Am I really going to have to write the fake dating au where Mike (an idiot) realizes he’s in love with Will, but doesn’t think Will likes him back - so he asks Will to pretend to date him to piss off Hopper (who’s Will’s stepdad). Will (also an idiot) agrees, because he is Absolutely 100% Positive that Mike is Straight™️, and this is the closest he’ll ever get to dating him
Alt title was gonna be “tonedeaf” lmfaoo. I enjoy the fandom’s music headcanons (personally, I joke to myself that they get attached to train related songs because 🗿 it funny.) NOW are they good at singing? Up to the reader. I just know that its painfully loud. Fittingly chandelure has no volume control and exclusively screams.
I think they get to be a little silly and sleepy off the clock, as a treat.
Its this song btw, in case it wasn’t readily obvious.
it baffles me that people are fully convinced mike could never reciprocate will’s feelings when this scene literally exists like what the hell was this they’re literally flirting and giving each other heart eyes why did they jump like they’d been caught red-handed confessing their love to each other when they heard the car outside why does mike only use that soft voice when he’s with will they can’t fool me with their gay ass friend zoning this was the fruitiest shit i’ve ever witnessed
well, blobfish actually look much more suited to their environment- when they are actually seen in their environment. this image i found on google maps explains it well!
their bodies are best suited for surviving at about 60 to 120 times as much pressure as we experience at sea level. (fun fact- maintaining a swim bladder would likely be very inefficient at that pressure. in order to be able to float, blobfish are made primarily of a gelatinous mass that is slightly less dense than water!) when they get pulled up in fishing nets, or by a natural disaster, their body rapidly depressurizes, expanding their tissues beyond their natural limits, turning the barely-swimming, deep-dwelling fish on the left into the more commonly portrayed image on the right.
while doing a little more research on this, instead of doing my final research paper like i should be, i discovered that there is only one instance of a blobfish specimen being kept alive in captivity, located at the Aquamarine Fukushima, in Japan! the specimen was pulled- alive- through about 750 to 1,200 meters of water before it was moved to the aquarium. now look at this screenshot from a news article about it because im about to cry over it.
Your eyes snapped open as you gazed at the creme ceiling of the building. You heard footsteps and a familiar scowling face looked down as you lay on your back spread out like a starfish.
“What are you still doing here?”
“I just thought I’d stare at the ceiling for a bit. Have you noticed someone really needs to clean the lights up there?”
He looked at you with an unamused expression.
“You know if you keep scrunching your face like that, you’ll get wrinkles by the time you hit 20. And then I’ll start calling you old man Haji.”
You heard a burst of bright laughter and then flinched when a pair of warm brown eyes were dangerously close to your face.
“Iwa-chan already acts like a grouchy grandpa anyway” Oikawa said, squatting beside you. His arms rested lightly on his knees and he peered down at you.
“But why are you here?”
You groaned. “Practising jump serves.”
“For how long.” Iwaizumi crossed his arms.
“Since practice ended.” You grinned sheepishly. “I can’t move anymore.”
“y/n-chan you shouldn’t stay so late. You need your beauty sleep.”
He yelped when Iwaizumi smacked him on the back of the head and he fell forward onto his knees.
“You’re the last person who should be talking.”
“Excuse me,” You said sitting up. “I don't need beauty sleep, I’m always looking fresh and cute.” You cupped your palm against your face. He briefly glanced at the white wrapping on your pinky finger before looking back.
“Yeah your dark circles, greasy hair and jammed finger are kind of ruining the cute concept you’re going for.”
“Iwa-chan! That’s no way to speak to a lady.”
“Yeah you’re supposed to pretend and agree with me,” you huffed and narrowed your eyes at him while he rolled his. “Toru is the only one I can rely on.”
Oikawa immediately struck a pose, his thumb and index finger making a V-line under his chin. Both of you fluttered your eyelashes at Iwaizumi in innocence.
“I can’t handle both of you at the same time,” he said, shaking his head and turning around to walk off. “Stay, don’t stay, I'm heading out.”
“Tsk, as if he’s not going to wait 5 min outside before sticking his head in and yell at us to leave.”
Oikawa laughed nervously. “We should probably follow him. My head still hurts from when he hit me earlier.”
You held your arms up. “Up, please then.” Oikawa grinned mischievously in response before scooping you up bridal style and speeding off.
“Oikawa! This is too high!” You squealed as both of you rushed past Iwaizumi (who was indeed leaning against the gym wall). Your yells soon turned to a gasp of shock and then giggles as Oikawa suddenly broke off into a sprint toward the school gates.
Iwaizumi didn’t move from his spot and watched your antics, a soft smile gracing his lips.
The other idiot in his life.
One day he’d confess. Tell you how his heart pounded painfully fast when you smiled at him. How he had accidentally stuttered in his run up to spike as he heard your voice come from behind him when you visited practice. How he remembers the first time he looked at you as a girl and not the 5 year-old that sassed Oikawa at the playground, and how all of a sudden his face felt hot and he couldn’t meet your eyes when you helped each other stretch before practice. How he thought you were cute today - you were always cute.
All that and the fact that Oikawa threatened to tell you if he didn’t man up and say something. It had earned him a volleyball to the head but Iwaizumi knew he was right.
He sighed and listened to the crickets chirping in the cool night air. There was a brief silence and then he swore.