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aphrogeneias · 2 months

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𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐰 — 𝒂 𝒔𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒅𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

summary: during a quiet afternoon, you and eddie discuss (hypothetical) wedding songs.

author's note: it feels right to repost this the day before valentine's. i hope you all have, or someday find, a love that makes you feel the same way i do when i listen to the song referenced in this story <3

"Have you ever thought about what song you're gonna want to play at your wedding?"

You were both sitting at the old brown couch of the Munson's front porch, the afternoon breeze blowing through the unusually quiet Trailer Park. There were no dogs barking, no kids running, no yelling coming from a neighbor's trailer. Only the sun, the late autumn chill, and the gentle breeze.

Eddie was lying down, his head on top of your crossed legs as you played with his hair. Your question caught him off-guard, looking up at you with raised eyebrows.

"You mean at our wedding?"

He could tell you were flustered by the way you hesitated to answer, brows furrowing, trying to disguise it. The urge to lift himself up and give you a smacking kiss on the forehead was temporarily buried inside, waiting to hear what you had to say. "I don't know. Like, a hypothetical wedding. With a hypothetical bride."

His answer was earnest, though.

"The only bride that's ever come to mind is you, babe."

"Just answer the damn question!" You exclaimed, rising both of your hands in the air.

"I just told you I don't know! I've never thought about getting hitched, never mind what song I'd want to play at the ceremony."

This bit was earnest as well. Eddie had never, in his twenty years, thought about getting married. His parents' disaster of a relationship made sure that he'd never seen marriage as something healthy, let alone an option. There were also his beliefs that marriage was a failed institution made to subjugate people, and that the church and the state shouldn't have a say in people's relationships.

Eddie thought he'd be like Wayne and live his life without a partner, just go through with it by himself. It was much less complicated, even if lonely.

He was seldom lonely now, with you in his life — and though you were way too early in your relationship, or too young and inexperienced, to think about marriage, if he was to think about it, it would be with you. Every one of his other thoughts ran to you, this one would be no different.

"Not the ceremony. A first dance kind of song, you know?"

He considered a few options for a moment, in silence, but he was still curious to know what you were thinking. "If you're asking me that question, that means that you already know yours, don't you?"

"You don't know that. I'm just asking." You shrugged, lowering your voice, suddenly vulnerable. "Forget what I said."

"Sweetheart…" Eddie laid fully on his back, looking up at you. "Tell me what's the song."

Narrowing your eyes at him from above, you grabbed his chin, squishing his lips for a second. "You're gonna laugh at me."

"When have I ever…" Remembering all the times, in the early days of your blossoming friendship, where he followed you around the record store with the sole purpose of laughing at your music choices, he stopped, scoffing at himself. "Don't answer that."

Gently, you pushed him off of you and stood up, silently going into the house.

"Just tell me! Now I want to know." Eddie protested as he followed you inside.

He watched as you went into his room, bent down at the waist — and what a view that was, he thought to himself, not trusting to make a lewd comment to distract you from the moment — and quickly looked through his records, finally pulling one from the crate.

Trying to think of what it could be, because he had no idea what song in his large collection of tapes and long plays could possibly be enough of your taste to be played at your (hypothetical) wedding. When he saw it, though, it clicked.

It was a copy of The Beatles' "Revolver". His only copy of an album by your favorite band. You had gifted it to him after he told you he found the experimentation, and all the drug references, in it "badass". He really did, and he was happy to own it as long as it made you happy.

Still silent, you put it in the record player above his dresser, and selected a track without looking at the listing in the back cover, most likely commiting each one of them to memory. His heart swelled as he watched you turn around, shifting your weight from one foot to the other, struggling to meet his eyes as the song started.

"To lead a better life

I need my love to be here…"

Paul McCartney's voice and the two-voice harmony that accompanied him was the only thing that could be heard in his bedroom for a moment, until you started explaining yourself.

"When I was younger, sometimes… Actually, I still do that…" you started, "I listen to this song when I'm alone, and I feel like swaying to it. Like I'm slow dancing with someone, you know? Two steps to the left, two steps to the right." You did a little dancing motion, lightening up the mood. "It's the perfect song to dance to, but I'd never had a partner to dance with me. So I'd dream about it, about the day I'd have someone who'd love me enough to dance with me."

Your sad smile broke his heart, but what put it together was knowing he could be the one to dance with you.

"It's such a simple song, really. Just a guitar and the vocal harmonies, but it's… it's beautiful. Makes me feel like I'm floating, or something." You continued.

Eddie approached you, then, pulling you forward by both of your hands and making you stand flush to his chest, where he held you by the waist with one arm, the other raising to hold the hand that wasn't resting on his shoulder.

"I'm not much of a dancer, but I'll dance to any song you want to."

It was a murmur, a promise whispered by his lips touching your hairline. You chuckled, your head resting on his collarbone, and began swaying the two of you just as you said before. Two steps to the left, two to the right.

Eddie added his own flair, spinning you around, and it was worth it just to see the you giggled. The song wasn't long, a little over two minutes long, but it was long enough to trap you in your little world, your hypothetical wedding dance, in his very real, very messy bedroom.

"So… is that our wedding song?" He teased, still holding you, after it was over.

You slapped his arm lightly, but he could feel you smiling against the soft fabric of his t-shirt. "It could be."

"I like it, baby."

Then, you look up, wrapping your arms around his lean waist. "Really?"

"I like whatever makes you feel like you're floating."

"Do you wanna know what else makes me feel like that?"

"Weed?"

"You."

At that moment, Eddie still knew he didn't want the church or the state to be involved in your relationship, but he wouldn't mind throwing a party just to make the most beautiful girl in the world float around the room for one night.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fanfic

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btc-official · 14 days

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finally memorized how to spell restaraunt so ive moved on to level 2 brain exercises like imagining hypothetical beatles members. Wilbur. Patrick. Ringo 2. the possibilities are endless

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m1ssunderstanding · 28 days

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Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 4.2

Having Paul talking about following his artistic muse and deciding not to care what other people think paired with the insanity of McCartney 2 is fantastic.

