#because i am not in her life anymore so like when i am it would go back to how it was

[tonkatsubowl]

hsr penacony men reacting to the reader being a yandere

▼ trigger warning. for alot of things.

aventurine would most definitely keep an eye on you. he previously stated that he lost everything in life and that he had nothing else to lose anymore, but now... with your love for him, he knew that he would never try to lose you. however, your behavior got worse as the two of you got into a relationship. you became obsessive, possessive and toxic at times. you threatened others when they got too close to him, and there were times where he literally had to hold you back. aventurine liked this side a bit, but when it got triggered, he had to do everything he can to prevent you from murdering everyone in sight. he'd soothe you with words to calm you down, and there would be times where he had to physically keep you down. kisses and hugs would do the trick, but sometimes it'd take more than that.

"again?" aventurine murmured as he approached the dark alleyway of the outskirts of penacony.

the stench of blood filled his nostrils as he approached you obliterating an innocent person, your eyes wide and an insane smile adoring your veil.

"(y/n)..." he placed a hand atop of your shoulder, seizing you of your actions. you look over, your blood-covered face softening when you see your lover.

"she's dead. there's no need to make a mess now." he soothes you, stroking your hair as he began to clean you up with a handkerchief.

"she was certainly being a mess earlier," you cooed, "i had to get rid of her. she was talking about wanting to sleep with you, and—"

he hushed you by pressing his lips against yours, before pulling away. he couldn't help his popularity in penacony, but his reputation was extremely dangerous. because of you.

"it's alright, dear. remind yourself that nobody other than you will be able to have me."

"... hehehe. i just love you so much, kakavasha."

dropping the murder weapon, you embraced him, tainting his expensive clothing with the victim's blood.

"... i love you too." his gaze softens, looking at the gruesome sight before him. now he has to clean this up...

dr ratio knew that this side of you was hidden, somewhere, waiting to be summoned. he knew the moment he met you for the first time, there was something about you that wasn't... right. and now time has flown by, and the both of you were engaged in a relationship. however, he didn't calculate that this side of you would be so dark.

luckily for you, dr ratio was an introvert and only spent his time reading books and whatnot. he spends his days indoors, doing whatever a mathematical, physiological and scientific genius would do, so you didn't have to worry about him going off.

however, just one moment he walks into a public library and all hell breaks loose. a woman admiring him from afar would be declared missing, and you would obviously be the reason why.

he sighed, seeing that the woman's body was laid to rest, and you were approaching him with the murder weapon in hand.

"veritas!" you exclaimed, bouncing towards him with glee, "i missed you!"

he eyes at the gruesome sight behind you, sighing to himself as you embraced him. you impressed him, seeing that he did not calculate this dangerous side of you. but you had to be controlled. he definitely learned that questioning you of your antics and beliefs would drive you crazy and go on both a rampant and a rampage.

"...i missed you, as well. but please do not make a mess, next time. i'd rather not see you coat yourself with blood again. if anyone sees you, then—"

"or what." you threatened, your eyes widening. "let them see. let the world see! the world needs to know that you're mine. you're mine. you're mine. you're mine! you're mi—" you went off again, and he had to quiet you by placing a hand atop of your head. "i am yours," he forced himself to reassure you, "but i would much rather you not get caught. do you understand that?"

as though your demeanor changed, you became a guilty dog that was caught ripping something apart (literally). your eyes pleaded, as you look down.

"okay..."

"good. now let's clean you up."

sunday knew this side of you. considering he was also a manipulative person, he truly didn't mind that you were doing this but at the same time, he had a reputation to keep. he didn't want you to dirty the streets of penacony due to a bit of jealousy or hatred towards other people who admired sunday.

but he was given word that you were killing one of the guard dogs of the family, who spoke ill about you. well deserved, he thought, until he had to clean up after you.

the doors opened, revealing you, multiple guards watching you with horror and disgust, and the victim that could not be even seen as a victim anymore but a pile of intestines and minced meat.

he sighed, pinching his nose, before approaching you. the guards around him shook with terror as they were confused how he of all people was not affected by your actions.

"(y/n)," he calls out to you, "must you be this dirty with your actions?"

"he was talking ill about you." you say, looking towards him as you got up, happily skipping towards him, "so i got rid of him."

well deserved, sunday once again thought, but now he has a mess to clean up.

he signaled the guards to clean up the minced meat pile, before wrapping an arm around your shoulder. "now i have to drag you into the bath to get you washed up."

"okay! will you join me? you have to. you need to. or else everyone here dies, and—"

"i will." sunday nods slowly, pressing his lips at corner of your lips. "do not fret."

and because of this, and all the previous other events you did, you were practically nicknamed the "dog of sunday". you were a dog to be corrected on a leash, always by sunday's side, and a threat to those who opposed the man.

loyal, and forever by his side, waiting to bite.

#honkai star rail #hsr #hsr x reader #hsr sunday #hsr dr ratio #hsr aventurine #sunday x reader #dr ratio x reader #aventurine x reader

[changingplumbob]

Romero Household: Chapter 1, Part 4

Dia de los Muertos wraps up and we visit our friendly neighbourhood infants!

CW: Discussions of death

Marta’s first language is Spanish so she is teaching Keira (and me) some common Spanish phrases/words Abuelo/Abuela: Grandfather/Grandmother Ay dios mio: omg equivalent Buenas noches: Good evening / Good night Carino: Term of endearment for a loved one Cuídate!: Take care De nada!: You’re welcome/no problem Lo siento: Sorry Padre: Father Por favor: Please Si: Yes Te amo: I love you

With the departure of the Fosters leaving the couple alone, Marta has broken out the face paint to adorn her and Keira. It’s another way of honouring their ancestors.

