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#because I have no idea how to write a caption
catgirlkirigiri · 6 months
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only her name was inscrybed.
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icewindandboringhorror · 10 months
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Baby boy brother birthday photos from last year that I just realized I never uploaded!
#cats#also hopefully it's not weird to still post photos of George (the brown cat) even after his death a little while ago. I just have so many#beautiful old pictures of him that I still love but just never had the time to sort through or upload (my cat photos folder on my#computer had like 450 pictures in it or something lol... SO many). I feel like it's kind of just honoring or appreciating him#and not actually strange or anything. like what am I supposed to do. delete them?? I want to share them still because he is beautiful and#perfect ! idk. aNYWAY. Also this is their 2022 birthday when they turned 14 years old. (even though I think when I posted#their 2021 bday I might have said they were 14 then too. I was off by a year lol). 2023 when they turned 15 I unfortunately#was feeling kind of sick at the time and didn't really have the energy to do the decorations like I usually do. So they just got a few#treats and stuff. But I didn't know that would be george's last birthday lol. :/#They also do not really know or care though. they're cats who cannot process it or know the concept of birthdays so. eh#I still have no idea how these got lost on the computer though. Like I had them fully edited ready to post but just sitting in a folder??#Since MARCH 2022 lol... ??? the folder was in another folder of pictures so maybe that's how I overlooked it#But it's my 'once every 4 months computer organizing and clean out time' so I was going tghrough looking for pictures#I could drafts posts out of or sort or etc.#They got lots more treats for this birthday because one of my friends actually game me a few gifts for them#elderly boys.!!!!#I used to write in the little caption/image description sections to talk about them all individually but at some point tumblr broke that#feature and for so long they never saved or weren't visible so I stopped doing them and just ramble a bunch in the tags instead#but I kind of miss them. Thinking about old posts of the cats where I commented on each photo individually too lol.. the good ole days
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luvitual · 1 year
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you've got a letter from taeyoung!! 💞
cr: x, x
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theloveinc · 1 year
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i have to know what is penis music😭😭😭😭ive been following since ihatebnha and its always lived in the back of my mind but ive gathered the courage to ask what is penis music 🤔🤔
#submission#AHHHHHH FHDHICHEKSHDJ NRJFJF YOURE SO SWEET to submit to me and ask this!!!#if u remember it all the way from IHB days it means uve been here practically from the start🥺🥺#that means so much to me actually u don’t even know :((#and I’m glad u found the courage actually🫶🏻🫶🏻#but let’s see… it’s kinda funny actually because I picked it totally separately from what it actually references#like I knew it was a meme and stuff but I didn’t know how or why#but since I was writing sm*t at the time I thought it was hilarious actually to think of my writing as like… p*nis music LOL#u know like I was playing a little horn but it was actually just sm*t or something#LMAO that’s actually not that funny typing it out but it makes sense in my head#BUT ANYWAY IF U ACTUALLY LOOK IT UP#(which I didn’t for a while) it’s really a nonsensical megamind meme#of the villain guy dancing to like … idek what kind of music it’s nuts tbh#but that caption was ‘p*nis music’ ig LOL#(I’ll link it once I post this!)#and it made things even funnier in a way#even tho I have no idea like… what the origin/creative intent was and why and where and when…?#I just pray it’s nothing offensive LOL cuz p*nis music is still so funny#and I wanted to bring it back bc it was missed when my titles were other things#I forget#one was ‘*dies from cringe* LMAOOOOOO STILL GOOD#anyway that’s it! I hope this made sense and answered your question#I really appreciate the submission as I was feeling a bit down tonight#and it cheered me up#I hope ur well and ur holidays are good#and thank u again for sticking with me all this time🤞🏻
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blue-avis · 1 year
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Dc X DP prompt/story idea
So Danny has teamed up with different Captain Marvels over the years (either via clockwork shenanigans, or the Dp universe is simply older then DC) and Billy has memorys of this badass Ghost coming to help his predecessors out of tight spots.
Billy brings him up offhandedly in a JL meeting and jokingly calls Danny his dad. (Oh that reminds me of when Phantom went all dad mode and stopped this powerful mage from killing me a few hundred years ago)
The JL finds some ancient pots or writings describing Phantom as a benevolent god. They connect the dots.
A demigod calling a being described as a god their father? Checks out.
The league really needs help with something or someone world ending (probably darkseid) and they are out of all options so they tell Marvel to call his dad. Even Bruce and Constantine are onboard because a being described as benevolent that is apparently one of the most powerful leaders dad is certainly the safest option then whatever else they have at the moment.
Billy internally freaks out and tells them he needs to go to the Rock of Eternity to call him because he lives in a another dimension/universe and it’s just safer contact him there. Billy books it to the rock sifting through memorys, spell books, and desperately asking Shazam for help because none of his predecessors ever contacted Danny he just showed up.
Billy eventually finds something to summon Danny and does so, not before getting some food as offering of course. Danny shows up either and a adult or a Elterich being because it’s just easier to have adults respect you when you look like that rather then a 14 year old.
When Danny sees Billy he’s instantly like ‘is that a 12 year old!?’ Because his powers as the ghost king and or being considered an ancient let’s him see through the magic that is Caption Marvels form. Billy tells Danny about the situation and Danny is concerned.
Depending on how the writer wants the fic to go Danny’s reaction would probably be either ‘I must help him at all costs because he’s like I was after the accident’ or ‘he’s way to young to be fighting such powerful beings, who do I give a piece of my mind to!’
It could easily be either Danny adopting Billy, or Danny and Billy becoming close friends that pretend to be father and son to mess with the JL and JLD
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slutforln4 · 4 months
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EMAILS I CAN’T SEND
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🖇️ in which your ex-boyfriend is the perfect muse
🖇️ faceclaim: sabrina carpenter
🖇️ not a request, just an idea i've had for a bit
🖇️ oscar piastri x singer!reader
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oscarpiastri uploaded a story
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[caption: late night talking]
replies
landonorris we have a race tomorrow 
oscarpiastri i’m aware
landonorris you need to sleep 
oscarpiastri i can risk a few hours of sleep for her 
yourusername 🩷🩷
oscarpiastri pretty girl 
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gracieabrams
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liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, landonorris and 984,347 others
gracieabrams there’s gotta be some sorta compensation for thirdwheelers
tagged | yourusername
comments
user1 is that y/n
user2 that’s y/n omg 
user3 who’s she with tho….
user4 the f1 girlies know
yourusername i wonder who that is…
gracieabrams only the most disgustingly cute couple i’ve seen
oscarpiastri not a couple
yourusername yeah, we’re strictly business partners
oscarpiastri 
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liked by yourusername, gracieabrams, landonorris and 2,892,927 others
oscarpiasti Race weekend + other things
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user5 other things = y/n
user6 business partners are surely partnering
yourusername you slayed that race tbh
oscarpiastri all thanks to you :)
gracieabrams that's disgusting
danielricciardo i agree
landonorris me too
yourusername stay mad 
yourusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, gracieabrams and 679,638 others
yourusername sooo is t-posing a necessity to win or is that just an oscar thing?
comments 
landonorris long story short, george russell happened
yourusername ah, that explains it.
oscarpiastri did you have to post that specific image?
yourusername would you rather i post the one where your cheeks are so full you look like a squirrel?
oscarpiastri no ma’am
user7 “ma’am” she’s got him wrapped around her finger good lord
gracieabrams the taylor swift lyrics. you’re so down bad it’s sickening
yourusername it’s just a nice song 😇
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yourusername
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liked by gracieabrams, danielricciardo, charles_leclerc and 749,937 others
yourusername sad girls write sad music
comments 
user8 awe :( 
user9 someone zoom in and decipher what that says PLEASE 
user10 methinks an album is coming
user11 new heartbreak anthem, can’t wait 
danielricciardo is taylor swift finally featured in it
yourusername she didn’t reply to my email (i forgot to send it) 
user12 😭
gracieabrams sad girls unite 
yourusername i love u more than he ever could’ve <3
gracieabrams shade but true (love you too) 
yourusername 
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liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, gracieabrams and 983,837 others
yourusername same time here next weekend? 
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user13 paris was blessed with her presence 
gracieabrams girl wyd in paris 
yourusername hunting for french boys ❤️
gracieabrams find one for me ty  
user14 next weekend is french gp GUYSSSS 
user15 is she hinting at smth…
user16 i hope not, because she deserves better 
charles_leclerc can’t wait to see you on the paddock! 
yourusername and at your house, obviously 
charles_leclerc silly me, how could i forget
used17 ??? WHAT 
user18 girlie is moving on fast huh
user19 no bc this is insane
oscarpiastri 
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liked by landonorris, gracieabrams, danielricciardo and 3,837,837 others
oscarpiastri Tiny victories :)
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user20 oh! okay! 
user21 why’s he smiling as if he didn’t cheat on his girl… uhm
landonorris tiny victories + huge losses
oscarpiastri you win some, you lose some
landonorris and you lost, big time
user22 uh. What
user23 HELLO???????///
user24 idk if this is y/n or lando’s homie hopper era, but i support it
gracieabrams boo no one cheered
oscarpiastri yawns
user25 gracie babes…
user26 taking her bestie’s man right in front of her 💀
user27 y/n’s bestie isn’t gracie but! good riddance!
yourusername 
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liked by gracieabrams, landonorris, charles_leclerc and 1,928,508 others
yourusername what it was and what it wasn’t
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user28 is this her official statement of them breaking up? 
yourusername yes
user29 mother confirmed they were never together 💔
user30 brb crying
user31 love isn’t and never was real
oscarpiastri and what was it?
yourusername you giving too much and then getting scared
user32 OH???
user33 are they about to settle their argument in an instagram comment section…
user34 mmm no… this is sus. y/n wouldn’t do that in her own insta comment section
user35 no fr like she’s not as immature as other celebs to just handle her private love life in public 💀
user35 but then again, what do we know about her to assume this? cause she did it even when we assumed she wouldn’t
gracieabrams something is brewing
yourusername something’s cooking mhm mhm 
gracieabrams someone lock this girl in the kitchen, she’s cookin up bangers 
gracieabrams 
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liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, landonorris and 2,928,937 others
gracieabrams so incredibly proud of my girl y/n 🩷 second slide is probably one of her best moments as a songwriter. who could’ve thought he used a fork? or that forks are everywhere? genius stuff, i tell you. no but honestly, she’s worked so hard for so long and “email’s i can’t send” is finally out. everyone go listen or else third slide y/n will stab you with a fork.
tagged | yourusername
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user36 the subtle bullying 😭 i love them
user37 the best friendships are like this
yourusername you’re such a loser ily 🤍
yourusername thank you for the help with the fork lyrics! It was all gracie’s idea guys, don’t listen to what she has to say
gracieabrams i knew you’d somehow put the blame on me
yourusername 
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liked by oscarpiastri, gracieabrams, charles_leclerc and 3,384,038 others
yourusername “emails i can’t send” is out and i couldn’t be happier. not only because it’s released, but also because i can finally stop getting oscar into trouble haha 🤍 i’m just a girl in the world, sorry os. this lovely boy continued supporting me even when i suggested such a crazy idea, so that just proves he’s the right one for me (seriously, who would cook pasta for a girl that asked if they could fake a breakup?) last slide is oscar’s actual reaction to seeing me be silly on the gram. listen to my new album and stay delusional, my loves. 💌
tagged | oscarpiastri, gracieabrams
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oscarpiastri i can’t even be mad about the last slide cause it’s true…
oscarpiastri i love you princess, couldn’t imagine my life without you.
yourusername os :( i love you so bad
user38 wait huh
user39 IT WASNT REAL????
user40 LOVE DOES EXIST GUYS AND ITS THEM ❤️
gracieabrams my bestfriend is batshit crazy, and i’m all here for it
yourusername love you always
user41 so all of that… was all a marketing strategy…
user41 honestly, y/n is a mastermind
landonorris finally, oscar will stop asking me if you were serious about the breakup or not
danielricciardo the grid shall know peace once more
charles_leclerc i can’t deny that it was kind of funny seeing oscar walk around the paddock with his tail between his legs
oscarpiastri okay guys haha the bit’s over, shut up
landonorris @/yourusername break up with him again, he’s being mean 
oscarpiastri no please don’t 
user42 i’m crying 😭 why’s this kinda funny
user43 y/n messing with oscar’s reputation is funny to you? She could’ve fucked up his career lmao
oscarpiastri she didn’t mess with anything, i agreed to joke around and fake a breakup. I asked my pr team and they thought it was as funny as we did, so we did it. and it ended up putting my girl on the top of the charts, so :) stay mad, i guess liked by yourusername
user44 HE SAID STAY MAD IM YELLING
charles_leclerc 
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liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, gracieabrams and 4,974,093 others
charles_leclerc thank you so much to my *friend* y/n for letting me feature on her new album. and to oscar, thank you for not murdering me when the dating rumours happened. wishing you two all the best.
tagged | yourusername, oscarpiastri
comments
user45 aw wait this is so sweet :(
user46 y/n is besties with all of the grid this is adorable
user47 him having to clarify that they’re friends HAHAHA
yourusername love u charlie <3 was lovely working with you. (all the piano bits you hear in the album are charlie’s work, round of applause everyone)
user48 clapping so loud
oscarpiastri cheers mate, thanks for keeping her busy and me sane
yourusername such a liar, you were at home weeping for me to stay 
oscarpiastri no i wasn’t (yes i was)
oscarpiastri
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liked by yourusername, landonorris, gracieabrams and 5,937,938 others
oscarpiastri So proud of this crazy girl, for more than just her new album’s release. She’s been so strong and so hard-working, and so loving. Peep the second slide to see her crying selfie that she sent to me immediately after commenting “yes” and confirming our pretend break-up. The third slide is of my girl and her best friend, because they’ve kept me on my toes for the past two months. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you to the moon and to saturn, y/n.
tagged | yourusername, gracieabrams
comments
user49 i love my virtual parents 🫶
user50 love is real and they’re proving that everyday
user51 HE QUOTED TAYLOR SWIFT TO HER IM SOBBING ON THR FLOOR
yourusername me too bff, i love this boy so much
landonorris is gracie single
yourusername no
gracieabrams yes i am?
yourusername you don’t want lando, trust me
landonorris okay what the fuck
yourusername i’m breaking up with you for reals this time
oscarpiastri what the fuck :( 
yourusername was the crying selfie really necessary 💔
oscarpiastri you look cute 
yourusername don’t even.
yourusername i love you so much, thank you for being my muse
oscarpiastri i hope i’m your muse for happy love songs too? (pls say yes)
yourusername next album is called “oscar is the love of my life”, so i’d say yes
oscarpiastri fuck yes 
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🖇️ just a silly little story. hope you enjoyed <3
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ziggyzolch · 22 days
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Queen Bee-atch Ⅶ (Regina George x Reader)
Warnings: None, lighthearted chapter tbh
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The sound of a marker cap popping open echoes across the walls of Regina’s room. Squeaking could be heard from the other side of the house with how aggressively she was writing.
