Tumgik
#bc then nobody will be at the beach
comixandco · 1 year
Text
ik that taako’s voice in the first episode was because justin was still figuring out his character but i like to imagine that before joining bob taako put on fake accents to avoid being recognised, since he was wanted for the whole poisoning incident, but also for the bit
and then kravitz changes accents mid-fight in crystal kingdom and then drops them during their date at the chug ‘n’ squeeze and taako’s like oh 😳 same hat 😳
906 notes · View notes
godsfavoritejester · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔶 𝔰𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔶 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔡𝔬𝔫’𝔱 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔤𝔢𝔱 𝔰𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔶 🤡
50 notes · View notes
m00ngbin · 1 month
Text
Every time I see an out of state license plate on the back of the car that's causing ridiculous amounts of traffic in my town I go ballistic very quietly
10 notes · View notes
everythingsinred · 6 months
Text
controversial opinion of the year is that i dont think barbie was that great bc its message was all over the place and also they didnt realize they had made kens the women in their story so it just seemed bizarrely misogynistic to me
#little anya things#me mid-movie: ahh i see so the kens are women in this lil scenario#the movie: ACTUALLY no we have no idea what we're doing#before u come at me. 1. 'women view each other as competitors not for jobs or accomplishments#but for the attention of men'#2. the general vibe of condescension towards ken's efforts on beach echoing specific condescension of men towards women's interests#that 'oh u pathetic thing u' vibe was so strong#3. ken being shocked that a woman respected him enough to ask him for the time. an event that HAS NEVER happened to him before#he is so touched by the feeling of respect... 4. nobody knows where the kens even live.#miss representation quote abt how 50% of the population is disinterested in the other half.#5. barbie feels instantly objectified in the real world whereas ken instantly feels respected in a way hed never been#6. they dont even have genitals so ken arent actually men and barbies arent actually women bc thats not how things work in their world#listen the first half of that movie i was like. so kens are women here.#then theres the typical revenge narrative where they start the 'patriarchy' that wasnt rly all that creative but fine#but then they got all confusing and barbies are women and kens are just men who have been rightfully oppressed all along?? even tho#theyve been women-coded this whole time. okay#7. kens go back to having no government representation or right to vote and this is sposed to be funny. i guess?#im not mad at the movie for being misandrist bc it wasnt. it was just trying too hard to do too many things#that it ended up just seeming misogynistic to me#not to mention it was doing the bare minimum and is just step one in a huge capitalist ploy to start making a bunch of toy-related movies#im genuinely shocked i havent seen any criticism abt it on tumblr when its such a sloppy film throwing out a confused message#in order to make money and sell dolls. what exactly am i supposed to take away from this.... it just seems so bizarrely hypocritical#for mattel to make a movie where they feature as side-antagonists who essentially learn nothing... just for mattel irl to make more money#off of everything they mentioned in the movie. like. what changed.#also america ferrera's character existed just to give that speech and otherwise she and her daughter were not relevant to the plot at all#it was funny and aesthetic and all but the more i think abt it the more im not all that impressed. idk. am i missing smth#i dont think so. i disagree w most ppl's analysis praising it. idk idk
8 notes · View notes
kabutone · 1 year
Text
ppl that still wear a mask regularly you are more punk than anyone else
extra points if you’re in a really shitty area where there’s a bunch of anti maskers/anti vaxxers/overall shitty people around. you are extra more punk than anyone else
and ppl engaging in any kind of community care u are more punk than anyone else it’s about love and care babey!!!!!!
18 notes · View notes
gingerbreadmonsters · 7 months
Text
ginger, cracking an eyelid and thinking about opening requests for a little bit? its more likely than you think 👀👀
#redacted asmr#i never say it in as many words but my askbox is almost always open 🥳🥳#to be honest i am rubbish at actually filling reqs so its probably not a good idea#im so fucking picky about what to write and the kinds of things that appeal to me#plus like....... most reqs that come in tend to be for things that im either not great at and/or dont particularly vibe with yk#its nobodys fault that writing david feels like pulling teeth its just the way it is you get me#hence why in my pinned it makes it clear that i take Suggestions rather than Requests#thing is i could do reqs or we could do like another ask game or smth#yeah another issue w me and reqs is that my little goblin brain just CANNOT stay on track and it fucks me up Every Time 😭😭#the prompt will be like 'uhhhh elliott sunshine beach day fluff uwu' and i will get 100 words in and#think 'wait what if they were actually dead/imprisoned/doomed the whole time that would be so fun' and then thats all i can write#i mean i started what was SUPPOSED to be DAMN crew cute halloween fluffy stuff and all of a sudden they're all dead so#not a great track record on my part#i cant stand a close plan there has to be room for improvisation#which is awkward when someone has asked for smth specific 🫣🫣#ginger rambles#oh also anon is off bc i am not putting up with any more ridiculous horseplay in my inbox no sir#fuck around in my askbox and..... actually don't find out bc surprise! i deleted it already sorry who are you again
4 notes · View notes
solpng · 2 years
Text
the wedding was... ok.
Tumblr media
12 notes · View notes
doctorwhoisadhd · 2 years
Text
why do people always draw trans male characters with top surgery scars. No. let them have tits
7 notes · View notes
Text
fuck brian wilson on account of he wrote god only knows and now everyday i listen to god only knows and think ok but will i ever have a love like god only knows
2 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
The 2 stages of a breakup
4 notes · View notes
lewisvinga · 16 days
Text
ultimate merc team | george russell x fem! reader
summary; no one expected mercedes’ rookie to already be soft launching a few months into her f1 career. turns out her mystery man is someone fans all know and love.
fc; erika hauser
warnings; ?one curse word i think
taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1 @minseok-smaus @goldenmclaren @ollieshifts @lavisenri @graciewrote @xoscar03
note: requested !lewis n george pics are perf to use bc lewis is so small compared to george 😭😭😭😭
masterlist !