Marta: Hold still por favor

Keira: I am holding still

Marta: Shhhh, moving your lips counts

Keira: Why didn't we do this before dinner

Marta: I haven't done it for ages so I'm not sure I'm good anymore. I didn't want the dinner thrown apart by focus on my lack of painting skill. Just one more line… there! All done, I’ll take a picture to show you

Keira: Wow this looks great! You’re really going all out this year

Marta: *sighs* I felt bad for all those years Liam didn’t let me make one

Keira: I should have done more than kick his ass

Marta: Carino violence solves nothing. He's in prison for now, let's not think of him

Keira: I’m sorry we didn’t make one at Alexander’s house, I didn’t realise what it meant

Marta: De nada. I didn’t say to you, how could you know

Keira: I suppose. But don’t let us miss it again

Marta: Si. I promise

Keira: Do you… do you think they would have liked me

Marta: I know they’re happy I’m happy but si. Padre would be happy you're active, he was to. And mama would love to talk to you about the ocean life

Keira: You think

Marta: Si. Being so close to the ocean was what she loved about Cuba. She missed it when we moved to Texas

Keira: Well I’m glad you left for Windenburg. Even though it was because…

Marta: Everyone was gone? I didn’t have to leave after padre and mama died. I had the community still but I felt alone. I don’t feel alone anymore

Keira: I’m so glad I worked up the nerve to propose

Marta: *giggles* It’s good you did or I would have had to do something extremely romantic

Keira: I mean… you could still do something extremely romantic if you wanted?

Marta: Maybe I’m saving it for the honeymoon

Keira: Can I get a preview

The two embrace on the sofa, feeling warm and fulfilled.

Abuelo Manuel: Did you see Rafael? She cooked the chimi to perfection. Remembered what we taught her

Padre Rafael: Si padre, she did a good job

Abuela Maria: Will you two shush, I’m trying to listen

Manuel: Corazon I think their conversation is finished

Mama Aymee: *sniffles* She looks so happy and grown up

Rafael: Ay dios mio, you’ll make me cry mi vida

Aymee: Lo siento. I just… we didn’t see our daughter for so long

Maria: You heard what that fiancé said, she’ll make sure Marta does the ofrenda now. She’s a keeper

Manuel: Do you think there will be a new generation next time we visit

Aymee: That would be nice *sniffles* even if would make me cry

Keira: The place definitely feels full when everyone is here, I thought we got a big unit

Marta: We did, people just fill it well

Keira: Am I meant to feel like I’m being watched

Marta: You’re meant to feel loved. I always want you to feel loved

Keira: I feel loved whenever I look in your eyes. Shall we go to bed

Marta: Si, I’ll just say buenas noches to everyone

Keira: We can leave the ofrenda up longer than tomorrow morning if you like

Marta: No. They’ll all be back in the forever save by then

Maria: Are you snooping

Manuel: No! I can’t snoop on what is out in the open, can I?

Rafael: I’m happy she’s still got these photos

Aymee: Liam didn’t take everything from her

Rafael: If I was still alive-

Manuel: There’s no point thinking about what we can’t do

Maria: She’ll be bueno

Rafael: Mi vida, it’s time to go

Aymee: Can’t I just watch her for another five minutes

Manuel: Dawn is coming, we must get back

Aymee: Buenas noches Marta, I leave all my love with you, te amo

In the morning Marta returns the living/dining room to its normal layout while Keira is on laundry duty. Taking their clothes to the shared laundry she wonders why so many people have left their washing in the machines. Being a helpful sim, she moves stuff to the dryers. Fingers crossed none of the clothes shrink!

Marta has harvested what she can from the garden and is singing to herself when Keira walks past in her work clothes.

Marta: Ay dios mio, is it 8am already?

Keira: Si. Te amo sweetheart

Marta: Te amo! Cuídate! Where did I leave my work gear?

Luckily she’s only a few minutes late to the local coffee shop, the perks of a quick commute. After an uneventful shift, where she mostly daydreamed about the upcoming wedding, she gets back home and hangs the washed clothes on the line. When Keira arrives back they go see the Staples.

Here Oli and Vernon are on the move! Marta scoops up Oli while Keira chats.

Marta: Do you want to hold him carino

Keira: Uhh, what if I break him

Margarita: You won’t, he’s sturdy

Marta passes over Oli, giving his tummy a cheerful tickle on the way.

Marta: You hold him for a bit, I’m going to play with Vernon

Keira: Okay but-

Marta: Who’s adorable Vernon? Is it you?

Keira: Sorry if we’re pushing in

Stefan: Don’t be silly. With two infants any helping hands are good

Keira: I think this is part of her plan to convince me to have kids sooner

Margarita: *laughs* I have to say she’s doing pretty well with Vernon, I love it when they laugh

Keira: Uh, anyway, we were wondering, since you’re a baker on the side Stefan, would you consider making our wedding cake?

Stefan: Sure thing! I have a free day tomorrow. Any special requests?

Keira: I think she said she’d like a pink one

Margarita: We had a pink wedding cake!

Stefan: Here, I’ll take him off your hands

Keira: Gracias

To her surprise Keira feels sad giving the infant back, especially as he smiles and giggles at her. Marta’s plan might be working.

Keira: Marta, sweetheart, time for dinner

Marta: Si, coming. Gracias for having us

Margarita: It was lovely to see people who can talk back

The whole group laugh as Stefan puts Oli on the playmat. Let me tell you, he is not happy our sims are leaving. After bursting into tears he glares angrily at his parents while we leave.

