#bc last time was almost as bad as this time

[storiesforallfandoms]

sleepy head ~ harry styles

word count: 1467

request?: yes!

“Hey! I request for the first time so I don't really know how much descriptive I have to be so yeah sorry if something's wrong,could I maybe request a Harry styles X reader where the reader has a bad habit of sleeping almost the whole day and when Harry wakes her up late in the afternoon she realizes that she missed yet another day with him and he comforts her beacuse she feels sad and guilty?(I hope this is understandable bc it's kind a problem of mine) thank you ♥️”

description: in which she struggles with staying awake and it makes her feel bad because she misses so much time with her boyfriend

pairing: harry styles x female!reader

warnings: rpf, more like a blurb than an imagine but...y’know

masterlist (one, two, three)

You had no idea what it was that made you so sleepy all the time. You had gone to the doctor and had your thyroid levels and your iron checked, both of which came back fine. You had taken melatonin to try and sleep through an entire night. You even tried drinking coffee and energy drinks to get you through the day. So far, nothing really worked. You were still perpetually tired.

If you had work or any plans that meant you had to leave the house, you were usually awake enough to partake. But the minute you were home, your bed would be beckoning for you, and it was nearly impossible for you to resist.

It was something you already had a lot of issues with, and you were trying to work on it, but it especially became a problem when you started dating Harry.

Harry would never say it bothered him. He was adamant whenever it was brought up that he wasn’t bothered by how often you slept. You, however, were very bothered and felt incredibly bad whenever you slept in late, or when slept your entire day away. You had such little time with him since he was always so busy, and you didn’t want to lose that time by sleeping all day.

On one of the last days before Harry had to leave for tour, the two of you had planned to spend the whole day together. You set an alarm for early that morning so you could get up and fight off the sleep you were sure would try and convince you to stay in bed.

The second the alarm went off, you got out of bed and got ready. You got dressed, made a cup of coffee, washed your face with cold water to wake yourself up more, and made breakfast. You texted Harry to say good morning and to ask when he wanted to start your day together. You were almost finished eating when you got his response: “good morning, love. i’m not long awake, so it’ll probably be an hour or two before i’m ready if that’s okay.”

“of course! see you then ❤️”

Now you just had to stay awake for maybe two hours.

You washed the dishes, even dried them and put them away. You finished your first cup of coffee and put on the kettle for another. While the water was boiling, you went to brush your teeth and splashed your face with cold water again. You paced the kitchen as you waited for your coffee to cool down enough to drink. You couldn’t let yourself sit down. You knew the moment you did, you would risk being hit my fatigue and falling asleep.

You looked at the time on your clock and realized only 30 minutes had passed since Harry had texted you. He hadn’t sent another message yet to say he was ready. You groaned as you pocketed your phone again.

“I’ve had two cups of coffee,” you said to yourself. “That should be good enough to keep me awake.”

So, you moved to the living room and sat down on the couch. You sat as straight as possible, not even allowing yourself to lean on the arm rest or to slouch. You opened TikTok on your phone and started the mindless scrolling. You figured that would be the best way to pass the time. It was easy to fall down a TikTok rabbit hole and lose an hour or more.

Eventually, your back started to hurt from the unnatural way you were sitting. You allowed yourself to lean against the arm rest. But then the leaning turned into laying down. You were on your side with your phone in your hand, TikTok still open. Your eyes were growing heavy, but you fought against them. It wouldn’t be much longer till Harry was ready. You had to stay awake.