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by georgerussell63, landonorris, and others !
yourusername: monaco + mercedes double podium babyyyyyy !! what a weekend 🩵
tagged; mercedesamgf1, georgerussell63
username: miss y/n…. WHAT IS THIS??
username: she’s soft launching ???😫
username: FINALLY A GOOD WEEK FOR MERCEDES🙏🙏
username: used to pray for times like theseeeee
georgerussell63: you’re so small i almost didn’t see you on the podium ://
yourusername: LMAOOO i hate u sm im gonna crash into u next time 😂🤣🤣
mercedesamgf1: pls don’t
username: MERC ADMIN😭😭
username: the last picture wtf i’m so???&-@;&/
username: wdym y/n is taken😭😭💔
landonorris: i guess i know how merc’s ass looks like 😒😒😒
yourusername: george’s* ass
georgerussell63: it’s quite nice isn’t it 🤔🤔
alex_albon: funny one, george! hilarious even!
username: kakdoajcosk they’re all so😭
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
georgerussell63 uploaded to their story !
Tumblr media
[caption 1; all of my money goes to her but i don’t regret it one bit!] [caption 2; 🤍]
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
yourusername uploaded to their story !
Tumblr media
[caption 1; when he won’t let you buy your own handbags… thank you sm my love 🥹🫶] [caption 2; styling my new baby for date night ❤️‍🩹]
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
Tumblr media Tumblr media
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
yourusername uploaded to their story !
Tumblr media
[caption 1; big george n mini georgie] [caption 2; smiley after fp1 ???]
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
georgerussell63 uploaded to their story !
Tumblr media
[caption 1; ‘george, take a picture of my the lighting is so good!’ proceeds to make me take ( i kid you not) 478 pictures)] [caption 2; 🌸🌸]
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by georgerussell63, lilymhe, and others !
yourusername: our job is beach ☀️🏝️
tagged; georgerussell63
georgerussell63: beachhhhh🌊⛱️👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 liked by yourusername !
username: what happened to ur bf???? are u cheating on him???
yourusername: ya he decided to cut his hair and shave his 3 facial hairs after i told him not to😢😢
georgerussell63: I SAID I’M SORRY IT WAS A MISTAKE I KNOW💔
username: HUHHH
username: george and y/n dating was NOT on my bingo list what
username: ugh y/n’s fits always eat, thank goodness merc got a fashionista after lewis 😫
username: the way u can see george’s shadow in the 4th pic nobody talk to me 😞😞
username: THE WATERMELON PICTURE?&/,9&/9;&
username: george russell i was unfamiliar ….
lilymhe: WOWZERS😍😍😍 i want u, leave him lets run away together 😘😘😘
yourusername: i’ll meet u in an hour my honey bunches of oats 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩
georgerussell63: hold onnnn, not my gf take anyone but my gf 😞
alex_albon: how about TAKE NO ONE since lily is MY girlfriend😒
yourusername: false she’s actually mine🤍
georgerussell63: where tf does that leave me😒😒😒
landonorris: hey baby😘😘
georgerussell63: HELP ME Y/N😨😨
username: LMAODKSLDS
username: IM IN TEARSSS😭😭
username: the first fit is so mwah😫
username: merc serving cunt wowzers
username: how many letters in mercedes ?😋
username: ATEEE
mercedesamgf1: our drivers dating = the ultimate merc team😎😎 liked by yourusername and georgerussell63.
936 notes · View notes
huayouzi · 2 years
Text
using my toxic masculinity to walk on sunbaked sand rocks and dirt paths barefoot 
0 notes
vivwritesfics · 2 months
Text
Land Snake
Oscar gets a pet fic!! I love me ferrets (ps, ik ferrets are social and should be housed in pairs/fics. But for the sake of the fic Noodle is an only child)
Formula One Masterlist
Tumblr media
noodle_piastri
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by oscarpiastri, and 192,394 others
noodle_piastri dad said we have to go to the beach like true australians
view all comments
landonorris noodle isn't even from australia, is he?
oscarpiastri he's an honorary aussie
username1 omg noodle piastri
username2 i love Oscars son
username3 pls pls pls take noodle to a grand prix
aussiegrit how did my favourite grandson like the beach?
y/nl/n he loved it, almost couldn't get him to leave
noodle_piastri
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by landonorris, and 173,942 others
noodle_piastri Suzuka baaaby
view all comments
username4 OMG NOODLE IS AT A GRAND PRIX?
username5 my headcanon is that noodle and moon are best friends
username6 noodle and moon meet up when?
oscarpiastri think he might be my lucky charm
y/nl/n ... what am i, chopped liver?
oscarpiastri *lucky charms
landonorris noodle can come to every grand prix if it means I end up on the podium
oscarpiastri get your own lucky son
noodle_piastri
Tumblr media
liked by aussiegrit, and 203,192
noodle_piastri great uncle nando called me stinky
view all comments
username7 UNCLE NANDO IM WHEEZING
username8 i love how the grid have formed a little family with the pets
landonorris GREAT UNCLE NANDO CALLED YOU WHAT?
landonorris slander on my nephew
oscarpiastri nobody talks to my son like that
noodle_piastri
Tumblr media
liked by y/nl/n, and 362,192 others
noodle_piastri this is why dad never wears a sweater, bc i hide away in them - he only ever wears shorts for a similar reason
view all comments
username9 what do i have to do right in life to have a noodle of my own
oscarpiastri stop exposing my secrets
y/nl/n let our son do what he wants
username10 their son omg
logansargeant bring him to miami
y/nl/n moon noodle meet up? logansargeant moon noodle combat oscarpiastri my son is gonna whoop your sons ass y/nl/n moon hurts on hair on his precious head I'm holding you personally responsible oscarpiastri we will fight you
noodle_piastri
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by logansargeant, and 301,823 others
noodle_piastri mclaren petition to let me join dad on his ice baths
view all comments
mclaren omg noodle you're always welcome in our ice baths
oscarpiastri have you considered that I don't want an ice bath with you?
noodle_piastri impossible
y/nl/n your opinion is invalid
username11 where do we sign the petition?
username12 the money i'd pay to see this
1K notes · View notes
princessbrunette · 3 months
Note
toxic ex rafe would pick you up from a bad date no matter how pissed he was at you bc at the end of the day nobody can make you cry but him duh 🙄 he had ur best interests at heart not them! - 🐰
he’s not that toxic really in this but i couldn’t help myself
🫧🦢🪞.♡⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
he’s already rambling as he shows up, rolling his window down as he pulls up into the parking space next to where you stand. “what, this guy doesn’t drive or what? who fuckin’… leaves a girl outside the restaurant ‘stead of driving her home? jesus, this guys got no game.” he complains, all huffy and pissed off because why are you going on dates when you should be with him?
