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nightswithkookmin · 3 years

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What you think of fetus V who said in front of everyone "You seem to really like men" to Jimin? Youthful ribbing? Or a moment of insensitivity ? FWI saying you like girls or guys? Or calling close same sex friends u a couple? is actually common where am from. This has happened in my friend circle too actually. Except all of us are hets so no one take it seriously. Cant think a closeted person would find it that funny. Jimins lack of denial or even laughing it off always stood out to me tho.

What do I think of that comment?

I think we both know very often when people say they think a man likes men, they mean to say they think that man is Gay and very often when the g-word is used in a sentence, it is not meant as a compliment- imma give it to you straight, no bs. Lol.

The parlance gay and variations of it, in my opinion, is often used ubiquitously and traditionally as a slur slang among ignorant, non-progressive, anti homosexual individuals and is often rooted in malice.

And when malice isn't intended, ridicule is. The sad fact is, people adopt the terminology as ammunition to blatantly attack, dehumanize, belittle and strip away the dignity of queer folks and when the term is used in reference to non queer people it has a similar effect. It degrades them as well through the irony and humor of comparing them to gay people.

Gay jokes, if you will, is a subtle art of passive aggressively slurring gay folks if you think about it. I mean let's be honest.

Personally, I don't think Tae's intentions in that moment were malicious at all. I don't think he blurted out those words with the intension to ridicule Jimin either- stay with me. It will make sense in a bit.

But he called Jimin gay nevertheless. His comment if a joke, I'm afraid, reinforces these bizzare stereotypes of masculinity and promotes toxic rhetorics prevalent especially within Kpop shipping communities where every Male idol interaction is hyper sexualised and romanticized thus, suggesting a man cannot love another man, be affectionate or be fond of them unless they secretly lusted after them and harbored a desire to lay down pipes in their behinds- which, honestly is crazy coming from a guy with a cultural background such as the Korean culture where kinship is commonplace but more on that later.

I think whatever which way we want to look at it, it was an insensitive comment especially if you believe he meant it as a joke. It was definitely not his most woke moment, socially and culturally- and that's putting it lightly.

That 'gay' comment to me is right up there with all the problematic statements some, if not all, of the members have made over the years- the colorism, racist jokes, the ' eww, you too black,' 'akekeke- you too tanned shoo,' implying if you're black or tanned you are ugly. The fat jokes, the misogyny and misogynior- please don't ask me to give you examples of these. I don't want to ruin BTS for you. Lol.

There are commentaries on these out there on the internet. You can look it up for yourselves- You welcome. Lol.

For the record, BTS have since retracted, acknowledged and apologized for most of these questionable moments throughout the years and so we cannot hold it against them, forever- not to make excuses for them but they are human too. They learn, they unlearn, they make mistakes, they correct them, they grow and as NamJoon said, they really were a bit 'unsophisticated' and rough around the edges in their earlier years- even if it was just five years ago from now, chilee. They is a mess. Lmho.

I think it's all part of the human process honestly- don't worry BTS, I have a lot of space in my heart for y'all to be human and still love ya. Keep going sweeties. Y'all's doing greatness de la grande kind!! Bless y'all.

In V's case he was, since that incident, put as a judge on a show that allegedly featured queer folks and he seemed more welcoming of them than the other judges on the panel, excluding RM of course.

A year later, he would make a song that the LBGTQ plus fraction of Army would rally behind as a highly pro gay song- Stigma, which I find debatable but whatever. I mean, just because JK has stars, clouds and the sky in his lyrics don't make him an astronaut or an environmentalist fighting the good cause for the climate but to each his own.

Stigma was still something, I'll give him that.

Flashforward to five years later, and he would be recommending songs by gay artists, appreciating and promoting gay art and the artists behind them, sporting rainbow outfits, designing a BT21 character that is genderless, incorporating sign language in his speeches- he polished up. Woke the hell up. Politically correct. Yadda yadda yadda.

I think, like some of the others, he too learned his lesson. It's not ok to trivialize the oppression of others or make light of it-

Now that we've gotten the woke bit out of the way, on to our shipping business. Follow me, chop chop. Lol.

Firt of all, I don't think that moment is a big deal. But I find it interesting nonetheless.

Do I think Tae was teasing Jimin in that moment when he made that statement? It's not quite easy as yes or no.

Personally, I think he was clocking him.

This interview was conducted at a point in the timeline where I feel Jimin was shedding his image as the Maknae obsessed hyung in the group. He was coming into his own and embracing himself for who he is and that I think included his sexuality.

Prior to, he had in my opinion, since debut, slipped into the role of the queer jest of the group supplying queer humor and entertainment for listeners at radio shows by offering himself up for ridicule as the 'gay guy' within the group- I hated every bit of it. Lol.

You'd often hear the members refer to him as the one good with the guys, the boy in love with the Maknae- There is still a fraction of Army that see him as this persona but he has since outgrown that label and that phase.

RM was basically the Black jest of the group, offering himself up for ridicule for his darker skin tone right down to his blaccent. Can you do your black accent? They will ask him at interviews and he would proceed to deliver a walmart version of the Black American English. Sigh.

Compared to the previous year where he literally gasped and panicked when the members hinted at his sexuality or made statements that put his sexuality into question, Jimin seemed more in control and mentally prepared during this interview.

When the question was asked of him, the question of why he liked JK, his instincts it seemed was to steer the conversation away from his sexuality- a tactic the rest of the members would employ to avoid discussing Jikook a few months from that interview...

I mean, when Tae asked Jimin on JK's birthday that same year what he wanted to give JK, RM cut in before JM answered. Jimin had done the same thing when in an interview JK was asked if Jimin wasn't his style and JK was stuttering not knowing what to say in response. JM asked him not to answer the question.

When interviewers ask these questions, they do so for entertainment purposes- because who doesn't like gay jokes, amirite?

For heterosexual idols I assume it's not slippery slope for them to engage in these kinds of humor. They can play gay without risking exposing their heterosexuality and when they do play gay it's for jest.

It's not the same for queer idols I think.

Jimin was basically done being the butt of the gay jokes in 2015, he was done selling himself as the JK shit rainbows and I'm the unicorn fixated on him kinda person and it reflected in that conversation.

'I don't like everything about this boy. He ain't all that. But he is the Maknae and he cute so whatever' lol.

Like I said, I think Jimin was steering the conversation away from his sexuality but Tae's comment steered the conversation right back to it. 'I just think he likes men.'

Most South Koreans I've met in person and on the internet spend a considerable amount of time and energy trying to dispel the western notion of gayness projected on to Korean men for their skinship culture.

We like to glamorize gayness in these streets but in reality gay is stigmatized especially in places like South Korea. People don't readily read gay in Male interactions unless they were being homophobic or socially unaware.

To me, Tae's statement was more of an observation about Jimin, one which he felt a need to contribute to the discussion they were having, perhaps to provide insight into the inner workings of Jimin rather than as a joke or jest- or may be he did both.

Jimin managed to avoid opening himself up for the gay jokes and to this Tae then responded, I just think you is gay sir- The emphasis has been mine. Lol.

The thing about Tae is, in the earlier days he used to have a habit of 'exposing' Jimin whenever Jimin told half truths and what not.

For example, in 2014 during an interview when JM was asked what he wanted to do on his free days he had said he wanted to spend time with his family or something and Tae immediately checked him saying he was lying. Jimin then said he wanted to be with Jungkook which had JK fuming.

Was he teasing JM when he called him out for lying about his true desires? May be but I think he meant it too. Know what I mean?

He did the same thing when during their Paris VLive, Jimin got nervous when JK was singing 'know you love me boy, so that I love you,' in the background and Tae asked Jimin if he was nervous. Jimin snapped out of whatever whipped trance he was in and asked 'why would I be nervous' or something along those lines.

Why would Tae assume JM was nervous listening to another man sing? And why would Jimin be nervous in the first place?

And if at an interview Jimin is asked, why don't you like listening to the Maknae sing and JM responded that he is cute but he can't sing and Tae says well I think listening to Jk sing makes him nervous- would that be youthful ribbing or tea? Do you see where I'm going with this?

I see Tae as very observant- If not more observant than Jk. Their jokes are punchier because it is rooted in truth. He is stating his opinion, his observations and when he felt JM's answers were dishonest or inconsistent of his general notion of him, he called him out on that.

It's like him saying JM likes to pretend to be drunk in order to tell Tae he loves him- allegedly. Was it funny, yes. Was it a lie? I don't think so.

Jimin likes to pretend, we been knew. His boyfriend don spilled that tea already. I mean Jk said JM faked being asleep when he noticed the cameras filming him. He said also JM knows he is cute so sometimes he intentionally acts cute.

Tae used to tease Jimin a lot- hell he still teases him a lot to this day. Lol. Had Jimin looking at the back of his head like he wanted to quick punch him in the throat in the recent run, chilee. Lmho.

But you gotta ask, where is the lie in all those jokes?

The question I ask myself, and I think we ought to ask ourselves as shippers is, what about Jimin gave Tae that impression of him in the first place?

What made Tae, coming from a culture and background where 'gay' is a taboo and skinship is prevalent assume that if Jimin liked JK then it was because he liked men or was gay?

Even if Tae meant it as a Joke- no one laughed. Lol. That awkward silence that ensued... now that's how you know he had deadass made a 'gay comment' for real. Lmho.

They were all silent, waiting for JM's response and only laughed when JM responded to Tae- isn't that how it usually goes when you are the one queer person at the het dinner table? The tasteless jokes, awkward silences and stares? Just me? Oh, never mind then. Keep reading. Lol.

Imagine if JM hadn't responded or had gay panicked like he did a year before that interview, when RM revealed JK had been sneaking into JM's bed at night?

Dude was legit ready to throw JK under the bus had it not been for the shady camera guy behind the cameras. Deadass, Jimin was pointing accusing fingers at JK and everything- so much for gay love. Lmho.

The question still remains, what makes you look at your heterosexual friend and go- hey, that's gay. Think about it.

If Tae thought Jimin liked men, even as a joke, it's probably because Jimin had been giving him a reason or reasons to believe he actually liked boys beyond the usual daily doze of gay prevalent within K-culture.

It's similar to JK feeling uncomfortable when Jimin in 2014 described their relationship as one between love and friendship. Jimin responding with male friends can love eachother too without being gay would imply JK was interpreting his words and actions towards him as laced with romantic and sexual subtext or intent.

Now why would JK assume this if men touching men and feeling up on eachother in their culture was a normal thing?

There are gay men in Korea you know?

Tae and Kook were both hyper aware and curious of Jimin's sexuality in that period- for different reasons of course. In my opinion.

Not sure if Jimin's androgynous features played a role in these suspicions and assumptions they had of him in the early days because androgynousity in men is often ignorantly profiled and stereotyped as queer.

Tae seemed convinced JM was queer at least and JK was projecting his own queerness on to Jimin a lot- cough, cough.

It seemed to me also that Tae for whatever reason had the impression JM had a thing for him? I'll save my VMin agenda for delulu Fridays but chilee I don't know, Jimin has been on an agenda to friendzone that man since those manly mans thawed off his chest. Lol.

VMIN... ok.

I mean Jimin's response to Tae was more to deflate Tae's ego than to deflect or evade the issue and I wonder why. 'You are so full of yourself' 'I may like men, but I don't like you' and Tae responds with 'really' as if he's been challenged or dared- ever had your straight friends assume you like them just because you are queer?

Anywho, for whatever reason, Jimin seemed to be the only member in the group around the early days whose words and actions were put through the queer litmus test.

Also, I think a distinction ought to be made between calling two same sex friends a couple and calling them gay.

Calling two friends a couple is inconsequential- except when their sexuality is on the line. Calling two same sex friends you know are straight a couple is nothing but a gay joke.

BTS do this all the time. Jimin called Namjin a couple, Tae kook a couple, himself and Suga a couple, himself and JK a couple.

Jk has equally referred to others within the group as a couple, made heart signs above them, and have even held his chest and said he never thought he would fall for a guy.

In none of these instances did he or any of them imply that they or the persons they were referring to were queer or liked men and I wouldn't make much of such comments.

When JK was called out for gifting a present to Jimin and not the others, Tae teased JK as well and his gestures implied to me, 'it's ok to like him, I know you like him, you like JM don't you, uWu' and other variations of these.

But he in no way hinted at the sexuality of JK explicitly or implicitly- not in a way that prompts a response or rebuttal from JK like it did in Jimin's case.

I guess what I'm saying is that, that moment is nothing but something at the same time. You look at Tae's personality and his reputation within the group as the one with no filter who blurts out things that often has BTS running helter skelter- that 'I want to see your children" comment at Festa almost gave RM an aneurysm. Lmho.

Then they had to literally take his mic away from him when he started talking about meeting a pretty chick or something at a fansigns.

You consider the history between him and Jimin, the context behind that comment and the things that was said after that comment- the interviewer said 'well JK is really handsome...' which means he took the 'joke' Tae had made to mean JM had romantic interest in JK- something I feel JM was trying to avoid.

I don't think Tae meant anything by it. I don't think he knew at the time JM was queer but I do believe he suspected he was.

Hope this helps,

Signed,

GOLDY

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closer-stars · 3 years

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Gut Feeling (3)

Member: San Genre: Comfort, Fluff, some Angst Word Count: 9.5k Requested: Yes Content: Part 3 of Gut Feeling/San x Manager!Reader series ayooo. Roughly around Inception/Immortal Songs time period. Food mention. References to some of the stuff they’ve written for the fans also are in this lol. Reader comforts San also in this. The fun kinda starts here. Note: pls this was tricky to write and edit... lmao, gotta juggle manager work with relationships amirite. Anyways, I hope this is okay cause this was... A Field Day. Not much else to say except hahaha Flashes a Peace Sign. I’ve proofread this a couple of times, and to just specify again, I’m trying to keep this gender neutral, so if there’s a slip up of gender specific traits and the like, please do tell me. Ty to @hwaberrykiwi , @yeocult and @yeochikin for dealing with my brain farts and questions as I wrote this. ilysm

Part 1, Part 2

It’s been hectic for everyone in the company. Everyone’s been almost up to their necks preparing for the comeback. Various deals to be made for various photoshoots; it was a miracle that some brands have invited the boys for their magazines rather than the other way around. Despite their lengthy hiatus, it seemed their popularity only continued to grow. It wasn’t a bad thing (at least they managed to catch up on rest), the pressure to make sure they make up for what was lost is there and perhaps an added burden.

Everyone’s been working harder to make sure their performances for their promotional period were good, if not better than how they did in the past. You haven’t been running on your usual hours of sleep-- save for a few power naps here and there, having to bring the boys back and forth from the company to stylists to the dorm to recordings and so on. You can only assume that it’ll get wilder once promotions do start. Yet, the gradual climb of their activities is met with mixed feelings: relief to be back on stage, worry for everyone’s health, pressure to meet not only the standards of the public but also theirs.

