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#beating these into our head so she won’t text our ex
sweetestofchaos · 2 years
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⇸ 𝖦𝖾𝗇𝗋𝖾: 𝖲𝖮𝖫, 𝖥𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿 | 𝟤𝟣+ | 𝖦𝖺𝗇𝗀 𝖠𝖴 | 𝖠𝗋𝗋𝖺𝗂𝗀𝗇𝖾𝖽 𝖬𝖺𝗋𝗋𝗂𝖺𝗀𝖾 | 𝖲𝗍𝗋𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝖫𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗌 ⇸ 𝖶𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌:  𝖲𝖮𝖫, 𝖥𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿, 𝖢𝗎𝗋𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀, 𝖱𝖺𝖼𝗂𝗌𝗆 ⇸ 𝖲𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒: 𝖠𝗋𝗂𝗌𝗌𝖺 𝗋𝗈𝗉𝖾𝗌 𝖸𝗈𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗂 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖩𝗂𝗆𝗂𝗇 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝗈 𝖺 𝗌𝗁𝗈𝗉𝗉𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗌𝗉𝗋𝖾𝖾 ⇸ 𝖶𝗈𝗋𝖽 𝖢𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗍: 1.3k ⇸ 𝖢𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝟨.𝟣 ⇸ 𝖢𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝟨.𝟤 ⇸ 𝖢𝗋𝖾𝖽𝗂𝗍: @eerieedits​​​ 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖽𝗂𝗏𝗂𝖽𝖾𝗋 ⇸  𝖬𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍
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ᶜʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ⁶‧¹ -  🇪​​​​​🇽​​​​​🇹​​​​​🇷​​​​​🇦​​​​​
In the garage, Yoongi fights back a smile when he hears Jimin and Arissa arguing over what he can only guess is cars. Walking farther into the garage, Yoongi smirks when he sees Jimin standing in front of the driver side door of Jungkook’s SUV while Arissa fights with him.
“Yo!” Yoongi calls out, gaining the attention of both.
Arissa folds her arms across her chest and narrows her eyes, “Jimin won’t let me drive!” Arissa is pissed and it’s clear on her face as she glares between both men.
“You’re not allowed to drive, Arissa. That’s rule number two.”
“Since when?!” Arissa tries to snatch the keys from Jimin, but he moves his hand out of the way.
“Since I got shot…” Yoongi mutter and Arissa frowns. Yoongi sighs and motions for her to move to the back. “Listen, if it were up to me, I would be the one driving-”
“Not until I hear all clear from the doctor,” Jimin interrupts and Yoongi rolls his eyes.
“Jimin offered to drive, since you’re not allowed.”
“This is a bunch of bullshit,” Arissa grumbles and gets in the back seat once Jimin unlocks the doors.
“Oh, please. Like you don’t like being chauffeured around,” Jimin teases and Arissa flips him off as he gets into the car. Jimin pulls out of the garage and Arissa is quick to tell them to keep quite while she starts up her first Instalive since she moved to South Korea. Jimin and Yoongi share a look as Arissa talks to her followers and Yoongi keeps his eyes focused on the road for anything that might cause a problem.
Arissa ends her Instalive fifteen minutes into the ride and when it is over, Yoongi and well as Jimin have one question for her.
“When did we agree to go to the mall?”
Arissa smiles as she shoves her phone into her purse, “I need new clothes. I had my mom donate most of mine since I was moving across the world.”
Jimin glances at Arissa in the rearview mirror, “Is that why you don’t come out of your room much?”
Arissa ignores Jimin’s question and stares out the window, watching as the world passes by in a blur. Reaching out, Yoongi turns the radio on to fill the awkward silence and soon they reach his doctor’s office. Yoongi jumps out the car and heads into the building alone, leaving Jimin and Arissa together. Jimin taps his fingers to the beat of whatever song is playing and he keeps glancing at Arissa in the rearview mirror.
“There are a few boutiques that I think you will like.” Arissa looks up from her phone and Jimin turns in his seat so he can see Arissa better. “The mall might not be the best place to go. There’s a strip that is filled with different kinds of stores that sell more unique clothing than the mall.”
Arissa thinks over Jimin’s words and plays with the ring on her finger, “Do you think they will have my size?”
Jimin’s eyes soften at Arissa question, and he speaks honestly, not wanting to lie. “Maybe? I’m not sure, but our tailor can adjust the fit…or maybe we can custom order something if you like it?”
Arissa nods her head and goes back to her phone. Jimin frowns at the response and turns back around in his seat. Grabbing his phone, Jimin does his research and smirks when he gets Arissa’s sizing. He double checks everything with all the boutiques and bites his lower lip. Many of them don’t carry Arissa’s size…or they do, but her measurements don’t match with the Korean body shape. Pursing his lips, Jimin sends a quick text to Hoseok and lets him know the problem. Hoseok responds back after a few minutes later and tell Jimin to spare no expense for Arissa’s happiness. If Arissa even glances at something, Hoseok wants it made in her size in at least two different colors. Jimin chuckles to himself and messages Yoongi so that he knows the change of plan.
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Arrisa is excited to go shopping, but it soon backfires when she overhears some women talking about her skin tone. Saying she’s pretty for a black girl or that they don’t make clothes for her kind of people. Jimin and Yoongi are seeing red when they hear such ignorant words being spoken out loud and before they can even react, Arissa is holding them back with a hand on their bicep and a gentle shake of her head.
“Get their information and have them blacklisted from a few notable establishments…including this one.” Arissa pulls her phone from her purse and speaks up, “Siri, set a reminder to write a review about the shops we’ve visited today.”
“Rissa?” Yoongi can tell that Arissa has had to do this before and it makes his heart ache. Just what kind of cruelty has Arissa faced without him by her side?
Arissa smiles and pulls a pair of large sunglasses from her bag, “Let’s go.” Arissa slips her sunglasses on and looks over at Jimin who is speaking to whom she guesses is the store manager. “Jimin-ssi!” Arissa calls his name and Jimin looks over his shoulder at her. “We’re leaving.” Jimin nods his head and Arissa turns on her heel, walking out the boutique with Yoongi right behind her. “Oh, that looks pretty!” Arissa jogs across the street and stares at a lavender bell sleeved blouse. “I hope they have my size.” Arissa moves to walk into the store and a hand on her wrist stops her. Looking over her shoulder, Arissa offers Jimin a small smile.
Jimin frowns and Arissa sighs, “Don’t let it ruin the whole trip Jimin-ah.” Pulling her wrist free from Jimin’s grasps, Arissa grabs hold of Jimin’s hand and squeezes it lightly. “Help me find my size.” Arissa pulls Jimin into the little shop and for the rest of the day, Jimin and Yoongi make it their goal to keep a smile on Arissa’s face. While Jimin and Arissa jump from store to store browsing the racks for pieces of clothing, Yoongi keeps an eye on the world around them. People mill about, staring at the trio as they walk together down the street. Yoongi’s arms are full of different sized bags while Jimin and Arissa carry a handful of bags each.
On the street there are a few food stalls and Jimin notices the way that Arissa watches a few couples share a basket of Dak-kochi. Jimin catches Yoongi’s attention and nods towards the food stalls. Yoongi grabs Arissa’s hand and leads her over to a large water fountain. They set their bags down and Yoongi keeps his eyes open for any threat while Arissa sits and checks her phone. Jimin walks over to a stall and waits in line to order some food for the three of them.
“Where’d Jimin go?” Arissa looks around and she laughs when she spots Jimin walking over with a tray filled with different food. “Feeding an army?”
Jimin sets the tray in front of Arissa and sits down while Yoongi squats. “Did you get me a corn dog?” Yoongi asks and Jimin rolls his eyes before he moves the gun-mandu from on top of the four corn dogs. Arissa eyes widen at the sight of the foreign corn dog and Yoongi smiles, “Try it.” Picking up the corn dog, Yoongi holds it out for Arissa to bite and a large gummy smile pulls at his lips when Arissa takes a large bite. “Good, right?”
Arissa nods her head and licks her lips, “Why is that so much better than an American corn dog??” The guys laugh at Arissa’s question and Jimin hands another corn dog to her. “No, like for real. Why is it so good?” 
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mosaic-system · 3 years
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“I'm wondering why do all the monsters come out at night?
Why do we sleep where we want to hide?
Why do I run back to you
Like I don't mind if you fuck up my life?
Why am I a sucker for all your lies?
Strung out like laundry on every line
Why do I come back to you
Like I don't mind if you fuck up my life?”
-All Time Low: Monsters ft. blackbear
“Dear Shakespeare
Could you write happy ending please
Could you write a happy ending please
We just deserve a happy ending please, please
And every sting from every tear drop
From every ring at every pawn shop”
- Romeo and Juliet by Hobo Johnson
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postalenha · 3 years
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on and off % jake
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pairing: playboybf!jake x reader genre: angst, fluff, lovers to exes, exes to lovers idek word count: 1.89k words requested: yes / prompt 14, “we called it off again last night.” / 18, “it’s been you all along.” / 19, “for the first time, i had something to lose.” synopsis: immaturity isn't needed in a relationship, but that seems to be jake's and your's specialty. warnings: curse words, mentions of drinking, throwing up, su!cide, toxic relationship, making out
"i thought you're going with jake today?" sunghoon asked as you hop into his car.
you rolled your eyes at the thought of riding in the same vehicle as the boy, "no, we called it off again last night."
"again?!" the boy exclaimed, "y/n, that's probably the nth time you guys called it off." he sighed in disbelief, "that's not how relationships work." he commented.
judgingly looking at his way, "yeah? like you know any better?"
"shut up." he started the engine, "this isn't about my love life."
"whatever." you blurt out, "i guess being bad at handling relationship runs in our blood." you jokingly said, as your cousin laugh.
he tilt his head smiling, "damn, of all things that can be passed down, that's what we got."
"well, at least we got good looks. that works as a payoff." he added. you agreed at him with a nod, "anyway." you changed the subject.
"i'm planning on ending it with jake." you stated. he looked at you, "no shit, you sure?" he assured, "to be honest, whatever makes you happy." he added, looking like he wanted to say something but he decided not to.
"don't apologize." you led before he could even say sorry for insisting that you should date his best friend, sim jaeyun.
"i'm not- okay whatever." he almost want to deny the urge but he saw you looking at him with a teasing face, "i just feel a little responsible for all the stress this relationship have caused you." he scratch the back of his head, as you slap his arm.
"shut up, dating him was my decision. you don't have to blame yourself for all the bad decisions i made for myself. i'm an adult now." you told him.
parking his car he nod his head, "okay. just remember i'm here if things are bad, okay?"
"okay." you said, before going out of his car. walking at the corridor of your building, trying to see if jake arrived earlier than you today.
and he certainly did. there he is on his designated seat beside the window, silently watching as the wilted leaves fall down from the tree.
the clock ticks time faster than you expected and your professor came in, not able to call out for jake's name to even talk to him.
sitting down to a chair, you told yourself that you'll talk to him later. and here you are, in front of jake sim at the rooftop of your university's main building.
it might be your lucky day for no one else is here but the two of you. this place is usually cramped with so many people and miraculously today isn't one of those days.
this may be one of the many signs sent from above that this relationship should end as it wasn't right from the beginning.
your blood boils as your cousin sunghoon pushes you into the table of his friend group, "come on! you wouldn't lose anything! he just want to talk to you." he shouts.
"then tell him i don't want to!" you shout back a little annoyed. the last thing you want to do tonight is talk to the famous serial dater, jake sim. "for i know, he just wants the best out of me!"
"come on! jake's not like that!" he defended his friend. to be honest, sunghoon is the last person you should be ranting to. for he is just like his friend, they play with girl's hearts for fun.
you rolled your eyes as you reach the table of ego. the decision of naming that wasn't yours, but the other students. they called this the table of ego because everyone in here got some solid ego. heeseung, jay, sunghoon, jake. all of them.
"y/n! you actually came!" heeseung cheered as soon as he saw you, he scooted a little bit on his right to leave some space between him and jake, "come sit!"
sitting beside him was probably one of the decisions you will forever regret in your life. the memory of that night was a blur. you barely recall anything that happened then.
the only thing that you remember was when jake was reaching for a kiss, you accidentally threw up on him before passing out.
the next day, he told you to be his girlfriend to compensate with the mess you gave his brand new shirt. you said yes just so he could shut up, telling yourself you'll break up with him after a day or two.
two months then passed and you are just breaking everything now. well, it's better late than never. you just didn't expect that he would actually be a good boyfriend.
he's mostly good, not until everything gets complicated even with nothing. you fight over the smallest thing like, not being able to respond to each other's text to someone getting jealous.
it wasn't the best relationship you've been in but it was a good experience. you learned so much and now, it's time to move on.
"what is it that you wanted to say?" jake impatiently snapped you back into reality. you swallowed a good amount of saliva before saying, "let's break up."
it was better to say it forward than beating around the bush. with this, more time and energy will be saved. because even if you give him an explanation he probably won't listen.
he slowly blinked and sighed, looking away he said "okay. if that's what you want." see. he wouldn't even bother asking you why.
well, if you get things easy. they would also go easily, "okay. it was fun meeting you." you head out, leaving him there.
he most probably would not be so upset that he might think of jumping off the building, but you still prayed that he wont.
and he didn't. you can guarantee that as you see that three weeks later jake sim is with a woman walking the same isle as you are. the chances of you seeing him here at this huge mall was small, but never impossible.
you grabbed your friend's hand trying to hide from the sight of the man, "what are you doing-"
"shut up, jake is here." you told here looking at their way, walking into a clothing store. you hurriedly go and sit at a restaurant far from them and ordered food when your friend speak up.
"y/n, what's the point of hiding now when you guys already broke up?" she patheticly looked at you who's trying to hide from a menu list.
putting the menu list down on the table, you crossed your arms, "i am not hiding from him. i simply don't want to involve myself with anything that has to do with him."
"yeah, like seeing him in a shopping mall involves you with him." she said with full sarcasm. "you have no idea how pathetic that sounded."
not listening to anything she said, you started eating your pasta. almost choking when you saw a familliar figure walk in the restaurant.
trying your best to lean down and not get noticed you hear your friend call, "jake!" you kick her feet under the table as you see jake wave back and walks closer.
"what the fuck did you just do?" you whispered at her, she just smiles like an idiot as jake reach your table.
"hello, jia." he greeted your friend, "hi, y'n."
flashing a fake smile, you said "hi." satisfied with how annoyed you are, jia announced "you guys can join us! we got two extra seats here."
"we don't want to intrude-" you cut him off, "yes, there are a lot of vacant tables. they sure can find their own, right?"
serving a glass of wine, a waiter says "oh, we're fully booked, ma'am. so if you want to eat here, you have to wait for another hour or so." he said pouring some on your glass. "if you'll excuse me."
"it would be rude if we don't invite you right? so join!" your friend cheered as the girl jake's with sit next to you.
taking a sip of your wine whenever jake helps the girl cut her steak, you became unaware of how drunk you are. "so, when did you meet jake?" you asked the girl.
to be frank, she was quiet the whole time. just sitting there, not saying a thing but a "thanks." whenever jake helps her with anything.
"you can't answer that? well can you tell me if you are able to use your hands to their purpose? like cutting off a steak or puring your own glass of wine?"
"y/n-" your friend tried to stop you. but you didn't listen. you just continued to blabber nonsense until jake grabbed your wrist to the bathroom.
shaking your hand off his grip you screamed at him asking, "why did you bring me here?!"
"y/n why are you being so rude?" he calmly asked you.
you sarcastically laughed, "i'm being rude? who's more rude when you're out here eating at the same table as your ex-girlfriend and your current girlfriend?"
"current girlfriend- y/n that's my cousin!" he tried to calm himself by breathing slowly, pushing the side of his mouth using his tounge "do you really think i could replace you that fast?"
the sudden question made you feel like someone cut off your tounge. because you mostly have answer for everything but this. his question caught you off guard.
"when you broke up with me, i never asked why. i knew you were tired and i don't want to exhaust you more." you hear his voice shake as he speak. "i was also tired and we both needed a break."
you looked straight at his eyes that are sparkling from moist done by the tears that he have been trying so hard to hold back, "but as time pass by, i felt more and more empty. there is a big mark of you in my heart that ever since you left, no one has ever filled."
"nobody could ever fit in, but you." cupping your face he also wipe your tears away. "i never felt that way before. it's like, for the first time, i had something to lose."
"jake, i-" it was as if you forgot how to compose a word. you never knew he felt the same way you did when you broke up with him.
maybe sunghoon was more of your cousin than he is jake's friend. because if jake only knew how many times you told sunghoon that you miss him, he would've came back faster than this.
he smiled pulling you into a hug, "it's fine if you don't feel the same way anymore. i understand that. but i just want you to know that i am not the douchebag you think i am."
pulling away from the hug, you see his eyes were bloodshot "sorry, the last thing i want to do is make you cry-" you pulled him into a kiss not letting another word out of his mouth.
running out of breath, you seperated his lips from yours. you widely smiled at him, "it’s been you all along."
kissing outside a three star restaurant's restroom isn't as ideal as other comeback stories, but you wouldn't ask for anything else. as long as you have jake in your arms, your heart is content.
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The Cabin - Tom Hiddleston x Curvy Reader (Part 1/3)
“What’s got you so distracted?” Evans asked Tom.
“Sorry, I just…I had planned on visiting my family again during break, but most of them will be on a cruise for a family friend’s wedding. I know I saw them less than two months ago for Christmas, but I don’t get to see them often anymore.”
“Oh, damn!” Chris replied.
“I know, I’m considering whether or not it’s even worth it to deal with two incredibly long flights going to and from London if I’m not even going to get to see my family.” He said, opening the make-up trailer door for him and Chris.
“Where else were you thinking about spending break?” he asked, plopping down in the make-up chair to start having all of the Captain America washed off for the next two weeks.
“Honestly, I don’t know. I may just take a trip to somewhere much closer by myself.” Tom answered, running his fingers through his hair when his wig was removed.
“If that’s what you WANT to do, cool, but you should just come with me to the cabin.” Chris suggested.
“The cabin?” Tom asked.
“Yeah, my friend Y/N owns a huge cabin and I drag my family up there every few years.” He explained.
“Thank you for the invite, but I couldn’t intrude on your family’s time with you.” Tom politely answered.
“Come on. First, you know my mother loves you. Second, you aren’t intruding on anything.” Chris tried convincing him.
“I really don’t want to be a bother.” Tom felt guilty, knowing how much of a family person Chris was.
“That’s it.” Chris dramatically pulled his cellphone out. “Siri, call Ma!”
“You wouldn’t.” Tom said, struggling to keep a straight face.
“Calling ‘Ma’” Siri’s voice replied. The make-up artists were trying hard to keep their laughs to themselves at this point.
After a few rings, Chris’ mother answered the phone. “Hey sweetie.”
“Hey Ma, I’m here with Hiddleston and I need you to settle an argument.” Chris shot Tom a snarky ‘watch this’ look.
“Tom! How are you, sweetheart?” Chris’ mom Lisa asked.
“I’m doing well, thank you. How have you been?” Tom replied with a grin on his face.
“I’m good, I’m good. Now what are you two arguing about?” She asked.
“Well, Tom isn’t going to get to see his family over filming break.” Chris started to explain.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” Lisa interrupted. “You should just drive up to Y/n’s with Chris! There’s plenty of room and you know I always make too much food anyhow.”
Chris gave Tom a cocky grin. “That’s exactly what I was telling him, Ma!”
“You’re too kind.” Tom laughed. “I suppose you’ve made an offer I can’t refuse.”
“Don’t be silly. You’re always welcome with us.” Lisa reiterated. “We’re getting ready for bed since our flight is so damn early in the morning, so I’ll see you two tomorrow!”
“Thanks, Ma! Be safe!” Chris answered, hanging up the phone.
“Thank you.” Tom said, getting up from his make-up chair.
“I told you, it’s no biggie. We’re gonna have a blast.” Evans answered.
“When are we leaving?” Tom asked.
“Well, we’ve got a few options.” Chris answered as the two of them left the make-up trailer.
“Go on.”
“They aren’t expecting us there until tomorrow, but if we leave in the next few hours, we’ll actually beat them there.” Chris explained.
“I mean, I’m nowhere near tired.” Tom said, letting Chris know he was down for the drive.
“Same. I’ve been so excited for this trip, I feel wired.” He replied “Wanna pack and meet me at mine?”
“Absolutely.” Tom answered. “Anything specific I should pack?” He called loudly as the two had walked a distance apart.
“Dress comfy!” Chris yelled back. “And bring a jacket! It’s snowing!”
Tom waved and made his way to his trailer.
It was about an 8 or 9 hour drive up to the cabin, so the guys rolled up at about 3 in the morning.
“Is anybody else here?” Tom asked, as Chris navigated his truck up the snowy drive.
“Y/n’s here. She spends about half her time up here.” Chris answered, parking the truck and shooting you a text.
“Where does she spend the rest of her time?” Tom asked.
“Everywhere, really. She’s a writer. She’s even come and crashed with me while I was filming.” Chris answered, hopping out of the truck when he got your text reply.
“Books? Scripts?” Tom asked, curious what you wrote.
“Books, mostly. She’s got a few popular series, but she also has a few pen names that she refuses to tell me so I’ve always assumed she like consults or edits or something.” Chris answered.
“How mysterious.” Tom chucked, grabbing his bag and following Chris up to the house.
“Y/n!” Chris yelled into the cabin, leading Tom into the large home.
“Did you really work all day and then drive 8 hours?” you laughed, walking down the stairs.
“I just couldn’t wait to see that beautiful face.” Chris dropped his bag and pulled you into a bear hug.
“Sure. This definitely has nothing to do with you beating Scott to one of the big bedrooms.” You laughed, wrapping your arms around him.
“That’s just a perk.” He teased, introducing you to Tom. “I’m sure you know who this is. Y/n, Tom. Tom, Y/n.”
“Nice to meet you.” You replied, pulling Tom into a hug.
“It’s very nice to meet you too.” Tom said, happy to see that you seemed just as chill and down to earth as the rest of Chris’ friends and family.
“He had to bail on his plans to fly home for the break, so I convinced him to join our two weeks of amazing chaos and shenanigans.” Chris laughed.
“Amazing is right, bucko. I just got two hot tubs installed” you shared.
“Yes!” Chris half yelled.
“Also, mi casa es su casa, Tom. Make yourself at home.” You told him.
“Gracias.” Tom replied in Spanish.
“Any chance you two want to take a dip tonight before the rest of the pack arrives?” Chris asked, looking between you and Tom.
“Absolutely” you answered, walking towards the kitchen. “You both okay with Beer? I’ve got other options.”
“Beer for me.” Chris answered.
“Actually, a beer sounds rather refreshing at the moment.” Tom answered.
“I’ll grab the beer and you two can pick your rooms” you called from the kitchen.
“You down for the hot tub?” Chris asked Tom.
“I am, but I didn’t pack any swim shorts.” He answered.
“No worries, Y/n has a whole closet full of random stuff. Follow me.” Chris led Tom up the stairs. “Y/n’s room is at the very top, but there’s two rooms just below that. We can take those two. Let those with kiddos stay closest to the bottom floor.”
“Sounds good to me” Tom replied, dropping his bag on the bed before following Chris to your closet of misfit swim clothes, jackets, sleepwear, blankets, and other miscellaneous stuff.
When you made your way upstairs, you saw that the guys had picked the two rooms closest to yours. You weren’t surprised. They were the two biggest after yours and Chris never got to pick one of them because he was always the last to show up for his family get togethers.
“When you two get changed, head up to mine. The second hot tub is on my balcony.” You took the three unopened beers and went up the last set of stairs to get changed in your room. Your suit was a black balconette bikini top and a pair of black high waisted bikini bottoms. The top and bottom had a few strappy bits that accentuated your curves.
“Well hello there, sexy lady.” You heard Chris and his unending charm behind you as you were finishing getting your top all sorted.
“You guys get settled in?” you asked, nodding towards the beers.
Chris opened one and handed it to you. “We did.” As he opened another for himself and sat on your bed, he shared a bit about Tom. “I’m happy he tagged along. I don’t know what he’s got going on in his personal life because he doesn’t share a lot, but he needs a break like this.”
“Well, if I had to take a guess...” you took a swig of your beer. “You two get along great which makes me think he’s a down to earth, genuine person.”
“I agree” Chris replied.
“If you’ve seen any of the tabloids lately, they aren’t very friendly to the exes of the women he’s most recently dated. I’m going to assume he’s a bit overwhelmed and a bit worn out. It’s hard to stay genuine and down to earth when the media is writing about you as if you’re a scheming fuckboy.”
Chris took a swig of his beer. “I think you might be right. God, beauty and brains? Why won’t you marry me?” he teased.
“Like you could handle me” you teased right back.
“I’m going to go get more beer so we don’t have to leave the hot tub.” Chris stood and smacked your ass on the way out.
“How did I know you were going to do that?” you laughed.
Chris was laughing as he passed Tom. “I’ll meet you two up there.”
When Tom walked in, you opened the last of the three beers and handed it to him. “Pink suits you.” You noticed he was wearing the bright pink swim shorts from the closet.
Tom blushed and laughed as he took a sip of his beer. “It was this or ones with bananas all over them. I thought I’d make a bold choice.”
“Choice well made” you replied, opening the double doors to your balcony. “It’s going to be a short chilly journey to the hot tub, but heaven once you get in.”  
When you went to walk up the steps on the side of the hot tub to get in, Tom extended his arm so you could grab his hand. “Be careful.”
“Thank you.” You couldn’t help but smile.
“God, I leave for two minutes and you two are already holding hands.” Chris snarked as he joined the two of you on the balcony. You and Tom both laughed as you walked down into the hot tub and let go of his hand. “What’s he got that I don’t got?” Chris was fake sniffling as he climbed into the hot tub after Tom.
“Oh, sweetie. I don’t think you want to know the answer to that question.” You answered, finishing the beer in your hand.
“Now I really want to know” Chris replied, opening and handing you a second beer.
“Are you two always like this?” Tom laughed.
You and Chris looked at each other and answered “yeah” at the same time.
After the three of you had spent about a half hour in the hot tub just talking and laughing, Tom cleared his throat. “Thank you for this.”
“For what?” you asked. He was sat between you and Chris, the three of you looking out at the beautiful snowy mountain view.
“Chris, for inviting me. You, for having me. Both of you for forcing me to get out of my own head.” Tom answered.
“You don’t need to thank us.” Chris replied, slapping Tom on the shoulder.
“He’s right, you know.” You smiled, looping your arm through his and leaning your head on his shoulder, looking back out at the view. “You’re pretty great company if I do say so myself.”
“Well, if I can’t thank you, at least let me share my appreciation of you both.” Tom replied, pressing a quick kiss to the top of your head.
“Just wait until the whole pack shows up” Chris laughed. “It’s calm now, but you’re going to have plenty of distractions once the shenanigans start.”
“Remember, my room is the safe zone” you laughed. “No kids, it’s off-limits during games, and it’s the only access to this balcony.”
“I’ll keep that in mind” Tom chuckled.
Chris looked over and saw you cuddled into Tom’s side. “Why do I get the feeling you’re ‘appreciating’ Y/n over there a lot more than you are me” he teased.
You laughed and Tom looked over at Chris. “If you wanted a snuggle, that’s all you had to say.”
The three of you were all laughing, the lateness of the night sinking in. “If I snuggle anyone I’m going to fall asleep, and I have a feeling that’s not the best idea in a hot tub.” He stood up and hopped over the side, almost slipping on the icy balcony floor.
“What time is everyone arriving tomorrow?” you asked, not moving from your spot at Tom’s side.
“Well, they always grab breakfast down at that old little diner after they land, so maybe 11?” Chris answered, wrapping himself in a towel.
“You mean we actually get to sleep in?” you said with a bit of exaggerated shock.
“I don’t think it counts as sleeping in if you don’t go to bed until after the sun starts peaking over the mountains.” Tom teased you.
Chris laughed. “Hey, we’ll take it. Sleep is going to be a rare commodity around here for at least a few days.” He left the balcony and went back inside to warm up.
“I can’t wait.” Tom said.
“Me either. I love when they come up here. Always makes this place feel more like home.” You shared, moving to get out of the hot tub.
“I think the chaos is something I miss when I don’t get to spend time with my family.” Tom replied, once again grabbing your hand and making sure you made it safely out of the hot tub and onto the balcony. “I think having all of my nieces and nephews running around and the fact that there is always something cooking or baking…It’s hard to feel alone.”
You handed Tom a large towel and wrapped another one around yourself. “Well, if that’s your idea of a great time, you’re going to love your time with Chris’ family. They’re love and chaos and great food with a dash of an extreme love of competition.”
Tom followed you back into the house. “Well, again. I appreciate that I’m able to experience it.”
“Me too” you said, drying your hair a bit with your towel. “It sounds like you needed a bit of an escape.”
“That’s one way to put it” Tom said, drying off.
“Well, if you need anything just come find me, okay?” You could hear Chris coming back up the stairs to your room.
“Thank you, I will.” Tom replied, seeming to hesitate for a second. “I’ve enjoyed spending time with you tonight. Or this morning, rather.” He laughed.
You couldn’t help but smile as you threw your towel into the clothes hamper. You were a very confident person. You were proud of who you were, and you loved your curvy body, but all of a sudden you felt very naked standing there in your bikini. Tom’s genuine compliment and the way he confidently looked you up and down left you with goosebumps. “The feeling is definitely mutual.”
“Let me know if I can help with anything. Preparations and such.” Tom mentioned as Chris walked in.
“Don’t worry about that, Ma usually takes over when she gets here.” Chris laughed.
You shrugged. “True” you added, both grateful for and irritated by the interruption.  
“Y/n, I checked that all of the doors were locked. Our trucks are both locked too. I’m gonna pass out and shower when I wake up.” Chris let you know.
“Thanks” you replied. “I’ll probably hop in the shower before I go to bed so that I can help your mom sort meals and such out when she gets here.”
“Sweet. I’m going to bed.” Chris interrupted himself with a yawn. “I will see both of you in a few hours”
As Chris headed back down a floor to his room, Tom cleared his throat. “I really don’t mind helping.”
“You’ll eventually get roped into doing something, I promise.” You laughed.
Tom nodded and smiled. “Well then, I’m going to go shower and sleep. I’ll see you in a bit.”
As Tom turned to walk down the stairs, you spoke. “Try to relax.” When he turned to look at you, you continued. “You have nothing to worry about for two whole weeks. No schedule, no paparazzi, no expectations…just, let yourself enjoy it, okay?”
Tom smiled and nodded his head. He replied “I think I will” before continuing down the stairs.
Instead of your alarm, you were woken up by Chris crawling into your bed. “Y/n.” He was trying to wake you up gently. “Y/n!”
“Did my alarm not go off?” you asked, rolling over and snuggling into Chris.
He chuckled, wrapping his arms around you. “I underestimated my mother’s planning. Turns out they got to the diner at 8 this morning and they’re currently unloading the cabs downstairs.”
“What time is it?” you asked.
“9:30” Chris replied, the two of you hearing someone coming up the stairs.
“I’m going to need coffee” you mumbled.
Tom made it to the top of the stairs and saw you and Chris together in your bed. He tucked the thought away, making note to ask Chris about the two of you later. “Not a morning person?” he asked, laughing at your messy bed head and request for caffeine.
“I can be when I need to be, but we were awake and drinking on my balcony like four hours ago” you replied.
“Can I make you some coffee?” Tom offered.
You rolled over and sat up sorting out your messy hair. “I can make it. I just need to get dressed.”
Chris rolled out of your bed, going to your closet. “Bra, leggings, sweater, fuzzy socks.” Chris tossed your clothes onto your bed.
“You know me so well.” You laughed, gathering your clothes and getting out of bed. “I’ll be down in a few.”
“I think they’re finished unloading, but I’ll go see if there’s anything else they need help with.” Tom replied, heading downstairs.
“I’m offended that you two look like you’ve just had 12 hours of beauty sleep.” You teased Chris, pulling your leggings on.
“I think you’re underestimating yourself” Chris said, turning to leave. “You’ve definitely caught someone’s attention.” Chris had noticed the way Tom looked at the two of you cuddled up in your bed and planned on asking him about it later.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you sleepily asked, but Chris was already gone.
You finished getting dressed in your long, oversized sweater and fuzzy socks and walked downstairs to greet Chris’ family.
“Y/n!” Chris’ sisters greeted, pulling you each into a hug, the three of you quickly catching up.
Then came Scott, who practically tackled you. “Bitch, it has been too long.”
“Agreed.” You replied, the two of you making plans to go get stuff for drinks tonight.
You’d said a few hellos and given a few hugs to various other friends and family and eventually you made your way to the kitchen with Tom and Lisa, Chris’ mom.
“Oh, my dear, it’s so good to see you.” Lisa pulled you into a tight hug, kissing both of your cheeks. “I can’t believe the boys showed up at three this morning!”
You laughed. “It’s good to see you too. And Chris warned me a few days ago that he would probably drive up after he finished filming.”
Looking over you saw Tom holding a mug of coffee out towards you. “For me?” You reached out and took the mug from him.
