#bc now I can confidently listen back to those and KNOW I didn’t deserve a word of his manipulation

[phfenomena]

❝i hope i was your favorite crime.❞ || coriolanus snow x f!reader

| request- hi! i was wondering if you could do a corio x plinth reader where he aproches her bc she is a plinth (and she notices and gets mad bc she think that corio takes her for a stupid girl who would just fall for his lies) but he slowly falls for her. i would really like if it ends well, like them together. i hope you understood my idea, i love your work btw.

| A/N- i wanted so bad to make sooooo angsty but i fought the demons. def ooc everybody besides festus. fuck you festus. hope you like it as much as i do 🫶🏻

| WARNINGS- alcohol consumption, creepy men, bad fathers (relatable), nice coriolanus snow, festus creed (he deserves a warning), eating, making out, traumatized sejanus (im sorry sejanus i love you)

the eldest plinth daughter. not an heir, but something you’d want to marry into. if you could get her, you’d never need to do anything again in your life. coriolanus knew that, he reveled in that. he’d never met her, all the times he went over to the plinth’s apartment she was either out or the door to her bedroom was tightly locked- not accepting visitors.

he wondered what she did with her time, was she in university? sejanus seems to never talk about his sister unless someone asks. but yet here she was. a floor length silver dress caught coriolanus’ eye, turning his head to follow the figure. she stood tall and confidently next to her brother. his eyes cascaded over the entire family, all in the same tantalizing silver. they were brightly shining in the ballroom of the benefit. it’d be hard to ignore them. he hated that.

he studied her, they way he could almost see a resemblance to sejanus but feeling as if he’s grasping at straws. her left hand holding a champagne glass she hasn’t drank from, and her right hand resting on sejanus’ shoulder. she’s nodding along to whatever nonsense pup harrington is spitting at her, no doubt making a pass.

she excuses herself and points at her glass, which is now empty after having to listen to the poor boy. when she reaches the full glasses lined up on the table coriolanus makes his move. “hello, ms.plinth.” her head turns to him and her eyes narrow. “coriolanus snow. my brothers supposed best friend- where’s tigris? i like her.” she quickly downs the glass and reaches for another. coriolanus can feel the disdain for him leaking out of her pores.

“she’s, um, she’s back at home. with grandma’am. she is quite nice to be around, isn’t she? how are you enjoying your night?” he attempts to flip the conversation back to her- oh wait, she’s not even looking at him anymore. her eyes find sejanus’ as he’s talking to livia cardew, and she begins walking in his direction. “nice talking to you, coriolanus.” but he felt like it definitely wasn’t nice. was he wanting to marry her for her money? yes. but was she also beautiful and apparently quite funny, as ma plinth has said? also yes.

she spent the rest of night collecting champagne glasses and not leaving sejanus’ side. even he was beginning to get bothered by the bachelors approaching his sister. she leaned against the back wall, yes, another glass in hand. she’d gotten roped into a conversation with festus, clearly tortuous. coriolanus was standing with sejanus about a foot away, so sejanus could keep and eye on festus.

“it’s just so frustrating, coryo! all these guys coming up and trying to make a pass at my sister while i’m right there, if i didn’t know any better i would’ve taken pup harrington outside. you should’ve heard some of the stuff he was saying to her. it’s horrible.” sejanus rants while staring at festus. “well, she’s gonna have to get married eventually, sejanus.” coriolanus says with a slight smile to his bestfriend.

“i know that, just none of these guys. we’ve been everyday with them at the academy. you know how bad they are, the shit they say about women in general. i don’t want those guys with her.” it’s obvious he’s quite over protective of her, even though she’s three years older than him. coriolanus nods along with him and pats his back.

“i’ll go save her.” coriolanus comforts his friend and makes his way to festus. “sejanus said he needed your opinion on some ideas for the food, seemed urgent.” she nods and offers a knowing smile to coriolanus. festus leans his head on the wall “man! i really felt like i was getting somewhere with her” coriolanus rests a hand on his shoulder. “trust me, you definitely weren’t.”

the party has picked up and died down, everyone sitting to eat but coriolanus couldn’t seem to figure out where she was. she wasn’t sitting with her family and unless she had friends he didn’t know, he couldn’t see her anywhere. he’d made his way outside to take a breather from all the talking and hugging old people who knew his parents.

that’s when his eyes laid upon the girl in the silver dress, and he took a seat next to her on the steps. she’s staring out into the gardens and her eyes are glazed over. no champagne glass in her hand this time. she doesn’t turn to look at him.

“i’m really drunk right now and i hate almost everyone in there. all they care about is money and those stupid hunger games.” she confided in him and rested her chin on her arms that are wrapped around her knees. “yeah, you didn’t look like you were having a great time. i tried counting how many glasses you had but i lost count after ten.” she lightly laughed and shook her head.

“i think it was thirteen but i’m not sure, i drank four while festus was chirping in my ear about how many children he wanted.” she feigned chills at the mention of his name and they laughed. she turned to look at him with a barley noticeable smile “you’re not like them, are you? you’re more like sejanus. quiet and doesn’t bother women they want to marry.” the comparison of sejanus would normally upset him, but coming from her it felt the highest compliment a man could receive.

she rubbed her hands over her arms to conserve warmth and coriolanus quickly removed his blazer to wrap around her and she muttered a small thanks. resuming her staring at the gardens. “would you like to grab you some water? or something to eat? it’s not gonna be very good for you tomorrow morning if you don’t eat something.” he whispers towards and she nods her head.

as coriolanus is walking back in, the plinths are walking out. “hey coryo. we’re heading home for the night as ma doesn’t feel too well, have you seen-“ coriolanus points outside “she’s on the steps, make sure she eats something when you get home. way too much champagne for a human.” seianus claps his hand against coriolanus’ chest and continues outside.

the sun is battering down on the capitol but the plinths home is cooler than a beautiful spring day, probably for the hungover girl inside. coriolanus knocks on the door and smiles as his eyes meet ma’s. “oh! coriolanus, it’s so good to see you. we didn’t talk much last night. come in! i just finished up some pies!” she ushers him inside as sejanus joins them in his mothers corner of the kitchen.

after the grueling and quite long conversation with ma coriolanus excused himself. sejanus seemingly interested in this new sugar ma had found. as coriolanus rounded the corner to her room, he stopped. suddenly feeling quite nervous and as if he might throw up. her bedroom door opened and her eyes meet his, he looks down and she’s holding his blazer out. “i heard you talking to ma, here this.” her calloused tone returns, maybe she only likes him she’s drunk. he better find a lot more champagne.

the plinth family plus coriolanus are sitting in the sun room, drinking iced tea and munching on whatever treats ma had baked. “so, coriolanus, do you have any plans on getting married after university?” strabo’s deep and rough voice cut over his wife’s story.

coriolanus set his tea down “i’d hope so, certainly.” his eyes skip between strabo and his daughter. she’s sitting with her knees pulled up to chest and she’s looking out the window. “well you know how much we’d love to have you in the family, we could arrange your marriage with-“ she sets her cup down harshly and stands up.

“you always do this! could you just leave me alone? maybe i don’t want to get married, ma said it was fine if i didn’t marry.” she’s waving her hands around and waits for him to answer. when she’s met with silence she storms out and slams the sunroom door. “strabo, you can’t make her marry someone she doesn’t love.” someone she doesn’t love.

coriolanus stands up and thanks them for the tea. “tigris wanted to head to the market and i’d never let her go alone, i’ll see you guys tomorrow night.”

he walks by her door and tries the handle, quietly. he fully expected it to be locked but the door swings open and she’s laying face down on the bed. “sejanus, go away.” she grumbled through her mattress. “it’s not sejanus.” she sighs and sits up, staring at him.

“do you not knock before entering a room?” she tilted her head and studied him. “i expected it to be locked, sorry. i’ll knock next time.” his eyes seem to gravitate towards the floor and he can’t will himself to bring them back up.

“i’m sorry about my father. i’m sure it made you very uncomfortable, he’s just always trying to marry me off.” her hands fidget awkwardly in her lap. “i wasn’t too uncomfortable, any guy would be lucky to marry you. i always heard that you were quite mean, i’ve yet to see that.”

she scoffed and turned her head to the window. “they only say that because i don’t hesitate to speak my mind. i taught sejanus that. i am definitely what they call me, but only to them.” why does she feel so comfortable spilling her guts to him?

“i saw you and sejanus’ sister a few minutes ago, coriolanus. are you willing to deal with her grating voice and attitude for the plinths money?” arachne sneers towards him and the group laughs. “it helps that she’s pretty, it’s already hard enough trying to talk to her.” coriolanus regrets it the second it escapes his mouth.

she liked him. she really did like coriolanus snow, but who doesn’t? she weaved her way through the crowd trying to escape him. he was hot on her trail until he catches up to her in one of the various bedrooms inside the ravinstalls estate.

“do you think i’m stupid, coriolanus? be honest.” he scrambles to find the words but his brain couldn’t function in the one moment he desperately needed it. “i said you were different, i talked to you about things i liked, i would tell ma all about you. but you aren’t different, you’re just like the others.” he ran his hand through his hair. “i was different, i am different. i don’t know why i said that, it just came out. i didn’t mean it, i promise.”

he attempted to take her hand but she ripped out of his grasp and stomped out of the room. shit.

the next day her door was locked. and the next. and the next. he wasn’t even sure she was there anymore. sejanus hasn’t mentioned anything but he wished he would. he wished he would tell him if she was okay or if he majorly screwed up.

as coriolanus and sejanus sit in the sunroom attempting to study, there’s a knock on the door. coriolanus cranes his neck to see festus ravinstill standing there with a bouquet of flowers. god, this kid is tragic. but then he sees you, take the flowers with a smile and a kiss on his cheek. strabo’s never looked happier.

coriolanus suffered in silence watching festus become a daily guest and drowning out sejanus’ complaints about him being there. for once in his life, he agreed with sejanus. when he enters the kitchen to refill his glass of lemonade he sees her watering the plants in the kitchen.

“don’t marry him. he won’t be good to you.” she drops her head and turns to him. “and you would?” she spits back sending him into a whirlwind. “yes.” he whispers out and she takes a few steps closer to him. “festus is nice and fathers happy with this. i don’t have another choice, coriolanus. i have to do this” how does she always sound so sure of herself? maybe coriolanus could take a class from her.

their eyes finally meet, after weeks of not seeing her eyes, she’s finally looking at him. “you could marry me, instead. i wouldn’t treat you like a prize, like festus would.” she steps impossibly closer and he feels like he can’t breathe when she’s around. oxygen becomes molasses and his knees become jelly.

she looks over coriolanus’ shoulder and stands up on her toes to kiss him. he takes a moment to catch on but he his hands find purchase on her waist and he leans down. all nerves thrown out the window and all he can think of is her, how she tastes, how she smells, he can’t even remember who festus is.

her hands wind his curly hair around her fingers as she swipes her tongue against his own and he pushes her against the refrigerator, causing a few magnets to fall onto the floor. his hands are trailing up and down the waist of the yellow dress she had decided to wear that day.

festus had left the plinths the second he saw her look at him over coriolanus’ shoulder. knowing he lost and there’s nothing he could’ve done.

she pulls back, panting. “i’ll marry you, just don’t call me annoying again.” her lipstick is smeared across both of their mouths and he gives her a dopey smile. “i wouldn’t dream of it” he brushes stray hair out of her face.

“in the kitchen?! we make food there!” sejanus is standing in the doorway, seemingly traumatized. “sorry, sej.” he shakes his head walking away but throwing a secretive thumbs up at coriolanus.

#tom blyth #tom blyth x reader #billy the kid x reader #coriolanus snow smut #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x reader #tom blyth fluff #coriolanus snow #coriolanus x you #tom blyth x you #coriolanus fanfiction #sejanus plinth #sejanus deserved better #festus creed i don’t like you #billy the kid fluff #billy bonney x reader #billy the kid #william bonney smut #william bonney fluff #william bonney x reader #william bonney

[iamvegorott]

Okay so I’m gonna head to bed soon, but I was thinking about how there are so many people who make up scenarios of someone’s S/O meeting an asshole. And though I love those a lot, I was wondering, what if it’s the opposite? What if it’s their S/O meeting an ex that’s practically perfection?

Since I love Yancy with my being, I decided to incorporate this idea with him, so— le’s go <3

——————————

Imagine Yancy visiting Illinois at a museum for a presentation he has, fully intent on surprising him. He’s accommodated himself at the back of the group that is currently listening to Illinois go on about an artifact Yancy knew nothing about. But afterwards, he felt a presence behind him—

“What a wonder, huh? They were made in Athens in around 580 BC. It’s decorated with scenes from Greek myth.”

Yancy looked over at the source of the voice and immediately felt— 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨, chipping away at him at the back of his mind. The woman was the definition of elegant and intelligence, and carried herself with confidence, but not the arrogant kind. Chocolate brown skin, rings looped around the braids in her hair, jewelry that probably costed more than Yancy’s whole outfit, and she wore a black backless mermaid dress. Yancy blinked out of his trance, trying to remember what the woman had said.

“Uh—” he couldn’t think of anything to say, but luckily, the woman was more than happy to point towards the artifact she was speaking about.

“The Sophilos Vase,” she commented, a friendly smile on her face, “They were made to hold wine mixed with water for feasts.”

“Oh— yeah, ‘course,” he added, trying to fill the silence that threatened to fall upon them, “Interesting. But uh, ‘m not ‘ere for the tour.”

His eyes drifted away from the vase and over to Illinois, who was currently speaking to a well-dressed man who looked to be 20 years older than him. Just now, Yancy noticed how many people were dressed formally. Suits, dresses— hell, he probably looked like he was working the night shift for this joint. Though, he felt better about it upon seeing Illinois in his usual get up; he looked like adventure was going to pop out of any corner and he had to be ready for it. The woman trailed her gaze over to him and her smile turned into a teasing smirk.

“Oh, I see. So you’re here for the man 𝘨𝘶𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 the tour then?” She asked, and Yancy couldn’t help the warmth that rushed to his face, letting out an amused chuckle and turning back towards her.

“Yeah, you’s caught me,” he admitted, hands going to rest inside the pockets of his jacket, “you’s both know each other?”

“You could say that. We were together a few years before calling it off,” the woman shrugged with that same casual smile, “it was for the best though. He had his whole career and all and I had mine. It just didn’t intertwine, for some reason.”

‘A few 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴?!’. She says it so casually that Yancy almost missed the meaning behind the words. His eyes widened and his eyebrows raised slightly, mouth agape before nodding and letting out a simple ‘oh!’ since it was the only thing he could think to say. He shouldn’t be surprised; he can see why Illinois would become interested in someone like her; she was practically perfection. She was sweet, kind, caring, intelligent, attractive, funny—

Okay, now he knows the feeling that was chipping away at him earlier. He felt inferior.

If this woman was here to see Illinois, that means they kept in touch, right? They’re still friends, and Yancy shouldn’t feel anything about that. Illinois deserves to have a friend like her, right? But what if he realizes that he downgraded immensely, and goes back to her? He’d be a fool not to; she can see that she cared for him, and she would probably welcome him back with open arms. They would be a power couple! They both radiated the same energy after all. They could dominate the world together, side by side.

While Yancy’s alone at home, waiting for him to come back from an adventure that he’s too scared to accompany him on. He cries into a pillow every night while he’s away and wishes he was braver, wishes he was more confident, and wishes that he wasn’t so scared of everything. Of the world around him. God, he’s such a baby, such a burden, such a—

“So how do you know him?”

The woman’s words broke Yancy out of his trance, and then he realized he was staring at her while he had his internal conflict. He told her that they were together, and she apologized profusely, saying that she must have made him uncomfortable talking about her time with Illinois. Yancy obviously deflected it, though he knew she was right. But he would never say that to her! Not when she’s been nothing but nice to him this whole time. They spoke for the remainder of the tour, and Yancy would listen to her describe some of the artifacts that they would pass on their walk around the museum. It took all his energy and willpower to actually pay attention, nodding along and adding a comment or two. Yet even with most of his attention on the history around them, he just wanted to go home. He just wanted to see Illinois. He wanted to forget tonight, wanted to forget that he ever met this perfect woman, and wanted to be what he knew Illinois needed.

But he can’t be her, and that’s what crushes him.

——————————

Can you tell I got lazy towards the end lol xD

— 🦋

Oh Yancy baby!!!

You know Illinois loves you for who you are!!!

#🦋 anon #yanois

[dreamkidddream]

I’m the Doll!MC Anon and I just wanna say I’m so glad that you enjoy a soft/delicate!MC and I really didn’t expect it to get so much love!

Since I kinda want to be evil and see the boys be overprotective, can I request hc’s of them seeing Doll!MC getting hurt by some lesser demon that bumps her into the ground and she gets a bruise? 🌚

Omg Doll Anon I wasn’t expecting it to get so much love either (here’s the original Doll!MC HCs if anyone wants to read)!! So I actually had your request saved for when I was done with the prompt special bc it’s so good, so I decided to combine them and I have definitely been waiting to write this 😈😈 Reader is gender neutral!

CW: mention of blood (nothing graphic) and spoilers for Lesson 16 (Lucifer, Mammon, Beel, and Belphie’s part)

The Brothers and Diavolo with Doll!MC who Gets Hurt

Lucifer

Okay whoever is dumb enough to hurt you in front of him deserves this 100%

The air around this man is already more than intimidating, so whoever tries this is a poor, stupid soul

When he saw you fall down the stairs, he felt his stomach turn. He already caught you before you could injure yourself further, but after seeing the blood coming down your face, the damage was already done

Now, Lucifer is the brother who always has control over himself and what he does. But, we also know that how his temper can get, especially when it comes to his family

This demon is dumb enough to push you but not dumb enough to crack a smile in front of him, especially with how tense Lucifer is getting right now

He sat you up and tried to remember some first aid techniques to stop the bleeding. You’re on the verge of losing consciousness, but you’re okay right now. He’ll take you home, but first-

His glare is making the demon freeze in place right now, and the anger radiating off of him is petrifying

How dare- how dare this fool harm you, in front of him no less?! Did they think that he wouldn’t do anything? That Lucifer, the Avatar of Pride, one of the strongest demons to ever grace the Devildom, would just idly stand by and let this happen?

He’s stalking towards them, and he can feel his fangs showing and his diamond appearing on his forehead, growling out how they will pay for this-

But he’s stopped by Lord Diavolo, who was shocked by the scene. You’re unconscious, and Lucifer has this poor student hanging in the air by their uniform, claws ready to slice through them. Needless to say, he understands why his close friend is upset, but for everyone’s safety he should just take you home like planned

You thought Lucifer was a helicopter parent before? You haven’t seen NOTHING yet

He would start inviting you more to his room to sleep in his bed while he works away, and it started happening so much that he didn’t even ask anymore and started expecting you to always be in there

So instead of him being glued by your side, you’re glued to his. It’s obvious that he can’t let you out of his sight without something happening (again), so hope you’re ready to see experience Lucifer’s daily routine from sunrise to sunset and a whole new set of rules. Basically playing follow the leader, but with a lot more handholding and kisses

You had to practically beg to be back into the kitchen, and he only relented when he could be the one to supervise you, and even then he still didn’t want to hold anything sharp or be near anything that could injure you (which is pretty much everything)

The main one to put a stop to his brothers’ schemes, handing out harsher punishments than before each time they try to involve you. This man is not playing any games with anyone

You know he means well, he was already overprotective from the start, and this is just his way of showing that he cares about you. You can tell every time he gives you that soft look in his eyes, and the regret that he shows every time he catches sight of your bruise. He may not like to be vulnerable, but he couldn’t hide his emotions from you too long. You’re like a weakness to him, one that he isn’t against indulging in

And he hasn’t forgotten about that student, oh no. He made sure to have a nice lengthy chat with them when you both returned to RAD. You didn’t question it when he informed you that the student had been rightfully punished and no longer an issue, and you tried to ignore the red dots splattered on his shoes, or that sadistic gleam in his eyes...

Mammon

This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening, this isn’t happening-

The blood is pouring from your head, and your eyes are closing too fast for him, and his heart stops

You look lifeless, like when Belphie killed you, when he was too late to save you-

He’ll never forget that image, it’s drilled deep into his mind, forever a reminder of his failure to protect you. And now he failed again-

This demon is gloating about this, and that’s when he snaps

He was already in his demon form and beating the life out of them when he was restrained. Many people were shocked that he was capable of this, that Mammon the scumbag, Mammon the dummy, Mammon the punching bag was capable enough to be this dangerous, this deadly. He’s the second born after all, and he’s the strongest right under Lucifer himself, and he holds a lot in

He could- he would do a lot more because they deserve it, but just seeing you so still, it snaps him out of it. You’re more important to him than getting his anger out, and you’re the one he needs to be focusing on right now. But rest asssured, this isn’t over

You thought he was attached to you before? He is glued to your side 24/7 and will not be leaving anytime soon. Ever since you woke up he never let go of you, calling you “his human” and just hugging you tight

Also if you have to go down the stairs you guys are FLYING no exceptions! The stairs are the devil in his eyes (how ironic) and he will not be risking anything with you

If you guys aren’t out and about under his careful and watchful eye (and I mean very careful, he’s like your very own bodyguard but with a lot more growling and snapping on strangers than usual), then you’re in his room doing whatever. Watching movies, playing cards and somehow beating him every time (he swears that he isn’t letting you win! Lies), whatever you wanna do. As long as you’re with him, giggling and safe, he’s happy and stress free

You mean so much to Mammon MC, he can’t even tell you if he tries. Under his tsundere traits, he really loves you, like really loves you! He’s just so scared of being rejected and losing you a second time. But now that he knows you’ll always be there for him, he’s going to do the same for you (but he already was even if you didn’t like him) He hates looking at that bruise right now, but it’s set as a reminder to not let something happen to you again

Also, another thing that people forget about Mammon is that he can talk to crows. So it wasn’t much to have them track down the person who caused you pain, and it didn’t take long for him to find them either. He thinks that the aftermath will set a good lesson for everyone else who continues to underestimate him when it comes to you: don’t

Leviathan

See, this is why he never leaves his safe haven AKA his room!