So now, San’s overthinking once more, getting caught up in his insecurities. The closer their comeback is, the later he stays. While he always does stay in the studio up until he can barely dance properly, the past few weeks have been harsh on him. You’ve only been with this group for a few months but you can already read him. He’s always been the type to wear his heart on his sleeve. He’s also the type to find himself being his own competition. He’s focusing on his shortcomings as a dancer, frustrated that there were certain parts that he couldn’t do properly. You’re in the studio with him again. With the amount of times you’ve done this, you’ve eventually blocked off parts of your schedule for him. The rest of the boys have gone home at this point, catching up on rest to prepare for the next day.

You sit back, taking small sips of your iced green tea as you watch helplessly as San goes through the same counts, never quite getting it the way he wants to. “San..” you call softly.

“Just give me thirty minutes.” This is the sixth time he’s said it. He hears your heavy sigh and he looks at you, brows furrowed, still too engrossed by the demons in his head. “What?” He rasps out. It’s a miracle you could hear each other over the music but you do. With his question, you beckon him over. He sighs, stopping the music before standing in front of you. You pat the seat next to you. He doesn’t fight back and drops himself next to you. “What?” he repeats himself.

“You’re getting in your head again.”

Your words catch him off guard but he tries to scoff at it. A feeble attempt to brush off your words. Was he that easy to read?

“San, I’m serious. In the time I’ve worked with you, I know when you’re getting into your head.” You say it clearer this time. “Talk to me.” You say though it sounds more like a plea. He’s a stubborn one. You readjust yourself to face him, your drink now in between your legs as you reach for his water bottle. “Maybe not as your manager but as your friend.” You just wanted to help him, as much as his stamina is better than anyone you know, he’s still human.

San’s head rests against the white wall, the cold feeling of the wall cooling down how hot his head has become from constant exertion. He can still feel the muscle soreness from his workout from two days ago. “There’s so much on my mind.” He murmurs, gnawing slightly at the rim of his water bottle in thought.

“We got time.” You return softly.

He doesn’t know what to say. It’s not an everyday thing that he talks of his worries. He’s been the type to carry the burden of others but rare were the times he lets others carry his burdens. He lets your words sink in first as he tries to figure out with thought to speak out about first. He takes small sips to gather enough words to sound cohesive despite the incohesive thoughts. He sets his bottle down and that’s when he starts talking. He’s not happy with how he’s dancing lately. He sees how better Yunho is compared to him, how quick he gets the choreography. While San does know how to help others, asking for help for himself is another thing in itself.One way or another, he figures it out on his own. A blessing and a curse it was to be this independent. “...There’s so much I lack in, I don’t think I’ll live up to their expectations too.” His eyes are closed the entire time he speaks, not wanting you to see that he’s near tears. It’s one part pride, one part insecurity, one part pressure, and a whole lot of perfectionism. The fact he manages to talk about it is a step out of it but the struggle to get through it is another thing.

It pains you to see him like this. No matter how much he improves, he still sees where he lacks. It’s normal but to see him have his insecurities eat at him hurts you. “San, look at me.” You urge softly. He doesn’t move but you notice that his breathing has slowed down. You do know he’s still awake so you tilt his head to make him look at you. “Look at me, open your eyes, San.” It’s the gravity in your words and tone that makes him follow your order. He sees his reflection in your eyes and for a moment, he’s stunned. The distance, or lack thereof, is disorienting him. He’s never seen you this intense-- well he has, but not like this, this protective that he can’t get himself to move or look away. He could easily shake your hold off or look at a corner but he can’t.

Goddamn, what is going on?

“San, you’re amazing out there. Everyday, you improve. Everyday, you take everyone’s breath away with how much you put yourself into your performances. The performer I saw months back has improved to become the performer he is now. But San, you’re still a human at the end of the day. It’s okay to go at your own pace. ” Your words make his chest tight. Those were the same words he tells his members and his fans. He knows the turmoil of putting yourself up in a competition where you’re the only player yet he always does it even if it hurts him. But the feeling of having someone say it back to him, it feels different. It’s words he needed to hear not from him, but from someone else. To hear it from you washes over him in mind numbing comfort. “It doesn’t matter if Yunho gets it before you do, or if you don’t do it perfectly in the first try.” You continue, the pad of your thumb wiping away the tears that have fallen from his eyes. “What matters is you’re improving. San, you’re still human. It’s okay.” You’ve heard the stories of how they started as trainees over meals you’ve shared with them. From one trainee who couldn’t dance properly to being the idol that others look up to for their passion in dancing. He’s become the standard from what you were observing.

Your words make him rest his forehead against your shoulder. In other circumstances, you would’ve made a face at the feeling of sweat seeping onto your shirt. For now, you hold him, rubbing his back gently as he quietly cries out his frustrations. There were things he wished he could share these concerns with Seonghwa but he couldn’t. He never could. Yet, here he is, showing his vulnerability to you. Someone who he has only known for a few months. Someone who he has become vulnerable around. Even in his blubbering incoherent mess of thoughts, you somehow manage to be on the same page as him, bringing him back to reality, bringing him the clarity he needs.

It takes a while before his sniffles even into breathing. You tilt your head to check on him and he pulls away when he feels you shift. “I’m sorry.” he mumbles, wiping his tears away.

You shake your head, turning down his apology. Your eyes shine gently at him as you study him carefully. Damn, even your eyes feel a little hot. His shoulders aren’t as heavy as they were earlier. His hands reaching up to rub at his eyes. It wouldn’t be long now before exhaustion takes him under to slumber. “Let’s go home, you deserve the rest.”

“Can we get something to eat first…” He asks, just in time for his stomach to growl in agreement.

“7/11?”

He nods, his bottom lip jutting out slightly.

“Get some comfort food, I’ll pay for it this time.”

--------

The ride back is relaxed this time, well as relaxed it could be when San’s in a better mood. San sings at the top of his lungs to the songs that play on the radio. It’s tricky to keep yourself serious on the road when he’s being this carefree. It comes to the point where even you sing along with him, though softly. A small voice in your head sulks at how this is short lived. By the time you reach the apartment complex, it’s back to reality. It’s back to being their manager. Somehow you wondered if in another life, would the two of you meet as well? Would the two of you get along still? You shake the thoughts away quickly, mentally reminding yourself to focus.

“Something on your mind?”

You wonder if you’re just as easy to read as he is to you. “Mm?” You glance at the stop light then turn your gaze to him. The question takes a moment to register then you reassure him. “Ah, it’s nothing.” He doesn’t get the chance to press when the red shifts to green, pushing you to start driving again.

It was quiet for the rest of the trip, until you arrived at the parking lot again. Once you switch the engine off, he lets out a groan of relief. The sweet embrace of sleep is so close, if only he could just be in bed with a snap of his fingers but alas, this world is dependent on machinery. The two of you hop off the car and head to the elevator.

You press his floor number and he waits for the second button to be pushed but it never happens. The doors of the elevator close already and is already bringing the two of you to his floor. “Wait, but--”

You cut him off. “You need your sleep first so I’m dropping you off first.” You glance at him under the cold lighting of the elevator. “Even your eyes look tired already, Sannie.” He catches his reflection on the elevator’s reflective surface and you’re right. His eyes are puffy, his eyelids are heavy and he makes a face at how he looks. You glance at your watered down green tea then at his hands. “Are your hands cold?” You ask him.

The odd question catches him off guard and instead of feeling them, he wraps his hands on your cheeks. “What do you think?” The sharp contrast in temperatures causes you to yelp, swatting his hands away.

“I was gonna tell you to press your cold fingers to the puffy areas!” You complain, trying to stay far from his reach.

It takes a moment for realization to set in his eyes. “Oh my god, you called me Sannie!” He squeals, elated to know that your relationship has gotten to the point where you call him a nickname. A common nickname but he loves it coming from you. You laugh behind your cup and the fun is cut short with the doors opening.

You keep the doors open for him. “Come on, Sannie.” You repeat just for him. “Get your rest. Manager Bae will be bringing you guys to the company and your schedules tomorrow.” You inform him, still smiling at how happy he looks now.

“What about you?”

“Paperwork plus bringing the rest of the staff to check out the places for your music videos.” You coo at the sight of his pout. “I’ll bring you guys home if I get back early, I promise.”

“Ah before I forget..” you rummage through your bag and pull out his hoodie. “Here.” You state as you hand it back to him. The look on his face makes you a little defensive. “I promise, I washed your hoodie before returning it.” Your words make him chuckle and he puts it in his bag.

“I wasn’t saying anything, but thank you.” He teases but then extends his pinky out as he steps out, bringing it back to the topic at hand. His free arm blocking the doors from closing in on the two of you. You don’t bat an eyelash as the child-like reassurance, you link your pinky with his, sealed with your thumbs pressed against each other.

“Now shoo! Sleep well, Sannie.” You say, pressing your floor number this time, as the two of you smile at each other until the doors completely cover the other.

--------

Everything's moving so fast. For every music show that had to be cancelled, two more guest appearances take over. You were ready for the constant moving being a manager entails but not to this extent. After this performance, you had to bring them to their next radio appearance. At least there was an allowance time to bring them back to the company then to the radio appearance. You were a little relieved though, since the talk with San, he’s been able to perform with a clearer head. You watch each member perform and you need multiple runs to watch each and everyone of them. They always had little tricks in their sleeves that more often than not, you weren’t sure which ones they would do until the day of. While you know that they wouldn’t cry in the middle of a performance, a small part of you was alarmed at how believable they looked.

The results of their hard work were evident, various news sites have been tracking their growth, and before they knew it, they’ve sold over a million albums, their songs are charting upon release. They’ve improved immensely and it was getting tricky to not let yourself go “I told you so.” to San who months earlier was in his head, doubting everything. Hell you remember even having to talk to Hongjoong on the ride home over his fears for his members and himself.

The stylists had their phones out recording the announcement. As much as you want to do the same, you found yourself fiddling with your sleeves, nervous as well. They always take their loses gracefully as said by the managers but still you worry. As intense as they were with their work, they can be intense with their emotions too. Once it was announced that ATEEZ is indeed taking home the trophy for Inception, everyone screams. You let out the breath you were holding the entire time in relief, and you feel pride swell in your chest. Everyone celebrates in the dressing room over their first win. You could see how the group is doing their best to keep their cool in front of the cameras but you can already expect the amount of excited screams and jumps from them. Manager Bae and some of the stylists had gone out to quickly get them cake to celebrate when they return. “Stay here so that they won’t notice anything off.” Bae goes with a grin. He looked like a proud hyung for the boys, still giddy over the win. You quickly push him off to buy the cake, losing precious time.

You watch them on TV, singing to their song as they bounce about on stage. They’ve thanked everyone as they dance about. You see Manager Bae with another stylist lighting the cake in the back of the room and you sigh in relief. At least they got back in time for the credits to roll on the TV, evidently cutting short the encore stage. Yet, you know those boys would take a while before they’re back in the dressing room with everyone. “You got back fast..” You say softly, making sure the candle doesn’t get blown off from any external factors.

“We asked to have the cake packed already, Minhee paid for it and made me go ahead.”

“We have to pay her back then.”

“Hey don’t worry too much, she used the company card.” That shuts you up. ATEEZ’s excited yelling elicits a surprised yelp upon their entrance. They yell louder at the sight of the cake and this time you bring out your phone to capture the moment of celebration. It takes a while for them to settle down, taking selfies with their trophy along with a group shot to thank the fans for their hard work. The cake is back in its packaging, Seonghwa bouncing on the balls of his feet while he has the cake in his hands.

“Aah, Hyung be careful! What if the cake gets destroyed?” San complains lightheartedly to which Seonghwa sulks for a moment.

“What are you talking about?” The older returns, hints of his accent slipping out in his defense. “The cake’s secure inside, right Manager-nim?” He continues, looking at you to back him up.

The way he looks at you really makes you wonder how he was the eldest sometimes but you decide to play along. “It’s safe and sound in there, Ddeonghwa but still, be careful!” You return, patting the top of his head, or at least whatever you could reach as you busy yourself with packing everything up.

“Manager-nim! We did great on stage didn’t we?” San asks from behind you, wanting a head pat or some praise from you as well. To his luck, you had to be called to help out in carrying some make up bags out of the room as the stylist’s hands were already full. He deflates for a moment as you rush about, leaving him in the dust with his members.

“You’re getting obvious.” Seonghwa muses as he pats the younger’s head with his free hand.

His words fluster him, his bottom lip jutting out once more. “What are you talking about..” He mutters through a pout. He just wanted praise, is that so bad?

His defense makes the older chuckle. “Sure. Let’s get ready to leave, we still have a radio appearance tonight. Our managers are gonna wait for us by the parking lot.”

--------

As the promotion season progresses, you don’t keep track of the days anymore. You just keep track by the agenda for the day and for the following day, you’re just waiting for the promotions to end at this point. You’re getting sleep but it’s not enough, just to get by and still function. You’re still getting the basic necessities of a human being but you hate to admit that you need more to feel a little more awake.

San notices your lack of energy as they wait for their call time for their next TV appearance so while the other members busy themselves with a few games. He sees you dozing off again, leaning against the wall as you keep yourself warm with your own jacket this time. He doesn’t ask if you’re doing okay, your eyebags and tensed muscles tell him enough. He sits next to you as you try to find a comfortable position to catch up on rest. “You can lean on my shoulder.” He says softly, making sure to not startle you. Regardless of his volume, you sit up straight again at his voice. You don’t make a coherent word come out of your mouth except for something that sounds like a mix of “I’ll be okay” and “No thanks”. One way or another, you found a position comfortable enough for you to not get a stiff neck and stay warm. He lets you do what you do and instead lingers near you in case you fall into an uncomfortable position.

An hour passes and you wake up to your phone vibrating to wake you up. You shuffle about in your spot, stretching your limbs as you try to gain your bearings. The presence of another person next to you makes you wary of stretching too much, until you look over at them and you see San dozing off in his seat. You look around you and some of the members have dozed off as well, though the rest of them were in comfortable positions. You bundle your jacket up and carefully put it under his head. You pick up on his soft snores before slipping out of the room quietly. Your feet lead you to the nearest vending machine, looking for your pick me up throughout the day. As you count your loose change to pay for the coffee, someone’s voice startles the living daylights out of you.

“Coffee again?”

You turn to the voice and it’s San, who clearly looks like he just woke up but can’t rub his eyes. Instead, he takes his time blinking repeatedly to rid the sleep off from his gaze. “What? This isn’t the first time you’ve seen me drink coffee.”

“That’s going to be your fourth coffee..” He points out, and you can hear in his voice that he’s waking up now. He’s also a little concerned by your gradual rise in caffeine intake. His concern doesn’t faze you as you continue with your purchase.

“At least I don’t drink Americanos..” you say with a light tone. The last thing he needs to worry is about your health. You’ve been in worse situations and this isn’t that bad still. “San, I’m still okay, I promise.” You try to reassure him, though it seems that he doesn’t buy it. For now, he lets it be.

“At least I don’t confuse an americano with a latte.” He returns with a smirk He remembers your mishap a few weeks back of mixing up his americano with your latte. The face you pulled after getting hit with the bitterness, only to realize that he has your order. It was a small mistake but looking at it now, it was probably the start of your stress. His retort makes you look at him, miffed at the idea he would use that against you. He sees your reaction and is already ready to apologize until he hears you laugh. You turn on your heels and head back to your designated room and it takes him a few minutes to snap out of it and follow you. “I’m serious though. That’s your fourth coffee and you haven’t been sleeping a lot.” San points out softly, greeting any artist or staff that they pass by.