I sincerely hope those 20K words that Paul wrote for his posterity about his time in jail are published some day.

He looks so pretty in this interview!

John and Sean are so cute!

“Nobody Knows” is about secretly hooking up with John, obviously. But “that includes you, honey!” Is that at Linda?? Don't do that to your mother, Paul.

The only scenario in which I support a hypothetical JP sexual/romantic relationship in the 70s is that hypothetically no wives were harmed in the making of this hypothetical.

Not the cut from “Coming Up” to “Probably the thing that John and I will do . . .” to John's self interview about bisexuality and Paul and life begins at forty back to Coming Up interspersed with footage of happy JP to John getting out a guitar to record a demo!

And the demo is (Just Like) Starting Over. Just bury me already.

Another lyrical reference I didn't catch in the demo version: “it's easy.” Sung very similarly to how he sang it in All You Need is Love.

John comparing them to brothers (Everly) and a marriage (Goffin and King) in the same sentence. And he's right, too.

I love the interviewer being so skeptical of John and how dismissive he is of Paul in this interview and how he can't get his story straight on when the last time he'd seen Paul was. More women should've interviewed him.

How I imagine it went. Interviewer: hi John are you ready to -- John: did you know I never think about Paul anymore unless somebody brings him up? Interviewer: but I didn't – John: yeah he used to show up at my door with a guitar and I told him to go away. Interviewer: ooookaaay?

Cutie! I love John so much.

“If I was dead, they wouldn't be angry with me. If I'd conveniently died in the mid seventies after Rock and Roll album or Walls and Bridges (((everybody loves you when you're six feet in the ground))), they'd all be writing this worshipful stuff about what a great guy.” It hurts to hear and it hurts that he was exactly right.

I don't care what John and Yoko say, manifesting is just another capitalist lie to keep the proletariat complacent.

“The only one who can control me is me and that's just barely possible.” It's one of those John quotes that's so silly and cute and also entirely relatable. He really had a way of capturing the human condition.

“Nobody ever said anything about Paul having a spell over me when I was with him for a long time! Or me having a spell over Paul! They didn't think that was abnormal, two guys together.” Yeah, John, they definitely did and they made fun of it and tried to poke holes in it, or have you forgotten?

“Or four guys together.” Yeah. George and Ringo were in the Beatles too.

“In those days? Why didn't anybody ever say ‘How come those guys don't split up?” You're joking, right John?

The video/audio pairing here though! You mean ‘what's going on under the table?’

Love John getting pissed that nobody asked him, “What is that Paul and John business?” RIP John, you would've loved Beatles Tumblr.

#paul mccartney #the beatles #john lennon #mclennon #ulm #understanding lennon mccartney

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beatleskinkmeme · 2 months

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In 1971, Andrew Lloyd Weber casts John and Yoko in Jesus Christ Superstar as Jesus and Mary to cash in on the controversy. He doesn't tell them that he's already cast Paul as Judas (who would much rather play the sillier and more musical hall-y King Herod, but as Judas he gets to do the opening number with his Rickenbacker, so). For a film tackling such holy subject matter, production is absolutely hellish. And then paps catch our Judas in supplication to Mr. More Popular Than Jesus in his trailer. If the film and this hypothetical casting weren't already controversial enough, just what would the public make of the salacious headlines about two ex-Beatles reconciling unexpectedly?

#prompts #1970s #au #mclennon #john and paul #john #paul #yoko

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bestblacksister · 17 days

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Introduction Post

I saw Cissy do this and anything she can do, I can do better 🖤

About ✨me✨

26 (I'm NOT old), proud Slytherin 🐍, eldest (prettiest, most talented, and best) daughter of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, avid follower of You-Know-Who 🙌 (but for legal purposes, it's just hypothetically, all in my head), unhinged, feminist, goddess in flesh and bone (I'm literally named after a star ⭐ and Bella means beautiful 💅🏻), I like beatles 🪲 (the insect, not a muggle band)

Fellow witches and wizards on this thing:

@narcissasupremacy - Narcissa Black, my beloved sister Cissy (we have another one but she's problematic), only one named after a flower rather than a star/constellation 💫

@are-you-siriius - Sirius Black, our ex-cousin (he was disinherited... embarrassing 🥱), Gryffindor blood traitor (ofc this wouldn't have happened had he been sorted into Slytherin)

@reallyregulus - Regulus Black, the better cousin (Slytherin) and new Black heir (I'd be a best fit, as I'm the oldest and wisest. Sadly, only men get to hold that title 😒)

@severely-severus-snape - Severus Snape, a fellow Slytherin, friends with my sister (in love with a mudblood 💀)

@justtjames - James Potter, Gryffindor blood traitor (corrupted my cousin, the bastard 😡 Corrupt Reggie and I swear to Merlin Potter-)

@actuallylupin - Remus Lupin, Gryffindor half-blood dating my ex-cousin (why?), according to Severus - a werewolf 🐺 (?)

@peterpeterpumpkinpeter - Peter Pettigrew, the less loud Gryffindor (who apparently likes pumpkins? What's with that name? 🤨Moving on...)