“It’s the least I could do. Lisa told me how you take your coffee.” He answered, nodding towards Chris’ mom.
You took a sip, humming to yourself. “Thank you, this is perfect.” You pressed a quick kiss to Tom’s cheek before hearing Chris’ niece call for you.
“In the kitchen, sweetie” you called back out, walking towards where you heard her call from.
As the adults started getting settled into their rooms, the kids were all starting to crash from the hectic morning they’d had.
“Let’s watch a movie in the den, guys.” You suggested, grabbing blankets and pillows and throwing them on the couches and floor so that the kids would spread out and nap.
“What are we gonna watch?” one of his nephews asked.
“Well, we’ve got Goosebumps, we’ve got School of Rock, and we’ve got Bedtime Stories.” You read the movies aloud, with the kids all picking Goosebumps. About 15 minutes in, all of you were asleep in various places in the room.
Scott, Chris, and Tom were bundled up in their jackets talking on the back porch as Chris set up your grill and got it ready to use.
“So how long have you guys known Y/n?” Tom asked.
“Oh, god. It’s been…I don’t even know. It’s been years.” Chris thought about how long you guys had been friends.
“Chris met Y/n one day in New York. She was there for a book project or something and Chris had ducked inside her apartment building to get away from paparazzi.” Scott laughed, remembering Chris tell him the story.
Chris let out a big laugh. “She was getting ready to walk out and I practically ran into her. When she realized why I so rudely shoved my way into the building, she asked me ‘Do you want to do something very immature but totally worth it?’ I had to, right?”
Scott continued the story. “She led him up to her apartment and ran inside. Chris just waited at the door wondering what he’d gotten himself into when she popped back out, holding a box of water balloons.”
Tom laughed. “Oh, please tell me you threw them at the paparazzi.”
“They did. They filled a bin full of them and went to the roof.” Scott replied.
“I have never made a friend so quickly in my life” Chris said. “We got through about half of the bin before they left. Even better, they never got a picture of me throwing the balloons. The tabloids alluded to the fact that it was me, but we never officially got caught.”
“I don’t know if she adopted us or if we adopted her, but she’s been family ever since.” Scott added.
“Either way, she’s the best kind of people.” Chris said, closing the lid on the grill.
“I can see that.” Tom replied. After a short pause, he continued. “Have you two ever…dated?”
Chris grinned, remembering how Tom had looked at the two of you cuddled up in your bed. “Nah, she’s one of my best friends. Possibly my actual best friend.” he answered, sitting down next to the other two guys.
“Even though I’m sure ma would love it if you two got together.” Scott laughed.
“I think ma just wants both of us to settle down and have kids like the girls did.” Chris replied. “She treats Y/n like a daughter.”
Scott looked back at Tom. “Why the interest in Y/n’s dating life, huh?” he teased him.
“Just curious” Tom answered with straightest face he could manage.
“I don’t know” Chris continued, continuing to tease Tom. “You two looked awfully cozy last night.”
Tom’s cheeks blushed a bit before he could answer. “If a beautiful woman laid her head on your shoulder, what would you have done?”
“Fair point.” Chris laughed. “She’s single, you know” he added.
“She is” Scott echoed, smirking. “And I have a date to go shopping with her if you want me to see if she’s interested.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves” Tom replied, failing miserably at hiding his grin.
“No rush” Scott answered, putting his hands up. “I’m just saying…”
“Give him a break” Chris interrupted. “He’s got two weeks to see where things go.”
“True” Scott replied.
Part 2
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silversatoru · 3 years
Note
Hi, I just finished burdens and OML 🥺🥺🥺
May I request some sort of megumi x reader continuous where the reader ends up becoming a powerful sorcerer (or a cursed spirit👀 whichever you’d like tbh) megumi and the reader somehow cross paths again a little while after the break up and he witnesses her fighting for the first time? I just know that boy would fall in love all over again but she’s moved on and he feels guilty and just angst? And maybe fluff idk. I’m new to requests so I hope I did this right, thank you so much❤️❤️
burdens pt. 2
a/n: hello, part two of this not-so-lovely story is finally here. every single one of you is allowed one free punch to my face for taking so long to write it,,, i’m so sorry. this is its fourth rewrite and it got a little darker than expected but it’s finally done,, i hope you enjoy <3
fushiguro megumi x f!reader
synopsis: you finally see megumi again at the kyoto sister school goodwill event
tags/warnings: angst, some graphic depictions of violence, character death
word count: 3k
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“Do you know how tired I am of watching the people I love die? Things would be so much easier for me if you just stayed the fuck away”.
Megumi’s bitter words were on repeat in your head — the harshness of his voice leaving a hollow feeling carved into your chest. Tear-stained cheeks and shaky breathes had become your new normal these past few days. Tight, sharp pains filled your empty stomach, waves of nausea coursing through your body.
You’ve had no motivation to get out of bed lately, nevermind to shower or cook yourself a proper meal — honestly, for all you cared you could rot away in your blanket filled bed. You checked your phone like a fiend too, thinking that eventually, a miraculous text from Megumi would appear and make everything better. It never did.
He’d completely ghosted you since that dreadful day, and that hurt more than anything. You’d held onto a sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, he hadn't meant what he said. But as the days continued to pass, your hope quickly dwindled.
To say your current state was shameful was putting it lightly, and you were embarrassed at how poorly this was effecting you. You liked to think that you were strong, motivated, independent — that you didn't need some douchebag just to feel happy. But truth be told, breakups are fucking hard, and it's okay to not be okay for a while — or at least that's what you kept telling yourself.
So when you were trudging miserably down the street to your local convenience store and you saw a familiar pair of jujutsu sorcerers, you wanted desperately to sink into the ground. You made a quick turn to head to a different shop, but it was too late, you were spotted.
“y/n! hey!” Two lighthearted voices sang through the air, filling your ears and making your heart clench in your chest.
You turned around and anxiously approached them, your unkempt hair and baggy eyes sending looks of concern across their faces.
“Hey girl, you good?” Nobara shot you a sideways glance, Maki raising a suspicious eyebrow.
“Yeah, uh, ice cream,” You croaked, speaking for the first time in a couple days, “I’m here for ice cream, that’s all”.
“Yeah, but why do you look like a fucking zombie?” Maki pushed her eyeglasses further up her nose, her sharp eyes looking you up and down.
“Ah, he didn’t say anything to you guys, did he?” You shook your head, heavy eyes falling to ground as you refused to meet theirs.
“Don’t tell me…” Nobara’s face contorted, “Did he break up with you?”
You nodded, a pitiful chuckle falling from your lips, because if you didn’t laugh, you’d start sobbing right now.
Maki threw her arm around your shoulder, pulling you to her side and ushering you into the store, “It’s okay, men suck. Hang out with us today”.
Meanwhile, Nobara trailed quickly behind the two of you, anger seething from her teeth and steam practically billowing out of her ears.
“That fuckhead! I swear I’ll fuck his shit up big time, he won’t even know what fucking hit him. I knew that boy was stupid but shit, this is a whole new low for him! I-,” She continued to ramble and rant as Maki led you through the store, picking out drinks and snacks to help ease your pain.
The three of you ended up in a nearby park, sitting around a small picnic table and gorging on the massive array of snacks. Lighthearted conversation and lots of food make your chest ache a little less, and you even found yourself laughing and chatting as if things were normal. You’d told the two of them all about that day, about Megumi’s irrational words and his tragic breakdown that led to some kind of fucked-up break up sex.
“So, how are we gonna get back at him? Egg his car? Put bleach in his shampoo? Bugs in his food? God - it’s a shame his dad is dead because from the pictures I’ve seen that man was FINE and revenge sex—,”
“Nobara,” Maki shot her idiot girlfriend a dirty look, and the orange-haired girl quickly shut her mouth, “As much as I support any idea that revolves around ruining a man’s day, I don’t think revenge is the healthiest coping strategy here”.
You were tracing your eyes around Maki’s face as she spoke, and you found yourself carefully inspecting her purple glasses that rested softly on the bridge of her nose. And that’s when it clicked, the light bulb ignited in your head and you knew exactly what you wanted to do.
“Maki,” your voice was urgent, “You don’t have cursed energy, you can’t even see them without your glasses!”
Her face twisted and her nose scrunched, a look of distaste in her eyes, “I know?”
“So, you could teach me, right? You could help me learn how to use some cursed weapons?”
“Yeah! You have to Maki, then she can beat his ass with me,” Nobara chimed in.
“That’s not a bad idea actually,” Maki’s mouth formed an evil grin, “Could you imagine his face after watching you exorcise a curse?”
The three of your conversed for a bit longer, speculating and potting about training, weapons, and your very own pair of curse-seeing glasses. By the end of the night you had a plan, and a pretty good one if you say so yourself.
From that day on, teary eyes and achy hearts were a thing of the past, not because it was that easy to get over Megumi, but because Maki didn’t even allow you the time to feel dismal anymore. You met her everyday after classes without fail, and everyday she would train you until you thought your arms would fall off. After months and months of sore muscles, sweat, and the occasional injury, you were convinced that Maki was incapable of feeling pity or remorse for other living things. Every time you speculated about quitting, she’d set a fire under you, unafraid to remind you how weak you still were.
The green-haired sorcerer had ultimately decided that you worked best dual-armed -- a long, lightweight blade in each hand. On your final day of training, she officially gifted the two swords to you, as a “graduation” gift.
Skill-wise, you were by no means as incredible Maki, but you definitely held your own, and the progress you’d made in a mere 8 months was astronomical. They’d introduced you to a strange silver-haired man at some point, Gojo, who had taken not only an interest in you but also your plot against your ex-boyfriend. He cackled to himself when you told him why you were here, going on and on about how priceless Megumi’s face would be when he saw you.
Your appearance was highly anticipated, so why not debut at one of the biggest jujutsu events all year? The Kyoto Sister School Goodwill Event — Gojo thought it was the most perfect idea.
You tried hard to exude confidence as you walked at Nobara and Maki’s sides, but behind your arrogant facade your stomach was twisting itself into knots. Truthfully, you were scared to see Megumi again after so long.
And when your eyes met with his as you walked into the meeting room, you thought you just might pass out. You thought you were ready for this — but the look of complete shock, fear, and anger on his face as he looked you up and down almost made you regret all of it.
“What’s going on?” Megumi’s words were incredibly calculated, an edge on his voice.
His question was pointless, however, because judging by the fact that you were wearing a jujutsu tech uniform and had two swords sheathed at your sides could only mean one thing. Your hair was longer now too, and your frame was wider with an extra layer of muscle from all the training — you almost looked like a different person.
“I’ve been training with Maki, I-,” You spoke up to explain yourself, but you weren’t even granted the opportunity.
“No, no, Maki, what the hell did you do?” His eyes were shaky and laced with concern.
“I only did what she asked me to. I’m not the one who gave her a complex about being weak, you did that,” Maki shrugged, “and she’s not your girlfriend anymore dude, what do you care?”
Absolute confliction flashed through his eyes, uncertainty and madness swirling in his irises, “You’re right, I don’t care. Let me know when the event is starting”.
He took a sharp turn out of the room and let the door slam a little too hard behind him. The sound of his icey voice and the door shutting with unkind force was all too reminiscent of the night you broke up. Burying every emotion you had deep into your stomach you gave Maki a small, reassuring smile and plopped down on one of the couches.
“Alright, so when does this thing start?”
after the start of the event
Fighting the Kyoto students was proving to be much harder than you initially expected, but you were holding your own at Maki’s side. The two of you had easily taken down a small, kind, blue haired girl named Miwa, and now you were watching an emotional battle between Maki and her sister unfold.
Wait here, she’d told you, I want to do this one myself. Take some notes on my form and watch our backs, okay?
Okay, you’d said, a little confused but ultimately finding a nice spot up in a thick tree to carefully observe from. Maki was truly a force of nature, and it seemed like the other girl never actually had a chance of winning. It was honestly only a few minutes before the small black, haired girl was slumped against a tree and Maki was making her way back to you. Things were looking good, two of Kyoto’s student’s were down already and adrenaline was pumping through your veins.
You couldn't quite shake the awful feeling churning in your stomach though, and Megumi’s face was haunting your thoughts. You hadn’t seen him since before the event started, when an odd, pink haired boy jumped out of a box and freaked everyone out. Nobara had later explained who he was and what had happened, and you wondered how many awful surprises Gojo had planned today -- first you, then that.
A small rumble rippled under your feet, and Maki grabbed your arm as you watched a giant brown vine lurch it’s way out of the ground a few hundred yards in the distance.
“That technique doesn’t belong to anyone from Kyoto,” She shot you a look of concern and determination, “let’s go check it out”.
You gave her a firm nod, the two of you making your way towards the horrifying wooden vines. By the time you managed to arrive, Inumaki was already down and so was a dark-haired boy from Kyoto. A muscular, white curse with black markings and wooden branches for eyes was moments away from taking Megumi on all by himself — thank god you got here in time to help.
Megumi, however, was horrified when he saw you jump over the tall roofed building with Maki at your side. He’d just watched two incredible sorcerers get their shit rocked by this curse, there was no way you would stand a chance against this thing. But before he could even try to stop you, you and the green-haired sorcerer were flying through the air and taking shots at the curse. The two of you worked perfectly in sync, the months of daily training finally paying off.
He watched with intent glazed over his eyes, his heart threatening to lurch up his throat. You were a spectacle, and he always thought you were beautiful but seeing you now with dirt and blood stained clothes, cursed weapons gripped firmly in your hands, you truly were ethereal. He hated it though, he hated that he was falling in love with you all over again, especially under these circumstances. Guilt and anxiety was eating away at him — why did you have to get involved? Why couldn’t you have just stayed away like he told you to?
He was quick to join the two of you, sticking close to your side to protect you if need be — but, even with all three of you together the curse still had the upper hand. Maki had been swatted to the side, her back slamming hard against one of the tiled roofs and knocking her unconscious. It was down to just the two of you now, beads of sweat causing your hair to uncomfortably stick to the back of your neck. This was something that Maki’s training could have never prepared you for.
Megumi was getting tired, taking one wrong step and losing his footing momentarily. The curse saw this as a perfect window of opportunity, sending a spiral of vines and branches hurling for Megumi. It was fast, but the adrenaline coursing through you helped you to move faster, launching yourself through the air and intercepting the attack. The barky, wooden vines twisted violently through your stomach, shooting clean through your back and ripping a violent scream from your throat.
It hurt so bad, feeling the plant wriggle through your organs and tear you apart from the inside out. The curse retracted his vine a few moments later, leaving your mangled body to fall helplessly to the roof. Tears rippled from your eyes, your body shaking and seizing as you coughed up a few sprays of blood.
A long, strong pair of arms scooped you up instantaneously, and your head was resting against a firm chest — probably Megumi, but you didn’t quite have the energy to open your eyes to check.
“We’ll take it from here, get her to Ieiri!” You heard a pair of deep voices yelling to Megumi, but it was too foggy and far away for you to understand what they were saying.
Megumi was seething with anger, moving as fast as his feet could carry him and he ran through the school. As you waved in and out of consciousness, you batted open your eyes, stealing quick glances at his twisted features and — were those tears on his face?
“I- I’m sorry Megumi… I think I finally understand what you were so afraid of all this time,” Your voice was barely a croak, “when I saw it coming, I couldn’t stomach the thought of having to watch you die. I suddenly just thought I would do anything to keep you safe”.
Yeah, those were definitely tears, you could see them a little clearer now. His eyes were red and his cheeks were dried with salty streaks.
“You’re so thick-headed,” he mumbled, his grip around you tightening slightly as he picked up his pace, “I wish you would have made that realization before there was a giant hole in your stomach”.
“Me too,” You hummed, but you weren’t really in any pain anymore. The pain had subdued to a sweet warm sensation inside your stomach, and an intoxicating sleepiness was washing over your head, “I was angry for a long time, but I’m not mad at you anymore, Gumi. I hope you can forgive me too”.
You offered him a tiny smile, but the blood leaking from between you keeps made it anything but sweet.
“There’s nothing to forgive you for, you never did anything wrong,” He spoke quickly, his voice quiet and cracking.
“No, but we’re not gonna make it to Ieiri, I know that and so do you,” You fell into a violent fit of coughs again, sputtering red splatters all over the front of his uniform.
“Shut up”.
“It’s not your fault, none of it was ever your fault,” you choked out once the fit of coughs subsided — and you weren’t just talking about yourself, you were talking about all of the unfortunate tragedies he’d witnessed throughout this life.
“And you’re allowed to be selfish sometimes, you know? I hope that when you meet someone, your soulmate even, you can allow yourself to love them with every part of you”.
The words painfully left your lips, but you meant every single one of them. You were starting to realize that you and Megumi were never meant to make it to the end. You weren’t his soulmate, you were here to help him grow, so that when he did finally meet them he’d be ready.
“You deserve to be loved, Megumi,” You looked up at him with big eyes, but his face was starting to get really fuzzy now.
Your fingers were going numb and your mouth felt like it was filled with sand. You were so tired, letting your eyes flutter shut and your head rest softly against Megumi’s chest. You felt him stop running, you could even hear him screaming at you — but it was too far away for you to hear. You drifted closer and closer to eternal sleep, your soul swollen with love for the boy who broke your heart.
Megumi didn’t even feel sad when you stopped breathing in his arms — he just felt hollow. More empty and broken than he’d ever thought possible. You were the most incredible person he’d ever met — someone with extreme motivation, who acted with no fear or hesitation, who always had love to give, even when he didn’t deserve it. He’d never forget you, not for as long as he’d live anyway.
Even when he did meet a new girl a few years later — a compassionate, brave girl, who reminded him a lot of you — he wouldn’t forget. He wouldn’t forget your words and for the first time in his life he’d let his walls down for her. He’d allow himself to truly love, and be loved in return.
And maybe you were right, maybe he did deserve to be loved like this, because god, he finally feels whole again when she’s around. He just wishes you were still here so he could say thank you.
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volleychumps · 3 years
Text
« Ghost.
~ the one in which Sakusa Kiyoomi sees you happy after he broke your heart.
format: One-shot
genre: angst
- Sakusa Kiyoomi x Reader
Warning(s): Use of alcohol, set in after-high school 
One of my older requests I’ve kept, this fic is influenced by the song ‘Ghosts’ by Jeremy Zucker. Although it’s not a song fic, very sad content is ahead. 
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“I told you to wear your gloves.” 
“Whaaat? Why would I do that when your pockets are so warm?” 
“How convenient for you.” 
“Here, put your hands in here with me. Live a little, take your gloves off! It’s so warm~”
Sakusa swallowed. Dark eyes stared blankly through the glass out into the deluge of rain, a slightly damp travel bag seated on the plastic seat next to him, a gentle prod of his fingers making him snap out of it. Komori sends him a worried stare, noting that his cousin seemed to have changed a lot from his travel abroad. 
The slight glimmer in Sakusa’s eyes before he left was just as dimmed the day he boarded that plane. 
“Does anyone else know you’re back in Japan?” 
“Who would I tell?” Sakusa shrugged as his cousin met him with a incredulous stare. “The team is expecting my return-” 
“That’s not what I meant.” 
Sakusa stiffens, clearing his throat before sipping the warm beverage before him. He didn’t taste anything, eyes flitting over to the half-drunken matcha in his cousin’s cup. That reminds him of- 
“You didn’t tell Y/N?” 
There it is. 
Silence filled the distance between the two before Sakusa’s dark coffee hits the table with a prominent thud. 
“It’s not like she would want to see me.” 
“She could never hate you, you know. Especially after-” 
“Komori.” Sakusa’s stare hardened, fingers clasping at ceramic. Komori’s lips press back together in a thin line, opting to swirl the matcha tea in his cup before bowing his head slightly in apology. 
“I told you that you wouldn’t like it.” 
“Blegh! How do you drink it so strong?” 
“...swap with me.” 
“Don’t tell me you ordered a matcha because you knew I wouldn’t like it.” 
“Ha. Don’t get ahead of yourself.” 
“Awh, Kiyoomi-Kun!” 
“Gross.” 
The rain was less now, the two figures in the rain under the abandoned shop seeming to dissapitate with the downpour. It was him, holding a girl’s hands in his pockets as he stubbornly adjusts the hat on her head. Two half-drunken drinks that had been swapped sat next to them- 
“Let’s get going, yeah?” Komori stands, having finished his tea as Sakusa rips his gaze away from the familiar scene. 
“You seem tired from all the traveling. Didn’t you get any sleep on the plane?” 
He hasn’t slept well in a long while. 
“I did.” He finishes the americano in one go, ignoring the burn in his throat as he longs for the taste of alcohol. “Lead the way.” 
Sakusa casts one more glance through the glass window. The two figures were nowhere to be seen. 
----------------------------------------------------
His thumb grazed his phone screen over your contact. Backspace. Hello-. Backspace. Delete. Hover over delete option. Back to messages. I’m back in-.
Sakusa sighs through his nose, a futile attempt to release the tightness in his chest, before turning on his side as the sun peeks in through his window. Five hours at most, a lot better than his usual nights. 
Perhaps it was because he knew you were a mere cardrive away. 
“Why are you here?” 
“...it was on the way.” 
“So...what can I do for you?” 
Silence. 
“Unless....no way, did you miss me?” 
“No.” 
“You answered too fast, meaning you’re lying.”
“So what if I did?” 
“Come here Kiyoomi, spend the night.” 
He throws his phone. 
--------------------------------------------------------
“You hurt her, you know that?” 
“Is she...doing okay?” 
Sugawara sighs heavily, running a hand through his gray locks across from the stoic boy. Sakusa was lucky at least one of your friends was willing to give him the time of day, seated across one of your more gentle friends in the university library. 
“...she’s doing fine. She’s holding down a gig at Onigiri Miya while she finishes her degree.” Sugawara stands, guilt filling his hazel eyes before hardening slightly. “But you don’t get to ask about her.” 
“I know.”
“You walked away from her when all she did was give you everything her world had to offer.”  
Sakusa grits his teeth. “I know.” 
“Do you?” Sugawara wasn’t easily irritated, flipping a page in his textbook before meeting your ex with an even stare. “If you knew how hard it was for everyone to pick up the pieces-” 
“Thanks for meeting me.” Sakusa’s chair scraped the floor as he stood abruptly, heart pounding in his ears. He felt Suga’s stare on his back as he exited the library, stopping at the exit as his breathing picks up. 
“Am I even allowed here?” 
“It’s fine. Relax! You look like a Uni student.”
“...Y/N.” 
“Hm?”
“I-” 
“Sakusa?” 
It had been a whole year since he heard that voice, not haunting his dreams, but in reality. Dark eyes widen a fraction as his breath catches in his throat at the smile that spreads across your lips. You had gotten more beautiful than the image his mind spun back and forth, rooting him in place.
“You’re back?” 
“...Mm.” 
“That’s great! Tell the team I’m looking forward to your welcome home party tonight. It was great seeing you.” 
Sakusa’s lips parted, but no words came out. He was taken back abruptly as your shoulder brushed his as you walked past
“Don’t be a burden.” 
“K-Kiyoomi, how could you-?” 
“I don’t need to leave something annoying behind me when I leave to train.”
“Something? Kiyoomi, it’s me. It’s us-” 
“Don’t wait for me.” 
“I will! You just need to say the word, and-” 
“Are you usually this pathetic? We were never in love, Y/N. You were just convenient.” 
“You’re lying-!” 
“Good luck, Y/N. I don’t know when or if I’ll be back. Don’t look for me.”
He needed to let you go, no matter what lies stain his tongue. He needed you to be okay without him, not looking out the window everyday in hopes that promises over text and call were enough. 
And that was the day he brushed past you, a stream of even tears falling from your widened eyes as your heart shattered in your chest- 
not realizing that the sight of Sakusa’s back shielded the view of the single trickling tear down his cheek. 
But still, he kept walking. 
“Y/N.” 
Dark eyes widen when you flinch on instinct, Sakusa’s hand hovering in mid-air over your arm before your smile is back. His chest tightens as he realizes that it’s merely polite, not holding the same love it once did. 
You tilted your head, and Sakusa could feel his fingers tremble at the shine in your eyes. 
“I gotta go, Sakusa. Suga’s waiting. It was great to see you though, you look good.”
It was his turn to watch your back as unshed heat brimmed his eyes, but you don’t look back to notice. 
...Sakusa?
-------------------------------------------
“I need to go for a walk.” 
“What? Dude, this is your party.” Atsumu blinks in disbelief as Bokuto and Hinata chow down on plate after plate of onigiri. His friends bustle around the shop, but you were no where to be seen. 
“Five minutes, you imbecile. I won’t run away.”
“You better not!” Atsumu slurs, on the edge of absolutely hammered as he flashes Sakusa a wide thumbs-up. “You’ll make our guests sad!” 
Out of everyone in this party, he wanted to see you the most.
Sakusa manages to make it out the back door, planning to watch for your arrival until he sees your figure seated not far away in the grass, cradling a single drink in your hand as your eyes stare up at the clouded stars. Faded, but they were barely there as your eyes seemed to be questioning the world up above. 
It was a lie. 
Sakusa’s nails bit into his palms. 
It wasn’t just convenient for him. 
He swallows back the lump in his throat. 
You were his world. His first and last love. 
He begins to take a step-
Please let him be your last. 
“Whatcha doin’ out here?” 
He stops in place, watching from mere feet away as Osamu Miya plops down in the grass next to you. You jokingly protest as Osamu takes your drink, taking a swig from it before looking at you with something in his eyes. 
No. It wasn’t something new to Sakusa, because that’s the way he used to look at you. 
“...He came back.” Your voice was almost a whimper, and Osamu gently tugs you to lean your head on his shoulder.
“I know.” 
“I’m happy, Osamu.” 
“I didn’t say anythin’.” 
Sakusa should’ve walked away. He should’ve willed his feet to move, but he couldn’t. All his dark eyes could do was watch as you rolled your eyes playfully, tugging the drink out of Osamu’s hands before setting it down and cupping his face with one hand-
Doing that thing where your hand slipped into Osamu’s denim jacket pocket. 
“I love you. He was the past. You are my present. And...my future, hopefully?”
Osamu’s lip twitches upwards as he turns his face so he can kiss your palm that’s cupping his cheek. 
“I know, princess. You’re allowed to be sad, I’m not a monster.” Osamu pauses, thinking for a second before nodding once. “Unless you want me to be a monster, I can beat-” 
He’s cut off as you roll your eyes, smiling as you kiss him so lovingly- 
Ah. This must’ve been how you felt the day he left you in pieces. 
Sakusa wanted to scream, but a warm trickle of wetness slipped down his cheeks instead as it began to rain, the clouded stars turning darker ironically as Sakusa realizes that the shop he’s standing outside of-
the abandoned one where he kept you warm that winter night. 
It was now Onigiri Miya. 
He felt his legs almost give out as he stumbles to the side of the building, shielding him from view as your panicked laughs sound over the rain. 
“Y/N. I...I think I-”
“Kiyoomi?”
“What?” 
“I’ll love you more than you’ll ever know.” 
Sakusa couldn’t tell if the drops on his face was the rain, feeling like he was floating as his skin became numb to the cold.
In fact, he wished that this was one of his dreams, the ones where he punished himself with images of you in his arms. 
That way, he could keep on living with your ghost.
--------------------------------------------------
Brb It’s not like I’m vv sad as I write this. 
General works: @takemetovalhalla @kasandrafaye @savemesteeb @dreebbles   @yams046 @let-me-have-my-own-name @deadontheinsidebut @lifeisntjustblackandwhite @curiouslilbeast @aprettyfruit @wisepandaslimeland @h0ngh0ngh0ng @lmkjimin @orangegiraffe7 @dai-tsukki-desu @kac-chowsballs @spikertrash @yamaguwuchi @lord-suneater-explosion @nekomawhore @holaaaf@babyybokutoakaashi @lexysclubhouse @disneyloving-muggle
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laketaj24 · 3 years
Text
Serotonin II
Author’s Note: Here it is! I am taking requests, and the taglist is open, drop your name under this fic or on this list if you are interested! This does have a prior part but can be read as a standalone.
Pairing: Colson Baker x Reader
Warning: Smut, breeding kink
Inspo Song: Bad Things
Part I
My MASTERLIST
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Colson: Busy?
Y/N: Why would I be busy?
Colson: For sure ain’t been answering my texts 🥱
Y/N: You need something, Col?
Colson: You know you only call me Col when you’re half asleep or whimpering my name when you about to cum. Let me come over.
Tongue-tied, his messages left you baffled. They were a smooth variation of sexting mixed with pleading. Every message included a very Colson apology but a rebuttal that followed and reminded you why you couldn’t fall back in the same routine with him. It was easy to picture yourself back with him, nestled against his lean frame - listening to his voice as it rumbled against his chest as he rambled on. You saw it clear as day, but the truth of the matter was he didn’t do what you required to have you back in his life. Fucking you in the bathroom of some club like a whore, giving your body a fix, but your heart and mind still felt that hesitation when it came to Mr. Baker.
“Are you listening?” Dana asked, holding up the soy powder milk for your nephew.
“I heard you clear as day.”
“You sure you didn’t just daydream the entire I talked about not feeding Jaylen after seven?” Dana placed the soy milk on the table and glanced down at her newborn. “If you’re not up to it, I can stay. I hate going out of town so soon after having him.” She tapped her soon on the back a few times and exhaled.
“We will be fine.”
“You say this, but I don’t believe you.”
“Why?”
“You’re head has been shot ever since you broke up with the delinquent.” She rolled her eyes. “And what pisses me off is Tyla loves him!” She whispered and turned her attention to the seven-year-old parked in front of the tv. “I mean worships him.”
“I know. Colson is good with kids.”
“Because he’s childish.” She added. “He’s basically a six variant of one.”
“You can’t say one thing nice?”
“His music isn’t shitty,” Dana added. “I will be back at eight for the both of them, and I swear not to do this again, just my boss needs me, and their dad is busy.” She lied. “So- I love you, sis. Call Eric!” Dana kissed your cheek and sprinted out the door without another word.
Eric, you hadn’t seen him since you left the club a week ago, and you barely responded to his texts. The ride home was awkward; the entire time, he talked about how much he enjoyed the night. And the only thing you could think about was getting bent over in the bathroom by your ex. Good date.
Auntie duty had started. Diapers, Tiktok, YouTube, and some weird pig cartoon lay ahead of you for the next nine hours. Jaylen slept peacefully in his playpen, unbothered by his mother's lack while Tyla consumed her tv.
Colson: I got food open the door.
Y/N: What door?
Colson: Your apartment door. It’s Chipotle.
Fuck, you were hungry.
Y/N: Leave the food on the porch.
Colson: I’m not a god damn door dash.
The abrupt knocking startled Jaylen, soo you took him in your arms and walked to the door, “Stay in the living room Tyla.”
“K,” She answered, not even looking up from her phone.
You opened the door revealing Colson in his pink hoodie and gray joggers. He held bags of food in his hand and garnished a big smile on his face, “You look good with a baby.”
“Why are you here?”
“You wouldn’t come to see me or invite me over, so invited myself over. Can I come in?”
“No.” Jaylen stirred in your arms, his plump little legs kicked, and you sighed. “I am busy today. That’s why I didn’t invite you over. I have to keep my nieces and nephews, and every time you are over here, you either curse too much or we end up fucking.”
“Watch your mouth.” He teased.
“How were you texting with all that in your hands?” You stared at him.
“You know I got talented hands.”
“Colson!”
Why? You grimaced inwardly before looking at your overly excited niece, she loved Colson, and you hated to admit, he might be an asshole sometimes, but he loved kids. He was a wonder with them. You slapped your face, disappointed there was not a way to hide the massive man at your door. “He can’t stay.” You answered before the question left your lips.
“Why? Please!” Tyla pouted her pink lips and threw her arms up in defeat. “We never see him anymore.”
“That’s your aunt’s fault,” Colson added fuel to the fire. “I won’t stay long.” He pushed through, entering your apartment to greet Tyla with a hug at her level and a sly wink to you. Kids were the way to your heart – and his, but he would not win you over with this bullshit today. Not at all. “You hungry, Tyla?”
“Yeah, ten minutes, and you’re out.”
“Damn.”
“Tiktok?’ she held up her phone and the ring light from her purple book bag. “Please.”
“Word, what are we learning?” He raised his brows to you and proceeded to make himself comfortable on the couch; she was ecstatic, immediately standing to do a dance and drag you over to learn it too. Tiktok had become the bane of your existence, but for Tyla and her half a million followers, she was golden.
One hour later and you were tired, you’d perfected the dance, and Colson had convinced her to let him skip the dancing and just be—it was all he had to do though, she’d get one million views just because of who he was, and now everyone would know you were with him. Your heart dropped a little thinking about the exposure while she edited the video next to both of you.
“Why is Uncle Colson never around?” Tyla never looked up from her phone; she just continued her mission of posting that sixty-second video and ruining your life.
“He’s not your uncle.” You corrected.
“That’s your aunt’s fault too.” He added.
“Don’t start with me.” The harsh whisper came out as a warning, waking baby Jaylen from his nap and making Colson chuckle in amusement.
“I like him; I want him in the family.”
“I want a million dollars.”
“I can give you that.” He said.