You greet them too, but your bottom lip is against the rim of your coffee in thought. “I’m still getting used to the new environment. You have to admit the cancellation of other shows and the additional guestings are disorienting too.”

You had a point but that wasn’t what he was getting at. “Manager-nim, what I’m saying is, please take care of yourself too.” The two of you reach the door and before any of you step in, you look up at the male, and he can see how your brain is working.

“I will, now let’s get inside, they might worry where you’ve been.” You say eventually and before you could open the door, he beats you to it and lets you enter first.

He hopes you keep your word.

--------

On the free days they had, they were back in the studio rehearsing for another performance. They already knew of the offer and without hesitation accepted it. Win or lose, this was a big thing for them. While you managed their schedules with the other managers, you also had to juggle keeping track of the logistics of their stage design. The idea they have is an ambitious one you had to admit, rare do you see idol groups going this far but they did carry the philosophy of performing as if this stage will be their last.

A small issue comes up in their stage planning, the dresser already got the green light but they worry about the prop to drive in the theme. The various lipstick shades offered to them didn’t quite stand out to them, hell even the make up artists were a little torn on which one would be best. “Just mix two shades or textures.” You suggest. While you had a fair knowledge of make up, it’s not up to par with those who have this as their profession. The suggestion you had given had already taken into account the dark and harsh lighting they’d pull for the stage. While you carry your laptop everywhere you go, you also have some copies of your paperwork in your phone-- just to save your back and shoulders from unnecessary pain. Would glossy finish work to bring it out? Shit, which red shades would even be a stark difference against San’s skin. “Technically this would also mean San has one shot in doing this.” Your head was swimming with thoughts and you rub your eyes as the exhaustion still hangs over you. You wanted the best for the boys in any situation. Him and Jongho were going to carry the atmosphere and they had to make it work. You stare at the shades of red that marked the back of San’s hand. You had to admit, it reminded you of your hand whenever you went out with the makeup artists.

The make up artists suddenly perk up at the suggestion, an idea quickly forming in their head, they grab San’s hand to look for the two shades that were the closest to what they had brainstormed. Once they found it, they made a note of which shades and decided to try and hunt for it. San looks at you, thoroughly thankful for your suggestion as it had solved their last issue. “As expected from Manager-nim’s brain.” Hongjoong praises and you flash a small smile. You take note of the final list of everything from their outfits to the lighting and props. You have to send this list by tonight and you only have three hours before the deadline. Talk about clutch.

As they rush about you, you settle yourself on the bench, typing away furiously at your near dying laptop. Maybe you only had thirty minutes before the deadline at this rate. You read the details outloud to everyone, making sure you didn’t leave anything out. Fifteen minutes after small edits. Once satisfied, you send the files to the producers and close your laptop, relieved to have one thing crossed off your list. Manager Bae senses your exhaustion and eyes the boys. “I’m driving tonight anyways, go and eat your dinner already and catch up on sleep until we need to bring them home.”

You don’t go against his words this time and keep your laptop in your bag. “Watch over my stuff, I’ll grab something at the 7/11 downstairs. Want anything?” He shakes his head and you don't push your offer as he returns his focus on the boys. You only bring your wallet and your phone. Your earphones are drowning out how your brain begs for rest. Once in the store, you pick the first thing your stomach can tolerate from the lack of rest and for once you skip on the coffee and opt to grab the orange juice. A small attempt at staying healthy.

You’re back in the company, eating your sandwich as carefully as possible and even through your earphones you can hear them rehearsing. The clock tells you it’s somewhere past midnight, you don’t know where the arm is, you just know it’s past twelve and you’re beyond exhausted. Once you finished with your sandwich you head back to the studio, the boys just a few counts away from the ending. Carefully, you slide your way to the bench with Manager Bae watching over them. “Did I miss anything?” You ask as you twist open your orange juice.

He shakes his head. “They’re wrapping up in an hour and a half.” That makes you settle in your seat, taking small sips of your juice. The way it makes you feel a little lighter is concerning but you push forward. As long as you have your sense of taste, you’re fine. As they finish up for the night, you’re already zoning out, your fingers dragging themselves against the edges of the bottle to keep yourself awake.

You snap out of it every now and then. When you do, your eyes go to Jongho and Seonghwa, the two members who had just recovered from their injuries. They storm through the long rehearsal, they’re also the last ones standing as they walk around after the intensive run. The others already on the floor breathing heavily. Manager Bae snaps you out of your thoughts when the choreographers start packing up. Time to end the day.

You pull up some of the members who seem to have become one with the floor. Sometimes having to use both hands from how they’re dragging their own weight down. “Boys, we’re going home. Come on.” You grunt amidst their whines of a few minutes to rest. San gets up without your help but helps you pick up the other members. You count the members, looking for the missing two. You glance over and you see Seonghwa has busied himself making sure Hongjoong goes home tonight. Once satisfied, you hoist your bag over your shoulder, stretching your tired body. “That’s all eight.”

San looks over at you, your eyes looking a lot heavier than usual. “Are you free tomorrow?” He asks, pulling off his beanie to ruffle his hair.

His question confuses you, how sudden it is to ask someone about their schedule for the following day, especially if their schedule technically revolves around them. “Yes, why? Do you need me to bring you somewhere?” You ask, as you wait for everyone to leave the studio.

“Sleep in.” He says and that’s the only time you stared at him. The incredulous look on your face makes him sigh. “Hey, Manager-hyung. Does Manager-nim have a day off soon?” San asks Manager Bae and you shift your gaze to the mentioned man.

The man looks at San with a raised eyebrow. “Yes because otherwise that would be concerning.” Just as San was about to say something to add to that, you cut him off.

“San, do not.” You actually don’t know what he was about to say exactly but you were not going to let him tell you when to rest. “I already made my day offs on the days after your promotion cycle, and I’m not changing that. I’ll just come to work a little later tomorrow.” It’s a compromise to ease his protective instincts kicking out. You sense that Seonghwa has been waiting for the two of you, not wanting to leave you behind. “Come on, Seonghwa’s already waiting for us.” With that, you make your way to him, already starting small talk with him and Hongjoong.

San trails behind you, watching you chat with his hyungs without a worry, as if your head wasn’t spinning a few moments ago. He wonders if you’ve caught feelings for one of his hyungs. You did spend more time with them for various reasons. Was it Hongjoong or was it Seonghwa? Deep in his thoughts, he lingers around Yunho as everyone heads towards the car, trying his best to not always look at you. Even if he doesn’t, thoughts run in his head, thinking back to times you’ve interacted with Seonghwa or Hongjoong. In his head, it seemed that you and Seonghwa were more believable than you and Hongjoong. You’ve shared a few moments with Seonghwa in the past. Unknowingly, his brows scrunch up at how his thoughts have led him to such a conclusion but he keeps it to himself. The chatter in the car has mellowed down to tired sighs and soft hums: sounds not enough to drown or push away the thoughts that tangle themselves in his head. So he turns up the volume in his earphones, anything to distract himself from the thoughts. The songs that play are their latest songs and the final version of their remake. While he can’t dance in the car, he closes his eyes and visualises how he wants to do the stage. It doesn’t take much time before he falls asleep on the way home.

The murmurs and sighs eventually became even breathing and soft snoring from the boys. You and Manager Bae softly discussing the next schedules and shifts. “Is it alright if I come in a little late tomorrow? I just really need to catch up on rest.” You tread carefully with the question. Promotions have already on their way and you’re already asking for a small break.

“It’s fine. I can cover for you until you arrive.” He reassures. “What time do you plan to come in?”

Your phone unlocks under your touch and you look at the calendar. “1 PM. I’ve done all the paperwork and logistical work for their Immortal Songs appearance and other radio appearances. I’m just waiting on the replies from the producers to relay to externals.” Somehow you manage to finish the last of your orange juice. Looks like you’re grabbing hot tea instead of your usual iced coffee tomorrow.

The man next to you nods at your word. “You’ve been working hard lately too, it’s okay to rest every now and then.” He says with a laugh. “No wonder you and the boys get along.” The road in front of you is near empty, just a few taxis carrying businessmen tired from a long day of work and drinks. “But honestly, don’t stretch yourself too thin. If there’s anything you can’t do, Manager Yoon or I can help you.”

The words touch you for a moment that you tip your head in thanks. “Yes, I’ll try my best.” Despite your sluggish feeling, you stay awake on the way home.

--------

You arrive at the apartment complex with Manager Bae and you waking up the boys who have fallen asleep. They only had to be told that they’re at the apartment already to wake up and make their way to the elevator. San was the last to wake up-- as expected, and you were the last one with him, as usual. “Sannie, wake up. We’re home.” You say softly as you shake him awake. He doesn’t reply. “San, wake up. I can’t carry you.” Again, silence. You sigh and look through your contacts, about to call Yunho to help you wake him up. “San, if you don’t wake up I’m leaving you in this parking lot to sleep.” His eyes open at that threat. “San, I swear…” you trail off with a sigh, somehow you can’t get mad at his antics. He slides out of the car and with that you lock the car up, making sure everything else is secure.

This time he brings you to your apartment first. He didn’t take a no for an answer, typical of him. The two of you quietly let the elevator bring you up to your designated floor. On the usual, you and San would be talking about the day or whatever was in his mind. This time, it was quiet. You stand next to him, and you lean your head against his shoulder, a long exhale of relief slipping through your lips. “You’ve worked hard, you know?” You say softly, his eyes on the display as the number goes up. “You’ve done a lot too, Strawberry.” The nickname came because of how your phone case had strawberry prints all over it. Along with your excitement for anything strawberry flavored.

No wonder you and Seonghwa got along so well.

You smile at his words. “Thank you. You did amazing today too.” You return softly. Your words make him smile as well. He wishes the trip to your floor was slower, just to make the most out of moments like this.

He kind of hopes that you don’t feel how hard his heart is pounding now.

The elevator rings cutting the moment short and you stand up straight again. He doesn’t stay in the elevator this time. He opts to walk with you to your apartment. You look at him, a quiet question at him walking you to your apartment but he gives you no answer. Despite that, you aren’t scared. “Sannie, if you’re worried that I won’t rest, I will.” You start. “I’m coming to work at 1PM so it’s Manager Bae or Yoon bringing you guys to the company tomorrow.” You hand the car keys to him to give to either manager tomorrow.

A sigh of relief comes out of him at your words. Without the cameras, he mellows down. “That’s good. I’ll see you later in the day then.” He says as he makes his way back to the elevator as you take a step into your safety.

“Also, San?”

He stops in his tracks and looks at you, waiting for you to continue.

“Thank you for taking care of me too. Please take care of yourself too.” You don’t think that he’s been a factor to you being able to keep yourself together. It’s part of your job to keep your shit together even in high amounts of stress but his concern for you warms you greatly. He's become a part of why you managed to keep yourself together for this long too.

He smiles at your words and hopes you sleep peacefully for the night. It’s been a long day for everyone. The last thing you see is his warm smile and back before you let yourself retreat into the comforting safety of your home. You figured that seeing his smile to end the day wasn’t so bad.

--------

Everyone’s nervous for the stage, even you, but you can’t show your nerves. There’s enough nerves going about in this room for the ten of you. Their stylists are the first to arrive at their room, and everything goes on like clockwork. This time it was you and Manager Yoon who took over this shift. The previous days of rehearsal were really just to make sure the clothes fit them right along with the props. Everything they've prepared for has led to this day. As much as they are hungry for the win, the mere idea of them being in the same room and performing on the same stage as big names was incredibly humbling and overwhelming for them.

The director gives them a run through of the schedule for the night which could stretch over to past midnight. In your bag were a few copies of their albums that they would give to the seniors and fellow idols, and you wondered how fans could carry so many albums when the albums in your bag was already your workout for the day. Seonghwa shuffles over to you after the director lets them get ready for the recording.

“Let me take these from you.” He says softly as the rest of you enter the room.

“Seonghwa!” He manages to get your bag off your hands and sets it down within your reach.

“Even I know they’re too heavy to carry for prolonged periods of time.” The male quips and you can’t help but sigh a little at his thoughtful actions. Glad to see that even without cameras, they’re still the same kind hearted boys.

You wave him off, handing his clothes to get ready for the long night ahead of them. “Now go change and get ready, you got a stage to tear down.” You watch him walk off to get changed and you catch San looking at your direction, as if too deep in thought. It takes awhile for you to snap him out of his thoughts. “Are you okay?” You ask once he gets back to reality.

He blinks for a few moments, a little startled by the sudden lack of distance. “H-huh? Yeah.” The answer stumbling out of his mouth. He’s not gonna admit that he saw you and Seonghwa talk the entire time. The shaky answer musters a small smile from you. You hand him his clothes, gently pushing him to the dressing room. “Come on, go get ready. Show everyone what you guys got.” You hope he doesn’t catch the soft meow you let out as a joke to lift his spirits. Yet he does, take it from someone who’s a complete cat person to catch anything cat related. Once the meow lands on his ears, he smiles so brightly.

“Ah! So cute!!” He squeals softly, his dimples making an appearance but he listens to you nonetheless. Even when his thoughts are in such a disarray, your words don’t fail to bring him peace even for a while. He can’t get himself to be bitter if someone else makes you happier than him. As long as you’re happy, shouldn’t that be enough? But he's greedy, he wants you to be happy because of him too. He’s also aware of how selfish that sounds and he's disgusted by how self centered he can be.

Once he leaves you alone with the rest of the staff, you bring out the albums, arranging them for when they visit the rest of the artists later on. One by one the members come out of the dressing room, fully dressed for their stage. One third of the magic is done, you were looking forward to how they’d look minutes before being called on stage. Now you can’t be in that part of the stage, only seeing the cuts through the monitor in the room. Once that was all finished, they’re ushered to the room where the magic begins. You and Manager Yoon give them supportive words as they leave the room.

The recording goes by without a hitch but god was it long. You and Manager Yoon often went out to grab food or drinks for the staff in the same room as them to stay awake, even for the boys during the long breaks in between shoots. You didn't want to admit it out loud but you wish the shoot goes by quickly, but that was wishful thinking. There’s so much to record that goes on in this show and you know the boys can’t and wouldn’t complain. Being in a room with the legends, as San would say, is already an honor in itself. Performing in front of all of them? Another honor. You can only assume that the boys are going through so much emotions that they have to keep in control in front of the cameras.

Everyone’s given a two hour break to eat dinner and freshen themselves up in time for the second half of the shoot. It doesn’t take the boys ten minutes to barge into the dressing room, still energized, if not more. The management was able to bring the entire room their dinner with some refreshments. As if they weren’t already loud, the sight of their meals made their voices boom through the room.

It’s clear in Seonghwa’s eyes that he has to keep in mind his portions. While you respect his decisions, he sees how you look at him. He reassures with a look as well, knowing how concerned you get with how strict he can be with himself. The eldest member settles himself near you once he grabs his share of the meal. It’s because of him that the other members were sitting around you too, all of them telling stories of how the recording went and the antics they did.

You stare at Yunho incredulously upon hearing that he made his ears turn red in less than five seconds. All he could do is hide his stuffed smile behind his hand, trying to shift the attention to the fact that San did another impersonation for national TV.

