#bc like at very least id be able to try to do some work on the fixerupper bow

[starrysharks]

ive sent like 20 asks to you atp but i really love ur art soooo so so so much like ur like my biggest inspiration fr like seriously i could blab all day abt how much i love your art and your arts almost singlehandedly motivated me to start working on shape language more bc i think thats like the key part of your art (to me at least) and youre like the true embodiment of "same face syndrome fears me" but like fr because all your ocs are so distinct and unique

do you have any tips on creating unique silhouettes / just general character design tips?? also id love to hear abt how your use of shapes and shape language evolved over time if ur fine sharing that!!

ok this is literally the sweetest ask ever like first off thank you so much ;_; i'm glad i was able 2 inspire you!!!

for me if you look at my old art there's little to no focus on shape language cuz i wanted to express a 'pointy' animeish style. examples are from 2020, 2021 respectively

as you can see i did NOT flip my canvas and my art was samey as hell,,, but in 2021 i started going for softer colors and shapes rather than points and spikes and brighter shapes. but, if you were to look through all of my art from either era, you'd see it's identical cuz i didn't care for shape language. this went on for quite a while :,)

then i discovered worlds end club in late 2021 and everything changed !!! i watched playthroughs cuz i didn't have a means to play at the time, and decided on making my artstyle a blend of cartoony and animeish - which ended up in choosing more expensive silhouettes and faces in turn

honestly i'm too tired to actually chronicle my artstyle change so i'll just skip to late 2022 in this timeline, sorry 😭

so by now has my artstyle evolved into aomwthing super cool n expressive ? no actually i think my art got worse in late 2022

as you can see, my colors got super washed out and i didn't really take risks, i guess? but i was finally starting to come into my own in terms of artstyle and was finally acknowledging shape language a little bit.

very early 2023 is the same, so let's skip to the one thing that changed my artstyle - the big 8 lineups

suddenly everybody was like 'wow your shapes are so good!!!' this was because i had tried to challenge myself with character design in these drawings. so i tried to emphasise interesting shapes more - using a technique where i'd just take an interesting shape or line that corresponded with a character's personality and repeating it as much as i could across the design.

like this deep cut art, where i tried to 'dial up'their already exaggerated shapes and design aspects (such as making frye's pants sag more or changing up shiv's hair. big man is perfect and needs no changes)

but this journey is still not over because a few months ago i rewatched all of panty and stocking and watched clone high for the first time, and both of these shows emphasise shapes a LOT in their designs, and i picked those up. here's art from a few months ago - in short, i tried to find the 'focal point' of the design, something that set it apart from other designs with similar body types or clothing, and built around that, if it makes sense? here's some art that i think expresses that well

comparing the new quintet art to the old one, i think you can also see that i started to try and use different body shapes and shapes in general (such as clyde having a more triangular build ig) . and tumblr doesn't let me add more pictures so this is where the overview ends !

my advice is - watch and rewatch anything that might inspire you, because it has the ability to push you in the right direction. for technical tips, id say -

draw different body types and age ranges (often times same face syndrome is born from only drawing the same age range, usually 15-20 for most sufferers)

play around with style - do you want a more western inspired style or something more akin to modern anime ? maybe something entirely different! try drawing in different styles that you like and see which ones stick

research fashion if only a little bit - it can help understand visually pleasing silhouettes (such as the famous big jacket or big pants silhouettes)

speaking of big jacket or big pants, contrast is key !!! top or bottom heavy designs are an easy way to express personality and an expressive silhouette ig

ummm thaz it ithink. once again thank you for your kind words and remember to take advice from multiple artists im just one guy!! i hope anything in here helped or was at least interesting to read

#ask zeno #zeno's art #long post #old art

[dampsleeves]

life update :3 (a little vent-y)

sooo, been over 200 days since the house caught fire and we had to move. obviously, a lot of stuff's been happening. can't go into deep details for fear of someone I don't want to find this, finding this, but I'll say this much: FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've very rarely mentioned family on here (for obvious reasons - this account is NOT made for that lol) but here goes. tw for pretty heavy topics: mentions of abuse, father issues, health issues, transphobia & financial issues. I turned 18 Feb 21st, literally just almost 2 months before the damn house caught fire. Meanwhile, my brother's still a minor. MEANING, I narrowly escaped the custody battle my mom & dad are in. But unfortunately, he's still stuck in the middle of it. :( My pops was not really the nicest person to me when I was a kid -

whooping my ass whenever I did anything wrong, no matter how minor the offense was.

Telling me that he loved God more than he loved me, because "You're God's gift to me. God is the one who gave you to me in the first place," when I was four.

Telling me that if I didn't start being ok with receiving physical affection from family - which he knew made me uncomfortable - I was "going to grow up to be a S3R1AL K1LL3R" (yes he said that.)

Telling me that "God doesn't make mistakes," and that he "made me into a beautiful young woman for a reason" after I came out to him personally at 14 - big mistake 0/10 stars, would never do again. You get the idea. And those are the tame examples I could think of. So, I finally cut him off. As soon as my mom, brother, & I were in our new place, I blocked his number and haven't talked to him since. I was sick of him not respecting my boundaries, and repeatedly demonstrating that he thought of me as nothing more than a possession. Tired of him making me feel crazy all the time too. But now he's fucking with my mom & brother. Intentionally not paying child support till the last minute possible - & then making it in as small of payments at a time as he possibly can (yes he can afford it btw.) Trying to force my brother to go over to his place, even when my brother does NOT want to - which has begun giving my brother psychological issues & issues with school, mirroring the ones I used to struggle with bc of that bastard. My mom is juggling all sorts of things, & I really at least wanna try to help financially by getting a job, but I can't yet because: she says that I'm only 18, & shouldn't have to get a job to help out (I disagree.) I don't have an ID bc she wants me to wait on my legal name change - which costs a pretty decent chunk of change - reason is bc she "wants me to have as easy an early adulthood life as possible" (love her.) AND, I haven't actually graduated - No, I dipped in 11th bc school was hell (not exaggerating,) & instead just decided to pursue a GED, that I haven't been able to work towards bc of the shit show that is life in midwestern america. So I've been very depressed, exhausted, & hopeless. The least I can do is clean up our house while she's at work, & get this - some days I don't even have the physical energy to do THAT! I do not know what the hell is wrong with my body currently, but it absolutely sucks. & I'm really tired of just taking up space all the time. She's dealing with health issues too, & I'm always worried ab her. Idk what the hell to do, but something's gotta give. Everybody needs a fucking break. I keep trying to shoo away all the dark thoughts, push myself as often as possible, & keep my fingers crossed, but jfc... Sorry just needed to yell into the void for a sec. I'll live, I'm sure - I've survived worse. Sometimes things just suck. But I like to think that someday they won't. :,)

#spiidervent #not snz #venting :3 #feel free to ignore this if you dont wanna hear me bitch and moan

[thesmutalorian]

Yeah  they made the feral predator way too hot. The credits came on and I immediately went to Ao3 like “let’s see what the girlies have to say about thissssss” 🤭 I saw the original predator almost a decade ago and as much as I liked it, never would of guessed I’d be here now 🙂

 the ooman shit kills me, like why do they have these scary ass aliens saying such silly shit I’m gonna die. 

Turns ouuuuut, I actually have more to sayyyyy, but you don’t have to respond: I feel bad bc I don’t have an Ao3 account so I can never comment, but Gorl if I did, id have a whole essay for every chapter, including reaction images 😤. Ik you aren’t currently writing from Ta'Kesh’s POV (which is perfectly fine lol), but I really appreciated how you did so. The predator POV is so fun to read, they’re just so damn cold and pragmatic and just ALIEN yk? (Ta’kesh makes me laugh bc he’s such a lil psycho lol). At least when done right I think. The dynamic you have set up is really interesting, like I love a good slow burn enemies to friends to lovers, but the cultural differences and species hierarchy sets it up for some really fascinating (JUICY) interactions/character development. I was unfortunate enough to come upon your story very early, there aren’t many other fics that hold up to the standard you set! (Have you read The Devil You Know? One of the only other quality fics I’ve found that seems to accurately portray that sort of dynamic- 10/10 recommend). 