“And a loyal boyfriend who doesn’t text insta-sluts in his spare time.”
“Don’t use sluts in front of her damn; your mouth is outrageous Y/N.”
The narrowing of your eyes made him burst into laughter again. He was damn good at annoying you like he had it mastered.
The day passed quickly with him making eyes at you, caring for Jaylen while she styled Colson’s hair in four ponytails atop his head, garnished with bows, and she even attempted to give him edges. He didn’t care; as long as she was happy, he was good.
“You look a mess.”
“It’s cool.” Colson snapped a picture. “Been waiting forever to see if ponytail was for me or not; it’s a no.” He sat back on the couch while Tyla disappeared to your room for god knows what else. “You look good with babies, you know?”
“You’ve said that.”
“I meant it; you’re good with them too.” He sighed. “I thought about kids with us, like every damn day.”
“Funny.” You shrugged, and she appeared with your bright pink polish. “What’re you doing, Tyla?”
“Painting his nails.” She plopped down in front of him, and without hesitation, he held his hand out for her. “We did blue last time.”
“Yep.” He exhaled. “Don’t you want this?”
He didn’t have to elaborate; you knew what he was talking about, but a family was the last thing from your mind, no matter how perfect the scenario looked right now. “Do you?”
Colson smacked his lips. “We can talk later.”
“You leaving when they do.” You reiterated.
The door opened thirty minutes later without a knock or doorbell; Dana never announced herself. “I see he found his way back in.” Her mouth dropped as soon as her eyes met him. “Tyla just had her way today, didn’t she.” She laughed. “Oh god, she gave this man braids.”
“Your daughter is talented.” He laughed. “Might be a new look.”
“Ridiculous.” She held her laughter. “Ty, get up and come on, love; we have a long drive.” She took Jaylen from your chest and gave you a look. “How long is he staying?”
“Not long, sis, drive safe.”
“I will. Colson, you leave in ten minutes, or I’m sending our brother over.” She pointed to him.
“I’m not scared of Michael; send him.” Why did his arrogance only make you want him more? He looked to Dana, who, like him, was not bothered.
“I hate him.” She mumbled as she left. “I just fucking hate him.”
“It’s mutual!” Colson laughed as the door shut. “You’re gonna stay over there the whole time?”
“Aint no reason for me to be over there for real.” You thought of three reasons to stay where you were, the drop in his voice, the tension in this room that could be cut with a knife, and when he was alone with you, your willpower was nonexistent. “You have five minutes.”
“We aren’t going to talk about this, are we? You like being evasive and shit? That you’re new persona?”
“I have no new persona. This is me not playing into all the bullshit you bring when you’re with me. This is a wall.”
“I’m about to knock that wall over.” He smirked.
“Stay on your couch.” You warned.
Colson held his hands up, acting defenseless, “I wasn’t moving from this spot.”
“My sister hates you, you know that? She literally said that I would be better off leaving Cali before staying here with your toxic ass.” You found yourself pointing at him and wanting to knock that smile from his face. Colson liked to see you get feisty with him; he called that foreplay, and here you were dancing to the beat of his drum, pissed.
“How am I toxic? I stopped all that shit for you, every ounce of it.”
“Stop lying.”
Colson grinned at you, unwavering in his position and impressed that you were persistent in yours; your usual fights lasted about one day. You’d take him back, and everything went back to how it was before, but that changed nothing; you wanted him to change. “I am not lying to you. Come here.”
You walked over to him, taking his hand and allowing him to pull you down in his lap. Facing him, you admired all the little cuts he’d earned over the years in senseless fights or accidents. Your fingers traced over them before you cupped his face. What the fuck were you doing? Why were the two of you akin to magnets? Drawing one another in half of the time and then at the flip of a side hating one another? You placed your lips on him, parting his lips with your tongue and then flicking playfully over his teeth before he caught your bottom lip with his teeth and tugged. The slight pressure made you moan against him. He cradled your neck with one hand, not allowing you to escape him. Colson deepened the kiss, adding pressure and taking what little breath you had away. “I fucking miss you, Y/N.” He rasped.
"Don't talk.”You murmured back.
Colson didn’t listen; he never listened.  “You were good with them today.”
You growled, grinding your hips on him. “Shut up, Colson.”
“I want to talk to you, I want you back Y/N, shit. Like I am trying, I canceled recording sessions, appearances, and other shit all this month so we can figure this out. I don’t want to-,”
You stopped him from talking, gripping his cock through the sweats with one hand and kissing him to shut up.
“Stop.” In one fluid motion, your hands were by your side, and your eyes were on his, “We’re talking; I was not fucking other women. But I was entertaining them, and it’s no excuse. I know you’re hurt; I’m sorry. Like real talk, no joke – I apologize.”
“How do I know it won’t happen again?’
“I'll delete all this shit for you,” He admitted. “Fuck a platform.”
“You’re so dramatic.”
“I’m dead ass right now. Fuck it all. I just want you.”
“If it happens again, I am never taking you back, ever.”
“It won’t.” He whispered, loosening the grip on your hands.
You took advantage of the notion, moving your hand down to his cock, rubbing the hilt through his sweats again.
“Nah,” He gripped your hair, pulling you back, so your eyes met him. “It’s my turn now.” He pushed aside your shorts in seconds, and his fingers plunged into your pussy, curling for a moment and then spinning out of you. He placed his fingers on your lips, “Open up.” You didn’t hesitate to take his fingers, licking your own juices from them, and he tapped your face sending a slight pleasurable sting. “How you taste?”
“Ready.” You pulled him from the sweats feeling him jump at your cool hands, and stood up, wriggling out of the shorts before hovering back over him again.
Colson playfully tosses you on your couch, draping one leg to the ground. “Let me taste.” He whispered as he descended between your legs. Colson’s fingers brushed your swollen clit, before his lips latched on, sucking. You bowed from the couch, the moans and scratched to his shoulders done nothing but encourage. He lapped up your juices before diving his tongue into you and swirling around. You gasped, surprised and pleased as he worked.
“Col-“ You gripped his shoulders, lifting yourself from laying down, and he took full advantage, pulling you onto his face and fucking you with his tongue. Your body coiled, the jolts of pleasure popped around your body, and then you came. The white-hot energy surged through your body, and you panted, shaking, almost collapsing back on the couch. He caught you peppering the wet kisses from your pussy to your mouth.
“You good?”
“Better than.” You whispered, breathing heavily. “ Shit.”
“We’re not done.” Of course, you weren’t; his cock throbbed against his leg, waiting to ruin your life, and here you were still out of breath. Colson gently pulled you from the couch, sitting you in his lap, and he started once again with the kisses. You could taste yourself on his lips, and for some reason, that just made you wetter for him. He took advantage of stroking himself before he lowered you down on him. You took every inch, mouth slightly open and hair swinging the entire time. You pressed your breast against his chest, savoring the warm feeling of his cock inside of you, and then you started moving on him. Your muscles clenched around, gripping him with each stroke. Your clit rubbed against his pelvic bone; you took that added pleasure in stride biting your lip as it intensified every time your skin met.
Colson’s eyes were hooked on you, his fingers dug in your ass, guiding you up and down on his cock, urging you to keep going, and there was no way in hell you were going to stop. You could feel it building once again, this time bigger. “Hold it.” He whispered, knowing you were about once more. “Not yet.”
“Ah,” Impatience grew over you; you slowed your ride, winding your hips slowly, your eyes closed as you took over, fucking up into you, guiding your body to take more. “I can’t.” You whined as you fought to hold the orgasm back.
“Yeah, you can.” He slammed into you harder, knocking the breath from you, your toes curled, and you screamed as you shook against him. “I wanna feel that pussy shake around me when I cum; hold it.” He slapped your clit with three fingers, and your breath hitched. “Hold it.” His hand travels up your shirt to your bare stomach, and he kisses you once more. “Y/N.”  His hips rocked slowly, but then he started to fuck you quicker, the tip of his dick hitting your g-spot each time. You were a screaming mess, biting down on his shoulder. That done the trick he spasms against you growling. His warm cum triggered you. You came, sinking down and taking all of it. “Shit, you cheated.”
“You would’ve lasted forever.” You smiled lazily.
“Is that a complaint or a compliment?”
“Both.”
You wince, sliding off him, “right.” He rolled his eyes. “Now we gotta eat reheated Chipotle.” he stood up, fixing his pants. “Can I stay?”
“I guess.” You pulled the blanket over you, snuggling into your favorite place on the couch. He heads into the kitchen, and you reach for your phone, wondering what threat your sister had for you.
Meg: Are you still coming tonight?
This was not your phone; of course, it wasn’t. You unlocked the phone, clicking her name to look at the messages. But there is only red as Colson makes his way back into the living room. You throw the phone across the room, hitting the wall, and he stares at you. “What the fuck?”
“Take you and that Chipotle and get out.”
“Damn, what the Chipotle do?”
  A/N: One more part coming. I’ll drop it next week, I think! Thank yall for reading! Let me know what you think!!
Taglist: @taytayize123​ @ctrlszn @supernaturalvikingwhore @jae-writes-fanfiction @bigsisbria @placeoffreedom @kyla-queen @missdforever @gottatoxicattitude @bang-kim-bap @msreshel @blowmymbackout @titty-teetee @strawberry-skyes @mauvecherie @savageiz @bang-kim-bap @luci-her @littlelovebug98 @babyboy-cody @hellshedevil @daddyavesxx @crystalbaby12 @jeonsblackgf
commenters from serotnin who might be interested: @mgkmerchstyles @mayaslifeinabox
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lovely-ateez · 3 years
Text
Broken Strings~
ꕥPosted: 7/20/21
ꕥGenre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, College!au, Rockstar!au
ꕥPairing: Fem!Reader x Rockstar!Yunho
ꕥWord Count: 10k+
ꕥWarnings (please read all!!): Yunho’s ex is an absolute asshat, death threats towards both Yunho and reader, mention of knives used as weapons, San is a bisexual king (happy late pride month), unprotected pool sex/public sex (no one is around but I guess it still counts), masturbation (f), foul language, mentions of alcohol intake, reader is mentioned to have dark brown eyes several times which you can just ignore if you have different colored eyes ofc, mentions of a restraining order against an ex, please let me know if I missed something!!
ꕥTag List: @cappujinho @bobateastay @nevieatiny 
ꕥA/N: The song lyrics are ones that I wrote myself specifically for this au and I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t nervous about posting it. I know there isn’t any tune or anything, but hopefully it sounds like a real song someone might sing. Also I’m not writing angst for a while after this holy shit I’ve been crying too much over this I’m emotional okay
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“Date night! Date night! Date night!” I grabbed my boyfriend’s arm, bouncing on my toes.
Yunho raised a hand to cover his ear, scrunching his face, “Babe, I love you, but I think you’ve deafened me.”
I pouted at his tone and crossed my arms, “You’re such a grump.”
“Oh whatever.” He smiled, “You ready?”
I smiled at him and nodded.
Ever since his band, Sidekick Heart, began to pick up traction, he had less free time and our full-day dates once a week soon became date nights every few weeks. Most of his time was spent writing songs, producing them, and practicing endlessly. The fact that he had a tour coming up soon just meant he had even less spare time. I was happy for him, of course, but I couldn’t hide my disappointment that he was leaving.
In middle school, he and three of his friends formed a band for fun, which they kept with all throughout high school. They got good, really good and almost right after they graduated they were signed by a label. Now, three years later, they’d already released two albums and one EP and earned enough money to make a living, which was why Yunho dropped out of college a month ago. Since he had steady career path, he saw no reason to continue and decided to focus on music. He still visited me at college whenever he got the chance, but his visits were becoming more and more sporadic.
We started dating freshman year of college. We had our difficulties as most couples do, but everyday I thanked the stars for pairing us together. I met him on the first day of French class, a day I know I could never forget, no matter how how our future played out.
I sat my backpack on the table in front of me, looking around the empty classroom. I was ten minutes early, so I wasn’t surprised about the lack of students. It was a bit unlikely for me to be so early, but I wasn’t able to sleep the night before and so I had extra time to get ready. With nothing else to do, I took out my phone, reading some missed text messages.
I heard the door open and my head tilted upwards, meeting eyes with a fluffy-haired brunet. He shyly smiled at me and I returned the gesture. The man took a seat in the front row across from me, only a few chairs in between us. I found it cute that he liked to sit in the front of the classroom, too. Very few people did. He turned away from me to place his backpack on the floor and take out a few books. I took the opportunity to look at him. He was attractive, for sure. His short sleeved solid black shirt followed his movements, tattoos peaking through his top. The shirt itself tucked was into ripped jeans, his black shoes matching the outfit, along with various accoutrements. His look was uncommon for college students, most just wore sweatpants with with a casual shirt. I thanked myself for dressing nice that day.
I tilted my head to get a better look at his side profile. He was so handsome that I seemed to forget I was staring. I couldn’t help but get caught up in him, not realizing that I was no longer being subtle.
He spoke without moving to face me, “You’re pretty cute, too.”
“I-I what?” My eyes widened, realizing I’d been caught.
He turned, a charming smile on his face, “You aren’t exactly discreet.”
I took a breath, trying to form a coherent sentence, “Well...can you blame me?”
He pursed his lips, trying to hide a smile, “I appreciate the compliment. What’s your name?”
I hesitated before answering him, which brought a full smile to his face. He moved closer to me before holding out his hand for me to shake. I grabbed his hand and shook it, trying to keep my hands steady. His hand was soft, clearly he took care of himself.
“I’m Yunho.”
I smiled, observing the way he lit up as he turned my hand, placing a delicate kiss on my skin. I felt my face heat up and averted my eyes. Yunho chuckled as he released my hand. Both of us looked up at the sound of the door opening, a group of students entered, followed by a lady who I presumed to be the teacher.
Yunho looked at me, “Meet me after class?”
I nodded, biting my lip as I felt excitement build in my stomach, wanting nothing more than for class to end as soon as possible.
The instant the teacher ended her lecture she left with the rest of the students, who were talking among themselves. My eyes flickered to Yunho to find him looking back at me, his backpack now thrown over his shoulders.
“You have any classes after this?” He asked in a nonchalant manner. Later he confessed to me that he was far more nervous than he appeared, claiming that he fell in love with me at first sight.
I finished placing my notebook in my bag, zipping it up and putting the straps over my arms, “Yeah, unfortunately. I’ve got World Politics in ten minutes.” 
“Aww damn. I was hoping we could grab some food.” He reached into his pants’ pocket, pulling out his phone, “Maybe I could get your number instead and we could meet up later?” He wasn’t pushy or demanding, simply asking.
I nodded quickly, “I’d like that, Yunho.”
He suddenly became more shy, the tips of his ears dusting a beautiful shade of pink, “I like the way you say my name.”
I giggled, trying to hide my own shyness. I took his phone and entered my number, really hoping that he would text me. As if he read my mind, he confirmed what I was thinking.
“I’ll text you,” He looked at me with sparkling eyes before shaking his head, like he was pulled back to reality, “Oh uh...you should probably get to class.“ He raised a hand, somewhat awkwardly scratching the back of his head.
“Yeah I probably should. I’ll see you around?”
He smiled, “I’ll see ya.”
-
It wasn’t long before he texted me, and it made my heart flutter that he kept his word. A day later we met up, grabbing ice cream and getting to know each other. He was a dance major and had to practically beg his parents to let him pursue dance. In return they said he had to repay them with getting straight A’s. He had one younger brother who was possibly the biggest baseball fan to ever exist, he roomed with three men he’d been friends with since kindergarten, and he absolutely adored my brown eyes.
“They’re just beautiful.” Yunho gushed, “Both times I’ve seen you they just sparkle and shine like they’ve got their own little galaxies in them. I’ve never seen anyone with such genuine, kind eyes.”
I let out a girly laugh at the compliment and covered my mouth with a hand, “You’re really trying to flatter me, aren’t you?”
“Depends. Is it working?” He laughed as he propped his head on one of his hands, leaning closer to me in the booth we were sitting in. We’d finished our ice cream long ago, now shamelessly flirting and getting lost in each other.
“It might be.”
“Well I do mean it. I’m not only trying to flatter you.”
The ringing of his phone caught our attention. He smiled apologetically and reached for the device. He sighed, reading the contact name and looking back up at me.
“I’m sorry I’ve gotta take this. It’s one of my roommates and it’s entirely possible they’ve set the house on fire.”
I laughed, “It’s okay, go ahead.”
Yunho excused himself as he answered the call, walking outside. I took a look around the shop we were in, smiling at all the decorations when I noticed a woman sitting alone, eating ice cream and staring at me. Her eyes were such an ice blue that they made her intimidating, to say the least. I wasn’t too surprised, I’d dressed nice and all throughout the day I’d been getting looks. Taking it as a compliment I smiled at her and waited for Yunho to return.
“So good news,” He started as he sat back down in the booth, running a hand through his hair, which was way more attractive than it should’ve been, “They haven’t burnt down the apartment, but San—he’s one of my roommates—his car ran out of gas a few miles away from here so I’ve gotta go help him. Can I drive you back to your own apartment first?”
“Oh no, I don’t want to worry you.” I waved a hand, “I can have a friend pick me up.”
He nodded, “If you’re more comfortable with that, sure, but I’d rather drive you home, if that’s okay.”
I nodded, walking with him as he guided me out to his car. We had our first kiss when he dropped me off, leaving me with the promise of another date, and he delivered. Time and time again he proved he truly cared about me, which inevitably led to a relationship.
We heard a loud crashing in the basement of the house and Yunho let out a frustrated groan, “Oh god it’s happening again.”
He walked over to the basement door, opening it and sighing at the loud yells emitting from below.
“What is it this time?” Yunho shouted.
Wooyoung’s voice rung out, “San won’t let me use the controller!”
The man in front of me placed a hand over his eyes, over the situation entirely, “You’re still fighting over that game?”
“Crash Bandicoot waits for no man!”
“San let him have the controller or I’ll come down there and I’ll beat both of your asses!” Yunho shut the door, giving me a tired smile and walking back to me, “You’d think we would’ve outgrown this stage by now. I’d fire them both and hire a new bassist and drummer if I could.”
“Okay that’s an absolute lie, and you say that like you’re any better. I saw you arguing with Seonghwa over the last bag of chips yesterday.”
He pointed a finger at me, not trying to hide the smile on his face, “Okay that was absolutely valid. I bought those and they were mine.”
I smirked. “My point still stands.”
He rolled his eyes playfully, changing the subject, “How about after our date I sing you a couple of our new songs?” He leaned closer, his lips barely grazing my ear, “I wrote a few about you.”
I pulled back from him, feeling warmth spread in my chest. “Really? You did?”
Yunho wrapped an arm around my waist, “How could I not? You’re always my inspiration.”
I let out a string of incoherent gibberish which prompted the most adorable eye smiles from my boyfriend. I felt too honored to put my emotions into words.
“Go on.” Yunho motioned to the front door, “Grab your purse and head out to my car. I’ll let the guys know we’re going and I’ll meet you outside.”
I gave him a salute, “You got it cap’n!”
His eyes warmed, “God, I love you.”
“I know!” I teased before I grabbed my purse and skipped out of the house. The sun would be setting soon and I admired the several hues that were painted within the sky. I sat on the hood of his car, swinging my feet as I saw him walk out of the house.
“So where exactly are we going?” I tilted my head, looking forward to his response.
“Well I’ve got a couple ideas.” He held up his long fingers and counted off on them, “We could go bowling, or we could have a late night picnic, or maybe...” He moved closer, placing his hands on either side of me with a mischievous grin, “We could go swimming.”
My face lit up, “I haven’t been swimming in forever!”
“I know, that’s why I recommended it.” He laughed, “Let’s break into the swimming pool downtown. It’s definitely closed by now so we can be alone.”
I raised my brows at his words, a smile widening on my face, “Don’t we need to bring swimsuits, though?”
Yunho grinned at me and moved a hand to ruffle my hair, “Nope. We’re going without ‘em.” He lifted me off his car, “Hop in, babe.”
-
We approached the fence with our hands interlocked, a new message greeting us. A red and black sign with the words ‘No Trespassing’ was attached haphazardly to one of the metal wires looped through the fence surrounding the pool.
Yunho tsked, “Aw that’s cute. Like that’s gonna keep us out. This is basically our pool anyways.” 
I laughed, both of us knowing full well there was no method of security beyond the sign and fence. The pool had never installed security cameras and after word spread that the owner had a fear of advancing technology, we had no worry of being caught.
He cupped his hands, holding them out for me to step on. I placed my foot on his hands as he lifted me up, helping me scale the fence. I stepped back, feeling a thrill as Yunho jumped over. It was probably the fourth or fifth time we’d done this, but each time was just as exciting. We walked over to the edge of the pool, its light blue water and the dark blue of the sunset opposing one another but making a beautiful visual.
“Alright, off we go.” Yunho’s fingers danced to the hem of my shirt, then pulling it off and ridding me of the layer of clothing. He pressed several kisses to the exposed skin, making me shiver.
Yunho then pulled back from me, slowly removing his shirt and giving me a teasing look when he caught me staring at his abs, “I look good, don’t I?”
“Shut up,” I laughed, lightly slapping his strong, tattooed arm before removing my skirt, enjoying the way my boyfriend’s eyes devoured me. I returned the action when I saw him remove his jeans, something he was clearly enjoying as well.
I turned back to the pool only to be thrown over Yunho’s shoulders. He let out a string of laughs as I struggled to get down, fearing that he would throw me into the water.
“If you throw me into the pool I’ll kill you!” I laughed, squirming on his shoulders.
“No...I would never do something like that.” I wasn’t even facing him, but I could hear the smile in his voice, which was my only indication that he was about to throw me into pool.
Before I could try to make any sort of escape, he tossed me into the water. It was cold, but less cold than I expected it to be. I coughed up a bit of water as I resurfaced and when I opened my eyes I squinted at Yunho, annoyed at how attractive he looked with the evil smirk on his face.
“You’re a jerk.” I said with no venom behind my words.
“Yeah, yeah. Brace yourself I’m coming in.”
I barely had time to move before he jumped in, his legs tucked to his chest. “Cannonball!”
I moved my hands in front of my face to block the wave of water coming my way, not feeling any surprise about my boyfriend’s childish behavior. When he resurfaced he faced me with a smile, wading towards me, embracing me in his arms, and wrapping my legs around his waist. He was so tall that he could reach the bottom of the pool without having to swim, unlike me, where I was no near reaching the bottom and needed to swim in place. With a satisfied hum he pressed several wet kisses to my neck.
“I love you,” he mumbled, his voice muffled by my skin.
“I love you too, babe.” I hesitated before I said my next words, still overwhelmed at how strong my feelings were for him, “You’re the love of my life.”
He pulled back with a bright smile on his face, his eyes shining almost as if he was tearing up, “I knew you were the love of my life the moment I saw you. And you’re all mine.” Yunho said before he placed a delicate kiss to my lips.
“All yours, babe.”
His long fingers danced along my sides, grabbing at my hips as he began to attack my chest with kisses. I giggled as the feeling of his stubble tickled my skin.
“You know, you really ‘oughta shave before you get a full beard.”
“Why? Are you saying I wouldn’t look good with one?”
I cupped his face, “You’d look amazing with one, but I thought you didn’t like beards, babe?”
“Hate ‘em.” Yunho’s laugh echoed around us, “Really weird that men can grow them in the first place. But anyways...”
His hands made quick work of my bra, letting it sink to the bottom of the pool. I opened my mouth to scold him but before I could his mouth latched to my right nipple, sucking and nipping on it in a way that made my hands seek out his hair and tug harshly at his locks. Letting out a growl, Yunho placed one hand on the the pool wall for balance and the other on my back, drawing abstract shapes there.
Yunho moved to my other nipple, giving it the same treatment and smiling when he heard my moans. In a flash he removed his hand from my back and pressed me against the pool wall, his hand now traveling to my panties.
As he removed the final item of clothing he ran a finger over my clit, giggling to himself. I gave him a look and he clarified, “Babe, you’re wet enough to fill an entire swimming pool.”
I groaned, pressing my head into his chest, “You make that same god awful joke every time we come here.”
“And as such I couldn’t let tradition die.”
“Shut up and fuck me.” I laughed, promptly helping him out of his boxers.
He continued to tease me after, switching between playing with my clit and stretching me out with his long fingers. By the time he finally gave in, I was a whimpering, pathetic mess, begging for more.
As he aligned with my walls he looked at me with delicate eyes, “Ready, little flower?”
I nodded quickly, chanting ‘yes’ over and over. Yunho once again placed a hand on the wall and hooked one of my legs over his waist, allowing him to thrust deeper inside me. He held my hand with his free one, a simple action that always melted my heart. Despite how long we’d been together, I would always get overwhelmed by him so easily. Everything about him exuded such a strong aura that sometimes just the smallest kiss would leave me breathless. The first time we were intimate he took his hand in mine and assured me he would be gentle, and every time since he’s held my hand. It wouldn’t feel right without our hands together.
“Shit—it’s been way too long since we’ve done this.” I said as he snapped his hips into mine, quickly repeating the action.
“God I know.” He let out a pained groan at the thought of it, “Four months is gonna be fucking awful without you.”
“Guess we’ll have to make do with what we’ve got now.”
“Guess we will.”
The sounds of water splashing and the echos of our moans, a symphony I had become so familiar with, was gradually reaching its crescendo. It was getting harder to keep my eyes open but I forced them to be, needed to memorize everything about this moment. The sweat dripping down Yunho’s forehead, the tattooed muscles he was flexing, the sounds and praise he was emitting, and pleasure we were both feeling--I wouldn’t see nor feel this for the next four months.
A particular snap of his hips had me seeing stars and I called out to him, letting him know I was close. Within minutes, both of us were panting and reeling from our highs. Yunho pressed his nose against mine and both of us closed our eyes, enjoying each other’s presence.
“How come every time we come here it ends in sex?” I giggled.
He blinked and moved a strand of wet hair out of my face, “Because you’re hot and barely wearing any clothes and no one’s around.”
I blushed at his compliment, “I mean like I’m not complaining or anything.”
A cocky smile formed on Yunho’s face, “Well it certainly didn’t sound like you were a moment ago.”
“Yunho!”
The man laughed, lifting me up and spinning me around in the pool before cradling me in his arms.
“I hate to say it, but we do need to head back. The world awaits for us, I’m afraid.”
I sighed, pressing into his chest, “I’m gonna miss you.”
He stilled as he pulled me closer, “I’m gonna miss you, too. You don’t have to miss me yet, though.”
“I know.” I swallowed, wishing I had something more to say.
“Come on, then.” Yunho gave me a quick kiss, “Let’s head back.”
-
Yunho held the front door open for me, giving me a gentle slap on my ass when I walked through. I turned around and gave him a playfully annoyed look, which he only laughed at.
As we walked towards the living room, the sound of a random sitcom filled our ears. Six heads turned our way after hearing our footsteps. Seonghwa was resting his head against his long-time girlfriend. She was a sweet girl and complimented him more than any woman I’d seen him with. They really were soulmates, if they ever existed.
San was sitting holding hands with a man he’d been interested in for awhile. I’d often see him flirting with various men and women, but he never went any further than that, too afraid of commitment. This man; however, seemed to breaking through San’s walls. I really hoped they would work out, San deserved someone as kind as him.
Wooyoung sat across from the them, who acknowledged us first.
“Hey guys. Have fun?” Wooyoung asked, smiling at my soaked hair. He had his arm around a woman I’d never seen before and I was certain that none of us would ever see her again. He had the reputation of a playboy, and every poor woman thought they’d be the one exception, the one to make him stay. I’m sure the allure of being a drummer in a band was part of his appeal, too. Maybe one day, like San, he’d settle down.
The woman became visibly upset when Wooyoung looked me with a teasing glance. Feeling sympathy for her, I decided to do my best to calm her nerves.
I spoke for us, linking hands with my boyfriend. “Yeah, we did. I think we’re gonna go clean up though.” I looked at the woman, “I’m y/n, by the way. I’m Yunho’s girlfriend.”
She didn’t even try to hide the relief on her face. “Oh! I’m Solar. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Yeah,” Wooyoung started, “Best girlfriend he’s ever had. Much better for him than Lucy.”
Yunho glared at the man, “Thought we agreed not to bring her up?”
Lucy, the woman Yunho dated before me, was arguably the scariest person I’d ever heard about. They dated for roughly three months before she became obsessive, to the point where Yunho had to get a restraining order against her. She threatened to hurt all of Yunho’s friends and family, all because she wanted Yunho all to herself. That was about all Yunho ever told me about her. Not that I complained. I didn’t exactly want to discuss his exes, even more so when they were that crazy.
I never told him, but I knew I saw her the first date we went on. I could see the way her piercing, ice eyes saw through me. I had no doubt it was her. I just hope I’d never see her again. Maybe now that she saw he was taken she’d leave us alone. There was an uncomfortable silence following, none of us knowing what to say until San spoke.
“You look like a wet dog, Yunho.” San joked, prompting laughter from a few of us, which seemed like more of a noise of relief rather than one of actual humor.
“Yeah, yeah.” My boyfriend relaxed his shoulders, “I think we’re gonna head in for the night so don’t make too much noise.” Waving them goodbye he caught up with me, placing a hand around my waist.
“Shower with me, doll.”
I placed a hand on his chest, “I would love to.”
-
I came out of the shower wearing my favorite large shirt of Yunho’s, drying my wet hair with a towel. The smell of chlorine had gone away for the most part; whatever chemicals the owner put in that pool always made the smell harder to get rid of. Only a small price to pay, I figured.
My boyfriend, who was much quicker than I was, looked up from his phone as he was splayed out across his bed. His tired eyes smiled at me while motioning me over. Yunho’s own hair was still drying and with his bare face and crooked smile, he was as handsome as he could ever be.
“Hey there.”
“Hey, sweetheart.” He reached an arm out to me, pulling me against him when I took his hand, “How ya feeling?”
“Tired.” I hummed, sleepily smiling against his neck.
“Too tired to listen to the song I wrote for you?”
“No! Not at all.”
Yunho chuckled, slowly brushing my hair aside and turning his head to look at me. As he had countless times, he took a breath before he turned to me, beginning to sing.
“You give me fireworks
I’ll give you the kindest words, my dear
Your love caught me
The moment I met your eyes
And how could I not fall?
Your heart bared, no disguise”
I fought to stay awake although his melodic voice seemed to be lulling me to sleep. I felt myself losing consciousness, but managed to catch the last few lyrics he sang to me.
“Now I sunbathe in the daybreak
Half asleep, half awake
Writing this song
As I hope I’ll dream of you”
Yunho brushed his fingertips brush against my face before he spoke, “Goodnight, flower.”
I muttered some form of a “goodnight” before I felt sleep take over me, nuzzling happily against my boyfriend.
-
I woke up in a panic, unsure why my heart was beating so fast until I looked at the clock. Eleven in the morning. I was an hour later than I should’ve been at my job. It seemed that even unconscious my body knew I was late.
“Oh shit I’m gonna be late for work!” I spoke with wide eyes.
Jumping from Yunho’s bed I stripped myself of his shirt and quickly threw my clothes on. The body that laid beside me stirred, moving the covers aside.
“Are you leaving?” He asked sleepily, his face puffy from sleep and an adorable pout on his lips.
I frowned, “Yeah. I’m sorry we didn’t get to spend more time together, babe.”
He shook his head, “Don’t worry about it. Both of us slept in.”
I tied my hair back, sighing. I was so caught up in my thoughts I almost missed Yunho’s question.
“Sorry what was that?”
He smiled, “You’re coming to our going away party tomorrow, right?”
“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I moved back to the bed and hugged him, feeling my heart sink. I was proud of him, I really was, yet couldn’t help but feel sad that I wouldn’t see him for so long.
This was the longest tour they’d ever gone on and we’d never been apart from each other that long before. I trusted him and I was confident in our relationship, but realistically, all members of Sidekick Heart were attractive young men and a good portion of their fans were female. I was far more concerned about the female audience doing something than I was about Yunho making a move on another woman.
With one last squeeze of his shoulders I pulled back, goodbyes beginning to fall from my lips before Yunho pulled me back.
“I need a goodbye kiss.”
I pressed my lips together with a smile, gladly indulging him. Giving him one last kiss against the lips, I bid him farewell until the following day.
-
“So how was work?” My roommate asked as I walked in the house, propping her feet up on our couch and tossing a kernel of corn into her mouth, the lighting of the TV illuminating her blanket-covered body.
I sighed, sitting down on the floor next to her, “Other than being an hour and a half late and missing an important meeting I think it went okay. I’m just glad the day’s over.” Rubbing a hand over my face I turned to her, “What about you? How was your day?”
“Pretty damn good actually.” She smiled, removing the blanket and showing me the new ink on her upper arm. It was an assortment of flowers and matched her bubbly personality perfectly. They were now the fifth adornment on her beautiful dark skin, each one of them tempting me more and more to get a few of my own.
“Another one already, Tiff?”
“Listen, you’ll know how addicting they get as soon as you get your first.”
“You sound so confident that I will.”
“Oh I know you will. You’re dating a rockstar, after all. Not to mention he’s the goddamn lead singer and has tattoos of his own.”