“‘said he had somewhere to be.” you mumble, humiliated as you climb into his passenger seat, fumbling for the seatbelt. when you can’t do it, he sighs and reaches over— pulling it across your body and plugging it in.
“yeah, real charming guy. i can imagine.” he shakes his head, turning to look out the back window as he reverses to turn the car around, an arm on the back of your seat. to this day the action still makes your stomach go funny.
he drives away, and for a moment there’s silence, just filled by the rumbling of the car and your pathetic sniffles.
“sorry for calling you. i know it’s not ideal—”
he waves you off with a lazy hand, eyes fluttering in irritation at himself for being so whipped.
“its fine— i— couldn’t just leave you there. s’dangerous.” he licks his lips thoughtfully before his eyes glance over at you. “what happened anyway? why’re you cryin’ over that nobody?” his nose twitches in disgust.
“you don’t even know who it was, rafe.” you wipe your eyes on the backs of your hands, refusing to look his way. he scoffs, a victorious if not slightly malicious smile on his face.
“you think people at the country club don’t talk? ‘course i do.”
another silence passes, because you’re frustrated.
“he was just so… rude. i’ve never been spoken to like that before… just made me feel like nothing on our first date. it was horrible.” your lip wobbles and he sighs.
“why are you taking anything that freak says seriously, huh? should’a known you were too good for him from the start. now his ego is boosted n’ he’s tryn’a humble you. i know how guys work, baby.” the nickname slips out on instinct and you almost wince. moving on from rafe has been hard, because as problematic as he is — he feels like home, and after the day you’ve had you want nothing more than to backslide and let him scoop you up in his arms and make it better. you sniff, a gentle smile gracing your features as he pulls into your drive.
“so wise of you, what happened?” you joke as he stops the car, head turning to glance at you but getting caught in your gaze, unable to tear his eyes away from your beauty.
“its called maturing, alright? became a man.” he tries to sound nonchalant, but even then its clear he’s trying to prove himself as better. you nod before reaching for the door handle.
“thanks for the ride, rafe. i appreciate it.”
“yeah.” he blinks, not looking at you. you climb out the car, shutting the door and as you begin to walk away, he winds the passenger window down once more, leaning over to speak out of it. “wh— hey.”
you turn around, tilting your head curiously. “cut that guy off. i mean it.” he raises his eyebrows and you nod, still naturally obedient towards him which makes his chest clench.
a week later, you spot your date at the beach with a big black ring around his eye. you wonder where it came from.
🫧🦢🪞.♡⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
414 notes · View notes
cl6udias · 1 month
Text
AINT NOBODY’S BUSINESS
Tumblr media
summary : charlie bushnell and reader have a secret relationship that isnt so secret anymore…
warnings: fluff !! use of y/n bad writing (sorry yall im trying) social media au !! slut shaming, not proof read, this is really short !! if i missed any just let me know💗
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
therealbambi: beach day !! its nice have a relaxing day after so much stress😔
comments:
iamcharliebushnell: HEY!! wheres my photo creds ? i worked hard to get these amazing pics
therealbambi: photo creds: this weirdo
diorgoodjohn: you hung out with CHARLIE?!? instead of me?!? this is criminal
therealbambi: he forced me i swear
iamcharliebushnell: i did not!! you asked me to come with you
therealbambi: liar.
iamcharliebushnell: your the liar sorry babe.
user7: BABE?!??
leahsavajeffries: these photos are so cute!!
therealbambi: thank you leah!!
user10: charlie and y/ns banter is so cute STOP
user1: FOR REALLL ALSO HIM CALLING HER BABE?!?
Tumblr media Tumblr media
diorgoodjohn: hung out with my fav girls last night ‼️‼️
comments:
therealbambi: last night was so much we need to hang out moreee
diorgoodjohn: WE DOOO !!
leahsavajeffries: the food last night was actually to die for🙏🙏
therealbambi: i told yall i know good restaurants 🤗
y/nupdates: y/ns been hanging out with the pjo cast alot maybe her in season 2?!?!
therealbambi: maybe who knows🤷🏽‍♀️
y/nupdates: STOP WHAT?!?
@iamcharliebushnell: why wasnt i invited to this little get together😞
diorgoodjohn: since when you a girl?
user4: NOT CHARLIE TRYING TO JOIN THEM LMAOO
user5: how much you wanna bet he wanted to hang out with y/n
*liked by dior and charlie*
user5: BOTH DIOR AND CHARLIE LIKED MY COMMENT IM TAKING THAT AS A YES
iamcharliebusnell: i definitely only wanted to hang out with bambi
user5: I FEEL SO LUCKY RN STOPP
user2: Y/N AND CHARLIE STANS RN ARE GOING CRAZY RN OVER THIS (its me im y/n and charlie stans)
walkerscobell: real
this comment was deleted
Tumblr media Tumblr media
mtv: spoted singer and actress y/n making out with a mystery man outside her house in LA last night👀
comments:
y/nfan1: STOP WHOS TAKING AWAY MY WIFE FROM ME WTF
y/nupdates: realest thing ever said
user11: that kinda looks like charlie ngl🧐
charliebushnellupdates: STOP YOUR RIGHT AND THEY HAVE BEEN HANGING OUT ALOT
user1989: if it is i think ill actually die imagine the album she would write about him STOPP
haterngl: she doesn’t deserve Charlie shes gonna break up with him in a week and write a break up album about “how horrible he was”
user0: fr ngl shes kinda a slut i mean how many boyfriends has she had
user89: if your jealous just say that boo😘
pjofan13: STOPPP I MEAN Y/N HAS BEEN HINTING ABOUT A BOYFRIEND AND HER AND CHARLIE HAVE BEEN HANGING OUT ALOT RECENTLY OMG
therealbambi: y’all are fucking detectives or something i mean damn
y/nismywife: IS THIS HER CONFIRMING HER AND CHARLIE?
