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arthenaa · 1 year

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in your arms — sebastian sallow x fem reader

plot summary: Sebastian, more often than not, annoys the fuck out of you to get your attention. Your friends think it's disgustingly adorable.

content tags: fluff, FUCK i love seb so bad, me just projecting my love on to this man, established relationship natty, poppy, imelda, ominis, you and seb hangout in the room of requirement, you're in your 7th year, kiss kiss mwa mwa, you makeout w ur bf while ur friends are in the room aw, you and seb third wheeling everyone in the room, ominis w a niffler simping for his face

"So this is where you hide every afternoon." Imelda marvels at the spacious room from where she's sitting. You had invited Natty, Poppy, Imelda, Ominis and Sebastian for a cup of tea and relaxation in your base of operations; The Room of Requirement.

You had alerted Deek beforehand that you would be inviting a couple of friends over. The house elf had been generous enough to tidy up the place before promising to leave you alone during the allotted time. You take note to find something in Hogsmeade to give to Deek as a thank you.

In the center of the room of requirement, sits a lounging room facing towards the vivarium. Sat on one of the small chairs is Imelda and on the other is Natty who sips on her cup of tea. On one of the sofas is Ominis who has a niffler on him for some reason, gawking at his face like it's some sort of jewelry and on the other sofa is you and Sebastian. Poppy, on the other hand is inside the vivarium, basking in your beasts' company. Specifically your common friend, Highwing who she had not seen for weeks.

"Professor Weasley was kind enough to let me use this to catch up on my magic." You reply as you lean back against the couch. Imelda's eyebrows raise in surprise at the information.

"Talk about having favorites." Imelda leans over to Natty who laughs at her insinuation. You playfully glare at the Slytherin gal before feeling an arm around your shoulder. You glance at the boy beside you who only gives you a boyish grin before placing peck on your cheek. Imelda lets out a disgusting groan.

"How adorable." Natty scrunches her nose as she smiles. She then turns to Ominis who is busy patting the niffler on his lap. "I do wonder how you deal with this everyday though."

"Thank Merlin, I'm blind. I never would've otherwise." Ominis snorts. Sebastian reaches over to smack his knee in retort. The young Gaunt only glares at his direction before moving farther from where Sebastian is seated, bringing the niffler with him.

"It's not my fault you all suck with your game." Sebastian sighs as he settles down to lay on the couch causing you to be pushed all the way to the end. You send your boyfriend a glare as he rests his legs on your lap. He only smiles at you. "People tend to overshadow their jealousy with jokes."

"As if I'd be jealous of you, Sallow." Imelda scoffs. "The only way I'll say that is if I was under hostage by a Giant Purple Toad and it told me the only way to live is if I had to say the most vile disgusting thing I could think of which is you apparently."

"How long is she going to take in there?" Natty intercepts Imelda's bickering as she glances at the glass doors to the vivarium where a happy Poppy coos at Highwing's offspring. Caligo chirps behind Highwing, nudging his beak against hers.

"It's easy to get yourself lost in Y/N's vivarium. I don't really know how you were able to get this many beasts in here without Professor Black's knowledge." Ominis adds as he feels the niffler crawl up his arm and sit on his shoulder. "Is he staring at me? I don't have anything shiny on my face."

"I think its because the shiny thing IS your face." Imelda chuckles as she stares at niffler leaning against his cheek. You laugh at the situation before feeling a tug on your arm. You turn towards your lover who has his eyes trained on you.

"What?" You whisper softly as your hand gently caresses his leg. He shrugs, back leaning against the arm of the couch. You roll your eyes at him. You try to turn yourself back to the conversation before there's another tug on your arm. You turn to him with a raised eyebrow. "What is it?"

"Nothing."

"Do I really have to pull it out of you?" You sigh as he smirks mischievously at you. Sebastian always had the knack of annoying you. He (according to him) enjoys seeing the numerous expressions on your face whenever you got mad at him for his silly little tries of getting your attention. It always makes him want to coo and baby you whenever you've reached your limit. Apparently now is the best time to do it to you.

"Maybe." He teases as he now nudges his leg against your stomach. You slap his leg, giving him a glare which only fuels his drive to annoy you more.

He rises slightly from his position to pinch your arm before dodging the incoming smack from you. "Sebastian!" You whisper-shout. He laughs softly before glancing at the three who seem more immersed in their conversation than chastising the two of you.

"C'mere." He mumbles as he opens his arms. You raise an eyebrow at him.

"No." You say firmly as you move farther to the other side of the couch. His resolve only strengthens.

"Come here." He tries again but you decline with a shake of your head. He drops his arms on his lap with a pout before staring at you.

You know from experience that whenever Sebastian pauses for a second that something bad is brewing in his head and so you look at him with cautiousness.

"Don't." You smile nervously as you turn your back against the arm of the couch. Sebastian only smiles at you as he begins to crawl over to your side. You glance at the three as they erupt into laughter, not noticing your cry for help. Before you could try and dodge Sebastian's attack, he had already pulled you in his arms, trapping you as he pulls you on his chest, laying the two of you down.

"Sebastian!" You squeal as you try to push your hands against his chest but his grip on you is unforgiving.

"I've got you, little dove." He smiles into your hair as you playfully groan. You could only wrap your arms around him in fear of falling off the couch. He turns the two of your carefully to your side, his back to the three still lost in their conversation.

"You're annoying." You mumble as you look up at him from your position. He smiles, diving down to place a kiss on your forehead.