But it was a losing battle, and soon enough, your eyes were closed and you were sound asleep.

~~~~~~

You jumped awake at the feeling of someone’s hand touching your arm. You quickly sat up, the post sleep confusion still clinging to you.

“Hey, it’s okay It’s just me.”

You blinked your blurry eyes a few times until you focused on the familiar face of your boyfriend.

You smiled, sheepishly. “Hey. Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“It’s alright. It took me a little longer to get ready than I expected.”

You stretched your arms over your head. “What time is it?”

“Um...almost 4?”

“What?!”

Your phone was on the floor, probably having fallen when you fell asleep. You picked it up to check the time to see he was right, it was almost 4pm. You also saw you had a number of texts and missed calls from Harry.

“I texted you a few times to let you know I was ready whenever you were,” he was explaining. “When you didn’t answer, I called a few times. I figured you were asleep, so I waited a while before coming over, to let you sleep.”

“How long was a while?” you asked.

When Harry didn’t respond, it was all the answer you needed.

Tears started to well up in your eyes as you buried your head in your hands. You couldn’t believe you let it happen again. You tried so hard not to fall asleep so you could spend Harry’s last day with him, and yet you still fell victim to your fatigue.

Harry gently took your hands and lowered them from your face. You refused to look up at him, keeping your eyes on the floor instead.

“Love, I’m not upset that you fell asleep,” he assured you.

“I’m upset,” you said. “I tried everything to stay awake. I knew that if I laid down I would end up falling asleep, and I still did it. I wasted our whole day.”

“Hey.” Harry cupped your face so you’d look at him. You weren’t able to hold back your tears anymore, so they were just running down your cheeks as you looked at him. “You can’t help that this happened.”

“I could’ve,” you said. “If I hadn’t let myself lay down I would’ve stayed awake. I should’ve found more chores to do around the place before you came, or something to keep me busy. But I shouldn’t have to do that! If there wasn’t something wrong with me, I’d be able to stay awake like a normal person.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you.”

You gave him a look. “Yes there is, Harry. You’re always so nice when this happens, but I really wish you wouldn’t be. I wish you’d just tell me how you really feel about it, because I know it annoys you.”

He raised an eyebrow at you. “When have I ever made it seem like I was annoyed?”

You opened your mouth to respond, but nothing came out. He was right, you technically had no evidence to support your claim that he was annoyed with you. He had been nothing but kind and patient every time you had missed plans or fallen asleep while you were both together.

“You can’t help that you’re tired so much,” he continued. “You told me about it when we went out on our first date, it’s not like it’s something that is new and came out of nowhere. And you’ve tried to deal with it, but it’s just how you are. I’m not going to be mad at you for the way you are.”

You sniffled as new tears started to form in your eyes. “But...today was our last day together before you leave, and I slept through it.”

“Last I checked, it’s only 4pm. There’s still plenty of time to do things before I have to go to bed. What do you say we grab some take away and watch a movie here?”

You wiped your cheeks and nodded. “I’d like that. And you promise to wake me if I fall asleep on your lap?”

“I don’t know. You’re adorable when you sleep.”

You playfully pushed him. “I’m serious. I already lost most of my day with you. I don’t want to lose anymore time.”

He pulled you close and kissed your forehead. “I promise I’ll wake you if you fall asleep, love.”

You smiled and kissed his lips. “I love you, and I really appreciate the fact that you put up with my sleepy-ness.”

“I’m not ‘putting up’ with anything, because I love you, too.”

He stood from the couch and pulled you with him. You followed him to his car, where the two of you went off to spend your evening together. And you made sure not to fall asleep until the both of you were tucked away in bed that night.

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #imagine #one shot #request #rpf #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

[devine-fem]

Is it weird to want as much as I desperately want Damian and Bruce to have a good father-son bond,I also want Bruce to have consequences for being a pretty shit dad since Damian has been in his custody?? Alfred has been a better father figure than him and HE RAISED Bruce. I need Talia on his ass like yesterday!!! To be straight up and tell him shit for being a bad dad while he could've been comfortable and loved back with her!! I need Damian's friends to sneer at a legendary hero bc as much at they respect his work they respect Damian more!!!

Also the fact he treats his brown son SO much different than his white ones is fucking crazy bc he's not racist but the writers make it so IT DOES LOOK SO FUCKIN RACIST. Like he treats Tim and even Jason so much better than Damian at times,and Jason and his relationship is LIKE THAT. Dick is ehh with bruce but definitely better than Damian atp. Talia please get yr son away from him 😭😭

I’m bias in a way where I feel like Damian’s relationship with Bruce is very important, it’s just we have been dealt a hand with shitty writers which is sad because writers have done so much to have it be established that Bruce would literally go to hell for his son but like so many writers are so much more interested in showing how Batman and Robin are a power fantasy like they’ve been for years and make Bruce out to be this awful, neglectful parent. I kind of ignore that the same way I do Talia’s morrison stories but I still take in account that I’ll have to assess it. 