user07: Y/N WHAT?!? WDYM
user13: WHAT DOES SHE MEAN BY THIS ARE HER AND CHARLIE DATING WHAT😔
Tumblr media
authors note: sorry if this is bad 😔 im new to writing and stuff !! anyways part 2 will be posted soon !! i just ran out of photo room bc i made this on my phone💗
©cl6udias.tumblr 2024. all rights reserved. unauthorized copying, translation, or claiming of my writing or any works as your own is strictly prohibited.
303 notes · View notes
thevirgincherry · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
BLIND ITEM !
ft. og re4!leon s. kennedy x fem!reader
tags. actor au, smut, leon is an ass, some misogyny duh, reader vomits once like non-sexual context, breaking and entering, dub-con that turns to just consensual sex, only one threat of violence :3
note. comm for the sweetest ever @liableperfections / 🪩 anon :3 plot credit goes entirely to her literally had to cut so many words down it was 10k before bc i was so excited ab it so if it seems choppy I’m so sorry… 😭 ignore my attempt at navigating la.. it’s so confusing usa system is so confusing .. ignore any typos :3 feedback n rbs always appreciated!!! REPOST CUZ TUMBLR HATES ME.
Tumblr media
Malibu Beach is a terrestrial paradise. A post-apocalyptic Eden of sorts ‘cause there’s no tree of knowledge or any apples— Only thing Malibu Beach and Eden have in common is the naked ladies. It’s the best part of both. Which to Leon is factually correct, but to be politically correct as Hunnigan, his PR manager, would say it’s an opinion.
No need for serpent-induced bedlam, hedonism is at its peak, the fall of man is in full swing. There’s more snow than grains of sand. Leon’s world comes to life in bottle greens and muted blues, water glittering like a diamond behind the dimmed lenses of his aviators.
He snags a cabana close to the shore, draping curtains to keep him safe from blinding cameras and prying eyes and drab women who are more naked than they are clothed. From afar it’s a great sight. Up close it’s a whole lot of cellulite and over-plumped lips and over-plucked brows. Leon’s not picky, his standards are not high, he’s only asking for the bare minimum. Nice face, nice ass, nice tits— It’s expected, but it’s not an expectation ‘cause that would mean girls have to try and live up to it, but most of them come that way. Well, they’re supposed to come that way, but some girls got a little busted on the flight over from heaven.
Ashley faces him, she should be careful when Leon’s around, he pulls on bikini strings more than he tugs on his own dick, and her bikini has started to look especially stringy.
“Can you get my back?” In the light, her lashes twinkle like gossamer wet with morning dew.
Don’t need to ask him twice. Leon’s hands traverse the plains of her back, he coats her skin in lotion like the finest of pâtissiers would a cake, angling the spatula downwards to smooth thick buttercream into pastel swirls of perfection. It’s only SPF10 ‘cause Ashley’s more focused on getting an even tan and less worried about skin cancer.
They’ve been hanging out between filming. Ashley pisses him off with her hoity-toity shit, someone swapped out her brains for that rack, but she’s hot so Leon keeps her around. And to be completely honest, his perpetual state of ennui had been smashed like brittle glass by Ashley alone. If it wasn’t for her, he’d still be riding the Raccoon City wave. Biggest blockbuster to come out of 1998. That’s a big feat. Competition was big names like Deep Impact, The Horse Whisperer— Oh, who is he kidding, nobody remembers that crap, but everybody remembers Raccoon City, the Resident Evil sequel that hit the ball out of the park.
The Resident Evil series is on its fourth instalment, and Ashley Graham insisted he come back to reprise his role; she wanted to act alongside Leon S. Kennedy and no one else. She stinks of money and Chanel Cristalle. Her dad is the studio head, so Leon’s kissing up to her, takes her cruising in his Bugatti Veyron up and down Rodeo Drive. They never breach the Platinum Triangle, he fears Ashley’s diaphanous skin would erode the moment unfiltered air hits her, melt off her bones in fleshly strings until there’s a skeleton rattling around in his passenger seat.
Ashley’s back is real nice. Like, the skin is super clear and creamy white and her shoulder blades stick out the same way a slinky feline’s do. If he could use anorexic as an adjective he would. Not quite, but almost.
“That feels so good, Leon.” He catches the tail end of the glance she casts over her shoulder, it’s flirty and he knows what’s coming next. Ashley’s spine straightens, skin pulled taut to the jagged bone, she twists her upper half and pouts directly at him. She pouts a lot for someone so scared of wrinkles. but when you’re this rich, the de-ageing secret is just Botox he guesses.
“C’mere,” Leon adopts a wider stance, spreading his thighs so she can curl up between them like a cosy pup in bed. “Hey, cutie.” He traces a thumb over her lips which are a milky shade of pink, fingers curling up beneath her chin to tilt her head up towards him.
She’s giving him bedroom eyes. Feathery lashes fanning his skin with the pace at which she bats them, like hummingbird wings beating against the wind. Leon is so going to get laid. Ashley’s nails rake over the sinewed flesh of his sculpted thighs, a testament to his athleticism, he does all his own stunts you know? Shit, he’s about to get the sloppiest head of all time, his dick is about to be degloved by that perfectly puckered pout, suction must go crazy—
In a single sweeping motion, the flimsy curtain is drawn back, fluttering in the same way Leon’s gut lurches. He can’t tell the difference between butterflies and nausea. It all feels the same to him. He half expects to be struck dumb by celestial flashes of camera light that gets him hotter than the sun.