"To be fair, you said it was only going to be us two hanging out and then suddenly a crowd's in here." He pouts playfully as he pinches your cheek. You pinch his side in return to which he yelps in response.

"Is it so bad that I want to hangout with my friends and my boyfriend? I missed them." You retort as you hug him closer. He hums against your hair, arm under your head and his other hand caressing your waist.

"I missed you. Why don't you give me a kiss, hm?."

"No way." You raise your eyebrows at him with a stern look. He only dismisses it as he tries to lean in but you cover his mouth with your hand.

"C'mon." He whines as he removes your hand from covering his mouth. "Just a little peck?"

"Last time I allowed you to do this, we almost got caught. I'd rather not add their horrified faces with Professor Garlick's wink in my memory. I've had enough trauma this year, thank you." You reminded him with a sigh. Ever the clingy lover that he is, after your Herbology class had asked you for some affection and attention which had escalated to something more intimate. You had positioned yourselves in a bad corner which allowed Professor Garlick to catch you red handed. With your reputation as a good student and a Hero of Hogwarts as well as having a good mentor-student relationship with her, the young professor had dismissed it and claimed that she had not seen anything. Only sending you a teasing wink before moving along. You were mortified.

"They won't mind." He smiles, brushing a stray hair away from your face. "Besides, they won't see you."

Sebastian had grown out to be a wondrous and handsome man after first meeting him in your fifth year. He had grown taller, fitter and broader as a 7th year and it doesn't help that he'd more often than not, use it to his advantage to fluster you. The man knows he's attractive.

You roll your eyes at him. "Just one."

"Just one." He repeats. You raise your chin at him as he dives to place a kiss on your lips. The hand on your waist pulls you close as he tenderly moves his lips against yours. It continues on for a few seconds before he suddenly pinches your waist, making you gasp and opening your mouth in the process. Sebastian uses this opportunity to slide his tongue in. Cheeky bastard.

You softly sigh at the contact of his tongue against yours, his free hand now on the side of your face, angling it to kiss you deeper. The kiss is soft and slow allowing you to just bask in his presence. It's not fast and aggressive enough to create a fire in the depths of your stomachs but passionate enough for you to feel the spark between the two of you.

He continues to kiss you in soft pecks as he gently opens his eyes, staring at your blissed out face as you take what he gives you. "Pretty."

You only hum, lost in his affections. You could've let yourself be babied right there and then if it weren't for someone clearing their throat.

"You could've waited for us to leave the room before you ate each other's face off." Imelda cringes in disgust as she stands up from her seat. "I'll be joining Poppy now. It's like watching my parents snog each other. I'm afraid that I'd do an unforgivable on myself if I stay any further."

Sebastian gives her his middle finger as he continues to kiss you. The Slytherin girl leaves with haste as she enters the vivarium. Poppy looks at her with confusion as Imelda talks animatedly, probably ranting about her issues with Sebastian Sallow. Natty rolls her eyes as she places down her teacup to join the two other girls.

"It's best to leave the room, Ominis. Just in case those two might do something.... inappropriate." Natty laughs as she enters the vivarium as well. You would've been embarrassed by the situation if it weren't for Sebastian's constant kisses on your face.

"Again, thank Merlin, I'm blind." Ominis sighs as he stands up as well. He stops for a moment before smirking. "Make sure to use protection!"

"Fuck you, Ominis. Leave!" Sebastian playfully yells to which the young Gaunt laughs before entering the vivarium as well. The Sallow boy turns to you with a flushed face.

"You need to learn some self control, young man." You tap his nose as you smile at him.

"Have you seen yourself?" He jokes as he rubs his nose against yours, basking in your laughter. He then feels your arms around his neck, forcing his face to be close to yours.

"Anyway, who said you could stop?" You whisper as your eyes glance at his lips. Sebastian only smirks at you before brushing his lips against yours.

"Yes ma'am."

A/N: when i wrote that scene when sebastian crawled on the couch to grab u in his arms, yk that dog that creeps up on her owner before attacking her yea thats it. i think her name was coconut. kinda funny. anys another seb fluff for the people.

#sebastian sallow x reader #sebastian sallow #hogwarts legacy x reader #hogwarts legacy #ominis gaunt #poppy sweeting #natsai onai #imelda reyes

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teecupangel · 5 months

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Inspired by the bullfrog assassin thing going around, but also the 'toad' status ailment from final fantasy 7. Desmond as a 2 foot tall (3 foot with fully extended legs) frog of some variety helping his ancestors kick ass. Or he's just a good distraction. He for sure gets thrown at a Templar by someone, likely Edward. (And he keeps those pesky bugs out of the mentor's office.)

The Bullfrog Assassin in question is Bullfrog from Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix, the best boi.

I like the idea that Desmond spent most of his time as an actual frog but his frog form is similar to how they look in FFVIIR where there’s something unique about the frog.

In Desmond’s case, he’s an albino frog with red lines on his belly and head that is similar to the red lining of his hoodie but with a beaked hood and his back as the Assassin insignia in red.

He’s quite strange as a frog and many assume he might be venomous but he’s really not. The most he could do is be a distract or be used as a distracting projectile weapon (Edward Kenway’s signature move).

Then…

He interacts with a POE and he would have a minute or so (depending on how much ‘battery’ the POE has left) and he’d be able to transform into a similar stature and look as Bullfrog, complete with his own Assassin robes.

And, during this state, Desmond can kick ass and no one would know it because everyone who sees this form will be assassinated by Desmond anyway (except his ancestors, of course).