After he saw your head hit the ground hard, he was freaking out. He doesn’t know what to do, he wasn’t prepared for this! He tried shaking you to keep you awake, but your eyes were steady closing

Everything is happening in slow motion. You’re slumped over on the ground while the person who did it is laughing at him

If anything, the person who did it should be the one on the ground, not you, not his Henry. It’s not fair, it’s not fair, it’s not fair!

The demon stopped laughing when their windpipe was getting crushed by the second. They couldn’t even try to loosen the grip, Levi’s tail is rather strong, and so is he. He is the third strongest out of his family and the Grand Admiral of the Navy, yet people tend to forget that

Everyone knows how bad Levi’s tantrums can be, but this isn’t just a tantrum, it’s much worse. Had the brothers not intervene, he would have done much worse than summoning Lotan (which he was on the brink of doing anyway)

When you did wake up, he was so upset. Of course he let this happen, he’s just a worthless otaku who couldn’t even keep his crush safe-

OMG why are you hugging him and patting his head?! Quit it- well wait, this does feel kinda nice...Ugh you’re such a normie! Getting hurt so easily and still trying to put a smile on his face. But it does make him feel better

He rarely left his room before, and you guys are definitely not leaving it now. It’s like having a sleepover, but it never ends. That sounds great, right MC? Endless marathons of TSL and other anime, co-op video games, trying on his cosplay outfits that he made (some even made just for you and he needs to cover that bruise somehow), it’s going to be so fun and you’ll be safe with him! Who wouldn’t want that??

We all know that Levi is very self conscious. He knows that he isn’t confident like Lucifer and Mammon, or attractive like Asmo, or smart like Satan or Belphie, or physically fit like Beel, he knows. But every time you listen to him ramble on about this new anime show that he wants you guys to binge, or when he rants about a stupid move his teammate did in an online match, he feels valued. He feels loved. And while it’s hard for him to express his feelings, it’s no doubt in his mind that you’re important to him, and that he’s beyond happy that someone like you is his best friend

One day he’ll get the courage to say those three words, but he hopes that you already know with everything that he does for you

For example, Levi is an aquatic demon, and he has the ability to communicate with all types of sea creatures. Granted, he knows right from wrong, but in his eyes he’s taking care of the problem. So it wouldn’t be a huge issue if he used them to clean up the remaining mess of said problem, right? I mean, his venom can only do so much, and he doesn’t need anyone questioning him, and Lotan does get hungry...

Satan

He could only see red. Both from his anger surfacing and from the fact that you’re bleeding

He had his claws wrapped around the neck of the one responsible before they could even think about running. This- this filth dared tried to escape after he hurt you? And they thought that Satan would just let them get away with it?

They must forget that he’s the Avatar of Wrath, the one who doesn’t show mercy

He just kept pounding the demon into the ground, over and over and over and over. He didn’t even care about the blood splatter it was leaving on the lockers or on him

He was this close to finishing them off when he heard you call out for him, and it took everything in him to drop them. He squeezed their neck a final time, not even close to being satisfied with the whimper he heard, and growled out a promise of that he will find them and will make sure that they suffer before he threw them down. They better count themselves lucky that they get to crawl away in one piece (for now), because had you not been there-

Oh, he is seething the more he thinks about it

But you bleeding is a distraction from it, even if it is making his stomach turn, it’s helping him know that he needs to help you now

He didn’t have to let his brothers know as they came to see what the commotion was, and Lucifer (even if he didn’t want to believe it himself) was anxious that he was the cause of it. But after he saw the hold he had on you and another demon barely clinging onto life, he knew otherwise

It was decided that you two going home would be the best course of action (which it didn’t matter to Satan, you both weren’t going to stay here whether it was demanded or not), and he calmed down enough to properly treat you

You didn’t leave his room for the rest of the day, and he even gave up his bed for you to lie in so that he can do some research. The human body is a complicated thing, but Satan can learn it like the back of his hand just for you. So just go ahead and rest for now MC- or maybe not, you might have a concussion according to this book and if you do he needs to monitor your condition!

Even after you were healed, he didn’t let you out of his sight and daily checkups were a must. Dr. Satan is in the building!

You eventually moved back into your room (you would have stayed longer but he’s a little nervous with his towering stacks of books and doesn’t want anymore accidents), but he practically moved in with you with how much he comes over, either falling asleep at your desk reading a book or falling asleep in your chair right next to your bed

Very reluctant to have you around stairs, it makes the hairs on his neck stand up. He’ll let you go down the stairs ONLY if you’re holding his hand. If you’re upset with those conditions (spoiler alert you’re not), then you better be ready to learn some teleportation spells (but even then he’s still not leaving your side)

He doesn’t hold his temper back with the others when it comes to you for the time being. If he even senses that Mammon, Asmo, or Levi is coming to you with something that can cause trouble, he’s growling at them to leave you alone, horns slowly coming out and tail whipping furiously

However, he tries not to lash out in front of you. He realizes that he lost control with that demon, and how it could have terrified you had you been fully conscious, but he doesn’t want you to think that he’s just a monster. He wants you to continue to treat him like you do now, and not have the image of bashing someone’s bloody body on the floor repeatedly

Speaking of bashing someone, Satan made well on his promise of coming back. The demon thought that avoiding coming back to school would save them, but Satan is a genius, and has many associates that he can sweet talk to get what he wants. It didn’t take much to figure out where they went, and he made sure to get out all of his pent-up frustrations from that fateful day. He felt better when he came home, but he needed to take a shower before he went to see you...

Besides from that, he does appreciate the peace that you do bring him. You just have this aura around you that’s so calming to him, and he needs to steal you away more he realizes

Also you make better cat-themed desserts than the cafe and he can’t risk Beel eating them all again

Asmodeus

He’s shook, and not in the good way

He just had your hand in his, complaining about how you cuticles look so good and his is lacking and how guys have to go to the nail salon after class, and then your hand is jerked from his, your form at the bottom of the stairs

The blood staining your uniform is alarming, but he can’t worry about that now. He’s trying to keep you talking, but you’re already on the verge of passing out

“MC, you can’t sleep yet! We have plans to go to the nail salon remember? And I need you awake so we can talk about what matching color we’re getting! So what color should we get now, MC? MC? MC!”

He’s trying to keep himself from panicking, but he can’t help it! You’re suppose to be smiling and laughing with you, loving him, but you’re unconscious on the ground, and he’s scared

Quickly dials Lucifer and tells him the whole situation, and he’s surprised to find himself blinking back tears

The demon who did this is long gone by the time Lucifer and Diavolo come, but he remembers the face, and he has something exciting planned when he comes face to face with them

Obviously you have to go home, but Asmo is so distraught that he has to go home with you. But when you wake up, prepare to be tackled to the bed with him crying his eyes out. All you can do is try to comfort him and tell him that okay, giving him little kisses on his cheek

But now that the sadness is out of the way (all this crying and worrying is causing him stress wrinkles), it’s time for a makeover/stress relief!

Fashion shows, makeovers, painting nails, face masks, the whole nine yards. All in the comfort of his dazzling room!

It’ll make you both feel and look better, and honestly you two need that right now. It also gives him the opportunity to cover that unappealing bruise. Your beauty outshines it but it’ll be best to cover it up for your and his sake (mainly his)

Every time Asmo sees your bruise, he gets upset and he’s tired of being reminded of what happened. He knows that he’s only loved for his looks, his vanity, but you see more in him than that

You’re...you’re the first person that loves him for him entirely, not because of his features. And when he tells you that he loves you, he honestly means it. He would have never thought he would fall so deep for someone, let alone a human, but...he’s glad that it’s you. He’s happy that it’s you

Which is why he wants to keep you safe and injury-free. Plus, your skin is too pretty and doll-like to be roughed up!

You guys still go out of course, he just has a better eye on you now. This one incident isn’t going to hold him back for picking out new cute outfits for you!

And don’t think he forgot about that demon who caused all of this in the first place. He actually waited by their locker, and convinced them to come with him. But what should Asmo do with them? He could always have them steal Beel’s food, annoy Lucifer, say something horrible about Ruri-Chan, the possibilities are endless! As long as they don’t cause him to get dirty, of course

Or maybe they should do something so severe that they have no reason than to leave RAD forever, or even leave the Devildom forever, depending on how far he’s willing to take it. He’ll do anything if it means you’re safe and he gets to keep you all to himself

Beelzebub

He thought it was an accident at first, you get so excited about things that you stumble over your own feet sometimes, but he’s always there to catch you or pick you up

You keep saying that you’re okay as he’s holding onto you, and after he sits you up he’s confused because he smells blood. His heart is beating a little quicker, and you’re not talking anymore, and your head is drooping, and that’s when he sees the blood running down the side of your face

He’s starting to panic, and he’s so scared that if he tightens his hold against you he’ll just make things worse, that he’ll just hurt you more. But he needs to go find Lucifer, he needs to get you help, you’re feeling so light in his arms and it reminds him of the Celestial War when he witnessed his sister dying-

He hears someone snickering behind him, and that’s when he loses his temper

You’re a part of his family now, someone that he loves and cares for more than he can describe, and they did this to you? Someone who wouldn’t even squish a bug, someone who made him late night snacks without even asking, always there to give him hugs after his games no matter how sweaty, someone that put his family back together and they did this to you?

Lucifer and Mammon struggled to hold him back after they found the demon flung through the wall, laying under the rubble. Beel just kept growling, fangs bared and wings buzzing. He won’t stop trying to get out of their hold, and he keeps inching closer and closer to the demon, and it’s only a matter of time before he finishes what he started

You were already in the infirmary getting treated, and Beel isn’t calming down anytime soon so you were both escorted home

You woke up to Beel upset and pouting. He’s so worried about you that he couldn’t even eat. Beelzebub could not eat, that’s how you knew this was a something serious

Poor Beel was so terrified of hurting you himself that he failed to protect you from the people that do want to hurt you, or worse

But this won’t happen again, he swears, both to you and himself. Move over Mammon, Beel is officially your new bodyguard!

Wherever you go, Beel is right behind you, literally. He’s like your shadow, just bigger and a lot more...menacing. Also isn’t taking any chances with Mammon’s schemes, just carrying you away before he can even open his mouth about another get rich quick plan

Speaking of carrying, you are not allowed to walk down the stairs anymore. As soon as you step near some you find yourself in his arms like it’s nothing. Both at home and at school, it doesn’t matter to him

Also he’s very cautious to have you around people besides his brothers, and the exchange students (but he’s still hesitant about Solomon, anyone who can cook food like him is automatically getting the side eye)

Also you practically moved in with the twins, and it’s nothing compared to the sleepovers before. Belphie sleeps easier, Beel’s stomach is satisfied (eating your homemade sweets with you is better than everything combined at Hell’s Kitchen, and trust me he knows) he feels all warm inside, and you’re protected. Everyone’s happy!

Beel is a sweet guy, just don’t come in between his family or his food. After that whole incident with the demon, everyone has come to understand that, especially after seeing just how much damage he caused both to the demon and the school in so little time...

Belphegor

If he was sleepy before, he’s completely awake now

You’re holding the side of your head, and he can see the blood seeping through your fingers, groaning in pain. You keep trying to say that you’re okay, but your words are starting to slur and he’s getting nervous, he’s getting scared

It’s reminding him too much of his worst mistake, of what he did to you, when he murdered-

No. He doesn’t need to be thinking about that right now, especially when the person who did this is bragging about it while your body is slumped over. Right there, he knows what exactly needs to be done

Belphie was already in front of them before they even registered it, and didn’t give him any time to form an excuse. His claws were already at their throat, inching deeper and deeper the more they swallowed

“I should just slit your throat now, it’ll be easy and not a lot of work. But you deserve much worse than that. You’ll wish I did by the end of this.”

After a tap to the demon’s forehead, they just collapsed before him, unmoving. He didn’t even look down when he stepped over them (or rather stepped on them) to get to you. You’re passed out, but still breathing. You can’t stay here like this, and he refuses to tell Diavolo or Lucifer. He’ll figure something out, maybe Satan has some books in his room on what to do...

When you woke up, you found yourself wrapped in blankets and Belphie sleeping beside you, arms wrapped tight. You were confused, when did you get home? You remember walking with him down the stairs, but everything was blurry after that. What happen-

“You’re always thinking so hard MC, you’ll never be able to get good rest if you keep that up. But Satan did say to check on you every couple of hours, so I guess it’s fine. And quit touching your head!”

“Oh, sorry Belphie, I didn’t mean to-”

“Tch, how annoying...”

But he’s lying. Even as he’s carefully re-wrapping the bandages, he’s relieved that you’re awake, that your eyes are still full of life, not like the dullness that he saw that fateful night

When Lucifer finds you he is not happy with Belphie, but he doesn’t care and tells him that everything is already under control and that he isn’t needed. Belphie didn’t miss the scowl that he sent his way, but he just smirked in response. You didn’t need Lucifer as Belphie is already taking care of you, as it should be

You know how he always carries around his favorite pillow? Yeah he’s doing that with you basically, minus the carrying. You’re practically attached to his side, wherever he goes you’re either right there with him or in his room, which is mainly just you two lazing around or sleeping (as usual)

Honestly, the only demons who he’s okay with disturbing you two is Beel and maybe Satan. Beel because that’s his twin and it’s his room too, and Satan only if he’s checking on you medically or if he has some new ideas to mess with Lucifer. Everyone else is just trying to bother you and be annoying, and you don’t need that

Of course he blames himself for this! How is he suppose to keep you safe, to make up for his mistake? But then it clicks

It’s not the fact that he’s weak, people think that he’s weak. But he realizes that this is fine, he’ll use that to his advantage.

Diavolo is upset and Lucifer is running out of excuses for him, but Belphie just plays stupid and says he can’t remember how to remove it (even though he does). Let the demon lose some more sleep until they learn their lesson, whether it’s from the constant nightmares or from sleep deprivation trying to stay awake to avoid said nightmares. He’ll remove it when he feels like it, and he doesn’t see that happening anytime soon

Let people think the Avatar of Sloth is weak, that he’s not a threat, and he can show them exactly how wrong they are. Better yet, this demon can be the perfect example, and many more if they become a bother to you (and him)

You’re too nice MC, too delicate. You treat him so good, like he’s not a demon, like he’s not the monster who took your life, and he has to thank you for that somehow. He feels like whatever he does won’t be enough for the kindness you give him, but protecting you from others who used to be like him could be a good start

Also now he can hog all of your head pats and cuddles for himself, and he doesn’t feel bad at all. Everyone else had their time with you when he was locked up, so he’s finally got the opportunity to be selfish

Diavolo

First of all...this demon is dumb enough to harm you in front of him??? The Demon LORD???? The FUTURE KING OF HELL??!

They have more than just a death wish

It all happened so quick, he just crossed paths with you in the hallways and started to ask about your day (and maybe invite you for a small tea date after school) but he didn’t even get the chance to open his mouth

One second he saw your eyes light up and hand extended to excitedly wave, then he saw your fragile form tumbling down the stairs

Barbatos was soon called to his side as Diavolo saw the red coating his palms and you barely staying conscious, trying to say that you’re okay and not to worry

See...he feared that this would be a problem. While Diavolo is a very kind and understanding ruler, there are still some demons out there who think he’s too lenient, too soft. But that’s where people are mistaken. Diavolo is kind, but do not mistake his kindness for weakness

He felt his anger rising, his demeanor starting to crack, but he set aside his emotions. You’re his first priority, and he needs to make sure that you’re okay! He’s still a ruler, and you’re his responsibility (and first love)

However, he made sure that Barbatos took the demon who did this and kept them in the dungeon until he was done treating you. He won’t let this go unpunished, he can’t and he won’t

You’re an important part of the exchange program, and you’re most important to him, and he’s upset with himself that you got hurt. You’re so delicate, and you don’t deserve any of this happening to you, but what can he do? While he trusts the brothers to keep you safe, he wants to keep an eye on you personally, but how?

Then it struck him

You liked to stay in the castle, always smiling and having fun whenever you spent time with him there, so why not relocate you there?? It’ll be like an extended sleepover/retreat with just you two!! You guys can do all of your favorite activities and won’t have to worry about going home because you won’t have to leave!! Why didn’t he think of this sooner?!

The brothers are very upset with this incident, and even more so when he announced this. Diavolo decided that your condition needed to be monitored closely, and since he’s the person directly in charge of the exchange program AND the ruler over the Devildom, there was no room to argue. You weren’t going to stay in the castle forever, just until he deemed it right to return to the HoL

Which would be...some time soon, maybe. He’s not really worried about that now, his number 1 concern is you after all!

You’re getting the royal treatment, literally. This is the chance that he gets to pamper you without interruptions and he is not wasting it!

You kept trying to convince him that you’re fine, but he wasn’t hearing any of it, especially after he sees the nasty bruise that was left. “MC, please! You still need to rest. How about I have Barbatos bring us some tea to help, and we can even have the royal staff bring us some outfits of your choosing if you like? Oo, we can even have our portrait painted!”

“Dia, I promise that I’m fine, you have more things to worry about than me-”

“Nonsense, MC. You’re what’s important to me, now and always. Don’t ever forget that.”

Even finished it with a hand kiss, UGH he really is a Prince Charming

Once you did return to RAD bruise free, Diavolo, being the gentleman that he is, walked with you everywhere in the beginning. Coming into the building, walking to class, lunch, even to the student council meeting, he was by your side. But he couldn’t avoid his duties forever (unfortunately), but he always made up for lost time afterwards

You never realized that when he wasn’t with you, someone else always was. Whether it be Lucifer who miraculously had spare time, or Barbatos who decided to escort you back to the castle to try a new recipe for his Lord, it was always one of them that stayed with you

Also, it never dawned on you why people were starting to be so nice to you. You thought it was because of what happened, not paying attention to how tense they would get, the fear in their eyes. You did notice that the demon who caused your fall never came back to class, and their desk is starting to collect dust...

When you did ask Diavolo about it, he just pat your head and said that what happened was unacceptable and that the demon has been dealt with accordingly.

You don’t need to hear about what really happened to them, he doesn’t want to scare you or taint your innocence! But he doesn’t mind if anyone else hears it, he’ll be more than happy to explain in full detail what happened and what will happen to demons that even think about attempting to harm you or think that he’s “too soft”. They won’t think he’s a soft ruler after that

Diavolo is a very sweet man, one that treats you as if you’re ruling by his side as his partner and one that you never have to be scared of, but even you didn’t miss the deadly glint in his eyes whenever he spoke about that demon...

But enough about that, he wants to try that new recipe that you made just for him!

He enjoys the time that he gets to spend with you, and after this, you’ll be in his company a lot more. He can’t risk having this happen again to his love- I MEAN favorite exchange student right?

#obey me x reader #obey me reader insert #obey me #obey me swd #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me mammon x reader #obey me levi x reader #obey me leviathan x reader #obey me satan x reader #obey me asmodeus x reader #obey me asmo x reader #obey me beelzebub x reader #obey me beel x reader #obey me belphegor x reader #obey me belphie x reader #obey me diavolo x reader

[shingia]

Could I request Kuroo, Bokuto, Tsukishima, Sakusa, Miya twins, and Tendou with a reader who used to self harm but was sober for a while, only to relapse after they left bc of a huge argument then please and thanks? Sorry if that’s really intense tho. And thank u for being so nice🙂💞

[𝐓𝐖] 𝐒/𝐎 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅-𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐌

ok i reaaally hope this is what you expected. i didn’t know what kind of ending you wanted but i decided that you, my friend, needed comfort, so i gave you comfort because you deserve it ❤️️

i hope reading this will make you feel better! kisses on your nose ❤️️

type : (strong) angst | word count : 4.4K

warnings : mentions of self-harm, depiction of depressive behavior (plz do not read if any of these might trigger something, i want you all to be safe <3)

⇀ 𝐤𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐨

« fuck you, kuroo. fuck. you. ». those were the last words you had told him. they had hurt, but they were nothing compared to the last words he had told you, the words that kept playing over and over in your head as you slowly felt yourself drift to your old habits again : « i’m done with you ».

was it your fault ? did you push him over the edge ? you had many questions to ask kuroo, but he wasn’t there to answer anymore. so these thoughts were left spiraling in your head as you started to lose balance between love and pain. because his love used to be the cure to your pain. so now what ? what were you supposed to do other than going back to your old habits ? you couldn’t think of any answer.

on monday morning, you woke up thirty minutes earlier because, first of all, you needed some time for the swelling of your eyes to go down, and second of all, you needed to mentally prepare yourself to see kuroo again. it had been two days since your fight, and he had not manifested himself once. it seemed to be well and truly over ; and that thought had been the main cause of the collapsing of your mental strength over the last two days.

during your first period, although you were avoiding his gaze, kuroo couldn’t help but cast glances in your direction. because he knew you better than anyone, and he could only imagine how hurt you were.

but he really started to get suspicious when he noticed you were not raising your hand to correct today’s homework. he had helped you with that last week, and you had told him that you felt confident enough to propose your correction to the class ; which rarely happened. so why weren’t you raising your hand ?

he had a bad feeling about the answer… he didn’t care about giving you quick glances anymore, he just stared at your arms until one of your movements would make your sleeve reveal just a few inches of your skin.

and he was horrified to have his fears confirmed. the cuts that he had so often kissed while holding you in his arms were back. and he knew it was all because of him. and although his first thought was that it was not his job to heal them anymore, he couldn’t bring himself to act unbothered.

he had loved you for long enough to know that you needed him right now. or maybe he still loved you ? it was not clear, but it didn’t matter right now. what mattered was that he needed you to listen to what he wanted to say, even if that was the last thing you accepted to hear from him.

