copying my art down to the ideas (literally redrew a personal smunker doodle comic about smthng that actually happened to me, as their sona), i decided not to intervene because well, they're young, not harming anyone or screwing me out of anything, there's a chance they learn what they need from my stuff and move on in a few months. that's how you Learn sometimes...i did the same when i was in high school, i grew and moved on art wise... no good would have come out of someone attacking me about it bc its... common !

i do like seeing how ppl are interpreted and inspired by my stuff because im curious, and have enjoyed what ive seen mentioning me directly ^_^ but ill still say the only mistake made in this specific case was getting caught ykwim? "do what you want but dont let me see it" (except i do wanna see it ykwim)

#skunk mail #Anonymous #long post #long ask #i wish it was more commonplace to like #idk. i was gonna say me copying art style in high school is no different than ppl drawing in ghibli or AT style #but it IS different bc its recognizable and easily attributed to the original creators #its not the case with people who arent established #which was my issue with ppl thinking i stole an oc. obviously since i have less followers im Stealing 🙄#but idk! everyones got the capacity to be heavily inspired like that #wish proudly naming each other and peers as inspiration was as normalized as proudly being like oh yeah of coursemy arts inspired by pokemo #i love pokemon. etc. but i do understand the difference being in the lack of recognition #and ppl understandably being really protective of their creations/work for that reason...!#especially in cases where the person taking heavy insp is getting more attention than the original creator...!

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k1t-ska · 9 months

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Change (Iwaizumi Hajime x f! reader)

a/n: imma be completely honest with yall but i have not watched haikyuu in over 3 years😭 ive been getting haikyuu + other anime tiktoks on my fyp and that got me into reading a crap ton of random anime fics and decided to write one👅 so here we go i literally came up with this just rn at the top of my head as i was falling asleep and decided to not go to sleep bc of it😾(i dont remember a lot abt haikyuu but i remember obsessing over iwaizumi, atsumu, sakusa, akaashi, tanaka, etc.)

summary: It’s been weeks since Iwaizumi has started acting a little strange, and no matter what you did you couldn’t figure out why. It took a little while but Oikawa had finally told you what he knew on the topic Iwaizumis personality change. Little did you know he was the cause of it.

word count: >1,600

~~~~~

Iwaizumi’s been acting weird recently.

He’s been quiet, which isn’t that different because he’s always been a bit introverted, but he’s been quieter than usual. He doesn’t put in any effort into any conversations, at least any conversations that you’re a part of. But he’s like totally fine with anyone, anyone, else.

Did you do something wrong, or anything to upset him? You haven’t known each other for too long but you’d like to think that the two of you got along perfectly alright. Atleast good enough for you to form a small, teeny, tiny, minuscule crush on the guy. Which is one of the reasons this personality shift is kinda bumming you out.

He could be trying to distance himself because he finds you annoying? Maybe a tad bit weird? Or Maybe he somehow found out about your small… infatuation…? But you don't know how he could’ve. Maybe Oikawa ratted you out after you accidentally told him during first year that you found the ace the only attractive guy on the team and he got butthurt because of it so he decided to be an ass and tell Iwaizumi what you said.

But Oikawa wouldn’t just out you like that, would he? Oikawa had been your friend way longer than any of the other guys on the team. And you knew he was a big mouth but you didn’t think he would just out you like that two or so years later

But alas it’s too early to point fingers and you’re sure you’re late to practice for the third time this week. Crap!

You rush to get to the gym and hear an annoying voice the second you step inside.

“Well, well, well y/n-chan. That's the what?,” he pauses to think, “Third time you’ve been tardy this week! We’ve only had three practices!”

You roll your eyes at your irritating friend. “Shut up oink-awa,” the nickname makes him visibly wince, (he made the mistake of letting you know that pigs were his favorite animal when you guys were in 4th grade and the nickname just stuck (his love for the animal did not)) “I don’t need to hear it from you.”

He makes his way over to help you with your many bags. Juggling being the vice president of your schools student council, the boys volleyball manager, in photography and med club, as well as trying to stay on top of your schoolwork, was something that you cursed first year you about very often.

“Yeah whatever.” He rolls his eyes, “All joking aside, you got to take a break sometime.” Ha! Says you.

“Yeah yeah.” The two of you walk over to the bench and place all your bags down. You get up and take a look around the gym and see all the other guys practicing. You make eye contact with Iwaizumi for barely a second before he whips his head around as fast as he could.

You sigh and Oikawa notices. “What's on your mind y/n?”

You look at him, confused, “Nothing big,” He’s still just standing next to you, “but why aren’t you out there practicing?”

He starts, “Oh trust me I wish I was out there, buuuuuut someone,” He turns to you eyes bulging out of place staring you down, fake coughing as loud as he could, “made an anonymous report to couch that I had been ‘overworking’ myself recently so I’m benched for today's practice.”

You look away shyly, very quietly saying, “Oh yeah I wonder who that could’ve been.”

He gives you a short deadpan look before quickly changing, “SO! Now I’m stuck,” he pulls you into a side hug, “hanging out with my AMAZING manager bestie and helping her with her manager duties!”

Turning to look at him, you make short eye contact with Iwaizumi. This man is going to drive you insane. “Oh how, um… fun!”