The most pampered version would be the Auditore’s frog, of course. Mario had the servants renovate the gardens so he could chill there while keeping Maria company.

#desmond is turned into an animal subgenre #desmond is turned into a creature subgenre #ngl I thought you were going to suggest we put desmond in captain laserhawk’s world #he’d be bff with bullfrog of course #and might even be able to save him earlier #assassin's creed #desmond miles #ask and answer #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: assassin's creed

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thecreaturecodex · 3 months

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Hawktoad

Image © Frog God Games, by Stan Morrison

[When I was struggling with writer's block, I attempted to start a project where I converted a bunch more monsters from Sword and Wizardy's Monstrosities book. The hawktoad was the only monster that was actually finished from that attempt. Like a lot of S&W monsters, it combines low HD with high lethality, being a 2 HD monster that can start strangling a PC to death with a single hit from its tongue. The throttling critical ability is my attempt to combine that in theory with the practice of game design where characters are a little less disposable.]

Hawktoad CR ½ N Magical Beast This creature resembles a fat toad from the waist up, with a tadpole-like tail instead of lower legs. Rather than hop or crawl, it flies, gliding through the air as if it were water. Its forelimbs end in clawed feet, and it has a sharp beak in place of a mouth.

Hawktoads are magical carnivores that combine features of amphibians and birds. Most sages assume that they are unnatural creations, either the product of meddling mages or a consequence of magical radiation. They use their prehensile tongues to hold prey down while tearing at it with their talons. Their beaks are relatively soft, and more useful for processing dead meat than causing damage to the living. Although a lone hawktoad will only attack prey of its size or smaller, they become daring in groups, and may attack prey the size of a horse.

Hawktoads live in mixed-sex flocks. Unlike either hawks or toads, they are gregarious hunters, with multiple individuals dive-bombing the same victim. They lay leathery eggs, which they bury in moist soil during the rainy season. The young are precocial, able to wiggle out of the soil on their own and fly to join the nearest flock, which may or may not be the flock of their parents. Hawktoads take relatively well to captivity, although they grow listless and sick if kept in a cage instead of being allowed to fly free. Because of this wanderlust, they are popular mascots among nomadic peoples. A hawktoad may be taken as a familiar by a neutral spellcaster with the Improved Familiar feat of at least 3rd caster level.

Hawktoad CR ½ XP 200 N Small magical beast Init +1; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, Perception +5

Defense AC 13, touch 12, flat-footed 12 (+1 size, +1 Dex, +1 natural) hp 9 (2d10-2) Fort +2, Ref +4, Will +1

Offense Speed 10 ft., fly 60 ft. (good) Melee 2 claws +3 (1d3), tongue +1 touch (grab) Special Attack grab (Large), throttling critical

Statistics Str 10, Dex 13, Con 9, Int 2, Wis13, Cha 6 Base Atk +2; CMB +1 (+5 grapple); CMD 12 Feats Multiattack Skills Fly +7, Perception +5; Racial Modifiers +4 Perception

Ecology Environment temperate hills and plains Organization solitary, pair or flock (3-18) Treasure incidental

Special Abilities Flight (Su) The flight of a hawktoad is a supernatural ability Throttling Critical (Ex) If a hawktoad successfully confirms a critical hit with its tongue attack, it wraps its tongue around its opponent’s neck. This prevents the creature from speaking or using verbal components, and the creature must hold its breath or begin to suffocate.

#hawktoad #pathfinder 1e #swords and wizardry #magical beast #osr

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witchofthesouls · 4 months

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Okay I had an ask about a follow-up on the Truck dad and amnesiac bird son dimensional hoppers pair post, but I couldn't fit as more outright creepy/weird shit our boy do. A lot of hints, though.

Here's a piece on Jack's fondness for big animals and secrets.

Optimus should have known something was afoot with Jack, especially with his most recent line of questions and the new direction his drawings had taken on: a large, black canine in the desert, aerial views of the surrounding landscapes, anatomy of local creatures, and multi-eyed birds with strange trinkets in their beaks.

As much Jack was enamored with the animal companions in this universe’s version of the Ark and its Autobots, Sideswipe’s proletariat cat and Prowl’s turbohound were too busy to keep by the sparkling's side.

Despite the extreme species-swap and his regression to a child state, Jack had taken to his Cybertronian frame well. Enough that oddities could be rationally explained by the loss of creators.

(And if this version of the Autobots took it one way, then Optimus won't correct them, especially with Jack's mimicry with natural birdsong overlapping with newspark noises.)

Jack was generally obedient. He took heed of Optimus’ warnings to remain close to him and not to wander away in a certain distance.

However, Jack was good with words. Quick to find loopholes as well. He may not flick a wing-tip over the established boundaries to chase after whatever curious thing had caught his attention, but more than once Optimus found his charge scurrying out from potholes on the streets, broken entrances beneath buildings, and perched high up on the local greenery or infrastructure to peek at something, like a nest of local fauna.

Jack had said he didn’t leave the ship. And that was true. He hadn’t.

He simply coaxed the wildlife to him instead.

It was a hassle to smooth over the growing trend of murders and conspiracies of blackbirds hounding the nearby towns for cash for their “snackies” of seeds and McDonald's, then they uncovered his newest pet.

Not an abandoned dog, or a raccoon, or a house cat, or a hawk, or a toad, or anything Sparkplug reminiscenced over his son's mudpie days. Not something small, easily managed, and no threat to the human personnel.