However, in a much more pleasant turn of events, he spots a black whale tail that leads his sharp eyes to a bead of sweat dripping down a toned abdomen— Her belly button sticks out which Leon hates, but those tiny hotpants make up for her faults. They’re so short the flappy pockets are visible, distressed denim fringe brushing nice thighs that have got to mean an even nicer ass is right behind.
The face is even cuter. Round cheeks yet to shed baby fat, the apples smattered with charming freckles, her reddish ponytail is stiff with salt water. “Move,” she demands in a dictatorial fashion as if the world would bend to her will, rolling over and baring its belly like an appeased dog under her command.
Leon, against his better judgement, stays put. Who even are you, lady? The audacity of some girls, must be a fan of some kind. A clammy hand lands on his leg. Feels more like a dead fish left to rot on the docks. He shivers inwardly, prying sticky fingers off of him to clarify what the actual fuck is going on.
Tumblr media
There’s a pretty girl in your peripheral. Not Claire. She’s not pretty in the way Claire is. She’s model pretty, might be a model or an actress or both, or neither. Just plain old pretty. But, it’s not plain, it’s extraordinary really. Polly Pocket dolly plucked from her compact home— Oh, gosh, your stomach is fucking killing right now.
Life is crazy, right? One minute you’re sucking face with a cute guy from Europe, and the next minute rotgut Mai Tais are not pairing well with the sweltering Malibu heat. And now you have reached the gates of heaven, fat-bellied clouds and Polly Pocket and something firm in your hand like a muscled calf. Not like a muscled calf, it is a muscled calf and it belongs to the most devastatingly handsome man you have ever laid eyes upon.
You anticipate the sprouting of wings from his back, the halo of Malibu sunlight that crowns his dirty blond hair to form an actual fucking halo. Holy fuck. You hope God can’t read your thoughts right now. Praying is out of the question, that’s like directly asking God not to press the big red button— Everyone presses the big red button, and then God would cast you down to hell in a fit of disgust. All ‘cause you want this angel to put your thighs to your chest and fuck you boneless with his seraphic dick.
“What the fuck, man?” Is the angelic knowledge he imparts upon your dying body. You feel like you’re being cooked alive, hot oil bubbling your skin.
“What is your problem, man?” Claire’s utterance comes at the same time.
“Hey, Claire,” you greet weakly.
“Hey, babe.” The back of her cool hand rests on your forehead, the heat is going to sear her skin like a piece of Grade-A beef. “Listen, man, can you just take your girlfriend and go?”
“She’s not my—“
“Leon, let’s just go.” The blonde girl loops her arm around this divine being’s bulging bicep.
Claire closes the curtain to shield you from the sun. It brings forth a wave of relief to your sizzling body, doused in floral breeze and sea-salt-infused linen.
“Aw, babe, you’re fucked.” She fans you lightly with her hand in hopes that man-made wind is enough to combat heat stroke or alcohol poisoning or whatever it is.
“You can head back, ‘m good here,” you slur, “gonna take a nap”
“You sure?” Claire pets your head, you see past her composed exterior, inside is a girl who’s mourning the loss of that cute beach bunny who ran for the hills the moment you started to emanate the smell of sickness.
“Mhm.” You nod, a sluggish movement that makes your liquified brain slosh about in your head. “I’ll be okay.”
“I’ll come check on you later, yeah? Just stay right here for me.” She lays a damp towel over your lower half and you feel like a bit of a beached whale. Like, fucking slack and stupid and heavy with sleep. It’s so unfair. Your one day off and the excessive day drinking comes to bite you in the ass.
Your nap is plagued by divine visions - getting to sink your teeth into that angel’s biceps. So life is not all bad. At least you’ve still got wet dreams to keep you going. The sun has sunken beyond the horizon, dwindling light paints the landscape a burnt orange, the deepening blues of the water taking on a coral hue as you poke your head out past the cotton curtains.
In the distance, you spot a mildly Claire-shaped dot with a ponytail. She’s still having fun so you make no move to bother her, instead you gather your belongings in a methodical manner. Beach towel folded at the bottom of your bag, cover-up slotted neatly into the side pocket. Water bottle and sunscreen on top - making sure to check the caps on both are tightly screwed on. Purse, keys, phone. You’ve got it all.
Though you’ve regained a sense of self - whatever you were going through a few hours ago that was an out-of-body experience - a tight knot lingers in the depths of your gut. It’s lodged in your throat. You proceed to the bathrooms located near the car park, beach bathrooms are not the nicest place on earth, but you’re not going there for a relaxing retreat, you’re there to unload the unholy amount of vomit that sits in your stomach like sunken rocks in a burlap sack.
Your gait is slightly off, it’s hard to navigate the beach in rubbery flip-flops, limping as your feet are anchored into the sinking sand with each step. After a treacherous journey over the colossal (read: totally flat, flatter than a brown rat’s feet) dunes, you’re granted access to the mildewy washrooms— The door swings open and collides with your delicate skull. A surge of nausea hits your system like adrenaline, pumping through you, and you pitch forward, hands on your knees as you hurl.
“What the fuck? Are you stupid?”
His voice is like the gentle tinkering of bells or a choir of angels, it’s thick and smooth like molasses, a knife through hot butter. All of the above. Even when he’s swearing the unholiest words you have ever heard under his breath. It’s him, the guy from before. And you just missed vomiting on his feet. Narrowly. He did hit you with a fucking door though. So there’s that.
“Oh my gosh, are you okay? I saw that!” The cute blonde from before has swiftly joined his side.
“I’m fine, Ashley, she ran into me.” Ashley… Ashley…You might’ve seen her on a billboard somewhere in Hollywood. Certainly looks the type.