~~~

The two of you spent the entirety of practice gossiping, doing regular bestie activities, with a side of managing. But sometime along the way, the one and only Hajime Iwaizumi was brought up. Well actually you brought him up.

~~~

It had gotten a little too quiet for your liking while the two of you were filling up water bottles for all the guys, so you broke the scilence with a question that had been on your mind for a while. "Oink-awa, Have you noticed how... different Iwaizumi had been around me?"

He froze. You raise your brow at his action. "Um yeah I guess, why are you asking, why would I know anything about how he feels or acts or thinks of you y/n-chan?!?! What a silly question!" He laughs.

"Oinks, what did you do? And don't deny because I know for a fact you played some sort of a role in all of this!"

He sighs “So a few weeks ago while Iwa-chan and I were hanging out…” A few weeks ago? As in the few weeks ago when Iwaizumi started acting weird, few weeks ago?

You cut him off, “That's when he started to act so weird ugh Oikawa you suck!.”

He stares at you for a couple seconds, “As I was saying… The two of us were hanging out, and he randomly brings you up, which I thought was really strange because he’s never been the one to bring you up in our convos, I’m the one who has to do it. And anyways-”

“What do you mean you’re the one who has to do it?” you question him, pausing filling up a water bottle to give him your full attention.

“Well I know you like him so I bring you up in almost every conversation we have so he can think about you more on his own, I’m sure it's a kind of manifestation if you really think about it-”

“WHAT THE FUCK OIKAWA??? WHERE did you get that kinda information? SAYS WHO? Who told you I liked him because I know for a fact I didn’t tell you crap but accidentally call him hot around you what TWO/THREE YEARS AGO?? WHy would you do that? You BETTER not have sold me out and told him I liked him” You think you’re about to explode.

Oikawa looks absolutely scared for his life before he continues, “Calm your tits y/n god. Now if you would please let me finish my story.” He grabs the water battle from your hand and starts to fill it up himself.

You step back and lean on the gym wall, “You’re right, my bad, I’m sorry Oink.”

He keeps his line of vision on the water bottle, focused, “Well, for context, before he had brought you up, we had been talking about girls, mainly it was me talking about that, and I had been talking about wanting to find a gf yadda, yadda, yadda. Then there was a moment of silence for a bit.” He pauses, looks at you to make sure you were listening, “And he asks, ‘What about y/n?’ And the first thing that comes to my mind, because i’m kinda dumb, is ‘why the fuck is he suggesting I date my other bestie’ and not ‘oh my god, my plan is working because he’s bringing you up.’”

He finished filling up the water bottles and the two of you walk over to the benches to place them there.

You butt in, “Well yeah because all you ever think about is yourself oink.”

“Shush!.” He stares at you, “Continuing, so after he says that I say, ‘Yeah definitely not y/n. The two of us are basically twins who got separated at birth.’ And I see Iwa roll his eyes and say the most shocking sentence ever said in the history of shocking sentences. ‘I meant for me.’” He gasps and you get ready to scream before feeling his hand cover your mouth.

You’re too shocked to say anything so you just mouth the words ‘what the fuck.’

“I know, I know.” Oikawa starts. This is definitely not how you expected to find out about your shared feelings.

The two of you walk across the gym to head to the supply closet and grab some mops since practice was nearing it’s end, lowering your voices whenever passing by Iwaizumi.

Oikawa continues in his story, “So you probably would’ve guessed that I was absolutely shocked and just stood there in utter disbelief. And trust me, not because it was you, but because Iwaizumi rarely talked about girls before, especially not about a girl he liked. I was so shocked I had no idea what to say, all I could come up with was, ‘I dunno, I guess’ and he didn’t bring it up again after that.”

You stare at Oikawa with something he liked to call ‘crazy eyes.’ “So in your long ass story, you made me lose my ONE CHANCE AT GETTING MISTER HUNKY ACE????” you whisper yelled at him.

“Yeah, basically.” He shrugs.

You were ready to go off on him before you heard the coach call out to you guys to leave and lock up.

“You got lucky.” You push your mop into Oikawa and walk away to grab your stuff from the benches, looking up to see Iwaizumi holding half of your bags with a concerned look on his face.

“You two ready to head out?” He looks at Oikawa who was jogging over from the supply closet, trying not to make eye contact with you for too long, or even better if you made no eye contact whatsoever.

“Yup.” you say angrily, still mad at Oikawa.

‘It’s funny’ you think, ‘So much has changed about our friendship since their conversation but the one thing that hasn’t is that he still holds my bags for me on the way home.’ you smile to yourself.

Iwaizumi sees your smile. But is only angry at himself as he feels his cheeks get red.

~~~~~

a/n: there will be more of Iwaizumi in the next part I promise(maybe(i'll try)).

(also not proof read bc i'm tryna go to sleep so sorry for typos!)

#iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi x you #oikawa tooru #haikyuu

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jennilah · 10 months

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personal rambling in public again

hey how ya doin

just kinda thinkin bout stuff and my year so far

i made a promise to fill this year with just as much events and exciting things as last year and I am making well on that so far, just not really in the way i expected!

i swear i came back from my easter vacation different

i came back from vacation to find out that many of my friends and coworkers were laid off (public news, i wont be getting into detail) and that really bummed me tf out. that was the start of my vibes being thrown off. theres been a kind of aura of sadness in the office ever since, to me at least.

my parents also very suddenly decided to sell the house, the one i grew up in. something thats bittersweet, but generally just another big change that was making me feel weird

then my rebellious phase really began

first, became a true stoner, and got my first tattoo. which quickly became planning my second tattoo (booked next month!)

yes, theres been many jokes about me entering my true form as an artist with the weed and the body art and all

and then, the biggest of all, i decided to say goodbye to my current studio and sign a contract with a new one.

this is the first time im leaving a studio by my own volition and not because i myself was laid off. (its a rough industry lol) its definitely different. a lot more emotional. my current studio is a place ive called home for many years and I really had an amazing time there, and ive made so many best friends and connections there. (its the first studio i worked for! after my brief stints at other studios i managed to end up right back where i started after a company merge lmfao)

i think i was non stop crying for five days straight last week, in utter turmoil deciding if i should stay at my current studio where im highly regarded and my job is as secure as possible (bc of how unstable the industry is right now with the writers strike) and i work with people i adore, or explore whats out there and try something new, but risky.

i ultimately decided to take the risk, expand my brain and see how another studio operates and make new connections and friends. if something happens and im the first to arrive, first to get cut- then so be it. ill make that mistake, then.

