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thisdreamplace · 2 years

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Something you said in an earlier post really stuck with me. Specifically:

in the law especially, lying to yourself actually never works because like it says in the bible god will not be mocked. this means that you can pretend to be some type of way, but the god within knows what you’re REALLY saying within yourself. don’t be surprised when your real story you believe in keeps showing up in your life.

I know that changing the story is different for everyone, so I’ve been trying different techniques. I’ve found that “act confident and you will change” totally backfires on me. Commanding my subconscious isn’t right for me either. Affirming/mental diet is inconsistent at best because it feels so forced. Now I’ve been trying to take your advice and dive into why I’m thinking these things in the first place, but most of the time, I’m just sort of blank? Like, when I try to sit with my feelings I just find that, it’s just how I feel. Almost like they are bedrock assumptions.

When I try to change them I get the resistance from those bedrock assumptions, like the “lying to yourself never actually works” part. I want to change but it feels like when I think more in line with who I want to be, my mind can’t get around who I am.

I know everything is as hard as I make it and everything is up to me. I don’t want to be a victim to my own mind, so how do I kill the old story for good when it feels like the story is me?

i really love this question. i think there’s plenty of people who can relate to this.

i wanna say its okay and normal if u try to sit w something and meet dead ends. its happened to me plenty and its no biggie. just trust youre doing everything right and itll all work out anyway. u can’t force anything so just breathe and let it be~

so when it comes to u being in a place such as you described, “so how do I kill the old story for good when it feels like the story is me?” the best thing that’s helped me is learning how to accept im actually nothing and so i am everything — and so i can be anything.

like start asking yourself questions. start challenging your old beliefs. who said that’s who you are ? (you did) who accepted that as true for you ? (you did) what if you decided something different ? what if you went a new direction for once ?

start challenging yourself. stop settling for the answer of “this is just who i am” when it’s not who you want to be. at some point you decide that type of answer just isn’t going to cut it anymore. start asking yourself “why not me ?” bc you were the only one who ever held yourself back. when you start seeing how it was always you who chose to accept the old beliefs, you start to see how it makes no sense as to why you can’t choose something new.

so in other words, start challenging yourself. start playing around with the idea that you actually can start accepting new beliefs about yourself bc… you’re the one who accepted the old ones in the first place. there’s literally no difference between “i am ugly” and “i am pretty” other than you accept one and reject the other. this goes for all beliefs you may hold. so start getting uncomfortable and push against your own limitations.

and when u start asking urself and challenging urself, often times you won’t keep drawing blanks and the real reasons you’ve been holding urself back will begin to surface and you’ll have to sit with those and feel them out, if it occurs. “this is just who i am” really doesn’t make sense when you realize you only truly are “I AM” … and anything else attached after that is a choice.

i hope this helps <3

#i am #allowing

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myelocin · 3 years

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hi! i’m taking you up on your offer of speaking to you about deep stuff 😭 i don’t really have people to turn to and even though i don’t know you, your words are genuinely so comforting, regardless of what you say so thank you. in advance, i apologize for the entire dissertation i’m abt to write 😭😭

anyways, i’ve just been feeling so bland?? 😭 like idek how to describe it. but genuinely so purposeless for so long. i started college (youngin over here 😩) and although the experience isn’t at all bad, and i don’t mind being alone, it feels isolating sometimes yk?

i only ever had one close friend my entire life because we both developed a sort of unhealthy dependence ig? and our relationships w other people were always compared to ours so we weren’t able to be very close to others yk.

but she moved away and i stayed home, and while i’m happy she’s experiencing everything she deserves to, it sucks to lose the only person i��ve had. i don’t even live on my campus, so i can’t make friends easily since i don’t live with everyone. and since she lives on her campus, she’s making friends and moving on (and i’m not mad or bitter that she is, i’m just sad i’m not experiencing that on my end).

i know bad moments pass and everything, it just sucks that in order to move past them you actually have to live through them. it feels never ending, and i know it isn’t, but life feels so bleak. it’s so hard to put yourself out there and meet people and do things and experience stuff when i feel like this, and obv ik i’m young so whole life ahead or whatever ‼️ but right now i’m here, and here is sad 😭

just wanted to put my feelings out LMAO just typing it out and knowing someone might read it feels nice. so you’ve already helped immensely 🙏

thank you for everything you share on here. you’re seriously my favorite creator and writer and all around blog on this app, thank you so much for this safe space. please remember to prioritize yourself always always always always ‼️‼️ take care of yourself a LOT because the world needs someone like you. i expect to see you posting more about your accomplished goals too ‼️ your success is celebrated by all of your followers 🥰🥰

apologies for the essay 😭😭 but thank you again 🥰 i hope you achieve everything you’ve dreamed for yourself shawty bae

pls! never apologize ab your feelings TwT this corner is here for u to stay and hopefully feel safe in, and ofc, i'll always try to deliver love as best as i can.