« y/n, we need to talk » he told you once you got out of the classroom. you looked up at him ; his face was unusually austere. he carefully grabbed your shoulder and took you away from everyone else. 

« i can’t… i couldn’t walk out of there pretending like i didn’t see what your arms looked like » he started. « now listen, i know i fucked up, but i still care. and you still matter. whatever our relationship is doesn’t define you and most importantly, these don’t define you » he pointed at your wrists, his brows furrowed with concern. « so please, i’m begging you, keep in mind that i’m always here if you need to talk. always. and if you don’t want to talk to me that’s fine, but in that case, please find someone else. for the sake of everything we've been through together, don't let everything you’ve accomplished go to waste » and he wrapped his arms around you in the strongest hug he had ever given.

⇀ 𝐛𝐨𝐤𝐮𝐭𝐨

it had already been a week. and bokuto had absolutely no idea what to do. call you ? text you ? probably not. what would he even say ? « hi, sorry for slamming the door in your face after screaming at you for fifteen minutes. am i still your boyfriend ? » awful idea.

and while bokuto was pondering every option he had left to get in touch with you, you were left in the darkest place of your mind. and you hadn’t felt like that in a few months. because bokuto used to always be there, his number on speed dial whenever you feared you would relapse. and thanks to his unwavering support, you hadn’t. but was there anything in this world that was truly unwavering ? you really started to doubt it. and now that bokuto had left you, what could carry the pain away ? whatever the answer was, you were in no condition to think rationally about it.

you remembered how he used to celebrate every improvement in your mental health, how strong of a cornerstone he had been for you. and just the fact of not knowing where you guys were at after your fight was enough to make you feel like you were drowning again.

you were overflowing with emotions that you thought you couldn’t control, and apart from holding on tight to bokuto’s chest, you only knew one way to feel better.

you loved him, you really did. but after a week without hearing from him, you started to think that maybe his feelings were not as real as he pretended they were. and how could you not blame him for that ? for letting you down so fast ?

curled up in your bed, tears were streaming down your face ; because you felt weaker than you had promised yourself to be. you were exhausted, in every sense of the word, yet there was still a tiny bit of strength left in your body that made you grab your phone and open your conversation with bokuto. the last message was a bitter pill to swallow : « no problem babe, i’m always here for you ». it was just a week ago but it felt like an eternity had passed. your fingers started slowly typing on the screen and immediately hit sent, knowing that you would second guess your message if you re-read it. « can we talk? », just three words, it was the maximum you could get off of your chest right now.

but bokuto did not answer. for the simple reason that he was too busy catching his breath in front of your door. he frantically knocked, not stopping until you opened it.

« oh my god, are you okay ?! » he exclaimed, patting your entire body like he wanted to make sure you were well and truly there. and once he had made sure of that, he pulled you against his chest like he wasn’t planning on letting you go ever again. « did- did you… » he ventured to ask, not wanting to finish his sentence precisely because he was afraid of your answer. but when he heard you let out a muffled sob against his chest, his fears instantly got replaced by guilt. more than he had ever felt. « you’re alright, i got you. i got you now… » he murmured, his hands stroking your back tenderly. « we’ll get through this together, ok ? we’ll show the world how strong you are. because i know you are. »

⇀ 𝐬𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐬𝐚

yes, sakusa had run away. and he was glad he had. because he knew how hurtful he could be with his words, and he had enough respect not to inflict that to you. but as he made his way back home, doubt started installing in his head. what if he shouldn’t have left you after your fight ? he immediately shook the thought away. no, you were good now. you were better. nothing like who you were when he met you.

and sakusa could be very convincing when he needed to, including with himself. that’s why he didn’t get in touch with you for the next three days, because he thought you just needed some time for yourself.

but when he received a worried text from komori when he got out of the gym after practice, he changed his mind within seconds. « i just saw y/n, something felt off. maybe you should check on them ? ».

sakusa felt a wave of guilt descend upon of him. of course he should. it was his fucking job to offer you his help, even when he thought you didn’t need it. and especially when he knew what you had already been through. he cursed himself all the way to your house, where he could only imagine how lonely you felt. not wanting to waste any more time, he pulled out his phone to call you. and heaved a relieved sigh at the sound of your voice : « hey, are you ok ? like, right now are you doing ok ? » he asked hastily. 

you sat on your bed and rubbed your strained eyes, fiddling with the cloth of your t-shirt. « i- yeah, i’m good… » you lied. « i’m at your door, open up please, i gotta see you » he said before hanging up.

you knew sakusa was not going to take no for an answer. so, after wiping your tears and putting on a long-sleeved hoodie and sweatpants, you went to open the door. 

« hi… » you uttered quietly. sakusa didn’t dare to move. he had been so determined to get to your house, but now that you were standing in front of him, he wasn’t so sure of what he was supposed to do.

you decided to be the first to break the silence,  « i’m okay. and i’m sorr… » « sorry. about everything. » he pre-empted you. seeing you like this made him fear the worst. so he gently grabbed your wrists like he wanted to hold your hands, when in reality he just wanted to confirm his thoughts. and when he saw you stiffen at his touch, he knew he had guessed right. « come here » he whispered before going in for a hug. but you pulled away at the last second. « can we… go to my room ? i- i feel better there » you asked timidly.

he didn’t even answer and simply wrapped his arm around your shoulder before taking you to your bedroom where you immediately curled up on your bed. you didn’t want sakusa to see you like this, but you were in no position to fight back anymore. quietly, he laid beside you and pulled you in a warm embrace, just tight enough to let you know that he got you now. 

when he noticed you were trying to find something to say, to explain yourself, he shushed you with a kiss on your shoulder. « you don’t have to speak if you don’t want to. but i want you to listen to me very carefully : don’t ever think that you’re back to square one now. you’ve dealt with this before, you’ve grown and you can do it again as long as you promise yourself to get back up. and i won’t leave your side. you deserve so much more than what you give yourself, and i’m here to remind you »

⇀ 𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐚

tsukishima’s pride was important to him, everyone knew it. the only thing he valued as much as his pride was probably you. but during your arguments, the scale always tipped in his pride’s favor, you simply could not compete.

but surprisingly enough, it was you who had told him to go away after getting in the most heated argument you had ever had. and he didn’t have to be told twice : you had shattered his beloved pride, and he was not going to stay here begging for your mercy.

he still loved you, but he also had no problem ignoring you at school. yet for some reason, this argument didn’t sit well with him. well, no arguments ever sat well with him, but today felt different. 

ignoring you was one of the most hurtful things tsukishima could ever do to you. he had helped you through so much, and suddenly becoming a stranger to him was slowly bringing you back down.

« it’s just one time, i won’t relapse » you thought the first time you tried to cope with the pain the way you used to. but you feared it wouldn’t be just one time. you were diving into what you had said goodbye to ; but now that tsukishima was ignoring you, there was no one to stop you from falling, right ? 

well, that would have been true if he hadn’t kept a discreet but attentive eye on you. which is why he knew very well that you had gone back to your old habits. and he needed to do something about it.

but he wasn’t good with words, and he feared that actions would not be enough this time. he needed something more permanent, something that you could keep with you all the time. so he decided to do something he had never done before, and gave it to you as soon as it was done…

receiving a letter from tsukishima was definitely not something you expected. but what was written in it was even less expected.

« i’m not the best at this kind of stuff, but… i really need you to stop being so hard on yourself. i know it’s not something i usually say, but i fell in love with you because i learned to love your imperfections. and you have to start doing the same about yourself. please. and if you need to be held, to be listened to, i’ll be there. but i wanted to write something because i want you to be able to read this as much as you need, as much as you want. i want you to get better, but even more than that, i want you to want to get better. you can do it, i believe in you more than you can think. please come to me if you need it. i love you ».

the tears that streamed down your face had a salty taste, but for the first time in a long time, they tasted like hope as well. and the next time you came face to face with yourself and your thoughts, your eyes found find their way back to the letter, and you knew that there were people that still believed in you, counted on you, loved you. tsukki was just the first one of a long list. (<3)

⇀ 𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐮

he had been there through everything. more than you would have imagined. which is probably why you felt desperately empty ever since he got so angry at you that he left without looking back. but at the time, it simply had not crossed his mind that you would suffer so deeply from his words.

but you did. a lot. and that was the reason you found yourself crying on your bedroom floor, not even able to be mad at anyone but yourself.

still oblivious to the true damage, atsumu thought he could get back to you by pretending like nothing had happened. he often did that because, to him, what was in the past belonged in the past. except that today, and in your situation, it could not work.

« wanna grab something to eat ? » was the first text he sent you. and you didn’t feel like answering, so you didn’t. « are you still mad ? i’m not <3 » was the second one. but you still didn’t feel like answering. maybe it was your fault ? maybe you were overreacting while you were just supposed to play it cool like he did ? but you would have played it cool if you knew how to.

when atsumu decided to go to your house, it was initially to apologize in person. he had not planned on seeing you looking the way you did, which was a heart-wrenching reminder of the dark period of time you had gotten through together. but here he was, standing in front of you, feeling more helpless than ever. he knew too well the look into your eyes, one that he hadn’t seen in a long time. 

he dropped the pack of snacks he was holding in his hands before cupping your cheeks. « oh no, no, no. i fucked up, didn’t i ? i am… so so so sorry. c-can you forgive me ? » he stammered, absolute panic in his eyes as he took you in his arms. why would i have to forgive you ? you thought. i’m the only one to blame. 

but atsumu seemed to also hear the things you didn’t say, and he refused to let you feel guilty for anything. ever so gently, he took your hands in his before placing the softest kisses on your wrists that were still covered by the sleeves of your hoodie. « i probably won’t ever forgive myself for leaving you alone. but promise me you’ll always come to me if you need help, or any kind of support, hugs, kisses… you name it. i’ll be your coping mechanism, and i’ll be the best you’ve ever had »

and he kept holding you for a long time, at least until he felt your breath become steady again. and if you thought atsumu was doting before, prepare yourself to be even more amazed now.

⇀ 𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮

fighting with osamu was not frequent, fortunately. but when fights occured, it was bad. really bad. he tended to think that you could endure as much as atsumu when it came to harsh words ; but you couldn’t.

kind of like his brother, samu had a tendency to leave the past behind and pretend like nothing happened when he got in touch with you after a fight. and that’s what he did a week ago, after one of the biggest arguments that you had ever had.

too happy that he seemed to still want to be your boyfriend, you didn’t have the courage to tell him how you had gone back to your old habits during the time you were on bad terms. but as they said, old habits died hard, and your destructive thoughts were still very present even when things seemed to have gotten back to normal.

yet samu was not blind, and he noticed that you were acting a bit more distant since last week, since your fight. but he still thought that your problems could be solved by just keeping on pretending like everything was ok. and eventually, things would turn out ok by themselves, right ?

you were laying on his bed, turned on your side as you scrolled on your phone. usually you would have had an arm swung around him, but you didn’t want to take any risk, so you kept your distances. 

« hey, come closer baby. we’ve barely cuddled today » he told you before lazily wrapping his arm around your waist.

feeling nervous, you swallowed the lump in your throat before putting your phone on the nightstand. « i’m going to sleep, samu », you said, stretching your arm to turn off the light.

but he was quicker than you and gently grabbed your arm, careful not to apply any pressure on it. his eyes widened, he had barely seen your wrist but it had been enough to notice that the scars were recent. he put two and two together and looked at you dead in the eyes ; you looked ashamed, and it broke his heart. « when did y- was it because of me ? » he asked, his voice faintly shaking. you pulled away from his hand and held your arm against you, sinking in the pillow. « no, of course not. it’s nothing » you breathed out, looking away to avoid his gaze. but he was quick to make you face him again, with a slight pressure of his fingertips on your red cheeks. « there’s only one thing that i hate more than seeing you in pain. it’s knowing that i caused this pain. let me help you, y/n. please. you deserve to feel better. i’m sorry i didn’t give you as much love as you gave me. and i’m sorry for behaving like an asshole when you needed me. just… fuck, i just love you ».

tears started prickling the corner of your eyes, but he saw you trying to hold them back. with the most gentle look in his eyes, he proposed to turn off the light if it made you feel better. and you nodded ; you knew that you’d eventually had to have a face-to-face conversation with him. it was the only way to get better. but right now you just wanted to be held without thinking about what he’d see. or wouldn’t see.

so he turned off the light and let yourself get comfortable in bed before wrapping you in his embrace once again. his soft breath against your neck was obviously not enough to make all your pain magically go away, but it let you know that he had your back. and it was all that mattered.

⇀ 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐮

« i don’t want to do this anymore, y/n ! » tendou had yelled, making this sentence the peak of your argument. six words, and they were on replay in your minds since four days. you couldn’t believe that almost two years of relationship had ended so abruptly. but you had to face the truth : tendou had enough of you. and obviously you linked that to the turbulent start of your relationship. you knew it hadn’t been easy for him to deal with your self harm when you had just started dating. yet he had managed to make you feel so much better that you had been sober for about a year, all thanks to him. but maybe you hadn’t been grateful enough ? maybe that was why he had decided to end things now ?

the only thing you knew for sure was that he was gone, and you felt like you had lost your anchor.

you had spent the weekend in your dorm, and it had been a painful weekend. so painful that you did not get out of bed on monday morning ; it was just too much to handle. deep down you knew that you were not handling your problems the right way… and escaping reality was not viable.

but little did you know that tendou wanted nothing more than to see you again in the hallways and finally have a heart-to-heart conversation with you. and when he didn’t see you in class, he started to freak out. he knew how it was to feel alone and rejected ; and he started to fear that he had caused you to feel exactly that. so he did not follow his friends to the cafeteria at lunch and headed to your dorm instead, hoping that you’d open the door.

and you did. thank god you did. but panic started bubbling in his chest when his eyes laid on your face.

« alright, come here » he told you with a forced smile before pulling you in his embrace. truthfully, he didn’t feel like smiling, but he knew that the last thing you needed was to think you made him feel bad. when he was with you, his main goal was to cheer you up, he’d deal with himself later. « angel… did you do it again ? » he asked, his tone being the furthest thing from judgmental. you muttered a quiet apology, your face buried in his white uniform jacket. but something lingered on your mind. angel ? it sounded right, but you knew it wasn’t. not anymore. « don’t apologize ! the only person you owe an apology to is yourself » he whispered against your ear. slowly, he put his hands on your waist before bringing you to your bed where he sat right next to you, still refusing to take his hands off of your body.

 « tendou, you don’t have to do this… » you muttered, knowing that you weren’t supposed to be this close anymore. « i’m your ex, you don’t owe me anything ».

he immediately looked down to meet your eyes, an eyebrow raised in confusion. « your ex ? wh- you think i broke up with you ? y/n, when i said that i didn’t want to do this anymore, i was talking about fighting with you ! i’m sorry, i should have texted you these last few days, but i thought you wouldn’t want to talk to me »

a tear rolled down your cheek. tendou’s words sounded like heaven right now. maybe you weren’t alone after all ?

« now, do you need me to get you something ? band-aids ? anything ? » he asked, caressing your hair with his right hand. you nodded your head no and kept your head buried in his neck, like you were waiting for his scent to go to your head. « i know you’ve been through a lot, and i’m proud of you no matter what. but, you know… even though i have enough love for the both of us, i’d really want you to have enough love for yourself » he said and placed a kiss on top of your head, waiting for you to say something. but he sensed that you were not ready yet. and he was ok with that, the last thing he wanted to do was to pressure you. it was going to be a long path, but you had already done it, and you were going to do it again. and he’d be there the whole time.

ok so if you’ve read until there it probably means that you needed comfort (i hope i have given you enough) : so if you are in this situation yourself, PLEASE don’t be afraid to ask for help, you can and you will get better. i’m rooting for you like saeko roots for karasuno ❤️️

@toworuu (didn’t forget about you ^^)

#haikyuu #haikyuu angst #hq angst #hq comfort #haikyuu comfort #bokuto x trader #kuroo x trader #tsukishima x reader #sakusa x reader #osamu x reader #atsumu x reader #tendou x reader

[siriusmydeer]

🌗congrats on 800 followers!! could I have a blurb -angst prompt 24 please?

her maroon lipstick

sirius black x fem!reader

summary: sirius looked at everyone but you

word count: 1.1k

warnings: cheating, hinted wolfstar, blackinnon bc that deserves a warning, unrequited love, kissing, swearing, mentions of drugs and alcohol, angst, self doubt, insecurity, mentions of sex

a/n: if u couldnt tell inwas feeling mean today and isa told me to break her heart so: *que jazz hands*

you loved sirius black— maybe even adored the boy, but you knew you probably loved him a little bit too much. he loved you as well, he at-least told you he loved you, and you didn’t want to presume he was a liar. he had always looked at you, your looks, your body, your face but he never had truly seen you; your soul, your essence, you’re entire being.

he was always gazing at someone else entirely, you didn’t wanna know it, or see it, but you did. it didn’t matter who he was looking at but it definitely wasn’t you. wether it was his lycanthrope of a bestfriend, or the local gryffindor beater marlene fucking mckinnon, they weren’t you.

throughly the same frequent sentences were pushed into the back of your mind with the same coherent words, ‘it’s fine, they’re just hanging out.’ or ‘it’s nothing, don’t worry about it.’ but those were simply just your excuses for him.

that night before a quidditch game you had been blown off, yet a-fucking-gain. you truly weren’t surprised, you expected his neglect. but the feeling of dejection truly lingered through every nerve in your bloodstream. you weren’t the number one in his life; you were a backup, a second option, or your personal least favourite.... just not enough.

because marlene, was more important. he had to go study with her— i mean since when does sirius fucking study? he simply doesn’t, he doesn’t study, and he doesn’t fucking care. but still reminding yourself, ‘it’s fine, they’re just going over stuff.’ i mean even james and peter had perceived something you were unaware of.

a day later, a gryffindor win— against slytherins of course, a significant calling for celebration. unconcerned you threw on a simple outfit, nothing too fancy, school was overrated as it is and a mini-league quidditch game certainly didn’t deserve a special outfit no matter how many times your friends detested to your statements. as soon as the game had ended, the raven-haired males eyes didn’t search for you rather a tall brunette with pearly white teeth and dark maroon lipstick.

sirius of course had his troublesome past, you knew of his family, and his sexual-run arounds that went to hogwarts. it wasn’t a shock to you, you had just denied yourself to be one of his easy people. but to your pure-promised heart, you didn’t just become one of them you became the one. not to love, but simply to fuck.

you were just company when nobody else could be, and even though you swore not too; you let yourself because you fell for him, or maybe it was his mask of flirty gestures and lingering kisses.

you made your way to the gryffindor tower, the hallways dead silent to the point where you could hear the drop of a pin or the swish of someone’s hair. the seventh years succeeding in performing a muffling charm that barred any supervisor from suspicion of a party.

as soon as the portrait whole swung at your mumble of the password you were met with immense clamour and uproar from all the celebrating students. the potent smell of marijuana and fire whisky hitting your nose, immediately scowling at the first whiff of the aroma.

couples had been scattered and sprawled across the deep-vermillion coloured couches. all noise drowned out by the deafening amount of rock music, picked by sirius no doubt.

you knew in the nook and crannies of your mind you should’ve scrabbled this together, it should of been suspected, or rather even bound to occur. but nobody should ever expect to see their boyfriend drunkenly making out with another woman, ever.

you didn’t want to cry, or look weak, i mean you felt ashamed. we’re you not good enough? we’re you had to him? did you not check up on him enough? but maybe it wasn’t on you— maybe it was on him.

maybe he was the one who fucked up— he didn’t treat you good enough. he didn’t spend enough time with you. all in that moment you felt— was the burning bitch of an emotion, rage. pure and simple rage.

you felt the thump and click in your feet as you belligerently marched over to the kissing bunch, his arms taking a harsh grip at her waist and the aroma of alcohol abundantly clear as you got closer.

you jabbed a few times on his shoulder, the rustled leather familiar underneath the pad of your pointer finger. the boy pulled away with a drunken-grimace, prepared to shout at anyone who had interrupted him until he saw it; your face filled with abundant anger.

oh shit— you had caught him right in the act.

“y/n, listen—“ the boy started before your eyebrows had creased in immense frustration and anger of his foolish excuses. choosing to ultimately speak first and think later.