She ignores her mothers insistent knocking as she pulls out a pair of scissors and cuts the photo of her and Cady in half. Pulling out a glue stick, Regina aggressively sticks the photo in the middle of the page.
She takes a deep breath, calming herself down and sitting back to admire her work. ’This girl is the nastiest skank bitch I've ever met. Do not trust her. She is a fugly slut!’ Captioned above a picture of her stuck in the burn book.
Those byotches had no idea what was coming. ✮✮✮
This party was worse than anything she could’ve imagined. Someone broke her mothers vase, Gretchen and Karen wouldn’t leave her alone, and, worst of all, she threw up on Aaron!
“Aaron, wait!” Her heels were digging into the backs of her feet as she chased after her longtime crush, wiping the puke off her mouth.
Aaron angled his body towards Cady, walking backwards and pointing his finger at her, “You are a clone of Regina.”
Cady sighed before perking up, “Call me!”
Aaron ignored her, wiping her vomit off his shirt as he disappeared around the corner.
At the sound of a motor, Cady scrunches her eyebrows, turning towards the source of the mechanical whirring. She curses under her breath as she watches you, Damien, and Janis approach on a motor scooter.
“You dirty little liar.” Janis jumps off of the scooter, stomping towards Cady while you and Damien spin around, unable to stop the scooter.
“I’m sorry! I can explain-”
“Explain how you didn’t invite us to your party?”
You pipe up, “Janis, I’m getting dizzy!”
She glares at you as Cady replies, “I had to act like I hated you! You told me to pretend to be plastic.”
“This,” Janis looks Cady up and down, “Is not pretend. You’re plastic. Cold, hard, shiny plastic.”
Damien warns Janis about his curfew before she continues, “Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters and listen to awesome music and just sit around soaking up each others awesomeness?”
Cady’s face contorts in anger, “You made me like this! All because of some bullshit petty 6th grade drama!”
Janis scoffs, raising her arms up in exasperation, “Oh my god! At least me and Regina George know we’re mean. You still try to act all innocent! You got what you wanted. Aaron broke up with Regina, yet you still mess with her. You know why? Because you’re a mean girl! You’re a bitch!” She throws her artwork at Cady, “You can have this, it won a prize.”
Janis gets back onto the moving scooter, almost falling off when you shake the vehicle getting off. Cady’s eyes widen when she sees you rushing towards her, preparing herself for another scolding when you run past her into the house party. Janis and Damien groan, turning back around and spinning.
Cady’s eyes widen when she catches you walking out with two half full bottles of vodka.
“Alright, let’s go.” You jump back onto Damien's lap, adjusting your hold on the two bottles. Cady runs her hands through her hair, letting out a breath. She starts walking back into her house when she hears Damien's voice,
“I want my pink shirt back!”
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“Wanda literally solos all of…” You trail off when a group of girls rush past you gasping at their phones as you walk through the doors. You and Janis turn to each other in confusion before Damien runs up to both of you and drags you further into school. “Check what I sent you!”
Janis pulls out her phone at Damien’s request, her jaw dropping, “No. Fucking. Way.”
She turns her phone towards you. Squinting your eyes at her screen, you read,
“Damien, too gay to…function?! That's only okay when we say it!” You turn away from her phone, pointing and watching the commotion with your friends. Looking around, you ask,
“Have you guys seen Regina?”
Before either could answer, the sound of the fire alarm and sprinklers going off startles everyone.
“All junior girls report to the gymnasium, immediately! Immediately!”
Damien puts on his hood, before walking alongside you and Janis to the gym. Taking your seats on the bleachers at the back, you open your phone to look through the different pages of the burn book.
“Hah! Check this out: ‘Trang Pak is a grotsky little byotch’. It’s like a foreign language.” Janis and Damien giggle as you continue scrolling, ignoring the pang in your heart when you scroll past your own page, and scrunching your eyebrows in confusion at Regina’s. Didn’t she make this? Speaking of...
You stand up, looking around for her, when you catch Cady walking in awkwardly. She makes eye contact with you, offering you a little smile that you return. As shitty as what she did was, it wasn’t entirely on her. Plus she was about to go through way shittier with the way people kept staring at her.
She turns looks next to you, still smiling, when Janis catches her eye and flips her the bird.
The stare off was interrupted by Principal Duvall starting his speech, going on and on about how he oughta cancel our spring fling. You weren’t really paying attention until the end.
“Who has any lady problems they’d like to share?” You snort when you catch Gretchen pushing Karen's hand down.
Another girl you barely recognize raises her hand, “Somebody wrote in that book that I’m lying about being a virgin because I use super jumbo tampons,”
You, Janis and Damien start hitting each other, holding your noses and trying not to laugh when she continues, “I can’t help it if I’ve got a heavy flow and a wide set vagina.”
Your face was turning red, barely holding it together when Damien snorts. You bark out a laugh, slapping your hand over your mouth when everyone turns to look at you.
“Yeah, I can’t do this.” Principal Duvall sighs and urges Ms. Norbury to continue for him.
“Alright, everybody close your eyes,” She pauses, “Raise your hand if you’ve ever had a girl say something mean about you behind your back. Now open your eyes.”
You look around the room, everybody had their hands raised. She continues, “Close your eyes again. Raise your hand if you’ve ever said anything mean about a friend behind their back,”
You peek an eye open, raising your hand when you see everyone else's hands raised. You catch Regina doing the same. There she is. “Now open.”
You, Janis and Damien all collectively gasp when you see each other's hands raised.
“Seems like there’s been a little girl-on-girl crime here, let’s do a couple exercises...” Ms. Norbury had all of you confront your friends on what bothered you.
After a couple of confrontations and arguments, Regina stands up with her arms crossed, “Can I just say that I don’t think we have a clique problem at this school. Some of us don’t need to be here! We’re just victims.”
Ms. Norbury smiles, “That's probably true. How many of you have felt personally victimized by Regina George?” You slide down your chair, groaning in second-hand embarrassment when everybody raises their hands.
Janis rolls her eyes and pulls you back up to sit properly.
“Cady, is there anything you’d like to own up to?” Ms. Norbury calls out.
“No.” Cady replies
“You never made up a rumor about anyone?”
Cady looks around, shuffling in her seat, “No.”
“Nothing you want to apologize for?”
“...No.”
Ms. Norbury says something to Cady that you couldn’t catch before moving on. “Alright. Everybody up.”
She made us gather around a little platform, letting whoever wanted to go up and apologize for whoever they’ve hurt. It was absolutely horrible trying to hold in your laugh as the apologies began, especially when Karen fell forward into the trust fall instead of backwards. Someone you don’t recognize goes up, crying and apologizing.
“She doesn’t even go here!” Damien shouts before pushing you in front of him and pulling the strings of his hoodie. You stand on your tiptoes, attempting to conceal him as Janis moves closer to you. "I can't see shit from here," You mumble, trying to look between the girls stood in front of you.
Wanting to get a better view, you decide to move towards the front of the crowd. You pushed yourself between the girls, ignoring the curses thrown your way. Karen noticed you walking towards her and Gretchen and moved to the side as Gretchen went up, making space for you. Your smile dropped as Gretchen began her speech.
Oh wow. Gretchen was horrible at apologies.
Gretchen turns and falls backwards. Entranced by the train wreck that was Gretchen's half-assed apology, you hadn’t noticed people scattering away from you and Karen. Ms. Norbury gasps.
You all fall to the ground, Gretchen and Karen landing on top of you. Karen gets up after Gretchen, helping you up after her and adjusting your disheveled hair. You raise your eyebrows as she begins squeezing your cheeks with a far away look in her eyes before Gretchen starts pulling her arm. Snapping out of whatever trance she was in, she lets Gretchen drag her away, offering you a smile and a wave goodbye,
They could never make you hate her.
Janis pats your shoulder as she walks past you and up onto the platform, beginning her speech. Your eyes widen as she begins to list everything she’d done to sabotage Regina.
“Ay ay ay ay ay!” She ends her speech and jumps into the crowd as they all cheered her on. You were about to join when a teary eyed Regina pushed past you.
"Regina!" You and Cady called at the same time. You looked at each other for a moment before running towards Regina.
Cady keeps walking as you stop at the edge of the street, leaving them to hash it out when you feel a hand on your shoulder. A breathless Janis was standing next to you. You pat her back, “Nice speech, you should join Model UN.” Janis shakes her head in disgust, making you laugh until you notice a school bus speeding towards Regina.
"No!" Janis attempts to pull you back as you rush forward, jumping towards Regina and pushing her out of the way.
You both land on the harsh asphalt, groaning.
“God! Who drives that fucking fast in a school zone?!” You had your hand on your chest, trying to come down from the rush of adrenaline. “At least no one got hurt,”
Sitting up and looking around, you notice everyone’s eyes on you, “What? Why is everyone looking at me?”
Regina’s scream startles you. “Oh my God!” She says while standing up and pointing at your leg. You raise an eyebrow, turning to where she was pointing.
Oh god.
“Is the bone supposed to stick out like that?” You attempt to joke, before promptly blacking out. The last thing you see being Cady, Regina, and Janis all running towards you.
✮✮✮
Long-ish A/N: I used the gymnasium scene from the original mean girls, its lowkey funnier. I know this chapter has a criminal lack of Regina, but I promise I'll make up for it next chapter. I just needed to move the story along.
I made a little sketch of how I imagine R, but I made her vague in the fic on purpose! You get to imagine her however you want. This is just how I imagine her.
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Will I acknowledge the fact that she looks like me? nope. Will I acknowledge the fact that I left out an eye? yolo.
Anyways, thank you for reading!
Tag list: @itzyyyyyydaaaaaa (if u wanna get tagged in the next chapter reply under this post!)
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esyra · 7 months
Text
These days, I have long debated what to write regarding Palestine-Israel, and questioned why I should write anything at all. The idea that celebrities and the loudest chronically online people you've ever met, blessed in their ignorance and indifferent to livehoods different than theirs, feel the need to opinate on social and geopolitical issues is absolutely insane. Most of the time, they do more harm than good—spreading misinformation like wildfire. Such opinions are what convinced me to ultimately talk about it.
Rest assured I'm not particularly qualified to talk about any of this, then again no one seems (or tries) to be. This is not a statement, simply questions about selected nuance. Full disclosure: I am of Palestinian descent. And I tried my hardest to be all-encompassing and empathetic; if I fail at any moment, my sincerest apologies.
All around social media I've seen only two kinds of posts regarding Palestine and Israel; they're either completely favorable to Israel and dehumanize Palestine or they treat Palestines as a footnote, in which it's made to assure its author doesn't endorse murder but also to point out that Palestine "deserve what's coming." There's a certain nuance required to support Palestine that's not asked when supporting Israel.
I've seen Jamie Lee Curtis reposting a picture of Palestinian children watching Israelis air strikes as if they were of Israeli children. There's no doubt it was a malicious-intended post considering she credited the photographer while deleting the original caption which explicitly explained who the ones pictured were. After being severely corrected in the comments, she simply deleted and made no mention of it. Guess children don't matter if they're Palestinian. I've seen way too many celebrities responding to the conflict with worries about how they might be affected by it, as self-centered and selfish as you can imagine.
I've seen a journalist claim that 40 Israeli babies were beheaded and multiple newspapers (many of them British, because what else can you expect from them?) and public figures reposting as a fact, only for the same journalist to later claim she actually "never said that" (she absolutely did). Also the IDF explaining they have no information confirming the allegations that 'Hamas beheaded babies'. I've seen people using statements from Sabra and Shatila massacre survivors and trying to rewrite Palestine, which were the victims of said crime, as the perpetrators. I've seen people using videos of Russian attacks as Palestinian ones. I've seen a British journalist fabricating a harmful statement from a Palestinian Ambassador to help dehumanize Palestine, and being proud of such. I've seen BBC using the nuances of language to their liking, reporting how Israelis were 'killed' while Palestinians 'died'. Always heard journalists avoid adjectives in favor of being unbiased. Again, guess that's unimportant when it comes to Palestine. Most of all, I've seen people equate supporting Palestine to anti-semitism.
If that belief steams that Palestine and Hamas are one-and-the-same, and the latter is a anti-semitism organization, then that's another concern I'd like to add the recently appraised 'nuance'.