Those strange grey-blue optics stared at Optimus so pleadily, arms wrapped carefully around the creature. The mountain lion, nearly full grown and quite docile in Jack’s arms, only grumbled, almost bored by the entire ordeal. It yawned wide, showing off teeth reminiscent of military-frame sets of sharp denta.

Animals, especially predatory and scavenger species, was something else Jack was good with, too. And Optimus had no idea what to make of that…

“Please, papa! I made her a bed and kept the wound clean!"

Oh, yes, Jack ran a neat, little clandestine operation in the back. Taking advantage that few mechs were willing to venture near the Dinobots’ living quarters and his own oddities whenever he sang to blackbirds outside the open entrance, he managed to squeeze himself into a nook between boulders that opened into a hidden cavern where he kept an injured mountain lion.

No one had any idea how Jack managed to keep the animal fed, let alone sneak it past the entrance. Too many eyes in the main halls to drag large carcasses, and living matter didn't do well with subspaces. Optimus could hear Red Alert's jaw cracking from pressure-related stress. No doubt combing through the security systems and finding nothing. Jazz and Prowl would be interested in the holes as well.

That was a large issue, and it needed to be addressed. Preferably away from the public.

“-and I'll love her and walk her and I change her water every day and I know how to feed her because Chickadee taught me how to how-"

"Jack,” Optimus interrupted the deluge of words, his tone gentle yet firm. He crouched down to meet those tearful optics, Jack's wingspan ticked up and down. The mountain lion's ears twitched but it remained at ease. “We can't keep her here. That's a wild animal. She's used to miles of free terrain to roam. Not being enclosed and hidden away on a ship.”

Jack inhaled sharply but said nothing in response. It wasn't childish defiance staring back at Optimus. More like guardian possessiveness: Mineminemine, Jack's entire frame projected, dropping away the usual behavior of staying hidden.

“You and I must return to our universe. We can't bring this one, especially into an environment she has no experience in. It would be cruel to do so. Even if we release her back at our base, everything she knew would be either too different or nonexistent. Remember your exploration of the places you once lived in?”

Jack hiccuped out a warbling noise at the reminder, and Optimus could feel a few mechs’ willpower crumbling away at that sound. He coiled his field around the boy, and Jack immediately latched onto him, anchoring deep as he leveled out the sharp notes and soothed away the hurts.

“We can find a suitable wildlife rehab or a sanctuary.”

"Can we visit her?”

“I’m sure we can find time.”

#transformers #crossover #transformers prime #tfp #transformers g1 #g1 #parental relationship #jack darby #optimus #optimus prime #humanformers #humans into Cybertronians #creature #magic #maccadam #My writing #look some of the g1 mechs would have folded like a wet napkin if birdboy turned his teary optics to them #tfp optimus is made of stronger metal #yep it's g1 version of nightstrike

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useless19 · 9 months

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More playing with my spin on Batneko's Sir Bowser!AU. They did a wonderful picture of Bowser being knighted (here) that I mostly ignored while writing this.

...

"Feels like rain," Kamek sniffs as he opens the shutters on the morning of Bowser's knighthood ceremony.

"You're a blind old bat," Bowser retorts. "There isn't a cloud in the sky."

"Hmm." Kamek taps the side of his beak. "Mark my words, young master, it will rain today."

Bowser scoffs. Kamek's premonitions are only ever right when it's about stuff not worth bothering with. Who cares about the weather? Bowser's going to be indoors for most of the day anyway.

"Rain?! No way!" Junior groans and flops dramatically over the table. "I wanted to play outside today."

"You can play outside," Bowser says before Kamek can overrule him.

"As long as you take your hood," Kamek adds pointedly.

Junior grabs the waterproof garishly painted cloth off the peg and drags it behind him through the dirt as he rushes out. Bowser watches fondly. He tries not to dwell on how much he's going to miss the little brat.

"Bowser," Kamek only ever uses Bowser's name when he's being serious, "are you sure you want to do this?"

"The pay's good," Bowser says. "And I'll have good intel on the castle if it all goes scute up. Plus, you know I've been bored lately."

King Mario's disappearance has hit the kingdom — and especially the castle town — hard. It's not the same carving territory through depressed citizens with no retaliation from the castle to liven things up further. Even Bowser's rivals have fallen back, too used to the crown soldiers involuntarily being on their side.

The whole kingdom is uneasy and Bowser doesn't like it.

"I suppose I've never been able to change your mind once you set it to something," Kamek says with a fond sigh. "However, do ensure that you come back to us in one piece. I have no desire to raise another orphan."

"Don't underestimate me," Bowser says. "I'll keep in touch the usual way. Keep Junior safe."

"Always."

…

Rain spots onto Bowser's shell as he enters the castle. The sky is still mostly clear, so maybe that's all Kamek's warning is going to amount to. Bowser would prefer a bit more cloud cover if he's honest (which he never is); a mostly bright sunny day feels like it's sending the wrong message.

"Where have you been!" a blue Toad with an important-looking sash ambushes Bowser. "You were supposed to be here an hour ago!"

Bowser bites back the urge to step on him. He's on his best behaviour today and stomping the king's staff flat won't be looked favourably upon.

"Relax," Bowser says, "the ceremony isn't for another forty minutes."

"And if there's a problem with your armour's fit?" the Toad pushes. "If you got lost in the castle halls? If, great mushroom forbid, your monstrous appearance terrifies one of the guests and we need to take the time to calm them down? What then?"

