#bc that stuff needs to be talked abt! this is more directed towards the takes like ‘tma is badly done cringy kiddie horror at best’

[mysillyside]

I love that classic Adventure Time AU by @/snowflake-owl where Ice King finds baby Finn in the forest before Jake's parents and basically adopts him. (Ice Dad AU for those who don't know!)

Ever since I saw that AU as a kid I always had this extra addition to it in my brain where one day Ice King kidnaps PB (as he does) and she sees baby Finn and is like "OH MY GLOB. Is that an actual real human baby? I thought those were extinct..."

He tells her he found him in a forest and is basically raising him now. And in PB's brain she's like "This moron is definitely gonna kill that kid on accident..."

In the name of science, she decided to make a truce with Ice King: "I'll come to the Ice Kingdom willingly twice a week under the condition I get to study the human child (and you promise not to be a massive weirdo freak towards me)". He ofc immediately agrees. He also (ofc), does not keep his promise not to be a weirdo towards her at first and this causes a lot of (extremely justifiable) conflict. Ultimately he realizes, raising Finn is more important to him than getting with Bubblegum, and he rly does need help with it bc Finn isn't exactly a penguin, being a fragile baby from a presumably extinct species and all. So he tries his best to be normal.

So they basically take turns raising Finn and actually develop a strange kinda sorta friendship over the years.

I will always die on this hill, but Ice King would not be kidnapping princesses if he had a normal social life and ppl to guide him in the right direction (later seasons of AT are proof of this). So y'kno, having ppl to talk to and discourage him from doing bad stuff makes him stop feeding into his worst tendencies yey!

And on PB's end, Ice King's lack of filter and his ability to irritate her (on accident), makes her actually get her emotions out and talk abt how she feels abt things. Like at the start, this would happen on accident by her having a fit of rage where she loses her composure moment, but y'kno over time she'd willingly start ranting abt stuff here and there.

Anyhow you can't take my "Ice King and PB somehow become friends by strange improbable circumstances" AU away from me.

#adventure time #ice king #princess bubblegum #bonnibel bubblegum #finn the human #finn mertens #💬 katposts #my AUs

[acidsaladd]

incoming rant abt a possible ninjago atla au u have been warned

the gist of the au and what i have in me head is that lloyd is the next air avatar but for some reason the air nomads are skeptical/afraid of baby lloyd so misako takes lloyd and skidadles far away from the temple. because of this, lloyd grows up as a regular kid with no air benders around to teach him air bending And no knowledge that hes the avatar (and therefore that he can bend the other elements)

fast forward to when hes like 9?? 10? wu finds him, surprise ur actually the avatar its training time something something big spiritual evil that might be related to garm something something then wu Leaves and so the training bit falls onto the ninja. which. none of them is an airbender mind u and lloyd Still doesnt know airbending. so they teach him the other elements and Hope that he somehow learns air by proxy

i have a very small and not rlly thought out idea for what an equivalent of the aging tea could be but this is basically it in terms of bg and going forward its just ur usual avatar and ninja shenanigans

ok. now. i have a couple ideas for why the air nomads could be wary of lloyd. one is that they know garmadon is his dad and garm has been cursed by a Particularly Evil spirit and so they think evil dad equals evil son and they dont rlly wanna deal with that so they r like we must get rid of the child he will reincarnate either way its no biggie which,,, uhh yea lets not

the other one is that the nomads have discovered that lloyd is going to be the first avatar that is a direct decendant of the first ever avatar (the fsm) and so they want to like?? harness his power or smth idk.

(the only problem with these ideas is that it kinda relies ok the air nomads having kind of violent and evil solutions to problems so i stil. dont rlly know 😭)

the point is!! one way or another, misako starts seriously fearing for lloyds life and the fact that he might not ever have a choice over it as his own so she takes the baby and Runs.

[abt the fsm, raine lowkey gave me this idea entirely so shoutout raine hello but i was thinking that theres two of them. like. u have the FSM, the first ever avatar, all plwerful godly being. and then u have the dad, the f in fsm stands for Father, this guy is just wu and garms dad. i dint have much else thought out for him just. yea]

now. if i want to talk abt the possible aging tea equivalent i need to talk abt garm. soo augh idk abt garm but i think rhe gist of it is that hes been possessed/corrupted by a spirit bc of a deal he made or for messing with a spirit when he was researching things. the point is hes known as this being that brings chaos and stuff but then wu and misako reveal to lloyd like, thats ur dad actually, and misakos being researching ways to bring him back and lloyd stumbles on this research and decides (not so smartly) that if one qants their dad back one must do it himself so. he manages to contact the original spirit that garm annoyed

so they talk and the spirits like "well i Would give him back but he kinda made me lose my time and energy on him for like,, 4/5 years so unless u figure out a way to give me rhat time back i aint giving him to u" and lloyd goes bet take does from me no biggie

so then lloyd makes this deal not rlly knowing what hes doing and he goes back to the real world and suddenly he has a brand new dad and also abt two whole heads more in height woops

(this all happens post training arc starting so lloyd already knows the ninja and has been living with them for a while)

OK NINJA TIME

so ive been Rlly debating whether i should do the Usual thing and just stick em in the element rhat they have in the show. OR (and this is the idea im leaning more towards) i go with vibes. obviously the vibes are still informed and consider their element in the show

ok first kai and nya. i want them both to be fire nation buut idk if i should make them both firebenders or make them have their usual elements. i do wanna let nya be a waterbender, However since they do live in the fire nation (most likely in a more rural town far from the mainland) nya would be a waterbender that uses mostly firebending styles and techniques. i just have always found this type of mix and match they do with aang and zuko specifically SOO COOL i love it so im gifting that to nya

cole is an earthbender obvi. i havent rlly thought much abt cole bc i immediately decided he would stay an earthbender and didnt question him further.

NOW HEAR ME OUT HERE. i kinda rlly want to make jay earth kingdom and leave him as a non bender. why??? bc the Vibes man. i want to rlly focus on his engineering and tinkery side. i think he would still be rlly involved with bending and stuff and he tries to find different uses to bending outside of fighting. maybe him and cole are childhood friends and jay is always bugging cole to try some of his projects with coles bending.

and finally zane!! hes water tribe but i struggled to settle him on either tribe. i think the northern tribe could fit him in the future but i do think he's originally from the south. i feel like the south gives him more potential to be the specific brand of Peculiar that zane was in the beginning of the sbow. and since this is situated pre war, the southern water tribe would be bigger and better off than how we see them in atla so it would be cool to explore that

so im picturing him as the weird son of the local medic and whatever else dr julien gets up to . so maybe dr julien is teaching zane stuff and he gets Rlly Rlly good so they send him to a bigger settlement with better teachers and eventually he decides to leave the south pole to continue learning and stuff.

i do have ideas abt how wu gathers them together but ive ranted way too much so i will make another post on that if i remember to

#THIS GOT SO LING #LONG #I DIDNT EVEN KNOW I HAD THIS MUCH TO SAY #i didnt plan this to be an Actual au its just an idea #but i Do want to mane designs so ??? maybe??? #ninjago #blabbering #should i make a tag #i will #spinjitzu? more like avatar state #thats it. thats the tag

[brandogenius]

PLS ypu did summon me it’s like i felt it in my bones that you had posted this 😭

OK but like one day maybe before tour starts munagenius is hanging out and just talking abt your and muna asking abt openers and the boys being like “YOULL NEVER GUESS, our label is having a CHILD a literal teenager open for us, they haven’t even graduated highschool yet” and munas interest is immediately peaked

meeting them after a show or something and naomi just asking like when you born and readers like “200-“ and their all of munagenius is just “i don’t wanna hear anymore” bc their all in their late 20s- early 30s

i feel like bcs ya is genz they would have a BLAST with muna just knowing their personalities like ya with phoebe and naomi would be fucking shit up

also on stage when reader is opening for boygenius i can totally see munagenius in the wings just doing the wildest shit, like play fighting or grinding on each other or holding handmade sign saying shit like “YOU GO BABY” or “WHO EVEN IS THAT “ or something and readers just trying not to look over every time the crowd starts screaming😭 and the crowds eating up like their so confused but yk twitter is having a feild day during every concert like fans having threads of the things their doing or drinking games for every time munagenius does a certain thing

Them having to go to reader to understand soemthing they saw on the internet like “what does this even mean🤨” and ya is like “grandma(parent) please take your pills and go to bed before you break a hip” also their so confused by a lot of the stuff reader says or readers reposts on tiktok

these are just some but i have so many more but my brain can’t keep up with my typing so I keep forgetting give me a few minutes 😭

YHIS MADE ME SO HAPPT AJWODJDJDJ

it’s giving the meme “what year were you born in” “two thousand and- TWO THOUSAND?!! AND??? say no more nope”

phoebe and naomi deserve their own little chapter just going crazy with ya the VIBES!!!

ya with jo and katie it’s giving wholesome moments but also like munagenius going to an awards show and them being the type to start yelling and barking / blocking you if some random dude even starts walking towards your direction like “THEY ARE WITH US KEEP GOING KEEP WALKING”

katie being one of the people you’re more intimidated / shy by because she is the oldest here outta munagenius but you feel like you can go to her when you need help. “hi hon” “can you help me with my eyeliner?” and it’s just a lot of bonding moments HHH maybe katie giving you a ‘life lesson / prep talk’ before your first awards and ya’s like 🥲🥲🥲🥲 ya crying in big sister issues

reader being an avid and proud tiktok reposter so one of them dming you on imessage from their bunk like “ayo what’s cat dabloons??? who is wisp?? what in the world is floptok” and you’re like “sigh”

#pom speaks #young artist au

[staarry-skies]

gonna be insane abt usamamo for a second im so sorry esp to my moots who do not care about sailor moon my heart goes out to you

read more bc this is so much longer than was intended

i see a lot of the same "theyre only in love because of fate/their superhero alter egos/their past" takes A Lot (to be fair its usually directed at the 90s anime, to which i do agree n understand, however ive also seen it directed at the manga which is why im talking abt it) and i just Do Not Agree, so im gonna talk abt it in a twt thread bc im insane and twt is my outlet for my insanity. (this was originally written for twt but got too long oops.)

starting with the whole "theyre only dating because of past lives" because its the easiest to debunk, its just flat out not true. mamoru n usagi never really got the chance to officially get to together pre-past lives reveal in the manga but its pretty damn clear they were going to, probably the next time they met as civilians and swapped their different keepsakes that they have from each other.

theres also the whole "oh well their feelings are remnants of silmil" which i think takes away a lot of their agency as characters and also just isnt true and is also pretty easily disprovable, usagi likes mamoru for being there for her and supporting her when she needs it, and mamoru likes usagi for being this incredibly strong heroine but also being a normal cheery girl all at the same time.

which leads me to the next point! "they only like each other because of their alter egos", two rebuttals here, they dont exactly stop being tuxedo mask/sailor moon just because theyre out of costume that is still them but i do see why this is a popular criticism. my other thing is that its definitely not true for mamoru, whos usually the one criticized for not truly liking the Real Usagi™️ and only liking her for sailor moon (or serenity but we just went over that and funnily enough this criticism should be directed more to usagi but we'll get into that later).

for this lets go back to why mamoru loves usagi, according to earlier in this post i claimed it was because of the dichotomy between her and sailor moon, the crime fighting warrior, and usagi the happy-go-lucky school girl who always brings a smile to everyones face, thus showing that he loves /all/ of her not just one side over the other.

but me saying so isnt really enough so lets hear it from the boy in question: "its true... for a long time the crystal was the only thing i wanted... but now when i see her... angry one moment then laughing the next... the crystal? no thats not what i really want... usako youre what i want" - (crystal ep 7) so... yeah thats pretty cut and dry, oh yeah nows also a good time to mention that ill be pulling stuff from crystal too because of the nature of crystal having been more closely supervised by naoko and being a stricter manga adaptation, any scenes it adds are retroactively canon to the mangaverse (at least to me, but if youre looking for a similar line from the manga: "youre strong today sailor moon, everyday i feel like im seeing a different side to you, is there other versions of you ive yet to meet? i want to know everything, who are you really?" - (chapter 8) same idea as the crystal quote just a lot more vague lol)

also this is reflected in more than just words, its actions too, tuxedo mask is a lot more closed off towards sailor moon earlier on and its not until chapter 4 that he starts being a lot more openly caring and affectionate, and you wanna know what happens in chapter 4? he finds out sailor moon is usagi, and it doesnt take a lot of media literacy to put two and two together to figure out why that shift happens there.

now for usagi, remember when i said the whole "liking the alter-egos" criticism applies to her more but is never directed at her? well heres why, we never really see her civilian relationship with mamoru develop much on her end before the reveal, she is of course attracted to mamoru but on a way more superficial level (usagis pretty notorious for her immediate, but ultimately kinda surface level crushes on people: see rei).

she denies her crush but its pretty obvious she has one, for example when mako points out that usagis blushing after one of their interactions and asks about it and she insists pretty loudly that she "doesnt like him!" but never really explains the blush (earlier in the same scene when she sees mamoru she blushes and b-dmp! is written in the bg, keep in mind he hasnt done or said anything yet so its not embarrassment) and then theres chapter 3 where she recognizes that his profile sorta looks like tuxedo mask which she'd actively try to deny if she didnt like him like she says she does, so its pretty obvious she has a crush on mamoru.

but her relationship with tuxedo mask is what gets more development, she goes from that superficial crush she has on mamoru to liking him for deeper reasons than just: pretty guy! i.e. helping her, being there for her, and grounding her when she needs it. also in the same vein as her recognizing him in chapter 3 the reveal is her just recognizing him as tuxedo mask, which obviously she has to like mamoru quite a bit to do (even if the evidence was quite literally all around her) (in saying all of this i do think pgsm does a much better job at showing her genuinely falling for all of him but pgsm also skews more towards the 90s anime in terms of characterization so i wont be using that).

and finally "usamamo are only together/feel pressured to be together because of fate/chibiusa" short answer: no. long answer: noooooooooo. no but in all seriousness this flat out isnt true, if you'll remember the first 14 chapters of the manga are kinda. yk. dedicated to this. their fate isnt to "be together" their fate is to literally DIE if they dare attempt to be together again, they are together DESPITE fate, like i dont even know how else to put it because multiple characters comment on fate repeating itself when it comes to dooming usamamo, they werent reincarnated to be together they were reincarnated to be happy and live normal peaceful lives.

as for fate as in the future, thats pretty easily disprovable because its ALSO something the manga goes over, during the dream arc when mamorus suffering from nehelennias curse he starts feeling guilty and selfish for constantly being a burden on usagi to the point he asks her if she really does want a future with him, even saying that he feels horrible for potentially tying her down to a future she might not want, which yk would kinda not be a concern he would have if he was only with her for the creation of crystal tokyo (side note: nowhere does it say usamamo NEED to be together for crystal tokyo to exist, usagi could very well rule alone like queen serenity or with any other partner, its just that the current timeline has them together in ct) as for usagis response, mamoru falls asleep before he can hear it, but she says point blank that she can change the future if she wants. So. Yeah. dont really think i need to say much more than that on that front.

And the last part of the "fate saga", "theyre only together to have chibiusa" which is such a crazy and lowkey highkey misogynistic sentiment, but for arguments sake lets take a look at why its completely wrong, first off, again. "i can change the future as much as i want" - (chapter 40) she could have chibiusa by other means (for example the way queen serenity had serenity) but also, the reason they care so much about chibiusa is because she's a product of their love, they obviouly care about her as a person but they wouldnt just force themselves to be together just to have her and her alone (if that makes sense i have no idea how to phrase what im trying to say) in any case its a really gross thing to say because it insinuates a lot of really weird things!

if you made it through all that you deserve like a medal or something but thanks for listening to my silly little thoughts about my favorite couple right now

#sailor moon #bishoujo senshi sailor moon #bssm #pgsm #pretty guardian sailor moon #sera myu #sailor moon crystal #seramyu #sere shut up about usamamo #usamamo #mamousa #usagi tsukino #mamoru chiba #usagi x mamoru #mamoru x usagi #sere.txt #this was once a twt thread once upon a time #and then i just . #yeah.

[greaterspawnislands]

(This is the separate ask I would genuinely love to hear your thoughts on how other stream sub groups operate differently it's just so fascinating to me)

YEAH!!! Also it's so very cute to me how supportive and patient he was with Kristen when she was first considering streaming <333

At first she just kinda popped into chat and on stream rarely and he never forced her to stay if she didn't. Over time she just got used to and wanted to interact with chat more! Until she started streaming herself and he's been 100% supportive the entire time. Literal A+ husband material you can tell how much he loves her and its so sweet,,,,

YEAH ok so about the kristin thing at first so recently i've been watching all of phil's s4 videos and i'm getting to the end of 2019 aka they're preparing for their wedding and phil's in the process of getting a visa and it's so :))

i currently have two kristin stream vods in my watch later (bc i've been busy) and im so excited to get to themm it's been awesome to see kristin get more confident in streaming bc she is so funny!! i really love tuning into her streams they are such nice spaces :) also i miss parents sdv i hope they play again

ANYWAYS ok so my ramblings about phil's community is just. hold on i need to put this under cut because the more i write out the more it feels like inane bullshit but whatever we're here now

i feel like out of all of the streamers who have grown their communities in the boom of 2020/dsmp era phil's has been the most interesting to me. obviously biased here bc this is my community but ok. I'm not going to say that phil's fanbase is "the best" because that's obviously a subjective take but i think part of what makes it stand out to me is that it skews significantly older than any of the other streamers fanbases. routinely, we've heard from donos that there are teachers or people with full jobs who are donating to phil's streams. now, obviously we've heard plenty from high school age and younger, but for the most part those people tend to be sbi fans, or crimeboys fans who also enjoy phil - totally valid, etc, but they're not who i'm talking about.

the people who main phil tend to be older, which shapes a pretty different community that has a much less active presence on places like twitter. Those who are on twitter tend to not have nearly as much of a drive for clout as other subtwts - obviously there are exceptions, there always are, im trying not to speak as a total generalization - but i can't think of too many c!phil mains with thousands upon thousands of followers compared to other subtwts. And i think that again mostly comes down to like . it's just an older fanbase so they don't care abt that stuff as much.

oh and also! early gang as a central hub for most people who main phil i think helps a lot because, similar to tumblr, no character limit directly correlates to like. more critical thinking being used and less automatic aggression towards other people in the way twitter pushes to the forefront of every interaction. so as a whole the community comes across as far more chill than other subtwts/etc bc they aren't using twitter as their primary hub of communication

but i also think phil has had a direct impact on how his fans act on twitter regardless of age. the example that immediately comes to mind is when uh. ok. so idk if u were on twitter at all circa late 2020-early 2021, but subtwt selfie days were Alllll the rage back then, there was basically one or multiple every single day of the month for various ccs and duos/groups/etc. and i remember when it started popping off, phil got asked about it on stream and he very seriously talked about how he wasn't comfortable having a selfie day tagged after him, because he didn't like the fact that so many people, many who were high school age/teenagers, were putting their face on the internet for literally anyone to look at. i think he was the only cc who really spoke out about the ramifications of having your face online like that, and i know for me it was the first time i took a step back and went "yeah wait this is kind of fucking weird". it obviously didn't stop the selfie days for any other ccs, or the sbi selfie day, but his fans listened, and there was no phil selfie day ever again, and i think it's that kind of communication between phil and his audience that sort of helped develop his community in that direction, being mindful of internet bullshit and all that jazz. it's that kind of way he looks out for fans and the like that makes me really appreciate him and his community all the more. i just really like telling that bit of his history bc it was important to me in that time

again i don't know if this makes . too much sense. i sort of just started rambling and didn't stop to think if i was making any real points. this is all just to say that i love early gang, love philza, loveposting hours are so real i love this old man

#speaking #philza #thebleedingeffect #ask

[izzy-b-hands]

He’s Just One More

Flashback and forthing Blackhands, from friendship to very undefined/needs to be talked about but that shit ain’t gonna happen for ages More of Some Sort

Centering around Izzy ‘hey if I’m sick in some way I definitely should fight being made better as hard as possible bc I’m convinced I don’t deserve it’ Hands fdlaksjlsa (no one at me abt projecting on a character rn either fdskalfjaslk)

Title from JCSS bc we’re watching various versions rn and this particular lyric smacked me along with this story idea in the shower like Norman Bates if he was really bad at stabbing, so it basically Has to Stay as the title I think (plus there’s elements of the story that can be thought abt in relation to the idea of that phrase, Izzy as Just One More child to his mother, person Ed knows, pirate, etc)

---

“You look like shit.”