once i made the decision i have only felt more and more confident every day in that choice, and excited to start something new. i realize this was probably the exact last change ive been needing. everything else around me was suddenly changing and throwing me off, now i get to be in the driver's seat for a bit. just go all in and really enter a new chapter in my life, as corny as it sounds

anyway next thursday will be a very tearful goodbye again, i think. handing in my resignation i was a MESS. but im also excited! They dont do as many films, but they do a lot of really interesting shows on streaming. and i get to FINALLY call myself a SENIOR ANIMATOR. i already was one, but that studio had their own unique title system, and so it was never really clear to other people in the industry wtf level I am, esp with my very small amount of years of experience. I am officially a Senior Animator. feels nice.

and i also get to have a nice month-long vacation between jobs ^^ gonna take full advantage of relaxation and having free time. gonna even be able to visit my parents this summer, something i didnt think id have time to do. (and see that new house!!) (AND do the convention! and Art Fight! and get my second tattoo! and get back into that slasher-watching and TOTK-playing!)

this was longer than i planned imma go eat wendy's

#jennilargh #personal

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deerest-me · 4 months

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okay im curious about Plenty of questions but i dont wanna ask Too Many questions so pick the ones youd wanna answer more from this list. Or all of them if you do want :3 here it goes (🎁)

11. Can you share a favourite mathblr post?

2. What is the hardest problem you solved?

7. Please share a favourite open problem of yours!

17. What was your favourite math video this year?

as soon as i read these i realized i dont have particularly good answers to any of them djfadkjfakdfakjs but OKAY HERE GOES

11. i have long since lost where i found this, but it's one of my faves:

simple but, idk, really tickles my funny bone! saying ``born to commute world is a direct product'' is addictive.

in terms of actually serious mathblr posts, pretty much anything by bubbloquacious or model-theory would count!

2. answering this question is the hardest problem ive solved. jk.

in the sense of, the problem that took the most stretching of my brain, that would actually be the FIRST HOMEWORK PROBLEM OF MY LOGIC / PROOF WRITING COURSE

my university used Inquiry Based Learning (IBL) methods a lot, so this class was my first exposure to actual proper theoretical math, and it the class i had on my very first day of college at that. and i had to basically figure it all out myself? the idea with IBL is that you learn by making a ton of mistakes, and do it entirely by yourself with minimal teacher intervention. so, the homework problem in question was to draw all graphs on five vertices, and to PROVE that it exhausted all of them.

up until this point i had only ever done calculus and shit, and the first day of class already made it painfully clear that i completely had to change how i thought about math lol. so, i spent hours on this one, simple problem, to make sure i REALLY REALLY was actually proving it. and i cried for an hour afterward. lol. then i went on to kick that course's ass and become a proponent for IBL in general.

hardest in terms of mathematical sophistication...? idk, that's tricky. maybe one of the fanciest ones i proved ``by myself'' for a class is kronecker weber? i guess?

7. YANG MILLS EXISTENCE yang mills existence yang mills existence. yes i know it's a millenium problem but it's at least one of the less common ones. i love yang mills theories they are soo pretty 2 me. biased bc im a combination mathematician-physicist i guess lol.

runner up: classification of pointed Hopf Algebras.

runner RUNNER up: a proper axiomatization and mathematically rigorous treatment of quantum field theory up to the level of the current iteration of the standard model lol.

17. HRRRG i dont watch many math videos sadly :( mostly reading. BUT i do remember that one tiktoker making something nifty about the aperiodic monotiling discovery back in the spring. i thought it makes a pretty great educational tool / way to interest people in abstract math.

#math #long post #ty for the ask friend i hope these are somewhat satisfactory lol #completely blanked for a solid few minutes jadsjfakdfjadkfadkjf

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willowser · 7 months

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not long after i followed you it inspired me to revive my dead fic blog with only one post because i deleted my last one (worst mistake of my life cause now those fics are gone to the void and ive got no idea which google docs account the originals are on) even though i dont really follow along with the bnha series anymore loll, but your writing reignited the spark for my bakugou love and i get the fic itch every so often so i just wanted to thank you for that because i had been in a no writing slog even for nonfic related things and its so nice to be writing again even if i dont think its good! its just fun and i dont worry about reblogs or likes or anything just that i had fun while writing it! its so disheartening that usually the older you get the more you stop caring about having fun and making things good or technically right which causes you not to write even though thats how you get better. so yeah thank you for reigniting my spark!

oh, friend 🥺 this message is so special to me because — i was very much in a stage like you had been ! in a no-writing slog ! and it can feel so terrible, to want to do this creative thing and have no energy or motivation to do it, to find no reason in it 🥺 i know so intimately what that feels like 🥺 and it was thanks to some wonderful writers here and this beautiful community that i found the spark to write again, too !! and so to think back on that rough time in my life and remember how it felt to find this lil bubble of ours — it means so much to me that you would associate me with helping you through that 🥺✨ what a gift !!!!

i'm so glad you're writing again and i'm so glad you're writing for YOU !!! for the fun and love of it !! i'm so happy to hear you say that !!!!! 🥺 it is so easy to get wrapped up in the numbers game here, and if you can keep yourself from it, i genuinely, genuinely urge you to do so as long as you can LOL bc you're so right !! in order to feel like your ability has approved, you have to keep at it, and it's so heartbreaking to see some of us walk away because we're disenchanted 🥺

and you bring up such a good point and i've had this discussion with my irl's many times because i hate to see the people around me that have abandoned their creativity because they "grew up" !! they left it behind because they thought they had to or they didn't dedicate the time to it !! i made the promise to myself in my early-twenties that i would never be that person and — here we are LOL

you're so sweet friend 🥺 my heart is so warm at this message 🥺 here is to all the writing that will come from your big brain that will only feed your happiness ! ✨

#cheering you on so loudly #jumping around doing cartwheels #kick flips and stuff #or is that just a move on a skateboard idk but !! you get the idea !!#kissing your cheeks i am holding you safely in my heart #✿ ask willow

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catspinach · 7 months

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ive been meaning to vent on here about work for a long time now so here

i was hired in as a shift supervisor at a brand new starbucks with all brand new employees aside from another supervisor, Mylah, who is a 4yr partner(remember her), and maybe 2 others or so. none of us knew what we were doing. i was barista trained separately from the rest, followed by supervisor training, and then a week off. I came back and had no idea what the hell i was doing, and everyone was mad that i didnt know what to do??