"If I set fire to the noisiest Toad in the entrance hall, what then?" Bowser asks mockingly.

The guards around the hall bristle. Luckily for them, King Luigi arrives and looks relived to see Bowser. He's wearing heavier clothes today, a more royal-looking outfit (that would probably fund Bowser's lifestyle for a year if he swiped it).

"You made it," Luigi says. "Is everything alright, Sergeant?"

The blue Toad (who must be the supply sergeant that Bowser's been introduced to twice already) nods. The guards don't stand down entirely, which is the first time Toads have ever shown common sense.

"Just welcoming the newest member of our loyal knights," the blue Toad says. "And ensuring he knows where to get his armour."

"I can take him," Luigi says. "I need to pick up my knighting sabre anyway."

"I can send someone to fetch that for you, Your Majesty," the blue Toad insists.

"It's no bother." Luigi nods to Bowser. "I'm glad you're here. This way?"

Bowser falls into step beside Luigi. One of the more decorated Toads follows a far more respectful five steps behind the king. Gah, Bowser's probably going to have to learn enough of that sort of proper behaviour well enough to fake it.

"The staff sergeant wasn't giving you too much trouble, I hope?" Luigi asks halfway to the armoury.

"If a Toad could give me trouble you might as well sack me now," Bowser scoffs. He frowns at Luigi. "Were you worried about what I'd do to him? It takes more than that to provoke me."

A few licks of flame would've been harmless.

"No," Luigi sighs. "It doesn't matter. I don't want to unload on you during what must be a stressful time."

The idea that Bowser could be stressed over the events of the day is laughable. He's not under threat and (more importantly) no one he cares about is under threat either. It's a boring ceremony followed by half a day settling into his new role. He's already been briefed about where to stand and what to say and gotten a rough idea of his duties — mostly bodyguarding the king wherever his royal fancies take him.

The armoury is located near the guard barracks (Bowser has a separate room to himself given he can't fit on the five-bed high bunks the Toads use). Hot iron and weapon oil hits Bowser's nostrils as the door opens. It's a step up from the rest of the castle in his opinion.

Bowser's new armour stands front and centre on a broom-modified armour stand. Despite the armourer's protests about timing and complaints about Bowser's stature, it's ready. Bowser lifts the breastplate. It might not be as tough as his natural plating, but it somehow manages to make the king's coat of arms look badass.

"There's a mirror over there," Luigi says, while the armourer is fetching his ceremonial sword. "Should I call for a squire to assist you?"

Bowser snorts. "As if they could reach. I can do it."

Admittedly, getting the straps to correctly connect under his shell is fiddlier than he expects, and the mirror is too short to be of any use, but Bowser gets there in the end. Spaulders, poleyns, bracers, and greaves are easier.

The helmet feels like it's pulling at Bowser's hair when he puts it on. He pulls the mirror off the wall and lifts it high enough to see what's wrong. He readjusts the helmet so it sits properly around his horns and grins. Working for the crown is totally worth it; he's never looked more awesome.

"Ready?" asks King Luigi.

Bowser picks up the last piece, a sword as long as Luigi and nearly as wide. He gives it a few experimental swings before strapping it to his side. How a Toad managed to move it, he'll never know.

"Ready."

…

Luigi vanishes between the armoury and the throne room long enough to add more layers to his fancy getup. The crown on his head is heavier and more ostentatious, and he's added a fur-trimmed cloak over the top of everything. He looks more settled with himself than he did at his coronation, but still like he's a kid playing dress-up. No wonder he prefers the lighter circlet and plainer clothes for everyday use.

It's not the first time Bowser's been in the throne room; though the circumstances are pretty different. He walks in, purposeful, and enjoys the gasps and murmurs that ripple through the crowd at his appearance.

Bowser kneels before the king.

Luigi draws his ceremonial sword and thunder crashes as the storm breaks. Bowser grins. Finally. Let these poncy nobles have an inkling what they're getting themselves in for.

"Do you," Luigi says, voice clear over the heavy rain now lashing at the windows. He must have been practising. "Bowser of the Koopa clan, swear to protect your king and country? To uphold justice throughout the realm and help it strive towards greatness?"

"I do so swear," Bowser lies.

Luigi taps his sword on Bowser's shoulders, left then right. "Then arise, Sir Bowser of the Green Knights and be known."

Bowser stands, a knight. Until this moment, he hadn't entirely believed that Luigi would go through with it. But here he is, pardoned and ennobled, and wearing the kingdom's colours. Life's funny, sometimes.

…

If Bowser thought he'd be done once the ceremony was over, the next three hours prove him wrong. Apparently a lot of the visiting nobles didn't make it in time for Luigi's coronation and are using this gathering as an excuse to ingratiate themselves with the king. Bowser finds himself fighting back a yawn as yet another nobody stops Luigi to titter something about how well he wears the crown.

Even Bowser can see that Luigi hates those sorts of comments. Maybe it's a conspiracy to see who can get the new king to flip out first. Bowser could get behind that if it wasn't so boring.

He knows that the day-to-day reality of shadowing Luigi is going to be dull, he'd just thought he'd get through the first half day before falling asleep on the job.

"I know it's not very exciting," Luigi apologises when they get a moment's peace. "It's a shame about the weather."

"Are you trying to make small talk with me?" Bowser says, bemused.

"We're going to spend a lot of time in each others' company," Luigi says. "I'd like to be able to speak with you without difficulty."

Bowser snorts. They've been managing fine so far. Bowser hasn't even thought about making a single regicide attempt so far.

