#bear aka Haechan

[renjunphile]

if my wishes came true, it would have been you | mark lee

PAIRING ✧ nct's mark lee x female reader WORD COUNT ✧ 12.0k TAGS ✧ idol!mark x idol!reader, exes!au, exes to lovers!au, really quite angsty, happy ending, fluff, non-linear narrative

PLAYLIST aka SONGS BY YN ✧ the 1 by taylor swift ; 21 by gracie abrams ; i miss you, i'm sorry by gracie abrams ; champagne problems by taylor swift ; in between by gracie ambrams ; somebody by hwasa and loco ; i know it won't work by gracie abrams, dancing with our hands tied (acoustic) by taylor swift

SUMMARY ✧ persist and resist the temptation to ask if one thing had been different, would everything be different today? (alternatively, every single time you and mark get a chance to talk about your breakup, it never goes as planned)

-

MAY 2021

"NCT are here."

You hum along to the track blasting in your left ear through the singular airpod. It's the first day of your comeback promotions, and while you should feel confident from the many months you'd practiced the song every single day for multiple hours, no amount of time could ever erase the nerves you feel each comeback day.

You're already finished with your hair and makeup, being the first to sit in the chair to give your members some time to wake up from their naps in the van. Though you should all be bright, awake, and preppy for your comeback stage, the reality was that all of you were obliteratingly tired from the near all-nighter in the practice room. Your makeup artists are true magicians for the way they cover up all signs of tiredness even under all those harsh, bright stage lights.

"Unnie, did you hear me?" your youngest member Kali poked your arm incessantly.

"Kali, stop," you whine, pushing her finger away, "I heard you."

"So why didn't you react?"

"Why should I?" you sigh, pausing the track on your phone.

She pauses for a while, choosing to craft her words before replying too hastily, "We should still go and say hi. Haechan is asking if we wanna film a TikTok with them."

"You know they only post with SM idols," you remind her.

"You were in SM too. It's just for fun," she mumbles, "You know how many idols feature on Haechan's private account. Please come."

"You're up to no good, Kali," you squint at her suspiciously, watching the room carefully to see if anyone had overheard. It wasn't really a big deal; all your managers were well-informed, just like your members, and your stylists were basically your friends.

"I already talked to our manager and Haechan talked to their manager," Kali wrapped her fingers around your wrist delicately, but pulling to encourage you to stand up, "Let's go."

The walk to the hallway where the NCT members agreed to meet the two of you wasn't exactly a long one, but the rumblings of nerves bubbling in your stomach made it feel like a million years. You weren't stupid; you knew exactly what to expect and you wouldn't put it past your maknae to meddle in a time like this.

"Oh look, they're here already," Kali was biting a grin behind her words as 3 figures came into view. Haechan gives you a warm smile and a famous bear hug before he was shoved away. 

"Noona," you resist a pout as one of the boys you had been taking care of since you were younger wrapped you up in a big hug, "Haven't seen you in so long. Missed you."

"Missed you too Ji. You grow an inch every time I see you," you also resist the urge to ruffle up his perfectly styled purple hair out of fear of getting hunted by his hair stylist, "I like this purple on you."

He gives you an appreciative grin and somehow you still see him as the tiny, shy boy running energetically around the halls of the company building after being chased by his fellow trainees. Jisung moves on to greet your member, who was still in conversation with Haechan.

It's definitely not that you dread having to face Mark Lee. It's totally not the fact that he's your ex-boyfriend. Or the fact that you're still in love with him. Or the fact that he's still in love with you. No, none of that.

Totally.

"You look really pretty, Y/N," he begins slowly, taking in your appearance in front of him, having not seen each other for a few months.

Mark Lee stands in front of you stoic, hands by his side and feet together. It's almost like he's fighting his instinct to wrap you up in his arms like he's done most of his life because you sure know you're having to fight that instinct too.

"Thanks, Mark. I like your blue hair," you smile softly, "How are you?"

"I'm good. Amazing, even. I guess," he's mumbling, running his hands through said hair you just complimented and you can tell he's nervous, "I love the song. And the whole album. I can tell which songs you wrote. You always make me so proud."

Ouch. It stings your heart whenever he says things like that. How could you have let go of someone so sweet?

"Thanks. Congratulations on your first album and coming back with Dream."

"Ah, thanks. I fought so hard to come back to the group and I'm really happy they finally listened to me," he began, "You know how much I love them."

"Yeah, I know."

You're barely meeting his eyes, but when you do, it feels like he's hesitating in his words.

"Mark-"

"Happy birthday by the way," he rushes out, "For yesterday. I'm sorry that I didn't text. Or call."

"It's okay," you reassure him, knowing that that was probably easier for you both that he didn't.

"How did you spend your birthday?"

"The members got me cake. Coffee, my favourite," you recount, "I did a live for a bit, but other than that we were practicing all day for today."

"Oh, I'm sorry. That really sucks," he frowns.

"You know how it goes. I'll have more birthdays to celebrate anyway-"

"But you didn't celebrate last year either!" he protests.

"Maybe next year, then," you pull your lips into a tight smile, "It's okay Mark. Don't worry about it. I'm not really fond of my birthdays anymore and 22's not a big deal."

He sighs while looking at you, "You deserve to celebrate your birthday no matter what. I hope you can find some time to do something  for yourself."

You chuckle lightly, "That'll be hard to come by. I don't know how you've done it with multiple groups all these years, Mark. I've only been debuted for three years and it's never got any easier. You were really stretching yourself thin, huh?"

"I guess," he's playing with his fingers, so you know he has something to say.

"Just say it, Mark. Whatever you want to say."

You can read him like a book and you've always been able to. It's not your fault that the book is wide open, as compared to the way you've always been- shut, bound, and locked.

"I just wanted to say I miss you. That's all. I just wanted to see how you were doing."

Thanks to the secluded hallway that Haechan had found and led you to, the coast was clear enough for you to close the distance between you and Mark even just by a bit more. His breath hitches as you place a hand on his arm.

"Thanks for caring, Mark. I miss you too."

He smiles at you softly and the two of you are so engrossed in each other to notice that Kali, Haechan and Jisung had disappeared a while ago. You know it's time for you to go back though.

The worst part of the whole situation wasn't the breakup itself. Of course, the breakup hurt both of you for a long time and you don't even think you're recovered. It did happen over a year ago, but that wasn't the worst part.

The worst part is knowing that every time you meet again, walking away hurts more each time. It's the fact that there's nothing you can do but listen to your heart break with each step you take away from each other. It's the fact that there's nothing you can do about the fact that you still love each other more than anything else in this world.

-

2014

Mark Lee was known to be SM's golden child. In the future, he'd be known as the most over-worked in the company, due to his talents and resilience, but now, he's just Mark Lee, second to you.

You'd done everything before Mark. You were born first. You moved to Korea first. You beat him joining the company by 6 months and you beat him getting announced as part of SM Rookies just by 7 days.

None of that mattered because it was always just you and him together, wherever. Sure, you trained and practiced separately, but lunchtimes, downtimes, company gatherings- it was always the two of you attached to the hip. There was really nothing the company could say- the two of you were barely 15 so what was the worst you could do?

"How long do you think it'll be before your debut?" the two of you are lying down on the grass in a park a few minutes away from the building. His hands are rifling through the blades, yanking them up every so often, while you made daisy chains quietly.

He hums in response, "I don't know. Soon I hope, but I've only been here for like just over a year. Realistically, I'd say like 2 years. Don't tell anyone I told you, but I heard Johnny hyung talking to the manager about some kind of project that the company has been thinking of for a while. Something about having a group with infinite members!"

Your eyes widened at the thought, "Wow, really? EXO debuted with 12 and I thought that was a lot!"

"Yeah, right? But there are only like 9 of us in SM Rookies right now. How many do you think they'll start with and how am I going to get lines in a song if there's so many of us?"

You nudge him, "Well, with your awesome talent and writing skills of course. I can't wait to see what ends up happening to you guys- oh yeah, by the way, how's that new trainee you guys are training with? Donghyuck, right?"

"New?" he sat up with wide eyes, twisting his body to look at you, "He's been here for like 5 months and it's been the worst 5 months of my life! He's just so infuriating. His voice is amazing, sure, but he never listens and is always talking and hanging off me! I told him that he makes me want to leave the company."

You laugh at his frustrated expression, "Ha, you'd never leave the company. You'd never leave me behind. Plus, I bet you'll be best friends in a few years. Opposites attract and all that."

"Hm, but you and I are quite similar. Don't you think?"

There were definitely some traits that you shared to both be enduring the same path. Resilient, hard-working, brave, and enduring were all ones. After all, it's a big leap of faith to train to have the chance to be an idol just at 12 or 13 with no guaranteed future.

When it came down to it though, you'd like to think that there were also traits you each had that weren't always necessarily opposites all the time, but traits that complemented each other.

Mark liked to talk; you liked to listen. Mark was optimistic and would always be the one to cheer you up on your particularly moody days. You were Mark's calm through it all. Mark loved to rap; you found your passion in singing. Mark liked carrots and would take them off your plate in the cafeteria and swap them with his peas. Mark's hands were calloused from his guitar-playing, while yours were smooth and soft when he held them.

"No, I think we're the perfect example of opposites attract."

"Well then that's why you're my best friend," he grinned over at you while you slid a daisy chain bracelet onto his wrists, "Forever and whenever."

"Always," you grinned.

-

AUGUST 2021

"What are you doing here?"

"No happy birthday Mark?" he teases, holding a bouquet of flowers and a grocery store plastic bag in his hands on your doorstep.

"Come in before anyone sees you," you pull him inside your dorm, sticking your head out the hallway to see if it was empty, "How did you get here?"

"Relax, Y/N. My manager drove me and I was in all this," he pulls out a mask and a beanie from his pocket to show you.

"Oh, good. Happy birthday, I guess, but what are you doing here?" you question him again, looking at the contents in his grasp.

"Well, it all started when Hyuck said that we were throwing a birthday party for me. Then Jisung invited Kali and obviously, you too. And your members, of course. Then you said you couldn't come because you're busy," his eyes dart to the episode of Modern Family on your TV and the blanket lazily thrown on the couch, combined with your pajamas, "So I didn't want to come to the party anymore."

"But all my members are at your dorm," you frown, "There's still a party?"

"Yeah, I guess. Gives Jisung an opportunity to spend more time with his crush, which I'm sure Kali appreciates."

"So they're hosting your birthday party," you hum, "Without you? And you came here to what? Check that I'm busy?"

"I know you're not busy. Erin told me so, which I suspected anyway. I know it's kind of rude for me to come to force you to spend time with me when you didn't even want to come to my birthday party in the first place, but I thought I would try." he shrugs, "Is that okay?"

Mark is adorned in a white T-shirt and grey joggers. He's clearly not dressed for a party and your member clearly told him that you're staying inside and moping to your comfort show while you try to avoid your ex-boyfriend on his birthday. Plan failed, you guess.

Here's the thing: you've always been the worst at saying no to Mark. The one time you did, the world crashed around you. You would've thought it would have got easier to say no to him after already experiencing the worst-case scenario, but looking into his slightly pleading chocolate eyes shows you otherwise.

"Of course, Mark. You're the birthday boy," you finally say after a period of silence where Mark felt like his heart was thumping out of his chest.

"There's no one else I'd rather spend my birthday with," he hums lightly, even though his words are loaded, "Here, a big bouquet for missing last year too."

The tradition started on his 15th birthday in 2014. Even though it was his birthday, he had got you a bouquet of flowers to thank you for being his best friend of one year and making him feel all the more comfortable in his first year in Korea. You were his dance partner, his classmate, his fellow English speaker, and his best friend. He got you flowers again the next year, then the year after, and again and again for being his partner through everything.

The last birthday you shared with Mark before the two of you broke up was his 20th birthday in 2019 and he had prepared his own bouquet that year, choosing all your favourite flowers and colours and wrapping it all up himself. Mark was selfless like that- thinking of other people even on his birthday.

"It's beautiful," you examine the flowers- pink and red camellias and carnations, white primroses, pink peonies, red roses and baby's breaths. Taking that flower language course with Mark back when you were both 17 comes as a regret now, with the messages he's sending you through the bouquet. You hope it's just a coincidence.

"Anyway, I brought us- or I made my manager buy us- some Oreo ice cream, peanut butter chocolate, some ramen, and chicken and mushroom pastries," he grins as he pulls each one out of the bag, "And I brought cake, obviously."

You hold yourself back from saying what you would say every time he presented your favourite pastry from your childhood home to you- 'you know the way to my heart'.

"I haven't had one in so long," you gasp, taking it from him and preparing your plate already, "Thanks Mark. Why are you so considerate on your own birthday?"

"I like to celebrate the people I love on my birthday too. I wouldn't be me without them," he plops himself on the bar stool at your breakfast bar while you sigh hopelessly. He'll never leave your heart alone, "I wanted to soften the blow too."

You turn to him slowly, "Soften the blow?"

He sees the panic in your eyes and lets out that melodious laugh you've always loved, "Oh, nothing like that. Nothing to tell you. I just wanted to bribe you to talk to me on my birthday. I thought after over a year you might be ready to talk?"

"About what?"

"Us."

You thank the manufacturers of the heavenly pastry slice that only takes 90 seconds in the microwave. You set the plate down in front of Mark and take the seat next to him.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"Are you still my best friend?"

"Mark, come on," you began warily, knowing the difficult conversation you were about to have.

He meets your eyes and you feel the pain reflected in them, "When we decided to give our relationship a try when we were 16, we pinky swore that no matter what happens, we'll always be best friends. Always. Right?"

You find the power to break his gaze and stare down to your hands on your lap, "We did."

"So, why can't we go back to being friends? I know, I know when you broke up with me, you said that you don't think we could stay friends. I understood, of course, and I wanted to give you some space. Well, at least initially, but it's been over a year now and I really miss us. Your friendship meant everything to me even if I can't have you as my girlfriend." his tone is heartbreaking in the way that it's vulnerable and pleading.

"I told you when we broke up that breaking up was the hardest choice I'd ever have to make. It blew the choice to leave SM out of the water. I didn't want to break up, but it felt like I had no choice," you explained slowly, "When we first started dating, I knew I already loved you, but growing up together and debuting and going through everything I went through really taught me what real love in real life looked like and I could never have predicted at 16 how I felt for you at 20. Mark, you're everything to me, I hope you know. I said I didn't want to be friends when we broke up because how could I have lived with myself seeing you and talking to you still knowing I had you in the way that I did and knowing I loved you that intensely but not being able to show it anymore? How could I live with myself still having you around knowing I let go of the greatest thing that's ever happened to me?"