But anyway, the arrogance, the entitlement, just the cold bluntness makes predator fic so engaging to me. When you take a person with that deeply ingrained of a mindset (that’s another aspect I love, the question of whether or not yautjas are innately “predatory” or if it’s largely due to cultural upbringing) and force them to interact with with someone they deem inferior in a way they never have had to before (and there was only ONE BED heheh) I’m eating that shit up with 2 hands like GOOD SOUP!!😤😤😤

 I appreciate it even more with a quality OC and I like Charlie a lot. I really struggle with reader/you fics bc beyond me just being like “lol I would not do that”, I like having an established character to root for :). She has an interesting past that you’ve managed to portray in an appealing and unostentatious way. Reminds me of Rust cohle from True Detective.  I like that she’s very brave, but not to the point of ridiculousness lol. She has her moments where she’s able to act courageously in order to try to survive, but still gets intimidated/scared (extremely valid) sometimes with the big ass scary aliens. Do you have anyone in mind for how she looks?

Some highlights so far:

Greatly enjoyed ta’kesh’s cringe fail lake venture where Charlie showed his ass up while he fucking stands in the background looking like a drowned ass rat ahahah but watching her Commit Violence like 👀

Idk why but aliens using bidets is so fucking funny to me

Kinda living for ta’kesh being a dork and talking to his cat all the time hehe

let me see what the girlies have to sayyyyy 👏🏼 absolutely the correct response. my friend and I stand by that alien v predator could've been entirely more romantic if they were brave enough but 🤪 no cause literallyyyyy when I read ooman I hear it in a baby voice and I canNOT take it seriously, like bless those authors truly but whoever started the ooman precedent.... I just wanna talk 🧍🏻‍♀️ and girly pop ofc I'm gonna respond you took the time to let me know how you feel and I /love/ interaction okay (I think there's a way to comment anon on ao3 with like a guest account or name or something but maybe I'm wrong idk) but either way you take the time I want to show my appreciation

I stopped his POV just cause I felt like I was backtracking and I'm already so slow (rip sorry) but I really do want to come back to it in the future just to have fun revealing his inner workings (cause sometimes I be writing things and giggling like pookie is such a brat and then I remember y'all can't hear the goofy ass voices in my head and you only know the story I show you) but yes yes their differences are gonna play out in so many ways that I just can't wait for 😇 AND YES IVE READ FRIGGY one of the few I made it all the way through and then had to literally have a whole moment to process that there wasn't a second part 😗😗 sick I tell you, sick,, but I completely understand the not being able to read FPOV or self insert because of the "ummm I would never" --- because that's EXACTLY how I started writing 💀😭 I was chatting w my friend and we were like ok but isn't it kinda weird how fast some of these fmc just like... accept the whole ass murder crab men? also--- how do they survive well in space and from there Charlie was born ahahahHA I was like ok but what if I made it realistic for bits (as realistic as scifi can be) and then asked people to suspend their disbelief for the fun bits like the space pond and the tail n shit 🤭🤭

I have a whole board of art for ta'kesh but I've never really stopped to think about Charlie 🧐🧐

YES DROWNED RAT IS SOOOOO RIGHT mans really does have an ego, which, like rightfully earned? but also... must be checked whenever author feels he needs it (all the time 😇)

the bidet was me being like what is something that isn't necessarily commonplace, but feels bougie enough that an advanced society would have it regularly around.... ah yes.... Bidet.

ta'kesh is a cat girl, confirmed

I promise to bring you more good soup in the future 🍲

#ao3 #yautja #answered #close quarters #fanfic

[wh00pwh00p]

@glupiypryanik THIS IS FOR YOU (n also a great excuse to info dump about my babies)

so i have technically 5 OC worlds (minus dnd characters), i say technically 5 because i post like 4 of them here??? the other one is mainly written so i dont have a lot of art of them. but i also have ideas for how id love to present these worlds in the future..... like making some into shows or comics (i probably wont ever do that bc time but one can dream)

im ganna cover them one world at a time from least to most info??? i think?? its a long one.... much longer than i thought.... (i might just keep adding as characters get more info n stuff)

Nova & Circus (doesn't have an actual name yet) :

Nova and circus are roommates n live in a world which is like a near future with lots of built up places heavily based on cities like Tokyo, Seoul, New York and LA in there too. very entertainment industry heavy. Nova is an Idol (i specifically draw from the aesthetics of J-pop idols and a little from K-pop idols) she is very busy all the time which leads to her being very tired when shes not doing work. she also very much enjoys her work and is relatively popular. Circus is a streamer but does like live radio type streams, he used to be a DJ and producer before he started his own thing and now he also helps produce some of Novas music. hes much better at doing his own thing and he doesnt work well with like strict schedules and such. do they have to live together? no, they both make more than enough to live separately and be pretty well off. are they living together because they are dating? maybe but dating is taken very seriously within the Idol scene and it could cause problems for both of them if they were dating, which they are definitely not doing (/s)

Heavens Finest :

oh Delilah. Heaven in this universe isn't somewhere for the dead but more so a place for angels, these angels have a normal working society where everyone is delegated jobs. Delilah was delegated the job of a guardian angel, guardian angels in this universe are the beings that give you a sense of safety, they are the beings that give you the impulse to look before crossing the road or to watch your step. Delilah is horrifically bad at this (partially on purpose). everyone Delilah is sent to keep safe dies within 2-3 business days because she's either gotten to work late or was far too preoccupied doing literally anything else than her job. however shes also the queen of weaponised incompetence, every time her boss threatens to move her to another sector she happily reminds them that she will screw up anything, anywhere, anytime and out of pure fear theyve had to keep her on. as Delilahs story continues her boss gives her an ultimatum: If the next person she guards dies within a week they will let her go. Delilah happily accepts however what she doesnt realise is that shes been assigned the stupidest yet seemingly invincible guy who just. wont. die. her story evolves from her passively letting people die to her straight up trying to kill this guy within a week.

Bp&I :

this universe is a pretty normal modern world filled with halloween monsters. Skeletons, ghosts, vampires, werewolves, think of any classic scary monster n they are here. the main groups (the biggest groups) are: werewolves, vampires, skeletons, witches, zombies, demons, ghosts, sirens and ogres. sometimes (like a 1/1000 chance) a monster can have a seconds supernatural ability, these can be anything from turning invisible to being able to speak to cats. this universe exists alongside our own, for some this is their afterlife and for others our universe is a source of food (especially for vampires and sirens). another big part of this universe are the Fighting Tournaments. every month has a tournament on the last week of the month. these tournaments consist of one race (eg: an entire vampire tournament, an entire ghost tournament so on so on) this is primarily to do with the fact that some races are less or more effected by other races (eg: ghosts cant really be touched by non ghosts unless the ghost puts energy into being a physical thing and this also effects them using objects and such or vampires are more vulnerable to things like fire but demons are immune). these tornaments give non ranked fighters the ability to enter the ranked places. once a year their is a 'Ranked only' tournament which takes place over most of the month where the top 10 from each race compete to take each others rank. Rank 0s are the highest ranks and essentially run the world. Bloodpact is a vampire who also has the supernatural ability of a necromancer, shes able to bring back people she has drank from to act as undead slaves. Bp holds the 3rd spot within the vampire ranks, shes known for having an energetic and deeply chaotic personality and fighting style. her main weapon is a harley quin-esque hammer. Ink could not be further from Bp if they tried. Bp essentially picked Ink of the street to be their mentor. Ink is a ghost with the ability to shapeshift and has always wanted to be a high rank fighter after waking up here after dying. Ink is extremely chill n mildly worried about Bps caffeine addiction.

tbt the best way i can describe these two is 'Autism n ADHD solidarity' Bp may be Inks mentor but i think ink is objectively more responsible. Bp does also have a manager to keep her (and now Ink) on track in their activities.