Mylah trained me, and it was brutal. She would critique everything i did, and I always defended myself, saying "why do i need to do it that way if this way gets the same results?" and she did Not like that lmao and the entire training was incredibly tense.

Months pass, and she is worse than ever. she's had several lectures about her behavior but not a single writeup. Nothing has changed. She trained a new supervisor a few weeks ago, and she treated her the same way as she did with me. At some point she slammed a freezer and started shouting, making her cry, and Everyone in lobby turned their heads. i felt awful and wanted to say smth, but I'm genuinely scared of her. Everyone is. Several people have admitted to me that they call off when they see Mylah on the schedule.

The other day, the lobby was empty, and we were free to talk about all the harassment we've faced with her. I cant even remember all of it there's so much but uh here's a list of stuff i remember:

My manager gave Jenn some extra hours, and when they came in, Mylah cornered them, asking why they stole all her hours?? Jenn was comfused because they were literally just added to the schedule so that they would have enough bodies on the floor. Apparently Mylah was pissy at them for the entire rest of their shift, which sucks bc they were already working 12hrs that day:'(

I became friends with a barista named Diana, who is hispanic, and Mylah (white) would always say rude things that made her uncomfortable, saying its okay because her bf is mexican ._. It became a problem and eventually Mylah started looking through all her stuff to get her fired, and succeeded. Diana told me that Mylah would joke with the other baristas about how im stupid and bad at my job, and she said she always stood up for me which definitely did not help her with this whole situation but I greatly appreciate her for it, and we still talk!

Anna said Mylah was talking to her about me and how i do my job wrong. she said i don't face the bills the same way in the deposit bag, and that I dont fill in the money order right so I'm the reason we have so many goddamn nickles, and she said I don't double count the drawers and that's why there's so many mistakes with the deposit. the funny thing is, i DO face the bills the same way, I have never even DONE a money order because that's morning's job, I TRIPLE count the drawers bc i have anxiety, and nobody has EVER said anything to me about the deposit being off.

At some point someone said ret*rded, and Mylah is autistic and was rightfully mad, and brought her to the back to yell at her. not sure what she said but when she came back she went up to me, and only me, and apologized. so like that really hurted but okay whatever ill just go kill myself ig

Mylah was opening one day and told Morgan that since I was closing that it would probably take longer than usual to close? I asked Morgan how Mylah was with closing, and she said that nothing gets done until the absolute last minute, and it takes at least half an hour to finish closing. My record is 2 minutes past close.

Jenn and Taylor told me that I'm their favorite out of all of the shifts, because I make sure to get everything done, I am fast, efficient, and if they have a question I will do my best to figure out a solution for them. Apparently, when they ask Mylah a question, she answers with, "I dont know man, I just work here" and walks away. which like. mood. but she's getting paid 20/hr compared to the baristas at 15/hr, and there is absolutely no reason that the baristas should have to pick up her slack.

Anna used to be friends with Mylah, and they went to get piercings together, and Mylah thought it would be super funny to snapchat Anna having a panic attack about the needle! outside of work, but still fucked up

theres more idk

Mylah got it in my head that I'm the worst of all of the supervisors, and when I found out I was almost all the baristas' favorite, I started visibly shaking with relief! Ive been trying so so hard to make up for how "bad" i am at my job in fear that everyone will hate me otherwise, and now I gind this out and I don't know how to handle this information jdgdheb

I asked them if they would like to talk to the manager as a group, hoping that will show her just how serious the situation is. I don't usually pray for someone to get fired, but I want her ass permanently out of my sight asap

#vent #there's more going on with another supervisor but Mylah is really my main issue #the other supervisor goes around every morning and writes a list of all the stuff i missed the night before and posts it for everyone to se #i love my job #theyre my only problems actually tho like i do enjoy my job for now and i dont have to see Mylah a lot since we're both shifts

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pinnithin · 8 months

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long kind of sad gay poast ahead

saw something about loving the unlovable and it got me thinking about how its a central theme in most of my writing. paired with like, isolation, being separate/other, the doomed concept of human connection, being the only person who can love and understand you the way you need, etc - i watched evangelion way too young if you couldnt guess.

anyway and this is due to the fact that a core part of my identity and personality revolves around the fact that i considered myself unlovable for the majority of my life, first unconsciously through childhood neglect, then by choice as some "you cant fire me i quit" teen angst sort of thing, then by a doomed sense of resignation all through college. its a significant part of how i see myself even now after years of working to unlearn it - ive managed to dial it back to "im difficult to love" which still isnt great but yknow. better than it was

which is why i have attachment issues and preferred one night stands for a long time. my romantic relationships (many of them short lived) have been with well meaning partners who assured me constantly that like, even though youre difficult to love its worth it. and that was all nice and good but it made me feel so fraudulent and disgusted with myself because it put me in the position of thinking either 1) this person doesnt actually know me that well at all or 2) i have somehow tricked this person into thinking under all the baggage theres someone worth loving. which is something i find difficult to reconcile with because the baggage is me too. i cant get rid of it. inevitably those people got wise and it ended up not working out.

by now have all these arguments and strategies geared up to explain to people who make the mistake of caring about me that its really not worth the effort, we're better off as friends or acquaintances, etc. im very transparent about the issues i deal with so its all just laid out there from the beginning and im not like, tricking people into being in a relationship with me or whatever by hiding it. ive talked in circles with exes over and over along the general lines of "im difficult to love" > "no youre not" > "i have xyz wrong with me and i push people away, trust me you dont want to deal with this" > "okay well we can work on that, and youll get better and itll be worth it" > "what if i never get better" > "you will, ill help you" > [me relenting bc im unable to dash their hopes and dreams that even if i Get Better im still Me at the core and the things that make me difficult to love are a permanent part of me]

the relationship im in now doesnt even let me get into that. shan is just like, youre not. youre not difficult to love, youre actually very easy to love and it has always been easy to love you, even before we were dating. and i dont have a comeback for that.

even with my usual strategy of "heres an itemized list of all the reasons dating me is a risk" theyre just like well sure, thats difficult for you to deal with, and im sorry its so hard for you, but that doesnt make you difficult to love. the loving is easy. that part has always been easy.

she doesnt treat me like a problem that needs to be solved she doesnt try to be my savior from myself she doesnt give any indication that shes just waiting it out until i reach a certain threshold of acceptable or unacceptable. she just loves me and trusts me to take care of myself, and it places a lot of personal responsibility on me to be better - not for us but for me, because im the only person who can do that and they know it.

its the healthiest relationship ive ever been in and ive never felt so safe and free to be myself. i dont need to live up to any expectations to eventually make myself lovable. im easy to love. hard thing for me to believe in self practice but going back to the inherent disconnect between all humans, who am i to know or control what they consider easy or difficult? i dont judge her when something she finds difficult is easy for me, so why wouldn't the opposite be true?