Hamas first appeared during the first intifada, a Palestinian uprising against Israeli occupation of the West Bank, Gaza, and East Jerusalem. The signing of the Oslo Accords in 1993 marked the end of the uprising—an agreement between Israel and Palestine meant to lay the groundwork for the formation of a Palestinian state alongside Israel. Instead, it has erased Palestine's recognition as a State. In its history, Hamas have equate the liberation of Palestinians with the destruction of Israel, likely the reason they're a highly divisive organization that has often been at oddens with more mainstream Palestinian politicians. However, Hamas backtracked on its aims in a 2017 proclamation, making it clear that what it wants is to end a “racist, anti-human and colonial Zionist project.” In its 16th topic, they state "Hamas affirms that its conflict is with the Zionist project not with the Jews because of their religion. Hamas does not wage a struggle against the Jews because they are Jewish but wages a struggle against the Zionists who occupy Palestine."
The description of the Israeli occupation as fascist most likely comes from the similarities of Palestine to an "open air prison". They have no control of their own borders (IDF controls who and what enters or leaves) and are deemed stateless. "In defiance of international law, Israel considers all Palestinians inhabitants of the occupied Palestinian territory as non-citizens and foreign residents." Meaning if they leave their territory, they won't be allowed back in. Their rights in the Arab World are uncertain, particularly in Lebanon and Egypt where they are denied rights to secure residency, employment, property, communal interaction and family unification. Procedures to allow non-residents to apply for naturalisation in Lebanon, Egypt and Saudi Arabia do not apply to stateless Palestinians. So while those asking for Palestinians to be evacuated for their safety certainly have noble intentions, I ask of you: where they will go? Can you imagine walking away from home knowing you're heading into nothing? What's the difference between living in the rumbles of their homes and being homeless in another country?
The ones who decide to stay (and the ones unable to leave) are likely not making it for much longer. According to the United Nations, roughly 6,400 Palestinians and 300 Israelis have been killed in the ongoing conflict since 2008, not counting the recent fatalities. Is it truly a war if one side is so overpowering in its resources and retaliations? I feel the need to point out these stats to question why the notion that "violence is never the answer" is only used now. When it has been the only response until now.
Then again, Hamas remains a polarizing force in Palestinian society. They're an organization that's slaughtering families and less than a third of Palestinians think the group deserves to represent them. There has not been an opportunity, however, for elections to change their representatives. Palestinians living in Gaza must endure an unstable political reality with an unrepresentative government implementing repressive policies against LGBTQ people and abusive policies against detainees. Israel's Prime Minister Netanyahu purposefully propped up Hamas and there has been speculation that Iran has supported them. I've seen many post as if it's a fact, so I'd like to reinforce that it's speculation. In essence, Hamas is a terrorist group with questionable history and even more questionable allies. None of which has the Palestine's best interests at heart.
This has been overly long, and I still haven't touched on all topics I wished to address. Some I probably couldn't express properly since it's such a complex geopolitical issue. Then again, no one seems to try while all seem very comfortable in being as biased as they wish to be. So I thought I add my compassionate two cents in favor of Palestine and all the years of oppresion they've endured. I still hope you'll read this to the end, and extended to Palestine the same sympathetic hand you've rightfully extended to Israeli citizens.
My heart aches for the innocent people murdered, Palestinian and Israeli. Settlers aren’t innocent, but people who were born there didn't really choose to be one. Jewish people following matters of faith don't deserve to die. No one has (or should have) the right to take someone's life away. People at the Gaza Strip that are either just trying to survive or attempting to protect their homes also don't deserve to die, as flawed as their logic and actions might be, and many are missing that nuance. The denial of food, water, and medical aid, violates the Geneva convention. And it's a kind of retaliation that Palestine in its entirety will never be able to match.
Currently, the Israeli government is preparing a ground invasion of Gaza. An anonymous Israeli official said they would turn Gaza into “a city of tents.” A parliamentarian said that Israel should not concern itself with the safety of any Gazans who “chose” to stay in the Gaza Strip, as if every crossing hasn't been blocked.
Soon, the 'war' will end. And when it does, I can assure you Palestine won't be the last one standing. They've never had a real chance. I'd like to remember everyone that, despite Netanyahu's claims that they are "human animals", Palestinians are human beings. People. All of which deserve to live, deserve compassion and deserve protection. They also deserve to be remembered.
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querenciasturniolo · 9 months
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strange ⮕ c.s.
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word count: 1.4k
warnings: lots of inner monologue, awkwardness, swearing, corniness, she/her pronouns
summary: request
a/n: this was requested again by the lovely @rainsoakedphoenix!!! this was super fun, and i had the idea to write it from chris’ point of view (still second person pov), so hopefully it works 🤞🏻
(this fic has jokes written in it about “chris having a crush on matt” bc of how prominent the jokes are in the fandom, but it doesn’t solely revolve around those jokes)
everything written is completely fictional. the people i write for are written with characteristics and mannerisms that i made for them, this is in no way depicting what would actually happen in real life.
The comments had been going on for ages, and Chris genuinely didn’t know how everyone found out.
the way chris looks at y/n in todays vlog ?
i never would have guessed the girl chris has been talking about is y/n, but honestly the last few vlogs have really swayed me
okay no, but how has this never occurred to me ? i would have thought she’d end up with matt
Sure, he’d always had a hard time hiding his emotions on his face, but surely the fans didn’t really know he had feelings for you. He’d tried to ignore all of the comments about it, until the edits started rolling in. Every other edit on his for you page was the way he looked at you when you weren’t looking, or the way he’d look away when you turned to face him with pink cheeks.
It was his fault, for letting it slip on a live that he had feelings for someone, and of course the fans started sleuthing. It wasn’t like he’d declared his love for you on the top of a building with a megaphone, but the swiftness in which the questioning comments turned into matter-of-fact statements on any vlog you were in or any photo dump you were included in had Chris realizing he really should learn to control his face.
“Have you seen this one?” Matt asked. Chris looked up from his phone and watched Matt’s screen. It was an edit, a few of the clips from Wednesday’s vlog showing how disgustingly enamored he looked with you. Chris groaned and flopped back on Matt’s bed. “Did you read the caption?” Matt asked, his voice sounding as if he was holding back a laugh.
Chris shook his head and mumbled a reply into the pillow, not even understanding himself as Matt read it out loud. “Chris really went from having a crush on Matt to having a crush on the girl equivalent.” Chris pulled the pillow off of his face and glared, Matt’s laughter spilling out of him as he pulled his phone back towards him.
“Don’t laugh at a joke about me having a crush on you, it’s fucking weird.” Chris grumbled. “And she isn’t even that much like you.”
Matt huffed and shrugged his shoulders. “Tell that to the countless comparison edits of the two of us on my for you page.” He retorted, Chris rolling his eyes and sitting up to throw the pillow in his direction. He stood, Matt glancing up from his phone with a frown. “Where are you going?”
He turned. “The living room, your presence is getting on my nerves.” He said, Matt scoffing and turning his attention back to his phone.
Of course he’d seen the comparison edits, how could he not? You were soft spoken, only occasionally getting loud enough when whatever you were talking about was important to you. You were incredibly observant, and never the first person to point something out. All of the fans had said you and Matt were one in the same, which made sense as to how comfortable Chris was around you almost immediately. But it was still odd that the fans said that, because to Chris, you were just…you, and he couldn’t help but catch feelings for you.
In all reality, it hit him like a truck, and it scared the shit out of him. One day, the four of you were hanging out, and then out of nowhere, he had a headache with how fast the realization hit him. Things were different after that, at least for him. It felt as though everything that came out of his mouth directed at you was awkward, and that you could see right through the facade he held up to keep his feelings from you unknown.
You’d continued to be yourself throughout everything, though it worried him that any time the jokes about Chris’ crush on you were brought up, you’d immediately blush and change the topic. He didn’t want to immediately think that you had feelings for him as well, but he also didn’t want to think you didn’t. He didn’t know what he wanted, truthfully. He wanted everything out in the open, but at the same time he didn’t.
Chris groaned and flopped forward on the couch, his groan being muffled by the couch cushions. He stayed like that for a while, ignoring the buzzing on his phone until he heard Nick walking down the stairs.
“Dude, Y/n’s been at the door for like five minutes, why the fuck didn’t you let her in?” He asked, not giving Chris a chance to answer before he descended the second staircase and opened the door. “Sorry about him, he’s in a mood or something.”
Chris heard your quiet reply and the sound of you and Nick climbing the stairs again. He still hadn’t moved from his position on the couch, even when he felt the cushion dip next to him.
“Everything alright?”
His heart rate spiked at the sound of your voice and he shrugged, though it didn’t work well. You laughed softly, and it felt like every nerve was on high alert. He finally pushed himself up and sat next to you, running a hand through his hair before meeting your eyes. You always had a look on your face, like you knew something was bothering him even though he hadn’t said anything.
“How do you do that?” He asked. You frowned.
“Do what?” You asked.
Chris sighed and shrugged his shoulders. “You always know when something is bugging me.” He said. You chuckled and shook your head, your eyebrows raising.
“Chris, I walked in and you were laying face down on the couch. It’s pretty obvious that something is bothering you.” You said, your voice light and teasing.
He blinked and sighed, putting his head in his hands. “Jesus, that was dumb, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, it’s funny. One thing I can tell is that you want to talk to me about it, unless that’s just me being hopeful.” You said, Chris looking over at you. It was true, you were the only person he wanted to talk to about this. He nodded, and he couldn’t help but relax when you adjusted to face him completely, and just watched him patiently.
It took him longer than he was expecting. He usually could say anything without a problem, whether he messed up his words or not, but this was you. He’d never had a problem talking to you about how he was feeling before, but it was near impossible when it directly applied to you.
You hadn’t pushed him, which he was grateful for. You sat right in front of him and waited patiently, nodding your head in encouragement each time he was about to speak, but not reacting when he didn’t. He groaned and threw his head back.
“Jesus, why is this so hard?” Chris mumbled. You shook your head and rested your hand over his, lightly squeezing it.
“Chris, it’s okay. Take your time, I’m not going anywhere.” You said, Chris sighing and nodding his head.
He was silent for a few minutes, but eventually met your eyes and took a deep breath.
“Do you wanna, like, go out? On a date?” He asked. You blinked, your face heating up and your heart racing as you processed what he said.
“Like, for real? This isn’t just because of all of the comments?” You asked, Chris smiling shyly and shaking his head.
“Well, the fans were right. I mean, about me liking you.” He said, wringing his hands together in his lap to take attention away from them shaking.
You couldn’t help but smile at him for a moment, looking away when his eyes met yours.
“I didn’t know it was true.” You said, your voice almost a whisper.
Chris glanced over at you, his chest pounding when he realized you hadn’t answered him, and that you couldn’t look at him.
“We don’t have to, if you don’t feel the same. It’s fine, really.” He said, pushing himself off of the couch. He paused when your hand gripped his wrist, looking down to see you grinning up at him. You shook your head and stood, trying your best to keep your eyes on his. It was insane, how someone’s eyes could be so intimidating but so kind and full of love all at once.
“I’d love to, really.” You said, blush traveling from his neck to his face. He cleared his throat and nodded, trying his best to fight off the dorky smile on his face.
“Okay.” He said, his voice quiet.
You chuckled. “Okay.” You repeated awkwardly, Chris’ smile coming in full force. You stood on your tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his cheek, his eyes widening slightly when you dropped down to your heels. You smiled at him, entwining your fingers with his.
Your hand fit so well in his, like a puzzle piece. He watched as you looked down at your hands. He ran his thumb over the side of your hand, smiling at the way you looked up at him shyly. He frowned when your eyes lit up and you smiled at him, confusion clouding his face as you lightly bumped his shoulder with yours.
“So that’s why you’ve been acting so strange.”
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sideprince · 4 months
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Eileen Prince
I'm relentlessly curious about how a witch from Slytherin, a house that values cunning and ambition on paper, and bloodlines/nobility in its culture, ended up living in a muggle slum.
Unfortunately for me, she's a barely mentioned character written by an author who consistently fails to portray female characters with depth or dimension. The women in Harry Potter are portrayed as either maternal or villains, or, in Ginny Weasley's case, as redeemed by their masculine traits (because Rowling's Thatcher era feminism dictates that equality for women = emulating patriarchal ideas of manhood). About as much as you can expect from an author who's as unable to acknowledge the personhood of trans women as she is to write women as actual people. This leaves a lot of room for interpreting or delving into what Eileen Prince's life may have looked like, and how that would have affected her son's development.
There are three direct mentions of Eileen in the text :
“The picture showed a skinny girl of around fifteen. She was not pretty; she looked simultaneously cross and sullen, with heavy brows and a long, pallid face. Underneath the photograph was the caption: Eileen Prince, Captain of the Hogwarts Gobstones Team.”
HBP Ch. 25
“I was going through the rest of the old Prophets and there was a tiny announcement about Eileen Prince marrying a man called Tobias Snape, and then later an announcement saying that she’d given birth to a" “ — murderer,” spat Harry.
HBP ch. 30
“Harry looked around: he was on platform nine and three-quarters, and Snape stood beside him, slightly hunched, next to a thin, sallow-faced, sour-looking woman who greatly resembled him.”
DH Ch. 33
(Shoutout to Harry James Potter, who didn't recognize Eileen's fifth year photo despite her resemblance to Snape, the teacher whose classroom he got his used Potions book from. Shoutout also to Harry James Potter who didn't connect the dots between the Prince's handwriting and Snape's, a teacher who regularly wrote instructions on the board. "I needed to make the plot work, ok?" - JK Rowling, probably.)
Other relevant excerpts:
“Snape staggered - his wand flew upwards, away from Harry - and suddenly Harry’s mind was teeming with memories that were not his: a hook-nosed man was shouting at a cowering woman, while a small dark-haired boy cried in a corner ”
OoTP Ch. 26
“Harry delved into his trunk and pulled out his copy of Advanced Potion-Making before getting into bed. There he turned its pages, searching, until he finally found, at the front of the book, the date that it had been published. It was nearly fifty years old.”