The Bastards :

the name sounds mean but trust me they deserve it.

this story takes place on a planet which is made up of a single planet which is mainly desert but has some very large interconnected cities and towns within large bubble like structures which create almost fake environments. they can produce different types of weather and grow crops within them. however people do live outside of these bubbles, in the desert areas. this is a modern fantasy-esque space setting (a lot ik) think like Coruscant from star wars mixed with the envoriment in the Darling in the Franxx enviroment. large pockets of perfect land and infrastructure held within localised stationary domes the capability to mimic different enviroments and weather.

this is a rough idea of what its probably laid out like:

the agriculture domes are the least populated, dominated by fields and farms. these farms are able to produce most types of vegetation and can produce enough food for the vast majority of the planet.

main cities and sub cities have very high population densities (like i said think coruscant) minor cities are like the usual cities we have (think new york and london) the towns are less dense more like large sub urbs.

the smallest domes are either villages or business quarters.

the small red cubes/rectangles are settlements outside of the domes, these houses may seem to be of lower quality than the ones in the dome but theyre just much older and built for the desert conditions.

there is one main intergalactic ship dock far from the main urban areas however some of the outer dome settlements have their own landing zones for their own ships or to get deliveries

talon lives outside of the domes, he and his dad run a ranch with a focus in raising and breeding the older more traditional native breeds.

Heartstopper lives in the main city in a relatively nice penthouse gifted to her by her parents before they disowned her

cat scratch lives in the main city in a dingy basement apartment in the....not so nice parts of the main city Cat Scratch, Talon and Heartstopper all despise each other.

(arrows pointing to someone is why they hate the person its pointing to, it was just far easier to put into a diagram.)

all three of them have become bounty hunters due to life circumstances and had a pretty bad kill on sight mentality towards each other however one day they are essentially arrested and given the choice to either go to jail for the rest of their lives or become a unit to fight more dangerous crime groups. as much as they all hate each other they all hated the idea of prison more.

now these characters are supposed to be bad people however i wanted to build them in a way that gave them stories which are just bad life circumstances or events and essentially what would happen if people neglect the fact that they are deeply effected by these things and continue to bottle it up and ignore it instead of... yk.... going to therapy. just keep this in mind as i explain them.

Cat Scratch was orphaned at a very young age, never stayed in one place for long and was always bouncing homes or families. all this contributed to them harbouring a pretty strong hatred towards the world, they blamed other people their entire life, never trusted anyone and became just very violent as an outcome. as previously mentioned they were bullied during school pretty heavily by talon n his group of goons TM which onl;y made this worse as she then had to physically fight these people. as they grew up they met new people, they met heartstopper (though she wasnt heartstopper then) and a guy who they both fell for. cat scratch believed they should have him and they did get him eventually even if it did destroy their friendship with heartstopper and required a few extra steps. this didnt last long however and eventually Cat Scratch had to make it by themselves... again. they turned to bounty hunting as it was profitable enough to keep them off the streets and... a good way to get some anger out...even if it was pretty violent.

Heartstopper had a pretty good upbringing, her family was upper class and were relatively wealthy and yes maybe she had to fight for attention sometimes between her and her multiple siblings but it was never bad. she always had a knack for lying though, just little white lies here and there and pocketing a couple small things here and there (only a stick of gum or a lipstick here and there). she grew up got a good education, great grades and eventually a good job with even better money and met new people. she met cat scratch and a guy they both fell for. heartstopper knew they both had the same feeling but he obviously chose her and she hoped that cat scratch understood that. a little bit later and they were engaged and happy. only what was supposed to be the happiest day of her life became the beginning of the end. he never turned up. not only did he never turn up but no less than a week later sensitive private images, videos, messages were suddenly not so private. the emails to her work, the lies within these emails lined with sensitive content were the final straw. her family had turned their backs on her, her job had let her go and frankly she had nothing else. these things were her life. she had no money, no life and no aspirations so she said fuck it and became a bounty hunter... a much less violent one but a snake in long grass type. if lies were so easily spread about her, then why not everyone else.

Talon would tell you he had a normal upbringing, he didnt. hid mother left when he was very young and has only ever lived with his dad on their ranch. talons dad isnt exactly a good person, pretty horrible honestly, a notorious bigot but talon didnt see that at the end of the day he was his dad and that was all he had. par a few animals and his bird, rogue, obviously. talon knew he was different. not really because of his physical appearance, horns n tails were rather common at his school but inwardly he was conscious about something. it annoyed him when he saw people who were seemingly comfortable in their skin and cat scratch was one of them. it annoyed him that they would walk around as if they had nothing to lose, how theyd look at others with disgust as if they felt like they were above others. one day he and his friends, admittedly, got a little too rough. turned out this cat has much sharper claws than they thought. the next thing talon was aware of was lightning like pain stemming from his spine and the fact that it ceased as soon as he screamed in pain as if they realised he was awake and stopped. after the pain he realised he couldnt notice anything else, he couldnt see anything else. later hed be told his eyesight was unrecoverable and that his previously tan complexion and brunette hair were now stark white and his horns and spines a silver colour. as shit as it is to loose your eyes you get used to it, you find other means of navigating, for talon it was rogue. like a guide bird if you will. she even helped with using firearms, some things were off the table but if he could set up a place to camp out rogue helped with aiming and guiding him on where to shoot through sound or touch. as talon grew up he learned to ignore the feeling that he was different, as his dad grew old he took on more responsibilities around the ranch and just didnt have time to think about it anymore. money got tight a couple times and talon decided he needed to pick up a side hustle... a bounty hunter would probably make just enough.

as the story of the bastards develops they learn to trust and understand each other. they learn that at the end of the day theres not much they can do except to strive to be better.

key story moments include cat scratch almost dying due to their own reckless behaviour and having to trust the other members to not let them die and thank them for helping when they could have let them die on the mission, heartstopper fully breaking down on a mission and admits that she barely knows who she is anymore after the others confront her on her lying and manipulation of other people leading to her having to revaluate her life and open up to those around her and talon finally finds out why hes always felt different after meeting cyrus and falling pretty horrifically in love with him over the course of a short stay during a mission and having to recon with the fact that this could destroy everything hes ever known and being backed by the others in accepting himself and what he wants.

these guys are little shits but they get better n i love them, they are definitely the most in depth characters i have along with being the most depressing but i enjoy playing with the nature vs nurture aspect of terrible people yk and how some of them can get better if they only had good friends and/or therapy (dont worry i will send these idiots to therapy once theyve finished their main stories)

if you got this far heres a pic of one of my cats :3

#my silly lil guys #original character #oc #my ocs

[yoiku]

Man, last week... started off optimistic and ended up in the pits kinda.

We made plans for me to join a 15 month course to find fitting job(s) with the aim of going to said jobs and trying them out. Sounds good and is something i am interested in, but after friday all i've been thinking is that maybe it's too much too soon. I'm still thinking if i can manage 3 days of workshop/week instead of 2... so diving into something that can have 4-5x 6hr days/week is making me very anxious and already feeling bad if I end up not having the energy to do it. I think its the main thing that has dropped my mood bc I know that the chances of me getting a part-time job in any of the fields that interest me and are something i could be able to do physically, is pretty nonexistent. All of those fields have severe oversupply of potential workers against the amount available jobs, in the entire country. So the chances of getting employed as someone who doesn't have any substancial studies in the field, isn't able bodied or mentally okay... Lets just say it isnt exactly an encouraging thought. I just feel like no matter what I am entirely useless when it comes to any employment that i feel i could perhaps be able to do. If an able-bodied, neurotypical and socially capable person with a suitable degree can't get a job in those fields, what are my chances? lol. I dunno. Already feels like a failure if I muster up the courage to say that I feel like I've said OK to things that I'm not actually sure about. I'm sure they'll understand if I say i'd rather focus on getting back into 3 workshop days and trying to progress my rights for therapy for now. I don't know. I feel conflicted with my own thoughts. Part of me thinks I should give it a go even if I drop out - id at least be certain that it was too much. But I also know how heavily dropping out from anything hits me mentally, so i am genuinely afraid of seeing the bottom of the pit again. The psychologist at the current evaluation course did say she thinks taking things as slowly as needed is probably the best for me considering everything they've summed up abt me so far. I'll try to talk about it at least.