Izzy nods. “So I’ve heard.”

“You’re either taking him off my hands, or you aren’t,” his mother repeats to Ed’s mum. “Which is it?”

“I can’t take-”

“Then if he lives, he lives,” his mother continues on with her laundry folding, all in rapid fire rhythm, not a hem missing in meeting its brother. “And if he dies-”

“Ed, grab him.”

He hears his mother’s shouts, demands for some compensation, but she won’t pursue it. She didn’t with his older siblings, and she won’t with the ones that come after him either. They stay with her until they’re no longer useful, or can’t work, or simply don’t amuse her anymore.

“Of little use, breathing or dead.”

“What’s that?” Ed asks, holding him up and hustling him along the beach towards home.

“Nothing. Just something she used to s-”

“Fuck what she has to say,” he scoffs. “She was going to let you die.”

“I know. I was expecting it.”

“Well, start expecting something different.”

--

“You look like fucking shit,” Jim frowns. “The fuck is wrong with you?”

“Stuck on this godforsaken ship in this godforsaken storm, just like you,” Izzy spits back.

“I didn’t mean the seasick thing,” Jim continues. “That’s all of us right now.”

They nod in warning, and duck their head away to vomit over the rail.

“So I see. Is there any task you’re requiring guidance or assistance with then?”

“No, but you-”

“Call if you need me,” Izzy interrupts and does his best to stalk away, inflamed foot screaming in pain. It feels like laying his foot down slowly on a boiling hot pan with every step.

It’s not how Blackbeard would have handled traveling near this storm. But then, this is the Kraken. This is different, and how he feels-

He cuts off his own thought with an audible grumble and pushes it away.

--

“Israel Basilica Hands, you will eat,” Mother Teach shoves the bowl of oatmeal into his hands. “Your mother is going around taking bets on when you’ll die.“

“Let’s make sure we’re off by at least one day either direction then.”

“Edward! I wash my hands of him for now!”

“No, hey,” Izzy protests, but she only gives him a smirk.

“Izzy!” Ed thunders in the front door and has it sussed out in a heartbeat. “Not eating?”

“Not exactly.”

“Iz,” he drops onto Izzy’s lap, nearly onto the bowl. “I could be out making money right now, couldn’t I?”

“Making money,” Mother Teach scoffs. She’s well aware the two of them don’t work any sort of traditional job (how could they, with the rumor that Ed killed his father, and that if Izzy didn’t help, he at least knew), hates talking about the rich visitors they rob, but can’t ever manage to not comment on it.

She’s a proper mum, in that way. Different from his own, and while it drives Ed mad, it’s almost endearing to Izzy.

“If I start to eat, will you go back out to work?”

“Dunno. You’ll have to start eating, and we’ll see.” 

“Oh look,” Mother Teach shoves a bowl into Ed’s hands. “Where did this come from?”

“Mum, I can eat lat-”

If looks could kill, their faces would be melting off into their oatmeal.

“Thank you,” Ed smiles instead, but shakes his head as soon as she heads outside again. “You have to just eat when she gives you stuff. We can’t keep doing this and-”

He sits up, stares at the oatmeal, and then at Izzy. “You’re doing this so I wind up eating lunch with you, aren’t you?”

Izzy shrugs, and begrudgingly digs in. It isn’t that any of the food is ever bad, he just hates the idea of living when his mother wants him alive, or dying right as she wants him dead.

“Is nice to eat again. Not doing that well out there, today.”

“In other words, had you not been near enough to hear your mum call for you just now, you’d be running around still and not eating until dinner, right?”

Ed smirks, and shrugs, and digs in just before his mum leans in the doorway to check on them.

--

Frenchie takes the square plate from him. “I don’t mind taking it back with mine.”

“I can take my things back to the galley on my own,” Izzy reaches for his cane, and the plate again. “I’m a grown fucking man, for pity’s sake.”

“Yeah, who has a foot swollen like a fucking...” Fang studies Izzy’s foot. “Huh. Frenchie, we need fruits set up for comparison sizing, don’t we?”

“I mean, I’d put that about small coconut at least,” Frenchie says. “All the more reason to just let me walk all our fucking plates back at once!”

He puts his hand down, and settles back into his spot sat on the deck. “You make a good point. Thank you.”

“Sorry, what?”

“He won’t repeat it,” Fang says. “Just soak it in now. He gets easier to deal with when he’s sick. Well, in some ways. Other ways he gets worse.”

“I’d noticed.”

Izzy waits until Frenchie is out of earshot before turning to Fang. “You really think it’s that bad?”

“Your foot? I feel like if you have to ask, you already know the answer,” Fang replies. “But yeah. You gotta tell Ed.”

“Blackbeard is busy keeping us alive.”

“I didn’t say Blackbeard,” Fang insists. “That’s been more a title than anything else for years, hasn’t it?”

“The fuck is this all coming from?”

“Because if you die, what the fuck do you think eventually happens to the rest of us?” Fang hisses. “Stop being so fucking selfish, and tell him to find you help before that rots off and takes you with it!”

He can only blink, and nod. “Thank you, Fang. For your honesty.”

Fang shakes his head, but he does let out a short laugh. “You’re welcome. You’re fucking weird as ever, but you’re welcome.”

--

“We don’t have the money for it,” Izzy shakes his head, or he feels like he might be. Then again, the fever has him shaking randomly in general, so even if he hasn’t shaken it yet, he’ll get to it.

“I’m sorry, are either of you the head of this household?” Mother Teach snaps.

He can see the thought in Ed’s head. Technically, if they polled anyone else in town, they would unfortunately hand that title to Ed, not his mum.

In reality, she’s the adult and the one bringing in the most funds, and so it’s on her order that they wrap up as warmly as possible and head out together.

The nearest, better doctor is visiting a few miles away. If they go under cover of night, they’ll get there faster.

“If I die, just leave me out here,” Izzy mutters, shivering in Ed’s grasp as they stumble forwards over rock and root and occasional sand.

“I will do no such thing. You wouldn’t leave me out here.”

“Maybe I would.”

“You can’t fucking lie for shit,” Ed laughs. “Why do you even try?”

“Bad habit?”

Ed punches his side playfully out of habit, then winces. “I forgot! Fuck-”

“I’m okay,” Izzy grimaces. “Whatever is going wrong in there wasn’t going to suddenly start going right, with or without the extra punch.”

Ed giggles. “I could have helped kill you! Don’t make me laugh about that.”

“Well, now I’ve got to tell jokes the whole fucking way!”

“You’re terrible.”

“You’re wavy.”

“...you might need to sit down for a moment.”

They drop into a copse of trees, some felled and left to create a semi-covered pocket of leaves and branches to hide in.

Soon, they’ll be too old and too big to hide in spots like this. Well, Ed might get there, at least.

Izzy can accept, as he passes out there in Ed’s arms, that he might not.

--

“The crew has requested I bring it to your attention,” Izzy finishes quickly. “I regret I couldn’t take care of it myself.”

“Ew,” Ed stares at his foot. “Is that from...oh.”

He gulps. “If you cover that back up with your sock right now, I swear I’ll find us a port to stop at and get you looked over. You can afford it, right?”

“I’ve rings yet hoarded away I could sell,” Izzy nods.

“Good. Next port, we’ll find someone,” Ed shakes his head. “How did you let it get that bad, Iz? You’re my first mate; you’re supposed to know when to ask for help! How the fuck am I supposed to trust-”

He pauses. “Never mind. Go on about your work. I’ll update yourself and the crew on the new destination shortly.”

Izzy staggers back outside, grateful for his cane, yet pondering what he might get for it. He won’t sell the ring on the knot of his scarf, but aside from that one, he’s only a couple others left.

That might not be enough for whatever a surgeon will say needs doing on his foot.

“He said yes, right?” Fang asks, coming up beside him as he makes his way onto the deck.

“He did. So long as I can afford it, and I’ll make sure I can. Worry not.”

“I think we should still be worrying a little.”

“I think Ed will tell us if we need to worry or not.”

Fang’s eyes meet his, just for a second. “I think you just called him Ed instead of Kraken, or Blackbeard.”

He’s off in Frenchie’s direction before Izzy can say a word about it.

--

There’s a lot of the doctor’s visit he doesn’t remember.

But, if asked, he could recall how Ed had dragged him the rest of the way to the next village over (and yes, they were older teens, but it was dark and they were tired and no amount of youth makes it easier to drag one’s dying friend to help.)

He could talk about Ed getting in the surgeon’s face and insisting that he do something, anything, within reason.

The surgery itself is a mystery. Ed tells him later about a growth pulled from him and the warning that there could be a recurrence and that the same issues with his stomach would come up again and again as one of the few signs, and, and, and a thousand more horrifying things about his body.

What he remembers best is waking up at home, covered in the same quilt he and Ed had used to drag out to the beach as younger kids. After all, stargazing was only comfortable for so long on bare sand.

Mother Teach had never let him pay back any of it. Every time he’d slipped money somewhere she might find it later, it wound up back in his or Ed’s trouser pockets after they were cleaned.

He’d still be trying to pay her back today, if they hadn’t left.

--

“Okay, so do that then,” he hears Ed scoff. “Fine, you need more money? I have fucking money, more fucking money than you could dream of, and-”

He raises a hand to try and stop Ed, but Jim slaps it down.

“Just lay there and shush,” they hiss. “Do you know where you are?”

He peers around. It’s a room, but that’s probably not as much detail as Jim is wanting.

So he shrugs.

“Captain,” Jim stresses the word, and there’s a mush of images in his head that follow.

Mostly being carried elsewhere, then dosed with morphine, and potentially Frenchie nearly sitting on him? Why, he can’t possibly imagine.

“You look like shit,” Ed kneels by his cot, and Izzy waits for something. An order, or a complaint, or a reminder that after this is over, he needs to get his shit together.

But Ed just switches to sitting, head leaned against the edge of the cot.

--

“As if we would have let anything happen to you,” Ed scoffs, and an arm wraps around his waist. “As If I would have let anything happen to you.”

“It very nearly did regardless.”

“Well, it won’t happen again,” Ed continues and pulls him close. “We have a boat, which will lead us to where we’ll eventually steal our ship-”

“Is it ours if we haven’t stolen it yet?”

“Not with that attitude, it isn’t. Anyway, we steal our ship, and then we find our fortune. If you get sick ever again, after that, it won’t even be a worry. We’ll have money to just have a surgeon around, forever.”

“Ever ready to try and keep me alive for you?”

“And for yourself,” Ed smiles. “And to spite your mum.”

“I suppose the first and last are convincing enough,” Izzy sighs happily. “You tell your mum we’re leaving tonight?”

“Not yet. Waiting until just before we go.”

“Probably for the best. It’ll hurt no matter when or how we do this, won’t it?”

“Yeah. But it’ll be worth it.”

--

“I’ll make sure I’m worth it,” Izzy murmurs to Ed, sleeping hard, still leaned against his cot. “Every cent you have to pay for this. To keep me alive, again.”

There’s no response, but Ed’s hand flops up onto the cot, and scrabbles for a moment.

Then it clicks.

He places his hand into Ed’s, and the gloved fingers slow and curl around his.

#text post #long post #idk abt ship tagging for this one bc it's just sorta...there fdksajfdsal #like there's the implication that the ending of this isn't bad for any of them but also it ends mid-oh fuck shit scenario too fdskajflkd #basically i only want folks to look at this if they really want to lmaooo but there's no way to do that re: tags so #here we be

[vamossainz55]

So glad we’re in agreement on the parents topic! 😄

I think those people who hold what Carlos’ parents do against him are mostly the same group of people who hate Carlos on principle, nitpicking everything he does or says 🤷‍♀️ I imagine they want to be bullies in real life but are too afraid of consequences so they resort to social media to live out their mean girl fantasies online where you can say anything without any repercussions (unless you’re a celeb I guess). It’s the sad reality we live in. He gets hate when he’s realistic in interviews about ferrari’s results which somehow means he doesn’t have a champion mentality, but when he says he wants to win - he’s totally delusional. Like, pick a struggle, people haha. Or like drama the other day, that he hasn’t been a Ferrari fan since birth therefore isn’t as worthy of support as Charles. Just all these stupid things that make my head explode every time I see it. Why would anyone waste their time posting obsessively about someone they don’t like? I will never understand.

Again, I’m not talking about all Charles fans of course, just those hardcore stans that dedicate their socials to Carlos hate more than to supporting their fav. I like to believe that in a couple of years they’ll look back on what they were doing and be ashamed and learn to never do it again to anyone, celeb or not.

I also want to say that I’m sad that Carlos barely posts on social media himself but at the same time I hope it means he doesn’t see all this stuff, because when this kind of animosity is directed towards you over the silliest things, I think it’s harder to get over it in a way, because you can’t explain it logically to yourself…

so so glad we are in agreement about the parents thing too, i feel like so many people lose touch of reality and forget that theyre humans who have family, friends, that arent a full representation of them 😫.

you might get me introuble w the whole charles thing but… i agree. some (not all at all) are very questionable. i do think they actively as you mentioned spend more time talking abt carlos then their fav which ? why 😭 (ive mainly seen it on f1twt tbh). like the online hate is ridiculous- i also recently realised its really reserved online? i had this perspective that so many of the tifosi disliked carlos but the whole monza weekend he was so so loved. i was so surprised until i realised its literally a problem that mainly exists online 💀.

but im gonna be honest as well, charles as well gets quite a bit of hate. after monza i saw it increase a bit, which i do not stand for and i think overall that those people online should take their heads out of their ass and focus on bringing their favorite driver up than tearing another one down. you can support your favorite driver without rooting for the downfall of another. can your driver only be good/better if the other driver is shitty? is that the image you want? i also agree anon, they’re probably repressed irl and need to release negativity through comments.

i really miss how active carlos was on social media, im sad that i missed his mclaren era and just posting for fun. ofc we get the occasional post here and there but the vibe is really different. but yeah- at the end of the day it might be better that he doesnt see the hate but at the same time i dont think it changes much bc hed still be online… just not posting as often. im just kind of sad we see less of his personality more than anything else ):

anyways this ended up soooo long hehe. hope it wasnt too much but waa i love these types of discussions

#nik rambles #vamossainz55 answers #anon <3 #chismes con nik !

[ajdrawshq]

ztd crossover with kh but it's just Carlos meeting Terra, Diana meeting Aqua and Sean meeting Ven. Cursed or blessed concept. Go

HM. WELL. i immediately leaned toward cursed bc like (gestures vaguely at ztd) but that feels mean so im gonna try putting some thought into this

Carlos and Terra :] very good pair for the most part i think. just 2 big older bros doing what they do to try to help people.. but it all goes to shit kupo. i can see them getting along pretty well, both due to their personal experiences and bc of who they are in general. also now that i think abt it its kinda funny that both of them happen to be plagued by visions but only Carlos' have an actual explanation?? Terra morphogenetic field moment?? even funnier is that both of them have the same "welp. anyway" reaction to it like yeah this just happens sometimes 👍 kind of unfortunate Terra couldnt use his to prevent bad things from happening too but oh well. its not like hopping timelines is that easy in his universe anyway. Terra still gets bonus points on an individual level bc while there was very little he couldve done differently there Are things Carlos couldve just uh. not done. yknow. things that i think Terra would kick his ass over tbh

Diana and Aqua.... oof. on god we're gonna get u girls some therapy. they were both so severely fucked over by like. literally everything from ingame events to the narrative itself. trapped in two different but absolute hellholes of sitautions for Very Long Amounts of Time and only called upon as a pawn in a game that both defines and ruins their lives and their entire world, and they barely even know it. and the only people they get to talk to at some point in their respective hells are Sigma and Micheal Mouse (and Terra sort of).. yea i think id lose it too tbh. its interesting that Diana was a 100% crucial part of why ztd happened while Aqua's role in Xehanorts plan wasnt really until ddd/kh3 unless u count him planning the whole end of bbs.. before that she was more of an outside force? not that taking her out wouldnt change anything ofc but her direct actions were more harmful to the overall plan than going according to it. i might need to play bbs again to confirm that more but uhh i forgot where i was going with this. i could see them getting along but i dont really remember enough about Diana as a person to know just how well they would? i guess itd at least be nice to have someone else who knows what their oddly specific and horrific situations are like, more or less

finally Sean n Ven.. Man. talk abt kids who cant catch a break for their entire lives no matter how outragously short OR long. they both just have a Lot going on and play some of the most major roles in their respective stories and god knows they didnt ask for any of it!! tho weirdly enough i dont feel much for Sean considering how he fits into the kinda characters i usually get attached to. but maybe thats just bc it was ztd. anyway !! out of the 3 duos here i think these two are most likely to become actual friends. from the memory fuckery to having a greater role in everything than they couldve imagined (both of them essentially being a key at some point..) to even just. having a very limited world in some way. and not having full control over their bodies. and several other major things im probably forgetting they both have. lots and lots and lots of things. they are friends to me

and just some general other thoughts - while im. not entirely sure how to feel abt what ztd does with the morphogenetic field i can at least appreciate the weird memory stuff that comes with body hopping and the possibilities that has when tied to all the other weird memory stuff that already happens in kh for similar or different reasons. like the way ztd (and vlr to some extent) went about it didnt quite hit the way i wanted it to but the concept is cool to me? itd be fun to play around with it in the context of kh i think. or vice versa. altho maybe introducing multiple timelines to the kh universe isnt the best idea.. hm. much to think about

but yeah!!!! overall verdict: mostly blessed with some underlying hints of cursed. like a weird aftertaste

#just realizing that i wrote the whole Diana n Aqua one under the assumption that Diana would remember that but i #honestly have no idea if she does.? #ive been thinking abt this for DAYS u have no idea #i feel like i couldve gone more in depth with most of this but every time ive gone to write more on this its been like 6am #ty for this tho it was fun trying to think abt all this :3 #id like to hear what u think abt each of em as well - i never thought abt the parallels between em all but they do fit each other well #ask #mortellanarts #ztd #kh

[fencesandfrogs]

@jokingmaiden replied to your post “@jokingmaiden replied to your post “okay, i have...”:

i’m glad i could help!! also yes please on the Inside Guys help bc my therapist and i have been talking abt it and i’m getting unreasonably frustrated

okay so uhh you definitely have to start where you are. i have reasonably good communication bc idk 🤷‍♂️ i'm just like that ig? but like. step one is recognizing when parts are around.