“Not you, asshole, oh my god, Leon. Are you serious? You hit her!” Her voice is like money. Papery thin, but there’s substance to it. Makes the world go round. Makes you happy. This concussion might be making you woozy enough to feel happy. “Oh my god, are you, like, okay?”
You clutch at the wall of the beach hut-shaped washroom, steadying yourself. “I’m good, yeah, I’m really good, thanks for asking.” The vomit is gone from your system, that’s a step forward, but now there’s an ugly bump forming on your head.
“What if you have a concession?” Ashley frets, she makes no move to step closer as she would have to manoeuvre the puddle of vomit.
“A concussion.” Leon corrects, he side-steps to make a swift and graceful exit from this situation, making a beeline for the topless convertible parked a few rows over. Oh, shit this guy is like a big shot, and you almost puked on him. Keyword almost.
“Leon! Hello? We can’t just leave her!” She waves her arms at him wildly, like she’s flagging down a rescue helicopter.
“Oh no, my friend’s still here, I came in her car,” you begin, smiling sheepishly as she has made you feel a little like an abandoned puppy. Or a nuisance.
“No, no, you’re sick, like, really sick, and Leon hit you. He totally owes you.” Ashley insists, a delicate hand grasps your wrist in a surprisingly firm grip. “Get in the front.” She’s demanding not in the same way Claire is, but in the way of a spoiled little girl. It works for her, and you plop down on a leathery seat that sticks to your skin. “Leon, I’m gonna meet daddy over in Carbon, so don’t worry about me, okay?” She flutters her fingers at him. “Behave yourself!”
Shit. This car costs more than you would on the black market. That makes you nervous. The guy makes you even more nervous. The way he’s glowering at you— What an asshole. Ashley’s right, he hit you hard, you so deserve a swanky ride home.
“Are you stalking me?” He asks, sunglasses perched on the top of his head, he looks like a total asshole, levelling you up with those glacial eyes.
“Excuse me?”
“Are you stalking me?” He’s like dead serious right now.
Tumblr media
“Why would I be stalking you?” There’s genuine confusion on your face, at least that’s what you want Leon to believe.
“Funny,” he scoffs, “real funny.”
“I’m sorry, what’s so funny?” You blink at him stony, gaze unwavering.
You, bitch. Acting like you don’t know him, like his face isn’t plastered all over California. In every nook and cranny. From flagship stores to beige vegan cafes that are frequented by a handful of hipsters and bored trophy wives alone. “Nothing,” Leon settles on, you can play dumb all you want, but this isn’t his first rodeo with stalkers.
In your hand, your Nokia beeps, and much to his annoyance, you pick it up to make casual conversation with whatever creep that’s put you up to this plan. “No, I didn’t mean to scare you, Claire. I literally kinda, I don’t know, it’s hard to explain, but I’m safe, okay? I’m in a…” You trail off, casting a sideways glance at him, “I’m in a taxi right now.”
He squeezes the steering wheel white-knuckled. You’re playing with him right now, and it’s not fucking funny. A little pathetic if anything.
“Yeah, I got enough cash on me to make it back, don’t worry about it. I will, I will, yep, okay. Bye, Claire.” You drop your cell phone into your beach bag and it falls quiet apart from the prowling growl of his engine.
“Where you need to go?” Leon asks, his teeth grinding together, offset by his clenched jaw.
“Santa Monica.”
“That’s helpful,” he says dryly. “Long way over.”
“I’m just being safe.” You shrug. “It’s half an hour, where’d you come from anyway? Beverly Hills?”
“You’re being unhelpful,” he repeats to cement the fact that he is going out of his way to be an upstanding citizen and help stupid girls who walk face-first into doors no matter how stupid they fucking are. Leon’s soft spot for girls is clearly limited. “Bel Air,” he adds a moment later, “but you know that, don’t you?” It’s in every tabloid, don’t gotta be a stalker to know where he lives.
“No, I do not, I seriously don’t know who you are, man.” Your profile is nice enough, not an eyesore, lips look kissable, you would look nice at his feet he decides. Girls like you need dick in your mouth to learn a few things about shutting up.
“You got in my car.” Leon points out.
“I was forced into your car.” Comes your rebuttal.
“Listen, I don’t have time for your shit, just tell me.” Leon never raises his voice at women, that would be a brash decision, girls hear a slight shift in tone and go cuckoo. When you talk to them all nice and sweet they turn to putty with no regard for the subject matter at hand. Could be harvesting a few organs or taking a couple billion out of their trust fund, it doesn’t matter, they’ll be stuck swooning.
“Don’t talk to me like that.” Look at you, you think you’re the shit. “I can get home from the boardwalk.”
Leon is a lot of things. He is an asshole, he would feel like more of an asshole if he made a chick walk home in the dark. He swallows his pride and he swears his Adam’s apple bulges out further than usual. “I’ll take you home, no sweat, I owe you one.”
“I’m good, I want to walk.” You are one stubborn bitch.
“You could use the walk,” Leon says, a slip of the tongue. He didn’t mean anything by that. Listen, it just came out. Promise. You’re testing his fucking patience.
You bristle beside him, to his surprise you make no move to insult him in turn. “Who are you, even?” It’s thrown over your shoulder coolly. “Like, am I supposed to know you?”
“Leon,” Leon says, and to his knowledge there are no other Leon’s in Hollywood - Leonardo DiCaprio does not count.
“Doesn’t ring a bell.” You’ve gotta be messing with him. It’s working, you’re driving him insane.
“Okay, sure.” He bites his tongue, and soon enough you tell him your address. Not the nicest part of Santa Monica, not the worst part. Definitely not Downtown L.A. so that’s good.
The velvet sky is frosted by stars, and it is a beautiful night for road head which Leon really fucking deserves for putting up with so much shit. If it were Ashley by his side he would’ve been forced to pullover more than a few times on the drive over to The Flats.