I understand its OOC but like how I understand Jason almost killing Damian is OOC and still consider it happened, I also do that for bad dad Bruce. Like those events were too important to Damian’s character to be ignored unfortunately.

I will always prioritize Damian’s relationship with Bruce and Talia over the batboys, including Dick. Dick’s a last resort if those two are not an option. Unfortunately Dick’s relationship with Damian didn’t have a lasting effect on his character like it did Bruce, Talia or even Jon. He’s really just kind of some guy if you really think about it. So, Bruce and Talia and the depiction of the Al Ghuls is my main concern.

#damian wayne #bruce wayne #talia al ghul #dc comics #al ghul family #good dad bruce wayne #bad dad bruce wayne #asks

[bluejay-the-geek]

DC characters/moments as Tortured Poets Department songs/lyrics bc i have a light concussion and am very bored (in the album's chronological order)

(disclaimer before someone is triggered- some of the lyrics are taken out of context or interpreted differently than what they actually mean. this is just for fun don't come for me. also this gets pretty angsty towards the end so proceed with caution)

"I was supposed to be sent away, But they forgot to come and get me"- tim drake very obviously bc neglecting parents/boarding school

"I love you, it's ruining my life"- early harleen quinzel about joker

"My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys"- the whole song is just harley quinn idc (pre-harlivy of course)

"Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym"- nightwing def cried at the gym at some point

"I stopped tryna make him laugh, stopped tryna drill the safe"- dick grayson about bruce after moving out of wayne manor

"You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? I died on the altar waitin' for the proof, You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days"- remember the whole selena leaving bruce at the alter thing? yeah

"I'd rather burn my whole life down, Than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin', I'll tell you something 'bout my good name, It's mine alone to disgrace"- I'm just getting red hood vibes from this no specific reason

"Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin' back home to you, Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to"- almost every gotham rouge to batman right after escaping arkham/prison. especially joker, catwoman and riddler lol

"At the park where we used to sit on children's swings, Wearing imaginary rings"- this one specific panel of tim and steph

"And this city reeks of driving myself crazy"- everyone who's ever been to gotham

"All my girls got their lace and their crimes, And your cheating husband disappeared, well, No one asks any questions here"- it's giving gotham city sirens

"Am I allowed to cry?"- maybe it's just me but i thought about clark kent discovering he had different biological parents and grieving about them even though the parents that actually raised him are alive and well

"So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street, Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream, "Who's afraid of little old me?", You should be" red hood's debut

"The scandal was contained, The bullet had just grazed, At all costs, keep your good name, You don't get to tell me you feel bad"- jason todd about the whole making batman choose between him and joker at the end of under the red hood

"You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me"- this is 100% Bane bc he was born and grew up in prison for a crime he didn't even do!! also cassandra cain and damian wayne

(^this is actually the lyric that inspired this entire post lol)

"You caged me and then you called me crazy, I am what I am 'cause you trained me, So who's afraid of me? Who's afraid of little old me?"- kind of a stretch but remember that time they put jason in arkham?

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)- again the whole song is harley about joker

"Your arson's match, your somber eyes, And I'll still see it until I die, You're the loss of my life"- bruce about jason. out of all the robins that died, jason's death hit him the hardest. even now when bruce sees red hood, he still sees that happy little kid that he lost

"I can read your mind, "She's having the time of her life", There in her glittering prime, The lights refract sequin stars off her silhouette every night, I can show you lies"- bc we all know Nightwing is always dying on the inside, and it was very true in the discowing era bc it was right after he left the manor

"'Cause I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit"- jason pre-bruce

"I'm so obsessed with him, but he avoids me like the plague"- ok so we got joker about batman, cupid about green arrow, hush about bruce wayne... and a bunch of others but it's too many to write lol

"And you deserve prison, but you won't get time"- fucking tarantula that bitch

"The smallest man who ever lived"- the atom! not any of the messages in the song tho ofc he's just very small

"What if I told you I'm back? The hospital was a drag, Worst sleep that I ever had, I circled you on a map ,I haven't come around in so long, But I'm coming back so strong"- joker to batman after escaping arkham again

"I haven't come around in so long, But I'm making a comeback to where I belong"- jason coming back to protect crime alley after being away from gotham for years after his resurrection

"Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leavin' here with you"- batman and catwoman<3

I Hate It Here- imagine the whole song as homeless jason todd taking shelter in the library💔

"I built a legacy that you can't undo, But when I count the scars, there's a moment of truth, That there wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you"- bruce built a legacy as batman, and created a huge family he loves, and it hurts to think about but he wouldn't have any of it if joe chill hadn't murdered his parents