“Shut up.” I giggled, “Speaking of, are you coming to the farewell party tomorrow?”
“I plan on it, but I’ll probably be there a couple hours late. My dad’s flying into town for the weekend so I plan on visiting first. I’m definitely coming though.”
I hummed, “Yeah, don’t worry too much about it. We all know it’ll go till sunrise anyway.”
She let out a loud laugh, likely remembering the last party of theirs we went to where she ended up more drunk than I’d ever seen her. She claims she remembers flashes of the night; playing strip beer pong and being dared to steal one of the neighbor’s bushes—which, after much convincing from those who were sober, she decided against it—but didn’t recall half of the hilarious memories of her the rest of us did. Personally, my favorite was watching her hold a tomato soup can and cry over the fact that it could never have children.
Tiff let out a yawn as she stretched her arms above her head, turning in my direction. Her words were muffled by her yawn as she spoke, “Imma go to bed now. You good before I go?”
I smiled at her, “Yeah I’m good. I won’t stay up too much longer, just need to go through my nightly routine of looking at the stars, ya know, the usual.”
She nodded, wrapping the blanket around her and heading to her bedroom, “Sleep well, babe. I’ll see ya tomorrow.”
“Back at ya.”
It was a habit of mine, gazing at the night sky before sleeping. It gave me comfort knowing that out there, somewhere, there was something else out there with me. Almost like I wasn’t going through everything alone.
I set my purse down when I reached our kitchen, reaching for a tea pot and tea bags, brainlessly brewing my favorite tea as I thought of what Yunho might be doing right now. It was probably most likely that he was practicing for their tours, but I could only hope he was getting a little bit of rest.
I stepped out onto our porch to look at the stars with a cup of tea in my hands, the night sky twinkling with all the stars it could offer. A slight breeze rustled my hair and I closed my eyes, thankful for the pleasant weather. I heard a sudden snap of a branch and my eyes quickly opened as I searched out property for any sign of an aggressive animal. My eyes finally landed on a human-like figure. Feeling adrenaline run though me, I decided to confront whoever or whatever it was.
“Who are you? What are you doing here?” I spoke, my voice loud but not quite a yell.
The figure took off it’s hood to show their face, and I saw a familiar pair of ice blue eyes, though I hadn’t seen them in years, “I’m here to see you, of course.”
My brain quickly connected her to the woman I hoped I’d never see again.
Lucy.
“Well I don’t want to see you. Leave.”
She pressed a hand to her chest, feigning offense, “But I came all this way! Just to...say hello.”
I took a step towards her, hoping that if I appeared confrontational she would leave me alone. “I don’t know who you are, now please leave. I’m not going to say it again.”
“Oh, you poor girl. You really think you have the upper hand?” She pulled out a knife, and walked towards me at impressive speed, pointing the weapon at my throat. “I know you’ve been seeing Yunho. I. Don’t. Like. That.” She emphasized every word of the last sentence, anger woven within her voice.
I wanted to fight back. Everything in me was screaming to fight back, but I knew I had no chance. I had no idea what she was capable of, and I didn’t dare to find out.
“I dated him first and he’s still mine. You’re going to break up with him, you hear me?” She screamed in my ear, the sound shaking me to my core, “I never want to see you near him again.” She grabbed my jaw harshly, forcing my eyes to lock with hers. “I bet he doesn’t even love you.”
My eyes watered. I knew she was wrong, but with the adrenaline coursing through my veins and the harshness of her words I began to doubt myself.
Her grip tightened and I let out a yelp, “He loves me and I love him. He’s always loved me, not you. Why would he ever love a thing like you?”
She then threw me to the ground, towering over me, “Break up with him. Make him hate you. If you don’t,” She squatted down next to me, once more pointing the knife at my throat, “I’ll kill him myself and make you watch. Then,” She cocked her head, a crazed smile plastered on her face, “I’ll kill you. If I can’t have him, no one can.” She stood, smirking at me, “And you know I will.”
She kicked me in the stomach, watching as I crawled into myself, groaning from the pain. I closed my eyes, hoping she wouldn’t hurt me any more than she already had.
“I’ll be watching you at the party tomorrow. Do it then. Break his heart. I’ll kill him then and there if you don’t.” She looked down at me and scoffed, “And I’ll be bringing friends to make sure the job gets done.”
I carefully opened my eyes to see her stepping over me, walking back into the darkness from which she came. I scrambled back into my house, hyperventilating from the interaction I just had.
I spent the night crying, not able to sleep even for a minute. I tried to think rationally, but there were just too many variables. How many ‘friends’ was she bringing? Would she really kill Yunho in front of everyone? Where would she be watching me from? Is she watching me now?
I could text or call Yunho to let him know, but where would we go from there? He’d want to meet me and she’d kill him instantly. Right?
“Maybe I could pull him aside at the party and warn him?” I murmured to myself, “No, she could probably see that. Maybe there’s people actually at the party who are looking out for us, too.” I covered my face with my hands and fell back into my pillows, weeping as I knew I had to break up with the love of my life.
-
Choosing to wear a yellow dress honestly couldn’t have been more ironic. Yellow was supposed to be a happy color. A color of hope and yearning, innocence and warm days full of laughter. It was the complete antithesis of how I felt and what I knew I had to do. Even worse, the weather was perfect. It was sunny, but not so much to make it unbearable outside. Everything about today made my insides twist.
I took a breath at the door of Yunho’s house, bracing myself for what I had to do. Knocking a few times I heard a commotion inside before the man I came to see opened the door. His smile had never been bigger.
“Baby!” He cheered, pulling me into a bear hug and ruffling my styled hair, “I’m so excited you’re here!”
He looks so ecstatic. And I have to break him.
The thought crushed me and brought tears to my eyes, but I couldn’t let him die. I knew she was serious, I didn’t doubt that for a moment. I grabbed Yunho’s arm, pulling him outside and away from everyone in the house.
I looked at the ground as I felt my lips begin to quiver, “I’m sorry. I just need to get this over with.”
Yunho bent down to meet my eyes, “Hey, hey. What’s going on sweetheart?” His voice was gentle, one of his hands coming to rub the tears from my face, “I’m here for you, whatever it is.”
I looked down, unable to look him in the eyes. I hated myself more than I’d ever hated anyone. “I don’t love you, Yunho.” My hands began to shake beyond my control, my own body knowing I was making a mistake.
“W-what?” Yunho’s voice cracked. A moment of silence passed before he let out a hollow laugh, “Baby, you don’t mean that-”
I looked up at him and immediately wished I hadn’t. Tears were welling in his eyes, his own hands beginning to shake.
“I said I don’t love you Yunho!” I said louder than I intended, “Not anymore. I don’t want to be with you. I’m sorry.”
He took a step back and I noticed his hands clenching, something he always did to keep himself from crying.
“If that’s what you want,” Tears fell from his eyes before he finished his sentence, “Then I’ll support your decision.” He looked to the side, not knowing what else to say.
I wanted nothing more than to throw myself in his arms and explain everything, tell him that I’ve never stopped loving him, not even for a second, but I couldn’t. Instead, I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand and looked at him one last time. He was so fucking handsome, so goddamn kind, and here I was doing this to him. Maybe he did deserve someone better.
“Good luck with your tour, Yunho. I know you’ll be fantastic.”
I turned and walked away from him quickly, leaving the house and ignoring the stare I could feel on me. I ran across the yard to my car, starting the engine and leaning my head against the steering wheel. I felt myself lose all oxygen in my body, the only option left to take large gasps of air. My vision was so clouded by tears I couldn’t even see anymore. I’d just lost myself along with my other half. I’d never felt as empty as I did in that moment.
Just then I heard a knocking on my window. I half-hardheartedly lifted my head and felt my heart lurch. Yunho was standing outside my car, eyes red and puffy, looking at me like I was the last person he’d ever see. I opened my car without thinking, my breathing still as uneven as before.
Yunho spoke, his voice coarse and distant, “I’m not asking you to change your mind, but I need you to know that I have always loved you and I always will. That will never change.”
I wiped the snot from my nose but didn’t bother to try and fix the mascara I knew was streaming down my face. I knew I had to look horrible, but he still held so much love for me that it was easy to see in his eyes. I fought myself to not reply, knowing that if I’d open my mouth all I’d say was ‘I love you’ over and over again.
“Is it too out of line to ask for a last hug?” He smiled sadly as more tears poured from his eyes.
I shook my head, running into his arms and embracing him. I felt like I made a mistake the moment I did because I could smell him. He was wearing the cologne I bought him for his birthday. His warm, sturdy chest...everything about him felt like home.
“Goodbye, Yunho.”
-
I arrived at home alone, tears still stinging my eyes. Tiff was nowhere to be found and I couldn’t decide if I was thankful or sad for the fact that she wasn’t there. I barely made it out to our porch before collapsing once again, finding it harder and harder to breathe. I didn’t know how long I was sitting there, it could’ve been one hour or three, but given the setting sun it looked like it was the latter. Once more I heard a noise outside our home, and once more the female figure appeared before me.
“You did good,” Lucy said, twirling her knife in her hands, “Dare I say I’m proud of you.”
“I don’t ever want to see you here again.” I cried, “I did what you want now get the fuck away from me.”
“My, my. You have quite the mouth on you, don’t you?” She tsked, “But you did as I asked, so I might as well comply. Don’t; however, think that you can go crawling back to Yunho and tell him about this. I’ll keep watching you and if you decide to do just that...I’ll follow through with my promise.”
I kept my eyes on the ground, convinced that if I looked up at her I’d attempt to rip the hair out of her head. No anger I had ever felt before could surmount to the rage I was feeling.
“Nonetheless, it was a pleasure doing business with you, miss.”
As soon as she came, she was gone. When I finally let myself look up, I could no longer see her, only darkness. Once again, I was alone.
-
Six months had passed since I broke up with Yunho and today officially made the third new date I’d went on. All of them were absolutely horrible. It wasn’t even that the guys were mean or rude or weren’t attractive, they just weren’t him.
Why am I even trying to move on?
I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes looked heavy, the bags under my eyes ever prominent. I couldn’t fool myself. I’d never be able to be with another man again. I forced myself to hold back tears and reached back to untie my hair, preparing to take a bath in hopes that it would take my mind off of things.
I began to run the warm water as I reached for several candles, lighting them and placing them around the room, trying to forget the entire day altogether. As I waited for the tub to fill I grabbed my phone, opening Instagram for no other reason than to have something to do. Although Yunho and I broke up, I still followed their band account, as well as their individual accounts. Seonghwa, San, and Wooyoung were still my friends, after all. Yunho was the only exception. Both of us unfollowed each other early on just because it was too painful. I didn’t hold it against him and hoped he didn’t hold it against me either.
Regardless, my eyes found the most recent post on Sidekick Heart’s account. All four members were shirtless, their hair dripping wet with goofy smiles plastered on their faces. They were standing by a pool, the same one Yunho and I would often break into. I noticed Yunho first, how could I not? His smile wasn’t as wide as the other’s, his eyes a bit colder, but he looked happy all the same. He looked good. Really, really good. He was always fit while we were dating, but he gained more muscle since I last saw him and it didn’t go unnoticed by their fans, either. I clicked the comment section against my better judgement, knowing what I was going to see before I even did so.
“Yunho looks like a fucking goddd”
“So Yunho’s still single right??”
“Yunhooo hmu I beg you”
“Jesus Christ Yunho break me please”
A surge of jealousy rushed through me. I hated when girls said those things when we were together, but now that we were apart it made it even worse. I had no right to be jealous, and that was the worst part.
The water reached my leg that was resting on the side of the tub and I scrambled to turn off the faucet. Doing my best to push the images from my mind I placed my phone aside and stripped from my clothes, settling in the water. I sighed as some water fell out of the side of the tub. It wasn’t a terrible thing to happen, but it seemed to just be another thing to go wrong.
My eyes wandered back to my phone, Instagram still open and the picture I was looking at earlier still on display. He was so fucking hot and seeing that he was standing next to that pool—our pool—made my brain short circuit. I couldn’t stop my thoughts from taking me back to the last night we broke in, the way we teased each other and how it inevitably led to sex. It seemed I had no control over my body as my dominant hand slipped between my legs.
But as much as I wanted it to be, it wasn’t the same. My fingers weren’t as long or slender as his and just nothing about our touches were the same, but the image of him just made my hormones rage. Every ounce of me craved him.
My fingers swirled around my clit, a bundle of pleasure shooting through me at the action. I closed my eyes, letting my body take over and repeat the motions and much as I fought not to, my brain kept replaying scenes of two of us again, and again, and again.
“Such a good girl, aren’t you?” Yunho spoke as I sunk down on his dick, barely finding the energy to lift myself up again even though the noises he made were like shots of espresso.
“Aww, is my baby getting tired?” He cooed, jerking his hips into mine.
“It’s not fair!” I whined, “I’m not good at this and you know it.”
“But we wouldn’t be a good couple if we didn’t encourage each other to work hard, right? Up you go, flower.”
I whimpered and pouted, but still obeyed him. Taking pity on me, Yunho grabbed my waist and lifted me, relaxing his grip as I moved downward. I made a noise that wasn’t understood by Yunho, but it didn’t go unnoticed.
“What was that?”
“Please. More. I need you so bad.” I begged.
Yunho laughed, “I really do have you wrapped around my finger, don’t I?”
I nodded before remembering that he’d probably prefer a verbal answer, “Yes. I’m w-wrapped around your finger.”
He let out a noise of satisfaction before flipping us over into a position so that he would have full control. I grabbed the bedsheets roughly, so much in my own world that I didn’t hear Yunho’s words.
“What was that?” I let out with a series of mewls.
“You’ve got me wrapped around your finger, too, you know? I don’t go an hour without thinking about you anymore. I can’t even have a single conversation without bringing you up. Anytime someone says your name my heart beats out of my damn chest. You’re the only woman for me.”
My legs shook as my high approached, barely able to breathe at it’s intensity. It took me a minute before I could even remember where I was. As I came to my senses, I felt tears biting at my eyes and this time I didn’t bother to hold them back. I watched as they streamed down my face and joined the now-cold water surrounding me. I brought my hands up to cover my eyes, glad Tiff wasn’t home to hear my wailing. She’d been good about staying with me since the breakup, but tonight she just wasn’t here. The hole in my heart felt even deeper now. I wondered if he found someone, if he was happy now. Hell, maybe it was his ex. The thought tore my heart out and ripped it in two. I wanted to be happy for him if it was true, but I just couldn’t be. I was still too selfish. I still wanted him to love only me.
-
 New friends, new beginnings or whatever.
That’s apparently what I thought when I began attending more clubs at college after the breakup, meeting new people and eventually finding a really solid friend group. All who happened to really like punk-rock music.
“You should really go with us,” Shang directed his words at me, “There’s a new band popping up that’s playing this weekend. It’s three hours away but they have great music.” 
I sighed, not fully convinced although it did sound fun. The last concert I’d been to was one of Yunho’s and though I hadn’t even seen him in what felt like forever, I still couldn’t help myself from thinking of him anytime someone talked about concerts. Sensing my apprehension, the woman beside me spoke up.
“Road trip! Road trip! Road trip!” Tyra chanted in my ear, her black curls bouncing with her as she clapped her hands between the words. “Come on, it would be so much fun and you know it.”
I bit my lip, deep in thought. I knew I would have fun but I just didn’t know if that would outweigh the pain I would feel.
“What’s the band name?” I asked, looking at Shang.
“Honestly?” He scratched the back of his head, “I was a little drunk when I told one of my friends I’d be there so I don’t even remember what they’re called.”
“How do you know they have great music, then?” I laughed, Tyra agreeing with me, apparently not knowing who was playing when she agreed either.
“I mean, my brother listens to their music and he’s got good music taste so they’ve gotta be good.”
I closed my eyes as I felt an oncoming headache, knowing they wouldn’t accept no as an answer. “Fuck it.” I stated, “I’ll go.”
The two cheered, Shang promising that I’d enjoy myself. I doubted it, truthfully, but really it was decided that I’d go the moment the pair brought the idea up to me.
-
Our trio waded through the giant crowd as the doors opened to let us into the venue. It was big, one of the larger concerts I’ve been to. Whoever we were seeing was successful, for sure. The volume at which everyone was speaking was essentially a yell, so I had to do just that to get my messages through.
“I still can’t believe we have no fucking idea who’s playing!” I yelled at Shang.
He laughed, “I got seats towards the front row, though! I didn’t even have to pay for them!”
“That’s not gonna matter if we don’t know any of the lyrics, you dipshit!” Tyra barked.
“Okay okay I should’ve asked, I get that now.”
As we found our way towards the seats, there was a big projector with the words ‘Sidekick Heart’ displayed across it. My heart dropped and I suddenly felt it become hard to breathe.
“You got us tickets to a Sidekick Heart concert?” Tyra beamed, “I love their music and I’m practically in love with San! His vocals are insane! Holy shit, Shang!”
“Ohhhh yeah I remember now.” He chuckled.
I seemed to fade into the background as the two of them discussed their love for the band and the members. All I could think about was seeing Yunho again.
Would he see me? How would he react if he does?...Does he hate me?
I only came back to reality when the audience began to cheer and I saw all the members step onto stage. Seonghwa cradled his electric guitar, in one arm, waving at the audience with the other. Wooyoung plopped down behind the drum set, smiling at the audience while twirling a drumstick. With his bass guitar, San, ever the king of expressions, gave his best smoulder to the audience and it seemed like the audience collectively screamed over him. Then came Yunho out to center stage, his electric guitar in his hands and a smirk on his face as if he knew everyone in the damn building wanted to fuck him. And he’d be right. The spotlights on each of them made them look like actual gods. If I didn’t know them personally I would have thought they were.
Yunho leaned into the mic, his gruff voice taking me by surprise, “Hello everyone! Great to see you all! If you haven’t been to one of our concerts before this is how it’s gonna work: You’re gonna dance, we’re gonna sing, we’re all gonna have a fucking great time tonight!”
The crowd erupted as the first song began to play. It was one of their more popular songs and for good reason. All over it was a really well put together song and I couldn’t help as I began to mouth along to the words. Song after song played, some I knew some I didn’t, and the entire time I couldn’t look away from the man singing. He radiated confidence and looked relaxed as if he’d been performing for decades. I knew he wasn’t as cool as he seemed, I’d given him so many pep talks before performances I couldn’t count them, but as an outsider you’d never know.
I wonder who talked him up this time?
“Alright everyone. This is the last song of the night and-”
The audience booed, everyone upset at the night coming to a close.
Yunho laughed. The sound was rich and beautiful. He was truly enjoying himself. This is what he was meant to do, with or without me. I closed my eyes, willing myself not to cry.
Yunho’s voice filled my ears. “I know, I know. I’d love to stay a bit longer, too. Here’s the thing though...” He paused and I opened my eyes only to see him looking back at me. His eyes automatically softened as they always did when he saw me, but as if he remembered how we ended his gaze hardened slightly, like he was trying to distance himself. It felt like we’d been looking at each other for hours before he opened his mouth to speak again, but I knew very well that my perception of time had been off for a while.
“Even if we only have this little time left, I’ve truly enjoyed the time we’ve spent together. The fact that it’s coming to an end soon is what makes it so special, I think.” Yunho broke eye contact with me, smiling slightly and glancing back out at the sea of people. “Seeing your smiling faces, your energetic cheers—all of it—is a reminder to me that we’re so lucky to be doing this as a job. Really...I love you all.”
The audience let out a chorus of ‘awws’ which was followed by several rather aggressive ‘I love you too’s.
The lead singer once more smiled, “Now, without further adieu, this is one of our newest songs and it’s called Brown Eyes, here it is.”
The music began to play, all instruments coming together to make a somber tune. Somehow they were always able to write music that perfectly encapsulated emotions or ideas. This one? Loss.
“Since you left you’re still so infused
In how I think and what I do
Can’t seem to get you to leave me alone
Your ghost stayed here and she watches my tears
That run down our picture frames”
Then he found me again in the crowd, no doubt able to see the tears staining my makeup, no doubt able to see how broken I was. And still, he sang.
“I’ve tried hard to fight it
Yet I keep givin’ in
There’s been no one but you
I’m trapped, confined
And your platinum smile still knocks me out
Every single time”
He kept eye contact with me, not once breaking his gaze. It was almost as if he wanted me to break first, as if he wanted me to look away before him. As if he was daring me to leave him again.
San stepped closer to his mic and took his eyes away from his bass guitar, Yunho’s voice being replaced by the purple-haired man. As his voice rang out I only could’ve hoped the next lyrics were about one of San ex’s, not me. Even if they weren’t, Yunho still looked at me.
“It’s not aimed at me 
Maybe it never was
But oh darling, you could’ve fooled me”
My eyes flickered down, unable to look at Yunho any longer. His gaze only broke my heart further and in turn I felt my eyes water. After a moment or two, I worked up the courage to look back at him. He was still looking at me like he never moved his eyes. I couldn’t seem to register the lyrics until Yunho began to sing again, his voice drawing me in as it always did.
“You've disappeared without a trace
Left an unsuspecting guise
Love, I need you to know
I’ve been losing far more than sleep
Over those deep chocolate eyes.”
As the song and the show ended and everyone in the crowd cheered, I felt a rush of emotions run through me. Thrilled that they’d become so successful, proud of them for putting on such an amazing show, and hurt because I could still see a sliver of sadness in Yunho’s eyes.
I hurt him.
Yunho then reluctantly said his goodbyes to the audience along with the rest of the members. His jaw tightened as he walked over to Wooyoung, whispering something in his ear before walking off stage. Feeling like I was set in a trance, I grabbed my Tyra’s arm and mumbled something about going to the bathroom before following him. I completely ignored her questions and concerns about where I was going, dead set on talking to him again even though I didn’t have a damn idea what I was going to say.
Somehow, through the giant maze of people, I was able to spot Yunho leaving through the backstage. Instinctively I ran towards him, still having no plan in mind. I only stopped when a purple-headed man appeared before me.
“Y/n!” He smiled, bringing me into a hug, “I missed you so much!” He pulled back from me, “We all did.”
Seonghwa and Wooyoung came from behind me, both wearing sad, kind smiles. They looked healthy and happy, which was all I could’ve asked for them.
“How’ve you been, girl?” Seonghwa cocked his head, genuinely curious.
I hesitated, not sure if I should tell them the truth. But at the end of the day, they were still my friends. “Not...great. If I’m being honest. I was kinda hoping I could talk to Yunho...if I could.”
They all shared a look I couldn’t understand.
Wooyoung spoke up, “We’re having a party at a friend’s house after this, you should come.”
I was surprised, still not fully understanding the situation.
San frowned, “I think it would be good for you two to talk. He didn’t tell us too much about what happened, but I’m sure you had a good reason. You were always so good to all of us.”
“I can text you the address if you’d like,” Wooyoung added, “You still have the same number?”
I nodded.
“Okay, good. We need to get back but we’ll see you there. Take care, okay?”
“I will. Thanks guys.”
San pulled me in for another hug, “Of course.”
They waved as we parted ways and for the first time that night, I felt hopeful. I spotted Shang and Tyra and ran up to them, no doubt a smile on my face as I asked, “Soo...you guys up for a party?”
-
I ditched my friends the moment we arrived, barely even sparing a word with Seonghwa, San, and Wooyoung once they nudged me in the direction of Yunho. I didn’t try to think too much about it, knowing I’d explain it all to them later.
He was standing in an empty bedroom, looking at the floor and sipping out of a red cup which likely contained liquor. When his eyes met mine a rush of memories flooded back to me. The first time we kissed, the first time he confessed he loved me, the first time he saw me cry.
The first time I broke his heart.
His eyes raised to mine, his face stoic, “Enjoy the show?”
My mouth opened and closed, not having any clue what to say to him, “Yunho I-”
“I know why you did it.” He said suddenly, “A week after you left me Lucy showed up to one of our shows and tried to convince me it was all a coincidence. Said that I could finally be with her. When I didn’t buy it she finally gave in and told me she convinced you we were better apart. So naturally I called the cops and they arrested her for breaking the restraining order, thank god.” He shook his head, looking disgusted, “You know I never wanted us to be apart. My question to you,” he took a step further towards me, “is why did you do it? Why did you end us?”
When I couldn’t seem to respond he talked once more, “You could’ve told me what she was trying to do. We could’ve worked it out together.” He looked more disappointed and heartbroken rather than angry.
He doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve any of this.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Yunho.” I bit my tongue as I fought back tears, “I’m not asking for you to forgive me. I-I’m just-” I sobbed, “Lucy told me she would kill you if I kept dating you.”
Yunho’s mouth shut and eyes widened, clearly missing that bit of information. I took it as my cue to continue “I don’t know why she did it, but it’s probably because we were happy.”
More tears fell down my face and it became harder for me to talk, but I owed him the truth. I had to tell him the truth. I looked up at him but because of my tears my vision was blurred. Yunho’s hands were tightening into fists as he looked away from me.
“I couldn’t tell you because I had to protect you so I had to make you hate me and I’m just so sorry.” I fell to the ground, my body feeling as heavy as my heart.
I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and I brought my eyes to meet his own, “I’m sorry.” A tear streamed down his cheek, heavy remorse in his eyes, “God she’s fucking awful.”
A laugh got caught in my throat, “Yeah she is.”
He set his cup down somewhere along the way a his hands cupped my face, finally whispering the words I’d only heard in dreams, “I still love you so fucking much. I never stopped loving you. I never even tried to stop because I know I couldn’t.”
I jumped into his arms and kissed him hard, unintentionally knocking him to the floor. He met my lips with just as much fire, groaning when I unconsciously bucked my hips into his, all my sexual frustration still pent up.
“I missed you so fucking much.” Yunho growled, obviously feeling needy too but deciding against it as he wrapped his arms around my waist, speaking in between kisses, “I missed your cute laugh. I missed your lips. I missed your fucking awful jokes. I missed the way you’d look at me whenever you told me you loved me. I missed your gorgeous body and your smile. I missed your moans and the way you arched your back when we’d have sex. I missed how alive you made me feel.” He pulled back to look at me, “My life had no purpose without you.”
I took a breath, tears once more falling, “Mine didn’t either.” It wasn’t anything profound or emotional, but it was the truth. It didn’t.
Gently picking me up, he placed me on the bed. His eyes were raw, as emotional as they could ever be. Taking my hands in his, he looked at me as if I would disappear at any minute.
“Stay with me. Come with us on the rest of the tour. If you can’t take a vacation we’ll hire you as an assistant. If you can’t do that we’ll make some other kind of accommodation. Just stay, please. Please be mine again.”
I looked at the man in front of me. The tough-looking, six-foot tall, tattooed, strong man that could probably scare the shit out of anyone. Yet here he was, bearing his heart to me and being as vulnerable as a person could be.
I smiled, feeling my heart swell. “I’ve only ever been yours.”
-
The morning was bright, lighting directly hitting my eyes. I cursed myself for not closing the blinds the night before and blinked off my sleep when I heard a familiar pleasant sound.
Jumping down from the bed I put on the new fluffy bathrobe my lover bought me. I followed Yunho’s voice out to my porch, realizing I was listening to a new song of his. The man was strumming a guitar, a beautiful melody falling from his lips. When he noticed me, he smiled and continued to sing.
“I’m in a vivid yellow mood
You’re my muse, my home and room
And now that I have you again
What could I ever fear?
Oh do me a favor, dear
And inscribe your name on my sleeve
Let me keep it there forever
Because you’re better than any daydream.”
151 notes · View notes
bubbleteaimagines · 3 years
Text
Back To You
Oikawa Tooru Oneshot
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Summary: You’ve moved on. You found someone new so why, why do you keep coming back to him?
Paring: Oikawa Tooru x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Smut, Cheating! I do not condone actual cheating but this is fanfiction not real life, Unprotected Sex with mentions of breeding but remember to wrap it kids!
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You could feel his stare piercing you even from across the court. White hot, curious with a streak of jealousy.
Of course.
That’s to be expected when you show up to your old boyfriend’s match with your new boyfriend. You tried to ignore his stare as you helped Ragnar – your boyfriend – stretch before the game.
“Babe? Can you pull the other now?” He asks you, smiling sweetly, and it makes you sick that you have to give it all your might to concentrate on him, not the brunette standing just on the other side of the court.
“Of course,” You mentally scold yourself for even letting him cross your mind, pushing down the feeling of your hammering heart and complying with Ragnar. “That hard enough baby?”
“I bet I could give it to you harder,” He smiled suddenly, and you feel yourself become flustered as you realize what he meant.
“Shut up!” You scold him lightly, giggling a little while shaking your head. “You’re such a perv, you know that?”
“Oh come on,” Ragnar whines, his bottom lip jutting out a little in a pout. “You promised that if I won this game then we’d...you know...”
“That was only if you won,” You reminded him, emphasizing only. “Which won’t happen if the star player gets put out for pulling a muscle. So focus.”
“Right, right,” Ragnar finally complied and you ignored the whispers as people slowly began to talk.
“Hey...isn’t that Oikawa’s ex girlfriend?” Someone whispered, causing you to tense up.
“Yeah, I wonder what she’s doing here.”
“Do you think she came to see him?”
“Nah, it looks like she moved on. With a player from the opposing team, no less!”
“Come on,” You gently tugged on Ragnar’s arm as your heart hammered in your chest. “Let’s go set you up, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Ragnar agreed and you tightly gripped his hand as he lead you deeper into his team’s territory. A few people that would be playing greeted you, but you hardly acknowledged them as you sat down on the bench and then heard him talking.
“Big crowd isn’t it?” Oikawa said nonchalantly, but you could hear something lingering in his voice.
“Yeah. Best not get too caught up in it,” You heard someone else respond. Iwaizumi, of course. He had been one of your closest friends when you and Oikawa were still dating, but after you broke up the two of you slowly drifted away.
You felt bad for cutting him off but you knew that he was Oikawa’s friend first and it’d be too awkward trying to share him.
You needed a clean break from Oikawa, so why, why were you straining so hard to hear him talk?
“Let’s go say hello to some of our opponents,” You then heard Oikawa suggest, causing you to freeze. Ragnar had long since walked away, so you were the only one that noticed the seemingly thunderous footsteps of the last two people you wanted to see.
You knew he was coming, you could feel his stare and desperately tried to move. You willed your body to pick itself up, but somehow you remained seated as suddenly his presence washed over you.
“Well, well,” You flinched at his voice, too close for comfort but still as beautiful and smooth as ever. You could tell he was smirking. “You guys seem pretty good from where we’re standing, I can tell this is gonna be a tough game.”
He was lying. You knew Oikawa and you knew that he’d wipe the floor with Ragnar’s team. This was Seijoh after all- they were the favorites for nationals.
“Uh, thanks?” Seeing as your boyfriend was team captain, he was the one that replied. You kept your eyes glued to him, and him only as you watched the interaction.
“No problem,” Oikawa smirked. “You know I’d even go so far to say I’m nervous,” He said, and you wanted to scream from how he was taunting your boyfriend. But you feared it’d be worse if you got involved.
“Well, we’re not called Tigers for no reason,” Ragnar chuckled. His gaze flashed to you and immediately you could see Oikawa scowling.
“Our playing styles seem to be a lot different,” Oikawa started, “So I wish you luck. But I think you’ll find that you and me- we’re not so different after all.”
For the first time since you had broken up with him, you and Oikawa made eye contact. He winked at you as your (E/C) eyes went wide, your mouth going dry. “Isn’t that right, Y/N?”
The way he purred your name should have been illegal. And you kicked yourself as your heart began to flutter, butterflies forming in your stomach.
Dammit! You tore your eyes away and looked anywhere but him.
God, you fucking hated him.
How did he manage to have this effect on you, months after you had seen each other? How he did still make you nervous? How did he still make your thighs clench together by saying your name just right, just like he used to do while he had you underneath him and whimpering from his touch?
You sucked in a breath and shook away the tears that threatened to surface. You felt so disgusting, sitting there with your body gravitating towards him and that bastard knew it.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ragnar frowned, suddenly becoming defensive as he noticed Oikawa looking straight at you. The brunette chuckled.
“Oh nothing,” He sighed like he hadn’t just called out his girlfriend directly. “Well, we better get going. The game should be starting soon. See you around.”
You averted your gaze as you fixated on Oikawa’s and Iwaizumi’s shoes. Their presence was so off-putting that you flinched again when Oikawa called out your name.
“Oh, and Y/N/N,” You hated the power he still had over you. Because as soon as he addressed you by that name, you looked up.
He smirked. “I’ll be seeing you soon,” He promised, something that he had been retreating over the many texts and DM’s he had sent you.
You gulped.
“Come on, leave her alone,” Iwaizumi gently tugged on Oikawa’s sleeve, dragging him away sending you a look of apology. You nodded in acceptance and then let out a breath when they were finally gone.
“Do you know him?” Ragnar immediately asked, watching Oikawa’s back with hard eyes.
You sighed. “Nope. I’ve never...I’ve never seen him in my life. I was just friends with the guy he was with.”
“Humph,” Ragnar hummed as soon as your phone pinged. Picking it up, you became frozen in shock at the message.
You looked beautiful today, my love. Too bad you were on his arm and not mine.