Previous ... Next

#sims 4 #the sims #the sims 4 #simblr #my sims #ChangingPlumbobStorytime #R0903 #MartaRomero #KeiraFoster

[rcpdrookie]

I am going to be completely honest - I am more desperate than I have ever been. The money is to help my girlfriend and get her car fixed, but at this point I am also doing this for ME. My mental health is not great right now. I cannot take anymore catastrophic let downs and heartbreaks. I need her here. I am an absolute mess this far away, this helpless and watching both of us get sucker punched left and right. I need one good thing to happen. And I can't do that without help so I am on my knees.

At this point her brakes are now making a sound and vibrating. She still needs the money to get everything checked out. We're still waiting for someone to agree to take over her part of the lease and we're still hoping beyond hope that we can get everything together in the next few weeks. I need this. She needs this. WE need this.

I wouldn't be doing this if I wasn't absolutely at the end of my rope desperate, believe me.

Just as I was starting to come back, thinking things were finally truly going well in my life… bad things happened and piled up on someone I love very much.

For those of you that know me, you know about my girlfriend Ebi. I absolutely love her and she means the whole world to me. She's literally the kindest, most giving and hardest working person I know. She’s an amazing person and has done so much for me including dropping everything and driving 5 hours to be with me when my health tanked and she stayed by my side through surgery. Not just saying all that because girlfriend, I sincerely mean it. And we all know life is shitty sometimes and life has been really dumping on her over and over and it's a lot. There's only so much I can do and it pains me not to be able to wave a magic wand and be able to help and fix everything for her. I would if I could, believe me.

She's had a lot of really high unexpected bills dump on her in fast succession recently as we work to get her moved to Ohio by May. She needs to pay taxes on the car, she had to get 4 new tires put on, she owes all of her monthly bills and now she found out that her car's previous owner didn't get a repair done while it was under warranty that now needs done... This repair involves her brakes and master cylinder and could cost anywhere from $700-$1000+ and this is.... Clearly devastating. It's $200 just to look at it and get an estimate and that's $200 that she doesn't have.

She spoke with Toyota Care and was told they can’t help her. They quoted her at $692 if she needs just the one part and $3000 if she needs the whole system done and the first place that found the issue seemed to think it was the whole thing so… this was devastating and hard. Without a car she can’t work. Without work she can’t get money or afford to live where she is now. Without a car she can’t move here like she was supposed to the beginning of May. Everything is so on edge and on hold.

So, if you can donate, any little amount is appreciated and helps. If you can't? Please consider sharing. Share even if you can donate. Every single penny will be appreciated and helpful at this point.

Please help me help her. I’m trying so hard and so incredibly worried and upset over this. I miss her so much and I just want everything to be okay again. This hurts.

Please contact me for more information on donating if you have any questions. I have a few other options for ways to donate if cashapp is not something you have and you’d like to donate.

If you have cashapp all donations can currently be made to - $EvelynBrooks93

#|| rpd file: ooc || #//sorry to dump this but i really am desperate #//i need just one thing to go right #//somehow some way

[iris-sistibly]

I look like shit right now, but hear me out: Episode 12 drove me NUTS!!!

📍For a moment, Hong Hae-in gave me a heart attack. I really thought that she wanted to spare Hyun-woo the heartache of her not being able to recognize him anymore and just went with Eun-seong. My brain cells weren't brain cell-ing, of course she had other reasons...duh. But it is really terrifying that she has moments when she can't recognize what's real and what isn't. I do however love the part when she knew that she was with the real Hyun-woo. In any scene or in any situation they've been, Hyun-woo radiates that kind of warmth that makes Hae-in feel relieved, secured, and loved. That right there is, "The heart recognizes what the mind can't."

📍I forgot to include this in my last post because I was in a hurry to finish it, but I laud Kim Soo Hyun for doing a great job during the final scene of episode 11. You can instantly recognize that something felt off with the way "Hyun-woo" called Hae-in, like I said earlier, the real Baek Hyun-woo radiates so much warmth, meanwhile the fake Hyun-woo was cold and I can say that he made me feel uncomfortable. What an amazing performance KSH!

📍Hyun-woo and Hae-in using their baby's due date as their pass codes just means that they still think about him/her. 🤧 Oh that baby could have been so loved by them had they been given the chance.

📍Eun-seong's delusion is worsening. When he was confessing all of his bullshit to Hae-in, I was like...so what? So what if he fell for her first? If he kept her necklace all these years, if he had "loved" her all this time? The point is, HAE-IN DOESN'T LOVE HIM AND DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH HIM!

📍All the while, I thought that Eun-seong is a dangerous man. Turns out Mo Seul-hee is far more unhinged than him. You can see in Eun-seong's eyes that he was taken aback when his mother confessed to being the person behind the deaths of the people who abused him as a child. Bitch wasn't kidding when she said that she'd go as far as eliminating Hae-in for using him, and Eun-seong may be dumb but not-so-dumb to not know what Seul-hee is capable of. I still feel like he's going to betray his own mother to save Hae-in by either helping Hyun-woo or helping Hae-in in his own twisted way.

📍BAEKHONG IN THEIR MARRIED COUPLE ERA!!! I love that Hae-in can now freely say what she truly feels about Hyun-woo and the hubs gushing when she said that she'd still marry him in any lifetime.

📍The sunset proposal was the reason why I had to pause because I was bawling my eyes out, I kid you not. Hae-in wanting to be officially Mrs. Hyun-woo again so badly but stopped herself because she knew her condition was worsening and she doesn't want to burden him anymore. She wants to spend the rest of her life with him but it's far from possible, she wants to be the wife Hyun-woo deserves but the future holds no guarantee. She was torn between following what her heart wants and not wanting to rip Hyun-woo apart more than she already has (because of her illness). It was such a heartbreaking scene that's why I was crying so hard.