“no, you listen sirius! you’ve treated me like absolute shit, like i’m the last fucking option in your palm— like i’m not your girlfriend that you have confided in, and kissed, and fucking slept with! i really don’t know who you think you are, but you can’t walk around acting like you own the place when you can’t get one damn thought straight. so you can’t come to me as a last option anymore, you can go stick your player bullshit right your own damn arse!” your voice was heaving in such anger of him, finally opting to pick yourself— not to be a second choice, not anymore.

after your monologue built over months and months of culpability for feeling like you couldn’t never be enough for him, and irritability that he had never truly cared was full forced in one speech cutting him off for good.

you quickly spun around the mahogany floor, striding directly out of the red and gold common room; you heard the quick pad of footsteps behind you whilst walking in the hallway, swivelling around again seeing your befuddled and tipsy ex-boyfriend try and catch up with your exasperated steps.

a deep shade of maroon smudged down the curvature of his lips and the planes of his olive-toned chin, yeah, fuck you sirius.

“now what the absolute fuck do you want now?” you whisper-shouted in the midst of the hallway, trying not to alert the attention of filch or professor mcgonagall.

“i love you, y/n, please—“ the boy attempted to plead in the midst of his sentence and deeply failing whilst slurring his words, the alcohol abstinently pining through his nervous system showcasing his bleary vision through his viewpoint; venturing for your forgiveness, but your decision had been made the moment he was caught locking lips with the gryffindor beater.

“tell me that when you’re sober.”

taglist: @famdomhideout @hufflepogue @dear-luna @luvvninaz @miraclesoflove @black-like-my-soul @fific7 @wisedreamcatcher @kittykylax @ronbrokemyheart @aspiringsloth20 @georgeswh0re @amourtentiaa @msmb @fangouria @five-cups-of-coffee @dracofknmalfoy @emmaev @serenitywilderness

#sirius black x you #sirius black x daughter!reader #sirius black x gryffindor!reader #sirius black x ravenclaw!reader #sirius black x slytherin reader #sirius black x remus lupin #sirius black x oc #sirius black x marlene mckinnon #sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius black fluff #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black fic #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter smut #harry potter

[its-deputy-caleb]

Hey hey!!

I pretty sure you know what I'm here for, so I'll give two options, that way there is no pressure and you can choose whichever you feel in the mood for!!

Soft Micah, where he's drunk and feeling insecure and tells the reader why he loves them and how much they mean to him, ending with the reader being the big spoon and cuddling the rat man as he cries himself to sleep.

OR

Soft Sadie, where she confides in the reader about when she first joined the gang, how she felt when her husband was murdered, and how she never thought she'd find love again until she met the reader.

No pressure to do either! I will leave it in your talented and capable hands.

Don't forget how amazing you are and how much joy you bring with your writing.

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

sksksks you know i'm gonna do both bc i love both these asks and soft clingy micah is my literal favourite. this is a total unedited mess but its my total unedited mess and i'm just the biggest sucker for making him all mushy so pls enjoy whatever the hell this is <3333.

(ill do the sadie ask in a different post and put the link here!)

----------------------------

Today was particularly strange, not because anything extraordinary happened but because your sweetheart, Micah, was nowhere to be seen.

Sure he had a tendency to run off on jobs and you couldn’t spend all hours of the day together but it was unlike him to leave you to wake up alone in your shared tent.

All day he’d avoided you. Normally you’d get a coffee and slowly wake up together, planning out your day which usually involved planning your next job together but Micah was no where to be found when you woke up with nothing but blankets around you.

He wasn’t loitering around the outskirts of camp, nor was he by the campfire cleaning his weapons. It was if he well and truly disappeared, but you knew who Micah was and you knew if he didn’t want to be found he wouldn’t be.

With that you left your search, busying yourself with chores and helping around camp and knowing that Micah would make his appearance when he wanted to be found. It was merely a matter of time, nothing more.

-

The first thing you noticed when you were returning to camp from doing a late night run into town for ammunition was that Baylock had been hitched with the other horses, something that wasn’t there this morning.

Your eyes scanned around camp, noticing instantly that the flaps to your tent were pulled shut which only happened when either of you were in there. You placed down the crate of ammo you were carrying, dusting your hands before walking over and slowly opening the flaps to let yourself inside.

The first thing you noticed was Micah sitting up abruptly with that sounded like a sniffle. He shuffled around, clearly trying to make himself presentable. Slowly, you held your hands out to him, clearly reading the almost heavy feeling to the room.

“Hey now… been looking for you, where’d you go?”

You sit down beside him, keeping your voice soft as if you were calming a spooked horse. You notice amongst the pillows and blankets the empty bottles of whiskey and his green neckerchief which was stained with his tears.

“Oh Mikes, c'mere…”

You wrap your arms around him, hearing a choked sob slip from him as you run your hands through his stringy hair. Your other hand slips under his disheveled and unbuttoned shirt to rub slow circles along his back as he cried into your neck.

Sobs and little whimpers leave him as you hold him, littering soft kisses in his hair and shushing him as best you could.

“It’s alright Micah... I’ve got you now.”

You pull him back slightly, holding his face in your hands as your thumb wiped away his tears that kept falling from his eyes.

“I’m not going anywhere, just let it out sweetheart— I’m here.”

You watched as his bottom lip quivered and other rush of sobs fell from his mouth. He buried his face back into your neck, his arms wrapping tightly around you as if you’d ever let him go.

“You should go somewhere...anywhere but here— don’t know why you put up with an ugly old sod like me. Yer too good for me— deserve someone better— don’t waste yer time with me.”

Micah’s voice cracked at least twice, his words broken up with sobs and cries as he spilled out exactly what had been bothering him all day.

Your heart broke when you heard him, wrapping your arms around his back as you held him flushed against you.

“Hey hey don’t you say that, you are enough for me okay? I love you and there’s no one I love more in this world than I do you.”

Micah shakes his head, burying his face in your shoulder even further as tears soak your shirt.

“Look at me Micah…”

Slowly and reluctantly he pulls away, resting his elbows on either side of your legs as he still attempts to hide in your chest. You brush the hair from his temples that had been stuck down by streaks of tears, gently tucking his hair behind his ears as you waited for him to look at you.

“I want you to know that you’re not a waste of time… every day I get to spend with you makes me happy— you make me happy Micah.”

The look Micah gives you is one of pure hope and adoration. His crisp blue eyes are wide as you speak, the colour deepened from all the redness surrounding them. More stray tears fall from the corners of his eyes although they’re much softer now, his sobbing slowing to something more tame as he listens to your soothing voice.

You lean down, placing a gentle kiss to his lips and you note how he’s obviously chewed at his bottom lip sometime today. Micah practically melts into you, clearly in his softer clingy mood which always followed him whenever he got emotional and insecure.

Sitting up, you trace the scar on his chin as he leans into your hand like a scared little cat caught in the rain.

“And you’re certainly not ugly.”

Micah instantly shakes his head, sitting up and trying to pull himself out of your embrace but you don’t let him get far. You come up behind him and wrap your arms around his tummy, resting your head over his shoulder as you watch him intertwine your hands together.

You kiss his cheek, leaning your head against his as you cuddle him.

“Yes you are— you’re my pretty boy, my sweetheart, my Mikey.”

You can hear him smile although he tries to hide it under his hair that’s flopped in front of his face that also served to hide the blush he had.

For a while you sit together just like that. Micah aimlessly fiddles with your fingers in his lap while you watch from over his shoulder, occasionally leaning down and pressing kisses all over his neck and shoulder.

“Love you too ya’know…ya always know the right things to say and ya always know how to make me feel loved. I’m real lucky to have you— even when I don’t deserve you, I’m a real lucky man indeed.”

Micah practically fidgets with your hands through his whole little confession and you squeeze them to reassure him, something he happily returns with desperate squeezes of his own.

“I love you more than you could kno—“

A yawn cuts through Micah’s words, his exhaustion (and whiskey) finally catching up to him as he leans into your hold. The sound makes you giggle, his yawn always making you smile at just how adorable it was no matter how badly he denied it.

“Common sleepyhead, bet you’re real tired.”

Again he looks at you with those wide hopeful eyes, although this time they’re much more sleepy as you roll him to lie down with you. You shuffled the empty bottles to the corner of the tent, placing his neckerchief beside his hat so the two of you had more room.

“You’ll stay?”

You smile, giving him a soft kiss before draping the blanket over the two of your and spooning up behind him. Usually he’d protest at being the little spoon but not today. Now Micah is nothing short of exhausted and you knew, without him having to say it, that he just needs to be cuddled and littered with affection.

“Course I am, won’t find me anywhere else but right here with you.”

You kiss the back of Micah’s neck before burying your face into his shoulder blades. Your hands ran soothing circles over his tummy and chest, waiting and feeling his breath even out. You didn’t move until you heard his soft snoring, finally allowing yourself to fall asleep too with a smile on your face and your arms wraps protectively around Micah.

Eventually, at some point in the night Micah had rolled to tuck his head in your neck and you woke with a large amount of dribble stuck to your shirt (something that made Micah go the colour of a tomato) but you didn’t mind a bit as long as he knew just how much you loved him.

#soft micah is my FAV #micah bell #micah bell x reader #soft micah hours #soft rat 🥺🥺🥺 #micah bell imagine #rdr2 #rdr2 writing #rdr2 headcanons #red dead redemption 2

[nillabeam]

strange magic

synopsis: sex pollen quirk? sounds fake. until you realize it isn’t. it’s totally real. not only is it totally real but it’s effecting you AND your fellow pro hero, Ground Zero. 

pairings: bakugoxf!reader

warnings: it’s smut so 18+, language but that’s a given, slight violence and a brief blood mention, characters are also aged up

a/n: based on this request!! it’s a lot different than libido in terms of like, content lmao, but the situation is similar sort of?? idk hopefully it’s not completely terrible bc i felt like i was a bit rusty writing this?? also excuse my overall writing ability and bad grammar <333 also there’s like a little tiny bit of fluff at the end!!! 

“Give up already!” 

Ground Zero barks, threatening sparks emitting from his palms. He was standing a few feet away from a woman, hysterical and clearly enraged by something he honestly didn’t care enough about to remember. Something about a cheating husband, maybe? Whatever, one thing he did know was that this lady just stabbed a guy in the middle of a popular park and if he didn’t hurry the poor cheating bastard would be dead soon. 

The woman pressed her heel into the victims chest, he yelped pathetically in response. “I said get away from me! This son of a bitch is going to get everything he deserves!” 

“Not happenin’ lady. Bastard or not you can’t just fucking stab people because you feel like it!” Ground Zero snaps back, he shifts his weight forward. 

“He has to pay! I’ll make him pay!” She screams, turning the knife in her hand, her heel digging further into the victims chest, it was becoming increasingly apparent that Ground Zero had to make his move soon. 

“Shut up and listen! Drop the knife or you’re gonna end up worse than that asshole!” He threatens, muscles tensing, ready to explode forward and overwhelm the woman if she didn’t comply. 

“I’ll slit his goddamn throat don't you da-” She’s interrupted by your hand gripping her wrist bending it backwards in an unnatural direction. The movement makes her cry out and drop the blade. She tries to take the knife back but a swift jab of your elbow to her nose sends her reeling backward onto the floor. 

“You bitch! That really fucking hurt!” Her hands grip her face, trying to suppress the heavy flow of blood now streaming from her broken nose. 

“Shut up! You should have listened to me when you had the chance!” Ground Zero is suddenly beside you, he extends a fist and you meet it with yours, resulting in a friendly fist bump. “Nice elbow, Rookie.” He comments, impressed.

“Nice diversion.” You reply, leaning down to restrain the woman. “The police will be here soon so we should help-” You’re interrupted by a strange purple mist clouding your vision. 

“What the hell is this shit?” Ground Zero asks, fanning his hand in front of his face, trying to push away the mist. “Her quirk?” You suggest, landing a quick precise blow to the woman’s neck, incapacitating her. The mist dissipates, having only reached you and the other hero. 

“Hope it’s not some kind of defensive response. Like poison or something.” You worry for a second before standing, waving the remaining fumes away. “It’ll take more than some fucking purple bullshit to kill me.” You squint your eyes at him, an amused smirk finding your lips. “That sounds like something someone who gets killed by purple bullshit would say.” You quip, amused despite the looming danger of being exposed to an unknown quirk. A devious smirk finds his lips. 

“If it kills me, it’s killing you too so I guess I’ll see you in hell, asshole.” 

----------------

“They said they’ll get back to us once they figure it out. Also they said we can go home but we have to stay put, since we feel okay, oh, and also to call if we suddenly feel like we’re dying.” You explain, clicking the comm. in your ear off. 

“Great. So we can die at home instead.” He mocks, rolling his eyes. You lift your arms above your head to stretch them, sore from a day of hero work. “I’m perfectly fine with going home early, maybe I won’t die and I can catch up on laundry.” You move past him toward the locker rooms, more than ready to change out of your hero costume. 

“Oi, Rookie!” He calls out. 

You turn to face him, still walking backwards toward your destination. 

“Good work today.” 

You can feel your cheeks heat up at the compliment. 

-----------------

Once you finally changed into your civilian clothes you walk into the lobby, distracted, hand in your purse fishing for your phone. You smack into something hard. “O-ow.” You mumble, scrunching up your face in discomfort, hand reaching up to rub your nose trying to alleviate some the pain. 

“Watch it, Rookie.” 

The voice is familiar and you realize you’ve hit a person. More specifically, Ground Zero. Or Bakugo, as you knew him when the two of you weren’t busy being heroes. “Bakugo, sorry I was-” You un-scrunch your face so you could see properly. You should have closed your eyes and ran away instead because the sight in front of you would prove to be too much for your stupid brain to handle. 

He stood before you, bag slung easily over his shoulder, the fabric of his expensive looking dress shirt clung perfectly to his impressive chest and biceps. Your eyes trail down the length of his lean body, his other hand shoved into his dress pants, perfectly ironed, and the way they showed off his thick powerful thighs nearly had you drooling. It’s becomes painfully obvious that you’re ogling him. 

You’d forgotten there was a staff meeting earlier that morning and he was dressed nicer than usual. Yet, you’d seen him before all dressed up like this, so why was the sight of him making you feel hot now? 

“My eyes are up here, pervert.” 

His gruff voice snaps you out of your trance, you snap your head up to meet his fierce stare. Your entire face now covered in a thick blush. “I-I wasn’t looking at anything-” You lie, pushing past him. He takes a second to do some looking of his own, his eyes fixed on the swell of your ass as you walk away from him. 

You stand impatiently outside the agency, fiddling with your phone, trying to push the image of Bakugo’s perfect body our of your mind. You take a quick look over your shoulder, making sure the blonde hadn’t followed you out. The sound of a honk made you turn attention to the company car that pulled up ready to take you home and save you from your own embarrassment. 

Sliding into the backseat you offer a nervous smile, “S-Sorry thank you-” You’re interrupted by the force of someone pushing you into the space of the empty seat next to you. “Move over, Rookie.” The voice makes you tense, and you lose your balance falling back awkwardly into the empty seat. Your hands moving to tug the hem of your skirt down as not to expose yourself. 

“W-What?” You sit up properly, adjusting in your seat. “Get your own car.” Your tone laced with false confidence immediately ruined by his ruby orbs peering down on you. 

“Quit whining.” He snaps, shoving you further over with his large frame. “Drive.” He instructs and to your horror the car starts moving. You push against him with both hands, shoving him back over to his side. “Keep your dumb giant body over there.” He lets out an amused ‘tch’ and leans back in his seat. A stretch of awkward silence fills the air and it takes a second for you to relax in your seat. 

There’s an obvious tension between you two, it’s thick and heavy and it makes Bakugo’s chest tighten. He decides against his better judgement, to find out if you were feeling just as fucking needy as he was. 

Bakugo keeps his attention fixed on the window, but experimentally spreads his legs, his knee hitting yours. You take the bait like a fool. Shifting away from him, your mouth opens to lecture him about personal space but your jaw snaps as your eyes fix on the prominent bulge in his slacks. It finally dawns on you that he’s not even hard, he’s just that big. 

“Shit-” You mutter out loud. Panic covers your features at your sudden lack of filter and you force yourself to look up, not surprised that Bakugo’s glaring down at you. “Keep looking at me like that, Princess, and i’ll get the wrong idea.” The pet name makes you rub your legs together in anticipation, why were you being so desperate right now? Suddenly, you felt the overwhelming urge to rip those stupid pants right off of his body and slip his cock in your mouth. 

“I’m not!” You blurt out the obvious lie, covering your flushed face before smacking your head on the window in a feeble attempt to physically knock the sinful thoughts out of your mind. You were finding it increasingly difficult to focus on anything but the man beside you, he let out a dark chuckle at your embarrassment.

You glance over again and he rolls his hips slightly, purposefully, as he notices you sneaking another peek. “Oi!” He grips your face in his hand, roughly squeezing your cheeks together, you whimper at his force and you see his eyes widen a bit at the sound.

“What did I just fucking say, Princess?” You move your hands up to pry at his wrist to loosen his grip but he won’t budge. Your eyes betray you and you look down again. You swear his pants are even tighter then before and your tongue rolls out of your mouth at the sight, practically salivating.

“Oh fuck-“ Bakugo groans unable to keep himself from shoving his fingers into your open mouth. Your mouth shuts immediately and you begin to suck harshly against his slender digits. “Shit, you’re so fucking needy.” He began rhythmically pushing his fingers deeper into your mouth, eliciting a gag as he reached the back of your throat. You were actually drooling now, all over yourself and his hand, but you continue to take his fingers greedily. They actually tasted better than you could have imagined, they had a slight sugary sweetness to them. 

Pulling his fingers from your warm mouth, he watches as excess saliva drips out, you unable to stop it due to his vice grip on your cheeks. His gaze darkens at the sight and he’s looking at you with a hungry need that makes you rub your legs together. Leaning forward enough to feel his breath fan your face, he smirks darkly, chewing his bottom lip in anticipation. 

“Such a mess for me already and I haven’t even touched you yet.” He teases, his nose brushes against yours and you lean forward, whining when he pulls back just enough that he’s just out of reach. You clutch the fabric of his dress shirt in both hands, trying to pull him closer to you. “Bet you’d like that huh, Princess?” he asks, and you can’t help but nod like an idiot. You feel his grip on your face loosen a little. 

His tongue lolls from his mouth slightly, per his instincts and he leans in, unable to control himself any longer, ready to taste that cute mouth of yours when the driver clears his throat rather loudly.  

The two of you freeze, hyperaware of your surroundings. Bakugo pulls his hands away and you nearly fall forward. 

“We’ve arrived, Miss.” 

You wipe the spit off of your face as quickly as you can, and you stare at Bakugo in horror. “I-uh-” Your brain fails you as you try to form coherent sentences. Grabbing your bag from the floor you scramble out of the car shouting a ‘thank you’ to the driver as you leave Bakugo in the car alone, with his lewd thoughts, raging hard on and a very polite driver. 

It takes him a second to snap out of his daze fully and by then he’s already a few blocks down the street. “Fuck-” He grips the passenger and driver side seats and leans forward so he can see the driver. “Stop the fucking car.” The driver looks confused, “S-Sir?” Bakugo is looking over his shoulder through the backseat window and the tightening in his chest worsens as he continues to get further and further away from your apartment. 

“I said stop the fucking car.” He snaps again and the driver begins to slow the vehicle down to stop. But Bakugo being the impatient little shit that he is exits the car before it can even stop properly leaving the driver thoroughly annoyed and maybe a little bit flustered. 

He starts a normal pace once he’s out of the car but it’s not long before he breaks out into a full sprint toward your place. 

You’re clutching your chest, trying to calm yourself, but the urge to slip your hands between your legs to relive some tension overwhelming you. Every time you try to think of something besides the goddamn porno scene in the car your brain throws it right back at you. 

Just as you hike up the front of your skirt ready to finish the job yourself when violent banging on your door makes you scream pathetically in surprise. You throw it open immediately. It’s Bakugo. Thank heavens it’s Bakugo. His face flushed, thin layer of sweat glistening in the afternoon light. 

“You too?” He asks breathlessly. 

“Yeah.” You respond, equally dazed. 

“Fuck.” You say simultaneously.

You blink and his large hands are gripping your biceps to pull you toward himself and his lips crash hungrily against yours. He walks you both forward enough to shut the door behind him with his foot. His hands move to your waist and he spins you both around shoving you back against the door, his palms pressing against it, arms caging you in. 

“What are you doing to me?” He asks, there’s a mixture of jest and seriousness in his voice. He tugs his dress skirt collar open exposing more of his neck and chest in an attempt to cool himself down. 

Now he’s done it. You can’t help yourself any longer, and you lick a hot stripe up his neck, before doubling back to pepper desperate kisses against it. A low throaty groan escapes him and your fingers fumble as you begin to unbutton his dress shirt completely. He watches as you undress him, his tongue darting from between his lips wetting them before he leans down to capture you in another needy kiss.  Shrugging the shirt off of his body, he begins to unbuckle his belt. 

You pull back for air, eyes wandering to his clothed member, eager for to see him, to taste him. He can see it too, the want, the need in your eyes. It matches the look in his own, vermillion and glassy. Your self control wavers again and you drop to your knees pulling his slacks down with a few good tugs, they were as tight as they looked. 

Finally, his cock is free and of course it’s bigger than you thought, you take a moment to admire it before slipping it into your mouth. He hisses at the sudden warmth, both hands tangling into your hair, the dull pain against your scalp elicits a moan and you feel him shudder as he tries to compose himself. 