“So I guess that he also did some taekwondo too?”

“You know me too well.”

“It would be concerning if I didn’t, San.”

The back and forth causes laughter to bubble from the small group. When they realize they only had half an hour left, they quickly finished what’s left of their meals and got their makeup retouched before rushing out. “Watch our stage! We’re performing soon!” Hongjoong asks the room as a staff member picks them up and ushers them back to the venue.

The second half of the recording goes smoothly, and with how the MC was describing the next everyone knew it would be ATEEZ next. True enough, it was them and they’re ushered backstage, everyone’s glued to the monitor now.

You weren’t able to see the dry run of this stage, too busy dealing with other brand deals and work that comes with being a manager. This means that this performance is going to be your first time watching it. The nerves were setting in now as your bottom lip is caught in between your teeth in thought.

The stage starts and you have to commend Jongho and San for the haunting beginning that sets the tone for the entire performance. You weren’t sure as to why you were so nervous and worried for this stage when they managed to do everything they wanted for the stage and more. Even you felt out of breath by the end of the stage, but nonetheless you feel nothing but pride and relief for a smooth performance. Somehow even you keep note of the praises they receive for the stages, knowing that somewhere down the line they’d need this for future performances. They win the favor of the audience and for the rest of the show, they stay backstage. Without the cameras on them, you can only wonder what they’re up to.

“You think they’re catching some sleep?” Yoon jokes to you as he keeps his eyes fixed on the screen. His words make you snort.

“Pretty sure they won’t be able to catch some shut eye at this rate, they won against the previous artist, that’s enough adrenaline to keep them up until they get brought back to where everyone else is.” You speak a little too soon. The boys win once more and there’s only one last artist left to perform and everyone in the dressing room is stunned by the progression. The stylists knew that ATEEZ had a charm but none of them expected their charm to be this strong.

The last artist performs and everyone’s at the edge of their seat for the final round wondering if the boys would make it. The lights flash back and forth and once it stays on ATEEZ, the entire room erupts in glee. You lose feeling in your legs at the results, too stunned to say anything. The boys on screen are in disarray with their emotions: Seonghwa and Yunho are breaking into tears, Mingi and Jongho practically jump off camera, Hongjoong, Yeosang and Wooyoung are too stunned to move, even San had to crouch down from the mere shock and happiness of everything. The rest of the recording goes by quickly and the boys are finally back in the room, a mix of hyper energy and quiet content. You and Yoon quickly take videos of their thoughts about winning for their log videos: you with the older four, him with the younger four. The quicker everyone finishes the needed work, the quicker everyone can go home.

Once San has changed out of his stage clothes, he makes his way towards you even if Seonghwa drapes himself over you just for the sake of some shut eye. At least your bag’s a lot lighter now, otherwise you’d have to deal with a grown man draping himself over you like a dozing cat and albums. “Manager-nim! What do you think of our stage?” San asks, trying not to sulk at the fact your attention wasn’t completely on him.

“San! You did amazing out there. You kinda looked scary out there too.” You praise him, even while readjusting Seonghwa’s position on you; at least he wasn’t putting his entire weight on you.

San notices your attempt to carry the conversation even with his hyung being a baby. As expected, he tickles Seonghwa to get him off your back, literally. This results in a match of flailing hands from both boys. Maybe performing Black Cat was a perfect fit for these boys. You let them flail about for a few moments until everyone is accounted for. “Come on, time to head home for your cat naps.” You joke as you head to the car.

It was a good thing that you and Manager Yoon brought two cars for this schedule. For sure some of the boys would sleep by the time their back hits the backrest of the seat, while some would still be buzzing with energy. You end up with the boys that would knock out by the time they get in the car. San called dibs on the passenger’s seat, while the rest sat at the back without complain. The ride home is a quiet one, San trying his best to stay awake to keep you awake as well.

“San, it’s okay. Just get your sleep, I’ll wake all of you up when we get there.” You reassure him when his words start to slur and his head starts to bob to one side.

“But..” He fails to finish his words as a yawn slowly erupts from him. Yeosang, Mingi and Hongjoong were at the back, too tired to even talk, you can only assume that they’re slouched over on their seat, already asleep.

“San, it’s okay.” You repeat, as you drive carefully through a corner. “Sleep.” You say, almost as if it was an order. Moments pass with no response and you think he finally has fallen asleep. The rest of the drive is just your quiet breathing and the soft snores from who you can only assume is either Hongjoong or Mingi.

What you don’t know is that San’s still awake, only his eyes were closed the entire time. His thoughts running wild, usually you didn’t let them be overly affectionate with you during work hours, yet you willingly let Seonghwa be on your back even with the possibly prying eyes. He’s certain that you don’t return his feelings at this point. He was sure some of the members already know of his feelings, hell Seonghwa teased him about it a few days ago. Illogical questions pop into his head; if Seonghwa knew of his feelings, why would he be like such towards you? He didn’t want to think so poorly of his own hyung. It was a war in his head, two different sides making possible points that were easily debunked by the other side. If he doesn’t do something about this, it would just be a disaster. He needed to find a way about it.

In his tormented thoughts, he somehow managed to drift off into a state of in between conscious and unconscious up until he reached home. The three boys have gone up with the rest of the members, and it was only you and him left.

“W-where..” he mutters, pushing himself up his seat, looking around with sleep weighing his eyes down. Maybe sleeping in that position wasn’t a good idea. When he realizes where he is, the thoughts rush back to him.

Your voice was gentler this time, “We’re home, sleepyhead,” gently shaking his leg to wake him up a little bit more. I’m bringing you to your dorm first.” You don’t take his whines to change your mind. He’s more tired than you are, hell he didn’t even remove his makeup on the way home. It takes a few minutes for you to lock the car up and make sure everything’s in place, when you turn around you still see him lingering about, hands rubbing his eyes. “I thought you’d go ahead.” You note, as you walk with him to the elevator. You wait for the elevator to arrive while making sure he doesn’t topple over.

At least it’s Monday tomorrow. There’s no shows to rush to, no guestings either, it was just a day for them to recover after the hectic filming. You didn’t want to admit it but this routine is something you’ve come to love. As much as you love it though, you do worry for him especially now where he seems like he could just crumple over from the exhaustion.

This time though, you don’t let San carry your bag on the way up. He’s tired enough as it is. He was practically sleeping while standing up. “You didn’t have to wait for me, you know?” You murmur as you wait for the elevator to arrive.

“Wanted to.” he says under his breath. His eyes were heavy but the way he manages to still smile is a miracle. “... like being with you.” he continues softly. He rubs his eye with the palm of his hand, trying to push the sleepiness away. It can only help so much.

“San, we have so many other chances. It won’t be long either until they lower the levels for the social distancing and health measures.” You reason gently. Truth be told, you’re scared he’d collapse from exhaustion here. Though you were strong, you’re unsure of your capabilities to lift a grown man along with two bags. “Come on, the elevator’s here.” You make sure the doors don’t close in on the two of you this time, instead of him doing it for you.

You press his floor number first this time.

He hums again, or says something that fails to make sense to you. “What?” You ask as you wait for the elevator to move.

“I said, it’s hard to not like being with you.” He says, voice a little clearer now as he pushes himself up against the metal wall. “You’ve been doing your work to manage us and be a friend to us, even going beyond that. You’re really amazing.”

A part of you wonders if he drank without you knowing in the car ride home but you let him continue.

“Really jealous too. You’ve got your eye on someone no?” He asks, his smile carries something you never saw from him.

“What?” That wakes you up.

“Wish it was me instead, the one who has your heart y’kno?” He mumbles.

“Choi San, did you drink alcohol without me knowing on the way back here?” You ask, clearly alarmed by the words falling from his mouth. Adrenaline slowly waking you up as you start to scan him for anything weird.

He looks at you and you see exhaustion has colored his features. Even with that, you see that he’s not inebriated from any substance. “N’t call me that..” He mutters.

“But that’s your name.” You reach for his bottle, trying to see if he did drink without your permission. “San, I swear, if you drank without me knowing, I won’t tell the company _but_ you are in trouble to me.”

He pulls his bag away from your reach. As if that helps prove his innocence. “I’m serious.” He says, clearer this time. You wonder if the lift towards his floor was always this long, you look at him and he doesn't look as exhausted as he was earlier. He sees how you look at him with hesitance and disbelief so he takes the leap. “I really like you and I wish it was me instead that had your heart.”

You weren’t sure if the lightheaded feeling was from how high you were from the ground or from his confession. Just as you were about to say something, the doors open to his floor and you’re greeted by Yunho on the other side. The two of you face away from each other in a feeble attempt to sweep everything under the rug. “Yunho, I thought you would be asleep by now.” You say, genuinely surprised to see the tall man.

“Seonghwa Hyung got worried over San not being in the dorm yet so here I am.” He reaches out just before the doors close again. San steps out of the lift and waves at you, not wanting to look at you.

“Sleep well guys.” You bid them goodbye and somehow something inside you hopes that him not looking at you was because of the need to rest and not because of what had happened minutes before. The last thing you see before the doors close in between you is his back and his heavy shoulders.

Part 4

#my writings #san fluff #san angst #ateez scenarios #ateez fluff #ateez fanfiction #ateez angst #ateez writings #ateez series #san x reader #ateez x reader #uhhh idk what else to tag this as so yea #watch me play wild rift until i reach level 15 now JOKE

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hotarutranslations · 3 years

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Interview!

Evening Its Ishida Ayumi!

Interview

Please definitely read this

Also an interview from Yahoo!News...!

"Utaban"......

I was unexpectedly taken up for it thank you very much

Again,

Last nights "To Nakai Masahiro’s Smiles on Friday"

Thank you very much for watching it!

If you missed it, by all means, Please watch the TVver

Unexpectedly!

Ishibashi Takaaki-san's surprise appearance!

It was really surprising... I was speechless...

eeeh...

having this kind of thing...

Nakai-san was also surprised......

Looking to the right, Nakai-san and Ishibashi-san were between Morning Musume,

that scenery, was amazing

I wasn't able to talk well but......

Still, the atmosphere that could only be felt there, just a bit, I was envious!! fufu

But you know,

During the recording all of the staff were really warm, they got close to us like, lets make it exciting together! and they prepared a lot of introduction videos,

Watching the show,

Panda-san came out a lot!! lol It was sparkly~!! using the member colors,

as you can see the in the past videos of Utaban,

the relations with the staff, this time its small but, I feel like I felt a glimpse of that...

I felt very happy!!!

Really, thank you very much!!! thats what I wante to convey~

More than that, also,

Being able to be together with Nakai-san and Ishibashi-san

I'll do my best in hopes we'll be able to do it together again!!!

I must thank Wheeler as well!!!

Right!!! lol

Spread it around!!! lol

April 5ths release of "S Cawaii"-san

S Cawaii Special Edition That's J-IDOL Morning Musume '21 Special

it will be released the day after tomorrow but, it seems that its reached some people early... <3

I've also received the completed version today,

Everyone is cute...... <3

(Chii-chan's cute--!!!) (Today we had different dressing rooms but I thought she was so cute I wanted to go to her and say it, but as expected I stopped myself)

really from opening the magazine, man,

Morning Musume '21!!!

its a luxury... <3

I'm happy... <3

Those who will see it from now on, please by all means look forward to it <3

Well then today was a Team Wind performance in Aichi

thank you very much!

with 3 floors there were a lot of guests, yaho--- Everyone thank you very much

it was fun!

I'm happy!

I had a pony tail, it was totally hot,

But you know, all of the fans are watching it seated,

I'm sure it'll be calmer since they wont be cheering,

I wonder if you'd think that from watching,

Therefore getting sweaty and messy, its a bit embarrasing lol

I don't know why I'm feeling like that now←

But everyone sitting, was it hot for you too!?

It'd be nice if we sent out the heat

Up To Boy

9th and 10th generation serialization... Fukumura-san produced for me

Look forward

Tonight, Moning Jogakuin is airing on Radio Nihon-san!

Mo-Jo

Please definitely listen to it

see you ayumin <3

https://ameblo.jp/morningmusume-10ki/entry-12666415580.html

#Ishida Ayumi #Morning Musume #Morning Musume '21 #Hello! Project #Translation #Blog

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idolish7rabbitchats · 3 years

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Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Wonderful Octave Rabbit Chat Part 5

Gaku: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Ryuu! Thank you for pulling my request!

Tenn: Happy birthday. The radio was really fun.

Anesagi: Ryuu, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I’ll make it a wonderful year for everyone!

Tsumugi: Tsunashi-san, Happy Birthday!

Ryuunosuke: Thanks, everyone! I’m super happy that we could celebrate together this year too!

Anesagi: This time too, I called Takanashi-san into the group chat. I wanted to ask for impressions about the radio too.

Anesagi: We’ve been taken care of at the request gathering. You really helped us.

Tsumugi: It’s nothing! For me, I could see them working closely so I learned a lot from it.

Tsumugi: I asked a little bit before but, once again, I’d be happy to ask everyone’s impressions from the radio!

*Tsumugi: What was Mitsuki-san’s response to having his request chosen?

10: He looked up a bunch of things and sent me a link to the restaurant I said I wanted to go to! I’m excited now that Mitsuki-kun and Momo-san also said they were looking forward to it lol.

10: “TWELVE HITS” was fun! I wonder if I was able to pass the baton to the Re:vale pair perfectly.

Tsumugi: Yes! I’m planning to gather the requests for Re:vale-san too so I will also work hard!

8: You were stiff for a while. (lol)

8: We’re having a birthday party for Ryuu here. You should take it easy too.

10: Right! I’d be happy if we could have a group chat relaxedly.

Tsumugi: Because today’s a celebration day huh! I’ll be hyped too ><

Tsumugi: [Punching Pudding Stamp]

10: [Sparkling Kinako Stamp]

Tsumugi: Oh right, Tsunashi-san, what happened to your plan…?

10: That plan right…!

10:Sadly… Or more like, I’m thankful that it couldn’t happen. lol

Tsumugi: It can’t huh! ><

9: So you were in cahoots with Ryuu huh? With that funny plan to take care of us as a butler.

8: It was like “What is the birthday person saying?,” so we decided to be the butlers today.

10: Having these two as butlers is gorgeous!

Tsumugi: I-I want to see…! My heart is pounding just thinking about it…!

Anesagi: Takanashi-san, you are hyped. (Lol)

Tsumugi: [Hearts Kinako Stamp]

10: Tsumugi-chan, you’re funny!

8: I mean, I’m not sure what the butler would do.

9: They put white gloves on right? Do we have those in the house?

8: We have work gloves.

10: How about putting them on?

Anesagi: Are you guys gonna weeding or something?

9: If it has to be white gloves then it’s not like anything is fine.

10: Right! It would be difficult because it would be hard to move your hands if you’re wearing work gloves in the house huh...

Anesagi: That’s not what we’re talking about!

Tsumugi: It’s difficult to prepare that uniform all at once huh…!

8: Leaving the uniform aside, we are taking care of Ryuu perfectly.

9: After work ended, I made pancakes with Gaku. An actual cake would’ve been better but, without Ryuu we didn’t feel confident that we could properly make one.

Tsumugi: I see! A birthday cake huh!