📍And then, the writer and the director decided to shift the scene to Aunt Beom-ja and (future) new husband, the part when they were looking for (future) new hubby's mother and they were kinda like too close to each other, I was smiling because they looked so cute together so you can imagine that I was smiling from ear to ear with tears still running down my face. Also, I did mention before that Aunt Beom-ja is a more unhinged version of Hae-in, actually...auntie and future new hubby are kinda like the older version of BaekHong, only crazier and more chaotic.

📍Da-hye finally realizing that she sided the wrong people. I'm just glad that she was able to get out safely and return to the Hongs. But I am so proud of Soo-cheol for manning up and defending Da-hye and baby Geon-u, he's really growing up 🥹.

📍But I didn't really expect that Hong Man-dae aka grandpa Hong would make such a huge sacrifice to save his family. He was an idiot for trusting Mo Seul-hee but I never wanted him dead. He didn't even get to see his family before passing (except Hae-in but it wasn't like a happy reunion) which was so fucking tragic. Though, I do hope that Papa Hong would finally have the courage to step-up as the head of the family, he's their pillar now and they need him more than ever.

📍Can we talk about the last clip for a bit? I know the show apparently loves to give us viewers cliffhangers and mind boggling shit but I'm overthinking rn. What if they found nothing in the panic room? Or Yoon Eun-seong found it first? This story is unpredictable, anything could happen, but what I do know is that Hae-in is gonna wear the ring Hyun-woo gave her in the next episode. Iykyk.

📍THE EPILOGUE!!! BaekHong has crossed paths many times already and in those times Hyun-woo has saved Hae-in. They're really meant for each other!!

#kdrama #tvn #netflix #queen of tears #kim soo hyun #kim jiwon #kwak dong yeon #lee joo bin #park sunghoon #baek hyun woo #hong hae in #hong soo cheol #cheon da hye #yoon eun seong #baekhong #my roman empire

[roxygen22]

Still Here (Chapter 7)

Summary: Three little words from Timmy send you into a panic.

A/N: A shorter chapter, but a BIG one.

Catch up on previous chapters here.

"I should have followed you when you asked me."

In slow motion, Timothée's lips met yours. They were as plush and soft as you remembered. His hands eagerly made their way to your hips to pull your body to his. One of your hands snaked up his back while the other gripped his neck to pull him deeper into the kiss.

"[Y/N], I love you," he moaned when came up for air.

Instantly, you pulled away. He kept his arms out, stunned by your sudden absence from them.

"Timmy...I can't tell you how much I want this. I have feelings for you, too. But it's too soon. I- I can't say it back yet," your voice trembled. You walked over to his truck and dropped the tailgate to sit. "This isn't just a matter of picking up where we left off 12 years ago. I've lived a whole separate life in between. I have a daughter depending on me to keep my shit together.

I got so wrapped up in being wife and mother, I- I don't even know who I am anymore. I need to figure that out first. I rushed headlong into my last relationship with blinders on. I couldn't see anything else but him. I latched onto him because I was alone and lonely. Sound familiar? I lost myself in trying to be whatever he wanted me to be. I can't- I can't do that again." You put both of your hands to your forehead. "I've barely been back more than a month, and I'm already entertaining a new relationship."

Timothée joined you on the tailgate. "But, it's not new."

"Yes, it is!" you shouted. "I'm not the same person I was 12 years ago. We need to get to know each other again to make sure we actually like each other for who we are now, not just getting wrapped up in the nostalgia of what was. I- I've been hurt, wounded, heart flayed open at the hands of someone else who also once said they loved me. Then they fell out of love with me. What does that say about me? What does that say about love?" your voice faded to a whisper.

"It says more about him," Timothée growled. "That he's a damn fool. And so was I to let you go in the first place. But unlike that idiot, I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU!" He jumped off the tailgate to pace the sidewalk.

You blinked owlishly at him. "What?"

"Why do you think I couldn't follow through with my engagement in Texas? She was funny, beautiful even...but she wasn't you. And that wasn't fair to her."

"And I don't think this is fair to you!" you exclaimed. "I feel so drained right now. I don't have a lot of emotional energy to offer, and what reserve I do have needs to go to Madison. She's my number one priority. I hope you understand that I'm not saying no. I'm asking for slow."

He stopped pacing and stood directly in front of you, one hand resting on your knee. The other cupped your face. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll go as slow as you need. But, I'm not going to stop telling you that I love you. You deserve to hear it. Know it. Feel it. I will still be here when you decide it's safe to love me back." He broke the seriousness with a flash of his classic lopsided grin. "And if you think being honest with me is going to change how I feel about you, then maaaaybe you're not quite as smart as I thought."

You laughed softly and leaned into his touch. "I'm glad I haven't scared you off. Most men would turn tail and run at the sight of a divorcée with a pre-teen daughter."

"Well, I'm not most men, and I've actually grown quite fond of Madison," Timothée replied.

"I can tell. And she likes you, too, it seems. I think that's what scares me most, though. Any decision I make impacts her as well. She got hurt in all of this, too. I don't want her to get attached to someone who may not stick around. Not that- I don't mean that you would do that. Just in general."

"I knew what you meant. I respect you for putting her first. I would expect nothing less from you. And I'd sooner walk through fire than hurt her." He kissed the top of your head and sat back down beside you. You rested your head on his shoulder for a few silent moments.

"We seem to have our most serious conversations in the back of this truck." You looked up at him and half-smiled.

"I can think of some other things that have happened in this truck, too." He winked.

"Timmy!" you popped him lightly on the arm in feigned embarrassment.

"So what now?" he asked in a more serious tone.