“Couldn’t wait to suck my-” His breath hitches, an unintentional whimper falling from his lips as you move to take the entirety of him, cheeks hollowing as you greedily suck his cock. His hips rut involuntarily and you gag around him, the feeling of your throat around his aching cock almost send him over the edge. 

Your movements are desperate and sloppy, moaning and mewling against him like his cock is the best thing you've ever tasted. You make eye contact and notice he’s having a hard time keeping his cool. His face flushed a dark pink, panting, low groans falling easily from him lips. 

You’re honestly quite pleased with yourself. 

With a sharp tug he pulls you off of his dick, excess saliva drips from your mouth and you look up at him confused. He presses the pad of his thumb against your tongue and you open your mouth wider for him. 

“You’re being such a greedy little slut.” He comments, a smirk finding his lips, his hands move to grip the front of your dress shirt and he pulls you up off of your knees, tearing the shirt in the process. The second you’re standing he pulls you into another kiss, hot and blistering. His hands searing against the plush skin of your chest, he lingers at the lacy cups of your bra before activating his quirk just enough to burn the fabric away.  The sound startles you a bit but the feeling of his hands expertly kneading at your breasts makes it hard to concentrate on anything else. 

He pulls one hand away replacing it with his lips, when he pulls away to give your other side the same attention his teeth lightly drag against the tender bud forcing a moan to spill from your lips. Your fingers dip down under your skirt to give your mess of a pussy some much needed attention. Your frustration is only made worse when Bakugo catches your wrist in his hand. 

“Did I say you could touch yourself, slut?” He growls, you look up at him, still trying to pry your hand out of his grip. “Then you touch me.” You command weakly, voice dripping with want. 

He can wait, he can. He’s trying to act like he’s completely in control. Like he isn’t burning up with desire, like he can hold out a little longer. 

He can’t. 

“F-Fuck.” He spins you around, pinning you against the door, thankfully you were able to put your hands up to keep from slamming your face into it. He pushes your skirt up and it bunches at your waist, you hear a loud ‘rip’ and he’s tossing what’s left of your panties on the floor. He teases the head of his cock along your dripping slit, you wiggle your ass impatiently. 

He finds purchase on your hips before sliding into your soaking core. “S-So fucking tight, shit..” He mumbles to himself. You cover your mouth stifling a groan as you feel his cock stretch you out. His fingers dig into your hips harder and you’re certain they’ll bruise. He gives a shallow thrust, and you bite your lip to suppress another moan. His hands move to grip your arms where they bend, pulling them back toward him.  

“I want to hear those dirty little moans, Princess.” You can't see his face but you can hear him smirking. You don’t have time to object as he begins thrusting into you, his pace brutal, your legs nearly buckle beneath you. But he’s strong enough to keep you steady. It doesn’t take very long for your orgasm to sneak up on you, each drag of his cock only worsens the feeling of impending pleasure building inside you. “I’m so close..” You whimper breathless, and he adjusts his grip. Both of your wrists are in his hand now, still trapped behind your back, his free hand moving to rub messy circles into your puffy clit pushing you closer and closer to your release. 

“Cum for me, cum all over my cock like a good little slut.” 

His skillful and calculated thrusts, mixed with his fingers teasing your clit and his permission to cum overwhelm you. “F-Fuck, Bakugo!” Your orgasm washes over you more violently than you were expecting, you’re a mess, whining and moaning incoherent praises. The feeling of you constricting so perfectly around his cock has Bakugo not far behind you, he releases your arm, and it hurts to move them, but you press your palms flat against the door as he adjusts himself his grip returning to your hips, his thrusts become more sloppy and erratic as he’s coming undone. 

“S-shit, Princess, I- haah- I’m close.” He nearly whines, you begin to push back against him, doing what you can to match his movements. “Cum inside, Bakugo.” You command, your voice is smooth and breathy. 

“Fuck-” You groan in unison as he fills you with hot ropes of cum, he falls forward a little, one hand on your hip the other against the door to steady himself as he rides out his high, his hips still gingerly thrusting into you. When he’s finished and you’re satisfied and full, he slowly pulls out, hissing at the overstimulation. 

You both take a moment, still processing what happened. Bakugo lets out an amused huff of air and your glance over your shoulder. 

Well this was new. 

Sure, Bakugo knew his recovery time was amazing but never instantaneous. You glance down nervously at his still fully hardened cock, eyes widening at the sight. You dare to meet his gaze, hazy and piercing. 

Without warning, Bakugo slides two fingers into your still dripping cunt, you whimper, pressing against the door with more force. He chuckles darkly and it matches his devilish smirk. You were suddenly hit with the realization that your night was far from over. 

“I’m going to fucking ruin you, Princess.” 

 BONUS: 

The two of you lie in bed, exhausted and completely fucked out. You’re nearly asleep, resting comfortably on Bakugo’s firm chest as he rubs slow, soothing circles against your soft skin.  

It’s interrupted by your phone, the loud ring tone makes you both cringe. He reaches to answer it, you open your mouth to object partly since it’s your phone and partly because the loss of contact but honestly you’re too tired to truly argue about it.

“Y/N’s phone.” He answers, voice slightly hoarse. 

“Oh yeah?” He glances at you with a smug smirk. 

“I think we’ve figured that part out-” You put two and two together and realize it's probably someone from the agency informing you on the unknown quirk you were both hit with earlier. 

“Yeah, thanks for nothing.” He says his tone slightly irritated. 

“One more thing, have whatever paperwork I need to document a workplace relationship on my desk in the morning.” He instructs and hangs up the phone. Your eyes widen a little and he thinks it’s cute how hopeful you look. 

You chew your lip a little, “Is that paperwork for us?” You ask weakly, and he rolls over so he’s on top of you, arms caging you in. 

“Of course it is, stupid.” 

Your nervousness disappears the moment his lips meet yours. 

#bakugo x reader #bakugo imagine #bakugo smut #bakugou smut #bakugo katuski x reader #bnha smut #mha smut #bnha imagines #bakugou x reader #mha imagines #nillabeamwrites #realgarfieldgirl

[squeakybunni]

Earning His Trust | | Dabi x Reader

-Fandom: My Hero Academia

-Genre and Warnings: Fluff, angst to an extent; mentions of violence, minor blood warning, VERY slight nsfw mention bc reader telling him what to do makes him go awooga awooga. Manga spoilers, but nothing too severe! Just for plot relevance.

-Word Count: ~1.2k

-Summary: While tending to his wounds, Dabi comes to the realization he can trust you with the details of his past.

-Notes: SO LIKE. SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING FOR A MONTH OR SO, I'VE BEEN DEALING WITH A LOT IN MY PERSONAL LIFE LMAO- College work while being socially distant is so much PAIN but I have some free time to write abt my fav burnt boi! (No but fr he lives in my mind rent free, might as well talk abt him-) Reminder that requests are open, so feel free to leave something in my askbox !!

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This wasn’t the first time he did this. After missions, sometimes Dabi will stop by your place to seek refuge, not feeling safe anywhere else. You didn’t mind, and within a few minutes, you had a Cup of Noodles ready to go for him. Even though he’d laugh and say he didn’t need it, within a few minutes he’d shut up to eat, chopsticks in hand. The two of you would watch shows or movies until you were too tired to stay awake, either crashing on the couch or moving to your bedroom, holding each other until he left the next morning to attend to other business. However, tonight was nothing like those nights.

You heard a knock from the door, arising from the couch to open it. Nobody hardly ever knocked on your door, so you were pretty certain you’d see him standing there, hands in his pockets, asking slyly if you were lonely. Instead, Dabi stood in front of you, holding one of his arms, his blood staining his fingers, smaller cuts on his face. Before he could even think of a witty remark, you grabbed him by the collar, pulling him into your house, bombarding him with a number of questions: “What happened?” “How did this happen?” “How did you let this happen?” “Are you okay?” Your concern made the scarred man laugh laughtly, telling you, “You’re cute when you’re worried like this.” Looking at him with seriousness in your eyes, clearly having no patience for his jokes, you pointed your finger towards the couch, assertively ordering, “Sit on the couch, I’ll be right there.”

He hardly ever saw this side of you; usually, you were shy and quiet, barely even having the confidence to look him in his eye when he spoke. The idea of you telling him what to do was almost arousing, since he never experienced this from you before.

Dabi was shaken out of his thoughts when you reached for his arm, being as gentle as possible. “While I clean this, can you tell me what happened?” you ask in a hushed voice, one that he was more used to.

He moves his arm out of your grasp, leaning forward to look at you more closely. “You know, you don’t need to do this. I’m fine,” he insists, looking you in the eyes. You return the glare, pouting your cheeks ever so slightly.

“No, you’re here and you’re bleeding. I’m not just going to let you sit here and possibly hurt yourself further,” you declared, holding out one of your hands, inviting him to let you help. “Now, can I clean your arm?”

Rolling his eyes, Dabi sighed, realizing you weren’t going to give up unless he listened. “You know, you’re really annoying when you want to be, little mouse,” he scoffed playfully, placing his hand in yours.

“This is probably going to hurt a little,” you warn before gently touching a damp cloth to his arm, earning a light wince from him. Apologies pour from your lips as he chuckles breathily, leaning back onto the couch.

“You worry too much. It’s fine,” he consoles, allowing you to continue. After making sure it’s clean, you press a gauze against the cut, beginning to wrap a bandage around it to keep it secure. Dabi sits up ever so slowly as to not disturb you, beginning to get lost in thought as he watches you take care of him. Nobody had ever really done this for him, at least not recently. For years, he had been on his own, more or less. While the League of Villains were technically there, he didn’t feel secure relying on them. None of them would allow him to crash with them as long as he wanted, feed him, or dress his wounds either.

“Can I clean the ones on your face, too?” you ask, Dabi taking a second to lock eyes with you again. “Go for it,” was all he said, having no objections when you sat on his lap, taking his jaw in your hands.

“Well, damn. Didn’t expect it to go like this. You know, you really didn’t need an excuse to sit on me,” Dabi teased, snickering when you shot him a look. “You’re lucky you’re hurt,” you jokingly threatened, shutting him up by addressing the cuts on his face with the cloth.

Again, there you were, acting so soft towards him. How could he, a villain, even deserve this treatment? Nobody had dared get this close to him, and you knew what he was. You knew what he did to people. How is it that you could ignore all that and take care of him like this? Was it out of pity, or did you really love him? Why would you love him? What did he do to deserve your kindness? The way you avoid his scars with careful precision, your delicate hands on his face, trying to make his wounds better. This is a simple thing you do when you care for someone, right? If that was the case, maybe you do love him. You love him enough to trust him to stay in your house whenever he needs it.

Maybe, he should trust you too. After all, not just anyone would be so gentle with him, treating him like a human being and not the monster he thought he was.

“Mouse, have I ever told you how I got all these scars?” he blurted into the silent atmosphere, making you jump and sit back to look at him.

“No, I don’t believe so,” you answer, remembering how you’d ask and how he’d narrow his eyes and ignore you. Nothing made him shut up quite like that, and you realized very quickly to just leave well enough alone.

═════☩════☩═════

He told you everything. From his troubled family history, to the goals he used to have of becoming a hero, and his quirk not being compatible with his body. As he spoke, you held his hands, listening to every word, doing your best to keep tears from welling up in your eyes. It broke your heart to hear him explain everything that happened, wanting so badly to take all the pain away from him. You also fought the urge to smile proudly, knowing he trusted you enough to explain the things you wanted to know for so long.

You hold his arm in your hand, running your thumb over the scars so gently, comforting him as he explained. You wipe the tears from your eyes, not wanting to interrupt him.

“Wait, oh shit, are you crying?” Dabi asks, holding your chin in his hand to make you look at him. He gives you a comforting smile, chuckling breathily. “You know, you don’t need to cry. You didn’t go through it, did you? It’s still cute, though.” Whining, you lunge forward, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“I’m sorry that happened to you, Dabi,” you whimper, holding his body to yours as his arms enclose around your smaller form.

“Ah, you don’t need to apologize,” he laughs, soothed from your response. “Just call me Touya from now on.”

#mha x reader #bhna x reader #mha fluff #dabi x reader #touya todoroki x reader #dabi x you #dabi fluff #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #mha imagines #bnha imagines #my hero academia #boku no hero academia

[littlespoonevan]

Top 5 Buddie moments? ☺️🥰

oh my godddd where do i start???? can i even pick 5????????? *Edit upon finishing writing: most of these ended up focusing on Eddie’s feelings towards Buck I feel??? and I definitely have Things to say about their reunion in 3x06 and the kitchen scene bc they’re also up there as my faves so I could possibly also do an alternative top 5 that’s more Buck caring about Eddie but anyway here you go!

5. 2x04 - Buck introduces Eddie to Carla

Honestly every single interaction between them in this ep is my favourite because Buck supports Eddie so much throughout the whole ep????? Taking him to the hospital, telling Maddie what a great dad he is, giving Bobby the heads up when Eddie has to bring Chris to the station, it's all So Good. Especially when you remember they're still only just becoming friends at this point. But Buck introducing him to Carla has to be the icing on the cake for me. It's just- we've seen how smothered Eddie has felt in the past when it comes to caring for Christopher, how his parents have continually tried to take over or make him feel like he's doing something wrong, and I just really, really love that Buck offers him this support and this magic fix but in a way that doesn't undermine Eddie as a parent at all??????? Like he helps him but not because he thinks Eddie can't handle it but because he thinks Eddie deserves a break and wants to make things easier for him. It's amazing and I loVE IT

4. 3x18 - His fiancée's AbBy

sakljdfhs okay look. Listen. I love this scene so much and I think only recently sort of understand why. It's the first time we really see Eddie lose his calm during an emergency and the first time we see him specifically lose his calm over Buck. Because Eddie clearly knows how to compartmentalise and because of that we generally only see him look worried but not really outwardly react when Buck is in danger. But this scene akjsdh he's so aNNOYED and frustrated and it's fascinating because you have to wonder how much he knows about Abby and who's told him what. But what we do know is he knows Abby broke his best friend's heart and he knows Buck is willing to sacrifice himself for anyone but no way in hell is Eddie about to let him become collateral damage for someone who doesn't deserve it (and now we know he'd already changed/or was changing his will during this time *screams*). And yeah it's fun to call it jealousy but ultimately I think it was a lot of worry and a lot of frustration on Eddie's part because it's a very clear example of Buck believing he's expendable and Eddie wanting to shout, "You're wrong!!!!". Just. What a good fucking scene.

3. 3x03 - There’s nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you

I mean how could I not include this scene?????? It’s just- everything. All of it. From Buck’s voiceover to photograph playing in the background to the way Eddie all but bulldozes his way through casual conversation in the hopes of not having to explain. It’s about the absolutely unconditional way Eddie forgives him, like it’s not even a question, and the way Buck is so clearly torn up and can’t understand why Eddie doesn’t toss him aside. I’ll never get over “A few choice words can be the life raft that gets you home” combined with “There is nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you.” And obviously we know just how true that is later on but in this scene, you can tell Buck hears him even if he can’t quite allow himself to believe it yet. And it’s so soft and so gentle and just another one of those examples that prove to us that Eddie always seems to know exactly what to say to Buck to bring him back to the surface :’)

2. 4x04 - The gym scene

Honestly if it wasn’t for the season 4 finale this would be my number one. How do I love this scene? Let me count the ways. Just sakdjhfa fuck!!!!! it’s the first time we’ve ever seen Buck angry and I know obviously Eddie’s his confidant but it’s so good to actually see Eddie being his confidant. To see that Eddie’s the one he wants to vent to and that Eddie’s the one he trusts with his anger and Eddie just remains such a calming presence in the face of it all????? From the gentle way he talks to the way his foot holds down the punching bag while Buck hits it - I am on the floor. And also!!!!!! Eddie just repeatedly validating Buck’s feelings - “What do you have to apologise for? If that’s how you feel - how they made you feel - then you have every right to say so.” askdjfhas I think it’s really important actually because Buck is always called out for thinking before he acts and yeah, obviously sometimes he should apologise but I really love that Eddie takes the time to make it clear this is different. That Buck didn’t do anything wrong and is allowed to be upset. Also Eddie stopping Buck from hitting the punching bag when Buck says “I just want to hit things” and saying “I’ve been down that road. I don’t recommend it” goodbye???????????? He cares about Buck so much let me be. 

1. 4x14 - You think you’re expendable...but you’re wrong

askdjfha is there anything I can say about this scene that hasn’t already been said?????? It’s stunning. It’s so beautiful and so significant and I will never recover. Eddie is someone who struggles so much to talk about his feelings but he’s the one who initiates the conversation because this is important to him. And I said this yesterday but it really is a declaration of love????? I’ve written before about how the scene sort of parallels/answers Buck’s “Love me anyway” plea but one thing I noticed when rewatching Buck Begins is that when Buck gets hurt Margaret yells at him and says “You think you’re indestructible but you’re not” and it’s such a contrast to Eddie saying “You think you’re expendable...but you’re wrong.” even though the two sentences are almost identical. I’ve talked a lot about how significant the word “expendable” is and that parallel sort of reinforced it for me because Margaret is chastising Buck. She’s admonishing him for being reckless with himself and his body and it’s inarguably tied to Daniel. Whereas Eddie uses the word expendable because he knows Buck’s recklessness comes from a place of not feeling wanted. So he tells him I want you and I love you and you can’t get hurt because me and Christopher need you and Buck hears him. And I mean, that’s not even getting into the wILL of it all???? Like, hello???????? but I’m gonna stop now because I’m rambling but aksjdfhsja honestly this scene has broken me beyond repair and I for one am so grateful

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 #mine #anon #asks #i feel like i should've done top 5 scenes of eddie caring about buck and top 5 scenes of buck caring about eddie askjdfh #it's bc i just wrote 13k from eddie's pov ok i'm thinking thoughts lmao

[spvce-cowboy]

Requests and those prompt pages you shared make me go full on thot...but soft

Frankie with "when one of them has never had a proper birthday party for whatever reason, and their lover makes it their mission to give them the best day ever, followed by “you didn’t have to do all this for me. just being with you is enough.” “i know. but i thought you deserved ?’’ and their lover smiles, a kiss is shared"

And maybe the dialogue prompt "I wanted to say I love you for the first time without stuttering, but that failed"

Is that too much? Too weird? I'd be happy for either one :)

soft thots are the best thots no one can convince me otherwise 😌😌😌

i added a lil... somethin somethin to this bc i honestly just couldn’t resist.

--

frankie always lets his birthday pass quietly. it’s been that way since you’ve met him--he usually preferred a quiet night out with his friends, maybe ordering some nice meal in, but never anything big. 

he firmly resisted your suggestions of throwing a party in celebration for the first two years you were together, not adamantly, but with enough gentle insistence that you knew to back off. you could tell that there was some weight there, something unspoken that made him dark and moody during the week that lead up to the day, but you figured he’d let you know on his own time, if ever.

so you’re more than a little nervous for the surprise dinner you had spent the past month planning. you’d coordinated his whole crew to fly back to Texas for his birthday weekend, figured maybe after the year Frankie had had it would be a nice break, if not to celebrate then to distract. 

you made the delta force boys well aware of it, that if he didn’t want to do anything official the lot of your would play along without insisting anything more. the sparklers and cake you were hiding in the kitchen was purely optional, depending on how you read Frankie’s mood after the surprise reveal.

you’re all nerves for the entire day leading up to the party. luckily, Frankie is out of the house for most of it, and you told him you’d take him to a fancy dinner so he’d come pick you up from the apartment straight from work, already dressed in the suit jacket and button-down you’d picked out for him.

the boys and their dates help you with the last of the preparations--you’ve spent most of the day cooking, so they set up the table while you change into a pair of heels and Frankie’s favorite sundress of yours. you take one calming breath before stepping out of your bedroom and back into the fray.

the click of the lock sliding back is the only warning you get as Frankie shoulders the door open. his hands are busy with something and he has his back turned to you as he throws his keys on the side-table by the door.

“hey, sweetheart--listen i called the restaurant about our reservation and they said they didn’t have anything down under your name so i made something for--”

and he freezes, eyes wide with utter disbelief at the scene in front of him.

you’re in the center of the gathered group, made up of the delta force crew as well as some other friends from work. the house is warm with the smell of dinner, with a few, sparse decorations mostly consisting of candles and thin, paper wall hangings.

you give him your biggest possible smile as you and your guests burst out in a synchronous:

“happy birthday!”

the grin Frankie gifts you with is enough to have made all the anxious planning worth it. he crosses the distance between the two of you in a few quick strides. cradled in the crook of his arm is a bouquet of flowers, which he hands to you with a still-shocked “thank you, baby,” after kissing your cheek. then the boys start crowding around him in a mass of back-clapping hugs and loud laughter.

once he makes his rounds to greet everyone and finishes the beer Santi placed in his hand as soon as he handed you the bouquet, Frankie places a hand at the small of your back and ducks his head to speak directly into your ear.

“can i talk to you for a second, on the balcony?” 

there’s a quavering quality of seriousness in his tone that catches you utterly off-guard. you lick you lips and try to feign a confident smile as you nod, leading the way. you can practically hear your own heartbeat, a frantic pulse in your ears.

he clears his throat after closing the sliding glass doors behind himself. your eyes widen further as you realize he’s flexing his hands in that way that he does when he’s trying to get them to stop shaking.

your heart drops to the pit of your stomach as he guides you away from the doors and into the sequestered corner of the balcony, where you’d spent the better half of last week replanting your pollinator bushes in preparation for the summer. the bulbed fairy lights he’d helped you install last summer were still holding up, casting the balcony in warm hues of pink and orange. your brain seems to work on over-time, utterly unsure of what the fuck could possibly be going on. 