HBP Ch. 16
Supplemental material re: Gobstones from JK Rowling:
"...it remains a minority sport within the wizarding world, and does not enjoy a very ‘cool’ reputation, something its devotees tend to resent. Gobstones is most popular among very young wizards and witches, but they generally ‘grow out’ of the game, becoming more interested in Quidditch as they grow older.  ... Gobstones enjoys limited popularity at Hogwarts, ranking low among recreational activities, way behind Quidditch and even Wizarding Chess." [There's an additional sentence on the Harry Potter wiki's Gobstones page: "...it is also known as 'the thinking wizard's Quidditch.'"]
A few conclusions can be drawn from what little information we're given about Eileen:
She's described as "cross and sullen" around the age of 15, and as "sallow-faced, sour-looking" when she's older.
She's captain of the Gobstones club around her fifth year, so she likely marched to the beat of her own drum - given that Gobstones isn't particularly popular - and owns it proudly enough to take, or even seek out, a leadership role.
The sport is described as "the thinking wizard's Quidditch" which would imply Eileen was more interested in intellectual challenges and was clever (and can be paralleled with a young Severus' comment about "if you'd rather be brawny than brainy" to James Potter when they first meet on the Hogwarts Express).
Her marriage and the birth of her son are both announced in the paper, which might mean the family she came from was of some importance or note, or perhaps something else... but we'll get to that.
If we assume that Severus' secondhand copy of Advanced Potion Making was originally Eileen's (reasonable, though there is no textual evidence) then its publication date is likely around the time she was a sixth year, given that this particular text was specific to students beginning to prep for N.E.W.T. exams. Harry begins his sixth year in 1996 when the book is "nearly fifty years old," so we can assume Eileen was 16 years old sometime not long after 1946. Severus was born in 1960, which would mean Eileen was in her mid-late 20s at the time.
Her marriage was dysfunctional at best, abusive at worst. As per a Pottermore post that is still up on WizardingWorld.com: "...the desperately lonely and unhappy childhood [Severus] had with a harsh father who didn’t hold back when it came to the whip." Based on this, we can assume Tobias was abusive, and given Eileen's cowering as he shouted at her, she presumably feared him.
From these bits of information emerges the image of a woman who either had a surly personality, or at the very least was guarded, though perhaps just formal. There isn't really any difference in how her face is set when she's in an everyday setting like King's Cross, or when she's having her picture taken for the Gobstones Club. It's possible she was a stern, unsmiling person, but it's also possible - given that her wedding and child were announced in the paper - that she came from a family of some standing and was raised to conduct herself with hallmarks of British class, such as dignity and unaffectedness. After all, there are several wizarding families - such as the Potters - who are wealthy purebloods with social standing but are not part of the Sacred 28. Additionally, the Gobstones Club portrait would have been taken around the mid-1940s, when portraits were formal and their subjects did not often smile, and given that we see only a snippet of Eileen, we don't have enough information that she was unhappy or sour. It's also important to remember that we see her portrait and Snape's memory of her through Harry's perspective and, like his perception of Snape himself, this may convey Harry's biases.
We also know from the text that Snape had a house in a deserted part of Cokeworth, a fictional Midlands town that presumably had a collapsed milling industry, at the end of a street called Spinner's End. There's a great thread that goes into details about the kind of 2 up 2 down house it would have been, and we can assume that this is Snape's family home given that we know he and Lily grew up in Cokeworth. For all intents and purposes, the conclusion we can draw from this being the Snape family's home in the 60s is that they were working class and cripplingly poor. Most estates like this had been cleared by the 60s, and no longer exist today.
This begs the question: how did a witch from a possibly well-off family end up in an abusive marriage in an irrelevant slum?
Buckle up kids, we're leaving the world of textual references and veering into deep meta territory now. I won't label any of this as head canon because I'm not set on these interpretations, and am just drawing conclusions from the text, but some of it may be a bit loose even for meta.
If Eileen was 16 years old not long after 1946, then she would have finished school in the late 40s, possibly even 1950. While some people (including past me) posit the theory that Tobias may have been injured in WWII and his injuries debilitated him, forcing him to go on the dole and affecting his mental health, I'm increasingly skeptical of this theory. It would make more sense if Eileen had known him before he was drafted/enlisted and had committed to a relationship with him, which would then have changed when he came back from the war and was altered. If we assume Eileen's age based on the idea that it was her own copy of Advanced Potion Making Severus used, then she would still have been at school during WWII (which makes an interesting parallel with Severus' own experience of spending the bulk of the first wizarding war against Voldemort as a student at school).
I do think, however, that there's merit in the theory that Tobias suffered some kind of altering injury and that he wasn't necessarily abusive before Eileen committed herself to him. It makes little sense for a Slytherin graduate who was confident and self-posessed enough to be the face of an unpopular club to be drawn to a partner so abusive his shouts caused her to cower and who whipped his child freely. If, however, he was a charming, happy man when they met who suffered a life-altering injury, the trauma of which left him a shell of his former self, then someone like Eileen might stick around for the sake of the parts of his old self she can still see in him.
It's interesting that she didn't seem to use her magic to protect herself or her son, or even to dress her son in clothing that fit, but we know from the text that depression can cause a wizard's powers to wane:
“...it is also possible that her unrequited love and the attendant despair sapped her of her powers; that can happen”
HBP Ch. 13 (Dumbledore talking about Merope Gaunt)
The fact that the Snapes retained the house in Spinner's End seems to indicate that they continued to live there even when the local industry dried up and the slum was cleared as workers were moved to other parts of the country where they were needed (presumably what happened given *gestures at British history*). The most likely explanation for this would be that Tobias wasn't able to work, and perhaps did suffer an injury, only it was at work, and not during the war. This would mean the family lived on the dole (ie. welfare) and also that he would have spent a lot more time at home. It would also explain his anger and frustration that led to abusive behavior (which isn't to say that disabled people are abusive by any means, but it would have been emasculating for a man who considered himself the breadwinner in the 60s, and chronic pain coupled with limited abilities would give anyone a short fuse).
Moreover, this living situation seems to indicate that there is no additional support coming from anywhere. Where is Eileen's family? Why were they not helping? There's no indication in the text that there is any connection with them at all. We can infer from Snape's memories that, as a child, he learned what he knew about the magical world from his mother. This implies that she talked to him about it a fair amount, and his conviction that he and Lily were going to Hogwarts well before they got their letters also implies that Eileen expected him to go there and was set on her son having a magical education, despite how little she seemed to use her own powers.
Severus knows a lot about the wizarding world as a child, including that prisoners are sent to Azkaban and that it's guarded by Dementors, Hogwarts' house structure and what to expect when he and Lily get there, and about the Statute of Secrecy and the laws around it. When Lily asks him if it makes a difference being Muggleborn, Severus hesitates before replying no, presumably because he's aware of pureblood bias being a part of wizarding culture.
Perhaps that's the reason Eileen's family doesn't seem to be in the picture. My own theory is that Eileen hadn't planned to commit herself to Tobias long-term, and Severus was an accidental outcome of an innocent tryst in which a young Eileen, an educated witch from a well to do pureblood family, was having fun slumming it with a working class muggle and ended up pregnant. While we don't know the wizarding world's attitude around pregnancy and abortion, we do know it's a conservative and classist society that parallels muggle British culture fairly closely, and that the late 50s/early 60s were a time when an out of wedlock baby would have been considered a disgrace.
Add to that the anti-muggle bias of a pureblood family and it sounds like Eileen was disowned her for her mistake (and don't @ me, but even though I know that not all Slytherins are purebloods, it does seem to be a persistent cultural value of the house reaching back to Salazar Slytherin himself, so Eileen's being sorted into it can reasonably be taken as an indication of her blood status). Perhaps the marriage and birth announcements in the Daily Prophet were put in by Eileen herself, if she was a woman from a family where this was customary. It may have been her way of letting her family know of the events, or even of asserting herself and even deliberately defying them, announcing to the whole wizarding world that a Prince married and had a child with a muggle. It makes sense that the girl who wasn't just in the Gobstones club, but became captain, would also say to herself, why shouldn't I have my marriage announced in the paper like everyone else in the family?
It's worth noting that mid-late 20s is pretty young to have a baby in the wizarding world, where the life expectancy and child bearing years are much longer than they are for a muggle. According to the Harry Potter wiki:
"Wizard life expectancy in Britain reached an average 137¾ years in the mid-1990s, according to the Ministry of Divine Health ... Wizards in general have a much longer life expectancy than Muggles, usually living two or three times as long as their non magical counterparts, some living even longer than that depending on circumstances. In addition, seeing as James Potter's parents had him "late in life,” witches likely have significantly longer childbearing years than Muggle women."
Although we see several characters in Severus' generation getting married and having kids not long after leaving school, there's a mention in the text that a lot of people were doing this during Voldemort's reign, as the fear he inspired made people more eager to get a move on with life since they thought they might die any day (I think Mrs. Weasley says this but I can't find the quote, @ me if you do). It's clear this wasn't the norm in the wizarding world. Eileen was a Slytherin, a house that values cunning, ambition, and strong wizarding heritage. Something must have gone very wrong in Eileen's life for her to end up having a child so young and living in a muggle slum.
And so it's possible Eileen Prince found herself pregnant and alone, having been disowned by her family to save face in light of her disgrace, and dependent on the only person she was still close to, the father of her child. It's the kind of storyline that Rowling would write, and it would parallel fairly closely the story of Voldemort's mother, thus adding another to the long list of similarities between Voldemort and Snape.
Lorrie Kim makes an interesting point when she talks about how Snape has a strong reaction to other people having a love life or romantic experiences (the context being Rowling's intention of his love for Lily being romantic and unrequited), but doesn't react particularly strongly to mothers sacrificing themselves for their children, whereas Voldemort does. Her insight, and I think it's a reasonable one, is that Severus accepts the idea of mothers making sacrifices for their children, whether it's Lily giving her life for Harry or Narcissa risking all she did to ask for his help in protecting Draco, because his own mother protected him from his father as much as she could.
There's a lot of room for interpretation on what Eileen's relationship with her son looked like, and what it says about her own state. She may have prioritized not angering Tobias to protect Severus, who as a child might have perceived her actions as a form of rejection. At the same time, she seems to have prepared him thoroughly for life in the magical world, perhaps in the hope that he would find his place in it and escape home. Perhaps she missed it and told him so much about it so she could live through her own memories.
The only time we see her argue with Tobias, in Severus' memory, she's cowering as he shouts. We know from JK Rowling that Tobias used corporal punishment liberally, which implies Eileen didn't stop him despite her magical abilities. We also see in the text, however, that while at school Severus stood up for himself against bullies and fought back, and that he was an exceptionally clever and powerful wizard. As an adult he was brave enough to face Dumbledore when he betrayed Voldemort, and later fought against Voldemort right under his nose (or lack thereof). So it stands to reason that at some point Severus began to stand up against Tobias too.
How much of that was Eileen's influence, or the result of Severus seeing her acceptance of her fate and rejecting it for himself, is hard to say. As for what happened to Tobias and Eileen that their house was Severus' by the mid-90s and they were nowhere in sight, I don't think there's enough information in the text to infer.
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its-time-to-write · 11 months
Note
This may be a bit of a strange idea (Feel free to ignore this request)
But since your about Jaime Tartt baby fic. I had the thought of Jaime trying to give reader a break takes the baby in a stroller to training with Roy and Roy is just kind of like WTF and other hijinks ensue like maybe someone flirts with Jamie with the baby or roy gets left with the baby at somepoint or Reader is freaken out cause the baby is gone. IDK just an idea that has been stuck in my head since I read your baby fic
Dude this request was not strange AT ALL. It was actually nice because it was similar to something I wanted to write, and I haven’t been able to do that because I’ve been doing requests. THANK YOU.
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i’ll still be right next to you my dear
Your daughter Bea is five months old. You’re still sleep-deprived, but less than you were a month ago. Jamie does his absolute best as her dad and your husband, but the weight of it still falls to you. Things have gotten considerably less tense, too, since you moved out of the flat and back into your house. It was weird at first, both you and Jamie walking on little eggshells around each other. 
The tension was broken with an all-hands-on-deck moment at 1am, when Bea had a stomach bug or something, and you two had no choice but to just laugh in resignation at the sheer enormity of the mess she made. There go the beginnings of sleep training. 
Bea had her own schedule, one that involved being an early bird like her dad. She would wake up five to ten minutes before his 3:30 alarm went off, and it got to the point where he barely even set it anymore. 
Jamie would get out of bed, throw on some pants, change her, and then zip through his morning routine. He’d put her back to bed, give you a half-awake kiss, then be out the door before Roy could knock. 
(Roy made that mistake early on, waking Bea. You thoroughly chewed him out in an exhausted rage. Jamie says it’s the closest thing he’s ever seen to Roy crying).
Anyway, at 3:55 this Saturday morning, Jamie kisses you, says, “I’ve got Bea, so sleep in,” and is gone before you even know what’s happening. 
You flop back on the pillow and are out in seconds. 
“The fuck is this?” Roy says the moment Jamie steps out the door, pushing a happy Bea in her jogging stroller.
“The fuck does it look like?” Jamie replies. “Her mum needed sleep, so Bea’s joining us for training.” He leans over the stroller to look at his daughter and coos, “Isn’t that right, angel?”
Bea makes a delighted gurgle and Roy grunts.
“Oh come on, don’t tell me the great Uncle Roy is daunted by a silly wee baby?” Jamie says, grinning. “You are Bea’s favorite.”
Roy glares at Jamie. “Don’t fucking lie to me, everyone knows Sam’s her fucking favorite. She even likes fucking Isaac better than me.”
Jamie pouts. “Don’t listen to him, Bea. We know you love Uncle Roy, even though he’s being a twat.”
Roy just grunts and looks at Bea. “You know how I feel about you, kid,” he says. She babbles. She knows. 
“Alright, come on. Suppose the stroller gives your dad some extra weight while he runs.”