(aside: i'm gonna use parts language because it's more general imo. also because it's the language i prefer. replace parts with alters/headmates/brain guys/etc as you prefer, content doesn't change. seriously ur allowed to call ur guys whatever you want as long as it works for you. i mean don't be rude. but i was reading about this & as long as it works for you and yours therapy best practices say you can use that language. i like parts. if you want to call them goddamn planets in ur solar system u can do that.)

okay where was i.

right so like. as i understand it, the general outline for this is to grab every and any communication you have. leave notes somewhere you can't miss them. if you have people you trust who can hold messages. it doesn't matter, whatever you need to do to start communication lines. i don't have great advice for that bc i did not really have to do a lot of it. *shrug*

frankly internal communication is easier for me, for Reasons (tm c r).

so what i was saying earlier is that you start to recognize intrusions. moments where you feel another part's emotions, or you realize you're not acting like yourself. it might take practice. but when you find one of these moments, i like to just sit and turn my attention inward and sort of. "who's upset? what's going on?"

ur goal here is not to necessarily share memories/information, but just try to be present at the same time. like what i mean is. eg with one part, the last time she was upset, i ended up playing a game with her & being silly because neither of us are ready to address things.

i'm kind of all over the place right now because i think this is all very jumbled. like this process is a mess.

but okay, the idea here is. there are these great thick walls between you, right? they're trying to keep heavy shit from crossing thru. so you want to try to do lighthearted stuff that can "pass over" the top of the wall. you probably aren't ready to talk about what's going on, but maybe you can watch a funny show together.

and like, take any step however small as progress here. re my story from last time, the total amount of together time was probably all of five minutes, which was a hugely large amount of time for us. the previous record of us coexisting in a way that wasn't an argument was like...30 seconds?

but demonstrating curiosity and openness to inner experiences is just a big first step.

did sos is my usual resource for this kind of thing, so definitely poke around there to see if there's anything. usually i would direct you to stuff, but i'm not sure what exactly to point you towards because it depends on where you are.

this post is about system communication, and it offers some more resources.

<3

#mine #jokingmaiden #disorderposting #if you want to dm me for more specific advice lemme know #ik this was kind of all over the place #i'm a little all over the place LOL

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

notoriously yours | jay park

✰ summary: jay park is a rich kid. it’s safe to say he has everything every broke college student on his campus could dream of and more. but the one thing he doesn’t have, which money definitely can’t buy, is a girlfriend. and his friends won’t see of it. literally.

so what happens when his friends bet him to date someone for more than three months? what happens when jay decides that fake-dating someone would be easier than actual dating (because god forbid Jay–the campus’ notoriously known fuckboy–decides to commit to something once in his life)?

and what happens when that someone is you, his childhood best friend he hasn’t spoken to in years..who has absolutely no interest in being in his life anymore?

✰ pairing: jay park x y/n [ft. members of enha]

✰ genre: fluff, comedy, angst | fakedating!au, college!au, childhoodbestfriends!au, (kinda) e2l!au

✰ warnings: cursing, nothing suggestive but jay's a fuckboy so slightly suggestive themes, mentions of parental neglect/leaving, it's hella long (and i thought my last fic was long)

✰ wc: 14.7k (how did i get it this long oh lord)

✰ author's note: picture creds go to original owners/editors! peep that edit of jay that lowkey inspired this entire fic 👀also this took me so, so long bc i lost motivation half way thru and bc college is a thing,,,so i honestly don't know how to feel abt it so pls bare with me :')))) ALSO the dividers are weird bc idk how to add more than 10 pics for the dividers so pls excuse those ٩(× ×)۶i hope u guys enjoy!! <333

⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺

Jay Park is a rich kid.

Jay Park has enough to buy every textbook he needs for his courses without having to look up the free versions online. Jay Park has enough to bribe his professors to let him pass every class with a perfect 4.0 GPA (but because the boy has morals, he doesn't). Jay Park has enough to afford a car to drive to his furthest class from his dorm building instead of walk or bike like every other college student, meaning he also has enough to afford a parking spot on campus (those things aren't cheap!).

Jay Park walks around your school's campus like he owns the place (and considering the amount of money his family has donated to the school, he practically does), looking like he just walked out of your local coffee shop's newest fashion magazine. His blonde hair is never seen untouched, his attire usually consisting of an undoubtedly high-end all-black fit, accessorized with multiple earrings and rings that probably cost more than all the overpriced textbooks you had to rent out this semester. It's safe to say that everyone knows Jay Park.

Bottom line is, Jay Park has everything.

Well, his friends beg to differ.

In their eyes, Jay Park has everything but a simple factor in the equation of love (or whatever love is to the minds of a couple of 19 year olds): commitment.

So yes, it's safe to say that everyone knows Jay Park. Because everyone knows he's the campus' rich fuckboy. (What's a college fanfic campus without one anyways?)

Jay doesn't go unreminded of this by his friends, to the boy's annoyance.

Jay is aware of this on a Sunday afternoon, in his dorm building's first floor lounge, where he and his said friends are having a study session.

They're doing anything but studying.

In fact, no one has any books out or anything. Not a single laptop in site.

"You don't think it's the slightly bit concerning?" Jake's words are muffled as he continues munching on the fried chicken that he spent majority of this study session debating if he should have it delivered through UberEats or not.

"I really don't, no," Jay shrugs as he continues mindlessly scrolling through his Instagram feed. They're having the same argument conversation that they've revisited multiple times over the course of their friendship, one that Jay has been lectured on too many times for his own good. He thinks his friends could become his new parents if they really tried.

"Look at it this way, okay. You're about to graduate college in a couple of years, into the big world. Like the actual, adult world. And that means you'll have to settle down. Which you can't do when you. have. no. commitment!" Jake punctuates each word with a single clap of his hands, desperate to get his point across.

Jay simply rolls his eyes. He looks over to Sunghoon, who's minding his own business, not bothered by the same topic he's heard over and over again. His eyes tell Jay you're on your own, in response to his blonde-haired friend's look of despair.

Jay thinks that maybe he should get new friends. Yes, that's the only solution here.

"My love life," Jay reaches across the table for a drumstick from the greasy tub seated in Jake's lap until Jake swats his hand away, "is none of your business. Also, ouch."

"Uh, it kinda is. Because of you and your reputation around campus, it kinda affects us, your best friends. How do you think we look, hanging out with the guy who's known to ghost every girl in existence after one night with them? No offense to you," Jake deadpans to him. Jay mentally reconsiders the term best friends.

Tough love. Jay tells himself it's tough love.

"Yes, because every girl totally hates Jake Sim, the teacher assistant of a physics class who volunteers at the pet shelter every Sunday and brings their pet golden retriever to campus every two weeks," Jay rolls his eyes at his Australian friend.

Jake sighs. "Okay, then I'm coming from a place of worry for you."

Jay groans. "Again, none of your business!" This doesn't stop Jake. He comes from good intentions, really, but Jay wants nothing more than to stuff the kid's mouth with some of that chicken to shut him up.

"What are you gonna do if one day you meet someone you like, genuinely like, and you screw yourself over because you've never been in an actual relationship before? A real, committed one. Like one that lasts at least three months."

"You don't think I can last three months in a relationship?" Jay questions the boy currently taunting him.

"Honestly? No. What's the longest relationship you've been in?" Jake cocks an eyebrow at his friend across from him.

One month and two weeks. But Jay's smart enough to not say that out loud.

"I can so last over three months," Jay mutters more to himself than Jake.

Jake laughs at that, pausing to take another bite of the drumstick in his hand. "Jay, I am willing to actually bet you. Bet that you wouldn't be able to." He leans back on the couch, the ball now in Jay's court.

Jay freezes, looking up from his phone, narrowing his eyes at Jake.

"Forget it, Jake. He's not gonna agree even if you offered him money," Sunghoon finally perches from beside him. Well he's not wrong. It's not like Jay is exactly in need of more money, per say.

"What kind of bet are we talking here?"

Sunghoon's right. Jay doesn't need the money, but he does hate being wrong. Even if it's over something as stupid as this matter.

Caught off guard by the blonde's answer, Jake blinks blankly at him and takes a second to think.

"Hmm..what about...what about if you can date someone for at least three months, and I mean an actual, committed relationship, then I'll do all of your physics homework next semester."

Jay's eyes sparkle at that. If there's anything he despises more than commitment, it's physics.

"And if I win, you have to buy all of my textbooks," Jake sits back from the edge of his seat with a smirk lying on his face.

Jay pauses to think about it. I mean, what does he have to lose? A couple hundred dollars over college textbooks? No. Because he just simply won't lose.

And maybe he'll learn what it'll be like to actually be in a committed relationship for once. Maybe he'll finally learn what it's like to actually devote yourself to someone, open up to them. He shivers at the thought. Never mind. He'll warm up to it. Baby steps.

Nonetheless, what could go wrong? Even if he does lose, at least his money would be going somewhere productive––towards his friend's education. Jay was probably gonna use that money on something useless like a blanket that resembles a tortilla (a burrito blanket, he calls it)––something he doesn't necessarily need, but must have, he would argue.

"Fine. Whatever, okay. Deal," he grabs Jake's extended hand in front of him and shakes on it.

Jake's impressively smiling at the boy as Sunghoon lets out a sigh, in disbelief with the two guys he calls his best friends.

Jay concludes that this will be easier than his Introduction to Photography 101 course he took his freshman year. How hard is it to find someone to date the Jay Park? Surely, everyone will be lining up once Jay switches his FaceBook relationship status from "it's complicated" to "single".

Turns out, it's not as easy as his class where all Jay had to do was take pictures of a pretty sunset, slap a VSCO filter on, and call it a day.

He comes to this realization on a Wednesday evening, as he's seated at one of the many study tables lined in the middle of the campus' library, staring down at his phone's dry iMessage app, with his laptop and blank sheets of scratch paper scrambled across the entire table, as an attempt to look half as studious as the other students studying in the facility.

Turns out, being known as the campus' fuckboy who ghosts every girl on campus isn't a good thing when it comes to wanting to find a real relationship.

He comes to this realization after failing to receive a single text back to the many ones he sent out throughout the first half of his day. The ghoster gets ghosted. Oh how the turn tables.

Jay groans dramatically as he tosses his phone on the hard surface of the table, earning himself a harsh shush from the librarian filing books in the aisle beside him.

He sheepishly smiles back as an apology, directing his attention back to his open laptop screen, where his untouched calculus homework stares back at him––his mind preoccupied with the looming threat of Jake's bet. Not that it was threatening in any way, per say, but Jay just hates losing. And from the looks of things, it's safe to say that Jay won't be celebrating any victories anytime soon.

Jay thinks he should just change his identity and just transfer to some boarding school in Switzerland. Yes, that's a much better solution than admitting defeat to Jake.

Jay sighs as he lies his head on the table, figuring he might as well just write the check for Jake's textbooks now. He wonders how he got here in the first place. Not how he got into the bet, and definitely not how he's sitting in the middle of the library, having yet to start his calculus homework due at 11:59PM tonight (he should really start that).

But no, he wonders how he gained the reputation as the campus' playboy. To be fair, his friends (mainly Jake), are constantly reminding him of his notorious habits. But how did they come a habit in the first place?

The idea of being in a relationship is nice, sure, but the commitment that comes with it? The idea of being dependent on someone? It's scary, vulnerable, and one that Jay can't picture for himself.

Maybe some people just aren't meant to be paired. Maybe some people, like Jay, like being independent and are meant to stay that way.

But Jay also likes affection. He likes the fleeting, warm feeling he gets every time he finds himself under someone's sheets. He likes the short-lived comfort he receives from someone else's touch, even though he knows it's going to cease to exist the second he steps out of those bedroom's doors. He just likes affection, simple as that.

That and he's a 19 year old teenage boy with needs, what did you expect?

And so what if he likes the idea of affection minus commitment? Is that so bad? Apparently it is, to people like his friends and the entirety of his school's campus, at least.

At this rate, he might as well pay someone to date him.

Wait. Jay lifts his head off the table's surface in realization.

He might as well pay someone to date him.

There's no harm in that, is there?

He wouldn't have to endure through an endless amount of dates to find someone he clicks with, then continue going on dates with said clicked person, all while trying to develop an actual, serious relationship.

He'll win the bet, get his physics homework done for an entire semester, and some lucky girl out there will be making profit for the small price of hanging out with Jay Park for three months.

And lucky for him, Jay knows the perfect candidate for this scheme.

Simple as that.

Just as long as said perfect candidate says yes.

And as long as Jake and Sunghoon don't find out. Or else Jay might really have to move to Switzerland after all.

You love your friends, you do.

Hana and Heeseung have been there for you when others haven't––they were by your side when you knew no one entering high school, and they were still by your side when you were all graduating said high school. Needless to say, you're eternally grateful for friends like them.

But right now, in this moment––with you seated in the middle of the campus' library, trying to write your essay, as your two friends blabber on and on about the most recent gossip across from you––your two friends could be your villain origin story.

But again, you love your friends, you do. So you don't have the heart to tell them to leave. You've managed to naturally tune out most of the conversation, anyways, for this––your friends coming to hang out while you're trying to study––is no rare occurrence by any means.

"Oh yeah, Jay Park texted me last night."

You hate how your brain's filter suddenly turns off at Hana's words.

You hate how your ears catch the sudden mention of Jay Park's name.

You hate how the thought of Jay Park gets to even occupy a single brain cell of yours.

You hate how you even know who Jay Park is. Well, knew.

Past tense. Because up until eighth grade––when Jay decided to just suddenly pretend you didn't exist––he was attached to you like a koala to a eucalyptus tree.

And if you had asked past Y/N, ideally, Jay would've never left your side. Ideally, he would've never left you to fend for yourself when entering high school. Ideally, he would've stayed your best friend through out all four years of high school and ideally, you would've eventually told him how you really felt about him after growing up with him all your life. And maybe it would've lead to a completely different story. But for the sake of this fic, we don't live in an ideal world.

So yes, if it wasn't for his attendance at the very same university as you, you would've forgotten about the boy who brought you the painful memories of your childhood.

And since the universe clearly doesn't work in your favor, avoiding Jay Park's existence like he's the plague would have to suffice. And it works.

For the most part.

Until some people, bring him up uninvited into your conversation. Like now, for example.

"When was the last time you guys talked anyways?" Heeseung mindlessly asks as he reaches across the table to grab one of the many snacks you usually bring to your study sessions.

"Uh..like a few weeks ago. Give or take. Whenever you threw your house party. Can't say there was much talking involved however," she teasingly says with a giggle and wiggle of her brows.

Heeseung's rolling his eyes as you scoff and chuck a nearby crumpled piece of paper that was once one of your many essay drafts at her.

She bats it away right as it's about to hit her face as she laughs. "Doesn't matter anyways. He ghosted me the next morning, as he does with everyone else. Telling you this now," she extends a finger right at you, "stay away from Jay Park. That kid's just bad news."

You nod in response, mentally telling her she has nothing to worry about.

Been there, done that.

College. Ah yes, the very concept of spending four years of your life imprisoned on a campus where you'll be tearing your hair out from stress and spending all your life's savings just for a laminated sheet of paper with a golden stamp at the end of it all. We live in a society.

Because of said college, and all the weight that comes along with it, you had adapted a strict daily schedule in order to not completely lose your mind. It's a simple schedule really, one of a typical college student who's just trying to get by everyday with as little mental breakdowns as possible.

Wake up, get ready, go to class, go to the library to do your homework, walk all the way across campus to get back to your dorm, shower, then sleep. Oh and eat, of course. And maybe if time permits, be an actual social being and socialize.

It's gotten you this far into the college life without dropping out so, you conclude, you must be doing something right.

Sometimes, if you're feeling nice to yourself, you'll tweak the schedule a bit to fit in some exceptions. Maybe squeeze in a little trip to the bubble tea shop that's on the other side of campus, or maybe get dinner at that one dining hall that you don't usually go to because of the unncessarily long lines (but because they serve ice cream, you go anyways). It doesn't matter what the exception is, you still plan it out to fit into your schedule somehow. Everything is planned out.

Sometimes, however, the universe disagrees with your schedule, to your demise. Such as today, for example.

Because what you didn't expect for today was for a particular blonde-haired boy who you haven't spoken to in almost six years (but who's counting?) to approach your table in the library––a table you were sure no one could find you at, as it was quietly tucked away in the back corner, right next to the Astrophysics shelves. Because who browses the Astrophysics aisle for fun? Actually, maybe Jake Sim would. Anyways.

You definitely didn't anticipate a visit from the boy you've been actively avoiding, so you definitely didn't expect the first words coming out of his mouth when he sees you for the first time in six years to be:

"Fake date me."

You blink up at him.

Yeah, definitely not expected.

But you only let it phase you for a split second, until you feel a slight annoyance beginning to bubble up deep inside of you.

"Wow, hello to you too Jay! It's been what––half a decade? Yeah I've been pretty good, thanks for asking!" The sarcasm is practically dripping off your tongue.

You don't know what runs through Jay's mind, but apparently it isn't common sense––or the ability to read the room. Because next thing you know, he's sliding the chair across from you out from underneath the table and making himself at home.

And he's smiling right at you.

Curse him and his smile.

But no, you're not giving into it.

Not yet, at least.

"What do you want?" You deadpan at him when he makes no sign of making the next move.

"A girlfriend," he deadpans right back at you, as if he was casually telling you what he wanted for dinner. As if you two were close-knit friends that could approach one another without any proper greeting. As if you two had kept your friendship all these years. As if you two even had a role in each other's lives.

"Can't help you there," you scoff, deciding to not even question his lack of manners on top of his uninvited presence.

"Aren't you gonna ask me why?"

"Well gee, seeing that the first few words you decided to say to my face for the first time in forever were a demand, a demand to date you no less, then....no," your monotone voice says as you keep your eyes focused on your laptop screen, not daring to look at the boy across from you.