On a less depressing note, the results from the various psych/neuro tests were partly curious. My mathematical skills being extremely below average wasn't a surprise, lmao! But I found it curious that the one that was the highest above average was linguistic skills, followed by the less surprisingly above average spatial awareness that involved shapes, patterns and other stuff that i think any artistic person would excel at. Accuracy was great but speed was awful, lmao. Overall I scored pretty average on the cognitive side. Worth noting is that I am medicated now and I did take my adhd meds on that day as well, so that likely helped slightly with the accuracy and overall concentration. (a lot of the tests had a time limit) Interesting tests though, and I'm glad it gets written up into my files as well, because it's more proof to the fact that my autism is mostly affecting me on the social side of things. I would be really interested to take the same tests in a busy/noisy environment or with some sort of forced interrupts like someone asking you something entirely different suddenly and see just how much of a disaster that would be trying to get back into focusing on the test tasks then, lol. That's morely likely how things are after all if we think of these tests as a measure of how will you get by in the world of working a job, unless you really have a job where you get to work alone in a perfect environment for yourself. (man i love making art at home)

#shut up yoi

[rottytops]

i definitely think the adhd medication (successfully) rewired my brain and made me seek out long term goals over short term pleasure like i have been literally my entire life so now my current goals are to unfuck my credit to move away from my shitty roomies, get my new car and actually get into an ltr lmao

SUPRISINGLY ENOUGH 2 of these 3 goals are either in progress or very obtainable ive been saving a tunna cash and i can get a new car next month after i get my license renewed and ive found this cute little studio that i can maybe move into if i get help co-signing it, then ill just camp out there until my loans are paid off in 50000 years

the last one though.,,,,its so weird. the like. burning fervor to date someone long term kinda slugged me in the back of the head! ive always WANTED a nice relationship but it was never a PRIORITY to me bc i had video games or whatever. these new feelings made me realize ive been living my life like. entirely for myself which is FINE but my standards for myself (combined with how ADHD made me content with literally anything as long as it was easy) make me like. gutter trash tier as a partner, i think. essentially as i am now, unless the other person is equal parts deranged and shitty, im utterly unlovable which is like. tough tits i guess. but if im honest about it i can at least try to change it. part of me is conflicted; if i have to change myself to become more datable, is the person really dating me, or am i just creating a false persona to get conditional love. its a scary thought but at the same time im not really changing MYSELF past getting in shape and taking care of my skin, its more im giving up on being a dopamine addicted manchild and getting my own apartment. with my own car and stuff...these are actually just completely normal goals to have and i already wanted them i just kinda have new motivation for it lmao!

you cant just force a relationship and theres no way im attracting the hoes to me in my shitty room, so i think i need to??? go??? outside??? and hang out with ppl??? utterly mortifying but when i get my car next month i think i can actually do that. id like to make more irl friends as well, i had a bunch of friends in college so. i guess ill go to more smash locals or something but outside of that sigh sigh i have no idea.

these major revelations have all hit me in like the past 2 weeks, since i started my medication and the dosage was upped, i have a lot of work to do and not that much time to do it, really!!!! i hope i can become someone like. worth keeping around in a few months time...!!! the pieces are there i just need to like, put them together....



i could write a whole thing on how mad i am that it took me so long to get medicated and how fast i became a Normal Person after being on meds but like idk that line of thinking doesnt help anybody...!! i accomplished so much even with my debilitating ADHD and now i can do so much more with a mindset that can actually handle the shit neurotypical people expect me to be able to do, considering how im literally good at everything, combined with how ive managed to survive this long with almost no real help from irl people (seriously ive gotten more assistance from my online friends than literally anybody in my family both financially and emotionally) means that me WITH medication is gonna go absolutely insane. im going to be like ultra rich this time next year, probably LMAO....or at least have a boyfriend AURHUFG



anyway if u read this for some reason i love u and also give me ideas on going out and meeting people, i think i can hold a conversation just fine but where do people even GO. do you guys think ppl at bars or whatever know about disgaea. hmmm.

#ultra long post talking abt me and my new goals since starting medication #you can also read this as me moaning about being single but. shut up.

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

BRIE CMON IM TELLING YOU IM AT LEAST LESS KINKIER THAN MY FRIENDS no bc my online friend also took the test bc i was talking about it to her AND SHE GOT 100% SUBMISSIVE?? like even i didnt get 100% brat so you cannot tell me im kinkier than any of my friends i wont accept it😭 but even my irl admitted that she might be more kinkier than me but she thinks shes also boring if ykw shes trying to say

ill admit im borderline kinky 'makemegetonmykneesputmeinacollarandmakemebarkandcrawl BUT I don't want to eat food out of a bowl on the floor... uh yeah i stand by that' I TOTALLY AGREE like id be okay if he made me get on my knees but i wont eat out of a bowl off the floor BUT IM NOT KINKIER THAN MY FRIENDS I WONT TAKE THIS DISRESPECT

you can remind me to do the bdsm test thing again in a few months bc im not that kinky but tbh i dont even care anymore i js wanna prove im less kinkier than my irl (yes me and her argue 24/7 for absolutely no reason and im okay with being kinky as long as shes kinkier!!!)

but about my sleep😭 whenever i get my period i get like rly sick and i mean REALLY sick like i got my period on tuesday and i litearlly took a nap bc my fever was so bad AND I DONT TAKE NAPS?? THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IVE NAPPED ALL YEAR?? but yeah fevers make me tired and restless so ive been sleeping late and waking up early but the good thing about having a fever is that when i do finally fall asleep i stay asleep😭 but that only works for a few hours but at least i got a few hours of sleep in a row and not broken sleep

pls this was so long i tbh dont even know what im saying anymore😭

small update about the tumblr friend, she doesnt know yet!! im safe for now she hasnt been on tumblr and hasnt seen my asks

- 🤤 anon who is not kinky!!!!!!

Maybe she’s agreeing with you becaUSE she’s submissive… the sub in her wants to be obedient to you maybe 🤔 (JOKING!!!)

HOW CAN YOU AGREE WITH MY COLLAR BARK AND CRAWL THING BUT NOT AGREE YOU ARE KINKY 😭 AT SOME POINT YOU HAVE TO FACE THE FACTS 😭 FACE THE SUN 🤤 ANON

I will remind you to retake the test though 😊

I am so sorry that your periods are that bad that is terrible 😭 I am gld you were able to get some sleep but that is awful terrible I’m so sorry 😭

Also i very much enjoyed the length AS I ALWAYS DO (omg… does size matter….) if you see a doctor maybe that can prescribe you sleep meds! I am on a lot to help me sleep at night actually and it helps a lot

#i’m glad your tumblr friend has not seen them yet… #we remain safe #not to be crazy but i could block them 🤔 #THEN THEY WILL NEVER SEE YOUR ASKS 😂 #b: 🤤 anon who is definitely kinky

[thecherrygod]

i havent been into it for too long but im kinda surprised i havent seen a harrykim good ol classic florist and tattoo artist au

like yeah im not so sure how the logic of either of them being in those proffessions would work but im talking mostly aesthetics here

like. harry being a florist just. does something to me. like when kim is like he needs hobbies if you get the gardening gloves he suggest gardening is just very good. maybe its a bit of like instead of becoming a teacher first hes a florist first and stays there. or when he was a teacher they had some of a garden in there and he learned and then maybe got a part time job at a florist to support him on his teacher salary bc those usually arent enough. also i think he still has at least some of his adiction issues but not necesarily to the in game level (maybe amphetamines to be able to keep up with his lifestyle also maybe he grows weed but less relevant until later). and maybe he actually got to marry dora and is actually divorced here. working too much, not making enough money, and when back at home hes still an addict, maybe the relationship lasted more but still it never got good enough to keep.