“Is everything alright?” Ragnar asked carefully, looking at your dejected face. “He didn’t spook you out or anything, did he?”
“N-No, It’s fine,” You stutter, quickly hiding your phone. “I’m fine. Don’t let it get to you- he’s probably just using me to get to you.”
If only he knew. It was much, much more than that.
Oikawa waited for Ragnar to leave and then he smirked when your gaze automatically flickered to his, like he knew it would. Winking, you almost lost it when his lips began to move and he mouthed ‘I love you,’ just when the whistle blew.
“YES!”
You grinned in happiness as your boyfriend and his teammates jumped around in victory, having beat Seijou by just a point.
You had to admit, you were on edge the entire game. Regretfully you had spent a good amount of time looking back and forth between your boyfriend and your ex, watching them battle it out.
Ragnar had been amazing out there but Oikawa...Oikawa had been absolutely phenomenal.
It was obvious he had improved in the time you were apart. His spike were still deadly and they were powerful enough to score 15 points. Halfway through the game, you had been sure Seijou would win the game.
But when it really mattered, little mistakes is what got them. So that’s why you were currently celebrating with your team, but didn’t really feel like a win.
Not for you.
“Y/N!” Ragnar snapped you out of your thoughts by pulling you into a sudden kiss, causing you to squeak. “We did it baby- I told you!”
“Yeah!” You were grateful he was too excited to hear your halfhearted reply, and too distracted to see your tight smile. “Congrats, baby. I knew you could do it.”
No you didn’t. Guilt pooled in your stomach as you remembered ranking Oikawa over your own boyfriend. You stomach twisted- how could you do that? How could you sit there that entire game waiting for Ragnar to fail if only you got to see Oikawa win?
You felt sick with yourself.
“Come on,” Ragnar gently tugged on your arm and smiled shyly. “Let’s all get back to the bus, yeah? I believe you have a promise to fufill,” He whispered that last part lowly, causing you to shiver and widen your eyes.
“Right,” You smiled tightly, pretending like your heart wasn’t about to pound out of your chest. “Let me just...let me check to see if we got everything. I’ll do a final sweep and meet you there.”
“Okay,” Ragnar grinned and leaned down to press a kiss on your cheek. Then, with all thirteen of his teammates he exited the building leaving you standing there, hollow.
“What are you doing?” You asked yourself, watching them walk away. “Why am I staying?”
It felt wrong to leave just now. It felt like you had something else to do. Someone else to see.
“Dammit,” You cursed as your feet began to go in the opposite direction, jogging lightly and prayed that they were still there.
It was just your luck that Seijou was on the opposite side of the building, and all of the buses were still there which meant there was a possibility he wouldn’t even be inside.
“Shit!”
You couldn’t believe you were being this stupid. Why were you running towards him, hoping to catch him before he left? Why did you care? Why had you never stopped caring?
“Y/N?” Iwaizumi’s surprised voice was difficult to hear over your heavy breathing, but you managed, raising your head to meet his eyes.
“Iwa-Chan,” You used his old nickname, setting yourself up straight. “I-”
“Why are you here?” He hadn’t meant it to sound rude, he was surprised that’s all. Hell, you were surprised yourself.
“I...” Why were you here?
Your eyes scanned the surroundings behind Iwaizumi. Fourteen players, but there were sixteen on the team. He followed your gaze, and his eyes softened when he noticed you looking.
“In the locker room,” He suddenly said, snapping your attention back to him.
You frowned. “W-What?”
“He’s in the locker room,” Iwaizumi repeated, knowing that’s who you were looking for. You felt your chest tighten.
“I-I wasn’t...”
“Bus leaves in 30 minutes. Don’t make him late, please,” Iwaizumi told you like it was nothing. You suddenly felt embarrassed. He had read you like an open book.
“T-Thank you,” You nodded in appreciation before turning in that direction. “Thank you, Iwaizumi. I-It was good to see you.”
He studied you for moment. It looked like he was about to say something, but then he just shook his head.
“You too, Y/N-Chan. Thank you for this,” Iwaizumi said. “He...he needs you right now.”
You felt like all the air disappeared from your lungs. Your heart pounded uncomfortably, while a tiny voice in your head told you ‘No. Don’t do this.’
“Okay,” You ignored the voice and got moving. Your feet walking in a direction you shouldn’t have been going. Your heart leading the way while your brain screamed profanities.
When you got to the locker room, you could already hear him pacing around. He was cursing, mumbling to himself about things you couldn’t hear until you got closer.
“O-Oikawa?” Your voice was hesitant, but you forced yourself to say something.
Immediately, his brown eyes snapped to you. Surprise- just like Iwaizumi- filled them, but no sooner than it appeared, it was gone.
“Y-Y/N-Chan?” He stuttered your name like he had never uttered it before. It made you even more nervous, but nevertheless your body pulled you in closer. “W-What are you doing here?”
“I-I came to see you,” You forced out, tearing your eyes away. It was too much. His gaze was too intense.
Oikawa scoffed. “After that? Shouldn’t you be with your boyfriend, celebrating?”
You didn’t like the way he said ‘your boyfriend.’ It felt wrong, coming from his lips. Like words that shouldn’t exist. You gulped.
“He’s on the bus,” You explained, still keeping your head down. “He...They’re waiting for me.”
“And what-” You could see his shoes getting closer, “Don’t tell me you came back for me,” He said in disbelief.
You sighed. “I wanted to see if you were okay,” You finally got the courage to look up and meet his eyes, and when you did you nearly melted.
Nothing had changed. He could still captivate you with one look- that damn look he was giving you now.
“Oh,” He sounded genuinely confused.
“Y-Yeah,” You stuttered slightly. “It’s just...I know how much you hate losing,” You mumbled quietly, embarrassed. “Especially if it’s to...”
“If it’s to him?” Oikawa finished, and you nodded, too embarrassed to say anything. “Well, you wouldn’t be wrong.”
You guys were so close now that you could begin to feel his body heat. Oikawa was always so warm, it was one of the things you love about him.
Wait a minute. Love?
“Hey,” He was bold and reached over to take your hand, causing electricity to flow through both of you. “Look at me.”
Even though it was softly spoken, you knew that it was a command. And, unable to resist him, you did.
You looked deep into his eyes and you could see every ounce of love he had for you. You could see the lust, the longing, but also the pain that still lingered months after you had parted ways.
“Tell me something,” Oikawa spoke again, letting out a breath. “Do you still love me?”
The question caught you off guard. You weren’t expecting him to jump right in, to dive head first after only just seeing you again.
But for Tooru- you knew he needed to know. You knew that your words would determine would what happen next, if the tension between you two would boil over or if it would simmer to a stop.
“I never stopped,” You confessed honestly, clenching your fists. “Everyday- everyday I’m not with you is like hell for me. I keep thinking back to it, that day you left. And I-”
Tears began to well in your eyes at the memory. All the screaming, the crying and the petty insults you had thrown at one another all seemed so...irrelevant now. Oikawa was staring at you with pure love, love that had never stopped for you. And now...now you began to wonder why either of you ever walked away.
“I’m sorry,” His fingers brushed the side of your face and you relished in his touch, immediately melting into him. “I’m sorry for everything- for what I said to you. For walking away...” Oikawa trailed off for a moment and then he resumed, his eyes squeezing shut. “...For letting someone else take you before I had the chance...before I could...”
“Hey,” Now it was his turn to melt into your touch. Oikawa leaned into you as you cupped his cheek, sighing almost painfully. He had waited too long to feel your touch again. “It’s okay. We both said a lot of things that day. I’m sorry too.”
“I still love you, you know,” Oikawa blurted out. He sounded embarrassed, but little did he know how much they effected you.
It was wrong, you knew that. To be holding your ex, comforting him while your boyfriend was waiting on you. It was wrong but...god it felt so right.
“I know,” You murmured quietly, pressing yourself into him. You could feel the hard outline of his muscles, a feeling that was familiar to you. Your body immediately flushed, subconsciously yearning for more.
“I broke your heart into two,” He said regretfully, his face contorting into pain.
“I know,” But still, you pressed your forehead to his. “But when it healed...it was still beating for you,” You confessed, Oikawa’s arm gently wrapping around your waist to pull you close.
“Y/N?”
“Hmm?”
“I love you,” He said breathlessly, and then before you could react his lips were on yours.
It was like...taking a deep breath after being underwater for so long. So refreshing, so vital to keep living that you had no choice but to surrender to it.
You were quick to lean into him, kissing back with as much passion and feriocity as you could. In that short amount of time, somehow your hands found his hair and Oikawa’s fingers began to find their way up your shirt.
“Can I...” He pulled away to tug on your shirt, looking at with you with absolute need.
“Yes,” You couldn’t get the word out fast enough, excitement running through your veins as Oikawa all but ripped it off. “God, yes.”
“So beautiful,” He muttered slightly, smiling when he saw you were wearing his favorite bra. “It’s like you were expecting this,” He said, but you only responded by leaning to kiss him again.
You couldn’t get enough, it had been so long, too long since his mouth had been on yours. Your body had been craving him for such a long time and now that you had him, you were eager to be as close as you could.
“Your turn,” You told him, pulling away to now tug on his shirt. “Off.”
“Yes ma’am,” Oikawa smirked at your request and immediately took it off, throwing it in some random corner. “Is this good?”
“Perfect,” You murmured lovingly, running your hands over his beautiful body.
Oikawa shivered underneath your touch, anticipation racing through his as you traced his abs.
“It’s been too long,” He said, you nodding in agreement. “It’s not enough, I need to-”
“I know,” You already knew what he wanted and you were eager to comply, stepping away to wiggle out of your jeans. Then, you snapped the bralette off which left you standing in only your cute pale panties.
“Mine,” Your back was against the lockers before you could even blink, a possessive glint in Oikawa’s eyes as he eyed your almost naked body.
“It’s always been yours,” You reminded him, before pulling him down in another kiss. This was one was messier, your desire for one another evident as your tongues danced with each other. Oikawa was pressing so hard against you that you could feel his hard on through his shorts, smirking when he moaned as you grinded against him.
“I need those off,” You ordered, your core beginning to trob at the anticipation. Oikawa was the same, wanting nothing more than to finally be inside of you again. He pulled down his shorts like it was nothing, and then he yanked at your panties, feeling them to be soaked.
“Someone’s excited,” He chuckled, and you moaned as he stoked over your clothed pussy.
“Off,” You whimpered, not being able to stand it anymore. It was unbearable- he was right there, so why wasn’t he buried inside of you?
“Yes ma’am,” Once again, he gave you what you wanted and then shed his boxers, his erection springing free. Your mouth watered at the sight of his pretty cock, standing all hard because of you.
“I’ve missed this,” You admitted as Oikawa pulled your panties down. “I need-”
“I got you,” He promised, finally sliding off the material and then pressing you against the lockers once more. He bent down to hook his arms underneath your thighs, automatically bringing your pussy to hover right over his tip.
He was beyond eager, something you’d never seen in Oikawa before. Usually, he could tease you for hours but this time was different.
“Do you want me to...you want me to prep you first?” He offered like a true gentleman, but you could tell it was killing him to not be inside of you already.
“N-No,” You declined as his cock rubbed over your wet folds. “Not today- next time-”
“Next time,” Oikawa promised, before capturing you into a kiss and slowly sinking himself in.
The stretch was beautiful, you couldn’t help but whimper as your pussy finally became full after months. And from Oikawa no less, it felt like a perfect fit as he gripped you tightly and buried himself to the hilt.
“Fuck,” His eyes nearly rolled to the back of his head at the sensation, your pussy sucking him in. There was something so gratifying, so beautiful about being inside of you again and being able to feel all of you.
It didn’t matter if you were still taking birth control or not. Oikawa was determined to cum inside of you, he was determined to fill you to the brink.
“Move,” You whimpered in his arms, the feeling of his cock pushing past your tight ring of muscles painful, but also reliving. This is what you wanted, you wanted this feeling of him. And you wanted him faster.
“O-Okay,” Oikawa gave you what you wanted and bucked his hips into you, moaning at how tight you felt. You always squeezed him just right, but it seemed like today your walls were determined to milk him dry. Not that he minded of course, but he had to squeeze his eyes shut and focus so that he wouldn’t fill you up right then and there.
“T-Tooru...” Your broken moans only encouraged him to go faster, lockers behind you shaking as he pounded you good. Thank god he was strong- he had no trouble holding you up as he drilled into you over and over again.
“God you’re so fucking tight,” Oikawa moaned and nuzzled himself into your neck, sucking on your sweet spot.
You knew he was going to mark you up, stake his claim to any man that came near you. That included Ragnar but you no longer cared, the feeling of him abusing your cervix washing out anything else.
“Oh god,” You gasped, snapping your eyes open as Oikawa angled his hips to hit just the right spot. That spot that made you go absolutely wild, crying out his name like a prayer as you held on for dear life.
“Oikawa!”
“That’s right baby,” He pulled away from your neck and grunted, looking straight into your eyes as he abused it over and over again. “Let them know who you’ve always belonged to- let them know that I’m the first and only man that’s ever touched this little pussy!”
“I-” You threw your head back as stars began to cloud your vision, “Y-You’re the only one, baby. It’s always you. It’ll always be you,” You cried out, a tear slipping down your face from sheer pleasure.
“I know,” Oikawa kissed your cheeks and then you could feel his thrusts getting sloppy- he was close.
As both of your orgasms came close he made sure to take one hand from under your thighs and then used his fingers to rub your clit. Once again, you marveled this mans strength because he managed to hold you up with one hand while simultaneously pleasuring you at the same time.
“B-Baby...” You could feel the knot in your stomach about to unravel, and you held onto Oikawa as euphoria washed over you. “I-I’m gonna-”
“Let it go, sweetheart,” Oikawa moaned as his own movement stiffened, and then you feel his warm cum paint your walls.
With one last cry, you clenched around him and let it go, yelling out his name so loud there was no way somebody couldn’t hear you, and Oikawa secretly wished it was Ragnar.
A feeling of smugness mixed in with the pleasure as he emptyed himself inside of you, knowing that nobody else had ever had you like this before.
You were full of him, of his cum, and his cock was the only that’s ever had the pleasure to breed you.
He filled your womb like it was nothing and once you both came down, you were a shaking and crying mess against him.
“I love you, Oikawa Tooru,” You mumbled against his lips as he kissed you messily.
“I love you too, Y/N L/N,” He said honestly, giving one last trust before pulling out of you.
Oikawa let go of your legs but he was there to quickly hold your trembling body, your legs unstable. You looked up at him with eyes filled with pure love and admiration and god, Oikawa thinks you’ve never looked prettier with tear stains on your cheeks and with your pussy leaking with his cum.
“Does this mean-” Ever the bold one, he dared to ask, “Does this mean you’re coming home with me?”
“Y-Yes,” You stuttered out slightly, your chest tightening at the prospect of leaving Ragnar but not because you loved him, but because you felt guilty. “What am I gonna...what am I gonna say?” You wondered, but Oikawa already had that planned.
“Leave that to me,” He promised, bending down to pick up your phone. You watched him hesitantly as he unlocked it, smirking when he realized you didn’t even have his picture on your home screen.
“What are you doing?” You asked slightly panicked as he opened up Snapchat.
“This,” You gasped as Oikawa was suddenly inside of you again, your pussy struggling to take him after what just happened. You didn’t even have to think as you held onto his biceps tightly, Oikawa beginning to thrust again.
“Think twice before you take something that’s mine,” You heard him growl, and then he was sliding out, sending the video straight to Ragnar.
“Did you just-”
“He needed to know his place,” Oikawa said casually, scooping you into his arms again. “He may have beat me today, but he lost the most incredible girl he could have ever had.”
“Did you seriously just do that?” You were still floored, struggling to wrap your brain around it. I mean you knew Oikawa was petty but this-?
“Did you expect anything else, my dove?” He chuckled.
You sighed. “Honestly...no. No I didn’t,” You found yourself grinning at him just as your phone pinged, blowing up with texts and snaps from Ragnar.
“Well, I guess that’s our cue,” Oikawa laughed, opening a snap and sending back a selfie. “Come on- you can delete all of his stuff on the bus.”
“You’re...you’re unbelievable,” You told him with wide-eyes, your phone pinging again.
“I know,” Oikawa smiles, “But I have you back either way.”
538 notes · View notes
Text
All Men Have Limits - VII
Character: Dick Grayson x Reader x Bruce Wayne
Summary: A certain bat believes that Y/N is in way over her head, that she’s too naive to act in her best interest. So, whether she wants it or not, the vigilante family is going to help and protect her before she gets herself killed.
Word Count: 3,500+
Warning: Mention of domestic violence
Previously on…
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“The Court is holding session two weeks from now,” Y/N announced to the group.
“How do we know they’re going through with it after all the recent attention?” Damian challenged.
“They haven’t missed one in over over 20 years.”
“So, what’s the plan?” Dick asked.
Y/N took in a deep breath, “We need a diversion.”
“Diversion?” Jason asked.
She nodded. “The Court has two kinds of protection: the Talons and then the protection they either buy or blackmail. The Talons are at every meeting, making sure nothing goes down and protecting The Court.”
Y/N eyed all of them before continuing – except for Bruce. The two of them hadn’t spoken since their argument, and Y/N hadn’t so much as acknowledged him.
“We need to do something to drag the Talons away from The Court – something big,” Y/N clarified.
“Like what?” Tim asked.
She didn’t say anything. Instead she just awkwardly shifted her weight.
“No,” Dick shut down, being the first to put it together.
“It’s the only way,” she countered.
By now the rest of them had figured out that Y/N wished to put herself in danger once again.
“They almost killed you,” Dick started to get heated.
“Yeah, and they’re even more anxious to kill me after the trouble we caused them. We all know it. The quickest way to get the Talons out of hiding is to dangle me in right front of their faces. Make it so easy that they can’t say no.”
They all went quiet.
“It’s a good idea,” Jason broke the silence.
Jason wasn’t one to beat around the bush. He was brutally honest. Also, he wasn’t scared of a risk. 
Dick glared at him.
But to his surprise, so did Bruce.
“We don’t use our own as bait,” Bruce finally spoke for the first time.
But he wasn’t even looking in Y/N’s vicinity.
That didn’t stop Y/N from rolling her eyes at ‘our own,’ as if she were actually treated the same as everyone in this family.
“Fine,” she snapped. “So what’s your genius plan for getting the Talons away from The Court and where we want them?”
Bruce was quiet, but clearly because he was thinking.
“B, we only have two weeks to get this together,” Dick tried to reason.
Y/N just continued, “While we’re distracting the Talons, the FBI and Gotham PD can raid The Court’s meeting. Security will be at an all-time low and they won’t be able to fight their way out with the distraction of a Talon defense.”
“We can think of another way,” Bruce said. Then he addressed all boys, “We’re heading out for patrol in 15.”
Dick stood up to join them.
To everyone’s shock Y/N and Bruce simultaneously said, “You’re staying here.”
Dick’s brow furrowed. “I’m fine.”
“You’re still injured,” Y/N argued. “You’re stitches aren’t even out yet.”
“You’re staying here with Y/N,” Bruce added on.
Tim, Damian, and Jason all looked at each other in amusement from seeing Bruce and Y/N gain up on Dick.
Bruce muttered out radiuses at the other three boys for patrolling.
“Just to be clear, I’m going back to being a lone wolf when this Court of Owls bullshit is over with,” Jason announced. “But I have to admit, the drama is entertaining.”
“Aww! Come on, J! You know you love the quality family time,” Tim teased.
“I personally can’t wait for him to go away,” Damian mumbled.
“Do you know what a swirly is?” Jason asked the youngest boy.
“No.”
“Do you want to find out?”
Damian looked at Tim for some kind of hint. But Tim just aggressively shook his head in warning.
“Enough,” Bruce warned, but he wasn’t all that annoyed.
When they all left for patrol, Y/N walked to her computers.
“What are you doing?” Dick questioned.
She gave him a look, “Uhhh…doing my job?”
“You did your job,” he countered. “Give yourself a break.”
Y/N knew he was technically right. She already had everything they needed to show the FBI and Gotham PD in order to take down The Court of Owls. Now they just had to wait – even if Bruce wasn’t on board with Y/N’s plan on playing bait.
“Plus,” Dick smirked. “I need someone to entertain me.”
She playfully glared at him. “Oh, I see. So this isn’t about me needing a break. It’s about you needing attention.”
He had no shame. “Maybe.”
Y/N shook her head at his ridiculous, but couldn’t hide her smirk.
“How about I teach you some self defense?” Dick offered.
“Dick! What part of ‘you’re recovering’ is so hard for you to understand?”
He had the audacity to laugh at her reaction. “Fine. Fine. But you should learn a few things at some point.”
Then Dick started walking to the training area, specifically where all the gymnastics equipment was.
Y/N hadn’t seen anyone using it while she was down there, but she assumed it was mostly for Dick.
Without warning, Dick did a press handstand mount on the balance beam, and then he held the handstand.
“Dick! Stop!” Y/N said in a panic.
And she did exactly what he wanted, leaving her computer and walking down to where he was on the balance beam.
“What?” He shrugged as he now stood on the balance beam. “It’s just a handstand. Relax.”
“I swear to god, Dick Grayson, if you do a fucking flip on that thing…”
“You’ll what?” He challenged with a smirk. “Come up here and stop me.”
Y/N crossed her arms and glared at him. “Fine. I will.”
Dick was beaming from his success.
Y/N might not be a gymnast or a vigilante the same way as all of them, but she wasn’t completely hopeless when it came to athletics. She managed to lift herself up enough to sit on the balance beam.
However, standing up was an entirely different thing.
“Fuck,” Y/N muttered under her breath.
“You got it,” Dick encouraged.
But he was still walking across towards her as if the thing was a runway.
“Have these things always been this fucking narrow? I thought it was like width of bleacher seats.”
Dick chuckled as he offered her a hand.
“I got you. Come on,” he urged her softly.
Y/N slowly stood on the balance beam, but gripped Dick’s hands tightly.
“I have some newfound respect,” she laughed lightly as she looked down at their feet.
“Harder than it looks,” Dick agreed.
“Do you think you could’ve gone to the Olympics?” Y/N genuinely asked.
He shrugged, “Who knows. Probably not.”
But Y/N knew he was most likely being modest.  
Then Dick let go of her hands to grip her waist, “Try walking.”
“I feel like we’re in Dirty Dancing. You know, like the scene where they’re working on lifts and walking across the log in the woods.”
He smiled.
Y/N lost her balance a little bit and panicked.
But Dick’s grip on her waist was strong. “You’re OK. I got you.”
It was hard to focus on balancing and walking when his gentle voice said things like that to her, making her stomach drop and her heartbeat quicken.
And it all proved to be too much when Y/N really lost her balance and there was no stopping her from falling. She shoved into Dick too hard, making him lose his grip as well.
But as they fell, Dick quickly maneuvered their bodies so he took the fall and caged her body protectively.
Y/N instantly sat up in hysterics.
“Oh my god! Oh my god! Are you OK?” Y/N cried out as her eyes went down to where he still had stitches, half expecting blood to be on his t-shirt from the wound reopening.
But Dick was laughing his ass off.
“It’s not funny!” She slapped his chest.
“I’m not made of glass, Y/N.”
She couldn’t keep her own amusement in check much longer and started laughing along with him.
But then Dick’s phone lit up and vibrated beside them. It must’ve fallen out of his pocket when they fell.
Y/N didn’t mean to look. She really didn’t. But her eyes couldn’t stop from reading the name ‘Barbara Gordon’ on the screen.
Her smile dropped for some reason.
But Dick didn’t see the problem.
He casually reached over and looked at the message.
Y/N moved off of Dick. “Texting your ex?”
Dick narrowed his eyes at the framing of her question. “Do you know every woman I’ve ever dated?”
She smirked at that. “Maybe.”
“Yes, I am. She’s a friend.” He tilted his head. “Don’t you stay in touch with any of your exes?”
Y/N shrugged and shook her head. “I don’t really have any ex-boyfriends. Just…” she hesitated, “people I’ve hooked up with or whatever.”
Dick nodded slowly.
“Why hasn’t she been around?” Y/N changed the subject quickly.
“She’s been working her own case – had to go undercover for awhile.”
She nodded. But wasn’t looking at him as they talked now.
“You know…just because that’s what’s happened in the past doesn’t mean that it always has to be that way,” he told her quietly.
“Easy for you to say.”
Dick winced a bit. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Her gaze finally moved up from the floor to his. “You’re a serial monogamist. Being in relationships is easy for you.”
“That’s what you think of me?” Dick couldn’t hide the hurt in his voice. “You think I don’t know how to be alone?”
“I didn’t say that,” she quickly defended.
“But that’s what you were implying.”
Y/N got up from the mats and started to leave.
“No. Don’t do that,” Dick caught her arm.
“Do what?” She challenged as she pulled her arm away from him.
“Don’t make up problems that don’t exist, Y/N.”
She huffed at that.
“Yeah, I’ve been in serious relationships for most of my life. Not because I didn’t know how to be alone, but because I loved them.” He shook his head. “I know men have treated you like shit, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to do the same.”
“What are we even talking about, Dick?” She shot back.
How did they get from messing around on a balance beam to discussing their non-existent relationship?
“Don’t play dumb, Y/N. You’re one of the smartest people I know. Act like it.”
It wasn’t until now that Dick saw how Bruce and Y/N were similar. He’d never met anyone else that could push people away like they did. But it was clear they both thought it was easier and less complicated to isolate themselves. 
Maybe that’s why they gravitated toward each other. Like if the faced it together than they were cheating their way out of their own rules.
Except Dick couldn’t help but wonder what Y/N’s life could look like with someone who really loved her, who showed her that she didn’t have to face the world alone. Obviously he wanted to be that person for her. But his ego wasn’t too proud to allow someone else to do that for her. Even if it hurt like hell.
“Dick, I can’t–”
But he didn’t let her say another word, and his lips crashed against hers.
She tried to be stubborn and pull away, but he wasn’t letting her get away.
Dick deepened the kiss. This wasn’t like the night of the gala. It wasn’t innocent and soft. No, this was filled with fire and infatuation.
Dick wasn’t being polite anymore. His hands slipped under her t-shirt to grasp her waist, needing to feel her and refusing to allow fabric between his touch and her skin.
Maybe he was trying to prove something to Y/N now.
But just when Y/N was about to push it further, Dick pulled away.
Their lips were both swollen.
And he kept close to her, tempting her with another kiss – but not giving in.
“You don’t want to talk about it? Fine.” His voice was raspy.
Eventually he’d push her to talk about them. For now, he’d let her figure things out.
“But don’t convince yourself that I’m no one to you.”
———————
Y/N couldn’t sleep.
Her mind was restless.
She knew Dick had been right: she was trying to point out issues that didn’t exist, picking unnecessary fights.
Getting Dick frustrated was a great way to stop herself from actually reflecting on how she was starting to feel about him.
Instead of tossing and turning in bed, Y/N decided to go to the library. She hadn’t spent much time there – too busy practically living in cave. But it had intrigued her since she arrived. It was so beautiful, and even large enough to hide in.
She was a hour or so into a book she grabbed from the shelves when someone cleared their throat.
Y/N jumped in fright and looked up to see Bruce leaning against one of the book shelves.
His hair was wet and he was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. Clearly he’d just taken a shower.
“You’re back early,” she noted.
It wasn’t even 4AM yet.
“Quiet night. The boys had patrolling handled.”
She just nodded and went back to her book.
But Bruce’s presence made it impossible for her to even focus enough on the words to keep reading. So, she faked it.
“I owe you an apology.”
Her stare snapped up.
“I should not have spoken to you the way I did.”
Y/N was silent.
“It was unfair, and I was mistaken. I apologize.”
Y/N watched him for a moment before saying, “Apology accepted.”
She expected him to leave after that. He’d checked his little box. Now they could both move on.
“I was scared,” Bruce confessed. “That I was going to find you dead. And then I was scared Dick would lose it and…” His words died out.
“Well… you hid that very easily.”
“I have to.”
“I know. But you don’t realize how frustrating that can be for other people.”
Bruce sighed and frowned. “I understand.”
Y/N finally put her book down and got up from the love seat to slowly walk to where Bruce was standing.
“I shouldn’t have yelled at you,” she apologized softly. “And I’m sorry for scaring you. I was only doing what I thought was right.”
Bruce didn’t even realize what he doing until he pulled Y/N into his arms and felt her bury her face into his chest and hug him back. He tightened his hold around her, breathing in her hair.
Y/N was surprised by his hug, but she was grateful for it.
She closed her eyes and breathed him in. It was either his body wash or his cologne, but Bruce always smelled like musk and wood. Y/N was rarely close enough to smell it this well. But when she did, it instantly soothed her.
“Why are you up so late?” Bruce asked when they finally pulled away.
Y/N let out a long sigh, “Just couldn’t sleep.”
“Come on. I’ll make you some tea.”
“You do not know how to make tea,” she answered while trying not to laugh.
“I am not as hopeless in the kitchen as you’d imagine,” he told her with a smirk.
“I’ll believe it when I see it,” she replied, as she followed him downstairs.
True to his word, Bruce made Y/N lavender tea, making it just as Alfred had taught him as a child.
He gave her a smug smirk when he handed her one of the mugs and saw how surprised she was by him.
Y/N never expected he would linger. 
But an hour later, they were still sitting on the barstools at the island.
The conversation was slow, but light.
Now that Y/N had spent so much time with the family, she mostly talked about the boys with Bruce, asked him questions about each of them.
It was easier for him to talk about them than himself – or them. 
Little did Bruce know, Y/N was learning so much more about him from the way he talked about all of them.  
Bruce was subtle, but Y/N could tell how proud he was of all of them – even Jason, who he had a tumultuous relationship with. He loved them with all his heart, even though he was terrible at showing it.
“Damian’s the only one who still lives here. Tim has a penthouse in the city. And Dick is constantly jumping around place to place. But it’s been...nice having them around so much recently,” Bruce admitted with hesitation.
“And what about Jason?” She asked. “He never seems to stay here.”
Bruce hid his sadness and disappointment well, but Y/N could still see it.
“I’m lucky Jason even speaks to me,” he answered darkly. “He tends to like his space and prefers to…keep to himself.”
She nodded, not forcing the subject more.
But then her eyes got a glimpse of the clock. And she looked inside her now empty mug. How long ago did she finish it?
“I should probably attempt to get at least a couple hours of sleep,” she murmured as she got up from the stool. 
Bruce nodded, and did that thing where men stand up as soon as a woman does.
No matter how many times he did it, Y/N was always caught off guard by it.
“Thank you for the tea,” her voice was so quiet, but sincere. She smiled, “I’m sorry for ever doubting your skills.”
He grinned and watched her leave.
But when Y/N reached the edge of the kitchen she turned around. “If I asked you a question, would you answer truthfully? And I mean really answer.”
Bruce observed her for a few seconds. 
He knew she deserved his honesty.
They constantly answered each other’s questions with questions. It was like a dance – or a fight – which one probably just depended on the day.
He nodded.
“It’s okay if I am. Really, it is.” She took a short inhale. “But was I just another one of Bruce Wayne’s conquests?”
The desperation for honesty was so clear in her face and voice. If he said ‘yes,’ it would hurt her, but she would get over it. After all, that’s what she’d been assuming all this time.
Bruce did not have the words. Furthermore, he saw this for what it was: the two of them approaching dangerous territory.
But he owed her this.
Bruce didn’t break her stare as he carefully shook his head.
“Goodnight, Bruce.”
“Goodnight, Y/N.”
——————
LATER THAT NIGHT/EARLY MORNING…
Bruce knew Dick would be in the gym in the manor.
Everyone trained in the cave, so Dick knew no one would find him there. And he could workout in peace without being reprimanded about resting and being cautious about his injuries.
Dick had been sprinting on the treadmill when Bruce walked in.
When he spotted his entrance in the mirror, Dick stopped the machine.
He was dripping in sweat, proving that he’d been training hard – too hard for his condition.
Wonder where he learned that from…
“What’s up?” Dick asked as he wiped his face with a towel.  
“I had a feeling you weren’t resting,” Bruce said as he crossed his arms.
“I’m fine,” Dick shot back.
But he did a double take when he realized how deep in thought Bruce seemed to me. He was staring off, an extremely unusual thing for him. 
“Bruce?” Dick asked with concern. 
“Y/N’s parents abused her,” Bruce told him firmly all of the sudden. “Her father was an alcoholic – beat her and his wife. Her mother emotionally and mentally terrorized her. After running away countless times, Y/N was finally able to emancipate herself at 16.”
Dick’s entire body froze. “How do you know that?”
“She told me.” 
Bruce didn’t mean to sound smug. 
But Dick still took it that way. 
“For obvious reasons, she didn’t go into great detail. But I filled in the blanks with research – though she’s hid her past well, as you can imagine. She was homeless after that. Broke in where she could. Tried to stay off the streets. Even dressed like a boy for safety.”
Dick felt sick as he listened. Stories like this were all too familiar to their family. 
“One day, she saw someone coding on their computer at a coffee shop. She had always overachieved at computer science in school, and it intrigued her. As you and I both know, she caught on rather quickly.”  
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because she’s not going to,” Bruce replied as if it’s obvious.