Mark Lee was brave at 16 when he kissed you for the first time and asked you to be his girlfriend against all the bans and rules. Mark Lee was brave at 18 watching you walk away from everything you both knew at SM Entertainment and for not running after you to stop you because you both knew it was for the best. Mark Lee was brave at 20 hearing you sob through the phone while you were halfway around the world because you just couldn't do this anymore. Mark Lee is brave at 22, taking your warm hands in his, and Mark Lee is brave when he lifts your chin up to meet his gaze and asks you this:

"Why can't we just get back together? This year apart is hurting us more than it's benefitting us."

People say that the eyes are the windows to the soul- that the eyes say everything someone can't say. Your eyes are filled with tears, yes, but also love and fear and all the emotions in between.

The problem was that your brain always rules your life, keeping your heart's true desires always suppressed deep within.

"Mark," you trail, before he cuts you off.

"I don't see the problem, Y/N. Both our companies knew we were dating and you're not a rookie in the industry anymore. I mean, we dated through your whole rookie era! I acknowledge everything you said and felt when we broke up and I wanted to give you time to work through those emotions, but I'm asking if anything has changed. Has it?"

"I've never stopped loving you, but I'm still scared Mark. I'm even more scared now as your career grows," you say quietly, "I don't want to hurt you. If anything gets out, it won't just hurt you or me, because I could take it if it only hurt me, but it's our members, Mark. You know how fans feel about idols who date and it's never ever as simple as 'if they're a true fan they'll be happy for me'. That's not how the industry works."

He squeezes your hands, "Then we'll get better at sneaking around! You know the boys love you so much and they know how much our relationship meant to me and they'd never ever get in the way of that. Or we can just text and call and I don't even have to see you in person when it's risky. I just want the chance to tell you that I still love you every single day as I promised."

There it is again, the sound of your heart breaking at the most loving boy on the planet.

"Will you let me think about it? At least about being your best friend still? I'm sorry that I can't give you an answer right now on your birthday," you murmur. The confessions from Mark came as no surprise, but he never fails to leave you speechless with no clear thoughts in your brain and your heart always full.

"I'm just asking for a chance. Just for anything you can give me," he smiles finally, "How about we eat all this and continue your Modern Family? It's still my favourite show, so I couldn't dream of a better way to spend my birthday."

"I'd like that."

-

2015

"I'm debuting," Mark barges into the near-empty practice room, huffing and panting like he just ran a marathon, "Y/N, oh my God!"

You're sat cross-legged on the floor with your phone propped up in front of you. Your eyebrows are stitched together tightly, indicating that you were probably either criticising yourself on a recording or trying to learn a choreography. The moment you realise that it's Mark, your whole body unclenches and you relax as you pause the video. You don't comprehend the weight of his words until he says them again.

"Y/N, Y/N, I'm going to debut!" he's practically screaming in joy as he belly slides towards you and crashes into you, wrapping his arms around you.

"Oh my God, Mark! Really? Tell me everything right now!" you squeeze him back, pride bursting in your chest.

When you both joined SM, you came with the obvious dream of being an idol entertainer. Sure, the company can make all these empty promises to you at the start, but with the way the industry works, nothing is really ever truly for certain. For you, the company had not given you any time scale or idea of what direction they wanted you to go in. You weren't even really that hopeful, considering the company just debuted Red Velvet one year ago, but you were still enduring.

However, it was almost time to debut a new boy group since it had been 3 years and counting since EXO broke into the scene. You were always certain that Mark was always a part of that plan.

"So, do you remember last year when I told you about the infinite boy group idea? It was true! The company gathered all the male trainees and showed them their idea- it's called NCT and it's so cool, trust me! So it's like they're going to debut groups within NCT like different members in each group!"

"Mark, that sounds amazing. Which group are you going to be in?"

"Uh, they said all of them?" Mark frowns in confusion, "Like the first is going to be this unit where members can switch out anytime and it only has a comeback whenever it wants to, and then the second one is like a normal permanent group which I think I'll be with Hyuck and the hyungs, and the third one is a group where we graduate once we hit 20! But I don't think that one's fully confirmed with members yet."

He's running out of breath explaining it to you and his eyes are going crazy so you just laugh and hug tighter, "That's a lot of information, but it still sounds amazing. See Mark, I told you that you're going to be the most important person in this building! You're literally the best."

Mark nudges you so that you break away, "Psh, shut up Y/N. It's still a few months out anyway. We're going to be writing and practicing the debut song for the first unit really soon though."

"And I'm so proud of you," you tell him sincerely, knowing that there are not many people who you can say have worked harder than Mark to achieve their dreams, "Do you feel scared at all?"

He swivels his body so that he's sitting in front of you and he starts playing with your fingers like he always does, "Naturally, I guess. Debuting is a whole new world and being an idol too, but this is what I've been working towards so why shouldn't I be more excited? I've been waiting for this day, but I guess it's human nature to have fear of the unknown."

"It's definitely not wrong to not be scared. I'd be over the moon if they finally tell me I'm going to debut," you sigh dreamily.

"And you will! They can't keep you hidden here any longer and you know that the company loves you so much! You've given everything for them so you deserve it all back," Mark is now rubbing circles with his thumb on the back of your hand, "I can't wait until we achieve our dream together. No matter how long it takes, we'll both be standing on that stage together as idols. It's so close now, Y/N."

You smile softly at the boy, ever the optimist, "I can't wait for it too, Mark. Don't let the fame get to your head so quickly and don't forget me when you're famous okay?"

"You're so silly," Mark laughs, "You'll always be my best friend- wait scratch that-"

"I won't always be your best friend?"

"No! You will! But this is literally the best day ever and I have all this adrenaline and energy right now and if I don't say it now, I don't think I ever will, but all I'm saying is that I've been by your side for nearly 3 years now and you're literally my other half and it's so goddamn obvious that I like you so much and I really want to be your boyfriend. Okay, exhale Mark."

Your eyes widen at his confession and you slide away from him in shock, "Wait, really? You like me? You want to be my boyfriend?"

He looks at you like you just grew two heads, "Y/N, that's literally exactly what I said. Do you like me back?"

Shyness begins to creep out of you while your whole face flushes red. You've never been the type to be shy around Mark, even in the times his words and actions make you feel giddy.

"Mhm, you're my first real crush that developed when we met. I thought I'd grow out of it, but it kept getting stronger the closer we got," you admit.

The first day that Mark Lee walked into the practice rooms and got introduced to the trainees, you thought he was the cutest boy in the world. He was dorky and shy at first, but when he performed in front of you, he turned into a completely different person that made you fall for him even more.

The two of you were the same age and he was your deskmate in Korean lessons. Though Mark had grown up speaking Korean, he had never lived in Korea speaking it almost 100% of the time, so the company thought it would be good for him to join your lessons, especially to get training for the language he would be using as an idol.

The two of you became very fast friends and by the end of the month, you were chasing each other in the cafeteria and sharing food in corners with your own inside jokes.

His face breaks out into a grin, tackling you into a hug, "Aw, my little Y/N likes me back!"

You roll your eyes playfully and shove him off your body, "First of all, I'm 3 months older than you, and second of all, you have been spending way too much time with Donghyuck."

"Yeah that little devil rubs off on people," he sighs, "Whatever. Does that mean we're boyfriend and girlfriend now?"

"Wait, wait, wait. We have to consider the implications! Especially if you're debuting soon! Are we going to tell the company? How is this going to work?" you bombard him with questions, playing your part as the realist in this friendship, "Is this a good idea."

"I mean, half the hyungs have secret girlfriends so we can ask them for help and at least it helps that you're in the company with me so if they do find out it's easier to protect the both of us," Mark replies, "I've actually spent a lot of time thinking about this, believe it or not. You keep me up awake at night sometimes."

"You're so cheesy," you mumble, turning away to hide your blushing face, "But I guess I do want to be your girlfriend- but what if we break up? I don't want to lose you as my best friend!"

"How about this then," he extends his pinky out to you, "Let's pinky swear that even if we break up and this relationship goes horribly wrong, we'll be best friends still. Forever and whenever."

His words are dripping with sincerity and it surrounds you like a blanket. There's no one in this world that you trust more than Mark Lee when you entwine your own pink around his and smile at him, "Always."

Your pinkies are still attached a minute later when he's looking at you with a goofy smile.

You glare at him, "What's going on in that big head of yours?"

"If we're dating, then does that mean I can kiss you?"

The thought of kissing Mark had admittedly crossed your mind more than you could bare to say out loud. You wanted to play it off cool- shove him and roll your eyes or something, but truthfully, you really did want to kiss your dorky best friend Mark Lee.

"I mean, I guess," you shrug, "If you want to."

"Ha ha, I do," he starts leaning in closer and your heart is beating faster.

This was it. You were going to kiss your best friend-turned-boyfriend in the middle of a practice room. He was going to be your first kiss too!

Mark's face is so close that you can feel his breath on your lips. You can tell he's never done this before with how slowly and nervously he's advancing, but you can see the hope in his eyes.

Your eyes flutter shut. Your lips are almost touching, just ghosting over each others.

"Wait!" you groan as he opens his mouth, "If I'm your first real crush, then who's your first crush overall?"

You smirk, "Jongin-oppa. Duh."

-

2022

This was the biggest concert of your career. Playing the Olympic Stadium had always just been a distant daydream - something to dream about just to amuse you or occupy time. You'd never thought that you would actually live to see the day when that dream came to fruition.

It wasn't even a realistic dream. No girl groups had ever played their own concert at Jamsil Olympic Stadium, but your group was going to be the first.

Cameras were pointed all around you backstage as you prepared to go on for your opening.

"Leader, give us a pep talk," your bandmate Yana whines while nudging you. You gather in a circle, pretending you're not deafened by the noise of your fans screaming just past the partition, where they're waiting in anticipation.

The 5 of you lean closer, putting your heads together and your hands in the middle. Before that, you make sure to look at their faces carefully and examine each member's expressions.

Jian is a year older than you, but she's nervous as hell and can barely get any words out. You're not worried because she's proven time after time that she's born to be on stage and that she completely transforms in front of an audience showering her in love. Yana seems nervous too, but she's better at hiding it and it comes out through rambles of sometimes unintelligible speech. Erin is gripping her microphone tightly with a poker face, probably recalling all of her raps in her head quickly, even though you know it comes second nature to her. Your youngest, Kali, seems the most excited. That kid is the most fearless idol you've ever met and you're grateful for someone like her on the team.

As for you? Well, you're a mix of all of your members. It's coming up to a decade now since you started training and you still have to take everything that this career throws at you one by one. The feeling backstage is not exactly overwhelming- it's more pride and joy and excitement to be out there and perform the best concert you have to give.

"No one can ever take this away from us. We're the first freaking girl group to host a show here! We've worked so hard for this and we absolutely deserve it. Everyone out there is here for us, so we should give it our all and play the best show ever. Don't let your nerves get to you. Just relax and be the amazing and talented performers I know we all are," you breathe out, "I'm really thankful for you guys and I'm so happy to have you by my side with me for this. We're exactly where we should be. I really love you guys so much. Let's kill it, yeah? 3, 2, 1, Fighting!"

Your members release a chuckle and you all wrap your arms around each other in a group hug. Soon, your cues begin in your in-ear monitors and you break up to take your positions on the platform that will lift you up to the stage.

The concert starts off without a hitch. Everything is perfect and the energy you get as each song progresses is nothing like you've ever felt. The sea of fans is expansive and blinding and you still have to check you're not dreaming every few moments. You eventually settle into the stage and the concert slows down a bit with your solo performances.

Your company had encouraged you all to perform something of your own choosing and while you had a vast repertoire of songs tucked away on your GarageBand, they were mostly unfinished, too personal or waiting to be adapted to your group to go onto your future albums. The song had to be something that would only ever be just for you, but something you could bare to release into the world for everyone else to hear.

Okay, so maybe you let your emotions rule you and get the best of you. Maybe the song you chose was the wrong one to invite your fans to insert themselves into. Maybe it was too personal to sing a song about Mark Lee in front of the biggest crowd you'd ever played in your life, but when else could you?

The baby grand piano is gleaming in the centre of the stage and your blue dress is sparkling from the way the lights hit the crystals adorning the whole slip. You're admittedly more nervous about this, but you think it's more to do with the fact that you know Mark Lee is in the stadium, somewhere.

Your company had warned you that if you wanted to sing this song, you had to do a little speech before that would throw them off your scent, "Hi guys," you pause for their screams, "I know you guys enjoyed Kali's energetic dance and Jian's amazing original song! For my segment, I thought we could have a little chill time and not to dampen your spirits, but I wanted to show you guys this heartbreak track that I wrote after watching too many sad rom-coms. I really hope that none of you guys can relate and if anyone ever breaks your heart, just send them my way, okay? I hope you guys enjoy it. This is '21'."

You let out a deep breath and remind yourself that this was the right choice. Your fingers glide over the keys perfectly like it's muscle memory from the year you've been working on the song. You send a prayer to higher beings that Mark won't kill you as you begin the first lines.

"I missed your 21st birthday. I've been up at home; almost tried to call you, don't know if I should. Hate to picture you half-drunk, happy. Hate to think you went out without me. I'm sorry if you blame me, if I were you I would. Thought you'd see it coming, but you never could. I still haven't heard from your family, but you said your mom always loved me."

Mark celebrated your 21st birthday with you. Public dates were not a thing in your relationship, but this man made every effort to make the best out of your situation. He kicked out your members from your dorm after enlisting their help to decorate the place top to bottom in rose gold banners and balloons. After taking cooking lessons for weeks previously, he had then covered your dining table with expensive cloth and filled up two glasses with wine to go with the steak that he had perfectly cooked all for you. He then took you to the couch and serenaded you with a love song about how much you mean to him and how thankful he was for you. On top of all that, you had boxes and boxes of presents to unwrap that were all thoughtful, beautiful, or meaningful. Mark Lee was the perfect boyfriend.

For Mark's 21st birthday, you were sat cross-legged on your sofa with your phone placed on the table in front of you, face up. It was as if you were waiting for him to be the one to call when you were the one who broke his heart just a few weeks earlier and asked to not be friends.

You were drinking the wine that he poured for you on your birthday and you were half-drunk, punching in his number on your keypad, because even though you deleted his number, you already knew it off by heart. There was just something in you that refused to carry it through. You were a coward and Mark Lee celebrated his birthday without you for the first time in 7 years.

"I see the look in your eye and I'm biting my tongue. You were the love of my life since I was young. When the night is over, don't call me up I'm already under. I get a little bit alone sometimes and I miss you again. I'll be the love of your life inside your head. When the night is over, don't call me up I'm already under."

Later on that night, you're lying wide awake and staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars that you and Mark had decided to plaster all around your ceiling when you were bored one day. The crowd seemed to love the song thankfully and it was easy to get their energy back up. People placed meaning into everything idols did, so you weren't surprised at the people who were making guesses about your love life and the subject of the song. Whatever, they'd never get it right, anyway.