8: Well, it burnt a little.

9: A little? That?

8: It was gone after I scraped it away right?! A little!

10: You took that away nicely, it was delicious! And you put a lot of cream huh.

10: They decorated lion-shaped cookies with whipped cream.

9: No.

8: That’s Shisa! [T/N: Okinawan lion]

10: Ah...

10: The Shisa cookies were cute!

10: [Spinning Pudding Stamp]

9: Putting the pancakes aside, we could pour the black tea well.

Tsumugi: Certain, black tea is essential for butlers!

10: The black tea that you guys made with the pancakes was super delicious!

9: Ryuu, he seems happy huh.

8: It’s his birthday so smiling so widely like that is good.

10: Gaku and Tenn seem happy too! lol

8: Isn’t it obvious? Because it’s Ryuu’s special day.

10: Gaku...

9: You said that you wanted to tell us your feelings of thanks but, even if you don’t say it, we understand.

9: You, who was not talkative before, trying to tell us with your words and actions makes me happy tho.

8: Because Ryuu’s in TRIGGER, Tenn and I could do well even while fighting.

8: It might be a weird way to say it but, Ryuu is like TRIGGER’S place to go home; he has an imposing presence.

8: Thanks for always. Because it’s Tenn and Ryuu, I can think that I always want us to be together.

10: Thanks… From me too, I don’t know if I’d be able to stand in this place as an idol if I wasn’t with Gaku and Tenn. To me, the ideal idols are Yaotome Gaku and Kujou Tenn.

10: I think it’s the two of you who made me into the Tsunashi Ryuunosuke I am now.

10: Thank you for meeting me and making me an idol.

9: Even if you were in a different group, you definitely would be an idol.

8: Even though Anesagi would poach you.

Anesagi: Of course I wouldn’t overlook Ryuu! It was your destiny to be the big brother in TRIGGER!

10: Right…!

10: From now on until forever, let’s keep standing onstage together!

V2:

T: I asked a little bit before but, once again, I’d be happy to ask everyone’s impressions from the radio!

T: How were the fans’ reactions?

10: Seems like people who had a sexy image of me were a little surprised! But I was happy that they said loudly that I seemed nice!

10: “TWELVE HITS” was fun! I wonder if I was able to pass the baton to the Re:vale pair perfectly.

V3:

T: I asked a little bit before but, once again, I’d be happy to ask everyone’s impressions from the radio!

T: Now that the broadcast is over, what did you think?

10: It’s sad that it only happened once! I want to do it as TRIGGER next time.

10: “TWELVE HITS” was fun! I wonder if I was able to pass the baton to the Re:vale pair perfectly.

#Idolish7 #idolish seven #tsumugi takanashi #Takanashi Tsumugi #Tsunashi Ryuunosuke #ryuunosuke tsunashi #idol #game #gaming #rabbit chat #Wonderful Octave #12 hits #translation #japanese #english #game app #idol game #Rhythm game

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nso-csi · 4 years

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200916 Midnight Idol - TAEMIN

Ha Sungwoon and Taemin talking about how Taemin was going to guest on the radio since a long time ago and he promised about it but things got delayed so finally Taemin's here now! HS: Taemin hyung you're so cool. I still remember long time ago we were talking about vocal/singing theory for almost 3 hours. We were talking about it in a car. T: Ah! I remember, I was talking about vocal projection~ HS: Yeah that's right~! Taemin said he needs to do broadcast with other people because it's hard for him to do it by himself. HS: But you're funny tho! T: Really? HS: Yeah, I saw you on Knowing Bro. You've changed now~! T: Ah thank you 6v6 Taemin said he had a lot of fun while preparing for his solo album. HS: Oh photocard! It's pretty! Your handwriting is similar to mine~ not that good with handwriting (lol) T: Yeah ㅋㅋ but I did it the way I want~ with sincerity 6v6 Taemin was talking about his 1 day 1 meal diet. T: I really had so much fun when watching movie trailer. Meanwhile watching mv (with the same length) sometimes I got bored. So I wanted to make a music video that's fun to watch and filled with a good storyline. HS said he admires how Taemin could promote since such young age with a hard environtment so he thought he should look up to Taemin and learn a lot from him. T: I wanted to be acknowledge among music critics. HS: Me too! There's always a difference between music critics and public's standard, right? T: Yeah true! HS: But for me, my no 1 goal is to get acknowledge by hyung! T: Hey, ofc I (already) acknowledge you! HS: This time it's more difficult than Move! What's in your mind while dancing Move? T: I thought of the lyrics, like 'I will stole your heart' HS: Ah really? But it's so difficult, I haven't seen anyone do it like you. Nobody could show the same feeling as you hyung!

HS asked Taemin to show his 'sensual' expression. Taemin did it but HS went "Actually that's kinda cute". T: Haha yeah 6v6 HS: But it'll be different again when you're on stage!

Fan: You knew your Move performance at the Fashion Week is still going around and hot till now, right? Can you choose which stage you think is the best? T: Ah.. it's hard to choose since I did many stages (...) HS talking about Taemin's Door perf at MAMA. Taemin chose his MAMA stage when he performed Guess Who + Soldier. Fan: How are you when you're angry? Did you get angry often? HS: I think I don't remember Taemin getting angry often nor showing his feeling when he's annoyed. Um.. I saw Kai hyung being annoyed more often. For Taemin hyung I think you're just complaining when you get frustrated. HS: Now that you're doing solo & I'm a solo too, I wanna tell you that I was jealous when you performed w/ Jimin. (HS wants to collab with Taemin too) T: Ah really? HS: Yeah and maybe you don't know this but Jimin was really a fan of you, and then after that I introduce him to you. cr.: littlefreak0923

Taemin said that he is busy nowadays so he can’t watch movies but the most recent movie series he watched was ‘Before Sunrise’ and ‘Before Sunset cr.

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ikonist · 4 years

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this is abt hanbin and ikon so keep scrolling

so i was high a few days ago nd watched a video about hanbin and yun and realized that yun took such good care of hanbin. he always played the ‘hyung’ card on him, teasing him and saying that he loves hanbin all the time, said his ‘mission’ was to make hanbin happy. and that got me thinking that yun must’ve helped -both emotionally and physically- hanbin throughout the years… like,,, hanbin rarely acts childish around the members since he is the leader/songwriter/composer but he does it w yunhyeong bc yun doesn’t mind it.. yun always cooks for him knowing that he was up until late in the studio, avoids waking binie early (but does if he has to), and the other members said this a bunch of times but yun is a great listener so can you imagine the amount of times he listened to hanbin’s concerns and self doubts and never complained abt it cuz he’s yunhyeong lol but those thoughts made me so sad thinking how hard it must’ve been for hanbin these past 11 months without his brothers.

tbh i don’t care if hanbin decides to live his life quietly or just producing songs for himself/his friends. i don’t care if he comes out with a full comeback, mv, etc. i rlly don’t care. the only thing i genuinely care about is if he’s happy doing whatever he is doing, and he seems to be happy these past days, so that’s enough for now. i think i’m past that point of wondering what on earth he is doing, if he’s producing more songs, creating a label, etc, but if i could ask for just one little thing, it would be to show him how much his fans love him; to show him every tweet i see with “i miss hanbin”, “hanbin pics to brighten your day!” or “hanbin compilation” posts. to show him the heartbreaking and incredible edits and posts i’ve seen about him, and how much he is loved. i know that in demo 3 he said “i know i was loved”, but i want to tell him he is loved, still. ikon is loved. ikonics never gave up on them. god, not even one ONE!! hanbin fansite closed, and it has been almost a year. think of kpop idols who lost fansites for even less than that (not that i like fansites that much but the symbolism is there). i’m so grateful that he knows how much we think about him, but every time i feel like it’s not enough. i want him to know that we’ll always be here and he’ll always be in our hearts too. i wish hanbin could see himself thru my eyes and know how kind, talented, heartwarming he is.

sometimes i ask myself if i’m not being too ‘blinded by love’ when it comes to ikon (but especially about hanbin), but then again, what is it about ikon that makes me appreciate them so much? what makes me feel this empathy for them? what is it that when i think of them, i don’t see a boygroup. i see friends who are a ‘chosen family’, who know each other so well and would never give up on their brotherhood. never. how they are totally different people, but learned what being respected and appreciated feels like, and saw how much they could grow if they listened to one another. i’m not saying that they never fought (if anything i’d put my finger on donghyuk cuz hes a capricorn living with an aries ARIES and a capricorn sag dom.. i mean…. i’d throw hands if i were him), but they learned that hierarchy in the group wouldn’t lead them anywhere. in that iheart radio interview where the lady said ‘what is ur secret to have such great teamwork/chemistry’ and they said they don’t rlly have hierarchy and (to me) this is so important for a group like ikon.

imagine if they never took anything chanwoo says seriously just because he’s the maknae even tho he is one of the most logical members? or what would happen if hanbin had to always act like the leader when he said yunhyeong would be best fitted for that? if bobby got mad at donghyuk for playing with him just because he’s younger and they never developed that friendship? at times like this i thank ikon for being such a down to earth group. they never took anything for granted. they were humble from the beginning and kept being humble, even when they received (a lot) of awards. in the mma speech, hanbin said ikon was a group who tried to fill an ocean into a teacup, but that only made water spill everywhere, and i think that’s true. ikon was ambitious and had such a big desire to win that it led to so many heartbreaks and tough paths for them.

i realized once i started (fully) stanning ikon that they make you feel this immensive empathy towards them to the point where i got choked up with tears learning about their hardships. i’m not trying to say that they’re the only group who went/goes thru this; in fact, i don’t believe anyone should be put to what they had to endure predebut until now. the countless times i cried watching videos of them sleeping on the floor on tour, watching interviews/vlives where they said they want to show us what they’ve been working on, watching concerts where they broke down in tears because ‘they just wanted to see us’. it breaks me because ikon are such good boys but they aren’t even allowed to show that.

in that concert where bobby said “please protect us” and hanbin said “please protect me”... that’s what i’m talking about. ikon was always true to us. the concert was in early 2019, so imagine what they’ve gone through in 2013-2015, when they were trainees. god i can’t even wrap my head around to think how much these boys (who at the time were 16-20) suffered in their early days. being called ‘b-list’ idols because they weren’t as good as the other yg groups. having to tour for a year doing two concerts a day sometimes, while preparing for comebacks/recordings. having to use oxygen masks to perform bc they were too tired. but they always put the biggest performances because they know that moment was once in a lifetime for us.

when ikon won soty in 2019 it was clear to me how much they appreciate what we’ve done for them and how personal the fan/idol relationship is with them. i don’t mean it as in some delulu shit but... ikon knows that we trust them. they know we will always be loyal to them, and that’s why they treasure their fans the most. only ikon knows what they went thru since 2013, but some fans who have been with them ever since are proof that the bond has always been strong. for fuck’s sake even the fan chart for most of the songs “we will protect you ikon / we will care for you ikon / we will shine on you ikon / let’s be happy ikon”. i don’t wanna sound fake deep but ikonics reflect ikon in so many different ways. ikon is loyal, they are caring, they never gave up on what they dreamed of, even if it seemed unreal. they know what’s like to see the ones you love fall and try to get them back up again. ikon lived so many failures and were SO critical about themselves for not debuting in 2013, trying to debut again in 2015 but not doing so well in charts, not being able to be free. they just wanted to sing. to be with each other. and yet they kept meeting obstacles along their way, but even so they never gave up. and i think that’s kinda what being an ikon fan is about too.

so, as for now, no one is sure about ikon’s path in the future but i can say that even though things might get tough a few months from now, ikon will always be that group for me.

IKON BEST BOYS

#ikon #hanbin #idk im just sad #everything i weird today whats wrooong #is****#tess.txt #binie #long post

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yeontanismypresident · 5 years

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je t’aime | myg

word count: 5,089

genre: bf2l!au, idol!au, fluff, angst

warnings: none that I can think of lol

taglist for all fics: @sugasheart

Humming Spring Day, you made your way to BTS’ dorm. It was around three in the afternoon and they didn't have to be at the airport until eight in the evening, so you had five hours to help them get prepared and to hang around. They would be gone for five months and you wanted to get in as much time with them as you could. You knew that when they got back they would be back in the studio.

When you got to their apartment complex, you strolled through the entrance, and texted the group chat, letting them know you were there. Getting an ‘okay’ back, you waited on the lobby couch for one of the boys to come down and get you. You had told them it would be easier to just buzz you in, but they said they preferred having someone come down to make sure you get in safely. While waiting, you pulled up snapchat and watched people's stories, only putting it away five minutes later when you heard someone calling your name. Looking over at the elevator, you saw it was Namjoon who came.

You smiled and walked over to him, “Joon! You excited for tour?”

“Yeah, I'm excited to see all ARMY,” there was a big smile on his face, and it made you happy for them. They had worked so hard to get to where they are now, and you were very proud. They deserve everything they had accomplished and so much more.

Namjoon led the way to the elevator, pressing the 9th floor when the both of you were inside. There was a comfortable silence in the small elevator, that was only broken when the doors opened and a screaming Hoseok came running out of their apartment.

“Y/nnnn!!!!” his voice was loud and filled with excitement. The maknae line was close behind, joyous laughter leaving their lips. You loved how he was enthusiastic to see you, but you couldn’t breathe.

Getting pulled into a tight hug, your face squished between Hoseok’s chest and hand, you mumbled, “Hobi! I can't breathe!” He quickly let you go, throwing his arm on your shoulder instead. Allowing him to pull you along, you glanced around and noticed both Jin and Yoongi were nowhere in sight. It was weird to not see Yoongi there. He was usually the one to get you or the first one to greet you when you get on their floor.

Opening their door, Jungkook yelled out to the two remaining members, “Y/n is here!” A loud crash was heard as soon as the words left his mouth, leaving you all to be confused. It was dead silent for several seconds before Jin could be heard yelling.

“Yah! Min Yoongi! I just bought those plates!”

Just by his voice, you could tell Jin was annoyed. Moving towards their kitchen, you peeked your head around the door, taking in the scene. There stood Jin with his hands on his waist, an apron covered in flour around his waist, eyes furrowed. On the other side of the room was where Yoongi stood with shards of glass surrounding him. Judging by how his hands were shaking and a sweat broke out on his forehead, you could tell he was either scared or nervous. He didn’t really look that scared at being yelled at, so you assumed he was nervous. But for what reason? He was almost never nervous.

“Is everything alright in here?” you announced your presence, slowly walking into the room. Hearing your voice caused Yoongi’s eyes to widen and he took a step away from you. He must have not realized there was glass, for he stepped on it. Hissing, he tried to move away from the sharp pieces, but ended up stepping on more.

You gasped, rushing over to him, grabbing his arm to stop him from stepping on any more, “Gosh Yoongi, you have to be careful! Come on, I’ll get the pieces out of your foot and wrap it up.” Letting him lean on you, you brought him into the bathroom.

“You don’t have to,” his words were mumbled, and if you looked closer you could see a blush forming. Huffing, you ignored him and helped him sit down on the closed toilet seat.