"Please, I've been on my knees, Change the prophecy, Don't want money, Just someone who wants my company"- kid bruce grew up all alone in a huge mansion, but he'd give all his billions away in a heartbeat if he could change his parent's fate

"So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst"- ok so you might think i chose cassandra cain for this only bc of the name, BUT- cass notices things others don't (like cassandra the prophet...), bc of her skills and abilities she is feared the most (Ik the song said "she feared" not "she is feared" but idc lol). like if someone knew so much about you just by looking you'd think she's some kind of a witch too

Peter- picture this: jason had a childhood friend back at crime alley. he left to live in wayne manor and become robin, and said goodbye to his old friend, promising they'd reunite again in the future. 3 years pass and his friend reads an article about jason's death. now listen to the song and try not to cry (if someone writes that fic send me the link IMMEDIATELY this has been haunting me) here's the link to the song with lyrics bc ik you're too lazy to look it up. also jason's middle name is peter:)

"Splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless, Excellent fun 'til you get to know her"- brucie wayne vs batman

"Started with a kiss, "Oh, we must stop meeting like this" But it always ends up with a town car speeding, Out the drive one evening"- catwoman and batman of course<3 the town car is the batmobile speeding out the batcave to catch catwoman (to arrest her or make out with her? probs both)

Robin- ofc we have to go robins for robin! imo that's bruce to dick and jason's robins, and dick to damian when he was his robin. dick and jason- despite the hard times they went through that led to them becoming robins, they were still mostly happy curious kids that run around covered in mud while bruce tried (unsuccessfully) to maintain the innocence they had left. as for damian- it's more of a stretch than the other 2 bc he had no childlike innocence before robin, but dick tried his hardest to extract the child that was hidden inside the ruthless assassin the league created, finally allowing him to experience normal kid things. idk

"He said, "I'm not a donor but, I'd give you my heart if you needed it", She rolled her eyes and said, "You're a professional""-to me this is clark kent completely in love and lois with her sass

"And at last, She knew what the agony had been for"- almost every hero. they suffer, they sacrifice, they fight, and sometimes they want to give up- but at the end of the day, they save lives, so it's all worth it

and that's it folks! feel free to add more/share your insights!!

sorry for any spelling/grammer mistakes, English isn't my first language plus like the title said i had a minor head injury a few days ago and I'm tired soI'm not proofreading this bc I'm going to sleep rn goodnight to all✌️

#the tourtured poets department #taylor swift #the atom #clark kent #dc #dc comics #bane #green arrow #tortured poets department #harleen quinzel #harley quinn #dc joker #the joker #dick grayson #nightwing #bruce wayne #batman #jason todd #red hood #catwoman #selena kyle #gotham rogues #the riddler #stephanie brown #batgirl #spoiler dc #gotham city sirens #oliver queen #cassandra cain #damian wayne

[mysteriesmuse]

Cherry Mocha

You’d been really upset lately. Your period had snuck up on you and ruined a perfectly good sundress that’d you’d just purchased. And now, to top it all off, it was a rainy misty day that really only added to the atmosphere. You’d actively chosen to hole yourself up in your room that afternoon after spending the morning downstairs watching a terribly-narrated true crime documentary with a couple of your classmates. After that you went up and settled in amongst you duvet covers and huffed in discomfort as you scrolled through your phone. Your wrist jingled with the new bracelet that Katsuki had gifted you for your birthday. It was a pretty solid rose gold that complimented your skin and, on Katsuki’s birthday which was less than a week after yours, he procured a matching necklace chain that matched yours — except of course, yours had a little gold K.

The bracelet made you smile as you focused in on your freshly manicured hands which sported a fresh new color called cherry mocha, which glimmered the same color of Katsuki’s eyes in the sunlight. Katsuki had gone out with the boys this morning and you’d already texted once to ask if he’d pick up more ibuprofen for you on the way back and he’d already liked your message indicating that he’d pick some up for you. So whilst waiting, you took seized the rare opportunity of silence in the dorm to call your mother and check-in on your dog who’d recently gone to the vet and come back with a cone — a cone which seemed to exasperate your parents with a great sense of frustration and humor. After a nice phone call back home you sat around and awkwardly petted one of your stuffed animals that you placed in your lap to alleviate the cramps as you sat curled up in a fetal position.

At some point or another you must’ve dozed off because you awoke to rapt knuckles at your door and your phone buzzing away. Blearily your brain put together the pieces as you saw your boyfriends caller ID blinking up at you. You shouted, “It’s open, come in.” Immediately regretting the decision as you coughed a little your voice still recovering from sleep. Your boyfriend quickly threw open the door pill bottle in hand, “Took you damn long enough. I got your meds on the way back, if you need anything else just lemme know. I can run out and grab it for ya’”