"I don't know. This is new to me, too. I guess we do what we have been doing. We hang out. We talk. We get to know each other's adult selves. But no PDA in front of Maddy. Not yet. I will talk to her when I feel the time is right and slowly introduce the concept of me dating again."

"I can live with that. But when she's not around, can I still do this?" He leaned over and teasingly grazed his lips over yours.

"I can live with that," you breathed out. This time, you closed the gap, all but slamming your mouth against his for a deeper kiss.

<><><><><>

Chapter 8

Masterlist

Tag List: @croatianprincess @bluizh

#timothée chalamet #timothee chalamet #timothee chalamet x reader #timothée chalamet x reader #Timothée x reader #timothee x reader #reader insert #timothée x you #timothee x you #timothée chalamet x you #timothee chalamet x you #divorce #single parent #single parenting #female reader #mom reader #high school sweethearts #angst #whump #eventual happy ending #timothee chalamet fanfiction #timothée chalamet imagine #timothee fanfic

[dykedivorce]

if any other bitch in konoha had been gay apart from sasuke none of this would have happened to my son naruto.

#pussy from the turbotron edgelord 3000 and his whole life went up in flame. NOT worth it #no but fr it's insane how he bamboozled every fan into thinking he was so interesting and cool and badass when . #at the point im at in shippuden hes by far the least interesting of the main characters. one track mind (vengeance) and no depth beyond that #like the other characters rn : sakura coming in to her own ; finding her path and her strength + sharing a connection so deep with naruto #over their common loss that they both just Know although they absolutely cant talk about it #yamato: the only survivor of orochimaru's monstrous experiments on children; kakashi's stand in thats so different from kakashi #it makes you wonder what it would have been like with him as their teacher from the start; #a mystery thats clearly trying his best but whose mission truly is A Lot #SAI: A BRAINWASHED SPY A PAWN FOR A SECRET ORGANISATION WHO CLINGS TO HIS HUMANITY NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES HES BEEN PUNISHED FOR IT #WHO FELL IN LOVE WITH NARUTO FOR MAKING HIM REALIZE HOW DEEP THINGS COULD BE FELT AND HOW DEEP RELATIONSHIPS COULD RUN #WHO HAS BEEN DRAWING A BOOK FOR HIS DEAD BROTHER FOR YEARS EVEN IF HE'S FORGOTTEN WHAT HIS BROTHER LOOKS LIKE #WHO DECIDED TO SPARE SASUKE BECAUSE HE'S LOVED. WHO JUST WANTS TO LEARN HOW TO LIVE A HUMAN LIFE. #MOST AUTISTIC CODED CHARACTER OF ALL TIMES HAS NEVER SUCCESSFULLY MASKED A DAY IN HIS LIFE. #sasuke: sasuke #anyway. im not touching on naruto because i could be here for days #BUT while sasuke on his own so far is very whatever. the narusasu dynamic is truly one for the ages #bc i just saw the ep where sasuke manages to see kyuubi inside naruto and wooshes him away and it's very like. #oh so hes literally seeing naruto's demons and banishing them even as hes telling naruto they dont matter to each other anymore. #oh ok cool cool cool cool this feels normal and not something to obsess over #jesus christ why am i typing all this. who here cares #naruto thoughts

[roseofcards90]

What the fuck does “chronically online misogyny take” even mean 😭😭 why did this person call my message that when I just pointed out that female characters get treated more like shit than their male counterparts do in media

#not you calling it that when it’s so apparent #that she gets portrayed as more of the bad parent than he does #I’m so fucking confused??? #I’m not the one who’s boiling down a real life disorder to “I just don’t want kids anymore and I’m suddenly disinterested in being a parent” #I am the last person when it comes to believing they left because they were shitty literally all my aus and hcs involve them both together #and happy while the reason why they were gone was due to the disc pokemon #the whole fucking point of their dynamic and the ship is that they’re both equals?? What’s the point if you only treat one of them like shit #and your au isn’t canon I cannot believe you would refute me saying canon facts about the character with your au where you make her shitty #my posts

[thisloev]

my sister called me and kept asking excitedly that what's happening in my life and

#like life as in. i can't say love life but like you know what's happening with the guys and the girls #girl #and i was so tired #am so tired #i just made up an excuse that im too physically tired too talk to cut the call and told her id call her back but i won't #i want to okay i really do I want to hear about her life what's going on but she's not that type of person jinke saamne #i can just divert the topic from myself avoid talking about me she's determined and caring like that😭 #just. kya batau main #i spent the whole day working but really if i stopped doing anything for like 2 minutes all the last convos i had with everyone i #liked loved whatever started replaying in my head constantly making me feel all down and sad in public yk that empty heaviness inside chest #i mean. what is there to say. i feel truly pathetic #everyone just keeps leaving me. they decide one day that oh nope she's not for me not interesting anymore doesn't understand is too much #draining and destroys my peace and then they leave #it doesn't even matter the weight of the relationship #whether it's been a year of being in love or two weeks of talking till 5 am or a week of wishing me good morning and good night #every day. it doesn't matter they leave and they leave and they leave and they don't look back and im left to pick up the pieces go on #pretend to be okay and normal and fucking focused on like. studying accounts as if my heart isn't breaking #into a million tiny pieces everytime #i don't know how to tell her. the sister you love so much the sister you can't live without imagine life without. the #sister who you thought about holding on for because you couldn't do that to her leave her alone when you had suicidal thoughts. she's #she's actually deeply unlovable undateable unfuckable and like truly lonely and easy to let go of #i know she loves me and i know my bestfriend loves me and she would fall apart if i wasn't there for her #but it's not enough. i really wish it was. but it's okay it's enough for now it's enough to keep me going it's enough to make me not wanna #die yk? like i don't love myself enough to live for myself get better for myself but they need me so i need to be okay be happy because i #need them to be happy. and they're happy when im happy #does that make sense #okay bye i should really start writing a diary

[neverendingford]

.