Going through their cabinets, you pulled out tweezers, antibiotic cream, and gauze, “I do, what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t?” He felt his heart drop when he heard you say the word friend. Before he could think any more of it, you kept talking, “Besides, we can’t have you injured before the tour even starts.” Right, today was the day they were leaving. It was also the day he was telling you the feelings he had for you.

Starting to pull out the glass, the silent room was filled with nothing but his small sounds of pain. Once they were out, you put the antibiotic cream on and wrapped his foot in the gauze. Putting away the medical stuff, you then pulled him up and supported him. Walking back to the kitchen, you saw the broken plates had been cleaned up. All the boys were sitting at the table, eating what looked to be brownies and ice-cream. There were two seats left for you and Yoongi, and you helped him sit down in the one closest to Hoseok. The room was filled with talk of tour, what you would be doing while they were away, and what they would do when they got back. All throughout, Yoongi was quieter than usual, and it made you worried.

While everyone was talking, Yoongi was busy thinking over everything he was going to say. Should he be formal with you? Or should he just blurt them out? Or maybe he should write you a song! No, that would take too long, and if he didn’t tell you today then he never would. He had been hyping himself up for months now and he couldn’t wait any longer. After eating, each member went to double check that they had everything they would need.

“Namjoon-ah, don’t forget your passport this time!” you teased the man, waving it in your hand when you noticed him looking around for it.

His tense shoulders relaxed, overcome with relief to know he hadn’t lost it, “Oh thank god. I thought I had lost it already.” Shaking your head, you smiled at him.

“Y’know, if you put it in your carry on you wouldn’t lose it so much. Or, you know, give it to one of the other members to watch over,” you gave him the advice while handing it over. Namjoon nodded, liking the idea, going into Jin’s room to give it to him. Chuckling to yourself, you went to your best friend’s room to see if he needed any help.

Pausing in his doorway, you leaned against the frame and watched the way he packed. His tight shirt showed off his muscles, and you lick your lips at the sight. Yoongi was startled when he saw you out of the corner of his eye. Turning towards you, he stared at you, cocking his head to the side. Not even realizing he was facing you, you continued to daydream about how he looked underneath the shirt.

Yoongi cleared his throat after some time, “Can I help you Y/n?” It was like you hadn’t heard him, for you were still staring at him, now biting your lip. This only lasted for two more minutes, before you became aware he had said something.

Snapping out of your thoughts, you gazed at him with wide eyes, “What?” A gummy smile broke out on Yoongi’s face, and he shook his head. He turned back to his luggage and continued to pack. “No, what did you say Yoongi?” you questioned him.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it miss daydreamer,” there was a teasing tone behind his words.

You knelt down next to him and pouted, “Tell me Yoongs.” He snorted at the whine that left your mouth, looking at you. Glancing down at your lips, he couldn’t stop the thought of what they would feel like from running through his mind.

“I asked if I could help you with anything,” he gulped, quickly tearing his eyes away from your mouth. Who knows if he would be able to stop himself from kissing you.

You nudged him playfully, “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?’ Yoongi rolled his eyes, nudging you right back and muttering out a ‘whatever.’

Once his suitcases were all packed, you each wheeled one out to the living room. The rest of the BTS members were already there waiting by the door. Taking a look at your phone, you saw it was already six in the evening.

“We’re gonna go out to eat dinner and then head to the airport,” Jin informed everyone, starting to head out of their apartment. One by one, you all followed him out. Being the last one through the door, Jimin closed and made sure their door was locked.

All eight of you got into the elevator. It was a tight fit, and you find yourself pushed up against the wall with Yoongi in front of you. His chest was pressed against yours and you could feel his heart beating fast. He tried to avoid looking into your eyes, not wanting you to see the emotions swirling around. Having Jungkook move backwards to let someone into the cramped elevator caused Yoongi to press even closer to you. Looking up at him, you caught his attention. You realized that if you moved onto the ends of your toes, you would be able to connect your lips with his. Before you could allow yourself to go through with it, you heard the elevator beep, signaling you had reached the lobby. Clearing his throat, Yoongi backed away and you followed behind him. Walking beside him, you went out front and saw a car waiting for you guys. Yoongi rushed to get a seat in the way back of the vehicle. Getting in, you sat in between Hoseok and Taehyung, pulling out your camera to vlog for your YouTube channel.

“Hey guys! It’s Y/n and today I’m just going to be vlogging our shenanigans at the restaurant. It’s gonna be a short video, but I promise the next one will be longer!” you did your intro, panning it around the car, showing all the boys.

Jimin was napping with his head on Taehyung’s shoulder, while Taehyung was on his phone. Hoseok was smiling at the camera and waving, causing you to laugh. Jin was facing the back towards Namjoon and was quietly discussing their plans for when they got to their hotel in France. Turning the camera to face Jungkook, you filmed him quietly singing to the song playing on the radio. Lastly, you caught Yoongi anxiously chewing on his lip, wringing his hands in his lap. He gave you a timid smile when he noticed you were filming him. Giving him a reassuring smile, you turned back around and ended the clip.

--0--0--0--

Pulling in front of the restaurant, the eight of you got out and headed inside. Namjoon told the waiter the name the reservation was under. The waiter led all of you to your table, in a secluded corner where no one would be able to disturb you. The seating arrangements were as followed: On the right side, sat Hoseok, Taehyung, you, and Yoongi. On the left side, sat Jin, Namjoon, Jimin, and Jungkook.

“My name is Min-Jun and I’ll be your waiter for the evening. Can I get you anything to drink?” the young man asked, keeping his eyes on you. Which Yoongi noticed, and he didn’t like it. Not one bit.

Hoseok ordered first, “I’ll have a sprite!” You couldn’t help but to let out a small snort at his drink order. That man was obsessed with sprite and it always amused you when he got so excited over it.

“I’ll have a diet coke,” Namjoon said politely.

Jin was next, “I’ll take an iced tea, please.”

“I’ll have milk!” Jungkook exclaimed.

“Can I have a coke?” Jimin asked the waiter.

Taehyung waited until the waiter had finished writing before saying, “I’ll take a sprite.”

The waiter wrote down his order, before looking up at you with a flirtatious look on his face, “And what can I get for you beautiful?” His words caused your eyes to widen, and you fidgeted. Yoongi could tell you were feeling uncomfortable so he put his arm around your shoulder and pulled your chair closer to his.

“I’ll take a black coffee, and thanks for the compliment. She’ll have a coke with no ice.” The boys were shocked to see Yoongi act this way. He’s never done that before, and they were curious as to why he did it now. Clearing his throat, the waiter nodded and quickly left to get the drinks.

You leaned your head on Yoongi’s shoulder, mumbling your gratitude, “Thanks Yoons.” The other six boys watched, fascinated by how their calm member looked at you with heart eyes. They weren’t going to say anything, not wanting to ruin the moment you two were having. Well, all except Jungkook that is. He opened his mouth to tease his hyung.

“Hyung! Why are you looking at Y/n with he-” Jungkook cut his sentence short when he felt Taehyung kick his shin from across the table. Jin started telling jokes, trying to take your attention from the maknae. Laughing at Jin’s jokes and puns, you didn’t witness Yoongi glaring at the younger boy with heated eyes.

A different waiter came back with the drinks, introducing himself and informing you that he would be your waiter for the rest of your stay. Yoongi smirked, knowing he was the cause they got a new waiter. He didn’t care if he was rude, he wasn’t going to lose you before you were even his. After ordering your meals, the conversations continued on. When the food arrived, everyone ate quickly when they caught sight of the time. They only had an hour to get to the airport and through security.

--0--0--0--

The ride to the airport was filled with everyone laughing and joking around. All except one min Yoongi that is. He was usually calm, reserved, and poker faced, so he wasn't completely out of character. Though it seemed today would be different. Every once in awhile, you would glance over to see him fidgeting with his hands, nervously. He was either rubbing the back of his neck or chewing on his bottom lip. Whatever the motion, seeing his nervous tics caused you unease. Yoongi's peculiar behavior continued on for fifteen minutes before you'd had enough.

You leaned over to his ear, whispering so you wouldn't draw too much attention to your conversation, "Yoongs? Are you okay?" His breath faltered a little when you put your hand on his thigh. He knew your intention was simply to comfort him, but that didn't stop his heart from racing a little faster.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine," his voice cracked causing him to stutter. He cleared his throat before continuing, "I'm just nervous about getting ambushed at the airport I guess." You could tell by the way he avoided meeting your gaze that he was lying. Not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable, you nodded. He could tell that you had seen through his lie, causing him to feel guilty. You have been best friends for a while, and have always told the other everything. This big secret he was hiding had just been another weight on his shoulders. But he was planning on telling you everything today. Hopefully.

Tuning back into the other boys' conversation, you joined in with their antics. Jungkook was messing with Jimin and Taehyung, while Hoseok was jokingly complaining about all of

Jin's puns and Namjoon was just watching it all take place.

Jimin leaned over Taehyung and gave a squinted smile, "Yah Y/n don't miss us too much." You laughed at his teasing, but you knew you would miss him. He was the one you were closest to after Yoongi.

"Are you sure it won't be the other way around Jimin-ah?" you had a teasing smile, shaking your head slightly when he threw his head back and laughed. He knew it was true just like the rest of you did.

Seeing Yoongi let a small smile out warmed your heart, knowing whatever was bothering him wasn't too serious. Yoongi could feel his heart stop for a second when he realized you all had arrived at the airport. He was hoping for more time to calm his nerves. He thought of just not telling you, but he knew he had kept it in for too long. Hell, he's kept this a secret for the last two years. If he didn't confess now, then Yoongi knew he never would. What a perfect way to tell you, then when he was about to board a plane to go across the county? If you didn't take it well, then he had five months for you to forget he had even said anything. Then the two of you could live life as best friends, just like you are now. Nothing had to change if you didn't want it to. No matter how much he wanted you to be something more, he would never make you.

"Yoongi? You coming?" your voice was soft, bringing him out of his thoughts. Yoongi looked around noticing everyone else was already out of the car. Not wanting them to wait any longer for him, he nodded and got out.

The boys put on their face masks and hoods, heads down, ready to walk through the airport halls with screaming fans. Even though there were bodyguards surrounding the lot of you, Yoongi still didn't like how you were behind them. He wished you were walking right next to him, his hand connected with yours, grip tight to make sure you didn't fall behind. But you weren't dating so he could only dream, plus he didn't think the fans would appreciate. He couldn't help but take glances over his shoulder, making sure you were still safe.

Looking back one again, he noticed you were falling behind, and he couldn't have that. Forgetting all about their fans, he slowed down to let you catch up. Without looking at you, he grabbed your hand in his. Taking a look at you from the corner of his eye, he could see you were confused by his actions. “I didn't like how you were falling behind,” his words were mumbled. If it weren't for the way he leaned down to your ear, you wouldn't have heard him.

You squeezed his hand, showing him your thanks through your actions. By now, fans were screaming even louder, flashes going off fast to capture the moment. Yoongi knew there would be a lot of backlash from what he did, but as long as you weren't hurt he couldn't care less. He would go through a lot more trouble if it meant you're not harmed. Arriving at their private security check, they stopped to say their goodbyes to you.

“Now, be safe Y/n. Don’t talk to strangers and don’t forget to eat and sleep properly! Oh, and also don’t forget to upload!” Jin lectured you, lightly slapping your arm when you rolled your eyes at him.

You laughed, trying to block his attack, “Yeah yeah, I promise dad.” He let out a ‘yah!’ before laughing along with you. Suddenly, you were attacked with a back hug from someone.

“I’m gonna miss you Y/n-ie~” Hoseok’s voice was next to your ear, and his arms tightened when you tried to get away from him. You were finally able to turn around and return his hug, uttering out your ‘miss you’ as well.

Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung ripped you away from their hyung. They all wrapped their arms around you, creating a giant hug. As one, they all yelled, “Don’t forget to text us!” “We’re gonna miss you Y/n-ah!” and “Don’t miss us too much!” You shook with laughter, getting squished even more when you answered them.

Getting out of their embrace, you made your way to Namjoon, “Don’t forget your passport mister.” He chuckled and tugged you into a short hug, thanking you for reminding him. Taking a glance at his watch, his eyes became huge when he noticed the time.

“C’mon guys, we only have 20 minutes before our plane leaves,” Namjoon said, getting into his role as leader right away. They all yelled goodbye to you, before walking over to the security checkpoint. Someone cleared their throat behind you, and you spun around to see Yoongi standing there. He looked even more anxious than earlier, and he slowly walked closer to you.

You brought him into a tight hug, placing your head on his chest, “I’m gonna miss you Yoongs.” Yoongi wrapped his arms around you, resting his chin on the top of your head. Before he could speak, Jimin yelled for him to hurry up. Yoongi let you go, grabbing onto his suitcases with both hands.

Swallowing his nerves, he stared at you with a soft expression, “Look, I don't have much time, but I need to tell you something.”

“You know you can tell me anything, right? You don’t have to be nervous,” you made sure your voice was gentle.

He nodded, letting out a shaky sigh, before he spilled everything, “I needed to tell you that I’m in love with you.” You stood there, completely shocked, not knowing what to say. Seeing you just stand there, caused his eyes to water and his face to heat up. You didn’t have any time to reply back, for he quickly stated, “Look, I know you don’t feel the same, but I’ve been holding it in for two years now. I had to tell you and I figured this would be the best time. I’ll be gone for five months, so by the time I get back we can continue on as best friends.” Once again, before you could open your mouth, he was rushing off towards the rest of his group. You stood there for ten minutes watching as their plane took off, and then rushed out of the airport to get back to your apartment as quick as you could.

--0--0--0--

It had been a day since Yoongi had told you he was in love with you. When you had gotten home the other day, you had hurried and packed a suitcase. Once that was done, you went to bed, deciding to text their manager when they landed. You had to tell Yoongi you were in love with him as well, but needed to make sure you were allowed to visit first.

Waking up, you waited a few more hours before texting Sejin, explaining everything to him. Getting the okay from him, you grabbed your luggage and made your way to the airport, buying a ticket when you arrived. Deciding to vlog, you pulled out your camera and hit record.

“Hey guys! It’s Y/n here and for today’s vlog, we are going to France! Well, more specifically, we’re heading to the boys’ hotel because mister Yoongles forgot his headphones and we all know he can’t live without them,” you explained to the camera, showing the headphones that Yoongi coincidentally left behind. The PA system came on, announcing your flight was now boarding. You looked back to the camera, “Well, looks like that’s me! I’ll update you guys when I get on the plane!” Turning off the camera, you put it in your carry on and made your way to the boarding area. Handing the lady your ticket, she scanned it, and then you got onto the plane. Once you were all situated in your seat, you turned your airplane mode on and then turned on your camera.

Fixing your hair, you told the camera your plans, “So, I just got on. The flight is gonna be about twelve hours. Most of that time I’m going to be sleeping because ya girl loves her sleep.” After clarifying everything, you turned the camera back off. Like you said, you fell asleep as soon as you closed your eyes.

The plane ride flew by fast, due to your unconscious state, and before you knew it, you were landing. Getting off the plane, you took your phone off airplane mode. It buzzed multiple times before becoming silent. Letting the messages load, you could see all of the boys had messaged you or called you.