In the Introduction to Sociology course you took your freshmen year, you had learned of one important term: interactional vandalism. Textbook definition being: "ignoring signals of disinterest in a conversation, leading it to an offense."

Your definition being: "are you oblivious or just plan dumb, read the room!"

This was interactional vandalism, alright. Whether Jay's truly oblivious or just trying to annoy you until your head explodes (it's really the former, but you're convinced it's the latter), he takes your signals of disinterest and tosses it right out of his head to continue the conversation.

"I'm stuck in this stupid bet with Jake--do you remember him? He bet me that I couldn't date someone for more than three months and I figured having someone fake date me would be easier than actually dating someone, right? That's where you come into the equation," he proposes as he leans back in his chair, as if he had just finished a sales pitch to a prospective customer looking to buy a car.

You couldn't believe this. You're 98% sure this has got to be a prank. You're mentally preparing for a camera crew to jump out from in-between the library's aisles any moment now and scream into your ears that you've just been punk'd!

The remaining 2% of you, however, wouldn't put it past the two boys to get themselves in such a situation. The last memory you had of Jay and his friends were pretty much their childish selves back in middle school. And by looking at the current scene unfolding in front of you...it's needless to say they haven't changed much.

"Again, can't help you there. Ask one of the many girlfriends I thought you had." Ouch.

"But Y/N, you've known me all your life--"

"Up until you dropped me a few years ago but sure, let's call it that."

"--and convincing other people is gonna make me look--"

"--desperate? Yeah."

"C'mon, Y/N. What do you have to lose anyways?"

"Uh..my dignity? Pride? Self-respect? Sorry Jay, not happening," you turn your attention back to your unwritten essay in front of you, mentally checking out of this conversation. This would be a good time for that camera crew to jump out now.

"Look, no one else is gonna do it, Y/N." Jay has always been stubborn, you suppose. But so are you.

"Yeah, because you've managed to push every being of the opposite gender away from you. You gave yourself this reputation in the first place," you give it to him straight. It's not like you had a relationship with him to uphold anyways––Jay himself broke that friendship years ago.

Jay hates that you're right.

You're always right. He remembers how he used to always go to you for advice and clarity on the world's biggest problems. Granted, the world's biggest problems to him at the time equated to what he should dress up as for the fifth grade Halloween party, but still. A tough decision, for the mind of a ten-year-old.

You abruptly stop typing and begin putting your laptop and textbooks away as you huff in frustration. There's no point in trying to get your work done now. The longer you stay arguing with Jay, the bigger your headache gets. The longer he continues to occupy any part of your brain, the bigger your headache gets.

Getting up from your seat, packed and ready to slam your head into your pillow, you turn to the blonde one last time.

"Look Jay. We went on our separate ways years ago. If you weren't so notoriously known around campus and my friends would stop talking about you, I would've long forgotten you. I'm sorry you're in this situation, really. If I were you, I'd just tell Jake I can't do it. Or don't, I can't tell you what to do. Just don't get some innocent girl involved in whatever stunt of yours this is."

Jay stares at you, mouth agape, as you find your way out of the library and through the main doors. By the time he comes back to his senses, he realizes how he looks plain stupid––standing in the middle of the library, the look on his face screaming befuddlement, to say the least. Jay quickly makes his way out of the building, in hopes of convincing you one last time.

Jay catches sight of your figure already half-way down the walkway that connects the library to the main quad of your school's campus. Geez, you walk fast.

Not fast enough to outrun Jay's legs, however. If Jay running after you through the middle of campus in order to convince you to fake date him doesn't show how desperate he is to win this bet, I don't know what will.

"Wait, Y/N!"

You groan to yourself before turning to face the boy who can't seem to take a hint and leave you alone. You stare at his out-of-breath state as he heaves up and down from the slight jog he had to endure to get to where you are. If you're humored by him chasing after you, you do a good job of hiding it.

He meets your unimpressed state before stating his final proposition: "I'll pay you. Five hundred dollars."

You nearly stop breathing.

Now this catches your attention––after all, you're but a broke college student who's just trying to survive. And preferably not by feeding yourself instant ramen cups every night.

And so, naturally, you begin rethinking about the opportunity presented in front of you. You narrow your eyes at the boy as you weigh your options.

The first problem being, it's Jay Park––the bane of your very existence. You spent the last few years of your life pretending he didn't exist...for good reason. Not only did he do you dirty when you were merely a couple of 13-year-olds, but you just didn't want to be involved with someone like him. Someone known for his nature, someone who left your own current best friend ghosted. And not that Hana herself would care, for she has called herself the "female Jay Park", but you're sure this would be breaking some rule in the girl code handbook. Plus, if you agree to this, you'd be betraying 13-year-old Y/N, the one who decided to never speak to nor think of Jay Park again––which by now you've failed, but you get the gist.

Second problem being, three months is a long time. Three months is practically the rest of this semester, and did you really want to spend the rest of the semester tied down to the label of being Jay Park's girlfriend? There would have to be some negative connotations that came along with that title, right? No offense to Jay, but being his first girlfriend since, what, high school could make you come off as..naive, for lack of a better term. As if the only person you could settle for was Jay Park. As if you barely had any standards for yourself. Again, no offense to Jay.

Needless to say, if your school's debate club had to argue on why you shouldn't be doing this, you're sure the negating side could win with these two reasons alone.

But before you're rejecting the boy currently standing in front of you one last time, you find yourself mentally listing rebuttals.

First of all, you'd be getting paid. And again, you're merely but a college student living the stereotypical broke college student life––burdened by the costs of tuition, textbooks, and midnight McDonalds runs for when you're out of aforementioned instant ramen cups. Five hundred dollars could provide you with more than enough chicken McNuggets to last you the semester, and maybe some more to treat yourself to an online shopping spree.

Second of all, it's not like you were going to do anything better with your next three months anyways. It's safe to say you were too busy being a diligent student to actually look for anyone to date, per say. And if anything, having a fake boyfriend might actually be helpful in your case. Your mom would be off your ass about how you're still single, for one. And two, your friends (though it's really just Heeseung) would stop trying to hook you up on blind dates with guys that you would choose Jay Park over any day (and that really says something).

Third of all, it's Jay Park. As much as you despise the kid, you still know him. He's not a complete stranger to you, no matter how much you try to deny it. It could be worse, it could be a complete rando asking you to date him. At least you two have some sort of history, which would take care of the typical small talk and getting to know each other bit of this equation. And truth be told, you'd be lying to yourself if you said you weren't a tad bit satisfied by the fact that Jay chose you, of all people, to pull off this stunt with him. You don't know if it's the nostalgia of your childhood memories rushing back to you, but it reminds you of the endless schemes you two used to plan behind your parents' backs all the time. Granted, your childhood schemes––such as the both of you faking sickness so you could skip school together––don't even fall close to being in a fake relationship with one another, but still. It's the thought that counts.

All of those reasons plus, Jay isn't the worst to look at. He may have a spoiled reputation, but at least he has his looks going for him, you'll give him that (you're still secretly wondering when and how did he get his glow up, but don't tell him that).

And so by the guidelines of a college student's logic that states the pros outweigh the cons, you come to the overarching conclusion that maybe, this won't be so awful after all.

"Five hundred?" You ask, just for clarification. Jay's immediately nodding at your words. You continue to ponder on your thoughts as he stares at you hopefully.

The silent atmosphere of your campus heightens the tension so much, you swear you're in one of those overdramatic pausing scenes that occur too many times in k-dramas.

You sigh, then nod.

"Okay," you're internally praying that you won't regret this decision. "I'm in."

The next time you see Jay is at 12:17PM on a Friday afternoon, as you're exiting the doors of the lecture building that's home to your awfully long Capitalism in the Western World class.

You're going down the steps of the building, mentally deciding where and what you're going to treat yourself to for lunch––as the three hour lecture you had just attended drained all the life and energy out of you––when you hear the slight call of your name.

Turning to the source, you're met with a waving Jay, leaning against the passenger's side of his car, parked in front of the lecture hall building you were currently leaving.

Great.

You walk over to where he's casually waiting––he's unaware of all the stares he's attracted from fellow students leaving the same lecture as you. Can you blame them? It's not everyday you see a sleek, black BMW that probably cost more than your tuition pull up in front of your Friday afternoon lecture. It's not everyday you see Jay Park waiting for anyone outside of his said sleek, black BMW that probably cost more than your tuition.

"Hi," you simply let out as you plant yourself in front of him, not sure whether or not to question him why are you here? Surely, he wasn't waiting for you?

"Hi," he smiles down at you. There's a beat of silence. "I was waiting for you."

Bingo.

"Oh. What are you, my chauffeur?" You raise an eyebrow, unimpressed.

"Maybe. I am your boyfriend, after all," he says into the air, loud and clear, as if he wanted people to hear. Well that is the point, you suppose.

But still, all you want to do is smack the smirk right off his face.

Before you have time to put your next question into words, he answers it for you.

"I'm taking you out for lunch," he declares as if you have nothing else planned for the day. Well, to be fair, you didn't have anything else planned for the day. Except for your usual library run. But you figure the library could wait.

"Oh, like on a date?" You raise your eyebrows teasingly at him as you get into the car, Jay holding the door wide open for you. "Is Jay Park treating me to lunch as a date?"

Jay fights the scowl (or is that a smile?) growing on his face as he bends down to meet your eye level from inside the car. "Don't flatter yourself, princess. We've got fake lives to live."

"Call me princess one more time and you won't have a real life to live," you flash him a sarcastic smile and slam the door in his face.

Jay meets his own shocked reflection on the passenger's side window.

Cute.

"When you said you were taking me out to lunch, I expected like...I don't know...the diner on campus. Not whatever this is," you mutter to Jay as the two of you are brought to your table by a waitress at an upscale sushi restaurant, one that is undoubtedly out of your usual budget, but for sure an upgrade from your dining hall's pizza you were planning to have. You should've figured as much, the drive here was a little more than out of the way from campus, and who are you kidding, it's Jay Park you're eating with.

You stare down at your current outfit, which consisted of a hoodie you've owned since your junior year of high school and leggings that you threw on without second thought this morning––because you didn't exactly wake up and decide I'm going to go to a fancy sushi bar for lunch today!

"Why are we here anyways?" You ask him when you're both settled in your seats and the waitress walks away after listing the chef's specials for the day.

"Oh, they have killer dragon rolls here, you have to try it," Jay tells you nonchalantly as his eyes rake the menu in front of him, blocking your view of him.

How dense can one be? Your hand snatches his menu as you stare into his unamused eyes.

"No, Jay. I mean, why are we here? It's not like anyone's around to see us put on a show anyways."

"Oh. I figured," Jay's quick to grab the menu back from out of your hands as he continues, "that we should sit down and establish how exactly we're going to deliver this performance. After all, you're stuck with me for the next three months."

Again, smacking the smirk currently resting on his face would satisfy you beyond relief. Just once.

"If I drop out halfway through, do I still get $250?" You tease, leaning back.

"Ha ha. Funny. No," he narrows his eyes at you from across the table. "It's all or nothing."

You dramatically huff to make a show just for his annoyance.

"Worth a try. But sure, let's solidify this. What's the game plan?" You sit up in your seat, leaning over the table as if the two of you were hosting a secret meeting.

"It's simple really," Jay mirrors your actions, face leaning in close to where yours is hovering over the table. "Just pretend to be deeply in love with me for three months, and try not to actually be charmed by my cunning looks."

If someone gave you five dollars for every time you've already rolled your eyes at him today, you wouldn't even need to be in this deal for the five hundred dollars.

"Wow, smooth. Can I just remind you you're the one paying a girl to be in a fake relationship with you because you're just not competent enough to find an actual girlfriend?" You lean back, arms crossing over your figure.

Jay, unfazed, laughs, tongue briefly hitting the inside of his cheek. "Touché."

Your eyes go back to the menu in front of you as a silence falls over the table. Because you're not a loaded trust fund baby who comes to fancy five-star sushi restaurants for lunch on a daily, you don't recognize half of the entree names on the menu. You spot the dragon roll Jay suggested, but seeing that a basic California roll is less expensive, your natural broke-college-student-instincts figure the California roll shall do.

"Okay, in all seriousness," Jay begins as he puts his menu down. "It's simple really. We'll just go on weekly dates and post cute pictures of each other once in a while and a little after three months, I'll just say it didn't work out. I'll give you the five hundo and boom, we move on with our lives."

It's clear Jay's put some thought into this. Safe to say he's put more effort planning this out than the amount of work he's been putting into his classes. Someone's got their priorities straight.

You're impressed to say the least––you figured Jay would just be the kind to go with the flow and wait for the situation to unfold on its own and maybe blow up into flames. But seeing as he was just as serious about winning this bet as you were with making five hundred dollars, your doubts about this entire situation were slowly withering away.

Don't get it wrong, though, you still despise him. To an extent, at least.

"And don't worry about the dates. I'll pay on your behalf, as the loving, doting boyfriend I am," Jay finishes with a wide, cheesy smile you can't help but return a growing smile back at.

"Well then, as the loving, doting girlfriend I am, I shall gift you coffee, breakfast, all that fun couple stuff, whenever you please. Or maybe unannounced, if I'm feeling nice," you figure you should pitch in as much if he's paying for all your dates. And deep down, you find the idea kinda cute. But don't tell anyone that.

"Wow, look at us. We should become Dispatch's couple of the year already!" Jay exclaims, earning himself a small giggle from you, which pleases him to say the least. He thinks that maybe when this is all over, he'll hopefully make a good friend (well, for the second time) out of it.

And you're thinking that maybe the next three months won't be as bad as you initially had thought.

As the two of you delve deep into a debate about who would be the better significant other to each other, the waitress comes over to take your orders.

And because you're laughing and Jay's brightly smiling at you from across the table, you order the dragon roll.

The second time Jay takes you out––this time he gives you a heads up to get ready––it's at a, once again, high-class steakhouse.

The third time, you insist on the on-campus diner that's popular amongst the student population. Partially because you feel bad for the amount of money he's spent on you (even though he couldn't care less), but mostly because if you have to put on another fancy dress to just eat an overpriced meal that doesn't even fully satisfy your hunger, you might lose your mind.

And by this third time, Jake is aware of this newly blossomed relationship.

"Three dates! I didn't know you had it in you, going on three dates with the same girl!" Jake excitedly exclaims as he jumps into the empty spot on Jay's dorm bed and shoves his phone's screen into Jay's face.

The smaller screen displays Jay's most recent Instagram post: an image of you sitting behind your too-small-to-be-this-expensive-steak and smiling right into Jay's camera––a memory that brings a smile to his face:

~ ~ ~

"C'mon! We said Instagram posts would be a part of the deal! How else can we convince people we're dating?" A pout rests on Jay's face as he stares at you from across the table in the middle of the extravagantly decorated restaurant he picked out for your second date. You remember your eyes bulging out of their own sockets when you saw the "$$$$$" rating Yelp gave the place when you searched it up earlier.

"Okay, okay! One picture," you give in, already slightly annoyed that you were here instead of the comfort of your own bed, where you could be rewatching your favorite Netflix show for the third time. But because you made a deal and because you're desperate for money, you had to follow through––so here you were.

You flash an unconvincing smile to Jay's camera, which doesn't satisfy him, to say the least. "At least pretend you're somewhat enjoying this date," he frowns at you.

You sigh, until a thought crosses your mind and a smile grows on your face. "Only if you get me boba afterwards."

He narrows his eyes at you, but then meets your smile. "Sure, whatever you want. But only because I've been craving some mango milk tea lately."

"You're a fruit milk tea kind of guy? Sorry, but I might have to fake break-up with you," you tease as you take a sip of your overpriced drink to go with your overpriced meal.

Jay scoffs, feigning hurt by placing his hand over his heart. "Ouch. But before you break up with me, let me get this Instagram post in."

"Wow. Your priorities are so straight," you roll your eyes at him, eliciting a cheeky smile from him as he watches you through his held up phone screen.

"3,2,1."

"Hey, I wasn't ready! That was like mid-laugh!" You reach over the table to grab the phone, but not quick enough for him to put his phone back into his pants' pocket.

"Nope, nuh uh," he laughs as you quickly sit back down into your seat, not wanting to cause a scene in an establishment as proper as this one.

"It's fine. It's a good picture, you look cute," he casually lets out, unaware of the blush rising to the surface of your cheeks, thanks to the fact that you were suddenly interested in playing with the left-over food on your plate.

"Jay! Delete it, I'll let you take another one," you whine from your seat, imagining just how bad a candid picture of you could be.

"Ugh, fine. Ever so picky." He playfully rolls his eyes at you as he takes his phone out and opens the camera app as you prepare yourself.

"Okay, how's this?" Jay turns the phone screen to you after he takes a few snaps on his phone.

"I approve," you grin at him as he goes through the pictures himself, unaware of the smile growing on his face.

"Okay now delete the first one," you point your finger at him, narrowing your eyes at him.

"Okay, okay! Bossy," he laughs as he raises in hands in surrender.

When Jay gets home that night, he recovers the image from his Recently Deleted folder, telling himself it's for the sake of the memory.

Obviously.

~ ~ ~

"It's not that big of a deal," Jay mutters from his spot as his eyes go from the Instagram post to his Exile and Belonging in Modern Literature reading that's due tomorrow, bright yellow highlighter in hand. Typically, you'd find the reading buried deep at the bottom of his school backpack. But because Jay ran into you this morning and because he complained to you about the amount of work he's fallen behind on and because you had threatened him to do his work or else you're not going on another date––a fake date that is––with him, he figured he should at least get one reading done and annotated, despite his strong dislike for highlighters (they hurt his eyes, okay?)

What he doesn't know, however, is how your threat was completely full of bluff––but don't tell him that.

"It is so a big deal, for you at least!" Jake hops off the bed and lands on the wooden floors of Jay's dorm room so hard, Jay winces and sends a mental apology to the poor person who lives below him.

Jake suddenly gasps. "I have to meet her, Jay! As your best friend, it's practically mandatory that I meet her."

Jay opens his mouth to protest, but not before Jake interrupts him once again. "Oh! We can bring Sunghoon too, it'll be so fun! The best friends meet the girlfriend."

Jay can't think of anything worst. Jay imagines that bringing you to meet his best friends would just intimidate you out of dating him––fake dating him, that is. Obviously.

He stares at his friend in agony then back at the reading in front of him––the one Jake said he'd come over to help annotate, but the intention completely left Jake's head the second he heard about Jay's recent dating life.

"You don't have to meet her," Jay says pointedly. "Plus, you already know her."

Jake frowns at his friend's excuse. "Yeah, but that was in middle school! This is different."

Jay's hands shuffle through the reading's pages in front of him as he realizes there's no way the two of them are going to finish the assignment at this point. He supposes he'll have to save death by blindness from highlighters for another day and hope you still agree to go out with him.

Jake suddenly gasps in realization.

"Oh my gosh! Childhood best friends turned college sweethearts," Jake says so dreamily, he might as well plaster heart eyes on. Hopeless romantic, this one.