#started thinking about this first thing in the morning for some reason #i think because im moving again and its making me think of the last time i moved #out of the house i shared with my ex #something about grief being cyclical idk #pin talks #im doing a lot of posting and not a lot of packing. lol

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your-bigender-big-brother · 8 months

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Hi big brother! i recently came out as a trans guy to my sister and her response was very supportive but i'm kind of scared bc i feel weird abt it. this happens every time i come out to someone who's known me a long time, i get this period of time where i think "augh what if i'm not really trans after all and ive just made a huge mistake coming out" and it usually does pass eventually but i never know how to deal with it, and theres always a part of me thats like "is this even a normal thing to feel when u come out? isnt coming out supposed to make me feel better? is the fact that its making me feel bad right now, even when im accepted, a sign that i'm not really the gender i came out as?"

i don't know what i wanted to get out of sending this ask i guess what i want to know is have you or any other trans ppl ever experienced this? i feel like i'm alone in feeling this way :S

When I first came out as "some kind of nonbinary" (which is exactly how I worded it), I definitely had that same feeling. I thought that maybe my nonbinary experience wasn't quite enough to call myself nonbinary, because I also still considered myself a man. It took me a while to settle into the label and feel valid in that choice.

Coming out isn't always what we expect it to be. Sometimes, there might be some hesitation or doubt. I think the feeling of "Maybe I'm faking it" comes from too many expectations, whether it's what we expect of ourselves or what others expect of us. When we say we're trans, it often feels like people expect us to fit the label in a very specific way or else we don't feel like we really are trans. And we can very easily fall into the idea that if other people think we're faking it, then we need to think we're faking it.

It could be that maybe you're in the very beginning stages of transitioning (if that's a goal for you) and maybe you don't feel like you're quite where you want to be on that journey, so it feels like you're coming out as someone who is still just getting started. At least, that's sort of what I felt when I first came out as trans. I thought that since I hadn't done any kind of name change or gotten on hormones, people might treat my coming out as a joke. it's especially true when we come out to people who have only ever known us one way, only to suddenly have to view us differently.

It could also be that you need to give it time to settle in and for people to start making changes in how they view you - a new name, new pronouns, different gendered terminology, or whatever else you would prefer to change. You only just came out, so people haven't had the time to refer to you in any new way.

Either way, doubting is normal. Feeling unsure or invalid is normal. These things always take time and I'm sure with time, you'll start to feel that relief you were looking for. - 💙💚

#bbb.ask #anon #trans #coming out #gender troubleshooting #your bigender big brother

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wawawawawawawawawawawawawa · 11 months

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anon who doesnt have aspd and taught myself empathy here yet again! i am Now Thinking and remembering that a huge part of why i've never tried to go to therapy or anything is coz like i Know i'd use what i learn to like, manipule ppl better and shit. i enjoy playing w ppl Too much and coz Fun Childhood i've been good at it all my life, but cognitively i recognise its bad so it would be bad and not fair for me to go to therapy and get even better at it and manipulate ppl i love for my own fun. and like even i dont do illegal shit or even like drink alcohol or smoke coz then i can keep the moral high ground in arguments w ppl and i can say whatever i want and call em out on shit and create a fuss for them and stir the pot and they cant call me a hypocrite. like so much of what i do is about making sure i have a level of ability to manipulate and control ppl and situations. so many behaviours which arent explained by autism, idk why i've just brushed all of them aside except that i've gotten bored by overthinking abt them, and ive mostly gotten to a point where they're under control and im content w life

but back to remorse and empathy i honestly just think they're not really necessarily useful things and ppl place so much importance on "oh im such a good person i have so much empathy" but will also use their empathy/remorse to control ppl? like i know ppl w bpd who use their genuine guilt and worries and stuff to get ppl to feel sorry for them and indulge them instead of confronting and working on it. like even ppl w/o mental illness will sometimes try to use the fact they feel bad abt smth to erase their culpability instead of actually fixing their mistakes. it can be confronting for them that some ppl can be like "oh shit i made a mistake. fuck. oh well" (and sometimes fix their mistake/take responsibility) w/o remorse or other emotions to it coz i think it makes them realise their emotion doesnt absolve them

thanks to listening to me ramble!

man i feel that, im also obsessed with having the moral high ground, except i think my view of morality is the best one and everyone else is stupid. also i'm a hypocrite. i also hate hypocrites! yes this in of itself is hypocritical i am aware. do something morally reprehensible? shame on you! doesn't matter that i do the same thing with no intent to stop. its over anakin i have the moral high ground!! i have Standards and Morals and also i'm correct all the time. if i had the death note there would be no story and everything would be okay. i simply would not go mad with power and i'd only kill people who are deserving of it

also yeah i hate the empathy = morality thing i hate it so so so so much. i do think cognitive empathy is a useful tool and remorse can be useful as like, the emotions equivalent of getting spritzed with a water bottle and also you are a cat. do something shitty? feel remorse? my cuck ass is NEVER doing that again!! because remorse felt so bad the first time, why would i risk doing it Again and feeling remorse Again? its just not worth it. but then again if you get more and more used to its presence it wouldnt work all that great and also would suck balls

and i've known a dude w bpd who was like that, and ive known people with good ol fashioned Anxiety Disorder that were like that- worse, even! they thought that bc they had anxiety, they were these cutesy little waifs and anything they did could be rebutted with "but i have anxietttyyyyyy" and everyone was just expected to pity them because of it- no matter what they did! people put too high of an emphasis on emotion as the standard of morality- if you're a scared abuse victim, thats Moral and you are Pitiable, which is Good. however if you fought back, you are Immoral and you are Secretly Probably The Aggressor, which is Bad. (consequently, if you're too scared, that's Moral, however you Didn't Fight Back, which means you were acting Illogically, and Had It Coming, therefore you are Bad) which is hypocritical as fuck! ive taken responsibility w/o remorse and i've takne responsibility with remorse and remorse is Not the important part of this argument, it's emotional intelligence.