Your cell phone started vibrating, indicating you had a call coming through. Looking at the caller ID, you saw it was Jin that was calling you. Picking up the phone, you were automatically ambushed with his loud voice. "Yah, Y/n! Why weren't you answering Yoongi? He's freaking out thinking you hate him!" "Sorry sorry! I was on a plane and couldn't use my phone,” you tried to calm him down. He was confused, and questioned you, "Wait...Why were you on a plane?" You’re silent for a minute, then declared, "...Oh my god you're such an idiot Jin I swear. I'm not going to tell Yoongi I love him over text." "Wait, so you got on a plane to come all the way to France, just to tell him you love him?" Jin asked you, his tone filled with amusement. You nodded, before you realized he couldn’t see you, "Uhh yeah? I mean he's the one who dropped the bomb on me right before he got on a plane." "Wah that is so cute. So is it a surprise?" Jin said, making you smile. You knew it would be best to tell him in person and not over the phone. "Yup! I’m actually at the airport right now." You enthusiastically said. Jin told you, "Alright I'll keep quiet about it then. I'll send you the hotels location." "Thanks Jin, I'll be there as soon as I can!" You stated, before ending the call. A minute later your phone vibrated with a message from him. Opening it, you saw the hotel’s location. You hailed a taxi and told the driver the address, and you were on your way.

--0--0--0--

When you made it to the hotel, you paid the taxi driver, grabbing your suitcase from the car. Closing the car door, you turned to face the hotel in amazement. It was absolutely beautiful, and you were happy Jin had offered to buy you a hotel room. Walking inside, you went to the front desk and got your room key. Getting in the elevator, you hit the fifth floor. Luckily, he was able to get a room right next to Yoongi’s. Strolling down the hallway, you stopped in front of your room, and slide the card to open the door. Once it beeped, you pushed open the door and stalked inside. You were captivated by it as you looked around. There was a king sized bed, and a huge window that showed a perfect view of the Eiffel Tower. Plugging your phone into the charger, you became aware of the time. The boys would be in sound check right about now, and you had an hour before you had to leave.

The hour passed by quickly, and before you knew it, you were on your way to the venue. Your nerves were acting up, and you could feel your hands start to sweat. You had no reason to be scared. You knew he felt the same way as you. Hell, he was the one to admit it first! When you get to the venue, you could hear the screaming fans from outside. Going to the back, you saw a bodyguard waiting there for you. Showing him your ID, he allowed you in, and showed you the way to the boys’ dressing room. Throughout the whole concert, you watched them perform their hearts out. The concert ended, and you were starting to feel anxious once again. Loud, cheerful voices could be heard coming down the hallway towards the room you were in. Taking a deep breath in, you stood up and faced the door, just as it opened. The boys all trudged inside, and you watched as Yoongi was the last one in. He was looking down at his, frowning with his shoulders slumped. He only looked up when you said his name.

“Yoongi…” your voice was quiet, and you watched as his mouth dropped open. He was astonished to see you standing in person in front of him. Last he checked, you were ignoring him.

He slowly stalked towards you, his voice low and puzzled, “What are you doing here?” He stopped in front of you, and you walked closer so you were almost touching.

“You didn’t think I would tell you I’m in love with you over the phone, did you?” you quietly asked him, giggling when he just continued to stare at you. Yoongi put his hands on your waist and tugged you into him.

He leaned in and smashed his lips onto yours passionately. He let his emotions flow through the kiss, smiling when he felt you kiss back. The two of you stood there, just kissing each other innocently. You knew you should stop for there were people all around you, but his lips were too addicting. You figured it was safe to say he thought the same, seeing as he only pulled you closer and deepened the kiss. Needing oxygen to breathe, you pulled away, slowly opening your eyes. Gazing at you with love, Yoongi softly kissed your lips one last time before releasing you from his embrace. Instead, he intertwined his fingers with yours, not wanting to let go of you completely.

You were reminded of the others when Jin cleared his throat. He gave you guys a teasing smile, “Now that you two are done, how about we head back to the hotel?” Everyone nodded, congratulating you and Yoongi on their way out of the room. Jin stopped to say, “Oh, by the way, Yoongi we had someone move your stuff into Y/n’s room. You can thank you me anytime.”

“Thanks hyung,” Yoongi muttered, rolling eyes. He gave you a gummy smile when you nudged him. He pulled you into a soft, slow kiss, and mumbled against your lips, “Let’s go back to the hotel jagiya, I’m tired and I wanna hold you in my arms.”

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dimensionsunited · 3 years

Text

NOVEMBER 2020 DIMENSIONS ENTERTAINMENT SCHEDULES & REVIEW

Members may earn 3 points each (up to 6 points) for writing, by the end of December 7 KST:

A solo para of 400+ words based on their monthly schedule (does not count toward your monthly total).

A thread of six posts (three per participant, including the starter) based on their monthly schedule.

Threads do not have to take place directly during an important date listed on the schedule, but must be related to what the muse is mentioned to be doing in the paragraph explaining their schedule/the company’s schedule for the month and/or their thoughts on the mentioned activities or lack thereof.

These schedules may be updated throughout the month if new information needs to be added.

Reminder: October schedule posts are due by the end of November 7 KST. Please do not post schedule posts in the fmdschedule tag.

OVERALL COMPANY

food cw // As the Culture Complex grows closer and closer to being finished and is slated for an opening in the first quarter of 2021, the focus has turned to the details of the new center. This month, an offer is extended to all idols under all three companies to submit a cafe menu item idea for a food item themed after them, their group, their company, or their career in general. A contest has also been opened for fans to submit ideas. Idols who submit their ideas and are chosen will get additional publicity through the items’ sale in the center’s cafe and will be awarded a set prize amount in money for their contribution and will earn a percentage of the profit from the menu item once the complex opens. (Menu item ideas should fit a cafe setting and not involve extensive preparation; things like non-alcoholic beverages, small personal desserts, sandwiches, etc.).

Important dates:

N/A

DIMENSIONS SOLOIST 1

Before her comeback promotions come to an end, Dimensions has arranged for her to film a “Dance Training Video” of her newest single where she’ll teach key points of her dance to one of her managers and a member of Dimensions’ marketing department. After the end of her promotions, schedules fall off a lot and she’ll mostly be in for meetings here and there about potential end of the year activities and conversations about her direction in 2021.

Important dates:

November 2: “Pporappippam” Dance Training video filming.

November 5: End of music show promotions.

DIMENSIONS SOLOIST 2

On November 15, he releases his latest single and begins music show promotions for it. For this round of promotions, management is mostly focused on recruiting new idol fans from music show promotions and reigniting the passion of existing fans by encouraging him to participate in fan outreach during the period such as VLives. He will also guest on two radio shows as general public outreach.

Important dates:

November 15: Release of "When You Call My Name”, music show promotions continue through December 15.

November 18: Guesting on KBS Music Plaza radio show.

November 20: Guesting on Naver Now Late Night Studio radio show.

DIMENSIONS SOLOIST 3

Dimensions has decided they’re starting to run thin on how much they can milk the success of “I” and her debut solo mini-album, which means they’ve made final decisions about her first solo comeback. She’ll be returning with a single with a different sound from her first release, while still keeping her within the ballad vein she’s successful with. The back half of this month, she’ll go into the studio to record the final vocals for the track.

Important dates:

N/A

GAL.ACTIC

Gal.actic continues their music show promotions with a couple of radio show guestings and a fan sign. The song receiving a moderate amount of attention, even if the opinion on the title track as a song itself was split, has confirmed another comeback for the group internally, although nothing has been officially decided or announced to the members yet. Instead, during the back half of the month, members are mostly encouraged to focus on individual activities as the year comes to an end.

Important dates:

November 2: Guesting on KBS Music Plaza radio show.

November 6: Guesting on KBS Cool FM Kiss The Radio radio show.

November 7: Fan sign in Gangnam.

November 19: End of music show promotions.

ALIEN

The members will continue to practice their lines and a handful of performances for their upcoming fan meeting, but they also have yet another English-language music video to film, which will serve as the final single off of their English-language album shortly after they release it next year.

Important dates:

November 21: “You Can’t Hold My Heart” M/V filming.

MARS

Their comeback happens on November 17 and its success is apparent soon after release. It charts well, especially for a boy group, and the fan response is even more positive as fans express gratefulness MARS has returned to the dark concepts fans are particularly found of, and it doesn’t hurt their enthusiasm that his concept leans even more sexy than usual. It sends a clear message to Dimensions what fans want and the company attitude seems to be overall pleased with the results of the comeback. In addition to music show promotions, MARS will promote through radio shows and fan signs and they’ll even film a special Christmas dance practice for their latest title track which will be uploaded onto YouTube next month.

Important dates:

November 17: Release of “Chained Up” & Chained Up mini-album, music show promotions continue through December 17.

November 20: Guesting on SBS Power FM Cultwo Show radio show.

November 21: Fan sign in Mapo.

November 27: Fan sign in Gangnam.

November 29: “Chained Up” Christmas dance practice filming.

7ROPHY

The end of Queendom leads directly into their comeback with their finale track and it’s very well-received. It’s by far the most popular single they’ve released this year and it becomes clear 7ROPHY has won by showing themselves as strong competitors on Queendom, even if they didn’t actually win the show. Dimensions hadn’t expected the single to do so well, so promotions are limited to music shows this time around, but a deadline is set for the end of the month for members to contribute to any songs that might be submitted for their next comeback, which Dimensions reports they’re planning for the first quarter of 2021.

Important dates:

November 1: Release of “Lion”, music show promotions continue through December 1.

UNITY

Unity finishes off their preparations for their late-month comeback earlier in November with the teaser photo shoot and music video filming. They don’t get to see too much of the results of this comeback before the month ends, but even from the beginning of promotions, it earns them a place as Dimensions’ crown jewel with better chart results than ever before and an almost assured path to becoming a million seller between this repackage and the original album, placing them only behind the likes of Origin and Knight in physical sales and making them the first from their company’s history to achieve such a feat.

Important dates:

November 3: Comeback teaser photo shoot.

November 10: “Punch” M/V filming.

November 15: Release of “Make Your Day” Episode #1.

November 18: Release of “Nonstop” Episode #2.

November 24: Release of “Punch” & Unity Zone: The Final Round repackaged album, music show promotions continue through December 24.

November 25: Dingo Music Unity in 100SEC Choreography video filming.

↳ CHAMPION

No schedules for the month.

Important dates:

N/A

LUCID

Lucid completes their Asia showcase tour at the beginning of the month, but Dimensions doesn’t have a break in the plans for them. They’ve been invited to perform on Immortal Songs 2 once again and will need to rehearse for that throughout the month. They’ve also been chosen to be turned into characters for the FPS game Sudden Attack due to their popularity with young men, and become ambassadors for the game in the process. Character models will be based off of existing photos of them but they will have to go into the studio to record voice-overs for their character models. If that isn’t enough, they’ll also be in the studio to record their next comeback this month. In a concept meeting earlier in the month, they’ll learn that this comeback is considered critical since they’ve now completed both the original “normal realm” school trilogy and the original “nightmare realm” nightmare trilogy. Officially, this comeback is considered to be a combination of both the regular and nightmare realms — a first for their lore — and the intention is to stay close to the successful sound of their “normal realm” concept with a slightly more girl crush lean, while the music video will involves themes of both realms.

Important dates:

November 7: LOL Asia Showcase tour at Taipei International Convention Center in Taipei, Taiwan.

November 16: Sudden Attack character recording.

November 20: Immortal Songs 2 filming (to be aired: November 28).

#fmdschedule #queued post

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krreader · 5 years

Text

create your own happy ending.

pairing: kim taehyung x reader fandom: bts warnings: soulmate!au ; language genre: angst ; fluff

summary: there is no right or wrong when it comes to happy endings. each and every one of them is different and both you and taehyung had to realize that.

a/n: eleven pages and I cried at quite a few of them so that’s always a good sign lol. I hope you like it and thank you for the request ♥

You opened your eyes, staring at the white of your ceiling with a hint of disappointment when you realized that it had once again been a dream.

It was weird that it was always Taehyung, but you explained it with the fact that he was probably just your bias. It was normal. Your friends dreamt about their favorite idols/actors/singers all the time. But whatever you were dreaming, somehow Taehyung always found his way into your dreams.

Whether he was the 'main' actor in your dream, or just someone who passed by in the background, he was absolutely always there.

Sometimes you were enemies, other times you were friends and often you were lovers. Those were your favorite dreams, by far.

“I'm serious you guys, my soulmate is so freaking handsome. I can't wait to meet him in real life,” your friend said over coffee a few hours later.

“I had three dreams about Jimin last week.. do you guys think he's my soulmate?” another asked, but the rest of them just snorted.

“As if any of us are their soulmates.”

That's why you never told them about your dreams, because they would react the same way. They would laugh in your face, tell you you were insane for even thinking of this possibility, because how could you, a normal person, be the soulmate of someone like Kim Taehyung?

“(Y/N) never talks about her soulmate,” suddenly all eyes were on you. And you were seriously uncomfortable, “How come?”

“Well, I..-” you cleared your throat and straightened your back, “I just don't believe in the whole thing, you know?”

You kind of did.. deep down, you knew that he was your soulmate. But you didn’t want to accept that yet, because you knew you had absolutely zero chance with him.

“Good for you, hun. If the thing actually works, then we'll all meet our soulmates eventually anyways. And if we don't, then we'll just be successful and happy on our own.”

You all toasted to that.

Even though.. a soulmate would be nice.

Jimin smiled a little when Taehyung woke up from his slumber, the plane still high in the air.

“Sleep well?”

But Taehyung just shrugged. He didn't get a lot of rest lately, mostly because he refused to go to sleep.

And it wasn't because he was too busy, but because he was afraid of what, or rather who, he would meet in his dream. Because it was always the same one who appeared.

“You shouldn't be afraid of your soulmate, you know?”

“I'm not afraid of her,” he quickly said.

That's not what this was about.

The issue was that he didn't know her, that meant she wasn't in this industry and that meant he had no chance of being with her because of who he was. Who he had decided to become when he was younger. Fans would never accept it, he would not have enough time and he’d always feel like everyone else was judging him.

It was like each happy ending had to be the same, otherwise it wouldn’t work.

Most idols somehow managed to find someone who was even just remotely in the industry, or someone who they knew they had a chance to be with. A manager, a stylist, a producer, a choreographer, a translator.. someone like that.

Taehyung knew that dreaming about a normal person as his soulmate meant being lonely forever.

Because he refused to be with anyone but his soulmate.

“Who knows,” Jimin continued to browse through his magazine, “Maybe you'll meet her soon.”

“What good will that do?” Taehyung turned back around, now clearly pouting, “We have no chance of being together.”

You and your friends were sitting in the library, studying for an upcoming test, when the doors got smashed open – and that was unusual for a library – and the missing member from your group of friends ran in with something that looked a lot like tickets in her hand.

“I FUCKING WON YOU GUYS!” she screamed, everyone around her immediately shushing her, to which she quickly apologized and then sat down with the rest of you, her legs bouncing up and down nervously.

“You won what?” another friend whispered.

“Remember that stupid game show they always play on the radio in the morning where you can call in and win VIP tickets for you and your friends for concerts and sports games and stuff?”

“Yes?”