You nodded, stretching your arms above your head as Katsuki placed the pill bottle down on the nightstand next to your near empty water bottle. You watched as he made a frown and silently picked it up and turned on his foot and exited the room with more carpeted thuds. A few minutes later he was back and you happily took your meds waiting for them to kick in. He sat on the edge of the bed. “Do y’need anything else?” He asked rubbing circles absent-mindedly on your knee. you shook your head, “no, I don’t need anything else right now, but I might want something . . .” you murmmered, eyes flickering over to the book on your nightstand. You tried to read it earlier but the migraine you’d been battling all day made it difficult to keep your eyes focused for too long even just to read a couple of lines.

It seemed Katsuki noticed how you glanced over and he lightly tapped your leg as he stood up reading your mind, “okay, scoot over. If I’m gonna read I ought to be comfy.” Although he practically grunted out the sentence, you happily shifted over more and helped hold up the blankets as he moved in beside you. You immediately closed your arm back over his torso and rested your head on his chest as he flicked open the book to the page you’d left on last. Katsuki was an excellent reader — oddly devoted to the characters and invested in the plot, as well as giving out random commentary and pausing at the right moments — as you both heaved a sigh at secondhand embarrassment or whatever overwhelming sense that took over from the characters actions. So you sat the rest of the afternoon sharing sips of your water bottle with Katsuki as he flipped the crisp pages of the new book in the series you were reading. And your eyes flicked from his ruby reds that were scanning the pages, to the cherry mocha of your nails, to thinking of the similiar and slightly ironic shade of blood that you were leaking right now.

#mysteriesmusing #bakugou katsuki #bakugou fluff #bakugou x reader #bakugou drabble #katsuki bakugou #totally inspired by my period and low key my Pinterest board #I want to go out and get that nail polish so bad bc it looks so classy!! But like I live in a small town and I doubt the stores have it #I’ll probably have to order it but it’s such a nice color it’s worth it #Also obsessed with the first book of the Jade City trilogy by Fonda Lee. I LOVE IT SOO MUCH 😍 #I’m almost done (slow reader) and I’ve already got the other two. Idk when the last time I loved a book this much was tbh #tw blo0d #period mention

[dig-them-up-comic]

1.1

(Click for quality)

#bad blood #bastille #bastille dan #webcomic #dig them up comic #greetings from coney island #fun fact this is the first page i did almost exactly a year ago #this is also the last time he’ll look sort of realistic im not about that #king of 1. not being able to outrun a car 2. just being sort of :/ about everything that happens to him #mostly bc he doesnt know what going on yet not bc i cant do other expressions

[northern-passage]

i got a few more nice asks i'm not going to publish them all and flood people's dashes but if you sent me one: thank you!!! i appreciate you and your understanding and i thank you for giving me the space to stretch my creative muscles, so to speak :-)

i mentioned on my other blog and around but my focus for the next few months will be blood choke and tnp, with my nanowrimo plans exclusively being to finish the blackwater route. im hoping to get a decent amount of blood choke ch3 done this week (if not finish it... dare i hope...) and once that's done i'll be shifting into tnp mode. thanks for your patience and if the stars align we might have more tnp sooner rather than later

#the end of this chapter is just. SO complicated. my brain.... hurts.... #but i am going to do my best to grind like i did last year in november/december and crank it out #not going to set a solid deadline bc im bad at that but still want to share my plans #i am. Hopeful #if i say it enough times i have to do it. lmfao #i know once i drag myself into tnp ch3 i will be able to pickup the pace #again it's just that the end of ch2 is SO convoluted. but. i will beat it into submission #and blood choke is almost there as well i just got distracted playing bg3 and now coral island . gamer moment #personal

[soldier-poet-king]

Ya girl is the kind of dumb of ass idiot who is like, now that the big scary interview is over, is like...oh god what if I DO get the job? It's smthn I want and would be good at etc etc etc but also it would be a lot more work than my current position where I'm, lbr, fucking around out of boredom alot. I'd have REAL responsibilities! Actual challenges! Unions! Benefits! Better pay so I can move out! Way more professional development and experience opportunities but also way more areas to fuck up by being part of a bigger team and part of a significantly larger institution. Like. What if I am stupid and dumb and crack under the stress or my attention span gets bad and suddenly I'm incapable of doing the work, despite it being smthn I /want/

Ofc this is entirely hypothetical, esp bc I'm rethinking everything I said today and beating myself up about how much better I couldve answered xyz questions, the usual post interview anxiety, and I won't find out abt this job til the new year and part of me is like oh I've got it in the bag and part of me is like well ofc you fucked up and aren't gonna get it

#AHHHHHHHHH #the duality of fran #i am. going to say vespers. read. go to bed #i think i just need to chill tf out #thank god its almost christmas and i have some time off #the last few weeks have just been. go go go. between my cousins sudden death and the funeral and work stuff and this interview #and just. it being dark and miserable and im already feeling bad abt life bc its december #gah. i need sleep

[hamartia-grander]

Jesus fucking christ I hate the US south