Jamie grins, and starts jogging down the street.
You wake up to the sound of silence. No Bea, no Jamie. Just birds chirping and the sun shining. You squint at the clock. 8:37am. You reach for your phone and see a selfie from Jamie of him, Bea, and Roy marked 7:02am with the caption, headed to breakfast! 
You now have a hazy recollection of Jamie saying something about taking Bea when he left, but it felt like a dream at the time. The silence makes more sense now. 
You smile and send heart emojis. I love you! you type. 
love u 2, Jamie replies. Then: I hope that was for me not Roy?
You shake your head. That boy. He thinks he’s a comedian.
You roll out of bed and stretch. Time for a nice, long shower, then a good coffee from Jamie’s complementary espresso machine. You’re not gonna lie, there are certain perks to being married to a footballer.
Meanwhile, Jamie and Roy have stopped for breakfast at a café that Roy says fits in with Jamie’s diet. He says no coffee and Jamie makes a disgusted face and replies you’re not the boss of me, which is why they’re letting Bea decide if Jamie gets coffee or not by seeing who will get her to smile first. 
Jamie wins, of course. It’s part of being a dad. 
They’re sitting at a table outside till 9am, Bea out of her stroller and in Jamie’s arms. They’re on their third cups of coffee and Bea’s draining her bottle of formula like there’s no tomorrow. Jamie is in the middle of stroking Bea’s nose (a miniature version of yours) and watching her eyes blink slow, when two girls walk up to their table. 
“Ohmygod, no way, is that your baby?” one girl asks. 
Jamie looks up and gives a polite, perfunctory, “yeah,” and turns back to Bea. Roy’s sitting back in his seat, ready to watch this unfold. 
“It is like, so totally adorable. There’s something so sweet about a baby, don’t you think?” the other girl says, putting her hand on Jamie’s shoulder. He shifts away as politely as he can. 
“I just think that like, men with babies are so much hotter than men without babies,” girl 1 continues, oblivious to Jamie, who has shifted Bea onto his chest and is displaying his left hand as conspicuously as possible. He taps Bea’s back with his ring finger in what he hopes is an absentminded manner. 
Roy holds back a snort.
“Especially single dads,” says girl 2. “Soo hot. I’ll give you my number if you ever need a babysitter.”
She’s barely done speaking when Jamie blurts out, “I’m married.” He looks so harried that this time Roy can’t hold back a laugh. The girls turn to him with a glare, then back to Jamie. 
“She doesn’t have to know,” says one of them. 
“Pretty sure she does,” Jamie replies. “And anyway, I ain’t interested. Have a good morning.”
Bea, the angel that she is chooses that exact moment to start burping. 
The girls give her a disgusted look and turn away. 
Roy looks at Jamie, eyebrows raised and a ghost of a smile on his face. “Nice fucking move with the ring finger,” he says. “If it were me, I’d’ve fucking given them a different fucking finger.”
“That’s where you and me differ, granddad,” Jamie replies, wiping spit up off his vest (waterproof, thank god), “I’m a gentleman.”
Roy rolls his eyes and shakes his head. 
— 
The windows are open, the laundry is spinning, and you’re dancing around the house. You love Bea, but god you also love good rest. And a clean house. And Jamie Tartt. Man, you love him. You can’t believe he took Bea out for the whole morning and knowing him and Roy, they’ll be out until at least 11am. You smile. That gives you time to head to the shops and pick up some flowers, which will make you feel like a civilized human being, one who has her life together and can take care of her child and her husband and maybe, just maybe, one who is in the mood to get laid tonight. 
Jamie and Roy are strolling through Richmond, passing by shops and enjoying what feels like the first lovely day in ages. Jamie hasn’t heard from you since you asked is this shirt clean or dirty? with a picture near the washing machine. He knows Saturday cleaning is like a ritual to you, one you picked up in high school and carried on through college. You have a system and you take your time, windows open and music playing. He can picture you spinning around the house putting things away, and that mental image is enough to make his face split into a smile. He remembers the Saturdays you spent before Bea, you cleaning and dancing, and him, well, not helping but certainly dancing with you and promising that he’ll give you more dirty sheets to wash if you’d just take a tiny little break? In the bedroom? With no clothes on because they need to be washed, wink wink?
It usually worked. 
You’d lay in bed for precisely ten minutes afterward, take a no-nonsense shower, then kick him out of the house. He’d be gone for an hour, buying you that chocolate you liked and whatever flowers he thought suited the day. There’s a good thought. He should get you flowers, a reminder of their early days of romance. And maybe, just maybe, Bea can sleep soundly enough that they can revive other traditions, too. 
“Roy,” Jamie begins.
“No.”
“Oi, you didn’t even let me finish!” he says indignantly.
“Fine. What do you fucking want.”
“It ain’t for me,” Jamie says, “it’s for Bea. And my wife. I want to get her flowers, but it ain’t easy to push the stroller and look. Can you take Bea around the green? I’ll come find ya when I’m done.”
Roy stares at Jamie, and Jamie is sure he’s going to say no. But then Roy walks around to the front of the stroller and crouches down in front of Bea. 
“If your dad fucking goes and gets flowers for your mum, do you promise to be alright for twenty minutes? I know I’m not fucking Sam or Isaac, but Phoebe thinks I’m a good uncle. She’s a proper fucking dweeb, but a good judge of character.”
Bea just stares at him. Roy slaps his thighs and stands up. “Alright,” he says. “Let’s go.”
Jamie grins and says, “Bye, Beatrice. Be good for Uncle Roy.” He gives her a kiss on her forehead, a boop on the nose, and is gone, weaving through Richmond, man on a mission. 
“Your mum’s a fucking saint for putting up with him,” Roy says to Bea. Bea says nothing. She’s fallen asleep. Roy shrugs and starts pushing her in the direction of the green. Better asleep than crying. 
You’re showered, dressed, with just a touch of makeup, and you’re on your way to the flower shop. There’s this little one you and Jamie used to go to. You know the owner a little, but you suppose Jamie knows her better because he’s been in more. She’s about the age of his mum, and has a soft spot for him. He overpays and always leaves one flower for her. He hasn’t had the time to be over since Bea, so you say hello and show her some baby pictures, and then some of Bea and Jamie. You both laugh over your favorite, Jamie passed out on the couch, mouth open, wearing gray sweatpants and a single sock, with Bea on his stomach in a gray onesie and a single sock. She’s drooling on him and his hair’s a mess, but you think it’s adorably hilarious. Like father, like daughter. 
Now, you’re perusing the flowers. It smells wonderful, the warm weather diffusing the fragrances through the shop. You turn a corner and bonk straight into a man with his back turned to you. You open your mouth to apologize and he turns, and out comes, “Jamie?”
He smiles and you peer behind him. “Where’s Bea? Oh my god Jamie, did you lose our daughter? She had better be close by, I swear to god, Jamie Tartt, how do you lose an entire baby, especially one as noisy as Bea?!” 
You’re oblivious to Jamie’s attempts to interrupt your rant, so when you pause for a breath he says, “love.”
You turn to face him, from where you were trying to stand on your tiptoes hoping for a glimpse of Bea’s stroller. 
“I didn’t lose her. She’s with Roy. D’you really think I’m that irresponsible?” 
He looks so hurt that you realize what you’ve been saying. Your hands fly up to your mouth. Of course Jamie wouldn’t lose Bea. He loves her. He looks at her as though she makes the stars shine. 
“Babe. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I just wasn’t expecting to see you, and then I wasn’t expecting to see you without Bea, and I thought I’d surprise you by getting flowers before you both got back, and-” you stop. Jamie is gently holding your face and smiling, no longer hurt. 
“Babe,” he says, “love of me life and best mum around, it’s ok. I know whatcha mean.” He tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “Bit funny we had the same idea, innit?”
You smile. You’d been so caught up in your split-second worry about Bea, you didn’t even realize what was happening. 
“Guess some things don’t change,” you reply. “You pick out any good ones?”
Jamie places his hand over his heart. “Love. I only pick out good ones. I picked you, didn’t I?” You laugh at his sparkling eyes, and put your hands on his waist, pulling him close. 
“Pretty sure I picked you,” you reply. 
Jamie hums. “That’s a fuckin lie, and you know it.”
Your feeble retort is cut off by his lips on yours. 
You and Jamie walk toward the green, hand in hand. He’s holding bright yellow daffodils in the other. 
Jamie spots Roy first. “Oi!” he yells, “look who I found!”
You wave, jog over to Bea, and crouch down. “Hi baby! I missed you! Did you have fun with Uncle Roy?” Bea babbles at the sound of your voice. 
“Oh good,” you reply, “he is your third-favorite uncle, after all.”
Roy nods. “You fucking get it. Jamie tried to feed me this fucking bullshit that I was fucking number one.”
“Jamie!” you say. “Everyone knows it goes Sam, then Isaac, then Roy.”
Jamie puts his hands up defensively. 
“Honesty,” Roy says, “Such an admirable quality. Remind me again why you’re with this fucking prick?”
You pretend to think for a moment then say, “For his money.”
Jamie says “Oi!” so you quickly amend, “And his smokin’ hot body.”
Jamie nods, satisfied. “That’s better.”
Roy is looking at Jamie in disgust. “You two are so fucking adorable, it’s fucking disgusting. C’mon Bea. I see Sam over by that bench. Let’s give these fucking idiots some time alone.”
You and Jamie turn to each other. 
“He said we’re adorable,” you say, grinning. 
“He said we get alone time,” Jamie says, grinning back. 
“Roy!” you call, “how much time do we have?”
“Three hours!” Sam yells back. “I want to walk Bea to my restaurant!”
You and Jamie turn back to each other, giddy. 
“You know what that means,” you say. 
“Sex,” he replies immediately. 
You laugh and grab his hand. “C’mon, babe. Let’s enjoy our alone time.”
As you walk away, Jamie says, “Oi, need to tell you about these girls who were trying to flirt with me. But don’t worry, I gave them the finger.” He holds up his ring finger and you slap his arm. 
“This is why I love you.”
“Really? And here I only thought you were with me for my money,” he replies. 
“And your hot body. Don’t forget that one,” you say. 
“How could I forget?” he says. “When we get home, let’s put it to some good use.
913 notes · View notes
Text
Think I need someone older
DR3 x Reader LN4!ex x Reader
I had this idea for a little while but now just doing it. I would like to use this style in my requests so got to practice.
Your WARNINGS- cheating and angst-type vibes. Horrible writing sorry besties! toxic lando!
1/2 2/2
(Y/N insta story)
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caption: Nails done for Aussie GP
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The past month has been Lando simply not making time for me. I was hoping that Australian GP would help him out because maybe it was stress. The arguments were over nothing basically and ended with me apologizing. These texts were an obvious lie but what’s the point of fighting right now. The race was yesterday and he had done good. I went supported of course, was with him at the bar until he couldn’t keep his eyes off another girl. The past month has destroyed my self esteem and I can’t be bothered anymore.
TWITTER
User1
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Lando Norris seen kissing another woman that is not his girlfriend after Australian GP.
-
There it is. The girl and of course lando. Getting into the shower, I use it to distract from the pain of being in a dead relationship. The second I’m out of the shower I’m on google searching for a nail tech to remove the nails I had gotten done for him.
Y/N insta story
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Caption: shoutout to (NailTech) for the emergency fix! 🖤
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Rolling my eyes at the messages, I start messaging my own PR team as well as Max. Max might be his best friend but he still is a loyal friend to me.
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“We’re going for a hike.” Danny says walking to the couch of the hotel where I’m sitting in a hoodie he lent me.
“Dannyyy” I whine cuddling the blanket only for him to tug it.
“We are in my homeland, no moping. I want you to remember better” he replies finishing pulling the blanket off me while I continue whining. Pulling my hands to pull me up.
“Danny people will see us and talk shit” I pout looking up at him.
“Let them, they need to be shit talking your ex more than you. Plus we can hide you from them.” He explains rubbing my arms. Sighing I lean my forehead onto his chest, “fine”.
Y/nofficial insta
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Liked by Maxfewtrell, danielricciardo, carlossainz55 and 850,788 others
Australia you were weird but also stunning. Can’t wait to be back one day, maybe see more cuties.
User1: Mother we miss you come home
User2: No Lando like but Max still liking.
-user3: Max understands how relationships should work.
Danielricciardo: I thought you were going to actually steal the joey.
-Y/nofficial: I would have if you didn’t ruin my fun
-Danielricciardo: IT NEEDS TO BE WITH HIS MOTHER Y/N
-Y/nofficial: I COULD HAVE BEEN ITS MOTHER.
-maxfewtrell: I believe you could have been a good mother
-y/nofficial: thank you Maxie, at least someone believes in me!
-danielricciardo: I’m not entertaining this, don’t steal animals.
-User4: Getting more dany/n content
User5: we see that 9th picture.
-y/nofficial: that’s my bestie 😌🫶 /savior
User6: I believe Y/n could take care of the joey herself.
-Liked by Y/nofficial
—danielricciardo: stop entertaining her, next time I’m going to put her on a leash.
-y/nofficial: mememe
JAPAN GP
Y/nofficial Instagram story:
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Caption: Japan Gp nails
-landonorris replied: text me, I’m sorry
-
2/2
145 notes · View notes
hanichani · 1 month
Note
hii!! could u do a skz (preferably i.n or ot8) when they have an idol!so and they reveal their relationship??
hi anon!! i tried to make this kind of as realistic as possible but at the same time i feel like jyp would never let this happen so this is what i came up with😭
Pairing: ot8 x gn!idol!reader Genre: fluff, a tiny bit angsty i guess Warnings: none that i could think of, everyone's stressing Word count: 1,3k
i hope you like it <3 (sorry it took so long)
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Channie
realistically, i don’t think chan would want to reveal the relationship up until after the peak of their career if ever. i feel like he’s just too tied down by all the responsibilities he has towards the company. but i also think that out of all of the other members he would do the best at consoling you if you ever wanted to go public and he told you no. he would feel so bad but it’s just something he knows he can’t risk. and a big part of why he wouldn’t do it is that he’s afraid you’d receive hate so he’s really just trying to protect you and your career.
if the relationship ever got leaked, boy would have to do so much damage control. even if it’s accepted by everyone and actually somehow boosts your careers and only has good outcomes. mans would be out there writing apology letters like “hi, this is stray kids’ bang chan and i’m so sorry i lied to you all about my relationship.” like it’s not his private business.