#tag talk #anytime my friends point out that something I say is good advice or express that they see me as aspirational I'm always just like.... #wtf how am I am example to look up to I'm just an idiot bumbling his way through life trying to avoid hitting her head on cabinet corners #honestly it's mostly just seeing mistakes others have made and going “I will not make those mistakes. I will make weirder mistakes than that #like. it feels a little like the “I'm eighty years old I'm done with putting up with everyone's bullshit” except it's #it's “I didn't kill myself so I'm not gonna put up with bullshit anymore” #like. I chose life. I'm not about to half-ass that decision. I'm not gonna walk back that decision. I'm not going to flinch away from it. #that fuckin... “what do we have to fear but fear itself” quote or whatever. like.. I died. you think anything else is gonna scare me? #if I'm going to be stuck here on this planet you bet your ass I'm gonna make the most of it. I'm not gonna be embarrassed. no shame. #we're all living here until we die and the things that matter are your own life and then the people around you. #I'm not going to miss out on a chance to find community and connection just because I'm afraid. I'm done being afraid. #though... I have been feeling shrimp emotions for the past two weeks and my stomach has tied itself up in knots over it. #I'm so detached because I'm afraid of feeling my emotions too strongly. so letting go and experiencing emotions is a lot for me. #and agghfffgghh I'm going to make it through this I'm going to make it through this but damn it's really rough #allowing yourself to get close to someone again after solidifying your position as unassailable is so hard. #especially because I've gotten so used to shielding the emotions of other people. hard to be honest when your honesty will hurt them #it's wild being around someone who's not wildly insecure because I can be genuine and honest and not worry about what I say hurting her. #I could say “I'm leaving in a year do you still want to date?” and trust that she would actually think it through and give a reliable answer #like. I can handle just my emotions because she's able to handle hers. #being in mental health spaces for so long I'm not used to interacting with emotionally stable people lmaooo #do you think I'm emotionally stable? I don't think I am. but then I meet other people who are wildly more unstable than I am and hmmm #like. sui wasn't an emotional choice it was a cost benefit analysis. I get emotionally unstable sure. but I contain myself until it's over. #I know enough to not be impulsive because I recognize impulsive behavior in others and thus in myself as well. #so like. I'm unstable but I'm not externally unstable. I know how to isolate when I'm in a wounded lashing out state. #anyway I've been processing so many emotions this past week because I'm wildly out of practice with allowing myself emotional honesty #instead of just bricking myself up behind my defensive apathy. I want to hold onto this. I want to continue to channel these emotions. #I want to be unafraid to tell people when I love them #though with her it's more of a Nerevarine situation. you are not someone I love but rather someone who might become that. #like. I haven't known her long enough to really say I love. but I very much think if things continue how they are I will be confident in it #and not even romantic love per se. I have some old friends who I genuinely love. several siblings who I love. most people I know I do not.

[cigarette-room]

(pretty long thread rip)

I should be studying for tomorrow but instead I am restless and overthinking and thinking to myself about how there is so much wrong in approaching love from the perspective of trying to be liked and trying to be loved and trying to be good and trying to stick people to yourself with duct tape made of gifts and nice jokes and sweet words because well, it's not only tiring but they will leave in the end anyway, and loving and being loved is supposed to be rest and peace and a sound mind and the more you try the less you achieve any of that! Except I'm my mother's and father's child so I still do it anyway and hang around and try again and cling until it's dead because otherwise it all really hurts but it hurts anyway so

Just dgaf. And if you do then pretend you don't until you convince yourself and restrain your hands so they can't reach out to anyone once they turn their back on you and just. Let people live with their own decisions. I want so hard to be loved that I am making myself disposable like a used rag and for what? It's all gonna be good one day with or without anyone else

#i am perhaps just rambling to myself here #but i am tired of that tendency that was baked into me to try to get anyone to stick around #i remember when my first ex broke up with me i spent literal months clinging to her and trying to negotiate some kind of universe #where we would still talk and be as close as we were before #and she didn't wanna hear #until she did but we eventually distanced and when i moved on she was so upset and i wondered why because? you left me? #and i fought so hard to keep you there but you made your decision and now you're upset at me for moving on? #and the second time around i wasn't any better at it either #and only recently am i realizing that the reason she was so upset at me moving on was because i made myself so reliable #with those stupid promises that I'd be in her life always no matter what happened #and why would I do that? i always cling to people because they matter to me #and they always realize i matter to them once i move on already and am not willingly a part of their life anymore #and like sure i do attract people who tend to be assholes to me but it's on me as well #i am disproportionate in showing my care to people who don't return even 1/5 of it back #and when they get bored i am the one they call weird for that #so i really decided not even to listen to what I need anymore but only to what needs to be done and it's #just letting things go with the flow. i don't have to drag the dead weight of anything i try to keep on my shoulders #do i want to? sure. do i want to be as loved as i never am? i do of course i do #but i am trying too hard. and it's never gonna get me anywhere. because people only ever want me back in their life when i have moved on and #others value themselves more. others don't love anyone blindly so #i don't have to. even though i want. i don't have to #if you gift me a paper I'll gift you a paper. if you want to kiss me I'd want to kiss you too #and if you say you love me I'd love you back and if you forget my birthday I'll forget yours too and #if i hug you but am not hugged back i won't hug you again #i think that's the best way things can go when people are concerned #maybe this is a bit too transactional in a sense but i mean #it wouldnt be fair if it was unequal #if someone does everything for you and you don't return it then you are an asshole to them but #if you give and you aren't given you are a weirdo simply put #it's best if it's equal