#no worries wrt the rambling!! this was interesting to do #thanku for coming to my ted talk :) to my ted talk :)#wasks

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shameboree · 2 years

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hey kels i was scrolling through my dash and then i caught a glimpse of your new fallon drawing and i want you to know that i went absolutely buckwild and then i scrolled further to see the whole drawing and i'm pretty sure i squealed. kels ever since ive started following you and your art and fallon have slowly nestled yourself inside my brain its amazing how excited i get whenever u upload a new drawing. also ive noticed that i'm slowly but surely starting to sound more and more unhinged and wild like you. how the fuck do you have so much influence on me.

ALSO i love the new fallon drawing!! you are so right blue gold and white are just her colours they fit her v well!! and i love how much texture you used throughout the whole drawing and her shoes are AWESOME!! also love the whole winter fairy-ish vibe <3

ALSO i was wondering if you could like sort of,, idk explain your drawing process on this drawing? like if you did the colouring first or the lineart and stuff bc i just love how it turned out and id love to try something similar!!

AW!!! i am so hype for my awful girl to be Enjoyed so much!! she is my favorite dressup doll i love to play barbies with her most of all heheh. also i am THRILLED that my Unhinged and Unwell nature have rubbed off on u. i know i am a Strong personality and it makes me V POLARIZING (i am either LOVED or LOATHED i havent met many ppl who are just like meh abt me. i am an Experience) and its always a DELIGHT when someone finds my feral animal traits endearing or positive and kind of picks up on them. i think because life is short that we should all be as bananas as we please at any point in time. PURE ID HERE BABY

AND TY TY!! my girl has a strong aesthetic and this piece kind of went a liiiiittle against some of that (its a lot of hard angles vs i normally give her a lot of ovals and rounded edges) but for the setting its appropriate bc im trying to give her a bit more of a """"harsh"""" or """"severe"""" vibe (like as harsh and severe as she can possibly look which isnt very). i LOVE to use texture brushes they are such an easy way to get out of drawing details myself because i am SO lazy!!

okay i “”answered”” this i GUESS technically because i typed words in response but its a whole lot of jack shit so like. here ya go. SORRY PAL.

here are some more shoes as u can see i basically draw her in the same ones always except when i draw her in a plugsuit

OKAY THE DRAW IN QUESTION i kind of cheated on bc i literally just traced over one of my older draws i did for a very obscure au i made of who made me a princess (i am always doing such ridiculously niche shit i love to sit in my little sandbox and have no one else understand my barbie rps) BUT the process is the same as basically every draw i do like this. it is very simple so dont worry (or do, maybe)

i use 1-3 layers at a time and then immediately merge when i feel like im done and LIVE W MY MISTAKES if not!! anyway prepare to be massively underwhelmed heh

this is so funny i cant believe i literally traced my own drawing im a fuckin FRAUD im the laziest bitch i know. anyway. my sketches are way messier than this but it always starts out either scratch ass lines or color blocking w this bright ass magenta bc thats what feels right!!!!!!

HERES THE LAYERS I USED LOL i do all textures n shit as a clipping mask so actually i used 4 layers for this bc id set down one texture or pattern that was gonna overlap on a diff layer so i wouldnt have to work harder to erase and then BLINDLY MERGED to make things more difficult if actually i fucked up before that!!! work smarter not harder except when it is absolutely braindead to do otherwise is my motto

IF IM DOIN SMTH NICER like this then i usually make sure all my lines connect (this is also why i do a lot of angles and simple clear shapes when i draw) so i can set that layer as reference and USE THE FUCKING FILL TOOL BAYBEEEEE!!!!! this also makes it easier to fuck around with COLOR imho bc you can just rapidly swatch with zero efforts. i Love to take shortcuts. i Love to be lazy. i HIGHLY rec this, if i have colored smth that stays in the lines then its bc i connected the lineart and used the bucket fill underneath. if my lines dont connect sometimes ill make a temp line and erase after i filled. im dedicated. ALSO u can see here that my patterns layer is all overlapping and fucked up bc i didnt check and erase fully but i use p limited palettes in general so... IT DIDNT MATTER THIS TIME!!!!!!!!.

anyway after all that i lock the lineart layer if i havent already and color some of the lines for some PIZAZZ. easy way to immediately fake effort i do love to do that

HERES AN ACTUALLY MESSY SKETCH:

i do all of my fucking draws on the same canvas bc im a horrible little beast, so the only reason i didnt erase the sketch and use it for the colors layer was bc there were others on that layer already and i didnt wanna scoot them so i could cap the finished draw. i did NOT connect my lines for this one i colored like a toddler. who gives a shit we all die in the end anyway!!!