and kim... theres a few options. either undercover just being on the tattoo shop somehow which is like. not the most sense making but still a possibility. or.. he never became a cop, either, got too disappoined by the system early on, noticed the injustice, but realized that it didnt matter what he did it wouldnt be enough. or he did join the rcm for a bit and then quit bc of that, maybe also eyes died in here too and that was the last straw for him leaving. maybe hes not necesarily the guy doing the tattoos, but more of the designs and piercings (i assume its a million times easier doing piercings than tattoos. i dont mean that it doesnt require a technique too tho but getting a needle through skin for a piercing seems easier than having the pulse to work on a permanent piece in someones skin with specific pressure with consistence, and if he was a cop and quit maybe he has shakier hands.... idk. i dont know how stuff like this works generally ngl. also idk. can you have a tattoo.. parlor? and do designs but not the tattoos themselves? id assume you can but no idea)

ok yeah something like that maybe. and also the shops are either side by side or right across the street. i can imagine harry walking through the tattoo parlor and looking at the designs and looking at a few plant based designs and liking them and just. going in. not exactly for a tattoo or anything but more to like. know how it is and maybe meet the artist and then he sees kim which i imagine with a lot of tattoos and piercings which is sort of whats fueling this at this point bc i wasnt gonna think about it for too long but now im too deep into it and like i imagine this kim as.. kind of distant as he tends to be, will try to hide the fact he was a cop bc at this point hes not proud of that, he just likes making designs while listening to speedfreaks fm, which you can hear from outside the parlor while walking on the streets, but he is cool, and if you talk to him he will talk to you, hes just maybe awkward but also he is kinda weird (which has harry like 👉👈)

and this was just going to be me saying "man i havent seen any of this" and instead i sort of made my take on it and it got longer than i expected. anyways!!!

#my posts #and for organization #disco elysium #harrykim inked flowers au #that. doesnt mean im gonna actually make it. maybe. maybe. but i dont make promises #i make tags for myself. for my own organization and to find things later #inked flowers is bc i worry if i tag it as florist/tattoo artists au the tag is gonna get weird when i search for it #...... but i am attached to it now #............. i. would anyone believe me if i said this is like the second au ive made in my life lmao #i dont do this a lot bc i usually just see what others do i just make canon art and concepts and maybe post canon stuff #..... yeah. also it got too long lmao #also regarding the weed situation yeah i think harry would grow his own and at some point share with kim sfihsiug #like i think kim still has his one cigarette only and not much else. a bit of alcohol every once in a while and just weed #i think i should properly think about harry in here btw #this is all just placeholder for myself if it ever happens? #...... i think i am in a mood to like. write long posts today and also a lot of tags apparently #like... just rambling udsighsudig anyways. yeah. i love them i wanna think about them

[monster3339]

i thought id share my current process for working out this pattern?

heres what my WIP of draft 4 (well... 4.4. a few false starts ahaha) looks like right now:

long explaination below:

so i plan what im doing row by row. im sure theres ways to do this with a bit more foresight, but im yet to find one, ahaha (at least for a shape this complex).

i draw on the piece as i go to give what im doing a bit of context. this context has very much been informed by previous drafts, for example, the nose being placed on the initial magic ring. i realized that the nose kinda kept naturally ending up there on my drafts, which makes sense! its the thinnest "point" on the front of the face! this has made figuring out where to inc/dec at the start of my draft a lot easier.

speaking of the inc/dec, all those wacky stitch markers are how i plan where to inc/dec in the upcoming round: the blue and yellow signal where to increase (besides the one by the loop. that one marks the start of the round. i just ran out of blue lol), and the purple ones signal where to decrease (they run through the two stitches to be combined).

as for how i decide where to place those signals... welllll thats the tricky part, really. an increase makes the shape wider, while a decrease makes it narrower, and doing neither keeps that area the same width. so if i know an area needs to widen, such as to make the cheeks, i add one or more increases. if an area needs to shrink down a bit, such as to define the jawline, i add at least 1 decrease.

its hard because i really have to think in 3D while i plan? its like making a sculpture out of clay, but only being able to sculpt it using flat cross-sections, front to back.

i did, between drafts, crochet a simple sphere thats approximately the size of the head, just to give me some sort of frame of reference as i go.

i can put my current draft on/beside it and see "oh this bit sticks out too much" or "okay this is as tall as this gets, so dont add any more increases here," etc. its been helpful! i just keep restarting draft 4 bc i keep getting to a certain point in the draft and realizing "ohhhhhh shit i shoulda started increasing earlier in this area, because the slope is too gradual" or "whoops that bit looks a bit boxy," and just deciding to start over while using the previous attempt as a visual reference for where/how to make that change.

heres all my previous draft 4s lol (idk if theyre in order at this point hhfggxf i lost track)

...but yeah. I'll place my markers, write down the directions for the round i just planned as the next step of the pattern in my notebook, then crochet it. if i dont like it, i undo the round, erase it, and try again, using what i just learned from the rejected round. if i like it, i continue onto the next one. sometimes I'll do a few rounds and realize i messed up (or missed a stitch lol) and have to undo/redesign a few at once. though if i notice it way late I'll just start again (see my 4 previous draft 4s lol).

uhhhh yeah! i think thats about it? idk! i hope at least somebody finds this interesting and/or helpful!

id say "back to work" but its after 3:30am and i HAVE to cut myself off soon before i end up getting like 4 hours of sleep lmao.

deuces ✌

#my art #wip #fiber art #crochet #crochet pattern

[cl00udyyanan]

libra x scara 🥺🙏🏻 or capitano or dottore (i have... a type 🤭😭)

sorry i cant do capitano or dottore well but ill def give you my best scara!

im just putting this disclaimer here for every response that this should not be taken as serious and some things may or may not be true to you and thats okay! this is simply based off my thoughts and research, of course they'll be a bit off bc i don't actually know you guys lmao, hope you enjoy the read!

capricorn and libra

scara is a capricorn and you're a libra so, you two would be an interesting match... im sorry to burst your bubble in advance. at first i think you guys would be nice in your weird dynamic. you may be a new sight to scara, you seek justice or see the most in people. he's never experienced someone like that before i think he'd be drawn to it.

buutttt when you guys are more invovled and know eachother better it become rocky...

now, you may often worry about how what you do affects others or how it looks to them and scara probably couldn't care any less about others thoughts. so imagine you're tryna do something with him and he's just shutting down all of it for sport, yeah id be pissed too, at the very least i think he'd entertain your ideas for a while.

libras are often very social (whether you are an introvert or not), they can be very kinda to others and will do anything to keep peace. scara will literally shit on all of that, if he feels wronged he'll cause hell if needed (proof archon quest). you may try to work on that with him but i wouldn't expect much he's very stubborn.

on the brighter side! you may be very creative with genius ideas and scara is resilient, he'd do anything to get your guys' plans accomplished and assist you in anyway needed, even if it costs him. you may be an open minded person, willing to give anyone a chance, espcially someone like him. he's very interested in adapting, so he'd be able to loosen up and become more of himself with you.

i think you two would be very trusting of eachother so you guys dont have big fights often. you both have a common ground with eachother and dont step over boundaries, theres mutual respect!

althouugghhh, you are dating a fatui harbinger (this is b4 his transformation ofc) so he very work focused and he is also an emotionless puppet so you guys would not have a very nurturing relationship. doesnt mean you couldnt try though!

in the end this relationship is better off as friendship, there just isn't enough there to be committed like that you two would just grow apart.

compatibility: like 40 if you try hard enough

this is brutal im so sorry 🥲

#genshin impact #genshin fluff #genshin headcanons #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact scenarios #genshin scenarios #genshin x reader #genshin impact fluff #scaramouche x gn reader #genshin scara #scaramouche fluff #scaramouche x reader