[deny3verything]

i love best friends. i’d love to have one someday

#usually i feel this way about romantic ships but the doctor and donna platonic soulmates have been kicking my ass recently #conceptually i don’t believe in soulmates but i do believe there’s at least one person for any other person who could #colloquially be known as soulmates for each other #i would love a soulmate. i would do anything to have a soulmate. but i think i would also be satisfied with a regular ole best friend #i just want. someone who loves and needs me as much as i love and need them #instead of feeling like i’m the earth orbiting and worshiping an indifferent sun #the sun has plenty of planets and space debris orbiting it. the sun wouldn’t know a difference whether the earth was there or not #i don’t have to explain to you what the sun means to the earth #i used to have a sun but i stopped talking to her because i couldn’t be in that unchanging situation forever #it’s been nearly three years since we’ve spoken and i think about her nearly every damn day #it hurts more than anything that we’re not friends anymore. but i think it was worse when my entire life was dictated by her #whether she even knew it or not #i have no idea if it’s better without her. it probably would be if i could get over her but i can’t. i’m not very good at trying #it would just be so nice to be in a binary star system. to have them orbit me in the same damn way #someone who’d be just as destroyed as i am over the loss of their sun #just someone who prefers me over everyone else. for once in my fucking life i want to be wanted #please

[wickershells]

txt

#i just dont really know what to do. my friends never express concern for me and they never tell me they love me without overt irony or some #watering down of the sentence. they never reach out when i need them and everything they say is so detached and distant and cold #and maybe im just in my head again maybe its getting to the time of year when my life routinely falls apart moreso than all the other month #but i feel so abandoned all the time. and stupid. and unloveable. my friend once told me that her love for me would erode #whenever i vanished for mental health reasons so i stopped vanishing and started instead pushing through the illness and opening up more to #her but it was too much for her to handle and all my baggage almost ended our friendship so here i am vanishing again except this time with #the debilitating knowledge that every day she loves me less and less and less. if i am not there she stops loving me and if i am she stops #loving me. what do i do. my illness takes everything from me every damn thing. she wont call me but she bought a ticket to see me in januar #and i cant reconcile it. shes visiting her girlfriend and its the same price to come over here too so i guess why not. its not really #for me. we dont have plans to do anything for my birthday and i doubt she will offer and i dont want to be the one to do so like last year #i want someone to love me without me asking them to. i want to be able to trust people without having it broken. i want to feel like an #equal and not so inferior all the time. i'm not her best friend anymore. she doesnt tell me personal things she doesnt share everything #she used to with me. i try and try to start doing the things we used to but she doesnt do them. i shared my location again but she didnt #share hers. so i stopped again and she didnt even ask me why. she has not asked if im okay in weeks. if i vanished forever i dont think #she would even notice. i cant see her mourning the loss of me. i dont think i matter that much to her. and it is so painful #with both of my best friends i watch them gladly do things with other people and never do things with me unless i beg. i am constantly #excluded from their lives i am the outsider friend. and it is so damn lonely. and every time i'm presented w the opportunity to make new #friends i'm paralysed w fear because how many times have i lost people. i'm either too little or too much or both at once. constantly absen #or constantly sad and it's poisonous i feel poisonous. i'm not fit for community despite how desperate i am for it i just feel perpetually #undeserving. and so stupid and unsuccessful in comparison to them. i'm too much effort to be around and i get why i really do #even this it's just so much heaviness all the time i am such a burden. they just don't love me as much anymore. love lost #added to my family baggage and my dead childhood dog and the nothingness of my future i just can't see myself continuing i don't know what #to do. my parents don't support me my friends are never there the nhs is a joke i am actually genuinely alone lol #what if i can't recover. some people are destined not to. what if that's me. what if i am never happy. i'm never going to accomplish #anything i'm stuck here. stagnant and unmoving. the most disposable and useless person alive #sorry. will delete later as usual. but for reasons stated above i have nowhere else to put these thoughts #and i am drowning in them #vent

[abyssalpriest]

Working with Leviathan be like

Leviathan: *completely both rewrites a severe trauma trigger back into something neutral and freeing, and further reconnects me to the Sky and myself off plane and pre-incarnation in the space of 24 hours* yeah nice, anyway we should play video games now I'm tired

#ramblings // #Emphasis on he works over the span of months but he really is a uh... A pool of water that doesn't drip into your mind until you open the #door. And you think you will be drowned when you do but he is so soothing. And he walks with you #And sometimes what he walks you through is really painful and it's like what the actual fuck am I doing but he stays there like #duh it's what I said would happen it's fine trust me #And you do and then it's like. Holy shit. Look what I walked through. Hope you're proud of me #leviathan // #ramblings // #Anyway. Friendship ended with Despise A Certain Game now Ending Of The Game Where She's Soothed And The Rain Fades is my friend #And. I didn't realise how much I'd become afraid to talk about me. I talk about Leviathan all the time as the sky but I don't.... Like #talking about myself as a part of the day sky and what that means. I have. Thanks to him. Had gateways opened to astral memories #that I was too scared to touch and.... I'm.... I think I'm ready to start recorroborating my info between brains in astral and physical #bodies..... I think..... I'm ready I'm... I am So fucking End Of Game Where Rain Fades right now and that makes me want to fucking bawl my #eyes out because a) I wasn't allowed in the cult I was in to go near that part of the game bc they told me the character there was alive and #she hated my guts and thought I was disgusting. And b) god the storyline involving her is just so so so so so relevant to my life post-cult #:( you know. Just :( #Diary // #The child returns to her mother the cycle is done the rain clears the ocean is infinite the workings of the cult I mean church are undone #And that doesn't scare me anymore? The cult was so.... Had me thinking that any time that game was brought up they were in control of it #and they would see me and it was their game and they made it alone and I could never just enjoy it as a video game.... It #Still hurts a little but leviathan walked me through allowing it to be neutral and admitting that I see myself in it. Because I tried my #hardest to not admit that thinking that if I did they'd be in my head but mo #No* it's... Its a communal thing. It's allowed to be relatable to a wide audience for neutral reasons. I don't have to break down when I see #it. And I'm allowed to talk about the Sky and I'm allowed to talk about where and when I met Leviathan and I'm allowed to not hide what I do #with him because others may take it as gross exaggerations for bragging rights - I'm allowed to be neutral. Just because at one point in my #life I thought astral projection was only for a select few does not mean now that I do it I have to hide it in case someone like me #takes their insecurity so far that they see my neutral declarations as an attack on them............. Anyway #The Day Sky. My beloved. You mean so much to me. I won't forget my purpose in this incarnation I will not hide it #Thanks Lev #I love that arguably calling him Lev is more controversial than calling him Tengri but it's Not just a nickname lmfao