but everything u feel!!! TOTALLY VALID!!! i understand how ur feeling in regards to ur friend tho. like it's not like u want them to be miserable w/o u but the loneliness rlly does settle in when u catch urself feeling like the rest of the world is moving while ur "here" and "here" just has u feeling stuck. (BY THE WAY I LOVE THAT U SAID THAT BC IT MAKES SENSE..........) alot of the time we try to invalidate our own feelings by the comfort that what hurts will eventually go and we should look forward to that(?) and it results to ignoring what hurts in the present. like how do we move on and heal if we don't acknowledge the here T__T

but honestly i'm glad you're looking at things and thinking of the bigger picture. truth is we are only this young and there is a whole life still ahead. it's sadness today, but that sadness or loneliness won't stick for the rest of your days. it feels like everyday when that cloud is right above your head but even storms have to leave at some point right ;w; u just gotta allow urself to feel it all then let it go when the icky part of feeling signals that it's gotta go. until then, i hope you hold tight to the little reasons that make u think of the inevitable sunshine that really will come. i assure u that u are always heard and u are tremendously loved.

#nc.chat #family #and PLS... U ARE TOO KIND #T^T #hopefully i'll get to that point where i can share more good news than the sad gorl hour posts lately!! sfkhsjkshdf #thank u for opening up anon T^^T IM SENDING U SO MUCH LOVE

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eijispumpkin · 3 years

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good lord this is long i apologize, but hi hello, lovely human with a heart of gold, sweet creature who's full of love, i cannot thank u enough for being u! for sharing your amazing works and bringing comfort to so many people, everything u write is so magical and re-reading your stuff always makes me feel like i'm receiving a warm hug it's the best feeling out there, ik u're taking a break rn and i'm glad to see u taking time for urself, as cool as the internet is it can also be very shitty at times unf, pls take care of urself nd ur health qt ! plus ik we r going thru some rly scary times this year with the pandemic and all that too, ik it's rough, but i hope u're okay, and i wish u loots of happiness mwahh

if u're not accepting asks right now i'm rly sry! pls ignore this i hope u have an amazing day ♡ but if it's not too much trouble, how did u start posting online? bc god, the way my brain keeps convincing me it's stupid even tho ik it would bring me joy :c i see all the drafts and ideas i've had for years now but never got the courage to post or develop bc i always convinced myself that it's too late now, or like it only works if u've already done it for at least a couple years? and that i suck anw and "wanting to write what i'd like to see/read" doesnt really work when i haven't practiced much, sigh even if i gather enough courage smhow, idk wut i'd have to tackle first

you never have to apologize to me for saying long things, no worries my friend!! i am long-winded and rambly by nature, so i totally get it <3 and ahh thank you so much for your kind and lovely words, i appreciate it a lot!!!! i'm very glad to hear that you like my writing so much ♥

how i started posting... man, honestly? i first started posting fic on a tumblr account whose password i have long since forgotten, like eight or nine years ago at this point. it was an rp blog for a very obscure tolkien elf, and i was lucky enough as a young teen to find people who were really kind and encouraging about my writing, both in rp and as little side-ficlets and whatnot! that's how i first got into actual writing at all. tiny ficlets prompted by rp stuff were the first things i ever posted at all - in fact, my first fic posted on ff.net way back when was just one of those lil tumblr rp ficlets i crossposted!

as for your conundrum, i def hear you :( insecurity and anxiety brain can be a HUGE bitch, and i know it's easy to tell yourself that numbers like comments and kudos don't matter, but it still feels really bad when you really want validation and you don't get any. (though i will say, it is true that the numbers don't matter! it's totally a game of luck. some of my favorites of my own fics don't have nearly as many kudos or comments as the ones i personally didn't even like as much/didn't put as much work into. it's not that those fics aren't as good; it's just that popularity is kind of a roulette wheel. it's easy to internalize it as being your fault if something doesn't fly, but it honestly really isn't in your control at all.)