[spikeinthepunch]

i have no plans to talk about the Emotional side of this, but the many weeks i have spent with a neuropsych trying to pin down the specifics of my cognitive issues has certainly been interesting, and im gonna detail that below. its made me really realize that alongside my issues, that there is so little understanding in society about the extent of "learning disabilities". even everyone here, every person who sits with the ADHD and autism labels and knows its probably part of their learning issues- the fact that there is probably so much more to it than you can even realize. and most people wont ever have the knowledge of depth to see that, or the proof of tests to see that.

i deeply wish getting this kind of testing but its insanely expensive. like, way WAY expensive. and its super important to get a good doctor for this (any Californians, i would gladly name the guy i am seeing!) but its not accessible at all (this series of tests take like, 6+ weeks but more for me bc i am more than just Learning tests. i am on week 10), which is obviously the main problem. hardly anyone i know will be able to get with kind of depth on Why they struggle. i am in a very privileged position to get to do this. its not bad to sit with labels like ADHD, or just know about your diagnosis of Autism (your Autism wont go away with this. you still have it. you'll just see the specifics, the stems to your problems) is what makes you struggle. this isnt a means to shame people or to say you have to do this in order to get better or get help.

but for me and i assume others, i havent been able to get the right accommodations for anything. society will never try to understand anyone cognitive abilities further and they NEED to make this shit more availble. I tried many things but none of them worked for me, but i also dont know WHY they dont work for me. putting aside the emotional struggles i am also doing in these tests (there is Cognitive testing and Emotional testing- which also makes things more pricey), i have been really really wanting to learn. just Things. it is all i want but I cannot, and the future feels impossible due to that. I try so hard to learn but nothing happens. i want to code, i want to 3D model, i was to up my drawing game, etc etc- even if i went for my assumed "easy" choice (simply production in entertainment) i still struggle to keep it in my head. it always feel like laziness, to sit down at try and then it doesnt stick, and that just makes you feel worse. Still i'd go and learn 3D modelling consistently for a week, but quite literally the moment i looked away from the donut tutorial, i couldnt do it. genuinely everything was lost from my brain. id redo it, i would do the donut tutorial again, but then thats all i could do.

learning with coding is no different, but i try to try very hard because i feel like i know it all "in theory", i look at stuff and i kinda can see what it all means. but right now as i try to learn Narrat, i am very actively seeing how the results of these tests are spelling out the problem. i sit down and look at documents but i cannot take in the reading material, but i see images and i get it kind of so i try- i look at someone else's game for some help but i dont totally know it. but i ask for help in the discord a LOT because i cannot process the documents they hand me, i cannot peice together what the documents say in order to solve the error i got, and only kind of get it when i connect an image of the code to what im doing, but there arent many pictures of what i need step by step and i get stuck again.

so many little things-- things that i cant really add up to just being ADHD- at the very least no one knows how to accommodate to my specifics anyways so i never get it solved. the autism may explain some things but it doesnt explain it all. I can't count change even on my fingers, i cant add things up on paper and i forgot how to multiply and divide. i forget things when theyre not in front of me, nothing i read stays in my head, nor does anything i listen to. i may work fast, i may process movement and things presented surprisingly well, but those four things (math, memory, listening comp, reading comp) are key things to learning that are SO awful it explains every reason i have been this way. i take it in quick, but it goes away in the blink of an eye.

i dont have ADHD by the way- it was one of those labels slapped on for years because "well your memory is bad, and so is your attention, and you have a hard time learning". and i dont disagree exactly, if i hadnt done this i would have been going along w my life with that label and it would have been fine- aside from the fact none of the ADHD meds i have taken over the years have never work, of course. or the fact i still wouldnt really know how to learn things because i dont have accommodations that actually help me make progress. i think i would still be sitting around stuck, thinking i am just stupid and there is no way around it.

point is- there is a lot under the surface. there are a collection of things that explain parts of your cognitive function and they all work on their own. and because i know this now, i can get very specific help. i can properly understand why certain accommodations in the past didnt work, what will work, and what i can do to actually try and Learn Shit. going through years of utterly sucking at everything in school is awful, it really knocks you down. Especially when you want to learn, you feel like you are trying so hard.

for more recent years i have sat here just thinking i couldnt do anything. watching family make progress as they age and feeling unable to do that too feels like shit and i hate the idea of never being able to put anything out there. i am in a place where i can live just fine without any job really, but i dont want to do that? i dont want to do nothing- even if it weren't a job, why would i want to sit around doing the one think i know- draw- and never be able to do anything else? id like it as a job but even outside of that i just want to know things like anyone else.

the fact that i feel far more hopeful than ever before is really a nice feeling. for a while it was a kind of motivation that was more like fighting a brick wall to proceed because even though i wanted something to change, i had no idea how it could. this isnt a clear "ok go do A and B and youll learn!". this will still be a long time of build. it will be a process as it would be for anything with learning and i still get overwhelmed by the prospect too, its still terrifying because i still wonder if it will really work out. but goddamn i do not feel like these many weeks of testing have been a waste- i really do understand far more than ever. its kind of sad to see, to have gone for so long without help, but id rather know it now than to never know and to always feel helpless and stupid.

#good god long post in coming

[pansy-picnics]

*Steeples my hands like I'm about to ask you a question at a job interview* Thoughts on a Siluka and Kasumi friendship/ship-ship?

AUFIJDJGG SORRY IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO ANSWER THIS BUT I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS ONE!!!! THEY WOULD GET ALONG SO WELL!!!!

kasumi is VERY strict to her schedule and incredibly straight forward. she knows what she wants to do and how shes going to do it and she doesn’t take shit from anyone. but she also tends to expect too much of herself and has really bad imposter syndrome so she often tends to bite off more than she can chew.

siluka is super laid back and free spirited and mostly goes about her life on a day to day basis, she has a very straightforward view on herself and her needs and doesnt often overwork herself (much of this i feel is because she physically CANT do very much due to executive functioning issues and she often feels guilty because of it but thats umm mostly just me projecting). but siluka can also be very naive and spacey/is easily manipulated because she always has her head in the clouds.

siluka most of the time has iluka looking out for her, but as much as they would like to they cant be there for each other all the time. i feel like in some cases siluka wouldn’t really click well with people unless theyre doing the talking or iluka is there to talk for her (ex. yuzuki is so quiet that i dont think the two of them would bond much unless hinata or iluka was there to lead the conversation, but NOT both bc then theyd just get distracted and end up talking to each other while yuzuki and siluka sit there in silence).

but i think with kasumi siluka would be able to get along with her pretty well even without iluka there with her. maybe komari introduces the two but id like to imagine kasumi sticks up for siluka at some point while visiting the cafe, because iluka talks a LOT about men trying to hit on siluka while their advances go straight over her head. after the fact kasumi would go on this long rant about her hatred for men and siluka is jsut like “lmao What are u talking about /affectionate”

siluka would be a bit of an anomaly to kasumi at first. like Why are u like that. but as confused as she may be she finds silukas up-in-the-air personality to be somewhat endearing. its kind of a nice change of pace. and siluka tends to be drawn to that firm takes-no-bullshit demeanor because iluka is a lot like that and iluka is her Person she feels really safe around her. OH and silukas aura reading and interests in medicinal herbs would be really interesting to kasumi as well!!! kasumi is always craving knowledge and would be eager to listen to silukas long rambles about local plants and how they can be used + what kind of auras things have.

kasumi would teach siluka self defense skills shell Never remember to use but siluka enjoys learning anyways. she would be really interested, however in kasumis poetry and calligraphy skills. i can see them both becoming really good buddies kasumi would help siluka manage her time and assist her with certain tasks like iluka and ludus often do and siluka would remind kasumi to rest and help her relax/find more peace within herself rather than just burying herself in her work.

i can see a friendship between them devolving really easily into a romantic relationship too. siluka would bring kasumi lots of little flowers and cool shells and stuff like shes a little crow. kasumi would lose her Mind whenever siluka falls asleep on her shoulder. kasumi is really clueless when it comes to romance ESPECIALLY with another girl while siluka doesn’t care about Anything and is super blunt about her emotions (how she perceives them at least) and i think that dynamic would be HYSTERICAL. silukas just staring at kas while shes talking and shes randomly like “…..ur rlly pretty” and kasumis like “WHAJDJVKGKKJDSNANF?!??”