[stilin-ski]

pay no mind to the man behind the curtain.

#today I spent time with Liz. #and it was fun. it was great until her boyfriend got home. #because then I wasn’t there anymore and I was completely ignored. #and I want to call you to tell you about it and how it hurt my feelings #and how it’s part of the reason that I can never be as close to her as I am or. was? to you. #I say was because I haven’t felt that close to you in so long. I can’t remember the last time I did. #I say ‘was’ because I can’t call you right now. I can’t talk to you about anything right now. #I can’t talk to you about how much I miss you when you’re sitting right next to me because even when you’re here you don’t see me. #you don’t see me anymore. you haven’t for a while. and I don’t know why. #you keep saying you want to go back to how close we were and I don’t know how to tell you that the close you keep referring to #is when we were in love. #when you knew you loved me and you wanted me for as long as it was healthy for both of us. #back when you talked about our future as a passing comment #like it was so obvious to you. that we’d be together and have a life. #I don’t know how to tell you that you’ll never be able to be with someone else and be close to me like that. #I do know actually. I’ve told you more than once and I’ve given you all the reasons why. #and you’ve lived it. you lived this already and then you said you understood what we are. what this love truly is. #and that if you had to choose what your forever was right now- it would be me. #and now. again. we’re back to I don’t knows and I’m not sures and distance and timing and crying alone in different beds #I don’t know how we keep ending up here. and I don’t know how to tell you that I don’t believe you anymore when you say that you love me. #there’s so much I cannot tell you because you don’t see me and you don’t hear me and I don’t think that you care very much right now and #I’m just so tired. #I’m so tired. #I think I’m going to lose my job. and I want to talk to you about that too but I can’t. #I just can’t. #and I know it probably doesn’t make sense to you but I just. can’t. #I can’t talk to you right now. #I need to lay down. #delete this #Liv speaks

[chaos-has-theories]

The thing about Gabriel Agreste is all the atrocities.

The thing about Harry Clown is that he supports the atrocities. The thing about Emilie Agreste is that she commits the atrocities. The thing about Nathalie Sanceour is that she kinda does both.

(They all think they have a hard line for all of it. They all think the line is Adrien. They are all wrong.)

#send help #YES this assuming that Harry knows about Gaby being Hawkmoth (but look at this man. He'd cheer him on.) #('isn't it cute when they have a hobby') #and YES it's assuming that Emilie would act like any of them. But I do assume that. So there. #Nathalie is so funny because she really thinks she's still one of the good guys? I think? #No hesitation will support her boss doing a terrorism. No hesitation will risk her own life to make sure he doesn't fail at the terrorism. #'I'm doing this for Adrien' babe you're doing it because you're afraid to die #that's FAIR kinda but. maybe you should have thought of that. earlier #'but Gabriel has gotten more obsessive' has he? 'he doesn't know when to stop anymore' he threw his son off a skyscraper in season 2 #'his plans are terrible' he akumatized a baby 'he's upsetting Adrien' HE THREW HIM OFF A BUILDING #miraculous ladybug #harriel #am I writing the stupid harriel roleswap fic? maybe #stupid (affectionate) #stupid (exasperated) #stupid (help)

[florenceisfalling]

don't worry guys if you're ever in a bad place emotionally and seeking guidance some woman with an entirely different outlook on life than you will thrust shitty advice upon you whether you like it or not and then make you feel completely fucking awful about her wealth of wisdom that she is so genuinely convinced she has despite not having any idea . this will make the bad place so much more bad also

#this is the last thing i am posting related to the events of my day i dont think i will ever get over just how insane it was but i hope #things will improve bc the lady is someone who i am very close with #i just always sorta balanced her out with my mother and that is not currently possible #i dont want to be angry at her anymore but it was so genuinely bad. like what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck #yknow a lot of bad things have happened where im able to put myself in the other persons shoes and go ''yeah sure'' like #theres a reason i forgave most the ppl who made my life hell ages 6-14 #but this was so unreasonable. i literally cannot even fathom why she would do that outside of ''she wasnt thinking she was just doing'' #because people arent reasonable and thats usually the explanation why stuff happens that you can't understand #i would not let anyone else speak to me like that and i honestly should not have let her speak to me like that but we live on #its not the healthy or godly thing to keep this on my chest nor put it out for others to see but it literally shook me so bad #on the bright side #usually i shake when im angry like literally physically shake #and i didnt this time! cried though! not when she was in the room idk what my body was doing #i like definitely was not the guy in control of my body for a while there #i still dont think i am i keep doing little things and going hmmm i dont think im florence rn #but it was . something.