Before Jay can argue, the piercing sound of three loud knocks echo through the small room, followed with a:

"Jay, are you in? It's me!"

Jay stills at the sound of your sweet voice. He whips his head to Jake, who is also frozen in place.

But the widened-eye boy is quick to come to his senses––unfortunately quicker than Jay himself––because the next thing Jay knows, Jake's eyes are lighting up and he's running to the door, ignoring Jay's screaming whispers through this seething teeth that were somewhere along the lines of Jake––stop, I swear to god if you open that door I'm gonna fucking--

"Y/N!" Jake swings the door wide open, revealing an overly excited him and a frozen Jay half-way to the door, as if he was about to grab the very boy welcoming you in. It's as if we're living in a Sims game and the player clicked pause on this very moment.

Jake's eyes are wildly going back and forth between you and your supposed boyfriend, as if he was waiting for Jay to run over and smother you in hugs and kisses...or something couple-y like that. Jay wouldn't know.

"Uh––hi," you're awkwardly standing inside the room now, a relatively large paper brown bag resting in your palms as you look around for a surface to place it on. Jay makes his way to you without a second thought, quickly taking the bag out of your hold.

"You seemed stressed out earlier, so I figured I could bring you some food as a little pick me up. I didn't know what you liked, so I kinda just got a little of everything from the dining hall. Nothing fancy," you're rambling, but smiling so excitedly at him, Jay doesn't know what to say.

Instead, his mouth slightly drops open as he stares at you in awe, mostly because he's not used to being on the receiving end of such spontaneously generous actions––all while Jake's still excitedly looking back and forth between the two of you, as if he was expecting a marriage proposal to come next.

"Oh wow. Thank you. Really," Jay, still touched by your simple act of kindness, softly says as he places the bag on the limited amount of empty space on his desk surface––the rest of it is covered with his untouched textbooks and unfinished assignments. He wonders if you did this out of playing your role or just because you wanted to. He internally hopes it's the latter. "Seriously, you didn't have to do."

"Nah, don't worry. I wanted to," you shrug with such a genuine smile that Jay realizes he actually missed your smile.

Despite having seen you during your brief run-in this morning when you were fetching your morning coffee, Jay realizes he missed you. The two of you haven't been seeing each other recently because of your busy schedule and if Jay didn't realize it before, he's now sure he missed your company and presence around.

Weird.

"Well, you two have fun! Sunghoon needs me for something," Jake suddenly chirps from his place near the front door, halfway through with putting his shoes on already, breaking the comforting silence that fell between the two of you.

Jay frowns. "But you said you were free all da––"

"SUNGHOON IS CALLING BYE!" And before Jay can even register what's happening, Jake's out the door without another word.

"Er..sorry about him, he's...weird," Jay scratches the back of his neck as he returns to his spot on his bed, mentally setting a reminder to yell at Jake later for leaving the two of you alone. Jay doesn't know exactly why, but he's nervous at the fact that you're here in his room. It's not like you two are complete strangers––or whatever you guys were before––anymore. "Good job on your part, though. How'd you know Jake was here?"

"Oh uh, I didn't"," you let out an awkward laugh. "I just felt like doing it."

Heat rushes to Jay's cheeks and he's not sure 1) what this newfound feeling is and 2) how to respond, yet again.

Having expecting you to leave after dropping the food off, Jay's taken by surprise when you take your shoes off and come over to his bed to look at the pile of work he's spread out.

"Is this everything you have to do?" You question the stressed-out boy as you flip through the various assignments, readings, and essays he put off in the past week.

"More or less," he groans. This is no rare occurrence by any means––Jay being behind in his work––but this time, Jay realizes he may actually be in deep shit, considering he has no idea where to begin.

Right as Jay's expecting a scolding from you, he looks up to meet a look of sympathy on your face. "Well, I mean, I'm pretty much done with my day. I can try to help, I recognize some of these readings from last semester."

Jay thinks to himself that the universe has sent him an angel through the form of you.

"Really? Wow, you were't kidding when you said you'd be a good girlfriend," he sends you a surprised look.

"I'm just being nice, Jay. A concept I'm sure you're not familiar with," you remark back at him, causing his forming smile to grow into a laugh.

"I can too be nice! Need I remind you of who's paying you $500, covering all of our dates AND giving you rides to class everyday?" He remarks pointedly at you, a teasing look resting in his eyes as you're reminded of the first of many times he's come to pick you up before class:

~ ~ ~

You're late.

This never happens.

But then again, your life's been a series of unexpected occurrences lately. Such as the fact that you're currently known as Jay Park's girlfriend, for one.

You're scrambling out of bed once you take one look at your phone and realize shit, you're already late for class. Throwing on whatever articles of clothing your eyes land on first, you're already mentally groaning at the fact that you'll have to skip breakfast and run across your campus to get to said class.

Curse your professor for hosting her lecture at the furthest possible building away from your dorm. Curse the architect who decided to make your campus so large.

You're running down the steps outside of your dorm building's doors when you're abruptly stopped by a familiar sounding cough. You look up from trying to gather all your belongings together at once to meet the gaze of the source of the sound––Jay.

"Wow, you're a mess," he smirks as he gets up from the spot on his car he was leaning against to make his way over to you.

"Gee, thanks! Good morning to you too," you flash him a sarcastic smile before your default frown quickly makes it way back onto your face.

"Aren't you gonna ask me why I'm here?" He grins as he grabs hold of your backpack to sling it across his own back as the two of you walk towards his car.

"Why are you here, Jay?" you sigh, your sarcastic tone hard to miss.

"To give you a ride to class, of course!" He's beaming at you, as if he's a pre-pubescent teen who just won their first girlfriend a prize from the arcade's claw machine.

Oh. That explains the car, you figure. Deep down inside, you're relieved that you'll no longer be bursting through the lecture hall's doors as a sweaty mess––a result of having to run across campus to get to class.

Determined to not let your satisfaction completely show, you resort with a little smile directed towards Jay as he opens the passenger door for you.

The second your enter Jay's car, the strong scent of coffee hits you, and your attention is targeted at the two small cups of coffee sitting in the cupholders of the car.

"Breakfast?" Jay asks as he enters through the driver's side and reaches into the backseat to whip out a small pastry bag. A small, deliciously smelling, pastry bag.

Okay, well. You suppose you could drop the annoyed act now.

Your eyes widen with joy as you grab the bag from him and open it to reveal your favorite breakfast sandwich. He's been taking notes, you'll give him that point.

"Okay, you win. Thank you," you grace him with a soft smile before taking a bite into the glorious gift in your hands.

"Of course, I was just feeling nice," he grins at you as he starts his car. "But don't get used to it." His tone is serious, but his smile directed towards you says differently.

And the fact that he still showed up to drive you to class the next morning.

And the next.

~ ~ ~

"And need I remind you who has to date your dumb ass for the $500 in question?" Your eyes narrow at the boy who can't seem to get that damn smile off his face.

Jay sticks his tongue out at you, ending the conversation. Really Jay? What are you, five? Well, mentally––probably.

You're looking around his minuscule dorm room for a place to sit down, and Jay can't help but feel embarrassed now that you're here, in his messy single studio room that pretty much reflects how Jay treats every other responsibility of his oh so hard life: neglected.

"Uh...here, you can sit on my bed," Jay immediately offers as he moves to the side to make room for your presence––and it isn't much, considering the university only provided him a twin XL bed which is definitely not built for two grown college-aged kids.

If you told yourself a few weeks ago that you'd be shoulder to shoulder on a bed belonging to the guy you cringed at the very thought of, you wouldn't have believed yourself. You wouldn't have believed yourself if you said you were actually glad Jay let you stay instead of kicking you out after delivering the food. Huh.

Weird.

"You know, this kinda reminds me of when we were kids. I always carried us through those horrible multiplication tests in the fifth grade," you wink at him as you settle in the spot next to him, hands grabbing hold of the papers in his lap.

Jay let out a laugh, nudging your shoulder with his. "Hey! The twelve times table is hard, okay?"

You roll your eyes at him––a habit of yours he's noticed whenever the two of you are together, but more recently, he thinks it's been more out of fun than annoyance.

He wonders why.

When Jay had first brought up the idea of bringing you as his date to his father's company dinner, you had expected a fairly fancy five-star restaurant with a formal dress code––for you've become accustomed to Jay's lifestyle. Turns out, your expectations can continue to be exceeded. Because what you had expected to be a simple dinner with a few other business men and women turned out to be an entire party, hosted in a hotel whose interior resembled something close to a castle (Or what you assume a castle looks like, as you've never personally been into a castle yourself, but this hotel is close enough).

Your eyes sparkle at the extravagant columns and diamond chandeliers hanging high above you, and Jay smiles at the expression on your face; like a little girl being brought to the amusement park for the first time ever.

"Wow, this is...wow," you mutter as you drink in the scene in front of you: people dressed in formal attire likewise to yours and Jay's, mingling and drinking what you imagine to be beverages that cost more than your entire life's worth.

Jay laughs from behind you, "Yeah the company goes a little...extra when it comes to these company dinners."

You scoff as you look up at him. "Oh really, you don't say?" You look around and you're suddenly aware of the many people surrounding the two of you and the attention you've acquired ever since entering the building.

"Jay, people are staring." You shuffle closer to him, your voice lowering down to a whisper.

"Well, it's not everyday the son of the company's CEO brings his girlfriend with him, so...looks like we'll be the talk of the party tonight. Smiles on," he winks at you, and you just know he's loving the attention the two of you are receiving right now.

"Jay Park? Is that you?" You hear a warm voice call out from behind the two of you.

The two of you turn around to meet the owner of the voice, a middle-aged woman dressed in an evening gown that matches the pattern of high-end brands you've been recognizing ever since arriving.

"Mrs. Lee! It's so nice seeing you again," Jay cheerily addresses the woman as the two of you bow in greeting.

You internally giggle at the thought of your Jay being so picture-perfect in the eyes of his father's co-workers.

"This is Y/N," he continues, his hand finding its way to your back, protectively resting it there as you go to introduce yourself. "My girlfriend."

You swear you feel goosebumps rise from where he's lightly touching you, and more so when he introduces you as his girlfriend.

You tell yourself it's just your nerves. Yes, that's it, you're just nervous. I mean, you're in a room filled with people who could easily pay off all your college loans with just a snap of their fingers, who wouldn't be nervous? Right? Right.

"Y/N! It's a pleasure to finally meet you, I've heard so much about you!" Mrs. Lee excitedly exclaims as you turn to Jay with a slightly confused look plastered on your face. He mirrors your expression as he shrugs, moving to stand behind you completely, bringing his hands to rest lowly at your hips.

His hands feel like feathers on the thin fabric of your evening gown, so light, so delicate, as if he's unsure if he's crossing a line. It leaves you wanting more, wanting to naturally lean against him and his warmth. You quick to shake the thought of your head as Mrs. Lee chirps up again.

"Jay's father is always talking about how you've been keeping Jay pleasantly busy nowadays! Good thing too, about time this poor boy settle down for someone as beautiful as you," the woman rambles on as you feel a blush creep up on your cheeks at the thought of Jay talking about you to his dad. If only they knew.

"We should probably go find our seats, I think the dinner is beginning soon," Jay says from behind you, saving the two of you from having to listen to Mrs. Lee's story of how she's known Jay ever since he was five years old and seeing him grow into this mature, loving, young man is so amazing. Oh look! I have baby pictures.

Yeah, he was more so saving himself from embarrassment.

The two of you bid your goodbyes before Jay gently uses the hand on your back to maneuver you through the crowd of socializing business moguls.

"She's not wrong, you know," you feel Jay dip his head so he's speaking near your ear, his warm breath tickling your earlobe, as the two of you make your way through the large foyer room.

"Hm?" You hum in question, turning your head up just enough to be able to make eye contact with him as he responds to your look of confusion.

"You look beautiful tonight," he says, eye contact not breaking once. You freeze in your steps.

You stare back at him in silence. Oh.

Your mind is panicking as it flips through your mental book of responses, unsure of what to say back. But because your mind is cloudy from staring at a put-together Jay in a dark navy suit to match your dress (mixed with the nervous butterflies in your stomach––have they always been there?), the only sound that's able to leave your lips is the small stutter of a:

"Huh?"

Wow Y/N, you had one job. A simple "thank you" could've sufficed! And you went with "Huh"?

You felt like a fifth grader who just learned from a friend of a friend of a friend that their crush likes them back.

"U-um. Mrs. Lee. What she said about you. You look good, really," somehow your nervousness made its way over to Jay now––his eyes flickering from yours to anywhere, anything, else in the room––the awkward tension growing tenfold each second.

Goddamnit Y/N, this is just Jay you're talking to, get a grip.

You're knocked back into reality when he slightly nudges your back to continue making your way to the main ball room, where the dinner is being held.

"Is that a compliment from the Jay Park?" Your smirk can't be seen by Jay, since he's still trailing behind you, but he can definitely hear it through your tone.

"Don't make me take it back," he chuckles, his words felt against your neck, leaving behind a tingly sensation you're not sure why you're feeling. You're glad he's behind you, so he isn't able to see the blush creeping onto your face for the second time tonight.

Jay gives a small nod to the people behind the check-in desk stationed at the entrance as the two of you waltz right into a large ball room lined with countless circular dining tables. So much for a small business dinner.

As the two of you approach one of the tables placed at the front of the room, you notice a familiar figure seated next to the seats reserved for you and Jay.

"Y/N!" Jake exclaims as he gets up from his seat to greet the both of you. "I'm so glad you made it, Jay was so excited to bring you tonight. Deadass would not stop talking about it."

Jay lets out a noise that falls somewhere between a cough and a goose being strangled, his widened eyes warning his talkative friend to just shut up. He's silently cursing the company for always seating his and Jake's family at the same table for these events.

"Aw, is that so? He's lucky he's cute or else I wouldn't have agreed," you grin, winking at your assumed boyfriend sitting next to you.

"Hey, YOU were the one excited to come! I recall a certain someone's face lighting up when I suggested we go shopping for tonight," Jay immediately retorts.

"Only because you were buying," you giggle, causing Jake to laugh as well.

"Damn, Jay. Tough," Jake jokingly adds as you laugh alongside him. The scowl sitting on Jay's face expresses the opposite of what he's feeling right now: warmth filling him up from the sound of your laughter and the image of you getting along so well with his best friend.

"I'm gonna get us some drinks, you two have fun making fun of me," Jay narrows his eyes at the two of you as he gets up from his seat. You bid him off with a smile before turning back to Jake.

"No but really though, this boy would not stop talking about you coming tonight. Then again, he doesn't really ever stop talking about you," Jake nonchalantly says, not knowing how much he was exposing his friend to you right now.

You raise an eyebrow up in response, "Oh really?"

"Seriously! I don't know what you did to him, Y/N, but this Jay I've been seeing recently is new. He complains a lot less about life nowadays, especially on the days he sees you," he leans back in his chair as his comment brings a smile to your face. Little does he know.

You stretch your neck up to find the boy in question and spot him right as he's returning to your shared table, two drinks in hand. You lock eyes with him from across the room and without a second thought, you're giving him a genuine smile that he's immediately returning.

Your heart beats faster at the view.

You wonder why.

It's 3:07AM when you hear the first ding.

You're not 100% sure as of why you're awake at this hour on a Tuesday night––perhaps a combination of your restless thoughts and feelings not letting you sleep plus the typical stress that comes hand-in-hand with the life of a college student.

It's 3:09AM when you hear the second ding, and you brush it off, assuming it was just Heeseung spamming you with memes again––something he does often when he also can't sleep (you found this out the hard way).

It's still 3:09AM when you hear the third ding, and at 3:10AM , you finally reach over and decide to acknowledge the being who's bothering you at this godforsaken hour.

Jay [3:07AM]: Y/N

Jay [3:09AM]: hi

Jay [3:09AM]: r u awake rn

Y/N [3:10AM]: unfortunately so

Y/N [3:11AM]: why are you up

Jay [3:11AM]: come outside

Y/N [3:13AM: jay it's 3am

Jay [3:13AM]: ye and? don't tell me ur a college student with a curfew

Jay [3:14AM]: plus im alrdy waiting for u outside so u have no choice

Jay [3:15AM]: :)

You groan at your bright phone screen currently illuminating your dark dorm room.

You ponder the consequences you may have to suffer tomorrow if you stay up any later than you already have. But considering the fact that you're probably just going to stay awake lying in bed for god knows how long anyways, why not?

(And you would like to point out that this decision has nothing to do with the fact that you haven't seen Jay in a few days and that maybe a tiny, tiny, tiny, part of you may have missed his presence. Nothing.)

And since that logic is obviously valid (you really gotta work on justifying your life choices), you're suddenly grabbing a hoodie from your closet and hoping it'll be enough to keep you, who's merely in an old band t-shirt from high-school and pajama shorts, warm.

The breeze hits your skin the second you open the doors to your dorm's building, and you're met with the view of Jay's sleek, black BMW that probably costs more than your tuition. He waves at you from the driver's seat, motioning for you to get in.

"To what do I owe you the pleasure at this hour," you deadpan at him with a stone-cold voice as you enter through the passenger's side door, hoping your tone was enough to hide the fact that you're giddy at the fact he invited you out at 3AM in the morning. Like a high-school girl sneaking out of her house to meet up with her bad-boy boyfriend that her parents dislike.

The second you enter his car, you're instantly comforted by the warm air blasting through his vents and his playlist softly playing in the background. Jay's pajama pants and messy hair give you more than enough information to know that he probably just rolled out of his own bed as well. You don't know why, but your view: Jay in his oversized hoodie with his unkept hair in front of your dorm building at 3AM on a Tuesday night, gives you comfort in weird ways you can't explain even if you tried.

But it's obviously just your cloudy, 3AM mind not thinking straight. Obviously.

"When I can't sleep, I go on drives around campus. It helps clear my mind," he says, looking over at you to give you a quick smile before starting his car. "Plus, SnapMap said you were still awake, so...figured you'd wanna join."

"Oh so what, you're my stalker now? You're not driving to the woods to kill me now, are you?" You tease, an eyebrow brought up. Jay lets out a laugh from beside you as he begins to drive further into your campus.

"Guess you'll just have to wait and see," he throws you a wink before reverting his gaze back to the road, mindlessly driving to wherever the road decides to take him.

A comfortable silence falls in between the two of you as Jay continues to drive endless routes around your campus. You look over to the boy driving next to you and take in his features––you don't know what changed, but you no longer feel the same anger or annoyance bubbling within you when you're around him. You're not sure when this changed, but you figure it's just the effect of desensitization. After all, you've been spending so much time with him, you're bound to get used to it. Right?

"Why were you up?" Jay finally asks after a few minutes of just the two of you silently basking in each other's presences.

"Ah, you know. The usual. Endless thoughts running through my mind, stress from school, nothing new," you sign, giving him a soft smile followed with a shrug.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

You answer him with silence as you search your head for the answer.