“first, i just want to thank you for planning all of this. it um--i really wasn’t expecting it, so, surprise well planned and all,” he gives a nervous laugh, rubbing his hand over the lower half of his face as his eyes flick towards the flood of light emanating from the living room on the other side of the sliding doors. in the quiet that follows, you can barely hear the chatter of music and conversation from the people inside because you genuinely can’t read the pained expression on Frankie’s face right now and that has literally never happened before and honestly you’re utterly terrified. 

because it sure as hell felt like he was about to give you an ultimatum.

so you do what you always do whenever you get freaked out. you start to babble.

“listen, i--i’m really sorry, i know you usually like to keep things low key and everything but Santi texted me that he was thinking of coming up and surprising you so then i thought that maybe i could reach out to the whole team too but i can totally tell them to leave and you guys can just do your own thing and--” you cut yourself off because the look he’s giving you now is just confused. you take in a gulp of air, these next words just as rushed as the previous ones were. “please don’t break up with me.”

Frankie’s jaw hangs open for a second.

and then he starts laughing.

full-body laughing, his face breaking out into that great big smile that you were so relieved to see not even a half-hour ago. but now you’re as confused as he once was.

“i was... i was going to do this later tonight, over dinner but, given the circumstances...” he’s trying to fish something out of his suit jacket’s pocket.

the realization slams into you like a brick wall.

because holy shit he’s trying to fish something out of the suit jacket pocket.

you half realize what’s happening and you half don’t, because he’s balancing a small velvet box in the palm of his hand which he holds in the space between the two of you like he’s cradling a small bird and holy fuck you were absolutely in no way prepared for this of all things.

you think he knows as much because when you look up at him with tear-filled eyes, your hand raised to your mouth in shock, he has a bit of a sheepish look on his face.

“i know it’s a lot,” he clears his throat. “and you don’t have to say yes right away but i just... i wanted to let you know that if you wanted this, it would make me the luckiest man in the world to be able to give it to you. whenever you’re ready and i--i’d love to be able to celebrate this,” he opens the box. the ring is beautiful, simple but delicate and understated and perfect. absolutely perfect. “to celebrate us around this time of year, too. i’d love that more than anything.”

“i--Frankie,” you rip your gaze from the ring in his palm, lip wobbling as your tears begin to fall. christ, you had no idea how full your heart would feel. you thought, in fantasy, that you would but it was nothing compared to this. “Frankie, i wanted tonight to--” 

“you don’t have to say anything now, if you don’t want to,” his words are as rushed as you feel, a bit frantic. “i understand if it’s too much for right i just thought i should make my intentions--”

you shut him up with a kiss.

“yes,” your voice is infinitely firmer than you expected it to be, you kiss him again, as if it could serve as punctuation. “yes, yes--a million times, yes.”

he laughs against your mouth in turn, wrapping both arms around your waist and lifting you up in the air without breaking the kiss. 

placing you gently on the ground, both your and Frankie’s hands are shaking so hard that he can barely put the ring on you. it sits on your ring-finger perfectly. you can’t bring yourself to take your eyes off of it for more than a second. neither can he.

someone turns the music up inside, the heightened volume of chatter is the only thing to break your combined reverie.

Frankie tucks you into his side with an arm slung over your shoulders, kissing the crown of your head. there’s a rare ease to his posture that you can already see yourself getting used to. 

“let’s see if they notice,” he whispers in your ear with a mischievous wink. you don’t think you’ve ever seen his eyes so bright. grinning, you lean further into his side. the two of you step back into the living room.

#frankie morales x reader #frankie morales #thots (tm) #frankie thots

[radiantmists]

i feel like this is gonna be an unpopular opinion but i sometimes see people talk about grizzop as a sort of paragon of logic and morality and it always bugs me.

bc like. yes, i love grizzop. and i think it’s clear that he is very much trying to be good, and he’s very committed to doing what he sees as the right thing. 

but the same are true for azu and hamid and plenty of characters, and i don’t think he’s any better at moral reasoning than most of the rest of the party. i think the impression that he is comes from his unshakeable confidence and his mastery of what I’ve started to think of as catholic logic. 

(this is fairly stream of consciousness and i’m not gonna tag it bc it’s not gonna be entirely coherent or especially well argued, i’m just getting some thoughts down. but my understanding is that sometimes untagged stuff shows up in search, plus ig i have followers, so feel free to reply and discuss this, i’d actually love that. but not much i say here is stuff i’m super confident about so... please don’t get too offended by my wrongness. just tell me why you feel im wrong without aggression, or move on.)

the first bit is the confidence. we don’t ever see grizzop have a moral crisis in the way that most of the other characters do. I can’t think of a time that he’s appeared to look back on something he’s done and wonder if it was wrong; the closest that occurs to me is when he regretted shooting the guy’s legs off in the cairo bar, but tbh i think that was more of a judgement error where he expected to hurt the person much less than he did. we don’t see him question things like flooding the orc town near damascus or dragging sasha into the politics of ancient rome when she didn’t want to be, and honestly, i think this lack is mostly to do with how short a time he was with the party.

most of the arcs he were present for were focused on hamid and sasha’s growth. where he played respectively the accuser and the protector, both roles that made him look good because they cast him as the arbiter of who was right. 

i think hamid, especially, bought into this in the cairo arc, because i think hamid is very consciously in the process of recalibrating his moral compass at the time and he has a marked tendency to do so based on the people he admires-- and the loudest voice in the room. hamid really doesn’t like people he admires having a problem with him, and he already felt that he wasn’t necessarily a good person, so he was very open to seeing grizzop or azu as the authority on whether he could be good, and since grizzop pushed where azu prevaricated, grizzop was the one who got the final say.

but in the same arc, you can see sasha and azu starting to question grizzop’s moral compass; sasha notices how legalistic grizzop’s judgement is, and that it really ought to condemn her too, while azu takes issue with how brutal grizzop’s methods are (see punching wilde). but neither of them are willing to press the issue with him at that point, and so he’s never really confronted with something that contradicts him.

and notably, grizzop’s confidence comes from the obvious source: he believes that artemis is inviolably good, and he knows she approves of what he’s doing because his powers still work. but there’s an arrogance here, too, a very strong belief in his own moral superiority with the slightest confirmation; look at rome, where he refuses to listen to azu and ed’s assertions that there’s something wrong with the gods there, because he was able to bull through to artemis the one time he tried, so obviously he must just be a better paladin of a better god, right?

grizzop has very strong beliefs and opinions, and he takes whatever route works best to fulfill them-- both in terms of actions, and in terms of logic. take his decision to forgive/endorse hamid near the end of the cairo arc: by his own assertions, people should experience consequences for their actions, and we know he knows what manslaughter is because he brings it up when hamid first starts talking about accidental murder. but where saleh and carter belong in jail because they’re ~bad~, hamid is allowed to continue on because he’s ‘trying to be better’, never mind that that  was hamid’s whole argument about why saleh didn’t deserve to go to jail. plus, saleh’s one goal when he thought he’d killed someone was to resurrect them, which imo makes a lot more sense as a redemptive gesture than going around killing entirely unrelated people. the rules are different because grizzop likes hamid (and probably a bit because ben didn’t want to break the party, but shhh).

this twisting of the logic to fit what you’re trying to prove is what i mean by ‘catholic logic’ (i’m catholic dont @ me); it sounds really good if you don’t think about it too hard, but in fact it’s generally post-facto rationalizations for decisions that have already been made.

grizzop is very enthusiastic about poking holes in other people’s moral reasoning, as we see with apophis, but i think his issue is that he’s got a blind spot when he looks at himself and his own decisions. in grizzop’s world, grizzop is right as long as artemis is still with him and everything else comes after.

now i’m personally of  the opinion that alex doesn’t bother/want to engage with the idea that gods take away powers, post-poseidon nonsense, which if true i sympathize with; doing so is either going to lead to the sort of inscrutability zolf had a meltdown over, or put a player in the weird position of making their character do what alex has decided their god would require or having to entirely reinvent the character without those divine powers.

on another meta level, my understanding is that grizzop  was designed to be very resistant to doubt because of ben’s difficulties playing zolf, so i think he might have been nearly as resistant to growth on that front as bertie was in general, because believing unshakeably that he’s right is a core element of his character. 

but i think if grizzop had lived longer, alex absolutely would have done some hammering at that absolute conviction. that might have come in the form of vesseek and the fact that grizzop is apparently an absentee father; even if he is sending home money, i can’t imagine that not being something that gets mined for angst. 

i also think he would have eventually come into a similar sort of conflict with azu, sasha, or cel (whoever was there) that zolf is in right now, where he absolutely believes that whatever killing he’s committed/intending to commit is not only right but a moral imperative, and they disagree. 

now whatever side you fall on in the barrett debate, i think grizzop ought to be a lot less willing than zolf to say ‘i’m not gonna go through you lot to do it’, not because i’m convinced grizzop would be hugely more willing to physically fight the rest of the team over it, we know that despite his practicality he seems to overlook some ‘’’wobbles’’’ in people he already cares about,  but because zolf is capable of giving up on something in a way that grizzop just isn’t. i dont know how that would play out; chances are, it would get interrupted by a fight, but. who knows.

#stopping not bc i think its a good ending but bc im out of energy #i welcome other people's thoughts but i know this isnt v coherent sorry

[inthewild-flowers]

happy birthday to my wonderful friend @thishearts <33 I love you very much and as your birthday present have this list of marauders road trip headcanons :)

The marauders are absolutely the type of friend group to go on road trips

You can't tell me they wouldn't

So here have some marauders on a road trip headcanons bc when i first met kay i wrote them a sad road trip fic and now they deserve a happy one

Marauders road trips are,,, well,,, marauders road trips

Bc those four are loud and enthusiastic and ridiculous about anything and everything so why would they be any different about road trips

Yes, theres aesthetic pictures bc james has to show lily something

But mostly its just them fucking around and james, mother hen that he is, shouting at them all to “get back into the car right now, or we’ll turn around and go back, i swear!”

(he never actually follows through on that)

Its a bit of a game between sirius pete and remus to see who can piss james off the most

Because he tends to turn into his parents on road trips, and they love him very much, but its absolutely hilarious to watch him say the exact same things that his mother would while looking at them sternly over the top of his glasses like his dad does

Remus keeps a list of all the times he does this

A scoreboard, if you will

Whoever makes him do it the most wins

There's no actual prize

Except bragging rights

And oh boy do they take advantage of their bragging rights

But that's not until after the road trip and we are focusing on the road trip itself here

They also like to camp while on their road trips

Sometimes they’ll stay in motels and such if they happen to come across one

But most of the time its camping bc thats fun

(although remus and sirius did get together on a road trip,,, in a motel,,, where there weren’t enough beds,,,,,)

(james made fun of them for weeks afterwards)

Camping is always,, interesting

James is very confident

Not necessarily a bad thing!

But he has a little bit too much faith in his camping skills

The first marauders road trip was a little bit of a disaster

Bc james insisted that he knew how to set up the tent (he didn't) and then it was nearly nighttime by the time he finally asked for help

Remus peter and sirius had already made dinner

With all four of them working on it they managed to do it

And they’ve improved since

But james still isn't allowed to set up tents on his own

Just in case

When they're in the car, james usually drives, and sirius is in the front passenger seat with remus and peter in the back

You would think that sirius is in charge of the music, being in the front seat and all, but it's actually peter

Sirius is in charge of the food

He always gets a ridiculous amount of snacks and keeps them in a bag on the floor by his feet

If anyone even vaguely implies that they might be hungry he takes something out of the bag and throws it at them

They all have excellent reflexes because of it

As for the music, Peter is charge of that bc he always steals sirius’s phone and plays whatever music he wants anyway so eventually they just gave him official control

He plays the weirdest shit

But it's good

My dude knows how to make a road trip playlist

It's also just full of super obscure bands that no one else knows about

Sometimes one of the others will sneak on something a bit more well known

It's a constant battle really

But they all sing very loudly even though they rarely know the words

It's just shouting really

And then remus has to remind james to keep his eyes on the road please and thank you, we don't want to crash today

To which james replies that he won't let them crash and then sirius points out that that’s only possible if he’s paying attention to the road and peter turns up the music because he wants to listen to it, goddamnit––

It’s chaos

But they have fun

Which is the main point of the road trips anyway :))

#happy birthday love!! hope its a great day bc u deserve it <3 #fic rec #marauders fic rec #headcanons #marauders #the marauders #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #James Potter #peter pettigrew #james & peter & remus & sirius #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #mwpp #road trip #hp fic

[astriefer]

“Please hold me.” for thomastair (ofc bc that's what you said) 🥺

Thank you for this! @littlx-songbxrd you asked for this as well. I'm sorry it's so bad.

~~~~~

Trust me with thy heart

Pairing: Thomastair

Words: 4,537

Contains mild angst, some self harm and hurt/comfort.

Note I am awful at writing angst or hurt/comfort. This whole poor writing is based on miscommunication, much or less, or the fear to let others close.

~~~~~

Thomas wasn't fond of fights.

Demons were one thing. Their destiny as Shadowhunters was to protect mankind from those filthy monsters who invade their world. They brought disorder and death. The people he cared about were a different tale. 

A light jest with his friends, why not? A banter with his father about taking the coat or not while going outside? Sure. But not a very tumultuous, tempestuous strife with them. He preferred them all to get along with each other. 

Thomas liked even less when it was him involved in the disagreement.

He spent the last day jogging between massive training seasons, hanging out with his friends, and losing himself in his thoughts. Now, he avoided everyone in favor of reading Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam. He made a special effort to tell no one where he was going, so non could bother him and ask him questions.

So Thomas was stunned when Ariadne Bridgestock, of all people, rushed through the entry in an unmatched combination of grace and ivory skirts, then flopped herself onto the armchair in front of Thomas.

While she had had a pleasant expression on her face, there was a dangerous gleam in her eyes. If Thomas hadn't known better, he would've sworn she came here to murder him.

"You and Alastair fought," she stated.

Thomas glanced between his book to her determined face twice, considering his options. Then, on behalf of good manners, he put a bookmark on the current page he pretended to be reading for half an hour. "Is it Alastair's way to tell me to speak to him? If so, please tell him not to embroil any other folks in our relationship."

"He hadn't sent me," Ariadne ignored the last part of his sentence. "But he did not arrive for our conclave."

A spark of concern lightened up in Thomas, yet he repressed it. He was angry with Alastair, Thomas reminded himself. "And what have you speculated I can do about it?"

She looked at him funny. "Talk to him, I presume."

"Ariadne," he tried, weariness falling heavy on him. "While I appreciate your concern, I doubt Alastair wants to see me. In fact, I doubt whether I want to see him right now. I know you confide in each other-" more than Alastair does with him, the bitter thought tore its way into his head. "And your intentions are well, but I will highly prefer to keep this between myself and Alastair."

He thought this would give her down and make her apologize. "Alastair wouldn't have sent someone else, and he didn't solicit help from myself," she said instead. "He would've given time to you both to collect your minds, and then come to you in clearer mind."

It was right. He knew it was. "So this parley is all you?"

"As I said, Yes. I worried for my friend, who happened to be your partner."

Thomas brushed his thumb on the spine of the book, musing over her words.  "Why would you be worried?"

"He stood me up. I came by your flat later, just for him to say nothing has happened. When I asked where you were, he conceded you two had a big bump in the road."

"That's a nice way to put it," Thomas murmured. "I frankly wished to be left alone. It's nothing-"

"Thomas," Her amber eyes met hazel ones. "You are good at many things. Fighting demons, and keeping the rest of the Thieves out of trouble, for example."

He quirked an eyebrow. "And?"

"Lying is not one of them."

Thomas swallowed, endeavoring to hide the feeling of hurt off his face. Recalling what happened a few days before made his whole body ache in pain. "So Alastair and I had a row. It always happens with lads." 

"It's not just a lad for you," she pressed. He was wide aware of the chastisement in her words. "It's Alastair. And never have I seen him the way he looked when I checked on him."

"What do you mean?" he asked after he perceived her words. "Alastair was absolutely fine when I left the flat." 

"You have to see for yourself." Ariadne said, "Go to him."

Despite the knots formed in the abdomen, he dithered. "Things ended up stormy when we last spoke. Maybe he's still mad. Maybe I'm still mad."

It wasn't just Alastair who was mad. He wondered how Alastair had been this past day, and how was he feeling, among many other thoughts. Yet the cloud of exhaustion and hurt surrounding him perturbated the nervousness. He was allowed to be upset about what happened. It sure wasn't nothing. Not on his part, at most. Why couldn't Alastair just-

"Excuses are not appreciated," Ariadne announced, "So you better confront him already, or I swear I shall chase you to the end of the Earth with my electrum whip." Ariadne threatened, and that what had taken to wake Thomas out of his hesitation.

"Of course," he sighed, "Because I don't have enough troubles already."

She brushed it off again with a smile, and Thomas felt mildly annoyed. He hadn't shown it. "Sort it out. It will benefit the two of you to tackle the problem."

She left no place for arguments. Utterly abandoning the book, Thomas rose to his feet and went to leave the room. 

He was glad to get out of the grip of this confusing confab, but he was even more unsure if to listen to her advice.

He was still angry with Alastair.

~~~~~

A veil of fog surrounded the city. It was a prevalent London day, cool and cloudy. The wind is blowing hard, welcoming passersby in a burst of freezing breeze. A thunderstorm on its way, they said.

But those were the last of things that perturbed Alastair's peace of mind. It matched his mood just fine. If someone was to describe him, curled up on his bed alone, he could imagine being portrayed as forlorn and tormented.

No, what bothered him was a particular someone that left and hasn't returned. Alastair hated he still hoped Thomas would return and make him less cold.

His breath was heavy, and his lungs burned like fire. He remembered words that haunted him for weeks in the past.  I believed you were more than what others said about you. I conceived myself beneath all the harsh words, was someone with a kind soul waiting to be seen. Was it all a lie I told myself?

Darkness flooded his senses. Trying to get any portion of self-control on his body he could, Alastair rose to his feet, glancing out of the window on unsteady legs without seeing anything at all. Gather yourself together.

But the words burned deep then, and they burned deep now. That was a battle against himself he meant to lose. The cold spread not only from the world beyond the window but from within him. It pulled out his ugly head, writhing and furious, desperately trying to break free and rise to the surface. People walked in the streets, oblivious to his troubles just as he was to theirs.

Thomas wasn't there.

Thomas wasn't there, and Cordelia wasn't there, and anyone he loved wasn't there. He locked himself in their flat for the past day, overthinking and speculating and wondering why did he have to be the way he is. If Thomas had finally realized he deserved someone so much better than Alastair, would he be surprised? Alastair was aware of this fact too well. The way he looked at him when they fought, the shaky hands when he opened the door, and the hours of waiting in case Thomas will return, just for nothing to happen. What does it mean if not that Alastair finally made Thomas give up and leave?

This inner part of him was crying, demanded to be heard, to be set free. A shrill cry came to his ears, and it took him a moment to perceive it belonged to him.

His vision became vague, his head ached, and everything spun around. He tried to lay a hand on the wall - only to find he miscalculated the distance and fell ungracefully on his knees. His heart pounded in his chest while the darkness tried to pull him in; He tried to take a breath and dozens of small knives tore his lungs up. He shrank, gasping for air that didn't come.  

Everything seemed blurry, all his mind could engross in was the words Thomas Lightwood told him, the cold truth dripping from them, freezing Alastair all over again. 

Alastair was accountable for all the hideous things he'd done and said, unquestionably. How weak is he that he hides behind shallow faces and vicious words? What a dolt he is, hurting a person, mainly the only person outside of his family that seemed to genuinely care for him. His words rang in his head, Thomas's voice haunting every corner.  

He sank lower, his breathing gurgling, reaching out in search of something stable, something that would serve as a pillar in the chaos that ensued around him. His hand extended out to the still air and then groped for something to hold on the floor. That came the way of a cold, sharp object that lay on the ground. He gripped it tightly, and he groaned in pain and relief at the physical ache that eased his mind.

"Alastair?" A voice called.

~~~~~

Thomas was about to lose his right mind. Alastair was trembling vigorously, barely able to stand on his feet that were shaking like a leaf swaying in the wind.

"Alastair," Thomas stuttered, with no response back. His indignation vanished to immediate panic. "Alastair?" he repeated more stubbornly.

His chest went up and down quickly; His eyes were wide like that of a deer caught in the automobile light. When Thomas tried to take a step toward him, the smaller man stiffened and stood bolt upright. Thomas stopped dead.

"I came at the behest of Ariadne," he said, just for the sake of talking. Alastair hadn't told him to quiet, so he kept going. "And because I was worried about you."

"Leave," Alastair hissed out frantically. Thomas couldn't stop the throbbing burn striking through his body.

Thomas took a few steps back, allowing Alastair his space. He had no temptation to leave as he requested - Thomas simply waited aside, for a chance Alastair would change his mind. He recalled the nights he woke up from a nightmare, dazed and overwhelmed with emotions, and how Alastair always reassured him in the dead of night.