Dick scowled, still not putting together the deeper meaning. They had never shared a conversation like this before. And it was confusing him.
Was Bruce trying to shove his past with Y/N in Dick’s face?
“I was the first person she ever shared her past with,” Bruce said slowly. “And it took me far too long to realize that I mishandled her trust. I did not deserve it.”
Dick could see the regret on Bruce’s face as he spoke.
But Dick finally understood what Bruce was actually trying to tell him: ‘If she does you the same honor, don’t you dare make the same mistake I did.’
“I understand,” was all Dick responded with.
Bruce gave a curt nod.
“Need I remind you that the cave has cameras?”
Bruce saw them kiss. But little did he know, it wasn’t their first.
Dick only quirked an eyebrow as if it say, ‘So? What of it?’
-----------
Part 8
Guys, I was 30 minutes early. You’re welcome. 
I want to point out that Y/N’s dark past was always part of the story. But I avoided actually including it because I am not a fan of fanfic writers often romanticizing abuse or mental health issues or other serious matters. I just want everyone to know that I take things like this seriously and I’m not just using them as a plot point. 
So here is a resource if you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence. 
419 notes · View notes
tpwkjerii · 3 years
Text
strawberry kisses
you and felix have a longstanding tradition of baking the day after finals. usually, it’s the best method of relaxing after long hours of studying. unfortunately, you find yourself rather tense this time — after all, it’s always fun to spend an entire day in a cramped kitchen with your crush, isn’t it?
pairing: lee felix x reader
warnings: fluff and kissing, mild angst, reader likes strawberries (sorry if you’re allergic skdlsd), ex boyfriend (but supportive bestie) minho, reader has low self confidence :(, like two curse words, kisses!!
genre: friends to lovers au, kinda idiots to lovers, mutual pining
word count: 2.9k+
a/n: short fic for Felix hehe
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Your eyes glazed over as you reviewed the last response of your final exam of the term. After two long hours of plugging equations you hardly understood into your nearly-dead calculator and speed-writing to the point where you’re sure you’ve bruised your dominant hand, you finally finished. At lightning speed, you gathered your exam papers and submitted them at the front with a quick prayer to the universe.
A few other students followed your rushed pace out of the large lecture hall, all of you eager to finally get out of the stuffy room.
As you stepped out of the packed hall and into the cooling outdoors, you checked your phone, which was filled with texts from the one person you were trying desperately to get out of your head (and miserably failing at that).
felix (strawberry head) <3
5:23 PM
did you finish your chem final ???
hyunjin and i just submitted our video for our dance performance
your editing was very good btw :D
5:35 PM
y/nnnnn you’re taking forever :(
we’re waiting at the quad for you !!
5:40 PM
*i am waiting at the quad for you
the others got too hungry and left, but i’m waiting for you!
pls hurry it’s cold :[
You bit back a laugh at his texts, his heartwarming tone filling you with a familiar fuzzy feeling. You pushed the feeling aside as you texted a reply.
y/n
5:43 PM
be there in 2 :D
You stifled a smile as you rushed towards the quad. Soon enough, you saw Felix and his bright, red-dyed hair (you first noted that it closely resembled a strawberry). The moment your eyes met his, you felt your heart skip a beat and heat spread across your face. This was the common reaction you’ve had for the past few months whenever you see Felix.
He rushed over to you with a giddy smile and his arms outstretched. Quickly, he barrelled into you and pulled you into a tight embrace.
“You took so long,” he whined, his chest vibrating as he spoke.
“I know, I know. ‘M sorry,” you responded, your voice slightly muffled by his shirt. You took a second to enjoy his hold and the comforting warmth that Felix always provided you whenever he was near. Over the past few years, you’ve grown accustomed to the scent of his sweet floral perfume, the feeling of his tight hugs, and the way he played with your fingers when he was bored.
All the things you were fond of were now extreme nuisances in your life. Not because they were annoying or because you disliked Felix, but rather the complete opposite; you were completely, helplessly, and foolishly in love with him.
“You ready to go?” Felix asked suddenly, breaking you out of your thoughts. He brought his arms down from around you, and you looked down at the ground as you nodded, hoping that he didn’t see the intense blush that was spreading from your face to your neck.
You are so fucked for tomorrow.
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After an entire night of tossing and turning in anxiety, the next day finally arrived. To say you were nervous was a massive understatement.
The minute you woke up, you began to anxiously clean your apartment while your roommate Ryujin laughed at you. As you wiped down every visible crevice, she made sure to pester you about a “missed spot” or tempt you with sweets.
“You’ve never cleaned this much whenever Felix came over before,” she pointed out with a laugh while you wiped down the kitchen counters for the fourth time.
“What do you mean?” you asked, your voice uncharacteristically high-pitched.
Ryujin scoffed. “It is so obvious that you like Felix, there’s no point in lying to me,” she stated bluntly.
Your hand froze mid-wipe on the counter. You looked over at your blue-haired roommate nervously. “Is it really… that obvious?”
“Yes,” she deadpanned.
You winced and dropped your head onto the smooth stone countertop. “Do you think he’s noticed?” you moaned into your arms.
“If he hasn’t, I will personally pay for his glasses prescription.”
You whined again as you lifted your head up to look directly at Ryujin. “If he’s noticed then why hasn’t he said anything?”
She stood up as she answered, “Not sure but you could always ask him today.”
Your mouth dropped in horror at the suggestion. “I can’t tell him how I feel! That would completely ruin our friendship!”
“So you’d rather continue tip-toeing around him and never get a clear answer?” she questioned, her arms crossed.
“Yes.”
Ryujin sighed and started to collect her things. “You can do whatever you want,” she started as she placed her papers in her backpack, “but I recommend you tell him soon.” She stood up and headed for the door. Just before opening it and leaving you alone with your thoughts until Felix arrived, she turned around and said, “I won’t be home until late, have fun.” With that, she winked and walked out of your shared apartment.
You scoffed at her suggestive tone and stood upright to check the time.
10:08 AM
You gasped. Felix said he was going to arrive at 10:30, but knowing him he would be at least 15 minutes early, meaning you only had 7 minutes to get yourself together!
You cursed and rushed to your bedroom. Switching out of your wrinkled pajamas, you opted for a random hoodie you grabbed out of your closet and jeans. After you changed, you made a beeline for the bathroom and fixed your appearance. You quickly brushed through your hair and washed your face, hoping you removed all remnants of your restless sleep.
Just as you predicted, you heard four distinctive knocks on your front door right at 10:15.
“Coming!” you exclaimed as you rushed out of your bathroom.
Right before you opened the front door, you placed a hand on your beating heart and mumbled words of encouragement to yourself. Then, after deciding that you were probably taking too long, you pulled the door open.
Immediately, Felix, covered in a large hoodie and arms filled with large bags of baking ingredients, greeted you with a large grin. Like every other time, you felt your heart skip a beat when you made eye contact with him.
“Hi,” you said simply, a smile on your face.
“Hi,” he responded. He looked you up and down, asking, “Are you wearing my hoodie?” 
You paled and looked down at the large pink hoodie, immediately recognizing it as the one that Felix lent you almost one year ago when he dropped you off at the airport since you forgot yours in the car. Once you got back from your trip, you’d forgotten to give it back to him.
“O-oh,” you stuttered, looking down at the oversized sleeves. “I didn’t even realize,” you continued awkwardly. “You can ha -”
“It’s fine,” he cut you off, the smile never leaving his face. He shrugged. “You look better in it anyways.”
Your mouth dropped and you found yourself unable to respond for a few moments. Felix laughed at your dumbfoundedness and gently pushed you aside to walk into the apartment. Once he set the bags down on the kitchen counters, you returned to your senses and closed the door to walk over to him.
“So, what are we making today?” you asked, trying to keep your voice as level as possible. It wasn’t an easy task to do, considering his proximity to you.
You held your breath as he grabbed your hands and looked into your eyes. “What’s your favorite fruit?” he asked excitedly.
“Er, strawberries?” you answered, tilting your head to the side in mild confusion.
At that, Felix let go of your hands and quickly pulled out a carton of fresh strawberries from one of the bags. You gasped in delight at the sight of the bright fruit and immediately thanked him.
“It’s no big deal,” he responded while sliding the fruits into the fridge. “I’m gonna eat most of the tarts and choco strawberries anyways,” he added with a sneaky laugh.
You scoffed. “You always say that but you always end up giving me the most.” You smirked at him while taking out the baking materials.
“I don’t give it to you,” he countered. “You steal them.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” you told him with a sing-song tone. He laughed from your side, and you swore that you heard actual sparkles, as if he were a fairy, when he did.
You cleared your throat, hoping to rid your mind of distracting thoughts that could be potential problems during the next seven hours that Felix would be at your apartment. “So, master chef Felix,” you started, lowering your voice like a TV show announcer. “What are you going to do first?”
“Well, my fair announcer,” he began, holding up the silicon whisk like a microphone. “I think we should start with preparing the shortbread dough, what about you?”
“Ah, you are the chef. Lead the way,” you responded with a wide smile.
You both laughed together and actually began the baking. Like usual, Felix did most of the work while you played music and assisted from the side. You worked together seamlessly, and soon enough the shortbread cookies were done and strawberry jam cooling to the side.
While you taste-tested the jam, Felix began to whisk the melted chocolate, and you took this time to admire him. You stood at his side, allowing you to admire his side profile.
Felix was easily one of the most beautiful individuals you ever laid your eyes on. But his appearance wasn’t the only part you fell for — he was one of the few people whose inside beauty matched their outside beauty.
Felix was kind, funny, optimistic, and just about every positive adjective you could find in a dictionary. After every failed test, he was there with a cup of strawberry ice cream and a shoulder to cry on. When you landed your first job, he was there to celebrate with you even when your own family wasn’t. And when you and Minho mutually broke up, he was there to give you advice as you coped with the end of your first relationship.
How could you not fall for him?
And sometimes you had the feeling that he liked you back. The touches that would linger for just a few seconds too long, the soft smiles that Chan claimed he only ever gave to you, and his late-night texts all spurned a tiny hopeful fire in you that kept your crush alive.
No matter how many times you tried to get over him and convince yourself that your crush didn’t exist, the tiny voice in your head still spoke. “But what if he likes you back?”
Now, as Felix stood by your side with a soft smile on his face while he whisked the chocolate, that voice screamed louder than ever.
And just as you gained a sliver of courage, the same paralyzing thoughts that have held you back for the past few months returned.
Felix was out of your league in every way. He was social and easily commanded the attention of an entire room with so much as two words. His outward beauty matched his insides, and everyone on campus reached a collective agreement that if angels ever existed and walked among us — Lee Felix was certainly one of them.
And those things were only the tip of the iceberg that is Felix. He was talented, sensitive, supportive, passionate, and everything you could ever ask for and then some.
You then thought back to all the people he rejected - kindly, of course - and how you matched up to them. If Felix didn’t choose to go out with all those beautiful and talented people, what on Earth made you think you would choose you?
At this point, Felix picked up on your sudden silence and how your breaths grew heavy and uneven.
“Are you… alright?” he asked carefully, his own chest beating heavily.
You stared at him, panicked that he caught onto your apprehension. “Um…” you started, trailing off as you met his gaze.
Felix let go of the whisk and grabbed your hands. “You can say whatever you need to.”
“I uh,” you started after a few moments, internally battling yourself to gain courage as you realized that it’s now or never. “I kinda like you,” you admitted quietly, looking down at your intertwined hands anxiously. You waited for him to pull his hand away in disgust and start to kindly reject you like he did to all those other people, but it never came. After a few seconds, his hands still the entire time, you looked up at him with glassy eyes in confusion.
“What?” he finally said, his deep voice softer than ever.
You looked back down at your hands shamefully. “Do I really have to repeat it?” you asked weakly. “I like you, Felix. I have for the past few months and it’s been driving me insane because it feels like my heart’s about to stop dead whenever I see you and I can never think straight when you’re with me. Apparently, it’s been pretty obvious and I really tried my best to get over it so it wouldn’t hurt our friendship.
“Trust me, I really wanted to get over it but I couldn’t, and I know you don’t like me back so it’s ok. I can deal with it on my own and you can just leave a -”
“Y/N,” Felix said suddenly, his voice firm. You looked up, tears rolling down your face as you were sure that he was about to reject you.
“Felix please don’t interrupt me. At least let me finish what I have to say,” you pleaded softly, removing your hands from his.
“Y/N,” he repeated, his voice much gentler. He carefully wiped the tears from your face and took your hands into his again. “Can I say something before you finish?” he requested.
You choked back a sob as you nodded, certain that he was just going to let you down kindly.
“I like you too, Y/N,” he said shyly, a blush spreading across his freckled face.
Your entire body froze.
“I was too scared to admit it because I didn’t think you liked me back,” he continued, the words slowly registering in your mind. “To be honest, I thought you still liked Minho.”
You blushed at his words, thinking back to all the times you would pull Minho, your ex-boyfriend, to the side to talk about Felix these past few months. You didn’t realize how it must have looked to Felix or your other friends.
“I was also… afraid of ruining our friendship, so I’ve just kept it to myself the past two years.”
You gaped at him. “Two years?” you sputtered, causing him to laugh at the way your eyes widened comically. “That’s when we first started uni!”
He shrugged. “What can I say? I was instantly attracted to the way you fought Chan on why you should be allowed to keep the minifridge in your dorm,” he joked.
You blushed at the embarrassing memory, although it wasn’t completely regrettable as it was how you met most of your current friends — including Felix.
“I’m surprised,” you voiced simply. “I didn’t think you would ever like me back.” You breathed out, your muscles relaxing instantly.
Felix grinned again and he moved slowly to envelop you in his arms. He rested his hands on the small of your back and his head on the crook of your shoulder.
“Does this mean that I can take you out on a date?” he whispered.
“Will you promise to stop taking unflattering pictures of me and sending them to me in the middle of the night?” you asked, your head resting against his and arms around him.
He sighed. “Fine,” he answered reluctantly with a whine.
“Then sure,” you responded and pulled your head back to meet his eyes. His eyes shined from the sunlight pouring through the windows and his freckles glimmered like stars across a canvas. Felix was truly beautiful inside and out.
“You have some strawberry jam on your lip,” he said after a few silent moments where you both admired each other.
“Really?” you asked. Your hand moved from his back towards your face, but Felix caught your hand in midair and returned it to its original position.
“I’ll get it,” he murmured with a gentle smile before closing the distance between your lips.
You held your breath as he pressed his soft lips against yours. You instantly recognized the strawberry chapstick he uses and the taste of the shortbread cookies. He swiped his tongue against the corner of your lip, and the sudden sensation caused a shiver to run down your spine.
You brought your hand up to his hair and gently tugged at his dyed locks. Felix brought you closer to him and massaged your back as he deepened the kiss.
When you finally pulled away, your face was burning red and you were completely breathless. Felix was smiling giddily, his arms still around yours.
“I think there’s still some jam left,” he told you, not even giving you a second to respond before he pressed his lips against yours once again. This kiss was much more playful than the last as you giggled against each other in the kiss.
“Did you get it all?” you asked him, your voice reduced to a murmur as he continued kissing your lips.
He hummed, kissing you once and twice in between, before responding, “I don’t think so.”
You laughed against his lips. “Well, I guess you better get it all. I can’t have strawberries stuck on my lips all day.”
He laughed with you, and true to his words, he eventually did get all the strawberry jam off (an extra two hours and an uncountable amount of kisses later).
361 notes · View notes
uwuwriting · 4 years
Text
Abusive boyfriend w/ Midoriya, Bakugou and Todoroki
Request: Can I have deku, bakugo and Todoroki reacting to the readers unhealthy boyfriend. He brings her down a lot and abusive. - anonymous
Being part of a toxic relationship is so so soooo painful. Thankfully reader-chan has her heroes to save her. Hope you like it. Love ya.💖💖💖
masterlist
rules
warnings: abuse both physical and mental, ptsd and panic attacks, cursing, characters are aged up (they have graduated)
Midoriya Izuku
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-Okay so he basically was the one who managed to build your confidence back up after the horrendous break up with your ex. 
-Your ex never laid a hand on you but his words were enough to bruise your ego and self worth so much that you believed that you were nothing compared to others. 
-From looks to personality, you believed that even a snail was more worth it than you. 
-Now you are a beautiful girl and very very smart. 
-Guys and girls looked your way even though you were in a relationship. 
-And your ex was having none of it. 
-It started off really subtly.
- “Are you sure you want to wear that to dinner?”
- “We are going to grab some coffee not going out for drinks.”
- “Don’t you think you are showing too much skin?”
-Then the body shaming started. 
- “I think you shouldn’t wear that, I mean look how large it makes you look.”
- “Have you been eating more?”
- “How about I make a diet for you?”
-This really brought you down. 
-It reached the point where you would only wear really baggy hoodies in order to hide your body. 
-After that turning point he still wasn’t satisfied. 
-People, although fewer than before, still had the nerve to hit on you and it was getting on his nerve. 
-He started belittling you in front of friends and acquaintances, destroying your already fragile confidence. 
-He had dug you a grave and sugarcoated the casket with empty I love you’s. 
-He had made you believe that he was the only one who would accept you and love you despite you’re so flawed. 
-And he managed to keep you for quite some time. 
-Then Midoriya comes along. 
-A childhood friend who had become a pro hero and on the top five. 
-He saw how skinny you had become, borderline unhealthy, how you shied away from him and literally everyone. 
-You were like a scared deer. 
-Then the boyfriend came in and everything fell into place. 
-Midoriya is smart, he caught on your boyfriend’s belittlement and the reason behind it. 
-Now getting you out of this toxic relationship is his new mission. 
-You ran into him more often after that first encounter and he always talked to you, complimenting you whenever he could. 
-Your boyfriend didn’t catch on until it was too late. 
-Midoriya had managed to get you to talk about your relationship and what your boyfriend was like, he had opened your eyes to his abuse and helped you built up the courage to stand up to him and dump his ass. 
-He was there of course to support you after the break up. 
-And of course after months and months of seeing each other almost everyday, you two became a thing. 
-Finally you get to experience true love with someone who truly appreciates you. 
Bakugou Katsuki 
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-You and Bakugou have been friends since high school. 
-Inseparable. 
-He comes to you for everything, all his troubles are solved by you and you alone. 
-You’re special!!
-So when you get a boyfriend he is the first to meet the guy. 
-In truth he really didn’t want to because he has been in lobe with you for the longest time and seeing you with someone else reminds him that he is a coward. 
-Anyway he meets him and everything is fine, he looks decent and he seems to treat you well. 
-As months pass you seem to distance yourself more and more from him. 
-Bakugou at first is angry, he is fuming I tell you. 
-He doesn’t like the silence that he receives when he calls, or the single word replies when he texts and he especially despises your refusal to go out with him like you used to. 
-He gets that you have a boyfriend now and you have to spend more time with your bf but he still felt betrayed. 
-Then doubt started to settle in his mind. 
-Maybe you realized he wasn’t worth the trouble, I mean he is a difficult person, maybe your new boyfriend opened your eyes and now you want nothing to do with him. 
-Or maybe you figured out he was in love with you. 
-Had he been scowling more than usual while he was meeting your boyfriend? 
-He wanted to ask you what he did wrong but he couldn’t reach you. 
-So he sucked it up and drowned himself in his hero work, drowning his nagging mind along with his free time.
-Then something unexpected happened. 
-Uraraka visited him, worry written all over her face. 
-She was worried for you and wanted to ask him if everything was alright, since he was your best friend. 
- “She stopped showing up to our weekly girl evening and she won’t answer my texts.... I’m really worried for her Bakugou.”
-That was the last straw for him. 
-He went to your apartment and after five minutes of knocking your boyfriend opened the door. 
-The scowls on the guy’s face was really REALLY pushing his buttons. 
- “Is Y/N here?”
- “What do you want her for?”
- “I want to talk to her.”
-This man..... he closed the door in Bakugou’s face. 
-Well closed is putting it mildly. 
-He slammed the door shut with so much force that a mirror down the hall rattled. 
-Bakugou was ready to blow the door open when he heard the shouts. 
- “Y/N why the fuck is that guy here?”
- “W-what guy?”
- “Don’t act all innocent you slut! The guy you are fucking!”
- “I-I don’t k-know who y-you are talking a-about.” 
-The moment he heard your sniffles echo through the door he was inside the apartment shoving the guy away from you. 
- “Don’t you fucking dare speak to her like that, asshole.” 
-You were trembling behind him and Bakugou could feel the sob threatening to escape your lips. 
-Looking over his shoulder at you he spoke gently as if you were a scared kitten. 
- “Y/N could you go get some of your stuff ready? I’m taking you away from this dickhead.”
- “Who do you think you are? That’s MY girlfriend she listens to me alone!”
- “Don’t speak as if she’s an object!”
-You had disappeared to your room to get your things and were now clinging to Bakugou’s back. 
- “So you are fucking him. What should I have expected from a whore like you!” 
-Okay now Bakugou was presented with two options. 
-Option A: beat the living shit out of this guy and most likely losing his hero license for a week. 
-Option B: get you out of here and let this asshole boil in his own defeat. 
-He went with option B. 
-Wordlessly he guided you out of your apartment complex and into his car, drove you to his house and proceeded to help you calm down. 
-You had had one panic attack in the past so he didn’t really know what to do. 
-But he managed. 
- “Whatever he said to you isn’t true. I don’t know what actually went down between you two and what he got into the pretty little head of your but none of that matters. Just know that we are all here for you. Me, the girls even stupid Deku. And we love you, I love you so don’t worry about anything. Everything will be alright.” 
-From that point on everything was history. 
-It didn’t take long for you two to start dating and Bakugou made sure to have a firm talk with your now ex boyfriend when you ran into him at the grocery store. 
-Get wrecked douchebag.
 Todoroki Shouto 
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-Toxic relationships is something Todoroki is a pro at this point. 
-He grew up in one so yeah. 
-He sees the signs of the abuse faster than anyone. 
-First of all, you inch away from anyone who starts flaying their arms. 
-Despite the warm weather you always wear long sleeves. 
-And he has seen you applying extra make up around your eye once. 
-He also notices how you always try to avoid annoying your boyfriend, like you take extreme measures. 
-You distance yourself from other males going as far as to avoid him to an extent. 
-Then he sees the bruises. 
-You two were training at the agency’s gym when your shirt rode up your torso and there was this huge bruise right under your  ribs. 
- “Y/N who did this?”
- “Oh I just got slightly injured during my last patrol.”
-He isn’t buying it since he was with you during your last patrol and you didn’t get injured. 
-But he lets it slide because he believes that you know whats best for you and you will get away from this guy. 
-But for some reason you stay with him. 
-For months. 
-And Todo can’t take it anymore.
- “Y/N can I talk to you?”
-He talks to you about what he has seen and that he knows that your boyfriend is doing this to you. 
- “So please, please leave him, get out while you can. Y/N I can’t see you hurt like this.”
-You see the thing was that you had made the stupid decision of moving in with him and now.... you had nowhere to go. 
-If you broke up with him you wouldn’t have a place to stay and you couldn’t start searching for a new place, he traces your phone and search history. 
- “You’ll live with me. I’ll give you everything you need just please please let go of him. He doesn’t deserve you. I hate seeing you so hurt and broken.” 
- “Please come with me then, Shouto I-I can’t do this alone.”
-Of course he came with you, standing in between you and that asshole as he went to strike you when you broke the news to him.
- “You are leaving me for this piece of shit huh? Of course you would you whore!”
-He went as far as activating his quirk, attacking Shouto in an attempt to get to you. 
- “I own you you fucking slut! No one will want you! You are mine!”
-Shouto wasn’t as calm as Bakugou in this situation, punching the guy before leaving the apartment, making sure that the guy got the message and wouldn’t try to come after you. 
-Back at his apartment, Shouto comforted you as best he could. 
-You know where this leads. 
-Shouto gives you the space you need before making a move. 
-My mans waits months before even remotely flirting with you. 
-After a year long wait he finally manages to ask you out. 
-And the rest is history.
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tact-and-impulse · 2 years
Text
A high school AU for the “sweet” prompt, @shepherds-of-haven!
getaway
“You’re Sadye, aren’t you?”
The voice is right next to her ear, and it takes all of her self-control not to elbow whoever it is in the gut. She absolutely can’t, she already promised her guardian she wouldn’t get expelled this year. This high school is her last chance.
Instead, she inhales deeply and looks behind her. Chase Trinaeste. Not that she knows him well, but he’s the notorious class prankster and is slated to star as the male lead in this play. She has a small role after volunteering to join; her free period would be grueling to sit through otherwise. She raises an eyebrow. “Playing her, yeah.”
“Great, can we talk?” He looks like he wants to find a spot away from the auditorium, and they stroll into the hallway, near the water fountain. He peers around, making sure no one else from the drama club is listening in. When he speaks, his mouth barely moves. “I’d like some practice with my lines. Could you help me out?”
Surprise overtakes her. How did he pass the audition? “Um…”
“You don’t have to. It’s alright.” His smile is forced, he’s about to walk away.
She reaches out and pinches the fabric of his tunic. “Hold on. It’s just that I haven’t memorized the script other than my part. And I’m mostly in charge of the choreography for the fight scenes. Haven’t you talked to your costar?”
“Lavinet? Every time I make a mistake, it’s all ‘darling, we’ll be here all night if we can’t get through this scene.’” He pretends to toss long curls over his shoulder, the way the Naveen heiress does. It’s a very good impression, and she struggles to contain her laughter.
“Okay, I understand why you got the role.”
“Acting is fine, it’s just the memorizing.”
“Then, why me?”
He tilts his head, his green eyes unblinking. “I’ve noticed how you work. You’re honest, you tell people how they can do better without judging them. I think you’re fair. Isn’t that enough?”
And she relents. “…Sure. I’ll help you.”
His expression is immediately relieved. “Thanks! You won’t regret it, you can meet me at the front after school.” He winks at her before sauntering away.
She doesn’t see him again, until the last bell rings. As she walks towards the front, she texts Belnus, that she’s helping out a classmate after school. He doesn’t reply, he must be busy. Figures. She’s just put her phone away when Chase sidles up to her, jangling his keys.
“We can take my car, I’ll drive.”
“To where exactly?” Nevertheless, she follows him into the parking lot. The headlights of a small green car flash, and there’s a loud beep as they approach.
“Not far. Just by the river.”
She knows what he’s referring to, and she settles into the shotgun seat, fastening her seatbelt. He drives down the suburban roads, slightly above the speed limit. Not that she’s surprised, she’s aware of his reputation. The detentions, the times he’s skipped class, the late night parties. The flirts and hookups, though she’s certainly not one to judge. Her ex’s face flashes in her mind, accompanied by the fresh sting of betrayal, and she clears her throat.
“So…” She ventures. “Do you go to the riverfront often?”
“I go everywhere, though I like the sound of water. And don’t our characters meet on the deck of your ship?”
Her character does kidnap the roguish, long-lost prince in the second act. “Yeah, we have a fifteen-second duel.”
“With fake swords. It’s a shame, I would have liked a dagger. Or a pistol!” He sighs longingly. “Lavinet said she wishes it was her, she actually has fencing experience.”
“She’d probably beat me. I’m alright, but I was on the archery team at my school last year.”
“Really?” He parks curbside, his hand slipping around her headrest. “That’s interesting. It’s too bad we don’t have one.”
“Yeah.” The conversation pauses as they exit the car and walk down the cobblestone path. “Maybe, I could start it.”
“I’ll back you up, Captain.”
“Captain? Because I’m the leader of the pirates?”
“Do you not like it?”
“It’s better than being labeled as the new girl. I’m over that.” She shrugs.
They reach the arched bridge and face each other, scripts in hand. The introductory scene always runs smoothly, so they begin with the revelation of his character’s origins. “‘Me, next in line to be king? That can’t be true! If you speak true, give me an elephant!”
“It’s ‘give me the evidence’.” She corrects. “Where would an elephant even come from?”
“That’s for the court official to figure out, hm? And wouldn’t it be more fun?”
She has the sudden thought of two of their classmates shoved into an oversized costume, and stifles a laugh. “You can bring it up at the next rehearsal. Let’s continue.”
So, Chase improvises. A lot. He slouches and jokes and makes wild gestures. When he throws her off guard by doing a backflip, she tries not to gape. However, it’s no use hiding anything from him. He seems to catch every little thing she does. Admittedly, she’s not great at the other parts. Her own voice is stilted, like when she’s trying to tell Belnus that the latest brawl wasn’t her fault. Dutifully, she reads off the paper, accurately if not entertaining.
After they hit the end of the first act, he suggests. “Why don’t we get to your real lines? I can’t have all the fun, right?”
“You want to see my Sadye?” She doesn’t need a wig, but she lets her hair down and rolls up the script into a hollow tube. She strides towards him, adopting an imperious posture. “Surrender. You’ll make a fine hostage, in exchange for your weight in gold.”
His eyes light up, and he rolls his script in a similar fashion. “Sorry, but I don’t know the definition of ‘surrender’.”
“That’s not your line-” She’s cut off when he attacks. She parries, as much as she can with paper against paper, and forgets how silly they must look. It’s their duel, and it comes naturally to her. Then, he cartwheels away, running to the other side of the river.
She sprints after him, a grin working up her face. She’s about to strike, land her last blow, and stops. They’re in front of a small gelato shop, and before she can say anything, Chase is already opening the door with a flourish.
“After you, Captain.”
“What the heck? Did you plan this?” She hesitates, aware of how sweaty she is. The air conditioning is tempting, drawing her inside. The counter is front and center, the carton lids removed to showcase the array of options. Chase seems to be a regular customer, ordering his usual double serving of coffee and chatting up the employees. He introduces her as a friend, with her actual name. She’s still blinking at the fact that he knows, that she almost forgets to make her choice.
Her attention fixes on the lemon flavor, with candied slices of the cut fruit on top. He has to notice, because he adds to the cashier. “And another cone with two scoops of lemon.”
She nudges his side, arguing. “I can’t let you pay. This isn’t a date.”
“Do you want it to be?”
Stunned, she freezes, and Chase hands over his credit card with a triumphant smirk. All she can do is take her gelato, follow him to a free table, and glare at him. Her ‘death ray’ was what her ex called that particular expression.
But he’s as nonchalant as ever. “It’s my treat, since you came with me on short notice. Come on, you deserve it.”
“Still not a date.” She tentatively licks and it’s very good. Sweet, tangy, refreshing. And she’s hungry from all the work they’ve done.
When the last bite is eaten, he beams. “This was fun. Same time next week?”
“As long as you don’t want to rehearse your kiss scene.” It’s a chaste peck, according to the script’s last stage direction.
“Only if you ask, my dear Captain.” Then, before she can protest, he brings her hand to his mouth. His breath ghosts over her skin, his green eyes keenly regarding her across the table. “I would rather lock lips than cross swords.”
“…Oh, you did remember your line.” Her face burns. These are the prince’s words to Captain Sadye, it’s not like he really means them for her. “I’m glad.”
“Me too. It’s all thanks to you.” He smiles, and it’s different from his earlier goofing off. It may be the most genuine she’s seen him.
Her phone vibrates, ruining the moment. A barrage of texts from Belnus is asking where she is, how soon she’ll be back, what she wants for dinner. “That’s my guardian. He must be stressed out.” She watches the new texts cascade down the glass screen. “Could you take me back?”
“Absolutely.”
“And yeah, just let me know whenever you want to practice.” She shares her number and on their way out, she sees him preface her contact name with ‘Captain <3’.
She swats him with her script.
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Quarters. | 9
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☼1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9 
prompt: “I don’t know why I’m crying, I just-...I really love you, like, just staring at you really fucks me up.” — soul-gazing
pairing: Jungkook x reader
warnings/au: please keep warnings in mind—dysfunctional relationship with a capital D, toxic relationship themes, but they’re attempting to get better, probably inaccurate therapy but i tried, m-ish, humor(i try), mentions of drug usage, cheater cheater pumpkin eater?, fluff, angst, boxer!au, iceskater!au. 
authors note: Hello!!💖it’s been a while since the last update but here we are. ✨This chapter is pretty long✨. Unlike some of the other parts, it is following the timeline of the previous part(pt. 8) so just keep that in mind. See m.list for other parts. Enjoy!🥰
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“Do it again, you need to stop relying on your right leg so much!”
Your coach yells for the third time in the last hour, she’s being a tyrant today. Your poor ankles are about to break off, your legs are straining and the cold air is starting to feel like vengeful needles. It’s been about two months since the incident with your leg and the doctor at your last check up granted you freedom to skate again. You’re glad it did to because you were about to go crazy. After the scandal came out about you and your ex-coach judge, she asked you if you wanted to get back into pairs. She went on about how Lucas was open to joining pairs again and that maybe you could get back with him—tempting offer. You’ve thought about it, though you still haven’t made a decision. It has been months since your injury, you can no longer use it as an excuse to take things easy. 
Determined to get it right, you skate back to your starting point and try it again. You skate forward, bending your knees just slightly to gain more momentum and once you turn, you take off into a triple salchow. Perfect.
”Finally,” You mutter, skating over to the edge of the rink where your coach is just getting off a phone call.