#Cw gun mention I guess #I was feeling super nauseous so I went into the kitchen to get ritz crackers #And we're at my grandma's rn for Christmas and she has windows in the kitchen that look out at the road/other houses #And NO curtains or blinds because she's old #And anyway I turned a small light on so I could see the crackers and I hear a fucking man outside shout “WHO'S OUT THERE” #In the heaviest southern accent. Mind you every fucking person in this area has a gun bc there's lots of trees with squirreld they shoot #And logically now that I am calming down I know it was just a bad coincidence and he was probably yelling at smthn in his yard #But jesus fucking christ I felt such immediate intense fear my head went cold #Ran to my baby brother's room bc I was certain someone was gonna come kill us #Then the rationality took over and I just told my mom about it. But now I'm sitting outside his room eating crackers bc I'm fucking paranoid #It is almost 4am and I haven't slept a wink I cannot do this rn #But literally the last time I went for a walk around here my dad told me not to go alone and also not to say anything stupid #And also stay far away from houses bc I could get myself shot #Literally what the fuck is this. #“Afearican” except I'm still very much in the US #Not to mention almost every fucking house has a blue lives matter flag and some have isr*el flags now too like #I fuuuuucking hate it here

[skoulsons]

oh man this scene. i don’t know I can’t stop thinking about it.

He’s exhausted. They gave him the wrong size headers at work, he forget their cake, and he’s home an hour late. But, he’s home. And he gets to be present with Sarah and enjoy the rest of their night, and what’s left of his birthday, together (well until Tommy calls him in an hour) Side note-Joel being excited about her getting him a present had me thinking he doesn’t earn a lot. That he just gets enough to allow them to get by. Now, this is ‘03 and he’s a carpenter. I don’t know what their pay would be back then, but I imagine it wasn’t too too much. At least, not enough for a lot of extra for gifts for Christmas or birthdays. Maybe this is a terrible assumption, but it’s my two cents

But after long day he just gets to be with her. There’s probably been some nights he’s come home and she’s asleep already and he stays up for a while watching tv or doing taxes or something. By himself. Maybe he’ll slip into her room and kiss her goodnight, but it’s not the same as a night like this. They get to spend it in each others company, laughing and making jokes.

he jus looks so sweet here :( “because I’m an honest thief” “mmm”

And this. “And you were never gonna do it for yourself, so…” He knows she’s right. He’s a tired dad. A tired, single dad. He can’t do everything. And Sarah’s right, it’s the thought that counts. Something small like fixing his broken watch is non-existent on his list of things he needs to do. But Sarah can tell he needs it, considering how he instinctively slapped his wrist at breakfast. She doesn’t buy him anything new or shiny, just fixes up a broken watch. She helps give him something that he won’t himself

And just gets to relax with a fixed watch, a favorite movie on the television, and his little girl tucked in to his side. Little things that, to him, mean the absolute world. And then some.

And she, inevitably, falls asleep on him and he gets to carry her to bed. Again, something he may not get to do often (and man if I was a dad I’d delight in carrying my kids to bed. I’d cherish every second of it, but maybe that’s just me). Sure he has to go out and bail Tommy out of jail now, but he got a worthwhile hour on his birthday with her

#this is so scrambled it’s almost 3am and I’m in my joelellie thoughts while waiting for bad batch #also I just miss being a little kid with my dad :( #I’d lay on my parents bed and I’d beg my dad to carry me to my room #and he would and we’d get there and he’d do this cute thing #he’d swing me and do a count down #and he’d say 1 #1 1/2 #2 #and so on and so forth and breaking the numbers as little as possible before he hit 3 bc I loved how he swung me #and then when he said 3 he’d throw me on my bed #and of course I always begged him for a second time and he indulged every time #so idk seeing stuff like this kind of gets to me #I just love dads. #I love you dad #and I hope you never ever know this exists #the last of us hbo #joel miller #sarah miller #tlou spoilers

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#sorry im thinking abt death again #because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died #that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from #time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed #i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she #died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way #my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today #for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days #and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt #future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her #last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that #and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving. #sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless #others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club #i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her #stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i #dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my #family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters #probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno. #i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity. #again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a #full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length #unrelated

[songtwo]

idk i think my bf might be developing a drinking problem and i just don’t know what to do…..