"Thought you'd be sick of talking about the weather after all that." Bowser waves at the gathering. "It's all I've heard from anyone."

"It's unusually stormy for this time of year," Luigi says. "At least it wasn't this bad on my coronation day. If it was, I'd never hear the end of ill omens."

"Like how the colour green's supposedly unlucky?" Bowser says, paraphrasing something he overheard an hour ago.

Luigi groans. "Please let me know if you notice Marquess Waluigi approaching again so I can pretend to talk to anyone else."

Bowser looks over the crowd. He's tall enough that he can see everyone except those standing behind Piantas. The guest in question is at the buffet table, currently more interested in the seafood spread than annoying the king.

"You should annex his lands," Bowser suggests. "Make an example of him to get everyone else in line."

Luigi surprises him by laughing. It's short and he quickly regains his composure. Bowser idly wonders what it would be like to make him lose control entirely.

"That's a terrible idea and I'd lose the Walands's support to boot," Luigi says.

Bowser shrugs. "What do they have? It's just rocks and garlic, right? No great loss."

"Several people would disagree," Luigi says. "I'm partial to garlic myself."

"King Luigi."

The newcomer's voice sends a chill down Bowser's shell, which he takes personally.

"Queen Gravely," Luigi greets her as politely as he can and no further.

Queen Gravely is freakishly tall enough to nearly look Bowser in the eye. Or she could, if she didn't have a short veil covering her eyes pinned to her (even freakishly taller) hair. She probably wouldn't look as weird if she had any bulk; Bowser's big too, but he's built on a sensible scale, not toothpick thin.

"Such a shame I missed your coronation." Gravely oozes faux politeness as she steps into Luigi's space. "The chance to see you step out of your late brother's shadow would have been to die for."

Luigi stifens. Gravely smiles coldly.

"He's not dead," Luigi says, voice wavering.

"Not confirmed dead." Gravely nods. "You are welcome to hunt for his shade in the Last Realm to put your mind at ease. You won't forget our majestic resorts until the end of your days."

Bowser's had enough.

"Sire." Bowser pointedly rests his hand on the hilt of his sword and tries to keep his face neutral at having to use a title like that. He's going to have to get used to it being constantly bandied around, even if he limits his own use of it. "It's time to speak with the Minister of Agriculture."

Gravely looks down her nose at Bowser (a feat very few have managed successfully, it's even more impressive considering he can't see her eyebrows).

"I would reconsider your choice of companions," Gravely says. "Your brother would have known better."

She sweeps away weirdly smoothly. She can't be taking actual steps under that floor-length dress, can she?

Luigi sighs and fiddles with the stem of his champagne flute. He's barely touched the stuff. Some liquid courage would probably do him good, assuming he didn't overindulge, it's always hard to tell with humans how much they can safely imbibe.

"Another place to put on the invasion list?" Bowser says.

"I'm not going to invade anywhere!" Luigi says, earnest and surprised, like no one's ever suggested he take up conquering before. "I can barely keep one kingdom in check, I don't need more land to have to sort out taxation for."

"Not even for someone who clearly deserves it?"

If one of Bowser's rivals had spoken to him like that, he'd have immediately set them on fire and started plotting how to dismantle their organisation and claim their territory. If anything, kings should have it easier, given they have actual armies instead of a ragtag bunch of koopas and goombas. Knighthood is so disillusioning.

"She admired her predecessor," Luigi says. "And given I was instrumental to King Boo's downfall… It was the right thing to do, but the Last Realm hasn't been friendly since then."

Bowser snorts. "Admired is putting it mildly."

Luigi looks up at him quizzically.

"One of my guys did some work in her castle," Browser explains, leaving off what kind of work Larry was doing exactly. "Apparently the whole place is filled with statues and pictures of old Boo. Like a mausoleum or something."

"That explains why she hates me then," Luigi says, resigned.

"So what if she does?" Bowser says.

Luigi just looks at the floor. Great. Having to shadow the king is one thing, having to shadow a mopey king is so much worse. Bowser racks his brains for something to distract him.

"Want to hear about the funniest painting my guy found?" Bowser doesn't wait for Luigi to agree before continuing. "Picture a romantic sunset over a pretty lake. Now picture Boo and Gravely watching it, all cuddled up… in a tiny rowboat."

Luigi laughs, surprised again. He doesn't look like the weight of an entire kingdom is on his scrawny shoulders when he smiles. He needs to find someone who can make him laugh more often, or Bowser's new job is going to be a slog.

#bowuigi #bowser #luigi #smb #fanfic #knight&king!au #now onto part 3 i guess #still rushed and unedited #i'll clean them all up once i'm sure i'm finished with this au #i've realised i write a lot more colloquially in my first draft #also apologies for my lack of research into real knights

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cottoncandiescupcakes · 4 months

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Weirdest Dutch words when literally translated.

Peanut butter = pindakaas = peanut cheese

Ladybug = lieveheersbeestje = sweet ruling small beast

Other word for lady bug = kapoentje = a word also used for a small rooster

Sandwich = boterham = butter ham

Hippo = nijlpaard = horse of the nile

Some weird cuss words:

mierenneuker = ant fucker

kloothommel = ball sack bumblebee

Pissebed = isopod. 'Pee in bed'

Oorwurm = ear worm or earwig

ijsberen = polar bearing aka pacing back and forth

pannekoek = pancake, also used to call someone an idiot.