“Okay, Lucas will be here on Thursday to practice with you,” She smiles, tucking her phone in her pocket, “there’s a competition in two months and I think you two should sign up for it.”
“Coach, I haven’t decided if I want to get back into that,” You put on your blade guards and walk over to the lockers, “I just don’t know yet.”
“Think about it,” She leans against the lockers as you untie your skates and put them in your bag, “if you’re seriously pursuing this career, you have to be flexible. You’re not getting any younger. I hate it just as much as you do but you’ll get positive exposure with him and maybe even pick up a sponsor for the season.”
“Fine,” You zip up your duffel bag and slip your hoodie on, deciding to leave the yoga pants on, “but I need a break. I worked a night shift last night so I’m only standing because I took three espresso shots and I’m about to take another one, I’m exhausted.”
“I know you are, try to get some rest this weekend. You’ll be at the ballet studio for half of next week so you won’t be on the ice,” She says that, hoping it’ll give you some relief, “just don’t forget to soak your feet tonight.”
You gather your stuff and walk out of the center, waving at Carrie the desk clerk like a zombie. It’s only 8 o’clock but you’ve been here for two hours, you feel like you’re in a time loop. An eternal warp created to keep you totally spent. When you hop in your car, you crank it up and turn the heat on. Not long after, your eyelids begin to feel heavy so you drive over to the closest coffee shop. When you look down at your phone, you see a missed call from Jeon Jungkook. All prior emojis have been removed from his contact.
His call will stay missed, just like the other five. You’re not in the mood for his sob story. About two weeks ago, you decided that you two needed to take a break but he took it hard. You remember sitting on your couch with crossed arms and staring at him as he twisted and squirmed uncomfortably.
“What kind of break?”
Are there different kinds?
“The kind where we stop seeing each other all the time, I don’t know what kind that is, Jungkook. But I can’t deal with this right now, it’s causing me major stress and anxiety...”
“You can’t deal with me?” He sounds hurt.
“Not with you Jungkook, with your crap. I have a ice skating career to try to work out, a job, school, the last thing I need to worry about is whether you can control yourself,” You frown, “you were just at my house with my niece and next thing I know you’re out getting high and fooling around with other girls.”
“You’re still upset about the photo,” He concludes, “baby, I told you, it didn’t go anywhere with that girl, I pushed her off. I wasn’t completely sober but I know I didn’t let her-”
“That’s exactly my point, you were doing drugs. And for what? You don’t need it. I understand a little bit of smoking every now and then but I can’t handle when you do that other stuff. That night was a disaster. I got stabbed, how does that even happen? But of course, it would happen to me,” You massage the sides of your temples. “I’m just over it, I’m tired.”
“You want to give up on us? Just like that? I’ve apologized a thousand times, I don’t know how to prove to you that I’m sorry,” He twiddles his fingers and bites at his bottom lip, “I don’t know what else to do.”
“I’m not giving up,” You defend, “we need some space to work on our selves.”
“Why can’t we work on ourselves together?”
“We’ve been doing that and it doesn’t work.”
The conversation continued on until you two ended up arguing for a good hour before you lied, saying you had to go to class. He left and you haven’t heard from him since, not a a call, a text, a call, not even a like on any of your recent posts. He’s taking this well.
*
“Why did you do that!? She’s gonna think I called her,” Jungkook snatches the phone from Jimin, “fuck, are you trying to get me killed?”
“Come on,” Jimin roles his eyes with a grin, putting his boxing gloves back on, “you guys can’t stay away from each other, you expect me to believe you two aren’t talking-”
“I’m serious, we haven’t talked for weeks,” Jungkook locks his phone with a frown, tucking it in his gym bag, “she’s done with me.”
“Oh, aw man,” He is serious, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you guys broke up.” 
He had been by you and Jungkook for the entirety of the relationship, it always seemed like you preferred things to be spontaneous. Admittedly, he knew Jungkook would do something that pushed you over the edge one day but he didn’t think it would be so soon. 
“We didn’t break up,” Jungkook mumbles, tying his hair back with a head band, “we’re just taking a break, that’s what she told me at least.”
“Aw, that sucks,” Jimin has to contain his amusement, it’s not funny but the fact that Jungkook is giving you full control over the relationship is unusual to him.
“Every time I think about trying to talk to her, I just remember that face she makes and that tone she uses. That’s when I know she does not give a single fuck, it’s scary.” 
“Is there a reason she’s being so hard on you? Don’t get me wrong, you were in the wrong. You shouldn’t have been there but it’s been weeks.”
“Her past relationship was rough on her mentally and emotionally. When she was young she had some things happen to her that causes her to have a hard time trusting others.”
“If you knew that then why did you do what you did?”
“I don’t know, okay? Everyone's been beating me up about it but I just don’t have an answer for you. I said I was sorry,” Jungkook shakes his head, fists making brunt contact with the punching bag, “I just I miss her,”
“It’ll be alright, she’ll come around,” Jimin holds the bag, keeping it still for the lovesick boy, “just give it some time. Hey, I’m taking my niece to the ice-skating rink in town, you should come!”
Jungkook, dramatically collapses to the ground, laying back on the ground with his boxing gloves on his face. “Ice-skating, why would you suggest ice-skating!?” He whines. “That’s literally what she does, it’s just going to remind me of her...”
“Aw Kook, I know,” Jimin can’t help but giggle at Jungkook’s overreaction, “that’s okay, you’ll be fine, and besides,” He pulls him up from the ground and pushes his shaggy hair back, “you can’t stay away from each other forever..”
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“What about this one?” You step out of the dressing room, turning from side-to-side to let her see, “I like the color.”
“That’s the one,” Harmony scrolls through her phone, eyes going between you and the screen, “perfect.”
“Harmony, you’re just saying that!” You whine, turning to look into the mirror again with a frown.
“Y/n, this is the 11th dress you’ve tried on, it looks great. I’m serious.”
“Okay, I’ll go with this one then,” You smile, going back in the dressing room to change back into your clothes. Yuna’s having a party for the charity she works with. All of the money donated goes to buying toys and clothes for kids in foster care and orphanages, you attend every year. 
“You know, I heard Jungkook might come with Taehyung,”
Ugh, you forgot that your groups of friends are also friends. Jeon Jungkook, you still consider him your boyfriend in some aspects, but you don’t want to face him right now. Maybe you’re dragging this out too far but honestly, you don’t care. You love him but right now, you’re doing too well to let him crawl himself back into your life. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t creeping on his social media every now and then, you do care enough to see how he’s doing on there. 
“Hm,” 
“That’s all you have to say?” She giggles.
“Yup.”
“Did you officially dump his ass yet?”
You step out of the dressing room, rolling your eyes harder than necessary.
“Look, what happened to you was terrible. You couldn’t skate because of him. You caught him with another girl and you still let him take you home,” She was still bitter about Jungkook taking you away the way he did, she still thinks she should have insisted more.
You clear your throat, “I rather not talk about it.” 
It’s been admittedly awkward every time one of your friends bring that night up. On one hand, you understand why they bash him so hard but on the other hand, it’s hard to hear. You two leave the mall and grab lunch to eat in the comfort of your car..
During this break, you’ve decided to try and take things slow, relax. Admittedly, it would be nice to have Jungkook around again, to run errands with, to cuddle with. It’s hard not to miss him, you knew it would be. 
“We should go to the pop-up ice-skating rink on campus today, it’s a family thing I think,” Harmony squeezes ketchup onto her fries with a thoughtful him, “it sounds fun.”
“It’s funny you say that, Lucas invited me to go ther. He was going to go with his family, I told him I probably wouldn’t be able to.” You sigh.
“Oh, that’s right! The prince is back in town,” Harmony always had a thing for Lucas, even in high school. When you two were partners years ago, she still had a crush on him, “then we definitely should go. Are you getting back into pairs with him?
“Yeah, we’ll do one season together next year.” You have to admit, you are excited to get back into the practice with one of your best friends. 
“I’ll definitely have to brush up on my ballet lessons and I was always a bit too shaky during lifts. Our instructions used to say if I don’t look comfortable during lifts on the stable ground, I can’t expect to look good while I’m being lifted and Lucas is still skating. I trust Lucas a lot more now so I think it’ll go well,”
“Jungkook will love that.”
You take a bite of your chicken sandwich with a heavy sigh, “He’ll live...”
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“Uncle,” Yona sits with her little brother in the back seat while they wait for Jungkook to finish pumping the gas, “why does your friend look so grumpy? Doesn’t he want to go skating with us?”
Jimin glances back at Yona and smiles, thinking of how he should explain Jungkook’s situation. “He’s just upset, he’s fine.”
“What is he upset about?” Jimin hesitates for a moment but Jungkook signals that he’s running inside for something.
“Well,” He turns to face her, “can you keep a secret?” She eagerly nods. “Kookie is a little sad because he misses his girlfriend.”
“Oh, what happened to her?” Yona frowns, fearing what Jimin might say.
“Nothing happened to her, he’s okay, they just haven’t seen each other in a long time,” He rakes his brain, trying not to say too much about Jungkook’s love life, “but it’s okay, he’s alright. Just try to understand, he’s not trying to be a grump, he’s just a big teddy bear who pretends to be tough when he’s sad,” He grins, “but don’t tell him I said that.”
“Oh,” She nods adorably, pitying Jungkook, “I won’t,”
in the nick of time, Jungkook comes back with a receipt and mumbles something about the poor management in the convenience store. Jimin notices how Yona looks at him with sympathetic eyes but Jungkook doesn’t seem to notice. He’s too wrapped up in his phone to see that a 9-year-old is pitying his dysfunctional love-life.
It doesn’t take long before the four of them arrive at the skating rink and Jimin is helping, Juda, Yona’s sleepy 5-year-old brother out of the car. Yona takes the liberty of escorting her self out and walking over to Jungkook.
“Hi,” She looks up at him, not even a little intimidated by his towering stature over herself.
Jungkook looks around, as if she’s talking to someone else. “Hi,” He gives her a small wave, “it’s Yona, right?”
“Yes,” She nods, walking by his side, “uncle said your girlfriend skates, do you skate too?” 
Jungkook mentally cringes, bracing himself for whatever Jimin told this little girl about his personal life. “No, I’m a boxer, she’s the skater.”
“Ahh, ice skating is prettier than boxing, you should ice skate too,” She looks back at Jimin and Juda walking side by side, wondering if she should walk with them or stay with Jungkook. Just when she was about to further judge Jungkook’s life choices, Jimin and Juda catch up. Jimin leads the four of them to the skate rental booth where Jungkook avoids eye contact with the girls behind the counter. It’s hard enough to be in your environment, let alone be surrounded by couples and families skating to their hearts content. It’s not the same without you, it doesn’t feel like he should even be trying to enjoy himself after what he did to you.
Jimin and the kids get their skates on, but Jungkook tells them to go ahead without him. The more he sits here, the less he wants to be here.
*
“We decided to come and skate for a little bit, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to take your invitation, I didn’t think I’d be able to come.” You and Harmony skate out onto the ice.
Lucas stands at the edge of the rink, smiling. “It’s okay, I’m here with my family so don’t sweat it, hey! You wanna practice a routine, for old time sake?”
“There are way too many people to be practicing a routine. Besides, I’m already sore from practice yesterday.”
“Where’s your boyfriend? I thought you told me he skates with you sometimes,” He skates a circle around you, a toothy grin on his face, “I want to meet him.”
“He was busy,” You lie. You don’t know where Jungkook is or what he’s doing, “It’s just us.″
Somehow, he believes you and skates off with his family while you breathe.
“You lie,” Harmony shakes her head as if to say shame on you.
“What was I supposed to say? I’m not gonna burden him with my personal problems.”
You two go back and forth until she surrenders, claiming she’ll leave you a Jungkook’s relationship out of her mouth for the rest of the day. You highly doubt she can but you appreciate the effort. 
Nononononono—why is he here? And blonde. Your eyes widen, your palms get sweaty, just seeing him affects you. You’ve missed him. Judging by the way he’s sitting on the bench with his skates beside him, he looks sad. Who is he here with? 
”Y/n, Harmony, hey!” Jimin skates over to you with two little kids by his side, they’re so cute. “What’re you two doing here?”
”Jimin? Hi, fancy meeting you here, we decided to come last minute,” You’ve connect the dots now, “who are these two cuties?”
“I’m babysitting my niece and nephew,” He holds both of your hands and the both of them say a shy little greeting, “say hello guys,”
“Hi,” Yona waves at you two and you greet her with a bright smile.
Jimin glances back at Jungkook who has yet to notice you. “Y/n, can I talk to you for a minute?” You nod.
“Harmony can you please watch them for a second?”  “Me? Um, I guess but-”
You skate to the edge of the rink and Jimin follows, you already anticipating what this conversation is about.
“Jungkook is here.”
“I know, I saw him,” You deadpan.
“Look, I know what happened between you guys and he probably doesn’t want me to say this, but he’s been the biggest bitch since you two split, I’ve never seen him so at odds with himself.”
“What am I supposed to do about that? That’s not my fault.” You frown.
“I’m not saying that you need to do anything,” Now he understands what Jungkook meant about your infamous tone. “I just wanted to let you know, I figured you haven’t talked.”
“I’m sorry,” You hold your face in your hands, “I’m not trying to be mean, I just have a lot on my mind and I wasn’t expecting to have to deal with him today.”
“Maybe you two can talk, I’m not saying you should get back together but maybe talking face to face will help you find common ground?”
That’s advice that you know you should take but the thought of talking to him makes your stomach uneasy. It’s easier to ignore him, erase him from your life while you figure out what you want. You’re very childish in the aspect of talking things out, he is too.
“Here he comes,” Jimin looks over at Jungkook who is slowly approaching you two, “I’ll give you two some space-”
“Jimin, I swear, if you did this on purpose!-” Your threat is cut short when he skates away and Jungkook skates up to you. As if you don’t even see him, you quickly skate away, uninterested in anything he might have to say.
Jungkook knows he can’t possibly out-skate you. He mumbles a few curses before skating over to Jimin and the kids as frustrated as ever. For a moment, he almost changed course because Harmony, his biggest hater, is with them and she is one of the last people he wants to see.
“Jungkook, hey,” Jimin sighs, dreading the angry frown in Jungkook’s brows, “I’m glad you decided to-”
“Did you know she was here?” Jungkook cuts straight to the punch, not paying any mind to Harmony whose staring at him as if he’s a mass murderer.
“No,” Jimin shrugs, voice low in order not to alarm the kids who are skating near by, “you know I would have told you.”
“I’ll be in the car.” He skates off, anxious to get off the ice but he’s stopped when another skater bumps into his shoulder.
“Sorry!-”
“Don’t worry about it,” Jungkook shrugs, but just when Jungkook was about to leave the guy gives him a weird look. 
“Wait, what’s your name? You look so familiar,”
“Jungkook,” He responds with a bit of impatience, “I don’t think I know you from anywhere, sorry-”
“You’re Y/n’s boyfriend! She showed me some of her pictures pictures,” Lucas smiles but Jungkook’s eyes darken, “I’m Lucas, we’re competing in pairs again next season, I’m sure she’s told you.”
“Oh, I didn’t know, probably slipped her mind,” You haven’t mentioned it on purpose. Then again, how could you? You haven’t talked in weeks.
Just when he thought this day couldn’t get any worse, he meets your partner, and he’s not ugly,
“She said you couldn’t come because you were busy, did you come to surprise her?”
“Something like that- I’m sorry, I gotta go.”
“Okay, well...nice to meet you,” Lucas waves him off but Jungkook doesn’t pay him any mind. 
He thought this might go differently, why did he think that? As soon as he saw you, that tug in his heart came back, that desire to be around you came back. When you walked away, it made him feel like crap, you didn’t even want to look at him.
While he’s skating off to the side to leave the rink, he sees you taking off your personal skates and putting them in their bag. Of course, your caddie is right next to where his heavy black boots are. He enters the room opens the caddie with the little pass-code they gave him when he rented the skates. You spare him a glance as you tie your sneakers and he sits to get his shoes on.
“Did you have to ignore me like that?” He decides to speak up.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” You frown, “I don’t even know why you’re here.”
“Since when did you start caring where I go?” He bites back. “You’ve been ghosting me for fucking weeks and suddenly I’m not allowed to go out?”
“I didn’t want to see you...I was doing so good, I was forgetting about you.” You lean back, not giving him eye contact.
”Wow, just what I wanted to hear,” He thought you would say something like that but he didn’t expect you to be so blunt. 
“You can’t say you’re surprised, can you?”
“No, but the least you can do is talk to me.”
”Fine, that’s fair. What do you have to say?” You stand to your feet, your bag tight in your hand/
”Believe it or not,” He gets up to lean on the wall behind him, “I love you, so I'm letting you drag me along and make all of the rules but I’m just asking that you communicate with me, I need to know what you want,” He tends to ask this question when he’s most desperate for your good side to emerge.
“Why don’t you tell me what you want? I’m not the one going around making decisions that hurt our relationship, not recently anyway.” You throw a jab at him, you couldn’t contain it anymore.
“If you’re trying to make me feel like shit, you’ve succeeded. You’ve been succeeding for weeks now, it’s actually starting to get to me, mentally.” As he says that, an unsuspecting few individuals come in to get there things.
“Can-” You pause and walk over to him to eliminate the awkward distance, “Can we talk about this somewhere else?”
His spirits brighten a little because at least you’re interested in continuing the conversation, you haven’t even attempted to do that until now. So when he stutters out an “okay”, his feet move as soon as yours do. He’s walking right next to you and you find yourself keeping your arms crossed, away from his hands that you would normally be holding. By the time you walk out to the rink, Jimin is still with the kids and Harmony is gone, probably in the restroom. You find a secluded area near the concession area and take a seat, he does the same right across from you. 
“Do you want to break up?” 
He puts it out there. He’s never been the one to hesitate, especially when his heart is on the line.
“What do you mean?” You swallow, not expecting to be confronted with that question.
He almost scoffs because you’re having a similar reaction to his reaction to you telling him you wanted to take a break.
“Do you not want to be in a relationship anymore? If this isn’t something you’re willing to do anymore, I need you to tell me so I can grieve in peace...I feel really lost right now.”
“Grieve? I’m not going to die if we break up, Jungkook, and I never said I wanted to break up—I never said I didn’t love you either. That’s not what this is about, it’s not about whether we love each anymore, it’s about trust.” 
“How can I gain your trust?”
You look around, making sure no one is listening in on you two before mumbling out your answer. “I don’t know...I just don’t trust you, I can’t tell you how to make it up to me because people who screw me over, I normally stay as far away from them as I can.”
All you can think about is the lies from your birth-mother, the betrayal and humiliation that came over you when you found out about your ex. Situations like that always come to mind when the subject of trust is mentioned. You’ve been hurt and Jungkook knows that, he knows when you feel like you can’t trust someone, you shut down. You want nothing to do with that person, your pain blinds you—its your character flaw.
“You’re lucky I’m even talking to you right now,” You mumble, nibbling at your bottom lip.
“Yeah, I know.” He scoffs, a look of disbelief that turns into an understandable shrug of his shoulders. 
“I’ve always thought of you as someone I didn’t deserve, you know that,” He glances down at his twiddling fingers, “when we got together, you changed me and I’m so grateful for that...I was such a shitty person before I met you- I mean, I’m sure you think I’m shitty now but I was way worse.” It surprises you when you see tears welling at his eyes that he quickly wipes away, tattooed fingers getting a bit wet.
“Jungkook,” You lay a hand over his with sympathetic eyes, “I still love you.”
“Seriously?” He glances up at you, surprised. 
“Yes...You hurt me, you made me feel stupid and I’m not over it...But I never forget those times where I made life difficult for you, you never made me feel irredeemable. No matter how awful I acted, you never made me feel like a burden. That’s more than I can say about a lot of people in my life.”
The more you talk this out with him, the more you realize how harshly you’ve been treating him. It doesn’t change how you feel about your relationship, but it does open your eyes to the standard you’ve been holding him to. You don’t know if you’re ready to start again.
“Well, I have to be honest with you,” He looks at you through his dirty blonde locks, “it still hurts like hell to have you treat me like a stranger. That shit is painful, even for me.”
“I’m sorry,” You murmur out an apology before you can really think about it, “I’m just upset at you is all...” Slowly, you take your hand off of his and your eyes wander back to his dear-like eyes. 
“Everyone’s telling me I should let you go but I don’t want to. I just need to know that you’re willing to wait for me, and to work on yourself...”
“I’ll do anything, I’ll do whatever it takes for us,”
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Shortly after that day, you found yourself thinking more and more about your future. It made you cringe at one point, what were you planning to do with the rest of your life? Whatever you planned to do, you always imagined Jungkook would be by your side. Now, you’re coming to terms with the fact that things may not go as planned.
“Y/n, are you ready?” Lucas calls your name from outside of the dressing room.
”What are you doing in here? This is the woman’s locker room,” You open the door, now fully dressed in your new leotard.
”We’re the only ones here,” Lucas stands with a matching outfit, far less sparkly as yours.
”Why does she always pick these leotards for me? You always get the toned down looks-” You walk over to the mirror, furrowing your brows, “Oh, actually, this one is kinda nice.”
“She knows you’re the most dramatic out of the two of us, maybe that’s why,” He shrugs his shoulders before quickly running back out into the ballet studio. Your least favorite part of your career is the ballet lessons, it’s the most grueling.
“Come on out, Y/n, we only have the studio for the morning so we need to use our time wisely.”
“Sorry,” You walk out with an urgency, “the costume fits okay, a little snug but it’s doable.”
Coach gives you a knowing look, she’s been floating the idea of a diet around. As committed as you are to your craft, dieting is one thing you don’t think you need to do well. You try to stay fit but sometimes you’re more concerned about your dwindling love life than you dress size. The ballet instructor emerges from around the corner and you cringe, the next few hours are about to be painful. 
Yet, as the class progresses, your thoughts drift farther from the positions and you find yourself zoning out completely.
*
*
At one point in time, you couldn’t imagine being without Jungkook. Out of all of the people who’ve come and gone out of your life, he stayed. He became your best friend and your first love.
“I don’t want to be here anymore, please, just let me go home,” You sat on the hotel room floor, hair pin in your hands and a painfully cold ice bag on your ankle, “...I can’t go back out there.”
She stands with crossed arms, her unchanging expression not doing anything for your emotional state.”Y/n, you are a professional, and do you know what professionals do?”
”No.”
“They finish the competition, no matter what. You need to stay for the judging, “
“Why? I fell on my biggest jump on live television. Cindy. I look like an amateur...There’s no way in hell they’ll even consider placing me. That means I’m done for, I might as well kiss nationals goodbye.”
”That was the last program, you still have a chance-“
”Not after Charlotte’s routine! You said it yourself, I had to be flawless or Charlotte would take my spot in the qualifying team, there was no room for error. This is the one time it had to be perfect...” You use the bed to help you up and you sit down n the edge of it.
”It won’t be perfect every time. You work harder than any girl I know, and not just in this sport, you work hard at whatever you do and you support yourself, you’re the only girl I know who’s parents aren’t paying for you to be here. You deserve to be here, you made one mistake, one. It’s not the end of the world, sweetheart,” Cindy takes a seat beside you, a comforting hand going to your shoulder, “these things happen.”
You take a deep breath, trying to calm down and think rationally. Cindy is trying her best to talk you off of the ledge but you’re very much still there. She says you work so hard, but what do you have to show for it? You’re doing this alone a majority of the time. Your family only comes to support you sometimes, they don’t have a lot of free time to spend on your hobby. Your iceskating is a glorified hobby to them, they won’t say it but it’s true. After they told you to pick a major and find a good paying 9-5, they stopped paying for your iceskating. They’re paying for school but that’s it, you’re supporting yourself in every other aspect. That gave you all the reason to try to prove to them that you were an exceptional athlete. To prove to them that you did it all on your own, that’s your only goal. Yet, the more you reach for that, the farther you get from it.
”Listen, I need to check on the other girls, alright? I hope you reconsider.” She pecks your forehead, a motherly affection that you’ve come to appreciate from her. She is like a mom in some ways. She cares for the entire team, and she would never say it, but she has a particular soft spot for you. She can see how much you want this, how the ice can take you to a different place.
You were meant to do this, she always tells you that. She saw the fire in you as soon as she accepted you on her team. Your passion attracted her to you, you never stopped, you had so much drive. Some people are meant to fight tooth and nail for what they want, sometimes you have to ask yourself, why do I have be one of those people?
Ignoring your better judgment, you packed your bags and took the 2-hour drive back to your apartment. All while you were fleeing the city to seek refuge at home, you received multiple phone calls from Jungkook but you couldn’t bring yourself to call him back. When you got home, you took off your tracksuit and sank face first into your coach. 
As much as you wanted Jungkook to come to the competition, you insisted that he stay and take that job. He hasn’t been boxing as much so any extra art job he can take, you encourage him to take it. He told you he’d streamed the competition while working on the mural at a nearby bar. His heart sank when you took that fall.  You put hours of practice into that routine and perfected it, he had seen you do it flawlessly several times. 
All he wanted to do was hug you and tell you that you did well but all he could do was hope that you weren’t beating yourself up. He could only imagine how devastated you were and to not be able to be there for you, he couldn’t stand it. He finished up the mural and you had finally texted him saying, ‘I came home early.’ He went straight to your apartment with the big pink bunny he bought for you, you need it even more now.
”Hey, it’s me,” He opened the front door and announced himself softly and walks further inside. 
The television barely illuminates the living room but he sees you laying on the couch. He sits the bunny down behind the couch so you can’t see them before walking around to greet you in your depressing state.
“I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow, baby,” He rests a hand on thigh and kisses your cheek, “you must’ve known how much I was missing you,” His attempt to make you smile goes painfully unnoticed. 
He bites at his bottom lip in thought. “Did something happen?...”
You swallow the lump in your throat and finally look him in the eyes, “Did you watch my second program?” 
“I did, you looked beautiful-”
“I’m quitting.”
He turns his whole body to you, brows deeply furrowed like a cartoon character. “What?”
You cover your face with a pillow, successfully hiding your tears, “I’m calling Cindy to tell her I don’t want to do it anymore, I quit.”
“Woah, wait, why?” He takes the pillow from you to see your face, “Y/n, calm down, what’s going on? Tell me what happened.”
“I- I didn’t make the national team, that was my only chance until next year. All my hard work went down the drain and everyone saw me screw up..” You wipe your tears with your sleeve.
“Hey, it’s okay, you cry if you need to,” He pulls you into a hug, cradling your head to his chest, “I know this is tough for you but it’s not the end of the world, it’ll get better.”
You pull away from him as if he were suddenly hot to the touch and bury your face into the arm of the couch. “You wouldn’t understand, the pique of my career was riding on this, and I blew it. It feels like the end of my world, okay?” 
You know your words are muffled by the couch, that’s probably for the better anyway. “T- that’s just how I feel...” 
He doesn’t pry any further after that. He knows there’s not much he can say to change your mind right now. Instead, he scoots closer to your side and places a comforting hand on your back, rubbing soothing circles as he waits for you to continue.
“I have nothing if I lose this, there’s all this pressure on my shoulders and its tearing me apart...” You turn to wipe your face and sit up. “I love skating, it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do...if I stop, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”
You’ll never forget that night. 
He lifted you into his lap and kept his arms tight around you. “You’re so much more than just your skating. You’re so good at but it’s not all that you are.” Jungkook has a way of talking you off of the edge but that night, you were especially down on yourself.
“Yes it is...” 
“No it’s not,” He sighs, “look, I know what it feels like to find your identity in something and then all of a sudden, that something is gone...When my portfolio got rejected, I felt like a failure. My family never got behind the boxing thing, so I’ve always tried to find another way to support myself just in case for whatever reason it doesn’t work out...I didn’t start realizing that until recently. I’m constantly torn between giving up one dream for the other but I want to do both, you actually inspire me to do both.” You furrow your brows, briefly abandoning your own issues to listen to him. 
“You work so hard and you’re showing your family that you can do this, you just have to believe in yourself, and you know what? You’re doing amazing. Tonight was just a bad night, it happens.” He squeezes you tight and you do the same, arms fastened around his neck as if it would kill you to let go.
You didn’t need to say anything after that. You settled your mind and you were no longer at the edge, you were still close, but not there. With your head resting over his shoulder, you try to peek over the couch to see what he dropped back there when he walked in.
“Hey, what’d you think you’re doing?” Jungkook leans forward and your grip around him is loosened so you can no longer look back there. “You think I got something for you?”
You look down a bit embarrassed that he caught you, “Well, yeah...you did,  didn’t you?” You smile for the first time tonight and he breathes a sigh of relief. Finally.
He was going to tease you for wanting your gifts even though you just had a meltdown. But how could he? He wants to keep this smile on your face for as long as possible.
“Sit,” He lifts you off his lip and back to your previous seat on the couch, “no peeking.”
You hold your hands over your eyes, excited even thought have no idea what it might be.
“Okay, open.”
When you move your hands to see you squeal in excitement. “Oh, Jungkook! It’s so cute!” You stand up to take the pink bunny that’s almost more than half your size. “Thank you,” You lean into him with the bunny between you two, “it’s so big and soft, like you.”
“Yeah I know,” He sways from side-to-side with you in his arms, “you feeling better?”
You muffle your sigh into the stuffed animal, “I still wanna quit.”
“Oh stop,” He pulls the from your grip and tosses it onto the couch, “you’re just being bratty now,”
“No I’m not,” You whine, the issue still very fresh, “I’m still sad...I just really like my gift and I’m happy to see you...But I am still upset.”
“Aw, I’m sorry,” He lays on the couch and beckons you into his arms to lay on his chest, “let’s cuddle you until you feel better then, will that help?” 
“Maybe...”  
You’d be lying if you said you could live without that side of him.
*
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A few days later, you’re surprised you hadn’t heard from him. But when you get back from the gym with a missed call from him and a solemn text to  ‘call back when you can’, you actually call him back.
“Is something wrong?”
“No, nothings wrong. Thank you for calling me back.” 
His voice sounds relaxed but a bit anxious.
“Did you need something?” You sigh, pouring your boiling water in your mug.
“Are you free to go with me somewhere at 11? And then maybe, we could grab dinner? Just-...Don’t be mad, please.”
Anxiety bubbles in your chest.
“What’re you talking about?”
“I signed us up for couples therapy.”
“You did what?” Somewhere in your mind, you had wanted him to bring this up—you never imagined that he actually would.
”You said we don’t know how to work on ourselves together, I read that therapy helps with that. Will you go with me? If you don’t like it, you never have to do it again I swear.”
“Jungkook...I appreciate the effort, I really do, but how did you find this therapist? Do you trust them?”
”Of course. He has great reviews online and my-...Well, my mom found him actually.”
You pause, a bit taken aback. He talked to his mom about your relationship and he took her advice about seeing a therapist? He must have really taken your words to heart about getting help.
“Can you pick me up?”
“Sure, I’ll be there in 20.”
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When he picked you up, you were reminded just how well he could clean up. Sure, he always dresses so well and smells amazing, but he’s different today—you can tell he put in a lot of effort. You’re glad you decided to do your makeup and where a nice sundress, you would have felt terribly under-dressed.
“Hi, how can I help you?
“Hi, we have an appointment for Jeon at 5, with Seojoon.”
You stand next to Jungkook at the front desk, your hands tightly clutching your purse. It’s hard to not think the woman is judging you and Jungkook for being here. She’s probably seen hundreds of people come into this office but something in you can’t shake the feeling. She directs you two to the waiting room and says he’ll come get you two in a few minutes.
“So,” You begin, glancing at Jungkook, “I’m nervous...” 
“Me too.” This is new for the both of you. In only a few seconds, who you assume to be Seojoon emerges from the hallway and you look at him a bit wide-eyed. 
“Hi, Jungkook, Y/n, are you two ready?” 
“Oh, um, yes.” You stand up in sync with Jungkook, already wanting to run out of here but you resist.
You have to admit that the office is really nice, not stiff and sterile looking, the energy is very calming. Seojoon opens the door to a cozy-looking room with tons of natural sun light. There’s warm-rose colored couch that you assume is for ‘the couple.’
“Alright, you can take a seat right there, make yourselves comfortable.” He smiles, taking a seat and you two do the same.
“So let’s get right into it. What brought you two here today? If you could both tell me your separate answers, that would be great.” Despite Seojoon looking at you directly to presumably go first, you divert your eyes and look at Jungkook to say something first.
“Well, we’re- I think we’re going through a lot right now and I just want to save our relationship.” Jungkook sits back, resting against the arm of the couch as he gazes at you to give your answer.
“What about you, Y/n?”
You glance down at your lap, feeling very out of your comfort zone and not confident enough to verbalize what you would like to say. Alas, you try.
“I feel the same way, we’re not in a good place and I’m confused about what to do-...I just want what we used to have.” You confess a bit of your true feelings but ignore the longing look Jungkook gives you.
“When did you start feeling like the relationship was changing?”
“Fairly recently. We were fine, at least I thought we were until I saw him with another girl back in an old lifestyle that I thought he gave up...”
Seojoon diverts his attention away from you and to Jungkook. “Jungkook, do you want to share a little bit about that?”
“Not really,” He answers honestly at least.