but heres the thing! everyone starts somewhere. when i first started posting fics, i can promise you i was nowhere near as good as i am today! i didn't pay attention to sentence variation, i hardly ever used any imagery, my character voices were underdeveloped, etc etc etc. that doesn't mean that no one liked to see my post, or that i shouldn't have posted! it just means that i was a beginner. and so are you! there's no shame in being new at something. it just means you have a lot to learn, and there's nothing wrong with that at all! in fact i would say there's a lot of joy in discovering your voice and how you like to write. the fear of peoples expectations can weigh you down, but you should write for yourself first, not for others, or else you'll just burn out, you know?

as for what you'd have to tackle first: i could give you a bunch of technical mumbo jumbo if you wanted, but really i think it is about writing what you'd like to see! not in the way that you seem to mean here though (and forgive me if i misinterpreted! i don't mean to put words in your mouth). i first started writing just by describing little daydreams i had about the characters. first and foremost, your creation process should be fun for you!! if you enjoy writing something, your readers will be able to tell, and it adds to the piece. but more important than that is the fact that you'll have had fun creating something. finding what makes writing fun for you is, in my opinion, the most important place to start!!

#long post #SEE DONT WORRY ABOUT BEING LONGWINDED BC I AM TOO KDJHFKJDHS #writing advice with rimi #answers #anon

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matoitech · 3 years

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hello u dont have to answer this if u dont want, but ur situation with gender is scarily similar to where im at except im in the mindset that im nb wlw and dont rlly kno whats going on. I guess if u kno how to explain it, I wanted to ask how u made that jump or how u could tell it isnt just a "womanhood is like that" kind of thing and is actually "i am a guy"

oh man i wish i had smth that would make it Click for u easier cuz i def understand being rly confused abt this kinda thing.. i got a few Thoughts, idk if they will help u out but hopefully they give u some more thoughts to chew on that will maybe help anyway. this got so long oh hell sorry gbfhg

i think like the main thing as like a tip b4 we get in2 the Meat of it is it is good to relax and b open to thinking abt bein a guy as a possibility, i dont know if this will make sense bc i do not know how to explain it rly but when i was struggling 2 figure stuff out what i had rly needed 2 know was that being a dif gender can just feel like You (but as u become more comfortable w it, you but happier!) for some reason i thought u had to meet certain criteria to b ‘allowed’ to make what seemed 2 me at the time a Leap but thats not how it works lol. u as u r right now can b a guy if u want to or r considering it. u dont have to feel different and u dont have to think abt ur body a different way or anything. sry if this part doesnt make sense its difficult for me to verbalize lol

it was hard for me personally bc ppl would b like ‘if u Want to b a dif gender than b one’ but like i said in those last posts, for a long time i genuinely did not know i Wanted to be a guy/was a guy, or whatever. i had no conscious longing about it or anything, that came later once i was more comfortable w accepting it. i didnt have ‘i want to be a boy/am a boy’ moments i can rly consciously remember putting into those words as a kid, cuz i just did not care about gender on that level till i was a teenager. like i cannot stress this enough, ur life and feelings abt gender n whatever do not have to match up with what u have commonly heard the trans experience is about. once u figure stuff out and r more comfortable w urself u may look back and notice things that may b like that common trans experience, but remembering this stuff or having these childhood experiences or whatever in the first place is not a ‘requirement’. like i said, no requirements for bein a dif gender

for me like.. knowing it for sure... making the Jump as it were. like its kinda embarrassing but literally the way i Found Out was i was feeling all sorts of things whenever i watched promare and i just felt this INTENSE longing whenever i saw galo that i later realized was just me rly feeling the Gender w him and being envious of that.. it had happened w other chars b4 growing up, but i had never rly noticed to that extent till now. and one night i was thinking my usual ‘i wish i looked like galo i wish i could be a guy’ maybe for the first time in like a Conscious thought, when i had never rly heard it in words b4, and i kinda stopped and was like. what? i WHAT? and then it clicked and it was like a euphoric moment for me. easily top 5 best 2 ams of my life. it is kind of a hyperspecific experience but it is also not UNCOMMON rly lol

also figuring out my sexuality was intertwined in that bc i was iding as a butch nonbinary lesbian and i had tossed the idea of ‘maybe id b more comfortable as a man’ around a bit but the idea of being a straight man didnt feel right 2 me, but luckily i kind of made the connection of wait im a man and im attracted to men at like the exact same time, it had to b both at once for me personally to figure it out and b happy about it. idk if thats smth going thru ur head at all but it was for me and was part of my Journey i guess and may help to think abt it a bit lol