#it’s been going on for a couple of months now but he promised he would stop and he had been doing well until today…. #and it’s like. on one hand i never wanted to be w an alcoholic and i told him straight so he promised it would stop #but on the other hand i can’t just abandon him #and it’s like we used to go out a lot and party but like. that was it but ever since he met this guy he just gets lost when he drinks w him #and the thing was he got like aggressive like he didn’t do anything to me and i can’t really explain it but he just wasn’t himself #and like. we talked about it a million times and it’s not like it happens every week #it’s been like 5 times since december #but 3 have been on the past month alone #and two weeks ago it got bad like he almost got into an accident #and like i’m not even physically w him anymore like we really only see each other once a week since i moved #and from the very first time it happened i told him i couldn’t be w him if it kept happening #and after that incident two weeks ago he swore it was the last time but it just happened again #by the way he and that guy get wasted it really is a miracle they get home alive #and like. idk what to do #i really don’t want to be w someone like this #and i hate feeling like this like if i were to think only about myself i don’t want this i hate feeling like this #but i also can’t abandon him #like not even bc i would miss him or whatever i just wouldn’t feel good leaving him alone #but like i don’t want to live like this #maybe i’ll ask for some time to just figure things out #but it’s gonna suck so bad bc we were supposed to see kendrick lamar next week and then we already had plans for his bday and omfg #i don’t wanna leave but i don’t want things to be like this either #and i asked him to stop and gave him multiple chances but idk #i just don’t know what to do #i love him endlessly but i need to put myself first but i can’t abandon him:( #and our 1.5 anniversary was also next week….. #but i think time is the sanest and safest thing right now

[coollyinterferes]

"Back by unpopular demand:"

"Us!"

#[*trips and falls to the ground like that one pepe frog meme but dramatically explodes into a million pieces instead* hi hi] #[i'll start by apologizing and thanking y'all for your patience bc wheew its been almost 2 months since my last post holy shittt] #[mental health along with intrusive thoughts and stuff have been absolute ass and still are right now] #[not gonna go into much detail bc i'm dealing with tons of bad stuff and negativity but yeah] #[at this point i aint even going to say 'im back!' bc everytime i do some even more terrible shit happens irl so naw] #[i also can't promise thread replies today bc i already know i'll likely not be able to finish any] #[but i will try to at least start working on some of them ;v;] #[other than that please feel free to send in stuff if you wish!] #[i haven't been around in so long that i feel completely rusty and out of the loop rn] #[but i think i'll start with the few asks i was unable to get to last time] #[if you guys who sent them see this: i'm sorry for the super looooong wait and thank you so much for your patience!!! <3] #[hope everyone's having a lovely day/night!!! <3] #;ic #(? #;ooc #(?? #[the world will never truly know *x files music plays*]

[daydadahlias]

i thought you said you’d never go to a show?

i did say that! Because I never really planned to go for a vast variety of reasons, including but not limited to the fact that I’m super light and sound sensitive and have chronic migraines so the last concerts I’ve gone to have absolutely knocked me on my ass. There’s also the matter of cost, and travel, and the terrifying amount of people that go to shows. There were lots of reasons I never wanted to go to one. And I’d also set the precedent of being like “I’m never going to a show 😤” so I also really feared getting asks like this one if I ever went 😌

But, a couple of weeks ago, I was on TikTok watching 5sos videos (as one does ofc) and it came to a video of Carousel live and it just kind of hit me like a brick out of nowhere that I might die never having seen my favorite band and it was really scary. So I obviously got really dramatic and in my head about it and cried to my mom for like three hours. Buying tickets was kind of a split second decision (because there was definitely a lot of panicking about if it was the wrong idea for me or not). But I texted two friends and was like,, “I think I wanna see 5sos” which for me was a really big deal. And they went (very pressure free ofc) “u should” so the next day I bought tickets (and cried 😌 bc im a drama queen). I bought them late and I got lawn seats so they weren’t too expensive!! And my irl bestie hyped me about the venue because it’s outdoor and the sound won’t be so overwhelming and blah blah blah but I got myself some loop earplugs for the sound and brought some tinted sunglasses for the lights 🤓

And I have spent the entire last week absolutely petrified of going to this show lmfao 💙 it has been rough 💙 But I survived, I didn’t get a migraine, and there were only a couple times the lights were too much so I just shut my eyes. And I actually took out my earplugs after a few songs and was like “the migraine will be worth it.” But I didn’t even have one! And I bounced around as best I could and sang all the words to all the songs. And then obviously cried a bunch, that’s a given (which is also embarrassing because like why are you crying to don’t stop). And I also screamed when I realized Ashton took off his vest and it scared the friend I was with hehe.

So all that to say: yeah!! I did say that!! But I changed my mind. And I’m really glad I did!!

#yeah I was kind of worried I’d hate the show 😀 #hence why I didn’t tell anyone I was going 💅 #bc I was like oh gosh if I go to this show and have a bad time it’ll be like. bad #so i only told a few friends (the chosen few) #and then instagram like last week #and there’s been so many Things that have been happening in relationship to this show guys it’s been rough ahdjjsjs #but I went #and it was like. the best night of my life a little bit #not fully but almost #pigeon #anon #yikes sorry I wrote a jessay about this