This Alastair seemed lost in his own mind, unable to escape, and it terrified Thomas. Yet, he shoved the dread aside and put on the most relaxing facade he could. He was told to be quite good at it.

"I'm right here, Azizam." 

"Everyone leaves. You can do as well."

Somewhere in his mind, the pieces joined together, like a colossal puzzle. Was he afraid Thomas would leave him? That he would give up on him? he told him he could leave in their run-in, because he thought everyone will leave him in the end? 

"I don't know. I don't know how to do it." To cease making the wrong decision. To cease pushing people away. To cease hurting people. "man nemidânam."

"Alastair, can you hear me?"

As he found out, Alastair did not hear him. "I don't want to hurt you. I already hurt you so much." Alastair went on, choking on his own words. Thomas was in full panic mode, and he hurried further toward Alastair with barely contained alarm.

I find you worth any pain to come, Thomas thought. 

"It's fine," Thomas said. "I am fine. I want you to be fine as well. It's much more important to me than whether you may or may not harm me."

Something split in his face, and he took a deep breath down his throat. His eyes snapped to Thomas. The terror on his face made Thomas's heart sink.

"Alastair?" he asked, but it didn't manage to elicit a response from the other man.

Thomas drew closer to Alastair, not missing the flinch passing the half-Persian's body. Thomas could hear his breath, shallow and trembling. He could painfully see the tremor of his hands. The wide eyes that so clearly tried to hold back tears. He took one step closer, and Alastair took one back.

Thomas imminently came to a halt. Alastair squeezed hard against the wall. He looked like a captive animal on the verge of losing hope, a man pushed to the edge, an injured soul. 

Thomas took one step closer. With his enormous figure, it all needed to reach Alastair. He wrapped his arms around the shorter man, didn't let go even when Alastair squirmed, trying to shove him aside, fought to set free from Thomas's grip. His hold only tightened, and he used his strength to shove Alastair's head into his chest. He kept him close, kept even when Alastair protested, kept his hold when Alastair Surrendered abruptly, sinking into the soft material of Thomas's clothing, even when sobs began and his chest got wet from the tears of his love.

Thomas pressed his lips to the dark hair, held Alastair steadily while he cried. No words of reassurance passed between them. Truly, Thomas wasn't sure Alastair would have heard him if he tried. He knew the touch was what Alastair needed. Their embrace was clumsy and distorted, but it was enough. Enough to tell Alastair he wasn't alone; Thomas wouldn't have let him go through this alone.

With a soft sigh, Thomas finally let loose of his grip. He started to pull away and was surprised when he felt fists clasping on the fabric of the front of his sleeveshirt.

"Please," Alastair whispered desperately."Please hold me."

Thomas couldn't find it in himself to deny it to Alastair. They slipped to the floor. Alastair buried his face in Thomas's chest once again, shaking silently. Thomas felt his mouth forming words on his chest, although he could not tell which. All the while, his hands embraced the slim, shaking form of Alastair.

A few minutes had passed. Or an hour. Or a couple of days. Thomas didn't feel the time had passed while he tried to console his beloved one. He closed his eyes and concentrated on moving his hand on Alastair's small back, kept him close. The other hand came to caress the space between his ear and jawline, where he was creating circles on the tender skin.

Slowly, The dark-haired's breath became more even.

"Here you are," Thomas let a breath of both exhaustion and relief leave his body. "Can you hear me, Eshgham?"

"Y-Yes."

"Would you like me to get you a glass of water?"

"No."

Thomas sighed inertly as he held the other gentleman in his warm hands, promising reassurance and no judgment. Alastair, for the matter, clang to him as if he was drowning and Thomas was his only lifeline.

He never liked to fight with Alastair. It rarely happened, but when it did it left a bitter taste in his mouth and a pang at his heart. But he was not going to give up - not on this. He remembered his mother once told him couples fight, sometimes, because they still care about what the other does. It was their first argument with their new agreement. It didn't make him feel any better at the time. All his life he had been surrounded with unconditioned love, never exposed to the arguments and the imperfect details. It made him view love as just sweet and honey, while he learned that there's more with Alastair.

There's the giving. And the receiving. The trust in the other's intentions and the willingness to make them your priority foremost of all. The disagreements make you understand when your boundaries are and open a place for learning and acceptance. The balance you build with time, something he hoped he could shape with the man in front of him.

The trust part, to his belief, was something they still were working on. Alastair had leaned on him, and Thomas wondered it he thought now he calmed down, Thomas would leave him again. He did the last time.

"I'm not leaving," They locked eyes, and for some reason, he felt hope. "Alastair, I'm not leaving."

There are very few things he wanted more than Alastair. Verily, He was what he longed for above everything else. He wanted Alastair and everything he was.

Alastair didn't answer, but he averted his eyes.

"Are you ready to go now?"

Alastair seemed slightly lost, but he nodded and weakly stood on his legs. He followed Thomas while Thomas flung himself up and let Alastair sat on their bed beside him. The comfortable place always made both feel better - The mix of English and Persian and Spanish books on the bookshelves. The notebooks full of poems Thomas kept beside his side of the bed. Alastair's spears collection. The artworks they bought when they visited art galleries.Even the soft yellow light was a source of relief.

"You are mad," proclaimed Alastair in a hoarse voice.

"So are you," Thomas returned. Alastair shook his head, and Thomas's eyebrows rose. "So what then, if not mad?"

"Mostly nauseous," Alastair murmured, managing to startle a breathy chuckle out of Thomas. "But also bloody exhausted."

Thomas fumble after the right words, before deciding he should be candid. "I didn't like being apart from you in those few days. But I stick to what I told you before, Alastair." He saw it happening - the wall of defense Alastair was building up again after the last one had crushed. "Let me bring some fresh air into here."

Thomas tried to ventilate the room well while Alastair sank into the mattress and sat on the bed, leaning against the headboard. "If you call the London foggy, polluted air fresh, then sure."

A bit of relief passed because of Alastair's quip. He didn't lose it. "It seems you and my father share this opinion."

Thomas scanned Alastair, then noticed the cut on his right palm. Absentmindedly, he approached his side.

"Why did you do it?"

It took Alastair a moment to conceive what he was referring to. He hastily covered it with his other hand, but Thomas saw it. "I - didn't mean to."

Thomas watched the cut in awe as if it was imaginary.  However, when he grazed the skin, Alastair winced. 

Thomas wasn't sure how to counter this. Their fight. What just happened. Alastair didn't either. Or did he wish to pretend none of this happened? That he -both of them- weren't hurt?

This thought wasn't toleratable to Thomas.

And that's why, after he took his stele out of his dresser and was applying an iratze on Alastair's forearm, that he asked, "I want to talk about what happened the day before yesterday."

He could feel Alastair stiffening, his muscles tensing. "I was upset," Alastair said cautiously. "I shouldn't have snapped at you, Tom."

"You shouldn't have," Thomas agreed. He was done with the iratze and put the stele aside. "But that's not why I'm distraught."

Alastair shot him a tumultuous look. Thomas took a deep breath before looking Alastair dead in the eye. "You were upset, but you wouldn't tell me why. You grumble about things relentlessly, but when you're truly shaken you don't share at all. It's not - just this argument. It's not just one thing. Those small moments you hesitate whether to tell me the truth. The times you don't." He inhaled, letting the cold air fill his lungs. He resisted looking away from Alastair's face, didn't let his eyes flutter around the room like they were trying to do. "Love is also built on trust and communication. If we don't have those, what is left?" He didn't need to hear Alastair's reply. "We talk, and we share, yet I cannot understand why you're so grumpy at times. I need you to tell me."

"Can't one just be pissed off at the world?"

"Alastair."

"Many things can upset me," Alastair said. Thomas might have hallucinated it, but his voice was a bit shaky. "Do you want to hear them all?"

"Yes," Thomas answered immediately. His tone was sincere.

Alastair's hand reached to the other side of the bed, a nonverbal request.  They still couldn't stop staring at each other. But not playfully, or lovingly, but earnestly.

Alastair, naked of his facade and any snide remarks. Alastair, whom he grew to know and rarely showed up to many else.

I do trust you. I care for you. were the meaning behind Alastair's gaze. All Thomas wanted is to lean on and forget everything. But still - it was not his pride making him relucent. That was much deeper than that. 

He lingered there just for a moment too long, enough to make Alastair believe he declined the request, and his hand quirked in pain for a moment. His face became emotionless - and Thomas had feared he misleadingly deceived Alastair that he didn't want them after all. That he didn't want him.

In moments, he climbed on the bed. He coddled Alastair, silently and diligently. "Tell me. Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing," Alastair retorted eventually. He rubbed his eyes and laid back on the bed board. Then after a moment. "Everything."

"I hate it when I see you suffer and I don't know why," Thomas whispered. "I want to help. More than anything. But you push me away and I am left to think it might be because of me, because-"

"No," Alastair said firmly, extending his hands to cup Thoams's. "You have never been anything but good to me. It's just-," he broke off.

Thomas searched his foggy eyes. "I don't blame you," he told him, "If it's hard for you. But trust me enough to tell me what bothers you, thus we could face it together." He collected his hands in his own, lifting them so he could kiss his knuckles. "I know I want to stand by your side whatever the cost." he was certain about that; No whirlwind to come could change it. "Will you let me?"

Instead of an answer, Alastair kissed him.

Thomas knew he was kind, forgiving, trusting. He knew Alastair was slow to trust, slow to reveal his true feelings, hiding behind sharp words to secure himself from being harmed by people close to him. He knew the world broke his heart - so viciously, and that he took the pieces that were left. It was undoubtedly hard. Alastair had changed so much, yet Thomas wanted to understand, to reassure Alastair they were in this together. 

"Hamsar-am," Alastair said when they pulled away. "I will try."

Thomas smiled at the endearment term. His heart was throbbing fast. "I was mad," he confessed, "because you refused to tell me what's wrong. You pretended. And I - I don't want facades, my love. I want the truth. I want you."

"I don't want to be weak around the people I love," Alastair whispered, and Thomas understood. To what extent did he fear that if he shows weakness, his friends and family would suffocate him again, shield him from the world as they did when he was younger? How much he feared at slightest of weakness shown, he would be smothered as Thomas had been when he was too small, too fragile?

But Alastair never did that. He supported him in his way, allowed him to be weak without acting as if Thomas was made of glass. "So not weak to everyone," He was astonished he found it in himself to laugh softly. "Each other will be enough. We can be vulnerable with one another."

Alastair stared at him for a long moment. Eventually, a faint smile appeared on his lips. "Okay."

"This is just another way of trust."

So Alastair told him. He told him about the rumors he heard from the London enclave about his family, the looks he had gotten. Of the words of people who were white while Alastair was brown. He didn't mind, much, but it drew attention to his family. And to Thomas. Respectable family and a kind heart seemingly weren't enough to make the rumors - and who spread them - silence. The opposite is correct - the fire burned even brighter, and its flame was like cutting knives. The people who matter didn't care about their agreement, and Alastair long stopped paying attention to rumors. But when it was about Thomas, he said, he had been furious. The stories unfolded, the truth shone through, and the more Alastair talked - not just about rumors, but on the way some of the people treated him, of the Cornwall's townhouse and its residents, the things his soul troubled about were finally out.

Thomas listened, understood, stroked Alastair's cheek when he seemed to start shaking again, but now out of relief instead of concealed agony. 

They sunk into a comfortable silence in the end. Up until Alastair inquired, "You were out for so long. Where were you?"

"At the institute," Thomas replied. The concept of coming back to his parents' townhouse, admitting the quarrel, rewinding it all in his head countless times while enduring Sophie and Gideon's worrying looks, was nothing he wished to do. "Or somewhere I could avoid anyone."

"And now?" he asked tentatively. "You come back?"

"I have no intentions to leave this bed even if Ariadne herself will come to pluck me off the sheets." He affirmed.

Alastair's smirk became genuine this time. "Ariadne was here today."

When Thomas said "I know" he got a quizzical look from Alastair so he supplied, "She found my whereabouts and made me go confront you. Not much subtly, may I add."

"Yes. This jinx made me open up the door and refused to leave until I told her what happened."

Thomas silently laughed. 

"I..suppose it was rather cathartic," Alastair said. It was evening now, Thomas noted, and none of them found it in themselves to get up and eat supper. They just kept their bodies close, relishing their air of comfort.

"Indeed. This, this was good. Splendidly better than reading the same page over and over again in the Devil's tavern or pretending to care what waistcoat Matthew is taking to the impending party at Anna's flat." 

"You thought the place you and your squad go to hide is the best place to hide from them?" Alastair asked.

"It seemed reasonable at the time," Thomas murmured. "Each of us has a kind of hideout, have we not?"

Where was Alastair's safe hideaway? At home, with a book in hand? At museums, drinking in art and beauty? Was it hiking in the streets of London by himself and enjoying the view and the whispers of nature?