"I don't know. This is kinda weird, isn't it?" You don't know why you get a sudden surge of confidence, but before you can stop yourself, you find yourself rambling on. "If you had told me a month ago that I'd be here driving around with you when it's nearly 4AM, I would've laughed in your face."

Jay doesn't know whether to laugh or scoff. "Is the idea of hanging out with me that unappealing to you?"

You give him a serious look back. "I mean, up until a month ago when you needed me for whatever this game is, you literally pretended I didn't exist."

Oh. Awkward.

You freeze at your own words, mentally screaming at yourself for letting the words leave your mouth. Why, why, why.

"Y/N..." Jay says after clearing his throat after a few seconds of silence.

"No it's fine, it was a joke," you awkwardly cough and direct your attention to anything else around you right now. The view of your campus' buildings zooming by. The clicking of Jay's blinker when he switches lanes. The quiet roaring of his car's engine. The nervous tapping of his fingers against the steering wheel.

The rest of the ride is excruciatingly silent as he exits the main road and into an empty parking lot of some administration building made out of glass that has too many floors for you to count.

You don't know why you feel your heart beating in your throat as Jay puts the car into park––why you feel uneasy. You slightly turn towards him in your seat, hoping to pick up any sign of well...anything from him.

You don't know why you feel a twinge of guilt––it's not like what you said was necessarily wrong. If you were being honest, you were slightly bothered by how the two of you seemed to silently agree not to mention your past all this time. You were always one to seek answers, to seek closure. You couldn't help but bring it up––Jay was your best friend during those years. For him to just wake up one day and pretend you were nothing to him hurt you, and you couldn't help but still wonder what in the world you did to initiate his actions.

"I'm sor–" You're interrupted with his timid voice, as if he was almost afraid to speak.

"I'm not good with people." He's nibbling on his bottom lip, fingers nervously picking at a spot on the steering wheel.

You're opening and closing your mouth, unsure how to respond. You're 100% positive you look like a fish right now. Good for you.

"I don't know why. Jake calls it commitment issues but in order to have commitment, people have to stay in my life. And people just...don't. They're all bound to leave at some point. So what's the point of putting in effort into relationships if they're just going to leave you at the end?"

You're stunned by his sudden confession, not having been prepared for such a heavy topic to arise between the two of you. Up until tonight, your interactions had always been light-hearted and easy––you guys got along well. You didn't know this is how he felt all along.

But you knew where he was coming from.

You knew what Jay had gone through as a child––his mother having left him and his dad when he was young. You remember when your parents had told you the news at the young age of 13, and you remember the pain and sorrow you felt for your then friend. All you wanted to do was go to him and comfort him, but he had already cut you out from his life by then.

"Or maybe I'm the problem. My dad barely acknowledges my existence because he thinks giving me an allowance is all the parenting I need, my friends probably only stick around because they feel bad for me, you wouldn't even be here if it weren't for the bet, and, fuck, I'm literally known as the campus' fuckboy," Jay continues, falling deeper and deeper into the hole he dug himself.

He hates this, he hates opening up and feeling vulnerable, so he doesn't know why he's doing it now. He doesn't know why he feels comfortable voicing out his fears and worries when he's around you. But he does know it's a new feeling––one he doesn't know how to deal with.

"Jay," you lace your voice with as much comfort as you can provide. None of this is his fault, you want to tell him. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything," he says with a hint of bitterness and you can't tell if it's directed towards you or the topic at hand.

You're completely turned in your seat now to face him––despite the fact that he refuses to meet your gaze, afraid that looking at you is gonna bring out the most vulnerable in him. "You can talk to me. Talking about it makes it a lot easier. I'll always be here for you, as a friend."

Jay doesn't know what it is or why, but something in him snaps at the sound of a certain word falling out of your lips. Friend. Friend.

Friends don't make his heart beat nervously whenever he's around them. Friends don't keep him up at 3AM in the morning, pondering about his feelings for them. Friends don't provide him with this new, warm comfort he's become accustomed to whenever he's around you.

Deep down, Jay knows you didn't mean to add fuel to the fire. But because he's strong-headed, stubborn, and hates how vulnerable he feels next to you, he unleashes his emotions without thinking about the destruction coming along.

"It's none of your business, Y/N. Forget I said anything. You're just a toy for this stupid game and when it's all over we can go back to our own lives and forget this ever happened."

His sudden words cut deep, but they hurt him more than you. The second the words tumble out of his mouth, he's hit with the feeling of instant regret washing over him, and the lump forming in his throat restricts him from finding the right words to take them back.

The silence that falls between the two of you this time is different. It's a cold silence. A loud silence.

Jay feels his walls coming back up around him––the ones you managed to get through––and all he wants to do is apologize but he's terrified. Terrified of seeing your reaction, terrified of losing you again. For the second time.

You tell yourself he doesn't mean it. You tell yourself that he's just enduring more pain that one should ever receive.

But you also tell yourself that this wouldn't be the first time Jay leaves you in the dust.

You tell yourself that you're foolish for ever believing a friendship, or more, could come out of this act at the end. That you're so naive for feeling those stupid, stupid butterflies you've started to notice in your stomach whenever you see, or even think of, him.

"Okay," you begin with a firm tone. You're hurt, but you refuse to show it. You won't let him hurt you for a second time. Not again.

"Just...find me when you need me. As your fake girlfriend or just...me. I'm still here for you," is the last thing you say before un-clicking your seatbelt and leaving his car, beginning your walk back to your dorm hall.

Jay is unsure about many things in life. He's unsure about what he wants to do in the future, he's unsure of where he's going to settle in life, heck, he's unsure about what to have for lunch tomorrow. But he's sure about one thing.

That he's wearing his heart on his sleeve right now, and it's all because of you.

That you've become this new lifeline and he has to choose between holding onto you or drowning.

When Jay wakes up the next morning, his first gut instinct is to get ready to pick you up for class. But today's different. Jay doesn't know where the two of you stand now, especially after last night.

Jay doesn't know how to deal with this combination of unknown emotions he's been feeling lately. They didn't come out of no where, by any means, he realizes. They've been slowly growing over the past month of seeing you so often––like a plant he's been watering overtime, not expecting it to bloom into a flower so suddenly––but he figured it was nothing more than just enjoying the company of a friend.

Until he realizes that the term friend just doesn't suite you anymore––not to him, at least. And that scares him. It scares him that you've made him genuinely smile more in this past month than he ever has in his 19 years of living. It scares him that when he's around you he can't comprehend his own thoughts, his feelings. It scares him that you make him vulnerable, that you've changed him. That you've managed to make the walls that he's spent so long building and polishing to crumble with a simple tap of your finger.

In a perfect world, Jay would have already told you all this––he would be unafraid of how you would react, unafraid of your rejection, unafraid of losing this growing relationship with you. But alas, we don't live in a perfect world. And so when Jay drives to class that day, he drives right past your dorm building.

"Where's Y/N?" is the first thing Jake questions when he enters Jay's car that morning, confused by your absence, having been used to you being in the front seat every morning when Jay goes to give Jake rides to class as well.

"I don't know," Jay mutters, unemotional eyes focused on the road in front of him, not interested in continuing a conversation that involves thinking about you.

Jake hesitates as curiosity gets the best of him. "Did you guys get into a fight or something?"

Jay's hands tighten around the steering wheel of his car. "Or something. Let's just leave it at that."

There are a few beats of silence before Jake speaks up again.

"Well, I guess this works out because I wanted to talk to you about something."

Jay continues to stare straight ahead of him, focusing on just trying to get by without mentally beating himself up at the simple thought of you.

The simple thought of you and your smile. Your witty remarks. Your stupid eye rolls. Your laughter. Your kindness. So much for not thinking about you.

"I'm calling it off," Jake's words catch Jay off guard.

"Huh? Calling what off?"

"The bet. I'm calling it off. I don't care about the textbook fees I'll have to pay next semester. Look, fight or not, you and Y/N are good for each other, everyone can see it. And I really don't want this to end up being one of those messed up teen TV shows where the girlfriend finds out the entire relationship was based off of a stupid game and then they break up and the boyfriend falls into eternal sadness and regret. And I don't wanna see you sad, dude. So yeah! Congrats," although he's admitting defeat, Jake's beaming widely, just content with the fact that his best friend has finally found happiness through the form of you. "You win."

But Jay feels like the opposite of a winner. Because even though his only intention coming into this was simply winning the bet, his life isn't as simple as it was a month ago. Because he discovered something much more valuable than some stupid textbook fees or five hundred dollars or getting his physics homework done for an entire semester.

Something he's scared he's already lost.

You.

⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺

The next time you see Jay is at the same time and place as when he first ever appeared to pick you up––at 12:17PM on a Friday afternoon, as you're exiting the doors of the lecture building home to your awfully long Capitalism in World History class. This time, however it's different.

Because this time, it's one month later, and Jay Park is no longer a forgotten side character in the story of your life. This time, you're frustrated because it's been three days since you've last heard from Jay. And because it's been three days since you've last heard from him, you can't focus on anything else, and because you can't focus on anything else, you're falling behind on every other aspect in your life. Jay's somehow managed to become the center of your life without even having to be present.

Well, up until now. Up until you go down the steps of your lecture hall's entrance and look up to be met with a figure leaning on a car you're far too familiar with. You freeze in your steps as you make eye contact with the boy you've been thinking about non-stop for the past month three days.

Your mind tells you to walk away, to just follow your flight instinct instead of fight, to just go back to your normal life. But here's the thing. Ever since Jay's made his way back to your life, it's been far from normal.

And if you're being honest, you had no interest in going back to your normal life. Normal's overrated anyways. You find your legs bringing yourself over to him, your heart leading the way.

"Hi," you simply say, planting yourself right in front of him.

"Hi."

"What are you doing here?" You already know the answer, but you want to hear him say it.

"Waiting for you," Jay doesn't hesitate in answering you. This time will be different, he tells himself.

"I can walk myself home, thanks," you state, but your actions tell differently, as you make no sign of moving from your spot in front of him.

Jay's mind contemplates telling you everything. About how he regrets that friendship-breaking decision he made that one fateful day in the eighth grade, about his true feelings, about how he first suspected these feelings when he was 11 years old and saw you in your fancy get-up for the sixth grade dance but put it off as a little crush, and about how the same feelings grew into something so, so much more in the present. But seeing that putting all these thoughts into words would involve more than one functioning brain cell (which is all he's convinced he has in the moment, for the view of you staring up at him, looking like that, has his brain short-circuiting), he settles with:

"He called it off. It's over. The bet."

"Oh."

Silence.

Okay, Jay. This is your chance. Say it.

"Is that it?" You lift an eyebrow, awaiting for more explanation. When it doesn't come, you slightly nod and start backing away. "I'll see you around then."

Is that it? Do the two of you just go back to your respective lives now? How can Jay do that, when he doesn't even recall what his life was like before you entered it––and especially when he has absolutely no interest in going back to that life?

Fuck it.

"Y/N!" He stands up straight, a newfound confidence taking over. This time will be different, he tells himself. Because now, he knows what he wants. For sure.

You turn towards him, to see him already making his way towards you, stopping in his steps when he finds himself close enough to you that he can't concentrate anymore.

"I'm sorry for ditching you in the eighth grade. I'm sorry for ignoring you since then. I'm sorry for dragging you into this stupid mess and for pushing you away and I'm sorry for calling you a toy. Because it's far from truth. I like you. A lot. And––and I'm scared. I'm scared of what this means for us, because I just keep messing things up and all I know is that I don't wanna wake up tomorrow and realize you're not in my life anymore and––"

"Woah, woah, Jay. Slow down," you look up at him, the corners of your lips threatening to curve up into a smile. "You're an idiot, you know."

Jay's never really confessed his feelings to anyone before, per say, so he doesn't really know what to expect. But he's watched enough Netflix rom-coms in this lifetime (which is still not that many) to know that hearing the words "you're an idiot" isn't what you're supposed to hear after pouring your heart and soul out. Surely not, right?

"I––I'm not sure how to respond to that," he quietly says, searching your eyes for a sign, for anything. You giggle at his sudden shyness as you grab both his arms and look at him right in the eyes.

"It's okay. I get it, if anything, I'm also scared. But you somehow got me wrapped around your stupid finger, and I hate it," you smirk at him, your hands slowly making their way up his arms to circle around his neck.

Jay's hands naturally fall at your waist as he lets out a breathe he didn't even know he was holding as he returns your smirk. "Well, I could say the same about you. And I also hate it, for your information."

"Hmm, is that so? I guess it cancels out then, right?" You smile at him as he's pulling you in so close, your head turns cloudy.

Jay grins at you, his eyes holding so much joy and endearment as they quickly flicker down to your lips before returning to your own eyes. "I guess this only means one thing then."

"Mm, and what's that?"

And before Jay can answer––and because your life's been anything but normal lately––you make the first move this time, moving your head up to close the small gap between the two of you.

His arms instinctively tighten around you as you capture his lips with your very own, and Jay swears he's about to lift off into space right now. He's on cloud nine, and he makes no plans to touch the ground ever again.

The kiss quickly becomes fervent, all the pent-up tension that the two of you had for one another finally finding its way out, all the words that were previously left unsaid finally expressing themselves. You don't even care if you're being judged by the conservative faculty members of your school right now, or by the looks of fellow students walking past the two of you.

You try your best to keep yourself from smiling as he continues to press his lips against yours, his hand moving to hold your chin, guiding your mouth with his.

Before you find yourself getting carried away, you step back to take a breath, resting your forehead against his chest as his hands rest against your back. He smiles at the sound of you giggling against him.

Jay takes a step back to take one look at you and realizes, in this moment, that change can be good. And he's willing to undergo this change. As long as it's with you.

⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺

The next morning, you bounce down the steps of your dorm building's entrance to meet the wide, bright smile of your ex-childhood-bestfriend-turned-fake-boyfriend-turned-real-boyfriend waiting for you in front of his car, small pastry bag in hand. You smile back at him.

Jay drives you to class that day.

And everyday after that.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ :

✰ let me know what you think! if u made it til the end, mwah :') <3

#finally finally finally #im so sorry this took so long #anyways #enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen fics #enhypen scenarios #enhypen oneshots #enhypen jay #jaypark #enhypen jay park #park jongseong #jay park #enhypen fluff #enhypen angst #enhypen x reader #enhypen jay fluff #enhypen jay angst #enhypen jay fic #jay park x reader #enhypen jay imagine #enhypen jay oneshot #jay fluff #jay park fluff #iland #iland jay park #iland jay #iland imagines #jay #kpop

[cas-rivaille]

Hi! Can I request a obey me hc where the MC is a leader of a very big mafia gang in the human world?

YES !??!?

(ahaha this def isn't the plot of one of my scripts where i run a mafia gang because i thought it would be cool and it's amazing you requested this)

tags: mentions of weapons, mild swearing, protective brothers and datables (i didn't include luke because it's a mafia gang thing and he's precious child and i want abt to put him in harms way)

a/n: i also didn't write the thoughts for dia, barb, simeon, or solomon because i honestly couldn't think of anything i'm sorry

MC as a Mafia leader in the human world

When you came to the Devildom, you were in another world, rendering everything in the human world useless. You spent so much time trying to adjust, that your life in the human world was almost forgotten.

Almost.

It wasn't long before Lord Diavolo announced you would be going on a trip to the human world. Suddenly you remembered everything you would go back to. If only you were aware of the chaos that would unfold. When you got to the human world, in your town you previously lived in, there was maybe a minute of peace before chaos erupted.

Once you stepped out of the alleyway that Diavolo teleported the group of you into, nearly half the people on the street turned and looked at you. Some of them ran, others pulled out their phones and made calls, and about four or five came rushing towards you asking where you'd been.

You recognized the men that had the gall to come up to you, they were some of the more high ranking commanders. However, your second in command was not among them. The brothers protectively stepped around you, not knowing who these people were. Clearly that was the wrong move.

In an instant the street was clear of citizens and there were members of your gang with their weapons drawn or their hands near their weapon. Diavolo stood behind you, glaring at the men in front. Simeon and Solomon were on edge. The atmosphere was tense. Barbatos was the first to speak.

"I'd advise you stand down," He spoke with a hum in his voice to the men in your gang.

"I could say the same to you," Said a voice emerging from the other side of the street. Slowly the person walked forward. It was your second in command.

"Who are you to be acting like this around our commander ? They disappeared four months ago and show up again like nothing ? Forgive us if we're a little curious," Your second spoke in a teasing manor, eyeing everyone carefully.

Lucifer -

- commander ?

- who ? mc a commander ? of what ?

- who are these people and where did they come from ?

- *protection mode activated*

- the only reason he's not in demon form and ready to attack is bc diavolo is here

- looks at all his brothers and makes sure they understand exactly what he means with one look

- this man is next to dia full on ready to fight

"Who are you calling com-"

You interrupt Lucifer.

"Everyone stand down, this is all just a bit misunderstanding," You say as quickly as possible to stop any conflict. Everyone directs their attention towards you.

"Commander who are these people ?" Your second asks.

"They're my friends, there's no need to be hostile. Everyone stand down," You say, looking around at all the people. They immediately lower their weapons, some of them even holster them. Your second on the other hand, known for standing up to you, doesn't lower their weapon.

"All due respect commander, but I won't stand down until I know they aren't a threat," You second looks you dead in the eye. You sigh. You then direct your attention to the boys surrounding you.

"Guys, back off a bit please. I'm fine. They aren't a threat," You say, tired.

The brothers ease up a bit, but you can still see the tension in their muscles. Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, and Solomon stood behind you protectively still, but also stepped back.

Lucifer steps forward and makes eye contact with you.

"What's going on MC ?" Lucifer asks.

"Okay so, gang this is Lucifer, Mammon, Levi, Satan, Beel, Asmo, Barbatos, Belphie, Solomon, Simeon, Barbatos, and Diavolo. Boys, this is my gang," You say while pointing to everyone and talking as fast as possible.

Mammon -

- he eased up on his defensive stance, but he never let your hand go

- as to be expected because you're HIS human

- anyways

- gang ??

- what do you mean gang ??

- like a club or should he be running

- very confused boi but just wants to protect you no matter what

Mammon squeezes your hand lightly. You look at him.

"What do you mean gang ?" He asks.

"I- uh.. well you see, it's exactly how it sounds," You respond.

The confusion on Mammon's face only grows.

"I am the leader of a gang. Here in the human world?" You say while shrugging your shoulders.

The boys all look at you like you've grown a second head.

"You run a gang ?" Mammon says after a moment of silence between all of them.

"Is that so surprising ?" Your second asks.

Leviathan -

- surprising ??

- surprising ??????

- the same mc that would stay up until two am playing animal crossing with him ?

- the same mc that bought him plushies of his favorite characters ?

- mc who would cosplay with him

- how could someone who makes sure he takes care of himself and basically babies him but on a friend level, be the commander of a gang ?

- lowkey thinks it's badass because he is the grand admiral of his own army

- gets distracted and starts fangirling over you

"How long have you been the commander of a gang?" Levi excitedly asks.