siluka would also find this HILARIOUS bc unlike ppl like hinata or lisette who are consistently morons kasumi seems smart most of the time. its only when siluka compliments her or leans on her in a particular way ect that kasumis brain goes haywire and the funniest part is siluka doesn’t even KNOW shes flirting and neither does kasumi. bc kasumi thinks siluka just Does That and like she does but also its different in this case yk!!! kasumi would confide in komari about this whos like “. Girl. shes into u” and kasumis like “NO SHES NOT i know shes not bc she would tell me if she was.” which in her defense IS TRUE but also siluka literally hasn’t figured out her own feelings yet.

iluka would go to siluka like “hey. yk if you want any help confessing to kasumi lmk like i know shes kinda dense /lh” and silukas just “??? Wdym lol” “…are you not flirting with her” “no” “.What”

anyways eventually siluka figures it out and confesses and kasumi has to have a mini arc figuring out her internalized homophobia but once thats over they start dating and they are both so stupid and so soft. another win for the lesbians

#story of seasons #bokujou monogatari #bokumono #牧場物語 #harvest moon #story of seasons trio of towns #trio of towns #story of seasons 3ot #pansy rambling again #siluka 3ot #kasumi 3ot #silukasu #ask #bkmn asks

[worldofgoo]

yayayay yippee (≧◡≦) i love how vibrant & lively your art is, i think my fav pieces are Horse Surgery & hanyuu (even tho i have no idea who that is) but that one wip with the rainbow is also v ery special 2me because it reminds me of my fav kind of weather ^_^ generic Which Program Do You Use question & also which programs have you tried so far? which one would you recommend for someone whose only experience so far wiht digital art has been scribbling in ms paint -_-? on topic, what do you draw with (mouse, phone, drawing tablet, ??) & was it easy for you to get used to digital art? i always get overwhelmed by the amound of different functions available so im not sure where to even start, any advice? which physical art forms do you like / would you like to learn (anything at all, i personally have been getting into air dry clay... well actually ive been using my sisters playdoh but maybe ill purchase smthn fancier :3) & final question how do you come up with poses to draw? your characters (+creatures) seem very animated and i really like that :)

HI okay i guess ill answer these in a list. actually will put it under the cut since i ended up saying a lot (and dw i enjoy being able to talk a lot so thank you!)

-THANK YOU im glad some of my more recent works (in my more current style) are appealing 2 people! like i wanna draw my own way even though i think it gets less notes... the higurashi fanarts (hanyuu and shion) r very memorable pieces to me because its when i started doing the loose sketches with the thin lines and block colors and thats the direction i reallyreally wanted to take my style in. also the rainbow is rian my friend rian

-i draw in paint tool sai! the only program i used before that was sketchbook pro, which i didnt like because the brushes were kind of... blurry/smudgy? sai allows you to zoom in and draw pixel by pixel which is something i like, and i like the way it does its blending. its also just easier for me to understand. i didnt pay for it i think i found some deviantart page that had the link, id have to find it again

-i draw with a wacom intuos tablet! its lasted me... almost 10 years now. ive heard newer ones are poorer quality in terms of at least the nibs needing to be replaced constantly, so idk what the most recommended tablet these days is. ive drawn with my mouse and tbh it caused awful hand pain so i would not recommend this. i draw on my phone with my finger sometimes but i find doing it on my laptop easier, however it is doable once you get used to it

-the way i got into digital art... well. i still have an archive of my earliest art if you wanna see! i was 14 n just drew random shit, often lining over doodles i did on paper and coloring them in. i think esp if youre overwhelmed start with making like throwaway experimental pieces, scribble around, doodle stupid things and color them in with different brushes and see what you enjoy. and then you can just keep the files to yourself if they dont look too good or maybe itll look interesting, it depends i guess haha. the other thing that ive always found helped me was telling myself id draw every day even if it was a little scribble or the tiniest amount of work on a wip bc getting a habit going helped my art a Lot beause it helped me spend more time thinking n focusing on it

more specific advice for sai that i found useful- using clipping groups & the preserve opacity functions are both lifesavers in terms of not spending so much time trying to color in the lines. if you color in a base layer you can just put everything above it as a clipping group and just not worry about it anymore. i also really like using the filters (like multiply) to mess around with the colors a drawing has, though sometimes its more effective to just select a layer/individual color and fuck with the hue/saturation/etc until it looks good. when i color, esp when its not turning out how i wanted to, i rely on shifting colors A LOT. n also mixing colors together using a blending brush and then colorpicking the intermediate color. very useful

-for the most part i stick to uncolored pencil doodles on like, notebook paper (even though i have some fancy supplies X[ one day) but i LOVE making things with clay, wish it was more accessible to do at home. i have a handful of clay animal statues and stuff that i made in my ceramics class in high school. would looove to do more

-because my poses tend to be very pushed/cartoony using references of real people isnt always useful (though obv knowing the basics of anatomy always helps) so in those cases ill use other cartoony art i like as inspiration, i try to see what i like about their poses nd emulate that with my own. sometimes when im struggling ill just do a bunch of studies where i copy art i like to try to get a feel for what im missing. mostly ive realized i like when the pose conveys some level of like, volume and taking up a 3D space (which im still definitely not a master of but bullshitting it can be fun). and i also like to have a balance of curved and angular shapes. sometimes i try to just do a pose that conveys a specific emotion or i just make shit up lol

alsooooo i cant reccomend aimless doodling enough! just random shapes, turning the random shapes into creatures, trying and trying and trying different ways to draw something until you like it, i feel like the things my hand makes when i shut my brain off and just scribble can inspire me as well, and i try to emulate whatever i made by chance while doodling. and if your doodles turn out better in traditional i tend to consider using a photo of a drawing as a way to skip the "preliminary sketch" phase nd drawing a rough sketch over that which i then use for my drawing (or just directly color since i draw very fast/lazy...)

#long answer but i wanted to give good answers to everything!!! #thank you again!!! #and i hope i helped #yayyy talking about art #ask

[tomorrowillbeyou]

10 14 37 48 52 55 for math ask game

HII OMG THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS!!!

10. do you have any least favourite theorems?

ok for some reason i can't STAND the triangle inequality. every time i see it im like NOT THIS GUY AGAIN and i literally have no reason to feel that way its so irrational but i hate her so much 💔 im sorry triangle inequality

14. do you think you're good at math? do you expect more from yourself?

hmm that's a . tricky one to answer. i think ive always been a little hard on myself because one of my best friends growing up was literally the smartest like as in international olympiad competitor style LOL so i felt inadequate in comparison but at the same time i never felt like i would never be able to do something, i feel like i know deep down very strongly that if i work hard enough i can eventually understand something i don't yet. in terms of creativity and problem solving and stuff like that i do kind of expect a lot more from myself though but like.. i think that will grow over time fingers crossed . also im mega autistic so the whole being rigorous thing is like literally what i already had to do in my regular life or i would get scared of being misunderstood haha. king of overexplaining. anyway this became too long.

37. have you ever used math in a novel and entertaining way?

ough i am a little confused what this is asking. but in many different ways yeah . at school we used to do stupid shit like calculating the number of dots on my blazer or making up ridiculous maths pick up lines or trying to come up with the weirdest proofs or create the fastest growing function stuff like that. ive also helped run kids maths challenges where you kind of have to do that kind of thing . i think i just have a very silly and nonserjous approach to the whole idea of maths like the whole point for me is to have fun with it and mess around so Yea. idk if that's what the question means though

48. has math changed you?

that's another difficult one to answer bc i feel like it's always been really ingrained in my life so it's definitely shaped me as a person for my whole life and i can't imagine the person id be without it but like .. there wasn't really a time before i liked it and then i started liking it and became a different person iykwim. i guess when i became burnt out at the beginning of this year that changed me by making me feel incredibly depressed and lose my sense of identity entirely ahamfhkjrd but were good now!!