@ritaskeeteroffical - The gorgeous and talented, one and only, Rita Skeeter 👑 (I'm a big fan of yours, let's have a chat? 😘)

@evan-at-deaths-doorstep - Evan Rosier, Slytherin, I'm pretty sure we're related... 🤔

@italianbartycrouchjr - Bartemius Crouch Junior, Slytherin, better than his father (is he dating Evan? I'll have to ask Rita for the gossip), somewhat psychotic but that's part of his charm

@pandorahaspropheticvisions - Pandora Rosier, also considered crazy - we're likely related (Why don't you join my... club? Those visions would surely come in handy 👀)

@dorcas-in-a-meadow - Dorcas Meadowes, girlboss energy, has potential (let's chat)

@marlesbiane-mckinnon - Marlene Mckinnon, feisty Gryffindor, possibly a mudblood (?), dating Meadowes

@lily-evans-loves-nature - Lily Evans, Gryffindor mudblood 🤢

@marymaccies - Mary MacDonald, another Gryffindor mudblood 🤢 (and dating the previous one)

@alice-loves-herbology - Alice Fortescue, stole my sister (break her heart, I'll break your legs, arms, skull, soul...), but at least her family has great ice cream 🍦 (I scream, you scream, we all scream for the Dark Lord 🙏)

@totallyteddytonks - Theodore Tonks, the mudblood that my sister Andromeda seems to like 🤢

Disclaimer: this is for roleplay purposes only, the user does not agree with the character's views and morals. Don't take anything at face value. If you want to join the roleplay, DM @jaylienpotter

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hellcatsandcars · 6 months

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let's theorise, for argument's sake, that one were to be interested in. i don't know. beatles lore, let's say. how would one (hypothetically!) go about getting more knowledge. asking for a friend. for science, even.

#the beatles #mclennon #paul mccartney #john lennon #ringo starr #george harrison

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pleasantlyinsincere · 6 months

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Paul: "John wanted us to buy the film rights to Lord Of The Rings. It was very much his idea. We talked about it for quite a while, but then I started to smell a bit of a carve-up, because immediately John wanted to be Bilbo... wanted the lead. And it started to be kinda- "ooh dear, wait a minute." But things start to become difficult when somebody has taken the lead without consulting the others, and then second lead goes, and so you suddenly end up with 'Zeppo.' The strength of the other films which we made is that we're all equal. I'm not sure what the problem was, but I think that Tolkein's estate who control Lord Of The Rings wouldn't sell us the movie rights, or maybe they'd already sold them to somebody else. The rest of he stuff we did as Beatles was more or less documentary... us playing ourselves. In retrospect, I wouldn't have minded playing a fictitious role... probaby quite liked it. The only things I would be quite interested in is not playing myself. I really don't like the idea of playing myself. I did that in Give My Regards To Broadstreet, and I realized afterwards that it wasn't much fun.... I like the idea of character roles. Something a million miles from myself." From The Beatles at the movies by Roy Carr, 1996

@mydaroga That's the Paul quote I was thinking of. But it's just from the internet, I don't have the book to check. Carr is then the one to come up with the hypothetical Paul Frodo, Ringo Sam, George Gandalf and John Gollum casting. I don't know why. John saying he might have played Frodo, I remember from an audio. I haven't a clue how to look for it.

#ooh dear wait a minute 😂#paul's john paranoia shining through

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asurrogateblog · 1 month

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I want to get opinions from my coworkers on the hypothetical question "how long after attempting to kill someone does it still count as murder if they die of related complications?" but the problem is that if I ask them this then they'll ask me what made me think of the question and I'll have to tell them it's because I'm trying to figure out what percent of the beatles technically died by homicide

#reading george harrison's wikipedia article like wait wtf #that being said. george is so secure in his spirituality that i'm not even sure if he qualifies as being dead #george harrison #<- people invested enough to check this tag i need your thoughts on the subject

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no-reply95 · 2 years

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Beatle Hypotheticals #59

You are the Emperor of the Universe. With your powers to bend time and space you can make a Beatle era last longer or shorter than it did in reality.

If you could make one of the following Beatle eras last longer or shorter, which one of the following eras would you choose and why?

Hamburg/Cavern Club era Beatles (1959-1962)

Moptop era Beatles (1963-1965)

Swinging London Dandies era Beatles (1966-1967)

Drugs, Divorce and Slipping Image era Beatles (1968-1969)

#the beatles #john lennon #paul mccartney #george harrison #ringo starr #beatle hypotheticals

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 2 months

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So, I weirdly haven’t written enough about this on this blog so far, given what a big thing it is for me – I’m going to the fucking UK this summer. For real this time. For real. Here is a post about it.

I first posted on this blog about wanting to go to the UK in early 2021, I think. I remember making posts about how maybe once the vaccines were finally released, and I was all vaccinated, travel would be safe, and I could go for a little while before I start my college courses again. That didn’t happen for quite a few reasons.

I spent much of 2021 planning a hypothetical trip, knowing it probably couldn’t really happen, because obviously things like this don’t really happen, but I needed something to fantasize about in the depths of lockdown. It’s odd that a global pandemic made me interested in international travel for the first time. Pre-COVID, my life was so full of a single sport that I didn’t really have time to think about anything else as a hobby. I was on the road most weekends, but that road was the 401, driving off to the same few cities anywhere from two to twelve hours away, to sleep in a cheap hotel or on someone’s gym floor and then shout at teenagers at day and immediately drive home. Every once in a while we’d go to a tournament in the States, which counted as exciting international travel. The idea of actually seeing places that are not in or near the border with my country just hadn’t occurred to me.

Then the world ended, I fell deep into the Britcom rabbit hole, all that stuff. And in 2021, I got really into 1) memorizing how to label all the countries and major cities in the world, and all the counties or other regional areas in the UK and Ireland, on a blank map, because I’d learned that the larger world existed and I wanted to be clear about where it all is, and 2) going through places I’ve never been on Google Earth, usually while listening to audio comedy. I also took to looking up things to do in the UK on Trip Advisor, mapping the route on Google Maps and following it on Google Earth, knowing this was all for a hypothetical fantasy trip but still researching things like train fares and schedules because it was more fun if it felt like it could be real.

I’m fascinated by the idea of places that are Different From Here being actual real physical places where people could actually go. Which is especially weird in this case because I actually have been to the UK. I have a godmother there, whom I’ve met in person three times, twice when she’s come to Canada and once when for my sixteenth birthday she paid for my mother and I to go to England for a week. We stayed at her place in London, did all the tourist-y things, also spent a day in some spot in Somerset but I’m fuzzy on where or why, it was 2006. My clearest memory of the week is seeing Spamalot on St. Patrick’s Day and thinking it was the coolest thing ever. I’ve also got fairly clear memories of climbing stairs at St. Paul’s Cathedral, thinking Westminster Abbey was the most beautiful building I’d ever seen, and seeing some extremely cool stuff at the British Library including some original handwritten Beatles lyrics. And I remember the tube and being impressed that the cars really do have driver doors on the wrong side, that’s not just a thing they made up on Fawlty Towers.