The word 'gadverdamme' which basically means disgusting or ew, also shortened into 'gadver'

is a word taken from the cuss word 'godverdomme' which means god damn me, also shortened into 'godver'.

Pestlijer = plague sufferer. Other used with tyfus (typhus) and kanker (cancer)

Val dood = fall to your death

Ga naar de hel = go to hell

More word random words

Eekhoorn = squirrel aka old word for oak tree horn

Eenhoorn = unicorn aka one horn

Neushoorn = rhino aka nose horn

Patatje oorlog = war fries. French fries with peanut sauce, mayonaise and raw chopped onions. Way better than it sounds.

Hollandse nieuwe = Dutch new, the first caught young herring of the season to be eaten raw

Klok house = apple core aka clock house

Handschoenen = hand shoes, gloves.

Spijkerbroek = iron nail pants. Jeans.

@ is called an apenstaartje or monkey's tail

Schildpad aka turtle = shielded toad

Slachtoffer = slaughter sacrifice which is the Dutch word for ANY victim. Could be murder could be like, you got scammed.

The Dutch word for gums is tandvlees aka TOOTH MEAT

We are on crack

Slakken = snails

Naaktslakken = ‘naked snails’ (slug)

Mushroom is a paddestoel aka a chair for toads.

Vogelbekdier is platypus but it means literally bird beak animal

Huppelkut - skipping c*nt, a ditzy girl

Bakvis - baking fish, a teenage girl

Zeehond - sea dog aka seal LOL

#dutch #language #the netherlands #words #weird words #funny words #europe

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mint-termsandconditions · 5 months

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Kirby and Bandana Dee’s Expedition to Toadstool Thicket

Based off:

Some world-building for Toadstool Thicket because I was bored:

In Toadstool Thicket, you’ll find many inhabitants here, such as:

And most importantly:

Many craps decided to move to Toadstool Thicket after wanting to do more than just falling apart and exploding in a Kirby sub-game in a Kirby spin-off game (Mass Attack, my beloved). Craps love living in Toadstool Thicket and will clean up whatever trash they find! Which usually means they self-destruct, destroying the trash but also themselves in the process.

Tree:

Scientific name:

Arecaceae Muscaria

Other names include:

Palmstool:

The most common name for this tree is because it looks like a fusion of a palm tree and a toadstool.

Toad Trees:

Kids often call these trees Toad Trees, due to the Toad Trees having a large mushroom on the top of their base that can be bounced on. Most kids don’t know that toads can’t jump and frogs can.

Coconuts:

The trees mutated these coconuts to look and sometimes even taste like a mushroom. These coconuts evolved to no longer have their green outside due to their pattern being enough to ward off any animals. This energy that was used to make the green outside is now used to maintain their life expectancy. Due to the large mushrooms they host acting parasitic in nature.

Instead of there being a seed inside, there's a mushroom that has rooted itself in the meat of the shell. The mushroom seed makes the coconut dangerous to eat, but it's not impossible. With enough skill, the inhabitants of Toadstool Thicket learned to carefully remove the roots from the meat, allowing it to be consumed. The water, on the other hand, is much easier to prepare by filtering it through activated carbon.

The meat on the outside of the shell has the texture of a mushroom and the flavor of a coconut. The coconut water, on the other hand, is more complicated. Depending on how big the mushroom in the coconut is, the water can have a broth-like taste to it.

Notice the graph above:

Dot 1:

At dot 1, the mushroom is small, basically giving the coconut the classic coconut taste with barely any hint of mushroom.

Dot 2:

At dot 2, the mushroom is at its ideal size, the coconut water has a mushroom broth flavor with hints of coconut to balance out the saltiness of the mushroom. Perfect for any recipe that includes these coconuts. Chefs have killed to get the perfect coconut. It's also great bragging rights to say your dish is all natural and not modified to taste like the ideal coconut.

Dot 3:

At dot 3, the mushroom is large, giving the water a mushroom broth taste that's a bit too salty for anyone's liking.

Some dishes that can be made using the coconuts:

The coconut shells can also be used in dyes and give off a lovely red to maroon color.

Bird Statues:

These bird statues can be found everywhere in Toadstool Thicket. No one knows why they were made, but popular theories are:

-They were made to please their gods

-They were made in the image of their gods but were also used as guides to keep track of where you were in the forest

-They were made for their rulers who usually associated themselves with the gods.

But the even stranger thing about these statues is that there's a third version of this bird statue with longer wings but their heads are completely destroyed and with what researchers assume to be the beak, tucked under their wing. And unlike the other statues, are hollow.

There are three popular theories about what this statue could've been:

Theory #1:

They were large instruments designed to be performed for the Gods.

The reason for this is because the statue closely resembles a Bird God who is the embodiment of music and karma. This is due to its large wings and tail. There are also traces of DNA inside these mysterious statues.

Theory #2:

They were used to contain and filter water. This is because the statue could also resemble the Bird Goddess of water and life, who also had large wings and a tail. This one is the weakest theory of all three.

Theory #3:

They were used as coffins to respect and bury the dead. This is because (this is the final one) the statue could also resemble the Bird God of death. Along with the DNA that was mentioned earlier found inside the statue.

Alternatively, there's another theory that stems from the previous one that the statues were used for punishment. Forcing the person who has committed the crime to be trapped and sealed away in the statue until they die. This is because some people believe that the Bird God of music and karma is the same as the Bird God of death, making this an oddly poetic way to punish criminals. The DNA, and a more recent discovery that the old civilization was more strict on what was right or wrong with them having punishments being cruel and unusual, like eating a coconut with its shell on.