He pulls up in front of a house that looks to be made of paper mache. Wow, you’re slumming it. Leon makes an unmitigated promise to himself to never be seen around these parts ever again. The air is different, and there’s so many bad smells and oh my lord is that a homeless woman? He better leave before she knocks on his car door to offer him a good time.
“Bye, sweetheart,” Leon tells you because he is the prime example of a gentleman. “Not gonna thank me?”
“What an asshole.” You don’t even bother to say it under your breath, just to his fucking face after he dropped you off in this ugly, grey neighbourhood in his gorgeous convertible.
He forgets about you by morning. Leon has seen more women than a gynaecologist will in their lifetime. You’re another forgettable rack. That is until the following week. A blind item drops. He skims the page.
Blond guy… Plays a lot of action-hero roles… Good with women… Total Asshole… Something about harassment… Something about a full article dropping next week…
Sounds like Leon alright. Hunnigan is on his ass about it. Ashley is on his ass about it. The director is on his ass about it. The staff are looking at him funny. The room is spinning. Leon is going to take a prop gun and shoot himself. He’s managed to keep his asshole status under wraps, money and dick go a long way for girls— Shit, that bitch from Santa Monica. You were not an easy lay, there was no laying in fact. He didn’t offer you sympathy dick to make up for whatever he said to get your panties in a twist.
Leon checks his watch— Filming can wait, Ashley can wait, he won’t be long. Traffic is a nightmare, this sheepskin jacket is sticking to him - only time he has ever lamented having a roofless car. He shrugs off his costume, lays it over the headrest of the passenger seat. Your place is the crumbling stack of bricks tucked into the far corner of a street that is more litter than street.
He knocks on your door firmly, afraid it’ll knock down the paper walls. You don’t answer. He knocks again, taps his foot, and you do not answer. Leon tries the handle, he’s fucking desperate, okay? This film— The premiere has to go smoothly, he has to be back in the limelight and then you can go around making as many accusations as you please, send the pitchfork-wielding mob his way the moment promotions are over.
The door opens. Leaving your door unlocked in a neighbourhood this rough, oh, honey, you’re just begging for it, aren’t you? He steps over the threshold, the door clicks shut behind him, he moves forward in deliberate strides like he knows his way around. To be fair, there’s not many rooms to explore, not Ashley’s sprawling marble landing. From the top of the stairs, he hears your voice.
“Claire, is that you? I just got out the shower, wait there!”
Babe, you got ready for him? That’s cute, he hopes you shaved. The floorboards creak under his boots, climbing the stairs to face the open door of the bathroom. You’re in there, facing the mirror, wrapped in a baby blue towel. Easy access. When you spot him in the reflection, you drop the tub of cleansing cream in the sink basin, it splatters at the same moment your scream shatters the silence.
“What— How did you get in? Why’re you in my house? Get out!” All questions that Leon would answer if you shut up. You’re a stupid little thing, backing yourself into the wall until the back of your knees bump the bathtub. “Oh my god—“
“I let myself in, door was open, babe,” Leon says smoothly, “That’s real dangerous, y’know?”
You clutch at the shower curtain and almost bring it down on your head, Leon pries your fingers from the material as his hands find purchase on the fat of your hips. “Get off me— Get off, get off, get off!” Your spine straightens when he taps your cheek sharply. Huh. That worked. Is that what you need to loosen up? A nice, hard fuck. Some dick in that lonely pussy of yours.
“Hey, calm down, it’s just me.” The guy you think you know all about. “I wanted to talk to you.”
“You’re breaking into my fucking house, you fucking psycho, why would I want to talk to you?” Little fists hammer away at his chest, nails catching on his chest holster that looks more like BDSM gear than anything useful.
“You kidding me?” Leon captures your chin, his touch is anything but tender, a tactile intrusion that leaves crescent-shaped impressions on your jaw. “Had a lot to say in that article.”
“Is that… Is that what this is about?” You catch your breath, trying to appear nonplussed, though you tread carefully in trepidation. “The article isn’t even out yet-“ A soft whimper betrays your confident front when Leon bows his head to meet your eyes.
“Look at me when you’re speaking,” he instructs, and you do. What a good girl. “Okay, there you go, baby, continue.”
The disdain that spoils your pretty face intensifies at his words, and yet you can’t look away. Cute. Head says one thing, pussy says another. “I’m not- I’m not making Claire drop the article, this is the biggest scoop she’s ever had, and you’re gross.” You stand your ground. “You’re an asshole, I hope nobody ever has to deal with your shit again, I hope you get blacklisted, like, forever and fucking ever. I watched your shitty movies, I could do better than that and I got a D in drama class, you’re just hot and you get away with it-“
“That’s not very nice.” Leon talks to you like he is scolding a misbehaving child. Which you are. A rash little girl driven forward by noisy temerity. “We talked once, sweetheart. I wanted to go on a second date, what a shame.” He’s glad you find him hot though.
“Fuck off.”
“C’mon, you’re too cute to be using nasty words like that.” His teasing is not taken in stride, you elbow him in the gut and squirm out of his grip. Leon recovers fairly well, his fingers catching the hem of your towel, unravelling it like a spool of thread. He draws you closer, naked, wet body flush to his clothed one. Nice tits, tick, cute ass, tick, he wants to see how you’d look in a tight skirt, one that hugs your stomach and hips and the tapering of your waist. The type Hunnigan wears when she means business.
And shit. Your pussy is the only thing cuter than your face. Shaved bare like you knew he was coming. You wanted it. You did. Leon doesn’t see any other hot dates waiting for you. “Aw, baby, you shouldn’t have.” He coos, tracing your puffy pussy lips with the pad of his thumb.
“Don’t do that…” Your voice is merely a whisper, and you’re not scared, girls like you don’t get scared. They get pissed off. Heated. Angry and upset. But never scared.
“Is this what you want, babe? Some dick ‘n you’ll shut up? Just wanted my attention.” Leon’s voice is a low rumble in your ears, he drawls like a slow trickle of sticky honey. Nothing is stickier than your cunt. He parts your lips, catching the dribbles of slick that form in beads along your slit. “Jesus, you’re fuckin’ wet, baby. You needed this, didn’t you?”