Lee know
lee know would throw in little quips and hints during things like skz code and stuff. do you know how he talked about the friend he went to japan with and said he was his boyfriend? he’d do that with you as well. pretend that he’s joking and when they’re all asked about your group he’d say “yea, we hung out once. they’re actually my partner now.” and then do the little :] smile. hannie would obviously throw in a little “what about me?” and then the whole mention about your relationship goes unnoticed. but he would try to slowly get there through hints.
if this relationship ever got leaked, he’d come over that same day with the biggest smile on his face. i feel like he’d genuinely be happy and i think someday, down the line, he’d confirm it on his own by sending a not the most flattering picture of you surrounded with his cats to bubble. for which you’d scold him later. 
Changbin
i feel like changbin would really want to tell EVERYONE. like, he’s so proud to be your boyfriend and he wants to tell the world. but he knows he can’t. he would also just mention you during skz talker and stuff. i think he’d show the camera a video of you doing a dance trend or something and be like “waaah, aren’t they so talented?” meanwhile in his head he’s also adding “and they’re all mine”.
he’s happy as well when the relationship gets leaked. is even happier that it happens around the time of your new comeback because now he can do your dance challenge with you and not feel weird about it. wouldn’t address it but in his next vlog, he tells the staff not to blur you out anymore. (which i know that they don’t really post vlogs anymore BUT BINNIE’S WERE MY FAVORITE AND I MISS THEM OKAY) 
Hyunjin
feel like hyune would be STRESSED when you first bring up the idea of going public. he’d tell you that he’ll think about it but is probably the most open to it. he’d have a meeting about it with the higher ups and you would too but it would be a while before they actually allowed you to do it. 
when it does happen, i think it would just be him posting pictures from a versace event and then the last picture would be the two of you together. your back pressed against his chest, his hand placed over your stomach and your hand reaching back to hold his face while looking at each other. you’d obviously be wearing your versace outfits and the caption would be something like “thank you donatella, me and my y/n enjoyed the event so much”. safe to say stays go crazy and your fandom does as well.
Jisung
i think hannie wouldn’t be comfortable revealing it but we all know boy has a big mouth. i think he’d just leak his own relationship tbh. yk how sometimes he just speaks poems about how he’s so fond of minho? one question asked about you and he’s spilling on air. “ah y/n? yeah, i’ve never met anyone as hard working… well, except for my members. yeah, they’re just so amazing and we match so well, you know. it was honestly like out of a fairytale. i mean, um… like… you know, like the friendship?” and then chan is jumping into the conversation and changing the topic, thank god for his leader. 
he’d be terrified after but you’re there to calm him down. at some point you get asked about it in an interview and you decide to just clear it up. “did you hear what stray kids’ han said about you the other day?” the interviewer asks. “ah yeah. adorable, wasn’t he? i have to say, it really was like out of a fairytale. it might sound corny but we just clicked so well, you know.” you smile and wave into the camera, mouthing a hi baby because you just know that he’s going to watch this interview the moment it comes out. (chan is beyond stressed because of you two)
Felix
lixie would love the idea of going public but he would be too scared of the consequences i think. feel like it would be similar to hyunjin because he would want you at all of his events and at some point the fans start to be like…hmm is it a coincidence that they always appear together at the same events. but obviously that’s not enough to just assume that you’re both dating.
at some point lix accidentally sends the wrong picture to bubble and it’s a picture where you’re cuddled together in bed and you’re kissing his cheek. he meant to send the one of him alone that he took when you went to the bathroom. he’s freaked out but then he just kind of accepts it and is happy because so much pressure has just been taken off his shoulders. the next picture of the two of you that appears on bubble is sent intentionally with a bunch of light blue hearts.
Seungmin
seungmin would absolutely NOT want to reveal the relationship. he has a reputation to uphold as the grumpy one. that’s what he says but really he’s just too scared of the reactions and feedback. he doesn’t mind getting hate, he feels used to that but he doesn’t want you to receive it. he’s also worried that people would put you down for dating him out of everyone else. this leads to you both having a looong conversation where he starts sobbing at some point because he does feel insecure but he never lets himself feel those things unless it’s with you.
this in turn makes him realize that you are very important to him and now he’s even more conflicted. should he tell everyone that you’re his or should he work even harder to protect your relationship. in the end, he decides to let you make the decision. he’s happy with whatever you choose as long as you’re by his side.
Jeongin
i think innie would actually be the one to bring this up with you. after they all get their instagrams, hyunjin gets his piercing and the company lets more loose in general, he feels that it could go through. so he brings it up with jyp and gets the green light (which is not realistic at all but let’s pretend for the sake of this drabble).
i know that innie doesn’t do the ootd posts anymore but i think it would be so cute if he revealed it through that. he would post an ootd post and then on some of the pictures you’re there as well. just a power couple posing together. and then also, some of the more observing fans would notice that hey, isn’t that innie’s shirt that y/n was wearing in their new post. and hey isn’t that the same bag that y/n has in jeongin’s new post? it’d just be really cute because you’d both be so excited about it and flaunting it. 
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a/n: requests are open by the way!!!
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gay-wh0re-slut · 5 months
Note
I have a request...Dom!Rhea x Fem!reader in which the reader is caught masturbating and Rhea punishes her by causing many orgasms and overstimulating her
AAAYYYOOOO this is hot yall have some of THE best ideas i can’t thank yall enough for feeding into my slutty writing hehehe
i hope you enjoyyyyy
Wait
rhea x fem!reader
content: thinking about ur hot buff gf so you get busy by yourself but she catches you 😌 (masturbation, vibrator, oral, fingering, choking, strap, degradation and praise, super overstim and multi-gasms, slight sub!rhea)
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Monday nights were always so lonely because Rhea was in a random city and you had no clue when she would be back home. The weeks she was gone felt like forever, luckily, sometimes she was only gone for a few days and was able to come back home for a day or two before flying off to somewhere new.
The two of you weren’t shy about sending some spicy pictures when you were alone in bed, the only rule was that it had to be over instagram so that they couldn’t be saved and potentially be leaked, for both of your sake.
Tonight, you were lying in your large bed that you shared with the wrestler, watching Monday Night Raw.
“Here in Orlando, Florida!” said the announcer.
You were grateful that she finally had a show in her home town so you knew she wasn’t far away. As the show went on, she was looking especially good tonight in her gear and makeup. The way her top accentuated everything just right, and her shorts were a little cheekier than normal. Her makeup was more eccentric than her normal purple eyes and her hair was thick with sweat from her match. The way she ran her hand through her hair as she stared down her opponent made you feel some type of way.
You didn’t notice you were constantly shifting and squirming in the bed until she finally pinned her challenger staring hungrily right into the camera. She threw the woman to the side and you couldn’t help but wish that you were the one being thrown around.
Finally giving into your cravings after the show ended, you send a sneak peek of your hand under the waistband of your pajamas shorts with the caption ‘you look so good tonight baby’.
She sends one back of her biting her lip, ‘you better wait until I get home’. You huffed at her response. You were getting more and more turned on as you thought of the many things she could do to you.
‘Hurry, please, I need you bad’ you sent her a pic of your hand out of your pants to prove you were waiting.
The next pic she sent was in her car, ‘don’t worry baby I’m coming’. Her makeup still on and her hair messy from her night. You loved her no matter what but you loved getting to mess up her makeup more than it already was; you also didn’t mind the black lipstick marks she would leave on you.
Although you knew she was coming home soon, you truly did try your best to keep from pleasuring yourself, but you couldn’t help it. You tried reading, you tried watching the show that came on after RAW, you tried every social media platform but everything reminded you of her and the ache you needed to soothe.
You felt a bit guilty but you did it anyway. You slipped your hand down and onto your throbbing center. Grazing your fingers over your folds, you felt how wet she made you without even being here. You started to gently draw small circles over your clit causing a small moan to come out. As you continued, you closed your eyes and imagined that it was her hand, pleasing you, making the pressure in your stomach rise, thinking about how she knew just what to do with you and how good she made you feel.
You were so immersed in this fantasy that you didn’t hear her come through the garage door calling for you, mainly because the TV was loud but you were so far gone already that it didn’t matter.
Unfortunately for you, you were making just enough noise to where she could figure out what you were doing before she walked into the bedroom.
You were going full force, your pace was fast but steady as you were arching your back, whining for the release. The pressure was close to its breaking point.
She crept into the bedroom watching you squirm under the covers until she could tell you were about to cum and she ripped the covers off of you, “What did I say?” she growled.
You screamed in shock, “SHIT!” you immediately pulled your hand out, “don’t do that! I thought you were a murderer!” you scrambled up onto the pillows muting the TV.
“You didn’t do as I said,” she stood over you.
“I know, I’m sorry,” you whined, “You just look soooo good tonight I couldn’t help it,” your center was aching for a release.
“You will definitely be sorry,” she said in a low voice before throwing off her tshirt and sweatpants revealing she still had her gear on.
“So you wanted me to take it off, huh?” you poked the bear.
Ignoring your question, “You couldn’t even wait for me to drive the thirty minutes to get here,” as she climbed on top of your straddling your hips.
“I’m so sor-”
“God you’re such a slut,” she put her hand over your mouth to stop you from saying anymore. “I was thinking in the car about all the things I could do to you…”
Your eyes were wide and your breathing was labored but you didn’t dare try to speak.
“…but you’ve just made it so easy for me,” her voice was deep and calm which scared you and turned you on at the same time. “Mmm,” she snapped the fingers of her free hand, “you were gonna be treated so well. I was going to take my time, really take my time, make you feel so good,” she leaned over you coming face to face with you, “but you don’t deserve the princess treatment,” she whispered.
If she barely grazed your core right now you’d be done for, immediately. She forcefully let go of your mouth as you took in a deep breath, still not saying anything.
“Since you want to be a whore,” she bent over you opening the drawer to the nightstand, “you’re gonna be treated like one,” and she pulled out the vibrator.
You knew you would be here for a while when she pulled that out. Your heart was in your ass but you couldn’t be more turned on. You gulped in response watching her situate herself on top of you to get the best position. Once she was comfy, with your legs spread and her kneeling in between them, she turned it on. It automatically starts at the lowest setting which you were grateful for. You were also grateful that she decided to keep your pajama shorts on…for now.
Placing the wand just barely on your already swollen clit, you immediately moaned at the touch.
“I’m gonna get you so close over and over until you’re crying to cum for me, then maybe I’ll let you,” the australian accent barked.
“Fuck,” you whined as she pushed it harder onto you, “p-please don’t,” you lied.
“If you listened in the first place, we wouldn’t be here,” as her free hand glided up your leg.
You were fisting the sheets below you, breathing heavily as you whimpered quietly. Because of the event prior to her walking in, you were already close so it didn’t take long for the familiar feeling to creep back up again. And she could tell too, your breath gets shallower and faster and your legs tense up just before.
She left her hand on your thigh, waiting for the signal and there it was. As soon as your legs twitched she pulled the machine away from you.
You growled in frustration, slamming your fists down.
“Aw, someone’s all worked up,” she mocked.
She let you catch your breath, eyeing her smirking devilishly at you. Once your legs became relaxed again, she placed the vibrator back onto you, with more pressure this time.
“Oh god,” you moaned, arching your back and the process started all over again.
Heavy breathing, clenching fists, legs tense up, remove the machine.
Replace the machine, heavy breathing, clenching fists, legs tense up, remove the machine.
Replace the machine, heavy breathing, clenching fists, legs tense up, remove the machine.
Replace the machine, heavy breathing, clenching fists, legs tense up, remove the machine.
Your legs were shaking so badly now it was hard for her to determine if you were tensing or not so she decided to finally take off your shorts. As her tattooed hands peeled them off you, a pool of your wetness seeped out onto the bed below you.
“Look at the mess you’ve made,” she smiled evilly, “all because you couldn’t listen,” she sighed dramatically.
“Please let me cum,” you whined, “I can’t do that anymore, please.”
“Don’t worry babygirl, you’ll get there,” she finally turned it off and set it aside. The wrestler easily scooted herself back towards the foot of the bed using your legs as leverage.
You groaned in response but it quickly turned into a moan when her tongue pressed against your wet folds. She lapped up as much as she could before she began to suck on your tired clit.
“mmmmRheaaa, please,” you breathed.
“You know the rules,” her voice was deep as she stared at you with those sapphire blue eyes.
One of her hands that was holding your legs open, moved to your entrance, asking to go in. Without much warning, she easily slipped two fingers inside of you slowly, letting you feel her the whole way.
Your back arched as soon as she did, slamming your eyes shut. “F-fuck,” you whined as she slowly began to pump in and out of you while her tongue continued to work. You could feel her smiling into you which drove you crazy.
Not too long after, your walls began to clench around her fingers and your legs tensed up once more, but in a matter of a second she pulled out and sat up.
“Fuck!” you yelled in frustration covering your face. Tears were forming under your hands but you didn’t want to let her see. You quickly wiped them away but avoided eye contact.
All she did was chuckle as she slinked off the bed. You didn’t want to know what she was doing because you were too upset so you closed your eyes and tried to drown out any noise.
After a few minutes you felt her climb back on top of you so you finally looked at her. “Damn it,” you sighed as you spotted the strap she had put on.