“Why not?”
“To be honest, I don’t know why she keeps throwing the same jab at me. I’ve told her the truth but she doesn’t want to hear it. I went out that night,” He almost glares at you, “I didn’t plan to. I ran into an old friend and I just-...I thought it was harmless and I got caught up...” 
Seojoon scribbles something down. “Okay, so can you fill me in a little bit. Are we talking about unfaithfulness? Addiction?”
“Unfaithfulness,” You interject. “he said he didn’t cheat on me but...” You mumble, your confidence faltering for some reason. “It’s hard to believe that.”
“But you think he did so you have some distrust. Were you unfaithful, Jungkook?”
“It doesn’t matter if I say I did or I didn’t, she thinks I did.” He shrugs.
”Y/n,” Seojoon puts an end to the death stare you had on Jungkook, “can you tell Jungkook what cheating looks like to you?”
”Not sleeping with her doesn’t mean you didn’t cheat on me. Letting her put her hands on you- And I don’t care if it was just a kiss! You shouldn’t have been in that situation, and for me to have to see it on social media? I could have killed you I was so mad. You should ask Jungkook what cheating is to him. We obviously have different standards for defining it...”
”What does cheating look like to you, Jungkook?” He heeds your suggestion without any push-back.
”To me,” He hesitates, feeling a bit scrutinized, “it’s when a person violates the intimacy of the relationship by giving it to someone else.”
“What kind of intimacy?”
“Emotional, physical, every kind,” He turns to you, “I wouldn’t do thingst that I do with Y/n with anyone else, not by choice-”
“Yes you would! You did...Are you trying to tell me that you were assaulted? That she forced her way on you?”
“I was blitzed! I don’t fucking know. All I do know is that she got on top of me and I pushed her off. That’s it. I swear, if anything else happened, I don’t remember it.”
“I don’t care. You know what I’ve been through, to even allow another girl to even get close to touching you like that...It was a slap in the face.”
Seojoon’s ears perk up at the mention of your past. “Did you have to go through a similar situation in a previous relationship?” 
“Yes and he knows this. I was being cheated on before and the guy had a literal baby on the way throughout our entire relationship...It was traumatizing.” It stings his ears to hear you say that. But it’s true, he knows your past and he didn’t let it stop him. 
“What happened must have triggered you,” You nod to yourself, “but you’re here to try to work through forgiveness and build trust. If you two are comfortable with it, I’d like you do do two exercises; one here and one when you’re alone. The first one that you’ll do here, I need you to face each other, preferably close, and I have some questions for you two to ask each other.”
“Like this?” Jungkook answers instantly and turns to you, getting closer to you than he has in weeks. You face him slowly, eyes wavering a bit. His face has always been a soft-spot for you, staring at him makes you feel weak.
“Actually,” Seojoon stands up, gesturing for you to do the same, “two chairs might be more comfortable, yeah? Let’s go to my other room.”
You follow Seojoon to a small room with three chairs a small table in front of them. Jungkooks pulls seat out so they’re facing each other. When you look up to acknowledge him with deliberate eye-contact, for a moment he thinks you might be softening. 
“I want you all to start with ‘I’ statements, tell your partner how you feel or how you felt in this case. Try to maintain eye-contact and truly listen to each other.”
“I’ll go first,” You volunteer because you want to get this over with.
“I feel alone and helpless when you go back to your old habits, I feel like you’re hiding things from me...” You find a way to keep your eyes-locked to his. 
“I’m not asking you to be perfect but I just want you to make me feel special to you...Like you wouldn’t dream of being with someone else. Because I don’t think of loving anyone else, and trust me I’ve tried to imagine it but I can’t,” You bite your cheek to keep from crying, “you make it so hard to trust you. You don’t listen and you don’t change until it’s too late.” 
Being emotionally inept is something you are both too good at. It’s difficult for you to share your true feelings with a clear mind, but when you do, you can never guess what will happen next. 
“I feel trapped by you. I know I fucked everything up, okay? You don’t have to keep reminding me.” His tone is harsher than you anticipated. 
“I’m trying to put in the fucking effort to help us, and I’m giving you time. But when you tell me you still want me but you won’t even let me come around, it’s confusing. You’re confusing, that’s just how I feel.” His brows furrow and you notice Seojoon watches the exchange intently.
“But I miss you and I want you back, I don’t want to take a break,” He leans forward with his hands firmly gripping your knees over your dress, “I know you think I’m an asshole but I try to change, I’m trying, you know I wouldn't bring you to this if I could think of any other way to prove that to you.” The strain in his voice only stirs more emotions inside of you. 
“Jungkook,” Seojoon calls his name softly and Jungkook looks over as if he forgot he was there, “try not to engage in any physical, okay? It can be overwhelming.”
“Sorry,” He takes his hands from you and sits back, “that’s all I want to say.” 
“Alright, well, um,” Seojoon clears his throat, eager to break the tension up a little bit, “unfortunately our session is up but I want to give you two a list of exercises and talking points. I know this was a consultation appointment but I want to give you some things to work on at home. I’ll have Kelly type up your homework, alright?”
“Okay, thank you,” you both thank the therapist but you get up with an urgency and leave the room before Jungkook can follow you. When you make it out to the waiting room, you spot the bathroom and you bolt to it. Before you have to spend a car ride with him, you need to get your emotions together. 
“Mr. Jeon,” The receptionist calls him from the hall, “this is for you, you can bring it back to the next appointment for a discount.” Jungkook halfheartedly thanks her before going to the car. He doesn’t even know if there will be another session. He needs to smoke before you come out and you’ll freak if he smokes while you’re in the car. 
“Why did I come here...” You look at the mirror and frown, you look so rough. It was nice to get everything out in the open but you knew he’d get intense eventually. Only when the toilet flushed did you remember that there were multiple stalls in here. When you look away from the mirror to fumble through your purse, just trying to avoid talking to her. 
”Hi, how are you?”
“I’m okay, how are you?”
“Oh god, nervous, I’m nervous. Me and my husband, we’re newly weds, our appointment is in five minutes and I really don’t know what to expect. Did you have an appointment with your partner?”
“I did,” You sigh, “it was-...It was fine, don’t be nervous.” In your attempt to comfort her, you find your self in a highly hypocritical position. “Me and my boyfriend, we’re different so ours was a little- A little chaotic but I think it helped a little,” You hesitate, “I don’t know.”
“That makes me feel a little better, hopefully my husband behaves himself,” She tosses her wavy brown hair over her shoulder and smiles, “well, it was nice meeting you.”
It takes you a moment but you gather the strength to wave goodbye and go face your boyfriend.
”Excuse me, Miss, I think your husband forgot to grab this.” The receptionist waves you over and hands you a little folder.
”Oh,” You try to hide the blush forming on your cheeks.  he’s not my- We’re not married.” 
”Oh, I’m sorry! He only put his last name on the appointment so I thought it was your name as well. Sorry about that, have a great rest of your day.” She bids you farewell with a flustered smile.
When you walk outside, you see Jungkook leaning against the car. You thought he might’ve been smoking but you can’t detect any small. That’s a relief.
”You feeling okay?” He questions gently. 
You nod, hopping in the car with the desire to be home already. He gets in the car and glances at you from the corner of his eye, he worries that this might have been too much for you. 
“Where do you want to eat?” 
“There’s a ramen place down the street, that’s fine with me.” You suggest, eyes trained on your phone.
The air in the car isn’t tense or stiff, its just quiet. There’s a lot to unpack from the session and you figured Jungkook was thinking through it too. That’s why when you two arrived at the ramen shop, took your seats, and placed your orders, the silence was getting to be a bit too awkward for you.
“I like the new hair, you’ve never gone this blonde before,” You glance up at him, trying to start a conversation, “it looks good.”
“Thanks, it was an impulsive thing. I heard you decided to get back into pairs,” He brings the coke to his lips, “I was surprised to hear that.”
“Oh, yeah,” You figured he would find out soon, “I’m back with Lucas for the season.”
“Good for you,” That’s not a reaction you were expecting from anti-pairs-skating Jungkook. Then again, you know him well enough to know that he’s probably keeping his true opinion to himself.
“The receptionist gave this to me,” You pull the paper out of your purse and show it to him, “I think it has additional information.”
“Let me see,” You hand it to him, “hm, soul-gazing? What the hell is that...” He reads over the description and it makes him giggle. “Nonverbal communication between lovers, allows couples to explore intimate places in the relationship. We do this already, but it’s a little more than eye contact,” He recalls those dreamy moments that he used to share with you so often, gazing at you with a smile.
“We can try that later maybe,” You avoid his smile with a glance out the window.
“Okay. So, about the session today, I hope you understood where I was coming from...I didn’t expect to say all that, I’m sorry if it was too much.”
“Don’t apologize, I wanted to hear how you felt.”
“I’m sorry,” He extends a hand out on the table, hoping you’ll take it, “I’ve thought about what I’ve done and I’ve tried to repent for it. But at the end of the day, it’s up to you. But just tell this once, you miss us, don’t you?”
“I do, Jungkook...It’s just, I’m in a tough spot and I don’t- I don’t want to disappoint anyone or myself.”
“You’re talking about your friends or your family?” He frowns at the thought of either party trying to discourage you.
“My family doesn’t know anything about this, it’s my friends who are concerned for me. They saw me get hurt and they don’t want to see it happen again, they want me to be happy.”
“Don’t listen to them, all they do is talk shit about me and try to tell you what you need. The only people who have a say in this relationship is you and me. We choose what makes us happy, not them.”
“But I’m not happy,” And it doesn’t change the fact that you’re still being judged, “I’ve actually been depressed when I think about us, when I think about what we used to have and what we have now, how did this happen?”
“I’m sorry I did this to you,” He sighs when you finally reach out to take his hand, “I never mean to hurt you,”
“I want you back so bad sometimes,” You break, letting your true feelings out to him, “but just because I want it doesn’t mean I should, it’s always been hard for me to separate the two.”
“That never stopped you before,” He flashes that smile, the one you fell so hard for on the roof of his car. 
“Now look where I’m at,” You take your hand back, “going to therapy with you.”
*
*
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Jungkook took you home and sunset had passed, it was already dark. You found yourself inviting him in, hugging him longer than you should have when he was on his way out. Why were you holding on to him so tight? His bomber jacket lands on the floor and you relish in his arms, you haven’t felt like this in a long time. Maybe it won’t hurt to let him in, indulge. It doesn’t take long before you let him kiss you for the first time in weeks. It feels new, it can happen a thousand times and it’ll always feel new. 
But then your phone begins to ring and reality washes over you like a cold shower.
“Wait,” You pull away from the kiss and slide off of the counter to his dismay, “I need to get that-”
“Ignore it,” Jungkook cups your jaw, trying to persuade you with longing eyes, “please ignore it-”
“I can’t, it’s my mom, something might be wrong,” You quickly answer the phone and walk into the living room. “Hello?”
“Where are you?”
“I’m at home, is something wrong?”
“You forgot, didn’t you? Your brother Leo, you were supposed to pick him up so he could stay with you for the night. me and your dad had to take Milo to his Taekwondo tournament for the weekend.” Your mother stresses over the phone.
“I’m so sorry! Mom, seriously, I totally forgot,” This is the worst possible timing, “doesn’t Leo have his license, he can drive here, can’t he?”
“We have the car. Don’t worry about it, it’s handled now, his friend came by and he’s staying with him.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t know how that crossed my mind,” You can’t help but feel as if you’ve disappointed her by forgetting such a simple thing, “I’ve been busy, I’m prepping for the next season, I’m working and in school, it’s a lot right now-”
The conversation  ends with a cold lecture from her and a solemn goodbye when she hangs up. You massage your temples, and look at Jungkook who’s coping with the best part of his day being ruined by a phone call.
“Everything okay?”
“I forgot to pick up my brother, my mom asked if he could crash here but I forgot all about it..”
“When have any of your siblings actually visited you? Except for your sister when she needs a babysitter.” Jungkook always sports a defensive tone when your family comes into the conversation.
“He’s only come over a few times. But he has friends who live over here so that’s normally why,” You take a deep breath. “She sounded frustrated so I know she’s upset.”
”Don’t stress about that,” He comes in close, wrapping his arms around your waist. “your mom shouldn’t beat you up about that, especially since she knows how much you have on your plate.” He smooths down your hair and kisses your forehead gently. That innocent forehead kiss quickly migrated down to your neck and you bite your tongue.
”Jungkook, please,” You get out of his embrace and leave him longing.
"Why do you keep pushing me away? I know you, this isn’t like you. You push me away but never for this long,” He follows you to your bedroom where you kick off your shoes and take off you cardigan. ”If you’re serious about making this work again, you’ve gotta help me out a little here.” 
You feel him looming behind you, so close that you feel the warmth of him on your lower-back, or is that his hand?
“You’re here, aren’t you? I’m being really nice right now,” You step away from him, “but you need to stop.”
“Stop what?” He feigns ignorance.
“If that’s what you were hoping for you should just go,” You pick up his jacket and hand it to him, “it’s not happening.”
“Ok, but do you mind if I stay the night?” 
You stare at him in disbelief for a moment, debating whether or not that’s a good idea.
“Why? It’s not even that late yet.”
“I don’t want to make the drive home, I’ll leave first thing in the morning.” He pleads, those big round eyes helping his case immensely.
“Fine. But you’re on the couch,” He looks a bit disappointed but he was expecting that, “I’m gonna shower, you can wait for me or use the guest bathroom if you want.”
With that, you walk off into your bedroom to get your clothes and then into the bathroom in the hall. Though you hesitated to let him stay, it’s really not a big deal now that you think of it. He’s stayed over more times than you can count so you feel no need to punish him by saying no.
Baby steps. 
Jungkook falls into the couch, relieved and anxious—but mostly relieved. He was sure you were going to throw him out. When he hears the shower turn on, he begins to wonder what you might be thinking about, do you want him the way he wants you right now? If so, you’re hiding it pretty well. Just being in your home makes him feel comfortable and happy, that and your presence. You’ll be a while in the shower so he figures a few moments of relaxation on the balcony won’t hurt. 
*
When you step out of the steamy bathroom, you hug your robe tightly to your body. Curious to see what he’s doing you peek out of the hall and see him on the balcony, shirt nowhere to be seen and smoke wafting from the little stick in his finger. Jungkook has always been a temptation, a forbidden fruit so to speak. You had one bite, and that’s all it took. 
It’s a warm night, that’s probably why he’s showing all of the neighbors his tattooed glory, you giggle to your self at the thought. You run to your room to slip a t-shirt and shorts on so you can join him, you can indulge him in conversation at least.
“Hey, I was going to get a snack,” You open the sliding door and he looks back at you as he exhales a a cloud, “are you hungry?”
“I’m okay,” He puts it out in the ashtray, “thanks,” 
“You didn’t have to put it out for me,” You step onto the patio and close the door behind you.
“I was done anyway,” He says that but he clearly wasn’t, he’s just being sweet, “how was your shower?”
“Good,” You sit beside him, “you can go ahead and shower if you want to, you know where your clothes are.”
“I will in a minute,” He looks out, enjoying the view of the city, “it’s beautiful out here...”
“Yeah,” You smile, reminiscing on the many moments you two have shared together on the balcony.
“So,” Jungkook sighs, probably reminiscing on the same thing, “do you want to do that exercise?...”
“Exercise?- Oh, the eye-contact thing, we can...” You turn to him and he does the same, “so, do we-”
“Shh,” He holds a finger to his lips, “we’re not supposed to talk,” 
You swallow, eyes locked on his and his on yours. His eyes are so dreamy and mesmerizing, they always have been. This eye-contact is giving you a great excuse to analyze his face. The little mole under his lip, his cute nose and cheeks—you’re trying not to look at his body but it’s hard to do that right now. 
He’s doing the same thing to you. Your eyes, nose, lips, he’s just taking it all in as if your a sculpture at a museum. Looking at each other like this reminds you both to see each other, to really see the human you both decided to love.
“Jungkook,” You know you’re not supposed to talk, “don’t cry...” You thumb the tears away from his cheeks, your motherly habits kicking in.
“Shit,” He wipes his cheeks, “I don’t know why I’m crying, I just-...I really love you, like, just staring at you really fucks me up.” He’s so emotional, it’s more endearing than anything.
You cup his jaw and kiss the apple of his cheek, then his lips. His hands are almost shaky when he reaches up to hold your face, you lead his hand to your face to let him know that you don’t mind.
“I love you too,” You breath, your head in the nape of his neck, “but I can’t do this, I shouldn’t...”
Once you realize you’re no longer in your own chair but in his, it’s too late to pretend you’re not equally as desperate. It escalates and the best and worst happens. 
169 notes · View notes
redinkrain · 3 years
Text
Come home.
3.
For a second, Abigael stayed still like a marble statue while Mel’s arms took place around her neck and sobs started to make themselves heard. Unsure of how to be a good friend, the hybrid delicately placed her own arms around the Charmed One’s waist. Posing her chin on top of the Latina’s head, she tightened her embrace and spoke with a gentle voice.
“Let it all go, Love.” Closing her eyes and inhaling a scent that she deeply missed during those few months. “It’s okay. You’re safe.”
The British Lady then stroked the witch’s back slowly, up and down, with the tip of her fingers. And Mel cried, cried for minutes, hours maybe. None of the two women were putting their attention on the time passing by. The Vera sister calmed down eventually with the soothing movement of Abby’s hand anchoring her. She took a deep breath and without letting go of Abigael’s neck, she looked into those hazel eyes that haunted her some nights. Most nights, when sleep did came. That damn expression tracing the woman’s gaze. That fucking same expression that always left Mel with the wish to be wholly swallowed. So much words unspoken. But the witch exhausted couldn’t brought herself to have this conversation with the half-demon half-witch, not right now.
Abigael used one of her hand and brought it up to the Latina’s cheek, wiping some tears that kept escaping the witch’s eyes. Mel leaned into her touch but her eyes stayed glued to her guest’s ones.
“I didn’t even say “hi”.” The witch whispered with a smile.
“Good evening, Love.” The woman answered with a small smile of her own and with that accent Mel liked so much.
Mel couldn’t stopped herself and so she put her friend in a new embrace, but this time, she hugged her tighter. Abigael responded to this act of affection with as much will and tenderness. Listening to the beating heart of the hybrid, Mel felt a tiny bit better. In her head and in her heart at list, because her legs? Well, it seemed that her two legs had her own agenda. The witch almost fell but Abby firmly kept a grip on her. She helped the Vera sister to sit back.
“You should rest, Mel. You’re exhausted. Have you eat anything today?” the hybrid asked, worries clear in her tone.
“No.” The Latina simply answered.
“Then rest here. I will go out and buy something for you to eat.”
The half-demon half-witch turned around and was about to leave when fingers gripped at her wrist.
“Wait!” Mel stated. “Can you stay a bit longer? We can grab something to eat on our way home, right?”
Home, what a strange choice of word Abby thought. She never had a home. Not really. What was a home anyway? Was it the same thing for everyone? Or did its definition changed depending on who you were asking? But then Waverly’s voice resonated in her mind “You do love her”. And Abby wondered: what if a home wasn’t a place, what if home and love were just parts of the same coin?
She gazed at Mel, and got down on one knee so the witch didn’t have to look up.
“Allow me to at least bring you something to drink. Tea maybe?” The British Lady asked.
Melanie’s eyes softened even more at that sentence.
“A tea would be great. Thank you.” She smiled at her guest.
“I’ll be back shortly.” Abby said while standing up.
She disappeared in a dark smoke before coming back five minutes later with a cup of tea. The hybrid gave it to the witch. Then, she went to take a stool and placed it in front of Mel. She sat on it and observed the Latina who was sipping her tea.
“So… Why are you here?” The Vera sister questioned quietly.
“Well, because your sister called me and silently asked for assistance regarding your current hunt on demons!” The ex-Demon Overlord said with a little scowl to make a point then it disappeared. “But honestly Melanie, I was worried about you and it was just the perfect excuse to come and do my best to help you in anyway I can… If you want of course.” She continued a little worried about Mel’s reaction.
“I’m sorry Abby…” The witch whispered.
“Why would you be sorry?” Now the hybrid was confused.
“Sorry for not texting you back, for not telling you about what happened. You deserve better than that.” The Latina looked away.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she kept her tone light with maybe a little bit of… hurt?
“I-, I don’t know Abby. I guess I-…” Mel was looking for the right words, but she wasn’t even sure to know what she wanted to say.
“You do not have to answer if you don’t want to.” The British Lady tried to be supportive of her friend.
“It’s just, I guess that seeing to pictures of you with your niece, reading your texts. I felt your happiness and I didn’t want to bother you with my pain.” She blurted out looking at the concrete floor.
Abigael took one of her hand and placed it between hers, tugging a little, sign for the Charmed One to look at her.
“Look at me, Mel.” That damn tenderness enveloping her voice again. “You will never trouble me with your sorrow. What you gave me... I will never be able to repay you. That happiness you mentioned? I am learning what it means, what if feels like and… Truthfully you are a part of its meaning. So, I want to be here for you, but only if you’ll have me…?”
The witch was speechless hearing this confession from the half-demon half-witch, but then again, it wasn’t the first time Abigael was being honest about what she was feeling for her.
“I’ve missed you…” she simply whispered.
The British Lady kept her mouth shut, knowing her friend had more to say, but the corner of her mouth curled in a smile. Her hands continued to envelop Mel’s one.
“Abby, I feel like I’ve lost a part of myself since she’s gone. And I know it’s stupid because present me is her past. But I can’t stop thinking of the future. What if changing the present will affect her in the future like you know... she won’t even exist…?” Tears started to flow again, and a river of it made its way on the Charmed One’s cheeks.
“Nothing of what you feel is stupid, Mel. You gave birth to your child, present or future, Eva was, is and always will be your daughter. She’s gone, Love, not lost. You said “goodbye”, not “farewell”. You will see her when the time is right. And of course, changing the present will affect her, but not the way you are thinking.” Abby posed. “Mel, you gave her everything she needed, providing her with security and healthiness. Her future will be bright, and if there is any shadow to come on her path? I have no doubt nor worry that you will be there to protect her once again. You have been an incredible mother to her in a past that she won’t remember and you will be, as I said, a fantastic mother in the future.” The hybrid finished her sentence with so much conviction that the Latina couldn’t disagree with her.
They stared at each other once more, and again Abby wiped away the tears that were still on the Vera sister’s cheek. Something in Mel’s heart burnt at the way Abby was acting right now. She thought about the half witch’s lips, about the taste of her tongue, and all she wanted to do was to lean in and kiss her. When she was about to do exactly just that, Abigael cleared her throat.
“Shall I take you home?” the hybrid questioned gently.
Melanie observed Abby’s eyes, then lowered her gazed to her lips, then her eyes again. A little smirk marked the half demon’s lips. Even though all she wanted to do was to erase this smirk from Abigael with her own lips, the Charmed One stood up straight. Her hand preciously locked up between the British Lady’s ones.
“Yes, please.” looking down at Abby, who was searching something in the witch’s eyes.
Abigael raised in one smooth movement and helped out Mel to do the same. They were so close that their nose almost touched the other's face. Their eyes locked and their lips were about to connect when Mel’s stomach growled.
Abby laughed at the sound, and placed a kiss on her friend’s forehead.
“Come on now Miss Walking Stomach, I think you need to be fed.” the hybrid said giddily.
Mel rolled her eyes at that nickname, and had to hide her smile while Abby turned around. They walked to the stairs and took the direction of the Vera-Vaughn-Greenwood’s Manor, hand in hand without even realizing it...
65 notes · View notes
peachsayshi · 3 years
Text
Chapter 10 - Intimate (2)
Tags: Friends with Benefits, Angst, Fluff 
Summary: Gojo uses you to relieve some of his stress after his little argument with your best friend, and poses a question that catches you off guard.
A/N: this chapter was a bit difficult for me to write and I think it's because it turned out to be sort of a filler chapter! Also, please excuse any errors - I am definitely posting this half asleep lol! but I am really excited to share the upcoming ones! I initially said that this was going to be 25 chapters but I outlined the rest of the story and there will be more! Hehe I do plan on doing the few extra one-shots in the end, so I hope you enjoy.
- - - 
“Tell me you’re mine…”  
You blushed at the thought of Satoru’s words, painfully aware of the knot that tightened in the pit of your stomach which then tugged at your lungs, slowing your breath. You reached for the seasoning packets, ripping open the colored wrappers to prepare the ramen broth. You watched as tiny circles began to form from the bottom of the metal pot, bubbling it’s way to the surface. You could hear the shower still running from your bathroom, a bit relieved that Gojo was taking his time because you wanted to bask in the few precious minutes you had to yourself to try and quieten your racing thoughts.
You couldn’t focus on the task of preparing dinner because the word “mine” slipping from Gojo’s lips in a feverish claim was playing on a loop in your head. The way his tone darkened with urgency when he held his body close to yours sent goosebumps to run up your arms. You couldn’t figure out where the possessive streak came from or why he felt the need to assert his dominance over an act that should not have been as intimate as it felt. You folded your arms over your chest, subconsciously pinching your skin as you tried to ignore the way your heart skipped a beat.
There was a difference when you made your own personal comparisons in the safety of your mind versus Gojo bringing it up in the bedroom. Somehow admitting your confession to him made you feel vulnerable and his reaction didn’t make it any  better, appearing to be competitive about the entire situation.
That doesn’t make any sense, why would he care? you wondered.
You never actually paid attention to how Gojo felt about your ex-boyfriend. For the most part he’s always been nice to him. Although the two of them weren’t the closest of friends, they seemed to get along whenever you all hung out together. You never would have anticipated that Gojo would be…
Jealous of him ?
That he would resent him?
Honestly, you didn’t even have an explanation for what it could possibly mean.
“ Pay attention…”
Gojo’s voice startled you, you didn’t even realise he was standing right behind you until you noticed him reach his arm forward to reduce the flame, stopping the water from bubbling over the pot.
“Whoops! Lost my train of thought for a second...” you lied, refusing to look in his direction in the hopes that he wouldn’t catch you blushing.
“That’s a safety hazard, you know?” he teased, still standing dangerously close behind you as he reached for the dry noodles himself and placed them into the pot. “You need sharp eyes when cooking otherwise you’ll end up having an unnecessary accident.”
A nervous chuckle escaped you as you circled to face him. Gojo had borrowed one of your black silk scarves, using it as a makeshift blindfold since his own was now tumbled between your bedsheets on the floor. You could smell your coconut and hibiscus body wash off him, the scent combining with the residual cologne on his clothes. An easy smile spread across that handsome face, his relaxed demeanor contrasting the state he was in when he first knocked on your door.
He’s your friend, you reminded yourself. What happens in the bedroom doesn’t mean anything…  
It shouldn’t mean anything.  
“Whatever you say, sensei ...” you chirped, burying your wayward thoughts. “Why don’t you grab those mats and I’ll bring these over to the table”
You assembled the two bowls, adding a little extra broth for Gojo because you knew he preferred it that way. Meanwhile, he had placed the two mats on the opposite side of the dining table, taking care not to disturb your work set up.
“Here you go,” you said, as you slid the bowl in front of him while he took his seat.
“Thank you!”
At first you both sat in silence, Gojo was responding to a few unanswered text messages but you were studying him with curious eyes, waiting for him to give you an explanation for his sudden visit.
“ Sooo, you want to tell me what that was all about?” you asked.
“That being?”
You waved your chopsticks in the direction of your bedroom, raising your brow before replying, “That being the sequence of events that just transpired…”
“ Stress relief ...” Gojo explained in between bites as he casually tucked his phone back into his pocket.
You thrummed your fingers against the warm bowl in your hands, fidgeting with the chopsticks in the other.  “Well, I’m glad I could help you unwind, I guess...”
He flashed you a wicked grin, “Me too, because I need a repeat of the show...”
“I can’t look at you when you say that,” you remarked, focusing your attention onto the noodles and growing shy at his comment.
“Am I embarrassing you?”
“A little…”
“I don’t understand why, that was fucking hot ...”
Your face burned, the heat radiating all the way to the back of your neck from his words. You cleared your throat as you rolled your eyes at him, desperately trying to brush off his statement in a cool manner. You could feel the knot in your stomach, the thoughts you were having crept back into your mind as you tried to hush them away.
You decided to shift the conversation away from the bedroom and back to Gojo instead. If he wasn’t so flustered by his own emotions, you might have accepted his excuse of needing to relieve stress but you knew there was more to the story.
“Did something happen at work?” you questioned.
Gojo chuckled to himself, “It’s funny how you won’t even acknowledge my compliment... ”
“Are you really going to make me pry a proper answer out of you?” you huffed, and he could hear your annoyance in your tone.
Gojo wished that he didn’t have to get into this particular part of the conversation with you, knowing full well how it was going to bring down the mood.
“No, nothing happened at work,” he said with a sigh, “I was with Rina. She asked me to stop by her shop…”
You knitted your brows in confusion, “That’s kind of random.”
Gojo nodded his head, “I thought so too. She initially told me that she wanted to get my opinion on some new items she was dropping for her menu. Turns out I was only there because she wanted to know how long you and I have been sleeping together for…”
You choked at his statement, his nonchalant words nearly going over your head.
Gojo kept eating, unphased by your reaction. “Need some water?”
“Y-yes…no, ugh, nevermind …she asked you how …”
“ How long you and I have been fucking… ” Gojo replied, flicking his index finger back between you both to fully clarify his statement.
The knot in your stomach cinched, a wave of nausea swirling in your gut as you placed your chopsticks down.
“How... how did she even find out? ” you whispered to yourself as you slumped against the back of your chair.
“She saw us at the park.”
“ Oh .”
You and Rina have both had your fair share of arguments before but sometimes when her emotions got the better of her, Rina’s outbursts often came with her sharp tongue. Over the years you had to explain to her that her words carried more weight than she thought, and in turn she became more conscious around you. However it suddenly dawned on you that Gojo might have been on the receiving end of Rina’s unfiltered anger.
You covered your face with your hands, groaning with frustration. “What did she say?”
“ Hmm ?”
“What did Rina say to you?”
Gojo shrugged his shoulders, “don’t worry about what she said to me. I know she didn’t mean anything by it...”
“But you were upset when you got here…”
“Let’s clarify something, Rina was upset because she was hurt. I was just annoyed by the situation. There’s a difference...”
You wished he would take your conversation a little more seriously and not brush it off with such ease but sighed knowing full well that Gojo wasn’t going to tell you what exactly happened which meant that Rina must have said something deliberately hurtful towards him.
“ I’m sorry… ”
“Why are you apologizing?”
You picked up your utensils, “For dragging you into this unnecessary drama I started. I should have just told Rina what was going on between us…”
Gojo paused after slurping a noodle, “well, why didn’t you tell her?”
“She’s been overprotective recently… ” you explained, not wanting to get into the details that the reason was purely based on your break up and how terrible you have been about getting over it. “I knew that if I told her about our arrangement she would analyze me to death over it and I didn’t want to deal with that…”
“Fair point,” Gojo acknowledged with a hum.
His short responses unsettled you, and you found yourself overcompensating to make up for it. “I’ll talk to her and smooth things over and I’ll make sure she apologizes for whatever it is that she said to you. She shouldn’t take her frustration out on you just because she was upset with me...”
Gojo nodded his head but you could clearly sense that he was not in the mood for any serious conversations right now. Taking himself out of this particular topic, Gojo quickly changed the subject after you made your last statement.
He kept the rest of the chat lighthearted, distracting your worries by telling you little anecdotes he had about his co-worker, Nanami. You suddenly found yourself giggling when Gojo revealed that he practically stalked Nanami for an entire day just so he could force the man to hang out him.
“I feel bad for the poor guy, you completely terrorize him,” you stated, clearing the table once you were both done eating.
You made your way over back to your kitchen where you rinsed off the bowls before placing it in the dishwasher. “You’re free to hang out if you want,” you offered, noticing Gojo get himself together as he was preparing to leave.
“I think I distracted you enough for tonight,” he replied.
You walked him to the door, following in line with his long strides. Just as he was about to reach the handle of your front door, he stopped before turning to face you.
“You don’t owe anyone an explanation about what is going on between us,” he stated, his voice low and serious.
You blinked a couple of times in surprise before parting your lips to respond, “I know I don't owe anyone an explanation but I know what Rina’s feeling and the only way I can see myself fixing this problem is by telling her everything. We never keep secrets from each other and I would probably be equally as hurt if she chose to hide something from me too... ”
Gojo pressed his lips together, navigating the words floating in his mind before reaching his hand out to touch your fingers.
“I get it but I just…”
“ Just ?...”
He exhaled, “I don’t want you overthinking anything between us, okay?”
“Don’t worry, even though we are terrible at sticking to our own rules, I am fully aware of where we both stand…”
You notice the relief wash over Gojo’s face as he slips his fingers away from your touch, “Good, because I like what we are doing.”
“I-I like it too…” you replied almost instantly, your heart racing at your own admittance.
The sorcerer left you a bundle of nerves when he said his goodbye. The knot in your stomach made its presence known, twining itself around your insides as you couldn’t escape this foreign emotion that seemed to have infiltrated your body.
*** 
CHAPTER 11 - FRIENDS
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