"You," Alastair said. Thomas hadn't realized he voiced his question aloud. A tired, small smile played on Alastair's lips, yet his words were soft, plain and simple. Their eyes locked, and he could feel how genuine Alastair was. "You are my hideout."

~~~~~

Dictionary:

man nemidânam - I don't know

Eshgham - my love

Hamsar-am - my equal head, my better half

#alastair carstairs #thomastair #thomas lightwood #the last hours #my fics #thomastair fics #for the matter Thomas does NOT know how to help Alastair in the state he was in. He doesn't know the right way to approach this. #They just found solace in physical affection so he found it fitting there too #I'm sorry #littlx-songbxrd #carstairstessa #Besides I take centuries to write because not only I am extremely busy (and sunk way too deep into the fluff fic and Choi) #but have to wait for inspiration to strike. It works not another way. #so sorry

[punkassrichie]

Just Tonight pt 1

A/N: i’ve only written like,, one fic on this blog lol but i really love It so i decided to start up again. also just wanted to say i’m aware that beverie isnt an ideal ship, but i just love it sm 😪😪 it’s got all the angst i need and want >.< but anyway feel free to send me requests? i will do any and every ship bc that’s just how much i love everyone and everything. feedback would be much appreciated! <3 also this is a college au but i wanted the first part to be kind of like a back story, like what went on during their high school years. this fic was inspired by the song Just Tonight by The Pretty Reckless. feel free to give it a listen as well to get a feel of the theme for the fic lol

Warnings: angst, mentions of underage drinking and substance abuse, mentions of underage sex, mentions of SA and abuse, abusive and toxic relationships, cheating, mentions of suicide me projecting just a lil and Bev x Richie. college au. if i missed any lmk. oh aaaaand all of the character are bi LMAO k byeeee

Summary: Beverly and Richie were the cliche best friends. Going to the same high school, joining the same clubs, hanging out at the Aladdin and arcades, applying to the same colleges, telling each other their deepest darkest secrets. Being each other’s firsts. Falling in love. And neither of them knowing about it.

It was the last day of summer, barely going into high school the first time it happened. They were getting drunk and high together, just the two of them. At the time, Bev was with Bill, and Richie was pining after Eddie. Both of them sad because Bev loved Bill with all of her being, but she never felt right with him and Richie loved Eddie, who never made it clear whether he loved him back or not. Eddie was messing with his head a little bit. Not intentionally, he just didn’t have the confidence Richie did. And he wasn’t sure what he wanted.

Richie understood. He wasn’t going to force Eddie to do anything he didn’t wanna do. And if that included Eddie not wanting to be with him then so be it.

But man, did it fucking hurt.

So they both drank themselves sick, neither of them understanding why they were the way they were. They’d talked all hours of the night, drunk laughing and crying, and making dumb jokes until they started talking about things they’d never really touched on before. He’d ask her about her abusive father and she’d ask about his neglectful parents, both of them answering any questions they had.

They started talking about how Richie was still a virgin, and how he really wanted to have sex but not with just anyone. He drunkenly confessed to saving himself for Eddie, but knowing that wouldn’t happen because he knew Eddie wasn’t ready for any kind of relationship with him. It’s like Eddie wanted nothing to do with him.

Bev saw a tear stream down his eye, and she shouldn’t have, she knew she shouldn’t have but she leaned in to kiss him, she told herself it was just to comfort him but one thing led to another and before they knew it, their clothes were off and Richie was tossing her on his bed. With Richie, it felt so wrong but more right than Bill. In Bev’s head, it made sense.

The morning after, Bev had woke up crying. She wasn’t weeping.. it was more like soft sobs. Richie woke up and asked her what was wrong. She didn’t know.

“Is it because of Bill?” Richie asked, his face full of concern.

“No, and that’s the worst part.” She managed to squeak out between sobs. Richie just held her.

Bill was the last thing on her mind, and while she felt bad, she didn’t linger on the thought too much. She knew they wouldn’t last.

No, she just felt wrong. She always felt wrong. She liked it so much that she wanted to do it again and again and it filled her with shame. Guilt. She told herself she’d never be into it, not after her father ruined it for her. But still, she was. And she was disgusted with herself.

She finally told Richie after she couldn’t take her thoughts anymore. Richie assured her that she wasn’t wrong for feeling the way she did. That it was okay, and he had a great time. He was glad she did too.

She looked up at him, not understanding why he was so sweet to her. She didn’t deserve it, she thought.

This time it was Richie that leaned in to kiss her. She was shocked because he wasn’t drunk, and neither was she. She almost forgot that people don’t need to be drunk to have sex. She also forgot that it’s not really recommended. Eventually she melted into it. He was getting handsy and pulled back to let Bev know she can say stop at any moment and he would.

But she didn’t.

And that morning, Richie had went down on someone for the first time in his teen years, and Bev had her first real orgasm.

That’s when she became addicted to it.

-

Few years into high school, and Bev and Richie were still the best of friends. Not making things weird or “official.” Just two best friends that kiss sometimes (and sometimes that do more than kiss) and then act like it didn’t happen the next day. Almost all the time.

Before school started, Bev broke up with Bill. She knew what she wanted now and she wasn’t going to use Bill to get it. She always knew he was a sweetheart, and that he deserved better. She didn’t tell him what happened with Richie, and she made Richie promise he wouldn’t say anything either. Of course he did, but only if she did the same. She also didn’t tell Bill that she was gonna go around, chasing the high that she’d get from Richie, but with other people. He was heartbroken enough, she wanted to spare him at least some of the heartache.

Most of the time she’d just sleep with Richie. At first it was just convenient, and she trusted him, and him only. But then she realized it was because she didn’t feel comfortable with anyone else. She hadn’t realized it but she was falling for the boy. The thought would creep up in her head but she’d make it go away as fast as it appeared.

But all of that changed when Richie and Eddie started officially dating.

She wasn’t jealous, she couldn’t be. She loved him so much and was happy when he finally got to have the boy he pinned over all throughout his childhood. She knew he’d be happy.

She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t feeling a little lonely though, seeing as Eddie would take up all of Richies time. Of course she had the other losers, but it wasn’t the same. They didn’t understand her like he did.

And of course she lied, she was a little jealous that someone took her best friend away. But she had to suppress it because she knew her and Richie would never work.

Richie loved Bev too, but not like he loved Eddie. She knew that. She understood. She also knew she was incapable of loving someone. Or having anyone love her for that matter. She knew he loved Eddie and Eddie only.

She only started to question it when she started to sneak into his house through his bedroom window, sophomore year of course, after yet another rough night with her father. He knew. He understood. He was there. In more ways than one. Some nights he’d just hold her. When she was shaking, when she couldn’t stop crying, and especially when she couldn’t muster the words to tell him what had happened. Other nights she would be beneath him, asking begging him to make her forget. And he would. Because he loved her and wanted to show her. But the thought of love was questionable now because if he could do that to Eddie, what would he do to her? He and Eddie had only been together a few months then.

Eventually she realized what he would do to her.

One night she had biked over to his house, covered in bruises and blood. That night it had been really bad. She went over and climbed up his window, knowing the path up the tree all too well. His window was unlocked, his bed was made and the light was on. Except Richie wasn’t there. She looked over to the bed where there were fresh, clean clothes and a towel underneath them. She knew what it meant.

It was a silent “I can’t do this anymore, but i’m still here for you.” She knew that’s what it meant because for them, words never had to be exchanged. They could speak through gestures and they would just know.

She ended up leaving and finding a quick fuck on tinder. He ended up bruising her up even more. At least he got her a room and stayed with her until they both had to go their separate ways.

-

Sophomore year had ended and summer began. Bev and Richie were more distant than ever. She knew it was bound to happen but she never prepared herself for it. But that didn’t mean she was going to steal him away from the person he loved most.

So she took matters into her own hands. Once she realized she could be in control of her body, she started to get a little out of hand. She started talking to more people at school, trying to figure out if they were into her or not. She debated going on tinder again but there were so many missing person flyers all over town and she didn’t wanna end up on one of them. Not like that anyway.

She felt more comfortable with people she kinda knew. That was until she got involved with one too many football players. When school started up again, they began their “locker room talk” and once a lot of the boys figured out they had sex with the same girl, they’d tell everyone and label her a slut. Bev ended up being one of those girls. It got around school and even back to the cheerleaders which some of them had experimented with Bev that same summer too. Of course, they’d never say anything about it, mostly because they weren’t sure about their sexualities, but that didn’t stop them from bullying her either. Including Greta.

Greta Keene was the main one that ended up torturing Bev. Which was sad really, considering all the nights they had together. It was almost like Bev had found her replacement. She just forgot how cruel people can be.

She was forgetting a lot of things. Once the rumors were spread, some true, most of them not true- she forgot that she had friends she could trust and talk to and tell them what had happened. But she was scared mostly. She knew the losers didn’t believe the rumors anyway but she also knew that a part of them wondered.

So she distanced herself. First time with Richie, second time with the whole club. It wasn’t intentional, but she knew that if she kept up her actions, they’d be concerned. Or they would leave. And you can’t be left unless you leave first, right?

Bev felt like her life was in the gutter. That nothing mattered and nothing was real. She didn’t care anymore. She didn’t care about anything. Not about the rumors at school, not about the people taunting her and calling her a slut every 5 minutes, and not Richie. Definitely not Richie.

She still did what she thought was best for her, and if that meant drugs too, then drugs it was.

She wasn’t into anything hardcore, but she loved downers. She loved the fact that she could take a pill and it would make her numb and forget the events of that day, or the one before, or even after.

She changed. And everyone noticed.

The losers grew concerned. They’d see her walking down the halls, hair looking shaggy with baggy clothes (because anything she wore that was her size would get her called a ‘slut’ much more than it does when she wears clothes that isn’t), big shoes and sometimes when she would things her size, they could see the bruises on her arms, the cuts and scrapes on her knees and elbows, the hand shaped marks on her throat. She’d stretch and while her shirt rode up a little on her waist, you could marks on her hips too.

They were scared for her, and they knew something was up. They loved and care for Beverly so they weren’t going to let her go that easy.

One day, Bev skips out on school and all the losers noticed. It was weird, no matter how much she got bullied or beat (by Greta and her bitch clique and sometimes the Bowers gang), she’d never miss a day.

That’s when they all decided at lunch to skip their last three periods to spend it looking for her. They checked her house first, her dad telling them to fuck off and leave her alone, and if she went out and got herself killed then that was her own damn business. It made their blood boil, it made Richie wanna sock him right there and then. But Bill being Bill, just said thank you and walked off. Made Richie wanna sock him too.

They went to the barrens, quarry, clubhouse, everywhere and she was nowhere to be found. They headed back to school, heads hanging low in defeat, worried about her. They didn’t know what else to do but wait until her dad decided to file a missing person report.

The last bell rang and they all headed home, Bill told the rest of the losers that he would try to come up a plan to see what more they could do to try and find her. He didn’t wanna give up, although the rest of the losers already had.

Richie was walking Eddie home when he cried to him and told him that he shouldn’t have pushed her away the way he did, and that it was all his fault. Eddie just held him, not understanding the relationship the two had. He told him that everything would be okay anyway and that they would find her. Richie just nodded and continued to walk him home.

Eddie offered him to spend the night with him, like he had been doing all year but this time Richie politely declined. He doesn’t know why but something was telling him to go home. Go home and check.

He doesn’t tell Eddie, just tells him he might be coming down with something and that’s enough to make the hypochondriac stay away. For that night at least.

Richie kisses him goodbye and heads on home. And sure enough, there she was. Sitting in his steps, fumbling with something in her hands and mumbling to herself.

He throws his bike to the side and rushes over to her, asking her if she was okay or hurt. She just laughed.

She reeked of alcohol and had a small brown pill bottle in her hands. It was empty.

He kept asking her questions and grew more concerned when he see that her eye had been swollen shut. She was crying, but laughing at any question Richie had.

She was fucked up, it wasn’t hard to tell. Richie didn’t ask anymore questions and just helped her up. She refused but he still managed to get her up. While he helped her up the stairs and into his room, he asked her what she was on. She didn’t respond. He was growing frustrated but settled for asking her when she was sober. He helped her get cleaned up, and saw to her eye when she got out of the shower. He didn’t know much about first aid, but he knew what Eddie taught him.

She stopped crying and she was just silent, her eyes fluttering like she couldn’t keep them open anymore. When he was done, Richie set her down on his bed and held her while she slept. “Love you, Richie.” was the last thing she murmured before falling into a deep sleep.

Of course it hurt him, and of course he blamed himself. She needed him and he dropped her like she meant nothing to him. But it wasn’t like that. Now he wishes they could’ve just talked. If he hasn’t been so caught up with Eddie, maybe they could have.

It was 7pm the next day when she woke up. She seemed very confused, and was surprised when Richie was beside her, talking to Eddie on the phone. He wrapped up the call once he saw that she was awake, he had questions and he was going to get them. He was determined. He hung up and just sighed when he saw the state she was in.

“Bev, you’ve gotta tell me what’s been going on with you.” He says with a soft tone as he sits on his bed, facing her. She can barely look at him, feeling anxious and embarrassed. But she knows she can trust him.

“I-I havent been doing very well lately.” Is all she can manage to say. Then she starts to cry again. And just like he would before, he held her. He calmed her down and waited until she was ready to talk.

And when she was, she confided in him. She told him everything, how she’s been sleeping around to get by, how she found a specific drug that helped her sleep through the nights her dad wouldn’t let her, how some of the rumors at school were true, and how much she missed him and the rest of the losers. She told him that she didn’t wanna leave them the way she did, but she didn’t want them to leave first when they found out about her.

When she was done pouring her heart out, he just looked at her and hugged her. “Don’t ever scare me like that again.” He whispered as he wrapped his arms around her. She was still for a second, but then wrapped her own arms around him.

And they remained in their position for a while. They didn’t talk about their little ‘situation’ they had gotten themselves into, nor did they want to. They hardly ever did. They just sat in silence for comfort.

After that months flew by once again, and things felt normal again. Bev got used to the bullying and harassment from her classmates but she didn’t have to deal with it alone anymore. The losers club made them back off actually, defending Bev until it got them suspended.

They didn’t care though, they wanted to show Bev they actually care about her and that she’s not alone. She learned to appreciate them more than she already did.

They started having more sleepovers than usual so that Bev wouldn’t have to stay at her dad’s so much, and they started calling her and checking up on her.

Richie was always making sure she was okay and telling her to text him whenever she got home or if she was going anywhere and back. Just to keep tabs, making sure she’s alright.

They didn’t sleep together anymore, and neither of them minded. At least that’s what they told themselves. Bev had a few fuck buddies since Richie, one of them being Greta.

“Why the fuck would you still be fucking her?” Richie exclaimed after Bev confessed that she was still fooling around with her despite being harassed by her and her clique.

She just shrugged. She couldn’t tell him it was because she couldn’t fuck him anymore, she didn’t want to pin anything on him. And she couldn’t tell him that she kind of liked the abuse.

Bev had all sorts of kinks that she wasn’t ready to talk about with just anyone, and she knows she could trust Richie, but she still feels a bit embarrassed and ashamed.

Before they knew it was summer again, and that was the first time they were all together again in a long time. Her friends changed and she didn’t even realize it. But so did she. She found comfort in knowing that they would accept her no matter what. And that she would too.

-

Senior year was the best year for the losers, but as well as the worst. They called it their Slack Off year. They had done so much work the years before just to be able to call it that. They’d have 3 classes the whole day and the rest were free periods. Their work really paid off. And it was so much better knowing they were all going to be at the same college. It would be an understatement to say they were excited for next fall. It was until someone new had come into the picture and changed everything.

Her name was Criss. She was new to Derry High. To the town in general.

Beverly swore she loved her. And she swore Criss loved her back. And how they came to be were the losers’ guess but they were happy for her nonetheless. Things with them were great at first. Bev finally seemed happy to have someone by her side at all times, happy to be lovey dovey with, and just happy in general. Beverly was in love to say the least.

The rest of the losers were obviously happy for her, but if anyone had asked Richie what he thought about Criss, he wouldn’t say what he was really thinking. He avoided the question if he could.

But then they started to notice the red flags in Criss, and they weren’t so sure about her. They’d notice when she’d lie about little things, the way she’d grip Bev’s arm when she was mad, the insults she’d scream at Bev whenever they were in a fight, the scenes she’d make when things just wouldn’t go her way. One time Bev showed up at the quarry with a freshly split lip, and they knew it wasn’t her father because she wouldn’t stay at her house anymore. They hated it, and they knew Bev hated it too.

Except Bev didn’t hate it- that much, because Criss wasn’t that bad. She’d ignore the losers when they expressed their concerns for her because she knew who she was deep down. Most importantly she was loved. That feeling alone was enough to make her fly high into the sky. She couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. She only hated the fact that she fell for a person who ended up not being what they said they were. But she convinced herself it was okay, and that she would be able to handle her. She loved her, and if that meant putting up with mild bruises and screaming matches, then so be it. She was just happy that someone loved her.

It wasn’t until Beverly caught her with Greta in her bed, that she knew it was too good to be true. That was the first time she felt her heart shatter. She didn’t go to the losers when she first saw them together, she went on a walk all by herself and not because she felt stupid, (oh but she definitely did) but because if she didn’t, she was convinced she might’ve offed herself. Sometimes she wishes she did. And all the shame, guilt, and embarrassment had returned. She didn’t believe in anything at all anymore.

-

dont be a stranger and lmk what u think <333 part two will be out soon!

#it 2017 #it 2021 #the losers club #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #beverly marsh #beverly marsh fanfic #beverly marsh angst #beverie #reddie #angsty reddie #stanley uris #mike hanlon #ben hanscom #bill denbrough #bowers gang #bi bev #everyone’s bisexual LOL

[aly-kurta]

So for first congratulations for 300 followers.You really deserve more than that because your writings are amazing and I love them. All your writings are perfect.I don't see any mistakes in them and the way you write is make me want to read more tbh:))

And for prompts if you can do Feitan with 1- " I hope you feel feelings you've never felt before".(maybe when Feitan tell it to the reader after an argument with Feitan because he gets jealous on someone that he thinks it's make the reader feel better, and the reader try to explain to him that he is the only one for her/him/them and in the end the reader try to make Feitan more confident about himself)

And 22- "The ones that love us never really leave us." with Shalnark maybe after his death (I bet I will cry)

Anyway if you don't write any of this scenarios like this it's okay bc writing it's hard:))

Okay but your words had me flustered 🥺🥺🥺 for real tysm dear you made my day! <3 I'm so happy you like my writing!

1 - "I hope you feel feelings you've never felt before" + Feitan

"Feitan please can you at least bother to listen to me for once?!" you said out loud as your boyfriend was standing in the living room, in front of you and with his eyes looking at the white wall of your house. Both anger and sadness were in his grey eyes. "They are just a friend to me okay? You really have nothing to worry about!".

What you were saying was true. You could have never imagined something like leaving Feitan for someone else, never.

"Then why so close" he whispered, trying to restrain his anger. Feitan never got angry, really angry in front of you and the last thing he wanted was snapping and scaring you because of jealousy, but it was so hard to hold back all the rage...

"Feitan I would never cheat on you! You're jealous for nothing" you repeated in a worried voice.

As you tried to touch his shoulder for comfort, Feitan moved in order to keep physical distance from you.

"You know (y/n)... I hope you feel feelings you've never felt before... With that person. They will make you happier than I do".

Hearing his words you looked at him in shock. Was he afraid of you being happier with someone else because of his lifestyle?

"Fei..." you tenderly called him and slowly stepped towards him "is it because you are a member of the Phantom Troupe?" you questioned him.

"No mind" he said stubbornly.

"Answer me please..." you almost begged. You wanted to clarify so bad.

"Fine, yes" he said still looking at the wall instead of you.

"I would never leave you just because of that". Your words made him turn to face you as you kept speaking: "You see, I know the risks of your lifestyle and what you do for living as well. But to me it doesn't matter, you may be a cold blooded killer to others but not to me, I don't know you completely yet but I know you enough to say you make me happy like no one else could".

A distant light shimmered in Feitan's eyes, lightening them up.

"For real?"

"For real" you smiled "I could never replace you with anyone else, my love".

22- "The ones that love us never really leaves us" + Shalnark

Cw: death of course and spoilers from chapter 357.

You sat on the roof of that one building you and Shalnark used to meet after or before he went on a mission for the Troupe. Usually the two of you stayed there even for hours, talking about everything that came to your minds.

You always waited for him to meet you there. It soon became a ritual for you two to go there and forget about the world. Just the two of you and the sky above the city.

There, many things happened: your first meeting, your confession, first kiss, many evenings spent listening to Shalnark singing some random songs. He was a bit out of tune but you didn't care at all. On that roof he promised to never let you go, no matter what.

And you trusted Shalnark with you life. He always kept his promises.

So why? Why did he left you alone on that now damned roof so many times? The countless evenings and days you spent up there looking for him to appear once again in that little space you claimed among the metropolis.

Nothing.

You kept calling him over and over. You even believed he just grew bored of you and decided it was time to leave you forever.

Until you saw the news.

The corpse of a young man found at the city's park. He was brutally killed by a still unknown person.

You'll never forget the way your heart ached, almost like exploded in your chest in sorrow, when you saw it was Shalnark the one they were talking about.

Your one and only got killed.

Yes, he told you about the Troupe and their activities. Yes, he told you he was placed just 10th on that arm wrestle competition but to you it didn't matter. To you he was the strongest person alive.

And he was dead.

You stopped even thinking about that roof you two met a long time ago. The memories made you so sick to make you gag as tear built up in your eyes.

You remember when he told you about the death of two of his companions.

"The ones that love us never really leave us"

You told him that.

And now that you were experiencing the most painful loss of your life, those words meant absolutely nothing.

#hunter x hunter #shalnark #chrollo lucilfer #anime #genei ryodan #feitan #hisoka #gon freecss #killua zoldyck #manga #incorrect hxh quotes #hxh memes #hxh headcanons #hxh icons #hxh x reader #hxh feitan #hxh

[amelia]

related to that last ask but now i actually have a question! what are your favourite episodes for amy as a character? (sorry if i’m pestering you btw you don’t have to answer right away ❣️)

it is absolutely never a bother for me to talk about amy pond!! gosh though this is a Question. okay. i did interpret this as episodes that are my favorite for the lens of My Understanding Of Amy instead of favorite pond era episodes as a whole if that makes sense? under the cut bc i got long as i tend to do

i think my number 1 has to be the big bang, because it really is just like. okay, pond era absolutely runs into the problem of frequently making stories/episodes that should be centered around amy's emotional journey actually about somebody else — but the big bang is all hers. it is all on her! she's leading the show SHE'S the one in the pandorica SHE'S the one who remembers the doctor into existence it is HER choice to say goodbye to leadworth and continue to travel completely without remorse SHE IS THE HERO. it goes from "time can be rewritten, he'll find a way" to AMY being the one who finds the way. rory and river and the doctor all of course get their Moments but it's unquestionably amy's spotlight moment the whole way through

i have also ALWAYSSS been obsessed with starless universe amelia and the way that she still believes in stars in a world where they DON'T EXIST the power of her mind and the conviction of her beliefs is a CORE TENET of amy's character, the doctor has NOTHING to do with it!!! it's just who she is !!! best character of all time <3

other things about the amy's writing in this episode i love: the line "the universe pouring into her dreams every night," space florida outfit <3, ok i obviously do not love this but i think so much about amy talking about the doctor at her wedding and her mother is still like "NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN… i thought the psychiatrists FIXED her" like once again !!! a UNIVERSAL CONSTANT that amy is the one who believes in things nobody else does and is LOUD about it and is RIGHT !!! (let's kill hitler tried to retcon this but it simply won't work on me ❤️ just like anything else about the let's kill hitler flashbacks ❤️❤️❤️), OKAY DOCTOR DID I SURPRISE YOU THIS TIME? <3

number 2, i think, is the eleventh hour itself? like it's just… i've rewatched it so many times and it's still the most captivating character introduction i have ever seen. i know i'm biased but i love it so much. her introduction as a clearly neglected seven year old girl (constantly think about the deleted line that has her talking to aunt sharon and saying "you're not supposed to leave me, i'm seven!" WOOF) who's not afraid of anything except for the crack in her wall… she has drawings up all over her house of burning houses, she draws smiley faces into her apples bc her mom used to do that, she can cook for herself way better than i could at seven, and she desperately just wants to leave. but when the doctor tells her he'll be back in five minutes, amy is already so used to adults leaving her and breaking their promises that she doesn't believe him. but he makes her believe anyway. and he doesn't come back.

and all of the rest of her character hinges on that introduction — of course she has to believe him, he was REAL, nobody can take his realness away from her even if she is the only one who believes. but he also left her all alone for so long, just like everyone else who was supposed to be there for her did, so what good does that to her? so yeah of course she grows up angry and bitter and hiding those layers of hurt deeply under the surface, scorning all attachment and serious relationships because she knows she can't trust them. she outwardly distances herself from her childhood self by changing her name but she IS still just such a child inside.

she's not ready to settle, to grow up, to become what everyone in her tiny village wants her to be, thinks that she should be — so when she gets the chance to GO, of course she takes it. but she's also not just going to let the doctor off the hook for [gestures] her entire life, you know? the exchanges "people always say that" "i'm not people, do i even look like people?" | "people always have a reason" "do i look like people?" "Yes." always just GUT ME. she may trust him but it's NOT a blind trust, it can't be.

number 3 has to be the beast below it just makes me SCREAM how good that episode is at really developing amy through her compassion for other people — right from the start she sees that kid crying and she thinks the doctor must ignore stuff like this all the time, and she says that she could never do that. she's learning and intuiting leaps and bounds about the doctor with everything he says to her — which is another one of my favorite amy character traits, the way she is SO quick to pick up on things about other people and analyze them. everything that she picks up about the doctor allows her to KNOW what to do to save the star whale, allows her to be confident in the fact that the star whale wanted to help the whole time. the choice is IN HER HANDS she IS THE HERO <3 as she always should be. you couldn't just stand there and watch people cry! all that pain and misery and loneliness and it MADE IT KIND. i don't care how overused that quote is it still HITS !!!

um. number 4 is the girl who waited but my very specific headcanon-ridden interpretation and cutting out all that garbage "rory's the most beautiful man i've ever met" "defying destiny causality the nexus of time itself for a boy" bullshit. idk there's so many terrible things about this episode but it also gave me so much to think about when it comes to amy it's on my mind a LOT. one thing i think about is the way it parallels amy's first abandonment by the doctor — not just in the obvious sense but in the way that she's actively fighting for her life in a hostile atmosphere, but nobody else SEES it as a hostile atmosphere. the two streams facility is leadworth like it really is. and what adds a more chilling component is the way the handbots signature line is "do not be alarmed, this is a kindness" — like all the people who were trying to convince amy she was crazy throughout her entire childhood really thought they were doing her a kindness. they thought they were helping her. but they were killing her. because she wasn't made for that environment.

beyond that i am just obsessed with 36-years-later amy she is an icon she is a legend she is the moment i don't care! every mean thing she said about the doctor and rory was absolutely deserved and in fact she should have been so much meaner! she is SO SMART she makes her own SONIC PROBES OUT OF CAMERA PHONES the fact that she even was able to SURVIVE THAT LONG and in COMPLETE isolation and still retain her own mental faculties is just insane to me it speaks so much about her insane mental strength oh my god it makes me sooo emotional i am tearing up a little typing this right now.

i just am always THINKING about the line "there he is, the voice of god. number one lesson: survive, because no one's coming for you. you taught me that" it says SO MUCH about her. oh my god older amy didn't want to die she'll be kicking and screaming and fighting til the end… i fucking hate this show and picking and choosing when paradoxes should apply OLDER AMY DESERVED TO LIVE

number 5 is probably the power of three but my own very headcanon infused interpretation of it. because it's like. the ultimate miscommunication/misunderstanding that exists between amy and the doctor coming to a head. where amy in 7.02 is like "i can't not wait for you, even now. (…) we think you're weaning us off you" (that line always makes me slow exhale … the phrasing of the doctor as a drug) and the doctor keeps insisting that's not true, "you'll be there until the end of me" "or vice versa" (and they have that loaded held stare and you know they're both thinking about what he said to her before he left in the god complex…)

but it's not until this episode where amy starts to actually believe he means it. at the same time she's spent so much TIME preparing for the inevitable moment where the doctor says goodbye and doesn't say hello ever again that she's not willing to fully hope that the doctor really means it when he says that he would never leave her permanently on purpose. and i love that this episode gives amy a lot of space to verbally communicate her emotions because the later pond episodes SORELY LACK THAT. and amy tells him, don't be nice to me, don't stop coming around just because you think that's the kind thing to do. even though she says herself that she doesn't know if she can have "both" — she knows that she can tell the doctor to stay, in her own way, and that he'll listen.

ideally they would have just gone off traveling together forever after that and the angels take manhattan did not happen but unlike what the doctor says about amy, i don't ever get what i want 🙃

also, this episode gave amy friends that weren't rory or the doctor or river so i love it for that on principal <3 i know amy had fun being the bridesmaid at laura's lesbian wedding. and kate!!

( i do hate that this episode ends with that conversation between brian and the doctor. i hate brian as a character and i will forever. won't get into this right now but OUGH )

honestly this list is kind of wobbly and might change if you asked me in a month so i'll just rattle off other favorite episodes / moments real quickly: the good night minisode (it counts!), RIVER SONG DIDN'T GET IT ALL FROM YOU SWEETIE (timeline frozen amy my beloved!), "i remember it so it happened so i did it," vincent and the doctor specifically when vincent tells amy that he hears the song of her sadness…. ow, i could write a whole other essay about amy's choice and how it is so much more complex than people give it credit for but this post is already so goddamn long

#i literally do apologize for how long this got but you have to understand i was holding myself back . #she is…. everything. to me. i could keep going for so long #amy pond #ask #jonismitchell