Still, it was so long ago, and it was such a short time compared to the amount of time that I’ve spent watching Britian on TV, that it does feel a bit like Britain is a fictional place that exists on TV. Obviously I realize that’s a very ignorant North American thing for me to say, and in my defense I think I know a hell of a lot more about Britain than the average ignorant North American. I can label all the regions in England, Scotland, Ireland, and Wales in under five minutes. But I’ve got to admit, on a visceral level, learning all that stuff does feel a bit like memorizing lore in a fantasy novel.

There is kind of an appeal in the idea that… okay, the last time I was this obsessed with something besides a sport in which I actually participated, I was a kid in the Harry Potter fandom. I was a kid who read a lot of books, and a lot of my favourites happened to be British fantasy or sci-fi novels (Harry Potter, CS Lewis, Tolkein, His Dark Materials, Douglas Adams), but Harry Potter was the one that took over my life from the ages of about ten to fourteen. You classic situation of – didn’t have friends in real life, all my social interaction came from Harry Potter message boards, a vast chunk of my free time dedicated to reading every passage of the books over and over and over and analyzing them and writing things about them and I made some friends on the internet who loved Luna Lovegood as much as I did. Then I got to high school and started wrestling and made some friends in real life and slowly moved away from online fandom, didn’t do anything except that for fifteen years, then the world ended, I came back and found a new online fandom that was also British but had less magic and more panel shows, then the author turned out to be a terrible person and ruined my childhood.

Anyway. The point is that I remember when I was a kid, obviously I spent ages fantasizing about being able to actually go to all those places in Harry Potter. But I couldn’t, because those are not real places. Well, my new foray into fandom also feels a bit like that – like this fictional thing I’ve got obsessed with that no one around me knows anything about but some people on the internet are into it. Except that this time, the place where all these things happen is actually a real place, and I can pay money to go there. This concept remains amazing to me.

So I mapped out the idea of this trip a couple of years ago, and for a long time, it stayed in a limbo between fantasy and genuine possibility. I did actually start working out budgets and putting money aside for it, but all the while thinking this won’t actually work. I was starting to do things post-lockdown again, the sense that we were all locked down so nothing is real so I may as well engaged in some escapism and plan some fantasy trips – that started to give way to regular life, and in regular life, I’m not a person who does shit like that. I can’t just fly across the ocean to see a fictional place. I still had it vaguely in my head that maybe someday I’d like to, but I stopped actively planning anything.

But at the same time, the whole concept of Britain was starting to feel a bit less fictional (I’m… I’m feeling the need to clarify, again, that this is just a sort of emotional automatic response to put “the place where Britcom happens” in the “fictional” category in my brain… I did not at any point genuinely think the United Kingdom was fictional… especially since I’ve been there before). I do remember the first time I got physical, tangible proof that the people in the fictional Britcom world are real, when Russell Howard came to my city in March 2022 (my then-girlfriend got us tickets because she knew I liked British comedians, she was excited about it so I didn’t tell her that actually I’m mad at him for the Jordan Peterson apologism so don’t want to go, it’s not something I’d have chosen myself but it was a thoughtful gift and to be fair an extremely fun night), and I could not get over the idea that the man from the fictional place was here in real life displacing air like he’s a real human being and actually all of it is physically real. Over the next few months I did an 8.5-hour drive to New York City to see Nish Kumar, and then two months later a 2-hour drive to see him do the same show in Montreal, because it was that fucking great a show. I also saw James Acaster in Montreal, and a club night with Dara O’Briain and Fern Brady and Phil Wang and Tom Allen and Sindhu Vee and every single one of them was an actual real person breathing the same air as me. Before the show I saw Dara O’Briain on the street and was so shocked that I hit my mother too hard to show her and she jumped and the commotion attracted his attention and I didn’t know what to do except stare at him like he was a zoo animal until he smiled awkwardly at me and went on his way.

Things like this did rather renew my interest in a trip, not just for the novelty of seeing a place that feels fictional, but for the more practical purposes of seeing my favourite comedians live. My interests within Britcom were starting to shift significantly toward stand-up, I got obsessed for a while with learning everything about the history of the Edinburgh Festival in the 21st Century, it seemed like another world, the time of the Chocolate Milk Gang and 24-hour shows from the early 00s, but then I watched videos on the internet that were filmed at the 2022 Edinburgh Festival and realized this place is actually real and still happening now and it is technically possible to go there.

After that, the concept rapidly became de-fictionalized in my mind when I sent someone a message on a comedy forum, in the hopes of finding a few comedy recordings that I heard existed, and by complete coincidence stumbled upon the best person I possibly could have. I’d thought worst case scenario is he doesn’t reply and I will be left to assume he saw my message and considered it horribly rude, great scenario is he has a few things I’m asking for, amazing best case scenario is maybe he has lots of stuff and is willing to share. As it happened, I got the best case scenario, plus far more than that. Specifically, a the coolest fucking person I could possibly have found, as a new friend, direct interaction that made all of this seem a hell of a lot less fictional very, very fast. He said things like “So are you ever going to come out here and actually see this stuff yourself”, and I said things like “Obviously I have plotted a route and looked up train fares but don’t be silly, that was just the stuff of lockdown-induced dreams.”

I quickly started planning things more seriously, but at the same time, the editing work I’d been doing started drying up, I had a bit of a financial crisis where I became concerned that I’d be unable to pay rent, and couldn’t save for a trip. I followed the 2023 Edinburgh Festival from afar, from NextUp streams and hearing stories about it from a friend who actually went there and sent me pictures, which was so fucking cool, and it was all so very very real.