Your phone ringing cuts through the silence and you curse, hoping it won't wake up the other girls in the dorm. They're probably dead asleep from the high-energy concert anyway.

"You're still up?" his voice is grainy through the speaker.

"You're the one that called. Did you not want me to answer?" you quip back, "It's the adrenaline, I think."

"Touché. I was going to leave a voicemail, but this is better, I guess," Mark uttered, "The concert was amazing, by the way. I'm sorry we didn't come and say hello backstage, but we really enjoyed it."

"Thanks, Mark and thank the boys for me too, okay?" you instruct.

"Mhmm, of course," he replies, "That song you wrote was good, you know. But you might've as well called it 'Mark'."

You're laughing softly at his comment, "I should've changed the number, I know. But shut up- if you know it's for you, then why don't you follow my words? I said don't call me tonight."

"I've never been good at following rules when it comes to you," Mark sighs, "Plus, there's not a lot of times I can just call you up like this. At least I had something to say to you."

"You can always call if you want."

"Would you always answer?"

You pause to think, but Mark takes that as confirmation.

"Have you thought about what I said? 6 months ago when I asked if you wanted to be friends again? Or even get back together?"

"That question keeps me awake every night," you joke, "But today, when I was just looking out at the fans and greeting the idols that came backstage after the concert, it really made me think about how much I wanted to be doing all of this with you. I've always regretted what happened between us because it wasn't a choice I wanted to make. There are no words to describe the way that love manifests in front of you from the fans. I always find myself wishing you were still here by my side."

"Hm, cryptic. Is that an answer to my question or do I have to wait another 6 months to call you up and ask again?"

"How long are you going to keep asking?" you uttered, the feeling of disappointment taking over your body as you still couldn't find the courage to finally give in and allow yourself to be happy.

"Until you say yes again."

-

JULY 2020

The world was still shut as you knew it, yet you were halfway around the world from the place you grew to call home. Your company was generous to give you two months off to spend with your loved ones, and you chose to spend some time cooped up in your parents' house and your childhood home because even though there were so many quarantining requirements to get between the two countries, you hadn't seen your parents in almost 3 years.

Of course, you missed your members, but you lived with them and would continue to see them nearly every day for as long as you could keep your career going. Of course, you missed Mark, but it's not like you could go and see him anyway with the tough restrictions imposed on the Korean citizens.

There was also one big- scratch that- giant problem looming over your and your company's heads. The bane of your existence and public enemy number 1 Dispatch had dangled over your heads the threat of releasing the photos they had grabbed of you and Mark abroad in Vancouver at the start of the year. It wouldn't have been damning evidence considering it was the only photo set they had acquired of the two of you, but you were holding hands with your eyes clearly in view. 

Your companies had threatened to sue, of course, but Dispatch has never been scared. Then, your companies tried to play the guilt-trip card and interrogate them on why they would care to do such a thing when the world was suffering enough as it is. Alas, nothing got through to Dispatch. Eventually, your companies surrendered to pay a preposterous amount to get rid of the problem and it probably didn't even make a dent in SM's savings, but it surely hurt your growing but small company even if SM took the majority of the bill. 

It was completely eating you up and tearing your insides to know that because of your slip-up with Mark, the trainees in your company had to get their debut pushed back by a good probable few years.

Mark had been the perfect boyfriend, supporting you through your change to your new company and your short training period before your debut. Mark had been there to metaphorically hold your hand as you got to know the other girls and make lifelong sister bonds out of it. Mark had been there to cheer you on in the early mornings when you were doing your first few stages. Mark had been there when your first comeback did even better than your debut and propelled you to the top of the industry.

So why, oh why, were you thinking about whether being together is good for everyone involved? There you found yourself in a dark room, the phone next to your head as soft cries and hiccups escaped your lips.

"Baby, please tell me what's wrong. I hate when you cry and it's really hurting me that I'm not there with you right now. Do you want me to come there? Cause I will! I'll say I'm sick or something." he's rambling through the phone and you can hear that it's raining heavily in Seoul.

"Mark, you know that I love you right?"

"Of course I do," he coos gently, "And you're my once-in-a-lifetime great love. I love you too, baby. What's wrong?"

You don't even believe the words that come out of your mouth when you whisper them, "I can't do this anymore Mark. I think we need to break up."

"What? Y/N, this is not funny," his voice instantly turns serious.

"I'm sorry Mark, but I'm serious," you're sobbing at this point and you're surprised he can even still understand you, "I really don't want to do this but-"

"So why are you doing this? Look, let's just talk when you get back, okay? You're coming home soon, right? Or I can take a flight there, but baby, don't make these rash decisions- we're just missing each other."

"The guilt is eating me up, Mark," you confess in hushed tones, "I feel like I don't deserve to be happy. And every time I'm with you, I feel only this sense of anxiety about being caught together that I can't shake. I love you so much, Mark, but I don't know why I feel like this."

"Y/N, we've dealt with so much over the years and we've fought through everything together! We can work through this together, I promise. Just give me some time to think about what to do and everything will be okay-" he's crying now too and it breaks your heart to hear it because he barely ever cries, "I'll get the company to pay yours back what you paid to those assholes. Come on, baby."

"Mark," you whimper, "I ruined the company. I don't want to hurt my members either. Even if we admit to dating, imagine the hate that my group will face! I don't want to let them down any more than I already have."

"I'll tell the fans to not hate- Y/N just tell me what I can do to stop whatever this break-up idea in your head is. We're meant to be, Y/N. We're each other's perfect match."

"I don't love you any less, Mark. Please remember that. I need to do this for my members and for my company that took a leap of faith in me. I don't want to walk away from you, but I don't see any other choice. I don't want to hurt you or your members either. I can't be seen with you."

His voice is small and strained, "You're breaking my heart, Y/N."

"And I'm never going to forgive myself for it."

-

EARLY 2018

This was definitely the hardest decision of your life and it wasn't one that you took lightly either. It was something you had been thinking about for over a year and more intensely when the company started to press you on extending your exclusive training contract.

Herin Seo had entered SM just before you did and she lived and trained with you. She was your best friend outside of Mark and it broke your heart when she left the company only after 4 years in 2017. There were only a few months left on her contract, but she was desperate to get an out and an idol survival show finally gave her the motivation to break free.

Right now, she's taking the seat in front of you after setting down your favourite drinks from your favourite cafe that she still remembers, "Iced vanilla matcha latte for me and an iced oat latte for my best friend."

"You're the best Herin! My treat next time," you promise as you take the first sip. It's been a while since you've come to the café since it hurts to go when it used to be your spot with Herin.

"Well better be soon because I'm leaving in 5 days," she pouts, "I'm sorry I could only come to visit for a short time."

"It's okay. I'm glad to see you anyway after all these months," you grin, "How's settling back in Manchester?"

"I mean it's always been home but it took me a few months to really get to grips with the fact that I wasn't leaving after a week like I did when I would visit during my training. It's really weird to know England is now my permanent home and that I'm going to start school again there," she looks outside the large window that overlooks the river, "I really really miss Seoul."

You take her hand and muster your best comforting smile, "I'm really sorry that things didn't turn out how we wanted them to."

"Ha, it's not your fault Y/N. I mean, you're in the same boat; what are you planning to do with this contract thing?"

You sigh at the age-old question that's been plaguing your mind for months. In fact, your meeting with the company to decide your future was tomorrow and you still had no concrete idea of what you wanted, "I really don't know Herin. SM has been everything I've known for 5 years and everyone I love is at the company. I don't even know how to switch agencies or what happens at other agencies. At the same time, I know they're planning for a group soon, but I have this feeling that I can't shake when I think about it. I look at Jimin and Minjeong and my sweet baby Yizhou and I don't think I'm what the company wants."

"But they've invested so much time and money into you!" Herin furrows her eyebrows, "Surely they're building a group around you, Yizhuo, Koeun, Lami, and Hina! We were a pre-debut team! They can't just disregard all of you guys, right?"

"I wouldn't put it past them," you're fiddling nervously with your hands, "They've been good to me, but they're a business at the end of the day. I'm so torn up and I was thinking you could help me. How did you know that you wanted to leave the company?"

She thinks for a while before answering your question, "Well the survival show was just the reason why I left before my contract was up, but I already knew that I wasn't going to stay on and re-sign. For me, it just felt like I had more to give, but the environment I was in wasn't letting me grow anymore. I felt like there was nothing more I could give to SM. Even though Idol School didn't work out for me, I was still glad that I went."

You nod along to her story, "I haven't told anyone about this Herin. Mark's been bugging me about my terms for re-signing my contract, so I don't think it's even fathomable for him for me to leave."

"It's about you, Y/N. This is your story, your career, and your decision. There are going to be a lot of people that are going to be hurt or angry, but they will never understand what you're going through. Especially not the people who already debuted," Herin advises, "Look, talk about it with Mark tonight, and don't leave it until after your meeting because that might hurt more, but if he really loved you and wanted what's best for you, he would trust in your decision."

"You're right Herin. Thanks for being there for me."

So, you called Mark later on that night to come over. You had cooked up a few dishes for you to share and asked your dorm mates if they could give you a few hours for some alone time. Telling Mark was definitely going to be hard, but you couldn't imagine the conversation with the girls, who were going to be the most hurt. You remember when Herin left- you weren't angry, but you were overwhelmingly sad about the thought of the girl you started your journey with not being there anymore. That was when you started to question if you should still be there too, but you were scared to instill this thought in your other younger trainees that maybe thought they still had a chance.

"Hi baby," Mark is beaming when you open the door to him. He quickly shuts the door behind him with his foot and wraps you up in a tight hug, making sure to plant a kiss on your lips and then all over your face, "I missed your gorgeous face so much- oh my God the apartment smells so good! What did you cook?"

"Just some beef and rice," you lead him over to the dining table with the food set out already.

"Oh my gosh, you're so amazing," Mark smooches your cheek affectionately and takes his seat on the table. You had lived at the dorm for your whole time at SM and along the way, Mark had chosen his own seat at your dining table for when you had dinners inside, which was almost every date you shared.

You start with small talk, letting him eat and enjoy his meal before you inevitably break a little bit of his precious heart. You hadn't seen Mark for a few days since he was busy with some schedules, so he tells you all about the boys and what they've been up to recently. They're working on the biggest project NCT has ever done so far- a full 18-member release- and it's going spectacularly well. The album itself was a few weeks out, but each unit had been dropping some songs along the way.

"Babe, the company is throwing a release party when the album drops in a few weeks! Isn't that so exciting? They actually asked us what food we want at the party so we're all going crazy. I think Hyuck asked for a fondue fountain, so I'm dying to see if they'll actually give that," he's chuckling, halfway through his plate, "Do you have any special requests?"

Okay, deep breath. Now's the time. It's all or nothing.

"Actually Mark, I invited you over to talk about something," you begin and the smile on his face drops at your warning tone, "Please don't be upset with me."

"Ah, what's wrong?" he's pouting and you have to look away to get the strength to say what you need to. If you looked in his eyes any longer, you would find some reason to convince you to stay just for him.

"My contract meeting is tomorrow," you gulp, "I'm going to leave the company, Mark."

The sound of his chair scraping against the floor makes you cringe, "What? Y/N, what? What do you mean you're leaving the company? Where are you going to go? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I just made up my mind today, Mark. I'm sorry I didn't confide in you, but this was a decision I had to make for myself," tears are welling up along your lash line, "I spoke to Herin today and I realised that the only thing making me stay any longer was you."

"But you're so close to debut!" he's arguing pleadingly, crouching beside you and holding your hand, "Babe, I can't imagine this company without you."

"I'm not Mark. You know that I'm not any closer to debut than I was when I joined 5 years ago. You're indispensable to this company, but I'm really not," you expressed, "I don't want to leave and I love you, your boys, and my girls, but I think this is what's best for me."

"But where are you going to go?" Mark sniffles, "I love you so much Y/N, but what's going to happen to us?"

You shake your head at his insinuations, "No, Mark. Don't worry. Nothing's going to happen to us and I'll make sure that whatever company I join will know about us and protect us. I hope you'll find it in you to forgive me for this."

He stands up and wraps his arms around you from above, "I'm sorry for reacting this way Y/N, but there's nothing for you to be sorry for. I trust you, okay? I love you and I want you to do what's best for you. I know I can't make decisions for you, but I'll try my best to support you however I can."

You look up at him with adoration dripping from your eyes, "I love you, Mark. We're going to be okay, yeah?"

He brings his head down and connects your lips in the most love-filled way that your heart explodes in that familiar overwhelming feeling that Mark always seems to do to you, "We're going to be okay, baby."

-

LATE 2022

The world was playing a sick joke on you- it really was. There was no way your whole career wasn't just some April Fools' prank or that you weren't just the main target of some joke show.

You always prided yourself on being close with the company's staff and higher-ups. As a leader of your group, you felt that it was integral to your success that you were able to communicate your wishes and worries to the company and this gave you more creative freedom too. Apparently, the company too was getting more comfortable with you.

"What did you just say?" your eyes were incredulous, peering towards your sheepish CEO, "That's actually the worst idea I've ever heard in my life."

"Look, Y/N, you wanted a feature on your song," your CEO chuckles at your response, "I think this is an amazing idea."

"You're literally giving Dispatch a green light to release those photos. Do you want me to email you a picture of me and Mark making out so you can just tweet it from the official account?" you counter, "Why in the hell would having my ex-boyfriend feature on my solo debut title track be anything short of a terrible idea?"

"Mark is incredibly famous and incredibly talented," she begins, counting with her fingers, "You have high standards. We have a good relationship with SM Entertainment. Your fans love shipping the two of you together since you're in the same age group."

"He's also my ex-boyfriend. Is that not extremely problematic? Everyone will hyper analyse every interaction we have or have had and then they're actually going to figure out that we dated." you ponder, "The worst part of this all is that I know he would say yes if his company lets him."

"Exactly- he's your ex-boyfriend, not your current one. By all logic, he's now just another fellow idol or colleague that you can collaborate with. Anyway, SM will definitely say yes; look how many of their idols are in relationships or at least feature on tracks."

"This is all Crush and Joy's fault," you groan, looking at the pleased expression on your CEO's face knowing that she had won the argument.

When your company proposed the idea of having a solo debut to you half a year ago, you had vehemently declined the opportunity, citing it wouldn't be beneficial to your group as a whole and that you wanted to be known for your group and not your individuality. Your members, on the other hand, had different ideas and talked you into at least hearing out the company. You had really only agreed to the debut when they told you that they would give you full musical freedom and the help that you personally requested. It only seemed like a good idea when you realised that someone in the group needs to be the one to start doing solo activities so the rest of the group can follow suit. You've always known that Jian has been curious about acting.