"Two years, before I went to the devildom that is," You respond, slightly bouncing off Levi's excitement.

"The what?" Your second asks, interrupting.

"The- oh. Wait a minute," You say and turn to Diavolo.

"Am I allowed to tell them ?" You half whisper to Dia.

"If you see fit. This situation is entirely new to me," Dia half whispers back. Barbatos leans in and joins the conversation.

"I sense utter loyalty to you, MC, if you trust them then I advise we should too," Barbatos speaks quietly.

You turn back to your gang.

"Okay so the reason I vanished for four months is because I went to 'hell' as an exchange student. Now I realize that may sound crazy, but these guys are all demons," You say while roughly gesturing to the brothers, Dia, and Barbatos, "He's an angel," You say and point to Simeon, "And he's a human, but immortal, I think. I don't really know Solomon is the textbook definition of an enigma," You say while waving at Solomon in gesture.

Your gang stares at you, bewildered. The person next to your second starts laughing hysterically. Your second glares at him but the laughter doesn't stop.

Levi, knowing exactly how it feels to be laughed at and not believed, starts talking.

"Need proof ?" He asks. In the blink of an eye he's in his demon form.

Your gang steps back, eyes wide, their hands near their weapons.

Satan -

- there's no way satan isn't dragging you back to his room after this to talk about your gang

- thinks it's attractive as hell, MC in a position of power ? that's the stuff

- takes a moment to register why levi is in his demon form, but feels his wrath and changes too

- steps closer to you

- he's still mad you never told him, but he won't take it out on you

- honestly just wants to know the truth

After Satan changes too, the rest of the brothers join in

Except Lucifer, who looks very displeased. Diavolo laughs at Lucifer's discontentment. Satan smirks as well, knowing he made Lucifer angry.

Your second is the first to speak.

"Okay what the fuck," Is the only thing said.

"MC did explain that we're demons, were you listening ?" Satan asks coyly.

"Right then. So it's actually true ?" Your second asks, looking at you.

"Yes, why would I lie ?" You say back.

There is a moment of silence. No one moves or says anything.

"So I take it this means we can't tell anyone ?" Your second asks.

"No, you cant. But I know you're all more than capable of keeping secrets," You laugh a little. The atmosphere lightens up. Your second laughs with you.

Asmo -

- your laugh is so adorable to him

- not the time thoughts

- he also thinks it's attractive you run a gang

- admires how you were able to change the atmosphere and how these people listen to you

- will totally tease you and call you commander

- joins in on lightening the mood

"Right then, how about we all go get a drink and discuss the events of the last four months over dinner ?" Asmo says.

"Is there even a restaurant big enough to hold all of us ?" Satan asks.

"Yeah, we can use the base," You say.

"Of course, it's still the same as you left it commander," Your second joins in.

"Then it's settled, let's go !" Asmo smiles.

Beel -

- definitely not opposed to having food

- is a little hurt you didn't tell him, but ultimately understands

- he wants to hear about your adventures

- wonders if he can spend more time with you to hear about said adventures

- does this mean you can fight ?

- if so can you train with him ?

"Does this mean we get human world food ?" Beel asks, looking at you.

"Yep !!" You respond.

Beel changes out of his demon form with a smile on his face.

"I'll also show you guys our base of operations and give you a tour. I can also show you where I used to live too !!" You say excitedly.

The other brothers change out of their demon forms.

Your second starts to walk and lead the way to the base. Everyone follows.

Belphie -

- to be honest he doesn't care you're a gang leader

- he just wants to sleep and spend time with you

- if those two things coincide then good for him

- he does think it's cool tho

"So, you're gonna tell us everything right ?" Belphie asks.

"Yes. I'll tell you guys about my life here and then I'll tell my gang about my life with you all," You say.

"Good, as long as things get cleared up," Belphie says and yawns.

----

SORRY IT GOT REALLY SHORT AT THE END IM REALLY TIRED BUT THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST I HOPE YOU LIKE IT !!

- cas :)

#mars on earth #obey me #obey me shall we date #mammon headcanons #obey me headcanons #leviathan headcanons #lucifer headcanons #asmo headcanons #beel headcanons #belphie headcanons #satan headcanons #omswd #obey me levi #obey me asmo #obey me satan #obey me beel #obey me belphie #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon

[saikos-pleb]

could you maybe do something like shenanigans (like going to the park at 3 am, stuff like that) with aren, kaidou, and nendou? you could do them separately or together and it can be romantic or platonic idc lol :)

3am

kuboyasu, kaidou, nendo

gender neutral

[notes] 1)this is gonna be so fucking fun to write. 2) imma do all the characters together but ur gonna be dating aren bc i love aren

——————————————

recently life has been extremely boring. like every single thing you’ve done has been boring. you’ve done the exact same thing every single day for months and it’s starting to get old as hell.

well you had an idea, but this idea included some of your best friends & your boyfriend.

grabbing your shoes, your phone and some money you sneak out of your window out of the house.

your first stop. your best friend rikis house. he lives literally 2 houses down so it wasn’t a far walk at all.

you climb onto a bush and knock on his bedroom window, quiet enough so his mom wouldn’t hear but loud enough that he could.

after a good minute of knocking he wakes up, confused as hell.

he walks over to the window and sees you staring at him.

“good morning sleepy head, we’re going somewhere get your shoes and come on” then you jump off of the bush

after a minute or two riki jumps down… ontop of you.

“FUCKING HELL GET OFF” “SORRY SORRY”

now to get shun & aren…

after you guys get shun & aren you guys walk to a nearby park.

“okay so why did you get us up at 3 am? i need my sleep to fight to dark reu-“ “shut up”

“anyways.. i wanted to take you guys to a new ramen shop i found but it’s only open late at night!” you say excitedly.

“RAMEN?? LETS GO NOW” and with that riki is dragging you in a random direction

“riki it’s the other way” you say laughing.

he stops in his tracks and puts his arm up pointing the other way

“this way now” he says marching that way.. still dragging you

after many.. many direction changes.. you guys finally get there

when you walk in an older lady is in the front, when she sees you guys a large smile overcomes her face

“hello! welcome to overnight ramen. please follow me to a table!” she says, now walking towards a table. when you guys sit down she hands all of you a menu.

“when you guys have your orders ready please ring the bell” pointing to a bell on the table.

riki automatically reaches for the bell but you beat him to it.

“no ringing the bell” you say sternly. he frowns and mutters a “fine”

after a few minutes you guys order your food, not before letting riki ring the bell to signal the lady.

while waiting for your food to be ready you guys talk about future plans, pasts events and other random shit

“and remember when we were all stranded on that island?” shun says making all of us laugh “yeah yeah i remember! remember when while we were there i fell into that deep ass pit of mud?” you say making everyone laugh harder

“yeah! i remember i had to help you get mud off of you for days after that. it was literally everywhere” aren says still laughing

you take your head off of his shoulder and cover his mouth with your hand making shushing noises.

after a few more minutes of this you guys finally get your food

you guys waste no time and stuff your faces.

“holy fucking shit this is the best ramen i’ve ever had” you moan out (bc of the food u dirty minded fuck)

“agreed” said everyone else simultaneously

after lots of moaning abt yalls food you guys finish.

you guys leave (paying the cashier of course) and now head to the park

you and riki race to the swings while aren & shun are following behind you guys.

when aren gets to the swings he starts pushing you

“WEEEE” you scream like a child

after some time you and riki get off the swings and all of you guys walk around the park

“thank you [name] for bringing us all out here, we should do it again sometime” says shun smiling at you

“of course, anytime”

#anime #the disasterous life of saiki k #aren x reader #nendo x reader #shun kaido #saiki k #saiki x reader #shun x reader #aren kuboyasu #nendou riki #the disaster of psi kusuo saiki #headcannon #saiki #nendo

[whenfatecollides]

Hi ! I've been getting into Dreamcatcher lately since everyone's been saying if you're a lesbian you're gonna like dreamcatcher, and i do ! i was just wondering from someone who obvs knows them better, do you think they're naturally so close to each other or it could be a bit more... fan service stuff bc I'm always worried about getting into groups who just queerbait all the time, idk how to say this and im not trying to attack DC but there's been a lot of talk abt it in kpop lately

I get where you’re coming from, but with time you’ll see that they’re genuinely close

dc have gone through a lot as a group (some of the members have been together for abt 8/9 years now), specially the ex-minx members (jiu, sua, siyeon, yoohyeon, dami) who had to overcome an unsuccessful debut and decide to stick together despite a rough start. there’s a lot in the member’s own story that makes you wonder if there really isn’t a force in the world out there who brought them together because so much happened, to some members more than others, that literally put them right on the path to become a dreamcatcher member. it just had to be the seven of them. 

for starters, yoohyeon auditioned for a few companies and mbk accepted her. she went the first day and quit that same day because of how she was treated by the staff. she said that from that experience she wanted to quit on the idea of becoming an idol, but she really loved to dance and sing. which led her to meet sua at a dance competition before they auditioned for hfe. sua had been training to become an idol since 2012 and hfe was the one company who accepted her (I can’t imagine sleeping on that much talent). this led them to debut together and even become roomates.

siyeon had a close songwriter friend who introduced her to the company, she auditioned and got in. similarly, jiu’s vocal teacher referred her to the company, she auditioned and got in as well. as for dami she had wanted to become an idol since elementary school, one day she participated in an open audition at her school and hfe called her for an audition.

with gahyeon, she actually went through a few companies before landing on hfe. she was an fnc traineed for a while, she got in both yg and sm, but left since they weren’t going to debut a group any time soon. similar to dami she participated in an open audition at her school and she got called for an audition.

and handong had some interest in kpop when she was in high school, but when she got the chance to go to korea for university her dad made her promise she wouldn’t try to become an idol, it was literally The condition for her to go to korea, she wasn’t meant to audition according to her parents will. but one of her uni teachers told her about hfe’s audition and she just went for it anyway asdkjhs (her relationship with her parents is fine now). it was just meant to be.

they’ve also mentioned quite a few times that they didn’t just instantly click with each other like that (some members having a cold impression of sua at first, siyeon admitting it took her quite some time to get close with handong, jiu saying she was skeptical about the adittion of handong and gahyeon but soon realised they made the group stronger), they worked on their relationship over time and they wanted to make things work with each other which itself is really important and shows the kind of loving and supportive enviroment they wanted to build for each other (I go a little bit more in depth about their overall story in this post). they’ve made sure to build a really great sense of teamwork with each other since the beginning, from the fact that they had about 2/3 months to prepare for dc’s debut (minx still performed on october 2016 and dc debuted january 2017) alone, they really had to make a conscious choice about it all. honestly one of the things that makes me sure that dc are close is that they don’t hide the negative feelings they sometimes have towards each other (which are normal), they've spoken a few times about silly things that they’ve argued about and have even mentioned that they don’t get the other members involved in the quarrels they’re having with another member to not create more drama than necessary. but you can really see that they love and take of each other in the little things too, not just the (sometimes) fanservice. and by this I mean things like, sua calling handong in the middle of her vlive to go get food for her, dami letting yoohyeon sleep in her bed and going to the living room because she didn’t want to wake her up, siyeon falling asleep on top of yoohyeon and yoohyeon not having the heart to wake her up as well, among many many many things.

but truly they’ve gone through a lot of hardships over the years, including having a member be away and unable to participate in comebacks and group schedules for a whole year (not because of health issues or anything like that, but because of the covid situation that made it impossible for her to fly back to korea), and they got out of that situation being even more appreciative of that member when it could’ve easily been something that could have made them turn on each other. it was a situation that brought them even closer and appreciative of one another. they really want to be on this path together.

as for the queerbaiting bit, I’ve made posts about this before and as I’ve said, it doesn’t matter whether or not it’s fanservice because at the end of the day they’re respectful and caring, and they’re only normalising same sex attraction. they never make you feel gross for that attraction either, they’ve never pulled a ‘no home though’ moment, they continuously sing songs directed at female lovers without changing the pronouns, continuously accept marriage proposals from their female fans, and even when a fan was dubious and said “but we’re two girls” jiu said that it didn’t matter and that love is love, and they’ve said many times that it’s okay for female fans to be nervous around them (aka attracted to them). 

and not that it’s anyone’s business but the members themselves have dropped many hints over the years, from not specifying the gender of their ideal type

“Dreamcatcher Handong, “even if they’re not good-looking, a warm-hearted person is my ideal type.” “My idea type, erm... a warm-hearted person. A person not necessarily need to be good-looking, if they’re warm-hearted they’re a good person” ©

-

Handong: For me, firstly, kind. It would be great if the person has a good personality and is tall.

Gahyeon: For me, because I’m still young I don’t have a definite ideal type. Just someone who smiles prettily and is fun. Ah, if the person has a good voice, it will be good. I like to talk on the phone. ©

-

Jiu: I wish to have someone I can chat non-stop with, and who is also knowledgable and has a good character. I’ve never really thought about an ideal date, but what’s most important is that the atmosphere has to be comfortable!

Yoohyeon: My ideal type is someone who’s like Peter Pan, someone fun-loving and positive! My ideal date location would be Paris, France. It’s a really romantic city! Really look forward to spending time there with the one I love.

Gahyeon: I like someone with a beautiful smile, and someone who can really take care of me.   ©

-

to lowkey admitting a same sex crush (she went to an all girls school as far as we know)

to being uh very straightforward about it

among other things 🐒 I’ve been into kpop for quite a lot of years now and I never experienced a group make this as comfortable as they do honestly. that’s why I say that it doesn’t matter if it is just fanservice, they’re still changing things for the better. but that being said, take your time getting to know them~ I think it’s better that you see it for yourself rather than have someone tell you really

#sorry this turned out super long 💀 #i have a lot to say when it comes to dc asdkjsadkjhsd #ask

[bthump]

hello, i just recently read berserk and i am absolutely blown away. im so glad to have found your blog, you have made a lot of in depth analyses on griffguts and honestly i have a lot of trouble comprehending griffith's and gut's relationship and feelings toward each other post-eclipse but i feel like you clarified a lot of things for me and im so grateful! i also wanna ask smth in regards to guts and casca but character limit soon so ill do it in another ask. just wanna say i appreciate you!

idk if its just me being ridiculously biased but i cant rly see the guts/casca ship? like i can tolerate it because i feel like it was written to move the plot in a certain direction/character development and not for the sake of romance but i always feel like guts was just... there. i mean when you compare the way he thinks abt griffith to casca in the golden age arc, he obviously reveres griffith so much, and casca is just... there. i really enjoyed their moments and thought they were cute but

with the sex scene i always just saw it as them coping. i did like it in how it explored guts's sexual trauma and it mostly seemed like guts and casca were friends doing it for the sake of coping rather than out of love and desire for each other. not to mention judeau who kept trying to push them together... but then post-eclipse, it seems like guts is so in love w/ her and thats why hes heartbroken, and not bc they were close friends and that he just cares for her as a fellow hawk member

idk maybe im missing something, i would love to be enlightened bc i rly scratch my head when i see people describing it as an amazing love story and a romantic ship when to me it comes off as less like trying to portray a passionate love b/w two characters and more as, this is necessary for guts's character development and motivation in regards to griffith. esp when i feel like guts and griffith's feelings for each other are just so intense, even if its more "subtle" than an outright sex scene

thank you so much! I'm v glad my blog helped clarify some stuff about the story for you, I appreciate you letting me know <3

well if you want to be enlightened about how Guts and Casca is actually super romantic deep down you've come to the wrong place lol because you've mostly described how I feel about their relationship.

I completely agree that during the Golden Age their relationship felt very much like two friends hooking up. The fact that Judeau had to push them into it seems really telling to me, there are strong indications that they're both rebounding from Griffith, as soon as Griffith re-enters the picture they get weird and jealous, after they have sex Guts calls his sword all there is for him and invites Casca along in as non-committal a way as you can, Guts decides independent of Casca to stay with Griffith instead of leaving with her just as Casca decides the same, I also want to shoehorn in a link to this thing I wrote lol, etc.

And I actually don't see any difference after the Eclipse tbh. I actually wonder which translation you read, because I know at least one of the scanlations out there has Guts talk about how he loves her a few times post-Eclipse while the Dark Horse translation never does.

I think Guts' relationship with Casca after the Eclipse is largely based on obligation. It's actually kind of striking to me how unromantic it is.

Like during the Conviction arc he doesn't stop everything he's doing and decide to save Casca once he realizes she's in danger. He goes to check on her, finds her missing, then sits down in Godo's cave and debates with himself for two chapters before deciding to try to find her. And he only comes to this decision after comparing leaving Casca behind to leaving Griffith behind in the snow, and thinking of her as the last remnant of the Hawks ("this last feeble flame.")

I think to Guts she represents everything he threw away when he left the Hawks, and saving her is essentially a chance to better himself and try to make up for it. I don't think that's Guts' only motivation for saving her and then taking her to Elfhelm, I actually have a post here where I wrote a list of all the reasons I think Guts has if you're interested, but I do think it's the most important one.

And man after he saves her and returns her to Godo's, right before the Hill of Swords?

To me this excellent page - Casca mirroring a child, Griffith looking Like That, Guts' attention torn from Casca because Griffith looks Like That - just screams that Casca is Guts' responsibility while Griffith is Guts' desire. Whether that's revenge or latent attraction or probably both l b r, Griffith is the dude Guts wants to be pursuing and Casca is the person Guts is stuck with.

Even when he sexually assaults her it's all about Griffith lol, it's not even framed as, say, Guts being so attracted to her he can't help it or anything like that, it's framed as "do this and you'll get closer and closer to Griffith."

After learning her mind can be restored he potentially starts thinking about her more romantically, like there's subtext there when he watches Casca with Moonlight Boy on the beach, eg. And even that reads to me as Guts trying to distract himself from his "obsession" with Griffith.

I think Guts wanted to get back together with Casca after getting her sanity back for the same reason he had sex with her the first time - as a distraction from confusing and painful feelings. In the most recent chapters we saw that it didn’t work out and now he’s swinging his sword again, frustrated, wondering what the hell he’s supposed to do now, which in itself shows that he wasn’t trying to selflessly help Casca because he loves her, he mainly just needed something else to focus on while trying to kick his Griffith addiction.

SO yeah, basically ia that their relationship doesn’t seem romantic pre-Eclipse, but I also don’t think there’s much of a romantic element post-Eclipse either. I felt like it was fairly consistent throughout.