I got a new job, this one much harder because it involves leaving the house all day for five days a week, but also it’s much more stable than the editing work I did for all of lockdowns, and I was able to start saving money in the second half of 2023. I learned that the place where I work shuts down for the last week of July, and the Monday of the following week is a holiday. So I put in a request for just four days off, the Tuesday-Friday, to create a two-week holiday. One week in London at the end of July, and one week in Edinburgh during the first week of the Edinburgh Festival.

The time off got approved (barely, I was told I can’t book any other vacation time in 2024, but I got it) in late 2023, and it was so exciting, and that’s the first time it started to feel even a little bit real. Then I booked an Air B&B for the week in Edinburgh, because it’s my understanding that accommodation availability and prices are a huge issue there and you want to book early. I think I did well, though. Found a place that’s not cheap but not unfeasibly expensive, I can have my own room and it’s a 50-minute walk or 10-minute bus from Edinburgh city centre. It was so exciting to book the place, put some money down, finally have something on the books for sure. Though I did triple check that it’s fully refundable if I cancel up until pretty much the day before, just in case something goes wrong.

I booked the flights over Christmas. They weren’t cheap, but I was able to afford them without destroying my ability to pay rent, because it turns out there is a reason why I put myself through human interaction for 8-10 hours five days a week. I did pay an extra fee to give myself the ability to pay another fee and cancel them, because still, it felt like I can’t be totally sure this will actually work. But that was a big commitment.

And that’s pretty well the main things sorted out. I still have to book a whole lot of train tickets, but I have the flights. I have the time off work. I have the Edinburgh accommodation. I have accommodation in London, because the absolute coolest person I could possibly come across on a comedy message board has a spare room, and is extremely kind and generous with his time and space, and I’ve said some pretty disparaging things about that message board before (based on some quite bad threads from like fifteen years ago, that I spent weeks reading in their entirety because, you know, autism), and I would like to take them all back.

Now they’ve announced the first bunch of acts at the 2024 Edinburgh Festival, and I’ve been going through picking out which ones look most interesting to me, and for maybe the first time, it’s finally feeling completely, entirely real. This is happening. For real this time. I am going through an Edinburgh Festival catalogue not just to take screenshots of the most interesting blurbs so I can save them in a folder and/or post them on my blog to say here’s an interesting piece of history. I am going through it to pick what shows I wish to see.

So here’s my plan, that I’m writing because I now feel confident that I think it’s actually going to happen. Obviously I have a spreadsheet with various tabs, and a KMZ file so I can open Google Earth with all the places I might potentially want to see already marked. I have been planning this trip for years. I have two weeks in the UK, and I don’t want to waste a single second. I want to make sure all that time spent planning comes to something, because as a fundamental part of my personality, I have always believed that there is a level of planning you can do to guarantee that everything goes right. This belief has been proven wrong time and time again, but I’ve never tried something with this much planning beforehand, so surely this time it’ll work. No taking a chance on some tourist attraction that might turn out to be shit, because I’ll have looked at it all on Google Earth beforehand and ranked things in order of how cool they look.

I have organized my spreadsheet into seven tabs: overview, plan by day, places to eat, things to see London, in Edinburgh, in Cambridge, and things to pack. I have organized each “things to see” tab into three sections: things I want to see for reasons related to general tourism, things I want to see for reasons related to comedy, and things I want to see for reasons related to Harry Potter. I apologize for the latter, and obviously I will not be doing anything that would give revenue to JK Rowling. But nothing JK Rowling can say in the 2020s will change my childhood, and I need to spend some amount of time indulging my childhood dreams of running around fancy buildings feeling like I’m in a magical British land.

London, tourism: pretty straightforward. Westminster Abbey and St. Paul’s Cathedral are on the list, because I remember how cool they were last time, and because for some reason when I stopped being Christian at age 16 I did not also get rid of my awe at fancy churches. I want to see Parliament and related areas, I want to try to get a picture of the Number 10 door as seen in Yes Minister. I want to see some bridges. Take a cable car across a river. Go look at Douglas Adams in Highgate Cemetery (I realize there are more famous people than Douglas Adams there, I’d like to see them too, but mainly Douglas Adams). Go see what The British Library has going on while I’m there. There are too many pubs on the list given the fact that I’m currently trying to stop drinking, I am going to cut some of those pubs off the list and I’m just trying to decide which ones, but I really love a good pub and the ones in London look so cool and even if I can’t have a pint I want to sit there in the atmosphere and have a burger or some shit.

Harry Potter tour of London is simple. Obviously I want to go look at King’s Cross Station, I did it when I was 16 and it was so fucking cool, I don’t care how stupid that is. Otherwise, I’ve looked up three different areas that were used in filming Diagon Alley, and according to Google Earth, seem like the do sort of look like Diagon Alley-like places. That’s what’s interesting to me. I’m not really interested in places where the movies just happened to be filmed (the movies were fine, I’ve seen them a couple of times each, but it was the books that I read until I had them nearly memorized), I want to see places that look like they could be where the books were actually set. And Goodwin’s Court appears to look like where Harry Potter could have actually been set. So I’ve made an appointment to go walk down a road.

For the comedy-related locations in London, there are a few venues I want to see. Ideally while something’s playing in them, but even if there’s nothing I’m interested in at the Soho Theatre while I’m there, I’d still want to go in and just see the building, after the all the shows I’ve seen and heard that were recorded there. Same with The Bill Murray. Battersea Arts Centre. I also wish to make a pilgrimage to the bit of Regent’s Park where Daniel Kitson’s done some of the most landmark nights of comedy in the last twenty years. Obviously I want to go stand outside the gates to the Taskmaster house and see just how close it is to that golf course. (There will also be a few hours of the itinerary where I might just leave some of the details blank, no need to get too much into what I want to see there, it’s in my spreadsheet as just “Crystal Palace”, and I will say that if you don’t want people to go look at a place where you used to live, don’t make your address the title of your theatre show – I need to stress again, just so we’re clear about what level of creepiness I’m talking about here, it is a former address, not anywhere that anyone significant lives now or has lived for the last fifteen years, it's just the subject of comedy stories that are now long in the past, as are various surrounding landmarks, it’s archaeology.)