[luvsavos]

random vent(?) in the tags, feel free to ignore i just have a lot of pent up emotions to get out today apparently

#mar.txt #it's weird being aro(?) and yet also longing for a relationship. maybe its just bc almost all of my friends are in one #maybe it's bc of how easily jealous i get #maybe its the fact that i'm constantly being reminded that i am nobody's most important person. there's always someone more important. #maybe it's just the all-consuming，gaping hole of loneliness within me #idk. #i don't even know if i AM actually aro or if i'm just so demi that i may as well be aro or if ive just had so many bad experiences that it #feels impossible for me to feel romantic attraction #a few of my ocs (shara and the alatreon) are how i think i'd describe myself; aro，but willing to be in a relationship provided the other #person isn't bothered by them being aro，bc they have their own equivalent to romantic feelings #i know i'll never have one though. for all my confidence and whatnot i still very much am insecure about my own loveability. because the #only thing life has shown me is that i very much am not loveable. all the way back in first grade ppl were already using me instead of #actually caring #'dating' me to make someone else jealous. so they could have a drug buddie. a fuck buddie. so they could try to manipulate me into things #because i was a young teenager desperate for validation and to feel like i mattered and belonged and they were nearly adults who knew they #could exploit that. i'm surprised i never had anything happen to me beyond being pressured into trying chew tobacco (awful and disgusting) #and doing it every time i was around my 'boyfriend' and his friends #the only two genuine relationships i had didn't last either; one lost feelings after three years and the other just sorta stopped talking to #me and iirc eventually picked up a boyfriend that was actually local instead of long distance #i am not worthy of love. i will never be loved in the way that my friends are. hell i won't ever even find a qpp(?). and that makes me sad. #to know i will always be alone. that i'm destined to die alone. but it is what it is i guess. i just wish it didn't bother me so much. #i wish i could be content in my loneliness and not be jealous of everyone around me. i wish i could accept that i will never be anybody's #most important person. that the only person i can or will ever be the most important to is myself. self love，yeah? ha. #maybe 2024 will have something in store for me. god i hope it does. but i doubt it will. more of my friends will get into relationships， #those already in them will stay in them and/or take a step forward in their relationship. and i will remain alone. just as i always have. #anyways. sorry vent over i'm just. ugh. upset today. emotions are stupid and i want a refund on them. i did not ask to be saddled with the #burden of feeling such intense，suffocating displacement and loneliness. i did not ask to feel these negative emotions so strongly. #i just want to be someone's most important person. i just want to matter.

[asshuka]

the year transition umi returns!!! whoa!!!!! it’s the tea party set!

patreon | kofi | commissions | more linkz

just realized the doodles aren’t very well categorized on my blog so. previous umis under the cut

2015 -> 2016

2016 -> 2017

2017 -> 2018

2018 -> 2019

2019 -> 2020 i tried to draw a bunch of characters who are close to my heart and intended to end with umi but i became too physically unwell to finish

2020 -> 2021

2021 -> 2022 There Was A Darkness Growing Within Me.

2022 -> 2023 HERE!

#love live! #love live! school idol project #sonoda umi #umi sonoda #colored #artwork #2022 #this was actually started almost a week before dec 31st bc i just finished neru and still had a lot of drive #man looking at these umis makes me realize just how Much (time and stuff) i've gone through. it's felt like the same year since 2020 #actually it started getting real bad in 2021 and continued into 2022 but i think. i hope things are changing for the better o.o #also idr why i drew 2 whole umis for 2016 -> 2017 but that balances out for the missing umi thnak u past me. #i might make this the last art piece i post on twitter i'll think about it #either way i think quite a few of my active followers from twitter are here now so thanks y'all for the years!! <3 #with how bad things have been i'm consciously making efforts to find meaning in making art again i am doing my besto #let's do our best in 2023 too!!!!

[bsaka7]

every time i buy new running shoes im like oh i won't get the brooks adrenaline I'll try something new (<- guy who has had basically every moderate stability running shoe on the market) and then i try on a couple of others and im like yep. getting the brooks again.

#I will say i don't like the 23 as much as the 22 #And I think there's one in like the last 9yrs I've skipped... Maybe like 20 or smth like that #The 19 was my fav like Brooks just bring it back 😭 #Ok technically it's every OTHER time i buy running shoes bc i usually have one pair of Brooks and one pair of something else #though they're both workhorse trainers i never have a speed shoe #i was almost swayed by the saucony guide today but they didn't have the arch support i wanted and i didn't want to buy new inserts #bc im trying to be DONE with inserts #Since they discontinued the ones I used which were like the lightest additional amount of support #And I've had no trouble without em in the last year #So maybe this is stupid of me. But I'll do my hip exercises and knock on wood #Tetrapod runs #Also my feet were feeling picky today... Idk if it was #Cuz it was post run or what #Literally ran in my old destroyed brooks today and I was like this sucks so bad -> buys new shoes #Oh I haven't had the NB equivalent shoe. Or the hoka or the altra. BUT I'VE HAD ALL THE OTHERS.