So you find yourself swiveling in your chair in the studio, waiting for Mark to find his way to the room. It's your first time working together for your solo debut and the last time you had spoken to him was a text he sent you asking if you actually wanted him to feature on the track before he gave a response to his company. You begrudgingly replied a yes because even though you still didn't think it was a good idea, you couldn't imagine yourself working with anyone other than Mark. The industry was crazy sometimes.

The knocking on the door snapped you out of your thoughts and you jumped up to open it to Mark Lee holding two cups on the other side.

"Hey pretty. I got us some coffee," he pushes a cup into your hand and you move aside to let him in, "How are you?"

"Don't call me pretty," you mumble as you turn away to hide the blush starting to appear on your cheeks, "But I'm okay. It's getting busier with the holidays coming up, so you know how that is, but the company thought this time was a great time to work on my debut."

"I feel you," Mark grimaces, taking a seat on the other spinning chair, "Don't tell anyone but Dream is actually having another comeback. It's going to be out just before Christmas."

"Another one?" your eyes widen in shock, "But you just released 2 Baddies and I know you definitely have a repackage soon!"

"Yeah, it's hard to be part of both units," he sighs, "Cause our new album will be over 6 months out from Beatbox, but only 3 months from 2 Baddies. Whatever, you know I love what I do."

"Doesn't mean you don't get tired," you cross your arms, "Now I feel bad having you on this track. You are way too busy, Mark! Why didn't you or your company say no?"

He shakes his head to reassure you, "Nah, trust me Y/N; you're exactly the break I need from the boys. Besides, I've never had the chance to formally work with you, so why would I give up the opportunity when it comes? We always made a great team back then."

You smile fondly, thinking about all those times when you and Mark were young teenagers and would huddle up in the practice rooms writing songs together and creating melodies on your guitars.

"I guess we did. Anyway, have a listen to this track. It's just something I wrote a while ago, but it always seemed unfinished so I thought that a feature would complete it," you hand him a pair of headphones and gesture over to your laptop with the track already loaded up, "If you like it, you can do your part in the second verse, but otherwise we can start from scratch."

You watch his face as he listens to the song and you're endeared to find out he still carries the same habit of letting his face do all the talking whenever he's listening to something new. His head is bobbing up and down as he nods along to the song and you can easily tell which parts he likes.

"So, what do you think?" you inquire.

He has a grin on his face, "I love it! Honestly! It's a cute song about a crush, I guess?"

"Yeah, I didn't want to go with any song that's lyrically strong for my debut. This song's pretty unassuming and you know how important it is to the companies to have a general public-friendly song," you shrug. They didn't really explicitly give you guidelines, but you knew what the company was really looking for- a hit, "Can you work with that beat? I'll send you the song of course and you don't have to rush or anything."

"I'll see what I can do," Mark teases, "Can I get an insider sneak peek at the rest of the album? You know, feature perks and all of that."

You flush even redder than when he complimented you earlier, "I'm going to be so honest Mark, the whole album is about you. Every song I've written is about you."

He shrugs casually, "I would've figured. You're a big inspiration to my writing too. Is that a no, then?"

You decide that there was no point shying away from Mark's request, considering that he would end up hearing each and every song whenever your album came out anyway. Plus, the two of you were artists and you understood being each others' muse- good or bad. Mark had seen you in every vulnerable state possible. Showing him your songs that you were comfortable enough to release to the public anyway was nothing to you.

"You can listen."

You don't bother giving Mark any explanations for any song- he's the one that lived through these experiences with you. You leave him with your tracklist on the laptop and tell him you would leave him for a few moments to grab some lunch for the two of you in the company cafeteria. You were hoping it was going to be a quick trip down and back up, but you had run into a producer you were also working with on the album, and that gave Mark at least 5 songs worth of time alone.

What you hadn't expected upon returning was to find Mark crying softly, his sweater paws rubbing at his eyes.

"Mark? Are you crying?"

Your surprise caused him to jump up and frantically wipe away his tears, "Ha. That's a really sad album, huh?"

The guilt continues to eat you up from the inside out, "I'm not going to release all of them, I think. A few sad songs and fill the rest in with inconspicuous tracks."

"Well your songs are beautiful anyway," he gives you a pained smile, "You're an amazing writer. I just wish I wasn't the cause of your pain."

"Hey," you scold softly, bumping his arm with yours, "Don't say that. You were nothing but amazing to me. You made me so happy. It was just the circumstances around us."

He chuckled bitterly to himself, "If we weren't famous- if this industry wasn't so vicious, I would still have you?"

"Mark," you warn, but he cuts you off.

"Have you thought about what I asked you?" he interrupts, "It's been a year, you know? I still miss you."

"Mark, it's not that easy," you counter, "Nothing's changed!"

"It's either you want to be with me or you don't. Don't skirt around it and just tell me the truth, okay? It would really make working together easier if I know where we stand. I won't stop fighting for us until you tell me to stop, so tell me what you want, Y/N," Mark pleads, standing up to face you, "I'm sorry for springing it out of nowhere, but I need to know. I can't move on until I know to let you go."

You hate yourself for what you did to Mark. He was the boy that taught you how to love and how to love patiently, sincerely, and passionately. He was the boy that held your hand and rubbed your back when you cried and the boy that celebrated every success with you. He was the boy that told you how proud he was of you, even every time you felt like the world was collapsing around you. He was the boy who would lay kisses on your forehead and whisper sweet nothings in your ear whenever you faced another setback. He was the boy that made flowers bloom out of your heart from his kind gestures and the way he showed you how much he loved you. And if nothing else, Mark was the boy that made you happy.

You remember a conversation with your youngest member the night before. You had confided in her how nervous you were to work with Mark and she lectured you on finally letting yourself be happy. You were already a 4-year idol and Mark was coming onto 7 years. You weren't rookies anymore and you had solid fanbases. It was clear that the companies weren't extremely opposed to revealing that the two of you were dating back then, so she told you that it would be fine now. Kali told you, rather cliché-ly, that the heart wants what it wants and your heart has been screaming and begging from Mark since the second you ended that phone call with him all those years ago.

"Y/N?"

"Mark," you meet his eyes and melt all over again, "It's you, Mark."

Mark wraps one arm around your waist and pulls you tighter. The other hand reaches up to your face to brush your hair out of your face and cradle your cheek as he brings it up to his own face. Your noses are almost touching as Mark lays it all bare for you, "Do you love me or do you not, Y/N?"

"I do," the feeling is cathartic when you finally tell him and when he finally presses his lips in a searing kiss that sets off all the fireworks in your heart. The feeling of Mark is familiar, but the kiss is longing and hopeful and you can't get enough.

You're both panting when he breaks the kiss and he rests his forehead against yours as he laughs softly in relief. He's been waiting to do that for over 2 years.

"I need you back, Y/N. It's been the worst 2 years of my life," he whispers against your lips, "Please come back."

You smile when he opens his eyes. They're that shade you grew to love all those years ago and they're sparkling like the day he first asked you to be his girlfriend.

Nothing's changed in your environment, that's for sure. What you're also sure about is that each time you see Mark again, you feel a little braver and more courageous. Each time Mark tells you that he loves you even though you shattered his heart like glass, you feel like his love can get you through anything. Maybe you needed those 2 years to see what you were missing or maybe you were just stupid.

Whatever. All you know now is that even 2 years on, Mark Lee is still begging for your love and your brain is losing out in its battle against your heart. It might've taken you two years, but now you see that all you need is Mark Lee by your side to get through the torrential storm that was heading your way and that you were going to get out on the other side to a bright and sunny sky, as long as he was holding your hand and leading you.

You place a kiss on his lips that tells him all he needs to know, "I'm here, Mark. It's always been you. You've always been the one. Always."

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[kiachiako]

april nct recs

my library of favorites from APR <3 all creds to authors

[ sorted by word count ]

series

JAEMIN | better than your next (i'm the next) | @ddeonuism 11.9k [ part one ]

RENJUN | messenger | @dojunie — smau | You find a phone number written on the mirror of the Sulim Library's second floor bathroom. It’s scrawled messily across the glass in erasable expo marker, the handwriting underneath almost closer to hieroglyphics than lettering— and what you thought it read, was ‘SEND DUCK PICS FOR A GOOD TIME.’ (You suppose, in hindsight, it was a good thing this person’s penmanship was so shit— because if you knew what it really said, you might have never stumbled across the oddly intriguing inbox of one Huang Renjun.)

oneshots

[m] JAEHYUN | seeds of pomegranates | @anashins 29.5k — The day the god of the underworld steals you away, he expects to have found a timid wife to make his isolated life more bearable. Little does he know that the rose he picked from the garden called earth bears knives instead of thorns, and he might not have found a timid wife, but a queen with a heart as dark as his.

[m] JAEHYUN | hearts are won at practice | @angelwonie 21.2k — jung jaehyun is an obnoxious, way too handsome footballer whom you have no intention of getting to know. at least until a series of coincidences forces you to spend time with him, and you realize there might be more to him than what meets the eye.

CHENLE | potential | @rrxnjun 20k — rich kids au, childhood friends au, friends with benefits au. angst, fluff, suggestive | You saw his potential without seeing credentials. And maybe that's the issue.

[m] HAECHAN | monochrome | @sundaysundaes — Lee Donghyuck once believed in the concept of soulmates—how fate would connect a red thread from one lover to another, in a form of dreams and memories. That was how his parents met, that was how they claimed their happiness, and he wanted nothing more but to live his life the way they lived theirs. Until one day, as he sees her slipping away from his hands, he has no choice but to stop believing entirely.

CHENLE | i still love you | @xiaodejunletsact 17.4k — high school can be complicated. thats why when your crush of three years, zhong chenle, approaches you out of nowhere offering to drive you home you are right to question his intentions.

HAECHAN | free trial wedding style | @liliansun 10.6k — when a random, cute, guy comes up to you and practically asks for you to follow along, you do so without much thought. that is until you get home and see he’s your new neighbor who just might need your help a little more than you expected.

[m] HAECHAN + MARK | the girl is mine | @luvrkives 10.5k — mark and hyuck can't stop fighting over you. who fucks you better, who makes you laugh more, who you like most, who fucks you better, yada yada yada. but honestly, why argue when you would happily take them both?

JAEHYUN | love you goodbye | @serendipityseulgi 10.3k — the one with the story of dysfunctional love between you and jaehyun. aka, you both want different things and your love isn’t always enough.

[m] JOHNNY | color evasion | @ncteez 8.7k — or the one where you join a kink website and a specific dom’s profile catches your attention enough to actually meet him at a hotel and practically ignore your safe words bc man, he’s good. 

[m] HAECHAN + JAEHYUN | mine too | @waithyuck 7.5k — donghyuck x jaehyun x reader (f), smut, basically pwp

JAEHYUN | eye of affection | @aitarose 6.6k — for as long as he can remember, jaehyun’s world has been in black and white - giving him no reason to appreciate his mother’s profession as an artist and the beauties that art can provide. however, an accidental meeting with you gives him reason to doubt his former beliefs - proving to him that there may be true beauty in a world that’s void of everything bright, that beauty being the sunshine that you provide. 

HAECHAN | full of love (and stars) | @httplastic 6k — friends/roommates to lovers, light angst

[m] HAECHAN | unavoidable | @sunpopz 5.8k — after swearing to yourself you're done catching feelings for people; you meet someone who makes that incredibly difficult. you think you can avoid him... then you're assigned a final together.

RENJUN | hard to let go | @cinnajun 4.3k — your high school friend group had an ambiguous and messy end, and you never got any closure for anything. two years later, and lee donghyuck’s girlfriend lives on the same floor as you, and you’re forced to face huang renjun, whose abandonment hurt you the most.

HAECHAN | she's quiet | @ijuliet 3.4k — although you were not looking to make new friends, the ones you had tried their hardest to push you out of your comfort zone to find something abnormal for you. which is why you’re at a frat party on a thursday night, watching as lee donghyuck observes you from afar.

[m] HAECHAN | all bark no bite | @jjsneo 2.5k — lee haechan is the most annoying man you’ve ever encountered. but that doesn’t mean you don’t find him hot; and maybe that’s why he has you flat on his mattress one night at a random frat party.

JAEHYUN | in the rain | @sehunniepotwrites 1.9k — All this time, you were looking for love in the wrong places and in the wrong people. As a serial dater, you never thought you would find it in the pouring rain and in the person you trusted the most. 

. . .

ur fav recs n fics blog is back hehe | happy reading <3

xoxo

#nct fic recs #nct fic rec #nct imagine #nct smut #nct127 #nct 127 fic #nct 127 #nct dream #nct #nct u #nct imagines #nct fic #nct fics #nct dream imagines #nct127 imagines #nct127 fic recs #nct au #nct aus #nct scenarios #nct dream fluff #nct 127 fic recs #jaehyun fic #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun fic recs #haechan x reader #haechan imagines #haechan au #haechan fic recs #haechan smut #renjun imagines

[it-feelslikespring]

tinted glasses! — park sunghoon x f!reader

PAIRING -> ex!park sunghoon x f!reader, enhypen x f!reader (platonic)

SYNOPSIS -> after being falsely accused of cheating on your boyfriend park sunghoon and bullying his childhood best friend, you're promptly dropped by everyone you know. failing to clear your name, you resigned yourself to a life of loneliness until your graduation. it isn’t until two years later that your name is finally cleared. filled with remorse, your old friends try their best to reconnect and make things right— only to realize you weren’t the same person you were two years ago.

(aka: in which the enhypen boys try their best to become your friend again, especially a certain someone who still harbors lingering feelings towards you.)

GENRE -> smau!, non-idol au, exes-to-lovers (sunghoon), friends -> strangers -> friends (enhypen), college!au, pining (mutual/unrequited), fluff, crack, angst.

WARNINGS! -> slight bullying, profanity, manipulation, the boys are a bit mean in the beginning lolol, lowercase intended, possible redemption?

FEATURING -> enhypen, txt, haechan of nct dream, wonyoung from ive, karina from aespa, yunjin from le sserafim, and more.

PLAYLIST -> stereotype - stayc // we don't talk together - heize, giriboy // fine - taeyeon // freaky - itzy // ditto - newjeans

|| ROSE NOTES! -> hiii! it's my first smau, so i hope everyone enjoys this! please bear with me as i update and i would like to say, my writing does not reflect who the idols are in real life! this is a work of fiction. thank you!

note: this is a college au! so for reference, i'll list down what year everyone is in! this is so no one gets confused by the timeline and honestly makes it easier lolol

this will have some time-skips + flashbacks so for the past, ignore the profile pics bc im too lazy to change them lolol

freshman: jungwon, riki, wonyoung.

sophomore: dongpyo, sunoo

junior: [name], sunghoon, jake, jay, chae.

senior: heeseung, karina, donghyuck, yunjin

--

directory!

the simps | it boys (and girl)

one -- new year, new me?? [coming soon!]

two -- uh oh [coming soon!]

three -- something’s sus 🤨 [coming soon!]

|| taglist! (open): @aki1e @blossomnct @one16core @sserafimez @kwnshi @wen-yo @bwljules @abdiitcryy @hiqhkey @pshchives @sunshine-skz @hibuki-chan @blu3ming-hoon

#enhypen smau #enhypen imagines #park sunghoon smau #enhypen social media au #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen x reader #park sunghoon x reader #park sunghoon x you #enhypen social au #sunghoon smau #sunghoon imagines #enhypen angst #enhypen scenarios #👓: tinted glasses!