Now, in Edinburgh I’ve put a lot fewer things on the itinerary, because I want to leave most of my time for going to see comedy shows. And going to see a couple of music shows, because that first wave of events they’ve announced includes a couple of traditional Scottish music things that I am so excited about, it’s going to be mostly comedy but I do want to do that as well. Celtic music, Harry Potter, British comedy – all the biggest special interests of my life besides the one where you beat people up, all easy to access at this festival (I mean, technically Edinburgh has something called wrestling too, but it’s best if I don’t hear anyone try to compare the Max + Ivan wrestling to the sport that I do).

I do want to climb Arthur’s Seat, because I’ve done it about a hundred times in Google Earth so I just have to do it in real life. When Mark Watson released his book last year, I got the signed and dedicated version and he said we can tell him about a problem we have for him to solve in the dedication. I said my problem is I’m going to London and Edinburgh next year and need advice on where to go, he said I should climb Scott’s Monument. Even though my levels of respect for Mark Watson have dropped significantly since that book actually came out, I am still going to climb Scott’s Monument because Mark Watson told me to.

Similarly, this extremely kind and cool person I know recently got the chance to get me an autographed copy of Tim Key’s new book (which I unfortunately won’t get until I go to London and pick it up in person, but it looks great), where he also asked Tim to give me some advice for my trip. Tim Key said to go to Mosque Kitchen, and Indian restaurant in Edinburgh, so I’m doing that. Oh, and while I’m in London I have to go to a place called Kebab Kid, because it’s Nish Kumar’s favourite shawarma place in England, which I know because I know a guy who could just walk up to Nish Kumar after one of his gigs and ask him what his favourite shawarma place is. Have I mentioned how fucking cool this is?

Anyway. That’s the extent of my interest in Edinburgh tourism, mainly. I mean, if I were going when the festival weren’t on, there would be plenty of other stuff I want to see. But I don’t want to take time away from festival events. I might do the castle. The castle’s probably cool. I definitely want to walk up that hill, as I’ve done many times on Google Earth, and look at the castle. Whether I pay to go inside will depend if there’s a hole in the comedy schedule, I guess.

In the Edinburgh – Harry Potter section, I have a few things. Greyfriar’s Kirkyard, the graveyard with the story about the dog that’s probably bullshit (I mean, it happened, but I think someone was just feeding that dog) but the story about how it inspired Harry Potter character names that’s true. Go get a picture of Tom Riddle’s grave. I’ve marked a couple of streets and a couple of buildings that look particularly like they could be from Harry Potter, those are on the list of places to walk. There’s a Harry Potter store that I want to go in and look through the stuff because the interior seems really cool, but I promise I would never spend money in there.

And then Edinburgh – comedy will probably take care of itself. I want to see The Stand and The Gilded Balloon, as the sites of many of my favourite comedy events over the last twenty years. But I’m hoping I’ll end up in those places anyway to see shows, so no need to make a special trip. If not, though, I’m making a special trip. I have to see the stage where the cow got torn apart. I absolutely have to go see it in person.

There is also the Cambridge tab, because I have blocked off one of my London days to take a train to Cambridge and back. I have made a Google Earth document with about 20 of the most interesting-seeming colleges marked. Obviously I’m not going to see 20 colleges, I’m going to look at them all in Google Earth and then rank them by how cool they look and go see as many as I can in order. I have also, of course, marked down which ones let you take tours and at what times. The place I’m most excited to see is the Wren Library, which appears to be a library from Harry Potter or His Dark Materials or something. I want to see Trinity College because it’s the college on which Douglas Adams based the college in the first Dirk Gently book. A few of the colleges have chapels that look really pretty and are interesting to me because I have for some reason not lost my awe of pretty churches. And mainly, I just want to walk around the Cambridge University grounds looking at stuff.

Oh, and we’re leaving another day to take a train to Kent, where they have an archive of stand-up comedy materials that I wish to see. But I haven’t made a tab for that, because I just want to see some stuff in the University of Kent and then go back to London.

I am also hoping I can block out one day from the Edinburgh week to not book any shows, and just take trains around Scotland. I have always wanted to take trains around Scotland. I have always romanticized trains, I have always romanticized Scotland, taking a train through rural parts of Scotland will make me feel like I’m on the Hogwarts Express, it’s everything my over-romanticizing heart fantasized about when imagining this trip. I’ve checked, and while it would be an incredibly long day, it is possible to take a train from Edinburgh to Mallaig in the morning, have a couple of hours in Mallaig, and take another train back at night. This would take me, twice, through something that’s supposed to be one of the most beautiful train journeys in the world, from Glasgow to Mallaig. Mallaig is a tiny village on the West Coast of Scotland and it’s got a hiking trail and a pub and I just want to take a train across a country and walk around the trail and then sit in that pub and look at the ocean. I want that so badly. It’s been a rough couple of months, I find it hard to spend 8 to 10 hours a day interacting with other people, the thought that one day in early August I might spend one hour sitting in a pub in Mallaig looking at the ocean is really getting me the through the day at this point. There are a few pubs in Mallaig, but obviously I’ve picked out my favourite. I want to eat seafood. I love seafood. That’s not just a Mallaig thing, seafood is my favourite food and I always eat lots of it when I visit the East Coast of Canada because it’s better near the ocean. All of Britain is near the ocean, so I want to eat all their seafood.

Okay, that’s the plan. I was going to write about what I’m thinking in terms of actual shows to see, but I might let that turn into a different post. Right now, I’m just excited about the idea of posting this on the internet because it is real and I am actually going to do it and having this to look forward to is way too big a proportion of my motivation at this point in my life.