“No,” you croak out, throat dry from only a few minutes of disuse.
“No? You want me to stop then, sweetheart?” Leon slows his touch, it diminishes until it’s gone entirely and you whine at the loss so sweetly. “You’re not making any sense, babe.”
“Oh my god.” You suck in a breath, trembling not out of fear, but out of unadulterated rage and dizzying lust for a piece of his dick. “Fuck you.” He takes that as a Please, fuck me!
“How about we do something easier, baby.” Leon forces you onto your knees, and he was fucking right. You look so good like this. Knelt by his feet. His belt is unclipped, pants unzipped, boxers lowered. He guides his dick into your mouth, and you really are the most cock-starved thing he's ever met, ‘cause you open up and swallow him whole.
Then you do the sluttiest fucking thing a girl has ever done for him - reach back and jab your nails into the meat of his ass to force his dick deeper down your throat. “Shit, that’s right, baby— Fuck, you’re a fucking freak, huh?” Leon rewards you with a skull fuck. Balls clapping wetly and obscenely against your chin.
You gag on it, and you love it. God, he feels the pulse of your cunt through his boot when you grind yourself down on the steel toe cap. It’s round enough to do no damage, cool enough to help that hot cunt out, and the perfect shape to part your folds and stimulate your swollen clit.
Leon slaps it on your cheek a couple of times, then he tightens his hand around the shaft as you play with his balls, try to fit ‘em in your mouth like jawbreakers. Shit, fuck, his brain fucking blanks. He’s gonna cum if you don’t stop. His hand comes to rest on your forehead, hoping to snuff out the pleasure that builds too soon in his belly, you pop off his cock, refusing to stop making out with his tip, tonguing the slit like you’re getting paid to do this.
The bedroom is a couple metres away, it’s an awkward shuffle over with his lips slotted to yours, tongue running over your teeth, licking at your gums. Your back hits the handle, then less than a metre after that it hits the squeaky mattress. He kisses down your body, you smell like fruity body wash, it might be strawberry or raspberry. It smells like pink, that’s all he knows.
A sloppy kiss is placed on the very front of your mound. “You want me to play with your sticky little pussy, baby?”
“Ew,” you whimper out, nodding anyways, legs bent at the knee to bare your sweet pussy to him.
He laps at you like a dog. Eating pussy is tedious, Leon likes pushing heads down on his dick, it’s way better. But to hear you moan like that, shit he would do it a thousand times over, latch onto your clit and suck till you see stars. “Did you like that, baby? Fuck, creamed on my fucking tongue, sweet little thing.” He wipes his mouth on the back of his hand. Sure, Leon's going to go back to set smelling of your cunt, it’s not so bad. He quite likes it. Better the tang of pussy than sweat.
“Jus’ put it in,” you beg, “please, please—“
“I heard you the first time, sweetheart. Be patient.” Leon takes your ankles in his hands, puts them by your ears. See this? That’s when Leon can tell a girl really fucking wants him. When she holds her thighs up for him, and then she puts her palms flat to spread herself as open as she can get. “Jesus, baby, you’re a slut.” He laughs derisively, it rolls off his tongue as sweetly as any other pet name.
You’re left keening when the head of his dick sinks into your weeping cunt, your toes curl, and Leon cranes his neck to kiss your ankle. He runs his hands over the backs of your plush thighs, circling his hips as he eases into you— He’s lying. In his world, there’s no easing. Leon’s dick is mean, and he can tell you’ve been dying for a rough fuck. He bottoms out the second his head pops past your fluttering hole. Then he’s balls-to-the-wall. Like, literally. They’re heavy against your ass, slapping loudly with each measured thrust.
“Baby,” Leon starts, he’s breathless, rolling his hips into yours, “I swear on my life, sweetheart, if that shit drops I’ll beat you fuckin’ bloody.” That article dropping would signal the end of his life as he knows it. Your pussy clamps down on him at his words. “Oh, you nasty little bitch, you liked that?”
There’s a string of yes, yes, yeses! and then a string of expletives, and then a drawn-out call out of his name as he drives into you with all the force of a freight train. Your nails are scratching down his back, and your pussy is coating him in the same wetness that pools below your ass.
“Take it, baby, take it, fucking take it.” It takes one last thrust for you to come undone, your orgasm has your body going ramrod straight, and then your pussy fucking gushes. And Leon in all his years of sex and women and pussy and fucking has never made a girl do that. Half of him is convinced you’ve gone and pissed on him, the other half is sure he’s made you squirt like girls do in porn— Holy shit. He’s twenty-seven years old and he only just made a girl squirt.
You cry out as he grinds into you, his dick bumping your cervix, his pelvis grinding into your clit— And you sob, shaking your head as another burst of liquid spurts out of your cunt, soaking his abdomen, soaking his fucking shirt that belongs to the costume department—
Fuck, he’s gonna cum. He’s cumming hard. Leon’s balls tighten, and his shaft twitches as his load shoots out of the tip of his cock into your tight cunt. He didn’t pull out. If there’s one thing, he’s good at, it’s pulling out. Leon made a girl squirt, and he didn’t pull out. All in one day. What an accomplished man he is.
“Mmm.” You roll onto your front, face in the pillows as you catch your breath, still shivering as aftershocks zap at your nerve endings. Leon wipes the sweat built on his forehead, strands of his hair stuck to it. “I’m not convinced, the article’s still going up.”
What a bitch.
“Right.” He delivers a brisk swat to your ass, it elicits an involuntary yelp. “Guess I’ll have to convince you. I got a week, don’t I?”
“A week and a half,” you say, not bothering to bid him bye as he zips his cargos, “I’m pretty hard to convince.” Cheeky.
“It can be done.” Through another round of dick from Monday to Friday.
Tumblr media
282 notes · View notes