YOU DIDNT ASK FOR THIS BUT LINELESS MY LOVE... i just color blocked for this one alas i do not have process caps, i will do that next time i draw i guess if anyone wants that!!? i typically only use a single layer for lineless- block out the shape, alpha lock, then color and carve from there. EASY PEASY!! ive shown it before but i spent all my formative draw years on v limited feature programs (mspaint, oekaki, TEGAKI MOST OF ALL) so i dont explore tools much and do what seems easiest and most intuitive to me... im sorry i dont have any sick tricks or real process i am but a feral little clown drawing in the DIRT. also here is the tegaki overlay i use whenever i am Blocked or fatigued w procreate layout. it makes me feel NOSTALGIC and INSPIRED so i do this instead of like, actually getting on tegs2

this ended up long as fuck and FOR WHAT?? its just 10 images and several paragraphs of “sorry im the laziest fucker ALIVE”

#idk what to say here every time i type anything i thnk it makes me seem just completely detached from reality #its not untrue i GUESS. im Unwell but in a stable SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETED THERAPY AND HAVING FUN WITH IT kind of way #kels talks #damn sorry anon this was a whole lot of not answering you at all

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prettyboykatsuki · 2 years

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Hey Ari. This might be kind of a weird and obvious question? But do you think having a partner has kind of influenced how you look at love? Because I don’t know, you post your thoughts about it a lot and I’ve always been more cynical about people and their intentions and romantic relationships in general because of personal stuff, but I also have never had someone like your boyfriend myself, and I’ve never had someone love me like that I don’t think I ever will because I’m me. I guess what I’m asking is how do you manage to always see life and love as so beautiful?

HI!!!!!

this isn't weird at all. i think in general i get this question a lot and for good reason since generally i have a very optimistic view of the world which is very ironic. i want to be clear im a very flawed person with many things that i personally struggle with especially in love. i struggle a lot with letting people know me or getting to know people. if we talk consistently im putting in a lot of effort bc i have a tendency for solitude. i love the people i talk to very deeply.

my boyfriends influence on my life has been profound. while i'd be devestated if we ever broke up, i think i would still be okay in the long run. before he's that i think he's the person i trust and care about more than any single person in the entire world because he is a profoundly loving partner. but he's also a good, kind, capable person.

i was also under the impression for a long time that i would never find love. there were many points in my relationships where i self-sabotaged because i felt undeserving. i had such a negative image and such a limited self-worth. even when i put in so much effort for so much of my life i couldn't push past the idea that i was a horrible human being. and i didnt want that from him. i tried leaving more than once in a very irrational low.

but i remember at a very low point in my relationship my boyfriend said something like "you trust me with every other choice ive made except loving you" and it completely shifted my view point. he was so right. why was it that i could let him do everything but love me?

ive always beeen enamored with romance. but allowing someone to love me without condition is still very hard because i don't know if i believe im a good person. my biggest lesson for people like that, like me - is that love is not something you earn or ask for. and compassion for life is something you develop with time.

when you find love, the hard part is not loving. it is letting yourself be recognized, acknowledged, cared for. to let someone scold you and know they will still love you the next day. acceptance that you will make mistakes and when you do - it's your responsibility to learn and grow from them. you are born with flaws and you will have flaws until you are dead.

and a persons choice to love you, really love you means that you understand they know that and you work on yourself because you love them too.

love, most of all, is an acknowledgement of a persons agency. their wholeness. when you acknowledge people that way and life that way - you learn peoples treatment of you is reflective of that wholeness. and the only way to see someone and love them is facing the challenge of your own life - you get me?

the best way to believe in love and celebrate life for me was to remember how having hope in my heart has helped me want to live. love and compassion and celebrating the world has helped me heal that discontent in my heart.

you have to learn to stop looking for the exit if you want to live a warm life. my boyfriends consistency was a blessing, but i also worked very hard to reach that in myself.

nothing about me is engimatic. im just one of my many and i think you will also be capable of love and being loved so completely.

i dont consider myself a very warm or bright person. but with time and patience and a lot of self-reflection - i came to terms with the only way to live life for me was to see it with compassion and empathy. i think love saved my life, and love for living is the only thing that helped my grow. it's all about my mindset, and my boyfriend has contributed greatly to changing that mindset.

but most of who i am started with me. it takes time and willpower. ive dedicated much of my life to the cause of wielding love. if you dont know about relationships, you can always start at you. but really there's nothing special about it.

#return to sender #idk how to tag this #but the complicated answer is yes he has but its mostly me who made me like this

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noodlegirl-googlyeyes · 2 years

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hey! im noodle, or Ellie, and i was tagged to answer some questions abt myself by the wonderful and very rad @theprocfilesystem, thank you so much!

relationship status: single and not at all looking. i don't know if i ever will be, tbh, mostly just because i don't see myself as the kind of person who would want to. but, since it's late, i'll go ahead and overshare that i do have a regular hookup going with my main gal lliJ (im left handed) that meets my needs for sexual expression quite adequately

favorite color: for a long time it was deep purple! it was my sadboy color for sure. now that im a girl, though, it just feels sad, so i decided my favorite color would be yellow! so, yeah, its yellow :>

favorite food: carne adovada, a New Mexican dish made with Hatch red chile and (usually)pork! red chiles are dried and ground, as opposed to the green variety, which is usually roasted fresh. sauces made with red chile tend to have a very dark, smoky flavor, and have a particularly exquisite spice to them. there are many varieties of a protein in a sauce eaten in/on some carbs, but a carne adovada burrito really stands alone, for me <3

the song stuck in my head: unfortunately, it's 'Hip to Fuck Bees'

the last thing i searched online: i had to start typing in the word 'etiquette' because i couldn't remember how to spell it, but the last actual search i made was 'wired switch controller'(im just gonna get the gamecube style one probs)

the time right now: 11 pm exactly

dream trip: honestly it's less about the location and more about me being somewhere with someone who knows the area and culture well. partially it's because i won't enjoy anything if i don't feel safe, and/or if i feel alone, and partially because i hate being a tourist. i just wanna be there.

something i want: ive wanted to get a PC for awhile, it's been years since i had one. it doesn't have to be super fancy, just something that can handle a half-decent DAW and, like, be able to play my metroidvanias (lone fungus is out now btw and it looks amazing!) cherry on top would be someone to help me get started using linux, bc windows and apple can both go fuck each other.