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campyvillain · 2 years

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the beatles are so dumb for thinking i’d want to do what they tell me to. “picture yourself on a boat on a river-“ why don’t you picture yourself giving me any reason to listen to what a british person has to say. your hypothetical fucking sucks btw

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pauls1967moustache · 3 months

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Something you posted a while back has really stayed with me and i cant stop thinking about it. Its the idea that most people have this idea that Paul can't say no? Like i don't believe it but in the case the small chance that he did say 'no i don't like you like that' to John in India so many people have this idea that he's totally in the wrong for that? that he had to say yes and its so strange to me? and its actually so upsetting tbh and that's me not me being a no.1 Paul fan that twink deserves death more often than not or to be put in his place even now as an old bingo granny, id take the thickener out of his soup if i could but i really think it relates back to a lot of the feminisation/misogynistic attention he gets. Especially that one quote by certified Beatles writer that describes HDYS as something a scorned lover would write to show he would never be rejected again and its like ??? Paul is allowed to say no? hes very much allowed to not want a relationship? he's allowed to reject it and again its a roundabout way of misogyny with the idea when a woman rejects someone oh she'll be sorry because he'll spend the rest of his time saying mean things about her to everyone who will listen, and just how much she's in the wrong for not wanting/liking them like that, how she is such a bad person because she made him sink that low and do something he later 'regrets'. It's just really strange and sad to me cause again i don't think thats what happened but it the reaction that John was allowed to scream and be angry about it, he was allowed to write piece after piece especially 71 John he was allowed to be angry (and he was yeah) but Paul is never really allowed that same treatment? and even now he gets the treatment of ex-wife who really broke his now dead husbands heart and has to spend the rest of his life 'fixing' that. You can even see it a bit with the way they talk about George and Pauls relationship too the way they use constant femanising language in a derogatory way (bossy, irrational, controlling) to show just how much Paul isn't allowed to be angry and upset the same way they are he has to deal with it

i mean i don't think there was any rejection in india to speak of so this is purely hypothetical nonsense to me anyway, but yeah, i do think it's a silly way to look at it.

i think there's an argument to made like: john and paul's relationship had this weird romantic element to it already, and paul saying no is him kind of leading john on but refusing to ackowledge the truth of what they are - which would be frustrating from john's pov, i get that. the thing about that is that it's not something anyone on tumblr.com/dashboard actually knows for a fact, it's just emotional conjecture a bunch of people decided to project on. which is why the whole paul rejection theory irritates me so much. like yeah! he actually can say no, if that is what he felt! he's not required to be in love with john just because we all want him to be! (not to mention, that if there was a situation where he did reject john, i do not think that's the kind of thing he'd do lightly and without guilt, regardless of any added guilt john would make him feel by being mad about it). it's just a very unkind and reductive way to look at the very real love that DID exist between them, romantic or not. they cared about each other so much. it would be a cruel way for john to treat paul, and it's a cruel way to read into paul's treatment of john.

and i think the other side of it is that a lot of paul's sense of anger and his own feelings of rejection during that whole mess gets overshadowed in the john/paul/yoko triangle. paul was quieter about his anger because john already chose to be with yoko and he didn't feel he had a right to fight that. and the fandom cannot talk about it because half the time it's tied up in the very real mysogyny yoko faced as the face of The Thing That Broke Up The Beatles (even if she isn't), so paul's anger just kind of goes unacknowledged here in relation to john's.

#asks #i kinda disagree with you in that i think paul WAS allowed to be angry but he simply chose not to be (publicly)#but the media loves a catfight. if paul wanted to bitch about john i'm sure there would be plenty of coverage to spur him on.#but i agree that people here talk about it in weird ways #fortunately none of this is real because rejection in india didn't even happen :)

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paladin-of-nerd-fandom65 · 6 months

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Hi I got more questions about the starburst duo!

1: what’s their favorite video games?

2: what is their favorite anime and/or cartoons?

3: Chris has a brotherly/uncle relationship with Kon-El/Conner, what’s Jake’s relationship like with Kon-el?

4: you know how in some movies and tv shows a pair of best friends would get into a fight and act like: “your not my best friend anymore!” And towards the end they get back together, has that happen before between the two of them?

5: what’s the rouge galley for the both of them?

Silly question :p

6: on a scale of 1-10, how likely are they gonna aim for the crotch against a dude villain/goon? Speaking of that what’s their reaction seeing that stuff in movies like how in the first kung fu panda movie Po got hit in the tenders?

(Cracks Fingers while grinning wildly)

Back for more I see, my friend? Very well then…

1) In no particular order, they’d like (in spite of Dick and Lois having some second thoughts in allowing them for playing M Rated titles)

Mortal Kombat

Blitz The League

Cuphead

Dark Souls

Asura’s Wrath,

and perhaps their all time favorite,

The Rockband series (out of them, The Beatles Rockband being their top one. Chris can do both Vocals and Bass while Jake does Drums and Harmonies)

2) Dragon Ball…basically all of Dragon Ball. Whether it’s The OG, Kai, GT, or the upcoming Daima, they’ll be lined up in their best shirts that are either patterned after Piccolo’s outfit or have the Z Fighters on it with their snacks by their side on the couch and engage with an all night marathon of episodes and films. Their favorite character is unanimously Son Gohan

3) Those two get along as good friends though from Jake hears about Conner courtesy of his Uncle Tim and ‘Aunite’ Cassie, whenever Conner inevitably screws up with trying to win a girlfriend off the streets with his egotistical charms and attitude, Jake gleefully takes the chance for snarking about that screw up, much to Conner’s conniption.

Aside from that though, the two make it a sworn oath on working together for making sure Chris is safe and secure from the threats even he’s too great to handle, whether externally or especially his own internal ones including tendencies of low self esteem and fears of abandonment. Conner and Jake are there for him no matter what

4) Much to even their own surprise, not exactly. Yes, there have been moments the two have gone separately from each other before reuniting in full but the thing is, they never had said to each other that they’re no longer friends. They’re never actively taking pot shots or any sort of bad mouth each other even during their lowest points in their friendship.