[chuubbles]

trick or treating with NCT DREAM!!

halloween is soon so why not write some stuff :)

🎵: monster mash, bobby pickett

———— ★彡˚✧

MARK LEE: 

definitely goes trick or treating with you

gets scared by those life sized animatronics sitting on porches

would try to get candy but he’d get scared something’ll jumpscare him 

pretends that he’s not scared when in reality he really is

putting up with all of these scary things bc he luvs ya <3

RENJUN HUANG: 

honestly i dont think he’d get that scared

he’d probably try to act scared for the thrill of it and to make you happy

if someone tries to scare him with a scary mask, he won’t flinch that much

instead he’ll give them a side eye 💀

whenever he does get scared though, he yells his heart out with that main vocal voice of his

JENO LEE: 

he’d just be smiling through all of it

his little (.◜◡◝) face every house you go to

youre crying because you’re scared? he’s just gonna do the  (.◜◡◝) face. 

definitely is a little protective and would hold your hand at ALL times

but if he’s frightened he’ll use you as a shield. (aka grabbing you by the waist and putting you in front of him while he’s crouching down)

HAECHAN LEE:

he’s honestly such a brat 💀 

he’d probably do that thing where he yells “WHAT’S THAT!!!” and you’ll whip your head around screaming 

but there’s nothing so you turn back around and he’s gone. 

still loves you a lot, so at the end of the trick or treating run he’ll give all your favorite candies to you from his bucket.  

JAEMIN NA: 

chill dude, and loves watching you get scared and have fun

he has to bring his camera so he can take selfies with you, photos of you, pictures involving you— yeah you get the idea. basically just you

probably not dressed up as anything; or he’s matching with you. (i keep on imagining bunny onesies)  

if youre too scared to walk up to a house to get candy, dont worry. jaemin will go up and get it for you<3

CHENLE ZHONG: 

brings daegal along (being a responsible dad)

he’s gonna be laughing 24/7 no matter what, and it puts you in a good mood too 

he’d definitely get a little scared of some houses and would be in on the fun with you

he’s probably wearing sunglasses. outside in the dark. like, midnight dark. 

if you’re ever getting bored or tired, he’s gonna bring you and daegal home in his tesla <33 

JISUNG PARK: 

dont even get me started 

hes gonna be more scared that you. like of everything. even some candy bowl or people dressed up at their doorstep

he’d put his hands up everytime he yelled, and would probably cover his mouth afterwards feeling embarrassed

this man will not let you go. he will hold onto your waist or hands until it cuts your circulation off

if you’re cold in your costume, he’ll bear hug you under his fuzzy jacket and will give you a bunch of forehead kisses  !!!

———— ★彡˚✧

chubbles’ note: AHHHH I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED ITTT…. ill also be taking req.. soon… maybe…… also tysm for all the hearts on my debut fic 😭❤️

#nct dream #nct dream reactions #nct dream drabbles #nct dream fanfic #mark lee x reader #renjun x reader #jeno x reader #haechan x reader #chenle x reader #jisung x reader #jaemin x reader #mark lee imagines #renjun imagines #jeno imagines #haechan imagines #chenle imagines #park jisung imagines #jaemin imagines #ffs #fanfic #reactions #drabble #nct dream imagines

[tinted-skies]

my first or last?

Mark `~ first.

He'd be your first and he'd make you feel as if you were his first as well (even if that weren't the case).

He would take you out whenever he found the time to and always ask for permission before kissing you or taking your hand in his... wholesome boy™, would never take you for granted.

You could swear he was the boy you were meant to grow old with but his insecurities would get the best of him. Was he holding you back? Were you with him just because you had no ex to compare him to?

Mark would refrain himself from ever being your last because he believed you deserved someone better than him.

Renjun `~ last.

After too many failed first encounters, you were now 30+ years old, working a random day job with no desire to start a romantic relationship whatsoever.

But unfortunately for you, the moment you decided to give up on love, the universe decided to send you cute coworker!Renjun to prove you that there is still hope after all.

He was kind, sweet and loveable but also very determined - hence why he didn't beat around the bush, asking you on a date quickly after he realised his feelings for you. Cue the start of a beautiful relationship that would last years to come <3

Renjun would be the reason you believe in love again.

Jeno `~ last.

Opposed to Mark, I believe Jeno's insecurity would be towards you (due to rough past relationships) and he'd fear that you wouldn't reciprocate his level of affection. However, after endless reassurance about how you felt for him, he was finally able to let down his guard.

Now you'd spend the rest of your days being followed around by a big baby who wants nothing more than to bear hug you and give you some cookies!!

This may be a weird thing to say, but in my eyes Jeno is a very responsible person when it comes to other people's feelings, so he'd find great joy in taking care of you and making sure you were happy all the time - aka the perfect last.

You and Jeno would have an happily ever after type of love.

Haechan `~ first.

Listen... *sighs*... he's a gemini.

I think Haechan would love to be your first, you might not have been his first but that didn't make things any less exciting for him. He'd have fun showing you new stuff and taking you on little adventures and everything would be so cute and chill but also intense because you'd both be so drawn to each other. But then, one day, he'd probably just get bored of it all.

And it doesn't mean he doesn't love you anymore (because he DOES), but the spark just isn't there anymore and he likes to live life always searching for that spark, you know?

I think it'd depend on the time you'd start dating tho. Maybe there would come a time when he'd want to settle and find a bit of stability, choosing to stay with you, as long as you promised to search for that spark alongside him.

Haechan would be your exciting and passionate first love.

Jaemin `~ last.

Hear me out, if I had to pick any dreamie to write a soulmate!au it would be this man right here. Childhood friends to lovers!au <333

In a perfect life you would have noticed the huge crush Jaemin had had on you all through highschool, and he would have been your first AND last. But due to your density college!Jaemin pushed his feelings aside, blaming it all on the raging hormones puberty came with (LIAR)

Although life sometimes got in the way, the world always seemed to put you two back together, and after years of trying to convince himself he was over you, he finally said "fuck it" and risked it all by confessing his feelings for you.

When you revealed you felt the same way, a weight lift off of his shoulders, feeling dumb for not having talked to you sooner. Little did you know that you'd be with him for the rest of your life, leaving you with plenty of time to make up for it.

Jaemin would love you through thick and thin, he'd want to be your first and last.

Chenle `~ last.

Chenle wouldn't give a shit if he was your first or last, he was  living his life and just happened to come across you (and well now he happens to be stuck with you forever 🙃)

He'd be a super chill but also very responsible partner, taking care of your financial bills, possessions, insurances... *insert other economic stuff idk shit about* He'd show his love through little acts of service but would never shy away from an opportunity to shout to the world just how much he loved you.

You'd be a great team. He had always seen relationships as something stable and long-lasting, instead of passionate and intense (contrasting with Mr. Lee Haechan).

Chenle would be the laidback but very caring type of last.

Jisung `~ first.

Let's be honest this boy would be a nervous wreck, and chances are you wouldn't be much better.

Jisung was probably one of those people who'd start a relationship still not knowing exactly who he was and what he wanted. So I believe his first love wouldn't be his last because he needed to grow and find himself.

However, I think if you broke up and later in life found him (and you were both single), he'd be up for another try, basking in the way both of you had grown so much and become more aware and determined.

Jisung would be the one to regret finding you first.

#mark x reader #mark fluff #renjun x reader #renjun fluff #jeno x reader #jeno fluff #haechan x reader #haechan fluff #jaemin x reader #jaemin fluff #chenle x reader #chenle fluff #jisung x reader #jisung fluff #nct dream x reader #nct dream fluff #nct dream imagines #nct dream oneshots #nct dream drabbles #nct dream scenarios #nct x reader #nct fluff

[neobubz]

okay, indulge me a little…i REALLY adore puppy love, and that’s the fic i followed you for! that being said, what would some of the side character hybrids be like in bed??? you don’t have to do all of them, of course! write the ones you’re led to reveal <3

- 🥨

first thanks!!! 💚 so happy to hear you liked puppy love so much! well…of course i can’t for the love of me talk about chenle and jisung (like i would adopt these two so i can’t speak about them in that way) i’m not sure if you mean write a short story each or just a small description here 😅 but…i’ll do a general idea here and if i manage to find some spare time i may turn one or two of these small descriptions into short stories 😉

Jaemin Bunny Hybrid: super energetic!! his off the wall energy is what actually attracted me to him first as a fan lol and for jaemin bunny hybrid that also translates into the bedroom. very active, multiple rounds, wants to make sure that y/n is truly spent afterwards only to have a major cuddle fest. sweet words being whispered in y/n’s ears while literally going to town. sort of like “you like the feeling of my cock inside you, princess?” perhaps in his baby talk voice. still not over the cute baby talk during the live when they were in germany. 🫠🫠🫠 his ears twitching, tail wiggling and for some strange reason i have this feeling that when he would cum he’d thump his foot a lot 🤣 it just came to me as i’m writing this. like it would feel so good for him that he turns into Thumper from Bambi

Haechan Bear Hybrid: it’s either one of two ways. the first way…lazy and just indulgent. like super deep thrusts low groans and growls. most likely y/n on top while his hands help guide you. super soft bedding and blankets. when i was thinking about his room i just envisioned it to be fluffy like if he just passed out from doing his thing on stage, everywhere is comfortable 😅 the second way…is rough. lots of dirty talk (a story where haechan is not dirty talking y/n is unacceptable lol) slight degrading, on the bed, y/n pressed against the wall, on the beanbag like everywhere and anywhere he will have y/n in the most animalistic way possible

Mark Tiger Hybrid: soooo…with mark i see it more as a slow stalking approach. of course he’s super sweet like he was with (y/n and jeno) but if we’re talking about y/n with him — every action is deliberate. eyes watching from across the room, slower movements, legit think of a tiger in the forest sneaking up towards its prey because that is what i have in mind for mark. when he gets his prey aka y/n…it’s sensual more than hot. soft burning touches, piercing eye contact, warm breath against y/n skin. hope this makes sense but yeah just super sensual

Renjun Fox Hybrid: no matter how many times i will write for renjun, i can only see him one way (someone super cute and adorable that i just want to take care of 😋) BUT!!! since he is a fox and they are known to be sneaky, his way of getting y/n’s attention won’t be as obvious as the others. subtle is the best word to describe him. in the bedroom it will be soft and sweet in the beginning. cute giggles and kisses. holding each other tight, but then he switches it up. every interaction he had with y/n was intentional. no moment wasted and it’s all been culminated for this moment where he turns the table on y/n. going from sweet touches to firmer grips. gentle moaning turns it high pitched whimpers. hot and cold, fast and slow…just lots of flipping the script that y/n won’t see what happens next 😉

well…not sure if this is what you meant but i hope that it gave you a little insight of what they would be like in bed. never truly thought about it when i was writing puppy love but i can tell you this much, after seeing haechan with his little bear ears…i instantly thought of puppy love and what his version would be like 😜 he’s so cute!!!!

Edited: okay so i just saw this and i had to add this…Jaemin Bunny Hybrid represented by Thumper rofl 🤣

#🥨anon

[babyblizzard27]

🐯🐻

#Markhyuck #mark lee #lee haechan #nct 127 #favourite #lee minhyung #lee donghyuck #fullsun #baby lion #bear aka Haechan

[njmverse]

Love, On Air | profiles

💘 intro + m.list

cupidyn: aka the og love guru in town, cupid. was part of the exchange student program who ended up being a permanent student at ever after high. runs a radio podcast show on MirrorCast known as Love Line, one of the most popular shows on MirrorCast—other than donghyuck's—where they give love advice and answers questions all related to love. cupid is everyone's friend (well maybe except donghyuck) equally popular among the royal as well as rebel crowd.

therealmaddie: aka yangyang as son of the mad hatter (from Alice In Wonderland), his friends and close peers know him as maddie. also is part of the wonderlandians who transferred to ever after high. sometimes it's hard to understand him when he decides to speak in riddlish (wonderland���s language) and he might come off as, well, a bit insane—but that's just classic yangyang. one of cupid’s closest bestfriends.

woodtaro: aka shotaro, the son of pinnochio. (his friends call him taro <3) he's spelled by his father to be unable to lie—which shouldn't seem as much of a problem since he's the most brutally honest person on the tl. avid nature lover. he's kinda, sorta, made of wood but it's complicated cause he does look human. cupid’s #1 supporter and also the one who humbles them. the other half of the duo of cupid’s closest bestfriends.

goldenhyuck: aka lee donghyuck, son of goldilocks (from Goldilocks and the Three Bears) he goes by the alias haechan on his popular news show dubbed as Just Right on ever after high daily. his show is popular among students to know the latest news and updates going around ever after high and his rivalry with cupid's show is enough entertainment for students as it is. is very popular among the royal crowd. he's kinda insufferable at times because of his natural tendencies of being nosy but it's all in good intentions.

applejun: aka huang renjun, son of snow white (from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs) also known as the apple of everyone's eye in ever after high (well most royals-) he is the definition of what a royal who willingly wants to follow his destiny looks like. prim, proper, and dressed to the nines whenever, wherever. very close bestfriends with hyuck and jaemin, who he doesn't understand sometimes, but still supports regardless—well, most of the time anyways. 1/4 part of hyuck’s main bff forever after gang.

starjaem: aka na jaemin, son of the sleeping beauty (from Sleeping Beauty) the life of every party in ever after high. he has a tendency to fall asleep at the most random of times due to his chronic narcolepsy passed down by his mother—hence his fear of missing out on most of his life—which leads to him jumping on any occassion to do the wildest of things. even though he's always up for a party or some fun, he's the most inactive person—it’s a rare sight to see him on the tl, except for when it's time to party, of course. after hyuck, he's the second closest bestfriend of renjun, they practically grew up together. 2/4 part of hyuck’s bff forever after gang (also very close friends with hyuck though they bicker all the time)

charmchenle: aka zhong chenle as daring charming (son of the Prince Charming) and the actual starboy and heartthrob of ever after high. also hyuck’s #1 supporter in every new endeavour he takes but would never accept the fact. acts like he's all that and better but is really just a softie </3. the biggest fan of whatever silent rivalry seems to be brewing between cupid and hyuck— and he doesn't even watch either of their shows. actually deeply worries and cares for all of his friends and siblings even though he's bad at expressing it. especially hyuck. 3/4 of hyuck’s bff forever after gang.

note:

↳ for convenience, all of them are the same age in this au and attend ever after high: a school for children of fairytale characters where they learn how to follow their true destiny of their parents.