“Aw, come on now, princess. I thought you loved this,” she said mockingly.
“Yeah, when I’m not mad,” you shot back.
She immediately lunged forward and gripped around your neck with her hand, your eyes widened as you held onto her wrist trying to catch your breath.
Her eyes turned dark, “a slut like you should be grateful I’m even here to begin with,” she snarled. “You’ve been doing so well,” her eyes softened, “don’t fuck it up,” her voice was deep again. She held on a little longer to get her point across before she let go.
“I-I’m sorry,” you forced out, “I won’t.”
“Good girl,” she held out her hand, cupping it in front of your face, knowing she didn’t have to say anything for you to know what to do.
So you spit in her hand then watched her spread it over the strap. She readjusted herself to get it positioned just right. She basically folded you in half before leaning on her hands that landed beside your chest. Her thighs held your legs open as best she could. She looks down at your wet center as she guided in the fake dick.
“Oh god,” you gasped gripping onto her large biceps.
Ever so slowly, she watched it move in and out of you. Once she was satisfied with how it was going, she finally looked at you, “Since you’ve done soo good for me, I’ll let you cum…”
“Thank-”
“Over and over and over,” her thrusts became more frequent.
You groaned at her but didn’t want to make her more mad so you opted not to say anything. Her pace quickened and it didn’t take long for the pressure to build up again seeing how it had been there since the beginning.
Your nails dug into her arms as your legs began to shake again, your breath was leaving your lungs but you managed a quiet, “please.”
The black lipstick smiled devilishly at you, “do it,” she commanded.
And so you finally did. Your back arched as best it could, your legs shook vigorously, your hands slammed onto the bed, and you screamed in pleasure. You came so hard you were seeing stars.
Her hips kept plunging into you letting you ride it out but she had no plans of stopping there. In one swift movement, she pulled out, flipped you over, hiked your hips up and shoved it back into you.
“Holy fuck…yes,” you whined as she continued to wreck you.
She was gripping onto your hips, slamming you back into her, going as deep as possible. “Again,” was all she said.
After about a minute or so, the pressure was right back where it belonged. Hearing her labored breathing and small grunts helped you over the edge. The next one came unexpectedly but you didn’t mind and neither did she. You screamed once more as you bit down onto the sheets. Giving you a slap of satisfaction on your ass, you slid off the strap when she pushed you to the side.
She laid down next to you on her back and pointed at her hips, “sit.” When she was determined and in a mood she didn’t speak much, but she didn’t need to.
Weak and sweaty, you slowly sat yourself onto the dick. You grinded against her, feeling it swirl around inside you. You threw your head back, “mmmm,” as you leaned yourself on your hands that were stationed on her thighs.
She gripped your shirt that you forgot you had on and pulled you forward. She finally gave you a sloppy kiss, moaning into the sensation which sent shockwaves through your body. You loved hearing her. Letting go of the kiss, she held your hips and guided them up and down, making you bounce on the strap.
You tried to hold yourself up on your hands but you were too weak so you laid on top of her resting your head on her shoulder. You whined and moaned with every bounce into her neck.
“Mmmfuck…baby,” she breathed. This made you notice that she was getting off on this. You weren’t exactly sure how but you didn’t question it. Hearing her moan gave you a second wind, so you sat up, braced one hand on her thigh and cupped her face with the other, grinding and bouncing on the dick determining what she liked best.
As you rode her, the hand on her face moved to her neck and gripped as best it could but it wasn’t even close to her strength. She didn’t mind though because she moaned loudly at the feeling, sending her eyes rolling back into her head.
“God,” you growled, “you feel so good.”
She whimpered in response, and dug her nails into your hips.
Finally focusing back on yourself, you realized that the familiar knot was back. It wasn’t much longer until you released once more, doubling over her, shaking and crying out in pleasure.
And she followed soon after. “OH FUCK,” she screamed as she arched her back pushing her stomach into you. Her hands flew to your hair and back gripping and clawing their way through it. The two of you rode it out as long as possible.
You slowly got off of her and slumped beside her. You were both breathing heavily with your eyes closed taking in the moment. Neither of you could speak, you were so drained.
After a minute or two she slipped out of the strap and dropped it to the floor with a thud. “Was I too harsh?” she said weakly.
“Not at all,” you finally opened your eyes to look at her but she was already looking at you.
She gave you a sly smile, “so you liked the look tonight?”
“Ffffuck yes.”
265 notes · View notes
prejacfetish · 6 months
Text
Train Yourself (or a partner) to Cum Faster - Coach Sarah' Method for PE
TL;DR
* Find what tier you're in below
* work towards the next tier
**Introduction**
After posting my first adventure here, I've gotten many, many people asking me to train or coach them one-on-one. Of course, having someone hot, clever, and a little sadistic to train you is the best, but, tragically, the reality is that I am way too busy to coach every person who wants to be coached.
But, these conversations have helped me start to formulate a generic write-up for some of the stuff I would suggest for guys or girls who want to be coached, either to cum faster, to cum helplessly to some specific stimulus, or both. This is my first stab at the former -- coaching to cum faster.
I've never had a "method" before. Every guy or girl I've ever played these sorts of games with I've approached individually, depending on their desires, their past, and what I personally was finding hot when I thought about it.
But I do think there are patterns or defaults that can help, so I've decided to start writing them down and sharing them.
If any of you follow my advice and keep notes, I'd love to hear how it goes! I particularly enjoy public comments, even if they're made with a burner account, because then everyone can benefit from your experience.
**What this guide is and isn't**
This will be an initial attempt at a guide specifically for people (any gender, any genitals) who want to cum faster. This is actually NOT what I do most of the time in my personal life -- most of the time, especially if I'm even occasionally sleeping with the person, I'd much prefer to train them to cum when I want, which might be 30 seconds into making out with them, or not at all. But, since PE Fetish is where I shared my first post, that's what most of your questions have been about, so I figured I'd start there.
So, what are the main goals of making someone cum faster? And what are the things I am not particularly interested in?
Let's get some of the "not interested" things out of the way first.
First, I'm not interested in fantasy, and that's not what this guide is about. I think fantasy captioned images where a guy is cumming in his pants after just seeing a girl in tight pants are great, if that's your thing. More power to ya! But MY thing is doing it in real life, and in real life that sort of thing is both borderline impossible, and also, if it really COULD be achieved, would completely screw up a person's life. Hot in fantasy, but not workable in reality.
Second, for this guide, I'm only interested in "conditioned triggers" in as much as they facilitate cumming faster. The idea of cumming whenever you see pussy or breasts or ass or a fire truck or hear a specific phrase is GREAT, and I LOVE it -- but here it is, at best, of secondary importance.
If you condition yourself to only cum to bare breasts, for example, you're working towards a different goal than strictly "lowering your time" PE. Imagine training to only cum to bare breasts, and it worked perfectly. Does that mean if we were hooking up, and I left my shirt on, you could you go for hours?
Obviously the answer to this is probably "who knows," but the point is that if your goal is just to get faster, a trigger CAN be helpful, but it should be a side dish more than the main course.
(Side note, a variation on this that I applied with Alan in a previous post, and that I have used several times since, is conditioning friends to cum when they see my bare pussy. This is a fun variation on a PE fetish, because it lets you keep a guy hard for as long as you want, but they know they will never be able to fuck you! That's not what I'm covering here, though. Maybe another day!)
So if that's what I DON'T want, what DO I want to achieve with this kind of coaching?
**Goals / What this guide will help you do**
The following three goals, IN ORDER OF IMPORTANCE:
1. the person gets better at the learned skill of cumming quickly. week over week, the number of minutes and seconds it takes for them to cum goes down consistently (if not strictly linearly)
2. the person gets better at cumming from less intense VISUAL & mental stimulation. if in week 1 they are cumming to niche hardcore porn, in week 52 (say) I'd like them to be cumming just as easily to pics of people wearing clothes, or just their imagination.
3. the person gets better at cumming from less intense PHYSICAL stimulation. if in week 1 they are cumming to jerking off with a death-grip at high speed, or by holding a hitachi directly against their clit, by week 52 (say), I'd like them to be cumming from one finger rubbing their frenulum, or a soft paintbrush or make-up brush on their clit.
This is a key concept, so I'll repeat it: for me, and this guide, I am more interested in lowering times FIRST, decreasing intensity of visual stimulation SECOND, and decreasing physical stimulation THIRD. There can be some wiggle room, and not everything is linear, as I'll explain; but in general I think going from 20 minute jerk-offs (or 4+ hour goon sessions) with a tight grip and nonstop hardcore/niche porn on monday, to trying to "OFM" to girls in baggy clothes in 90 seconds on tuesday, is a recipe for not getting anywhere.
**Three Elements**
That said, progress is always non-linear. So, you'll be working through tiers. For each tier, you will:
1. Get your time down, and keep lowering it consistently
2. Then, start to experiment with less intense visual / mental stimulation
3. Then, start to experiment with less intense physical stimulation
When you are hitting all three benchmarks in a given tier, you'll move on to the next.
Ok those are the goals. Now onto the method.
**Method In Broad Strokes**
1. Take stock of where you currently are.
2. Find the highest tier you're in based on the benchmarks
3. Use that tier to set specific, concrete goals
4. Work towards those goals in the following order:A. TimeB. Visual stimulationC. Physical stimulation
5. When you reach a new benchmark, start the steps over
6. When (not if) you hit a plateau, follow the "plateau procedure"
Again, I've never written this down before, but this is basically what I'm typically, generically doing and thinking about when I'm training a friend (or enemy). I'm not always literally following the exact steps in the exact order, but it's pretty close to what I would do in the broadest of strokes.
(Also, for what it's worth, if anyone works on this constantly I'd love your feedback. I'm inventing these tiers right now based on experience, in order to help people broadly; but in my normal life I'd be setting individual goals for each individual. These might end up being a little "off" and if you find yourself stalling or hitting certain benchmarks more easily than others, I'd love to hear that.
**Tiers**
>**Tier 1 Benchmarks:**
>
>Frequency: Masturbates 3 or more times per day
>
>Time: n/a (doesn't matter)
>
>Visual stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)
>
>Physical stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)
>
>**Tier 2 Benchmarks:**
>
>Frequency: Masturbates once or twice a day, most days
>
>Time: n/a (doesn't matter)
>
>Visual stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)
>
>Physical stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)
>
>**Tier 3 Benchmarks:**
>
>Frequency: Masturbates either every other day, or 3 days a week.
>
>Time: records time consistently (time itself doesn't matter)
>
>Visual stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)
>
>Physical stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)
>
>**Tier 4 Benchmarks:**
>
>Frequency: Masturbates either every other day, or 3 days a week.
>
>Time: consistently reaches orgasm in less than 5 minutes
>
>Visual stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)
>
>Physical stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)
>
>*Note: from this point and below, the requirement for every tier is "Frequency: Masturbates either every other day, or 3 days a week, not more."*
>
>**Tier 5 Benchmarks:**
>
>Time: consistently reaches orgasm in less than 90 seconds
>
>Visual stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)
>
>Physical stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)
>
>**Tier 6 Benchmarks:**
>
>Time: consistently reaches orgasm in less than 60 seconds
>
>Visual stimulation: reaches orgasm looking at images of a single person w/o penetration
>
>Physical stimulation: n/a (*Can be anything, though this is a good place to casually practice a "loose" grip (penis) or less intense or indirect vibrations (if you have a pussy and use a vibrator).*)
>
>*Note: from this point and below, the phrase "a single person" refers to "a single person per video or image." You are keeping to softcore, not fixating on a single individual.*
>
>**Tier 7 Benchmarks:**
>
>Time: consistently reaches orgasm in less than 45 seconds
>
>Visual stimulation: reaches orgasm looking at images of a single person wearing SOME clothing on top and bottom (can be underwear or swimsuit)
>
>Physical stimulation: masturbates with thumb, index finger and middle finger only (penis) or fingers only (vagina)
>
>**Tier 8 Benchmarks:**
>
>Time: consistently reaches orgasm in less than 30 seconds
>
>Visual stimulation: reaches orgasm looking at images of a single person wearing street clothes
>
>Physical stimulation: masturbates with two fingers only (index finger and thumb or index finger and middle finger) (penis) or 1 finger only (vagina)
>
>*Note: from this point and below, the phrase "street clothes" is subjective. My metric is "an outfit that wouldn't get you kicked out of a typical restaurant where families are present"*
>
>**Tier 9 Benchmarks:**
>
>Time: consistently reaches orgasm in less than 20 seconds
>
>Visual stimulation: reaches orgasm looking at images of a single person wearing street clothes
>
>Physical stimulation: masturbates with two fingers only (index finger and thumb or index finger and middle finger) (penis) or 1 finger only (vagina)
>
>**Tier 10 Benchmarks:**
>
>Time: consistently reaches orgasm in less than 10 seconds
>
>Visual stimulation: reaches orgasm without visual stimulation
>
>Physical stimulation: masturbates with one finger only (penis) or with a make up brush only (vagina)
**Using the Tiers**
Again, the method / pattern is as follows:
1. Take stock of where you currently are.
2. Find the highest tier you're in based on the benchmarks
3. Use that tier to set specific, concrete goals
4. Work towards those goals in the following order:A. TimeB. Visual stimulationC. Physical stimulation
5. When you reach a new benchmark, start the steps over
6. When (not if) you hit a plateau, follow the "plateau procedure"
For the purposes of this guide, you want to look at the HIGHEST number tier for which you hit ALL the metrics. That is the tier you are "on." One tier below that is the tier you are "working towards."
Note that I say you need to hit ALL the metrics to be ON a given tier. What happens if you hit some metrics for one tier, but not all the metrics? As you'll see, this will often be the case, and that's a good thing. In every case, you are considered to be on the HIGHEST number tier for which you hit ALL the metrics; hitting some metrics for lower tiers is great, but doesn't mean anything in terms of your programing.