“Well, I called this morning and they told me to pick up my tickets right away, because the concert is literally tonight!”

“Hold on,” one of them seemed to understand and was now looking very shocked, “Are they..-?”

“BTS TICKETS!” she screamed once again, the librarian looking very angry at this point.

So angry that you all had to leave because it wasn't just her that was losing it now, but all of your friends.

She got five tickets, so a ticket for each of you.

You'd all go backstage with two members of the radio station, you'd chill in the VIP area and you could watch the concert without fans pushing you around.

But it didn’t quite hit you all until you arrived at the arena later that night.

There were so many fans, you didn't know where the line started and where it ended. But the friend of yours that had won dragged you further away from the crowd, almost to the back of the arena.

That's where the two guys of the radio station waited for you.

“There you guys are, we didn't know if you'd find it,” one of them said with a huge grin, “Are you excited?”

“Yeah,” all of you answered in unison.

Well.. all but you.

Because you had contemplated whether or not you should even go.

Taehyung popped up again and again in your thoughts. You were scared of what you might feel when you'd see him on that stage. When he'd be so far away and wouldn't even realize you were here and yet you'd be looking at him and you'd realize that your excuses had been shit because that man right there was your soulmate and you couldn't lie to yourself any longer.

But backing out on this would have looked weird, because who in the world would miss an opportunity like that, right?

The radio hosts lead you through the entrance without having to wait in line.

You showed your tickets, got your bags checked and then went inside.

Staff members were running around, yelling at each other and clearly preparing for the show ahead.

Your friends were listening to what the radio guys were saying. They explained to them how these shows worked, what had to be done beforehand and how time consuming it all was. And while they were all actually just hoping to meet the boys, they all listened willingly.

Had no other choice, to be honest.

You were a little further behind, looked at everything more carefully than them, mostly just because you were hoping that it would take your mind off the obvious.

Until one of your friends suddenly screamed.

And then you completely froze because there was only one reason they'd get this excited.

“You must be the lucky winners this time,” Namjoon grinned from ear to ear and looked at each of your friends with pure kindness in his eyes, “I'm Namjoon. It's so nice to meet you.”

And then they all came out.

Yoongi, Jin, Hoseok, Jungkook, Jimin..

They were all there, shaking their hands and smiling at them like the nice people that they were.

And then..-

“And this is our Taehyungie.”

And that's when your heart stopped pounding.

“Mommy? How did know daddy was your soulmate when you met him?” your eight year old self asked when your mother tucked you in one night.

She smiled at you with the happiness in her eyes that she always had when she talked about your father, “Well.. I had seen him in my dreams since I was a little girl, you know? So I knew that he was my soulmate.”

“Did you say I love you right away?”

Your mother chuckled, gently brushing her hand through your hair, “No, but I wanted to. Because I felt it. I remember I looked at him and it was as if my entire life had been leading up to that moment. I remember how my heart stopped beating and how I couldn't breathe anymore because he was just so.. ethereal. I had only seen him in my dreams, so it was surreal seeing him in real life. But I instantly knew that I loved him.”

“And what did daddy do?”

“Well, daddy didn't see me right away because he didn't have his glasses on,” you both laughed at that, but then your mother's voice became soft again, “I was.. so shy. But I knew that I couldn't let him go. I knew that if I did, if I let him walk away, I might never see him again. And.. that would have hurt me really bad.”

“I'm glad you talked to him, mommy,” you said tiredly, “I'm glad he loved you back.”

“Me too, sweetheart.”

You tried to control your breathing, but it was easier said than done. It was if your body was not functioning correctly all of a sudden, your heartbeat was stopping and then suddenly beating so fast again that you felt like it would jump out of your chest at any second, your belly felt like a thousand butterflies were flying around in it and your legs felt like jelly.

And just like your mother..

..you knew.

“Where is..-” your friend asked, finally realizing that someone from your group was missing. She turned around and found you staring at them with wide eyes. Well.. staring at only one of them, “What are you doing, (Y/N)?! Come on!”

But you couldn't move.

You wanted to tell him, run up to him and tell him that you loved him and that was so weird because you didn't even really know him, but at the same time you knew all about him.

Taehyung was looking at you for a moment, then narrowed his eyes at you and then gulped down hard.

But he managed to conceal it a lot better than you did.

He was so used to hiding his real feelings that this was easy for him.

But on the inside.. it looked a lot different.

“Uhm,” Namjoon decided to clear up the suddenly awkward atmosphere with a cough and looked at your friends again, “I think we need to get ready. You guys enjoy the show, okay?”

“We will! Thank you so much! And I hope you have a great time too!” another friend of yours said, two of your group already walking over to you to see if you were having a stroke or something.

Taehyung looked at you for a moment longer, then he turned around and left with the rest of his members.

Your mother's words rang in your ear, you tried forcing yourself to run after him because you would never get another chance like this..

..but you were just a fan.

And just because he was your soulmate didn't mean that you were his. Because there was no way a fan could be the soulmate of an idol..

“(Y/N)? Are you alright?”

No.. no you really weren't.

“I need some air.”

“You okay?” Jimin sat down next to Tae in the hair and make-up room. He looked.. distraught. Visibly so.

“Yeah, sure. Why wouldn't I be?”

“I don't know.. you just seem.. off,” Jimin licked his lips, “Is it because of those girls? Did they make you uncomfortable? I know that one girl stared at you a lot, but some fans are..-”

“She didn't,” he quickly interrupted, “I'm fine, hyung. Honestly,” and with that he got up and walked out of the room, leaving a confused Jimin behind.

On one hand he had always hoped he'd never get to meet his soulmate because meeting her would mean having to face the harsh reality that it would never work between the two of you.

On the other hand, he had always yearned to see the face of the woman he had been dreaming about for the last years and tell her all the things he wanted her to know.

But you were a fan and he was an idol.

And he had to remind himself of that.

His legs carried him outside, his brain needing air to work properly again.

But soulmates were connected to destiny.

And he should have known that he wouldn't be the only one who was rattled because of that meeting.

“Hey mom,” he heard you say, the phone pressed tightly against your ear, “I uh.. I found my soulmate.”

He could tell that you were holding in tears and he knew that he shouldn't listen in, but..-

“I wish I could be as excited as you are, but it didn't go well. I felt what you once told me you felt when you met dad, but.. when he looked at me it was as if I didn't matter.. which I probably don't,” you said sadly, brushing your sleeve over your nose.

Taehyung's shoulders slumped, his body suddenly feeling numb as he leaned back against the cold iron door.

“I wanted to have a happy ending like you and dad did, but.. I guess I'll just have to be on my own and find my own way,” there was a moment of silence, before you continued, “No, it's okay, you don't have to pick me up. I'll come home soon, I don't think I should be here anyways. Maybe just.. give me a hug when I come home and tell me you love me?”

Taehyung closed his eyes for a moment and to his own surprise, a tear managed to sneak out of his eye that he quickly wiped away.

He felt it too.

All of it.

He knew you were the right one and he hated himself for not being able to tell you. He hated himself for not being able to go to you and ask you to be with him forever, because that's all he wanted.

All he had ever wanted..

..it's always been you.

Unfortunately the more he thought about it, the more he cried, until the tears just wouldn’t stop coming.

And even though he knew he should leave before you turned around and saw him, he didn't.

He didn't move.

Not even when you finally got up from those stairs and wanted to walk back inside, stopping dead in your tracks when you saw him, the tears on his face mirroring yours.

“There are so many things I want to say to you,” he whispered, his jaw beginning to clench and the tears still running out of his eyes.

But you didn't respond, you just stared at him, your own tears not stopping either. If only, the crying actually got worse when he approached you and suddenly stood right in front of you.

And being so close to the one you loved but not being able to touch him and tell him how much they meant to you..

..it was torture.

“And god,” he wanted to laugh, but it turned into a sob instead, “You're so beautiful, (Y/N).”

Now it was your turn to sob, your head dropping and your eyes pressing shut because you realized you were his soulmate too, but.. he couldn't be with you.

You knew it, he didn't have to say it.

You’re just a fan.

“Taehyung?” Jimin peaked through the door, his heart dropping at what he saw, but Taehyung quickly wiped away his tears and turned around to look at his band member, “Uh.. we uh.. need to go on stage soon.”

“Alright,” he nodded, taking a deep breath and looking at you one last time, “I wish I could give you the happy ending you deserve.”

And with that, he walked back inside.

And you broke down, literally.

Your knees gave in, until you were sitting on the cold floor, your sobs becoming uncontrollable and your entire body being in pain and no matter how hard you hugged yourself, you couldn’t give yourself comfort.

You lost your soulmate before you even really had him..

Taehyung was as professional as he always was.

The other members noticed his puffy eyes, but they didn't say anything.

He performed like he usually did, smiled and pretended to be happy, but as soon as he walked off tonight, he left the premises.

The others were a little slower with wrapping things up, assumed that he just wasn't feeling well, but one of them knew that there was something more going on.

That's why Jimin asked his manager to drive him to the hotel too.

And ten minutes later, he knocked on his band members' door, his heart aching at what he saw when Taehyung opened it.

“I know you don't like to drink, but.. I feel like you could use one right about now.”

Jimin walked inside, took off his jacket and watched Taehyung lie down, hugging a pillow as close to his body as possible.

The room was pitch dark, the only lights being the city lights from outside that slightly illuminated the room.

He didn't want to push, so all that Jimin did was lie down next to him and wait for his younger member to talk if he wanted to.

Otherwise he would just be here so that he at least wasn't alone.

“She was my soulmate, Jimin,” he whispered after a while, his voice hoarse from all the crying.

“That girl?”

“Yeah. I knew it the second I saw her..”

Jimin let out a breath and put his hand on Tae's shoulder, squeezing once, “I'm so sorry.”

Usually people congratulated their friends and family upon finding their soulmates, but Jimin and all the other idols knew that if your soulmate wasn't in the industry, you almost never ended up with them because it was simply put almost impossible.

“I heard her talk to her mother on the phone and she was so.. heartbroken. This.. beautiful and kind woman was sitting there, crying because of me. Because of how fucking disgusting and stupid and horrible I am and because..-” when Taehyung began to cry again, Jimin immediately turned him around by his shoulder and pulled him against him, letting him cry into his chest and rubbing his hand up and down his back, letting him know that he wasn’t alone right now

He had a hard time not crying himself, to be honest. It hurt him so much to see one of his brothers be so utterly broken. But he tried to be strong. For him.

“Taehyungie.. ever since we met, you told me how excited you were to meet your soulmate. How excited you were to have your first date with her, then marry her and then start a family with her eventually. How excited you were to start your lives together and share everything and anything with each other. But somewhere along the way, you stopped being excited and became sad instead.”

“Because once I realized she wasn't from this industry, I realized that it would never work!” he sobbed.

“But what if it could? Imagine if your soulmate was another idol, imagine her fans and your fans hating it so much, that the hate would be twice as bad and you could never be happy. Imagine how hard it would be if she was an idol as well and both of your schedules were so packed, that you could almost never see each other. I know that most of the time these relationships work and those of idols and 'normal people' don't, but there are cases where it does work the other way around. And just because everyone in this world tells you it won’t, doesn’t mean that it has to be like that,” his soothing voice made Taehyung slowly calm down, “It wouldn't be easy and I'm sure the two of you would shed a lot of tears over the years, but in the end.. wouldn't it be worth trying?”

The crying stopped.

Slowly.

Because now Taehyung began to think.

If his fans found out that he and you were dating, they would probably be furious, but he could always hide it for as long as he had to. Maybe you were willing to travel with him, maybe he could show you the world and you could experience it all together.. maybe you were willing to try if he meant as much to you as you meant to him..

“Do you really think it could work?”

Honestly? Jimin had no idea, but he felt like Taehyung needed someone to say: “I do.”

“I'm glad you could come,” the radio show host said with a smile, “Your friends told us you hadn't been feeling good and the goodie bag was too heavy for one of them to carry two, so I'm glad you can pick it up.”

To be honest, at first you hadn't even wanted to.

It would be BTS merch that would only remind you of your soulmate that had left you, but you had enough cousins and friends who would die for a bag like that, so you had decided to go and get it.

“If you could just wait in here,” the guy showed you into a conference room, “I'll be back in a sec.”

You nodded with a small smile and turned around, letting out a breath at the view in front of you.

You could overlook the entire city from here.. a calming feeling to the hurt you had been feeling the past days.

The door got opened and then closed again and without turning around you said: “You guys really have a nice view from up here.”

But when you did turned around, it wasn't the guy with the bag that stood in front of you.

“I didn't know how else to contact you,” Taehyung said nervously, “I hope you're not mad.”

“Just.. surprised,” and confused and also ready to cry again because your heart was still in pieces.

He carefully took two steps towards the table, then sat down in one of the chairs, you doing the same in the one next to his.

“I.. wanted to talk to you again.”

“About what?”

“Well.. us.”

“Us?” you furrowed your eyebrows, “You made it pretty clear that there is no us.”

“Relationships in my line of work usually don't last with people from outside of the industry. Fans get crazy mad when they find out we're dating normal people, we idols feel even more pressure because we never feel as if what we can give you is enough and everyone around us is telling us that it isn’t right. That we should be with people that are like us.”

“If you're saying all of this because you're trying to make me feel any better it's not working.”

“I'm saying all of this because I realized that not everyone is the same. That only because the relationship of a friend didn't work with him being an idol and her not being one, doesn't mean that it has to be the same for us too. That the opinion of others shouldn’t matter when it comes to what I’m feeling. That happy endings don’t always have to be the same for everyone. I realized that we both owe it to ourselves to at least.. try.”

He had looked just as broken as you had when you had first seen him, but now he looked.. hopeful.

“Why?” you whispered.

“Because I knew I loved you the second I saw you,” your heart began to speed up at those honest words, “And I would never forgive myself if I didn't even try to lead the life I always wanted with my soulmate.”

At first you just stared into his eyes as if you couldn't quite believe it, maybe your brain even told you not to believe it or you would get hurt again, but then your eyes began to water again without you being able to stop it and you knew that your heart had won the battle.

“Are those.. good or bad tears?” he asked hesitantly.

“They're good tears,” you chuckled, continued to smile while he softly brushed them away, “Very good tears.”

Taehyung was right.

You both owed it to yourselves to at least.. try.

“Mommy? Daddy? Can you tell me a story?” your daughter pouted, both you and Taehyung returning to her bed to sit down again with soft smiles.

“Okay how about.. this one,” Taehyung started, gently brushing his fingers over her cheek, “Once upon a time, there was a man who was very, very lost in his life. He was very sad and very lonely, despite so many people loving him. But he wanted to find a different type of love. He wanted to find his true love so, so much. But at the same time, he was so afraid of that kind of love.”

“Why was he afraid of true love?” she asked with wide eyes.

“Because true love can be scary sometimes. People sometimes tell you that love has to be a certain way for it to be true and pure, but that's not true.. and the man realized that eventually,” he turned his head to look at you, a happy smile on his face, “He realized that no matter what other people said, all that mattered was what he felt for the love of his life and what she felt for him.”

“Does the story have a happy ending?”

“Yes,” you replied, your hand brushing through the back of Taehyung's hair, “The happiest of them all.”

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