52. do you have favourite math textbooks? if so, what are they?

I CANT LIE A TEXTBOOK IS JUST A TEXTBOOK TO ME.. if it gets the job done and isn't super obscure and confusing im chilling 👍👍👍there are probably some really good ones out there but all the ones ive encountered have just kinda been textbooks tbh

55. where is your most favourite place to do math?

welll i guess my favourite place to do most things is in my bedroom at my desk bc that's where i feel most comfortable and private anskdjdk but sometimes if i take a bus while im really struggling with something it helps me get my ideas in order i guess it's the change of scenery or something... on the other hand least favourite i could go on for hours literally anywhere where i have to be around people without headphones in ..my misophonia swag... OH ALSO i like under the stairs in one of the lecture theatres here bc nobody ever goes there and i can blast thursday through my headphones and dance while working on problems sjdksjf but i only go there if i don't have time to go home in between things

#ask #THIS GOT SO LONG AJDKEJFKR I HAVE A LOT TO SAY SOMETIMES 💔

[magicalgirlpropaganda]

It is so hard to avoid 1:40-4:20 classes (weirdly specific times but yeah) but the issue with tht is tht i cant get a job because i dont have time before to work a full shift+walk to a job but everywhere closes after (everywhere here closes at 5 which is weird bcs its a college town)

I can walk about a mile to work and back, i have strong legs and i walk a lot anyways. It burns calories and it's good for me. But the hot summer and the cold winter will be a bitch, especially the summers because it gets REAL hot. Thats the reason i dont walk as much as id like. I love exploring and walking long distances to see things but the weather bothers me and i have a very low heat tolerance + sun makes me sick.

But id be willing to walk a mile. It'll suck but i can deal with it. Plus i might be able to get a ridw with my friend since she works at the coffee shop there or get a bike.

But i just dont have time with my weird schedule. So next semester im gonna try to have all of my classes or at least most of them in the morning so that i can work a shift. I want to work anyways tbh, i take adderall and i have adhd so i like working because it stimulates me (well.. I dont exactly love every job. I loved my old job but it did exhaust me and i didnt get paid tons. I did know the owner and was good friends with my coworkers and still work there summers/long breaks and i go there some weekends. Plus they fed us for free. But i liked working there because they treated me well. I dont want to work somewhere where i am not treated well, but it may not be an option always because fast food is hell. Still, might do it.)

I keep running out of money. I have the ability to work and if places didnt have hours i couldnt meet, id work. I'm young and I want to push myself to do things that tire me because im honestly terrified of my body declining and not being able to do anything so i try to keep active and go out and DO things. It makes me depressed to sit around in my room and play games all day. I love playing games but i also need to DO SOMETHING sometimes. I need dopamine. I'm lucky that i dont technically have to work rn and a lot of ppl dont get that luxury and i appreciate that but I'd like to be employed because i need money and stimulation. It kinda sucks tht it'll have to walk but it'll force me to do more cardio. Plus i wont have as much control over my schedule and ill be more stressed. But things are going easy rn.

[soulrph]

hiya! ill tell you now that this ask isnt rp related so feel free to ignore it, i just... kinda have no one to talk to about it, but i can feel it festering in me and id like to spare myself the emotional breakdown. i hope that doesnt guilt trip you into continuing. anyways, recently i deleted my tumblr blog for several different reasons, one of which was that in the fandom im currently hyperfixating on, i got vague-shade-posted at by one of its bigger artists. quickly it felt like everyone was turning on me, so i just ran while i still had the chance because i knew no one would care. and i was right— all of my mutuals and friends whom ive had day long conversations and plotted many headcannons and fics with didnt react at all and everyone avoids bringing me up even though i was a very active participant of the fandom. its like ive become a bad memory, if even that. but none of that is why im here and need to get this off my chest. that's because of AO3. ive always had very little feedback and interaction with my works, but now it feels like people from thia fandom are deliberately avoiding my content. ive started feeling very discouraged as a content creator and i dont know what to do. writing is all i have now. if i lose that... i dont know where id be. you honestly dont have to answer this, just writing it out made me feel better a little. i didnt have anywhere else to turn to, so im sorry for putting this in your inbox. thanks for listening, though. i hope your day goes lovely, and that you never feel as unwelcome in the world as i do.

hi my darling!! first i wanna say how sorry i am for not getting to you sooner! tumblr loves to hide these things from me, it’s an absolute mess! but anyway, i’m going to try and see if i can help you out here, bc ur situation sounds absolutely terrible, but it also sounds like a situation that, i’m sure, many people would relate to and understand! 

so, for starters, i want you to know how welcome you are in the world, regardless of the opinions of a small group of misguided and frankly foolish people. from what you’re telling me, it sounds an awful lot like this one person who posted about you has a lot of influence in your fandom, right? enough of a presence that, when they speak, some people may feel like there’s no reason to argue or test their reasoning.

i say this because i’ve found many fandoms, at some point or other, inevitably have this kind of presence in the midst. it’s often accidental; i absolutely despise the notion of “popular rp blogs”, i’ve seen so many friendships and friend groups fall apart over accusations of being these “popular rp blogs”, and it’s an absolute mess of a situation that never made any sense to me. the dash isn’t high school. we’re all here to have fun! and yeah, we’ll complain and rant sometimes, but ultimately, we’re all here to make friends and have a good time together while we write outrageous angst about our muses, right?

i digress!

i used to write on ao3 myself, and i wrote in two or three different fandoms. not a lot, mind you! but i did notice that i got a HUGE amount of responses in the arguably smaller fandom than i did with the larger fandoms! like, the difference was incredible! plus, i don’t know if people without ao3 accounts are able to comment or offer feedback on the fics, so there could be LOADS of people reading your stuff who never made an account! i think i read stuff there for about three years before i decided to make an account!

but the truth of it is, you’re after emerging from a truly crappy situation. i think there’s tonnes of people out here who can relate to being vagued about, or to being the target of a shady post. but i also know for a fact that there’s LOADS of people here who have that as a rule; that anyone who vagues, is getting blocked on the spot. it’s 2022. we’re all adults, or at least responsible enough to be online and able to navigate this hellsite. the days of vaguing and shading others need to end.

i don’t want to end this on a dark note, so here’s some nice stuff! for one thing, you’re undoubtedly an incredibly mature and sensible person! reaching out and writing about this stuff is such a healthy thing to do, and you’ve even mentioned that you felt better after writing it, too! so well done!! secondly, you know how brave you need to be to write fanfic AND join tumblr?? SUPER brave!! and to be able to leave tumblr is also a feat of its own!! the important thing to recognize here is this: it only FEELS like people are avoiding your content. and while your feelings are valid, stress and anxiety can combine to lend a new and very unnecessary volume to the voice that’s telling you these things. you said you like writing! so write! it doesn’t matter what the people in your fandom think! you write what you want to write, and the right people will find it and read it and love it! i have a seventeen-chapter fanfic written in one of my old school copy books about a zombie apocalypse, and it started off based on my oc, then it expanded to cover literally any book, tv show or movie i’d ever read, seen or watched! and i love it! i love reading that old tattered book! you write what you love, and other  people will love it too. okay?

ily. know that you are always welcome here. and know that your value doesn’t depend on the opinions of a few. you’re a good person, and you didn’t deserve to be treated that way, and i’m sorry. i’m so sorry that you ever had to feel so badly that you felt “unwelcome”. but just because that group doesn’t welcome you, doesn’t mean that the rest of the world feels the same way! keep writing. and promise me you’ll never forget that you’re always, ALWAYS welcome here.

#OOC. #not rp related #vent tw #negativity tw #depression tw #( idk how to tag this but i'm trusting everyone here to tell me if i forgot anything! ) #( nonnie seriously though. you're amazing. and your feelings? anyone would have those feelings after going through that shitty experience ) #( but from my own experience: it gets better. if they couldn't address problems with you then that's their problem ) #( bc they could have reached out and spoken to you ) #( but instead they turned it into a drama ) #( and nobody wants that shite anyway. it just takes time to realize that )