↳ the initial royal (people who want to follow their fairytale destinies like their parents' did) vs rebel (people who want to write their own happy ever after) conflict is not mentioned or dwelled on in the fic

↳ renjun is mutual friends with both cupid and hyuck

↳ all of hyuck’s friends follow both cupid and hyuck on twt

↳ shotaro follows jaemin on twt for party updates but also cause he thinks jaemin is really cool

↳ chenle has two siblings: mark (dexter charming) and jeno (darling charming) who make random appearances in the au!

↳ cupid has a complicated sort of crush on mark for the past two years (it's unrequited)

↳ MirrorCast is like the YouTube of ever after high

send an ask to be added to the taglist!

© njmverse 2022 [ all rights reserved ]

#loa:: profiles #donghyuck smau #donghyuck x reader #neoturtles #donghyuck fluff #haechan x reader #haechan smau #nct dream smau #haechan scenarios #donghyuck scenarios #nct dream fluff #nct dream x reader #nct dream scenarios

[mariesocuniverse]

Relationships: NCT 127

Maeil (aka Daily)

there are two meanings to their ship name

first is, of course, their names mashed together but the second meanings is much cuter and the one fans use to explain their dynamic

When Mae found out their ship name was Maeil her first reaction was “Oh? Is it because I make sure to let Taeil hyung I love him daily?” while cuddling Taeil on a couch

he’s the same age as Mae’s older brother so she treats him as such

her brother is literally like “Are you replacing me with Taeil? I’m your reall brother!” and she’s just there sweating

part of Taeil’s hype squad and will fight donghyuck for the position of president

like the two were on vlive and spent a good fifteen minutes arguing about their positions in the club Mae won but donghyuck refuses to acknowledge it

he could be doing something simple and you can see Mae in the background with a big smile cheering

he’s also like her personal teddy bear whenever she wants cuddles and/or wants to rest

there are just multiple gifs floating around nct twt of Mae tackling Taeil for a hug or her just clinging to him on a couch because she’s either tired and wants to rest or just wants cuddles

absolutely adores his voice

there are multiple compilations on youtube about all the times Mae compliments Taeil on his voice and him just blushing the whole time

Maenny

was lowkey intimidated bc the man is a fucking tree and basically towers over her

but then he saw him play around with some other trainees and that thought disappeared real quick

he’s more like the protective older brother than like a parent like Doyoung or Taeyong

can and has used his height to his advantage when it comes to scaring people who hurt Mae or do something to make her sad

he was one of the first people who found out about her old company and he looked like he was about to storm their building probably would’ve if it weren’t for Mae

one of the first people she became friends with because he always answered questions she had when she was a trainees

before debut there were times people could see Johnny walk somewhere and Mae is just trailing after him like a lost puppy more like running because the man’s legs are long and he walks faster

there was this one time someone asked where Mae was and Johnny just shuffled to the side to reveal her behind him

his large frame was just big enough to hide her from everyone’s vision unless you walk past the two

you know that one vid of predebut nct performing Under The Sea with Johnny wearing the fish head? Mae was supposed to join him dressed as Ariel but the idea was cut last minute

there was this one time Mae couldn’t see something bc she was too short so Johnny lifted her up and put her on his shoulders

okay enough about Mae’s height

during shows he’s always encouraging Mae to talk more when she seems unsure whether to give her input or not

johnny, after an interviewer asks a question: “what do you think Mae?”

absolutely melts whenever she does aegyo because no matter how old she is he’ll always see her as the cute kid who followed him everywhere

MaeTae

honestly it’s hard to pinpoint where Taeyong’s protective parental energy started getting directed to Mae

like it might’ve been somewhere predebut but she doesnt know when

she’s like 50% sure she just blanked out and suddenly Taeyong appeared in her life scolding her for not taking care of herself

it’s not like she’s complaining abt it she’s really grateful to have someone like him in her life

when her family got worried abt her joining a group filled with guys he personally went to her house and calmly explained how Mae will be taken care of and how the group will make sure that she’ll be safe

first person to know if there’s something between SM and Mae that the other members don’t know about

he was also the first member to know about what happened with Mae and her old company

she knows she can trust him with anything

he found her alone crying in one of the practice rooms and she just poured her heart out to him

Whenever they go places as a large group he looks for Mae first before counting the other members

she got lost once and now he doesnt want her out of his sight for more than five minutes

she got him a “world’s greatest dad” trophy as a joke that he has on a shelf in his room

YuMae

you know how yuta acts with mark and winwin? yeah he does the same for Mae

if he isnt giving a hug to mark he’s all the way across the room with Mae giving her a back hug

Mae: does nothing

Yuta: aigoo look how cute she is :)

she doesnt ignore him tho she just returns the affection

likes to jump on his back for a piggy back ride or just run and jump to give him a hug

there was this one clip that went viral of Yuta talking to someone and he just pauses for a moment before turning around to catch Mae, who seemingly came out of nowhere, into a hug and turned back to his conversation

neither yuta nor the other person seemed fazed so this seemed like a regular occurrence to them

he teaches her japanese!

its beneficial to both of them because Mae can learn and Yuta won’t forget any Japanese while living in Korea :D

really really really loves his smile

like real whipped (A/N i wrote this while watching the under the sea performance and now im going through it)

like she sees him smile and that makes her smile and that makes fans smile

Can and has glared at “fans” and other people who make her uncomfortable whether it be at the airport or during their schedules

There was this one time Mae was walking ahead of him when there were fansites following them and he just pulled her back into his arms because he noticed an anti of hers was nearby

It’s like a lion trying to protect a kitten

2Young

again did not know how Doyoung because like a parent to Mae but she just ended up rolling with it

She just has this aura to her that makes you want to care of her and give her love

whenever they go eat together with the group he always put food on her plate, regardless of whether the managers glare at him or not he glares back anyway so they back off

“doyoung she’s been put on a diet-” “she’s going to eat whether you like it or not”

one time Mae got sick with a fever and he just burst into her room with medicine and soup

if taeyong has the “world’s greatest dad” trophy doyoung has the “world’s greatest mom” trophy that he says he’ll throw it away but has it perched on his desk

Mae’s also one of the members who like to clown him

she’s the one of the reasons he already has gray hairs

Mae has a folder of embarrassing photos of Doyoung’s childhood that his brother sent to her and refuses to delete it

she cant do anything about them tho bc Doyoung got his own folder of babie Mae pics courtesy of Mae’s older brother

Haechan has tried and failed to gain access to either of those folders

MaeHyun

major sibling energy

but not like the bickering kind of energy but more like very soft and uwu

there are a lot of people asking them “are you sure you’re not related?” during interviews and fansigns

Fans are just waiting for the two to do a duet bc come on SM you have a real life Disney prince and princess here

Let Mae be the Jasmine to Jaehyun’s Aladdin and perform A Whole New World together

She likes to poke his dimple

There’s this one vid where Jaehyun and Mae are sitting together and she just pokes his dimple and Jaehyun’s smile gets bigger

joked about if he could let her meet yugyeom and bambam bc of 97line and he just went no <3

when jaehyun was inkigayo’s mc nobody could approach her with the infamous inkigayo sandwich bc she was always with him not like anyone could try considering mae has several bodyguards wherever she goes

you know how jaehyun won the alpaca plushie in nct life? he gave it to mae bc he know how much she loved plushies

Honestly the majority of the plushies in her room were given to her by jaehyun

She has a bear named after him uwu

MaeWoo

Loves the energy he gives and thinks he’s so funny

He never fails to make her laugh whenever she needs cheering up

they used to be shy around each other when he first joined the group but they caught each other having a midnight snack so they just talked at 3am eating ramen until doyoung found them and told them to go to bed

now it’s just tradition for them to go to a convenience store together and eat ramen or whatever snacks they decide to get

nobody is allowed to join them its only a MaeWoo thing  

Mae has natural aegyo but Jungwoo has taught her to use it to her advantage which she does but not often

Another one of Mae’s cuddle buddies

She just thinks he looks so soft so she just clings to him whenever he’s nearby

Major uwu energy over here when it comes to the two of them together

idk why but i dont see him as the type to be protective when it comes to her dating

he’s more like

“you dont have a boyfriend yet? damn people dont know what they’re missing”

or on the other side of the spectrum

“good luck to your future boyfriend he’ll need it if he’s gonna date you”

2Ma/MaeKyung

Older brother that doesn’t feel like an older brother

Majority of the time he kinda just feels like they’re the same age or younger so newer fans get shocked when they find out she’s younger

Like there was this one time Johnny the two were playing Smash Bros and Mark was whining because he lost and Mae was jumping in the background cheering it was his fourth loss in a row but he won’t say it

they were kinda awkward around each other at first so johnny literally had to stick them in a room together and didn’t let them leave until they talked to each other

it worked and they just vibed and rambled about different topics like trainee life and what mark’s life in Vancouver was like

speaking of Vancouver

one time during their stay in Vancouver they wanted to have a friend date but he lost her at a mall and took twenty minutes trying to find her until she used the announcement service to call him

he wouldve ask his Vancouver friends to go with them but some of them had a crush on mae so no <3

When she first starting writing songs and her own lyrics she went to Mark first and asked if the lyrics she wrote were good

They were amazing and Mark made sure to tell her that :D

mae’s reaction to his dream graduation was one of the saddest things czennies have seen so when she found out he was coming back she would not let go of him

Literally could not stop smiling whenever mark was with the rest of dream filming for Resonance

It’s just very wholesome and czennies are willing to riot if SM decides to separate them

Maechan

You know how I said Maehyun was the soft and uwu type of siblings? Well Maechan are the bickering type of siblings

You know the ones who like to bicker over minor things but still would protect each other for life

they have so much dirt on each other on trainee days lmao

Haechan to Mae: lmao what a loser

Haechan when someone insults Mae: listen here you little shit

The only person allowed to clown her is him and the rest of NCT

he heard a trainee talk shit about her once and they still can’t look haechan in the eye

he’s only a few months older than her but he uses the “i’m older!” card whenever he can

“i’m older therefore i get to go first” “excuse me sir but you’re only three months older than me” “but im still older”

they fight for the title of the favorite 127 maknae but they both know that can do what they want

Mae is more lenient towards the hyungs during yaja time than haechan is tho so she just vibes whenever they go to scold him when the games over

they do team up a lot so they’re a menace when they do something together

especially in games

their competitive nature plus their brain power together? its over it even started

50% of the time they have to be separated from each other when it comes to choosing teams

the other 50% is someone choosing both of them because they want that easy win

Those two are willing to risk it all even for a bag of chips

#24th member of nct #nct 24th member #nct female oc #nct female addition #nct au #kpop female addition #nct addition #nct dream female addition #nct dream female member #nct 127 female addition #nct 127 female member

[jenoismydad]

I dunno if u do greek mythology crap but if dream had to be the son of the 12 gods/dess who would be their parent?

okay wait this is my shit bro *also most of this is heavily based off of the heroes of olympus series*

Mark - Poseidon. this isn’t because he kind of reminds me of percy jackson but it is totally because he absolutely reminds me of percy jackson. (i’m sorry but i can’t help but compare him to percy jackson) but he’s a great leader and is very brave. he’s also exceptionally talented and knows what’s best for everyone just like percy. 

Renjun - Athena. renjun seems to be one of the smartest in dream (not book smart but like street smart) hence he’d be the son of the goddess of wisdom. athena’s also the goddess of handicrafts and renjun’s good at drawing (idk how that connects but flashback to him sowing the giant teddy bear’s eyes on). she’s even the goddess of warfare (the logic part of it) and i feel like renjun would be good at dealing with warlike situations. (by throwing a chair on someone of course)

Jeno -  Aphrodite. she’s the goddess of love, pleasure, passion, procreation, fertility, beauty and desire. jeno fits all above criteria perfectly (some in reality and some in our imagination). jeno’s just so beautiful like anyone would fall for him and i see him fitting so well in the aphrodite cabin lol. like everyone wants jeno even though they know they can’t have him (well everyone except for jaemin that is <- btw that’s a friendship ship)

Haechan - Apollo. haechan is our full sun, our sunshine. apollo’s the god of the sun. everything just fits. apollo’s also the god of music and as we all know haechan’s voice is literally heaven. *this one was the easiest to do*

Jaemin - Zeus. is it just me or does jaemin radiate big jason grace. like the blonde hair (from boom era) and just like that attractive smile. no but jaemin would still be the son of zeus just because of powerful he is in everything he does. *this is mostly just because he reminds me of jason grace that’s all*

Chenle -  Hades. even though he’s not a part of the 12 gods of olympus, chenle would be hades’ son and that’s it. this is the 3rd character comparison but chenle is the chinese nico di angelo. like the black hair plus i hate my life look that he has (especially during ridin’ promotions) not saying that he always looks depressed but his stare could literally kill someone like fuck. is rare to come across but hades is also very well equipped (financially) as is chenle.

Jisung - Ares. okay before you call bullshit let me explain. jisung might not look like it but he’s deadlier than he seems. like we have cute little baby jisung who we’d all literally die for and then we have charismatic, maknae on top, king of duality jisung who we’d all also literally die for. ares is the god or war and bloodshed but he’s also the god of many virtues...aka jisung. just wait for jisung to grow older and then i think we’ll know what i’m trying to get at.

#asks #answered

[nanasarea]

I

𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘵: In a world where soulmates can visit each other in their dreams and can only remember the dreams once they found each other, what happens when you’re disappointed at the man of your dreams?

𝘎𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦: angst and fluff 

𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨: reader x ?

𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵: 0.6k

𝘢/𝘯: I’m back, bby! My first series back and my first written fic back! I hope y’all enjoy this!

if this sounds at all familiar, this is copied from my Marathon Jisung fic, but I felt like it fit and since I’m the one who wrote it in the first place, I see no problem copying it haha.  Also, not to worry, there will be longer parts! This is just the start aka so y'all get to know the friend groups, characters and setting.

𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵  𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵  𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

Tag list: @keiboo​

I  II  III  IV  V  VI

“Why are you two here? I thought I said I needed help not procrastinating.” I sighed as my friends sat down at the table, Renjun next to me and Haechan across from me.

“Well, I’m here to help.” Haechan smiled, sliding one of my notebooks towards him and grabbing a pen from my pencil case. I scuffed, knowing that he was gonna take one look at the problem and close the book, unless of course someone beats him to it.

“And I’m here to make things worse!” Renjun happily announced before closing the book and taking the pen from Haechan, who only looked at him with disappointment in his eyes.

“Oh, how lucky am I.” I dramatically sighed as I put your stuff in my bag while watching my two friends start to discuss another topic.