and while yes its absolutely about what makes u more comfortable at the end of the day, i think it wouldve helped for me to hear ppl say that just bc the idea of being a dif gender (in this case Man) might make u feel confused and maybe even uncomfortable rn, that doesnt necessarily mean u r not one if youve been struggling w this and wondering, it might just mean u havent had that clicky moment and r ready to rly think abt it yet. i have grown much more comfortable w myself over time as ive figured this stuff out and i am still open to figuring out more abt myself and i think thats a good place to b at! just b open to stuff like this that u maybe had never thought would have a positive effect on you or make you happier.

speaking from experience i think if ur confused and maybe even miserable telling urself that womanhood is just like that and u gotta suck it up and get used to feeling uncomfortable and bad, u dont have to live like that! im not saying that ‘oh im actually a guy’ is gonna b what everyone who is struggling w thats answer is cuz obviously thats not true- and im not saying how i just described it is even how u feel- but like. as someone who thought that same thing but less consciously. womanhood does not have to be a confusing sad experience, its not an inherently miserable experience, it is possible it just isnt for you and trying smth else might make u feel better. and that can b rly hard to figure out in the moment, cuz ur Used to feeling like this and even if youve heard it can b different it might b hard to have that ‘oh theyre talking to ME, it can be different for ME not just everyone else’ moment lol

also i dont know if this is relevant to u but im saying it in general 2 anyone who needs it i guess; being a man isnt a bad thing and it doesnt make u an inherently bad person, manhood and masculinity r not inherently or naturally toxic or something. thats a harmful mindset to have for multiple reasons and a whole nother post so im not gonna b like and now a word about transphobic red flags but like, worth mentioning that that can b harmful or dangerous to trans ppl, transmascs and transfems.

my god this got rly long... if anyone else has went thru a similar thing and has anything 2 add, feel free to :0 hope i somehow got around to answering ur question w all the rambling! i am just one guy and my experience may or may not b helpful to hear about, especially bc my memory is not the best lol <3 hope it helped at all tho!

#long post #NINE PARAGRAPHSSSS #fess replies #anon

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feraldavestrider · 5 years

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hey i don't usualy like sending these kind of messages but as someone who has beeing doing CBT, that post you reblogged is just... outright wrong? there are people in the notes who word it better than i could in an ask but op is basically describing CBT with other words, the treatment (when done well) should never make you ashamed or guilty of bad thoughts. the whole point of dealing with intrusive thoughts/impulses is accepting you have them and that doesn't define you. 1/2

OP might've had a bad experience but it's dangerous to say those things about CBT (like the relapse, without sources) when it's the only thing that works for many folk like me, and it might put them off to giving it a shot. sorry for the knejerk reaction to it, have a nice day. 2/2

ok first of all i know this isnt a funny thing but for a whole ass minute i fr thought these asks were about cock and ball torture HDSSKDFDJSKFHDSKJFHDSFKJ

so i do this thing on tumblr sometimes where i skim read posts and i dont like... process every part of a post? like i read it all but sometimes i just dont actuall. READ all of it and tbh i didnt even really read the cbt bit and frankly i know like... barely anything abt cbt, i have never and probably will never have therapy and i dont know that much abt various therapy methods. thats on me for reblogging a post w/o properly reading all of it/not knowing or caring abt what was actually the main point of it so my bad

i mostly reblogged the post bc of the last two paragraphs/opening paragraph which doesnt actually mention cbt:

Not being mean to yourself doesn’t mean censoring self-deprecating humor, it doesn’t mean snapping a rubber band on your wrist when you have a negative thought, it means taking time to sit down and think about yourself as if you were another person, to really take stock of who you are from as objective a perspective as you can muster, and if you really want to grow, realizing that this person you see can’t grow if the person closest to them, which is you, spends all their time berating them and making them feel like shit.