#ask #a #b #ship: gtsca #theme: revenge #theme: repression #character: guts

[wokestraightpuffy]

Hallo, i hope you are alright and that my ask aren’t annoying but I wanted to ask do you have any c!puffy headcannons? —🤡

YOURE NOT ANNOYING AT ALL !!! NEVER THINK THAT ILU VERY MUCH. MUAH /p

as for c!puffy headcanons, i am not the best person to ever organize their thoughts properly but ill try my best >:’D

ahaha. this got. super complex and way too long and more of like an introspective study to puffy now instead of harmless fun headcanons so, uh. under read more <3 (also reminder this is all /rp and /dsmp)

* i like to think that she has a hero complex, but its a bit different since she never really sees herself as an ‘important’ part of the story, not the main character but a support one, hence ‘im fine with being the side character’ or how she’s said she doesnt care what happens to her and would gladly sacrifice(?) herself if there werent other people she had to protect. girl u need therapy urself <3

* though very open with how she feels and never afraid to say when someone/something is upsetting her, ‘opening up’ is still a whole mountain climb for her, apparently. like, she’d rant about the egg, get mad at the eggpire, let off some steam by committing arson or exploding stuff, she’ll rarely ever talk about how much the stuff that upset her actually HURT her. does that make sense? LIKE, she’ll lash out, she’ll get mad, she’ll take NO SHIT thrown at her face, but to show the kinda vulnerability of dealing with that? to cry about it talk about those feelings with someone? I think she’d rather eat her own foot lol

* adding onto the thing above, she doesnt necessarily actually realize this about herself. less of actively doing it and rather growing... used to the ‘cycle of violence’ in the smp as they call it. and the fact that rarely have people really asked, that no one’s actually available for that, w her losing her closest friends, bad and ant, sam being busy w the warden stuff... and niki. yeah. there’s foolish, but i doubt she’d ever see venting to someone she considers her son appealing

* also. puffy is just sometimes... really bad at conveying sadness. i think she’s a rare crier. id go as far to say that shes even more emotionally constipated than dream, lol (but maybe not while the guy’s in his prison arc) and that she’d be the type of person to tell you its okay to cry but beat herself up over something if she let a tear slip in a heated moment

* speaking of sadness. she’ll only ever actually Be Sad if she’s alone or with someone she doesnt necessarily care the opinions of. yknow how she mourned for tommy and blamed herself? those dialogue bits? yeah, those are only times shed actually be vulnerable

* puffy’s go to response to the egg and how its fucked up her relationship w her friends is pure fury. but, going off of her line about ‘failing bad and ant’ i like to think that she probably hates herself the most about it. THAT IS A STRONG WORD LOL BUT YEAH. she yells and curses and gets mad, but sometimes i wonder if the words she had spat before were more directed to herself

* THIS GIRL HAS SELF-IDENTITY PROBLEMS. CAN WE GET A HELL YEAH FOR THAT CHAT? outside of having no goddamn clue about where she came from, how she got here and who she even is, scrounging up a role for herself in a server with a war on the background and traumatized kids got her resignedly coerced into thinking that she is only a Parent. Only good enough when she’s actually doing something Useful for people. SO. when she finds that ship? of having a crew and having a curse? OF FINDING OUT SHE MIGHT HAVE/ HAVE HAD A MOM THATS WAITING FOR HER?  the sense of control she has on herself is absolutely crushed. shattered, and she’s left to pick up the pieces w no one to talk abt it with <3

* adding onto the above, it’s why the line ‘I’m supposed to be mama puffy. me.’ hurts me so much! so yes! please cry with me :D

* also to add more on the fact that she thinks she’s only worth something when she’s being useful, puffy literally contemplated leaving the server, thinking that it wouldnt matter leaving since no one really needs her anyway, since she’s failed so many people. bad and ant, tommy, dream. shes said how foolish can take care of himself on how tubbo and ranboo have each other, how she and niki have drifted so far away from each that it might as well be a break up.

HOOOOOOOOOO OBOY . anon youve really given me the perfect chance to ramble huh? sorry for the rather incomprehensible brainrot, here’s more lighthearted headcanons about puffy asdhfkd

* she cannot stand still sometimes. she always has to be doing something extra, walking when the prime path is right there? shed rather go through tedious little holes or hop and balance onto fences to get where shes going. she’ll mindlessly fix up the path when there are holes or mismatched wood, and one time went on a long, long LONG journey cleaning up the paths tommy purposely DESTROYED near lmanburg and even added cobblestone sidings which werent there before

* puffys a bit of a sentimental person. writing in her log to clear her thoughts sometimes and cared enough to try and preserve lmanburg with the glass sheet and trying to find possible surviving artifacts of history to respect it, even though she’s never been a part of it. its also why, when doomsday happened and lmanburg got permanently poofed, she began to appreciate the buildings that are still standing and began taking more pics 

* she’s not used to being... what do you call it, um, cared for? she’d deflect compliments sometimes, when shes having a particular bad day, like, she’d laugh nervously and change the subject, sometimes she’d outright deny it, most days she’d jokingly say ‘staphhh it’ and add a very genuine thanks. my point being is, do something for puffy that is mildly nice and she’d keep that moment in her heart forever. 

* also funny story regarding the above. u know how karl is notorious for stealing her materials? and how puffy was contemplating doing something in retaliation for them? karl says hi for once when she joins the server and she goes ‘alright fine youre safe for saying hi’ LOL THIS WAS PROBABLY A BIT META WISE but something about this implying that the bare minimum or LESS is enough to make puffy forgive someone is very sad and funny at the same time for me. girl really said ‘oh you said hi to me? thats nice all the crimes youve ever done towards me is now forgiven. <3’ (this is a bit of an exaggeration on my part, ofc, i just think its funny LMAO) 

* ironically, despite being the ‘captain’, whenever riding a boat with someone, she prefers being on the backseat and letting them drive. ig shes just there for the ride i suppose, her and her uber drivers :3

 * she either has a rather unhealthy obsession with baked potatoes or she just doesnt wanna waste eret’s massive potato farm

* idc what cc!puffy says is c!puffy will always and forever be 5′2″ in my HEART. u are the shortest member, u cannot change this <3

* shes really fond of animals/ neutral mobs. she often baby talks to them and they help boost her mood a lot when shes having a bad day :D

* up to this day, the little secret rooms she’s created around the server have all been yet to be discovered, unless the one under bad’s house has been found. she rarely ever really keeps tabs on them, and more often than not they are just collecting dust. she still visits sometimes and cleans them up ofc

* she still genuinely thinks dream can change. cc!puffy’s line about that, ‘i’m his last hope.’ really makes me think about this a lot. 

* ive seen people talk abt it a bit but the headcanon that puffy acts as the server mom to fill the ‘void’ of her missing her mom makes me cry at night /hj

* she really likes her rainbow onesie! i headcanon that eret gave her that along w the sunglasses, but she started wearing that less when she found her old captains uniform. shes never really said why, though, and nobody ever really bothered to ask

* god bless this woman but sometimes the server members get on her nerves sometimes so she goes out of her way to traverse along far away from the main community to maybe commit a few crimes. let off some steam. these take a few days but she always returns

i probably have a lot more hcs but i cant remember them >_> THIS IS A LOT ANYWAY. HOPE U ENJOYED MY BRAIN VOMIT. IF U READ THIS FAR ILU THANK U

if there are mistakes it is bc i am crying and cannot see my keyboard and also i am sleep deprived /hj

#captain puffy #tea speaks #god this is so long the brainrot is concerning ANYWAY #clownon

[tsukiyamavalentine]

Expanding on My Last Post:

Hi, I’m back. It’s morning now, hi. This was meant to be brief but Ghosty doesn’t do brief so here we are.

Link to Part 1,

This is a less tired post so enjoy!

I’ve seen a few people say that Shuu’s humiliation started mainly in Re, and that in TG:1 Tsukiyama was only mocked in TG:1 bc he was rich and out of touch.

Yes, we’ll talk more abt that later; but u missed the point of my post. It’s not just that he was rich and out of touch, but again, in TG:1 he is still the only slightly ‘safe’ queer character.

He is still bullied by other characters, and Ishida turns him into a laughing stock in the extra scenes. That’s not mentioning the things Ishida has him do in deleted or extra scenes.

My point is: Shuu is the only queer character to get a redemption. Even when Ishida tried to make him straight, he was treated as different from the others. He is a joke all the time, even when he is mentally ill (more on that later). He literally cannot catch a break from anyone; the other characters, the author, and to an extent, us.

So.

I wanna get this next thing over and done with, so let’s get through it.

We Need To Talk About The Scat:

I want to point out the scat stuff here, bc I feel it’s relevant.

Ishida says that in his earliest work involving Shuu and Hori, he would have Shuu do some weird stuff involving dog scat. Obviously we don’t know what Ishida wrote exactly, but I find it really strange that of all the things to mention about his past work; Ishida chose that.

He says he’s embarrassed by the work, yes, but what we know abt it is that it involves Tsukiyama, Hori, and he chooses to mention dog scat.

This is not only weird, but foul. It’s awful. And I have little doubt that the reason Ishida brought up this in particular is bc it’s disgusting and foul, and most importantly; humiliating.

But Ishida seems to love doing that.

Isn’t it funny? How Tsukiyama is seen as degenerative by fans for fetishising and lusting after a man, but Ishida seeming to get off on humiliating a queer man (often using a straight or female character to do so) is unquestioned.

It is exhausting to have to type this, but y’all need to understand.

Now I move onto my next points, which will be slightly more fandom-orientated.

Shuu Tsukiyama and Child Predators/Gender-Swapping The Role Of The Degenerate:

Shuu is commonly compared to similar queer-coded characters, such as Hisoka and Adam. These two characters are child predators.

Tsukiyama is never shown to have predatory feelings towards children. He builds a relationship with Hinami, which would be strange in other circumstances, but this was at a point where Hinami was living with Banjou and Kaneki. She had almost no one to be with.

His malicious intentions were Hinami were not sexual. They were directed at Kaneki. We don’t know exactly what his intentions were, only that Touka and Nishiki reacted very strongly to him being around Himami.

Touka and Nishiki have their own reasons for being concerned, but here, their concerns are slightly more severe, bc Hinami is a child. Even if what Touka and Nishiki are worried about is justified, there is an insinuation that something predatory is going on.

This creates the idea that Shuu would do something predatory to a child. Even though this is the only time we see him around one, and we know that his intentions are directed at Kaneki.

This idea, this portrayal, is problematic in multiple ways, and sadly, it’s not an uncommon portrayal of queer men.

For one, this idea leans heavily into the ‘Men Can’t Be Around Children That Aren’t Their Own’ point. We see this a lot in real life. A man who takes care of or is friendly with a child that isn’t his own is more critiqued than a woman.

This is a feminist issue, as it leans into the belief that women are inherently motherly and men aren’t as capable. It suggests that men outside of a family group are inherently predatory and not to be trusted. It also leans into that, ‘all men are pigs/all men want is sex’ thing.

The fandom’s idea of Shuu being a child predator also leans into the ‘Queer-People-Are-Predators’ idea.

Again, I do not want to accuse the fandom of anything, but I hate the child predator thing most for a number of reasons.

Even though the fandom is basically dead, I still see posts in the Tsukiyama tag comparing him to predatory characters or calling him a predator.

Now, here I’d like to move to my next point in this section, and ask the question: how do these facts and ideas change if Tsukiyama was a woman?

If Tsukiyama was a woman, I can almost guarantee that his relationship with Hinami would be seen as less predatory and uncomfortable, and would be seen as more motherly and cute.

This, again, leans into the sexist idea that women are inherently carers and men are takers. Meaning that the prospect of Tsukiyama being a child predator is not only queerphobic, but rooted in sexism.

If switching Tsukiyama’s gender, we also have to ask;

If Tsukiyama was a woman, would his relationship with Kaneki be predatory and creepy, or would it be admired and fetishised?

Think of the obsessive girl stereotype in manga and anime. The obsessive girl is seldom seen as degenerative. She’s mentally ill at worst, maybe people use the word ‘psycho’. But she is still desired, and respected.

Tsukiyama is the male equivalent of this, and think abt how differently he is seen compared to this hypothetical female character.

Then, we also have to look at how opinions change if both Kaneki and Tsukiyama were both women.

To put it simply; the relationship would be fetishised to hell, especially by the author and male audience.

The reasoning for both of the above is again, queerphobic and sexist, because we do not take women as seriously, and straight men (a lot of TG’s audience) fo not find sexual pleasure in gay relationships.

I’d like to talk more on this subject, but frankly it deserves a post of its own.

Speaking of Tsukiyama’s obsessive nature, I’d like to move to my next point:

The Ignored Mental Illnesses of Shuu Tsukiyama.

I relate a lot to Tsukiyama. I’ve had an eating disorder, I’ve attempted suicide, I’m autistic, and most importantly; I have spent a large portion of my life in extreme loneliness.

People often forget or ignore the mental issues Tsukiyama is shown to have. And that is: a lot.

I did used to think maybe he was slightly autistic, but looking at what we know abt his life as a whole, I think he’s just very mentally ill and possibly underdeveloped (as a person).

Growing up, it’s likely that Tsukiyama rarely saw the people he loved. He had servants, but what is a child to do with servants? People who are paid to be there.

His childhood was spent around people who were paid to like him. Imagine how fucking lonely and sad you’d feel when you figured that out.

He went to school, but from what we know, his friendships were pretty empty. Again, lots of people probably thought higher of his wallet than him. Even Chie Hori, who is one of his only friends, humiliates him, mocks him, and most importantly, I refer to my earlier points abt scat; Chie Hori is the one who Tsukiyama did that sort of thing around. She has a camera, and I think there are pictures in the calender where she takes a photo of Tsukiyama stepping in scat. She has a photo of it. Will the photo be deleted at Tsukiyama’s request, or will it be kept and shown around by her to further humiliate him?

(NOTE: I couldn’t find the photo from the calender but I remember it rly bad. I’ll look around more and update the post if I find it, but please take this with salt bc I do not have the photo. My point still stands, I don’t think Hori would delete an embarrassing photo of him. She’d share it for sure).

As much as we like to joke abt who Shuu might’ve been as a child, I see a lot of ‘weird-gay-kid lol’ in the fandom and not ‘mentally-ill-child’.

I understand that lots of people probably think of this fondly bc of their own memories of being a gay kid and having little idea what that means. We all go through that embarrassing phase. That’s not what I’m getting at, I’m looking at the more slightly mean-spirited idea of this.

With Shuu’s childhood in mind, it’s easy to see why he gets so obsessive.

Also, to refer to my first point abt what was mentioned in the comments: Tsukiyama is funny is TG:1 being out of touch, and seems to think he’s terribly in touch.

Given what I’ve mentioned abt his childhood, and his life so far; this point is even more tragic.

As a character, Tsukiyama seems desperate to want to fit in. He wants and needs friends, he has a deep desire for companionship, but he has absolutely no idea how to get it.

I relate to this heavily, almost entirely, and it absolutely sucks. You guys, I was homeschooled after my suicide attempt. I haven’t been outside on my own since I was thirteen. I am seventeen as of writing. I am at a point where I deeply desire a human connection, and it frustrates me incredibly that I do not have the social ability to communicate properly and gain companionship.

So I understand where Tsukiyama is coming from, and how he’s feeling.

How Tsukiyama seems to deal with this crippling loneliness is interesting, and I feel can be summed up by this one song lyric:

‘I feel like I’m the worst, so I always act like I’m the best,’

Tsukiyama is humiliated and used by those around him, so in his mind; if he can’t make a friend as he is now, he will have to convince them he is better than he is.

Then, he thinks, then they will desire MY friendship.

This is…sad.

Bc it doesn’t work. They only humiliate him more. He is ‘out of touch’ and it’s funny. It’s funny, that he is desperately reaching out for human connection.

I don’t think it’s funny at all, but some of this is speculatory, so take it with salt.

The Ending Of TG and How It Relates To His Tragedy:

So, Tsukiyama has never had a true friend. His actual friends humiliate him. The people around him humiliate him. The man he loves and so desperately clings onto, mocks and treats him like an object.

This is no different by the end of the story, even after he has broken down in front of everyone. His breakdown is mocked and belittled (by Nishiki) and all the other characters act like they thought of it first (kindly, fuck off).

By the end of the story, these other characters have very lifescript happy endings. Shuu doesn’t.

Shuu is, as far as we know, single and childless. Which according to the endings of the straight character, is bad (no wahmen in the kitchen and no bebe).

Again, I reiterate; Shuu is the only queer character to be considered good by the end of the story. And he is one of the only main characters to end up single and childless.

There’s no reason why he can’t have a happy life like that. Hell, that’s the life I want! But in this ending, he is still surrounded by the people who see him as a wallet, or who just mock him.

That’s not happy. He has no one. He has his dad, a career…That’s it.

He has Ichika (Touka & Kaneki’s kid).

Ichika is interesting, bc she won’t yet have biases against Shuu, and that’s probably why he’s so besotted by her. Like, ohmygod, an actual person who treats me like an actual person with emotions!

But that’s not gonna last is it? Ichika is gonna grow up seeing him get mocked by everyone around her, how long until she starts doing it?

And again, we mention the ‘man-is-predatory’ trope. I’m glad the series ended bc what tf would Ishida have made Shuu do around that kid to make him seem like even worse?

Whatever, again, a lot of this is speculatory. I’m just guessing, but this seems like a likely conclusion.

Tsukiyama doesn’t get a happy ending. The queer man doesn’t get that.

That’s why fanfic exists I guess. But my fanfic shouldn’t have to be partially comforting my comfort character so I can sleep at night.

To Conclude:

Guys, listen;

This wasn’t something that started in Re, or the extra scenes, or the side novels; this has been constant. It’s in every part of TG from start to end.

I’m not accusing anyone of doing this maliciously, bc Ishida does it so flippantly.

I know that Tsukiyama has comedic value in many other ways that do not humiliate him. He’s ridiculously wealthy, and to me, he is almost the perfect embodiment if Gemma Collins crying on CBB bc ‘it’s like working 24/7 for TWO DAYS on the trot’ and bc ‘you’ve only got straighteners not heated rollers’ and ‘straighteners are wot facking weirdos use on their hair…that’s wot u think of me’. (Just watch Gemma Colins on CBB she’s iconic).

We can also certainly joke abt some of his mental state. We do it all the time to ourselves. But like in real life; we need to watch the line.

Tsukiyama’s just fun. He’s dramatic, and flamboyance in of itself isn’t bad. It’s fun! But we have to be careful with how and where we find his fun.

It’s important we provide more in depth examinations of this character, more than just joking. We need to examine the previous fandom’s relationship with him and ask: how can we do better?

As queer people, as allies, as emotional beings.

How can we do better?

Not just for Shuu, but for other characters with similar treatment.

We are evolving and learning beings. We are all so new to the world.

It’s important for us especially to examine fictional characters, and ask how this relates to irl situations. How we treat fiction online may show more abt ourselves then we’d like to believe.

I guess what I want to say is; think. Just think. Please.

~~~

That was rly hard.

Oh, God. I’m stressed.

Haha.

I feel like ur mad at me. I feel like there’ll be ppl in my asks shouting at me.

Whatever. I think I need to log off.

I just want him to be happy. I just want him to…not be treated like this. Is that so bad?

Whatever.

I want to hug him, If I met him irl, I’d just hug him, for hours and days. He just needs a hug. He needs to be loved. He deserves it.

#follow up post #shuu tsukiyama #i want to hug him #tg #tokyo ghoul