Me and Renjun became friends on the first day of high school when he showed me around and I, being a confused transfer, thanked god that I was able to meet her when I did.

Renjun met Haechan first and introduced us. Haechan claimed that when he met Renjun, he seemed like a guardian angel sent to help him. Renjun on the other hand, claims that he met Haechan at 2 am in front of a convenience store and that he looked like an abandoned crackhead, a cute one, but a crackhead nonetheless. We ended up sitting together at lunch, and so, a very chaotic but amazing friendship was born.

The 3 of us were always together by the end of first term, which was when Renjun met Jisung while hiding from Haechan and Jisung’s mom, respectively in the library and it all went downhill from there.

“So, what are we doing this weekend?” Renjun asked as he grabbed the bag of gummy bears from Haechan’s hands and started eating them. “A whole bunch of stuff.” Haechan informed, taking the bag back as he rolled her eyes.

“Can’t we just do nothing?” Renjun asked, pouting as he pointed at the jelly in Haechan’s hand.

“That’s the dream.” Haechan said, finally giving up and placing the bag in the middle of the table while taking a handful for himself before we all started grabbing the small gummy bears and munching on them.

“No, really, what do we have planned?” Renjun asked “Well, first we study, then we study, and oh, have I mentioned we study?” Haechan answered, giving Renjun a confused look “We have that big exam coming up.” he added.

“Anyway, yn, since this one is all busy with studying this weekend, how does spending the weekend with the most amazing human sound li-” “I thought we made it clear that I have to study?” Haechan smirked.

The “How about we draw the attention of the FBI?” from Renjun caused me to choke on my drink before quickly saying a “what?”

“Well, I’ve never seen anyone kick down a door before, that would be so exciting!” and as if one cue, we both looked at him.

“Y’know what, I’m in.” Haechan shrugged.

On the other side of campus, was a group of confused transfers trying to find their way to their dorms. Luckily for them, they were given instructions when they got to college. Unfortunately for them, all of them thought the other two were listening and decided not to listen.

“I swear to god, if we end up getting lost, because you two idiots didn’t liste-“ “Why should we have listened and not you?” Chenle and Jaemin quickly started bickering as Mark pulled out his phone and hoped he could get directions from the internet.

“Follow me, idiots.” Mark said, gesturing the two to stop fighting and follow his lead. He lead them to the building, where they found a bunch of other freshman, waiting to get their keys. The all let out a sigh of relief as Mark scuffed. “What would you two be without me?”

“Without you? Probably sane.” Chenle fired back, making Jaemin chuckle before Mark smacked the back of both of their heads. “You wish.” He sighed.

#NCT-WRITERS #neowriters #nct #nct dream #nct au #nct dream au #nct x reader #nct dream x reader #nct fluff #nct dream fluff #nct dream series #NCT series #soulmate au #dreamland #NCT dream angst

[2ndaryreactsandscenarios]

NCT 2020 Reaction: Love Letters on a Monday

Taeil (The Manly Man, Yet Power Vocal, Sheesh~)

Would a hundred percent not do a thing about it. I feel like he would appreciate the thought that was behind the letter and he would appreciate the person’s feelings. But he had his eyes set on somebody already (slang for you) and since he didn’t know who it was he wasn’t really gonna make it a bigger deal than it was. Now, if he had gotten more letters in the weeks to follow, then he may do something about it and try to give the person leaving them the message he wasn’t interested.

Taeyong (Artistic, Passionate Rapper and Caring Leader)

Would feel bad about it. While he really thought it was flattering for someone to do something like this, he would hate the idea of leaving them in the dark and not being able to respond. For a few days after receiving the letter he would probably want to find out who it is. Once he resigned himself to never finding out the person’s identity, he would then get another letter. Taeyong really wouldn’t want to lead the person on and he would want to respond to their feelings face to face, and receiving more letters made him more determined to find out who it is.

Johnny (The Mood Making, Yet Calm Sir)

Would keep it to himself. While Johnny liked the letter and everything, he would treat it as something between him and the other person. So he definitely isn’t out and about flaunting the letter around like a prized possession, rather it’s something he cherished and found to be pretty sweet to receive. If he got more letters from the same person, he would start to try and figure out who it is, and MAYBE vent to only his most trusted friends about it. 

Yuta (The Takoyaki Master, and Politely Keepin It Real, Osaka Man)

Honestly probably suspected that somebody had a crush on him, and so the letter came as no surprise to him. One of the few members whom I believe wouldn’t take that long to figure this whole ordeal out to begin with. Once he got the first letter, he would act very low profile about it and act like it wasn’t a big deal. But on the inside he is on high alert. Analyzing the heck out of everyone who so much as blinks too much around him to figure out who had left him the letter. And this only became more apparent when the second letter was released upon his locker.

Kun (The King of Magic and of Food)

Wouldn’t believe it and would think it was a little too good to be true. He would think this is something that only happens on TV and no way in the world would it happen to somebody like him. Kun would be the few to appreciate the thought but be in complete denial that this was a real thing happening to him. When he got another letter he wouldn’t so much as bat an eye and would pretty much continue on with life.

Doyoung (Vroom Vroom; The MC Vocal)

A hundred percent would think this is some sort of prank on him. Turns into a detective and suspects everyone to be the culprit. There was no way someone was out there who was so sweet and considerate to take the time out of their day to leave a letter if they didn’t have some other plan on their agenda. AKA, to humiliate him. He wouldn’t even allow himself to get swept up in the idea of it, and would rather spend every break interrogating his friends and using their weaknesses against them.

“MARK, I’M LOOKING AT YOU. You sneezed three times in a row, are you lying to my face???”

Ten (Dancing Devil and Whimsically Cute) 

Would get more caught up in the why behind the letter rather than the actual content. Now this sounds insane, but bear with me here. So Ten would like the letter and the intent and all that jazz behind it, but he would wonder why someone would like him that much? Was he that scary and unapproachable? Why couldn’t the person tell him in person? He would eventually shrug such thoughts away as he figured the situation was over. Until he got another letter of course and then he would start to get a bit worried. He had someone he was interested in and he didn’t want this person to get the wrong idea. So he was in quite the bind.

Jaehyun (Sensitive, Springtime Lover, Mr. Valentine)

Isn’t surprised that a love letter arrived. What is surprising is the content of the letter. He can feel the thoughts and feelings behind it and that makes him curious enough to want to figure out the person behind the pen. Would have his friends keep a look out for any odd behavior from those around him and he would hope to find the culprit by the end of the week. However he failed and received another letter. Thus this became war.

Winwin (The Dancer of Grace, The Tough Cutey)

Would go through the trouble of hiding the love letter from everyone and making himself look super suspicious to everyone. The last thing he wanted was for his friends to find out about the letter and tease him, so he decided to get to the bottom of this himself. He thought for sure it must be someone messing with him and trying to make a fool of him, so not to be mean but Winwin would probably avoid reading the letter. He would bank on the assumption that it was a love letter and try to act all tough by not reading the letter. So when he got another one he would start to panic and then he’d buckle down on his tough guy act.

Jungwoo (Stomach=Abyss, The Pure Vocal)

Would look around when he found the letter and wonder who could have left it for him. He found the letter cute and was surprised that somebody noticed him and thought of him that way. So best believe while he didn’t run off to tell all his friends, his eyes would be looking around in the classroom. He’d secretly be hoping to make eye contact with the dear soul that wrote that special letter to him. So when he received another letter, honestly it made him a little happy inside.

Lucas (That Low Low Rap, The Charming Wit)

Gonna sound bad… But Lucas would boast a hundred percent about it. He would tell all his friends and act like he was the bee's knees for receiving this letter. Now he wouldn’t flaunt the contents of it, but he would definitely tell everyone he had gotten a love letter. This didn’t change the fact that he came up to you, smug grin and all, telling you all about the love letter he had gotten. You would nod and pay him no mind and that would irk him a little bit. He had a crush on you and was certain you did too. He was hoping for a bit more of a reaction out of you. Thus, Lucas became determined to find the person who sent it so he could prove to you how popular he was. After all, the amazing person who sent him the letter liked him. So why didn’t you? (So many problems here, but we are just going to let this play out how it’ll play out).

Mark (The Hardworking Rapper, With An Adorable Sneeze)

One he was shook, and two he was honoured. It wasn’t everyday he got a love letter from someone. At first he was apprehensive and was wondering if it was a joke from the members, but once he read it it felt a bit too sincere for a prank. While he would be curious since the person didn’t leave a name on the letter, he would respect they didn’t want to be known and carry on with his day. When another letter came he would be a bit more motivated to give this person an answer someway or another.

Xiao Jun ( Humble Songwriter Agent Eight )

Would get giddy like a kid about it. He wouldn’t so much sweat the details about whether it was authentic or not, rather he would spend a bit more time imagining who it COULD be. He had had a crush on you for some time now, and it would be a pretty cool thing if you somehow were the person to leave the letter. He wondered how he could figure out who it was and thus would mention it to a couple of his trusted friends.

Hendery ( Music On The Go, Cucumber Inventor )

Hendery wouldn’t do much when he got the letter. Even if he found the contents endearing and wanted to respond, he couldn’t really do that since the person who wrote it didn’t leave their name in the note. So he would carry on with his life and would keep the entire ordeal to himself. Now when he got the second letter he would begin to wonder who it could be leaving the letter. So he would make a mental note to pay more attention to his surroundings and would wonder what he should do in this situation.

Renjun (The Loving and Smart Artist, The Virtuous Vocal )

While the gesture would be nice and all, Renjun wouldn’t really form an opinion about the person because in truth? He didn’t know who this person was or could be. They didn’t leave a name, so for all he knew it could be meant for someone else or worse it could be some sort of prank. So Renjun wouldn’t act on it unless the letters got weird or something. But Renjun is in this for the long haul. He isn’t going to play into this basically because he thinks it’s some big prank. So why get invested in a trick or lie?

Jeno (The Mature, Car Loving Violinist)

Jeno wouldn’t make this into something big and would be pretty quiet about the whole thing. More than the other person, he would think about how this letter made him feel. He was happy to receive it, but it didn’t change that he already had feelings for somebody else. May even feel guilty about getting the letter and would feel inclined to tell you his true feelings and about the letter. Whatever happened from there he was willing to see through.

Haechan (Sarcastic and Soft, The Lover and The Vocal)

Haechan would discover the letter around his friends and would act like the letter wasn’t all that he thought it was. He wouldn’t make fun of it but he would act way more indifferent than he actually felt about it. But when he actually read the letter in private? He would be smiling ear to ear. He would treasure the little letter and would wonder who wrote it. He would carry on like normal, but every time he passed his locker he was secretly hoping for another letter; except this time it would have a name at the end of it.

Jaemin (Affectionate Nana, Dancing Pianist)

Would not hide the fact that he got the letter, but he wouldn’t be announcing it in the halls or anything. He really liked the letter and what the person had to say and so if he was given the option and chance to find out who the person was and have a conversation with them, he was more than willing to take it. Jaemin wouldn’t be searching for your identity though and rather he would just go with the flow. If the secret admirer decided to show themselves, they would do so in their own time.

Yang Yang ( Little Sheep Racer, Mysterious Rose Zero )

Did you know that Yang Yang got a love letter? Because he pretty much told everyone that he got a love letter. Now this isn’t fully out of blind excitement as much as it was a strategy. He wanted to make sure everybody knew he got one so if anyone approached his locker, in theory, it would spread like a rumor and like wildfire. He didn’t want whomever wrote the letter to remain in the dark and to hide behind a piece of paper. He would only believe it if they said it to his face. Deep down he hoped that they really felt the way they said they did in the letter. Yes his method is a bit underhanded, but all is fair in potential crushes and love letters (and fiction please don’t do this in reality! How wicked!)~!

Chenle (Sweet and Soft, High Vocal)

Honestly? Would be a bit scared to read the letter. He may have even thought the letter had accidentally been left in his locker but when he found his name in the letter contents he would chicken out again. It didn’t so much matter to him what the letter said at first, but rather he didn’t know how he would even go about responding to this person without sounding like a jerk. He decided to ignore it and try to move on with his life in silence, until the second letter came. Chenle would realize the problem wasn’t going to just go away and that he needed to face this person and tell them that he was sorry but he had feelings for somebody else.

Jisung (Killer Dancer, The Shy Temporary Maknae)

Jisung would be a bit concerned about the letter. The person they were describing didn’t sound at all and he felt like he wasn’t nearly as good as the person thought he was. So he ultimately opted to move on and ignore the letter. He felt like the person was living in a fantasy that he could never live up to. When the second letter arrived, he was determined to find the person and turn them down! It didn’t matter whether they cried or were upset, he needed to hand them that dose of reality and get back to his own unrequited feelings for you.

Disclaimer: An important thing to note in regards to these reactions/scenarios is that none of them are based on how the members are in real life and are merely a depiction that fits the fiction (as I don’t know the members personally). These are meant to be lighthearted (aside from the angst that continues to rise on this blog) and I hope they are not being taken as pure fact or reality.

If you took the time to read this reaction, thank you so much for your time. Stay happy and healthy! Make yourself a magnificent morning/afternoon/evening/night whenever in time or whenever in the world you may be and I hope to see you all again soon. Bye bye~

#nct reactions #nct reaction #nct scenario #nct scenarios #nct imagine #nct imagines #nct angst #nct 127 reaction #nct 127 reactions #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 scenario #nct 127 imagine #nct 127 imagines #nct u imagines #nct u reactions #nct u reaction #nct u scenarios #nct u scenario #nct u imagine #nct dream #nct 127 #nct u #nct 2019 #nct 2019 reactions #wayv reaction #wayv reactions #wayv scenarios #wayv scenario #wayv imagines #wayv imagine

[haechanhour]

your header is so cute!!! i love the purple and the bunny omg

ngoc om hi 💖💖💖 i was so fixated on the dive into you stage ( aka my icon ) with haechan and the purples and since he is bear i had to!!! do something about it!!!!!