For example, lets look at tiers 5 and 6
>**Tier 5 Benchmarks:**
>
>Time: consistently reaches orgasm in less than 90 seconds
>
>Visual stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)
>
>Physical stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)
&#x200B;
>**Tier 6 Benchmarks:**
>
>Time: consistently reaches orgasm in less than 60 seconds
>
>Visual stimulation: reaches orgasm looking at images of a single person w/o penetration
>
>Physical stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)
Lets say you time yourself and are able to cum in 54 seconds while looking at hardcore BDSM porn. You are in Tier 5, working towards tier 6, because while you meet the time metric for tier 6 (good job!), you don't yet meet ALL the metrics.
Let's look at a more extreme example.
>**Tier 3 Benchmarks:**
>
>Frequency: Masturbates either every other day, or 3 days a week.
>
>Time: records time consistently (time itself doesn't matter)
>
>Visual stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)
>
>Physical stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)
>
>**Tier 4 Benchmarks:**
>
>Frequency: Masturbates either every other day, or 3 days a week.
>
>Time: consistently reaches orgasm in less than 5 minutes
>
>Visual stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)
>
>Physical stimulation: n/a (doesn't matter, can be anything)
>
>**Tier 7 Benchmarks:**
>
>Time: consistently reaches orgasm in less than 45 seconds
>
>Visual stimulation: reaches orgasm looking at images of a single person wearing SOME clothing on top and bottom (can be underwear or swimsuit)
>
>Physical stimulation: masturbates with thumb, index finger and middle finger only (penis) or fingers only (vagina)
Let's say you consistently masturbate to images of a single person wearing some clothing on top and bottom, like underwear or a swimsuit. Great! You have only recently started timing yourself, and you average about 8 1/2 minutes to climax, with a best-ever time of 5:24.
You are doing awesome, but for the purposes of programing, you should consider yourself at Tier 3, working towards Tier 4. This isn't to diminish your work cumming to less intense visual stimulation! But this guide is about learning to cum faster. Following the tier system, you can stop worrying about less intense visual stimulation for a while, and focus on getting your time down for a while.
Again, as a reminder, this guide isn't one-size fits all. If you think this concept is shit, do whatever you want! I'm not your mom (unless I've explicitly told you to call me Mommy) and you can do whatever you want to do. But this is the GENERAL advice and programing I'd give to a person who wants to achieve the specific goals I outlined above. If you want something else, do something else, I won't be offended.
**Moving Up In Tiers**
**Tiers 1 - 3**
Your goal here is to work from masturbating many times a day to once every other day, or 3 days a week on scheduled days each week. (Either is fine in my opinion -- every other day is probably sightly better in general, but every 3 days can make overcoming plateaus easier so it's mostly a wash.)
* for one week, keep track of how many times you masturbate. (Generally this means orgasm, but if you do a lot of edging, count each 30 minute block as one time)
* At the end of the week make a total for the week.
* Multiply the total by .9. That is your new weekly maximum.
* Divide by 7 to get a daily maximum, if you want to
* for each following week, multiply THE WEEKLY MAXIMUM by .9 to get a new weekly maximum
* Do not multiply the number of times you masturbated by .9, I don't care about that number at all. Reduce the amount you masturbate by as much as you like. Drop down to 3x a week on week 2 if you want. But your weekly maximum goes down by 10% each week regardless.
* You are done with this sequence when you consistently masturbate every other day / on 3 scheduled days a week for 3 consecutive weeks.
*Walking, exercise, and hobbies Side-note*
For people that I coach who masturbate A LOT, their masturbation is often a way of numbing difficult emotions. Simply dropping down in frequency without doing anything else tends, in my experience, to fail spectacularly.
If you masturbate more than 7x a week, you should follow the following sequence as you follow the above sequence:
* when you determine the number of times a week you masturbate, also keep track (precisely or loosely, guesstimates are fine) of the number of MINUTES you masturbate
* As you reduce the number of times you masturbate, you are REQUIRED to replace at least 50% of that time (100% is optimal) with specific other activities.
* Walking is the default activity, and might be the best. This generally means going outside and walking, maybe listening to music or a podcast. If you can't decide, just do this.
* Other activities include any form of exercise, or any hobby where you look at your hands (drawing, journaling, sculpting, ship-in-a-bottle are ok; video games and surfing the internet do not count for this requirement)
**Tiers 4 and beyond**
Again, the method / pattern is as follows:
1. Take stock of where you currently are.
2. Find the highest tier you're in based on the benchmarks
3. Use that tier to set specific, concrete goals
4. Work towards those goals in the following order:A. TimeB. Visual stimulationC. Physical stimulation
5. When you reach a new benchmark, start the steps over
6. When (not if) you hit a plateau, follow the "plateau procedure"
We've now covered 1, 2, and 3. Now we'll work on 4, 5 and 6.
**4A. How to lower your time**
This alone is a helpful and simple method, and I bet some of you who think this guide is WAY too complicated can still benefit from this approach. Here's what you do.
Note: should be self-explanatory, but the following is intended for people who are in tier 4 or higher. If you are masturbating 3x a day, godspeed, but this will probably not be super effective.
Solo Method:
Week 1
* each time you masturbate, time yourself with a STOPWATCH
* \- the timer begins when you touch your genitals, even through clothes (this is to prevent cheating by doing a lot of stimulation through your jeans or whatever, which is counterproductive)
* \- You can look at stimulating stuff at other times, but this may cause you to go crazy or fall off the wagon (hard to advise if you don't have a partner)
* at the end of the week, average the times (add them up and divide by 3 or 4 depending)
* Multiply this number by .9 -- This is your new MAXIMUM TIME
For each following week:
* each time you masturbate, set a TIMER (not a stopwatch) for your MAXIMUM TIME.
* If you orgasm within the maximum time, great! (it's not required, but I think it's good to write down how long you took, eg {max time - time remaining on timer = session time\]
* if you do not orgasm within the maximum time, no problem! stop masturbating and wait until your next session.
* Generally, if you are following the structure, you will always cum either in the first session or the second session. This is considered "good progress"
* At the end of each week, multiply the week's MAXIMUM TIME by .9 to get next weeks new Maximum Time
* Generally there's no need to add up your times and find an average anymore, unless you find yourself consistently beating your maximum times by a huge margin (over 25%) FOR MULTIPLE WEEKS RUNNING.
* When your week's maximum time gets = to or lower than the maximum time for the Tier you are WORKING TOWARDS, set your max time at that time and keep it there.
*Partner Method:*
*As above, but with a partner you can generally go faster, especially if the partner is keeping you in a chastity device. Sometimes I will multiply the max time by other numbers, like .85 or .8, or arbitrarily drop down even lower -- and then in following weeks raise the time similarly arbitrarily. I find a more chaotic approach that trends downward is often more effective and makes my partner feel much more controlled and helpless.*
Within 2 weeks, you will either be cumming within the max time for the tier you are working towards, most of the time or all of the time, OR, you will be plateaued, only cumming every other time (and likely really frustrated).
If you are pretty consistently cumming within the max time for the tier you are working towards, keep your max time where it is and move on to decreasing visual stimulation.
If you are plateaued, do the following:
* time yourself with a stopwatch (not a timer)
* masturbate once, with the goal of cumming as fast as you can
* whatever time you get is your temporary max time, which will be consistent as you move on to decreasing visual stimulation.
**4B -** **Decreasing Visual Stimulation**
(This is identical to (but maybe slightly more detailed than) the much-misunderstood "Trigger Method" popular on this subreddit. I hate to even use that term, because people almost always get the wrong idea about what the word "trigger" means. So if you don't know what I'm talking about, just forget the word trigger.)
* keep your maximum time, as above.
* as above, if you don't cum within your maximum time, stop and wait for your next session
* Look at the requirements for visual stimulation for the tier you are working towards
* Before you start masturbating, pull up something along those lines in another window, browser tab, screen, whatever. We'll call this the LESS STIMULATING stuff.
* masturbate as normal to the stuff you normally masturbate to
* when you are close to orgasm, switch to the LESS STIMULATING stuff while you orgasm
* Over time, experiment with switching to the LESS STIMULATING stuff earlier and earlier in the session
* Eventually experiment with starting with the less stimulating stuff and looking at it the whole time.
* There is another more concrete method for this that involves two timers, but that is probably too much for most people's patience.
* DON'T: look at the less stimulating stuff to start with and switch to some other thing later.
* I don't really recommend making the LESS STIMULATING stuff something specific like belly buttons or feet or eye contact or fire hydrants if your goal is to decrease your time. (That can be fun for other games, but outside the scope of this specifci guide.)
* When you are consistently cumming to the less stimulating stuff, move on to decreasing physical stimulation
* If you go for several weeks making no progress -- consistently not cumming, or frequently only cumming on session #2 and not #1, you can move on to physical stimulation OR add time to your max time and start over.
**4C - Decreasing Physical Stimulation**
Much the same as above, but with physical stimulation.
* keep your maximum time, as above.
* as above, if you don't cum within your maximum time, stop and wait for your next session
* Look at the requirements for physical stimulation for the tier you are working towards
* masturbate as normal to the stuff you normally masturbate to
* while you masturbate, experiment with less intense grip/pressure/lower speed on vibrator
* when you are close to orgasm, switch to the LESS STIMULATING type of touching while you orgasm. Do this until you feel you are cumming normally/strongly with the less intense stimulation
* Over time, experiment with switching to the LESS STIMULATING grip/pressure earlier and earlier in the session
* (For people with vaginas, when you are moving from vibrator to fingers, take your time. This tier might be a huge challenge for you! That's fine, be patient, take it slow.)
* Eventually experiment with starting with the less stimulating grip or pressure the whole time.
* When you are consistently cumming to the less stimulating stuff, but are falling short of the tier you are working towards in terms of time or visual stimulation, return to those steps as above. It's okay for progress to be non-linear!
* If you go for several weeks making no progress -- consistently not cumming, or frequently only cumming on session #2 and not #1, you can move back to visual stimulation OR add time to your max time and start over.
Ok, I typed this all out without too much thinking about it or review. I'll probably return to it in a day or two to make refinements and possibly add examples for the last part. And obviously I'll need
Please sound off with questions, in the meantime.
And, good luck! I can't offer direct coaching, but I'd love to hear your progress in the comments.
\-Coach Sarah
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rewh0re · 1 year
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2:55 AM
Ft. Itoshi Sae
Got this idea and i just had to write it because why not. Anyways. Reblogs + feedbacks are highly appreciated!!
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It's late. It's way past midnight and you both should be sleeping instead of sitting on the sofa with your heads in your hands trying to figure out how to get out of the problem at hand. You tried your best to sleep but the persistent buzzing of your phone due to the incoming notifications left you sleepless.
"I thought we were careful enough," you took your phone in your hand, opening Instagram only to be spammed by notifications that said you were tagged in several photos and comments by random accounts. There were also thousands of follow requests from said accounts.
"We were careful. They just get their way every single time," Sae had talked to his manager a few hours ago about how a picture of the both of you had taken the internet by storm.
You were out for a date with Sae after his recent victory. The picture was taken after the date when Sae had kissed you under the street light beside an empty park or at least what you thought was an empty park. When you first saw the picture trending, the fans did not yet know who you were, you were still an unknown person who seemed to be Sae's significant other. Within a few hours however, they had found out your name and your account and since then you were on the receiving side of several hate comments and a few supportive ones.
'Sae can do better.'
'They aren't all that.'
'ugh Sae, leave them and date me.'
And other such comments were plaguing the picture. You got several such DMs too that honestly made you feel a bit down and you weren't feeling your best after seeing these.
But along with these there were also a few supportive comments that asked the people to leave you both alone and show you some respect and that it was Sae's choice who he dated and if he was happy it was enough. These comments made you smile. People could be bitter as well as sweet, you concluded.
"What's wrong with the people commenting all of this bullshit? Don't they have anything better to do in life?" Sae's eyes narrowed as he scanned through the various comments and captions.
"This was bound to be the result once our relationship was made public. I'm not complaining, some people can be weird about their idols getting into a relationship," you sighed as you silenced your phone and kept it on the coffee table. This was definitely not good for your mental health as you already thought about Sae finding someone better, probably some pretty fan of his. These thoughts plagued you at night.
"Don't you dare think about me leaving you or something. Don't you let these petty jobless people make you think that you're anything less than perfect for me," Sae held your hand as he seemed to catch on your troubling thoughts. He somehow always knew what was going on with you. Somehow he could read you like an open book. His eyes told you how much he loved you and how important your presence was in his life.
"I'll try Sae. That's the only thing I can do right now. Anyways, these will die down with time. We should sleep now. It's late," you kissed his cheek as you got up from the sofa and headed towards your bedroom.
You stopped midway through, as you noticed your boyfriend was not following you. Instead, he was still on the sofa and it looked like he was deep in his thoughts.
"Aren't you coming? Let them be, as I said it'll die down--"
"I'm gonna make it public first thing in the morning," he turned around to look at you, a serious look in his eyes.
"Sae..people already know, there's no need to--"
"No no, I'm gonna confirm it in the morning. It's been long enough. I'm not doing this for the media either, I'm doing this because I cannot keep loving you in private any longer. I'm tired of always being so on guard with you when we go out," he interrupted you yet again as he closed the distance between you both, now standing in front of you with your face in his hands.
"Sae.." you started but you honestly did not know what to say.
"Are you okay with that?" He looked deep into your eyes as if he was searching for your answer in them.
"Okay," you let out a little laughter as you pecked his lips and broke away from him. "But for now, please, please come to bed."
And true to his words, the next morning you were tagged on Sae's official Instagram post which was a picture of you kissing his cheek as a small, barely there smile was plastered on Sae's face. You smiled a little at the post, not caring about the incessant buzzing of your phone.
'I love you a bit too much' read the caption.
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