In fact, it’s because of their close friendship, it’s how they’re able to communicate the message of “Hey Man, I really like to hang out with you but I don’t if it’s the right time right now. Maybe a little later? Still love ya as a friend btw” with little to no words whether it’s face to face or via phone texts. They have mutual respect and understanding of those moments and take their time.

Once they have a chance though, like say in the middle of a crisis or few, they’ll rush to each other’s aid and make up for it once it’s all said and done. Even in a hypothetical Civil War between all the superheroes which has the two in opposite sides would have a similar pattern between them.

5) I once answered this in a earlier ask but I feel like it’s the perfect time for a sort of expansion to that list. Some names here would be old classics while maybe one or two would be OCs of mine for villains.

General Dru Zod (Chris’ birth father and somewhat arch nemesis due to his….very tough love approach to put it very very mildly think of their relationship akin to say Omni Man and Invincible)

Mr Victor Zsasz (Jake’s own Gotham based arch enemy due to a particular case involving street orphans and urchins forcibly fighting a gladiator style tournament to the death and Jake facing Zsasz face to face at the climax of said case, a duel involving a rather brutal beat down since Jake’s powers were shut down briefly that includes a sharp blade and that old damned crowbar)

The Gordanians (Since Jake’s mother is Kory aka Starfire, it should be pretty self explanatory and easy to understand his dislike for these particular aliens)

Deathstroke the Terminator (Similar enough reason to the Gordanians only in this case it’s via what he done to Dick throughout the years as a Titan, whether it includes the forced apprenticeship or other misdeeds)

The Court of Owls (not only due to both Mar’i and Jake being offsprings of the ‘Gray Son’ but they also can sense Chris somehow being a unique sort that distinguishes him from the other Kryptonians (I.e. his unique physiology courtesy of his birth in the Phantom Zone and being a host for the Nightwing entity) that they can claim for themselves, an evolutionary step in their arsenal of Talons)

Cinderblock (The big dumb concrete lug frequently challenges Chris and Jake for a challenge in Bludhaven’s streets which they’re all too happy to take. He’s fun for them to take on)

Xa Du, The Phantom King (As the main ruler of the Phantom Zone himself, he naturally sees Chris as an obstacle to his own path of universal domination)

(And time for some OCs I have in mind)

NKVDemon (an ex-Spetznaz and apprentice of the KGBeast though his goals and methods are far more grand and widespread in comparison than his mercenary teacher’s. While not a cyborg like KGBeast or enhanced like Deathstroke, he’s dangerously intelligent, at peak human condition and utterly ruthless to the core)

Lion Master (a constantly bullied street orphan who ran to join a traveling circus where became the apprentice of an old kindly lion tamer, it all truly went downhill during one performance at Ivy Town when due to a simple mistake on his part, the kid ended up causing the old tamer’s unfortunate demise in front of the crowds, leading to him being kicked out of the circus he called home and the lions ordered in being out down. Not willing to see the felines he can call his friends meet their ends, the orphan frees the four big cats. Now with nothing left to lose and returning to the streets once more, the old tanner’s apprentice turns to a life of petty crime with his four kings of the jungle by his side and at his beckon command; competing his transformation into the Lion Master. Has a beef yet also somewhat a bond with Skybird due to their own connections to the circus yet Skybird and Nightwing ‘Phantom’ always foil his crimes)

La Llorona (‘The Weeping Woman’ herself; the Duo once encountered her during a vacation their families were taking in Mexico. A one time antagonist who they actually were able to communicate with in order to help her find peace with them but certainly a memorable one)

The monkeys and undead guardians of El Dorado (Ling story incredibly short, Time Travel shenanigans had Chris and Jake land in the a time lopping ancient city of gold with these monkeys and zombified warriors attacking the intruders almost every step of their way within their adventure to escape)

Vla-Bol (A Kryptonian juvenile delinquent who led an equivalent of a street gang doing all sorts of petty crimes and ruled their city streets/Hallways with an iron fist. At first, The Kryptonian High Coucil had Vla drafted into basically boot camp under the command of an ancestor of a certain Kryptonian General, Grand Admiral Gro-Zod. Unfortunately for Vla, despite or maybe because of taking the Admiral’s teachings and philosophy to heart, he went on committing plenty of bad conduct and failed to hold back his fury during war time as a Private. For this misconduct, Vla-Bol was banished to the Phantom Zone at the age of only 14 years, swearing vengeance on the House of Zod for this indignity. It just centuries later and once he finally is able to leave the Zone and find planet Earth, there happens on being a descendent of the old Admiral, Lor Zod aka Chris. Vla-Bol is an utter show off and Grade A jerk who flaunts his powers without any hesitation or second thought. Powers that are surprisingly deviant from standard Kryptonian ones as while yes he can fly, lift extremely heavy objects and exhibit super human speeds, for one he relies on Moonlight to fuel them. Also, in place of heat vision and x ray vision, Vla-Bol instead can make copies of himself composed of shadows and summon dark energy from the Zone itself, capable of leveling entire city blocks at the palm of his hands)

(*Phew* I think that should do it lol)

6) Chris: 3, Clark taught him well enough to not resort to dirty tricks in fighting his opponents

Jake: 10, Being raised in Bludhaven by Nightwing and having Red Hood as an Uncle….it’s pretty obvious he would fight dirty like they can lol

As for their reactions, both of them would giggling at those moments.

Okey Dokey, I’m pretty sure that’s a plenty for my answers, Anon

If there’s any suggestions to add or constructive criticisms, please Reblog/Reply. It’ll be very appreciated ;-)

#chris kent #jake grayson #starburst duo #dragon ball #connor kent #oc #sfw #cw #headcanon #dick grayson #koriand'r #clark kent #lois lane #court of owls #Xa du #slade wilson #victor zsasz #general zod #kgbeast

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