That’s all I want to say about Toadstool Thicket

I’m going to watch Over the Garden Wall now.

#kirby #kirby fanart #bandana waddle dee #bandana dee #kirby mass attack #I really liked the backgrounds from Mass Attack #And I also really wanted to practice doing more backgrounds #It’s a very loose adaptation of the background if you couldn’t tell #It’s not actually called Toadstool Thicket in the game I just called it that #Can you tell I was hungry when making this #This was also world building practice +food design #And you may be wondering why did I focus so much on the coconuts and food instead of actually expanding on the society #It’s because it’s Kirby #Everyone in the games are either obsessed over food and or power #if I didn’t go in-depth on the food then Toadstool Thicket doesn’t deserve to exist

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shychick-52 · 1 year

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So, in the EPCOT interactive game DuckTales World Showcase Adventure, there are seven countries with a different mystical artifact- the Seven Plunders of the World- hidden in each one. It’s basically a scavenger hunt, and the player (‘Adven-sharer’, as the Ducks call them) looks for clues to help the Ducks find each treasure and thwart a variety of villains from stealing them. The enemies are a mix of regular/recurring villains and one-time villains from certain episodes. The seven countries in the game are Mexico, Norway, Germany, France, Japan, and China.

When I watched all the videos of them on YouTube, I was delighted to learn that Gyro and Fenton are in the game too! They aren’t in every country/mission, though- Gyro is in the France mission and Fenton is in the Japan mission.

…I was shocked that Gyro isn’t in the Japan mission, because of his significant association with Japan revealed in the season 3, episode 6 episode ‘Astro B.O.Y.D.’! ‘Astro B.O.Y.D’ took place in Japan, which was not only where Gyro suffered a traumatic past that changed him for the worse (his backstory is so good, and explains why he became the embittered, distant, and seemingly arrogant present-day Gyro), but also where he ended up gaining closure about his past, the beautiful beginnings of much-needed character development and healing, and the beautiful beginnings of a relationship with his robot son Boyd at the end of the episode. If Gyro had’ve been in the Japan mission of DuckTales World Showcase Adventure, maybe we could have also gotten a Boyd reference or even a cameo, which would’ve been fantastic because that little guy and his relationship with Gyro are both criminally overlooked.

It turned out that Gyro's role in DuckTales World Showcase Adventure (where he still wasn't given much character development, but was still hilariously snarky as usual XD) was in the France mission instead.

Sooo, no Gyro (or Boyd) in the Japan mission. But surely Akita is the bad guy for that one, right? You know, this guy? Guy responsible for forcing Boyd to be a killer robot and destroying Tokyolk?

I mean, that should've been the obvious choice, right?? Sure, he’s only a one-time villain, but three other one-time villains were brought back for the game to represent their respective nations (Toad Liu Hai for the China mission, the Kelpies for the United Kingdom mission, and Hecka- one of the Valhalla wrestlers the family faced in ‘Rumble for Ragnarok’- for the Norway mission).

Wrong! The villains for the Japan mission were the Beagles and Mark Beaks (which make zero sense), who’d teamed up to steal the Illustrated Scroll of Quackagawa from the temple where it was stored. (More ‘Astro B.O.Y.D.’ erasure, ugh) Turns out Ma Beagle had Beaks design a robot lookalike of Webby to steal the treasure and frame the real Webby at the same time. The plan was for the Beagles to sell Beaks the Scroll so he could “add it to his extensive collection of rare historical manga.” Ok, then…

Well, neither Gyro, Boyd, or Akita were even mentioned in the Japan mission, but we did get one reference to ‘Astro B.O.Y.D.’! A very quick image of Inspector Tezuka (silent recycled footage from that episode) while Dewey was explaining that “local police think that the real Webby took the Scroll because the bot looks exactly like her.” So, that was pretty neat!

Ok, I admit that Fenton was the second-best choice for the Japan mission. Fenton’s role in this mission? Well... once Beaks learned how dangerous the Scroll’s powers were, he stupidly decided to use the robot to activate those powers because “that story would be trending for at least an hour!” So, they needed a “robot expert” to help them stop the robot.

Still, you’d think Gyro would be that robot expert, right? I mean, duh. It’s Gyro, c’mon, who else?! DX All the more reason for him to be in this mission, and they blow it again. It takes place in Japan and involves an evil robot, and they don’t use him??

(At this point, Fenton should have reminded them that Gyro's the real robotics expert)

Well, ok, by “robot expert”, Huey was actually hinting that Fenton could handle it because he’s Gizmoduck (which Dewey clarified)- a superhero in a robotic suit of armor, which would be more than a match for the robot imposter of Webby. Fair enough, I admit. I mean, Fenton’s role in this does make sense when you consider that. But still… it’s Gyro, man.

Quit squandering all these perfect opportunities to feature him (and Akita), DuckTales team!! DX

And even if Gyro still was banned from Japan at the end of 'Astro B.O.Y.D.' (even tho he was instrumental in saving the day and it was revealed the '2-BO' incident was neither his or Boyd's fault), there was no reason for Akita not to be in the Japan mission!!

Oh, and this post also explains how it was also a missed opportunity for them to reveal Akita ending up in F.O.W.L. in the show.

#ducktales #ducktales 2017 #gyro gearloose #fenton crackshell cabrera #boyd gearloose #dr. akita #ducktales world showcase adventure #character analysis #headcanon #bump

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