Being friends with yourself is not a series of therapeutic exercises, it’s challenging yourself to evaluate why you’re a dick to yourself in a way you aren’t to other people, or maybe you are a dick to other people, and maybe you want to be a dick to yourself, which is goofy as fuck, but if you’re still suffering, maybe ask yourself why the fuck you want to be such a dick, the answers may surprise you.

i dont have a problem w ppl using the rubber band (cause i know it helps for those recovering from self harm) or censoring self deprecating humour, but ive had people before act like bc i make self deprecating jokes or jokes abt killing myself that im not trying to recover. ive kind of jumped around on my opinion on this in regards to myself and others, and i used to fully think those things were just funny and that i didnt have to make an effort to try and get better in regards to my mental health, and then i embraced the idea that if u do things like make those jokes ur only hurting urself n that u hsould try not to say bad things abt urseld ever in order to heal.

ive tried that and it didnt work for me personally; for me, i can engage in occasional downtalk of myself, serious or joking, but it was more of a process of thinking and meditating on my reasons for my self hatred and suicidal thoughts, and then working on healing the causes for that shit rather than trying to just cut out the symptoms of my mental health issues. if u get me? and im doing a lot better now!

sorry i didnt mean to go on a rant abt my stuff, but yea so like... i dont really know much abt cbt and if it works for u, ur very valid like i think every one has their own ways which is best for them to overcome their personal issues. i hope u can see y i reblogged the post, those two last paragraphs do rlly speak to me on my view on my own issues but i didnt really read all of it dshfsfjdshfjdskhfdskfdhf

anyway ill delete my reblog, im v sorry and dw abt sending asks like this like... sometimes i just reblog bad stuff that i only partially read or im just stupid or smth so like! when ppl r nice abt it im always happy 2 get asks like this. enjoy ur day anon

#anon #answered #the void it speaks #i gope this makes sense a little #me: is a 'straight a' uni eng lit student #me: never writes a single coherent and concise thing on this blog ever #why is it every post i make on here is so poorly written HKFJDHFJKSHDFKJ

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theday · 6 years

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hide and seek, fireworks, my style, coloured, your love, dream might (romantic or platonic? i love options), i'll be there, because it's you ((((:, you smile, with you, and better with you!!!!

thank you so much for aksing falen i love these and it also got super long lmao rip

Hide & Seek: what’s the first thing you notice when you meet someone new?

in real life, its probably their shoes/socks?????? LMAO and then their appearance but im trying 2 not let their appearance stop me from becoming friends with them :-o

online, i usually??? read ppl’s abouts first???? but idk like when it comes to actually talking to them i guess itd be their typing style?? and their use of emojis/the gif function (jenny) helps me to assess them although i do know that the way they type =/= how they are as a person but thats just what i notice first

Fireworks: name something astro’s done that has made your heart explode

falen u rly had 2 do it to me? ????? but hrm…. whenever they post selcas and when they just laugh every time myungjun laughs thats the shit that gets me the most bc its so/???? pur??e??? i love them a lot theyre always so happie and theyre all smiles every time they do a vlive it makes me happie

My Style: what do you usually wear out?

clothes not 2 sound like a loner but. i rarely go outside bc i only go outside when my family eat out and thats only on like weekends and if im hanging out with pals so i always get the chance to wear the same shirt, shorts and shoes lmao

but its a black cat shirt (used to be a button up thing but singapore is 2 hot 4 me) and blue shorts and white converse

Coloured: favourite MV aesthetic?

ok real talk all of their mvs are so pretty and everything??? but my favourite has to be baby or csc

Your Love: top three astro songs

o w0rm

again

confession

every minute

Dream Night: describe a dream date with anyone

idk?? smth ive always wanted 2 do with anyone is just walk through a park or just walk when the weather is not 2 hot or 2 cold (ike what binuki did in their recent vlive)

if we’re getting more romantic mayb just??? cuddling???? idk i rly cant see this happening tbh

I’ll Be There: fave astro vlive you’d watch over and over again?

but theres so many :-( but possibly all of eunwoo’s just 10 minutes with binnie :-0 the shrek vlive with the ice cream made me laugh so hard though mmMM

Because It’s You: why do you love your astro bias?

ur rly gna make me do all 6 members falen??????? ill try 2 keep it short

myungjun; binnie said he was sure mj wouldnt make it into astro and im assuming its because he was the one who was a trainee the shortest but??? look at him now with his strong vocals and even stronger personality!!! astro mightve done fine without mj but listen.. their vlives, appearance on variety shows, etc. would never be able to be as funny because mj is the reason for everyones laughter and it makes me so happy??? mj has that ability to crack anybody up with his laugh and the shit he says and does is so funny too pleaseth and i just?? appreciate mj for being there so fucking much because he really resolves any tension in the atmosphere so easily and as the oldest member im so glad to see he doesnt find anything awkward AND despite the age gap between him and sanha, theyre like the closest?? lets not forget on that one radio thing yesterday they (astro) were asked who they were most comfy with in the dorm and 3/5 answered myungjun :_) im just happy myungjun exists? thank u mj i love u mister 777