thanks again for tagging me UwU i appreciate u! i would like to nominate @star-crossed-animals , @spoopyscaryalien , @dominoscarsidedelivery and @zoeadrien but u dont have to if u dont want to! also if u wanna do these kinds of games but no one ever tags u, u always have my permission to say i tagged u :>

in addition i'm adding another question: whats a piece of media(book, movie, show, album/song, etc.) that you feel represents you or an aspect of you that you haven't seen a lot of representation for? i know it's kind of wordy, sorry. but for example, mine is bojack horseman. when i was deep in my dark times, there were so many things about myself i hated. i started watching the show around season two, and i saw some of those parts of me in bojack in a way i'd never really seen before in media. in diane i saw some too, as well as some of the things i'd forgotten i loved about myself, but it was mostly bojack. he is not a good character, or role model, and the fact that i related so much to him was disturbing, sure, but also strangely comforting at the time. as the show continued to air, i grew as a person. i never finished the last season. by the time it came out, my values had diverged so much from his that it was kind of hard to watch. and for all my mistakes, i'm so proud of who i am today compared to that lost, lonely, angry figure slowly torturing himself to death.

like i said, its late so im oversharing lmao anyways ty again and peas and love on planat earf ✌️

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wooahaes · 2 years

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Ahh we all have that one professor who makes u go ??? The fuck ??? At least 5 times in 20 mins lol I get you

Also the nct thing was purely by accident lol aksnsksms I initially listened to boom by nct dream, thought I’d listen to a couple more songs, fell down the rabbit hole and now I actively Stan 20+ men 💀 yeah I did that to myself lol but fr nct has some weird shit but a LOT of bops like if you like slow ballad type of stuff I recommend from home and my everything but nct u or if u like smth cute Touch by NCT 127 is p well liked by most people I introduce that song to! And most of nct dreams older songs are p cute too! I feel like you’ve made a grave mistake letting me talk ab NCT because I could go on FOREVER aksnsksms also I totally get the mark + Haechan duo lol I have a particular fondness for mark because we share the same birthday lol plus he’s so cute I just wanna fucking SQUISH

I would LOVE to hear you talk about Shinee!! All of their music fuckin SLAPS I’ve been obsessed with Body Rhythm every since it came out and like I got into the fandom p late so I don’t know much but I think taemin is fucking hilarious like he is very much my pathetic lil meow meow

-Baby Teume

literally i love her but the way she runs her classes... headache inducing. im probably going to scrape past with a C unless she decides to drop our lowest grade (highly unlikely but very welcome)

... my confession is that i actually enjoy sticker lmao like ik its not great ig? but i can still vibe with it

i have made NO mistake asking u to talk abt nct!!! pls talk to me about nct whenever u feel like it lmao i love hearing abt other ppls groups and the stuff they get passionate about!! literally i love when ppl give me song recs even if i dont end up getting into them bc its a lil 'hey i thought u might enjoy this' and i think thats sweet <3

i learned that marks emojis are a tiger and a lion and im like omg... tiger... another tiger boy to add to my collection. AND lions too??? mark nct ill give u a kiss omg /j

omg... u will regret asking me abt shinee i love them SO much. im ignoring the fact taemin just showed up on my playlist (highly recommend all of the shinee members solo stuff!!! i can absolutely give recs for my fave from each member even tho minho has like two songs to him rn but theyre both good fdkhdshf)

i always say taemin is my bias (hes adorable AND funny like... king stop my expectations are too high-) but i think im truly ot5 because all of them are so important to me. they were the first kpop group i ever listened to forever ago (sherlock (clue + note) is a legend and i love her so much), and i think dropping off shortly after getting into them (which would have been around 2015 because it was the time view came out) and then picking them a little over a year ago was genuinely like... something that really helped me out of a shitty place + hurt because i had missed the news about jonghyun entirely. but even then, i think its made me appreciate him and everything he's done so, so much. i won't get sappy but i truly love jonghyun so much and i'm glad he's no longer hurting. it'll always piss me off when people reduce him down to his death and nothing else because he was such a good person.

moving on from that before i get too emotional... i genuinely just love shinee a lot. i watched one of the shinee world concerts (IV i think?) earlier this year and its amazing how talented they were and still are. shinee truly helped pave the way and inspired so many idols and i adore them. its also fun to just watch them interact, tbh. i don't genuinely ship anyone because i find that weird, but minkey as a (platonic) pair are my faves lmao they always bicker like an old married couple but you can tell that they do love each other and are genuinely close friends.

and jinki!!! onew my beloved!!! i love him so much. he has such a warm presence and GOD his vocals... i die every time... coincidentally love phobia just came up on my playlist lmao but still!! highly recommend listening to DICE if u haven't!! the entire album itself is good but the title track is soo good <3 i always feel like i forget he's the leader of shinee because they're all so close-knit, it feels like they're all on completely equal footing even if jinki is the one leading them.

i didnt rly get into my love for taemin but genuinely i adore him. he's so, so talented both vocally and dance-wise, i love to see the difference between his stage persona (typically his solo persona lmao taemin and his slutty slutty music... <3) when he's really just this very sweet catholic man who apparently only really interacts with his group mates and a few others outside of that. he's so funny and i honestly admire every live he did where he spoke english and messed up and accepted his mistakes? like. learning a language is hard enough, especially one as fucking weird as english, but he just seems to eager to try speaking english and accepts his mistakes. i think he definitely has a very good support network both in the people helping him learn english (job-wise) and in having someone like key there to correct him (and maybe rib him a little bit--but it's all out of love). also i still think its really funny he broke into keys place to leave him a birthday cake and then proceeded to steal one of his jackets. stole my heart at the same time smh

i will stop here bc i still have two questions left on my final but !!! i will absolutely give u shinee recs if you want!! shinee has SUCH a good discography with only a few songs that are... not good at all lmao. but every group puts out some bad songs sometimes, especially when they've been around for a long time! nothing wrong w that! + i'll probs throw in recs from each member's solo career because i genuinely love a lot of their solo stuff as well <3

#wooahaes.ask #asks.anon #baby teume anon #the shinee song recs goes for literally anyone who wants it btw like i love my guys SO much!!!#i rarely get a chance to talk about them as much as i can talk abt svt/trsr

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