#my layout is so soft but the softness ends there </3 all my other posts r just me complaining or something lmaO #ngoc #<3

[kaepopsicle]

Haechan + sunflower (aka you) 🌻

he’s my teddy bear / fullsun 🥺

thank you bb 😭

#thechoppersan #cutie #—asks #🧸 #🌻

[tinted-skies]

the journey to us

Jeno fluff // part 1 of ?? - a friendship blooms

he met you through Jisung

your bestie.

and tbh when he met you, he didn’t think much about it

mmm she’s Jisungie’s friend so she must be nice

but turns out you were not only “nice” but also really sweet, caring and lowkey funny af

the dreamies would quickly find themselves asking Jisung to bring you along

because why not

and tbh when Jisung started asking you to tag along every week you were very surprised

much like Jeno, when you met the boys you didn’t think much about it

not expecting to get along so well with them

but here you were!

their newest and cutest addition to the group

you quickly became really close to Chenle

because duh he’s Jisung’s other bestie

and Renjun!!

you guys totally bonded over art and candles!

but just to be clear

if any of them asked

you would say that you liked every single one of them the same amount

they pretty much treated you like one of the boys

which was great of course

but also had its disadvantages (aka them making crappy jokes and sometimes totally forgetting about boundaries)

*eye roll* istg men

if i were your friend i would never treat you this way

alright moving on

sometimes when their comments went a little bit too far

you got a little bit hurt

but you hid it

retaliating and often managing to get them speechless with your comebacks

which made them think that you didn’t get affected one bit

Y/N ice queen au

one day you all went camping

ewww camping i’m sorry but ew

the boys were making dinner

mainly Jaemin and Haechan

and you were sitting with the others chit-chatting

but then you received a text

saying that you had failed one of your exams

and your mood changed drastically

because you knew that once you got home you would have to face your parents

which would remind you once again that “they were paying your college bills for you to study and not for you to go out with a random group of boys everyday”

BLAHBLAHBLAH

but mainly because you felt disappointed in yourself

you had put your all into this exam

and felt like crying your heart out from how dumb you felt

idk who needs to hear this but YOUR GRADES DO NOT REFLECT YOUR INTELLIGENCE.

you’re so smart queen pls don’t cry

and so, you left

getting in the tent that you were sharing with Jisung

and tbh the guys didn’t even notice you were gone for like 10 minutes

just assuming you went to the toilet or something

are there toilets on camping thingies??? idk but you get what i mean

but when Jeno didn’t see you sitting on your chair snuggling in your blanket HE UNDERSTOOD SOMETHING WAS UP

he asked the others about it, but they just shrugged

however, Jeno couldn’t stay indifferent to your disappearance

it was dark and cold

and you were alone!!

for all he knew you could be lost in the woods

and have been attacked by a bear!

so, he decided to zip up his jacket and go look for you

like the brave man he is

however, his adventure was cut short when he saw light coming from your tent

he could figure your sitting shadow inside of it

and as he got closer, he heard low sniffles

he hesitated

thinking that he should probably give you some space

but tbh there was a big part of him that just wanted to hug you

so that’s what he did

kinda

he peeked inside of your tent

startling you

real smooth Lee Jeno real smooth

and waited for you to give him permission to enter

Jeno consent king

which you obviously granted

he sat in front of you

using your blanket to cover his legs as well

while he got comfortable you dried your tears with your sweater

shit- nicely done Y/N now you’re embarrassing yourself in front of Jeno

you had told yourself to never breakdown in front of any of the boys

but here you were

puffy red eyes

pink cheeks still wet

btw you look really pretty when you cry

Jeno told me this

and Jeno knew he would sound like an asshole, but he just couldn’t help himself thinking

wow... Y/N got feelings...

but in his defence never in a million years would he expect to see you like this

specially since you guys weren’t that close

you found yourself surprisingly at ease now that you were in his presence

telling him about all the pressure that your family and college were putting on you

Jeno listened attentively to everything you said

lots of hums and nods coming from him

showing you that he was fully invested in everything you were sharing

he even found himself relating to some of the things that had been bothering you lately

which only made the need to hug you stRONGER

BUT HE DIDN’T

he held himself back from doing so

but after that night you two definitely grew closer

read part 2 -> here!!

#jeno #jeno x reader #jeno fluff #nct dream #nct dream x reader #nct dream fluff #nct dream imagines #nct dream oneshots #nct dream scenarios #nct dream drabbles #nct #nct x reader #nct fluff #nct imagines #nct oneshots #nct scenarios #nct drabbles #tinted-archive

[2idiots]

Keep Yourself Alive pt. 16

word count: 2404ish

NCT Frat Social Media AU // College Athlete & Fratboy Lucas x reader

warnings: none really, lucas is drunk, y/n is whiney

---

You were grumbling and cold. For some reason you had decided to wear just a sweater to meet Hyunjin at Chan’s apartment. The sun was shining when you walked over and you stupidly thought it would be shining when you left. Spoiler alert it was not and the temperature had significantly dropped so now you were freezing as midnight neared on your walk across campus. As much as you loved the moon and the stars you hated being cold, which was a partially because you were constantly attached to your heating pad and anything that could keep your muscles relaxed. Of course you could’ve taken Chan’s jacket when he offered but that was accepting defeat and you weren’t ready to do that. So armed with your still warm leftovers, you trudged across the arctic tundra clutching you oversized sweater closer, angrily muttering under your breath.

The first time your phone rang, you were too busy being overdramatic about the cold to notice. It wasn’t until the second call that you picked up, not entirely sure why Mark was trying so hard to contact you when you were positive he was already drunk with his boyfriend. And boyfriend meant he didn’t have to stumble to your dorms after the party was over, he could just stay with his boyfriend.

Alright so it was the second time tonight that you were regretting bad decisions and having friends. First you get the swim boys to move the pasta party to Chan’s apartment and forget a coat, then Mark and his dumb boyfriend drag you into looking for a “very drunk” missing Lucas. Apparently he had disappeared out of the party after downing a little too much beer and whining something incomprehensible that included your name. Enough guilt tripping and the demon Haechan had you searching in the cold on campus, STILL without your jacket. It didn’t matter how heavy your sweater, the wind was cutting right down to your bones. The two lovebirds claimed to also be looking for the oversized basketball player but you had a sinking suspicion that they weren’t and this was some setup.

If only you had gone home earlier, instead of passing out in the middle of a movie with Hyunjin and Chan. You would already be fast asleep and unable to respond to what Haechan started calling “markhyuck.”

Wrapped up in the excess fabric of your sweater you ventured toward the only place on campus you thought Lucas Wong might go: the practice courts. If there was one thing you learned about him in the last month, it was that he truly loved basketball. These courts were his comfort place, in fact he had told you that himself, and if something was weighing on his mind you had a hunch that’s where he would be. At least that’s how you used to be with the pool.

Sure enough the closer you got, you noticed warm light flooding out onto the cold bare sidewalk through a crack in the side door. Upon further inspection there seemed to be a concrete brick propping the door open like someone had been coming and going. Considering all the other basketball players were no doubt back at the NCT party, that left one sports dude left to be the intruder. 

Quietly you snuck through the door making sure the brick remained in place. There you found yourself in the back equipment room, though it was narrow and skinny like a hallway, a very unorganized hallway. This is when you were positive it was Lucas in the building; you could hear him mimicking the cheers of a crowd loudly followed by the heavy hits of a basketball on polished wood floor. At least you knew Haechan wasn’t lying about Lucas sneaking away. Though you were skeptical of why you were here and not someone who knew the star better, wouldn’t Jaehyun or some other member of the basketball team be better suited to this task. You were just a one night stand who also happened to be his school tutor.

There hopefully NCT would dispatch someone to pick up their lost brother so you didn’t have to walk him across campus to a bustling NCT house as midnight neared or deal with his drunk ass. Despite common belief, ‘aka’ your friends, you really weren’t good at taking care of drunk people you just kinda tossed a water bottle their way and let them sleep it off. You weren’t really a caregiver, another reason why you shouldn’t be the one looking for Lucas.

When you finally saw the giant goof in question, an uncontrollable smile split across your face and for the first few seconds you didn’t even realize you were grinning from ear to ear. This tended to happen whenever you were around him, hence the reason you replaced it with a neutral expression the moment you felt your cheeks tire. There was just something about him that was unbelievably contagious, a happiness.

As for the boy in question, he was at the halfway line on the court making a surprising amount of shots for someone who was clearly drunk. Every shot he made was accompanied by fake cheers and every involved another drink from a clear water bottle that you didn’t have to smell to know it wasn’t water.

“Hey you big dork, isn’t it a little late to practicing?” You yelled from across the courts, your arms cross and your hip popped out. The attitude was practically rolling off you as a smirk played across your face.

The minute his giant brown puppy eyes landed they widened, filled with a childish sort of joy as he practically screamed, “Y/N!” Before you could respond he propelled himself across the two courts separating you and forced you into a hug, the basketball long forgotten behind him. “You came!” You stood there shocked and unmoving for what seemed like forever. The last thing you were expecting was a hug from him, you hadn’t really touched him since Halloween, not even an accidental brush. You weren’t purposefully avoiding him but it just seemed easy to keep your hands off after sleeping with him on Halloween. Didn’t want to give him the wrong impression, or at least that’s why you told yourself. “Wait why did you come?”

Pushing him away, though it took more effort than you expected, you made a disgusted expression and cried out, “Ew Lucas you’re all sweaty--” The minute contact broke between the two of you it was like all feeling returned to your body and you immediately when to brush off some invisible specks of dust, though really it was just an excuse to get your nervous energy out-- “and you’re drunk.”

The big basketball player retreated like a kicked puppy when you pushed him off, his eyes filled with a sadness that was had unintended consequences for you. It was like something was eating at your insides, something that felt suspiciously like guilt. In fact you felt so horrible that you very nearly pulled him into another hug just to get that look out of his eyes, especially when he let out a little whine, “Y/n do you like me?”

The color drained from your face, what kind of question is that? Oh course you liked him, you won’t have started tutoring again if you didn’t like him. But something told you that wasn’t the kind of “like” he was asking about; you weren’t ready to give him that answer and you couldn’t bear to cause any more of that sadness.

Where was the NCT member to pick up this oversized teddy bear?

Plopping down to the ground next to you, he got very quiet and murmured, “I knew it. I’m sorry for bothering you.” It was pitiful watching him hunch into ground, his limbs all splayed out as he fiddled with the cuffs on his long sleeved shirt.

It sent a pang directly through your heart. Is that what he thought? Why did he think you didn’t like him? Sinking down next to him, you hesitantly reached out to pat him on the shoulder, wincing at how awkward you were. “You’re not bothering me.” Your movements were uncomfortable and gawky. See you weren’t really a touch feeling person. In fact the only time you ever gave in was when one of your friends would drunken stumble to your room in the middle of the night. It was nearly impossible to pry them away in the middle of their sleep. “I like you being around you.”

Staring down at the floor he very quietly responded, “They why do you keep running away from me?”

“Running away from you?” you answered incredulously. Lately you were spending more time with him then your longtime friends, even if you had to leave early from a migraine or some other complication. Running away from him was the last thing you were doing.

But that didn’t seem to make him any less sad, in fact now he was looking at you with those big brown eyes, pausing to stare at where your hand rested on his shoulder, “Every time I’m around you it’s like you can’t wait to get away. I bet you even want to leave now.”

Letting out a slightly uncomfortable laugh you attempted to ease the situation with a bit of humor of your own, “Didn’t peg you as clingy, player.” That was definitely not the right thing to say because it DID NOT lighten the mood and now you felt even more awkward. The look in his eyes made you feel like a villain for hurting him.

“Even at the ice cream shop you were eager to leave, I thought we were having fun.” You went to protest, of course you were having fun that’s why you invited him, but he grew so quiet that you almost didn’t think he was breathing for a moment. A quiet Lucas was never a good sign, he was quite possibly one of the loudest people you had ever met, surprisingly that was one of the things you liked about him: he’s over the top personality. “And Halloween, I know I’m not supposed to talk about it but I can’t stop thinking about it. I thought you were going to stay until morning, I thought I would get to spend the night with you…”

Ah so that’s what this was about. You didn’t realize he took it so hard. Sure wrapped up in his arms you may have promised to stay until morning but then you could feel the pain starting to settle in and you had to get home. It was nice to have a break, filled with enough pain relievers to make the night bearable, but this was your life and a few moments off didn’t stop the pain from coming back. It was dumb to think you could stay until morning, you didn’t get to feel normal like that no matter how much you wanted.

When you looked back up from the ground he was searching your face for some kinds of answer but you couldn’t give him what he needed, as big as those puppy dog eyes got. “Were you uncomfortable? Did I take advantage of you?” You could see water starting to pool in his eyes and you were absolutely positive if you couldn’t handle his sad eyes then you could NOT handle him crying. “I’m so sorry y/n. I’m so so sorry.”

This poor, poor big baby: how long had he been holding this is? Not sure what prompted it, you reached out to hold his face gently in one hand and let out another little laugh at his thought, “Don’t be sorry. You didn’t take advantage of me, I wanted to be there with you. Please don’t apologize when you didn’t do anything wrong. Thank you for spending the night with me.” If anything you should apology for leaving him there to think he was a horrible person. Maybe you should’ve just taken the stairs.

“Why did you leave then?” He relaxed into your touch, his head nuzzling down into your palm. This little action sent a warmth cascading through your hand into your chest, so surprisingly that you’re lucky he was too drunk to notice the change in you. “What did I do?”

“Nothing Lucas, you did nothing. I had to leave,” you’re not sure why but suddenly tears were starting to well up in your eyes too. Maybe you needed just as much alcohol to get down to the bottom of this sadness that had sprung up inside. Had you really had this much of a profound impact on him? “I had to, it didn’t have anything to do with you.” Did you tell him that you felt it too? That when you spend the night talking you were feeling just as drawn to him. “Please don’t overthink it.” No. It wouldn’t do either of you good to admit you wanted to stay.

“So do you like me?” He asked again but this time he was clearly asking the question you didn’t want to answer.

“I think it’s time for you to go to bed buddy.” You diverted, hooking elbows with him to get the reluctant giant off the floor of the gym. Time to go to sleep, these weren’t questions you were going to answer. Friends don’t ask friends that kind of question.

You grimaced, looking up from your phone to the drunk boy next to you. His arm was interlaced with yours and a significant portion of his weight was supported by you despite the fact that he towered over you. You were getting really good at guiding oversized drunk boys. There was no way you could get him back to the NCT house and his bed alone, and it seemed that none of your friends were answering their phones. That left you one option, other than leaving him here to sleep in the practice courts alone, which you think about, your dorm.

There was no doubt that desk attendant was judging you with how many drunk men you were bringing up to your rooms. Hopefully she wouldn’t call Lucas an Oppa though, it was hard enough to hear it about Johnny you didn’t need it about the cute boy you were tutoring too.

Keep Yourself Alive

pt. 15b // pt. 16⚛ // pt. 17

summary: College is hard enough, right? Coursework, two jobs, a social life, and the state of your mental health. As if that was enough now the school’s no.1 athlete won’t leave you alone after a one night stand. And maybe you like him back but you have a tendency to run when life gets too difficult especially now that undiagnosed chronic pain just seems to be getting worse with each passing month.

(Thanks for reading! Please leave feedback, I would really appreciate hearing what you think 💕)

Taglist: @princeofshenzhenuwus @hannahdinse8 @injunbf @cowward @hhhhwww7

#nct imagines #nct social media au #wayv imagines #wayv social media au #wong yukhei #lucas nct imagines #wayv x reader #wayv yukhei #lucas nct #yukhei imagines #yukhei x reader #nct xuxi