PARK JINWOO; jinjin is the one of the sweetest leaders out there and i know every group has a great leader but jinjin is really that leader to me because as the rest of astro have mentioned before, jinwoo really buys them shit and they have said that he is the sweetest?? remember in the fan made fanmeeting i dont know what its called but i linked it and just??? jinjin is literally an angel!!! the one vlive he did with dogs? my heart melted off!!!!!! he really went and learnt the names of all the dogs present in the dog cafe!!!! he stopped the black dog which was biting hard on the table bc he was scared it’d injure itself/get in trouble and just??? jinwoo is so fucking nice just ??? if u look in the dictionary park jinwoo will appear as a synonym believe me ok and jinjin is part of dance line everybody lets not forget that he dances to release stress and that amaizng intro to again he did with rocky for their dream pt2 showcase because that was fucking so ?? i love talent and! AND i will never shut up but as a leader jinwoo takes care of his members so much and he also knows how to have fun with them and he jsut!!!!! i love him a lot

cha! eu! nwoo! (dongmin); i know 4 a fact that this will get so long lmao rip but first i just wanted to say that i am so proud of dongmin and how far he has come as a dancer and vocalist in astro ok so obviously i dont know the real hard facts tm and i can never tell the difference in anything so i dont know how accurate i really am but last year (and even now) i know eunwoo had a lot of personal schedules and he barely had time to practice? ?? i really dont know but im p sure that was it???? idk but dongmin has had to work so hard the whole of last year with the amount of comebacks astro did and i jus??? im so proud of eunwoo for being able to work hard for astro and still attend all those other schedules at the same time??? like i said idk how much time he did have/didnt have but i know it mustve been little with how late it would be whenever he arrived back at the dorm after his stuff and??? eunwoo had to practice his lines and the dance (astro’s choreography looks hard as shit and its tiring too) in time for their comeback promotions ??? and!! dongmin used to be that member (now its all of astro) who would constantly do vlives for arohas and lets not forget his just one 10 minutes where he would do vlives that were always over 10 minutes where he just talks to fans im eternally grateful for all the work dongmin puts in for astro and arohas and im sure he puts in more than 100% effort when it comes to his personal schedules too!!!! dongmin deserves the best and ive seen someone say b4 that he’d probably feel bad if he had more lines bc he was already “stealing” the spotlight by being a “face genius” and i just!! youre righ??t???? eunwoo is incredibly selfless and its easy 2 assume these kinda things tbh lee dongmin is so much more than his face and visuals he is a hardworker and!!! he loves his members and fans so damn much im !!! i love eunwoo so much i hope he knows how much we love him

binnie; god with bin there isnt somethiing that made me love him??? all he did was go :) and my brain decided i was gonna love him forever ok but……hrm….. i guess i love him because hes such a dork?? like. .. when he laughs he just snorts and its so funny lmao i believe bin’s a good friend too well no shit ?? uMMm moon bin has a cute smile yall…… whenever he smiles my heart explodes hes just that powerful and also!!! bin has been a trainee for 7 years now and im just !! he made it!! like what the post i reblogged earlier said, he probably had other dreams but he still stuck with being an idol ??? in the end and that !!! im sad he didnt get to pursue the things he couldve liked better but im also happy hes managed to find a dream he likes and that hes basically living the dream right now??? and im so happy for him because 7 years may not be a lot to some but bin’s still young his childhood was basically training??? im just!!!!!!!!!!! so proud of him and now hes on the same kind of music shows his faves are on too nd it makes me rly proud (idk any other words my vocabulary is so fucking weak oh my god) he is having the time of his life with astro and arohas right now im so glad i forgot what i wanted 2 say im sorry bin i did u dirty im2 tense rn but i love u and i love bin bc of how much hes done and the amt of scarifies he has 2 have made in order 2 get 2 where he is tdy

rocky swag (minhyuk); minhyuk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love him because !! hes so awkward but he tries his best for arohas!!!!!!!!!! in that first vlive he did alone he was so nervous but he managed to warm up and in the next vlive he did alone he did something that he was comfortable with (dance) and im glad he’s able to do vlives normally now even if there isnt any recent solo vlives i can see how much more comfortable he is on vlive now !!!!!! my love for minhyuk is similar to bin’s bc all he did was smile and suddenly????? im in love???? its the swag lmao but seriousy tho after finding out rocky did all sorts of dance i found him really??? respectable??? because he was able to learn so many types of dance and isnt that the coolest thing ever???? lets not forget how well he can sing???? im happy and so proud (jesus) that he sang on the recent album since previously he said that he didnt hvae any plans of singing in the albums so!!!! now!! hes singing!!!!!!!!!!! although the songs dont do him justice tbh its ok we all know how lovely he sounds when he sings especially in the binuki vlive where he sang wyls i swer my ear drums were blessed?? park minhyuk can do anything get urself a legend like rocky so basiclaly i love rocky aka park minhyuk bc hes just!!!!! outstanding???? hes handsome, he can dance really fucking well, he can sing and rap !!!!!!!!!!!!! and?? hes just a fool??? he’s warming up to doing vlives and just being himself and its the greatest thing ever i love him a lot

sanha; YOON SANHA!!!!!!!!! Love of my LIFE the baby i will protect for the rest of my LIFe??????? he is DAT boi .. the boy i love so much with my whole heart!! sanha is so cute and he just!! hes always making fun and bullying the older members i love it so much but ofc everyones weak 4 sanha bc b*tch is 2 cute honestly can relate if sanha punched or stole my money ill let him off bc hes just that cute . lets not forget he learnt how 2 play the guitar all by himslef jae is shaking ok and sanha is such a nice voice?????? every time he screams i lose my hearing its ok id do anything 4 this boy???? and to think hes only (1) year older than me is kinda??? wowie???? sanha is rly out here being a superstar and a student @ the same time and hes doing an awesome job @ being amazing !!! sanha is so cute and just?????? he loves his other members and family so much i love sanha a lot and i hope nobody will ever make him cry (sad tears) bc i will personally go to that person and we’ll have a nice chat :-) i cant think of anything atm but sh loves arohas so much and hes always doing aegyo 4 us idk its just . … thakn u young prince

You Smile: name three things that have made you smile in the past week

ok easy

mx comeback

daily astro vlives (its okay if they dont do vlives everyday they have 2 rESt)

becoming friends with lovely mbbs :_)

with you: talk about a mutual without using their name

how long is this answer gonna be oh w0rm.. but here we go this is abt someone who ive never talked about but do talk 2 p often and theyre the other online person i am most comfortable with talking 2!!!!!

theyre great tbh and rly good @ art and i know theyve gone through so many shit things in their life but im so glad theyre still hanging on even if their sleep schedule is totally wack still love u tho lmao at least theyre getting more than enough sleep!! theyre cute when they see sanha and it makes me soft seeing them go soft bc theyre never that warm??? when it comes 2 other ppl (kihyun crying) and im just so glad i managed to help them get (further) into astro!! being able to talk to somebody about astro has helped me so much and then i became friends with jen but im still so thankful to have a friend like [redacted] and im happy we’re friends!!!!!!!! i love them so much and i hope their days are filled with happiness even if it doesnt last for long i hope they have at least (1) happy time each day bc they deserve the BEST!!!!!!!!!!!

even when i was still a young myday they helped me by providing links and everything just telling me where everything was and i was so :_) bc!!! they !! a bigger account was helping me someone who didnt even have 20 followers at that time and without them i wouldve never found anything tbh!!! even now when im the one whos been into astro longer, they still manage to find things so much faster than me and imlike?????? wow thats amaizng???? theyre amazing and i appreciate their presence on my tl/dash and in my dms so much thats one of the reasons why i thought they were older bc of how mature and just?? the older vibe they gave off was strong with they way they help people and whenever they comment on my tweets or someone else’s tweets im like !!!!!!!!! you’re doing amazing sweetie

theyre so easy to talk to and even though our humor was something i thought was very different we manage to make each other laugh so much and i jsut!!! happiness!!!!!!!

ok this was abt bell and i dnt think they’ll ever see this but if u do i love u a lot bell thank u for being alive ur so funnie and cute just thank u so mch!!! for everything

better with you: your favourite memory related to astro?

every time i watch them on vlive live i get so happy and thats my favourite memory

#once again if u read all of these thank u so much have a lovely day!!!!!#softshouyous #asks

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